KC Goes Hollywood, Aaron Donald Retires and O-Line Reunion w/ Lane Johnson & Jordan Mailata | Ep 82

KC Goes Hollywood, Aaron Donald Retires and O-Line Reunion w/ Lane Johnson & Jordan Mailata | Ep 82

March 20, 2024 1h 26m S2E32 Explicit

92%ers we are back with another episode of New Heights sponsored by Experian. If you're looking to build your credit without adding debt, check out the Experian Smart Money Debit Card and Digital Checking Account.

In this episode, we've got a huge update about how to get tickets to our Cincinatti live show, the introduction of the first ever "Lombaby Games," and maybe the dumbest not dumb question about animal legs.

We also break down everything from the second week of NFL free agency including Hollywood Brown signing with the Chiefs, the Eagles bringing back CJGJ, and the guys react to Aaron Donald's retirement announcement.

And finally, we've got Jason's incredible conversatio with Lane Johnson and Jordan Mailata where we found out why Lane is always false starting, what it was like going from JUCO to the NFL, which guy has the saddest high school dating story, and more.

We will be back with more New Heights every Wednesday during the offseason so make sure you're subscribed to our YouTube Channel and wherever you get your podcasts so you don't miss a single episode and follow us on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok for all the best moments from the show.

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Full Transcript

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to new heights early and ad-free, plus unlock access to exclusive episodes of the show. Join Wondery Plus and the Wondery app, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify today.
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All right, let's talk about the holy grail of candy. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
That's right. You know them.
You love them. And let's be real, you probably have a stash hidden somewhere right now.
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That's right. That epic combo has been something that has been a go-to snack for many, no matter what they're doing.
And here's a pro tip from two Reese's Pros here. Try keeping your Reese's Cups in the fridge.
It keeps that chocolatey goodness goodness nice and chilled for you but be sure to hide it all the way in the back so nobody can take you you know what i'm saying can't have egg kelsey sneaking in there at 3 a.m stealing your stash that's right so why wait see why reesey's peanut butter cups are our favorite buy reese's Peanut Butter Cups now at a store near you.

Found literally anywhere you can find candy.

Bro, Aaron Donald is younger than me?

Yeah, no question.

Fuck.

Well, you guys came in the same year.

No, we didn't.

Yeah, you didn't.

He retired after 10 years.

I'm in my 12th year this year.

I thought he came in 2013 or 14.

14 would not be the same year.

He was 2014. This is blowing my mind dude i need to retire welcome back to new heights ladies and gentlemen presented by wave sports and entertainment for your host i'm travis kelsey my big brother jason kelsey out of cleveland heights ohio heights high alum over here in the Hall of Fame.
Heights High Hall of Famers over here. Cincinnati Bearcat alum as well.
We got some fun stuff coming up for all our Bearcat fans here soon. But subscribe on YouTube wherever you find your podcasts.
Follow the show on all social media at New Heights Show with 1S. Check out our official fan club at newheightshow.com, also with 1S.
We're going to keep trying to get these episodes to you every Wednesday, but we're getting out of the house, ladies and gentlemen. So I don't know.
I don't know if we're going to keep bringing these things to you every single week, but we'll see. We're going to do our best.
Jason, let the people know what the fuck we got. I'm sorry.
Trying to reel it back on the F bombs, but I'm just, it's hard. It's hard.
It's also like the intro too. There's like something with like the first amount of time.

If you do an F word,

the team has to like bleep it because it like demonetizes the video.

If it's like within two minutes or something like that.

I don't know.

Brandon knows more.

Anyways.

Yeah.

We got another fantastic episode coming up for all you 92 percenters.

We're going to talk about some big free agency moves that went down since the last recording,

as well as the latest Eagles and Chiefs signing news, and potentially the greatest day in offensive linemen's history, or at least the last 10 years. Aaron Donald is surprisingly retired from the NFL.
And yeah, we're going to get to a special episode on the back half of this. We're going to get to a special episode on the back half of this this we're gonna get to a special episode on the back half of this speaking of offensive line with jordan mylotta and mr lane stonewall johnson that's right now right now yeah i talk about the toughest guys to block why lanes always false starting even though it's not really a false start he's just jumping the snap but we'll get into that a little bit he's getting a good jump and yeah all right yeah and some thoughts on the uh new eagles coaches in that section so before we get to that portion uh let's get to a little bit of that new news coming in hot and cincinnati live show is in action ladies and gentlemen coming to the natty we're excited to officially announce we're doing a live show at the University of Cincinnati on April 11th.
During alumni weekend. Thursday.
We're going to be back hanging out with the football team. And, yeah, it's going to be a fun time.
The old historic Nippert Stadium. Might have to bring a coat for this one.
Maybe even umbrella. But we don't give a fudge.
Rats't give a fudge. Maybe better? If you haven't been to Nippert Stadium, it is a hidden gem in the world of college football.
It is such a beautiful goal. Travis and I spent our entire careers practicing and playing games, pretty much, on that turf and in that stadium.
Blood, sweat, and tears, boys. So we were thinking about maybe doing a stadium trip.
We didn't think there'd be any place better than the nippert stadium in cincinnati under the lights

baby get back there on the college campus the college the college students our teammates

faculty even though it's changed a lot it has changed a lot anyways okay what's your favorite

non-game memory from nippert stadium yeah i got i got a golden one my story is uh my story is

Let's go. though it's changed a lot it has changed a lot anyways okay what's your favorite non-game memory from nippert stadium yeah i got i got a golden one my story is uh my story is butch jones shout out to butch uh coach butch jones coach jones um decided to do a 5 a.m workout team workout everybody has got to get to the stadium and um we we ended up doing uh i think it was like a relay race of stadium steps.
Oh, my gosh, yes. Be shot.
And the anchor for the relay race are two. It's offensive line versus defensive line.
Two of the most athletic guys on the team, and that's Jason Kelsey for the whole line and Brandon Be Shot of Mills, man. just to give somebody everybody context two big high effort guys guys are fucking fine and you know what we're competitive at we're competitive people right no doubt cincinnati's stadium are really steep steps and then as it gets to there's like a point halfway through where it gets to longer steps like a par curve.
So it goes straight down and then kind of evens out almost and kind of like flattens out. And then it lets straight onto the field.
So it's not like a lip. It's like you're directly on the field.
So guys would go up, come down. Next guy would go up, come down to offense, and then Jason and B Mills are like neck and neck yeah basically brandon uh b mills we're coming down we're coming down real hot got caught coming real hot coming down the steep part so when it flattened out kind of like stumbled a little bit you got to be ready you got to get your balance ready and immediately started tumbling and when i tell you like the the metal benches you could hear his boom boom boom boom he just started tumbling down this thing and almost still almost like he almost beat you but he somehow got back onto his feet and when i tell you it was one of the most electric things I've ever seen somebody be able to do, just turn into a fucking barrel roll down stadium steps.
I'm sure that story wasn't as funny to you guys, but it was damn funny. Yeah, you got to picture it in your head.
Picture a 300-pound tackle. I mean, B-Shot definitely wasn't 300 pounds, but let's just

say picture a 300 pound defensive tackle

falling down a set of bleachers, like tumbling. It was the last time

they had us race down the... Never did it again.

Never did it again. Okay, can't do that one.
Okay, well, that's a liability concern.

Yeah, so anybody running those stadium steps, make sure you're ready for when it goes steep to flat. You got to be ready for that.
It'll catch you off guard. So those stadium steps suck because they were so steep at the top.
So you would think you were cruising through them at the beginning, and then as you went up, they would get harder and harder and harder. And then when you went down, like Travis said, you had to really know the steps would get narrower to wider wider to like, it was kind of tricky.
My freshman year before Trav was there, Dave Andrews and that strength crew used to do Friday morning workouts. And if anybody was late for the Friday morning workout, if you were inside, everybody was doing up downs until that person got there.
And if you were outside where you met on the stadium, sometimes we just meet straight out on on the field you would have to do stadium steps and the whole team would be doing it until

somebody went to the dorm and got the the person who was late and brought him there

and one day i woke up and i looked at my clock and i was like oh no i'm that guy that guy i'm that guy

in my street clothes and running to the stadium which in c the stadium is in the middle of campus and I'm running to try and get there and I just see them in the middle of stadium steps and I just start doing stadium steps like right out of bed and then they all take them into the weight room to actually do the workout at that point. And I had to do, like, just lap upon lap of stadium steps for, like, over an hour.
It was miserable. At the end of it, you're, like, not even – you're just, like, walking up steps, right? It's like, oh, dude, so miserable.
It's the best shit ever. Good stadium step memories right there.
Hey, if you guys want a good workout, though, those stadium steps do get you good workout. All right.
Let's back to the show. We're putting a live show on.
That's great. Before the show, we are going to actually be hosting a special event.
The Great Lumb Baby Games. That's right.
In honor of the Golden Baby Trophy, the Vince Lumb Baby, we are going to have a a little competition and we figured one of the beautiful things about doing this on a college campus is that you know it's just gonna be you you want the college atmosphere you want the students involved the student athletes involved yeah so we are going to have two teams of uc students i'm not gonna lie i. I got this idea from Revenge of the Nerds, football team

versus the nerds. Not saying the

non-athletic guys are nerds

unless you like to be called a nerd

and you value that.

I know I'm a nerd at heart.

