441: No Such Thing As Spying With Ritz Crackers

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Hello, and welcome to another episode of No Such Thing as a Fish, a weekly podcast coming to you from the QI offices in Covent Garden.

My name is Dan Schreiber.

I'm sitting here with James Harkin, Anna Toshinsky and Andrew Hunt and Murray.

And once again, we have gathered around the microphones with our four favorite facts from the last seven days.

And in no particular order, here we go.

Starting with fact number one, and that is James.

Okay, my fact this week is that in the 1930 World Cup semifinal between the USA and Argentina, the American medic accidentally chloroformed himself and had to be carried off.

It's very funny.

And it raises for me a lot of other questions.

Like,

who is he trying to chloroform?

Yeah, yeah.

Is that legitimate tactic?

And was it like a classic

movie where the bank robber or whoever's trying to steal someone puts the rag over the mouth?

Was he like holding his face?

There is so much wrong with this fact, I think.

And we might go into all of it, but it's basically on the FIFA website, so I think it counts as a fact for us.

But I can't see it mentioned in any contemporary report, and chloroform doesn't really work like that.

You're an incredible self-drive-by on your own face.

I know, I know.

So he was called Jack Cole, is that right?

Jack Cole, yeah.

And there are a few versions of events, aren't there?

So one is that he ran on the pitch trying to help another player, and then his thing broke in his bag, and he had chloroform in his bag, and then that broke, and then the fumes raised.

The fumes raised and knocked him out.

yeah that's one version another version is that he went onto the pitch to argue with the referee about something and threw a bottle of chloroform onto the ground in anger and then it came off and the fumes knocked him out that's a red card that's a red card because he had it

um the earliest i've managed to trace a story back is to a journalist called brian glanville and a lot of people think he's the greatest football writer of all time he's really really famous but he was born in 1931 so he couldn't have been at this match

but it is on the fifa website But the other thing is, if you look at contemporary reports from the newspapers at the time, it's not mentioned.

And I found an interview with Jack Cole, which was done about 15 years later, and he doesn't mention it in that interview.

You might not, though.

He really could remember.

It's amazing.

It is amazing.

The self-knockout is just phenomenal, right?

Like, it's one of those things where you don't know what to do when you see someone do it.

Ash, who wrote the theme tune for our song, he once was in a bar fight.

It's very weird.

Ash, was it a barf?

Exactly.

You can't quite imagine it.

And he's the most Zen person.

He's so Zen.

So this was, I guess, just pre-Zen, just pre-Zen Ash.

And he went for the first punch against these other people.

Wow.

He took the swing.

And as he took the swing, he took a step forward, slipped, fell on the ground, knocked himself out.

And that was end of fight.

Is that his only ever fight?

Yeah, he KO'd himself on the first go.

So he actually has a 100% record of knocking someone out.

One win, one loss.

And his only match.

Another source I found this is a book called Angels with with Dirty Faces by Jonathan Wilson, which is the best book that I've ever read on South American football.

Cool.

And he mentions it in that.

It's like such a big qualifier.

Like, this is the best book I've ever read, is what they'll use on the camera.

Well, this generally, so we haven't really properly said, but 1930 World Cup was the very first ever World Cup.

And it was set up because the Olympics weren't taking football seriously and they weren't having it as recognized as an official sport.

So this was set up in South America.

But as a result of that distance, it meant that a lot of countries around the world didn't come and play because the journey there and the journey back, as well as the subsequent tournament, would mean they were out of play for like three months, which didn't work with their local tournaments and so on.

Also, expensive for a lot of countries.

And also, the home countries, so England, Northern Ireland, Scotland, Wales, they thought that actually

really they were more important than FIFA, and so they had their own kind of home nations tournament and they didn't really see this as a proper World Cup, so they weren't in it.

So, I read that the American team who were playing in this semifinal was mostly made up of English and Scottish professional footballers.

I did a count.

I made it to be five Scottish players and one English player.

That's a lot.

It is a lot.

It's more than you're normally allowed, I think.

I think.

Well, and Cole was Irish, I think, wasn't he?

Yeah.

And in fact, he was Irish, brought up in Scotland, and he'd just gone to America to track down his father who'd run out on him.

And he found himself in America, and they were like, God, are you from the British Isles?

Yeah, would you mind playing for us?

But it's weird because America were quite good then.

So I don't know why they had to poach.

This was like a heyday for American football.

And it sort of plummeted after this because of the football wars or the soccer wars, I think, where

they it's so unexciting.

It's the most boring war ever.

It's like there were two

everyone just chloroformed themselves.

No, there were two bodies trying to manage football who were competing with each other.

It was like the USFA and the ASL.

And they fought so much that everyone was like, well, this is tedious.

You're all arguing so much.

And the depression came, which didn't help.

So, and the American team, they were known by the French as the shot putters because they were so big.

They were like really big, strong players.

But they got battered in this game.

They lost 6-1 to Argentina.

And one of the reasons might have been because one of the players got a broken leg

in the first half.

I so don't believe this.

Look, I've seen people with broken legs, and it's really painful.

It was a guy called Ralph Tracy, and apparently, afterwards, he was diagnosed with that.

But I reckon it was a tiny chipped bone.

Are you saying he played on?

Yeah, he played on the whole game.

He got a broken leg, yeah, really early on.

It was really weird because there was another player, Andy Old, who ripped his lip open.

Yeah.

And the problem was that there were no sort of proper rules about how you could treat the wound.

And so he played the rest of the match with a rag in his mouth to sort of stem the bleeding.

Unfortunately, that rag had got chlorophyll.

Yeah, and so basically, they were a good team, but they basically got beaten from pillar to post.

And in the end, by the second half, they really were just hobbling around.

And the Argentinians absolutely battered them.

Although, quite nice that they because it was 6-1 and America scored their goal in the last 89th minute, I think.

Well, you think, kind of, what's the point?

Why are you still trying at that point?

It's a bit of honour.

In the final, which was Argentina versus Uruguay, Uruguay won that final.

And in Argentina, they kicked off.

The Uruguayan embassy was attacked.

They did a morning parade through Buenos Aires, and two people were reportedly shot for not saluting as the parade went past.

Oh my god.

Amazing.

The one newspaper said that since they'd lost Argentina, probably it meant that international football tournaments were a bit useless, so they should just never do them ever again.

And eight players from that Argentinian team never played for the country ever again.

Wow.

