Pedro Calado

I said that we need to employ more pasoids in the future.

I don't know if you could be using that word until you transition is the thing.

Yeah, that's really.

You can't use that one yesterday.

You can't.

You're not.

There is an easy solution to this, you know, which is

an expensive solution.

Incredible.

I mean, I will just say with one symbol act, you can say a lot of stuff.

You can say password.

You could say faggot.

You can say type.

It's true.

You can say tranny.

That's a big one.

It's a huge one.

These are the big hits.

We're really, this is the cell.

Big, big, beautiful words that you didn't have before.

More words than you could ever imagine.

This is such an appealing pitch.

It's too bad because I was thinking of a new character.

Interesting.

And did you, did you pick out a name?

Did you think about maybe like what kind of like hairstyle or like

what kind of clothes will she be wearing i was thinking about this i i thought of a new character and i guess i can't say the name of the character so i'm going to indicate to you when to say the word that starts with p not the p word the word that starts with p i just used

which of course the

parasite

mongol

passing as what like is it still a trans thing or is it is it like being a parasite for like being a sinusized Mongol ruler of China?

No, he's passing his Chinese.

Koopa Khan was the first parsoid.

That's why he decreed that stately pleasure dome.

Getting stately pleasure dome from a Chinese parsoid?

I mean,

shit.

Sure, I'm not going to say no, but

I love history.

I love when we talk about history.

I think this is cool.

I think people enjoy this.

I had a perfect line break tweet about that I was like, if I transition, I can do the tweet.

Now you have to.

I mean, this is why I did it.

That's how they got me.

And it's because if I transition, I could do the tweet, which is about two different trans riders talking to interacting with Genghis Khan.

And one of them is a parsoid.

And the other is a brick, I guess.

Yeah,

I guess so.

Yeah.

Yeah.

sure

and how how they would hun wait hun is hun is the opposite of parsite okay i'm i'm with you yeah

i'm not telling you about the different kinds of huns we're not we're not doing this but like

somebody was telling genghis khan about the different types of huns i mean that was a whole thing

then he decreed that pleasure to

oh god i just thought of a really good joke that is both too dark for the show and also also I don't want to tell you it.

But I

maybe some of the listeners will be able to follow me there.

I'll give you the part of the punchline, which is, yeah, I guess he sure did.

And that's the punchline of the joke that I can't tell.

Oh,

you can't tell the joke?

I thought of a joke involving a specific subtype of the word hun.

uh that related to Genghis Khan.

And I was like, that's, that's too dark for the show.

And Riley, I also don't want Riley to be able to get it without transitioning.

So

to be honest, even, even if she does, I don't, I don't want, I don't want her to get like those kind of brain worms.

So, like, hey.

Um, yeah, so I think when Riley transitions, we do need to protect her from that sort of corner of the internet.

That's true.

That's true.

I want her to be just sort of,

you know, not

insufferable.

Yeah, normal to talk to, not awful.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I think there's a few directions here of brainworms, right?

I think that Riley is unlikely to go down the route of being like sort of like aggressively irony Christian and then detransitioning.

But

the kind of TTTT thing, that's a real danger, you know?

So you're saying I'm not going to be...

I'm not going to be elected Pope in Conclave 2.

That's right.

Yeah, pretty much.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Don't link Conclave, a beautiful movie, to discourse about that one,

I guess, now D-trans Grifter.

Yeah.

Well, we'll see.

We'll see where she ends up.

Don't worry.

In the back,

who am I referring to when I say, well, she or she ends up?

Interesting.

Curious.

Well, let's allow that ambiguity to keep rolling and let me welcome everybody to No Gods, No Mayors,

the show about mayors that's done by me, November, and Maddie.

I'm the mayor of this episode, and my name is Riley still.

How's everybody doing?

Well, you could keep it.

It's like, it's pretty, it's pretty like de-gendered.

Yeah.

Well, Riley works both ways.

That's what's so beautiful about it.

Yeah.

We're like,

I don't want to dox anything about Riley's situation, but there's a lot of things in his life that he's pretty set up.

And I'm just saying you should just.

You're maybe in the most advantageous position to do it of like anyone I've known who has.

Yeah.

Didn't Sun Tzu write that when, um,

to try to, uh, to try to transition when your life is stable?

Be the gender your enemy is not?

You know?

Um, yo, um, so I am the, I am the mayor of this episode, and I have decided I want to leave the Anglosphere.

You might say, but Riley,

we did an episode about Montreal.

That's not the Anglosphere.

However, it is still in an English-speaking state, if not an English-speaking nation.

The mayor we spoke about was himself Anglophone.

Famously.

Or at least the second one.

Yeah.

So I wanted to do a mayor from a non-English-speaking country.

And boy, did I find a mayor.

Because also, I want to leave some of the blue chip mayors, the big famous mayors, the Anne Hidalgos, you know, the Willie Brandts.

I want to leave them.

You know, I don't want to run through all the blue chips right away.

That's fair.

But it also sets out the promise, right, that eventually we will do every mayor in the world.

And that's a lot of mayors.

That's, we'll do it.

We're doing every mayor in order.

We've discussed this so many times.

Yeah.

But before we go into our subject of the episode, Pedro Collado, the president of the Fudjal City Council in Madeira,

by the one of my favoritely named mayors, because if you translate his name into English, it means...

This was the joke that I had seconds before picking up the call.

We found Spanish Mayor Pete.

Yeah, of course.

His name is Peter Quiet.

And that's the thing.

That's not even the best name

in this mayoral masterpiece.

No, it's like the third best.

There's one

that blows my mind with how much I love it.

There's a lot of good names in Portugal.

It's kind of like the Italy of Europe in a lot of ways.

Wait, he's Portuguese and I said Spanish.

Okay, well, it's over.

I'm retiring immediately in disgrace.

Portuguese mayor Pete.

Yeah.

Mayor Pete, you know.

All right, so look, I wanted to do a municipal update also from Ontario before we start.

One of these mayors who doesn't warrant their own episode, but it is fun to talk about.

I've been sending YouTube pictures, I think, every couple of days for the last week or so of Harold McQuaker, the mayor of Emo, Northern Ontario.

Yes.

I have seen the signs outside of Emo, Ontario that say, welcome to Emo, Ontario.

I have seen the Emo Municipal Center, which in itself is a hysterical piece of sign work.

And you just have to imagine that Emo, Ontario is quite remote and quite hard to get to, because I figure otherwise if it weren't if it were easy to get to emo the sign outside of emo would have had a queue of like boys with fringes waiting to like kiss each other in front of it in like the 2000s so it is i would say it's so number one it's one of the places of all time uh which means it is like

so if you if you look in ontario It is like closer to Winnipeg than Thunder Bay even, which, so that's meaningful to you.

