Kylie Kelce on Love Actually, Blind Ranking Christmas Movies and the Best Kelce Gift Giver | Ep 116

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speak i prefer more of the shakespearean love where they actually communicate and there's some romantic interaction he's an advocate for communication he wouldn't know romance if it smacked him square in the face so that's the problem well let me you, if love actually is about romance, I do not understand

romance. Some of the storylines are.

Welcome back to

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Go. This

holiday season creates some memories by

playing together, enjoying some friendly competition and getting the gift of sweet revenge. I love it.
We are your hosts. I'm Travis Kelsey and my big brother, Jason Kelsey and my sister-in-law, Kylie Kelsey, has decided to join us for this very, very special episode.
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add new heights show with one S and Jason,

this is your time to tell everyone what we're doing here.

Yeah.

Well,

we got a outstanding new heights episode where we're going to be

diving into the new heights film club,

but not just one film.

That's right.

Oh yeah.

For a little present for your holiday.

We're going to be giving you a double dose of film reviews, Love Actually, and Christmas Vacation. Double down.
The double deuce. So, without further ado, let's get into a little bit of new news.
I don't know if you guys have seen, but my wife Kylie has the number one podcast in the world right now. Number one.
Number one. Well, on Apple.
On Apple Podcasts. We should stipulate.
Apple Podcasts, number one podcast. Yeah, how's it been? Any easier or harder than we...
I don't think we gave her any advice. No, she didn't ask me for it.
Yeah, she didn't ask me either. She was like, what do I need advice for? need advice for clearly she chose right yeah i would love advice from you guys what not to do yeah exactly there you go yeah we'll get a good team that edits well well how's it going kai um it's going great i've gotten to have some really great conversations with incredible people and i mean talking to myself is a little weird but that's i was about to ask how's the one man show or one woman show um queen emma's writing rundowns that really make it go easy but nice nice em yeah yeah it's uh it's interesting talking to yourself for that much you don't have an intern doing it for you what's that you're actually paying somebody we have interns do that stuff.
No, you have an executive producer. Yeah, we have like volunteers that just come in and...
We don't pay people that. We don't.
Yeah, we actually... Sorry, Brandon.
We need to fix that. Interns only.
They both take a sit. That's how you run a business.
That's how a 90s business is ran. That's how you sell a $100 million podcast right there, interns, baby.
Jesus Christ. Take advantage of that.
How is it this short end of the show and it's already off the rails? No, this is the rails. We're right in the smooth.
We're on the rails, going high speeds. We're on the new Heights rails.
Is that what it is?

Headed straight for Christmas Review Town.

Hit me with it.

Why did you make us review this movie before we get into it?

Yeah, yeah.

Tell us about your love for actual love.

Love Actually.

Love Actually is one of my favorite movies, period.

Like outside of like not just holiday movies.

One of your favorite movies.

Yes.

Like up there with like Shawshank Redemption. You said that like it was a joke but i love that movie too he started listening like he was going to be like it's a joke the joke isn't that shawshank is up there that's not the joke i think that's pretty routinely up there with jason you might be the oddball out here i actually here.
I actually enjoyed Love Actually. It's not.
You don't have to say that, Travis. No, I will concede.
I will concede. It's not an unenjoyable movie to watch.
Nice. My issue is the Christmas aspect of it.
And then also just like the overall, we're going to get into it, but the overall sentiment and lessons and overall values that it expunges expounds are absolutely horrendous but we'll dive into that uh this is going to be a fun one i really do love the movie i think are we going into the movie now i can't wait for him to sit here and shit on it for the next 10 minutes we might as well dive into it but first this episode will be released on christmas eve oh merry christmas everyone yes if santa's listening happy hanukkah if that's what you is there anything you want to ask for when is hanukkah this year is hanukkah right now it's the same time as christmas actually not all the time though no this year it is though it lines up perfectly with christmas there you go which night i believe on christmas eve hanukkah. Does someone want to fact check me on that? I thought it was.
Jetshake, are you here? Brandon, type. Jetshake, I heard, is on honeymoon.
Oh, I'm sorry. It starts on Christmas Day.
It starts on Christmas. Nice.
Happy Hanukkah to all of our Jewish friends. I think best Hanukkah movies, Eight Crazy Nights.
We don't even need to debate that one, right? All right. Well, happy Hanukkah, everybody.
Do you guys have anything on the Christmas list that you want to share? Christmas list that we want is like presents? Yeah. Is there anything you want to ask Santa for, Jason? If I was going to ask Santa for anything, it would be for better time management skills oh he wants skills yeah nice kylie get him one of those old school palm pilots well no i don't think you can unless it unless it can better make all of my decisions for me i don't think it's going to help.
Okay. All right.

More time management. Okay.

I need Santa to work

his magic. Not in the physical realm,

but in the mental realm.

A man wants Santa to work his magic on him.

So we want to respect your podcasting

rule of no episodes over 45 minutes,

but that's not the way we do things.

But we will set

a timer so that you know how much

you've gone over that time. Fuck your rules.

You're on the New Heights podcast, not the

Thank you. minutes uh but that's not the way we do things but we will set a timer so that you know how much you've gone over that time yeah you're on the new heights podcast not the i'm not gonna lie this is gonna take way more than 45 minutes no way well that's how long we have so brandon will start this timer all right we're off and running all right we're rolling okay we're gonna start uh try and summarize the plot of this movie um in a little two-minute drill two-minute drill is brought to you by amex don't leave home without it kylie please give us the plot of love actually since you made us watch it good luck ready set go why is it that i made you watch it listen i didn't make the rules here you're already you're 10 seconds in and you haven't gotten okay you got 50 seconds you got a minute 50 left i don't think i need that much time it is a collection of stories yes associated with a number of families i don't know how many

because that's not really important i think it's nine is it really nine i think it is nine

and they are all connected to each other in some way whether it's by marriage sibling friend it's