I'm definitely a nerd. So yeah, we're going to have

two teams. UC students, the

athletic team, which is going to be comprised of

UC student athletes, and the academic

team. Still think we should call that team nerds.
That will compete in a series of challenges. We cannot wait to unveil these fun games that we have planned.
Yeah, it's going to be ridiculous. It's going to be so fucking fun.
There's going to be all sorts of things involved. Skyline Chili might be a cannon.
I heard today. Don't you do it.
T it tickets officially go on sale today march 20th at 12 p.m eastern head to gobearkats.com slash new heights to purchase yours these are going to go quick so uh be sure to get the tickets asap we also got informed that we could be breaking a world record really tennis book world record here uh for ticket sales ladies and gentlemen um the yeah the current uh Guinness world record for most tickets sold for a live podcast belongs to the Canadian comedy and comedian comedy and comedy and the amazing comedian Mike Ward he had an audience of 20,000, basically just under 21,000 in Montreal in July of 2022. Let's see.
Let's see what happens. Bearcats.
Cincinnati. Don't think we're going to hit that unless you guys fucking buy some tickets right now.
Why wouldn't you come? Why would you not come? I'll tell you.

The show's going to be fun.

It's going to be good.

I think we can beat it, 92%. Let's take new heights to newer heights

and break another fucking record.

I'm trying to break some records, man.

Going to be back at our alma mater,

back with the kids.

They're not kids.

They're grown adults.

Back with the adult kids,

partying, hanging out.

Who would be a good guest? We got to get some of our favorite Bearcats, would be a good guest? We gotta get some of our favorite Bearcats. Gotta get some of our favorite Bearcats.
Maybe even a few Bengals. Get the Cincinnati fan base in there as well.
We're open to suggestions. Maybe the Cincinnati mayor wants to stop down.
You guys can hash it out. I'm gonna have to hit my dog Orlando Brown, baby.
OB. Yeah.
92% and shoot us some of your favorite Cincinnati's that you want us to maybe shoot an invite to to get them on the guest show, man.

There we go.

If that even fucking made sense.

I think it does.

All right.

Well, let's talk about a little Jason Kelsey retirement.

And more new news.

Jason Kelsey, a pay homage T-shirt that I was wearing on our Philly episode has now raised over $120,000 fucking dollars in donations. And we can't thank you guys enough, 92%ers.
It's pretty damn cool. All proceeds and profits from this sale of this t-shirt benefit Be Philly, a nonprofit foundation fighting for a bigger future for the next generation

of Philadelphians. How about that?

You can still purchase one of these

shirts and give back to a great cause.

Just head to homage.com slash

Jason Kelsey. I'm sure you guys know

how to type that one in.

Shout out to homage, man. Always

making these things quick. It's a quick

turnaround right there, but that's definitely

a dope cause, man. Yep.
So shout out to the 92%ers, everybody buying those things. Yeah, shout out to everyone.
Homage for making them, partnering, and everybody for who's going to buy it and donating. Yeah, appreciate it.
Yes, sir. Alrighty.
It's time. What's time? For the segment we do every week.
Which one's that? It's not the smart questions. So it's dumb ass questions? It's, well, it is the smart questions because there's no dumb questions.
Ooh, nice. I like how you played that one right there.
All righty. It's time to move on to no dumb questions.
That's right, everyone. Because there's no such thing as dumb questions.
Just dumb individuals. No Dumb Question is brought to you by buffalo wild wings let's go sports bar from at brit slo britslow on twitter slash x is it ever going to be i'm not i'm on twitter if you had to swap your legs with the legs of any other animal which animal would you choose all right this is a dumb ass question uh what do we want to okay so do? So we're swapping legs.
Tell you which one I'm definitely not doing. Them knock-kneed ass ostriches.
Fucking going backwards and stuff. Why's that kind of knee? Are we going for power? Are we going for length? Are we going for speed? That motherfuckers are fast though.
So you want fast. Are we only doing two legs? Two-legged animals? Yeah, so I guess if we swap with a four-legged animal.
Do we lose our arms? These are great questions. Let's say for the sake of this question, we're just swapping our two legs with two-ish similar legs of a four-legged creature if you choose a four-legged creature.
Meaning we still have arms. Let's not compromise our opposable thumbs.
What the fuck did you just say? Like, if we go with a four-legged animal, we really still only have two legs, but they're kind of in the mold of the four legs. Who are you going with, dude? I don't know.
I don't know if I want power, if I want length, if I want speed, if I want strength. But like I said, definitely not ostrich.
I mean, you know, you can't go with something like a dachshund with them little short, stumpy things. No, you can't.
Definitely not a dachshund. Little wiener dog? You can't.
No. No way.
Or do we want to say you get the number of legs? Because then if you're a spider, you get eight of them. That's an insect.

That's not an animal.

Insects are animals, Travis.

Part of the animal kingdom.

It's got its own leg section.

Damn it, Jason.

Is that true?

Or am I wrong?

Animals, insects.

Maybe you're right.

I feel like these questions just find how dumb we really are.

Well, you just saw a rhino.

Rhino's got some powerful legs.

Dude. You saw that in person.
Yeah, that's four legs. You, you just saw a rhino.
Rhino's got some powerful legs. Dude.

You saw that in person.

Yeah, that's four legs.

You felt that girth in them legs.

Listen, I saw how bouncy that thing was.

It was bouncy?

Dude, that thing was like...

So like the rhino in Donkey Kong,

when you could like jump around like it

in Donkey Kong country,

that was like a legitimate representation of a rhino.

I swear, yes.

That's amazing.

All right, so you got tall ones. Like if you you wanted to be tall, you'd go like giraffe, right? I mean, you'd be a pretty good basketball player with some giraffe legs.
Wembeyama. He has giraffe tendencies.
If his neck was a little bit longer. You can't tell me that dude wasn't made in a fucking lab over there in France.
Is he from France? Yep. It says pituitary thing, probably.
100%. Yeah lion lab grown diamonds that's lab grown fucking nba player listen it's not far off let's be honest can't wait till i fucking make one don't do this do not give any of these other conspiracy theorists anything else to latch on to please.
So you want speed, cheetah right jason who are you going with i'm trying to like talk this out to see like where i'm going i don't know yet just gotta ask me you're not you're not offering anything you're right you've said no animals because i still don't know if we're counting four-legged animals in this we're counting all legged you go. You can go millipede.
How about that? All right. But if I lose my hands, I don't want to fucking do it.
You still have hands. You still have hands.
So if I switch with a four-legged animal now, I just look like one of the mythological creatures, like the man on top of a horse. If you have four legs, no.
If you have four legs. Man on top of the horse.
If you pick a four-legged animal, you're only taking the hind legs. Your front legs are still hind legs.
Okay, so only hind legs. Okay, but if you pick more than a four-legged animal, like an eight-legged animal or a centipede, then you have to give up your hands.
Don't worry, it makes sense. You'll get kangaroo jumping out the gym.
Yeah, but you need a tail. I'm telling you, I saw that thing live the other day.
You need a tail. So if you don't get the tail with it, it's fucking pointless.
Has there ever been a tailless kangaroo? No. No? Yeah? Nope.
One of them never got like chopped off or something? Maybe. They do balance on that thing.
Dude, they do a lot with that thing. I guess if I'm picking any animal's legs in this scenario, I'm going to go an elephant.
Ele got it's got height it's got power they're pretty fast what other animals got better legs than elephant not gonna lie i might go ostrich dude those things are fast man the knees go backwards travis you're asking for something bad to happen no taking some bird legs means you're gonna come at this thing with some bird legs dude not just of the fastest fucking birds you've ever seen in your life. It's fast because it's light, though.
You're not light. Those legs will crumple under the weight of Travis Kelsey.
Fuck. Yeah, you're right.
That knee direction only makes sense on something that's got minimal mass up top. Feathers? How much does the ostrich weigh? We got to digress here.
We're getting too dumb. We're going too dumb? We're going too dumb with it? Yeah, we're going too far dumb.
I mean, yeah, I guess you're in the range. 140 to 320 pounds is a male ostrich.
And if you took out your legs, you're probably in that range. Yeah.
Well, you're in the range already, but you're on the lower end of that range. If you take away your lower half mass and put some little ass ostrich legs on you.
Give me the man on top of the horse. No, we just said that.
You don't get to have... Minotaurs are not...
You don't get that. You're like...
I'll do horse legs then. You remember the movie Hercules? Okay.
Give me Clydesdale's. No take backs.
He took horse. You are like the mythological creature in Hercules.
The one that had like the little legs.

Are you talking about Pegasus?

I think he plays them.

No, it's not Pegasus.

I forget what it's called.

Not Pegasus.

It had goat legs.

He had a goat legs.

No, those weren't horse legs.

But same thing.

What?

No, you're the same thing, but you got horse legs.

I got to be short and stumpy like that?

No, you're still tall because it's horse legs, not goat legs,

but you only get the two.

So who'd you go with? You went with elephant legs? Ele crab legs would have some armor this was fucking so dumb let's keep this thing moving from rl baber on uh x no dumb questions if the chiefs play the eagles in the super bowl next year will jason root for travis um that's not the question. It says year.
Will Jason root for Travis?

That's not the question.

It says, who will Jason root for?

And I will root for the Eagles, of course,

because I will always be an Eagle, first and foremost.

First and foremost?

Yeah.

I'll also root for Travis to have a good game, of course, because he's my brother.

