John Early

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Speaker 1 Welcome to the Off-Menu podcast, taking the raw tuna of conversation, adding the citrus juice of friendship, little cubes of grapefruit of humor, and slices of fresh chili of chatting about food.

Speaker 1 It's a ceviche, James. That's delicious.
That sounded really nice. Yeah, I had a ceviche the other day.
That's why I did it. Yeah, really delicious food description.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I want to eat that straight away. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, that's what I want. I want to make people listen to this and think, I want to eat this podcast.
Yeah. That's a gamble.

Speaker 1 My name is James A. Castle.
Castle. Together we own a drink restaurant every single week.
We're inviting a guest.

Speaker 1 Asking the favourite ever start at main course dessert, sider shan drink, not in that order. And this week, our guest is John Early.

Speaker 1 John Early, a wonderful comedian and actor, James. So funny.
We're both big fans of John Early, so we're going to have to really rein that in

Speaker 1 here.

Speaker 1 I don't think we should rein in.

Speaker 1 No, no. Well, you never reign it in if you're a fanboy of somebody.
No, I can't.

Speaker 1 I can't. It's nice to be able to just let loose.

Speaker 1 Because you're like a repository of information when it comes to things people have done and things that you remember that they've done, and especially if you're a fanboy of them.

Speaker 1 Whereas I just know that I like someone, but I've forgotten why. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Is always how it works. And yeah, that is how I feel with our relationship.
Yes.

Speaker 1 I feel you know you've liked, but you've forgotten why. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
John is in Search Party, though. I remember that.
And I like Search Party a lot. Which is fantastic.

Speaker 1 And John is in Eternity. Yes.
It's a new film. And Elizabeth Olson's in it.
Miles Teller's in it. Callum Turner's in it.
I mean, it sounds great, Jack. A24.
It's A24. A24 rom-com.
Not too shabby.

Speaker 1 Not too shabby at all. Pretty exciting.
It's set in an afterlife where souls have one week to decide where to spend eternity.

Speaker 1 Where would you spend? Oh, we know where you would. Hell.
Hell. I love hell.

Speaker 1 Because the devil's got the best tunes. Devil's got the best tunes, baby.
And the best food, I reckon. Yeah, yeah, probably.

Speaker 1 Devils on horseback? Devils on horseback. You like those? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're not getting them in heaven. No.

Speaker 1 It'd be spicy everything in hell would be spicy right everything would be spicy very bland in heaven i'd imagine although maybe some sweets well ambrosia it'd be all ambrosia oh send me to heaven man yeah yeah you'd love that then i'm repenting right now yeah yeah get me up there um we love john early but If John says the secret ingredient, which we have deemed to be unacceptable, we will have to kick John out of the restaurant.

Speaker 1 We don't want to do that, but we don't want to do it. But we'll stick to the rules.
And this week, the secret ingredient is oat milk. Oat milk.
Oat milk.

Speaker 1 Apparently, John was in a short film called Oat Milk, milk which i have not seen yeah we're not across the short film oat milk but um a quick google yeah revealed that john was in the short film called oat milk which was very helpful thank you for being in that john because thank you john came up with the secret ingredient very quickly and that means we can uh i mean i i i can't i i personally couldn't believe we hadn't had it as a secret ingredient before but we like oat milk we do like oat milk but then we've had things that just like people in general don't like yeah i guess we yeah for whatever reason we have i tell you who wouldn't like oat milk go on edwin Coffey.

Speaker 1 Edwin Coffee does not like. The fucking milks.
All these fucking milks these days.

Speaker 1 He's back.

Speaker 1 You ever tried milk here? No?

Speaker 1 He would say. Oh, it's got no tits.
Yeah, yeah. That's what I was hoping for.
Yeah, yeah. That's what I was hoping for.
Oat's got no tits. Oh, it's got no tits.
Flat-chested.

Speaker 1 Fucking old, flat-chested.

Speaker 1 But the butt.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he likes the oats, butt. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. That oat got that but

Speaker 1 it

Speaker 1 edwin coffee's basically Edwin Coffee's got to have his own spin-off pod yeah that's what I'm gonna

Speaker 1 start a petition for that yeah I would I would listen every week yeah it's called flicking the bean oh brilliant

Speaker 1 absolutely brilliant with Edwin Coffey we will if we did a Patreon we would release one episode a month of flicking the bean with Edwin Coffee here's the thing that I don't think you realize the patreon would just like whatever limit you put it would so many people

Speaker 1 would want to see that Edwin Coffee episode. You have no idea.
If you did it as a, like, people could pay and you would make an episode. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, within five minutes, no, less than five minutes, you would have met your goal and gone through the roof and have to do like so many episodes of the Edwin Coffee episode. Can we say

Speaker 1 you can buy sunglasses that are in the shape of coffee beans? Of course you can. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Must be able to.

Speaker 1 I loved when we did it live when you had the chain with a coffee cup on it as a big as a big like medallion you were wearing.

Speaker 1 you have no idea how huge that podcast would be

Speaker 1 among our fans yeah yeah yeah among the fans of this podcast no guests because he's one of those american comics who just has he's no guests on the pod i don't think because he's one of those american comics doesn't need one he's like bill burnt yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah he just sit around and just do his own anyway we should get into this and sorry yeah

Speaker 1 john early's great yeah yeah it's the last ep of the series james and it's going to be on youtube james it will be on youtube listen watch do both that would be lovely Yeah.

Speaker 1 Benito's pet project is the YouTube channel. So it's his YouTube channel.
It's his YouTube channel. Yeah.
It's the same YouTube account that he used to do all his unboxing videos on.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'd love to see a Benito unboxing video. When he was seven, he started a YouTube video.
With magic kits. Yeah.
Unboxing magic kits.

Speaker 1 This is the Portaniel's coin disappearing trick. I'm really looking forward to doing this.
I'm the great Benito. Let's hope I can make a coin disappear.

Speaker 1 And avoid make quite a few coins disappear by buying it.

Speaker 1 And that'll be on the Patreon as well. Yeah.
So go and check out Ito's unboxing videos when he was a little boy.

Speaker 1 The great unbox Ito. Yeah, exactly.
This is the off-menu menu of John Elliot.

Speaker 1 Welcome to the dream restaurant, John.

Speaker 1 Don't you have to clap in front of the camera?

Speaker 1 Welcome, John Ellie, to the Dream Restaurant. Everybody's been to you for some time.

Speaker 1 Ben just did his clap and

Speaker 1 behind the camera.

Speaker 1 I've asked this to Ben before. Doesn't he need to clap in front of the camera to sync the sound of the picture? But he insists he can just clap from behind the camera.
I don't know whether...

Speaker 1 I think it's just a personal thing he likes to do. So he's like, we've started the podcast.

Speaker 1 And he always says, I'm just going to do my clap. And then he kind of looks at the guests like they know that's his catchphrase, even though it obviously isn't on the podcast.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, you know, the guests wouldn't know, but we know. Yes.
So to us, we are like,

Speaker 1 that's his catchphrase. His podcast catchphrase.
That's his podcast catchphrase. We've all got a podcast catchphrase.
Yes.

Speaker 1 What are y'all's? Mine is that.

Speaker 1 Poplar Ms. Bread, I do.
And I do.

Speaker 1 That'll be later on, but that's a surprise, John. That's a surprise.
Okay, okay. And welcome to the Dream Restaurant.
We've expected you for some time, like I said a minute ago. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's it, really? Yeah. I'm more freewheeling.
I don't really have catchphrasephine.

Speaker 1 We've got a hole from the beginning that you do in the intro. Oh, yeah, but that's not relevant for the guests you record that later we'll record that later yeah how long is the intro about an hour

Speaker 1 usually yeah we do about 90 minutes of ads okay okay yeah yeah yeah for like so if y'all need me to read any ads let me know yeah sure that'd be great because we don't like that that bit yeah even though that's the bit that actually we make money for of course

Speaker 1 we're sort of the rogan of the uk so we do like a lot of ads for grills and uh erectile dysfunction medicine shooting deer shooting deer yeah yeah yeah dead deer we do ads for dead deer and we do adverts for the Joe Rogan podcast.

Speaker 1 But he doesn't ask us to do that. No, no, just we do that for the love.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We pay to do that.

Speaker 1 What we would like to advertise, really, more than anything, though, is the film maternity.

Speaker 1 You don't want to advertise it?

Speaker 1 That's not what I'm here for. Oh, okay.
Well,

Speaker 1 would you like to advertise one of your other projects from the past?

Speaker 1 Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Is there something, the genuine question, you wish people, like, more people knew about that you've done in the past that you would love them to discover?

Speaker 1 As well as the film Eternity, which we are going to talk about?

Speaker 1 I think,

Speaker 1 I mean, there's something so obvious that's not coming to mind.

Speaker 1 It would be some... Well,

Speaker 1 we've really thrown you early doors. We really have.
I mean, I think probably, I made this thing with Cape Burlington called 555 in like the 80s. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 it you know it was on like a it was behind a paywall on vimeo it was the first time they were like we're gonna make original content

Speaker 1 and it was last time that was we tanked the operation nice and so yeah so no one's seen it are you pretty proud of that though you brought down

Speaker 1 yeah the two of you were very funny on very important people oh thank you

Speaker 1 as the zombies yeah that was that was fun if if people haven't seen that i i don't i'm not going to just describe describe it. They should just go and watch that as well.

Speaker 1 Yeah, anything the two of you do together, let's just promote that. Thanks.
Also, the film, the film, Other People, do you want to let's promote that? I love that. No way.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 You still in touch with the little kid? Oh, no. That little kid was funny, man.

Speaker 1 He was good. I was, I really felt in love with Jesse Plemons.
Yeah. Doing that movie.
That was the first time I ever felt like the kind of transference

Speaker 1 in the psychoanalysis sense. Oh, yeah.
We were like playing best friends yeah and then i was like we left and i was like he's my best friend

Speaker 1 it took like a month to like shed that do you think he was feeling that as well no no he wasn't trying to

Speaker 1 he was so sweet but i don't think he was feeling i was like he had done like 400 movies at that point so he was used to whatever that is yeah yeah do you find yourself watching him now and stuff and being like why is that person his best friend yeah

Speaker 1 literally yes yeah i'm jealous yeah i could have kidnapped him and stone with him if he'd asked me.

Speaker 1 Is that when you cut your hair? You shaved your hair off because you were like, I want to be in Begonia? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Jesse!