This feels like it's about, you know, in a marriage where you have a massive fight about where you keep the spoons.

Not about the spoons, really.

I don't think it's about the spoons.

To me, it actually always is about waving spoons.

I think there's a very clear place where they should be.

Add these liked to his wife, you've had an affair.

She's like, this is about the spoons, isn't it?

Yes, it's about the spoons.

Yeah, there was a ref called John

Langanus.

I think it's pronounced Long Anos.

Long Amos.

Sorry.

I imagine that's what the fans sung to him.

Yeah, John Long Anus.

Long John Anos.

He was a Belgian, right?

Yes.

And he was the head ref of the.

So he was the one who officiated the final.

And he was really worried about the

tensions running really high, as James says, like even post-the match.

So one of the Argentinian players, Luis Monty, he got a death threat sent, and the referee demanded a quick escape route to get back to his shop.

Yeah, not a secret tunnel, but as near as damn it, safe passage.

Exactly.

Because he thought whatever call he makes, unless...

Long Anus asked for a safe passage, did he?

Yeah, so I mean, it did sound like it was a bit of an intense atmosphere.

And there was a controversial goal in that final as well.

So, yeah.

Well, Louis Monty, for instance, he was like the hard man of the Argentinian defense, but he did get this death threat.

And afterwards, there was a suggestion in the Argentinian media that it was one of the Uruguayan players who'd rang him up with a silly voice and said he was going to kill him.

Really?

But in the end, he still played.

He didn't think he was going to play, but all the way through, he would kind of try and ingratiate himself with the crowd.

So whenever a Uruguayan player went down, he would sort of go and help them up and stuff like that.

What, in the hope that the guy who was going to kill him holding the revolver somewhere in the crowd thought, oh, he is a nice guy.

Oh, after all.

Yeah.

I'll put it away.

One of the other things about the crowd that was there, so it was 90,000 plus, but that was only five days into the tournament because their main stadium, the Estadio Centenario, was not ready in time.

And because of the weather as well with raining.

So there were two other smaller stadiums where they ended up.

Yeah, it was the grass hadn't grown properly, right?

And so they thought that the studs would kind of dig it up.

The cleats for American listeners would kind of dig up the ground.

Was this because of the weather?

Because one thing I read was that it had rained for 92 consecutive days before the first game of Des World Card.

92 days.

Oh, imagine the state of their reservoirs.

Lovely.

Yeah, gorgeous.

Very green lawns.

We could do with 92 days of rain right now.

It's like that.

Do you remember that summer when Rihanna's umbrella was in the chats and it rained for like three months non-stop here as well?

Yeah, yeah.

Is that why the song did so well?

There was a suggestion of that, yeah.

I remember there was it was like they had real problems at Wimbledon because they couldn't play any of the matches because it just rained non-stop.

And is there a suggestion that Rihanna did some cloud seeding?

Maybe

I think there is.

Wow.

I think the label did.

Yeah.

She probably didn't know about it.

She flew the Cessna herself.

Chloroform?

No, thank you.

I've got a sample here.

That's enough of your chat lines.

So

chloroform is

really, really interesting stuff in that.

I just love the story of how it was first used.

It was first sort of properly introduced to surgery in the UK by a doctor called James Simpson from Edinburgh.

And before that, they were using ether,

but the dose is very hard to get right, and it doesn't, you know, it smells horrible and all of this.

So, you know, chloroform was an improvement.

And in 1847, Simpson had two other doctors who were called Keith and Duncan, their surnames, I think, round to dinner.

And they decided, he said, Look, I've got this stuff.

Do you want to try it?

And they tried it, got light-headed, laughed a lot, and then all just fell unconscious.

And then someone came into the room and they were just.

I imagine one of them went, Your surname's also a first name.

Yeah, exactly.

They actually had witnesses for the whole thing.

It sounds like they had really fun parties, these guys.

And they'd spent an entire summer trying to find a better replacement for ether.

So they'd spent an entire summer inhaling various concoctions of gases round their dining room tables, sort of collapsing and having fits and stuff.

And then they remembered that I've got this thing called chloroform that a friend told me about.

I think it's under some waste paper.

Picked it out, they tried it.

And yeah, apparently unwanted hilarity seized the party for a while and their conversation was of unusual intelligence

for a few minutes.

The first woman who took it was actually at the party that night because there were family and friends there who were finding them all so charming and entertaining.

And so once they'd sampled it a few times, the guests started to say, well, can we have a go?

And she apparently gallantly took her turn and then fell asleep while crying, I'm an angel, I'm an angel.

Actually, I think she wasn't the first woman to take chloroform.

No, sorry, she maybe wasn't.

So it had been discovered.

It was discovered about three times by three different people in the same month or so.

Okay.

And I should say a lot of of my factor this come from a book called Chloroform by Linda Stratman, which is great and rollicking.

Absolute knockout.

Again, in the quiets for the cover.

So Samuel Guthrie was a doctor in Massachusetts, and he thought what he had was this thing called Dutch liquid, which there was an existing recipe for, which involved chlorine and, you know, chloric ether.

So he had made it, but he'd kind of accidentally distilled it one extra time, or there was an extra ingredient in the mix when he made it.

So he had chloroform without knowing it.

But because he thought it was a known substance, which was already being used for medicine, he just kept some in his lab and would distribute bottles to friends and family.

And his daughter, who was eight-year-old Cynthia, would often run into the lab, dip her fingers in the liquid, taste it, and that was just a little treat for her.

On one occasion, she took too much of it and she fell over completely asleep.

And so she was probably the first person to be knocked out by chloroform.

Wow.

What a claim.

Yeah.

And Stratman writes: It is probable that he simply assumed she was drunk.

It's all right everyone.

It's all right my eight-year-old's drunk.

She's not knocked herself out with chloroform.

Don't worry.

And what do we use it for today?

Is it used still to put patients under?

We use it for manufacturing.

I think it's used to make Teflon and some other stuff.

It's a sort of primary ingredient for Teflon, yeah.

Right.

But no, it sort of fell out of use.

It started falling out of use in the 19th century because people decided to question it.

It kills people.

Yeah.

Also, I think it gets a bad press.

Like it kills.

they did a massive study and found that it killed one in 2,500 of the patients that it had been used on in the 19th century, which it's not great, but it's not terrible for 19th century medicine.

For the 19th century.

And then there was another study which found it killed like four in a thousand.

But I think the four in a thousand one was done in the Civil War when everyone was quite injured anyway.