But no, I'll definitely be cheering on the Eagles in this scenario. Well, good luck.
Good luck to your Eagles. There you go, Baber.
Got what you asked for. That's the end of that question.
Yeah. From user Sideboob55, Club92.
Sideboob55. Guys, can we not make these kind of names on the Club92 website?'re making this look like a bunch of jimokes this is a shot at brandon or is this like is it does brandon does bg have some side boob do you got some all right whatever what contractual obligations do players have during the offseason like uh are dangerous activities off limits basically you can't get injured if injured.
If you get injured, you're fucked. Whatever you're doing, don't get injured and you're safe.
You can do whatever you want. Just don't get injured.
So just try and stay as safe as possible. If you get hurt at any point in the offseason, technically that ends up being considered what they call an NFI, non-football injury, and you are at risk avoiding any non-guaranteed money in your contract.
There are some players that enjoy doing dangerous activities where they will sometimes have things written into their contracts ahead of time. So let's say they're signing a player that is a known motorcycle rider.
They might write into the contract, if you get hurt on a motorcycle you are voiding future even guaranteed money there's that would be an addendum that a player might be signing there are also contractual obligations i guess for um workout bonuses so some guys that they want to show up to the facilities they don't know if they're going to show up up to the facilities for offseason workouts. They will put bonuses in there, sometimes up to five hundred thousand dollars to show up and lift weights and play in the sun with a bunch of your friends.
It's a pretty good deal. But other than that, it's like it's pretty self-explanatory.
If you could die doing it, like jumping out of plane, it's probably going to be frowned upon by the NFL. But it doesn't even have to do with that.
Like you could, this is where it gets weird with NFI. If you're lifting weights.
Outside the facility. That is still considered, like you could be trying to become a better football player.
You can still be labeled a non-football injury by these designations. I'm actually wish that they would kind of increase the parameters.
I don't think a guy that's training to become better should be penalized for getting hurt, but it's a very vague rule that oftentimes the clubs enforce them when they know that a player was doing something stupid, for the most part. Yeah.
There have been some horror stories. Tons of them.
It can get pretty bad. But basically, you just want to, one, make sure that you're always in shape and not getting yourself into a bad position.
But two, also, don't do dangerous shit where you could really fuck your shit up. Like we say all the time, you can be dumb.
be just don't be don't be too dumb don't be real dumb and i've been real dumb before it's been close real dumb to get you into jail that does it for no dumb questions brought to you by buffalo wild wings let's go sports bar thanks to our sponsor audible hey let audible expand your. That's right.
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I'm going to one-up Dan Harris. Yeah.
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Boyd in Ontario. Every big moment starts with a big dream.
But what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop? From Wondery and Atwill Media, I'm Misha Brown, and this is The Big Flop. Every week, comedians join me to chronicle the biggest flubs, fails, and blunders of all time, like Quibi.
It's kind of like when you give yourself your own nickname and you try to get other people to do it. And the 2019 movie adaptation of Cats.
Like, if I'm watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie. Find out what happens when massive hype turns into major fiasco.
Enjoy The Big Flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to the big flop early and ad free on Wondery Plus.
Get started with your free trial at Wondery.com slash plus. All right, a little free agency roundup part two.
That's right. We talked about some free agency moves last week on the episode.
And on this week, we're also going to talk some more free agency news.

Now, just to be forewarned,

this episode, the first half

is actually being recorded

Saturday before

this comes out. So we are going

to be behind on some free agency moves coming up

Saturday morning, to be exact. The 16th.

We are 9 a.m. Eastern and

Trav's over there 6 a.m.

on the West Coast. That's why we

like these groups. Early word

gets the bird. Early word

Thank you. We are 9 a.m.
Eastern, and Trav's over there 6 a.m. on the West Coast.
That's why we like the East Coast. Early word gets the bird.
Early word gets the bird. All right.
We're just jacked up on accelerators today, baby. All right.
We made it. We're here, and we're doing this fucking podcast.
But there have been some free agency moves that have happened since the last episode, and we're going touch on them right now starting with the Kansas City Chiefs. That's right.
Kansas City goes Hollywood. Woo-hoo-hoo! How about that? That's right.
Got my dial. The Chiefs have officially signed former Cardinals and Ravens wide receiver Marquise Hollywood Brown.
I'm fucking pumped, man. Per Adam Schefter, it's a one-year deal worth up to $11 million.
Big money. One-year deal for up to.
I always, so just for, so everyone knows. Break it down.
The wording of some of these contracts, a lot of the time, so the reason this says up to $11 million is either Mark Keese Brown or the Chiefs want to make it sound like it's an $11 million deal up to means it's not an 11 million dollar deal up to means he's got to be a pro bowler certain amount of catches certain amount of yards it might just be roster bonus you might just have to play every game i'm not trying to hate i just i don't like the way these contracts have started to get like sensationalized i hate it it's stupid it's every contract in any world. Listen, it's happened to me.
Everybody has incentives. Everybody has stuff in their line of work that they might have to meet.
So it's not. I don't have a problem with incentives, but it ain't an $11 million contract.
It's a $6 million contract with potential upside. That's not.
There is likelihood to be earned upside, unlikely to be earned upside. All I'm saying is they finagle these numbers to say what sometimes the player or the team wants it to say so that somebody can save face publicly.
Hollywood is going to get 11 mil because he's worth every penny and he's about to go crazy this year. All right, we'll find out.
I am marking you to that. We will find out.
Put a stamp on it. Either way, whatever the amount is, this is a big move for the Kansas City Chiefs.
It's awesome, man. Look at that pose.
I'm pumped about this one, man. A guy can absolutely fly.
Talk to my guys, my Oklahoma Sooners on what type of guy he is and everybody just raves about the person he is in the building. Saw him on Twitch streaming the day he signed or the day he confirmed it.
And he was having a good old time, man. I think it's going to be a great addition to the locker room as well as on the field, man.
I'm pumped to get in the building and get to work, baby. One of the best things was Coach Reed's text.
Hollywood ended up posting it on his Instagram.

Coach Reed texting him,

Hollywood, think red today.

KC Red with diamonds.

Woo-hoo-hoo!

Gosh, I love it. And of course,

Hollywood Brown in Hollywood fashion.

Yes, sir. Love the

sound of that. Think Hollywood

Brown. Lights, camera,

action.

There's one guy that knows a little bit

I'm sorry. Yes, sir.
Love the sound of that. Think Hollywood Brown.
Lights, camera, action. There's one guy that knows a little bit about Hollywood.
It's Andy Reid, baby. LA's finest right there.
This is impressive by Big Red. First of all, I didn't know people talk to each other like this.
But I think this is impressive by the big man. I didn't know Andy was such a diamonds guy.
He's a big diamonds guy. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Especially in the last five years.
Yeah. Did you know Andy was such an emoji guy? Of course I did.
I've texted him. He definitely uses the emojis.
Yeah. There should be an Andy Reid emoji.
We need to get that going. Andy Reid emoji.
Just got that little eyebrow. You got the one look where you're giving the look that you get a lot.
Give me that. Hey, what son why are you doing this what are you doing son we got to get the uh the the nuggies look the nuggies eyebrows up eyebrows down they could play that for the remainder of time and i'll still enjoy it every time he says nuggies man yeah before we get out of the out of the chiefs i believe um we also

re-signed um some guys we got my guy uh tarshan wharton back in the building baby turk there we go

also maybe derrick naughty i think we might have gotten naughty back in the building is he healthy

again yeah i mean not yet but he yeah he got banged up he got put on ir right before we won

the super bowl i know and as of today at 6 a.m we uh we still got luxurious need baby still there