Thank you. Nine.
Is it really nine? I think it is nine. And they are all connected to each other in some way, whether it's by marriage, sibling, friend.
It's different people experiencing different family things during the holidays. You have the prime minister.
You have porn star stand-ins. You have...
I don't think that was a porn. I think that was like a...
Are you joking right now? Are you kidding me? Well, in porn in porn they actually have sex they were just acting like they were having no they were the stand they were like the lighting crew they were like okay to get like the lighting right which i didn't know i didn't even like think that i didn't see that i thought they were like the okay that makes sense my goodness you have um a man who is recently widowed and he's navigating his relationship with his son. You just have all of these things that are connected by one degree of separation,

each of them. There's good, there's bad, and it ends in a beautiful Christmas pageant with

one of the best renditions of Mariah Carey's All I Want for christmas is you amateurish if you ask me i thought it was a child that sang it thank you exactly and the build up to it was outstanding yeah i think it's lovely maybe it could be my adhd that makes me like this movie so much because it's like a bunch of small stories in one big movie and it pops around a lot. That's helpful for me.
You actually did that in two minutes, which is pretty. I mean, this is why your podcast is number one.
You're very punctual. That was the two minute drill brought to you by Amex.
Let's keep this thing moving. Okay.
So let's be honest. Let me be really honest.
Love might be the worst christmas movie i've ever seen like i don't even know that it's up for debate i didn't feel christmas at all during the movie there was zero christmas spirit or anything resembling i enjoyed the movie it was okay it was okay i just didn't i didn't understand how much it really tied into christmas not only does it not tie into christmas like the only worst family value it was like the worst family values of like all time tied into christmas it was like bad people a guy went to get a necklace for his his secretary or whatever that woman was in this like let's just go story by story let's go story by story the one guy that one guy is like voyeur his best friend's wife and only recording her wait wait wait wait wait start from the beginning okay who did it start out with i don't know you've seen it the guy who started out with no the guy who's going no the guy who's going to the wedding and he's like hey yeah uh are you sure you don't want to come and she's like i'm disgusting i'm i'm sick i. I can't go.
Okay. So we want to start with that storyline.
That's the first. So for those of you that don't know, the first storyline is a guy leaves the house.
His wife is like, oh, hey, like I'm a little sick. I'm not going to go with you.
And I knew it right away. He called it the minute he left.
And she's going to be fucking somebody when he gets back. Obvious, right? So it's not even like it's remotely creative of a movie.
So super obvious that she's going to come back in. She's going to be with somebody.
It wasn't obvious in the 90s. Well, it also wasn't obvious that it was going to be his fucking brother.
Okay? Did you know that? No. Yeah.
She's fucking his brother. Yeah.
Merry Christmas, everyone. So he leaves her and decides to go to where was he at he went to france right somewhere italy or france or someplace and he has this portuguese woman who's i think he just went to the countryside okay wherever and his like housekeeper that he hires is portuguese yes or speaks portuguese the housekeeper that he's given speaks Portuguese from this other woman, which they don't get into if she was human trafficked or how she got there.
They don't go into that. Jesus Christ, Jason.
But we do know that these people fall in love with each other without being able to talk. What the fuck are we talking about? They never spoke a word.
You ever watch Love is Blind? I do not watch Love is Blind, no. This was Love is Mute.
It was Love is Mute. It was a great life lesson.
It was a great life lesson into how much you can fall in love with somebody without actually being able to communicate with them. It was terribly unbelievable.
They it... Not even, like, they're in the water and they're saying the same thing.
Look, they're saying the same thing. And all I'm in mind is like, this is complete nonsense.
This is just, like, complete ridiculousness. There's nothing sweet about this.
They're acting like... There's nothing sweet about the fact that they were saying the exact same thing but didn't speak a single word of each otherpearean love where they actually communicate and there's some romantic interaction as opposed to you want to talk about communicate this he's an advocate for communication yeah that's where we i'm realizing that is the problem here it was too it hit home too much too much for him.
No, that he actually doesn't, he wouldn't know romance if it smacked him square in the face. So that's the problem.
Let me tell you, if love actually is about romance, I do not understand romance. There might've been one storyline.
And then there was one storyline in the whole movie. That was good.
Which one was it? Liam Neeson and his son Sam. That was by far, that was a great storyline.
It was fantastic. They couldn't hit the nail on the head.
We gotta get that kid a scholarship. We gotta get a football in his hand.
We gotta get him catching the ball. That motherfucker was running through the airport dodging cats like he was Pat Mahomes in the fourth quarter.
He was just out there. cutest thing about watching was that ellie was watching at the end of the movie and got blushed on the cheeks she was feeling her so excited and then the next day she told me mom that cute boy that played the drums will you show me a picture of him nice and then i had to google sam from love actually And she was giggling like yeah she was so it was giggling too yeah but why it loves every boy that comes up on this anybody that kisses oh my gosh that's adorable that's the one redeemable story no they only saw the end they They almost saw the boobs, but I warned Jason.
He sped it up. All right.
So that's the one redeemable story. Okay.
I will say the one storyline that really does not sit right with me is the best friend and Keira Knightley. Oh, you're talking about the cards? The cards? Yeah.
Oh, the cards? That's like the iconic way to do it. That's like the most romantic way to tell someone you're in love with them, right? The cards, like play music.
Just do your best friends. While your best friend, her husband is inside sitting on the couch, tell them it's carolers.
What's crazy is that... Yeah, exactly.
No. what's crazy is that all these like you said all

these stories tie together in one community and it it's supposed to make it look like this is what happens in like a community like this is like these are all the different love stories and all the dead like this is what's going on around you horrendous and it's terrifying because there's so much scandal in it.