Speaker 1 From before?

Speaker 1 Eternity looks fantastic, though. Thank you.
We are going to make you talk about it.

Speaker 1 Okay. I love the premise of it.

Speaker 1 So someone dies. Yes.
I'm gay.

Speaker 1 What? In the film? Yes. That's the premise? Yes.
We've got the first to view.

Speaker 1 I'm gay in the film and in real life. That never happens.
And that's never happened. That's never happened.
I mean, in other people.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Okay.
But it has happened. There are other people.
I mean, Jesse Plemons and Zach Woods, to my knowledge and knowledge.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, you're right.

Speaker 1 And play a very, I'd say, do you know what? I'm not going to keep on talking about other people. Why not keep on talking about that film? But a very convincing couple.

Speaker 1 I really believe they're in love in that film. Yes, I agree.
Good actors. Yeah, Jane is amazed by acting is something you need to know.
So he will say things like

Speaker 1 they're not a couple, but I believe that they were a couple. But it's nuts.

Speaker 1 Like, it is crazy. Most films that I'm watching, there's a couple in it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't believe they're really in love with each other. I know.
Those two in that film, I was like, they're in love with each other. Yeah.
Fully. They're going to be together forever.

Speaker 1 Wait, can I say something about other people? Yeah. I had to say the title of the movie in the movie, which is the hardest thing you can do as an actor.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because you like, there's no way you're not aware. Like, so I had to say, maybe now you're other people to other people.

Speaker 1 And it's like, you're like, you're saying it, and you're like, this is going in the trailer. Yeah.
And it's like absolutely impossible to not be like.

Speaker 1 It was so hard. There should be a rule where if the actor has to say the name of the movie in the movie, they get to look right down the camera instead of that.
Yeah, that would have helped me.

Speaker 1 But I was just like trying to play it so cool. I was like,

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 it was bad. It was bad.
Imagine if that had just been the working title as well. And they changed it.

Speaker 1 And then you were like, oh no. Everyone's going to wonder why I say that line weird.
Yeah. What is John really freak out? He's the other people.
Oh, no.

Speaker 1 The first time I remember seeing that happen in a movie was the film Executive Decision. Do you remember that film? No, no, what is that? It's Stephen Segel, I believe.

Speaker 1 And they have to, there's terrorists on a plane and they have to fly a... a jet underneath the plane and make like a tunnel so they can get into the plane.

Speaker 1 And that is the executive decision they have to make. That's amazing.
I we need to make an executive decision i was like that's the title of the film how did they make the tunnel was it

Speaker 1 i can't really remember but it had they pulled it off yeah yeah

Speaker 1 it went well the executive decision was the correct decision drastic park i remember them saying it oh yeah

Speaker 1 say the during the film yeah we're

Speaker 1 yeah yeah yeah they say a lot yeah

Speaker 1 we still not talked about eternity oh i'm sorry i'm sorry okay eternity elizabeth olson elizabeth olson goes to the afterlife goes to like choosing between Callum Turner and Miles Teller.

Speaker 1 This is her life partner and someone that was her first love who died in the Korean War. Died in the Korean War.
And that's not a spoiler.

Speaker 1 And I play a little angel with a clipboard. Amazing.
I wasn't, you know, I wasn't called an angel. No one was like, you're playing an angel, but technically, it's the afterlife.
I'm up there. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm an angel.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I have a little clipboard and I'm helping people go to their eternities. I don't think I'm good at promoting this movie.

Speaker 1 I love this. I love this movie.
High premise. Yeah.
You know, like kind of has like a, like, um, they don't make them like that anymore,

Speaker 1 you know, like this anymore. Kind of like a Peggy Sue Got Married, defending your life, kind of high concept rom-com.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 If Ed and I, and Benito, turned up in heaven and you had a little angel with a clipboard, they would just send us. Well, that's the thing you have to choose.

Speaker 1 I'm there to help you choose. I'm sorry.
So, yeah. It's very, I mean, it's very similar to this podcast, which gets us right to our next topic.

Speaker 1 We'll put an ad in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 We always start with still or sparkling water, John. Do you have a preference? Sparkling.
Sparkling water. Yeah.
Why? Yeah, your eyes really lit up there when you said sparkling.

Speaker 1 I think that actually it is a stupid choice because it would make me full. Do people always say that?

Speaker 1 No, not always, but people have said it. Okay, okay.
So you can join an elite group.

Speaker 1 But it's so refreshing and exciting.

Speaker 1 I'm still, I'm, you know, 22 and I still get excited about sparkling water. Yeah.
I do think it's special. Like, it really is an exciting.

Speaker 1 That's why it blows my mind when people have it at home all the time.

Speaker 1 I'll go to a restaurant and I'll be like, oh, sparkling, please. It's a nice way way to kick off the meal.
But there's people getting up in the morning and drinking it. Well, that's crazy.

Speaker 1 And that's new. Don't you think? Don't you think sparkling water is like, it's been around forever, but don't you think it's like, do you have LaCroix here? We don't, but we're aware of it.

Speaker 1 We're aware of it. It's just a popular, I'm going to look right down the barrel for

Speaker 1 these moments when I'm dressing.

Speaker 1 So it's a popular

Speaker 1 kind of cheap brand of sparkling water. And we're back.

Speaker 1 And it's like flavored, flavored psyches yes but everyone drinks it all the time everyone drinks it and it just suddenly it was like i don't know just everyone started having sparkling water in their homes

Speaker 1 but how did they do it how do they get the bubbles in there

Speaker 1 literally what would be what would what's your best guess

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 i i don't know i can't even guess they put a tube

Speaker 1 in the water

Speaker 1 is there someone on the other end of the tube yes yeah it's human it's yeah it's human bubbles Blow them in. Yeah,

Speaker 1 who would you want that to be? If it could be anyone in the world to blow the bubbles into your sparkling water, your dreams are true. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's nice. I guess you could have a choice, right?

Speaker 1 They could sell different brands for different people who've done the bubbles. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, that's beautiful.
Yeah. Like the cheaper ones could just be some like old guy.
He's on the can. Yeah.
An old guy on the can. An old guy.
He's on the can. They're not on the can.

Speaker 1 They're on the can. They're not the the can, like the toilet.
Do you guys?

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's what I thought you were saying.
Yeah, yeah. I thought an old man on the canile.
That's the really cheap version.

Speaker 1 If we weren't talking to an American guest,

Speaker 1 I would think. I meant on the can.
I said on the can in the middle.

Speaker 1 We could stay on the can. We don't know, but I thought, oh, Ed is like adapting to your lingo.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he wants to put an old man on the toilet. Blowing bubbles into his drink.
Well, maybe it's called, the water's called on the can.

Speaker 1 And on the can is a picture of an old man on the can.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 he's blown blown the bubbles in with his mouth with his mouth crucially not old man's butt

Speaker 1 whoa did you hear that yeah was that you did it did you pick it up i honestly thought that was a motion for my picked up i'm also like this morning i don't know if i've got i've either got this is it's either trapped wind or my appendix have burst because my stomach is it's fucked I think you would be in extreme pain if you're appendix.

Speaker 1 I'm tough, though. I'm pretty tough.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I'm a tough guy.
Pretty tough guy. Yeah.
So we'll see by the end of the podcast which it is. Yes.
Oh, yeah. We'll know.
Yeah, we'll know. For sure.

Speaker 1 What a clip we're going to get out of that if it's a pentacle. That's the craziest.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I could announce it.

Speaker 1 You tell me and then I announce it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But that it does feel related to our

Speaker 1 bubbles. The bubbles.
So that bubbles in it. I'm still choosing it.
Yeah. Bubbles.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
You're still choosing. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
So you're still.

Speaker 1 Despite the fact that it would make me fall. Do you want like a flavored, a flavored sparkling water? No.
No, just the plain. Just the plain.

Speaker 1 We've talked about it before, but the flavor's never enough for me in those waters. No.
It's always the memory of a fruit. It's not.

Speaker 1 And it always, like, no matter how real, it tastes fake. Yeah.
Don't you think? Yeah. Because I'm like, well, where is it? Yeah.
Like, it's clear. So I'm like, that's fake.

Speaker 1 Any flavor I'm getting has to be artificial if I'm not seeing any evidence of it in the water. Like bits.
You want bits of bits. Yeah, I want little pulp bits.

Speaker 1 yeah have you seen those um like cans of like lemon uh like seltzer you can get in japan where you open the can up fully at the top you like peel the lid off and there is a whole slice of lemon no that's genius that's pretty cool right that's so cool sometimes ed makes stuff up to the guests and it's not i believe we're trying to stop him from doing it I've not made that up.

Speaker 1 Lemon sours, they're like booze drinks. You open up the top and there's like an actual slice of lemon in there.
Wow. It's booze.
It's booze, baby.

Speaker 1 Are they preserving the lemon or or is it a fresh slice of lemon? It's like a fresh slice of lemon, so I don't know how it's hanging out in there for so long. That's crazy.
It's pretty cool. This is

Speaker 1 how's it even getting in there? Well, they put it in there, man. It's not going.

Speaker 1 How do they get it in there? What do you mean? How big is the can? It's like the same size as the can. If you think about a can, a wedged lemon is bigger than the hole in the top of a can.

Speaker 1 No, no, wait.

Speaker 1 It's not a wedge. Yeah, it's not a wedge.
It's a slice. It's a cross-section.
Yeah. It's a slice, and then the can is not a hot.
There's not a hole in the can.

Speaker 1 You literally take the whole, you peel the whole lid off like it's a can of tuna. And then, why don't they put a wedge in there because of a can of tuna? I don't know, man.

Speaker 1 You've got to take this up as I regularly say to you, you've got to take this up with the Japanese

Speaker 1 as always. They're sick of having fun

Speaker 1 every single week. Yeah, pop dumbs or bread, pop dumbs or bread, John Ellie.
Pop-dums or bread. And there's the catchphrase.
That's the pop-a-dums or bread. That's an Indian kind of cracker.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Has this come up

Speaker 1 clearly? But is it someone disagreed with you at one point

Speaker 1 in your early childhood?

Speaker 1 This is a question that I thought was just normal when we started the podcast. And then you know you're in comedy, you kind of end up learning the hard way that you're weird.

Speaker 1 So you don't know going in, you're just like, oh, this will be a pretty normal thing. Oh, yeah.
No, I for the main like a totally mainstream, like for the masses

Speaker 1 comedian, and then everyone describes me as weird. Yeah.
Can I say it's worse the other way around?

