PTFO Smell Test: Celebrity & Athlete Fragrances, (Blindly) Reviewed

Welcome to Pablo Torre Finds Out.

I am Pablo Torre, and today we're going to find out what this sound is.

It's fruity in the back.

You get that like apple.

Why do you say it?

It's fruity in the back.

Fruity in the back.

It is.

Guys, grow up.

It's fruity in the back.

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Now, when we did the drinking-based podcast, we had a drinks expert.

Do you smell for a living?

No.

Okay.

Well, I don't know about cologne.

Well, I know about Jeremy Fragrance.

That's not true.

Lawrence is underselling his credentials.

I'm a men's lifestyle expert.

Oh, my God.

Are you familiar with men or lifestyle?

Both vaguely.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that's what you're.

It's my whole life.

It's men and lifestyle.

Wow.

I have a podcast that talks about that kind of stuff.

Lawrence is doing

a broadcast.

Growing Fits is one of my favorite non-sports podcasts.

I feel like I've heard of this podcast.

It's a nice little meme account on Instagram.

For me, is it?

It's not a girl.

I think there's like, we have a 1% women listenership.

Yeah.

I mean,

same working at sports.

Congrats on your podcast announcements.

Thank you.

I mean, the number five podcast on the sports Apple chart, it's just because it's based on new subscribers.

We don't even have an episode.

It doesn't matter.

Don't even have an episode yet.

Are we wrong on various episodes?

One last thing before we start, you guys.

The Invisalign's done.

Oh, my God.

Look at that.

Katie's hot.

I'm unapproachable.

I'm now unapproachable.

Please don't approach me.

I'm too hot to talk to you.

This is the third episode in a trilogy that I want to catch Lawrence up on.

Please do.

Katie and I have tested athlete alcohol, and we declared what sucked in your memory.

Oh, I think

it was

tequila.

She was terrible.

So bad.

Did you have the LeBron Henney?

No, we had LeBron tequila.

The Lobos, right?

We were eventually very drunk.

You got fish.

You got very drunk.

You got pretty drunk, yeah.

Yeah.

Charles Woodson's, we didn't like.

It was basically as much athlete alcohol as we could get.

Yeah.

CJ McCollum's wine was pretty good.

Yeah, I think it was.

I think vaguely that I remember that it was.

I don't, it was one of the first things we drank.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

So we'll have to go to the tape.

It feels like it's enveloping my tongue.

Does that make sense?

It is.

I feel it on like all sides of my tongue.

This is good stuff.

Relatedly, Katie Nolan hasn't dumped any of the wine that she's been tasting.

Cheese.

Not a b ⁇ .

When I puked it all up, I didn't even taste that.

Yep, yep, yep, yep.

That was part one.

Yeah.

Part two was athlete weed.

Right.

With my fiancé, Dan Soder, who is a weed expert.

Yeah.

Very funny man.

All right, thank you.

I'll let him know.

And thank you.

I made him this way.

Thank you for bringing all this great.

How much of it stays, would you say?

Because you don't want to get caught carrying this much.

You could get in some real trouble.

Our typical dealer comes over, smokes some of it eats some of your food plays your video don't leave this is a story records everything you do and publishes on as a podcast guy's probably wearing a wire

gary payton yeah was the best which we i mean that we knew smoking that glove pack dude

and dan cannot smell has no sense of smell was very upset today when i was leaving physically cannot smell

pablo i said hi covet knocked it out completely so now it's like gone but he also insists his taste is untouched and I'm like how does that work not possible right what I know is that I trust his agency on his own senses and he tells me he can't smell so he's not here today useless and so I was like who in the world can fill this third chair and I said okay who uh hosts a show that I love thank you

check who was able to convince me using the word uh master perfumer oh yeah yeah that uh he has some knowledge of cologne perfumier i don't know

you You did say that in the kitchen.

Is that a word?

Perfumier?

I don't know.

He was referencing a guy.

What was the guy?

You do know.

His name is Rodrigo.

I don't know his last name.

You met a perfumier named Rodrigo, and I was like, that's plenty.

