Isaltino Morais

Hard Out is the name of the Jason Statham movie about podcasting.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

Yeah.

Listen to your sunshine.

I got to record a fucking podcast.

What's up?

All right.

I got to get out of here.

I got to hard out.

I can't do it in an accent.

I can't do that.

You got to hit the ah.

Ah.

Here's the thing: it's going to give me dysphoria to try a news voice.

Well, okay, let's, let's just, let's just start.

Let's start clean.

Yeah.

Uh, sink point.

Oh, yes, sync, sync, point.

Sink point is the sequel.

Heart out to sink point.

In sync point, he's on, he's like recording a podcast tour on like a cruise ship.

Yeah, so yeah, the first, the first Jason Statham podcast movie is called Heart Out, and the second one is called Heart Out 2, Sink Point.

Yeah, they're really good.

We did, we did them on KJV.

Yeah.

Huge, huge fan.

Jason Statham then had a podcast series, like a limited podcast series about the making of Hard Out and Hard Out 2 Sink Point, which was called Let Me Take That Again.

He's really charming on Let Me Take 2.

The patron.

Yeah.

All right.

Hello, everybody.

Welcome to Kill James Bond, a podcast where we talk about movies.

Wait a second.

Wait a sec.

Run it back.

So you got to take it again.

Riley, you're not that transgender yet.

Slow down, Padawan.

You got a little shitty Padawan rat tail.

You haven't been trans long enough to be on Kill James Bond, right?

I have a Padawan rat tail, but it's got like a pink bow.

All right.

All right.

Just kidding.

Sounds like you've no gods.

I've been talking about this a lot, huh?

Welcome to No Gods No Mayors, the podcast where you don't have to be as trans as Kill James Bond, but it helps.

It helps.

But it helps.

That's right.

That's right.

I'm the mayor for this episode.

Me, Riley.

Matt, Matt.

You're Riley.

Yes.

This whole time.

And I'm joined by my dear co-mayors, November and Maddie.

And

I did the thing again where I decided a Portuguese mayor is the mayor for me.

You know, Lisbon is always the first stop.

Yeah.

Well,

before we get to that, though, I do want to ask you a question.

Okay.

Which is, have you heard the haters say that New York is dead?

You know, I have heard the haters say that New York is dead.

Now, is this a sort of a Hiya situation?

Yes, this is a.

I can hear the haters now coming over the hills.

Hiya, they say.

The haters.

The hiya haters.

Oh, before we go into municipal roundup, I just wanted to recognize we have another

song, and it's so good.

Exactly.

Keep writing us songs.

Bless our musical fans.

Yes.

I think it's, yeah, I think we should put the second song at the end of this episode as we did the first song at the end of that.

The second song is trusting.

The second song is trust.

That's right.

Yeah.

What's the name of the beautiful person who put this together?

This is incredible.

The name of the band is Me Rex.

And

we have actual bands doing this now.

Someone was in the replies being like, I saw you open for Los Campesinos.

And now you're writing songs about my favorite podcast.

I think we've made it.

I think we've really, they like us.

They really like us.

Really, truly.

City Hall has fallen down and my sash has fallen off in sort of appreciation.

When your hall falls down and your sash falls off.

Yeah.

No,

that whole bit elaborates into an extended cold play fix you bit that I'm going to think up later and then have Sam edit back in.

I'm not going to do that.

Sorry, Sam.

Perfect.

No, this song is called Mayoral Roundup.

Yeah.

I also like the band Me Rex's commitment to getting the name of the segment wrong, which shows that they are true fans.

Yeah, yeah, correct.

True fans or perhaps two of the three hosts of the show.

Yes.

In a lot of ways.

Anyway, Maya news, I think, is cool.

Unlike the kind of, I don't know, like doleful folk music.

of the previous one.

This one is like a little more like a jangly country and I like them both.

I didn't think that country and folk would both be such municipal genres of music and yet it makes perfect sense.

Give me that old mayoral music.

That's right.

Down down at the local honky tonk, but it has to be local.

It's not state

or national.

Do not take me to the national honky tonk, whatever you do.

God's a regional honky donk.

So anyway, we love the music.

If you make music and want to make music, please keep making the music because we love listening to the music.

Unsolicited, ideally.

Yeah.

So the next thing is, I have to repeat my question from earlier.

Have you heard the haters?

Yeah, municipal roundup.

Have you heard the haters?

Do you hear the haters sing?

Posting the posts of angry men.

That New York is dead.

I have been hearing that more and more from the worst freaks on earth, actually.

Well, Eric Adams reported a conversation that happened to him, which is a hater said that New York is dead.

And rather than Eric Adams responding, a whale leapt out of the water and said, don't listen to them, Eric.

I, yeah.

Well, this is, he was quote posting or quote tweeting, Xing, whatever, a

post that was like a photo of a whale off of Brooklyn.

And it says, this was taken just off Brooklyn last week.

Our waters aren't just alive.

They're teeming.

And Eric Adams has taken this opportunity to write a capital P post.

Like, this is like, we found on his staff a poster.

Like, this is a real.

This is the issue.

This is the real issue for me is someone has told Eric Adams about the internet.

Yeah.

This is someone doing like favestar posting for Eric Adams.

This is like the whale starts breakdancing.

Someone has shown him the posts, the memes.

And now he's kind of redone his entire brand to be kind of meme conversant.

He's doing like pull-ups and stuff.

I mean, this is the Zoron effect, right?

Is that this young guy shows up and he's very internet literate and he does these vertical videos that the teenagers love and he gets all the Gen Z's out to vote for the first time.

And people are like, well, what worked?

Was it the things that he was saying?

No, it had to have been the way he was saying it via posting.

So get me, get me posts.

He's yelling, Eric Adams.

Yeah, and so it's like, it's like Rad Milk wasn't actually killed by those cops, they just he just like used that to fake his own death and then starts supporting Eric Adams for mayor.

Yeah, don't

if you're if you're listening, New Yorkers, don't rank rad milk

all right, uh, Maddie, you had another uh municipal roundup item.

I had another item,

item, item, this is this was sent in by a listener named Levi Magnusson, who sent in some beautiful news from the um a listener a listener with a

moby dick character ass name let me just say yeah um about uh this this takes place in uh i don't know if it's pronounced minot or minot because who knows with america which way they do it uh i'm gonna say mino if it's like the air force base it's minot it's minot south dakota the magic city

as they know it's not sure home of many nuclear weapons i believe home of mino home of home of mino yeah having some having a nice glass of mino noir the worst wine you've ever tasted in your life it's technically an ice wine because it's very very cold

much of the year yeah it's got a very unique sort of effervescent fizzy taste yeah i mean if you compare that to like a mino grigio that's completely different you know jesus

it's it's like there's a guy there's a guy right now in a missile silo laughing at that yeah so speaking of speaking of mino noir this is by a local reporter.

Suicide by Mino Griccio.

What else are they going to do?

They've got nothing to do but listen to podcasts down there.

I've got a wine segue going here because the guy's name is Rob Port.

Anyway, so well, you ruined it with your other, with your other better jokes.

Anyways, sorry.

How dare you have a better jokes?

Sam, Sam, edit out all of my jokes in this as punishment.

Just have me just doing all the reacts.

Just give me, give me, give me the kind of like, like the serious edit where I'm just like,

hey uh Sam, can you go to November's house and uh put a piece of duct tape over her mouse so she doesn't interrupt me anymore?

I think you probably outsourced that one to Gwen, but sure.

Could you please re-edit uh the episode so that November and I are only saying you could just find us saying these words throughout the episode.