I'm a... All right, now.
Let's keep the state moving to a little Eagles free agency move since we still want to talk about the fucking Eagles, even though Jason doesn't play for them. Let's talk about them.
Listen, I'm an Eagle for life. Yeah, Philly dogs, as they call them.
Get some more help on defense. Getting C.J.
Gardner Johnson back at safety is back in Philly, and he just signed a three-year deal with the Eagles. I don't know how you guys let him out of the building in the first place.
You want to talk about a dog? Maximum value of $33 million, and in Jason's contract understanding that $33 million will probably not be reached. Well, listen, you can say that a police officer is making $75,000 a year, or you can factor in all the double time he's working on, all the shifts that he could potentially try and take and say that he's making $200,000.
All I'm saying is, let's just say... That actually wasn't a bad...
Well, if you factor in that, if I've worked double time every single day of the year, I'll be making $500,000. Garner Johnson spent last season with the Lions, taking them all the way to the NFC Championship.
There's been some controversy around this among fans because CJ took some shots at Eagles fans back in 2022, including calling them obnoxious. But he's since addressed it, quote, I'm obnoxious.
I thought it was a compliment, to be honest with you. All jokes aside.
What is the definition of obnoxious? I was just in my feelings. When you want to be somewhere so bad to the point you can't control certain things, there was no meaning to it.
I'm back. Family reunion.
To add some, I guess, not clarity, but some insight into what happened in 2022, which I think led to what CJ is saying right here. CJ wanted to stay in Philadelphia, I think.
And things didn't work out in the contract negotiations the way he wanted them to work out, and I think he felt slighted by that. So he signed in Detroit, and I think this quote really has more to do with that than I think it does how he actually feels about Philadelphia.
And I was happy that he addressed it, and more important than that, I'm happy that he's back and that that is water under the bridge at this point because he's a phenomenal player. Not only is he a phenomenal player, but you know this, Travis.
When you play defenses, the best defenses have these guys, and even if it's just all of them out there, you need to have this mentality. It's not good enough just to be a good player on defense.
You have to have this, I mean, dog is the only way to put it, like this like killer instinct that, you know, it's like this impulsive, maniacal, fly to the ball, see ball, get ball, relentless effort, just attacking type player, right? And that's what CJ is. That's what he was when he was here that's what he was last year when he was in detroit and i can tell you right now um every building is happy to get this guy back because he's going to bring that to the defensive side of the ball which i think ultimately is going to help the philadelphia eagles defense this season that isn't the only signing that's right it's officially Howie season, and the Eagles have been making all sorts of moves.
Let's run through a few of them. You guys got Josh Sweat back.
He's staying put, restructuring his contract, despite interest from other teams that would have likely included a pay increase. So he just loves being a fucking Eagle, man.
I don't know what's been going on. Like Josh and Hassan Riddick have been the topic of a lot of trade speculation.
And, you know, there's a lot of speculation that either one or both wouldn't be on the team. It seems like with this restructure that at least Josh will be here.
And listen, Sweaty, Sweaty when he's feeling good. And Fresh is one of the best defensive ends in the league.
He's got great power, great speed, one of the best getoffs I've ever seen. A really, really good player that our tackles hate blocking.
So certainly happy that he's – it looks like he's staying in Philadelphia for sure. All right.
Well, how about Eagle signing former Bucs linebacker Devin White? Look at that. Talk about a guy with a dog mentality and flying around to the ball man that's one thing devon white can do and uh the eagles agree to a one-year 7.5 million dollar contract with former bucks pro bowler devon white who joins uh josh huff and uh zach bong as uh the third new eagles linebacker edition did i say that one right? Well, definitely Josh Hoff.
Dude, yeah, no. Obviously, had a bunch of games with Devin White between the both of us, man.
He's a downhill kind of guy. Just flies around.
Talks a lot. Talks a lot of shit.
Does he? No, I'm serious. I've played him a lot, too.
I've never got into that portion with him. Oh, yeah.
He has some fun playing the game yesterday, I'm sure. This is a guy that I actually don't think he's downhill.
I think he's more of like a... He's so fast.
He's one of these guys, if you put him in a position where he can run sideline to sideline and just run to the ball, he's going to excel. That's why he has so many tackles.
He's also great in the passing game because of how athletic he is. He's not going to be mismatched too often.
Is that fair to say? I mean, you know more about that than I do. I don't know if that's accurate.
I mean, we've gone, I think we've gone back and forth and had some great battles. He's gotten me on a lot of them.
I've gotten him on a few. So I think the key to this, like he's a, he's a phenomenal player, especially if you keep o-lineman off of him if the d-lineman could eat up some of these blocks or create penetration and let him run uh this guy is a phenomenal player and he's been that way since he's been in the league well you guys got former steelers quarterback can he pick it that's right he just can't leave the state of pennsylvania the guy fucking just loves pa man.
Grew up in the Philadelphia area, goes to Pittsburgh, and comes right back to Philadelphia. Man, this guy just loves PA.
We kind of talked about this last week with the Russell signing in Pittsburgh. We didn't know what was going to happen with Kenny.
And we said that, you know, I said, this is the quarterback is one piece. It feels like Pittsburgh is missing, right? Yeah.
So I don't know why it didn't work out for Kenny in Pittsburgh, but we've seen this before. Sometimes it's the fit, the system, whatever it is, he gets to have a fresh start now and come over to Philadelphia.
And obviously he'll be behind Jalen Hurts and he'll have an opportunity to learn and grow and play with some really, really good players. I mean, obviously, we talked about it last week.
The skill set of the guys on the Eagles roster is pretty star-studded. So, yeah, not only does he get to come back to his hometown, but he gets a fresh start.
We've seen this with other quarterbacks too. Baker just signed a $30 million a year deal down in Tampa Bay, and he's bounced around a few times.
It's interesting to see how sometimes one stop is a guy's doesn't work out, but all of a sudden he ends up someplace else, maybe a little Nicky Foles action. Ooh, Trigger Nicky.
That's a darn good fit. So hopefully this is a good fit, a better fit for Kenny.
And, you know, he can really maximize his potential in Philadelphia now. Kenny and the Steelers, their relationship ended in a little bad blood because Kenny is saying he preferred to move on.
All right, there we go. Wide receiver Devontae Parker signs a one-year deal with the Eagles.
that's where parker spent his first seven uh seasons in miami and the last two in new england if this is the devontae parker i know uh that uh i played against him at um no it can't be this is the devontae parker that was with the patriots yeah i'm saying i thought he was like the louisville guy i played in college but i don't think that's him. Yeah, he was Louisville.
There you go. Got a good memory, Trent.
Thanks. I don't know how that math adds up, but yeah.
What do you mean? He just finished his ninth season. He just finished your 11th season.
Oh, seven seasons, then the past two. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's him. So you guys just got a deep threat and a guy that can go get the football, man.
But even more news, Jake the Make Elliott signs a four-year, $24 million contract extension. Holy cow.
Jake the Make. I'm just finding out about this.
$6 million average. There we go, Jake.
Yeah. Ties him with Justin Tucker for the highest-paid kicker in NFL history.
I didn't know kickers even made that much money.

I'm not going to lie.

I mean, he's worth every penny.

Especially if you look at the kicks he made in clutch situations last year.

The Bills game after I false-started twice in a two-minute drill,

and he had to kick a 60-yarder to take it into overtime.

Very clutch and very appreciative, Jake.

That's big time. No, Jake has been an incredible kicker with Philadelphiailadelphia for a long time so he deserves every penny of this he really does yeah and couldn't happen to a better teammate better guy uh so happy for jake for sure way to go bubba shout out to little bo peep or what's it uh little what did they uh chicken bird chicken little chicken little we talked about Landon Dickerson becoming the highest paid guard in NFL history last week, but he was just asked what he'd buy with his first new contract, and he replied.
I don't know. I may go get a new lawnmower.
Some of them look at it too. Riding.
Yeah, Zero Turn. Zero Turn, baby.
Those Zero Turns are pretty fucking sweet. Jason, you got a Zero Turn? I do have a zero turn.
You've been on my zero turn. I have.
I didn't know that was a zero turn. There are a few things better than being on a zero turn.
It's a fun afternoon, for sure. How fast you got that thing going? I don't know.
I don't think mine has a mile per hour. It definitely doesn't have a mile per hour thing on it.
You got to water boy that thing, tune that thing up. You got to get one of them baseball.

Ooh, sometimes the cops on our street.

You got to get Vicky Vallick on it.

Sometimes the cops on our street will put one of those mile per hour things just to gauge the traffic.

You're caught in a whole different realm right now.

And she showed me her boobies, and I liked them.

That was a spot on impersonation.

Shout out to Sideboot55.

Shout out to Waterboy.

Golly.

I mean, it does remind me of what's the guy that doesn't really uh yeah what is that coach give me yodo i can't remember that coach's name landon's a big uh do-it-yourself guy he's he's a gearhead he's always working on trucks um or vehicles of his nice loves doing work around the house he shows me little projects he's done throughout his house that brooke his wife always puts him up to and he acts like he doesn't really want to do it but in my head i'm like dude you just built a whole set of cabins i think you're kind of into this all right so this is uh this is beyond a talent at this point no landon's a man well first off let's take a let's a minute and admire Landon's lawn here. He's got the diamond cut going on right here.
Looks like a Major League Baseball outfield right here. That's pretty damn good, man.
It's gorgeous. Some good stuff right there.
Shout out to Landon, man. Who would have knew he was such the handyman? I did.
He's also got a flamethrower. He's pretty dope.
Well, now Cam has a flamethrower, too.on's yeah dude landon's into all this stuff whenever i have a question regarding any of it i ask landon and he usually doesn't help me for whatever reason he acts like he doesn't know he's talking about because i know he does but sorry hey landon spread the spread the freaking word ben help a guy out congrats uh landed on your new lawnmower uh in more news around the league uh let's move on to uh some other news around the league let's do it Aaron Donald announces retirement um this isn't just I mean this ain't news this is like this is sensational news Donald Day forever? Listen, I don't do the days. After 10 years in the league, Rams defense tackle Aaron Donald has officially decided to call it a career.
And man, what a career it was. What a legendary career, man.
He announced his decision on social media accounts. Cheers to what's next, extending a big thank you to the Rams and all of your fans for your support over these last 10 years.
Much love. This is the most iconic defensive lineman really since my time in the NFL.
Aaron Donald made the Pro Bowl in every year he was in the NFL. All 10 years.
You know the only other player to do that? You. No.
Barry Sanders. Damn, that's pretty good.
They're the only two players in NFL history to make the Pro Bowl in every single season they played in the NFL. Both 10-year players, too.
Retired at 10 years. But I got to set this record, Shane, because I see a lot of people on social media, as they list all of Aaron's sacks against quarterbacks, people are like, never had a sack against the Eagles.
Like, oh, the Eagles had your number number we double teamed him and triple teamed him every single game all right he is the only defensive tackle we have ever gone up against where the entire game plan is situated on not having him ruin the game the only one i don't care if it was a five down front i don't care if there's a blitz happening over there we are are double teaming Aaron Donald. That's the way we played him.

There was not another player that was treated in that light.

Not a defensive end, not a defensive tackle, nobody.

Not even Micah Parsons.

We did help out Micah a lot too.

Micah's very good.

But I'm telling you right now, this guy should have had better numbers.

It's like, it's crazy to talk about.