What else could a man named Rodrigo do for a living?

That's the nose-nose.

Got a smell.

I believe you also said a quote in a text.

I know what I like and have gotten a lot of expensive shit for free.

Yes.

Okay.

That is a fact.

100%.

All right.

Katie, what do you know about cologne?

Nothing.

Yeah.

Don't wear it.

I don't wear perfume.

I guess girl cologne.

Cologne for girls.

But then again, like, I get, I'm, I, the man, the object of my affection can't smell.

So what am I wasting my time smelling all nice for?

Just farting with impunity.

Yeah, exactly.

But I think I, like, know if I like the way something smells.

Yeah.

I'm not afraid to say it.

So we have

in this corner of the room 11 different

athletes slash celebrity.

colognes slash perfumes.

They've created a whole system.

We're going to blind smell this.

Okay.

Can we not call it?

Fragrances is what I'm being told in my ear by Rob, who collected all of this stuff.

Not to a denigrate.

Are we doing it like they do at a counter where they spray it on a little thing and then they waft it in front of your nose?

You will see.

We have testers pre-sprayed.

Great.

Each individually bagged.

And we have reveals in which we will find out what it was on plastic.

Some notes, literal and fingers.

The notes of plastic.

Yeah, I wonder if this is how, like, this is not an official method.

Doesn't feel it.

Okay, I'm being told to defend the method.

There's a whole method.

Sorry, boys.

Long before the athlete weed strain and celebrity tequila brands, famous people were selling vanity fragrances.

And so I figured with about a month before Valentine's Day that we might do everybody out there a service.

So if you're listening to this instead of watching it on YouTube, what you should know about our method here is that Katie Nolan, Laurence Schlossman, and I are going into this whole exercise completely blind.

That means we're going to start by taking these pre-sprayed paper strips of the vanity fragrance in question out of a Ziploc bag, at which point we will give our unbiased review of it using only our sense of smell.

And we're not going to find out which celebrity it even is until the end of that segment when we open a sealed paper bag to reveal the bottle our producers bought for us inside.

But if you are in fact watching this on YouTube or the DraftKings Network, our producers are also going to try something a little bit different for you.

Because they are going to show you the celebrity behind each fragrance early and completely silently, just on screen, while we're doing our smell test, so you can know and see how powerful or not our noses are before we do.

This is apparently the experience our producers had while watching us tape this episode.

And this episode, by the way, will keep escalating as we get deeper and deeper into this list of 11 mystery fragrances about which we know absolutely nothing.

And that is for better and also, spoiler alert, for worse.

We begin with fragrance number one.

Oh, this smells like my dad, 36.

This is bright.

Sorry?

Bright.

Okay.

Meaning it like perks you up almost?

No, just fresh, bright.

It smells like dad.

It smells like aftershave, dad.

Smells like a bunch of dads rolling around in a field.

Smells like dad camp.

Get a little barbershop.

Okay.

It smells like suppressed emotional accessibility.

But it does.

Unrequited love and affection.

But there is like an aftershave aspect to this.

This smells like

a family function that I have to go to and give a lot of hugs at when I'm in.

Hugs with men?

Yes.

Does it smell expensive to you?

Honestly, kind of.

A little bit.

A little because it has this like, here we go.

New money.

New money.

It has this like depth in the back end of it.

Oh, wow.

It like dips down in a way that you're like, oh, there's.

It's dipping.

There's more to this.

Yeah.

There's more to this than meets the eye, nose,

ear, or throat.

Yeah, that's

nice.

It's nice.

I came in expecting like, I'm going to s ⁇ all over this.

And then I'm like, ah, this feels like kind of like the man that I once imagined I would be one day.

Is it time to reveal?

Should we put these back in the one bag?

Lock them up.

Or do we need to keep them for content?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Put them in the bag so that we can isolate them.

Oh, let's get some ASMR there, Pablo.

It's like lunch.

This is, and I don't know the answer to this either until right now.

Michael Jordan's column.

Did not do

dead dad.

Vapodis.

Did you say it smelled like dead dad?

