Andrew Santino on Caleb Williams Draft, John Cena Down Under & Jason's Stand-Up Future | Ep 87

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You set up your Wi-Fi in your garage? That's where the attachment point is. But you could have said, put it somewhere else.
I just haven't changed it yet. That's such an Ed Kelsey move.
I'll get around to it. It's like that second floor bathroom.
That's still not done? We had to watch Dad take shits with his newspaper because he took the door off the hinges like somebody bought a second floor bathroom in cleveland heights that a 12 year old soldered the pipes 90 sure i didn't know how to solder this is so good like why the fuck is the pipes jacked up up here on the second floor every week something's wrong with with that bathroom. What could be the problem? It's like a 12-year-old soldered this thing together.
Welcome back to New Heights, ladies and gentlemen, presented by Wave Sports and Entertainment. We are your hosts.
I'm Travis Kelsey. This is my big brother, Jason Kelsey, out of Cleveland Heights, Ohio.
New episodes come to you guys every Wednesday. Subscribe on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts.
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We've got a very, very special episode for you guys today. Jason, why don't you do the honors and let the people know what they got coming up.

That's right. We got an amazing

episode for you 92 Percenters.

We got the one and only

stand-up comedian,

actor, and podcaster out of

Naperville North High School.

You might know him from his stand-up

hit specials, Home Field

Advantage and Cheeseburger, or his acting

roles on Dave, I'm Dying Up Here and Ricky Stenicki. He is also the host of hit podcast, hit specials, Home Field Advantage and Cheeseburger, or his acting roles on Dave, I'm Dying Up Here,

and Ricky Stenicki.

He is also the host of hit podcast,

Whiskey Ginger, and Bad Friends with Bobby Lee.

And he finally stopped dodging our calls

and agreed to stop by on our podcast this week.

Please, everyone, welcome Andrew Chito Santino!

Woo!

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Woo!

Woo! Thank you. Chito Centino! You! You! Hell yeah! My motherfucking dog.
The B-dubs intro, great, man. Dude, you were right on cue.
Let's go. You were right on cue.
Didn't even miss a beat. We should go right after this.
Can I say the first time I met Jay, by the way, can I say this real fast? Yeah. That just burned into my memory when you were like, yeah, my brother's going to be there.
You're going to meet my brother. And it was at your house.

And we're partying.

We're hanging out in the basement.

We're kicking it, having a great night.

And I wanted to go upstairs to go make a phone call.

So I wasn't near the noise.

And I see you.

Jason was outside.

It was snowing.

And he was laying outside on one of your deck chairs, sleeping in the snow as it was snowing,

in a t-shirt and shorts, sleeping in the snow.

And I was like, hey, brother, you good?

And he was like, nah, nah, like that.

And I go downstairs, I go, Trav, your brother is sleeping in the snow.

And he goes, oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

That's where he belongs.

It's like, no big deal. He's like, yeah, leave him alone.
Leave the bear alone. That's what you said.
Leave the bear alone, man. Don't wake the bear.
Whatever you do, don't wake the bear right now. You were passed out in the snow, but you were just catching a break from the party.
You just wanted to break off, cool off a little bit. I was overheating.
He was overheating. It was snowing.
It was snowing. Pouring snow.
He was heating up too much. I had to go back in the in the bears elements get in here and mini hibernation that was a great intro to you though i was like i know exactly who he is now i get it he leaves the party to sit in the snow i get it you had to regroup man that's how that's how us kelsey's regroup just take a step outside and just fall asleep i do love that oh goodness dude i'm sorry we had to call you out with uh dave dave I don't know if you caught that we had some fun with it but I mean it worked yeah I got tagged I got tagged through Dave you had my old boy on the show he did a good job I listened and also him being a Philly guy I know he was amped to come see you guys and kiss the ring a little bit he was pumped it was so cool having him having him on here.
I really enjoyed that. One of the best conversations we've had.
I have a bunch about him. Some I can't even share, but off camera.
That's the best. Yeah.
Those are the best. Well, before we get going, we talked about this on last week's show.
Jason wants to know about the meaning of your nickname, Cheeto. So it originated, people call me Cheeto Santino.
Cheeto, I hear more often than anything now. I'm bad with timelines, but I think like 15 or 16 years ago, I moved to LA in 06, at the end of 06.
And then I was playing basketball. I would play like these pickup games.
We go to like these elementary schools, which always is great on the weekends, or go to like these local spots in Culver City that were pretty nasty at the time.

It was great, great pickup ball.

But I played with a bunch of guys,

a couple of guys from the east side,

some Mexican dudes from East LA.

Boyle Heights, shout out Boyle Heights.

Shout out Boyle.

Boyle Heights.

One day, this kid Pavi was looking down at my legs

when we were done,

and I had short shorts on like way above the knee.

Old school, you know what I mean? Oh yeah. Old school gym teacher style, yeah teacher style yeah in my bird era yeah in my bird era you got to be able to move I want to pivot quick you know and he looked down and he's like damn dog I never really like seen your legs up close and I was like what do you mean he's like it's like it looks like you ate a bag of Cheetos and then you rubbed Cheeto dust like over your legs from your fingers.
They look like Cheetos, dog. Like for real.
And everybody was losing it. And then at first I was annoyed and embarrassed.
And then when I looked down, I was like, yeah, they do look like Cheetos. They do look like Cheetos.
So Cheeto went born from that. And then it just, I embraced it and then it stuck.
Then it just kind of traveled with me and I liked it then I turned my social into all that and then but it never left it was funny at first I was annoyed and then I thought now you gotta walk if you don't walk into this it's worse oh this I'm you already know I'm on board with that if you don't walk into it they're gonna cook you even harder it's gonna get you way worse yeah absolutely that's that's playground mentality 101 yeah embrace, embrace it. That's Playground Mentality 101.

And I just love that both you and Travis got your nicknames from playing pick up ball.

Yeah, pick up ball, baby.

Mine was the Big Yeti.

That's how Travis got the Big Yeti.

He ran from it for a little bit.

He's embraced it now.

You can't run away from that, dude.

No way.

Embrace it.

Dude, it's just a fucking sweater vest. It's just a jersey.
right it's just a jersey and i gotta own it i have uh we said skins exactly oh sorry i'll make sure i shave next time speaking of sweater vest travis the only guy that i know that'll play golf when it's like 94 in a multi-layered shirt with a vest dude it's insane you insane. You are the only dude I know that can do that.

And he wasn't sweating at all.

I was drenched.

Underneath I was...

Sticky?

Yeah.

It was a little sticky?

It was real hot.

I don't know how you do that.

You just had to be like multiple days of like drinking Bender.

So you're just so dehydrated.

There's no sweat to come out of the pores.

Yeah, nothing can come out.

That is true.

And that was definitely...

Yep.

Definitely where we were at. Yep.
Every time. A little liver pain.
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Restrictions apply. Let's get to Vegas, though, man.
You just wrapped up Bad Friends in Vegas? Yeah, we did. Fucking awesome, awesome me and bobby lee were touring our podcast bad friends live show my boy legend we're done i think we did 50 the the number is off but we've been touring for just over a year just a calendar year passed a couple weeks ago and vegas was our last show 50 some odd shows it was been an incredible run man it was it was just it was insane we had a proposal we had a proposal on stage hell yeah a guy proposed i mean that was actually our fourth proposal of the tour but this guy proposed to you he proposed to his wife but oh all right i would have taken it well his his soon-to-be wife i was thinking that bobby was gonna propose that's what bobby would propose to me but i don't know if i could be married to him i don't i just don't know i could hook up he'd be a fun hookup you know and in uh fuck mary kill he would he would be just fuck not mary sometimes kill yeah yeah no but yeah uh we finished a long tour probably fuck then kill yeah fuck then kill but you know if it's bobby on the show he'd be like, kill then fuck.
Yeah, that's what he would say. He's a lunatic.
Yeah, the tour was incredible, man. It was so fun.
It was like, you know, not to be corny, but seeing the fans, connecting with the fans on that level, it brings you a new level of appreciation. I know you guys feel it in sports.
It's just so wild, these live events. There's something that happens when you get to see their faces and feel their energy.
It's, I don't know, it's unbelievable. And for people to tell you things like, dude, you make my work commute so much easier, or dude, I'm going through a divorce or dude, I'm going through a breakup or, you know, something tragic happened.
I lost my mom. I lost.
And when they tell you that you're the thing that gives them a little bit of peace during the week and happiness and it does, it really truly does do something to you. I don my mom.
And when they tell you that, you're the thing that gives them a little bit of peace during the week and happiness.

It really truly does do something to you. I don't know what it is, but you're like, man, it's totally worth it to change people's shitty day.
I mean, it's awesome. It's great.
I'd love to hear that, man. I'm glad you're in it for the right reasons, too, because that's how you know you do this shit for the right reasons, man.
Yeah, I want to make...

My only goal when I was a kid was like,

I wanted to be a professional comedic personality i wanted to be an actor and a stand-up and i didn't know if either of them would even work and all i wanted to do was make people laugh i wanted to make people laugh and feel good because the world is dark and weird and i was like how I break this up and get, make a living having fun and making people

kind of forget about all the, you know, nonsense of the world.

And we did it.

Look at us.

Look at us.

We did it, baby.

Come on, boy.

We're here.

We're doing it.

We're doing it.

What did, did you have anybody looking up to or that you were young that you looked

up to?

Like, what were the comedic people that you thought like, man, that guy's when i was a kid where i want to be it's a it's a you know my first answer is so like i mean eddie murphy was like i don't i mean you know it was everyone will say that most likely in my generation you know i'm 40 the 90s eddie murphy yeah it was just he was unbelievable he was everything to me and yeah Jim Carrey I would say was like from the acting side was my guy you know like that I wanted to emulate or be like um even though he was a stand-up but I as a kid I only knew him as an actor I was too young to know him as a stand-up but Eddie was that guy to me that was like so wild and free and uh yeah I wanted to I wanted to have that energy I knew I could never be that but I was like whatever that is I love that yeah because he's having he was he always looked like he was having fun yeah which that turned me on the most that stand-ups that look like they were also having fun was like kind of what I wanted it like they were in with you on it you know hell yeah and you know that's kind of what turned on the most most but yeah him and jim carrey i think were the two dudes that i was like god i want to be that so bad i want to be that kind of have that energy with people and have that influence in comedy brother you definitely thank you bro i'm trying um i remember the first time i saw you live and it was in kansas city at the ample theater that's right um and uh it was uh it was when you were on tour with Rogan, right? With Rogan, yeah. Oh, that's me calling you probably.
Hello? Travis Chan P. Are you kidding me? Is it? We should pick it up, Rofi.
Pick it up. Pick it up.
Pick it up. Hey, Chandler.
I'm sitting here on the podcast with Chito Santino right now. Oh, you're with that little stick of big red gum? What's up, CP? So spicy.
You already know. We were just about to get into how you won the tournament this weekend.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's talk about it.
How many strokes I got? Whatever else. You did.
You did get too many strokes. You got like nine.
No, I got five. I got five.
Five aside. You went in with – what'd you go in with? I played as a fucking 12.
It's not my fault. Santino thinks he's a scratch.
He gives me five a side. You should see this guy swing.
It's unbelievable. Oh, it's magical.
It's as if there's like a hinge point at all parts of his body and it's like snapping into place as he goes back. It's like doing the robot as he's swinging the club.
Not only did I get the championships, it's, you know, I got most of the approved player too, so eat dicks. All right, love you, buddy.
I'm going to hit you as soon as I get out of here. Yeah.
One of the greatest. Chan P.
Fuck yeah. Damn, I forgot what we were talking about.
Oh, me and when I was opening for Rogan and KC. Oh, dude.
Yeah. But I can attest for you being able to give that energy and that feeling.
I had Mahomes join me. This was like a training camp getaway.
It was like a one day just happened to be on the off day at training camp out in KC. And me and Mahomes were like, let's fucking go and do it.
We got front row seats to see you just absolutely rip it, dude. fun it was so fucking fun you did the one waffle joke oh yeah I still fucking well it's wild is because Rogan you know like Joe I was at the time I was touring that's five years ago or how many years ago it's got to be at least maybe six or seven yeah and I was touring with Rogan and Joe loves MMA you know he loves he loves everything in the martial art world, but you know, traditional sports, not, he does, he's cool with, but it's not like his thing.
So I was amped. I was like, dude, the Kansas city chiefs are like coming to see us.
Like we're going to, I'm going to, I linked up with these guys. They're coming to see us.
And he was like, uh, Oh cool. Which team are they? I was like the football team.
And he was like, all right, word. Cool.
I mean, like didn't it just doesn't mean anything to him i was amped because like they're coming to see us dude the boy we're in their time we're in their city this is perfect timing and then after that i was in dallas and pat came out um with the crew with the crew to come see me in dallas and then after that you know start you know tour has been going on and oh man life has changed for the better. It's been amazing, man.
Dude, I remember that show forever, man. You absolutely killed it.
It was so fun. That amphitheater is beautiful in KC.
You had everybody fucking fired up. And shout out to Philly.
We love Philly. I said that before the show, but every time I play Philly, we get so much love.
We were in the Met last year. Beautiful, beautiful theater, man.
It was unbelievable. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah man sometimes i'm shocked that they