Everyone's

everyone's like, guys, you got a guy buying

a necklace for another woman. Yeah, she's a hoe.
Jesus. Sorry, that was aggressive.
It was aggressive, but deserving if you're going to do that. I just didn't like.
I don't know why anybody's mad at her. The husband's the guy that freaking.
Yeah, the husband's the worst. It's never made sense to me.
No, the husband is horrible but she's the one who is sitting at her desk and splits her legs while she's standing in front of him to be like, hey, this Christmas party is about to be off the hook. Is she married? The weird thing is her dancing with him in front of his...
I don't recall her announcing her devotion. This is what I will say.
I see it from both see from both sides absolutely laying the gauntlet after the after the Christmas pageant and walking up to him and being like oh do you want to explain to me what I'm supposed to do now and like called his ass on the carpet power to you girl yes at the end of the movie they were still together she didn't do anything how do you know they were still together she he was somewhere on a trip and the only reason she was picking him up was because of the kids and he she only allowed him to kiss her on the cheek she didn't kiss him either way i don't know whatever horrible storyline let's have the boss cheating with the secretary. Yeah, because that's so crazy.

It's not that it's crazy. It's just that we're expounding.

The whole point is that they put together a collection of storylines surrounding the holidays because the holidays are sensationalized. And in, I think, adult life, you realize the holidays aren't as jolly and like life doesn't like real life doesn't stop because the holidays and it's also sensationalized I just think top to bottom I see what you're saying that it didn't need to be a Christmas movie but I think that's part of the point I think that's why they're like trying to drive the point home.

Yeah.

I think that they made it a Christmas movie because they know that by making it a Christmas movie,

it would sell and become a tradition every single year.

And I think you're just a hater.

I think that this is so wild.

It's terrible values.

Not all,

not all terrible values.

Some good values in there. No, the porn couple were very cute and very happy.
They were. They were very cute.
I don't remember. He was so distracted by the boobs, he couldn't even realize that they were having actual conversation.
Well, they weren't like a legitimate storyline that was happening that much. But yes.
Also, how about, what's his name? Colin. Colin, God of Sex.
That was a good one. He comes to the United States.
Oh, you're talking about that guy that went to Wisconsin? Yeah, I just love that it was Wisconsin. Yeah.
And then he found those girls in Wisconsin. I mean, he definitely- He found some smoke shows in Wisconsin.
I will say this. I will say this.
Made out like a thief. They didn't go into this in the movie, but Colin clearly was talking to a prostitute.
Like if you go up to a bar and a woman is that, yeah, that's like, she's dressed that way. She's dressed that way and talking that kind of way.
That's a prostitute. All right.
I don't need to, I don't need to know anything more about this story. That didn't really happen to Colin.
And then he brought one home for his friend. Yeah.
That's love. That is love, actually.
That's love, actually. That's Colin has some wealthy parents, and he couldn't afford to.
I don't know that. She comes through the door and immediately just kisses the other guy.
Like, this whole thing is just so. Love love at first sight jason yeah or love at first

sight we're paid for love in the form of prostitution that's what i got from that vibe i really do love the movie it's a fun one to watch i was enjoying i was i was enjoying following along to all the stories i also was kind of with jason on some of them like this is a little far-fetched oh no a couple of them I will say the moment the moment that Keira Knightley sits down and is trying to watch

the wedding video it does give you like an uneasy feeling in your stomach as a woman like if that

were to happen to you where you sat down you were like oh my husband's best friend recorded this

video I'm gonna watch it and then it's all close-ups of your face and you're like are you about

to kill me yeah that was my thing she wasn't like that though she was kind of into it

Thank you. recorded this video.
I'm going to watch it. And then it's all close-ups of your face and you're like, are you about to kill me? Yeah.
Well, that's my thing. She wasn't like that though.
She was kind of into it. I don't think she was into it.
She was into it and then she was into it when he came with the cars afterwards. No, I think she felt bad for him.
No, she was into it. And the whole thing was weird.
I mean, it's stalker type behavior. A thousand percent.
Can't do it. No.
Can't do it. Can't do it wrong.
Don't want to promote that. Don't want to.
That's not the that's not the storyline that gets the happy ending. I agree.
Overall rating it. Are we doing the PFF grade? Is that what we're doing here? We always do.
All right. PFF grade.
Okay. Amount of Christmas.
I mean, minimal Christmas. I mean, it's a lot of Christmas, but minimal actual Christmas theme.
I'm going to go four. I'll say four because there's Christmas stuff all over the place.
That's so much more generous than what I thought you were going to give it. Yeah.
I'm not going to listen. I'm realistic.
I'm giving an honest review that is not swayed by any ulterior motive. This is an honest...
That's what you can expect from Jason Kelsey.

That's what you're kidding.

Put a stamp, put a guarantee on the box.

What are you giving it, Kai?

For the amount of Christmas?

Yeah.

Six.

Anywhere from four to six.

I won't aggressively...

I understand that these storylines

could have been constructed outside of the holiday season.

Yeah. I mean, it's...
I can acknowledge that. It's a four to six.
And that's why I'm giving it a three. This had nothing.
Both of you are just being generous. That's not the one I'm going to be generous on acting.
I thought the acting was pretty good. I mean, it's for what it is.
It's a rom-com. Honestly, the acting, I, that's what I'm saying.
I enjoyed the storylines and the, and it was fun. It was a very good cast.
When you bring good kid acting in. Also, the prime minister calling out the United States, if that isn't the biggest form of fucking political grandstanding that I have ever seen, fuck that guy.
He didn't say shit to Billy Bob's face and then went up on the podium like i ain't doing shit if i'm the u.s i'm sticking it right up the prime minister of britain's ass like we were on the fucking show not you dickhead we just had a whole fucking conversation in your office you're bringing this up one time and they're gonna go out there and say that shit in the fucking media so anyways just had to get that off my chest he did he flanked Hugh Grant flanked

the prime minister flanked we're not going to talk about any of this

in the office I'm going to act like I'm your best buddy

and then go out there and say like we're done

being taken advantage of well now

Britain's fucked because the US is not on your side

so guess what good luck

he wasn't talking

he was talking about

the woman no he was not

he was still mad at the woman because he was about

to fire her no he was

not

I'm not. Oh, my God.
He was still mad at the woman because he was about to fire her. No, he was not.
That's all he was in his head. He fired her right afterwards, guys.
I don't know what you guys have talked yourself into. He fired her.
And then it took later in the movie. He moved her from his personal office to alleviate temptation.
No, he liked the temptation. He was in on it.