This means a lot to me.

That's that's yes, yeah, that's a good direction.

I did not realize it was still Ontario over there.

Yeah, it's one of these places where, like, oh, that's also Ontario.

I didn't know that this was part of Ford Nation.

I see.

Yeah, it turns out Ontario goes away up from where you think it does.

Yeah.

And over.

It's so much bigger than you think it is.

So, Emo, Ontario, is in the part of Ontario that everyone forgets is Ontario.

It is a town of 1,300 people.

You made it very depressed.

And it has a town council of five people,

one of which is a mayor.

So you got you got like a lead singer, you've got a guitarist, you've got a rhythm guitarist, a bassist, and a drummer.

And the mayor, who I wish we could make the episode art for this episode, but I've got a better picture of Pedro Collado.

The mayor is a guy called Harold McQuaker.

And he and two other guys have fantastic name already.

Have been spot welded into the town council for years now.

Least Canadian non-conformist Canadian, John Quaker.

Yeah, so there's two, there's like, and the way that the town of Emo, Ontario works is that three of the people on the town council are like based conservatives and two of them are libs, essentially.

And this is a story about the libs being like, hey, what if we did something?

just kind of nice so that rural LGBT people understood that like, hey, you're not just for cities and like the gay parts of cities, but like the rural, like, the rural world can be as friendly to LGBT people as the cities.

Sure.

So, Harold McQuaker, the owner of Harold McQuaker Enterprises Limited, gravel road construction, excavator work, trucking system services, demolition, and septic installation and waste removal, along with his two sons.

Is there a character limit on like Company's house in Canada?

How brief do you have to be when they're doing it?

It's just called Harold McQuaker Enterprises Limited.

That's just what they do.

I urge you to look at a picture of his two large sons.

So him and his two sons.

Harold McQuaker sons.

Yeah.

Give me those boys.

Show me the boys.

Show me the large sons.

Oh, yeah.

I'm on the McQuaker Enterprises site.

And under the contact us, you can see the boys.

Can you bring the boys up, please?

Yeah.

Oh, those are two large songs.

Those are some boys.

Dale and Shane.

Yeah.

Dale and Shane, both taller than their father, proud sons of Emo.

We are the sons of the fringes you could not cut.

Yeah, what's cool about their photos is they're wearing t-shirts with striped long-sleeve shirts under them, and they're all, they've got eyeliner on.

They look great.

It's like Ontario emo's being like, it's like dungarees, but with the my uh, with the like my chemical romance band jacket over the top.

Yeah.

In every other respect, they look like guys who own a construction company in rural Ontario, except they have all of the emo style choices.

One of them has Don Trump Jr.'s hair, which is disconcerting.

It doesn't belong on an emo man.

It doesn't belong in a proud son of emo.

So in 2020, Borderland Pride requested the township declare June as Pride Month and display a rainbow flag for one week.

Like I said,

the logic for this is, hey, there are gay people in the rural parts of the world too.

Probably we should address that.

I think

it would be better if they had a gayborhood in emo, Ontario that had like 30 people living in it.

You know,

I just like, I'm really thrilled at the idea of like an emo conservative being against a pride parade because it's like the only kind of parade we're going to allow in this town is the black parade

just fully incapacitated with that one.

I feel very proud of myself.

I'm fucking dead.

You killed me.

I think this is something I don't know about.

You weren't seen, Riley.

You weren't emo.

Jesus Christ.

The Black Parade is both a My Chemical Romance album and I believe a sort of like larger concept.

It's a concept.

For a lot of where their stuff occurs, it's sort of like, you know,

the insane clown posse has the dark carnival yeah it's kind of a metaphor it's kind of like a piece of like mcr like world building functionally the black parade is yeah mr mr way is has has constructed a sort of world for the for the mcr people to live inside of and the black parade is a lot

okay all right the black parade traveling down gerrard way

yeah the uh the nearby village of techno ontario organizes the uh love parade

yeah we tried to get we tried to get comment from the mayor of Techno, Ontario, but he was grinding his teeth so badly, it was really hard to understand him.

It was 10 a.m.

and he sleeps until 2.

Only spoke German.

Yeah.

So, any case, Borderland Pride requests the town declare Pride Month and display a rainbow flag for one week.

Their proclamation was brought forward in May 2020 by Lincoln Dunn, one of the Lib counselors, like one of the two Lib counselors that's like, again, like the other three, spot welded into the community and to the

town council.

A number of disturbing comments were made during the meeting to discuss the request, which is held over Zoom, including questions from Mayor McQuaker about why there isn't also a straight pride month for Emo Ontario.

Does Emo Ontario need one of those?

You've got like 50 people.

Yeah, well, it's 1,300 people in Emo.

Not even in the town, just who are like governed by the council.

Like they don't have any, like anything in Emo onto well the the the gay brahm is 900 people and there's only 100 trade people there so it's kind of yeah this was emo emo is actually the legacy of an attempt like white supremacists used to do to like move into a community in like montana and take it over and like swamp the votes um except it's like all like emos so you know they they were successful at changing the name but not so much else it was uh it was a bunch of people looking for the warp tour getting lost and settling down

ontario and they shall name the town emo.

It was like gay rhodesia.

We're going to turn it off.

Rhodesia was like gay rhodesia.

Let's be real.

Yeah, those little shorts didn't occur by accident.

So counselors Harold Bovin and Warren Tolas

stated they would only also support a pride resolution if they deleted all the LGBT supportive language.

That's like FIFA.

That's like we'll support the concept of pride, like as an emotion.

We're all proud here.

Yeah, we're proud emos.

Yeah, we're proud of all kinds of stuff.

Do they call themselves emos or like emoans or like

emontarians?

What's the

emo just calling themselves emo kids

60-year-old man, fellow kids?

So, uh, it says, uh, the resolution was defeated three to two, and in the last four years, the case between the township and borderlands pride has made it all the way to the human rights tribunal of Ontario.

And it largely continued along the same lines.

It just because people don't know this, but like Emo is at one end of a valley, and at the other end of the valley is the sort of equally sized town of Scene.

And people from outside that valley tend to kind of like lump them all in together.

But actually, there's like a bitter rivalry.

You're suggesting that there's Canada's Matsu Valley is sort of

yeah, the Emo Scene Valley, yeah.

Yeah, so they were, um, they were going to try to quell this all by releasing a Declaration of Equality in 2022, which was introduced again by the Lib counselors led by Lincoln Dunn,

intending to help the community begin a process of healing.