So we're only saying great point, Matty.

Each time.

Yeah, basically, uh, like, Sam, can you can you make it so that Matty can like wish us into the cornfields?

yeah

can you can you edit me into being like a better person like socially

could you edit me back in time so i can correct my mistakes hey can you make it so riley is a sort of like a puppet on a spring uh when he said that

so this is this one guy rob port who's reporting for uh in forum which appears to be a local uh news source in south dakota but he's um he appears to be writing a lot about mino politics and i found this article very fascinating because this one this one reporter, Mr.

Port.

Rob Port, reporter in yeah, sure.

It's me, Rob Porter, the reporter.

So

Mino is in the middle of a special election right now because this guy, Port, his reporting exposed the previous mayor, Tom Ross, that he had sent a pornographic text to a city attorney, and this guy resigned.

And now there's a special election going on.

And this guy keeps like uncovering more things about all the people running for the special election.

Pornographic text.

Not just, not not just like a sexual text but a pornographic pornographic text to the city's attorney i did not yeah uh so uh egregious misconduct um so one of the uh one of the candidates seeking to replace him alderman rob fuller is delinquent on more than 17 000 in property tax and pled guilty to a domestic violence charge in 2009 but the article everybody's got a lot of stuff going on in mino i guess yeah it's like an incredible little race that i want to keep paying attention to but another candidate uh josiah roisi um has a significant amount of a significant criminal history, which includes a conviction for resisting arrest in Florida.

He was also been detained in North Dakota.

Do you think South Dakota and North Dakota have like a careers situation going on where they're like, we don't recognize the authority of like the law in North Dakota?

Correct.

There's one Dakota and we're it.

Do we think that maybe the Dakotas kind of send their biggest miscreants to seek public office in one another as a kind of like sabotage system?

Finding out that South Dakota has flown a bunch of weather balloons full of garbage over the border with North Dakota.

Yeah, I sorry, I did not go to okay.

I need everybody right now because, okay, so per an agenda item on Monday night's uh city council meeting this a couple weeks ago, it's been revealed that Royzy, a former model and reality show contestant who styles himself the Constitutional Mayor.

And I would like everybody listening right now to go to constitutionalmayor.com.

Okay, uh-huh.

Wow,

what a fella.

And I just

can

Skyrim belongs belongs to the Nords.

Fucking hello.

Installed one too many Skyrim mods

to make the man look more like this.

Keep scrolling down.

Keep scrolling.

Join me.

Movie night.

Josiah Roisey, Constitutional Mayor, invites you to an evening with Constitutional Sheriff Richard Mack.

Rashid Dinesh D'Souza movie.

I knew the Constitutional Mayor thing was like a riff on a Constitutional sheriff.

I got that, right?

But like.

Anyways, there's a constitutional rally.

Uh-huh.

There's a there's there's a there's a there's a band performing Toto songs

and journey.

Yeah.

It sounds sounds really really good.

The band is called Sons of David, by the way, which I'm not sure what that's about.

Yeah, so he's, you know, a real nutcase.

And

he, I could see how he's going to be able to do that.

It's a really nice, really like high definition on this t-shirt.

It's a real model shot of the t-shirt.

I'm seeing the like, you know, like the kind of, I don't even know what you call it, like the weft of this shit, you know?

Yeah, it's wefty.

It's wefty.

It's wefty as fuck.

Like, what was this shot on, like a medium form?

Someone's got a camera.

Someone's got a fucking Hasselblad in Minneau.

Like so many people.

It's like he was like a Ron Paul libertarian who just like didn't really care.

I don't even care about that.

I want to pull this image and find the exif data from it and find out what this was shot on.

Yeah, but then he says, it wasn't until the COVID shutdowns of 2020 that I felt a deep sense of urgency, which peaked as I saw that Mayor Sean Sitma raised the rainbow flag over City Hall.

Many such cases.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Yeah, so this is a cool guy, but he is currently, he is suing.

He's filed a federal lawsuit against the police department locally.

Maddie, if I can just ask, surely surely this isn't for some kind of insane reason.

Well, Riley, he has filed a federal lawsuit against the Mino Police Department and Ward County Sheriff's Department over a law enforcement search of his property for bomb-making materials.

So he said, do not search my house for bomb-making materials.

I'm going to sue you for doing so.

If I was a law enforcement officer, that would lead me probably.

to search someone's house for bomb-making materials.

Yeah, they said like illegal search and seizure.

Um, I don't know why they would be searching this guy's home for bomb materials just because he operates a contracting business called the Stormtroopers LLC.

Just a normal sort of

uh-huh, yeah, yeah.

So, he has in the past pled guilty to endangering by fire or explosion and possess or sale of machine guns, auto-rifles, silencers, and bombs.

So, this was all because this guy, Michael Wack, Patrick Michael Wagner, was staying on his property who had pled guilty to owning bombs.

This This is a very, very South Dakotan type situation.

Also, a shout out to

Gideon Dominguez, professional photographer in Sacramento, who shot this on a Nikon D800.

That shit really paid off.

It looks fantastic, dude.

Tremendous.

So this guy,

yeah, Wagner had pled guilty to having bombs on

January 6th, 2020.

No relationship.

It's an auspicious date.

Yeah, there's like a ley line running under that date on the calendar.

You think he like slept in?

Like he was supposed to bring, he was the guy that was supposed to bring the bombs to January 6th.

I was dying for the fucking kansas.

We forgot.

It was like the Bay of Pigs.

It was like all of the guys running in were like, don't worry, we're not just going to go mill around the White House and put our feet on the desks and stuff.

There's going to be artillery support coming any moment.

Yeah, listen, though, they'll get the last laugh when Nancy Pelosi finds those exploding cigars on her desk that they left for her.

So, yeah, they're seeking $75,000 against the police department for searching his compound just because of all the Nazi stuff there.

If you have a compound, it should be legal for it to be searched all the time.

Like, if it's called a compound.

Yeah, yeah, particularly the kind of Nazi kind of compound, which I think is most of the compounds you're going to get in the Dakotas.

Yeah.

So, if anybody wants to get in touch with Josiah Roycey, the Constitutional Mayor.

Wait a second.

Wait a second.

Josiah Royce, first of all, is using an image that was as his headshot that was taken on June 19th, 2015 at 2.35 in the afternoon.

This is a 10-year-old

headshot that you're using here.

That's not

catfishing shit.

You know what I'm looking at?

I'm looking at his like, I've pulled up an Instagram post here that is my general response, the Mino whiners and complainers, I've upset both sides, it seems.

Let's have a conversation about it.

I've got an image of him.

I was going to say, no, this is from like a couple of months ago, and he looks looks supremely busted compared to his headshot.

Yeah.

If you just Google image from the third Google image shot is a thing of him in a Viking costume from the Ninja Warrior Sasukapedia wiki

because he competed on

Satsuke.

Sure.

Competed on two seasons of American Ninja Warrior.

Did he?

He did.

He cleared the first two obstacles in season six, but then went out on the spinning log.

Oh, I mean, that'll always get you.

Yeah, and then he had an awkward dismount on the lunatic ledges and got bounced into a pool, apparently.

Well, I hope this guy wins the mayoralty.

I do too now, maybe apart from all of the Nazi bomb stuff.

There's also an image of him wearing the largest and most blood-borne-style hat I've ever seen in my life that looks like it was made out of sheet metal.

So here's the thing: if he wins, right?

If he wins, the brim is at 45 degrees.

We can do a whole episode about him.

him.

I think I, yeah, yeah, sure.

Until we decide, until the mayor Taculus tells us that candidates is mayors.