There was so little times he was blocked one-on-one. I did see a couple clips of Joe Thune in the Super Bowl.
Joe Thune, he got it done twice. I mean, just an absolute bulldog of relentless energy, power, speed.
Skill. The guy had everything.
In my mind, he's the best defensive player. And I don't know that it's particularly close over the last decade i really don't i gotta get i gotta get this footage of us playing him in los angeles uh back in like 2014 or 15 yeah and i'm outside the hash and he's like let's say it's on the right the ball's on the right hash he's playing nose guard or, or he's playing interior line, either over the guard or the center, and I'm outside the left hash.
I'm like a good 10 yards away from the guy. Got it.
On the snap of the ball, he comes and V-lines to reroute me and fucking throws me basically off the field yeah no i mean listen completely fucking ruins the play i come off the field like looking at everybody like did you guys just see what fucking happened to me i just got just got abused by somebody i had no idea was coming and he's the biggest son of a bitch on the field man the absolute house of a dude, man. I mean, it's not even that he's the biggest.
It's like he's not that big. Bro, what do you mean? The guy, look at the...
He's chiseled, but he's... I mean, I don't think he was over 300 pounds.
Maybe he was. Like, this is just a dude that was so much more explosive and powerful than anybody else.
It was unreal how good he was. And I really...
That's that's why i say it like this is not a shot at any other defensive player that i played in the league because a lot of them were quite a bit better than me there's no question about it like i don't even like people like talking shit to the guy because i'm like y'all have no fucking clue how good this dude was like i we he didn't have a sack against the eagles because were, like, it was the entire game plan. We didn't care about another player on the field, and that's just the God's honest truth.
It was, where's 99 at? We're slotted to him. One time this last game, Landon got stuck on him because I thought he was out of the game.
He kind of snuck into a position that I didn't know he was still on the field. He's sneaky.
That's how he got me. He's sneaky.
And Landon said, so we're not going to 99 anymore? One play. Guards would go into the games like you could tell during the week.
They're like, okay. Yeah.
Oh! He's over here. We're running over there.
He's over there. We're sliding over there.
Shout out to AD. No, it was unbelievable career, brother.
Unbelievable. If you want to win one more Super Bowl, we'll probably have some availability somewhere in December.
And as for the debate for, like, GOAT defensive tackle, I don't like comparing across, like, generations. I think it's too hard.
You know, John Randall, like, all of these guys that played inside. John Randall.
John Randall's a very infamous defensive tackle, played for the Vikings. But there's been a lot of great defensive tackles.
Warren Sapp. I know this.
He's the GOAT from when I was in the league. I firmly believe that.
Yeah. Lastly, Mikey Vrabel's going back to the O-H-I-O, baby.
Let's go. Going back to Northeast Ohio.
Coach Vrabel is headed back to Northeast Ohio. And I'm sure.
Walsh Jesuit's finest. That's right.
That's right. Per Adam Schefter and Field Yates, the Cleveland Browns are hiring former Titans head coach Mike Vrabel as a coaching and personnel consultant.
which I think this makes sense because Jim Schwartz, who's the defensive coordinator right now, he was just in that position in Tennessee for a couple years before he accepted the Cleveland Browns job last year. So now those two get to be reunited in Northeast Ohio, some plays Coach Vrabes is very familiar with.
It's a great fit for the guys. Smart dude.
Smart dude, man. He understands all facets of the game.
To be teamed up with Schwartz, that's going to be dangerous, especially with the players that defense already has. You give a guy like Myles Garrett a great coach like that, not saying that Schwartz or anybody they already have at the D-line position or in that coaching staff isn't good enough.
But you get Vrabes in there, man. He's making everybody better, man.
Yeah, I still think there's a situation where Vrabel's not going to add value to being involved in the organization. And how much he'll be involved with players or how much he'll just be involved on the back end with Schwartz and the coaches, who knows? Vrabes has been around everything.
It's so weird. He played in a 3-4 New England-style defense for the majority of his career.
Then all of a sudden he's gone to some of these four-down looks. Tennessee's gone to a little bit more of a four-down defense.
And now he's with Jim. And it's not only is it a four-down, but it's not what he did.
I mean, he's a two-gapping, big, you know, bow, hitting the – Oh, yeah. I'm coming.
Yeah. I'm changing the line of scrimmage here.
Yeah. Now this is the Jim Schwartz jet technique, get off the ball with a phenomenal defensive line.
So, yeah, I think this is just another thing that speaks to his versatility as a coach and a defensive consultant will add a lot of value there. Yeah.
I don't know how he didn't get a head coaching job i mean organizations yeah it's weird silly yeah even that i don't know i think it's i think it's hilarious um he's a proven leader he's a proven um you know a proven coach that almost almost a joke by his players but still has that that balance of being loved and also holding players accountable. He's a phenomenal head coach.
And it's odd not to see him as a head coach. He'll do this for who knows how long.
And I'm sure there's going to be something that's going to open up pretty quick for Coach Fraves. Real quick.
All righty. Let's get out of the house, Trev.
Let's do it. That's right.
It's time to talk about everybody's favorite segment, Out of the House. Be careful getting out of the house.
You might get a cold. Jesus.
I got toddlers, Travis. I've been sick all year.
I just hooked up too. This is bad.
Out of the House is brought to you by Accelerator Active Energy Drink. Woo-hoo.
Trav, you got out of the house this past week and went to a Justin Timberlake concert. Honestly, everybody knows I'm a huge JT fan.
Been so cool meeting him out in Tahoe and playing some golf with him. I'm even going to try and get to his golf outing out in Vegas here in a couple weeks.
But it was cool to show up and see him in his one night only out here in Los Angeles, California.

I forget the venue that he was at, but he's got a new album that just came out. Everything I Thought It Was.
Make sure you check that thing out. Yeah, baby.
JT always makes unbelievable music. Yeah, he was playing a bunch of renditions of his old classics.
Absolute bangers. It was so cool to see him play some of my favorites, man.
And then uh on top of that a handful of his new stuff as well as uh his new hit single with uh with in sync that's right they uh they teamed back up uh for a song called paradise on his new album so make sure you check out the album check out uh the new song with uh with his his boys yeah man it was a it was a fun fun evening i mean i can't i complain. Anytime you can see Justin Timberlake perform, I suggest you buy the ticket, man.
He's the fucking best. Alrighty, that's it for All The House, brought to you by Accelerator Active Energy Drink.
Kylie, can you grab me one of the accelerators? Do you mean the accelerators that are right here? Alright, now let's get to it. Jason's conversation with Lane Johnson and Jordan Malata from Las Vegas.
Hell. Just for some background, 92%ers, this was taped before Jason made his retirement announcement.
So, Jason, Lane Jordan, take it away, boys. Thanks for joining me.
And from Las Vegas, Nevada, the offensive tackle out of Groveton High School, East Texas. He was second team All-Big 12 coming out of Oklahoma, the fourth overall pick in the 2013 draft for the Philadelphia Eagles.
Five-time Pro Bowler, Super Bowl champion, Walter Payton Man of the Year nominee, and your starting right tackle for the Philadelphia Eagles. Please welcome to the show, Mr.
Lane Johnson, everyone. Hey.
I love you, Lane. I love you.
And making his second appearance from down under on the New Heights this season, the Australian rugby sensation star of the Eagles Christmas albums. And of course, your starting left tackle for the Philadelphia Eagles.
Please welcome back, Mr. Jordan Milano.
How's it going, guys? How's Vegas treated you so far? So far, so good, hey. So far, so good, hey.
It's been good. We had an interesting night last night.
We're recovering right now with our IVs and getting ready for another day. You're nominated for the Walter Payton Man of the Year, largely for, obviously, your openness in dealing with mental health and that space, as well as helping families of veterans.
Yeah. What's it been like? How's the week been? I know Cam Hayward ended up winning the award.
But for those of you that don't know, only 32 people get nominated across the entire NFL every season. Each team gets one person.
Lane Johnson was the Eagles nominee this year. Long overdue.
What's it been like been like no it was cool um got to meet the peyton family talked to all the guys and then uh yesterday so it's the day of the ceremony everybody's wondering you know who's who yeah because usually you get time to prepare a speech and so apparently cam uh when he got called there was no speech ready so he went up up there. So he didn't know.
He didn't know.

I thought that they at least tell the guy who wins so he's got something prepared.

That's what I thought, too.

That's what I heard.

This year it was a complete surprise.

Shout out to Cam.

Yeah, being put on the spot.

Being put on the spot.

That was impressive.

And the winner gets announced at NFL Honors.

How was NFL Honors?

Was it pretty good?

No, it was cool.

It's Vegas.

It should be pretty good.

They had a nice little VIP set up. Got to meet the guys.
Keegan-Michael Key hosted it. Yeah.
So, yeah, I got to talk to him. But, yeah, just got to see a lot of the guys.
Legends walking around. Got to see Bruce Smith last night.
So, just, you know, Julius Peppers. Hey, he might be 340 right now.
He's huge. I have never seen Julius Peppers outside of football.
but on a football field, he was the largest human being in all these cats. It's crazy.
His head was enormous. It's crazy how he was able to play basketball in North Carolina, too.
Yeah. He had to be weighed.
What did he weigh when he played basketball, you think? I don't know. He looked like he was.
270? Yeah, 270, 280. Bruce Smith was giving me crap for taking my shirt off in Buffalo.
He didn't like it. He didn't like it? Whoa.
Why not? Yeah. He's like, I didn't like that.
I appreciate that. Nobody takes your shirt off except me.
Fucking Jim Kelly. And then, Jordy, when did you get in? Tuesday night.
Tuesday night? Yeah. You're obviously feeling a lot better than Lane.
Lane and I have IVs in, for those of you that can't see or didn't notice. We're in Vegas, and it's all about health here.
So we decided to make sure that we're nice and hydrated. Jordy's just going for pure adrenaline.
I didn't drink enough. Pure caffeine.
I didn't drink enough, so I just need a little pick-me-up. So thank you, Accelerator.
There we go. Let's start off with this.
Lane, can you tell the world once and for all why you are always false starting? Oh, my God. My coach tells me things.
I think all the 49ers fans out there are chopping at the bit to ask this question. So, coming into the league, I saw his articles of false start, me getting away with it, and I was like, it's about to be a long season.
Yeah. And then I guess they mistook me for Juwan Taylor.
Shut up. Shut up in the Super Bowl, Juwan Taylor, yeah.
As you know, if we're late off the ball, the defense in the end likes to get the tackle turned, and then a lot of bad things happen. So if we're not, you know, 100-meter dashed at first, 10, 20 isn't looking good, you're going to lose the race.
So that's how I see it. When I got here, JP was the master at it.
I was always slow, and they never called him. But he had a good way of talking to the refs.
One of the biggest mistakes that every young player makes is not getting off on the snap count. And that's your – any rookie, like Stout of Puttin Lane on the spot.
That's what I'm learning. You put in – you learned it from JP, like you said.
Yeah, but the most important thing for any player is getting off on the snap count. What do you think doing all these reps for 10 years with one person, you might have an advantage of the defense? I think so.
I think so, yeah. It's a circle of line.
The other thing that drives me crazy, especially with you, is when they do it in slow motion. Because when you do it in slow motion, it looks like it's a worse difference than, when you watch it in real time, most people can't tell it.
They need to just put a laser on my foot and a laser on your hand, and that's going to be the best way to do it. If you wanted to legitimately try and do that.
But, yeah, there's about five of them that got away with Tampa Bay earlier. And there was one in the Sanford game where I was actually late.
You were on time on the snap count, which that probably would have been a false start. But for everybody out there, if you're late off the snap, it doesn't matter what you know, what you can do, you're done.
You got to keep the defensive end in front of you if you want to block them. Yeah.
Once he gets to your edge, you're fucked. Yeah.
Yeah, short pocket, booze, or sell signs in your house. Who's the hardest guy you guys have had to block? Who's the best and what makes him the best? Vaughn, Micah.
I didn't say Micah. Micah took another step this year.
He's been great, but he was even better. Slippery.
I think just like the best is Miles just because he can move like a Parsons,

but he's 280.

