Travis’ Wild Lateral, Jason’s KC Tailgate and the Next Head Coach of The Jets | Ep 104

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Start listening today when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.com slash new heights. As we all know, Travis came up big because he had someone special in the stadium, someone that means a lot to him, and he really tries to always perform well when they're there.
And that is me.

Welcome back to New Heights, ladies and gentlemen.

Produced by Wave Sports and Entertainment and a Wondery show.

Make sure you guys check out Wondery Plus.

We are your hosts.

I'm Travis Kelsey and my big brother Jason Kelsey out of Cleveland Heights, Ohio.

Cincinnati Bearcat alums. Subscribe on YouTube wherever you get your podcasts, Wondry Plus.
And follow the show on all social media, at New Heights Show with one S. As you can see, this is a very special episode.
Me and Jason are never, like, I never see him in his flesh. It's Travis's birthday episode, too.
This is not. My birthday has already passed.
It's two days ago.

Don't bring my birthday up.

It's a part of this episode.

It has nothing to do with this episode.

You turned 35.

What?

You turned 35.

That's a big birthday.

Everybody knows every time there's a five or a zero at the end,

it's a milestone birthday.

Nobody's ever said that.

What does it feel like to be 35 and still wear a Perkis power shirt it feels feels like I'm the fattest

congratulations Mr. Kelsey you are now the fattest tight end in the NFL yes get on the field get off the field yeah i was killing it um yeah we're uh we're together in kansas city how about that that's right and uh yeah jason's uh you look good bud you look good love that shirt just talking about the all white was a bad choice what all white was a bad choice nah dude those you look great.
Nice. Jason, why don't you actually tell people what we're going to talk about in the episode? Sure.
Well, we got an outstanding episode lined up for you guys. We're going to talk about Trav's big win with the Chiefs over the Saints.
Hey, who? As well as me getting out of the house and where we are currently being at Kansas City. Kansas City, little car jam a little tailgating.
We got a bunch of good stuff as well as obviously getting to everything else that happened in week five in the NFL. But first, as always.
As always. New news.
New news. Hey.
Coming in hot. A little new news brought to you by MetaQuest.
That's right. Expand your world.
Mama Kels is woman of the year or one of the women of the year. Nice.
The first item of new news, our mom was named one of Glamour Magazine's 2024 Women of the Year. Also on the cover, Beyonce's mom, Selena Gomez's mother, and Billie Eilish's mom.
She's in good company. Yeah, it's impressive.
It's impressive that Mama Kelsey's made it to the top. I mean, those are top-tier moms right there.
She described what it was like being our mom, in quotes. Being a mom is probably the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.
It's so much easier to just go to work. But raising children when they're totally dependent on you and you're trying to do the best you can with the limited resources you have, it's the most daunting task I've ever had to do.
And mom, you made it look easy. I'm not going to lie.
You made it look easy. If it was that hard for you, I'm sorry if we made it harder on you because I'm sure Jason did.
I know I didn't. I made it easy.
I thought growing up was pretty easy. Show up, lunch is packed, breakfast is made.
Yeah. Free rides everywhere is the best.
Yeah. What does mom know? Hand me down caravans.
Are you kidding me? It doesn't get any better than that. Happy as hell for you, mama.
Glamour Magazine, this is cool. This is cool, Inge.
You look absolutely amazing, mom. This is so good.
Shout out to all the other mothers that are Women of the Year. We also got an update on our film club poll.
We wanted to give you guys the results of the online poll that was very much rigged from the beginning by our friends Jits Jake the winner by a huge margin of course is Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants whatever don't say it right Jason Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants we will now this movie, and you guys will get a review if you pay for the added

Wondering Plus feature, which also includes no ads and a bunch of other benefits.

You will also hear the agonizing review of a movie about pants.

Dude, you are going to love this movie.

Two of my least favorite things. Why do you hate Sisterhood so much? I mean, I got a bunch of daughters.
I guess I'm warming up to Sisterhood. There you go.
There you go. Way to bring it full circle.
All I know is this whole thing, Jake threw a bunch of other movies that he knew would take votes from each other so that the Swifties could just freaking dominate the poll with such other traffic. Like Spaceballs, Goonies, and Necessary Roughness all took each other's votes.
I hope you're happy, Jake. I'm excited to watch.
I think we planned on watching this together. You're honestly excited to watch this movie? Yeah.
What in the title makes you excited to watch this movie?ason i don't i don't let the title dictate what gets me excited i just i i read books all the time by their title and if it's a bad title i don't read the book well take it from a guy that doesn't read books don't read into the title don't read just don't read the books yeah i don't even read the title do you know anything about this movie what is this movie about i don't know it has blake lively in it and she's i know i listen i love blake yeah i like watching films with people that i've met and i know oh i watched uh i watched uh hugh grant and um oh what's uh julia roberts um nottingham hill what is it notting hill i watched that one i enjoyed it did you yeah what's it about it's about ah see this is why i'm not a good movie it's about it's about two people that fall in love no wait hold on yeah i could have told you that It's about two people that fall in love um julia roberts is a uh is a celebrity and what do you call it uh hugh grant does not know this it's about two popular famous people that fall in love sounds great no one popular one unpopular who's the unpopular one hugh yeah i don't know that's realistic i know right that's a good looking man. Guys.
You can't don't know. That's realistic.
I know, right? That's a good-looking man.

Guys. You can't be that good-looking and unpopular.

That's where Hollywood gets it wrong.

This movie is not even realistic.

Thank you for bringing

it to my... If you guys

are into chick flicks, go watch that one. That was a classic.

But yeah, Wondery

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Every big moment starts with a big dream. But what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop? From Wondery and Atwill Media, I'm Misha Brown, and this is The Big Flop.
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Let's move on to some fan mentions of the week. Yeah.
Let's shout out the fan mentions. Jason, go ahead and jump us off.
Sure. Yeah.
Travis got a major compliment from the Fonz, aka Coach Klein from the Waterboy. Mythical.
Or as you might know him, the legendary actor, Henry Winkler on X Twitter, whatever you prefer to call it these days. He quote tweeted a tweet from Kansas City, Kansas City Chiefs, no better day to pull out some of Travis Kelsey's greatest hits.
And Mr. Winkler said, and Mr.
K is doing an amazing job as an actor on Grotesquerie on Fox. Did Fox pay him for this? Yeah, no.
Henry's son, Max Winkler, is actually a director on the show. Oh.
Yeah, so he's a big fan of the show. Big fan of the Chiefs as well.
Shout out to the Fonz. Yeah.
You know we love you over there in Chiefs Kingdom. And it's pretty cool, man.
I remember watching Happy Days growing up. And it's you know one of those life comes full circle moments can you give us any so we're four episodes in yes how many episodes and you watched all four i've watched all i can't believe you're actually so you like horror and like listen thrillers and if you put grotesquerie or sister of the traveling pants up i'm watching fucking grotesquerie what uh four it was how many episodes is there uh it's a great question cool brandon figure that out what kind of turns are we in store for um how many shoes are gonna drop i'm not gonna give away anything we'll just say how many shoes are gonna drop there's something happening yeah there's about to be even more happening.
There is so much. Just when you think like, all right, everything's going to start to unfold, you're in, just buckle up.
Yeah. Buckle up.
Yeah. I feel like I already got it figured out.
Yeah, I know you do. We talked about this earlier.
You don't have it figured out. I can't tell if you are just a complete made-up figment of Nisi's or Lois's imagination.
Okay. If you're a demon or an angel, I'll accept both of those because they're dichotomies.
Or if you're the killer. I'm pretty sure you're not the killer, unless you're possessing people.
I saw you on the second. You said you didn't premiere until the third episode.
I saw you in the second episode. What? Oh, you know.
Somebody did a great job of grabbing the screenshot. And I know that fucking tall, shadowy figure, like the back of my head.
No? No? I don't know if you know that one. I don't know.
You turned the turntable off. I've seen it.
Just walking, creeping yeah yeah lurching i wish i was that sneaky well i can tell you one person you're not a better actor than and that is niecy nash she is killing it absolutely it has been awesome to watch and i can't wait to see the new episodes is it two every week it was two the first two you gotta gotta stop asking me all right cool max max winkler please uh respond to this you gotta stop asking me this stuff i'm uh i'm honestly though i'm along the ride with uh with everyone else yeah i'm enjoying watching everything unfold because i really i i was so in and out of uh la at the like over the off season filming this that i I didn't see any other like scenes or anything like that. So it's fun to, I don't know, kind of get caught up on a lot of the storyline or just not necessarily storyline, but just everybody's performance, how they're like, how they're portraying people.
And I think it's just cool. It's cool to be a part of it.
And I still see like product. Yes.
Because you see all the takes when you're doing it and like all this stuff and then all of a sudden it's like, oh, that's what they were going for. Yes.
They cut out all the other stuff. Nice.
Less than me. Cool.
Got it. Perfect.
Oh, they didn't like that. Yeah, yeah.
I didn't like that. I knew when I got, there were like a few takes where I was like, yeah, they didn't like that.
And those takes definitely didn't make that yeah yeah i didn't like that i i knew i knew when i got there was like a few takes i was like yeah they didn't like that and those takes definitely didn't make it so but at least i felt it and i knew not to do it again yeah learning moment coaching i am coachable i'll tell you that do we think fon saw uh the scene of you talking about big peter and his uh banana hammock banana splitter banana splitter yeah listen man everybody's got a pass jason hey they do yeah it sounds like it sounds like it made me better you know what it sounds like what it sounds like lois wants to remember big peter because big peter that's right yeah when i was reading that on the script yeah i was just like this is somehow make it. Cool, cool, cool, cool.
Yeah, I'll make this sound great. Big Peter and his banana splitter.
If I was a stripper, how would I make this sound? Yeah. All right, let's get to some Out of the House.
That's right. But before we get into Travis's game, we're going to talk about Out of the House in Kansas City.
Out of the House is brought to you by coke zero sugar tackle game day with irresistible taste of coke zero sugar it's the best coke ever try and decide jason how was your first kelsey car jam uh it's great i uh saw a bunch of really cool cars nice i'm not i'm you know me i'm terrible with like makes and models of cars yeah but i know when i see a car if i like it fuck yeah and there is a lot of cool cars there yeah yeah and i like old cars there was um there were there were like two that stood out to me there was a there was a really old like resto mode bronco nice that looks sweet go wrong with a bronco and it was like would you say what kind of bronco resto mode so it was like uh i think that's what it's called resto mod resto mode something like that i don't know the pronunciation is that just like a fancy word for restoration yeah i think what's a so resto restoration it's basically a old it's like the it's like the original look of the bronco with all the original it's just like the frame and everything's brand new on it okay it's custom so they've restored it but it's all original look and feel and everything got it okay that's cool yeah that thing was awesome and then the uh the monster truck dude i fucking love monster trucks man yeah i want to get in one so bad you want to ace ventura i just want to my favorite was the uh international harvester pickup truck that was out there it's like a metallic grayish blue. I got in it.
There's a picture of me out there sitting in it. Nice.
It was awesome. Excited for the Ignition Lab to get their Bronco up and running.
It looks absolutely awesome. Are they working on it right now? It has like the matte silver look right now.
Yeah, it was sweet. They showed like how far along they were with it.
And then on top of that, they're auctioning off the 1969 Chevelle that they turned into an electric car to put a Tesla engine under it. And when I say they, these high school kids at the Ignition Lab.
Yeah, why don't you explain what the Ignition Lab is for people that don't? So the Ignition Lab is an extension of what Operation Break has been doing uh with their stem labs uh in the building and stem is science technology engineering math um and they have just a bunch of like i don't know uh rooms of like the mechanics uh the it has a um entertainment studio it has it has a whole bunch of stuff that these kids can get their hands on and get into. And it's just an awesome...
Get training and expertise. Yeah.
It gets just everything. And it's giving these kids something that they wouldn't have otherwise and giving kids something to do outside of school and after school and something they can gravitate towards and see if they enjoy.
One of them is the mechanic shop, like I just mentioned, and they actually turned a 69 Chevelle into an electric car by doing the welding and all the, I don't know, the Tesla battery pack that's on the bottom of it or in the front and the back trunk. It's pretty cool.
Yeah. They got my Chevy Silverado.
They're converting to electric right now nice dude and it's a 1986