No, we're talking about like male relatives.

I said unrequited love and affection.

Oh, wow.

I mean, murdered father.

Smells like longing.

Hold on.

Listen, guy sucks at tequila, but

look at this packaging here.

Look at this.

Yeah,

hold that.

Describe it for the bad.

There's a debossed basketball in the glass.

Yeah, that you could put your thumb in.

That's actually quite nice.

I would definitely be holding it that way while spraying it.

It has a flask aspect.

This might pair well with like cigar smoke and

beer pong and rumor.

Taking things personally.

Gambling debt.

Yeah.

Michael Jordan by Michael Jordan is

an aromatic fragrance for men.

So we nailed that.

The nose behind this fragrance is Steve DeMercado.

That I believe is a term of art for the nose.

Perfume.

For the perfumier.

Top notes are cypress,

grapefruit, lemon, cognac,

geranium, cedar needles, Brazilian rosewood.

CD-Needy.

That's fun to say.

Middle notes, fir, juniper berries.

Fir, lavender,

F-IR.

Like that.

No, I would lose my mind and what I was like, all right.

Bear.

Pelt.

Incense, green tea, clary, sage, and cloves.

Base notes are sandalwood, musk, and patchouli.

That's all I smell.

I'm learning.

All I get are the base notes because the musk.

I got some of that bright shit up top, though.

I can see that.

That citrus.

I know no one said that, but I kind of.

I think he did.

Did you describe what top, middle, and absolutely not?

But I will describe that for you now.

Thanks.

Because a top note, according to the increasingly terrible AI overview on Google.

Is when you eat raw.

I love that because I did.

I'm so lazy.

I love that AI overview.

It's so much worse.

It's not right.

It's so much worse.

Nothing I say is right anyway.

Top notes.

The first scents you smell when you apply a fragrance, also known as head notes or opening notes.

They're the most volatile of the three fragrance notes and are made up of small light molecules that evaporate quickly.

Top notes, usually composed of citrus and fruity ingredients, but can also include fresh herbs.

Some light top.

That is a fragrance that costs, what do you think?

$55.

$500.

Oh, freaking pricey.

It's $21.36.

What a deal.

It's so cheap.

It smells like a brand new

athlete in all time.

Good.

I don't, that smelled awful.

Honestly, though, once you know it's a $20 cologne, it smells like shit.

It smells like shit.

Does the silhouette of his bald head,

unmistakably his bald head

embossed and also like some red foil?

Does that do anything for you?

That's cheap.

That's like you buy this out of groceries.

That sounded cheap.

Zakrogus cologne.

Damn.

Now, I'm told that between these scents, we should be

palate cleansing by sniffing some coffee or your elbow.

Is this like Maxwell House?

And we confirm that this is an old wives' tale, right?

I'm being told to remind you guys that we have no idea if this actually works, but they also advise you to smell yourself is that what you were doing just then i thought you were like sneezing in a weird way they say smell your own elbow

number two yeah number two

oh this one smells very different this hit very different

is this sprayed one second ago these are sprayed two hours ago for the record it's very sweet by our lab full of scientists aquatic

Definitely sweeter.

Katie's right.

Yeah.

So it might be, is that mean it's perfume, do you think?

Maybe.

This is striking me as much more feminine.

Yes.

Than MJ's Musk.

Right, right, right.

You wear this to your quinceanera.

This is, that's what I'm getting 100%.

This is a sweet treat.

This is like I'm reading a red book magazine and one of the pages is stuck together because of a perfume ad and I peel it off and it rips it open and I'm like, ooh.

Yeah, this is...

like a magazine where the pages are stuck together for different reasons.

Okay.

All right, Pablo.

Shout out Victoria's Secret.

It almost smells like a perfume that is by a celebrity that I know of, but I don't think it's that.

Like a Jessica Simpson Walmart.

Yeah.

Sweet.

I said sweet.

You said sweet.

You just said it loud.

There aren't a lot of base notes to this is what I would say.

This is like the antithesis of patchouli.

This is not a barbershop.