let us into those theaters i'm like we're telling dick jokes inside of like an ornately designed beautiful theater i'm like this is so inappropriate for how gorgeous this thing is it was constructed with such care you know what i mean like some dude carving the ceiling he's like one day a ginger man will tell a disgusting penis joke in this very room it's ridiculous

and it will erupt

and the laughs will sound so lovely and they will bounce off these beautiful walls they will project perfectly right to this specific point yeah it's been a it's been amazing and now i'm touring around doing uh getting ready for my hour i'm gonna shoot another hour in a bit, but I'm getting the hour honed in and all that. So I'm touring around doing uh getting ready for my hour I'm gonna shoot another hour in a in a bit but I'm getting the hour like honed in and all that so I'm touring again that's awesome man yeah man I'm excited just yet your last your dude the last cheeseburger was a fucking banger thank you yeah cheeseburger on Netflix that was a it was so much fun man that was like what a fun thing to do I shot that in Denver and that's the same thing we like coin up an hour over a couple years and you peel it apart and some guys you know like some guys back in the day would do two or three years then for like chapelle and louis it was like every year and now people are back to a couple years to kind of like pace it out i think yeah for a minute those guys were like competing over like who could do it who could do it who could do it and then the younger guys we were like well i'll chill out a little bit i'm good i need to break myself you know i love how you brought it full circle with the uh the cheeseburger though oh yeah yeah you just want to be enjoyed i just want to be enjoyed i named that cheeseburger because i just it was a real conversation i had with my wife about having like a you know a tough time mentally which we all go through yeah i was like i just want to be a cheeseburger i just want people to enjoy me right now while they have me i did i didn't i don't need some you know i don't i don't need some great stamp by the world i just want you to like have fun right now because life should be to me living right now i it's tough to live for any other time so that's what that whole thing was about you know it's like just have fun right now this you have no no idea when it's going to go or, you know, how you go.
So you can't be looking so far in the future. The whole thing was when you eat a cheeseburger, you're just enjoying it now.
You're not thinking about anything other than that. Yeah.
So I don't want the trophies or the statues, especially if the statue looks like Alan Iverson's statue. The statues can go one way or the other, man.
Some of them are so good. Some of them you're like, all right, all right.
They love you. They love you.
I mean, like if they made a statue of you guys, I mean, don't you want pre-approval? Doesn't that, don't you want to go, can I take a look at the drawings? It's like getting a tattoo without them putting the stencil on. I'm always like, freehand? Are we freehand the

statue? You're going to freehand the

statue? I think we should lay it out first.

We don't have a machine that can make this

way more. We can 3D print.

Yeah. Well, like Jordan's statue,

when they put that up outside the United

Center, I remember that was like mixed reviews

because I'm from Chicago and that was like

some people loved it, some people didn't like it, but

they're never going to look that much like you. Do you know what I mean like it'll be close but it can't be what so don't expect anything yeah yeah so jason don't i kind of prefer don't expect your statue to look anything like you out there yeah no if they ever do i hope it looks much better looking but shout out to alan iverson you know he's the man but it was a strange statue let's be real it was it was like a mini me version it was a little wild you were just about to talk about you're you're building out a new special you're getting ready to do another hour right what what's that process like how long are these jokes i mean being tested out before you've figured out what that run a show looks like yeah so it's you know everyone has a different process there is no yeah there is no like we all do this but uniform not at all some guys you know i'm doing a club run you know and then i'm gonna go play theaters when it's when it's really cooked but right now i'm doing clubs um to do four shows two sat two friday two saturday sometimes i'll do six depending on the city like dallas i sold sold out six quickly because Dallas is great for I like I mean that city I always do well in and I like the club a lot so I was like I'll just do that but I like to just peel it out and it'll it takes me you know this this will have been almost a year um and I'm I have the hour that I think I want to present and then I'll go to the club and kind of start to puzzle piece it together in terms of like, this should go here.
I want this here and then slowly stack it, uh, listen to my setback, write it down, you know, and go back and forth and then change it the next night. And the next night, maybe go back to the first one and see how it, how my timing works and see how it, uh, yeah, it's weird.
And there's no, there's no one way truly like i have friends that do it um that you know like shane gillis is a is a good homie and like he's doing it on tour now beautiful because he just yeah beautiful dog's such a good special and he's doing it now on his new tour in theaters peeling in the new stuff that he's got and then also doing a set that he already knows he has so everyone has a different process but for, I'm just going to do a club run and then I'm going to do theaters probably in the fall to get ready, ready to record. Maybe I think December or January, I'll record it.
You think you'll go back to the hometown? I don't know where I'm going to record this one, man. That's so funny.
They asked me, I'm actually doing it with, I feel like I can say this, I'm doing it with Omaha Productions with Man, nice. With Manning.
Yeah, yeah. Always over in Omaha.
Yeah, the big dog. So we have a meeting coming up about where we want to shoot it, and I'm still lost in the sauce.
I don't know. I just can't.
I haven't pinpointed where I want to do it, but I do think it's going to be in the Midwest. I will say that.
I'm almost positive it's going to be in the Midwest yeah midwest guys keep it home yeah baby keep it back home uh back to that process do you enjoy working the clubs trying new material in that like smaller intimate vibe more or do you like the the big produced big show stadium vibe big shows are good when you're when you have the thing to give them you know it's almost like um i don't know if you're like if you know when the kids put on like a show during the holidays for the adults well you know like when it when the kids are like all right we're gonna you guys want to watch us perform the thing it's like that's that's what it feels like when we go do theaters that you're like i want to show them i want to show mom and dad the thing now i we were you know we were in the cousin's room we were and the song and the thing. That's what it feels like.
And the clubs feel like to warm up. I mean, it's still, it's not like that's less of a show.
It's just way more intimate and loose and kind of, you know, it's kind of more fun. It's kind of like when you're drunk making a meal, when you're like, ah, we'll see if this works.
We'll see if this works. How does that taste? And then, you know, and then the theaters are more like a sit-down dinner where you're like, this is prepared.
It's tight. It's more concise.
You know, for me, again, but that's everyone's so different. But that's how I'd like to do it.
Hell yeah. Do you, you talked about doing the tour this past set of shows.
You guys talked about going on a bus. Oh my God.
Did you guys end up doing bus yeah we did the tour bus we did it for the first half and then that was it i gotta tell you that was it they were like do you want the bus for the second half i was like no i think we're gonna fly i think we're gonna fly we know there's no everyone knows the rule of tour buses there's no pooping on the That is a fact. It's been that way since the 70s.
Who abused that? Bobby. Bobby Lee.
Bobby Lee clearly was the first one to poop on the bus. I wish Vegas had a money line on it.
I would have bet so big. Hammered that line.
Yeah. I mean, but the bus driver we had, this dude, he was so funny, man.
He was so wild. And he's like, I'm just going to be real with you.
If y'all'all poop on the bus y'all are gonna be smelling it for a long time and i was like let's not poop on the bus please of course yeah bobby pooped on the bus without a doubt he's like we couldn't stop it was two in the morning he wasn't gonna pull over blah all these excuses which i know wasn't true i know he pooped in the afternoon and he just lied to me yeah it was it was 2 p.m not 2 a.m he was just switching his head but the bus the bus life is crazy because you live in these coffins you know which actually are more comfortable than you think they call them these coffins they're like bunks yeah they're not that bad you feel kind of like uh snuggled like burritoed in a little bit. Interesting.
I slept in the back for a bunch of it. And there was like a bedroom back there, but small.
And I hated it. The bunks are a little bit nicer because there's a dump bunk where you put all your stuff in.
And then you sleep in those little, they're little comfort, you know, little like tiny comforting sleeping bags on my. Just little nooks.
Little nooks. And then you can put your iPad up.
They've got these clips so you could put your ipad on the ceiling and watch tv shows and movies yeah it's actually kind of nice they have little speakers and fans and it's kind of cool it's kind of a little getaway but the worst part is doing a show doing the meet and greets and all that stuff you got to eat fast pack up and get on the bus immediately because you have to drive to the next city so you're sleeping through the night and then you're waking up in Oklahoma. Then you're waking up in KC.
Then you're waking up in Indianapolis. So that's a little tough on your body clock.
It stinks. You got to wake up.
I would try to get a workout in, then go to lunch, write and organize, do sound check. And then you're at the venue.
So there's not a ton of like kick at time. It's kind of tough.
It's a little tough for you. That's why the planes are so much easier.
It's more expensive to jump the whole crew on a plane and go, go, go. But it's worth it, man, because the buses are tough.
They're tough. It's tough, dude.
I can only imagine. Especially when you're going through the middle of the country and this is you all night long on the bus.
All night, dude. I mean, it's like being out at sea.
I mean, like all night you're like this because the buses are so top heavy oh any bit of wind they shake the whole night and if the road is a little bumpy no bueno it's not good yeah it's not good they're hard to pee in the middle of the night you're holding onto the wall yeah it's going everywhere dude before we get out of vegas um you we got to give 8 a.m golf a shout um they always have the funnest tournament i was pissed i couldn't make it this year but um we were mad you didn't come back the returning champions didn't return which is a little strange well that yeah pat didn't do the past two years i at least came back last year and tried to run it up with uh chan p yeah fell short to timberlake and fallon for all of you that don't know 8 a.m golf is timberlake's big deal that he has out in um as out in vegas yeah every single year yeah win golf club and man is it a fucking good time it was so fun man looking at all the videos from over the weekend i know i missed a good one yeah jimmy went jimmy went off he threw he threw a drone in the water which uh it started he threw one of the flags i think he threw the flag on the 17th green in the water dude he's and then he threw the drone in the water you know

that's my lake lake travis yeah i know dude that's where he threw my putter he's got a fucking god

damn it jimmy control yourself he can't dude he was out of control but he was they were having we

played them the second round um it was me and c league me and courtney lee played uh c league in

the second half we played them and we did great it was just i was giving chandler shit because uh