Speaker 1 When you start doing comedy and find out you're really normal.

Speaker 1 That's really sorry, man. That's all right.
Yeah. You know, that's why this works.

Speaker 1 He's not really normal as a person. Yeah, yeah.
A lot of demons.

Speaker 1 If anyone's listening, James just physically taps me on the head when he gestured to my demons. Do you have pure audio listeners? We do.

Speaker 1 A lot of pure audio listeners. That's the best my heart.
Yeah. Yeah.
And we have done for a long time. So this, I mean, really, this is the new thing for us.
Right, freaking, we hate it.

Speaker 1 It's awful. Did you used to be less put together?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'd say so. This is nuts what I'm wearing.
Yeah, James is wearing a jacket. This is bat shit.
Yeah. I don't know why I've well, I do know why I've done it.

Speaker 1 I've been really getting into this jacket lately. I love it.
But also in the morning, I just, you know, this is, this is quite early, this record.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 when I got up, I was like, oh, I haven't even thought about what I'm going to wear for the podcast. So I grabbed this, ironed it, and then

Speaker 1 I ironed this because it was absolutely

Speaker 1 eyeball. Yeah, it was mad.

Speaker 1 Had to iron it, looked in the mirror, go, this isn't enough. Also, it's freezing outside.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm overthinking it all. And I've got like, you know, five minutes to get out the door.
So I chuck this on. And then I realized that if this top button's undone, it looks like absolute horseshit.

Speaker 1 So I had to quickly do that up. And then I'm like, leaving the house going, who is this?

Speaker 1 I'm like, he's going to, Ed's going to comment. I know Ed's got to be.
What did I say? I did comment. What did I say? Neat boy? Yeah, very nice.
I think he looks very nice. I agree.
Very smart. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he's dressed up for you. And also, I feel like you could host a major panel to launch a new product.
Whoa. A good product for people?

Speaker 1 Not like something that is contributing to all the bad stuff in the world. No, no, no.
I feel like a can with a wedge of lemon in it. You could be like the guy.
The wedge guy. Yeah.
Forget the slice.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Wedge can. Oh, yeah.
Sorry, James made an early joke about your name. That's okay.

Speaker 1 I couldn't help it you know i know you've had it your whole life and we're really sorry but i don't care it's never really it's more that people like this is happening right now they then they give me the opportunity to be annoyed or they're like i know i'm sorry and sometimes i'll take advantage of that and go yeah

Speaker 1 and they'll be like have you gotten that on your whole life i'm like yeah but i'm like i don't care about what i'm saying right now

Speaker 1 i don't think it really it's never really bugged me if any well we've had a lot we've had a lot of fun with it on the whatsapp group for for the podcast.

Speaker 1 Really? Really? Because this is a 9 a.m. record, of course.
Yeah, it is early. So it's early for us.
Yeah. So it's funny.
Yeah. And on the other way here, you know, Ed was running late.

Speaker 1 So he said, I'm going to be John late. Oh, that is funny, man.
That's really good. Yeah, yeah.
That's really good. Yeah.
And we were like, what if John's late?

Speaker 1 Then are we going to have some fun with him about that? Yeah. That's big.
I was John on time. Yeah.
That was funny. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's all pretty funny stuff, John.

Speaker 1 When you think about it, you're

Speaker 1 it's really funny.

Speaker 1 But popadoms are bread, though. Wait, are?

Speaker 1 Pop-doms or bread. Oh, that's the catchphrase? Yeah.
I thought you were saying popped ons are bread. Yeah.
It was a statement. Yes, exactly.

Speaker 1 That's not the word that our American guests usually have a problem with. Usually they're like, what did you say? What was that first word?

Speaker 1 But I've now discovering that even the word or in my accent doesn't translate.

Speaker 1 Excuse me. That was not related.
I swear to God.

Speaker 1 That was related. No, no.
There was some buildup.

Speaker 1 Claudio Doherty, who I've already brought up you privately, she taught me about poppadums. Am I saying that right? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 She got me poppadums for my birthday. Actually, I'm not kidding.

Speaker 1 I'm not kidding. She got me a package of poppadums that you put in the microwave and they

Speaker 1 pop. So because

Speaker 1 she taught you about them. Yeah.
Did she, was she like, these are like £100 each? And this is the gift for you. oh wait are you saying they're so cheap oh my god that's so funny it's a bad gift

Speaker 1 i think they were like i don't think they were expensive but i think they were like specialty or they were like you know authentic yeah anyway but isn't that a sweet gift

Speaker 1 they have the kind of you it comes with like a childlike wonder of seeing them transform in the microwave yeah like it feels like a toy you would get yeah or like those little sponges that you put in the water and they expand love those things.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Those are so cool. Would you eat one of those sponges? No.

Speaker 1 Although I've heard there is a, you know, pre-um, Ozumpic,

Speaker 1 there was a,

Speaker 1 there still is a pill that you can take that. It's like a plant-based sponge that expands in your stomach.
You like, it's like in a little capsule. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just me acting out

Speaker 1 and eating it is so weird. That was good today.
And you looked Ed right in the eyes so you ate the capsule. It's like, wow.
Well, I thought there was a capsule there.

Speaker 1 That was so weird.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 you take the capsule and then it's like a plant-based sponge, expands in your stomach, and then you're less hungry. Yeah, you would be.
Yeah. And then what happens to the sponge?

Speaker 1 Well, it's plant-based and it eventually

Speaker 1 breaks down. Yeah, you don't have to shit the whole sponge out.
No, no. But what if it's plant-based and the plant is the plant from the Little Shop of Hearts?

Speaker 1 Then you won't stop. No, that's the risk.
Yeah. It's let's go to shout Fabi Seymour and you'll stop.

Speaker 1 You're constantly having to feed it people.

Speaker 1 Oh my God. And you're going to have the opposite problem.
Yeah. People don't think of these.
Dude, do you want the

Speaker 1 problems that? Oh, sorry, sorry.

Speaker 1 Or bread. Yeah.
Yeah. Bread.
Sorry, sorry. Not according to that.

Speaker 1 I have to say, like, and I think Claudia knows this, that, like, I was so excited by the kind of microwave transformation, that the novelty of that.

Speaker 1 But I don't really respond to like that kind of crackery thing across cultures.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 yeah, you don't like the crunch, it doesn't really do much for me. I like the

Speaker 1 multiple textures of bread where you're getting the crunch of the crust and then the soft interior.

Speaker 1 No, I can't help with Ed from that one, yeah, yeah. Um, straight down the back.
What kind of bread? What kind of bread would you like?

Speaker 1 Sourdough,

Speaker 1 Right? You looked so running. I got scared.
I got so scared.

Speaker 1 What did you think we were going to do? Yeah. You said the wrong bread.
I don't know. I just, I've actually never, that's what's cool about this podcast.
I've never thought about that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Sourdough. Make people figure out stuff they haven't thought about before.

Speaker 1 Is there a place that you've had the best sourdough or you buy sourdough from?

Speaker 1 Where do you live in the States? I'm realizing that every question is going to stop me in my tracks.

Speaker 1 I would say, because we've done a lot of episodes of this podcast, but I would say your responses are the most

Speaker 1 that I've felt,

Speaker 1 yeah, this makes sense. Of course, like, why are we asking this shit? No, no, no.
No, no, I don't think you're responding, like, why are you asking me this?

Speaker 1 But, like, it is when you look at us like that, I think, yeah, it's like we're, we're the weird ones here. No, no, you're not.

Speaker 1 When we said, what sort of bread do you you want? And you've looked down and then looked up at us, and then is there anywhere good from sourdough?

Speaker 1 And then you've looked down again and looked up at us, so vulnerable and so scared. It's like you've used it as an acting trick.
I think in future projects,

Speaker 1 you can just imagine someone said, What bread do you like? And then look down and then just like,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 totally and locked in in the moment.

Speaker 1 There's really good sourdough. You know, I honestly, I would love homemade.
I would love, but not me,

Speaker 1 but like someone insert a friend. Claudia? She doesn't make bread.

Speaker 1 No, but there's there's really there's really good. Okay, there's there's little grocery stores in LA,

Speaker 1 grocery stores, yes, in Los Angeles that have little, like great little bread, sourdough bread.

Speaker 1 Hey, if Claudia opened a bakery, she called Claudia O'Doe a tea. Oh, that's good.
That's genius. Yes, genius.
Wow. Yes, genius.

Speaker 1 Your dream started, John. Okay.

Speaker 1 So there is a thing that I

Speaker 1 make

Speaker 1 that shocks everyone. Oh, okay.
I got it from a restaurant that does not make it anymore. It's a crostini.
So you cut thin slices of an Italian country bread.

Speaker 1 And this actually contradicts exactly what I was saying. Then you dry it out so it is cracker-like.
Yes, okay. Then you put like a

Speaker 1 slab. a pad of cold butter on it, like a rectangle of butter.

Speaker 1 And then you put a man a manchovy. A manchovy.
You put an anchovy that's been marinated in Calabrian chili, a spicy anchovy. Yeah.
A spicy anchovy. A manchovy.
A manchovy.

Speaker 1 And then you put thinly sliced shallot.

Speaker 1 Y'all don't call them shallots, do you? Shallot. Oh, oh, oh.
Same word.

Speaker 1 Some words. Different pronunciation.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And then parsley. I'm almost done.

Speaker 1 Parsley on top of that, lemon juice on top of that. and then parmesan on top of that.

Speaker 1 Now you're thinking, like, okay, yeah, simple Italian ingredients. The combination of all these things textually and on a flavor level is shocking.
And that's, and that's my time.

Speaker 1 It sounds delicious to go.

Speaker 1 Absolutely delicious. It's so good.
And I was on board with the thick slab of butter. I was like, this is going in a direction I like.
I nearly shouted, take me to church. It sounds amazing.

Speaker 1 People really like when they see you assemble it, they're always like, okay, with the butter.

Speaker 1 Shut up.

Speaker 1 It just, trust me, it's like, it's so, it's so good. And it's really sweet laying the anchovy on its little butter bed.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because it is one fish. Yeah.
It is. You know, it's a, it's a filet.
It's, it's, you really, you really feel that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's crazy how different anchovies look when they're like in the tin actually how they looked initially. I don't know what they look like initially.
No.