Strong.

And when you see some of how it's been and his angles he can get to,

he's like, whoa.

He looks like something from another planet.

Would you rather play a player with incredible speed and agility

or a player with incredible power? Which one is the one you'd rather face? I would rather face power. Yeah.
Power. Because you know what they're going to get, and then eventually they do wear down by the end of the game, so it's not as effective.
Yeah. Most guys – well, that's the other thing.
Yeah, you can only do power so much. So much.
And so once it – Speed, it can happen every time.

Yeah.

Most guys don't have power and speed to like that extent.

Like if you have extreme power, usually that's your – that's what you're doing.

Miles got both.

That's what I'm saying.

There's two guys that can –

Miles.

Miles Garrett.

Oh, yeah.

You're right.

There's a few guys that can set the edge and be a pass rusher.

Like I think Cam Jordan was a great example.

Yes.

All those years.

Yes.

Just because he's 290, was doing all these things. Dwight Freeney just got inducted into the Hall of Fame.
Congratulations, Dwight. Yeah.
Speaking of Dwight, my shoes were untied on the play. He tied them up.
He tied them up with a spin move. I wound down on the ground and touched my toes.
I just tied my shoes. That is funny.
That's funny as hell. All right, let's get to your guys' paths to the NFL.
Jordan, when you were on last time, we talked about your path lane. You also had an interesting path to the NFL.
So about your journey, you started with the Eagles in 2013. But before that, you didn't just start at Oklahoma.
You started at JU juco you were a quarterback in high school you ended up moving off into line what your sophomore or junior junior year uh what was that like what was that transition like yeah so the quarterback um you know i got that offer from kilgore i got an offer from rice uh rice wasn't a big football school so i wanted to go to kilgore to try to go to division one then once i got to oklahoma um i was a tight end right away and so that was probably my toughest transition because i went from qb and then i'm in training camp with the team and i don't know anything i'm just getting tossed you know you have jerry mccoy out there trent yeah sam and so yeah uh first year was tough when i redshirted and then then, like, my second year, like, I played some tight end, then I got moved to D-In. And then during that spring, so I moved to tackle.
But when I moved, I felt like it was natural. I felt like it was basketball to me.
Howard Mudd, one of the first things you always said, pass pocket is just playing basketball. And so when I was growing up, I mean, I played primarily basketball, and then I got serious about football in high school.

Well, primarily you were a redneck, right?

Yeah, exactly.

You're really.

What is it about JUCO?

I've never talked to you about this.

What is it about JUCO that makes guys, like, I don't know if loyal is the right word.

I feel like everybody that went to JUCO, went on to a big university, went on to play in the NFL, they speak more about their time at JUCO than even their time at university. Probably you see like as talented players as Division I, like a lot of them are Division I transfers, can't make the grades.
Yeah. So a lot of talented athletes, but I think the thing is, it's just a damn survival pretty much there.
The coaches are all trying to be somewhere else. Everybody else is trying to be somewhere else.
And you're there for a few short months. And, yeah, I mean, it's just chaos.
What was the Netflix deal that – Last Chance U. Yes.
It's literally like that. It's a lot like that.
Now, some ran a lot better. You know, coaches aren't acting like that.
Yeah, well, some of that was for the cameras, right? Yeah, exactly. But very competitive.
But, yeah, just guys are trying to, you know, obviously it's a stopping point of where they're trying to be. So, yeah, it's stressful.
My first game was against Jason Pierre-Paul and Levante, David. In Juco.
In Juco. They played for Fort Scott.
Now, you were playing quarterback, though. I was playing quarterback.
How'd that go? Yeah. So, we look at the depth chart Did you have some good tackles? So we look at the depth chart.
It says DN66280. I said, what the fuck am I about to walk up here? And that's when he was doing all the somersaults.
So he did 21. He probably had about 21 pressures that game, too.
But, yeah, man, it was fun. A lot of tremendous athletes.
I feel like the skill athletes, receivers, all transfer well. The line's a little bit, you know, not as good.
Yeah. Skilled athletes are, you know, pretty common.
Well, you moved to offensive line Oklahoma. What did you – how did you feel about – I know you said you felt natural at playing the position.
I didn't remember. But I feel like there's a mentality of the offensive line.
How did you fit in with the room? How did you feel?

Well, I just remember after playing all the skill position,

I remember being in practice and watching these dickheads sit there.

I'm like, these guys here have the fucking life.

And so the linemen, this is back when I was playing tight end.

Like I'm running all these routes and I'm looking at all these guys just blocking rest, you know.

Oh, dude.

And then.

You fell for it.

Yeah, so initially when I moved.

You fell for it. You fucking.
Yeah, I mean, yeah, I fell for it. Yeah, I didn't mind the change.
I wasn't playing, and then I started to play, and then, yeah, just pass pro was like pass blocking to me. And then one of my buddies, Gabe, he was tied in when he got there and moved to center.
Yeah. So went from like, you to 300.
Yeah. So, that was really it.
You went from 260 to 300? No, he did. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, so I was probably like 280. So, I was already big.
And then, yeah, I started past that. So, I wouldn't even start and go into my junior season.
Darrell Williams, he ended up playing like eight or nine years in the league. Ended up spraining his ankle.
Yeah ankle. Yeah.
So I finished that game. Then my first start was against Florida State.
That's a good one. I had a rough first half.
Do you remember who you were playing? Bjorn Warner was the – Bjorn Warner, okay. So I had a rough first half, and then after that did well.
But I remember when I was interviewing with the Chiefs – I was interviewing with the Chiefs and they would turn on the more worst place.

I was like,

what's going on here?

I said,

looks like I'm getting

my fucking ass whipped up.

They liked that answer.

That was at the combine.

That was at the combine.

So was this like a,

is this like a you decision

to go to the O-line

or like did the coaches

talk to you?

Yeah, it was me.

You know,

I was going to be

a rotational guy at the end

and so I could play. Our other starter tours, you know, I was going to be a rotational guy at the end.
And so I could play.

Our other starter tour is, you know, MCL, ACL.

And so there was nobody really there.

And so it just came natural and then moved to left.

It's a hungry dog right there.

I had Trent there.

I had Donald Stevenson.

So I had some good players.

So, yeah.

No, I never thought I'd be playing online.

Probably like you, you know, going to college as a linebacker. Yeah.
You know, it's one of the last positions you – You ever think you're going to play. Yeah.
When you got to Philadelphia, you drafted the fourth round. What are your first impressions of Philadelphia? That's kind of a scary city.
Scary city? Why? No, I'm just talking about the fans are intimidating. Yeah.
I don't know. You see a big mob like that, all that energy.
You're just like, damn, I want them on my side. But then, you know, the more you play and the more they see you, your personality and what you're about, then you win them over.
Yeah. But, you know, you got to put in your due time.
Yep. But, yeah, no, obviously I was happy about coming here.
Thought I was going to go to the Dolphins. Had a good workout with Stout.
That was interesting. What pick? Dolphins with third pick? Third pick.
Yeah. So, they took Deion.
Yep. But I thought Chip was going to try to get Deion.
I think that's what they were trying to do. So, you thought they were going to trade up.
Yeah. Get Deion.
Yeah. But yeah.
I mean, got in. I had a lot of great vets.
Some interesting characters. And I've been there ever since.
What were your first, speaking of vets, or I guess I wasn't a vet at that time, but what were your first impressions of me? First of all, I saw your hair. I was like, whoa.
I like the hair. I had long hair.
Insert the picture. He had a good beard.
I know your first impressions of Travis were. I saw his hair.
I was like, he looks like fucking Phil and Deal from the Rugrats. You know what I'm talking about? Yes, yes.
Because I didn't know he kind of came in late to the combine. Yeah.
I saw you, I think, yeah, so it was OTAs and we were doing some drill and I saw you fucking throw your helmet like a discus. Yeah.
And I said, hey, I like this guy. I like this guy's intensity for the game.
Yeah, but like with every great player, there's always traits. Guys, the reason why they're so good is because they have an undeniable passion for the game.
There's a certain intensity about them that, you know, they have to be the certain player. There's no other way.
Yeah. But we had a lot of those guys.
We did. So, the culture was set.
You know, they had guys before them. So, I feel like thought just the culture that i came into was really good whereas a lot of rookies don't get that you know jordy you came in in 2018 yep what were your first impressions of lane i didn't know what to expect you know walking into an nfl locker room but uh when i met lane i thought he was the funniest motherfucker in the world did What was I doing? Bro, you're just doing what you want to do.
You're just being yourself. Just bringing like.
We're going to get to it. We're going to try.
I'm just going to start rattling off guys. And I'm going to start letting you just.
First thing that comes to your head. There's nobody.
Yes. On the planet.
Yes. That can freaking do lookalikes like doppelgangers.
Accents. Yeah.
Impressions. It's impressive.
It's a very useless knowledge. See what I mean? This is what I walked into.
It's got me in stitches. Why couldn't it be mathematics? You know your ankles.
I pick my ankle and I run. I pick my ankle and I kick set.
You just talked about makes a great trait for every offensive lineman and intensity and passion for the game. Somebody that has tremendous passion and intensity that was also in the room, that really set the tone for the room and still sets the tone for the room, is Jeff Stowlin.
This is an Eagles offensive line podcast, and it wouldn't be complete without talking about Stout. When did you first meet Stout Lane?