Right now, right now he looks like Val Kilmer and Heat.

Brackett's not in a good way.

He looks like, what if the thing that happens to Robert De Niro and Heat happened to Val Kilmer and Heat and then 10 years past?

What I was going to say is I feel the rest of the episode coming around that corner, and I'm ready to rock and roll.

All right, let's do it.

Ladies, here's what I've done.

I've gone to Portugal again.

I've decided

of the mind?

Well, I actually went to Portugal a couple weeks ago for a holiday in Porto, and it was really nice.

But more importantly, you went to the Portugal of the soul.

Yes.

Well, the Mayor Taculus has sort of

been Portugal.

They're hooking you up to an EKG and it's like, why does it playing Fado?

Yeah.

It has hooked me.

It It has moved me into kind of an Eddie or a cul-de-sac of Portuguese mayors.

You're not lost in the sauce.

You're lost in the paste stanata.

Yes, thank you.

This guy's chomping on the Franciscinia of the long night.

Yeah.

I'm drowning in wonderful

blueberry-ish touriganacia now.

I hope we're enjoying the things the hosts know about Portugal.

The Douro Valley, everybody.

Yes, the wine.

One of, yeah.

Anyways, I'm cracking open a cold Porto Tonico and I'm ready to listen.

Yes.

All right.

Look,

we're going to all talk about Isaltino Moraj, who I believe is

whatever Portuguese listeners we have are probably being like, thank God they're finally talking about this guy because he is

a lot.

There's a lot to this guy.

One of the guys a lot.

Bigly in favor of that.

So

Isaltino Moraj

has written a few books.

The first book he ever wrote was on specifically the laws around being a Portuguese mayor because he's a lawyer.

He literally wrote the book on being a mayor in Portugal.

Well, correct.

It was called Framework Law of Local Authorities, Competence of the Respective Bodies and Complementary Legislation, annotated.

This, of course, is true.

Not a real like page turner then.

He didn't write like a thriller about being the mayor of a Portuguese mayor.

And the reason I share with you the title of that book is later on I'm going to share the title of another book he wrote, and we're going to remember the sort of vibe of the first one.

Okay.

The thing about Ishal Tino Moraes is that he's bad.

He's a bad, he's a, he's bad, but very effective.

Oh, he's Portuguese Frank Rizzo.

Frank Rizal.

Franceschino Rizal.

Yeah.

So a lot of his constituents, by the way, they fucking love him and they share this very common opinion between him, which I'm going to sort of come back to a few times, which is, yes, fine.

We admit he's a crook.

He loves to do crazy projects that don't go anywhere, but also he does good for us.

Like he steals, but he works.

So we like him.

And unlike Willie Lantigua, who did good for his constituents by like doing particular friends particular favors or like partying with them or whatever.

Yeah, but you had to be his friend to do that, right?

Like you had to be in with him.

You had to be his like cousin or whatever.

Yeah.

Ishaltino Moraes genuinely like he seems again, unless I'm like totally off base, because I've now spent so long reading translated articles about this guy, he seems to be as a mayor of Huerash, O-E-I-R-A-S, like kind of weirdly almost effective sometimes.

He's reading, learning Portuguese by virtue of exposure to mayoral articles.

And so the first word you learn is like embattled.

Embattled.

So he's also a maniac.

So anyway.

Well, that's sort of the concept of the show is that all mayors are maniacs.

Yeah.

This is probably one of the most like just boringly effective mayors.

Like when I think of most of the ones I choose, it's like, oh, yeah, they couldn't stop stealing.

And then it turns out like all of the budget for the stadium was being plunged into like horse betting or whatever.

Yeah, but the only reason they had that budget in the first place is because they were able to bully like sort of regional bureaucrats.

Yeah, exactly.

So this is who this guy is.

So, he was born in 49 in a town called Mirandel, and his parents died when he's very young, so 13 and 18 years old, respectively.

So, he moves to Lisbon while Portugal is still very much a dictatorship of the Estado Novo.

And so, he's moved to Lisbon in like 1970.

So, he's got a good few years of dictatorship.

And part of this, of course, involves him getting sent to the colonial war in Angola.

Ooh, okay.

About his war experience, uh, Moraes said, I have no trauma because I lived good times.

Okay,

turn the page on

Why don't people think of this?

Are they stupid?

You can't get PTSD if there's no T to be S' by P.

It.

Like, just

there's no D.

There's no disorder.

Go to the war, but in such a way that you're having a good time.

Yeah,

I've got no traumatic, no traumatic stress ordered.

Come on.

Why the fuck?

I didn't even order this traumatic stress.

Yeah, he was like, he was doing Angola mash, basically.

Like he was doing like pranks with his buddies.

So he says, I mean, this is this is the weird thing about Portuguese colonialism, right?

Is it it differs from like British or French or Spanish or whatever, in that they did all of the like horrible colonial counterinsurgency stuff.

But you get the sense that as much as they still did it on a kind of emotional level, their heart wasn't in it.

And that's why they came back home and instituted a left-wing military coup, one of the only times that's ever happened.

So basically, he says, they were one of the best times of my life.

There was extraordinary proximity at that stage in Angola to not much danger.

Okay.

I'm going to tell that to the 100,000 civilians that died.

That's a great way of saying there was no danger to me, is there was an extraordinary proximity to no danger.

I think that might have been a translation.

No, I really like that.

I want him to talk this way.

I really kind of need him, in fact, now to talk this way.

Okay, we're going to imagine that there are no translation artifacts.

This is just literally what he said.

He had a vocal take where he talks like a Google Translate.

Yeah, being invited to like a barbecue, and it's like you are in extraordinary proximity to never having a bad time.

So he returns to Portugal, he goes to law school, he becomes a prosecutor.

And also within the same year, he gets inspired by the writing of Francisco Chacarnero, the founder of the Social Democratic Party, joins that organization, which rises up against Salazar and then like deposes him, basically.

Oh shit.

Okay.

So he's like

in Portuguese DSA, then.

Essentially, yes.

DHI.

DHIS.

We're going to say DHI.

It's got the

squiggle over the ass as well.

So Vitho, pause for a brief moment because we're talking about a southern European political party called the Social Democratic Party, which was involved in the deposition of a dictator.

Great.

What do you think its broad political positions have ended up being over the last, say, 30 years?

Like now?

Like, what do I think the Portuguese social democrats are like now?

Yeah.

Alarmingly fascist.

Uh-huh.

Maddie.

Yeah, I was going to say they're probably no longer like the DSA and are probably

closer to

Golden Down.

They're the, well, the weird thing is, because Chega already takes their place in Portugal.

Oh, right.

They're the Dennis Duffy party.

They're socially conservative and fiscally liberal.

Oh, they're FTP guys.

Okay.

Right.

Sorry.

Yeah.

Okay.

I got you.

I got you.

I got got you.

I had to relate that to a German sort of context.

Yeah, sure.

They're like marketeers.

Right.

Yeah, yeah.

And we'll talk a little bit about more about that.

But also, let's that.

So that's like the political context in which he becomes a political actor.

And Oeras in the 1980s is basically a Lisbon bedroom community that happens to have a different local government.

Most of the people work in the municipality going to work in Lisbon or just like doing service jobs locally.

Suburban mayor is a unique kind of crazy as well.

And in 85, the Social Democratic Party makes him the candidate for Hueras and he wins.

And he's like,

hey, we can vote now.

This is a novelty.

Just fucking whoever.

Yeah.

Let's vote for, let's vote for what, let's vote for the guy who's associated with the party that ended the dictatorship.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it's also at the, he's at his ascendancy in the party as well, and it's being led by Jose Manuel Dorao Barrocho.