This is it's florally, but like not really.

It's like lightly, it's almost like a guard gardenia.

Like sophomore semi-formal.

Like this is the scent that sticks in my mind years later when I'm trying to remember in my personal

memory bank.

Sense memory.

That's right.

It's a perfume.

This is feminine.

This is distinctly feminine.

Whereas I felt the first was distinctly masculine.

I agree.

All right.

So I think we're on the same page.

This is a perfume.

So let's find out.

All right.

This should be interesting.

We're judging a cologne by its cover.

Whoa.

Ooh.

Excuse me.

Boys?

There are no words on this.

Can you you describe this?

This may be for boys.

It's green.

This is Seahawks perfume.

The color of the liquid is green, unless that's the glass.

Nope, it's the liquid.

It is mountain dew colored.

And the...

It is ecto-cooler.

That's right.

It looks delicious.

This is for boys.

This is a product known as Avon Untouchable.

Okay.

By Chris Paul.

Wow.

I do regret my previous description.

How much do you think this costs?

Why is there no branding?

Also, good question.

Did this drop when he was on the Pelicans?

What is happening here?

Right.

It's so crooked, too.

It's like every part of it is leaving.

Sit right.

It sits.

And then also this.

So it's like if you're going to do that, then at least make that flush with the.

I don't know, man.

I hate it.

$12.

Oh, okay.

What did you guys pay?

You guys paid $1,537.

Probably $70.

We paid $28.99.

Wow.

And you got fleeced.

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All right, gals, here we go.

These are wet.

These are all wet.

I don't know where to touch these because they're all wet.

Ooh, that's now that's different.

This is very different.

This is very different.

We are redefining the spectrum of femininity, I dare say.

That is a scented marker from

elementary school.

You get high off this.

If you get too close to the blue or purple marker, I'm going to briefly huff the Ziploc bag as you would.

Yeah.

I got to be careful.

I got an addictive personality, dude.

Lawrence is going to take the Ziploc bags.

Next week, you just on Galaxy.

It's like a color marker.

I love that because I'm getting like more.

I think it's like the, almost like maybe the brown.

Remember the the brown one was always like what is this i'm not like a fan could you picture it on someone because to me even though it's making me think of a marker if i'm picturing it on someone it's a very older this is your great aunt a very older woman the person who wears this fragrance has a padded toilet seat and a small dog i love a padded toilet seat i hate it like not to have and obviously the bacteria of it but remember how nice it was when you had sleep no it's the worst it's like into a pillow yeah which

kind of nice not here to yuck your yum if this is a cologne, I'll eat my hat.

I am getting the sense, though, why people are into galaxy gas, though, which I have discovered as a team among kids and possibly adults.

I've heard it's good, allegedly.

Don't use it, it puts holes in your brain, okay?

You're gonna whip it?

No, because it puts holes in your brain.

Remember when we visited?

Uh, we can bleep this institution out, yes, yes, and then they moved a pillow and a billion carton shell casings, shell casings of um, of little CO2 carton.

Katie and I went to a party because someone else brought us to this.

Mina.

Mina.

There you go.

And the floor

was like a shooting range

where they were just like

gatling gunning.

I was like, you're our future.

You're our brightest.

You're our best and our brightest.

So this is galaxy gas for your great aunt.

Which is probably prescribed by the girl.

Do not like.

Do not like.

Back in the bag it goes.

Someone is wearing this.

I am not into this.

No pun intended.

All right.

Let's see what it is.

Katie Nolan.

No, it's not Britney spears no it's not britney spears that's not curious i've worn curious

you thought i thought why is it in the full box you guys no am i thinking of a different britney spears fragrance so apparently how many are there there are two different types of britney spears fragrances curious and curious love whoa wait is the curious love in a pink round bottle with little green dots on it it is that's the one i so they're both inquisitive fragrances but one is romance driven this is

i love

Katie wore a version of this perfume.

I loved Britney Spears.

I love Britney Spears.

The Curious Woman, and this is capital C, the Curious Woman is romantic, check, independent, check, mischievous.