So that's Lori Ann Shortread and Lincoln Dunn stated during the meeting that the declaration was intended to position the municipality as a place that is inclusive of all people on the grounds enumerated, again, in the law.

Harold Bovin, again, spoke at length in opposition to the proposed resolution, referencing, quote, websites I have visited.

Canada's so cool, right?

Because like ostensibly at the sort of like

legal level, it's woke-ish, right?

Like it has all of these things where it's like, it has a provincial human rights office.

It has a provincial human rights office that's like, we're going to make you not be homophobic.

But then those are governing an area of like, eight trillion square miles filled with

emo farmers.

Yeah, yeah exactly yeah he says he says websites he's visited and that can mean anything he could have been like on infowars or whatever or on 4chan but he might have just been like he got like sucked into like an anarchist telegram channel and he's like visibility is a trap i don't want to be out there doing a parade we've got the first mayor of uh like of emo to announce gay shame month instead yeah he's like i don't want to I just like, look, listen, guys, like we could, we could go out there and like parade around for like the approval of the, of, of like the hetero-patriarchy patriarchy or whatever i'm not interested in doing that i went on a couple of websites

yeah internezo and queer beef because because as we're as we're clear about emo was uh like taken over by lgbt people in the 90s as a kind of like uh sort of like exercise in controlling a city government and so now this guy is like he's read a lot of posts he's like the mainstream is very like up and down the middle like the chase bank float this guy hates it

this guy is keeping emo ontario safe from the chase bank float he's showing and he's showing kids that like uh like uh how many advertising brands do you recognize thing and being like this is you know this is dangerous

you can't do that with a canadian flag you can do the adbusters thing where it's like the us flag but all the stars are replaced with mcdonald's or whatever you can't do that with the canadian flag because you get one you replace the like maple leaf with mcdonald's and that's i'm putting the the ccm logo the hockey gear right in the center that's exactly really really destabilizing the system by replacing the maple leaf on the Canadian flag with the Canadian tire logo which contains a maple leaf

Boston pizza just right in the middle

Boston pizza then underneath it's a Canadian chain

First piece of merch will sell nothing will occupy one of our apartments for the rest of our lives.

Canadian flag with the Canadian tire logo.

Freaking Canadian ad busters.

We're busting ads in Canada one brand at a time by replacing the maple leaf and the Canadian flag with the bread.

I mean,

of course, like it has to be bilingual.

So it would be ad busters stroke booster de commerciale or whatever.

I can't wait to do the Toronto Maple Leafs logo personally.

Just

so confused about what point we're trying to make.

Okay, I want to get through this because I want to get to Pedro Colotto.

Bovin both denied the council's previous declaration to refuse to recognize pride had caused harm in the community.

But Quaker and Bovin both denied, excuse me.

When pressed by short read, Bovin could not appear to explain his opposition,

could not appear to explain any opposition he had to the Declaration of Equality other than that it referred to LGBT people.

Warren Tolls declared a conflict in the item at the outset of the the discussion and left the meeting room for reasons that were never made clear.

Curiously, Bovin declared a conflict after debating the item at length, then declared to vote.

The resolution passed two to one.

Because of Google Images, we've seen the emo municipal office, so what he left was a kind of breeze block cabin.

Yeah, he stormed, he stormed out of like what looks like a tiny scale model of a high school.

Yeah, it looks like the library from my very small hometown.

Just exactly.

So now there's been a tribunal that has said, okay, what you did to like basically say we won't recognize like a pride month, we think there should be straight pride month, blah, blah, blah.

Is the tribunal has now fined the town $15,000 in compensation to Borderlands Pride for their legal fees.

The township will then have to pay $10,000 of that amount.

But then Emo Mayor Harold McQuaker is personally responsible for $5,000 of that money.

It is now having his wage garnished because he's refusing to attend a 30-minute online anti-discrimination

anti-discrimination course.

Incredible.

I love woke governance.

Yeah.

Libs of TikTok has, of course, taken up his case and the Daily Mail's all over it.

But again, if you couldn't get, they're never going to get people to do stochastic terrorism in emo because it's so fucking far away from everything.

Just like a bunch of libs of TikTok people stuck in traffic in the same way that all the emo boys were.

It's like the emo boys going to like take pictures, kissing under the sign, and the libs of TikTok people just all getting into the world's biggest car accident on a one-lane road.

I love when this stuff gets blown up because you see, I found a YouTube thumbnail of like someone clearly getting radicalized by the libs of TikTok and like YouTubing about it.

But it's the most like Uber driver suck me off looking thing.

But it's like the photo of the guy leaving the emo city hall photoshopped in front of a pride flag.

And a guy just making like a sour pose face into a microphone and just goes, I think I'll pass.

And that's kind of, I mean, I think passing is a bad framing to think about it, but

well,

this is why it's all queer discourse, you know?

That's right.

Not this again.

All right, let's talk about Pedro Collado or Peter Quiet and his boss, Miguel Albuquerque.

Do you like Miguel Albuquerque?

If you like Pedro Collado

and getting bribed and getting bribed in the club

and who doesn't like getting bribed in the club that's got to be one of my favorite locations to get bribed in have a nice time take a brief going to the bathroom you come out with a sock full of money well no because it's in portugal so no socks you just come out with like a loose thing of euros wrapped around your loafer

I've accidentally made like hidden heels in my loafer because it's so many euros under my foot.

Yeah, just a bunch of very colorful plastic euro notes all like elastic band wrapped around my ankle yeah you can see them between my the my capri pants and my loafers there's a lot of room there to show off the euros i've got that's actually why capri pants are invented more room for bribes

so i'm going to read you now a tweet and you can see the tweet uh from the 13th of january 2024 this is Pedro Collado's last tweet.

Oh boy.

This sounds like a boy's novel.

Pedro Collado's last tweet.

Very happy for the full pavilion and the great victory and excellent performance of Madeira SAD against BM Elce.

For this was always the first game of the quarterfinals.

For this first game of the quarterfinals of the EHF European Cup, handball will always be one of my favorite sports.

13th of January, 2024.

Uh-huh.

That's what a great poignant note to end on.

Handball will always be one of my favorite sports, and then something consequential happens to you.

So January 24th, 2024.

And again,

this is.

Pedro Collado, president of the Funchal City Council.

Funchal is the capital of the island of Madeira, who is now suspected of corruption.

So this is also translated.

Has left the Cancela prison where he spent the night after his arrest yesterday.

He's been canceled.

He's been canceled so hard they sent him to prison.

He pissed off the residents of Emo and they sent him to cancel prison.

So like this is on Madeira, an island which features in the Aubrey Matcharin books, and where Stephen Matcharin is briefly imprisoned.

