PREVIEW: The Greatest Showman (2017)

Whoever, since you, now that you, this is like your third or fourth week of clapping, and you're getting, you're getting a real like sort of like joie de vie with it, you're very like, it's true.

There we go.

It's true.

You know, it's, I really enjoy it.

I find that like lending an air of whimsy to proceedings really, really helps.

You know, much like, much like P.T.

Barnum did

in

the movie The Greatest.

An era of humbug.

Oh my God,

you're You're leaping right into it, huh?

I thought so.

I thought so.

I mean, listen, the thing is-we don't want to go to do our little, like, you know, assign Patrick Star at birth bit, you know?

Yeah, I could do a series of bits about not doing voice training.

That would be cool.

Um, yeah, I mean, listen, we could, we could do some like silly bullshit like that ahead of time.

It's just, I'm, I'm really excited to talk about this movie.

You are

did you both like the film?

No, listen, listen, I

wouldn't go that far.

I think, I think this is one of the...

It's not inoffensive.

It's certainly not good

as a film or as a musical.

However,

you must understand about me, I am a little faggot.

And as such,

listen to this, not on headphones, by the way.

The thing about this is any musical, any musical, I will receive like a baseline level of enjoyment.

And so

I'm kind of like Anton ego in the sense that like, I'm specifically trying to avoid musicals that I know I don't want to like because I will like them.

Like I don't want to see Hamilton.

I don't want to see Wicked because I will be filled with little like homosexual joy and whimsy in my heart.

And I don't want that.

Right.

And so being forced to see this for work, you must understand, regardless of how I feel about the film, regardless of how I feel about its politics, the baseline level of joy and whimsy is there.

Yeah, that's that's interesting because I, too, am a little faggot.

Interesting.

Riley, are you aware that if you start taking Easter Doll, you too can say it?

You could say the word because you get called it enough on the street.

And that legally means you can say it.

I think we could get MK Ultra money by proposing that trade.

Be like, look,

just take the Easter channel.

Or like, you know, what are those like lower East side, you know, what are those Lower East side sort of affecting always always chewing a Zen guys?

Lower East Transportation.

Do you remember those like anti-racist dinners that you would pay someone to like

$5,000 to come over and educate you on how not to be racist?

We in every dinner at my house.

Yeah, I'm going bankrupt over here because I keep paying $5,000 to come over and have dinner with you.

We remember this.

We remember Sayara Rao's thing of like anti-racist lunches, right?

I think we can do this except

for $5,000 each, me and Massey will come to your location plus travel costs.

Obviously.

And we will like transition you.

You'll get the East Radiol out of like some kind of cool attacher case and then guide you through being able to say the F slur.

That's right.

That's that's the service that we offer.

Yeah.

I mean, I'd be giving you a strategy and an Attache case, but yes.

I think, though, that's a good service.

Also, I like that nobody cannot pay transport costs for at least one of you.

There's nobody.

We're very, yeah, exactly.

You think you're getting away with it on the cheap, you know, by living in either Glasgow or New York City?

And you would be wrong because you still have to get the other one of us.

We're like the two Coca-Cola executives.

We can never be in the same location at the same time.

Or else people might forget how to be trans.

That's right.

There's the silly bullshit that doesn't talk about the movie.

But I will say, in terms of being a little faggot, I'm a different kind of little faggot, faggot, which is a tri-state area Jewish faggot, which means

I hate this musical because Pasick and Paul are two of my least favorite living artists, the guys who wrote the music for this fucking thing.

And awful.

So I am taking on the sort of like, I am a caddy bitch when it comes to the musicals because I know they could be better because I do love the musical theater.

having grown up with it severely.

Yeah.

Whereas I have the kind of like at the remove of being from London, which has a musical theater scene, but like it's not New York City, right?

And so consequently,

I'm just like, I just like

everything a bit.

And so there's a real like kind of

devils versus saints advocate thing going on here, right?

And then Riley, Riley, you were judging this between the two of us.