Thank you. round um it was me and c league me and courtney lee played uh c league in the second half we played them and we did great it was just i was giving chandler shit because uh him and blake griffin got like 30 strokes i was like how can i beat the guys who stroke on every hole but it was so much fun man dude we had a blast yeah and it keeps getting better there's more and more oh dude just good people that come every single year.
It was stacked. It was stacked with so many fun, cool, and good golfers.
Surprisingly, more people that were good than I knew how good they were until they showed up. Helpsie's always out there.
We played him and Brian, and I can't remember his last name, from the office. Why can't I remember his last name? I always forget it, too.
It's not Baumgartner, right? Yeah, it is Baumgartner. That's right.
Yeah. yeah that's right yeah i think i still owe him from oh you don't owe him anything tahoe he went off gambling by the way he went dude that guy goes he kills off i see him out in tahoe always ripping it yeah he's like do you want to come play with us and i was like i'm gonna go to the 50 tables i don't think my residuals are as good as yours buddy so i went i went over the little little baby tables but they were going i mean they were gambling gambling and then we played them in the second round and on 18 there was a couple of like fans or sponsors or whatever behind us and the guy was like uh how are you guys doing i said good and he goes do you know do you know uh do you know him and i go yeah he's a swimmer i think that guy's a swimmer of al phelps he goes no i know that i go yeah i think he was like in the limit i don't know what i think he's an olympic guy i think he's an olympic guy and the guy got annoyed he was like no i know that i'm saying did you guys know each other before are you american i said yeah i think he's got a bunch of the neck danglies that they give you um the lanyards yeah the l a couple of lanyards to take home.
Yeah, so it was fun. Overall, man, it was so much fun.
It was a great time and a good group of people. And I'm taking a break from drinking for a little while because ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
That'll be me next week. Next week.
15 of my homies. Pat Mahomes has his golf foundation.
Which I'm missing for the first time in four years. I'm not happy.
Over at Shadow, man. I haven't played Shadow in a long time, so I'm pumped about that.
No, you're going to kill it. And I'm pumped to see my dog.
Alright. Well, I at least have to give a shout out to 8am for always having a blast.
Sorry I couldn't make it this year, guys. The best.
Let's get to Ricky Stenicki, dude. Let's go! Are you kidding me? I was talking to you when you were filming this out in Australia, right? Down and down.
Down and down. Down and down.
on the uh links out there i was hitting the sticks available now on amazon prime make sure you guys check it out please um you start alongside uh zach efron jermaine fowler and uh john cena john yeah he was great man cena is the best we had so much fun down there we shot in melbourne uh or melbourne as americans say it and uh cena efron william h macy um and my boy jermaine was played you know me and jermaine fowler and efron played three best friends who make up uh an imaginary friend as their alibi for all the trouble that they get into as kids and then our wives and and girlfriends are like, I want to meet this dude. So we have to hire a lunatic to play our best friend.
And that's John Cena. So fun, man.
Oh my God. It was, it was one of the most fun times I've ever had and shooting it in Australia was wild.
I went out with Cena and we had, uh, John likes Guinness and I'm a whiskey and tequila. You know, I'm a big whiskey guy and I like, I'm not really not really a huge not a huge beer guy I'll have one with you but um he loves Guinness and so biggest guy in the room loves the most protein 100 you got to keep it I got to keep it it's chicken and Guinness my guy he's stealing he's stealing protein yeah so he would say there would be nights where he'd be you know he'd shoot me a text and be like do you want to go have a Guinness I think I've got a later start and a later start for john would be like 9 30 a.m you know what i mean like he was so he's so on top of it it's unbelievable i like professionalism through the roof with that hearing about this through the roof dude he's he's early prepped beyond prepared like bright eye bushy tailed he he's one of those guys he's ready to go at all times there Not like...
That's a talent, man. Yeah.
It's a skill for sure. And then he'd call me and be like, hey, I have a late one in tomorrow.
Do you want to go have a Guinness or two? But with him, it's like, I'm 6'1", 200 pounds. I'm not a tiny guy, but one or two is the first five minutes.
Do you know what I mean? Like, every one Guinness I had, he'd have three so i think we went out and ate kangaroo and had guinness at a bar ate kangaroo yeah we had kangaroo i had what are you eating on the what did that taste like like the tail or the thigh what do you think yeah i think you're eating the chin down here just now and i don't know what it i think we're eating kangaroo backstrap or so i have no idea what part i didn't even't even ask. I didn't ask now.
What did it taste like? Time out. It's got to be gamey.
What was the most similar taste of regular animals? It's gamey. Like, you know how deer is, like how deer, but if you marinate it long enough, it's not, I liked it.
I don't know. Like John didn't like it.
I finished my steak salad. I mean, also I was on five Guinnesses.
So who knows? Who knows if it was the hunger or if it was that the beautiful irish uh irish beer but at first i was like do you eat this down here and the guy was like kangaroo you have someone has to look this up they outnumber humans in australia it's like five to one oh wow like i thought there can't be that many is this an endangered thing they were like nah mate they're everywhere they had too many kangaroos like they can't wait for you to eat them and and so yeah they don't care so we ate them and had guinness and it was john hated it i loved it i thought it was so delicious i would eat it again but uh he's a good dude to go out and have one with and then again in the morning a pro like doesn't miss a beat a total pro so dope yeah me on the other hand i was yeah it was some tough mornings yeah it was tough it was tough but we had so much fun and they were really really good people and good to they treated us well that whole city showed us so much love in melbourne something about the haussies man they're the best dude they're such cool people every single time i fucking see what i ran into helmsworth yeah one one night and it was like i met my long lost brother yeah within like two minutes i'm like dude we gotta rip it again yeah we don't have enough time right now but we gotta do this so chill and so down there's i don't know it's a it is a it is a great vibe down there and then we went to Tasmania, which I couldn't recommend more.

I thought that was like one of the coolest things. We went to this place called the Mona, M-O-N-A, the Museum of Old and New Art.

Oh, cool.

And this dude, the story is crazy.

This dude was like a billionaire gambler who was like banned from gambling because he like cracked the code.

He was like Rain Man.

And then he took all this money and he bought this huge, beautiful house. You'd have to look this up.
And it's multiple floors. It's got to be three to five floors underground.
Everything from like Picasso's to like brand new art. And during the day, there's five or six like nooks of musicians, artists, painters, performers working on their craft.
And then they perform in the evening. So they, so they're cool.
They're doing it during the day. And then you get to see it in the afternoon.
And it was one of the coolest things I've ever seen in my life. Like we watched a harpist write a new song and then she was performing at 430 that night.
That's cool. So you watch them work it out and then you get to chill, go have lunch, come back.
Yeah, it would do that. We had so much fun down there.
I can't wait to go back. Awesome.
Whenever I hear a harp going off, it just feels like I start to like get lifted and just start floating. Yeah.
Oh, wow. That is what I want.
When people say you see the lights when you pass away, I just want to hear a harp. Then I'll be like, all right, it's time.
Hit the harp. Hit the harp.
See you guys. Take me to the other place.
So good, man. Shout out to Australia for making it home for you guys showing me a lot of love and let's move on to some no dumb questions alright now it's time to get to our segment no dumb questions because there's no such thing as dumb people true just dumb questions wait I had that backwards we'll just keep it going there is no such thing as dumb people there's definitely dumb people just just no dumb questions that's right until you hear some of these no dumb questions is sponsored by tommy john underwear you never you ever throw on some tommy johns yeah i mean i usually free ball but i'm gonna start wearing tommy johns from now on we got something about the midwest crew right here we just yeah let it fly i don't but you guys do tommy john makes the most comfortable underwear on the planet.
No adjustment needed. No, sometimes you got to.
No shifting. Yeah, no shifting.
No shifting. All right, here, let's get to our first no dumb question from Michelle Kintz with a Z on Instagram.
Did Trav really forget his undergarments four years ago when he came on your podcast? Let me tell you something. I got a call.
Travis came on whiskey ginger when i used to shoot it out of my house before when we were moving studios yeah and we came to the house we set up at the crib because we were moving and so it was kind of a tight squeeze and the cameras and the angles all this stuff and uh my editor calls me and he's like bro i don't know how to tell you this but uh travis was falling out of out of his shorts i was like what what are you saying dude like why are you being so i was like what do you mean falling out of his shorts he's like i he's you know his uh his boys were were sliding out and i was like oh no and he goes do you want to like call him and reshoot it and i, just put a Kansas City Chiefs logo over his package whenever it falls out. I mean, Travis, his boys wanted to make an appearance on Whiskey Ginger.
And I get that. But sometimes they'd slide out.
Sometimes they'd go back in the cave. So I said, dude, just throw a logo over it.
It'll be really funny. Hey, what's that commotion? Yeah.
What's going on out there? Hey, hey, hey. Who you guys laughing at? Yeah, Travis had a couple of fallout.
A couple of fallout boys. And we cut it out.
And by the way, that footage will be available. What's her name? Mackenzie or whatever? Yeah, Michelle.
Michelle, that footage will be available on our Patreon. No, I'm kidding.
I'm kidding. We're going to hold off and sell that footage for a lot of money someday, Michelle.
That one is in the vault for life. Yeah, Travis had a little sideshow going on.
I didn't have my Tommy Johns on. No, he did not.
No wonder you wear underwear now. I've never had that issue.
Mine can't fall anywhere. They're adhered.
Well, you tape it to your leg. Yeah.
Keep it tight. All right.
Well, it was a fun-ass interview. You guys should check it out.
So fun. Whiskey Ginger's page.
Our sponsor, Tommy John, heard about this and has given us a care package just for you. Oh, hey.
How about that? Whoa. Santino.
It's under my seat. How about this? Under your seat? How about this? I didn't know we gave out.
Oh, look at that.

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Just for you.

Thank you, dude.

I know you do free ball and everything, but I mean, you got friends and cousins and shit.

The gold standard of underwear.

There you go.

Oh, nice.

Emergency box.

I won't have to shift ever again.

Look at that packaging.

Dude.

These are great, man.

Thank you so much.

You already know.

Thanks, TJ.

Hopefully they're in your side.

Yeah.

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They might be my size.