square body chevy and i still haven't been i need to make it to operation breakthrough in the

ignition lab and all that but yeah um i'm fired up to see what it's like and they said they're

going to try and teach me to weld which i think it's also sounds pretty good it's pretty sweet

yeah if it's anything like soldering i'm gonna be fucking terrible at it yeah i wouldn't know

i mean it's definitely not like soldering but it's kind of like i don't know we don't know

Thank you. sounds pretty good it's pretty sweet yeah if it's anything like soldering i'm gonna be fucking terrible at it yeah i wouldn't know i mean it's definitely not like soldering but it's kind of like i don't know we don't know what the fuck we're talking about no no idea well that's why you go to places that do and you get to learn yeah shout out to operation breakthrough shout out to kelsey card jam it was an awesome event shout out to everyone that showed up uh it was really awesome to see the community support everybody there, it goes towards a good cause.
Kansas City always shows up, baby. That's why I love it here, man.
Whether it's foundation events, whether it's celebrating somebody or just good old Chiefs game, baby, they're showing up no matter what, man. That's why we love them.
Tailgate with Chiefs Kingdom. Moving on to game day, ESPN sent you out into the kingdom.
that's right we love them tailgate with chief's kingdom yeah moving on to game day uh espn sent you send you out into the kingdom yeah that's right you were uh you were tailgating a little bit out there in the parking lot was yeah um what was it like what was it like tailgating at arrowhead i've only tailgated at uh at eagles games yeah and i've only been to one tailgate i have been to a tailgate before chief's kingdom uh for a playoff game years ago, but I didn't really venture around.

I was kind of just in one spot and it was like a Budweiser tent that was there or whatever.

And I just stayed there.

And then every other time I go to your games, you have the bus that takes everybody there.

So I just go with that.

So I really haven't tailgated a lot.

Yeah.

So I thought it'd be cool to go experience it.

And I was only able to be out there for like 40 minutes maybe like it was quick yeah but they were running me around the golf cart i was meeting all sorts of people it was awesome it was great good food good people i love it everybody just looking to have a good time getting fired up for the game come on now baby it's kansas city i asked everybody like why they do it and they're like hey these this everybody around here is like family now. Like, they've been going to it for years, season ticket holders.

There was more New Orleans food than there was Kansas City food.

I had so much, like, gumbo and jambalaya.

You didn't see any, like, barbecue or anything?

I mean, it was around, but most of the stuff that everybody was eating where I was at,

I think it's common for, I guess, the teams to make the food that they're playing. Kind of like a fun little potluck deal that they got going on? I guess.
There's also a decent amount of New Orleans fans in the tailgate. They showed up.
All right. So it was fun.
I always like it. That's the beautiful thing about sports.
It's a unifying thing. Everybody comes together.
And you try and kill each other. but then you're friends afterwards.
It's the best. It doesn't always work out like that, but yeah.
Learned how to suction cup a beer can to my palm. I'm sorry, what? Yeah.
The tailgate was incredible. Had an Abner Haynes jersey on.
Nobody asked me a single thing about Abner Haynes. I can tell everybody about the Abner Haynes because I was – So, yeah.
You asked me to try and help you out with this, and I was like, yeah, perfect. No problem.
And it was – The KC Pro Shop hooked it up for sure. So, this offseason – Shout out to the KC Pro Shop for getting the turnaround for us.
This offseason, Abner Haynes died. Oh, RIP.
Abner Haynes died, yes. RIP.
He is in the Chiefs Ring of Honor or Hall of Fame. Yeah.
And I didn't know really who Abner Haynes was. And then, obviously, you see that he passes away, so you start clicking articles, and dude was just awesome.
He's a great running back, played for the Dallas Texans and the Kansas City Chiefs. But more important than that, it felt like he was really a member of the community.
Went to North Texas State, I believe believe north texas state which you know you're good if you're going to north texas state and then go on to the afl yeah afl nice yeah lived a good life of being a great football player and a promising uh like just awesome member of the community so i thought it'd be cool to pay honor to the great abner haynes i love it it, man. Yeah.
Kansas City's got a bunch of them. They do.
They do. It's a story to franchise.
Bobby Bell. Bobby Bell.
Who's Bobby Bell? That's a great name. Bobby Bell, defensive end, I believe, linebacker maybe.
No, Willie Lanier was definitely the linebacker. Willie Lanier.
Yep. He was a big time.
He was always, what is it, Walter Payton Man of the Year. He got a lot of honors for being awesome in the community, which it wasn't Walter Payton Man of the Year back then.
Yeah, but it's the equivalent now? Yeah. Yeah.
They really don't have an equivalent now, but yeah. Met Willie, no Bobby, everybody.
The Chiefs Ambassadors were the best. Even when Len was alive, RIP Len Dawson, when he was in the building, he was actually one of the first guys I met.
And there's just, I mean, the list goes on of ambassadors and chiefs kingdom that kind of stick around and, you know, pass that legacy, man. The best thing I ate at the tailgate probably was the cheddar brat because I wasn't ready for the cheddar.
And the moment I bit into it, there was cheddar in it.

And it was just a magical moment.

You know I'm out on that shit.

Cheddar?

You're out on a cheddar brat?

Yeah.

What on earth are you out on a cheddar brat for?

I just, anything in like a casing like that, I'm out.

I just don't.

That's right.

You don't like cylindrical meats.

We've been over this.

They make sausage without like the casing around it.

No.

No, they don't.

I guarantee they do. No.
Oh, you're talking about like tacos, taco meat. That's not sausage.
All right. Well, I'm glad you enjoyed your jambalaya in Kansas city.
Also had some pasta lie. You ever had that? No, I'm not.
I'm also not a Creole, like New Orleans style food. Oh, you were missing out.
I hear this all the time. And every time I try it, I'm just like.
Still not feeling it.

No.

Every time.

Well.

I think it's just a mental block.

Yeah.

Or you just don't like it.

Is it the spice?

Like, what do you not like about it?

Jambalaya.

I just, there's something about just like water and rice.

I just, I don't, I don't think.