That's why at the end he came back around.

He was like, oh my gosh, I've made a terrible mistake. That woman was being taken advantage of.

Now I need her back.

He knew immediately what the president was doing.

I don't think he was in.

Acting, I'm giving you a solid nine.

I love the acting. I mean, I can't give nine just for because of like the type of movie it is you're ridiculous but nothing then you then you downscore the plot you don't fuck with the acting i would agree with travis nine but i just think that there's the acting wasn't like overly difficult that's why i guess what i'm getting at like you're so i'm just being honest like it's not it's like the rom-com type model

isn't like overly difficult. That's why I guess what I'm getting at.
You're so fucked. I'm just being honest.
Like the rom-com type model isn't like this. What? This isn't like Shawshank level type.
This isn't, what's the fucking one where Leonardo's out in the fucking wilderness for two hours with the grizzly bears, some whatever. What the fuck's that movie? Reverend, like Revenant.
This isn't that type of film. So, like, this would be like if the Chiefs played, like, a high school team.
How'd the Chiefs play? Well, they beat them by 1,000 points, but it's hard to tell if they're very, like, you know what I mean? Like, I don't know what to tell you. You're fucking ridiculous.
Give it a score. All right, seven.
It's good acting, but, like, I can't. Directing.
I thought the directing was up there. I thought to be able to put all these.
I can't take Jason serious right now. I thought the directing was cool.
A lot of the shots were fun, the symmetrical. I thought the shots on the, especially on the water, when all the papers and everything flew around, I thought that was sweet.
I thought the running, the slow-mo running through the airport fired me up for some reason. I found it to be- I'll give it a solid, directing a solid eight.
Solid eight. I'm going to say nine.
I love this movie. I'll say, like, just very predictable.
Like, I think it's hard. That's plot.
Yeah, but it's plot. Talking directing.
But also, like, the way the scenes are shot and, like, the choices that are made. Like, it just felt very.
The wedding scene where everybody pops up with their own instrument that's first of all that again that's plot i'm just saying the way everything was shot was just very there was nothing creative to it so like i feel like anybody who went to film school could have directed this movie in the exact same way this guy did so i'll go five you're such a grinch man that Plot. What do we got plot? Can I go negative? No, you can't go negative.
It's a one to 10. One to 10? Yeah.
So I can't go zero? No. One.
Fucked up. It's horrendous.
The reality of it, Jason, is that there probably is a lot of this going on. So as much as you want to act like this is not a good plot, this is something that could actually be going on.
I'm going eight. I think that it was a lovely collection.
And again, the only reason I'm downscoring from higher is because I think that it didn't necessarily have to be a holiday movie. Okay, I'll say this.
If it is actually going on, it was directed and filmed in a way that was completely inappropriate. It was filmed in this uplifting, like, oh, look, she's out with the cue cards guy, the best friend, trying to fuck his best friend's wife.
And, like, all of it was done in this, like, happy, like, there should have been much more dark tones and filmed in a way that expounded on these people being pieces of shit. That's fine.
But the fact that all of it was celebrated is ridiculous. So like maybe the plot isn't horrendous.
Maybe I would like the plot if the director and the way it was shot accurately portrayed all these people as monsters. I did feel like they were portraying everybody as everybody's good people.

Yeah.

That being said, I'll give it a solid seven.

I enjoyed the bouncing around.

I thought the plot of the movie, how they were tying in all the stories,

even though I wasn't agreeing with what everybody was doing,

I thought it was very interesting.

Character relatability. This is where it's tough.
Can't relate to a lot of these situations. Everybody can relate to Sam.
You got your first crush. You know, how do I, you know, do I, do I, do I have the courage to go up and ask the girl that I'm into out and sing to her?

Couldn't really relate to anybody.

I'm going to give it a nice solid three.

Yeah.

Outside of them all being European.

I just feel bad giving it any low score, but I don't know that there's a single plot where I'm like, I feel that.

I'm going to go four, five, four.

I don't know how you don't love this adorable dog behind you.

She looks dead.

You see her.

Where are you going, Jason?

Sam's relatable.

It's the only one and the dad.

I think most dads are going to be put in that situation where they're trying to navigate their son's first love interest and Sam having to do that and nailing it. So I'm going to go, I'll go three as well.
Nice. Because that was a very relatable scene.
Nice. All the other ones, just no.
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That's 20% off your first order with new code NEWHEIGHTS at liquidiv.com. All righty, back to the top of the two-minute drill here.
We just got done with Love Actually giving it a solid kind of buns movie review. But we are into one of the greatest Christmas movies of all time.
And this is America speaking because this movie, Christmas Vacation, is based off of the good-hearted middle-class american family yes and it's just it's so it's such a magical fucking hilarious it hits on every single aspect of like the families and all the characters and like kind of portrays what i imagine is a lot of a lot of like people's christmas uh i don don't know Christmas experiences year in year out especially when you get the entire family like both sides of the family together in one house I love it this is a movie that I didn't love as much when I was a kid yeah because I think it was hard to relate to all of it but the older you get the funnier it gets the relatable it gets, especially once you start having kids of your own.

Once you're married, I feel like even without my kids, I'm I'm looking at it like, man, I can appreciate it for just the dynamic.

Like the father always trying to just go above and beyond for the Christmas magic.

For sure.

Whether it's the tree or the lights.

And he's always he says it in the beginning.