We'll find out. We'll find out.
You know me. If it if it's free give me three i imagine i'm a little smaller than you underwear size wise just because of yeah that's it there's no uh shifting yeah there's no shifting no more shifting automatic underwear yeah so thanks tommy john for uh for passing those along thanks tj we didn't know you didn't wear underwear yeah no i now.
I will now. Honestly, it depends on the season.
When it starts to get warmer, it depends on the pants I'm wearing. It's all, like when I golf, I'll be wearing my Tommy Johns.
There you go. Yeah, you gotta.
I have to. Yeah, exactly.
But when I'm around the house, or when I'm at work, or when I'm with friends and family, when I'm at a funeral, a wedding, free ball! But I'll be wearing my TJs when I play sports. Let the boys fly.
All right. Let's move on to our next one from at Emily E.
Suell on Instagram. Not for Andrew, but my husband and I constantly argue about this.
Is Travis a ginger? No, you're not. You are, but you are accepted by the community.
Nice. We had a meeting.
Honorary? Yeah. we had a meeting in what February this year and we voted on you and you did slide in you're a brother you're a part of the brotherhood but you are your own animal you're not one of us but we do love you and accept you very much and Jason you did get an honorary mention as well because we do know you'll have specks of red come in your beard a little bit um the rumor is you pluck them which we're not happy about you have to let them stay you gotta let them stay dude yeah that's so good but you do get a little bit of a red beard in the summertime your beard gets a little red yeah if it gets real long and then the sun hits it yeah I know fries that thing yeah real nice you're you you you look like me if um god wasn't messing around with colors you know what i mean if he was like all right we'll stop playing we'll make like a we'll make a good looking version of it i was he's just i was the beta version of it yeah he's like look at how funny this looks all right we'll make a good'll make a good one we'll make a good one but you're accepted by the brotherhood accepted by the ginger crew thank you thank you gosh I'm so fucking honored I know man it's a big deal I'm thinking of the community that I'm a part of right now the Scalabrini Scal isas, absolutely.
Are you kidding me? That's one of our kings. The white mamba.
Yeah. He is actually one of the leaders of the conference.
Yeah. He's up top.
Him, Ron Howard, although he's lost most of it, but we still recognize him. Oh, yeah.
Kathy Griffin, Carrot Top. Ooh, Carrot Top.
Swole is a son of a bug. Yeah.
Well, he's our security. Carrot Top works security.
I saw him at the Super Bowl. Back to your Chicago roots.
What about Rodman? Yeah, Rodman got... He's definitely in when he wants to be.
And we just can't argue with him. Yeah.
We're not allowed to say anything about that. I don't want him to come beat me up.
I had to ask. Because, obviously, one of the best comedians, Chiians Chi-Town like Bill Murray.
The best. Like when Farley and Farrell at the Chicago like studio that was really.
So a lot of those guys came through Second City in Chicago. Second City.
A lot of guys would come to Chicago and perform there or like start comedy there and then go to you know back to New York or LA or or whatever but second city has cultivated like some of the greatest comics of all time that place in particular you know and same thing with you know uh io improv olympic they chicago became this like improv hub and uh it made it made some of the greatest of all time have you ever farley loved chicago so much i mean so much. I mean, he was a, you know, he went to school in Marquette, Wisconsin kid, and he loved Chicago.
Unfortunately, lost him in Chicago, which stinks. But like, yeah, those, I think a lot of those guys, Chicago feels like a smaller New York.
So if you're not ready for New York as a performer, maybe, it feels a little bit more homey. It's the Midwest.
And the culture was so thick and rich with with comedy and then you know people went on to those guys all went on to snl and then yeah you know the rest is history did you come straight west coast or did you i never started in chicago i started stand up when i moved to california i was uh i mean i performed a little bit in phoenix when i went to school at arizona state the harvard of, baby. Yeah.
And I would shock them, shock them, shock them up. So yeah, the Harvard in the desert.
I went out there and I did a little bit of stand up. But then when I moved to LA is when I really, so I would say I started in Los Angeles.
I would never say I started. I'm not a Chicago comic.
Chicago's home. How long were you already in the scene out here before you got the role in i'm dying up here i mean i was always curious i mean i so i moved here in oh that was a fucking oh six oh seven thank you oh six oh seven and that show was god how long ago now uh tooth again my my math is i have bad math who knows what year it was i'm dying up here started in come on this is where our producers thrive yeah they thrive the most come on guys what is i'm dying up here what year was that in they they offer zero 2017 or 16 2017 i think we might have filmed it in 2016 so you so 10 years you had been grinding for quite a bit for a decade and then i got that show and that show kind of lifted me because it was produced by jim carrey melissa leo Oscar winner was in it.
So it's just kind of like Alfred Molina. How was it working with Jim fucking Carrey? The man.
I mean, Jim, the wildest story is Jim came to watch us at the comedy store perform. And at first I thought, is this a bad idea or a good idea that he's going to see us? Because the store is where we like, we call it working out, our local club.
We go to work out. That's the gym.
We literally refer to it as the gym, as like working out new bits and trying new stuff. And you have off nights and up nights and down nights.
But for the most part, as a professional, you're just working out. He wanted to come see us.
And I was a little, not nervous, but like, I was like, is this the right venue for him to see us? Because this isn't, you know what I mean? We're doing our thing. I'm nervous right now for you.
Yeah. And sure enough, he came and saw me and Eric Griffin and Al Madrigal, who ended up being the three stand-ups on the show.
And everybody had really, really good sets. I mean, the room was hot.
Things were really good. And then I think Jim wanted to go back, to feel the atmosphere i mean he he was there i mean that was his club yeah and it was awesome and then speaking to jim was amazing kind of like learning his insight about comedy in the world and what that club meant to him and what it did to him and what mitzi kind of did for his life and his career and it was a dream come true if the child in me who used to sit in my mom's basement rewinding the vhs oh dude of dumb and dumber until it broke with my best friend sean could be like dude you're gonna work with this dude one i mean it was like mind bending yeah it was that was far it was him and farley carrie and far kings kings yeah we're my absolute favorite i still have all of them on vhs actually yeah oh i just yeah i went out and got a little 19 inch vhs tv the tv with the v in it And I just fucking For people that don't know The VHS It might have weighed 156 pounds It was the heaviest TV It was a brick It was always really awkward to grab You couldn't just pick it up You had to no you had to like fucking get it was a side you know what it was it was like a side like a boulder like a side thigh lift you know what i mean i hated that i have i had one in my my room at my mom's house for years and years and years but yeah that was a dream come true man my favorite thing about those old school tvs you is you would literally slap them when they weren't working and somehow that like worked i still don't know why

that was on and off button when you were kids just fucking smack it well that was our dad i think that was hit the top of it or side of it our dads they learned that they're like i hit i hit the tv i hit the kids i hit the thing when the thing doesn't work i hit it it works the kids machine, the TV. Whenever you go into bits about your dad, I feel like we grew up in the same household.
Well, Midwest dads have the same, they have the exact same mannerisms. If he doesn't want to do it, just whack him in the head.
Yeah. Right.
He'll figure it out. Trust me, just one good one good whack all right he gave all of my friends

dads the thumbs up on if he gets out of line permission you just fucking whack him yeah what did he say what did he say oh man the fear that the midwest fathers put inside of i'd get cracked on this the top of the head was like the crack that and you'd like felt it through your spine It like went into your toes

I used to hate it so much

I knew my dad was angry

When he wouldn't say anything. When he would give me like the face of like, you know what you did.
Oh yeah. You know exactly what you did.
It ate me alive. Like when he yelled, I was like, this is fine.
I guess he's going to be mad. But when he didn't say anything, I was like, oh man, this is not good.
Yeah, no, you got to tighten up. Yeah, yeah no you gotta tighten up yeah that that uh you're not i'm not upset i'm really disappointed in you guys yeah that's your behavior when uh i still remember he had like a spell where i would like try to run away and he was if you run away it's gonna get worse get over here right now like the spanking was like the ring in like lord of the rings and i was dobby and i just like couldn't like i have no idea where you just went i'm so fucking lost where you just went you really but what a great trick he pulled because if i run away it's not going to be worse you're not going to catch me you're not going to catch me with those old knees i'm out of here bro he knew he knew yeah he knew good trick yeah let's do let's do another one of these no dumb questions from at Aaron Reddish on Instagram which comedian could get one yard in the NFL ooh that's a good one which comedian could get one actual yard in the NFL meaning as a running back yeah yeah I was gonna say as a wide receiver we do this bit or as a tight end there could be a couple of people that are pretty as, but as a back would be tough.
Yeah. Because who's got enough low to the ground energy to be able to do that? There's a, I would say, got to be short and stocky.
I mean, I would say. It sounds like Bobby Lee.
It sounds like you're saying Bobby Lee. Well, here's why Bobby Lee would be able to get a yard in the NFL.
They would hand him the ball, he would drop his pants, and everybody would run the opposite way. So he might get a first down until somebody's ready to tackle him.
That's the only trick he might be able to pull. Psychological advantage, Bobby.
Yeah, it's a psychological trick. But from a physical standpoint, literally nobody.
Nobody would be. I mean, what are we even talking about right now? Nobody.
Not one comic. The only guy that would be able to trick people would be Bobby with his This penis Or he would just run backwards with his butt spread open And then just wobble backwards with the ball And no one would tackle him That's such a Bobby move He could get away with that Bobby just called me by the way He wants to know where I'm at and what I'm doing I said I'm here You want me to call him hi guys bobby we love you congrats on the tour hey bob we said they asked who could in the nfl who could maybe and comedy who could who could maybe get one yard running the football uh in the nfl and we said you because how would you get the ball and what would you do if you got the ball to run through uh to run through the line what do you think you'd be able to do to get a yard in the nfl um can i put poo on my helmet there you go you can put poo on your helmet you could good trick we said you would get naked we said you'd show your penis and run through the line i think people would want to tackle me people would want to tackle you right then you're more desirable everyone all right i'll call you i'll call you when i'm out of here babe.
Bye. And the last one from at Indelay on Instagram.
Have you told Travis about the time you punked Taylor? I have seen this. I think he's probably seen the clip.
I watched Punk'd. Yeah.
I haven't seen this. You got to see the clip.
But we did, Justin Bieber was hosting that episode. It was a celebrity punking a celebrity.
And we did this many, many years ago. I guess Bieber had come back from Japan.
And he told Taylor to come to his house to set off fireworks off the back of this house that we rented in Malibu. My favorite part about this, by the way, when this clip resurfaced, people were like, that's so mean.
This is crazy. It's like, this is fake it's a tv show it's not us we're not you know what i mean it's like jesus we're not real um but taylor got a call from justin and was like come come to this new recording studio and she came down there at the beach in malibu to just see his new studio and hang out and he was like i have these fireworks from japan we should's set them off and taylor obviously to her credit who's always on point was like i don't know if i want to do that and then so we had to put we knew we actually knew ahead of time as we wrote the bit because i wrote this bit i was like uh i was a performer on punkton i also right was writing the show and i said if she doesn want to do it, we have to make it so it's like a button or a thing where it's like an accidental easy, like, did you press this or whatever? And they set up a rig, a fake rig with buttons on it.
And she did like touch one, like slightly just goofing around. And it set off a firework and we had it on a rope line to throw it in the direction of this boat, a big boat out in the ocean.
It set the boat on fire and uh there was a wedding party on the boat and i was the groom and we were uh dingy to shore uh with our boat on fire and we blamed her for ruining our wedding and uh that's yeah i will say this i love you you could ask her the truth but she bought it i know was chaotic. I mean, the boat was on fire, but it was all professionally done.
My favorite part is people on the internet were like, oh, yeah, what a waste of money burning a boat. It's like, we didn't burn a boat.
It's not a real rig. But yeah, she set a wedding party on fire and we came to shore with the pastor, myself, the bride.
And we were like, you ruined our wedding, Taylor Swift. And then my wife and gregory was like maybe it's a sign maybe this is a sign i shouldn't marry him and taylor was like no i don't i don't think that's right i don't know if that's right it was so good i gotta ask so fun man it was just like such a it was a it was a perfect bit that worked some of the bits were so wild and they didn't work but hers was specifically uh was great because it was so many moving pieces that kind of came together sometimes they don't come together like that but like we we did one the drake we punked drake he was thought he was going to meet vice president joe biden at the time and uh we put him in the basement of the the skirball center and we had secret service come like you know mirrors in the car and the dogs and him and his boys were in the car and he's like and i was a secret sir i drove them i was a secret service member and he was like yo chill like don't like he was being he was so legit he was being such he was on his good boy behavior he's like don't fuck around with a secret service like don't know jokes no none of that shit like he was prepping his boys and then we had put a rig underneath his car kind of like um you know how like a self-winding watch has a a weight that isn't you know that when it flips it spins so it oh yeah the weight goes i don't even know what those things are called i'm too stupid but we put that it put that motor underneath the car and we put it all over on other cars in this garage and so we simulated a fake earthquake so the car was shaking other cars were shaking and we'd make smoke and noise and and it was all this so he was sitting in the car we just had to keep him in the car so he would feel it shake like it's an earthquake the whole time and uh he had a full-on panic like drake shout out to drake being from canada he was just like he was like yo yo yo he grabbed onto his boy he held him real tight it was hilarious dude yeah use that in the disc kendrick use that in the i'm gonna i would have ate i would have fucking been shitting myself oh dude he was freaking out and then we had my wife who played in the earlier sketch and she was pregnant and she came on she's like what's going on so you see this pregnant woman in the middle of an earthquake and drake was like drake was like stay away from the car there's this is the secret service car you can't come near the car it's so funny dude yeah we had some wild wild bits but yeah that one was good the tail you have to ask taylor about it yeah i'll see if she was uh trying to sell it or not yeah she might have been i don't know when i saw it i thought i bought it i bought it yeah we did they did it right yeah well that does it for no dumb questions brought to you by tommy john thank you tommy john for the free draws thank you guys every big moment starts with a big dream but what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop from wondering andwill Media, I'm Misha Brown, and this is The Big Flop.
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Get started with your free trial at wondery.com slash plus. Let's move on to some more stand-up, man.
All right. Let's talk about your stand-up career a little bit more.
We like to ask the football guests what's your welcome to the NFL moment. What would you say was your welcome to stand-up moment? That's a good question.
I think- Or welcome to comedy moment. Yeah.
You know, like I think a big moment in my comedy life, and there's been so many, like honestly, like there's moments where you go, wow, this is amazing. This is amazing.
This is amazing. Like I can't believe that.
But I think like the earliest one would be the first club to pass me um was uh the hollywood improv the historic hollywood improv um and they passed me and this is wild i can show you this is the craziest thing i was in las vegas visiting my friend sean that guy that used to watch dumb and dumber with me he was living in vegas for a stint because he took a job out there and i have it right here on tense it's the oldest email i kept 10 16 2009 from the hollywood improv hello there let me know this is your first paid set as a regular and i was the first person on the list and it was from 10 16 which is my birthday nice i got my e i got this email on my birthday from eric the old booker at the improv it was meant to be and this was a moment i was in vegas and my mom was there and and my best friend's mom was there they were visiting him we were all having like a family and that was like a i don't know that was just a really amazing important moment in my life that it was like wow okay i finally get to work at this club you know and it wasn't like that was it you know? That was just my end. Like you're in now.
Now you get to try to come work and keep your spot and perform every week and see if we let you come back and see if we book you. So it was kind of like a testing ground, but they're saying yes to you getting in.
And that was a massive moment that when the store passed me right after that and then, you know, little moments like that. But that one was something special.
That was like really wild to receive wild to receive that on my birthday that's cool as fuck yeah that it's like you're now going to be accepted into the lineups you can call in and request spots you doesn't mean you would get them yeah but you'd say hey i'm available i would love to work if i can work so yeah and that's that's the grind forever that's what you had to do for years and years and years and try to keep your spots and it's just like what you guys had to do it's like if you don't perform, you may not play. Yeah.
You know what I mean? It's the grind forever. That's what you had to do for years and years and years and try to keep your spots.
And it's just like what you guys had to do. It's like, if you don't perform, you may not play.
Yeah. You know what I mean? You get to the big leagues, man.
Yeah, you have to perform. It's just dope.
Yeah, it was cool, man. Right.
That was like my entry level to, in sports terms, that was the farm league. You know what I mean? I was in the farm league.
And getting brought up means you get to be on the big shows. And then sometimes you go back down to the farm leagues for a little while.
Sometimes you go back to AAA. Just got to get good batting practice in.
You know what I mean? Yeah, got to get a go-go swing. Honestly, that was the coolest because we used to have, I think it was a AAA team just outside of Cleveland called the Lake Erie Captains.
And whenever a guy was kind of coming off of IR or like kind of just wanted to like get a swing back or something.