It's like a soupy rice?

Soupy rice.

I just, and then it's like.

Do you like curry? It's like pooey. Pooey? Yeah.
You talking about color? Yeah. You're still judging foods by the color? No, I can't.
It's not even judging it. It's just like...
It's like a mental block. Like, oh, that's...
That's poop? Yeah. Do you like curry? Do you just...
Dude, you know I'm starting to open up to to open up to i know to the girl tay's getting you opened up she is she's introducing new foods to you and it's been one of the greatest things that i've been happy about and the israeli spot in philadelphia zahav yep shout out to michael salominoff that was awesome yeah i like that spot a lot yeah um i'm still picky when it comes to like what I'll eat on it, but. Yeah.
Or eat on the table. But at the same time, it's like I'm.
So are you in or out on curry? I'm down to dance. I'll dance.
Are you in or out on curry? I'm in on like a light curry. A light curry? Yeah.
The more it's like it gets thicker and it looks like a baby food or like baby shit, then I'm out. So you just have a mental block with foods that look like poop? Food that looks like it just came out of a butthole, yes.
I do have a mental block for that, yeah. Big Skyline Chili fan.
Oh, you know, I'm so in. Just throw cheese on it.
I'll be all right. Just won't even notice.
Won't even know. Come out the same way it went in.
Sorry, guys um well i don't know what else to add there what's better tailgating at the link or tailgating at arrowhead don't be biased i don't i haven't really i mean i did some i did do a little bit of tailgating at the link but it wasn't the tailgate i went to at the link had an alligator which i don't think is regional to the Philadelphia area. So I'm not sure why there was an alligator.
I mean, they were both great. I think, honestly, I don't think I got a, because of this short time period and we were moving because I had to get on Monday night countdown.
I think I'd probably want to get back to Kansas city to do like a fuller tailgate. And the only one I've been to with the Eagles and tailgated was when I was doing my night countdown as well.
Yeah. So like I've just been, because I have to work later, I haven't been able to drink and fully experience the tailgates the way I probably normally would.
They've been great. And the people there are top notch at both establishments.
I almost blew out my man, Dumpy's ACL. Shout out to Dumpy.
He's all right. That's a big dude, man.
Three-point stance, chest bump. You forced him into doing that, too.
He didn't want to do that. He asked me before we went up there to do it.
Yeah. Then he was like, nah, this isn't a good idea.
You're like, we're doing it. Well, once you get on the ride, you can't get off.
That's such a banger. All right.
Little Monday night countdown. Hey.
Well, you didn't sign any babies, but you did sign a leg during a commercial break. I did.
How about it, man? Prosthetic leg. That was pretty cool.
Did you... Was that the guy wearing the 62 jersey? No, this is a woman.
Oh, okay. Nice.
A fan in the crowd sent their prosthetic leg down to have you guys sign it. And I know it was a woman because as I was signing, I looked up, and she had her leg up in the air.
And there was nothing mid-shin and down. Usually you could tell that that prosthetic.
And I was like, oh, that's her leg. Yeah.
Yeah. It was a dead giveaway.
Not my first leg I've signed. Ooh, who's? I think I signed a vet's leg that was an Eagles fan at some event that I've been to.

But this is the first Monday Night Football Countdown League that has been signed.

Very cool.

Me, Ryan Swagoo, and Scott Benpelt all signed it.

So I hope you're happy with those signatures.

Yeah.

I mean, she threw her leg up.

So you get what you get at that point.

100%.

I guess what's nice about the prosthetic, I suppose like some people get tattoos now. You can just.
You need to get another prosthetic. I don't think it's just.
They're probably pretty expensive. And that does it for Out of the House.
Brought to you by Coke Zero Sugar. Hey.
All right, want to do the donut bit? Cool. So before we get to football, we're going to review some donuts.
Lamar's donuts. Oh, yeah.
This is specific to Kansas City? Oh, yeah. Since 1933.
Oh, yeah. Right on the box.
Yeah, it does. Right there.
Celebrating 90 years. How about that? Donuts have been around for 90 years.
Well, these donuts have probably been around longer than 90 years. That's a good lamar back then back in 1933 figured it out yellow box man i see these things is like fucking this is like seeing gold it's like finding pokemon when you see a fucking yellow box just on like a random desk now you know a football facility it's like oh shit i wonder if they got the blueberry glaze in there well you know that i'm a very um critical of donuts i don't like cake donuts it's a waste of time don't know why anybody likes them it's not a donut it's a cake it's a circular cake a donut needs to be fluffy and airy and you always start with glaze go with the simplest thing don't get all these concoctions where they try and sell you on these gimmicky donuts.

Didn't you have a gimmicky donut

named after you?

I did, and we raised some money,

so it was for a good cause.

Some people like them.

Listen, if that's what you like,

that's what you like,

but you always start

with a simple donut.

Yeah.

Give it a little pull test.

It's a good pull. It's a good pull part.
Yeah, it is. It's got good gluten structure.
Yeah. And it's also, this is in the afternoon, and these were made in the morning.
It's a good observation. It's a good donut.
Yeah, it is. Really good donut.
It's a fantastic't you can see how like jason's fingerprints are like they're in it it's got it's got good squish and rebound yeah it's got a good squish and rebound the glaze is a little like crystal-y if that makes sense i like a nice little like i mean it's not bad i like like a nice little sugary chunk here and there. It's not bad.
Very good. Yep.
It almost tastes like it's like almost a little bit under baked. Dude I'm telling you.
And I think that that's good though. Like it's I like it.
But it could have Oh yeah. I could have maybe spent like a second more in the fryer.

All right. Ooh, I grabbed the best one in the box right now.

How's Portnoy do this?

Would you give it like something out of 10 or something like that?

I mean, it is 10 out of 10 right here.

You can't give it a 10.

Yeah, I can.

What do you do with the rest of the donuts?

What if we get a donut that's better than that one then?

What?

What if you get a donut better than this and you've already rated this a 10?

What do you rate that one?

That's a good point. That's why you don't ever go straight to 10.
I got to re-rate this one then. You can't re-rate.
Yes, you can. You can't re-rate.
Yeah, this is 10 out of 10. That's why you don't go 10.
You got to go below 10. You always got to give options to go higher.
No. It's a good donut.
It's a fucking 10 out of 10. It's not a 10.
What is this? It's slightly underb slightly under baked it's got great structure sugary glaze could be a little bit more smooth i'm gonna go seven eight what yeah i'll go eight two eight two good donut good donut really good donut very happy with this donut yeah you're serious about your reviews think this is a phenomenal donut. I'm enjoying the hell out of it.
And when I feel this, I give it a 10. So you're going to get a lot of 10 donuts.
Dude. What's up with...
But they also have cake. I eat 10 donuts.
So they also have... Every Friday before practice.
You eat 10? Well, rate it. I only eat like four.

But that's just a car. All right.

Here's a little cake.

They also have cake.

I just don't know how anybody could prefer this to this.

They need the.

Yeah.

I hear you.

They need the blueberry glaze.

This is the lazy man's donut.

It goes good with coffee.

It goes good with coffee. Listen, I'm not saying it's bad.
Like, it's sugar and dough. It's going to be good.
Fucking love these things. I'm just wearing all this sugar, too, and I'm just going to piece by piece just eat it.
All right. There you have it.
8.2, 10. Meaningless.

If you're in Kansas City, make sure you check out Lamar's.

You got a bunch of locations all over the place.

Bold topics to wrap up week five in the NFL.

Starting with my game.

That's right.

How about that?

Chiefs 26, Saints 13.

I don't even know if that score adequately reflects how much you guys pretty much dominated the whole game. If you guys could get in the end zone fucking more, it would be even higher.
Don't tell me about it. Let's start with the offense.
You guys dominated the time of possession the entire first half. Really got to go and Kareem Hunt, again, another solid outing.
I mean, coming out of nowhere. Wasn't on anybody's team.
And sure enough, him and Juju Smith-Schuster, you think that they're kind of done in the NFL. They come to the Chiefs and look like two of the best players in the NFL.
I don't get how these guys were just... Well, Juju Smith-Schuster was in New England.
He didn't have any quarterbacks throwing him the ball. That's a good point.
Yeah. Shout out to Nick Chubb over there in Cleveland.
One of. They were there.
I mean, Nick Chubb, you want to give that guy the ball. You do.
And we want to give Kareem the ball. And he's absolutely killing it right now.
He's doing great. You guys have needed it in Pop's absence.
Him and Carson Steele have stepped up. That day.
Kareem Hunt ended with 102 yards, a touchdown. Damn.
For some stat nerds out there, which I know everybody loves that now. Just the Northeast Ohio ball player, baby.
This is his first touchdown as a Chief in 2,149 days. It was a Kareem Hunt style touchdown.
Just break a few tackles, run through a few arm tackles. Did he break some tackles? I'm pretty sure Kareem breaks at least one tackle every time he touches.
Every time? Yeah. That's a good running back ad for you, dude.
He's also the first Chief to carry the ball 27 times since – oh, yeah, that's right. Kareem Hunt also did that on December 24th, 2017.
Yeah, it was a good idea back in 2017. Now it's still a good idea to hand them.
Especially if it's working. Oh, yeah.
Juju Smith-Schuster also had some stats out there. Led all receivers for the Kansas City Chiefs to seven receptions for 130 yards.
Everybody was wondering what that Kansas City offense was going to look like without Rasheed Rice, how they were going to place him. And Juju goes out there with a big game for 130.
Almost had a touchdown, but we'll talk about that in a second. Some stats for those nerds.
Juju's 130 receiving yards are his most in the game since the 2020-2021 season wildcard round with the Steelers. Juju is also the first Chiefs wide receiver not named to Shee Rice with 100plus yards receiving in a single regular season game since.