Was he in fucking the cancel culture prison?

So, Stephen Matarin, Madeira is in the Aubrey Matcharin books.

Stephen Matcharin was imprisoned on Menorca, I'm afraid.

But you know what?

You're not going to go home with nothing.

Let's see what she's won.

So, basically, Pedro Colado's like

Canadian flag with the Canadian tire logo on it.

Yeah, our star prize.

No, No, so Pedro Collado's last normal thing he ever got to say as a politician that was recorded was, handball will always be one of my favorite sports.

Being dragged off to prison and breaking free of my guards for a second to rush to a microphone and go, handball will always be one of my favorite sports.

No, there are, as you may be surprised to know, no more posts on X the Everything app by Pedro Collado.

Anyway.

That is a great great shame.

A great, great shame.

The mayor of Funchal was arrested and released.

The investigation is, I believe, still ongoing.

He went back to Funchal, and this is from the Madeira Times.

Now he will dedicate himself to defending this process and to private activity, saying,

I will dedicate myself to private activity, and I want to move away from everything that is public, political, or party functions.

Me going into my bedroom, dedicating myself to private activity.

I'm going to focus on handball from now on.

Yeah.

Well, he is a big sportsman.

Also, this is some Google Translate humor.

I promise there won't be any more of this after this, which is Pedro Collado spent the last three weeks detained in the Judiciary Police Dungeon.

A time that you describe

in the canceled dungeon.

Yeah.

Again, I think that that probably is just the normal.

I think that's the normal way to refer to it in Portuguese.

It happens to be the translation.

Yeah, like some kind of pre-trial dungeon.

It doesn't put him in an oubliette.

That's crazy.

He's in the oubliette in the garden of the Alcazaba, and they're looking down at him while they have a party.

That's crazy.

Pedro Collado, come on.

A time that was described as crucial for analyzing the public prosecutor's presentation and preferring defense and so on and so on.

So this huge corruption scandal has cast this shadow over Madeira, threatening to topple its government.

Under investigation is its top political leader, not just Peter Quiet, the mayor of Funchal, but also Miguel Albuquerque, former mayor of Funchal and current president of Madeira.

And Miguel Albuquerque is very funny, as is Pedro Collado, because in classic continental European European form, they're from a party that's just called like the Social Democratic Party.

But when you look at it, they're like, Yeah, we believe in restoring the monarchy.

I love, I love social democracy.

Yeah, it's like the right-wing party that believes in restoring the monarchy.

And like, one of Miguel Albuquerque's like last statements before all this happened was, The Habsburg family will always be very special to the people of Madeira.

So,

my man ran on like a three-point plan, right?

King back,

reoccupy Angola, handball for everyone.

And then for this third one only,

they put him in cancella dungeon.

I mean,

if I was like the president of like a European country that was basically, well, you know, you look at a map, it should be in Africa.

I would also be concerned about

maybe the king coming back because you are in, you know, like the colonialism zone extremely.

So this is these two guys were

all like wrapped up in this corruption scandal that also included several major businessmen from the island, like property developers.

I mean,

this is a little this is this is handy.

This is a handy geographic location for corruption, right?

Because you can get the kind of bribes equivalent of island gigantism.

Because like they're not flying alone, like contrary to the BBC documentary series Death in Paradise, they're not often flying like the best cops out to these tiny picturesque islands, right?

So like, it's like one cop who you are friends with and probably also bribing, and then everybody knows everybody else, and nobody's coming from like Madrid or Lisbon or whatever the fuck to come and investigate you.

Well,

until they do.

So

keep that thought in mind.

I made the same mistake as Mayor Pedro.

They will never fly two Air Force planes carrying 270 criminal investigators, including two judges and six magistrates from Lisbon.

That's that will never happen.

That's the most arrested I've ever heard of anyone getting.

I love the idea of them, like para, you know, like para-dropping a bunch of identical inspector-detector-looking motherfuckers in transcoats in Fedora.

All with notebooks.

The first airborne detective regimen.

So,

so basically, um, the

uh, the other people it implicated as well, if not charged, but like involved, includes Cristiano Ronaldo, who owns some of the land on which one of the hotels was going to be built.

Because, of course, it's about hotels.

The guy with the statue?

That guy?

Yeah, that's Cristiano Ronaldo?

Yeah.

He's from there.

Yeah, he's from Madeira.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

So two of the island's construction magnates,

two of my favorite names in this.

The first one, Avelido Farinha, so Aviline Flower.

That's the.

Avelinho Farinha is the Portuguese dennis Farina.

Go on.

My favorite name, especially because he also went to the Cancela prison and received a

custodial sentence before his trial

with fucking Pedro Colado, Carlos Custodio.

Become Carl the janitor.

And they're giving him a sentencio custodio.

custodio.

Yeah, it's basically like you called him Charles Jail.

Yeah, Mr.

Jail, Mr.

Quiet, and Mr.

Flower, what about this is funny?

Yeah, come on.

I bet you there won't be any more funny names in this document.

I feel as confident about that as I do that the Portuguese military is not going to fly two jets full of inspector detector looking motherfuckers

onto my tiny

They will never drop an easy company amount of judges and magistrates onto Madeira specifically to fuck with me.

You laugh about this, right?

But like, you know, obviously David Schwimmer, like Captain Sobel, he was not a good officer, but he really bonded them together against him in the early episodes.

And that's what gave them the strength to investigate Pedro Quiet.

So who is Peter Quiet?

There's not much really about his life.

Well, he's, you know, he keeps very quiet.

Yeah, he doesn't say.

No, he doesn't say he's Peter Quiet.

He's not a very voluminous guy.

This Peter Quiet for some reason.

So he keeps to himself, huh?

He is professionally an accountant by training, just like fucking Michael Applebaum.

And he worked at KPMG and then a number of Portuguese banks, including Esperito Santo and Caixa General.

He was elected to Funchal City Council in 2005 under Miguel Albuquerque.

They were like, we want a safe pair of hands.

Nice, quiet accountant, you know?

Shouldn't be any big news.

We want quiet Peter,

not ostentatious Peter.

Yeah, they elected him and they were like, We are.

It was weird that they were so specific, but they were like, We are certain that this will not lead to two Portuguese military airplanes touching down at our airport field.

Yeah, with the aforementioned inspector detector.

Like, motherfuckers.

A tank wearing a fedora rolling out of the fucking

No matter what that old woman said, I don't think that's ever going to happen.

I told you to stop talking to her.

As a counselor, he was given portfolios of, among other things, and given that I've already said Madeira is hot Montreal, I think you'll be able to see that this is where the trouble begins.