Speaker 1 Well, if you had like fresher anchovies where they're more like just like white fish. Right.
Oh, right, right, right. Yeah.
So I guess they look a bit more like just like small fish. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But when they're all like brown and lying there, I know. They've really changed, though.
They're quite, I mean, they're gross. They're lions.

Speaker 1 Like, they are. It's taken me a while to get over the kind of like of anchovies, but now I'm fully like, I'll be using them left and right.
Anyway, you only need one per thing, right?

Speaker 1 Because they're punchy. Yeah.
Yeah. But some, you've got to make sure it's a big one that can lay across the bed.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Butter.
And you tug in with a a little parsley blanket.

Speaker 1 The first time I've ever heard about anchovies was just on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Speaker 1 Oh, right. They were like, they were like, it's gross.
I hated them. Yeah.
And I was like, okay, so I guess they're disgusting then, right? So I'd never had one before.

Speaker 1 And it wasn't really something I came across for years. Yeah.
And then when I did have one, I was like, I don't know what the big fuss was about. Michelangelo turning his nose up at this.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is quite nice. And he was a party dude, famously.
Meant to be. Meant to be the party dude.
And he was like, I don't like anchovies. But he put weird stuff on the chip.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so fussy for like a party or something. Yeah.
I think it's... His fucking sewer.

Speaker 1 His best friend's a rap. Best friends are rap.
Really? Yeah. Wow, I didn't know.
I didn't watch that stuff. No.

Speaker 1 I didn't watch that stuff.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry, y'all. What did you watch when you were a little kid? Girl stuff.

Speaker 1 No, I watched a lot of, I watched a lot. I mean, I was really left alone with the TV, you know, and I watched a lot of I Love Lucy.
Ah. A lot.

Speaker 1 Was she big here? I don't think so. Not that big here.
Not as big here as.

Speaker 1 Have you never watched it? I don't think I've ever. I don't think I've ever watched it.
You guys, you guys?

Speaker 1 It's still the funniest shit on earth. Yeah.
It is so... She is so funny.

Speaker 1 I follow everything Lucille Ball on Instagram. I was like cockling to myself the other day.
Still. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, that's more. I mean, I don't think about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles that much.
So that's clearly, she's got more longevity than

Speaker 1 Donatello and the rest of the lads. Yeah.
Wait, but really quickly, anchovies. Don't you think it's so crazy that they were like processing each individual anchovy?

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm sure they're not like by hand. They probably have a way to do it all at once.
Maybe an old man on the can

Speaker 1 is doing that. Well, they're taking the skeleton out, right? Or

Speaker 1 you occasionally feel like there's bones in there, right?

Speaker 1 But those soft jars that are so soft. Yeah.

Speaker 1 How the hell yeah are they doing that y'all with the soft bones yeah but they are they must be taking the little spine out that's crazy that is so small yeah yeah some of those fish can get expensive they're like those tinned fish i know you can buy

Speaker 1 really crazy expensive stuff yeah i know that's really a sign that we're it's the end of the world on the way out don't you think yeah that tinned fish has become so expensive yeah yeah we know we yeah i mean yeah every day how often how many times a day would you say you think to yourself, even over the smallest things, we're fucked?

Speaker 1 I mean, I think it's so kind of ambient now.

Speaker 1 I mean, but do you remember when you first started? Like, like I, like 20 maybe 13, I remember being like,

Speaker 1 and and then and and I was like, well, this feeling will go away, and then it didn't, and now we're used to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're used to it now. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And now we watch films about dying and going in the afterlife to comfort ourselves. Yeah.

Speaker 1 In theaters this Thanksgiving,

Speaker 1 which don't even celebrate.

Speaker 1 It's too close to Christmas. What are you guys doing? No.
Yeah, you guys. Tell me about it.
I have to go to Nashville, where I'm from,

Speaker 1 twice, like in a month's time, which I love. I can't wait to see my family.
Yeah. But like.
That's a lot. That's two big old trips.
Yeah, that's crazy.

Speaker 1 And then 900 months between that where I'm not going.

Speaker 1 That's crazy.

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Speaker 1 Your dream main course, John.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait, wait, wait, hold on. So, but do I get sides? You will do it.
You will do it. Okay, sorry.
Oh, yeah. Don't you worry.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 By the way, I have to say, I feel like I'm in such good hands. Yeah, right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't need to worry.
You don't need to worry.

Speaker 1 That's a great starter. I'm excited to hear what the main course is.
And I really actually want to applaud the simplicity of the premise. Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 1 And that you're not apologizing for the premise. Here's the one thing I hate about podcasts with premises.
Should we apologize for the premise? No, no. Oh, my God.
That's so

Speaker 1 passive-aggressive. And yeah, I love that you're not apologizing for the premise.
I love you not apologizing. With you really apologizing.
Because anyone else with any shame would.

Speaker 1 No, but I feel like people do have shame over their... premi.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And they don't get to it and they go, well, we'll just talk about your life for, you know, like for like an hour and we can just get to to the premise i'm like no i don't want to talk about you know i want to i want to have a game yeah we talk around the premise sure that's immediately started coming up so naturally but the freight the framework's always there yeah i think like like you were saying with the uh we're feeling for me now the shame is just ambient with the podcast

Speaker 1 like when i when i started i was like oh man we're podcasters this is not the this is not the plan i've always loved it good you should love it. I love it.
I'm pathetic. I wish I was in eternity.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 No. Interviewing people about better stuff that they're doing.
What we're doing is fucking shit off.

Speaker 1 You wish you were in the premise of the movie, or you wish you were in the movie? I wish I was you.

Speaker 1 Don't wish so hard.

Speaker 1 Oh my god. Thank you.
Embarrassing.

Speaker 1 I'd forgotten about it until you brought up the

Speaker 1 wishes with you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I bet. Yeah.
Saw you once on the streets of New York. You walked past me.
I didn't dare say hello. Is that true? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Why didn't you say hi? This is a year ago. Exactly a year ago, pretty much.
Oh, my God. You walked past me with your phone.

Speaker 1 Really? You were on your phone, laughing at something on your phone while your friend was talking,

Speaker 1 but you weren't listening to your friend. And I was like, that is John Early.
No!

Speaker 1 But I wasn't showing my friend. No, it made me laugh.

Speaker 1 Yo, it was a glimpse. So obviously I didn't see any of it in context.
I imagined that

Speaker 1 probably the second before, the second after, I looked over, you had show your friend. Was the friend?

Speaker 1 What gender was the friend? Male? Okay. Careful, by the way.
To my eyes.

Speaker 1 Might not have been. God, isn't it so devastating that like the one time I was observed, I was on my phone.
Yeah, but I was like, that's what I want if I'm seeing John Early walking around New York.

Speaker 1 Now, how does this feel? Because I don't know how to interpret this. That he's decided, that's what I want from John Early.
This is me on my phone.

Speaker 1 I want you to be on your phone. Ignoring his friend.
On your phone, ignoring your friend and loving being on your phone. No.
Like, no kind of like,

Speaker 1 no, like, you know, everyone's scrolling like zombies, but you were like, this is the best thing ever.

Speaker 1 I love my phone. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 it doesn't matter. My friend is like.
Hate my phone. I hate my phone.
Yeah, yeah. But it looked like, it looked like he's so happy.
He's just leaning into

Speaker 1 a very happy time here.

Speaker 1 November of last year in New York. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I didn't have time to say hello. I was you looked up and you were gone.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Damn.
But I was like, well, one day we can bring that up on a podcast. Wow.
That's beautiful.

Speaker 1 You have to say hi next time. I mean, but now that this has happened.
No, I have to. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Good over here, James.

Speaker 1 I take my phone. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Fun going through the sewer. Michelangelo catches it.

Speaker 1 Oh, main course. Main course.
Sorry.

Speaker 1 Chicken.

Speaker 1 Chicken. Chicken.
Chicken. Chicken.
Okay, but a roast chicken. Yeah, yeah.
Just a perfect roast chicken.

Speaker 1 The thing, the version that I've made with Claudia for years is the Thomas Color roast chicken. Okay.
Which is the method is you just pat it hardcore dry with paper towels,

Speaker 1 rain salt and pepper down on it. You're like a salt pepper crust.

Speaker 1 You're not putting oil on it. Oh, wow.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Because what happens is, I don't know, I don't understand the science, but basically that, you put that in the oven, whatever, high heat, an hour, and that creates a crazy, crazy crispiness. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 And so juicy inside.

Speaker 1 And it's just, it's just salt and pepper. I hated saying juicy, but it's true, but I'm just like, it's what you want.
It's not gross.

Speaker 1 I want it as crispy as possible on the outside and juicy as possible on the inside. It's like, it's perfect.
So it would be a roast, just a beautiful, simple roast chicken with some sauce.

Speaker 1 And this is actually what I was struggling with on the car on the way here, the sauces.

Speaker 1 And I was like, because I like the point of it is the simplicity of like a roast chicken. But I do think I would want like a classic aioli on the side to dip it in.
And maybe

Speaker 1 like a chimichurri.

Speaker 1 That sounds very good. I think, yeah.
The fact is just salt and pepper as well. Oh, heaven.
How do you feel when you're patting the chicken down? Because I hate that. Yeah, it's weird, isn't it?

Speaker 1 It sucks. Because I've done that.

Speaker 1 I've patted a chicken in my time. Ed used to work on the door of a nightclub.

Speaker 1 And a lot of chickens would turn up and try and get them down. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And they'd be suspicious because he'd be like,

Speaker 1 when we get patted down, we were going into the oven.

Speaker 1 I'm like, no, I just need to check to see if you've got anything. It is hot in there, though.
Yeah, it is hot in there. You guys are going to get crispy.
Juicy on the inside.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'll do that with steak as well. Like, you really have to cut it down to get it all off.

Speaker 1 But steak is fundamentally less gross than chicken. Really? What do you think? I mean, don't you, I mean, it's just like because of the fear.
I don't know if you guys have this here,

Speaker 1 but like in America, there's a real fear of a saltmanilla.

Speaker 1 So there's just like, you're like. Immediately in the air when you're born into America is like, you're just like, you don't trust raw chicken.

Speaker 1 There is a smell to raw chicken that's not pleasant.

Speaker 1 And then like the paper towels are like kind of pink.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because of all the chicken juices. Yeah.
I don't love that. But you know,

Speaker 1 it's a small price to pay for gorgeous roast chicken. Yeah.
All right. That's a break.

Speaker 1 I had a great roast chicken just this weekend at the Clarence in Stoke Newington. There he is.
In where now?