It's a piece of work, this guy.

This guy, he joined the Portuguese.

Here's funny.

He joined a group at university called the Portuguese Workers' Communist Party in opposition to the

Salazar in the early 70s.

But then, when he has to become like a legitimate politician later, in an interview with the news magazine Espresso, he says he only joined that party to oppose the other student body movement, which was controlled by the Portuguese Communist Party.

That might be even true.

Like,

I can totally see the like underground student movements being split, like

Marxist-Leninist, Maoist, for instance, or like Leninist Trotskyists.

So yeah, being like, well, obviously our secondary enemy is the Estado Novo.

Our primary enemy are the slightly differently named communists

class.

And then

you become the sort of neoliberal centrist sort of regime, essentially.

You're like, yeah, I didn't mean any of that.

Weird how many times this happened.

Like,

just all of the kids who are like throwing paving stones at the cops in the course of like, I don't know, 10 years in power just became like, well, maybe austerity?

Yeah.

Hey, maybe we threw paving stones at the cops.

Maybe it's time to defund all the daycares.

Let's start with that, see if that helps.

For sure.

What if we privatized everything?

Yeah, Durao's favorite thing in the world is to go into governing coalitions with various right, like the Christian Democrats and the People's Party, and immediately implement like brutal austerity measures when he gets into power throughout like the 90s and 2000s.

Anyway, the mayor.

So, one of the first things Moraes does after becoming mayor in 1990, becomes mayor in 1995.

The first big thing he does is he goes to Sydney, Australia, looks at the monorail, and is like, yep, that's for us.

We're going to get a monorail just like Sydney.

Isn't the Sydney monorail famously a huge white elephant that like

is kind of deeply constrained by the, I think they call it the CBD in Sydney, the like fucking cannabis oil bit

and is like super expensive and not really as practical as like trams or whatever.

Well, let's, I don't know, but why don't we see what happened with Moraesh's monorail?

And maybe that'll be an instructive.

Well, almost every monorail is good and works forever and people love it.

There's never been a bad, there's never been a monorail that people come to despise.

Gadget Devan is a slur.

Yeah.

So basically, he goes to Sydney and he's like, we need a monorail immediately.

And what he wants this for is to create a transport system between Oerash and the business parks that are getting built around it and to connect it to the neighboring municipalities, including Sintra, the biggest one.

The only issue, the mayor of Cintra, when asked about this, said, no, this seems crazy.

So what does

he was, he said it was crazy because he was distracted by his like beautiful tiles.

So what does

he's just like looking off in the distance like, yeah, that's crazy.

What are we talking about?

Like a bus or something?

I'm trying to assemble like a beautiful tiled mural with a bunch of like blue worked tiles.

And then this guy comes in and is like, hey, you want a monorail?

And I like jump and I like start and I throw all my tiles on the floor.

Hey, what's the um, won't this monorail shake all my tiles around while it goes by?

Get out of here.

Is this a danger to my tiles?

In many ways, this is the episode of things the hosts of the show know about Portugal.

So the mayor of Sintra, Edita Estrella from the Socialist Party, says, I don't think the plan is effective.

One rail.

how would that even work?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And experts talked to by

Sabato, one of the other Portuguese newspapers that was like doing a deep dive on the history of this, said, talked to an expert who was like, well, if the, it's difficult to perceive how it could proceed in that case.

I also fucked up.

Centra isn't the, well, everywhere in Portugal was the tiles place, but Cintra is the stained glass place was what I was thinking of.

I was confused because it's the subject of a board game about placing beautiful Portuguese tiles, but the spin-off of it that's about placing beautiful stained glass.

I see.

Countability moment.

Just so you know that.

Yeah.

Countability moment.

Okay, so basically, also all these business parks.

That's the thing, like stained glass, even worse with a monorail.

You know, like tiles, tiles are pretty hardy.

You know, like if my, if my shit's going to get jostled, um, you want it grouted?

Stained glass is even worse.

Cause you're jostling my shit, like and you're jostling my leaded stained glass.

Come on.

If you fucking jostle my shit and it's not grouted, we're going to have a problem.

So basically, the business parks that are getting built around Oerash and Ouerso,

there's no transport planning, which basically is just like, okay, well, it's all car-based.

So, he was like, okay, we're going to have this monorail.

Blah, blah, blah.

Our project has these enormous cost overruns because he basically didn't secure funding except for a public-private partnership that fell apart, didn't clear it with the neighboring towns, especially Sintra.

And so, like, 10 years later, it's only like a kilometer long.

It goes between one stop and a mall.

Aw, a single, like a baby, like an orphaned orphaned monorail.

I'll say this, though.

He was able to get that much built, and that's kind of impressive.

Yeah.

And now, and now, if you live there, you don't have to take an entire 12-minute walk.

Yeah.

So, uh, the SATU, Sistemo Automático de Transporte Urbano, uh, takes uh, passengers from the Pacho de Arco railway station to the Hueras Park shopping center.

It costs one Euro 50 return, and it's a four-minute service.

It's a real, real shame that I noticed the word automático in there because I think being the driver of like a monorail that runs four minutes and goes between two stops in Portugal in like suburban Lisbon sounds like maybe the best job in the world you could ever possibly have.

You're probably in a union.

You get to live in Portugal.

I was going to say, you get to drive the monorail for four minutes and then one hour long linguisha break.

Yep.

Uh-huh.

Yep.

Yep.

Yep.

And then get off work after doing that like four or five hundred times in a day, caipirinha time.

Yeah.

Gorgeous.

And then it's like, oh, hey, you know what?

I'm not going back to my work until I've had my union-mandated glass of gingha.

Oh, that shit rocks.

That shit is, that shit is so good, though.

Yeah, it's really good.

We're genuinely trying to talk our way into a thing that like alienates every non-Portuguese listener, but every Portuguese or like Lucifile listener is now pointing at the screen in like anguish, begging us to do a Lisbon live show.

They're pointing at their barrel of Jinjinha that they keep in their house.

I assume is Kaiferin.

Is Kai Parinho Brazilian?

Well, you'd think like cultural exchange, it would come back.

Yeah, I'm sure it has.

So, the other thing is, right?

He's at this point, by the time the monorail opens, it's not his problem because in 2002, he briefly stops being mayor.

And so

it becomes the next person's problem.

That's the best way to stop being mayor is briefly.

So, so this is um so the uh the in 2004 the monorail uh transports 45,000 people during its first five months uh in service that's not a lot of people it doesn't seem like a lot of people 7.5% of what they projected

whoopsie whoopsie daisy yeah like I said and then it cost uh it's the price only went up over the next 10 years it never expanded but it cost one euro 65 instead of one euro 50 to go from the train station to the mall.

I'm going to look up this mini monorail here.

Yeah, it's so ugly.

Yeah, it really doesn't look very good.

Yeah.

Oh,

oh, it's horrible.

Yeah, no, I really don't like that, actually.

Maybe I don't want the job, actually.

So, this is from Espresso.

The concrete viaduct with long towers does not go unnoticed as if it was a barrier.

Evidently, it causes visual pollution, explained a landscape architect who preferred not to be identified.

It costs more because this this evil is not a lesser evil.

It is not a greater good.

It does not provide an effective service.

It does not have a technical added value as transport.

And the choice of an unmanned convoy is more of a political than a technical option.

Oh, so it doesn't even have a driver.

Bruce.

Yeah, yeah.

So basically, yeah, like I say, it gets pawned off on Teresa Zambujo, who up until then is vice mayor to Ishaltino Morais.