That's right.

Juju again had 124 yards against the 49ers on October 23rd, 2022. Yeah.
Yeah. Why was it so easy to simply just put Juju in the game and then all of a sudden him to ball out? Well, one, both these guys are familiar with the offense.
They're familiar with the scheme. I think they're familiar with the nucleus of the coaching staff and the players that we got here.
So they just – honestly, it just felt like we got our guys back in the building. It wasn't – there was no like, all right, let's ease them into it.
It was like, no, they're ready to rock and roll right now. They know all the terminology and all the plays.
And I mean, Juju's won a Super Bowl with us.

Kareem's had unbelievable success in this offense before.

So I think when it comes down to what Coach Reed is going to call, everybody is very familiar

on how to have success with it.

Yeah.

And Andy knows how to utilize those guys to their shirts.

100%.

And Pat knows how to get these guys the ball.

Yep.

And he's trusting it.

Yeah.

Which is awesome to see.

Well, the other person he's trusting is primetime Big Yeti.

That's right.

As we all know, Travis came up big because he had someone special in the stadium.

Someone that means a lot to him.

And he really tries to always perform well when they're there, and that is me. Have I ever had a bad game? Not in Kansas City.
I didn't have a great game when we played you guys. You've always had good games when I show up.
Well, I guess last year I didn't have a great game. Which game? The playoff games? You dominated the playoffs.
Those were the only games I went to last year.

Oh, I thought you were – I was like talking to like the games that I played against you guys.

Oh, that's true.

The game that we played last year wasn't like outstanding.

Yeah.

The Super Bowl game, you had a couple big catches.

Yeah.

You didn't go for 100, but you still went – it was a good day.

It was like 90 or something, 89 or something.

Yeah, you still had a good day.

I do love a good Monday night showdown. Come on now.
God damn. Come on now.
I mean, I was fired up for that. It's also the knees feel a little bit better.
You got a little bit of extended rest too. All right now.
It's crazy what that extra day does. Yeah.
Just 24 hours later. It's crazy.
How big of a difference it makes for the body is remarkable, which he will pay the price this week. Oh, wait, no, bye week.
I forgot. Yeah.
That's nice. So you're not on a short week.
I mean, I'd rather have a shorter week and have my bye later in the season. It's fair.
Yeah. Early bye sucks.
Yeah. Dude, the Chiefs have the ability to turn the lights off and on now in the stadium.
Like, they didn't have an off switch for their lights? No, I don't think so. I think they were always on.
There's no way that's possible. Either that or like, you know, remember like in like the gym in high school or like.
Older lights, when you turn them off, it would take them a while to go off. Or You turn them on.
You'd have to wait for it.

They're not fluorescent.

What is it? I don't know the name of them.

But yeah, now we have the ability because when we came out

of the tunnel, the lights were off.

And I was like, man.

How about that? Top flight organization.

Chiefs getting new lights. How about it, baby?

Who said we had the worst facilities?

Millions of dollars at stake here

and we can finally turn our lights off and on and a button.

Yeah.

Let's get right to the play everybody's talking about.

Travis, and that's the lateral.

You guys got about, I don't know, how much time was left in the half?

Maybe 30 seconds, something like that?

No way.

It was not 30 seconds.

It was like two minutes, like just under the two minutes.

No chance there was two minutes left.

You guys were way under the two minutes. We got the ball back and almost scored again.
Oh, this was the first possession. Yeah.
Am I right on that? Three and a half minutes left. Yeah, thank you.
Okay. I thought that this was the second two-minute deal.
All right, there you go. Thank you.
Third and 22. Most teams are like, hey, let's just get the ball in the middle of the field, push it forward, make it a little bit easier for old butt kicker.
And you guys decided to not do that. Well, I actually went into the huddle like, hey, boys, let's just make sure we get in the field goal range here.
I remember saying that in the huddle. Yeah.
And then Pat literally said, yeah, listen, you are that. Like, you're the underneath guy.
Like, you're open quick. I'm probably going to go to you.
Yeah. Just kind of get north.
Get as much as you can. We're kicking the field goal.
Yeah. Well, that's not what you did.
Here's a clip for those of you that didn't see what he did. He did probably the riskiest thing that any coach.
Got it. Got it.
Actually, like that does... Stick to the play.
Stick to the play. Stick to the play.
Oh, my God. He's lateraling again.
Oh, my God. Hey, how about that? We almost got a first down.
What was going on here? I don't... So, I knew before you even pitched this...
No, you didn't. When you caught it and the first thing you did was not tuck it, but you held it like this.

I was like, this dude is – and you looked.

And I'm like, this dude is about to pitch the ball.

Then you tucked it.

I was like, okay, thank God he's not pitching.

And I was like, oh, no, he actually is still going to do it.

So what goes on in your head?

It all happens so fast.

I kind of black out, which I'm sure Coach Reed is going to love hearing.

I'm sure Coached doesn't care

because there's never been one of these that hasn't worked out one yeah that's right yeah we don't want to jinx this so when you when you catch this ball do you just know that p ryan's going to be in the flat i had no idea that he had a chip anything on the backside i was you just know I was reversing field.

I felt guys over-

You felt everyone pursuing you.

And I was reversing field.

I felt guys over pursue.

You felt everyone pursuing to you.

And I was like, oh, I could get more yards going this way.

Yeah.

And then I realized I couldn't get more yards going that way.

But what is causing you to look and see if there's somebody behind you?

There's a guy in red over here.

I just feel him.

You just feel that.

Yeah.

It's like fast break basketball.