Speaker 1 Stoke Newington? Stoke Newington in London. I went to a place called the Clarence.
Hadn't been there before.

Speaker 1 Fancy?

Speaker 1 Just a pub, like a fancy pub, but not totally crazy fancy. Got there pretty late.
Yeah. About to stop doing food.
John Late.

Speaker 1 He did it. This sucks.

Speaker 1 And they were like, all we've got is the roast chicken left. So I wasn't going to order the roast chicken.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 So I i was like fine are they like famous for their roast chicken no no i i i don't i don't think so but like they should be yeah because i was like i'm really glad that that was the only thing that was there because i wouldn't have ordered it yeah and it was so good i couldn't stop eating it and it was for two was there gravy i was there with a friend it was like these beans and mushrooms and a bit of truffle in like a sauce on and then the roast chicken was on top of that

Speaker 1 so i was kind of getting the different pieces of roast chicken, cutting them up, then running it through that sauce. Oh my God.
and eating it. It was very good.
The hunger has hit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I love the way James describes the most normal way to eat something.

Speaker 1 As if you just get and then I'm eating and getting the red, getting a bit of the not the whole thing, just cutting a little bit off, and then I'm putting it in the sauce. I'm combining the two.

Speaker 1 That's how I'd recommend doing it. Some people won't know.

Speaker 1 They won't, I know. Some people will think.
They think they have to eat the sauce separately. Yeah, or like I ate the whole chicken

Speaker 1 in one go. Like a king.
Like a king? I didn't do that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So you just want people to know how I ate it properly. Does sound delicious, though, doesn't it?

Speaker 1 A wedge of lemon. Sorry.
Yes. I just remembered.
That's another thing. It was a wedge of lemon with the chicken that you can squirt on it.
You squirt on it.

Speaker 1 The words. You're not putting it in the ass.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 I once did a roast chicken at home and put the lemon in the chicken's butt, and my nephews were obsessed with it. That's cute.
They couldn't believe it had happened. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's one of those things that I always was kind of like, like, this is fake. Like when people put stuff in the butt.
Yeah. Of the chicken.
Yeah. Of the chicken.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm always like, I'm always like, really? That's infusing?

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's real.
It's real. It's actually real.
What do you got? Loads of garlic up there as well.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Or a half an onion.
Done that before as well. Yeah.
It all works. But yeah, or the lemon, get a whole lemon, pierce the lemon.

Speaker 1 You do that one and then just and then put the whole, it's satisfying putting the whole lemon up there. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I love how Ed just says things that we all do and like describes it in detail on the podcast. Well, I know.
I just

Speaker 1 have you done the whole lemon with the spike the whole lemon, put it up there. Have you done that one? I've never done it.
There you go. No, neither have I.
No,

Speaker 1 not very common. I've never done it.

Speaker 1 Do you want Claudia there for this roast chicken? Because you're

Speaker 1 challenging. She's really good at it.
It's not, she's like very much woven into this meal. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We're not eating her. I want to be clear.
Crystal clear.

Speaker 1 But no, she is so good at making roast chicken. She knows how to truss it, you know,

Speaker 1 tie it up.

Speaker 1 Is that what truss means? I think so. I think so, yeah.
According to you.

Speaker 1 There's been a prime minister here called Truss. Really? Yeah, not for very long.
She killed the queen and left, but like,

Speaker 1 it was a very small amount of time. She basically came in as prime minister, fuck the economy, the queen died, and then she left.

Speaker 1 Wow. Yeah.
But she met the queen when she became prime minister and then, like, literally, like, days later, the queen died. So everyone was like, Liz Druss has killed the queen.

Speaker 1 And then, yeah, it was not a successful partnership, I would say. No, not great for

Speaker 1 now. She sort of pops up now and again.
She said, no, she was because she was doing something where I was like, I can't believe you've got the nerve to still show your face in public and speak like

Speaker 1 you know about stuff. Yeah.
She was really running her mouth off on something. And I was like, but it wasn't, you know, it was pretty

Speaker 1 just the usual conservative bullshit but like i was like how are you still a thing it was amazing they basically completely destroyed the economy with this plan and then uh she went well i'm gonna go on local radio and talk about it and did like a sort of tour of local radio stations in one day and thinking it'll be easy soft sale and they all destroyed her oh no there's a compilation of of her talking to local radio stations getting absolutely roasted like a chicken

Speaker 1 you should have her on the pod

Speaker 1 we try

Speaker 1 trying to get her on on the pod. She keeps saying no.

Speaker 1 We'd love to get Truss on the pod. Truss, if you're listening.
Yeah. Answer your emails, buddy.
So you're going with the Truss chicken rather than how do you feel about Spatchcock chicken?

Speaker 1 Well, I love it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I'm going to leave it at that.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 what I like about spatchcocking is that it's usually done for you.

Speaker 1 I mean, you know, you can ask a butcher, can you do it? Yes. And there's something really nice.

Speaker 1 It's like remembering that you can ask a butcher to do the hard thing is like one of the great joys in life. You feel like a Dickensian person going to a butcher.
I know, I know.

Speaker 1 Would you mind specch cooking that for me?

Speaker 1 But it has to be about me when you ask the butcher to do the hard thing.

Speaker 1 You can't be like, I need you to go and break up with my partner. Right, right, right.

Speaker 1 I don't know how to tell them I'd like just to send a butcher to them. Yeah.
And could you help me with the wordle? That sort of stuff. Exactly.
You can't ask a butcher to help you with a wordle.

Speaker 1 I don't think they would complain, actually. You could say to the butcher,

Speaker 1 well, come on, I'm stuck here. I've got one more guess.
Yeah. But they always guess beefy.
Always guess beefy. Yeah.
Is it beefy?

Speaker 1 No, I told you it's not beefy. You have a what? It doesn't even

Speaker 1 look at the words. Look at the letters I've got right so far.

Speaker 1 How many of them fit into beefy?

Speaker 1 It's not meaty either. I know you're going to say meaty.

Speaker 1 You get it, Wordle? No. Your dream size.

Speaker 1 Okay, okay. Sliced tomato.
Okay. Really simple.
I'm from the south. It's very like nostalgic for me.
Yeah. It's like really, really nice ripe tomato.
Giant. Yes.

Speaker 1 Cut into thick slices. Salt, pepper, olive oil.
Walk away.

Speaker 1 You're not eating it?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 None of this.

Speaker 1 It is so good. I love tomato.
Yeah. And like people who don't haven't had a good one because like the difference between a rubbish, an everyday rubbish one

Speaker 1 and a proper good one is it's crazy. It's huge.
It's so good. I know.
I don't think I had good tomatoes for like, I know, until I was an adult. Me too.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah. I mean, that's actually, I guess that's not true.
I did have in like, you can, in the south, you know, in the summer.

Speaker 1 get really really good tomatoes but like yeah growing up it was like pink

Speaker 1 the pink like tomatoes in my mind were like the pink tomatoes on like McDonald's hamburgers

Speaker 1 you know just like really watery and yeah like kind of dead yeah and just like they just taste like mealy or something but yeah a proper ass like heirloom tomato with just just salt and oil just salt pepper pepper oil yeah

Speaker 1 and walk away

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm sure you also probably should do some sort of acid.

Speaker 1 Olive oil is that, isn't it? No? Am I wrong there? You shouldn't be hosting the food podcast, man. It's sweetie.
It's fat.

Speaker 1 Olive's fat.

Speaker 1 What are you talking about? Olive oil is acid. Sorry.
Fucking crazy. Stop the podcast.
I'm thinking about... Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's having vinegar. Is that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. But that's not olive oil.
Yeah, I got confused in my head with the two of them.

Speaker 1 They're often together. They're often periodic together.
Yeah, like me and Ed. Yeah.
Oh,

Speaker 1 double-locked. I guess y'all the acid, considering not just all the acid.

Speaker 1 Can we go back to the chicken very quickly? Yes, please. Which bit of the chicken.
What's your first go-to on the chicken? What bit?

Speaker 1 Thigh. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Really? Sorry, I just wanted to answer from the heart. Thigh.
Thigh. Yeah.
Good. Happy.
I'm happy with that answer, I think. Thank you.
Are you white or dark meat?

Speaker 1 I'm going to actually flip it around on y'all.

Speaker 1 I'm leg all the way, so yeah, I guess dark meat would. Right.
So.

Speaker 1 thigh and drumstick basically. But I actually have to say, in terms of a roast chicken,

Speaker 1 like a whole chicken, I'm more drumstick. Okay.
Because there is something less appealing about a thigh when it's attached to the drumstick. Sure.

Speaker 1 But I love, like, when you get chicken parts in isolation from the butcher, I like a thigh. Yes.
Yeah. You know.
But do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 It's kind of like when you've like ripped it off the carcass, you're like...

Speaker 1 See, I love that. You love that.
Yeah. It's medieval.
Yeah, Yeah, yeah. I want that.
And also when

Speaker 1 a whole chicken, I make no distinction between the thigh and the drumstick, really. Leg.
Leg. Just a whole leg.
And everyone knows in my house or wherever I'm going, legs for me. Yeah, that's sweet.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? Everyone knows that? Yeah, big time. Do you not know that? I guess I would assume that.
Yeah, eating it with Ed. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
I would assume he's going to go.

Speaker 1 I have the leg and I have the onion at the ass.

Speaker 1 Of course. Those are the two.
Eat it like an apple. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And suck it out. Don't you mind if you are? Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 what bit of chicken are you? I like the chicken breast, but that's because is that for real?

Speaker 1 Yeah, but that's because, yeah, I know it's boring because I don't like bones and I don't like eating stuff dealing with the bones, I don't like it, so I just yeah, I understand.

Speaker 1 If I'm, you know, if I'm, I know it's the wrong answer, but it's what I go for every time. I thought that's good.
We we could have the we could share a chicken, that's true.

Speaker 1 We could share a chicken, yeah, yeah. How many, how many?

Speaker 1 What's the next?

Speaker 1 Um, no, but I do hope for you through some exposure therapy. Yeah.
Oh, well, yeah,

Speaker 1 good, good. Okay.
But it's just not my, my go-to is like. I see, I see.
I just want the one with no fuss. Yeah, yeah.
I wish it was. But it's not like you're not like grossed out, or are you?