So you're not at your best.

Yeah.

What a journey it's had, you know, in terms of its repurposed uses.

Like if it was on who do you think you are and you were like, your ancestor used to like kidnap people, you you know, and then you're

proud of?

Well,

you know, in movies, that's the classic thing.

You guys used to fumigate grain.

Does it?

Yeah, yeah.

It's fun use.

It actually feels like you've fallen from grace from the great glory days of kidnapping and curing the civil war.

Yeah, like a farmer.

Now you're in like the cooking industry with Teflon.

Yeah.

We don't know that anyone was really kind of kidnapped using it, right?

Because it's really hard to use.

We might have said this before, but basically you'd need the exact correct dosage.

Otherwise, they would just feel a bit woozy or they would die.

You'd have to get the exact thing in between.

And also, it would take around five minutes.

It takes minutes.

Did it even happen in movies or is that one of those miseries?

Oh, it happens in a Sherlock Holmes story.

Okay.

It happens in Dickens, I think.

Or Wilkie Collins, I think.

It's weird because Dickens's wife used chloroform to give birth.

So Dickens was well into chloroform, right?

And it's in one of his books, and I can't remember which one it is, unfortunately, but it was in one of his books, but he doesn't call it chloroform because whenever the book was sent, set it was before chloroform had been invented.

So, he talks about this kind of special thing which knocks someone out really quickly, but he doesn't specifically say it's chloroform

because he was so into chloroform.

We're pretty sure that's what he meant.

That's great, like you say, it is quite hard to administer, and it does have this really dark Goldilocks phase where it works, and then on either side, it's a bit useless.

But even so, there was this massive spate of crimes reported in the 40s as soon as it became popular.

1840s.

In the 1840s, yeah, the 40s.

Sorry,

sorry, yeah, yeah.

I think you assume.

When I say the 90s, I'm usually referring to the 1790s.

Yeah, yeah.

Your 90s club night.

How's it going, Ben?

There's a lot of Baroque music or something.

A lot of ether.

A lot of fun, actually.

But yeah, there were things, there were all these stories about, you know, a handkerchief would be waved in the face of someone and they would collapse, or a lot of stories of women coming up behind men and putting a handkerchief to their face.

Probleming men.

Yes.

Slow for equality?

I know.

Score, right?

But there was one doctor actually who got so annoyed by all these stories by I think the 1850s or 60s because he said, this doesn't make any sense, it takes minutes and minutes for it to work, that he eventually soaked a handkerchief in chloroform and waved it in front of his aunt's face until he was absolutely exhausted of shaking to prove that it couldn't do anything.

Was he proving that to his aunt?

Maybe, though, I don't know the argument that came before that when she said

Okay, it is time for fact number two, and that is Anna.

My fact is that there's a group of astronomers called solar wind sherpers who drag their equipment around the world to watch every single solar eclipse.

Wow,

I think these guys are so cool.

They've been going since 1995,

so they visited every single eclipse.

Since then, eclipses happen.

Total eclipses, we're talking about once every 18 months.

It was set up by this woman called Shadia Rifai Habal, who's a scientist.

And yeah, they take all their equipment and they go and watch eclipses and they want to see the corona, which is the bit when you see a totality in an eclipse, you've got that little bit of ring of light around it.

And that's basically the stuff that the sun is emitting.

And it's always too bright.

The rest of the sunlight is too bright for us usually to see it.

It must be hard for them to Google corona these days.

It was always a struggle with the beer, but I think the last few years has made it a lot worse.

Yeah.

And so, how long have they been doing this?

How long have they been trekking?

Since 95.

Since 95.

Yeah.

1795.

Yeah.

Wow.

They're called Umbraphiles as well, aren't they?

There's a shadow.

They got called Coronophiles, Eclipseaholics.

Yeah, you don't want the Coronophiles nickname catching on, do you?

You really want to shed that.

I got these from the website beingintheshadow.com, which is an eclipse chaser.

So it's set that up.

Who's seen 12 now?

Cool.

Who's seen 12?

That's so cool.

That's a lot.

People get really into it.

You know, they see their first one.

You'd think you've seen one eclipse, you've seen them all.

I know.

I know the eclipse of files are going to come up at you now.

Going to throw some shade.

But yeah, I would have thought they were all the same.

You'd think so, but I guess it's such a unique event, even for a while.

Well, obviously not if they've seen 20 other than 200 people.

No, I guess I mean like.

I've got a bit like saying your first cocaine high, once you've done that, ah, you've had them all, you know.

Some people do, I guess, if you're going mad.

They do chase them.

They get addicted.

They really get addicted.

They do say it's a a kind of transformative experience and they just, oh, they need it again.

Yeah, well, Matt Parker, a buddy of ours, who's

a friend of the podcast, Steve Mould, who was on last week, they're in a group together.

He goes chasing eclipses.

Yeah, sometimes on cruises with his wife, because Lucy, his wife, is an actual solar physicist.

She looks at coronal mass ejection for

her livelihood.

And actually, just speaking of them as a couple, there's a thing that gets done with eclipses now.

So it's called Bailey's beads, right?

And that is an actual phenomena of it's like a corona, but they're just really beads rather than a full circle.

Exactly.

So it looks like diamonds.

When the moon is over the sun.

When the moon is over the sun.

And it's to do with the fact that I believe because the moon obviously has bumps and lumps all over it, it's sort of like when the final bit of the eclipse is covered, a little bit will come through, a bit that's a bit lower and such.

So they look like little diamonds and people propose to their...

But you won't be able to see you're being proposed to.

Oh, yeah, good point.

It's a totality of the negative.

No, it's not so distracting.

I'd definitely say no, regardless.

But wait a minute, you can see people in the dark when there's a new moon or something.

You can still see people.

But I thought the whole point of a totality and eclipse was that you can't see anything.

You can't see a cost.

You can't.

It doesn't go pitch black, Andy.

There's still stars, for instance.

When there's a solar eclipse.

Yeah, it just goes quite dark, like a light night.

Do you 1999, we were all alive?

Oh, yeah, but I I wasn't in Cornwall, wherever it was.

I actually was in Cornwall and it wasn't that dark.

It was quite dark, but you could make out someone proposing to you.