He's like, I always just wanted a big Christmas, like family environment in my life. Having all the, both sides of the family, his, his wife's and his, all the parents knowing that, you know, not everybody always sees eye to eye, but they, they always wanted this.
Yeah. We're also going to mention her that Kylie hasn't seen it.
So Kylie. Well, she has seen it.
She did not watch it before this episode though. No, I'm of no use to you.
So I've only seen bits and pieces and what pieces have you seen? Can you see the dog right now? Yeah. She's stealing toilet paper.
She stole the toilet paper out of the bathroom. Oh, there you bathroom.
Look at her. She's about to tear it to pieces.
Arts and crafts. It's doggy arts and crafts.
I don't even know that I can pull scenes out of my pocket here. Okay.
When I tell you I am useless to this. Do you know who the main character is? Clark Griswold.
Do you know who plays him no okay kylie's out of this all right chevy chase absolutely kills it there you go that's it chevy's the man yeah i think what's what's special about this movie is exactly what you're saying travis that clark is trying to give his family the ideal like storybook christmas that hallmark and every movie and every story has ever laid out yeah but the beauty behind this is like this is how actually christmas is it's a giant chore it's incredibly hard to pull off but you all for some reason all of us revel in the misery of trying to make it happen because you're trying to make it special for your kids and your family and i think everybody can identify with clark's to do that, but in trying to do so every single year. So I think it's fantastic.
I love right from the opening scene of going out and cutting the Christmas tree down. And the kids are like, why the hell are we out here doing this? This makes no sense, dad.
And he's like, it's because of it's a Christmas tradition. This is what we're gonna go get our treats this is what it's the ultimate like dad line yes of american dads this is what our forefathers did they went out just like god damn this is gonna be more spot on no doubt all the 90s dads talk and then it's just you know right down the like go like right down the barrel from you know he's expecting the bonus from his job and like how big of a point he's gone all in on christmas like he's leveraged everything that this is going to happen and it comes to full um you know it comes to a head immediately he finds out that he isn't getting the bonus that he thinks he's getting but kudos to the boss for coming and getting his senses when he's kidnapped by cousin Eddie,

but cousin Eddie and we all have a cousin Eddie.

I had a revelation while I was watching this movie.

I've always thought I was Clark Griswold.

Am I cousin Eddie?

No.

Like when I come to your house,

am I viewed as the cousin Eddie?

No,

you're viewed as Clark Griswold.

I didn't know a hundred percent Clark.

I just thought all of those scenes are so relatable, and that's what makes the movie so special. And they did such a good job of just making it funny, poking fun at the ridiculousness of it, poking fun at the neighbors who are too cool to have Christmas be a part.
I just think it's really, really well done across the board by National Lampoon and Chevy Chase and everyone involved. So should we get into the PFF rating of this movie? Or do you want to talk about more stories? I want to ask you- What's your favorite scene? Yeah.
Favorite scene? I probably should have thought of this before. There's so many good ones.
I mean, right off the bat, the kiss my ass scene with the boss and all of his little minions. I thought that was fucking gold.
Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass.
Kiss his ass. Happy Hanukkah.
Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah.
So good. Yeah.
I like the sledding scene. That one's an iconic one when he goes through all the freaking different material.
He's got the new lubricant. I really like the cat scene.
Don't put that on my sled.

You know, the metal plate I got in my head.

Cousin Eddie's lines are so much better.

Every time he turns the microwave on, I piss myself.

I piss myself.

And now the only thing standing between my brain and there is a a two inch wide piece of government plastic so good it's so good oh my gosh that's fucking gold i never understood the attic scene i thought he was stuck up there and i forgot that he goes through the ceiling he could have just left but he stays up there he stays up. He gets caught up in just enjoying all the shit that's up there.

That's, yeah.

Going down memory lane, which we all get caught up in.

For sure.

I love the lights, the light scene.

Oh my gosh.

When he finally gets it clicked on and the whole town goes out, then they got to turn

the nuclear power on.

Shit is full, man.

Once he says, he worked hard on those lights, Grandma, so does

the washing machine. Or so he worked hard,

Grandma, so does the washing machine.

That's a good one. Alright, let's get to the PFF,

Greg, so before we gotta get out of here.

Kylie's, we're fast

approaching our 45-minute window. Let's do it.

Amount of Christmas, 10.

10. Could not have

more. The entire thing's about Christmas.
Could not have more Christmas.

Yeah. Acting.
For what it is, like a comedy, they nailed it. Yeah.
I mean, it's, again, not the most challenging, but. I was about to say, if you're going to go, if you're going to give.
This was more challenging. Like, the comedic timing here is way more challenging than what they did in Love Actually.
And I'm assuming there was an amount of off-the-cuff comments made, like most of these comedies. I'm going eight.
I'm going eight. Yeah, there's no off-the-cuff in Love Actually.
Directing. I didn't give my acting.
I'll give them those two just, I mean, a seven. They were both tens, but if we're going the entire movie.
The entire cast. Yeah.
All right. that's fair i love the boss did a good job forget that guy's that actor but yeah directing i mean 10 it nailed it like it's it's freaking hilarious and it's not overstated it's not over like it's not like here's what i mean and this is why i like old comed.
So many comedies that are made now it's like they overdo it with a lot of it and it feels like. Let there be some question like there's like in the first scene like they forget the saw but they still get out of there with the tree because they ripped it out of the ground.
How do they rip it out of the ground? Who gives a shit? It's funny. Yeah don't we don't need to overdo it.
We don't need to over like we don't need to make it so realistic that oh yeah no clark chevy chase isn't ripping a tree out of the comedy is very dry it's not like at any moment it feels like if you didn't weren't listening to the words it doesn't feel like a comedy like it's not like this slap sticky thing too much actually that's that's a lot anyway i think the comedy is very dry throughout and I just like that type of comedy as opposed to things that happen now where it's like more of the top. I'll give it a solid eight on the directing.
I thought it was good. Plot.
Ten. Stop, Jason.
Eleven. In terms of Christmas movie plot, this thing hits all of it.
It was all like when he's turning on the lights and they're doing the drum roll, we all knew it was not going to go up. Yeah, but you didn't know why it wasn't going up.
Is it because the light bulbs are on? You did not know that there was going to be the light switch in the garage and that there was going to be a back and forth where she was going to turn it on. Then he's having trouble.
He thinks he's got it fixed. Then all of a sudden, it's going out and he's trying.
I just had it out. No, none of that stuff was predictable.
That's why it was funny. Things that are predictable aren't funny.
This movie is very funny. The light part wasn't funny.
It was just the needed part in the movie. You didn't think it was funny when he stapled his sleeve to the gutter and he ripped his sleeve off and then the ladder fell back into the tree then he went forward again then he's hanging from the gutter and a piece of ice shot out and hit his neighbor neighbor's window no it's good for tv but i didn't laugh if that's what you're asking me just give it a rating plot i'll