I think I might have met the combine.

And so, you know, he's doing the ankles, you know,

asking all these questions.

You did the test.

I did the test.

And then, yeah.

And then, so when I really got to really meet him was whenever he came to

my hometown, we have one cafe there. You have one cafe? Yeah.
What's it called? Two cafes now. The County Seat Cafe.
County Seat. What's the best thing on the menu? It's right by the courthouse.
Probably chicken. I mean, they have everything.
But what's your favorite, though? I like chicken fried steak. They'll have green beans, mashed potatoes, gravy.
Just a regular diner. Sounds great.
Texas toast. Regular Southern dyno.
Anything to make your blood pressure go higher than what it just read on that.

So, yeah, he came in.

He's like, yeah, your town's got fucking dirty spoons, bro.

I don't know.

And then my stepdad's up there talking shit to him.

It was like a real life My Cousin Vinny.

Yeah.

And then, as you know, he gets on the board and, hey, what's this?

What's this? Erase it. And I draw it up.
That's not what I drew up. Then we go outside and do the drills and all that was, you know, all that was fun.
Yeah. So, yeah, Winchester was with me then.
My buddy who's alongside for the Chiefs. So, he was out of the league for like two years.
And I was like, stop this guy. This guy can snap the ball pretty.
So, Dornballs gets hurt in the preseason, and then Winchester comes in. That's right.
I forgot about that. Yeah.
He goes to Kansas City. He's been there for a while.
That's awesome. Yeah.
When I'm trying to describe a Stout meeting, it's like Robert – no, Al Pacino on any given Sunday, the locker room speech before they run out. Every meeting is intense.
And then pop quiz time, he'll ask questions. Cold questioning.
When you're not listening, he likes to call Landon a lot because Landon, sometimes he'll know it, and then sometimes he'll be playing. He calls Landon a lot because Landon's on his phone.
And he can see. Stout's like that teacher in the front of the class that you think you're getting away with it, but he's got eyes in the back of his head.
And he can tell. And he can see.
Stout's like that teacher in the front of the class that, like, you think you're getting away with it.

But he's got eyes in the back of his head.

And he can tell.

And he's just going to be, you know, all right, this week we got Dice Right.

What are our kills out of our Dice Right plays?

Landon.

And then Landon will pop his head up.

You don't call on Fred. No.
He's not awake. He has a condition.
Whatever you did in that first meeting, you nailed it. Because.
Yeah, no, I was a good athlete. That's what they're looking for.
Stout before the draft. Like even, you know, we knew we were picking fourth.
But you were the guy. I if you know if you had any input or if you were looking at guys in i watched your combine the 40 gets the big and you ran an unbelievable 40 you ran a 471 it's more about the it's more about all i i i think 40s are so and everybody knows this is so overrated for offensive linemen but watching your lateral movement, watching your feet.
Doing the drills. You are the most fluid.

And, you know, I like fluid athleticism. And I think when you see a big guy as big as you were, be able to move as fast and as smooth as you are.
That's a, you know, you got, I mean, it ain't that hard, right? Like, that's a, those are good traits to have. And I think that you had a great often you had a great uh offensive tackle class there's joe colfisher you was armstead same year as you said was there yeah baktiari was there yeah so there was there's a lot of great players but i remember in particular stout and i talking about you and right after the combine and yeah i didn't have any input he was just yeah lonnie was in on that too so he's just he's all about guys that after the combine.
Yeah, I didn't have any input. We were just – Yeah, Lonnie was in on that too.
So, he's all about guys that can persevere, go through adversity. Like you, JP, him, any guys that has any sort of, you know, different background to him, I feel like he likes.
But as far as me, like us, you can get a guy on the field and tell if he can play. Like an OTA is in about five minutes, two minutes.
I mean, I feel like the guys that are a little bit more, if a guy's going to be a beast, it's pretty evidently. Jalen Carter, first pass rep.
We got boys. Even Landon.
Landon was hurt, but you could – well, first of all, he's in there fucking throwing around 405. Yeah, when he's hand-cleaning 405 and, like, jumping while he's doing it.
Any guy that has back hair that you can grab, you can probably hand-clean over 315. You're going to be strong as shit.
Jordan, you did an impression of Stout when he was on Lane. I think it's only fair that you give it a try.
Let's see your impression game, Lane. Stout? Stout.
I love Jeff McLean. I don't know, Jeff.
I don't know. Shout out to Jeff McLean.
Hey, Bert, you got to put that clip on. Yeah.
There's an old press conference with Stout doing that exact quote. We got to find that one.
We'll see how accurate that impression was, which I think was pretty inaccurate. I love Jeff McLean.
I don't know, Jeff. I don't know what happened.
I can teach a six-man protection as good as anybody. I know how to teach a six-man protection as good as anybody.
What's your next story going to be, Jeff? And the one after that. What's your next story going to be, Jeff? After this one, what's the next one? We've been with Stout for 10 years, 11 years.
Damn. Yeah, you've been with him your entire career.
Yeah, six. But there are some new coaches.
What do you guys think about the changes made this offseason? You know, the guys that are coming in. Have you talked to any of the new guys yet? I haven't.
I haven't seen them. I know Vic Fangio is like – We knew Vic Fangio.
He's like stouted as the defense coordinator. I feel like they're going to be best friends.
They were best friends when he was here for the A-List golfed and it was like, dude. Paisons.
It'll be good for both of those guys, no question. I ran into Kellen.
You ran into Kellen? Yeah, I ran into Kellen. What did he tell you? I was just chatting with him.
Just small talk, like, when did you get in? How long are you here for? So nothing ball related. Nothing ball related.
Well, how'd he come off? I mean, as outgoing as he can be. He did speak to Stout, though.
So then I went to go see Stout and when I went out to see Stout, they were both in the room together in his office. I think they were getting Chatton Bull right away.
So I just said hi and I got out of there because I didn't want to Chatton Bull. I was like, hey, man, it's too soon.
They're back at it. They're already back at it.
It's. So, it's good signs.
They're great signs. All right.
We're going to get straight to it. We got minimal time left.
Lane's got a full docket this week. This is probably the fun portion of the show.
We got to ask, but you don't have to answer. We have to ask all of our guests these questions, but again, you don't have to answer.
What is your welcome to the NFL moment?

Justin Houston.

Yeah, I remember that game.

We won.

No, we didn't.

We didn't beat the Chiefs.

No, you're right.

We never beat the Chiefs.

This year was the first time.

Yeah, him.

I just kept hearing punch, punch.

I went out there and punched nothing.

Who was telling you to punch?

Trey Thomas. Big Trey.
Throw them hands, though. Had about two or three sacks.
I went out there and punched nothing. Who was telling you to punch? Trey Thomas.

Big Trey.

Throw them hands, though.

Had about two or three sacks.

I think it was three.

Michael Vick was out there just getting his ass blasted.

I'm going, man, I'm sorry.

Yeah.

But he was good.

He went on to have like 22 and a half seconds. Yeah, it turns out it was like the third or fourth game of the year.

It was early.

And everybody had lanes all down on himself.

And then he went to beat the shit out of every other tackle in the NFL that year. Yeah.
He was amazing. Justin Houston, for sure.
Strong as shit. What did you guys think of the Dippin' Dots freezer? What's your favorite flavor? What's the banana one? That's my favorite banana split.
Cookies and cream. And then what's that one? Chocolate chip cookie dough.
Yeah, cookie dough, yeah. Me and Landon.
We're crushing the cookie doughs. I was wondering why I couldn't get any.
What else should we get in there? What else could the O-line room use? A fucking six, a fucking cooler full of beer. A Kegarito.
Yeah. Kegarito.
I don't think Stout's going to go for that one. I feel like we need to rearrange the O-line room.
We all need to have like Norma Tech sit on the floor. We could be recovering.
You don't like the massage chair that doesn't work? I have zero massages. Yeah.
You can't put in a foam. I agree.
We got to change up the feng shui of the room. Make it like a kindergarten class.
Make little tables. I don't give a damn, but it's got to change.
You never even sit in your chair. I know.
We don't need to be sitting like that. I can barely fit on the damn table right now, man.
We don't need to make it smaller. We don't need to make it smaller.
I can barely fit on the damn table and chair now. Who would each of your dream performers be to get on the Eagles Christmas album? You can have anybody.
Anybody. Marvin Gaye.
Marvin Gaye? Yeah. Is he still alive? No.
Okay. That's going to be tough.
Marvin Gaye. Shit.
My ass alive. It's going to be tough.
He's dead. Dude, something who can compliment us.
You can't just put like. What about somebody different? Like Post Malone, What would you do? That'd be fucking great.
I like stuff like that.

Oh, yeah.

Post Malone.

I like doing stuff that's way different.

Yeah.

Post Malone would do something good.

If we're going dead, I mean, I got to go Frank Sinatra.

Yeah.

Lane, did you try any Australian candy that Jordan brought to the locker room?

I didn't know there was candy.

I couldn't get through the fucking boxes.

To get to, to get some candy.

It's still there. The box is still there.
I was playing trying to get to the locker candy. It's still there.

The box is still there.

I'm going to explain

trying to get to you.

This motherfucker, bro.

No, but I would like

some Austrian candy.

What's so good?

I got some...

No, it's just different.

I don't know.

Different sugars.

Different cultures.

Different ingredients.

Less.