Speaker 1 It would be okay if you were. I'm not grossed out by it.
I'm just like,

Speaker 1 this is a load of pain. It's a pain.
I've got to

Speaker 1 wash some part of myself after this. Yeah.
I don't want to. Yeah, that's true.
I wish they'd remove the skeleton like they do with anchovy.

Speaker 1 I know, and it would be easier. Yeah, so much easier.
Just get a floppy chicken and put that in the oven.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 My niece is like, she's seven, but like for a few years now, she has this like amazing, like primal thing in her where she just like will eat a full, like a turkey leg.

Speaker 1 She will get the meat off of a turkey leg or a chicken leg in a the most, she's just, no one's taught her, I guess. Yeah.
Yeah. And she gets more off the bone than like any of us do.
Amazing.

Speaker 1 She's just like, like,

Speaker 1 and then it's like completely clean. Like a piranha.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 What was like, yeah, I was trying to remember what the animal was. That's great.

Speaker 1 I'd be so proud of my animal.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That is like, that's who you would like to adopt a child like that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or have a child. Huh? Or have one.
Yeah, if I have a child, I'd like them to eat all the chicken off.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but if you have a child, you don't know what the child's going to turn out like. But I think you would go to the adoption place and go

Speaker 1 Here's my non-negotiables.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna throw a chicken leg into this room of children Yeah, and the first one to strip it to the bone is coming home with me. Yeah, yeah, I've never been to Nashville.

Speaker 1 I'm going for the first time next year. Are you doing a show? I am yeah.
I'm very excited. What is where? Off the top of my head, I don't know.
I've left my phone in the other room.

Speaker 1 Benito's googling it though. Back in the day, Benito used to get mistaken for you.
Well, that makes a lot of sense to me. Yeah.
By the way, when you opened the door, I was like,

Speaker 1 brother.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait. At the Tennessee Performing Arts Center? T-PAC.
That T-PAC is where you would go on school field trips. Like, we're going to T-PAC.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and you would see like The Miracle Worker, the play about Helen Keller. Wow.
So that's good. You're going to have a lot of school trips.
Helen Keller's the person who did that chicken.

Speaker 1 What? The chicken you said was helen keller wasn't it no that was that was thomas keller oh my god

Speaker 1 thomas keller yeah helen keller didn't do the chicken man

Speaker 1 that would be so funny if i just started saying that if i if i really believed it

Speaker 1 yeah so i want to get school field trips coming to see me yeah well is is james cap at teapac it is

Speaker 1 it's sold out

Speaker 1 i didn't know it was sold out that's sold out great news i'll post so it really sells out yeah yeah thank you john what if it sold out with one school oh

Speaker 1 these school kids coming to see me

Speaker 1 well that's huge by the way congrats that's that's a gorgeous theater i'm excited about i've been to nashville too i've been already okay did you do a show no no no i was filming something it was many years ago what was it it was a pilot for a show called almost royal actually which you were talking about shutting down uh vimeo's uh paywall we uh we started and ended the bbc america original comedy commissioner's department

Speaker 1 it's good show

Speaker 1 pretty Pretty good.

Speaker 1 We did two seasons of it.

Speaker 1 Two seasons and then they went. Did you watch it in Nashville? No, we did one.
We just did the pilot in Nashville. That's so weird.

Speaker 1 Which was in the first season and then traveled around for the rest of the season. Did you have hot chicken? We didn't actually have hot chicken.
Damn. It is.
I love it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, so do, so does everyone. What's the famous, what's the famous place where it does like all the different levels of spice? Probably Hattie B's or Prince's or something.
Princes is one yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Nando's. Nando's.
I had nando's for the first time actually in vancouver where i was shooting eternity

Speaker 1 and i i called claudia and i was like i had the most amazing like

Speaker 1 like pure pri chicken like with amazing sauces it was kind of like like a i was like it's like a chain and and i was like nando's she was like yeah i didn't realize it's like absolutely huge huge here yeah yeah yeah everywhere yeah but not america no not in america and there are some in australia where claudia's from yeah but they're bad.

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 1 We do it right here.

Speaker 1 I don't know how we've nailed it because

Speaker 1 it's not like English cuisine, but we've seem to have nailed Nando's. And then we go to Australia and go, oh, great.
They've got Nando's here. Yeah.
And then we leave very upset. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 It's not the same. Shit.
It's our fault for not trying new things, though. We shouldn't go to Australia and go, oh, great, the chain we like in England.
Yeah. No?

Speaker 1 I'm just learning there's not any in America, and I don't think I'm going to cancel this tour. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. You can go to Prince's Hot Chicken.
It's not Nando's, is it?

Speaker 1 Maybe I'll send my family to your shirt when it's sold out. Yeah, but I'll still.
When is it? I'll have tickets for my myself that I can give to people.

Speaker 1 What if your family come, but they don't show up on time, James? What do you

Speaker 1 only go? Imagine if they're like walking in. So they come in.
Oh, everybody.

Speaker 1 Look who's here.

Speaker 1 The not so early.

Speaker 1 Dream drink. I'm not done with my sides.
Apologies. I thought we'd walked away.
No, we were. Oh, no, that's just from the tomato itself.

Speaker 1 But you're walking to another side. Yeah, you're exactly sorry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're walking to duck fat potatoes.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, the kind that you parboil them and then you scuff them up. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then you put duck, like duck fat in a sheet pan, get it so hot in the oven.

Speaker 1 put those potatoes on that pan. So they're like sizzling.
And they just, there's, it's crazy. The way duck fat is like kind of sweet, it's like caramel or something.
It's so crazy.

Speaker 1 Anyway, that's on period.

Speaker 1 And you know, you know what else I would put on the duck fat potatoes?

Speaker 1 Chicken salt. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. I still don't really know what chicken salt is.
I don't either. No.
But it is special. Yeah.
I think there's MSG in it. Gotta be.
Yeah. Absolutely gotta be.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 They are very, very, it's very, very nice. But I've only had it on fries.
Yeah. But it's so nice.
And so, yeah, tomatoes, potatoes. I would also do like maybe just a really simple arugula salad.
Nice.

Speaker 1 Lemon, olive oil, salt, pepper. But like really big arugula is the best, like from the farm, not the tiny ones you get at the grocery store.

Speaker 1 How big are the big ones from the farm? Because I think I've only seen the tiny one. I feel like this.
When they're like, when it's like one leaf,

Speaker 1 yeah. Wow.
It's like the shape of arugula, but it's a little more like.

Speaker 1 It's more like free. It's less.
Yeah. Yeah.
yeah

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 that's a delicious size especially with a roast chicken that's

Speaker 1 good i know i'm so excited this

Speaker 1 who did the scuff first on the potatoes because now that's genius it's genius no i know and it is like it is something that has entered my mind because of weird like food obsession like like in on instagram yeah like that is like trendy or something the scuffing the scuff i mean everyone does the scuff now you got to do the scuff to get the crisp i mean the first place i heard about the scuff we've talked about this before, was Michael Kane.

Speaker 1 Really? Of course.

Speaker 1 He did an interview in a newspaper where he said, This is how I do my roast potatoes. And he did the scuff, and this was years ago.
Wow. It's Michael Kane's scuff.
That's crazy.

Speaker 1 And I'm sure someone else did it first, but he knew.

Speaker 1 We got to get Kane on this pod, man, and ask him about the scuff. I know.

Speaker 1 Ask him where he heard about the scuff, you know.

Speaker 1 I bet he'd love that. If you ever do a film with him, you can bring up that the scuff.
I think y'all are more likely to do a film with him than me. No way.
Are you crazy? We're podcasters.

Speaker 1 But you're British.

Speaker 1 He's a nice American film. That's true.
That's true. He loves it.
Yeah. He doesn't do any English films anymore.
I thought he did an English film now,

Speaker 1 and he only does films where he can hit the last shots of the day. We talked to Nick Frost about this, didn't we? My stomach, by the way, this entire time.
I have to do a global past.

Speaker 1 No, we're going to turn it up.

Speaker 1 Okay. It does make a sense of Kane.
It's the more we talk about the food.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Michael Kane. Nick Frost.
Yeah, sorry. Michael Kane makes them order his shots in the day to be like far away and then getting closer and closer in so he can put his normal trousers on and then

Speaker 1 put his normal clothes on. So, yeah, and then the last shot of the day is the close-up.
So he's fully in his own clothes so he can just go home. That's great.
I forgot that. That is so funny.

Speaker 1 It's brilliant. Well, you should do that, John.
I know, I know. Start doing it for just the power.
What's the next film?

Speaker 1 here we go it's called here we go i'm kidding oh

Speaker 1 i don't have do i have one no when you when you did when you did an h sound i thought you were gonna say you're in the harry potter series i was gonna be really

Speaker 1 really gonna laugh

Speaker 1 no

Speaker 1 it really makes me laugh that there are actors who know they're in it and they haven't been announced yet i just it makes me laugh all the time

Speaker 1 we're just thinking about all all the actors who have been casting it already and so they know they're definitely in it yeah it hasn't been announced and they're just sitting around every day going oh

Speaker 1 oh my god that's gonna oh my god

Speaker 1 okay let's let's see how this one goes down because they're announcing this person today let's see if people embrace oh i was worried about this i was worried about this i shouldn't have said this i'm fucking vulnerable i'm vulnerable that's a huge part

Speaker 1 a huge part They're not letting anyone get away with this.

Speaker 1 I just want to get away with it. I hope when we announce my one and everyone knows that I'm in it, I hope that everyone just responds like they did in the old days to Harry Potter.

Speaker 1 And they'll just think it's exciting.

Speaker 1 Is that too much to ask? I thought it'd be exciting. And then if I'm asked about it in the press, why I did it, I'll just go, I didn't know there was.
Yeah. I've never heard of any.

Speaker 1 I'll say, I didn't know there was any controversy. Or I'll say that we don't agree.
Yeah, I don't have a phone. We don't agree, but I can still work with her.

Speaker 1 And then people will go, yeah, Joe Watt, fair enough. Has she been on the part?

Speaker 1 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we don't agree with her, but we're happy for this platform. We've all got different opinions, you know.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 We'll pay her to come on the pod. We know where that money's going.

Speaker 1 Have you made a note to take that out? Don't

Speaker 1 you better. Sometimes he makes little notes.
No, that's a clip. That better be a clip.
That is a clip. You can put that.

Speaker 1 He's really, he's... Longing for clickbait these days because he's trying to get his YouTube channel off the ground.
His. It's ours, James.
It's his. It's our podcast.
I don't give a shit about this.