I was going to say, really, I think what we have here as well, November, is your relationship with musicals is like Christians when they first discovered that you could sing christian music with like an electric guitar or like a rapper backing it up you're like i'm just so happy that someone's doing something for me finally exactly that's exactly right and i mean i i'm definitely yeah of that tradition and i mean the thing is riley you you're also kind of like familiar with the traditions of our people, with the traditions of like the LGBT community, right?

It's just, it tends to be more of the like, like pounding techno music with a lot of like shirtless oiled guys right that's what the t stands for it's techno it's lesbians gay bisexual bisexual techniques

yeah thrumming bass and oiled guys yeah let's go bergheinton

that really does describe one part of my social circle yeah and so consequently right i'm gonna make the submission to you now that you can't if you if you can't handle us in front of everybody our musical theater you don't deserve us at our techno that's right i can't just pick and choose which parts of the culture I want to appropriate.

That's legitimately, I actually believe that.

As Elaine Strange once said, I'll drink to that.

Yeah.

I mean, one thing I've noticed is that

for the people at home, I do run a lot.

Somebody chasing you.

Get out of here.

I do find that the best music, that my best running playlist is like gay club anthems for running.

Yeah, but what you've got to start doing is you've got to start working in some original cast recordings into that.

So I tell you, I did when I was young.

I did have, don't draw any conclusions about this.

I would say.

Number one,

that's the experiment.

I'm getting my piece of paper out to draw.

My jump to conclusions, Matt.

Yeah.

Yeah.

For the listener at home, November's getting out a great big mat.

On one side of it says conclusions, and she's waggling her eyebrows theatrically.

Maddie has set up a four-foot-tall easel on top of the stand.

They're holding what appears to be a novelty paintbrush, also waggling their eyebrows theatrically.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

I, when I was young, had a little CD player, and the CDs that I burned a hole in by playing so much.

You know what I mean.

I played a lot of it.

Second hole.

Looking at a new CD, like, damn, somebody really liked listening to this.

Somebody really liked listening to the innermost song in the CD.

The CDs I, you know, wore out basically by listening to them so much were The Beastie Boys, Hello Nasty,

a burned CD of different Norwegian black metal bands, and then the cast recording of a chorus line.

God, you could have been so many different people.

I'm just pointing at the camera to point at Riley.

That's the thrill.

You discover all of the other like multiverse people you almost were when you do this shit.

So, you know.

I was almost like a hundred different guys and some girls.

I really want to see the like

everything everywhere all at once, Riley, like multiverse, where it's just one of them is like Norwegian, like black metal Riley.

He's got like a shitload of piercings,

one of them is a girl in my band.

That's crazy.

Yep, yep.

Moved to New York because I wanted to follow less savvy Fav on tour, but then they just never left.

Don't say that name to me.

Hey, hey, hey, guys.

I just want to, on the record, I was at the Inches Release Party in Bushwick in like 2004.

I was there, baby.

I was there.

You were not you played.

Incredible.

You were there being a vice dude, unfortunately.

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

I just, you just yanked me back in time a good like 15 years there, right?

So, so thank you for that.

I could have been the younger partner of the saxophone player from the zootones

yeah the guy finally telling her to put some shoes on he was like pressing the like uh like generate random life thing and you you're hitting it time and time again it just says like uh replacement bassist and interpol yeah what really all right it was every time it was stella star that had the hot lady bassist actually

uh which

a fact i filed away when i saw them when i was a teenager for no reason at all i i feel like i feel like there's a lot of hot bassists just in general.

I'm right here, baby.

Yeah, I mean, look, it's Christmas.

We watched a movie.

Maybe what movie did we watch and why?

Okay, so we watched.

I had this idea right after we did the P.T.

Barnum episode to watch as the bonus The Greatest Showman, the movie from oh god, 2017, I believe.

Oh boy, is it?

Yeah, and this is this is this is a real feature.

It is about former, it is not about mayoring, it is about a former mayor, P.T.

Barnum.