You talk about me?

Katie does not change.

A romantic?

Romantic, independent, and mischievous.

Okay.

One who's not afraid of risk.

This is such a small bottle.

Like, you're getting so little actual product.

I wonder what the price then, the damage on this for getting so little seemingly.

I would say this is

40 bucks.

Best bottle though.

45 bucks.

Best bottle.

A genie bottle, but it's which, you know, Christina Guinolair, but it's very like angular on the ends.

It's like almost like a clamshell.

It's blue, like blue.

30 milliliters.

30 milliliters, tiny little guys.

Could this be like a diamond?

Maybe.

It kind of does look like a cartoon diamond.

All right.

Well, this is definitely a Walmart thing.

So I'm going to go

15.

This is definitely a Walmart thing.

What do you mean by that?

Because Because Britney Spears has to deal with Walmart.

Launched in 04.

It became an instant hit with the public.

The composition is based on the notes of white flowers, surrounded with vanilla and musk nuances.

It opens with fresh lotus, mouth-watering pear and magnolia, the intensive floral heart.

Pears there for sure.

The intensive floral heart.

Like me.

It's composed of tuberose, tuberose,

jasmine, and pink cyclamin.

Cyclamin?

Those are my three favorite Disney princesses.

That's what the

wise men brought in Britney Spears.

Frankincense and pink psilocybin.

The sensual base is composed of musk, vanilla, and precious woods.

Sensual base.

Precious woods.

Yeah, that's a lot, Britt.

It is the kind of scent that

makes your parents want to control your finances.

Oh, I was going to say get divorced.

Katie,

Laurence said $15.

I'm going to say

$30.

Britney Spears,

Curious.

$16.74.

Wow.

Wow.

This man knows what Real America wants to smell.

Finger on the scent pulse.

Yeah, dude.

I know they want lotus flower for 16 bones.

Precious wood.

Number four.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wow.

You guys spray these and put them right in the bag.

Holy shit.

Oh, my God.

Whoa.

Yo, dude.

You are waiting online to get in the club.

This is.

Oh, my God.

You are talking to me about something I don't care about.

This is gasoline.

Oh my god, you won't shut up.

I just got roofied by this fragrance.

Oh my god,

crypto?

This smells like

crypto.

Oh my god.

It's tough to put near your nose.

He still owns NFTs.

Like this is so bad.

This guy had cut one of those apes.

This fragrance owns multiple board apes.

Says diamond hands unironically.

This is a rough one.

It's really alcohol-y.

I might have to tap out.

That's really, really heinous.

That's not good.

Yeah, you hate to see this fragrance at a college reunion.

It's just too much.

It's too much.

It's I want to say European, but that might be too

derogatory.

It's a coked-up business pitch.

It's a like, dude, I think

we should.

I think we should talk about investments.

I cannot wait to find out what this is.

I know.

I hope it's like,

oh, I just hope it's an athlete I don't like.

Yes, CR7, dude.

Cristiano Ronaldo popping out of this paper bag could not have been more perfect.

You're missing the operative word, origins.

Origins?

Holy please describe what the packaging this is like.

I'm so happy right now.

Our nose is just you would think that he would just go shirtless, right?

But he's wearing a shirt completely unbuttoned with the kind of come hither look that an absolute moron is going to snatch right off the shelf.

This is

at the top where you push where you inflict damage upon says CR7, but it kind of looks like it says cry.

And I love that.

Oh my God, that's fing brutal.

That is fragrance imitating fing life.

This is a new fragrance.

CR7 Origins was launched in 2022.

Top notes are bay leaf, mandarin orange.

Bay leaf.

What is this, a soup?

Send this perfume yet to the Hague, dude.

This is terrible.

Middle notes are Clary Sage, Lavender, and Geranium.

Base notes are patchouli and ass.

Dog.

And cheeks.

Spread cheeks.

How much?

What are you guys saying?

I said $50.

Yeah.

I said $68.

$68.

$25.

Thank you, God.

Thank God.

Thank God.

Okay, Cristiano.

You win this time.

Oh, get it out.