If someone's a really really marrying me I wouldn't be groping around the front table going I this is that there are so many possibilities wow oh okay I thought it went really dark well when there's no moon at night time you can still make things out you can still make out like shadows I've got my phone torch on

was that the thing when the when the because the last was it the last time a full eclipse was in the UK it was 1999

anywhere in the UK wasn't I remember seeing footage of it and wasn't it lots of people were taking photos with flashes on their cameras at the time which is incredibly annoying because you know obviously you're trying to see yeah the wondrum of the AS.

Yeah, you would have been the pain in the ass with a massive torch, right?

I've lost my diamond ring.

There was a big solar eclipse in North America in 2017, but at that time they had a load of monitoring stations and they were checking the bees in North America.

And at the moment of complete pitch black, all of the bees went silent, apart from one bee.

There was one bee who buzzed.

And they don't know why.

This is a Disney film.

I'm fucking Eric.

Isn't that so funny?

Just one bee didn't get the memo.

And Candace Galen at the University of Missouri says that maybe he was slow getting back to the hive, or he was a bee with particularly good eyesight who wasn't affected by the eclipse.

That's so funny.

There was a story about a squirrel going nuts as well during the eclipse.

Going really, really spitty.

Yep, sorry, I missed my own thing.

And afterwards, they were like, do squirrels go crazy in the eclipse?

Or was it just the fact that we only saw one squirrel and we're basing all the knowledge now on that?

So

on this point, there has been a study from 2020 titled Total Eclipse of the Zoo, which is all about how all the different animals in the zoo react.

It's not a pun.

Why does that work as a pun?

It doesn't rhyme with heart.

It's not a pun.

It's not a pun.

It's a reference to eclipses.

But it's a reference to the song.

Yeah, it's a reference to the song.

Total eclipse.

And it's a bad reference.

If you're going to to make a reference, make it a good reference.

Total eclipse of the

total eclipse of the heart, but you take out the E, and then you just study deer.

That's good.

That's really good.

That is good.

Well, they wanted, I think, a slightly broader remit for their study.

Total eclipse of the heart or the deer and other animals.

All sorts of animals, actually.

Warthogs anecdotally show no reaction to total eclipses.

Komodo dragons move around a bit more than usual.

Giraffes huddle together.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Spiders dismantle their webs.

Yeah, how weird's that?

Well, one, like one specific species of spider, right?

Yeah, the orb weavers.

Yeah, just takes it down.

Total eclipse of taking your web apart.

There we go.

It's closer.

Lovely.

There you go.

Much closer.

Oh, dear.

There was a from in August 2017, the, I think this is the eclipse that you were talking about.

There was a story went round, which it turns out wasn't true, but it got picked up by everyone.

We think it's not true.

It's not confirmed entirely.

Where a bunch of people were hospitalized because their eyeballs were really hurting because they weren't able to get their hands on the proper glasses that you would wear to use to look at the effect.

So instead, they thought they'd put suntan lotion on their eyeballs and that would help.

No, that wasn't.

That's the story.

And it was reported by Forbes.

And Snopes tried to get to the bottom of it and they called up all the places.

They never heard back from the one lady who was quoted, who was called Trish Patterson, who gave a quote saying that this had happened.

So it's inconclusive.

Because people have sunglasses.

I mean, that's the thing.

But these people didn't have sunglasses.

What's the point?

But I mean, normal sunglasses, not special sunglasses.

Because I know you can't get special.

Are they lined with a particular crack?

Yeah, yeah, they are.

But as Andy says, you would have thought before you go to the suntan lotion on the eyeball, you would go for a pair of sunglasses.

Like an ordinary pair of sunglasses.

Yeah, but you might just be out in the beach that day or whatever.

You've got your suntan lotion, you haven't got access to glasses, you've forgotten there's a solar eclipse happening.

You're going to...

Someone said you could use a Ritz cracker because there's little holes in the Ritz cracker.

So if you hold two Ritz crackers to your eyes, I don't think that works either.

Does it?

ultraviolet it will it will it will still let the sunlight onto your retina to burn it I think you might be able to hold a Ritz cracker and then put a sheet of paper behind it and then I reckon you'd see the because then the image of the sun appears on the paper but don't put the cracker over your eyes well look lots to test out when the next solar ellipse happens I've never thought of using a Ritz cracker for stuff like that though you could spy on people with a Ritz cracker or like you know when they have newspapers on a bench in a park as spies

yeah hold on but the idea is that you think someone's reading the newspaper which is a completely normal thing that someone might do.

Whereas putting two Ritz Crackers over your eyes is going to automatically arouse suspicion.

You'd have to spend years normalizing that activity.

And there could be a really fun viral leg campaign Ritz Crackers did.

Oh, the ice bucket challenge

with putting Ritz Crackers over your eyes.

Yes, everyone does.

Get Ritzy.

Yeah.

And then it's all part of the long game for that bench moment.

If anyone from Ritz Crackers is listening.

Or MI6.

Please do get in touch.

The most unlikely Brown partnership in history, Ritz Crackers and MI6.

So another famous eclipse chaser is Cecilia Payne-Gaposhkin.

In 1919, when she was 19 years old, she went on a solar eclipse expedition to Africa.

She later became the first woman to chair a Harvard department.

So she's a very famous academic.

And she is the person who proved what stars are made of by spectroscopy of the light emitters.

So she worked out that it's made of helium and hydrogen, mostly all all the stars, the sun, and all stars.

We only found that out

in the early 20th century.

Oh, early 20th century, yeah.

So, before that, they thought it must be made of metal, some kind of maybe some meteorites are flying into the sun, and that metal kind of burns and burns and burns.

That's what they thought.

Anyway, she worked out that it was made of mostly hydrogen, and she wrote this paper about it.

But everyone thought it was obviously bullshit.

How on earth could that possibly be true that the stars are made of hydrogen and helium?

And so when she wrote her thesis, at the very end, she wrote, this result is almost certainly not real.

What?

Because she wanted to protect her career.

She thought that if she did this, yeah, she didn't back herself.

And it would be another 10, 20 years before people realized that that was true.

It's terrible.

Well, or you're hedging your bets and cheating, guys.

You can't say, oh, here's what I definitely think, except I may be just joking.

Have you guys heard of Donald Liebenberg?

Donald Liebenberg.

from Clemson University in South Carolina, a very well-established umbraphile eclipseaholic.

Call him what you will.

Nerd.

So he's not seen more eclipses than anyone else.

There is a group of people who, as of 2017, had seen 33 each, and they were the front runners, which is a lot.