So in 2002, that guy I mentioned earlier, Durao, he wins like national election and says to his favorite guys, hey,

come be in my cabinet.

And so the vice mayor, Tereshi Zambujo, replaces him as mayor and it has to like deal with the like terrible monorail problem.

He's like, okay, bye.

I had my fun inaugurating this thing, getting inspired by Sydney and like planning the route and drawing on the map.

Why don't you figure out how to make it work?

Good luck.

Goodbye.

However, 2002 is a good year for Ishaltino Moraes moraes because he gets to be a new he gets a new government position in like the management of local government from the federal level oh sick so he he like he does such a bad job as mayor he's like promoted to be like a kind of minister of mayors correct yes ideal he's also president of the council of social democratic mayors of portugal like three times he's this guy's so good at being in charge of other mayors he he's like really good at being the mayor which we'll see but so basically in at this point though after one one year into his

into being the sort of mayor of the mayors, he's confronted by the newspaper.

Yeah, the mayor meister.

He's confronted by the O Independente newspaper, where they said, hey, you seem to have three bank accounts in Switzerland and Belgium that contain a few billions of people.

Suddenly, we're against diversity now.

It's not okay that my bank accounts have different nationalities.

Yeah, this is Eurocentrism, yeah.

What happened to the union?

So he's charged, um, he's charged with the, you know, with income tax evasion and money laundering with these, these two, these bank accounts in, in Switzerland and Brussels.

And because it's like, hey, you have 1.32 million Euros in these accounts, but you only earned like 350,000 euros while being mayor from 1993 to 2002.

And when asked how you got it, you just said, oh, people gave it to me.

I inherited some money, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

But you can't provide any proof of it.

To be fair.

To be fair.

people did give it to him yeah yeah

for what we know not why maybe they just maybe they just admired the like uh sort of extent of his bank accounts yeah people were paying extra to the monorail because they liked it so much and

i was sitting next to the fare box waving uh with a tip jar

don't forget date don't forget to tip your mayor so basically this is this is what the case is right so in 2003 he gets kicked out of the um of of the local government ministry and then just has to work in the private sector.

So the public prosecutor that investigates him, right?

They say, okay, well, we think that more or less immediately since you got elected, you were, and I quote, obtaining patrimonial advantages at the cost of the interests of municipal taxpayers with the sole objective of self-enrichment.

We seldom see the adjective patrimonial these days, and I think that's a real shame.

I think that's a translation artifact.

No, no, no.

I like the Portugal that exists in my head through translation apps better now that everyone has this very like artful way of speaking.

Yeah, or it's like it's like Patromoniao or whatever.

I need you to know that like ADHD has me battling between the notes and looking through every image on the Wikipedia page for Sintra.

So

I'm very like romantically taken with Portugal at this point.

Okay, live show in Lisbon.

It's happening.

So they basically said, look, we think you've been receiving money in envelopes just delivered right to your office for like the usual mayoral kickback stuff, right?

Like licensing construction, land exchange, et cetera, et cetera.

Well, those are the people who have the money.

If, like, if you wanted me to be bribed by people who weren't property developers, then maybe they should have all of the money, but they don't.

Yeah, I'm playing the hand I'm dealt here, guys.

Yeah.

So why do you, why did you accept bribes from property developers?

Because that's where the money is.

Idiot.

Fucking moron.

You only take bribes from poor people, Your Honor.

They're not even going to be good at bribing me because they don't have any money.

This trial rumbles on for a while.

He constantly gets convicted, but then he manages to appeal 44 times.

Incredible.

I love a legal system like this.

Isolies are still the best for me, but like this is this is up there, you know?

Yeah.

Fantastic.

Wait, how many, how many circuits of court do they have?

Well,

let's not worry about that.

I mean,

I assume stuff gets kicked up and then back down again.

If the point of

it has to go back to the lower tribunal and then it takes them a year to like rehear it and yeah or you like challenge the scope of the prosecution they have to redo all of it stuff like this yeah this is this is a developed by the brazilian court system and it's called ticky talk

yeah it's a very like aerial system of uh yeah right so um he basically he gets like he's in this um he's in this situation where he's like for years now gets kicked out of public office right because he's he's not, he's, he's, uh, stops being mayor in 2005 and he isn't in public office again until 2013.

To spend more time with his bribes, I assume.

Yeah.

So sorry, excuse me.

2002.

He, excuse me, he is mayor in that time from 2005 to 2013, like while he's being tried.

And, you know, he gets like acquitted of various, he gets acquitted of some of the charges.

One of them is another one.

another one that we're seeing again, having seen originally earlier, which is economic participation in business, which we, Pedro Collado was also accused of.

I've been trying to find out how many layers of courts Portugal has, and I can't, but I have found out that I'm just going to read here, already internationally known for decades as excruciatingly slow and inefficient, Portugal's justice system was by 2011 the second slowest in Western Europe after Italy's, even though it has one of the highest rates of judges and prosecutors in the world.

Inspector detectors.

They have entire claim loads of inspector detectors, and they all have to agree.

It is reputed for overcapacity, useless redundancy, and a general lack of productivity as a whole.

Yeah, I was going to say they might be even worse than Italy, and Italy is overweighted by the one Tom Ripley case they can't solve.

We're going to catch that guy.

One day.

Yeah, if we can.

And so he's constantly grandstanding, right?

He is constantly grandstanding because he says, okay, I'm innocent.

You know, no evidence was ever presented against me.

Not a crime has been proven against me.

I'm a scapegoat.

They're just after me because I'm popular.

They're just after me because you love me.

They're not after me.

They're after you for your

general

justice system.

Yeah.

I don't think I'm at you at all.

So

Morai says that he's going to maintain his candidacy for the October elections, saying elections are one thing, justice is another.

And he says,

I was sentenced to a check for 4,000 euros to

buy two paintings

and then serve that for the crime of passive corruption, money laundering, and tax fraud.

He's always minimizing it.

So I was convicted of abusive power just for having received.

He's doing literally describing your crime in the most general possible thing.

So it's illegal to pick up a check.

I was convicted of abusive power just for having received land in Cape Verde from the city council of Salvicente in the context of cooperation between local authorities.

But he did receive the land, it seems personally.

Yeah,

like, but that's fine, though, because the mayor and the, the mayor and the sort of like land are one, right?

They share a kind of common body.

The mayor has two bodies.

And so he's like, he's constantly getting convicted and then appealing, convicted and then appealing.

And he basically, as long as he appeals, then it allows him to stay mayor and get elected again.

Does he have mayoral immunity like

a lethal weapon?

Well, kind of, because he gets elected.

He's like the PSD supports Teresa Zambujo, who was like took over for him, basically.

It's like, well, clearly we have to support the incumbent mayor against the crime guy.

And it doesn't matter.

Moraes wins handily as head of the Ishaltino Moraes party.

Incredible.

What do the people of

the town?

Yeah, what do they, what do they think he's doing that's so hot and good?

I have a lot of quotes from townspeople.

We're going to get to the quote.

He also said, he also says, politics is on one side and justice is on the other, which I mentioned earlier.

Let's vote.

My candidacy is presented and the people of Huerash know how to choose.

If it weren't for Ishotino Moraes, mayor of Huerash and former minister to be tried, I would have been acquitted already.

There are probably those who want it to serve as an example and I'll be a good example.

So yeah, he's like, they're just after me because they're doing a witch hunt for the awesome mayor with the cool monorail.

I'm looking at these business parks.

There are never accused jurors that have been on the monorail before, but luckily that's only one or two of them in the whole town.