give it a seven it's ridiculous i like the way travis just crushed you the way you crushed me on

i mean what i just said was actually 100 i mean it made a ton of sense this makes no sense

character he said it was predictable it's like not predict that's why it's funny character

relatability 10 character relatability is up there i'll give it a good nine what's the pff grade

See you next week. not predict.
That's why it's funny. Character relatability.
10. Character relatability is up there.
I'll give it a good nine.

What's the PFF grade? It's going to be pretty high. It's going to be pretty high for a Christmas movie.
Probably right around the eights. High eight.

Yeah. It's going to have to be eight points.
No, it might be nine.

It's going to be eight points something, right? It shouldn't be this hard

to do the math. I don't know what's taken Brandon so long to type this up.
8.9. Wow.
I mean, yeah, I think that's a solid score for how I enjoyed the movie. I thought it was 8.9 for sure.
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You can listen to Don't Cross Cat on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, that's it for movie reviews.
We're going to get to our next segment, which is Christmas movie games. That's right.
We're going to do – Kylie's informing me this is a TikTok trend. I'm not on TikTok, so I'm new to this trend.
It's a blind ranking. This is a big thing in the world of TikTok.
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It's gotten me to 14 and 1 this season. All right, we're going to blind rank 10 of the most popular Christmas movies of all time.
Can't wait to see what they chose for this. You will see one movie at a time.
Place it on the list before seeing the next one. This is going to be hard because we don't know what the 10 movies are going to be.
That's the whole point of it. That's why it's blind ranking.
He gets it now. There's literally filters on TikTok that do this.
What's a filter? Is that like a... It's like a Snapchat thing.
But it turns everything orange? No. It shows a blank one through 10, and then it puts one thing on the screen, and you have to select which number you'd like to put it at and then you find out what the next one is got it okay there's multiple versions

of filters what you just mentioned thanksgiving yeah that is but there's like thanksgiving food ranking how are we doing this are we doing this brandon's gonna tell us gonna pop it up Should I get a pen and pencil?

No.

Okay.

Dude, Jason.

It's so funny.

First movie, The Santa Claus. Santa Claus.
That's a good movie. That's a good movie.
I can think of a lot of movies better, but I do like Santa Claus. Who's going first? Travis, you go first on this one, then we'll rotate? Somewhere in the middle of the pack.
Five or six. I was thinking four.
I would do five. If you guys want to go five where were you going i was going higher than that you're a big fan we'll go four i just think it's a great movie it's a really good movie if you want to go four i'll go four santa claus i'll go four i just i can think of a few movies better including chris's vacation second movie jingle all the way jingle all the way that's not better than the santa claus no it's not i mean it's a guilty pleasure for me just because it has schwarzenegger but objectively not that than the Santa Claus.
No, it is not. I mean, it's a guilty pleasure for me

just because it has Schwarzenegger,

but objectively not that good of a movie.

Yeah, I'm going to say low.

I can think of worse, like Love Actually.

It's got to be eight or nine.

So it can't go too low.

I would say eight or nine.

I'll go eight.

I think eight's a good solid jingle all the way score.

I hope they didn't put a bunch of bad movies in here now.

A Christmas Story.

Wyatt clearly doesn't agree with that. A Christmas Story.
I think you got to go one. I don't know if there's any movie that symbolizes Christmas more to me than Christmas Story, personally.
I love it. I really do love it, but I just enjoy other Christmas movies so much more.
Is it above or below Santa Claus is the question? I think definitely above. Then it needs to be three.
Because quite honestly, it wouldn't even be in my top five. Christmas story? No.
It hits home for us Clevelanders. I think three is fine.
Three is fine. Kind of with Kai.
I think it should be on the other side of it. I think it should be two.
I think it should be two. I don't think it should be two.
You already... No, Brandon, keep typing.
He already got vetoed. No.
Yeah, thank you. He got vetoed.
Movie number four, Elf. Elf is a very good movie.
Man, it's good. It's definitely better than Santa Claus, so I'm upset that Santa Claus is at four because I can't put it above A Christmas Story.
Yes, we can. I think Elf is two.
I'll put it at five. I'll compromise on five.
Jason, we're not compromising. You think there's two other Christmas movies better than Elf? I can think of like five, if I'm being honest.
There's no way. A Wonderful Life.
I can think of Christmas Vacation. I just want to declare that this does not accurately represent how I would have blind ranked any of this shit.
The Grinch? Guys, this rating is so fucked up. We fucked up with Santa Claus.
No, the Grinch is be number one and Alf is going to be number two Santa Claus shouldn't be four it should be lower and I said five or six on Santa Claus listen I think I think Alf has got to be up there is the most iconic Christmas movie of all time they play it for 24 hours. Wait.
For all the geezers that still watch TBS. Is Miracle on 34th Street going to be in this? Shit.
That one's way down there. That movie sucked.
Elf. I'm standing.
The OG. Talk about playing every single year.
It's not the OG. Come on.
It's not the OG. No, no, no.
I mean the OG version of that movie, not the remake. All right, put it at five.
Put it at five.

I'm fine.

We'll put it at five.

We'll get...

We'll put it at five.

It's up there.

It's top five.

Perfect.

Elf is top five Christmas all time.

Wow.

The Muppets Christmas Carol.

Oh.

Six.