Do you reckon there's going to be like a murder mystery where they all knock each other off so that one person has the most

or there's another eclipse, but it's in a difficult place and they all stop each other from getting there and like it's a mad mad mad mad world oh yeah yeah yeah this is great yeah anyway Lieberg he's okay riddle me this yeah he's not seen the most eclipses in the world he's only seen 26 yeah but he's spent more time in the totality of eclipse than anyone else even though other people have seen several more than him yes how can it be is he a pilot

no but you're so close to the right was he on a hostess he's in a hostess

no for the 1973 eclipse which was on june 30th of that year there was a group of eclipse experts who got on concorde yes that's right and they followed the path of it and they experienced 74 minutes of total eclipse at a thousand miles an hour crazy how cool is that it is cool it also is a sign you've got too much money

how did they see where they were going andy surely well obviously the plane had a torch on its front now planes have headlights you know but to me right the whole point of an eclipse is it's over in like six minutes right?

It's like it's bright, and then there's six minutes of weirdness, and then it's bright again.

If you're going for 74 minutes, you might as well just fly at night time.

Exactly.

But I think things might stay weird and get really weird.

79 minutes.

You'd have to replenish the suntan on

your eyeballs.

I actually was wondering about the glasses

for people who can get hold of them, the special ones.

And

I found out that there's a company called American Paper Optics, who are the main producers of them in America.

And their revenue doubles in years of solar eclipses.

Wait a minute.

A lot of people buy.

You'd think it would more than double.

Really?

You'd think it would be an enormous spike in those years and quite lean in the other years.

They make other types of glasses as well, right?

They make 3D glasses, so most of their customers, like, you know, in you get them in 3D cinemas or you sell them in cereal packets.

They're mostly freebies that they hand out so they get branding deals with companies.

But in 2017, for instance, their revenue went from $7 million to $14 million.

That's doubling.

And that's doubling.

That's what doubling is.

And they prepared for two and a half years for the 2017 eclipse.

They doubled their staff.

And the guy who runs...

Well, they could afford to, couldn't they, with all that double revenue they were counting on?

It worked out perfectly.

It's a good projection.

And

the guy who runs the company is a guy called John Jarrett, who seems to be really obsessed with eclipses.

He actually got his big glasses break in the cardboard glasses world in 1991 when this astronomer got in touch and said, There's going to be an eclipse.

Can you make some glasses for me?

I hear that you make cardboard glasses.

And it ended up being a massive deal.

And he sold a million glasses to Corona Beer in 1991.

No, when the eclipse was in Mexico.

Clever.

And I think it must be that Corona, because of the Corona and the Corona, perfect partnership.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Genius.

Brilliant.

That's very good.

Yeah.

There was, you know, we spoke about solar eclipses not on a podcast, but on a book.

2017, our book of the year.

Oh, yeah.

We had literally our scripted conversation in there.

And there's a great fact in there, which is that NASA has two accounts, which is NASA Moon and at NASA Sun.

And on the day of the eclipse, NASA Moon blocked

NASA Sun on Twitter.

Yeah.

Brilliant.

Okay, it is time for fact number three, and that is my fact.

My fact this week is that in 1906, there was a music streaming service which involved just two people playing keyboards down the telephone.

Yeah, so would I ring up and I'd immediately get piano music played at me?

You would, yeah, so this was someone waiting for a call, basically, and whenever the phone rang, they'd have to answer it and start playing the piano at me.

No,

this is phenomenal when you think about the sort of the scale of what this person had built.

So, this was a lawyer called Thaddeus Cahill, and he's 1867 to 1934.

And at the end of the 1800s, he decides he wants to invent a machine whereby, if you called up this one phone number, you would get music just streaming to you.

And it was a subscription model, so he was going to sell it to hotels and restaurants and so on.

What you would do is you would hold a paper funnel to the phone receiver, so that would act as your amplifier to the room that you were playing it out to.

I think, in answer to your question, that they would be just playing bach or whatever and whenever you phone them up you would get whatever they're playing at the time so if they're playing chopsticks you'd get chopsticks so he basically invented the concept of musak sort of background music that can just be playing but he to do this he invented a machine which was called the teleharmonium which was as big as the office space that we're in right now a ginormous room in manhattan all these can i just say that sorry to interrupt but um people at home don't know what the qi office is like so so i think at the moment they're imagining like an aircraft hang going

we now have clips on youtube you can watch it to see

it weighed 200 tons it weighed 200 tons yeah and it was 60 feet long so it's actually significantly longer than the bit of the office that you can currently see now if you are watching it on youtube yes yeah a picture more feet the other way from the uh video they had all these phone lines that would be um hanging in front of basically a ginormous gramophone horn which was the music is what was being pumped through.

I mean, it's very complicated to get your head around what this machine was, but effectively, what Cahill had invented was the first synthesizer.

It was electronic music.

I love the way of explaining how complicated all the wires were and stuff.

The Republican and Herald newspaper in Pennsylvania in 1907 started off explaining how it works and then said it would be useless to describe the more complex principles of the telharmonium because it would require diagrams and mathematics.

I'm with him.

Seriously, tells I want to dance relatively through that.

Yeah, what's the sorry name of that journalist?

Yeah, so this was in Manhattan, as I say.

It was located on Broadway and 39th Street.

It took up an entire floor of the building.

He called it the Telharmonic Hall.

He also called it the music plant.

And he advertised it as the music of AD 2000, which is really cool, really sci-fi.

He knew he was onto something that was kind of looking into the future.

Now, there's no radio at this point.

This guy is decades ahead of any other kind of broadcasting of just playing music out and there was a rumor that this was all generated this music by two people who would supposedly play for 24 hours that was said in passing and in a article so there's no confirmation on that might be a PR yeah but the music was being played by people and supposedly this is where I get confused could emulate sounds like the flute or

electronic that was why it was so amazing yeah but how did they record the no no you add so I thought this was really interesting because I've never known how like when you get an electric keyboard and you press a button that plays a cymbal or or whatever, how do they do it?

And it's basically just you add lots of harmonics to one tone.

So one other amazing thing about this is it wasn't a normal musical instrument.

It was an electronic instrument.

So I think if you stood next to it, I'm not quite sure how the gramophone horn bit worked, because if you stood next to it, you couldn't hear it play, I don't think.

You could only hear it play when the electrical signals were transmitted through cables and they were interpreted into sound at the other side.

And the electrical signals through this very complex system, you could overlay lots of different notes on top of each other.