Finance competition.

And he was vice president to the municipal council and owned like contracting responsibilities.

Uh-huh.

Sure.

Uh-huh.

Then he immediately went to go work

in private practice as an advisor to the management of the Avellino Farinha Enterprises, the largest construction firm on the island that also has a considerable presence.

You'd think that that might not be legal if you were in charge of what contracts the island government gives out to be like, oh, by the way, I'm also the main property developer's accountant.

Yeah.

Well, he wasn't working for the city council anymore.

He left for over 10 minutes.

Yeah.

I mean, I feel like construction and

building development is so rarely a vector for graft that they probably were really shocked.

So

this construction firm works, is the biggest construction firm in the island.

He also has considerable presence in Senegal and Mauritania.

He's also a huge racing and rally driving enthusiast and is one of the.

I was not expecting, you said huge race, and I'm like,

interesting.

Where are we going with this?

Racing.

He's a racing enthusiast.

He's a racingist, you might say.

Yeah, he's a racingst.

This is some shit that the mayor of Emo is calling people.

Damn, I'm feeling like a racingst rally.

That's when you're a racist, but you're running very fast.

Yeah, so the racingst.

Racingst.

Racingst.

It's the most racing you can be.

So what is the charge?

So Albuquerque, Collado, and Farinha,

as well as Custodio, were charged with crimes against the rule of law, malfeasance, undue receipt of advantage, receiving of bribes, bribery, economic participation in business, abuse of power, and graft.

Economic participation in business is a crime?

The EU has gone way too far with this anti-capitalist shit, I think.

So, I think I participate economically in a business.

So, I think what that means is improper participation.

They charge them for looking like the capitalist cartoons from like old Soviet newspapers.

If it's illegal to participate in the business, put me in the dungeon right now.

Take me to Cancella prison.

So, prosecutors suspect that there was collusion between the regional government led by Albuquerque Collado and members of the Pestana Hotel Group.

The Albuquerque regional government, you might say, leading to no confusion whatsoever.

Pestana was a partnership set up with Christian Ronaldo and a property developer named named Dionysus Pestana.

Now we're talking.

I love a Dionysus.

I love a good Dionysus.

Also, I misheard you when you said pestada for the first time and I thought you said tostada.

And I'm like, this is a delicious name for a hotel group.

Pretty flavorful corruption, you know.

Basically,

and this is all around the development of a private beach that Ronaldo owns, but that is like environmentally protected by Madeira.

Uh-huh.

So there are two other official suspects in that particular probe, including Susanna Prada, the former Regional Secretary for the Environment, and her husband, Antonio Prada, who is a director of the Pestana group.

No relationship.

You want to prada the like handbags, guys, right?

No, no, he's a cousin of cursed Tony, his cousin Tony Prada.

This is fashion, Tony.

We're about to take this all the way to the top and charge Cristiano Ronaldo with like economic participation in the beach.

So basically,

Susanna Prada, the regional secretary for the environment, was married to the guy who was a director of the hotel that was going to be built on what used to be the protected beach.

This is all centered on that project,

as well as another one called Dubai in Madeira.

But it can't be there because it's already in Dubai, which is several thousand miles away.

I think they were just like, It's as stylish as Dubai, but it's in Madeira.

They're going to build one of those big sandbar hotels, but it looks like a big bottle of Madeira.

Buying a Prada bag at Dubai and Madeira, except it's like not Prada Italy.

It's these guys Prada.

It's Tony Prada's

Tony Prada's bag.

It's just like a plastic bag full of, again, very colorful plastic Euro notes.

Really, they should be paying me.

And I guess they are.

Economic participation in.

I'm going to keep thinking about economic participation.

I know it's just a like.

translation thing, but like

we're charging you with like receiving goods and services.

I hope you didn't pay for them.

Take them to the cancel culture.

The public prosecutor's office also accuses Socio Correa, headed by a different guy called Custodio, Custodio Correa, of billing 18 million euros in contracts between 2011 and 2024 in a web of corruption that ended up handing basically everything,

all the public works in the autonomous, in the region of Madeira to the AFA group.

All you need to know is that there are a bunch of construction companies that seem quite close to one another, and then all of them have these links into into the city council of Funchal.

And they're all building like luxury hotels on Ronaldo's protected beach, killing a bunch of like Portuguese endangered seabirds or whatever.

Stuff like that.

Yeah.

Like more than half of all public money distributed by the government of Madeira, like all public money went to AFA ever since Pedro Collaudo became mayor.

That's crazy.

How?

What the hell?

I mean, I guess it really, they really were trying to build like Dubai and Madeira.

Like, what the hell were they building in there?

Well, I,

we know, we all know.

Are you going to tell me that they were going to try and do the line too, but it just goes from Madeira to like Mauritania?

That'd be kind of sweet.

I can't legally say what I think they were trying to do.

Okay, sure.

Interesting.

I mean, if you transition, you might be able to.

God damn it.

La Linea.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This is, again, a quote from a local report.

If we add to awards made by the regional government, the contracts distributed by all public entities in all of Madeira, including the Madeira Electricity Company, then Avellino Farinha, so Avaline Flowers, influence on the relationship between local

contractors and the state is even greater.

His companies, individually or in consortium with other companies, have invoiced half a billion euros to Madeira since 2015, not counting the 59 million earned from the municipalities.

This guy is so rich.

Do they just do hotels?

Is he just the hotel guy?

Because I don't even think Madeira is that big of a tourist tourist destination, right?

Like

it's pretty big for Brits in Portuguese, and not when no one else really.

The vibes out there.

There is also, but this is also stuff like power generation, building hospitals, like everything.

It just so happens that a lot, some of this wrongdoing was unearthed in relation to some hotels.

So like everywhere you go in Madeira, right, these guys are making money off you.

in like a corrupt way.

You go into the airport and the airport was like paved by them.

You check into your hotel, built on like a sort of like endangered seabird nest and they built the hotel.

You fall, you know, the substandard like balcony collapses and you fall onto the beach crushing like a seabird and like breaking your leg.

And then you go to the hospital that they also built.

That's correct.

Yes.

Madeira is like a company town.

Yeah, well, I was going to say it's like a company town or it's like a Potemkin village, you know, like it's all like concrete hastily thrown up by like three guys who appear to be in a real estate, a real estate scam.

yeah it's it's all peter quiet avaline flower

and charlie jail

charlie jail who built the prison i need to know who built the the cansella dungeon at this point because getting thrown into your own dungeon is like medieval quite literally yeah that's on the mainland uh so

for example they say uh formosa bay residences with 213 luxury apartments 250 meters from the beach is being built in an area protected by funchal's municipal development plan but then they suspended the plan unlocking the start of the work.