Like I remember Omar Vizquel playing for the captains for like two games.

And I just happened to be going out there because the tickets were $5.

And it was a fun way to play like watch a baseball game and hang out.

And honestly just like fuck around as a kid.

Yeah.

And I got to see Omar Vizquel play in the Lake Erie captains and it was like what the fuck even the big dogs playing oh yeah still so it's like yeah you were just you're going to get your swing going to get my swing in we saw when i was living in long beach when i first moved here canseco played for long beach's like minor league squad or something like that they were in long beach and we went down there to see Jose Canseco play a couple of years that was like the weirdest thing ever it was like him playing against little kids he was basically yeah basically it was like it was like Canseco playing against uh like a like a local minor league team or something like that it was so weird and I was like what why is he doing I don't know what he was doing but we went down there and saw him when i was staying in long beach and i was like this is kind of fun to see and the difference is incredible when you see it you're like oh yeah that's that's why he was a pro yeah i mean this this i think he pitched i'm almost crazy but i think he i think he pitched look up jose canseco pitching in long beach i'm almost positive there's no way i'm telling you it was nuts it was I'm almost positive he pitched. There's no way.
I'm telling you, it was nuts. It was like a minor league.
He did, right? It's true? This is true. What? God damn it, Jose.
So what was the name of the team? He pitched for. How do you pitch with lats? Yeah.
Well, he threw underhand. Jay, he threw.
It was it. He was tossing underhand.
It was wild to watch him go do that. Yeah, that was it.
He was tossing underhand.

It was wild to watch him go do that.

Yeah, that was nuts.

Well, in stand-up, constantly touring all over the country, man. Yes.
You are the traveler. Is there any city where you feel like you consistently just absolutely kill it? That's so tough.
like my favorite cities to perform probably would be Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, LA, San Diego, Phoenix, Nashville, Dallas, Chicago, Milwaukee, Minneapolis, New York, New Jersey, Philly, Baltimore, Washington, DC, Charleston, Nashville. Just come on down.
You know what? I really couldn't even, like truthfully, I couldn't even tell you. I would say hometown Chicago.
I have the most fun going home. It means the most to me.
It's like just, I don't know, going home. You know what it's like to go home you're like it's just something else but Chicago uh and and and uh Philly I'm a hit in Philly and Boston though they always have treated me so well KC does me real real good St.
Louis does me a little dirty I'm not gonna lie I know because I'm a Chicago kid I get it but KC's always been good to me St. Louis has been all right Dallas and uh and the West Coast has always been blessed me really well the West Coast always does me well but nothing like going home dude Chicago to me it's more like um probably just have more fun just seeing family yeah just because like we have all of our family and friends come out and they bring their friends and this year we had an after party at the Chicago theater and it was like I don't know 120 people or something like that was great it was like that's more what it's about is like getting the family and the friends to just go goof off you know what I mean I tell everybody man win lose obviously love winning more man but I thoroughly enjoy going up to the suite after football games yeah and seeing all the friends family, man.
It immediately, like, obviously if we win,

the energy's up.

Big time.

Yeah, we get to party even more and have more fun.

But being so grateful for getting to where you are in this world

and being able to share that excitement and that success

with the people that you grew up with, man,

and the people that you're with now, man. It's just the absolute best.
That's the reason to do it. I mean, I said this in the car to my sister and her best friend are with me.
And I said, I think the only thing that's cool about being an adult is that if you, when you start to make money in your career, you get to enjoy it with your friends and your family, people that you love. The only reason for me to like get more career success is like, I can have more fun with my parents and my family, your friends and your family people that you love the only reason for me to like get more career success is like i can have more fun with my parents and my family my friends and do more fun stuff that's like to me it's the only i don't know there is no other reason to do it other than using that to have more be able to have more fun and more access for fun yeah yeah and get a sports car true there you go what is the better comedy town philly or kc you gotta you gotta pick one what's a better comedy town philly or kc yeah don't look at me oh bro this is so mean there's just more people there's way more people in philly yeah that's a little unfair people more more funny people more yeah you have to go toe-to-toe you have to go cities of similar size, like Indianapolis, Kansas City.
That would be similar in size, I bet, right? Well, which one's better between Indianapolis and Kansas City? Yeah, Kansas City. There's no doubt about that.
Yeah, there's no doubt about that. Per capita, Kansas City's crushing it.
Let me ask you this. I've always been interested in, I've loved stand-up comedy whole life.
Travis and I used to watch like Comedy Central Presents.

Like we would, we've always been infatuated with standup.

What would be the way you would recommend to me or anybody else that's never done it

to go try it?

Like an open mic?

Try a mic.

Yeah.

Is there like a strategy that you would recommend?

I mean, try, if somebody's really wanting to do it. I mean, I would highly suggest not doing it for everybody.
If that's, that's my first, that's my first piece of advice. Are you sick of kind of seeing this? Yeah, I'm going to go up there and have some fun and do it.
Well, a lot of people are like the funniest guy in their group of friends are like the funniest dude at the office, but they don't understand like the thing to do the thing. It's like a, there's gear yeah and it's also it becomes if it's your career becomes a lifestyle it embodies everything that you like it's everything it's you've dedicated so many years you know i started when i'm in 06 07 and so it's like you really have to and i'm starting to get recognized now as a stand-up It's, you know, I took, it takes a long time to really do it.

I think a lot of people think they can, but I would say if you want to just do it for the fun of it,

yeah, go hit a local, yeah, hit a local.

Yeah, just, I'm not talking about making a career of it.

I would say hit a local open mic and try.

And a lot of clubs will have open mics on like Sundays or Mondays in your city, depending.