So the thing is, so it's like this process of appealing and grandstanding and just getting elected happens over and over and over again, right?

He's finally arrested and sent to prison in 2013 at lunchtime near the city hall.

Oh, you wouldn't arrest a man at lunch.

Let him finish lunch.

Yeah.

But he literally, legally, has to stop being mayor, but that doesn't matter at all to anybody.

This guy, Paulo Vistash, until then, the vice mayor of Huerash is the in the Isaltino Moraes Moraesh party, gets elected mayor on the Isaltino Moraes ticket.

But that's only after they tried to nominate Moraesh from prison as the head of the list.

And then the Constitutional Court simply said, you cannot be mayor from jail.

Calling in from jail like flavor flav.

I do like the campaigning on the I will do whatever this guy would have done.

I'm basically him.

I know his thoughts intently.

Yeah, only I'm not in jail.

I will be his voice.

You know, like how a mafia dog can run his organization from prison?

That's what I'm going to do.

Yeah.

I'm the voice of Sauron, but for some guy in jail.

The funny thing is, that doesn't stop him from taking all

of his positions, right?

The Werash City Council, controlled by the Ishaltino Moraes party, appoints him as president of the board of directors of the Marquesh de Pombal Foundation, who's the guy, like this aristocrat in the 17th century who turned Werash from a village into a town, basically.

Like, he's the guy there.

Like, like, Mauraesh's.

He was the guy before Maesh.

Well, yeah,

he was Mauraesh before Maraesh.

And his, his, like, mayoral throne is in front of a multi-square meter portrait of the Marquis de Pompal.

Incredible.

Yeah.

So, so he basically from jail gets made the president of the board of directors of this foundation.

from 2013 to 2016, but he has to wait until 2014 to take it up after he gets out of jail.

The prosecutor, again, said, please do not parole this man as there are no well-founded and serious reasons that can demonstrate why he won't just do this again in future it's really really funny to be like hey when's the when do we have a new managing director and the answer is depends on like good behavior i guess we'll see how his parole hearing goes yeah so he gets out right of course starts walking like kaiser sozo yeah he writes a second book okay and and bearing in mind yeah so the the the author of uh framework law of local authorities competence of the Respective Bodies and Complementary Legislation, Annotated, writes a second book.

Okay, I'm excited.

This is going to be a banger.

Hit me with the title.

How long is the title?

It's called My Prison.

What if it happens to you?

Taking a very different tone here, maybe.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like,

what if?

What if you go to jail?

Vote for me.

Yeah.

Becoming a prison abolitionist because you went to prison is a really good bit.

Just not like out of any like, oh my god, it's terrible in there, but like, this should not happen to me again specifically.

In a lot of ways, I not only am I an abolitionist, I'm a me going to prison abolitionist as well.

Yeah, just for myself.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And so he says, it's an experience being in prison that I think should be told for pedagogical reasons.

Being in freedom is, along with physical health, the most precious good that exists.

I was deprived of freedom for 14 months.

Naturally, there's different dimension of details of life that before we didn't take advantage of properly, and now we must take advantage of another way.

When you're alone in a cell, I've never seen this before, but like prison, it's bad.

Prison's bad, yeah.

I like being able to go places.

I found this out about myself.

I did a lot of soul searching.

He shared his cell with four other inmates.

He made friends, and including like other white-collar criminals, which he took walk, who he took walks with in the yard.

He says, prisoners in principle are treated equally, but they're not all the same.

And what's important is the emotional intelligence of each one.

Dealing with people, trying to understand them.

And I was always available to listen.

if people ask

speech checks all the time well he says if people asked me for advice or to help write anything i was always available it was easy for me i'm still not well in myself but i think i made friends in prison that's the reality he was trying to be mayor of prison it sounds like a report from summer camp yeah this is the solution to the male loneliness problem is stick the guys in a room together yeah lock it up lock it up So he says, I still don't know what I'm going to do.

I want to rest my spirit.

I don't even talk about politics or justice right now.

I'm just interested in savoring the good things that freedom gives us, and people can continue to see me.

I'll continue to have walks and greet people here in Werash, which he does.

Every day is a gift.

Yeah.

Again, he says, he asked about the crimes for which he was convicted.

And I'm sure this is a translation artifact, but he said, I was convicted by mere conviction of the courts.

Listen, it's just

a courts, right?

Only God can judge me.

I was convicted on a technicality because I was technically guilty of the crime I was accused of.

In many ways, the most technical technicality being found guilty by a jury of my peers or a judge.

So I'm sure that, like, he, I'm sure that he meant something else, but that's how it was translated.

No, he says, I think we can say unequivocally, he did not mean something else.

He meant it exactly that way.

So, he, but, like, he's still appealing this thing like years later.

Like, he, because he appeals it to the ECHR saying he was discriminated against because because he was mayor.

They should make Mayer a protected category.

Our joke forever is that Mayer is a protected class.

I can't believe he went to the ECHR.

That's incredible.

Yeah.

So, and it's all the way up until 2022.

He was fighting this thing in the courts.

Maybe it's not just sort of like self-serving.

Maybe he also just really loves being in court.

I think it's maybe he's a crush on the judge.

I don't think you appeal 44 times unless you've like your eyes have met across the bench and you're like you're just trying to see that one judge again.

Maybe it's like the maybe it's like the one the court is like that one train station in Porto and the tile work is just really beautiful and he wants to look at it.

But this is like in 2014.

It's very racist of us to be like this Portuguese guy, I think motivated probably by like tiles and affinity for tiles.

Interesting tiles.

That's his like national character.

They're all like that.

He's looking at Jejuna.

He's looking in tiles.

He's sipping a Porto Tanico.

Invited Invited a Portuguese guy, but he keeps like looking at my bathroom and like making comments about the tile work.

He keeps looking at my bathroom and sighing and looking sad.

In a different way, it's called Saudad.

Yeah, none of the, none of the, so none of the tiles.

Sorry, I was just in your house and I was using your bath.

I just want to, I just want to, I just want to get this straight.

So none of the tiles have anything on them.

Just no, no, like azulejo at all.

You're like, oh, Riley, Riley, I don't know if you knew this.

They didn't finish your bathroom.

It's just white tile in there.

Yeah, it's actually, it's it's really like up also you've only got like the one kind of base color instead of like six yeah

so anyway anyway in 2013 after he gets out of jail the first thing he does is he runs for mayor again

by the uh he runs for mayor again and he wins

they love this guy they can't get enough of him yeah they genuinely love him that's incredible and the funny here's the funny thing is the ishaltino moraish party supports paolo vistas against ishaltino Moraes, who starts a new Ishaltino Morais party called Ishaltino Inovar Uerash Di Volta or In of 8.

Incredible.

So

he's a local municipal Peronist where it's like your choices are the right Ishaltino Morais party or the left Ishaltino Morais party.

Continuity Moraish.

Oh, this is just like communist student politics before the revolution.

And here's the thing, Maddie, you said earlier, what do his supporters say about him?

Yeah.

Why Why do they like this guy so much?

84% of his supporters acknowledge that he's a criminal, but also believe that it's irrelevant.

I do.

Incredible.

84%.

He's like, he's in their brains.

They say, Eleruba.

Tiffany Henyon.

I was going to say

it says, well, they got twinned with Dalton.

He said,

Eleruba Mashfash.

which is the

butchered Portuguese version of the expression that like his supporters, that's like the slogan almost, the unofficial slogan, he steals, but he works.

Incredible.

Yeah.

A 43-year-old businesswoman interviewed says, look, justice was done.

If the law allows the candidacy, I don't see why it should be challenged.