Think of like U.S. candy,

but just half the ingredients. Think of U.S.
candy, but like half as good. Okay.
Fuck off. There's no way.
There's no way, bro. American candy might be the most overrated candy in the world.
And that might be a hot take, but I understand. It's overrated because it's the greatest country in the world, so it's got high standards.
You know what? I might agree with that. Oh, nice.
Too positive. But the first one, the candy, I can't give you that.
I'll give you the greatest country in the world. So it's got high standards.
I might agree with that. Nice.
But the first one, the candy, I can't give you that. I'll give you the greatest country in the world.
I won't give you the candy. Alright, I'll take that.
You guys can have the candy for greatest country in the world. I'll take that.
Jordy, are you familiar with the Australian cartoon that has become an American sensation? Bluey. You got it.
Can you name all the characters? I cannot. What's the main character? It's got to be fucking Bluey because if it- That is.
It's- You know that one. I'm kidding.
Fucking hell yeah. Bluey- Do you watch this? Have you watched this with the kids? Bluey- Gooey? No.
I feel like your kids were a little bit older once this really started getting big. Yeah.
We watched Blaze, Blippi. Oh, yeah.
What's the- Paw Patrol. Paw Patrol.
Yeah. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse back in the day.
You were big Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Yeah.
I feel like all the dads keep saying, Miska, Miska, Mickey Mouse. Yeah.
I don't have kids yet. I have a niece though.
We're out of that for right now, but it's going to happen again once Benning gets a little bit older. Do you guys claim Taika Waititi, even though he's a New Zealander? Honestly, I don't think they do.
They don't? No? It's the ones that are borderline like me. Yeah, they were actually Kiwis, but they say they're Australian.
Have you gotten your citizenship yet? Did we get that done? What are you doing, man? Pouring gasoline on the fire like that. I'm asking damn questions.
He's the one asking questions. That's the law would ask.
No. Short and simple, no.
Because I need to go home for that. And I'm going home and not anytime soon.
Alright, cool. I've answered this, but the 92% want to know your takes.
What is it like being on the bottom of the tush push? You guys usually aren't on the bottom. You're on the angle.
We're on the top. He's never at the bottom.
Have you seen the film? Who? He's out the back. He's behind the whole pile.
Lane's just kind of skimming the top. Lane does the whole like, hey, I'm going to get behind everybody here.
Yeah, you guys are going to work. He's a veteran move.
He knows what he's doing yeah son of a gun just shuffle i feel i feel bad for sometimes most of the time it's landon and kelsey yeah for sure you just have 100 pounds one time the one time i was at the bottom dude the one time i was at the bottom the one time it happened i had landon and i had kelsey on top of me i was like what the fuck i was like damn it, I can't breathe. Landon goes, that happens to me every time.
That's every single play. That's every single time.
Landon has little lobster eyes at the bottom. You just see the little...
I asked Chris and Bo this. What are your guys' favorite...
What's your favorite bar or restaurant in Philadelphia? I know you're going to say Lone Star. Barkley Prime.
You like Lone Star. What? Or is it Outback? What's the spot there in Columbus? Longhorn.
Longhorn. I used to eat there a lot when I lived close by.
Yeah. And one time we went and got the...
This dude, we went to this place and this dude said, Hey, I'm going to tell you right now, get the chicken fingers. I'm like, what the fuck are you just saying? Kids meal.
Chicken fingers are fucking really good. Why would you get this, you dickhead? Okay, I'll have some too.
It was great. You guys have any great stories that you like? I got one.
This is why I didn't date for, I didn't date anybody in high school so same here eighth grade birthday party i invite bloomer late bloomer late bloomer i invite 25 people 75 people from the school show up 75 people from your school showed up yeah this is before you're popular very popular yeah so we were doing things big so that's like the whole school in East Texas. So we had jet skis.
We had boats. We had a double-decker boathouse.
I thought you grew up in a trailer. There were jet skis? What the fuck is going on? This was before high school.
I was in a house from kindergarten to eighth grade, and then I went to high school. Then I went to the trailer.
So you downgraded to the trailer. Downgraded.
What happened that made you go to the trailer? Mom got remarried. We were in the house we were at and we moved to a new town and promised to get a new house.
And, you know, and it was, and then we ended up getting the house later, but it was polyester curtains in the redwood deck. Sammy Kershaw was up there drinking beer with me.
So anyways, my girlfriend's at the time, you know, never really kissed a girl before. Don't know what's going on.
And so she has her best. How old are you? I'm 12, probably.
12. He's a full ass, grown ass man.
And so they're like, her friends like kissing and making out, you know, over there in the corner. So she's trying to match.
And then, okay. So we end up kissing.
Okay. Nice.
How was it? It was awkward. Wait, wait.
I can't even. It was awkward.
You know, every misstep, she's going to go to the locker and tell everybody how terrible you are. Yeah.
So she goes, do you want to go to your room? I'm like, that's weird. We're parties out here.
Why do we want to go to our room? Why do you want to go to my room? So we make the long walk to my room. walk in my room.
And next thing I know before I turn around, she's like, you know, getting ready. Jumps on my lap and starts making out, kissing.
I panic. I have a full blown panic attack.
I would too. Somebody attack me like that.
Throw her off, put her on the bed. Go grab NFL Blitz in 10-0-64.
And she goes, what the hell is the matter with you? Leave. Next week at school, the whole school knows.
What were they doing? It was awkward. It's like in a Disney movie where they're all at the locker just like doing this.
I'm like, this son of a bitch told everybody.

And then luckily I went to new high school the following year.

Yes.

I didn't have to deal with that.

I think we all have similar stories.

Every time you tell that story.

Every time.

It never fails.

I don't think I've told my version of that.

It wasn't as funny as that, but I was at homecoming dance with a girl that i liked

uh freshman year high school did you ask her to dance i mustered up the courage to ask her to dance but it was after all of her friends told me that she was into me and i was all that but so i was pretty confident yeah uh we're dancing having a good time and she's like oh you want to go over to the dugout i'm like why don't we go to the dugout we're having fun dancing I don't even like baseball.

Not even in the baseball.

There's not even a game going on. Oh, man.
We were cool, man. No, you guys are the best, man.
You guys are the best. I got, we got to do a rapid fire.
What to do your doppelganger. Who does Pat Mahomes look like? Man, I'm trying to think.
I can tell you one of the people I do know. I go.
Stout looks like Gino or Emma. Yeah, yeah.
It's a good call. I'm trying to think of some other guys.
I know I'm putting you on the spot here. Goddard looks like the Geico caveman when it takes off.
Oh my gosh. Can you imagine coming to a locker room with this guy? That's so accurate.
Ferrari's like Mike Wazowski from Master Z. Sully's Dom.
There's some more lookalikes. Connor kind of looks like the Kramer a little bit.
Dead on Kramer. That was actually a picture that somebody had made with Conor as Kramer.
He kind of looks like the boxer from like, was it Cinderella Man? Yeah. Russell Crowe.
Russell Crowe fought. Yeah, I'd have to get some time, but definitely got some good ones.
Sorry, guys. I couldn't reveal all my time.
No, it's good.

It's good.

It's good.

It's good.

You nailed it.

You got any good stories?

Not as good as those, bro.

Those are premier stories.

So you just.

I was a boring kid, bro.

You just.

The first girl you hooked up with went perfectly fine, and you were smooth as shit.

I wasn't smooth as shit.

No.

It wasn't as awkward as that.

Fuck.

I mean, fuck.

I mean, Jesus Christ. Guys.
First off you guys stand out on the run. The school dance is the first awkward thing.
You got the, you know, everybody's country songs and then they put the rap songs in there and then you get the chaperones. Too close, too close, too close.
All the guys are over there. Are you going to talk to her? Are you going to talk? No, no.
I'm going to chill over here. And then nobody's really dancing.
Then they put on the song to lift, to lift, to the right, to the right. That's like everybody's initiation.
Oh, I can do this. That's it.
That's the initiation of dance to the average white man. Yeah, we did not listen to that stuff.
Oh, yeah? What was your... I didn't know.

I never went out.

I was a good kid.

I could not even tell you an Australian song.

We definitely listen to American songs.

We just never went out.

You ever listen to Keith Urban?

I mean, he's all straight.

I know there's...

I never went out when I was underage, but once I got to 18, that's when...

Wait, what?

We went out.

Yeah.

You never went out where?

I never went to parties, like any house parties.

You never went to a dance until you were over 18? The dances that we had, yeah, I didn't go to a formal. No? I know you went to church and you sang at church.
Nobody danced to church? No, you can't dance to church. You ever been to the South? You dance to the South? They can dance to some churches now.
Dance to the South? Thank you for joining us on this episode. That's right.
All right. You got it right.
Sorry, guys. Hey, thank you for joining.
Big shout out to Lane and Jordan for showing up. We're going to go continue our debauchery in Las Vegas.
Let's go, baby. It is the rhythm of the night.
All night. Shout out to Gilly.
All night. And that wraps up a new episode of New Heights.
Wrap it up. Thank you so much.
As always, 92 percenters, make sure you subscribe to the YouTube channel New Heights so you know when all the new episodes are coming out. And we'll be back with a new episode next week.
Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Once again, New Heights is presented sports and entertainment and bravo the show on all social media at new heights show with

one s and thank you to our production and crew we love you guys for always making it easy on us and to the 92 percenters we love you guys the most until next time peace you watching any new tv shows recently i have you want to get into it

jason you got to watch love is blind man it is the worst trash ever it's worse than catching

kelsey but it is so fucking good honestly i just want you to watch the one girl and to just hear

her not watching oh my god jason please no i'm not watching that trash i'm not encouraging

Thank you. the one girl and to just hear her not watching oh my god Jason please no I'm not watching that trash I'm not encouraging Netflix or any of these other subscription channels to make any more of this nonsense bullshit I'm coming to Philly we're gonna watch together I'm coming you think i'm clingy i'm clingy really follow new heights on the wondry app or wherever you get your

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