And I would say give it a whirl and see if it does something for you. It could just be therapeutic.
You know what I mean? Where it's like, this is good to just get it out. And if you can't afford therapy, go to your local open mic.
That's free. You can always yell about your dad at a local open mic in Poughkeepsie, whatever makes you feel good at the end of the day.
But yeah, I would say go to a mic and try it. God, that's good.
to see uh you two cats come and do it i would love to set something up for you guys to go do it jay would you be down yeah let's so uh our next uh bit here is fans send us all sorts of crazy shit uh what's the weirdest thing a fan has ever tried to give you the show the distance yeah the He's on the TV and he's not. He's not.
Jason, would you want to open? Maybe give it just a run? I purposely. You're not here.
You didn't hear him. No, he heard it.
I'll do it. If you do it with me, I'll do it.
No, this isn't a hand-in-hand thing. We'll see who can make more laughs.
Don't fucking just go. Don't make it a challenge.
Challenge. Let's get it on.
Wait, what was the say what was that second question though oh fans uh send us all sorts of crazy shit what's the weirdest thing a fan has ever tried to give you at a show what's the weirdest thing a fan has ever tried to give me at a show um i mean i've gotten look i've gotten a lot of drugs drugs are definitely a gift that people give you nice yeah that's. But the wildest thing is there's always a guy that comes in.
Well, a dude will come with like a pill jar. And he's like, hey, well, yeah.
And I'm like, I'm not taking that. Guess your flavor or jelly bean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's probably, it's a good rule of thumb. Don't take random pills from people.
They give you a pill. They'll be like, this is DMT or whatever.
And I'm always like, I'm not taking this, but I will give it to a friend that I don't like that much. I will give them.
Let them have it. You give it to Bobby and all of a sudden he's naked on stage.
Yeah, exactly. We've gotten some, but Bobby and I have gotten on tour.
I will say the fans are incredible. The art that they've given us is beautiful.
Like some of of these artists make such incredible stuff and that's why on Bad Friends like our studio is built with tons of art yeah like we do that we put up all the art that people give us and we cycle it out as often as we can but we've we've gotten some really heartfelt gifts um Bobby got a ring that somebody's father had during the Korean War and I thought thought that was such an amazing, we get a lot of sober chips because Bobby's sober. We get a lot of those chips.
And I get a lot of golf stuff, which I think is really, all the fans know. So they always get me golf hats or golf balls or, you know, cool little trinkets, but nothing ever like, oh, we did get, that's not true.
We get um ashes of somebody's uh passed away mother or father i don't quite remember unfortunately we got a little bit of ashes yeah and we lost it our tour manager was like i think we put the ashes on the thing and i was like i don't know so sorry to that person your dad is in doesn't sound like they really somewhere else they didn't really. I don't know.
I have no idea. No, it was a nice thought.
They were like, I want you to have a little bit. What do you do with? I was going to put it on my eggs.
I mean, I have no idea. I don't know what you do.
A little salt pebble. A little salt pebble.
A little daddy. A little daddy eggs.
Yeah. Oh, my goodness.
We've gotten some weird, strange stuff, but nothing too dark.

Well, besides the ashes.

Yeah, but the ashes was kind of a nice, it was like a nice, I get it.

I get what they were trying to do.

Yeah, sentimental.

All right, let's get to your Chicago fandom.

We got the NFL draft coming up, and you guys are sitting in the pole position.

What are you hoping they do?

Well, I will say, do we believe in my boy? Do we believe in Caleb? Do we believe in him? Do you? I do, yeah. I think he's the man.
He's got some gamer in him, man. But I'm also, I've said this pretty adamantly.
I like Justin Fields. I've always supported the guy.
I thought he was great. I enjoyed him.
You know, look, the system maybe wasn't working. We have a lot of things going on in chicago as people know virginia mccaskey i think is i think she's 186 now i think you guys can look that up she's she's a little bit older there's a little she's a little bit older she sought off pipes for the original yeah sure the original soldier stadium yeah she built soldier field um it's a little tough i think the bears need think the Bears need some fixing and I believe in Caleb.
I think he's going to do some great stuff. I really genuinely do.
I hope. And you have to, unfortunately, because we've had, you guys know, the Bears just have been beaten up so much and even when we start sniffing over 500, we bring ourselves back down to reality every season i do think you guys got a good gm right now i thought uh yeah i thought ryan was a great uh i think he was head of i'm not sure what his position was in kc but i he scouted for you guys oh yeah he was big he was yeah yeah he helped us build a lot of what we got yeah and or at least he's been there the entire time I've been there.
And I've seen him in the building really working. Yeah.
You don't get those kind of jobs without getting a good resume build. No.
Look, I think we're really constructing what could be really great for the Bears. I mean, we really – the problem with Chicago teams, we always say that.
We're like, we're rebuilding. It's like we've been rebuilding for a long time we've been rebuilding since i was born on earth but uh it's it is what it is i mean look and i'll support them forever i do get a lot of shit online for being for supporting you i get a lot of shit for that whenever i wear a casey everyone's like oh really you're a chiefs fan now that they're like, that's for my boys.
I'm just supporting my friends. But people really clap at me about that.
So I can't stand that. Maybe the Bears should get some guys who just love to rip it on the golf course with Cheeto, man.
Yeah. That's what I'm fucking talking about.
Yeah, come on. Come play golf with me.
Then I'll support you. No.
I'm a Chicago sports fan. Come on, Cole.
Yeah, Cole's a local boy.

He's a dog.

We love him.

I love watching him. But I'm going to support the Bears again and again.

It's hard.

It's just really tough, particularly when you spoil me

and I come see you guys, and that sucks.

I was like, how come my team can't do that?

I like that.

That's what I like.

The trophy?

I like, well, we want one of those.

Out of all the Chicago

teams, which one's top

dog? Bears, Cubs, Bulls,

Blackhawks? For me, Cubs. I

grew up like a, like, you know,

obviously I grew up a, it was, for me

as a kid, it was basketball and baseball.

The Bears were a little bit later in my life

because I played basketball and baseball. I never played

football. I mean, I did play football and then I got a concussion and my dad was like, no more.
I was like, no more. That's it.
I'm tapping out. Yeah.
Namas. What position? Well, this is funny.
In junior high, I was a safety and I love playing. I love playing defense.
And then our kicker got hurt. Yeah.
And the coach was like, Santino's athletic enough. He can kick.
You just kick, just all you got to do is kick it away. Yeah.
And the kid snapped the ball over my head, like seven feet. And I jumped as high as I could.
And I used to be able to hop. We have pictures.
I can send you guys and me Duncan and in, uh, in college. Daddy used to be able to hop.
Uh, now I have sciatica. He snapped the ball like seven feet over my head.

And I remember looking up being like, as I jumped, I remember going, shit.

Like I knew it was way gone.

So I ran back to grab the ball and I'm looking over kind of out of my peripheral.

I'm like, the coach is like, kick it, kick it.

But I knew I couldn't kick on the run.

You know what I mean?

On that turn and run.

No way, dude.

It wasn't taught back then. No way.
That's so hard. And so then I just started sprinting up the line.
And I was making way. And I see the first down.
And then. Yeah.
And I woke up. And my dad was over me.
He's like, you got your bell rung. That's what he kept saying.
You got your bell rung. Dude, I was gone.
I want to see this so bad. And after and after that i was like no more football you remember uh sean taylor in the uh in the pro bowl game oh he rocked that fucking kicker on the fake field goal dirty the other punter dude that's what this is taking me back to right oh dude the pain the pain was unbuttoned because it blindsided me too because i'm running up the.
I don't see this dude coming out of this side. I got smoked.
And it was helmet to helmet. Back then, in junior high, helmet to helmet, they, like, cheered it on.
They were like, yeah. Yeah, spear him.
Spear him in the head with your head. So I stopped playing football and then.
Dude, Pernice O'Neal has a great bit about that. Who does? Pernice O'Neal.
Yeah. RIP.

I think he's passed.

I'm not sure.

Patrice O'Neal.

Patrice. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Dude, he has a good bit about how it was just back in the day.

It was like, there wasn't a get on the knee and pray for him.

We were doing a tribal dance around this man.

They were dancing on top of him.

Yeah.

I've seen that bit.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Take it, man.

Take it, socks.

I quit football. And then so Cubs and Jordan, I grew up in the Jordan era.
So basketball was number one for me my whole life. And then now I've, you know, I still go Cubs games, Bulls, Hawks if I can, and Bears.
But yeah, Cubs are number one for me. My dog's name is Cubs, is Cubby.
That's 2015, man. I took my dad to the World Series.
That was like the greatest moment of my life. I know, dude.
I loved it so much. I took my dad to the World Series and I was shooting.
I'm dying up here. We were shooting.
I'll tell it quickly, but we were shooting over Dodger Stadium. We were in Chavez Ravine and there was like a kickout that's like above the stadium that looks down.
And we shooting this scene where, man, this is such a weird, I was on the show, I was mad at my father for not being a good dad and he gifted me a car and I, and I wanted to bash the car to pieces because I hated him so much. And we were at night, we were shooting the scene where I was bashing this car over Dodger stadium about my dad that I hated who did me wrong, but I was trying to shoot the scene as fast as I could because I had to leave that night to get to the airport for a four or 5 a.m.
flight to Chicago to make it to get to the World Series to take my dad, my dad. Yeah.
And so fucking cool. Got to the airport on time.
I'm on the plane and the flight is delayed and I'm having like a panic attack like, oh oh, I'm going to miss the world series. And I remember I was in the galley way and I called my dad and I was like, I think I'm going to miss the world series.
And I started just bawling. I was bawling.
And my old man was like, it's okay. It's okay.
And I go, you can take someone to the, just take someone to the game. He's like, no, I'm not going to go without you.
Just sell the tickets. Just get on StubHub or Ticketmaster and sell the tickets.
and sell the tickets dude tell me you made it and then dude and then i hung up the phone and the flight attendant was like i think we're maybe gonna take off the next half an hour praying to god we take off and i am like please please please make this please please please not this is my hand to god i landed and i jumped in a cab and i threw the guy all the had in my pocket. And I said, you please get me to Wrigley Field as illegally as you can.
And he was driving, driving on the shoulder of the, of the highway, like just on the shoulder we're driving. And he was like, if I get a ticket, you're paying.
I'm like, no, I don't care. No doubt.
And I get there and I met my dad in front of Wrigley. We have a picture of it.
As they were singing the national anthem, he was waiting outside. Let's fucking go! Yeah! You hear that, Chicago? It was the wildest moment.
All that shit you fucking talking about, the Chi-Town kid not loving the city? You fucking kidding me? It was amazing, so I got to go. And we still lost that game, but I had such a good time.
I got a similar, not as fucking cool as that. That is awesome.
Yeah, it did take uh i took top of kelse to the world series uh sat right behind uh home plate up there and progressive field but as me and jason know jacob's field jacob's field right yeah you don't call it that man i'm telling you those moments though they're the absolute best i remember my dad throwing me on the rapid the rapid you get off right there at the gateway district man and you just it's like the the times have changed like dad would just go up and get a fucking nosebleed seat and we go and see the indians and then of course i'm taking them to the fucking world series oh it's the coolest moment man ever it's a cool it's such a it's it was such a big special thing to do and i'm stoked that i was able to do it it was just like uh uh it was. I'll never forget it.
Your dad's a real one. He's like, just sell the tickets.
It's not you. I don't want to go.
I loved him for that. I said, just take, you know, his buddy John.
I was like, just take John. Just take John to the game.
He'll appreciate it. Harvey will like the game.
And he was like, no, I'm not going without you. Just sell the tickets.
And I literally was on one of the ticket apps and I was contemplating hitting sell now like I was I held it open and I was like gosh I just sell these tickets I should just sell them I'm never gonna make this and luckily she was like just sit down I think we might be able to do it in 30 minutes and I was like please god and then by the way the whole flight I was just I was just chugging whiskey double whiskeys I was like please gotta be primed it, please make it. Got to be primed.
Got to be prepped and ready. Can't enjoy Wrigley.
Oh, how has that been? Seeing that entire community outside of Wrigley. What the Ricketts did to that whole thing is bananas.
I mean, it's like a community. When I was a kid, it was.
I mean, it was just like a, it was just a little scumbag central for like party animal. Now it's like high end.
You can go get like a nice meal before the game. It used to be just like a shitty mcdonald's and a bunch of sports bars and now it's like hotels and and and restaurants and i mean it's beautiful though i mean they really did make it make it look like a an event you know what i mean like uh you can bring your full family there and it's it really is like a whole to-do you can spend a whole day down there having a good good time, especially day games.
Day games at Wrigley are the best. They didn't start playing night games until fucking...
Yeah, like 10 days ago. Yeah, we were too cheap for lights.
Yeah, we were too broke to throw lights out. That's cool, though.
You know, fuck it. This is how we play baseball.
Yeah. In the sun.
By cooking in the sun and the bleacher bums with their shirts off just blacked out sunburned it is like that is wrigley personified beautiful beautiful young women like young blonde women and just blacked out dudes shirts off fatted out right next to them that's a wrigley iconic image now i'm sold i've always been i've always been a die hard just want to go to every stadium there is every every sporting event there is wrrigley's been at the top of the list for years so we gotta do it dude I'm down we have to at least go out to the bleachers I know you want to sit like you want to sit like Trav but we gotta go out there I want to be in the shit we should go out there for a minute you won't last long but we should go out there i promise you i blend like the tree okay i blend on trees yeah i blend with the best yeah my birdie just one is that travis calce just one of those jonas valentunas oh is that valentunas oh it is yeah that's what i thought it was yeah my my doppelganger is uh i keep getting tagged with spencer turnbull that's a Philly. He's a Philly boy, right?