So you'd have like the main main note But then they worked out that the reason a trumpet sounds different to like a violin is because there are kind of like harmonic sounds Overlaying that main note.

That's insane.

It is unbelievable.

I'd love to know how realistic it was.

Well, the other thing is that on top of what Anna's saying there's quite a lot more, but it would be kind of difficult to explain without mathematics and

so it probably won't go into all that stuff now.

And we don't have any recordings.

This is the other thing.

And it doesn't exist.

And it doesn't exist.

It's dismantled.

It was all for scrap.

It's incredibly tragic.

And there were complaints as well.

So

it interrupted other transmissions at various points.

Yes.

The US Navy complained that they had secret wireless transmissions, which they'd like to hear, but they were getting Rossini overtures instead, thanks to the Telharmonium.

It interrupted phone calls a lot.

I mean, that was one of the reasons that it didn't succeed in the end, was that there were just so many problems with it.

People would be on the phone, and music would bleed in.

And in fact, I read one newspaper article from the Times saying it had almost broken up a marriage because a husband had called his wife to say he was working late in the office.

But she heard the William Tell Overture playing in the background.

So, of course, said, bullshit are you in the office, mate, you're out of your concert.

Having sex to the William Tell Overture.

The US Navy one, I think, by the way, later on, I think in 1911, he worked with a guy called DeForest, and they came up with a new system that was basically the telharmonium, but instead of going through telephone lines, they would use radio technology.

And it was when the US Navy was using radio technology as well, they would get that kind of thing.

So it was a later bit of his career where he was working on something else where he was still in the middle of the day.

He was still getting the animation.

That's like good.

And it must have been good because it did get good reviews.

So we don't have any samples of it anymore.

But Mark Twain basically said he would postpone his death just to hear it again.

Wow.

I mean, how confident was he that he could do that?

Exactly.

That sounds like you're in a situation where someone's about to kill you and and you're like, no, no, just one second.

I just want to listen to the William Tellov charm one more time.

A last, yeah, like a last meal, a last song.

So he was quoted.

He went to a recital, basically.

He was invited to go to one and he said, every time I see or hear a new wonder like this, I have to postpone my death right off.

I couldn't possibly leave the world until I have heard this again and again.

And so in 1907, at this point, the plan of Cahill was that he wanted to put it into places like, as I said, hotels and restaurants, but he couldn't get it into people's homes.

And Twain managed to work out that he could get it into his home because of his celebrity status and so on.

And so the Times reported that he was going to glory in the fact that he would be able to rejoice over other dead people when he died in having been the first man to have teleharmonium music tuned in his house like gas.

Twain seemed to really, really, really like it.

He said he wanted street lights to be connected to it, which would play the funeral march during his funeral.

As his funeral procession was.

He seems quite obsessed with death, doesn't he, Mark Twain, at the moment?

Yeah, yeah.

He was getting ill by this point, wasn't he?

Yeah.

It's gotta annoy meeting him in the afterlife, immediately going, yeah, in your face, I heard the Tilharmonium.

Well, you do know that got dismantled after two years, don't you?

And no one ever heard of it ever again.

What?

So there was an earlier thing called the Teatrophone in 1881, and that played, it was in Paris, and it was the theatre phone, and it transmitted music, but also some theatrical productions over the phone.

Cool.

Oh, hang on a second.

Did Did phones exist in 1881?

Yeah,

there were quite a few.

It was only one.

No, there were some in 1880.

Okay, yeah, yeah.

When was it in 1870?

Was that when Bell patented it?

It was early, isn't it?

Yeah.

Well, because people thought with the phone, weirdly, they thought the phone was going to be used for mass entertainment.

And they sampled this loads of times.

So, yeah, there was the 1881 thing.

There was, I think, the longest-running, most successful version of mass entertainment via phone was the telephone newspaper.

And this was in Hungary and it was invented in 1893 and it ran until 1944

and it was a subscriber service and you just called it whenever and you got either it started off just being a news service so you called it and they tell you the news but then it was music performances there were you know like fun new pop songs whatever you played some comedy shows 1893.

So was it a live program or so you didn't request

you had to tune in at let's say noon for the headlines.

Exactly.

And if you missed the headlines you might get the column later on or the crossword.

Yeah, there was no record option.

You can go to it later on.

That's brilliant.

That's incredible.

Even in the 1920s, 10,000 people were signed up to the system in Hungary where you called up to get your answer.

That's amazing.

But do you remember when the internet first started and it was through telephone lines?

And then whenever anyone was making a call, you couldn't use the internet.

Yes, well, that would be the same here.

If someone was listening to the news, you wouldn't be able to make a call.

That would be really annoying, wouldn't it?

Yeah.

In 1896, telephone wires were laid between Buckingham Palace and a bunch of concert halls in London so that the royal family, whenever they wanted to, could listen to a concert

without having to, because it was a bit lowering to go into a music hall, for instance, if you're Queen Victoria.

You know, you'd have to go to the middle of the day.

A music hall.

I mean, you definitely wouldn't go into a music hall.

Even having a phone line laid to a music hall is, I think, a bit undignified.

Wow, you are one of the snobs of the 1890s.

What was she saying?

If there's a raucous, naughty performance, maybe.

I'll see you getting naked as well.

She's probably just enjoying the da da da da da da da da da

It's a great shoe.

But you, I guess, if, yeah, it depends on the venues, I suppose.

There's in some venues, I'm sure, were very reputable.

Oh, there must have been some reputable music calls.

Well, she wasn't doing a phone call to some sort of a pub in Soho.

It's going to be a guinea a minute for this phone call, mom.

Are you sure?

It wasn't a sex line, okay.

But it was so that.

Do you want to say Queen Victoria didn't have a sex line installed in Buckingham Palace?

Not that we know of, I can't be sure.

But it was for the slightly more improper performances that it wouldn't do to be seen at.

Who knows?

Boy, that's so cool.

On music platforms these days.

Okay.

So, obviously, you know, huge music platforms all over, you know, like Spotify and things like that.

One growing and rapidly growing music platform is Peloton Bikes.

Okay.

Yeah.

Like they've all got, they've got licensing deals and they've got their own in-house music department specifically to license.

Oh, do you mean exercise bikes?

The brown Peloton?

Yeah,

yeah.

Not anyone in the Tarda France.

Anyone who's not in the lead, but in the main group.

They have to carry a big booty.