You're here and you just feel your guys running the lane. You look like Larry Bird out there.
Larry Bird? Larry Legend. I'll take that.
Just a better looking version. I mean, Larry was an ugly guy.
Yeah, but Larry's a smooth operator. He was very smooth.
Hell yeah, he was. Well, you got the fourth and one.
It was incredible. I loved that.
I mean, you can't just throw it on me. It's Samaj a unbelievable job by Piran to actually like be.
Because he was kind of like shuffling in his face. Did you see his quote after the game? No, I didn't.
What did he say? It's not in here. But he was like, yeah.
Because Piran's only been here for how long? Three weeks. Exactly.
Four weeks. No, I guess the beginning of the season.
It was like right around the start of the season. Yeah, he's been here for five weeks now.
I don't think he was. Was he there for week one? I think so.
Okay. So he's been here for five weeks i don't think he was was he there for week one i think so okay so he's been here but he was a late addition yeah he was definitely here since the beginning of the season so either way he's like yeah you know i saw him do it a couple times in practice and i just figured you know hey i guess i'll just stay in phase here it's a ball player right there it's a ball player right there i love it man they were like have you ever been a part of something like that he's like nah what was it like he's like hey It's like I player right there.
It's a ball player right there. I love it, man.
They were like, have you ever been a part of something like that? He's like, nah. What was it like? He's like, hey, it's like I'm playing backyard football.
It's fun. Let's go, baby.
Some other reactions. Coach Reed was asked about it.
And this was actually going into half. Coach Reed was asked about that play.
And he said, we do it every day in practice. I can't tell you the name of it.
So Andy clearly acted like this was something that was called. I mean, he's not lying.
Scott told me this on, because I did the halftime segment too. And they said this clip, and I was like, there ain't no chance that he's called.
The old reverse field lateral. From our foot.
No. Yeah.
Especially in that situation. No, that was not called.
I mean, coach is in line though. We do.
We do it a lot. I mean, Samadji said it too.
He was ready for it for a reason. And I think they might, should just start letting you do it.
I think Andy kind of does. Listen.
What did Andy say to you? What did Andy say to you? I haven't talked to coach about it. See? That's how you know he's letting you do it.
Well, I told you. If anybody else did it, he would be crushing them.
What? Why would he be crushing them if he got us to fourth and one and a chance to convert? Because most people, if they try and do that a lot, it's going to lead to fumbles and turnovers. I mean, I don't do it a lot.
But he knows for some reason you have this weird spider-man sense for lateraling the football that doesn't make any sense. I'll tell you what, Tyron.
Other than the fact that you played basketball. My guy, Honey Badger, Tyron Matthew, could have absolutely smoked me on that play.
He ran right past you, full speed. You'll see me.
I like braced myself. I'm like, oh, God.
Yeah. You were exposed.
Like, bowled it. Nah, man.
It was a fun play and it got us a fourth and one and got us a chance to convert, man. Another quote from one of your teammates, Pat, was asked about the play.
I told him I was throwing it to him so we could kick a field goal. Yes, makes sense.
And he laterals it all the way across the field. It's like I'm talking to Sterling.
His daughter. In one ear, out the other.
I got you. No, yeah, yeah, for sure.
I'm pretty sure I replied with I got you. Yeah, no, that's, yeah, what else would we be doing? Yeah, no, I got, no, I'm with you.
Field goal. Fourth and one.
Hey, we're going for touchdown because you guys ended up getting the fourth and one. We got the fourth and one, but we ended up kicking the field.
Kicking the field anyways, but hey, kept the drive alive. Yeah.
Nick Sirianni actually called me this morning asking if it was as a design play. Dude, if you watch it from like the full 22, there's no way.
You don't think it does? Oh, because of the chip? It's the chip. chip and on top of that it's just like the lateral across field like that's i'm not banking on that as a coach that everything's gonna go right yeah to where somebody could run across field and then throw it that's fair i think he knew the answer when he was asking it to me yeah he's but we do practice it then we got you in the Wildcat.
Second half, Pat motions out. The Big Yeti goes to the Q position.
And you guys do a little zone read type option. It wasn't a zone.
But you guys do a little read and read the end. It's a power lead.
Yeah, exactly. With Xavier Worthy going on like a little – he's going flat.
At the end, collapses on the run. Jason, you know this plays are too well, man.
This is the first play I've ever had in college football. Just a nice little – Try to score a touchdown as a wildcat quarterback.
Follow Jason up the lane, man. Right up the hash, baby.
But you did not hand it off – or you did not keep it. You handed it off to Xavier who went around the end for a touchdown.
You got to read the end. you can't be selfish I could tell you wanted to keep that bitch I almost because you dragged that read out as long as possible please take it please take that they are happy you can't some of these DNs are getting savvy on these reads if you so you gotta you gotta keep them honest and then they'll jump back out you're right you gotta keep them honest they're seeing it a lot more nowadays especially with the way offenses are incorporating these types of plays more and more.
At the end of the day, if it's cloudy, give it to the fastest guy on the team. That's probably a safe bet.
All right, he can just run everybody. Just go run in there.
I'll tell you what, man. Fine, you can score the touchdown.
Xavier's been killing it, man. He has been.
I absolutely love watching him play, man. I love playing with him on the field.
And he has this crazy, like, ability when he has the ball to just get – like, he's already skinny, but he just slithers through shit. Slithery is a good trait for a ball here.
It is. It is.
And I'm not going to lie. He slithered his way in on that one.
We needed it big. Well, he also slithered his way over to his mama.
After the touchdown, Xavier Worthy found his mom in the stands and gave her the ball, which, hey, how can you not love a guy that's giving the ball to mama? Yeah, you already know. What's mama worth it? I was trying to catch him the whole time.
I was like, come here. Come here.
I handed it to you. Yeah.
I found it. You're going to your mom.
Oh, nice. Cool.
Love it. Yep.
Got to show mom some love. Well, she'll put that one on the mantle, I'm sure.
Then we got to talk about the other thing. And that's the thing that has been dominant for the Chiefs for, I mean, two years now.
And that's this defense. Spagnola has been running the best defense in the NFL for close to two years now.
Spags, man. I love that guy.
What else is there to say about the defense that hasn't already been set? I mean, I knew. Listen, when you went, New Orleans struggled big time against the Eagles and Jalen Carter, and then they're out three interior guys or two interior guys, I'm like, dude, Chris Jones is about to have a day, and he did not disappoint.
He was all over. I mean, it's Chris Jones.
I'm pretty sure you could have your interior guys in there. That's a good point.
It doesn't matter. But I mean, even with those guys out, it's like even more like, gosh, how are they going to do this? And they did it.
You got to have a plan. Well, they had a plan.
And then they got Chris Jones. I mean, I get it.
Mr. Jones.
What's that? Mr. Jones.
Mr. Jones.
Mr. Jones.
Me. I can't do it right now.
He got a thing going on, man. It's Mr.
Jones. He got a thing going on.
He's swimming the guards. All right.
Bull rush in the center. Man, he is.
You want to talk about slithery? It's a big slithery guy right there. Yeah, that's a guy that shouldn't be slithery, but he is.
But he is. Yeah.
Like he does – like I feel like whenever I like get a chance to block him in practice, he just knows that he could just pick me up and move me. Yeah.
So he just has fun trying to slither me. Yeah.
Well, he knows he can go to that. Yeah.
So he works on the slitheriness so that he has both in his pocket. The defense got the momentum going right from the jump when – B.
Cook. Well, yeah, B.
Cook threw a i mean it was like a jackpot throw jackpot what was he doing just dude what was that throw dude i love derrick car derrick car who doesn't he when he's on he's like the best i don't know what that was i've seen derrick car throw some some teddies. Of course.
He threw me one in the Pro Bowl, actually. He threw one in this game.
Yeah, he did. He was going to do a bomb.
Yeah, it was fucking. You rebounded nice from the interception.
It was one of my backyard football moments in the Pro Bowl. Yeah.
He's in there. We get into the red zone.
We had ran the Tampa, the corner concept so many freaking times that I went up to him. I was like, hey, if they play on that cover three, I'm just about to run that corner post.
And he looked at me. It was like, it like registered in his head.
He's like, all right. Sure enough, right? I'm talking about on time, three and a hitch.
So the same throw he made in that game is the same throw he made. Because they ran a corner post.
That's what they scored on. Yes, but mine wasn't like 80 yards downfield.

It was just like a little 15-yard touchdown.

Essentially, yeah.

He was ready for it.

There you go.

I just like it when QBs are just ball players.

You know what I mean?

Like guys.

They're not regimented into the lines on the paper.

Man, I just.

This read, then this read, then this read, and then I do this.

You got to go out here and make shit shake.

Yeah.

Make sure you... They're not regimented into the lines on the paper.
Man, I just. This read, then this read, then this read, and then I do this.
You got to go out here and make shit shake. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, here's some stats for the Chiefs defense that has been unbelievable through the first half of the season.
Well, through the first quarter of the season. The opposing team's feature running backs are a combined 66 carries for 169 yards.
That is a whopping 2.6 yards per carry. Zilch.
Derek Henry, who has looked unstoppable these last few weeks for Baltimore, I guess really just that last play this past week. But 13 carries for 46 yards against the Chiefs.
Zach Moss, 12 carries for 34 yards. B.
John Robinson, heard of that guy. He ran all over the Eagles.
16 carries for 31 yards. J.K.
Dobbins, 14 carries. I mean, these are awful stat lines.
Alvin Kamara, one of the best running backs over the last what? I mean, you just named four of the top running backs in the NFL right there. And not just like this year, like that have been up there.
Alvin Kamara, 11 carries, 26 yards. Again, I went into the game not expecting much.
Spaggs wasn't good enough. And he got half of those yards on a… That's right.
That reversed. A play that was shut down.
A broken play that he made happen. Yeah.
Which, that's what he does. And obviously, we can throw Spaggs' names out there, but the defense just plays so great together.
Yeah. And when it comes to the run game, Mike Dana, George Karloftis,

guys are just like playing their part.

And then you got the backers just flying the fuck around.

Yeah, Bolton's all over the place.

Bolton, Trank. He sniff screens out.

I mean, he's –

Drew Tranquil's out there flying the fuck around.

Is Leo Chanel a DN now?

He's everything.

He's our like jack of all trade.

He can just do everything.

Yeah.

He's fucking –

John Cena! You know? Dun, dun, dununders. My brother from another.
And he caught a nice little juju, kind of missed one of them, went off his hands right into the big man's hands. And take a look at this highlight.
He was moving. Thick picks.
Thick pick. Thick pick.
He was moving. According to NextGen stats, 15.8 miles per hour on this 36-yard interception return.
That doesn't even do it justice. You got to watch it.
His little legs were a-churning. Bro, them legs aren't little.
His stride is little. No, them legs are short.
He's got short little stumpy legs, and they were trucking. I mean, former running back in college.

He looked like it. Yeah.
It was an impressive athletic run. Yeah.
It wasn't like a de-tackle deal. Dude, I've seen that guy do backflips.
I've seen the social clips too. He's a good athlete.
And this was an impressive pick. Yeah.
All I could hear was the Super Mario Star theme song. That's so good.
The third fastest speed by a ball carrier who weighs over 320 pounds. I suppose that's a compliment.
That's hilarious. Since 2016, which I think is like when they started recording this type of data.
Third fastest fat guy. Well, third fastest big, like extra fat guy.
Yeah. He's not the fattest, but he's, there ain't many guys over 320.
I felt like I ran into a fucking brick wall when I, on the play right before this. He obliterated you.
It was like, I caught the ball and that, the play that was designed, it's like, it's such a bang, bang play. Like I catch it and I'm already having to like lean forward.
So it's like either the holes there. It's not.
Yeah. And he was just standing right in and I'm just like, well, we're going right.
Here we go. Yeah.
And he is a, let me tell you, if you're 320 pounds doing flips, there ain't a lot of loosey gooseyness to to that 320. That is a boulder with short, stumpy legs on it.

And he is also the brother.

Oh, there he is.

Look at him with the gas mask on.

Oh, yeah.

The Bane mask?

Yeah.

Getting some fresh oxygen.

I'd have been tired after that.

Just 0-2.

For sure.

LeBron's out of the game with eight catches in the first half of tonight's game.