So this is where they went, okay, something's up here.

They've sparked protests from environmentalists, opposition parties, and they point out that Formosa was the last undeveloped beach in all of Funchal.

Manuel Cunha, representative of the Greens, said they drew attention to the questionable legality of the decision, saying that no planning or licensing plan for Formosa Bay had ever been approved for residences.

And what they say about Dubai-Madeira, about itself, is they say in the middle of the Atlantic that a highly new, exclusive haven of natural and architectural beauty will rise.

The Dubai

project will be a residential area of excellence with large green leisure spaces, wonderful views of the sea, and Cabo Guerão, which will provide a unique sunset to residents and a dream lifestyle.

Why call it Dubai specifically?

What vision of affluence are you going for in a country that I mean, this is the other thing, right?

Is that like I recognize a lot of this stuff from the real like boomtown years of like Spanish and Portuguese tourism?

And obviously, there's a conversation in like Spain and Portugal now about how like sort of parasitical like like tourism is on like local economies and like how it kind of like chokes like, you know, urban planning and development and all of that.

Right.

But like it really seems like these guys, just irrespective of any kind of like broader conditions, were just going like full force on it all the time.

Yeah.

Even through like recession, through like COVID, all the rest of it, they were determined to kill as many seabirds as possible by building a Dubai style luxury development on top of them.

Well, you could either you could either do do nothing about all the albatrosses landing on my yard, giving me bad luck, or you could do something about it.

A guy who's like real passionate in life is to see an albatross drowning in concrete and is just like, do what you love.

You'll never work a day in your life.

That's why they call me Charlie Jail because I'm jailing the albatrosses.

But also, it goes beyond construction.

The albatross jail?

The building's a cover for the albatross jail that's in the sub-basement.

Yeah.

So this is from the Portugal resident.

Albatross parasite.

Really weird a movie.

So this is from a paper called

The Portugal Resident, which is a great article.

Yeah, great size.

It's an English language paper.

It says, what next for Madeira, regional president cited for eight crimes?

The quote, alleged favoritism is also cited in the choice of companies.

that won public tenders to organize jazz festivals in Funchal in 2022 and 2023, with public prosecutors noting that the winning entity was set up four days before the tender was submitted and that it never organized an event.

Doing doing sort of like a corrupt jazz festival is in itself a great bit.

Just there's something about that combination of like crime and venue that really grabs me.

I mean, if nothing else, it lends a whole like air of like noir, like detective movie to the whole thing to be like, this whole jazz festival is corrupt.

And there's like a mysterious saxophone rip in the background.

All I can think about is like trying to bribe Dickie Greenleaf at the very loud club and I'm like yelling in his ear like 20,000 euros and he's like, I'm thinking of taking up the drums.

So cool.

So they say and they say like all of this is centers around this privileged relationship with great proximity and informality that exists between Albuquerque, Collado, and Farinha.

Yeah, the Albuquerque Collado Farina network,

if you will.

This show sponsored by Albuquerque Collado Farinha.

Prosecutors add that as part of this relationship, Collado, quote, acted and still acts as a common denominator for the other suspects, serving as an intermediary in order to safeguard the interests of the AFA group with the regional government in the municipality of Funchal.

I have a question.

I have a question.

How did these guys get caught?

Right.

Well, I know the functional thing of how they got caught, which is they got the end of the wolf of wall street with like a kind of like parachute regiment full of cops, right?

But like, how did how did Lisbon, I guess, find out that this was happening?

Well, because it was like, it's one of these things that's sort of an open secret.

And then they started searching people's houses and they found evidence that it was happening.

Okay.

You never put evidence in your house.

It's the first place they look.

My evidence is.

You put it in your albatross basement.

I mean, really, this is why a lot of it comes up with the hotels, right?

It's so full of albatrosses.

They've just got like the filing cabinets covered in albatross shit.

You're never getting any of those documents back.

Yeah, to answer your question, November, they found it because one of the albatrosses ratted

one of these albatrosses is wearing a tiny little wire.

An albatross is a large bird, wearing a very large wire.

Yeah.

An albatross wearing an antique gramophone.

Check this shit out.

The crime of the ancient mariner.

There we go.

A lot of it also comes from the hotel, right?

Where people are like, hey, it looks like this hotel is super illegal.

And it looks like all the decisions made in building it are super illegal.

We should look into this at all.

And then the cop in Lisbon reading the newspaper and being like, the Dubai of Madeira.

Well, Dubai is extremely corrupt and criminal.

So when they searched Collado's house, they were like, hey, is this guy up to something?

They found

a diamond wrapped in paper in the mayor's desk drawer, 15 luxury watches, and

17,000 pounds worth of Euros at his home.

Three classic signs that a guy might be up to something.

Your Honor, I was wrapping that diamond in wrapping paper to give it to a friend of mine.

To you, actually.

It was a gift for you, okay?

Felice Navidad, Your Honor.

You've ruined the surprise, Your Honor.

We can't gaslight a judge in every episode.

It's like fucking like post-reboot Doctor Who, where there's an unspoken like thread through the season, but it's us gaslighting a judge.

Your Honor, why do you go through my things?

That gift was for you, and now I'm not going to give it to you.

Okay,

that was going to be for you, and now I'm not going to give it to you.

Wait, sorry, you unwrapped it without asking me?

Okay, Your Honor.

I just didn't know that we were that kind of family, Your Honor.

I thought we trusted each other.

I'm doing my part to try to bring some like

spontaneity.

Sorry for getting you a gift, I guess.

Well, you said wrapped in paper.

That doesn't necessarily imply wrapping paper.

Like, this could be anything.

It could be like old grease paper.

You could have wrapped this in printer paper, like the most texturally unsatisfying way to wrap a diamond.

Yeah, I actually printed out from, I just made a real quick Word document that said, not a diamond.

I printed it out and I wrapped it around the diamond.

Okay, Maddie, Maddie, Maddie.

That is what his defense lawyer tried to do: was like, oh, that's not a diamond.

That's not what I did.

It's a cubic zirconia.

Yeah, that's what they claimed.

And then, like, the mint analyzed it was like, no, this is a diamond.

I mean, being pushed legally into claiming that your jewelry or whatever is fake is really, that's a really

that's a svarsky crystal I bought at the mall, Your Honor.

So basically, 20,000 euros was found at his house, 10,000 at his mother's home, and he's been linked to an additional half a million Euros found in a safe.

And we're going to get back to the safe.

I mean, maybe, Your Honor, if you took better care of your mother, you wouldn't feel so guilty and start looking into how I take care of mine, okay?