Yeah,

well, there's the yellow headphones.

And whoever's in the lead on the Tour de France gets to listen to the music.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, but the Prince, as in the musician Prince, dead now, but The Grateful Dead, confusingly, I think a lot of him is still alive.

And Beyoncé, they've all licensed their music specifically to Peloton for massive amounts of money because it gets used in the exercise classes.

So this is the forefront of streaming, is exercise bikes, basically.

But it's not exclusive tracks, is it?

No, you can still get them on Spotify.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can.

So in the early days, I think Peloton was just using a lot of the music in their exercise classes, and obviously they're making money out of these exercise classes, and I think it was a big old, the big old fuss about it.

Well, that's a big.

I mean, I think we've said that Guitar Hero with certain bands like Aerosmith were making more money from the licensing deal that they did for that than they would make on their records.

Yeah, that's a big industry now.

Would you want to, I don't know much Grateful Dead.

I know a bit of Prince, and it's weird, and I don't know if I'd want to cycle to it.

Beyonce can totally see the cycling now.

Yeah, she's really the queen of Peloton.

You can get Beyoncé-themed classes

specifically to do on your bike.

And riding a bike, of course, gives you an amazing arse, which is what she already has, so that's something to strive for while you're riding.

I just see that from someone who cycles a lot, by the way.

You basically cycle every day, and you're like, you know what, people who cycle, amazing arse.

Oh my god, that is rock hard.

I'm sitting on two boulders right now.

Okay, it's time for our final fact of the show, and that is Andy.

My fact is that Australian Aboriginal people sometimes built objects specifically to arouse the curiosity of emus.

Okay.

That was nice of them.

Well,

it wasn't nice of them.

Oh.

It was

naughty.

Well, it wasn't naughty either.

It was just a spicy.

Well, as they say in Australia, curiosity killed the emu.

Yeah, exactly.

And it did kill the emu in this case, but the unborn emus in the

edge.

Well, this is maybe the worst way I've ever introduced a fashion.

There are these things, they're called emu crawlers, and Aboriginal peoples will build them.

They're cylinders of carved wood, and when you bang the end with the flat of your hand, it produces a sound which apparently is reasonably like the noise of a female emu.

And this is, it has to be a female emu as well, because with emus, the male is the one who sits on the eggs eggs and you know nurses them towards

Incubates them.

That's the thing and so one hunter will hide in the bush playing this thing making the noise of a female Banging away and the male will say oh a female emu and go and explore

and then

His colleague the man in the bush's colleague will steal the emu's eggs without being pecked to death and that is absolutely the name of the game when you're hunting and so then you've got a lovely emu omelette feed for people feed for people

and the other way it was used sometimes is to distract a mob of females and they would move that.

You can move them to one place where you want them to go so you can shoot them.

So

it was used by hunters sometimes as well.

But I will say the father in Andy's case kind of had it coming because he was going to cheat on the mother of his children, right?

Yeah, but you know what's happening at the same time.

Like when a male emu is incubating the eggs, the woman's off shagging other emus.

It's true.

And not only that, she shags the other emu, gets a baby and an egg, and then slips it under the other father.

Yeah,

there's no villain in this baby.

Oh, now there's no villain.

I thought the male was the villain a moment ago, Anna.

She can store sperm as well, right?

Like multiple different sperm that she can then re-fertilise.

What a sort of larder.

I believe so.

That's what I read.

It sounds like Dan's saying there's a kind of cupboard inside the female emu.

That's kind of how it works, though.

But can she select?

I think I'll have a little bit of Tony today and then fertilise from him.

I don't think so.

I don't think there's a sort of like spice shelf.

But the male doesn't eat or drink or defecate during the incubation of the eggs, which is 56 days.

I'm not going to judge him for

hearing a female and thinking, oh, I wonder.

So he doesn't have time to poo, but he does have the time to shag another female.

It's all about priorities, isn't it?

How appealing is he going to be to that female?

Hasn't showered in 50 days.

Bowels unleash immediately.

There's a slight advantage for the males, I think, when the females can bring other eggs back and make him incubate them, even though they don't belong to him.

Oh, interesting.

Because if he's sitting on his own eggs, but also some other dad's eggs, if the eggs get attacked, at least it raises the chances that someone else's kids will be lost.

Oh, it gets pretty dark.

I suppose one of the things

that the first eggs to hatch will be his eggs, right?

Because he was the first one there.

And that means that when all of the...

kids have hatched his will be the oldest and perhaps the strongest

that might help as well because he does the male looks after the chicks for I think about seven months.

It's a long odd time, right?

That the male is doing the carry off.

And sometimes we'll take on other chicks which got lost from other broods.

Yeah, right.

This object that they make,

if you can imagine a didgeridoo, it's like a small didgeridoo.

And it's sometimes known as a woman's didgeridoo.

because it's a small version of it.

And they're made in the same way.

So they're not necessarily made by the humans.

They're kind of naturally made by ants eating out the middle of a trunk

and then decorated.

And they do sound if you listen to a didgeridoo, so I haven't heard what the emu caller sounds like, but I imagine it's a slightly higher-pitched version of a didgeridoo.

They do sound a bit like emus.

Like the emu noise is very kind of like something grunting underwater, I thought.

Yeah.

Which is a little bit like a didgeridoo.

Right.

But it's not the only way to attract an emu.

If you're in the business.

Really?

Yeah.

I was reading.

There must be a myriad ways.

Oh god, there are a lot of ways.

Yeah.

Des Fallon called himself the world champion emu caller in the 90s.

I can't find any official record of that.

I think it might have just been self-styled.

But he said, and this does work and lots of people do it now, you lie on your back and you wave your legs in the air, kind of like a turtle that's been turned over, and you sort of make a noise like a strangled cat, sort of grunting noise, and halfway between being in pain and being in love, I think one researcher said.

I heard a slightly different version or take on that, which is that you lay on your back and you put one leg in the air with your foot oh i heard yeah in that position that it looks like it's an emu's head and it confuses the emu into thinking it's another emu and it comes over to investigate because they're so stupid apparently they're so stupid according to a big research study that was done i can tell you that emus do really like uh they like shiny objects a lot so if you put a disco ball in a tree yeah emus will stare at it for hours on end really really hours on end and uh they dance but a macarina well i think they this has been a similar thing has been used in hunting them.

So, again, traditional Aboriginal hunters will lure emus by hanging a ball of emu feathers and rags from a tree, which I guess must catch the light.