I love you some Muppets.

Okay, five.

No way.

Put that at nine.

If not...

No, no, no, no.

You're way off.

You are way off.

No way.

You guys...

I'm not letting you do this.

I'm not letting you do this. A Muppppet christmas carol is fucking fantastic this is ridiculous i will you're saying this movie is worse than jingle all the way you're out of your mind you are out of your mind i didn't think jingle all the way should have been that high either i i was also i was giving schwarzen guys we still have love actually coming up we have to leave space down there for love actually.
Nine it is then. You motherfucker.
Nine it is. Because there's still two more that we probably should have put above Santa Claus.
I can't wait to see what comes next. Brandon hit it.
Nightmare Before Christmas. Oh.
God damn it. 10.
I'm with seven. This is not.
No. This is not a Christmas movie.
This is a Halloween movie. This is the way that Love Actually should have been filmed.
If it was filmed like this, it might have been good. The cartoon porn scene? The anti-Christmas movie is the way it should have been filmed.
I would love to see some play titties, okay? It needed to be darker. They were trying to shine light on them too much.
You guys are out of your mind if you think The Nightmare Before Christmas is not a good movie.

This is an absolute.

I can't put a 10.

There's going to be something worse than this.

I'm saying seven.

You're right.

There is going to be something worse than it.

I can honestly say I've never even watched that movie.

This is, yeah, we fucked up.

The Nightmare Before Christmas.

So how are you at all inclined to rate it anything

if you've never seen it?

It's a fucking skeleton, Jason.

Don't judge a book by its cover, Kai.

Oh, God. Yeah, you didn't like The Addams Family? This is the next one.
It's A Wonderful Life. Oh, here he goes.
One or two. Here he goes.
This is not one or two. This is six.
No chance. This is a clusterfuck.
Dude, there's no way this is one of the best. This is an absolute dumpster fire.
If you don't think this movie is wonderful.

Dumpster fire.

It's got the word wonderful in its life.

If you put A Wonderful Life below fucking Elf and Santa Claus,

this list is fucking ridiculous.

It's not better than Elf.

It's not as funny as Elf, but it's more impactful

and has more sentimental value.

I'm clearly in the minority.

If you haven't noticed, I've given up.

I'm clearly in the minority.

Have you ever seen this movie too? No. I forced myself to watch this terrible movie.
Step your Christmas movie up. I think it should be one or two, but if Travis wanted it six.
I don't know what other Christmas movies we're saving for one and two. That's a problem.
We're going to get something like Love Actually. We're going to have to put it all of a sudden.
If you put it at two, then you have a very clean, like, next couple. We can't do six because then it's either the best thing or the worst thing.
Nice, Kai. Way to make it make sense.
Put it at two. I just don't know what you're going to put above A Christmas Story and Wonderful Life in the grand scheme.
The Grinch. I love that we're all on the same page about this.
The Grinch is great. The Grinch is objectively fair.
Which Grinch are we going, though? It's going to be the OG Grinch. I got bad news.
The Grinch isn't on here. Jesus Christ.
Grinch isn't on the list. The Grinch isn't on here.
I have horrible news. This is so funny.
Number eight, love, actually. Ten.
I don't know. I think this is like the middle of the pack.
No chance. This movie is way worse.
It's not as Christmas vacation.

It's my favorite Christmas movie outside of a wonderful life and Christmas story.

That's my top three,

but it's neither.

Oh no,

Travis,

I've given up.

Which one are you going to put it?

So you put it six.

Then no matter what,

then no matter what freaking movie that comes up is going number one.

Yeah. This is the point of the game.
Jason. I'm going six.
Kylie, what are you going? One or six? Six. I haven't seen this in forever.
Don't call me on this. You didn't even know that the lead actor's name is Chevy Chase.
Why would I know that, Jason? I don't know. It's just almost like, okay, I'm happy with this list.
This is good. Nice.
Home Alone is great. Objectively, Home Alone is fantastic.
I mean, Joe Pesci, freaking. I thought this was going to be a really bad list, but it's actually not a bad list.
I think it's pretty accurate, other than Christmas Vacations to be above Elf and Santa Claus. A Christmas, the 10 of the most popular Christmas movies, and you didn't include The Grinchinch is a travesty.
I don't know. Since when is The Wonderful Life about Christmas? Great question, Travis.
What the fuck are we talking about? I think A Wonderful Life is about... Show me the timer, Brandon.
Can I see the timer, please? I remember watching. I'm like, when is Christmas going to even fucking play its part in this movie? So A Wonderful Life is about a community and the concept of things being bigger than yourself and the concept of giving, obviously, and the bank that, I forget the main guy's name.
George? George. The concept of the bank giving to the community.
I mean, I guess if you don't like banks, you probably don't like A Wonderful Life. But the mom and pop banks, not the conglomerate 2008 banks.
If I were to change this list, Wonderful Life would go down to six and Christmas Vacation would go up. That's the only thing I would change.
Our blind rankings from one 10. We're home alone at one wonderful life at two, which I don't know.
Number three was a Christmas story for Santa Claus, five elf, six Christmas vacation, seven nightmare on Christmas, eight jingle all the way, nine Muppets and 10 love. Actually 92 percenters.
Tell us how we did. We need to know know is this an acceptable list is it not acceptable and is jason thinking way too highly of a wonderful life that's a great movie line ranking was brought to you by our friends at accelerator upgrade your energy today with accelerator active energy let's move on to the little no dumb questions i wasn't there's other movies i enjoy watching i wasn't needed here for any of this, so can I get up before Dumb Questions? No, no, you're

staying, Kylie. Yeah, I think we need you just

for this one, actually. I have to go care for children.

We have to keep our ratings up, and we have

to have the best podcaster in the world in order to do

that. You're such a dick.

Do not go anywhere.

No Dumb Questions, Christmas edition.