All the evolution of the municipality is due to work carried out by Igealtinio Morais's mandates.

Let him run.

It's like, because when he's stealing, he's in the office.

Yeah, exactly.

So in 2017, he runs again and he wins again one of the things he promises to do is finish the monorail

it's this has become his like a kind of ozimandia statue i feel oh yeah now of course spoiler alert he does not do that

vast and trunkless uh pylon one vast and trunkless rail line yeah rail so from 2017 his main project is to try to make weirash the silicon valley of portugal And he does kind of have some success at doing this.

A lot of tech companies like Google and stuff and Cisco and Microsoft rent spaces in those office parks and build like operational back offices in Huerash.

There aren't like venture-funded startups, right?

Portuguese tech companies that exist are largely headquartered in Lisbon, but the unemployment rate remains relatively low, which is exceptional for Portugal.

And it's a pretty prosperous, wealthy place.

And he also is like, his policies aren't always terrible, but a lot of them are terrible, but not all of them are.

So he says, for example, about the real estate crisis in Portugal, poor families and impoverished middle classes can't find compatible, can't find working housing

because there's not housing with low enough prices.

So it's necessary for the state to build housing for the poor and the impoverished middle classes.

But

he supports like council housing, basically.

He's doing

like, he's sort of running the city kind of, or it seems he's running the city kind of well, just also very corrupt.

It's almost like he's like, look, I'm doing a good job.

so I'm going to give myself a raise.

So anyway, anyway, he's named as a defendant in another public corruption trial, again, about unfair contracting.

The activity was said to have taken place in 2012, but the charges were brought in 2022.

So

this is transcribed from the television news.

The public ministry says the mayor of Weirash favored a civil construction company in several public-private partnerships, which will have damaged the municipality by millions of euros.

It was the intention of Ishaltina Morais to carry out large-scale construction works to show he had done something to have a better chance of being re elected in the 2009 local elections.

The problem, the indebtedness limit of the town council.

It's very funny to be like, hey, this guy's trying to keep his campaign promises.

Yeah.

I mean, he is doing it for like deeply corrupt reasons, but that is funny to be like, he's just trying to show he's done something.

Oh, 100%.

Although, again, it's like when

who was the mayor who did like the insane paving rollout?

I think that might have been Lantigua.

That was Lantigua who

paved the entire town overnight.

Yes.

Yeah, yeah.

It's a little bit like that because also a lot of the construction is like shitty and doesn't get done and gets built on floodplains and stuff.

And also like he gets, he keeps privileging these companies and he keeps like overpaying them because he's just like, no, we got to keep like, keep this going.

So he's basically basically like corrupt, but it doesn't appear to be entirely self-serving in this case.

He steals, but he works.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He steals but he works.

So it's like flawed tenders announces very short deadlines to hinder competitors giving inside information to this one company.

And it's like, you have no idea how or if they're paying him, right?

It says, the way the business model was used for the construction of the Uerash Congress Center, the work stopped halfway through when 12 million euros had already been spent.

Now all that remains is a concrete structure exposed to wind and rain.

And the resumption of the construction work has been announced, but then it didn't keep going.

It's just still broken.

I'm waving the big foam finger that says vast and trunkless legs on it.

This guy loves building vast and trunkless legs.

Vast and trunkless convention center.

Never skip vast and trunkless leg day.

So it's like 169 million euros he spends versus a 58 million euro budget in all of these public-private partnerships across schools, care centers, this abandoned new city hall, the abandoned conference center.

Then like millions of illicit profits go to this one company and Maurai faces two to eight years imprisoned.

If convicted, he's still on trial for this.

But again, like, all while this is happening, there's another like puff piece about him that comes out around the same time.

Walking into the impressive main room of the council offices, dominating by paintings, including one gigantic one of Marquis de Pombal, and seeing the mayor smoking a Cuban cigar in front of a dark mahogany desk, sitting on a chair of throne-like proportions.

God, Portugal is so cool.

Surrounded by a group of anxious and attentive staff and assistants, does not give you, certainly does give you the feeling of being ushered into the audience with a king and not a czarist governor.

But the mayor stresses the importance of his walkabouts.

I hold audience on a daily basis, although the official day is Thursday, but hardly a week goes by where I don't take a tour of the entire city to make sure the streets are clean and the parks are well maintained.

I do this and I chat with locals because that way I hear firsthand about the problems I might not otherwise get to learn.

So basically, he's like constantly doing things.

He's totally regime-pilled.

The two main parties in the city are the Igeltino Moraes party,

like different versions of it.

Yeah.

And also, like, if you're, if you are the mayor of a suburb or a smaller town or something, it is really easy to be pretty beloved by just being seen out and about.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Your local guy.

Local figure.

Yeah.

To be like a guy, be like, oh, I'm electing the guy I know is a real powerful pole.

Yeah.

So there's like, that's not the only controversy that dogs him, though.

He also faces like a kind of restaurant gate controversy.

So in August 2023, Moraesh and members of the city council, they presented invoices that the council paid for like 1,500 working lunches, often at the same time in different restaurants.

This man's so efficient, he can eat 1,500 lunches at the same time.

Which consists of like high-end products in luxury restaurants, including lobster rice.

And Mauraesh was like, I've never eaten lobster in my life.

Don't even know what it tastes like.

Bad, I assume.

That's why it's so expensive is to discourage people.

And it was like 139,000 euros.

And so what Mauraish does is he starts a gastronomy blog and then says it was a benefit to to all these restaurants where he was accused of wasting public money at because he so loved that everyone just went to those restaurants and ordered what he ordered

he started a fad for lobster rice yeah um he presented to the media a list of 51 restaurants frequented by him and his team in wereash as well as the best dishes from each countering that the team only frequented three restaurants mentioned in the news the publication of the list resulted in a doubling of the numbers of customers at some of the restaurants mentioned with most dishes ordered being those mentioned by Marais.

And again, I looked at

the comments here of people being like, hey, maybe it's sort of weird that

this is clearly kind of a waste of money.

I think he might be taking the piss here.

It's like he says, someone called Huau Ferreira says, listen there, oh, stupid.

The bills are paid by city council, and who pays them?

Anonymous replies, go work, you fucking communist.

I

incredible.

I never, never stop Google translating things, please.

Listen there.

Listen there, oh, stupid.

Is it incredible?

This is the only guy when you translate a romance language into English.

And it's really, it's really beautiful to look at.

And he's still on trial.

Like, new charges are coming to him every day.

Where our city hall was raided four weeks prior to this recording to the day.

And so again, like you, I'm looking at like Reddit comments about him from people who live locally where they're like, is Isoltino corrupt?

That's a fact.

Is Isol Tino the best mayor nationally?

That's also a fact.

Next question.

He's doing like the matrix stuff to the plane fulls of inspector detectors who are thrown at him.

And he's still building white elephant projects.

The new municipal forum.

Well, I mean, we talk about, you're talking about trunkless.

Oh, boy.

It's right there.

So the new municipal forum costs 150%

more than 28 million that was budgeted for it.

It's undergone one contract modification a month since it started to be built and has no completion date.

And he posted to Facebook, Facebook,

Ishotini Morais, he sews a visit to like a shipyard, being like, oh, the municipal, this working is progressing at a good pace.

It'll soon be inaugurated, everything in time for the municipal elections.

It's still not done.

The municipal forum was approved in 2019.

And again, it was going to be built in two years.

After four years, it's still not done.

And even then, he's so brash and bold.

He's like, oh, yeah.

He shot.

a time capsule out of like a slingshot into the foundations of the building.