Yeah.

Hey, you know what?

Charity begins at home, Your Honor.

When was the last time you called her, Your Honor?

Like,

I'm coming over all the time.

I'm having lunch.

I'm leaving her bundles of like Euros wrapped in printer paper.

You know, what are you doing?

Yeah.

If I ever have to go and she has a fall, I can't count on you to be there, Your Honor.

I think there's too much pressure on me to take care of our aging mother.

So.

Basically, in total, the Funchal Bayer and his mother hid 100,000 Euros in cash and deposits.

That's quite a lot of euros, you know, and I want to know where they were storing them.

Is this a classic like cash in the freezer job?

Or is this like...

Cash in the socks, you know?

Yeah, like more printer paper.

Like they actually caught him by looking at the printer paper expenses.

A lot of it was also

just in deposits that were like originally given to his mother.

So he tried to hide it in his mother's bank account.

So they were on the printer paper, you might say.

So again,

this is more...

Again, this is translated.

I wish I spoke Portuguese for this one.

I had to subscribe to a Portuguese newspaper and then unsubscribe from it just to get some more information on this.

The Judiciary Police Inspectors found suspicious deposits in accounts reported by CNN Portugal tracking at least 70,000 euros that reached the hands of the mayor of Funchal, which are believed to have originated from the corruption pacts he signed with construction companies.

According to the public ministry, Pedro Collado was bribed to, quote, and this is incredible, finance the rally competitions to which he dedicates himself in a personal capacity as well as other expenses in his private life this isn't spectre detector it's speed racer we did it we did it

he was cheating on handball with rallying um look rally he only said handball is one of his favorite sports he's actually like a european level competitive rally driver and has won madeira's wine rally a few times that's the one we have to drive drunk right

he could have gotten away from the cops in the most entertaining car chase i've ever seen.

Well, he's the navigator.

He needs his

principal paper comes back again.

That's why he had all of it.

He was wrapping the diamonds.

You just unwrap the diamond.

It's just say, why does it go like, you know, moderate three into four don't cut for like four pages.

So this is this is actually from legal, like the judgment

that were the arraignment that was released.

I don't know what they call it.

Yeah, it opens up with like, I'm not acting crazy.

The defendants, Pedro Collado and Custodio Correa.

I think you're really like doing Davo to me right now.

Depose, arrests,

reverse,

rearrest, rearrest,

vote, don't forget, vote.

This is that shit that Luigi Panettone was like inscribing on those bullets.

So the defendants, Pedro Collado and Custodio Correa,

devised a scheme between themselves, which involved the existence of apparently legal sponsorships so that the former would bear the expenses, inherit, and participating for several years in rally competitions, with the latter subsequently obtaining advantages and benefits arising from contracts with public bodies directly or indirectly dependent on the former, in which the contract was awarded to e.g., Socio Correa

Engineering, where he's currently chairman of the board.

During searching for this one, this is interesting.

This is interesting, right, because it's not the first time that I've heard of motorsport being used as a sort of a front for crime, right?

In particular, back in the bad old days, this was decades ago, it used to be a thing that because rally cars had to be like moved around Europe and around the world and like disassembled and have a lot of spare parts and stuff,

there used to be a real network of like moving drugs inside rally cars.

So doing this with like like money laundering through rallying sponsorship is like a really like interesting wrinkle on that.

Oh,

believe me, it is.

So during searches at one of the companies that have provided money in recent years to the rally car of

Collado, iCloud Solutions, the Judiciary Police found one of the managing partners on site to give a statement.

Tolentino Pereira told inspectors that Collado and his driver, Alexandra Camacho, have effective control of the Vespas Club, which is the most famous nightclub in Funchal, where most of the money gets laundered.

They were bribing Dickie Greenleaf and the Too Loud Nightclub.

Yeah, yeah.

You're sort of predicting all of it.

During the police visit, Tolentino explained that although the company contributed to the rally team, no sponsorship or advertising contract was ever signed, with the money being channeled to companies indicated by Collado and Camacho, with paying 17,500 euros just in 2023.

Why does your rally car have a bunch of stickers on the outside of it that just say crimes?

Yeah.

Furthermore, in October 2020, he ended up hiring Camacho as an employee of his company.

And

since he began sponsoring Team Vespas in 2017, 2017, the company has won 1.8 million euros in public contracts in the autonomous region of Madeira.

So this is much smaller, but it still seems to be related.

It's just like, well, we just know about winning, you know?

Yeah, it's also very impressive to win a rally race on a Vespa, I'll say.

Just like drifting a tiny little like Moses goosa or

just a cute idea.

I don't know.

Would explain why you want to like kill all the albatrosses if you're trying to ride a like a rally route on a Vespa, getting swooped on all the time.

So, yeah, so basically,

we say, how did the money move around?

We're talking about this club.

The most famous nightclub in Funchal, this is now what I sort of subscribe to a newspaper to get, is believed to have been a platform for the circulation of cash between employers and government officials in Madeira.

Authorities are investigating.

Pedro Collado, co-driver of his rally team, is suspected of favoring the companies that sponsor it in public contracts.

Located on Avienda San Carnero in Funchal, the Vespa nightclub is one of the most popular nightlife spots on the island.

Saint Meat Street?

I guess.

Perhaps.

All the correspondents sent to the Team Vespas motor racing team owned by Pedro Collado is sent to this address.

It means sheep.

Wait, what?

What?

Saint sheep?

Holy sheep.

Holy lamb.

Holy lamb.

Holy lamb.

We got there.

We got there in the end.

By reasoning our way to an extremely Catholic country, we got there in the end.

I also go to the nightclub on Lamb of God Street.

The club is managed by Emmanuel Rabello, whose house was searched by the police on the 24th of January.

Yeah, he was very compliant, curiously.

Inside the house, they found a safe built into the wall containing 13 messages, which had envelopes that had messages written on them.

And this is back from the court documents.

One letterhead envelope with the Vespas logo included handwritten text saying, quote, let the sun shine in.

Cash with a total of 500,000 euros with packaging of 13 envelopes, also with the Vespas logo, and with the handwritten words, quote, enjoy life.

Bright envelope, forever smile.

Thanks, man.

Just like getting my bribe and be like, wow, everything in Portugal is so colorful.

I can't believe this is my life smiling through it all.

You smile, always smile.

The next one, O Generoso.

What a smile.

Keep smiling.

Life is great.

Shine on me.

O Generoso, B.

Good, very well.

Thank you.

C'est la vie belle.

These guys are having such a great time.

Okay,

this is the shit that, like, this is the shit that, like, a European chaser who doesn't speak good English says to you when he finds out you're trans.