Or I mean, it certainly looks weird and it's an unusual object for them.

And they just gather around it and are captivated, at which point you can throw a spear at them and kill them.

Is that not because they're all going, hang on, we're flightless.

How did that emu get up?

Yes.

Just cracked it.

Barry, tell us the truth.

That's so good.

They can't fly.

They do when they run.

They still sort of wave their tiny little wings that they have.

They think they're not fully sure why they do this from the article I read.

The suggestion is it's a balance thing to help them with the speed because they can go very, very fast.

But I did read that when they have, because they have predators like dingoes and eagles and so on in Australia.

And one way that they fight against a dingo is they leap into the air and they just start stomping them, sort of like just jumping on their head and shoving them into the ground and they've got claws.

But that's just such a wonderful

fighting style type.

It's the tantrum.

It's a toddler tantrum.

Just on emu penises.

Oh,

which are rare.

But no, sorry, they're not rare for emus.

Every emu.

No one else has an emu penis.

I'm like about half of emus have an emu penis.

Nobody else has an emu penis.

Okay.

But birds with penises are rare.

Yeah.

Because 97% of bird species don't have them and emus are in the rare.

but they don't have blood in their penises.

Well, when they have an erection, it doesn't fill up with blood.

It fills with lymphatic fluid,

which is very

unusual and it's also low pressure.

Yeah.

So they can't keep an erection for very long.

Okay.

But one interesting thing about that is that the other birds that have penises also are lymph-based.

And so that means that the earliest ancestor of these two lineages of penis birds must have also had a lymph

penis.

And what that means is that it was sometime a long time ago, and what came before the birds, the dinosaurs.

And so if we ever find out that a dinosaur had a penis, and at the moment we haven't found it in the fossil record, but if we ever do, there's a good chance that it would also be a lymph-based penis.

Ah, interesting.

Wow.

Wow.

Yeah.

I saw a picture of an incredible penis the other day, and it was sent to me by John Blastro Snell, the explorer.

Was he his?

You really should probably block him.

His OnlyFans account is really, really cool.

This is a great explorer.

He's a friend of the podcast.

And

he showed me a picture of a bat that he'd caught out.

I think it was in the Amazon somewhere.

Ginormous.

Like, it looked like it was as tall as uspeckers.

Did he catch it by the penis?

He might as well have, because this bat was hung unlike anything I've seen.

It was like a human penis

on a bat.

It was insane.

I'll show you the photo later.

it's truly extraordinary

are you okay handy I'll

give it to you

I wonder because they hang upside down a lot I'm just trying to think just keep bashing them in the face

wind chimes

did you guys read the EMU story from earlier this year it was only a month ago I think it was

Malmesbury in Wiltshire where I used to live Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Very exciting.

I wish I'd still lived there for this story then.

Well, there was a man who crashed his car into a shop front, and he was with an accomplice.

And he ran away from the scene of the crash because he was incredibly drunk and incredibly high, I think, and basically in charge of a car, crashed it into a building, legged it.

And the chef of the local hotel was a guy called Dean Wade, saw him do this, thought, I'm not letting someone get away with that, that's terrible.

Chased after him.

They ran away.

They ran for quite some distance and they ended up at the edge of the local wildlife enclosure, which has a field full of emus.

And Dean Wade shouted, don't go in there, there are emus.

And the guy said, I'm going in there I'll take on the emus and he was absolutely they pecked him a new one they really they really went for him he got he shouldn't have lain on his back and flailed all of those legs in the air he was trying to do kung fu kicks and karate chops on this emu and the emu was absolutely just dodging all of it and pecking and pecking and pecking him

yeah and he was apprehended this man i think we're crediting the emu with the apprehension right because the fact that this guy the chef is still in full chef's car he knew that the emus could take care of it so he was sent free to go get the police was he sort of shepherding them towards the emus?

I'm not sure if it was a deliberate conscious thought but I think when it happened he thought that's a stroke of luck.

Is he okay this guy or I think he's fine?

Yeah he's been around.

He lived.

I wonder if the chef was torn enough to get the police or to then go and steal the eggs from the

nest.

Because that would be great for the hotel.

Have we ever done the Emu war?

Yeah we have.

Have we on the show?

It was in International Factbook which I think isn't canon.

Is it

the biggest thing about it is when we mentioned it, did we mention that it's basically a myth?

Is it?

No way.

Yeah.

So the idea is that, you know, Australia went to war against Emus and lost.

Yeah, right.

That's the story.

Far be it from me to back up the Australians.

But it turns out that basically it was one Western Australian governor did declare war on the Emus, but didn't send all of his guys out there.

He sent three people out to attack all these Emus.

Three men, a pickup truck, and two machine guns.

And that was against 20,000 Emus.

And basically what had happened was there had been the war, the Second World War, and the Australian government had given land to a load of veterans.

But the land was really dry, it was really barren.

They couldn't really even grow anything apart from wheat.

And the Emus loved wheat, so the Emus were going after the wheat.

And the governor of Western Australia decided, well, we're going to declare war on them and we're going to shoot them.

Well, because they've got all these veterans living there.

Well, that's what they thought.

They thought, we'll send three of our actual army guys and we'll get all of the veterans to come in as well.

But actually, really, I mean, there was no chance that they were ever gonna do anything.

I think it was Major Meredith who was the guy in charge of them and he said basically the birds could keep running even after they'd been shot and so there was very little chance of them winning this engagement.

Well the other thing is like if you had a big mob of emus let's say there's a hundred in a mob as soon as you shot them they split up into two fifties and it was like the gremlins and then they get water again and again and then you yeah I mean it's like being attacked by a worm and you chop it apart and you just keep making it worse.

And Meredith said after it he said if we had a a military division with the bullet carrying capacity of these birds, it would face any army in the world.

Yeah.

And really the reason that it became a big deal is because it was the time of the Great Depression and the Great Emu War was kind of a funny story that they could have in the newspapers all the time.

It is funny.

It's funny.

Maybe that's not quite true.

That's funny.

I feel like Aussies get so much crap for the Emu Wars.

So now there you go.

You can come back at people with we only sent three old blokes in there.

Exactly.

And And I have to say, on Twitter, this is probably the most requested story that people send to me saying, have you guys ever spoken about the Emi War?

It just constantly.

So there you go.

You're welcome, Australians.

Yeah.

Considering you cheat so much at cricket, you should be very glad that I speak.

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