Spencer Turnbull.

He's a pitcher for the Phillies.

Isn't he a pitcher for the Phillies, right?

Spencer Turnbull?

Yeah.

The name does ring a bell.

Dude, you got to see this guy.

It's like people keep tagging me.

They're like, you look exactly like this, dude.

It's almost creepy.

Dude, when Valanciunas got drafted, I immediately. I definitely was just talking to this guy in the film.
Right before you threw out the first pitch. Full-on 15 to 20 minute conversation.
That a boy, Jason. I was like, I could have sworn I met this guy.
Oh my gosh. People tag me.
People are like, this is you, bro. That's so good.
Right away. He's ridiculous.
He does. I mean, he is very handsome, I'll say that.
that so shout out to spencer triple yeah he's a philly now he was in detroit before and now he's in philly speaking of like sitting in the stands i love sitting in the stands as well my kylie and i one time this is before kylie got famous but in philly it's always hard to go to the sporting events but i i got a full-on like disguise the like old like mr potato the head, like glasses. Which only makes you stand out more.
And for sure, but people don't know. They're like, who the hell is that guy? Just to sit in the outfield.
And it lasted by four innings. But yeah, either way.
It's the best. It's so fun.
We got to do it. Can I come with you guys? You are more than welcome.
Legendary Cub pitcher, Rick Suckliff. Yeah, Suckliff, baby.
Suckliff has been telling me to bring my ass out there for years now. Well, let's go.
And I owe it to him. He's a Kansas City guy.
He grew up in KC, big Chiefs fan. But he's been telling me I got to hit Wrigley with him.
What are we waiting for, my guy? Dude, honestly, I don't know at this point. Let's go.
It's going to happen now. We're going.
We're doing it. You'll see us, Wrigley.
You'll see us. We'll be out there, baby.
Let's get to a little. We got to ask, honestly i don't know at this point let's go it's it's gonna happen now we're going we're doing you'll see us wrigley you'll see us we'll be out there baby let's get to a little we gotta ask but you don't have to answer okay great that's always a fun game jason you want to tee it up love it sure uh moving on to our last segment we gotta ask you don't have to answer this segment is sponsored by lazy boy join the movement take a moment on the most comfortable furniture out there long live the lives all right.
You talked about the time Pat drank 23 Coors Lights during the course of two of your stand-up shows. That's right.
He stayed for not one, but two. Oh, yeah.
He doubled down because that's how fucking funny Cheeto is. All right.
Were you surprised he could drink like that? Oh, my God. Well, first of all, people that know Pat know he loves them Coors, baby.
Let's get them Coors. Let's get them Coors.
Get them Coors. Get them cores get them that mountain water them them mountains are blue i'm drinking at the first show i had the the wild thing was weird that was in at in dallas at the addison improv and the wild thing was um during the first show i just assumed they were gonna have a drink or two watch the show and then leave i was like they got somewhere to be yeah and when they told me he drank them out of coors lights i for real thought they were joking but the club was like no we actually have to go buy more we just we ran out of coors lights and it was like you know i was like that's not even a real thing and they were like no i mean obviously people in the room were drinking them but they were like your party drank a fair amount of coors lights and and then when the second show came around i thought well he's only probably only going to have a few we're not going to like you know what i mean like he'll probably have a few because then then he'll want to go but no he smoked of whatever they gave him there he just washed all of those easy then we went out and he was like let's go to this this mexican restaurant and get food and hang out and we did and then he smashed another probably dozen and then he's like who was at the club maybe he wanted to go to the club to go see somebody maybe it was dez or something i don't even remember who it was and he was like yeah let's go uh meet them in the club then it was another like dozen courses dude i was like i see why you're sponsored dude surprisingly coherent the entire time yeah Dude, he's functional.
He can, there no like a wobble there's no like oh pat's gone no he was he was smashing them cores dude those those silver bullets were going down easy baby was a little surprised at first then i got used to it all right when rob mcelini uh came on the show we talked about the time the two of you made fun of Travis for wearing a Rolex on the golf course. Do you remember this? Oh, fuck, dude.
Remember when I went to Lakeside? Yeah, this guy had an all-gold Rolex to come play golf in. I had just got it.
I didn't know where to put it. I didn't want to throw it in the golf bag.
I just started ripping it with it on. Did you get that? He just won one of those claw machines.
I was like, where did you get that from, dude? Is that? Why are you wearing that on the golf course? It was so shiny. I'll tell you a good embarrassing story about Rob McElhaney.
He won't like this at all. We were playing on, Trav had just, you either just played with us or were just about to play with you.
And we were doing a round and we were on a little little par three mac put one like over the fence into the river uh and he took his club i want to say it's like a wedge and there's bushes but there's also a one of those cross-linked fences behind the bush yeah he threw it so hard it went through that fence through the bushes and the la river it, and it's all concrete. Most of the time, it's no water in it.
You could hear, bing, bing, bing, bing. You heard his club bounce off of the concrete.
And me and the two dudes were playing with silence. I didn't say a word.
I was like, oh, dude, I'm not going to talk to him for the rest of the day. And he goes, and now when I tell that story, I'm like, dude, Mac threw a club one time through he's like i don't do that i don't do that anymore that's not something i do anymore i was like okay man but you did you did it once yeah you did it once it happened yeah he was send a ball into the until the river again yeah he said the ball and the club into the river yeah but trav when he came out wearing a big a big shiny rolex i was like how are you gonna swing with this thing on and we kept making fun of him the whole time but you know he stayed his course he was once it was on and I you got to eat it yeah you have to again that's playground rules they take you take it all no you can't take it off that's more embarrassing yeah a dream foursome okay golfers and non-golfer that's tough yeah Tiger for sure 100% Jordan because I know he's a golf dog.
God, I'm trying to think of non-golfers too. Because my brain just goes automatically to golfers.
Tiger. Jordan.
Kim Jong-un. Dude.
Most hole-in-ones in the history of golf. I've heard he's so nasty.
He's the best. How could I not? Yeah.
Hole-in-one again, Mr. Oon? This is a par five.
Yeah. Larry David? Probably Larry would definitely be up there.
I would say let's throw him in the ice. But that's what's tough is there's so many dudes that I would kill to play with, but Tiger for sure and MJ.
I would love to play just those two cats alone. I mean, you get those two on the golf course.
I just want to see the competition. I know.
That's all I want to see. It has to be.
They've had to have played together and it was just the most epic round of all time. Yeah.
Absolutely. Yeah.
Tiger and MJ, whenever you guys want to play. Give me a call.
You've been on a ton of TV shows. Which one specifically do people most recognize you on i mean dave is probably because it's the most recent dave people see me the most on or you know when we were shooting the show so i think that one a lot i'll get like uh i did my first sitcom that failed was called mixology it's weird sometimes i'll get like an aunt you know like your aunt your aunt janine you know when i'm out it'll be like were you on a show called make salad.
Yeah, I'll get that an aunt, you know, like your aunt, your aunt Janine, you know, when I'm out, it'll be like, well, you want a show called McSally? Yeah, I'll get that sometimes, which is wild. It lasted one season on ABC and got crushed.
But I did, I've done so many like small little bit roles too. Arrested Development, no one really, I snuck on that.
I did Curb and I, so people will see me from that sometimes because that was a couple of years ago, which was like one of the best experiences of my entire life. So dope.
It was wild. But mostly Dave, like almost always Dave now because it was such a big show on FX for a hot minute.
And hopefully Ricky Stenicki will be what more and more people see. Fuck yeah.
And then who knows what's next. I mean, I have a new show that we're working on now for me so fingers crossed all about whiskey baby all about whiskey

baby and and we need and we need a big bearded uh big bearded guy uh in the barrel room so jason if you're available i mean yeah i'm free okay yeah are you are you busy are you working i'm jobless actually currently i officially don't have a job well let's employ you man I would love to employ you

alright perfect

well Wikipedia has

has a list of uh myriad of reasons um myriad of things that they have on there as you're known as slugger santino the red rocket yeah that he is avoid timeout i gotta bring this up orange he's avoiding a word that's on this rundown because he doesn't know the words. But I used another good word.
You did. You navigated it well.
Wait, what's the word? Let me see. Can I see what the word is? Hold on.
I think it's... Hold on.
Hold on. Hold on.
Where are we looking? Wikipedia has an official list of your pseudonyms. Ah, right.
Pseudonyms. Silent P's always get me.
The silent P's. Hey, if it's a PS, that's tough.
Yeah's that's tough yeah ps's are tough but i i use it is that's cincinnati's fine yeah that's a good this is i don't blame this is what we don't blame travis for this this is this is the whoever wrote that name that word in there how dare you you can't say you're not proud of me but he said myriad myriad was good that that was he was right. You have a litany.
You could say litany. Ooh, a litany.
A litany of litany. Another one.
Litany. You did use some big words there.
You nailed that. My pseudonyms on Wiki, yeah.
The Slugger Santino, that came from when I was a young lad in Chicago. We grew up in downtown Chicago, my mom and I, when she was still a single mother.
And I would fight a lot. I liked to fight often.
Fuck yeah. fight yeah it was like one of my favorite things oh hell yeah I was kicked out of a few different places for fighting I think I got kicked out of preschool for fighting which is bananas but they called me sluggers yeah and then I went to Moody Bible uh which people know and they asked me to leave politely they asked because of my my, you're kicking him out.
They're like, we're asking him to no longer attend.

Nobody wants to leave with a black eye.

Very non-Catholic of him to punch everyone in the face that he doesn't like.

So they call it, so my, they get, yeah, Slugger Santino was born from that.

And the Red Rocket was a natural, that was a great play on a dog's penis nickname for

me because I'm the Red Rocket.

I'm a big Red Rocket.

What's the other one?

Agent Orange. Agent Orange is not me.
I'd never heard of that, that but i like that i'll take it yeah that's a good one i'll take that i like agent orange uh cheeto dust uh cultivator yeah i think that's just someone playing with cheeto santino yeah i think that one i think that was just a rendition of it the last of the great gingers joe rogan said that one time on his podcast and that stuck i think jo Joe introduced me on his podcast as the last of the Great Gingers and that kind of made its way somehow onto Wikipedia. It's so funny.
It's like someone said something once like seven years ago and then it landed. Out of those ones right there where we just listened.
I think Agent Orange is, I should start going by that. I think that's amazing.
I mean, that's like my Men in Black code. And you know what? You know when Men in Black, they make you look into that pen, but they just have to look into my hair.