It's a a stainless steel tube with a paper inside with the name of the people who were there that day written so that in a thousand years, if the new mayor noticed, he would know who was there.

Isltino also put a five-euro bill.

Getting hit with like a mortar shell with the like a miniature of the Ozamandius statue in it.

So, yeah, but again, all these things keep happening where it's like the corrupt, the corrupt construction practices, the kickbacks, and he just styles it out every time.

And the people just keep loving him.

He's unbeatable.

Incredible.

Yeah.

It's like, there's this huge half-built auditorium with no end in sight.

And then he's like,

there was a flood, right?

There was a flood in Werash, where the year before the flood, Muraish was like, Wereash is not built on a floodbed.

There hasn't been a flood here for years.

There won't be a flood.

I don't understand.

We talk about this because it hasn't been built for a floodbed for many, many years.

said the mayor during an extraordinary meeting of the Werash City Council dedicated to flood problems one year before the flood killed someone.

He's not thinking about the flood council.

He's busy thinking about the time capsule committee.

He's busy thinking about like the restaurants he's going to go to and how when he, how it's actually a net tax benefit because more people go eat out when he eats out.

Opening up the like time capsule and the foundations of the mall and it's 1500 servings of lobster rice.

And here's another new charge.

This is from this year.

It's still going.

It's still going.

It can't be stopped.

Where he awarded a contract to his own daughter, who runs a company called Pure Choice, which does like mental health, integrated psychology services, and promoting worker mental health.

So he got like his daughter's version of BetterHelp.

He got daughter help for the municipality.

And again, he's like, pays 116,000 euros.

And wouldn't you know it, Pure Choice or Daughter Help, is headquartered in a building that he personally owns.

Well,

she'll be more motivated to do it right.

If

she knows the mayor, you know, Neo Daddy's watching.

So again, here's a Reddit copy.

I use Reddit for a lot of this because I wanted to see what people say about him when they live there.

Again, I don't know what to say about this politician.

The idea I have of him is that he does everything he can for people.

And along the way, he does some things that are less than correct.

But everyone loves Isaltino because he manages to have one of the best municipalities with free university tuition for locals.

And when there were floods, he advanced money to businesses and people before the insurance companies paid.

Yeah, he just had all of that cash handy.

He was just able to do that.

Yeah.

So the floods that happened because, and again, like the greens constantly excoriate him for this, for like just building stuff on floodplains, for denaturing the soil, for overburdening rivers, like all this stuff, just building basically without planning and rarely finishing anything.

People were like, When the flood happened, he paid us, we don't care.

He's uh, he's splitting tips, floating a big suitcase full of cash around, yeah.

So, it's just on and on and on again, and it's like this guy is just he's he's completely chaotic, right?

And here's the really funny thing, which is that Ishaltino Moraj is running not at the head of any Moraesh party again,

but again, with the endorsement of the Social Democratic Party, which has let him back in.

The election.

Oh my God.

Okay.

What?

The election will be in October, and it is the last one he's legally allowed to run in before he gets term limited.

I assume there will be a referendum with 150% turnout and 400 like reinstate ishaltino moraes

uh

after the election after his term limited out he's 75 he's really old that's crazy they let it why'd they let him back in i guess everyone just loves him yeah everyone loves him too much and the social democratic party is really unpopular

yeah wow so they're like all right i guess

juice yeah and so you know he's like well the only way we can beat chega is with this guy who he seems to have hypnotized an entire town.

Anyway,

that's what I have about Ishel Tino Moraesh and the various sort of wacky string of crimes, misdemeanors, and crazy projects that he has inflicted on a bedroom community outside Lisbon.

This is now two elections that we're having to monitor.

We're having to monitor the one in Minot and the one that's going to happen in Muirach.

And we have to keep monitoring the London, Kentucky situation.

I mean, we'll never stop monitoring.

We set up a field office.

This is spooling out

into a kind of like no gods, no mares, like global intelligence operation.

I'm actually receiving kickbacks on a big sort of no gods, no mares office that's a quagmire that I've been building for 10 years in London, Kentucky to monitor the situation.

Oh, my quagmire?

Yeah, you're familiar with my quagmire?

Yeah.

And you're building it on a quagmire that will never flood.

Yeah, that'll never flood.

I'm slapping the side of it and saying I can fit so many trunks in this bad boy.

What's also very funny about them building on the floodplain is like it's right next door.

I was looking at the uh, the history of Weirash, and it only exists.

Like, the Marquis basically became like an important figure because he, like, took over some control of Lisbon after it was uh flattened by an earthquake and also a flood at the same time in the 1700s.

It's very funny to be like, well, our town that was founded because of a huge flood destroying Lisbon, certainly next door to Lisbon on the same exact coastline, couldn't possibly also flood.

If that happened, it would be inconvenient for my plans.

So, don't worry about it.

It'll be fine.

Yeah.

Back to my trunk.

Back to finally putting a trunk on these two legs.

Anyway, anyway, that's Ishel Dino Moraes.

I feel like a Portuguese listener might know,

might

find a couple things that I've missed.

Like, there are things that I just didn't have time to include.

Like that when there was a papal visit to Uraj, he like personally had all of the billboards about clerical abuse taken down.

Oh, Jesus.

Yeah.

Like there's so, there's, there's a million tiny strict crazy things about this guy.

Yeah.

But that, that's, this is him.

This is my mayor.

I have many more like him, but this is the one for this week.

Yeah.

Thank you so much for bringing this man to us, Riley.

He's very, he's very wonderful and beautiful.

And I, you know what?

I love him and I'm voting for him.

We're going to write him in every election.

I'm going to start writing him in.

Look, the only way I've decided to get back involved in electoral politics, I think the only way that Britain is going to be able to shake off the kind of neoliberal doldrums is to rally behind a leader that actually is going to be able to flex these principles.

He's going to be able to challenge parliamentary.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Shaltino Maraj, the leader of the Green Party.

Anyway, all right.

All right.

We got to write.

Thank you very much for listening to No Gods, No Mayors.

I don't know if this is, it's a free one.

So there's going to be a bonus one coming.

This is free.

I'm on the next bonus next week, which I don't know who the mayor is is yet.

The Mayor Tankulus has not accessed my brainstem and spoken through my math yet about who it's going to be, but it's really between a couple and it's going to be good.

Uh, that I can promise.

No gods, no mares uh.com.

Okay, come see me on book tour.

I love you all.

Yeah, okay, bye-bye.

Bye-bye, bye.

Bye.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

When you're riding high and mighty on your fine opinion polls Cause your name's up top the ticket and you're getting out the vote They tell you don't forget the grassroots and the swelling of the ground

When your sash is on your shoulder and your city hall stands proud before the municipal rodeo For the local level governmental dossier Before the Levin City Civil Service wild bus show

That's the way the mural round of go

Now you've been in battle badly But you're doing yourself proud And those chomos don't know nothing They're just talking tough and loud But the moonshine and the sink fun are your only cronies now

When your sash falls off your shoulder and your city hall falls down down at the municipal rodeo at the local level governmental dose

at the little city civil service wild best show

that's the way the mayoral round of goes

for my next item

You've been derided and indicted and a million things besides They don't like to see the prize they got on the SUP But they don't like what you've been reaching and they're talking about about impeaching.

But it's just something that comes with any mayorality.

They're thinking they can stick you in with a one-way turkey ticket.

You meant to get them back somehow.

But your sash fell off your shoulder,

and your city hall fell down.

So do the municipal rodeo.

Do the local level governmental docibo.

Do the little city civil service wild west show.

It's a grand corral royale.

It's a goddamn thing in hell.

But that's just the way the the mural roundup goes