Travis tied his record for second most catches in the first half of a regular season game

in his career.

What the fuck am I reading?

He has had eight plus first half receptions versus the Los Angeles Chargers on October 22nd, 23rd and 9th. And then he last had exactly eight first half receptions at Hughes.
So he had a really good first half. That's what that stat means.
Week six, the next time the Chiefs are going to play, there's going to be week six. They're on a bye this week.
Or week seven. They're on a bye this week.
Next week, the next time they're going to play is going to be against San Fran. I see.
This will piss me off. San Francisco.
Do you know that they don't like being called San Fran? San Franciscans? No. Like they like they they get mad if you like abbreviate i don't know because they're because they're too good to be called for sam for you don't get to choose your nickname everybody knows that growing up your nickname is what your nickname is people choose your nickname you don't get to choose your own nickname don't tell me what to call you sam fran now i want to call you sam fran more i don't even want to call you Sam.
I'm going to shorten it more. You guys are now Franny.
You guys play Franny on week seven next week. I won't be a part of this.
You don't want to give him any more gas? Well, hey, they don't need any more juice. They're going to be fired up to get back in the wind column.
They're not happy with how things have gone, I'm sure. Man, it was tough watching them this week yeah any uh do you guys any you have any bad week plans of course i do you're gonna tell anybody no but if any of it comes out i'm sure we'll talk about it on the show sounds good let's move along to some week five storylines uh talk about some of the biggest storylines coming out of week five in the nfl me and jason actually watched sunday football together we did we did i uh i fell asleep on some of those afternoon games.
The four clock games, you took a nice little nap, which you're getting ready to play Monday. Yeah.
And you dozed off there a little bit towards the- I did. I took a little 15-minute power nap.
But that's what Sundays are for. Yeah.
Sunday was officially the longest day of NFL football ever. How about that? The London game kicked off at 9.32 a.m.
Eastern on Sunday. And Sunday night football ended at 1 a.m.
Eastern because of the rain delay. Yeah.
It's a long day. It's a pretty crazy day.
I will say this, though, man. It's just nothing better than just getting the crew together and watching some football, man.
I agree. I mean, it's the reason why it's the most popular sport in America.
And YouTube TV just makes it so fun because you can watch four games at once. Yeah.
It's just you always have something to talk about and something to see. Sunday ticket and being able to watch all the games drastically improves Sunday.
There's nothing worse than being stuck with the two games that are on that are just abysmal games. Yeah.
Because now you're just watching like ESPN to see what's happening in the good games. Yeah.
So being able to go to all the games, it's a big bonus. I'm with you, man.
Watching that, what was it? We were watching the Baltimore game. Baltimore game.
Baltimore-Cincinnati. That was a freaking...
It was awesome. That was a banger.
Slower first half, but the second half was fucking electric. Bombs over Baghdad.

Dude, that Lamar – we're going to probably get to it, huh?

I don't know.

I don't know what he put in this rundown.

No, we're not.

Dude, that Lamar touchdown where he broke like three stiff arm in the end.

Stiff arm Hubbard, and he's running, still rolling.

I still thought him twice.

He's like, bam.

Hubbard came back for him.

He's like, bam, get in.

And he keeps going. I'm like, dude, he's about – there's no way he's about to throw.
Yes, he is going to throw in the end zone. And it was a dime right to Isaiah Likely.
I don't know how Isaiah Likely was that open. I mean, you can legitimately hold people.
I'm not going to lie. I don't know.
I don't understand what we were doing as the, uh, you can like tackle the guys. And there were two guys over there.
Yeah, they were just looking at Lamar, which I mean, I guess.

I probably would have been mesmerized by what Lamar was doing too.

Nice.

Now that I think about it.

My man Burrow was throwing lights out too.

Dude, and then Chase.

It was an old-fashioned gun.

Listen, they were talking about defense.

The whole first three to four weeks has been how the defenses are taking over the league.

Points are down all over the place.

I mean, grown men are crying about two high-s high safety defenses and how we need to outlaw them. Mel Kuyper.
It's embarrassing. He did go on the run.
Yeah. Stick the draft in Alston's mouth.
And then Lamar and Joe Burrow go out there. When baseball complains about the – no, we need to wind the baseballs up a little bit.
We need more offense.

We do need to back the mound up.

What?

I'm a big fan of backing the mound.

Get the fuck.

You're our Mel Kiper right now.

That's fine.

I don't care.

I'm not a baseball player, so I can be Mel Kiper in baseball.

I get to be that now.

You're ridiculous.

That mound distance was set when people were throwing like 80 miles an hour what when that that distance the last time they moved that mound back was a like a time in baseball when offensive like production was struggling again and they wanted more hits they wanted more on people on base they wanted to make the game have more action so they moved the mound back they haven't moved't moved it back in like, I don't know. I forget the date.
So I'm not just going to pull a number out of my ass, but it's been a long time. The hitters have also gotten better.
Yeah. I just think that they should move it back just a little bit.
They're outlawing the shift. They outlawed the shift.
I think that's ridiculous. You should be able to line up wherever you want.
The shift? You should be able to shift. Don't tell me why I can't, like hit it over there.
I think that was stupid. I'd just move the mound back.
I guess that's probably closer to the two high safeties thing. That's what I'm saying.
Yeah. Yeah.
So what would be equivalent to baseball to moving the mound? To football? Would it be the kickoff? It would be like if they, if like what they probably should do for kickers. Kickers are making like 60 yarders like it's routine.
We need to narrow these field goals. It's too easy to kick field goals now.
We got to narrow. We got to go to rugby goalposts.
Kickers should not be influencing football games as much as they are right now. Me and Connor Barwin said this like 10 years ago.
We need to get specialists out of the NFL. Specialists? Just kickers.
So how is it? How is it supposed to win it at the end? The freaking punter ruined the game. Everything's got to be a Hail Mary now.
I don't know. It adds excitement to the game.
Just throw the ball through the up rates. Why do we have to have this guy come out here and kick it? That doesn't belong in the football field.
That's way too easy. Make it make it he's got to just have a big one post you just hit the post hit the post that's three points i don't want these guys going out there in soccer shoes and you can't touch them and or make believe like this is a football play harry's won me a lot of football games well yeah i'm sure you're pro kickers you got a great kicker jake elliott shout out to jake elliott he's a kicker, too.
I just disagree with everything about it. Back to offenses not being dead.
Rookies, Jaden Daniels, Caleb Williams, and Bo Nix each had 200 plus and big wins. Big days for the rookies.
How about it, man? And we were just, so we went to Andrew Santino's show. Yeah.
And after the show. Side time.
After the show, Santino, being a Bears fan, asked me about Caleb Boyd. And I'm like, I don't know.
He doesn't look that good. And then all of a sudden, he goes out and plays like that.
And I made sure to text Santino halfway through the game. Hey, Caleb Boyd looks pretty good today.
Yeah, dude, exactly. Dude, him and Jaden Daniels both have the ability to extend the play.
For sure. So I feel like with's it's all about understanding the scheme and understanding getting the ball out in time yeah and things like that and letting those extra you know extended plays like come naturally yeah um i think caleb in the beginning was was trying to do a lot with the ball in his hands yeah he wasn.
And sometimes you just, you need to have a few of those games

to get acclimated into the NFL.

And now you realize what you can and cannot do.

I mean.

He's getting acclimated.

The coaches are getting used to what he's good at.

And he can, I'm not,

I'm not going to say he was the team at USC,

but he had to do a lot at USC.

Sure.

And to feel like that in the NFL is fucking unfair.

He's got a lot of good weapons.

That's what I'm saying. So it's like sometimes it's just letting your guys do some work for you, man.
Yeah. Well, he was finding DJ.
And he was absolutely – that's what he was doing. He was slinging the thing around.
He looked more comfortable this week. The O-line was – I mean, the Panthers were not offering much of a rush.
Yeah, sometimes you just need to, you know, get a little confidence booster. Dude.
I don't know. All I know is that, yeah, some little bit more time to feel more comfortable.
Obviously, he's been getting better. And whether that's him getting more comfortable, the coaches getting more comfortable, the offensive line playing better.
It could be a number of things. All I know is that it looked pretty good this past week.
So hopefully they can build on it. Their defense is rolling.
I did not know they were 3-2. I thought the Bears were terrible.

All of a sudden, I look at the record. I'm like, they're a winning football team?

I forgot.

That's the NFL for you, bud.

This is me. High-level NFL

analyst right here on primetime television.

Didn't even know the fucking Bears record.

I was like, I'm not paying attention. Then they suck.

Then all of a sudden, it's like,

I guess I got to watch the Bears now.

Might be the best division of football.

That's my opinion, Santino.