I just stare down and it's like...

Like Medusa, man.

Especially me in the winter, dude.

This is...

Look at this, dude.

Ghostly.

You know what I mean?

I can't wait for summertime to get burnt.

Yeah.

I just get a little...

Just one more shade of orange.

That's all I get.

I get a little...

I turn into burnt orange.

Sounds like a Mountain Dew

like

Agent Orange

Agent Orange

they did have Code Red

Code Red was

I mean it still is a thing

at Taco Bell

Code Red could be me

but Agent Orange

sounds really good

yeah I do like it

I mean the history of it

is not good

but I'll take the

we'll take the current

wordplay

it's not so good

but whatever

my eyes are just

a little different

whatever man

we still drink

Irish car bombs

and that's not cool

you know what I mean

Thank you. so the history's not so good but whatever just a little different whatever man we still drink irish car bombs and that's not cool you know what i mean i still yeah that's not a cool that's not like a happy piece of history but we're fine with that all righty i'm not sure you saw this but i talked about losing uh my super bowl ring uh last week in a pool of chili on our.
Yeah. Zero, like he has, what is it, remorse? Like he doesn't give a fuck that he just lost the Super Bowl ring.
Yeah, why? Because they'll just get you another one. I don't care.
I care. It's not like I'm like happy I lost it, but I'm not like.
How do you lose? I mean, that seems such a hard thing to lose. Well, you don't lose it.
Somebody steals it. We have some video evidence.
What's the most expensive thing that I've lost or sentimental thing that I've lost? Because that thing's probably got to be more sentimental of a loss for you, right? Than like pricey. Yeah.
For sure. Yeah.
I mean, it's expensive too, but it's definitely the sentimental nature of it, which sucks. I think what's the most expensive thing i've ever like lost i mean you know what this is not this has this is not in price but it's funny you say that that red rocket was a nickname i did for like a tour and we had an artist draw this great piece of art and they made me like a custom red rocket hat and i love that hat it had two r's on it and i was racing out of my uber to the airport and I left that in the Uber.
And as I closed the door and I watched it drive away, I was going to miss my flight. And I was like, should I call this dude to turn around? And I like slowly was like, goodbye, sweet hat.
It killed me because it was like one of one. It was the only one.
And I was bummed. And that's, so whoever got in that Uber got my red rocket hat.
Yeah. That double R, please.
It broke my heart. It was a bummer because it was like one of one it was the only one and i was bummed and that's so whoever got in that uber got my red rocket hat yeah a double r broke my heart i was a bummer because it was like get it back to i love that hat man it was a one of one and it was a cool

gift from my buddy so that that sucked and that was like only a couple months ago but in the

history of like losing stuff i don't there's nothing that i've like uh the amount of times

i've left airpods somewhere is comical sure i've gifted the world seven airpod uh oh my god dude what i've left them so many places or they fall out of my pocket my car key is down there it's not even in my pocket it's like it fell out of my pocket mine mine definitely did yeah that's me it happens all the time the company is genius yeah dude i have an extra pair of brand new airpods at house right now just just in case just because i know i'm gonna lose it well i learned this i i lost my air pod in a seat of the airplane and uh the guy was like we can try to get it for you i got up off of the plane i waited they're like picking apart the seat the technician was picking it apart and then he goes i see it right there and i was like oh shit awesome and i go can you get it he goes no no chance i was like oh okay why did we wait what was the point of waiting but you know i don't know if you know this tip for everybody if you lose one airpod you can order a single airpod you don't have to buy yes i swear really i went to the apple store i asked him he's like no we can do a single order for one because this happened so much because I assumed I just needed to buy a new but he was like no no you can get a singular air pod so I went to the Apple store so shout out to Apple for that that was huge how much do you remember how much the single one was don't shout out for anything these assholes invented the most you're right dude Apple you're the worst you're the absolute worst unless of course you want a check. They have phones.
They could have unbreakable phones. They could use glass that doesn't break, but they purposely put it in glass that does break.
Okay, I'll combat that. I've never put a case on my phone.
Jason does the same thing. And I've never broken that.
Yeah, but I don't break them. I'm not a case guy.
I've broken it. I've broken it at least over 20 times.
Well, this has come from the guy that lost his Super Bowl ring, so this makes sense. I think this makes...
I just want you to know you're plugging Apple right now. Yeah, you're plugging them real hard.
Yeah, real hard. I might go to Apple and get a new phone now.
I won't leave it, though. I'm not going to leave them.
All right, Tito, you're one of the most famous gingers out there. Can you do a Mount Rushmore of famous gingers for us? Oh, interesting.
Very good. And you can put yourself on there.
to uh george washington the original ginger uh people don't know that george washington he had what my friend my friend my friend you are remembering mr washington in a wig yes he yes the wig was not his hair that was a wig he was wearing yeah um oh look it's george he was a redhead you can look it up. George Washington was actually a redhead.
Is there photo evidence of this? I don't know how many photographs were being snapped of GW, but- You can read up on it, I'm sure. Yeah, I think you can read some literature about it.
I would say, who else makes the Mount Rushmore of ginger leaves? I mean, I probably put Ronnie Howard up there, Opie Taylor, because I got called that a lot when I was a kid. The first school I went to in Chicago, all of the black kids called me Opie.
And I hated it because I didn't understand what it even meant. But then I thought, oh, that kid was cute from Andy Griffith's show.
That's nobody on this, and nobody's listening to the show knows what that is. Unless you watch Nick at Night.
Yeah, that's right.

That's right, baby.

That's my dad's favorite show.

My sister's over there.

She can attest.

My dad has watched more Andy Griffith episodes, right, than anything on earth.

It's disgusting.

She confirmed.

Yeah, it's absurd.

So I would say, let's give Ronnie Howard a shout out.

George Washington's on there.

I don't know.

Do you guys have any favorite gingers you like? It's pretty. That's.
I mean, we got a list of them.

Oh, let me see. Does Canelo Alvarez count? Yeah.
Canelo. I get called.
I'm I'm the. Yeah.
Canelo.

I get called Canelo sometimes. Prince Harry.
He's in limbo with me right now. No, I'm kidding.

Oh, yeah. Andy Dalton.
Shout out to Andy Dalton. Dude, he won me a free car, man.

Did he really? Yeah, he threw the ball

to me for a 15-yard touchdown

and the game was so ass

at the Pro Bowl that year that it won me

a free car. What kind of car was it? It was a

Genesis. And who has that?

I still have it. You do?

Dude, yeah. Travis? Kumar's out here sliding

around. It's a company car.

Yeah, Bill Burr's got to be up there 100%.

And let's give the other one to let's's say lindsey lohan for sure the og the lg we'll give it to her the lady gingers yeah she's making her she's making her second round in the biz she's coming back right she's making like another pop in a big way yeah i think i saw her uh she did a uh an irish movie actually not too long ago i think my wife Hallmark movies. She did one of those and she liked it.

Yeah, I saw the same one.

She loves Hallmark movies, man.

How about that?

Loves that, yeah.

Are you a Hallmark guy, Trav?

I am. You know, I dabble now.

Yeah, you do.

I dabble now.

Well, you like the cards, so you might as well like the movies.

Big fan of the cards.

Huge fan of...

Well, it's a Kansas City-based company, so...

Is it really? Hallmark?

Shout out. I'm throwing that out there.
I think it is it is though a piece of me thinks that's not true at all is it i know they are okay i've been there for fucking 11 years i see you all the time by now maybe that base there but i know it's big love their love their cards nice uh we've mentioned on the show that uh conspiracy theories help bring nfl locker rooms together where your your conspiracy theories? Oh, for stand-up? No, just period. You got any good conspiracies? Oh, my conspiracy theories.
Oh my god. They bring NFL locker rooms together.
Like Kyrie's Flat Earth? Yeah. He's not the only one that thinks that, but he's probably the most well-known.
What percentage of the NFL believes in flat earth, do you think? Dude, honestly, there's at least 10 guys, 10 to 15 guys in every locker room, I would have imagined. That are hardcore flat earthers.
I think if you took a truly anonymous poll, like nobody had to disclose their name or anything like that, I think you're over 15% of an NFL locker room. That's crazy.
What? I'm telling you. That's insane.
Dude, everyone gets hit in the head. It's unbelievable.
Yeah's an yeah that's true that's true you know i was telling this to his position coach about you know what percentage of guys and the position goes there's nobody on the team that actually thinks that within your shot of this conversation one of the guys said i mean how do you know it's not yeah man right on and you gotta let him fly with that you know what are the other conspiracy theories i believe in i mean i could it's an endless list i mean which one i mean they're all real and true uh the nfl is rigged that one's really good that one i love yeah that's a good one i've seen the script you've sent me one script i got one script yeah it was pretty good well it was the game you were coming to i wanted to make sure you knew what the script yeah because i was like i'm gonna have have to leave early and he Travis printed out like it like old uh like old MapQuest directions he printed out exactly what I needed to stay for well it's because we had the he came to the Broncos game last year that's right in Denver in Denver game we lost and we had to lose a few more for it to really look unexpected that we were going to win I even said to him I said I'm bringing my wife's family to the game. Can you take an L? This is the first time my wife's parents have ever sat in a suite.
Yeah. Let me call Goodell.
So he called everyone up and said if they would take an L and everybody was in. They were like, yeah, if you lose to the Broncos.
And if you notice, guys, if you rewind the footage, Travis, when the game is over, points up to my suite and just does a little wink and walks off the field. That one was a bummer.
I did not want to bother you. After the game was over, I was like, I will not be calling Travis.
I will not. I will not get him away.
I didn't even want to call you. I'm like, God damn it.
I got him tickets to this fucking trash ass game. No, bro.
It was such a good game. Well, my wife's parents had never, or my wife's dad too, he had never been in a suite at Mile High.
And he walked in the room and he was like, wow. And I go, isn't this awesome? Nice, dude.
And he turns to his left, and he goes, so much food. I was like, whatever you want, man.
You can have anything you want. Dude, I think if you clean that out, they'll actually bring another one.
They'll bring more, bro. It was awesome.
Yeah, we had a great time. Fuck yeah.
Before we wrap up, Andrew, floor's yours. Is there anything you want to ask us or say before we wrap this thing up?

Well, you know, I love you both and I appreciate you both.

And I'm happy that New Heights is New Heights.

It's because we sat in my house and your penis fell out a couple years ago.

And now you're in the podcast game.

I love you, dude.

And I'm happy for it.

And I wish you were here, Jay, but next time. We'll do it again next it again next time but that's it I got nothing else come see me on the road go to andrewsantino.com for the tickets and watch Bad Friends and Whiskey Ginger and I'll see you boys next time you know it the absolute best ladies and gentlemen awesome appreciate you coming on brother wrap this thing up Jason alright thank you to Andrew Santino for coming on the show.
This wraps up another episode of New Heights. Make sure you subscribe to the New Heights channel on YouTube so you know when all the new episodes are coming out.
We'll be back next week to talk about the NFL draft and whatever else we feel like talking about. Listen, subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
All right now. All right now.
Once again, New Heights presented by Wave Sports Entertainment and brought to you by Buffalo

the show on all social media at New Heights show.

I fucking hate being out there.

For fun clips throughout the week. Thank you to our

production crew. Thank you to the 92%ers.
We love

you guys and thank you to Cheeto

Santino for bringing the Jews.

Thank you. Thank you boys.

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