All right, now let's close this thing out with a little

No Dumb Questions, because there's no such thing as dumb questions. Just two dumb guys asking Jason's wife to come join us answering some not so dumb questions.
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Let's see what we've got on the hotline. Next caller.
Hi, guys. I would like to know, when is it, if ever, okay to tell your partner that they are a bad gift giver? Thank you.
Go Birds. Well, it's a good question.
And go Birds. Love that.
I will say this. I will say this.
Don't fuck around with this because it sounds like it's an issue. If you got a bad gift giver, you got to say something and nip it in the bud.
Because I'll tell you this. Mom, Donna Kelsey had to deal with Christmas upon Christmas of the exact same gifts.
Earrings and candles. And you don't have to be like a jerk about it.
Just be like, hey, I think like. I got enough earrings.
Yeah. Or just whatever you don't like about the gifts.
Don't say you don't like them. Just say, hey, I just like sometimes I think I would appreciate something more sentimental.
Something I like. I really like jewelry.
Just say what you like. You don't have to say what you don't like.
You can plant seeds as to what you want if they're listening. Now you're getting warmer.
Right? Plant seeds. And also, if they give a gift to somebody else and it's asked, let them know we got to work on your gift given.
And that way, they'll take the note that they need to get better to give you gifts. Why would you give this gift? It's completely meaningless.
It makes no sense. You understand how to give a gift? Right.
Oh. Kai, you have something you want to chime in?

I think you should be gentle about it, but I think you can let someone know ahead of time. Like you're saying, plant a seed.
But you don't need to plant a seed that they're a bad gift giver. You can just plant a seed on something that you would like.
You can do one or two things so that they have two different things to choose from would be a good option. and just plant that seed early and say, I've been looking at this sweater.
It's a beautiful sweater. I'm just not sure that I want to spend that much money on it.
Or I'm not sure that I'll get there. Speaking for men everywhere, be very clear if you want this gift because we miss some of these more subtle hints i'm just being honest also also also what's considered a good gift and a bad gift if you're a shitty gift receiver you need to check yourself in the fucking mirror that's good if you're out here hoping you're getting a fucking brand new car and it's like you know what i mean all you're getting sweaters what are we fucking doing here right all right we need to we need to reevaluate the situation at hand expectations yes so it goes both ways how am i as a gift giver guys trab you want to take this one nobody has to rush oh i did like my i did like my birthday gift i think that was a kylie move one? Which one was it? You want me to tell everybody? The box.
Big box. The box? Yeah.
The box we took to Kansas City. He doesn't actually know what that was, Travis.
I knew that wasn't him. Sorry.
What has Jason gotten me? The 99 jersey. He was very excited about that one.
Ooh, I mean, that was a fucking banger. I got it right here.
The problem is Jason and I are, I feel we align on gift giving in a way where when a holiday or a birthday or something comes around, we kind of do like an oh shit. Oh, yeah, yeah.
But outside of holidays and times where you're actually supposed to give gifts, there have been times where we've like, oh, I really thought this would be great. And then I don't love getting gifts.
And so I never help him in any way. And he buys everything that he wants just when he thinks of it.
I deal with that as well. I think I'm a good gift giver.
I think I'm a bad gift planner. That's where I'm, I'm a bad gift planner.
Yeah. I'd say we like, well, he's not saying I'm a good gift giver.
So I'm not confident saying I am a good gift giver, but I would say the gift planning is the downfall for both of us. Yeah.
I mean, I'm right there in the same boat. We're all in the same boat on this one.
Got to the transform, the transformer robot last year. Yeah.
But Jason, you always do it the day before. I got you the Transformer gift last year on Christmas.
He either gets it months ahead of time or the day before. Yeah.
I mean. Isn't that pretty standard? Whoever floats your boat finds the lost remote.
You know what I mean? Outkast taught me that one. Wait till you see what I got you guys this year.
We're going to revisit this in a couple of days. We're going to revisit this conversation and who the best gift giver is in in a couple days.
It's not going to be me. Because I know who's winning that one.
I was too busy playing S-A-N-T-A if you catch my drift. You just wait, Jason.
You just wait. I don't think I've ever been this confident.
For me too? Huh? For me? I'm giving away zero details. I know I'm very confident in travis less confident kylie that means he hasn't gone to the mall yet very confident over there i also i also blame uh our gift creativity um on dad he made us get mom the exact same gift so i'm doing really i just think i can just go out and just get the same gift.
I've really had to work on this.

But I just want to let you guys know.

I'm not going to blame Dad.

I just want to let you guys know.

He's actually a very good gift giver.

We are going to revisit this in five days.

We're going to revisit this in five days.

You know what?

You talk about planting a seed.

Talk about planting a seed.

I am perfectly happy with a candle and some earrings.

I want to throw that out there.

On it.

Do you guys know what that is?

That's a trap, brother. That is a trap.
All right. We are good to go.
Thank you for the call in there. Go birds.
Let's reevaluate the situation. You got to be a good receiver and a good gift giver.
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That wraps up another episode of New Heights. You can check out New Heights and subscribe to the New Heights channel on YouTube and follow New Heights on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Reminder, you can listen to new episodes of New Heights early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Once again, New Heights is a Wondery show produced by Wave Sports and Entertainment and brought to you by our friends at Monopoly Go.
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And thank you again to the 92 percenters. Kylie Kelsey.
Thank you. Anytime.
Trav. I lied.
Coming in hot and blessing this. I take it back.
This podcast is the number one. Everyone go check out Not Gonna Lie on YouTube or wherever you get your podcast.
We'll see you guys later. Peace.
Is it weird that. Oh, God.
I feel like I'm playing Monopoly in real life now. Is that like...
No, that's exactly what the game is for, Jason. Happy holidays, everyone.
Happy holidays. Feliz Navidad.
He's man-spreading into my area. I can't actually get my chair forward.
i don't really have anywhere to go you should hear our daughters talk about his boobs seriously i mean look at them they're built they're built oh my gosh you may not don't keep that in do not keep that in follow new heights on theondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to New Heights early and ad-free.
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