Speaker 1 It's his YouTube channel. It's his.
It's it's his little project

Speaker 1 his little project his project the youtube thing it's all of ours it's mine too if you think about it congratulations thank you

Speaker 1 welcome to the big time thank you guys

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Speaker 1 See me at mobile.com.

Speaker 1 Your dream drink. I definitely think I would want Coca-Cola.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like an ice-cold Coke.

Speaker 1 And I also think, and okay, this is actually something I struggled with on the way here, and y'all can help me with this. Is like, I do want sparkling water.
I do want Coke, but I also want champagne.

Speaker 1 Yes. And that's insane to have that triple sparkling drink.
That's that's so fizzy it's crazy look at me on the ceiling like charlie bucket

Speaker 1 charlie in the chocolate factory oh oh oh and i played charlie yeah yeah in third grade i played charlie did you

Speaker 1 yeah in my third grade i play

Speaker 1 was it at teapac no it was at my school

Speaker 1 but there were there was like one girl from my school who actually played helen color at tpac that's why i said that by the way um and i was so jealous Yeah. You wanted to play Helen Keller? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I bet you'd have been good at it.
Thank you. And you get to do like crazy.
Have you ever seen The Miracle Worker? No. No.
I've seen clips of it.

Speaker 1 Famous like fight scenes with Annie Sullivan, the teacher, who's trying to tame her.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's the play.
That's not me. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 But yeah,

Speaker 1 it's wild. There's like crazy fight choreography in it.
Like physical fighting? Yeah. Oh, wow.
I've not seen it. She really resisted Helen Keller for a while there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you got to see the play to find out. Yeah, yeah.
Check it out. But you played Charlie Bucket.
That's exciting. That's an exciting part to play.
Well, I have to say, no. Okay.

Speaker 1 Because it's just like, it was too

Speaker 1 sincere or something. It wasn't funny.
Right. And I was like, you want to be Wonka, really, don't you? You want to be Wonka.
I wanted to be Wonka.

Speaker 1 I wanted to be anyone else, honestly. I wanted to be Violet Beauregard.
Oh, of course. Oh, yeah.
Or Varuka Salt. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I wanted to have something to scream and spoil for it. I didn't want to be like, da-da-da-da-da.
Yeah. And I was really kind of paralyzed.
I didn't know what to do. Who was playing Wonka?

Speaker 1 My best friend at the time, Jay. Still friends?

Speaker 1 That ended? That ended there. Yeah.
Yeah, that's a shame. Yeah, all the other kids are more fun to play.
Yeah. Augustus Gloop, Mike TV, Silent Beauregard, Baruga Sol.

Speaker 1 You can really get into those characters. Yeah.
This is an easy thing to say, but if... When we were at school, when we were school age, Gloop, personally, I would have been Gloop.

Speaker 1 This guy's got Mike TV written all over him. Oh, my God.
I'm going to get class anyone else.

Speaker 1 Were you bigger? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Really? And I would have really lent into Gloop. Oh, I want to see.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I can find some.
Beautiful Then, Beautiful Now. Yeah.
Beautiful baby boy. I bet.
I bet y'all were so sweet.

Speaker 1 But we didn't do that. We did a production of Oliver.

Speaker 1 And I played Charlotte the Undertaker's Daughter. Is that true? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I went to an all-boys school and I was,

Speaker 1 you know, I was like, hey yeah i'll play that part guess now ben hates guessing games on this podcast but i'm gonna do it so you got three guesses who played the artful dodger in that same production is a famous person it's a musician you have three guesses okay okay okay um a musician who's british yeah

Speaker 1 i literally can't think of anyone

Speaker 1 a British musician. Well, and you know Mayo.
And you know Mayo. You know Mayo because it's all boys school.
Will you give me a subtle hint?

Speaker 1 Just help me along a little bit. They're in Mumford and Son.

Speaker 1 That guy, Mumford. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, Mumford.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Mumford.

Speaker 1 First case.

Speaker 1 Wow. Yeah, Mark's Dodge.
Do you know

Speaker 1 now? Yeah, in school with him. Yeah, I saw him the other day, actually, but we don't really see a lot of each other.

Speaker 1 No, we ran into each other at, you know, celebrity party. Picking pockets.

Speaker 1 They were picking pockets, as usual. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's funny that people do that, like schools do that show, and then like you have the what's her face, you know, like as long as he needs me. Yeah, Nancy.
And she's like abused, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, and she's killed. She's killed at the end.
Oh, my God. Bill Sykes kills her at the end, and then the police shoot Bill Sykes.
It's awful. Wow.
And also, like, it was a posh school, right?

Speaker 1 So it's like loads of kids dressed up as workhouse children singing food, glorious food. That's really funny.
And they really, like, none of us had an idea of what they were actually singing about.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, of course. Very well, very well-fed boys.
Yeah. And now, and now look at you.
And now look at me. Food podcasts.
food podcast, yeah, it all links back, yeah,

Speaker 1 and also the we've talked about this in the podcast before, so you can cut this button, but I just want John to know. All of the adult roles were played by the teachers.

Speaker 1 That's so funny, and that's crazy. Yeah, give those to the kids, yes, the best roles.
That's crazy. Like, I guess we'll do it.
My maths teacher played Bill Sykes. That's insane, Mr.
Hassan.

Speaker 1 I'll say, keep it in, man, because it's fine.

Speaker 1 Keep it in,

Speaker 1 or else there's going to be this weird. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 You got to keep it in the headmaster was fagan. That's I don't think I did know that.
I don't think that's come up before. The headmaster being fagan.

Speaker 1 Nancy was played by the head dinner lady. Is that true? Yes, that's true.
That's crazy. That one, I support that.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Can you imagine being one of the teachers and being in it?

Speaker 1 And it's like, just, I'm just like thinking about getting ready for the show. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And knowing that you're supposed, like, it's for the kids and you're not supposed to be excited, but actually secretly being so excited. see them to be

Speaker 1 my moment. Yeah, yeah, so embarrassing.
Talking about it at home to your partner. It's what I remember.
Yeah. I'm trying to learn the line.

Speaker 1 That's one kid playing the undertaker's daughter. And he just doesn't.

Speaker 1 Every time I deliver my lines, he just freezes up.

Speaker 1 I smashed it, man. I was brilliant.
I bet you were so. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I think you should have all three of those, Bubba. Okay, thank you.
It's kind of weird, but I don't think it's weird. Okay.

Speaker 1 This is your dream. Thank you.
Thank you. Ice cold champagne.

Speaker 1 A particular champagne? I don't really know anything about champagne, but you know, crisp, dry,

Speaker 1 ice-cold. Yeah.
And real pain for your sham friends. And I, but I don't know.
I don't know if champagne is dry.

Speaker 1 Sorry.

Speaker 1 My favourite thing is when James does a little joke and no one picks up on it.

Speaker 1 And you so quickly moved on.

Speaker 1 A real pain for my sham friends.

Speaker 1 Champagne for your real friends and real pain for your sham friends. That's such a shit shit joke, man.
It's not a joke. It's a saying.

Speaker 1 I think it started as a joke, though. That's really a saying.
I think the saying is supposed to be like, ooh. Well, it's a saying that I just know it as a saying that people say.

Speaker 1 They say, champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. I'm asking you.

Speaker 1 If you would like real pain for your sham friends. Jay, if you're listening.
Would you like real pain for your sham friends? So the choice is

Speaker 1 you're choosing between giving your real friends, you're falling asleep, you're choosing between

Speaker 1 a reward, a gift for your real friends, or hurting people. No, you do both.
I'm saying,

Speaker 1 are you going to give people like Claudia champagne because she's your real friend? Yeah. And people like Jay Willie Wonka.
Real pain. Real pain because he's your sham friend.
Just like

Speaker 1 physical pain.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's real.
Yeah, it could be

Speaker 1 however you interpret it, I guess. Physical pain or emotional pain.

Speaker 1 I'm giving champagne to my real friends. Yeah.
Yeah. And yeah.
And real pain to your sham friend.

Speaker 1 No, I'm making a choice.

Speaker 1 I'm just.

Speaker 1 You've offered a choice, James.

Speaker 1 I'm saying I'll do both. I'll give like champagne to Ed, my real friend.
Yeah, sweet. And real pain to Benito.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like it gets put through an industrial fresher or something.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 What sort of glass do you want the champagne in? A real glass?

Speaker 1 Not a flute.

Speaker 1 not a flute no i just don't i'm not at a wedding you know that being said i don't know the alternative um one of the more bowl like ones yeah maybe just like actually yes just like a wine glass

Speaker 1 I hate all the different glasses. Like, why can't we just have it all in a tumbler in just a normal glass? Like, that is...
I love drinking out of a normal glass. Okay.

Speaker 1 I have to laugh because there's a huge reason, actually.

Speaker 1 You know for something like champagne you have to have the stem so that your hand isn't warming it up I can't believe I have to tell you that

Speaker 1 You're the one with the food podcast He thinks olive oil is acid if you're a murder

Speaker 1 of olive oil

Speaker 1 Well a hand can't warm that up also the shapes of wine glasses are important

Speaker 1 Because some of them have like a wide base

Speaker 1 wide base to aerate and you can get some movement in there but also then a sort of narrow top sometimes to funnel the sort of aroma and stuff upwards towards the nose but and keep it within the glass as well no one's ever done that can you believe they can make this is similar to like anchovy stuff can you believe they can make glass so thin it's mad isn't it it's crazy we take we take all that shit for granted when

Speaker 1 It is really thin though, like super, super thin. Yeah.
All night I'm resisting biting it. Biting it, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's so funny. All night, I'm resisting just going to.
I forgot about that, of course.

Speaker 1 Because you think it's going to taste like sugar a little bit.

Speaker 1 It just seems so tempting. Not even the way it's going to taste.
Just like texturally. It seems so close to breaking.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 That I'm like, I'm just like, don't fucking buy it. You must have worked with sugar glass before.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. That must be crazy cool.

Speaker 1 That must be a doctor.

Speaker 1 Look at one of my that must be a good day on set it is

Speaker 1 it is in search party did you have to smash some stuff up because that show went wild right there was that did go wild i had my hair fall out i had a rash over my body i shit in my pants

Speaker 1 i got to do such fun stuff but i don't think i ever did that

Speaker 1 Your dream dessert. Here we are.
Okay. The best one.
Well, I might need y'all's help. Yeah.
Happening. Happen.
Because I feel like this is actually very British.