In terms of record, I'm not paying attention. And then they suck.
And then all of a sudden, it's like, oh, hey, I guess I got to watch the Bears now. Might be the best division of football.
That's my opinion, Santino. In terms of record, I think they are the best division of football.
I think that's right. Them, Minnesota, Lions, and Green Bay, all of them are good.
Yeah. Yeah, NFC North.
I mean, is there anybody else that's even close? I thought the AFC East was going to be good this year. They suck again.
Every time I think the AFC – I thought they were going to be great last year. It's like the Bills are even struggling now.
All of a sudden, they beat the brakes off of Jacksonville. And now the last two weeks, they've kind of calmed down.
Jacksonville found a way to get a dub. Dougie P down there.
They did. They got their first win.
Sometimes you just got to get back on the tracks, baby. That's right.
That's right. Yeah.
And Joe Flacco reached a top speed at 18.76 miles per hour. He was moving.
Moving. Yeah.
The big man still got the stride. Yes, he does.
He's got long legs. Yeah.
He's got some new shoes. I saw him on Pat McAfee.
He said he's got like coconut something or something. What the fuck they say about his shoes? Brandon, can you get this? I'm looking.

This is weird.

I don't know.

Yeah.

Well, he also threw for 350 yards and three touchdowns.

That's probably better than the 18-mile-per-hour run.

Yeah.

I think the more impressive one, though, is the 18-mile-per-hour run because I just don't know too many 39-year-olds that can do that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Not just 39, but 39-year-olds that were not known for running previously.

He's never been known for being a runner.

No.

Alec Pierce, former Bearcat, had a lot of those receiving yards. How about it, huh?

Bearcat's just making plays all weekend.

Yeah.

All weekend.

While the Bearcats were on a bye, coming back, baby.

Yeah, so it's good that the NFL offenses aren't dead

because that makes for exciting games. Definitely happy to see the production getting back up there.
Speaking of getting up there, let's get to the Giants doing something that a lot of people have never seen before. This is all over social media.
Giants, in their win over the Seahawks, 29-20, score a late minute fumble, a block kick for a touchdown.

The Giants jump over or jump through the A-gap. Yeah.
19. Who's 19? Do you know 19? Isaiah Simmons.
Isaiah Simmons. Yeah.
Ball plays athletic as hell. Yeah.
Jumps through the A-gap. A lot of people didn't know you could jump.
You can jump in the NFL. It is a legal thing to jump.
You're allowed to jump. You just can't land on anybody or use yourself to propel upwards off of somebody, but you can indeed jump on an NFL field.
Noted. Randy Moss made a career out of it.
They also didn't know that you couldn't hold people down, which that is a little bit of a gray area. 100%.
It's like there's one thing about yanking someone down. You can't like grab and pull the person forward that's definitely against the rules i've seen that call that's holding but if you are just if you're just assisting somebody who's already going in a way in other words to in order for you to not get your ass kicked on field goal you need to be as low as as possible.
So every line, what they do is they get as low as possible and then rise on contact. So what the Giants did here is they just put their hands on the O-lineman when they already went low themselves.
So that's not holding. They just assisted them in going low.
Assisted, nice. Assisted.
And then Simmons jumps out through the A-gap a gap great timing one of the reasons you don't see this done as much it's because it's near impossible for the jumper to time it that perfect to be able to jump not touch any of the o-linemen get through those two guys to get the hold or the assist on the o-line down and then to then land and then re-jump. There's a million things that have to go right for this to get pulled off.
Is there a world where they call this a penalty, and it's like, yeah, you can't do that? Like in the future? No, just like on this play. Yeah, refs make mistakes all the time.
Oh, so you think it was completely like, there's no like gray, like, oh, it could have went either way.

It just depends on like how they say there's a hold on every play.

I don't think that this is illegal in any way.

Okay.

Personally.

Keep this thing moving.

Max Crosby shit talks.

The tat man.

What?

What?

He's got a lot of tattoos.

It's a tat man.

Oh, he is.

He is. He is tatted.
Max crosby shit talk uh caught on broadcast how about it screaming bo nicks speak up they don't fucking know while bo nicks was audible-ing um on a third and four in the second quarter and um i love a good shit talk i do is this just good coaching because it did kind of like at first, like everybody was waiting on to figure out what was going on. What do you mean? On the Denver side.
What do you mean? It's a good coaching for Max is coaching them up. Max is on coaching.
Yeah. It's good shit talking.
I mean, I think he's just observationally seeing that the old line is like, what, what are we doing? There is some funny stuff that happens in the trenches like there is confusion sometimes and sometimes like you just say exactly what's happening and you get this back and forth every once in a while like he's like just pull there are moments where it's like you don't have time like you can't say like, Chico, Chico, what was

that? Chico, what? Pull, damn it! Just in the fucking crossbar. There was one, you know the radar defense when they're like moving around and you don't know where the down guys are or anything? He was up there, the clock was moving.
He's like, just block him! I just...

I just...

I just...

I just...

I just...

I just... the clock was moving he's like just block him dude there will be sometimes i just had just rambles up like he just spits it out because the we're losing time on the clock yeah and i'm just like what was that what i can't hear and i'm like all i hear is like the formation i'm like walking up it's like what the fuck play is this and he'll just tell me what it is and then i'll look at the guy't hear.
And I'm like, all I hear is like the formation. I'm like walking up.
I was like, what the fuck play is this?

And he'll just tell me what it is.

And then I'll look at the guy that's guarding me.

I'm like, what do I do?

Don't just fucking tell them.

There'll be sometimes you're like playing a team that you play a lot and you're trying

to mess with them.

I like where the slides go.

So I'd be like this.

I'd be like, rip, rip, rip.

And he's like, what?

He's like, rip.

God damn it.

Now everybody knows you ruined it oh man locker room media policy let's get to the real important stuff and more important news around the league the nflpa has put out a statement about something that they shouldn't be worried about at all the nflpa has put out a statement about moving media interviews out of the locker rooms. And a lot of players have since spoken up about this.
It's been something that guys have talked about for a long time. For those of you that don't know, after games or practices, there is a period of time that the locker room is open for media members to go in and talk to players, interview them, ask, you know, what game you know what's going on this week whatever stories are writing and there's no and to that that is meat watch i don't think that that's why they're in there this is what is being alleged this is yeah this is what i mean this is what is being alleged i suppose that there's probably been a few Peters gazed over the years.
Here's the statement the NFLPA has issued. Torrey Smith tweeted at my good friend Torrey Smith, former teammate, Super Bowl champion.
Torrey. Way to speak up for the league, man.
Torrey Smith, if only y'all knew how awkward some of the male reporters act. Straight meat watchers.
I'm not going to lie. It is a little weird that people are in there, but don't mind i never minded it you never mind them i listen somebody wants my my dick my dick is low on the totem pole i'm not impressing anybody or doing anything if you want to look at it go for it be my guest they got nothing it's not going to impress you it's going to be it's going to make and babies, man.
That's what it's going to do. It's efficient.
It gets the job done. Especially making girls.
But it's not. I don't know.
I've never cared. I've never thought about it.
And I've never noticed anybody staring at it. We've been in locker rooms our entire lives.
So it's like. I still remember going into the YMCA in Cleveland Heights and seeing an old man's balls dragged along a sauna.
I didn't know that we were all of a sudden.

Which is risky in two ways, man.

You can splinter those things.

Yeah.

I remember it being visually.

And you can sear those things, man.

I was a meat gig.

It's a sauna.

You know how hard it is not to look at an old man's balls in a sauna?

You can't not look at those.

And there's nothing sexual about it, Torrey. It's like, how the hell are those things hanging that low? He's got a point.
Tori, man, I think this was an absolutely hilarious statement. And you know, Twitter, Twitter, you can just have some fun on there.
Yeah, Kyle Yushek also went out there on Twitter. He said, maybe can keep Grant Khan, I think that's how you pronounce this guy's name, sorry Grant for this, from always hanging out around lockers while we're changing.
So he directly not only is calling out the collective group of porters, but Grant is catching strays here. Apparently he has been known to.

Shout out to Juice, man.

I do think.

I don't think this is the problem that it's being made out to be.

It's so funny.

I really honestly think guys just don't want to be interviewed in the locker room.

And a lot of people are crying wolf right now to just try and get the reporters out of locker room hey listen man it sounds like everybody's having fun with it man i don't yeah i'm just like i don't i don't think this is a big deal i never had an issue with it i think it's like it's so easy to just not show your dick to everybody like put a towel on or go into the bathroom that they aren't in like they're not in the showers like hey i have to catch that ball like you can definitely not show your dick if you don't want to guys it's not mandatory that your dick's out while you're talking to these people i think it's actually encouraged excuse me lower your pants please i need to do my interview now what are we talking about I don't know what the problem is no i've never had a problem with it but i think uh i think it's actually encouraged by the nfl to be clothed i don't think they encourage you to be naked can you please show me that tush push uh reach down and touch your toes real quick i want to see what this looks like if you're self-conscious there's definitely a way to not have your genitals out.

Breaking NFL news, the Jets announced

they have parted ways with the head coach, Robert Sala,

because he was the issue.