Let the sun shine in.

I'm just like making my excuses and heading for the bathroom at this point.

Just calling after forever smile, bright envelope.

I'm pretty certain I've seen like grinder messages that are like this.

Yeah, I was going to say, I think C la Vibel is my Instagram not responded to.

Message requests, unrest.

So the money found in the house is also the formal headquarters of the Vespus company.

It was used to launder money from different sources for different purposes.

According to the investigation, this money ought to be linked to Pedro Collado, former president of the Chamber of Hujal and former vice president of the regional government.

So what else do they find?

So, yeah, like I say,

hold on, hold on.

Isn't this the same place that Keir Starmer just went tobogganing?

Hang on.

Because I'm on the Funchal Wikipedia page under tourism, and I've just seen a toboggan.

So I'm thinking this is a tobogganing-related sort of environment.

So Starmer is only the navigator for the toboggins.

So it's actually not as.

Yeah, it's pretty straightforward, actually, because it's only one direction.

It's just downhill.

It is in Funchal.

He clicks up a stack of papers that says downhill, downhill, downhill, downhill.

I simply think that Keir Starmer must resign resign in disgrace, having been on vacation to the same town where Mr.

Envelope, Mr.

Bryce Envelope, was bribing people.

So they found, like I said, they found these huge amounts of

notes, finding lots of Euros in cash, a stone that by all indications is a diamond, as I mentioned.

But there was this like drawn-out argument where his lawyer was like, no, it's a worthless keeping zirconia.

And the lawyer then admitted that he initially said, quote, the value of the object was negligible, but the best way to describe it was to have said to be negligible.

I heard a lot of places this diamond is not worth 40,000 euros.

So, what I say now is that I continue to have every reason to trust the statement I made, but I know very little about diamonds.

I'm a lawyer, not a diamond appraiser, but he told me it was a cubic zirconia.

Hiding the jeweler's loop behind my back.

CNN Portugal reported that the diamond is real.

And according to an assessment made by the equivalent of the Portuguese equivalent of the mint, it's worth 50K.

Then the Mint said, no, we didn't value the diamond and so on and so on.

So it's a little bit unclear, but I do think it's very funny.

It goes around and around.

It's a real like jeweler's loop.

I just think it's very funny that the lawyer had to eventually say, look, I don't know about diamonds, okay?

Is it real?

I don't know, Your Honor.

Many people say we live in a simulation.

Is anything real?

Your honor.

What is reality, Your Honor?

Yeah.

What's your sign, Your Honor?

It is so spontaneous.

I really feel like a Pisces vibe coming off you.

Manic Pixie Dream Judge.

Yeah,

I think it's time to stop gaslighting the judge and start doing the pickup artist to the judge.

Your Honor, pick a card.

The judge is pickup artisting you, given that he's wearing a big distinctive hat.

He's peacocking.

He's trying to pick me up and put me into a dungeon.

Yeah.

Final dates like that.

This is, yeah.

according to according to the prosecutor alexandra nunez avelito farinha who also owns the savoy hotel chain in uh madeira gave quote pedro colado unlimited access to the facilities of the savoy palace hotel and offered him wine and other alcoholic beverages the value of which has been determined as no less than 150 euros

he he offered him upwards of two bottles of quite sweet wine and and he was like i shouldn't i have a rally race later and also i find it a bit like too sweet, which is not what I like.

Also, Avellino Ferreira bore part of the cost of the 2022 and 23 Christmas parties of the aforementioned Regional Secretariat of Madeira and the cost related to the DJ service at the 2023 Christmas party of the Regional Secretariat of Finance.

He hires your work like Christmas party DJ and you let him build a hotel on top of some seabirds?

I guess so.

That's sort of where we're going here.

It feels like it.

All right, so where are they now?

Prison.

Well, no,

the trial is still ongoing.

But according to RTP Madeira, Alexandra Camacho and Pedro Collado, who is now withdrawn from public life, will participate in the Madeira wine rally with a Toyota Yaris Rally 2.

The first rally car to have a GPS tracker from the police on it.

They're both wearing ankle bracelets in the thing.

The reigning Portugal regional champions are now back on the road with a vehicle making its debut on the asphalt in Portugal.

The rally Vigno Madeira has 90 entrants.

Race organizers hope that the car does not disappear into a secret tunnel, never to be seen again.

Pedro Collado has left the CMF, but not the rallies, as we can see.

One of the accusations leveled against him was precisely that of benefiting Alexandro Camacho, it should be remembered.

However, these accusations remain unproven, and the case still has a long way to go, like the rally.

So, we then have to say, allegedly, in front of everything, just in case, when the entire Portuguese Air Force dumped a bunch of like

detectives on the thing, they got the wrong guys.

They're doing the Normandy landing, but with detectives.

Anyway, they're all huddled up in the amphibious vehicle.

All flipping quarters and smoking cigarettes.

I hope that was a nice entry.

Sister, just one last thing.

My wife, she's, you know, I don't know a lot about these things, but my wife really likes navel invasions.

So, look, I hope that was a nice entry into our first non-Anglophone country, if not non-Anglophone nation within a country, mayor.

That was beautiful.

That was wonderful.

Thank you for taking us on a sort of beautiful beach vacation to Hot Montreal.

It was a beautiful toboggan ride through

a wine region of which I'm not overly fond.

Yeah, it was, it was, what a wine rally it was.

I'm just happy that he's still, look, handball, he may no longer be talking about, but rallying, he's still going.

He's still drifting.

That's beautiful.

I want to thank everybody for listening to No Gods, No Mayors.

This is a free episode.

This is a free episode.

It's a free episode.

And we are going to be back with a bonus next week.

Who's mayor next week?

I am the mayor.

And I believe I'm taking us to beautiful Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

Is it a history mayor?

I actually misspoke earlier when I said it was a history mayor when we were talking.

It is a contemporaneous mayor,

but he's a real guy.

Okay.

I've been also loving all of these suggestions of mayors that people have been sending in.

We already have the order that we're doing.

So if you suggest a mayor.

I'm going to get into those accordingly.

Well, I'm going to say we already have the order worked out.

If you suggest a mayor, we will not change the order.

However, it might be that the order we were going to do the mayor is in.

It just so happened that the mayor you're suggesting is there, is like like there.

Yeah, if you have enough suggestions, they jump the line.

Look, every mayor is in a hierarchy, and we're doing them in that order.

George Garner happened to be in the order.

It doesn't matter that he was in the news.

Yeah, that was just a crazy coincidence.

That was wild.

All right, all right.

Thank you for listening, No Gods, No Mayors.

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