Speaker 1 Like bread pudding. Oh, yeah.
Great. Right? Is that really British? It feels British.
Yeah. Like, because

Speaker 1 it would almost be too on the nose to come in and say sticky toffee pudding. But it's actually texturally not what I want.
I want. bread pudding.
I want the little occasional moments of like crisp.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Crispy top. Yeah.
The little crust. It must be almost like caramelized sort of on the top as well.
Yes. Because that's why I get confused because I want the caramelization,

Speaker 1 but I don't necessarily but I don't

Speaker 1 necessarily want like butterscotch. So I mean, I love butterscotch.
I guess I'm struggling. It's like I want the flavors of sticky toffee pudding, but I want the kind of

Speaker 1 all the chunks of the bread pudding. Yeah, yeah.
So maybe there's some sort of combination we could do. Because you get bread pudding in the States, right?

Speaker 1 But yeah, but you would call it bread pudding. Here we would call it bread and butter pudding, I think.
We do call it that. We call it bread pudding as well.

Speaker 1 It's two different things, actually, isn't it? It depends on the thing. Really? But I think bread and butter pudding is more common here.
What is bread and butter pudding? It's pretty much the same.

Speaker 1 And they're more of like a custard

Speaker 1 sort of in it. Yeah.
It feels more custardy. Yes.
Might be some raisins in there. I love that.

Speaker 1 I love bread pudding with raisins in it. Yeah.
And then an ice cream. Yeah.
Well, it depends. It's your dream.
I think you

Speaker 1 needed to hear that. Only finger this.
As women, we often don't. You know,

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 I would do ice cream, really hot bread pudding, obviously, fresh out of the oven. Ice cream, you're putting it on, it's slightly melting.

Speaker 1 There's a place near me that does deep-fried bread and butter pudding with cold custard. What do you think about that? Deep-fried? Like, as in, like, in a...

Speaker 1 They do, but they all. But it's not like crazy.
Like, it's...

Speaker 1 Are they putting some sort of crust around it, like, or batters? No. Okay, well, okay, good.
So it is like just a very crispy on the outside. I bet it's so good.
It is so good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You look really horrified. You did look horrified.
I know because you know what I was, you know why?

Speaker 1 It's because when people do like deep-fried Oreos or something and there's like a batter around it and then they're from the south. I know.

Speaker 1 I know. I know.

Speaker 1 You know, when I went,

Speaker 1 chicken fried steak.

Speaker 1 I saw that on menus a lot. It's so crazy.
And then I saw something called chicken fried chicken, which didn't make sense to me at all. They're being cute.
They're being cute. Okay.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But they prepare the chicken like it's a steak and then fry it like it's chicken.

Speaker 1 Wait. How did...
Okay, so they're... So chicken-fried steak is like steak, but with-steak that's like pounded out like schnitzel.
Pounded out and then like battered and deep-fried. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But then I guess chicken-fried chicken is like pounding out the chicken like you're preparing it like it's chicken-fried steak, but then frying it like it's chicken.

Speaker 1 Isn't that just back around to being schnitzel again? I think it is. Yeah, it feels like it.
Yeah. But they call it chicken-fried chicken.
You had that in America. No, I just saw it on a menu.
Oh.

Speaker 1 and you never forgot it. Never forgot it.
Think about it every day. That's crazy.
That's crazy. Bread pudding.

Speaker 1 But a bit caramelly

Speaker 1 with some ice cream. But caramelly, like, I don't like, I guess I don't know enough about it.
It's like you're achieving a caramelly flavor,

Speaker 1 but not from pouring a caramel sauce on it.

Speaker 1 I guess it's like a sugar top, right? That then sort of caramels

Speaker 1 in the oven. But, you know, this is your dream.
Maybe you put a tiny little jug of butterscotch sauce on the side for you and then you can just

Speaker 1 dip an ad. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. And you want medicines in there as well.
And well, now I'm confused. Oh, no, man.

Speaker 1 This is where we like to get guests to.

Speaker 1 A state of total confusion. Confusion.
Just tired.

Speaker 1 You've really been through it. You never want to eat food again.
You will hate all these foods now. You're not going to be able to do it.
No, that's not true. I could never.

Speaker 1 Do you think my meal is good? Well, let's see. I'm going to lead it back to you now.

Speaker 1 Stop!

Speaker 1 Stop it!

Speaker 1 You would like sparkling water. Let me see.
No, that's magic. That's genie magic.

Speaker 1 You would like homemade sourdough.

Speaker 1 You would like your own homemade crostini with butter, anchovy, shallot, parsley, lemon juice, and parmesan. Main course you would like.
What is this a trick?

Speaker 1 The Thomas Keller roast chicken with aioli and chimichurri and a wedge of lemon. Side dish, a sliced tomato with salt, pepper, and olive oil.
Duck fat potatoes with chicken salt. Is it really?

Speaker 1 A rougher salad. Egg from the bar.

Speaker 1 don't know the drink.

Speaker 1 John's son.

Speaker 1 I thought it was Pete Brown.

Speaker 1 It would be good if it was. But Eo is a magician.
He could have done that. But he knows how to do that trick.
That is so funny, man.

Speaker 1 That's the most amazing thing. That is the most that anyone's ever been.

Speaker 1 Like, I have to see that. I can't.

Speaker 1 I can't not know how it happened.

Speaker 1 No one's ever grabbed it.

Speaker 1 No one's ever grabbed it. No one's ever been like, no, stop talking.
I have to know how this is being done.

Speaker 1 Have you ever been to the Magic Castle? You get kicked out in seconds. I actually was like, you are such a good performer.
Yeah. And that you are remembering.
I'm memorizing.

Speaker 1 And you're like really committing to staring, looking down with your eyes.

Speaker 1 I was really impressed. That would be good.

Speaker 1 Mega Doctor. Y'all really got me.

Speaker 1 This is crazy. Do people know it's an iPad? No, they don't know.
Oh, I'm sorry. No, but we don't know.
Oh, no. I know

Speaker 1 they can know.

Speaker 1 That's fine. But I thought you meant guests.
We love that you were so into it and so wowed by it. A lot of guests just don't get a lot of guests.
You don't want to ruin it for your listeners.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah. No,

Speaker 1 I've ruined it on other episodes before by going, oh, he's typed this in wrong. He's still typing it now.
No, but like, yeah, it's fine. Also, when we do the show live, that's how we do it.
It's

Speaker 1 yeah, and then James once logged into the wrong thing and ended up playing a Lewis Capaldi video. So they know.
Yeah, yeah. They know.

Speaker 1 And you want ice-cold Coca-Cola and Did you give potatoes, tomatoes? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 That was what you were grabbing.

Speaker 1 You were losing your mind during that. So you won't remember any of that.

Speaker 1 A really dry champagne as well. And for dessert, like a sticky toffee, butterscotch flavoured bread and butter pudding with cold ice cream with some raisins.
Yeah. Yeah.
Feel good?

Speaker 1 I still feel a little confused about my own dessert, but like that's not, that's, that's that's my fault it's not y'all i think it is a great menu of thank you and you know you know what it says to me quality and simplicity thank you i'm actually proud of the simplicity yeah that the anchovy thing wait you guys oh my god i literally skipped the most important thing i'm just gonna say it really fast

Speaker 1 i this is crazy the martha stewart mac and cheese oh so i know you're thinking bread pudding and mac and cheese

Speaker 1 what like this is so but the Martha Stewart mac and cheese is unbelievable. Add it to the oi pud.
Yeah, yeah. And then, cause, and, and so, and whatever, there's fresh grated nutmeg in it.

Speaker 1 You're using really quality cheeses for the bechamel. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And on top, you do these croutons, whatever. I made it.
I used

Speaker 1 Japanese milk bread

Speaker 1 for the croutons, and it was out of this world. And that is like literally to me, the most important part of the whole meal.
And I can't believe I left it out. Wow.

Speaker 1 Well, no, that's good because we're ending on it. So this will be the memory that most people will have is the Martha Stewart mac and cheese.
Yes. And you can look up the recipe.

Speaker 1 I really hope people watch this one. If you're listening, I hope you go and watch it because it's a lot throwing to the camera.
John's been doing a lot of good stuff down the fan.

Speaker 1 A lot of good facial stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you so much, John. Thank you, guys.
It was so fun.

Speaker 1 Well, there we are, James. That was a lot of fun.
Fantastic. Thank Thank you so much, John.
Thank you, John. That was so much fun.
And I would say, if you've listened to this, go and watch it as well.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 watch it on YouTube. This episode.
John is so funny.

Speaker 1 Like so many faces that were making me laugh. Yeah.
Like, I just would laugh so much at John's facial expressions. Right down the camera as well.
Real good stuff. Yeah, really good.

Speaker 1 And John didn't say oat milk. So we can tell you that eternity will be in cinemas from December the 5th.
Yes, it will be.

Speaker 1 Probably would have told you that anyway, anyway, but like, yeah, meant we didn't have to kick John out of the dream rest drum. Yeah, which was good.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Although I nearly kicked him out for grabbing my iPad. He grabbed the iPad at the end.
I mean, hopefully, go and watch that as well. That was amazing.

Speaker 1 He was so frustrated that he didn't know how it was done. He was like,

Speaker 1 I really did feel like a magician. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was like, I'm blowing his mind. And because you've got a smart jacket on today, that's probably why he thought it was magic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 So I'm dressed smarter than usual. Yeah.
Like, this must be

Speaker 1 a magician. This guy's a this guy's a dapper, a dapper trickster.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
A dapper trickster.

Speaker 1 Don't forget to check out the Patreon for Flicking the Bean with Edwin Coffey and the Great Unbox Ito. Yep.
Get on that. You can watch both of those.

Speaker 1 And that was the last episode of the series, James. It was.

Speaker 1 So au revoir to series 14. Yes.
But Bian Venue to

Speaker 1 series, I guess, 15. Christmas specials first.
Which is coming up. And there are two incredible Christmas specials with guests that it blows my mind.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 two great guests and two great guests you never hear about together. Yeah, that's the only clue you're getting.
Yeah, you would never hear about these people together.

Speaker 1 And they're not together because they're separate episodes. But and they'll be best ofs as well, James.
The only episodes you need to listen to every year.

Speaker 1 That's for you when you're cleaning your house. Yes.
Thank you very much for listening to this series. We will see you at Christmas time.
Bye-bye. Goodbye.

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