After five games this season and a 2-3 record,

the much maligned Jets offense struggling,

and they fire their defensive coach. Jets, Jake, can we get your thoughts? I'm here.
I'm in the house. You are here.
Nice. You are our expert in the New York Jets comings and goings.
What are your thoughts on the departure of head coach Robert Sala? Yeah, I mean, everything's going great. This seems like a well-run organization, nothing going wrong.
It's crazy. I mean, every year I get my hopes up and every year, five weeks into the season, I'm in the same damn place.
Yes. Are you familiar with the definition of insanity? I've heard this once or twice I love this team

there's nothing I can do

maybe hiring a defensive head coach

forcing him to pick a quarterback you didn't want

forcing him to fire the offensive coordinator then hiring a different offensive coordinator he didn't want then firing him because the offense sucked might not be a good idea just my take i'm dumb i don't know football but that's my thought well you're right in everything you just said what is the what do think should be the next head coach of the New York Jets? Alright, so I got one name. I'm going to fix the organization.
You guys are going to love it. He's a Northeast Ohio boy.
Go get Mike Vrabel. Call Mike Vrabel today.
Get him in the building. That guy can run a program.
Listen, I don't hate that. I will right now.
Just don't do it next year or something. Yeah, not right now.
I don't know that anybody's taking that job this year. It doesn't feel like any – it doesn't matter who they hire as the head coach.
The head coach is Aaron Rodgers. I don't even know why they're not even just naming him the head coach.
I just want to see a player coach. I do too, man.
I kind of want to see it too. I just want to see it.
Just make Aaron the head coach. Just do it.
You know you want to do it. Everybody wants to see it.
What if he just fucking leads him to the promised land? It would be. That would be fucking awesome.
Shut up, Jake. That's why you're upstairs.
Do you have any other thoughts from around the league you want to share while you have your moment here? Judge Jake? This nook is really sweet. This is a good setup you got here.
Yeah, we don't need that kind of comment. I was asking about NFL takes.
But thank you, Jake. Well, I don't have those.
Thanks, guys. And lastly, it's time for the segment we debuted last week.
Coach quote of the week. That's a good segment.
A little context for this quote. During the Broncos Raiders game, cameras caught Bo Nix and Sean Payton going at it on the sideline.
Yeah, I think we can tell from body language. Sometimes coaches like this.
Howard Mudd used to purposely get guys riled up just to see if they would like tell them you're wrong, coach. He'd play mind games like that.
Yeah. Which I think is kind of fucked up, but I respect it.
I mean, we want to talk about the best to do it ever. Tom Brady used to fucking get pissed on the sideline.
Yeah. Show some aggression.
Listen, I don't have a problem with showing emotion. It seems like Sean Payton doesn't have a problem with it either.
Post-game, Sean Payton asked about this moment, said, there's still a little bit of Ferris Bueller in this player that we're trying to get rid of. Hold on.
What does that mean? I fucking love Ferris. I got a little Ferueller i mean what's wrong with that you should ever get rid of ferris bueller what's wrong with skipping school yeah skipping school and stealing cars what's wrong with that if bo nix is ferris does that make sean payton uh the principal the principal yeah what's uh what's his name rooney principal rooney thank you brandon yeah does that make champagne because principal rooney's the bad guy in the movie yeah i don't i don't if you watch that movie ferris bueller's the good guy yeah he's who you're rooting for yeah ferris bueller's the coolest fucking character in pretty much any movie i've ever seen keep fighting authority authority figures suck principal Rooney sucks.
Keep being you.

You're the good guy in this.

Don't forget.

Everybody loves Ferris Bielber.

Nobody likes Principal Rooney.

But also have a good relationship with your coach.

Also listen to Sean Payton.

He's been a really good coach for a long time.

Oh, and then one last quote.

Cowboys beat the Steelers on a last second Dak touchdown to Jalen Tolbert.

Good play right there. Good play to end the game.

Here is Smith on the game-winning touchdown pass from Dak Prescott to Jalen Tolbert. Good play right there.
Good play to end again. Here is Smith on the game-winning touchdown pass from Dak Prescott to Jalen Tolbert.
Bro, it was miraculous. JT literally sprained his fucking nuts.
Excuse me. Sorry, guys.
Sprained his nuts the play before. So good.
Then comes back, makes the game winner unbelievable. I love that he thought saying fucking was the worst part of this statement.
Dude, swear jar. Sorry, guys.
Sorry, I forgot about what I was supposed to say. He's spraying his nuts.
What does that even mean? Can you sprain your nuts? I think, I don't know. I know.
You know what you can do? I've never heard of that one. You know what you can do? You can twist your nuts.
You can twist your nuts? Testicular torsion. Yeah.
You can also-

Which, by the way, is a hospitable, like, I'll never forget, Center for Cleveland Heights.

Heights.

And he had to go to the emergency room.

This is back when it was-

You can die.

That's how important testicles are, kids.

Which is why, if you see an old man in a sauna, do not twist them things, because they are very twistable.

They were droopy? They're some sadable. They were droopy.

They're some sad nuts.

Down low.

They have seen a lot of gravity through the years.

And they are prone

to the torsion. That skin got a little loose

as he got older.

One would only assume they were not fresh

out looking like that.

Thank you, Tyler Smith, for cleaning up that quote

and making it safe for the

kids watching.

Kids, watch your nuts. That does it for week

Thank you, Tyler Smith, for cleaning up that quote and making it safe for the kids watching. Kids watch your nuts.
That does it for week five roundup. Let's get to some no dumb questions.
Before we get out of here, let's wrap up the show with some no dumb questions because there's no such thing as dumb questions, just dumb people. No dumb questions is brought to you by the powerful backing of American Express.
What was the bit that we did about American Express? Don't steal home without it. That's right.
Don't steal home without it. Shout out to the guards, baby.
Let's go, man. From Lacey Amos.
Hey, New Heights Show. What's the story with the T-Kelsey T-Rex logo on the inside of his gloves? Well, Travis, I would like to know this question and answer as well.
Yeah. Well, the gloves are custom from Nike.
From Nike? Yeah, from Nike. And they asked me if I wanted to throw a logo in there.
And I guess when I was a kid, you say it best when you say you don't choose your own nicknames. I was given the nickname T-Rex when I played low post basketball when I was like 10 years old.
Okay. Why were you nicknamed T-Rex? That's a good question.
I think T for Travis and T-Rex was kind of like a mind frame, like a mindset. It sounds like a little kid.
Yeah. Or it was because I was just like fat with short arms.
Why have I never heard this before? I don't know. It was that and Traveling Trav.
Have you heard Traveling Trav? I did not not hear traveling trab. That's not a nickname you want.
And it's not because I was traveling all over the world. It was because I did not want to put that basketball on the floor.
It was not because I was Carmen Sandiego. It was.
It was because I did not like to dribble. I wasn't a dribbler at all.
Who does? I don't know. Yeah.
You and LeBron James. Well, I mean, back in the day, it was traveling.

Nowadays, I would have – honestly, I could probably have made it to the NBA.

You know what?

I used to think there was no chance in hell. But the more I see how close in height you are to some of these guys –

You think height is the –

I thought that was the –

Height isn't the difference.

Dude, Steph Curry is an outlier.

Just because he can shoot like threes from midcourt,

height is a big deal on whether he can make it to the NBA.

I think you legitimately might have had a chance to do it. I don't think I would have been an NBA superstar and all-star or anything, but I think I could have made a team.
I think you might have been, especially with them lateral moves. That helps you on the basketball court more than it does the NFL court.
Listen, fast break. You want me on the fast break.
Unless you have to travel. No, no, no.
I'm going to get the rebound and start the fast break. Got it.
Where I traveled was like on the wing trying to kick off. Fuck.
I love that maneuver. All right.
Well, there you go, Lacey Amos. Next note of question.
It's a childhood nickname that I like to really embrace the mentality of a T-Rex on the field.

I think that's where I was going with.

T-Rex.

T-Rex on a field.

I think you're the exact opposite of a T-Rex.

Yeah. T-Rex, bad vision.

Yeah.

Although they see objects that move.

So maybe when you saw a piran move and then you're like, oh, T-Rex.

You don't have short arms either.

I don't get that.

Your arms are long.

Yeah.

I think it was just- At least average for your height. I think it was just a nickname from when I was younger.
Next no-dumb question. Joe Cunningham, 1937.
No-dumb question. What happened to the shout outs? Nobody is taking their game to New Heights this year.
Bummer. Very passive aggressive there from you, Joe.
Yeah. You want to bring it back? I guess, well, Joe wants it back.
All right. You got a shout out? You got a New Heights? Stamp of the week.
You got a stamper? I'll give Alec Pierce some love. He almost single-handedly, along with Joe Flacco, had the Colts come back this week.
They didn't quite get it done, but he had some long catches late. He's been having a good year.
Alec Pierce has been having a real good year. He's been having a good career so far.
He's been doing his thing over there in Indy. There we go.
All right now. Who are you going with? Who am I going with? Yeah.
I'll give my stance to my guy, Juju Smith-Schuster. Hey, that's a good one.
Niner, man. He's out there balling right now.
He is. He is.
He's a heck of a welcome back into the starting lineup. Yes, sir.
And that does it for No Dumb Questions, brought to you by the powerful backing of American Express. Yes, sir.
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of women and mobile pants.

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and thank you to the 92 Percenters.

We will see you later oh nice little boulevard wheat shout out to creed humphrey oh come on who taught him this and why go go go go go go go go go go go go, go, go, go, go, go. That's a pretty good party trick.
It's physics. Come on, get off.
Get up off that palm. I don't have to.
Shout out to Boulevard Wheat, though. That is one of my favorite blondies.
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