Oh, no.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Container.

Where's the bag?

Container.

Where's the bag?

I don't know.

We have a breach.

It breached.

Oh, God.

How do you get it off our fingers?

Oh, my God.

It is on my fingers.

It lingers.

Oh, don't smell my finger.

Number five.

Oh, it's cinnamon.

Oh, it's spice.

Oh.

Oh, it's all spice.

It's

old spice.

It's...

It's pungent.

Five spice.

It is like in your spice cabinet or rack where all the spices have been and they all kind of voltron to be, you know, it's like every all spices.

Yeah, this is the bottom of your grinder if you smoked spices.

Oh, it's settling in at a certain point.

The spiciness begins to wear a suit.

I'm kind of with it now.

Okay, but then on the back, it's like sweet and almost floral.

In the back, it's like yeah, this back.

There's a lot going on.

Baby got it.

It settles in tenderly.

Yes.

Yes, it holds you nicely.

We've been on a run of three straight ass

frequencies.

This is gross.

This is nice.

This smells expensive.

Yeah.

This feels like a chance that you're taking, you're going out and you're like, I'm going to try to be this guy.

And I'm kind of intrigued by what this guy's life is like.

Yeah, maybe some type of performative accessory, you know, a new hat.

Try a hat, but you might take it off halfway through because you're crushing

under the weight of it.

This is the new hat.

Ordering a drink that you never order because you're like, this kind of feels right tonight this is cristiano ronaldo's friend who in comparison oh is the guy you want to spend the

your your night out with this is cristiano ronaldo with his shirt buttoned up yeah just norm just being normal i think i quite like it i reserve the right to say i hate it once i see whose it is very good

Let's find out.

I'll put it in the bag because we cannot have another girl.

It's Robert Downey Jr.

as Sherlock Holmes in the Guy Richie movies.

I do think that's nice.

Guys, no.

no, let's go.

What is it?

Yes.

Beckham.

You said that.

We nailed it.

I think so too.

Nailed it.

You know, no, David Beckham nailed it.

Yeah.

That's a really good fragrance, David.

I quite like that.

Instinct.

Spice.

What did the first thing I said when I smelled it a bunch?

Spice.

Rewind the tape.

Posh spice, I said.

Wow.

This is posh spice.

And it is a posh smelling.

Oh my god, I do love this.

Should we take a look at the bottle?

Are you really good at this?

Do you think we should do this for our living?

I'm canceling my podcast and I'm starting.

I mean, that just looks like cologne.

Right.

That was like a possibility.

But even the box, a classy box.

A classy box.

The posh box.

This is.

Many are saying this.

This is like his version of Tom Ford cologne branding, almost like

even nicer in the bottle, if I may say.

Oh, yeah.

Notes.

We're back to the vetiver.

Bergamot or bergamot?

I think it's bergamot, but don't quote me.

Which is like a yellow fruit and orange, some are saying.

Amandarin Orange is another one.

Star Anise.

Pimento.

Okay.

Patchouli.

Yeah.

Cardamom.

Cardamom.

White amber.

I think we're missing the biggest thing.

The juxtaposition between David Beckham and Cristiano Ronaldo comes down to having taste or no taste.

This is a tasteful guy.

Yeah.

It's a tasteful fragrance.

True.

Yeah.

Cristiano Ronaldo, no taste,

gasoline.

The scene in the David Beckham dock, which I did not watch all of, but just have seen that scene.

Yeah, exactly.

We're very working, working class.

Being honest.

I am being honest.

I am being honest.

Why did your dad drive you to school in?

So my dad.

No,

my dad.

All right, it's not a simple answer because.

Did you get your dad to drive you to school?

It depends.

No, no, no, no, no.

Okay, in the 80s, my dad had a Rolls-Royce.

So on that note, what do you think this runs?

Yeah.

I'm going to say this is a

$60 to $70 bottle of bird.

Yeah, I'm thinking $75.

Guys,

this is $19.20.

Come on.

Go buy it.

The best $19 you've ever watched.

Stock is stuffer.

$75 million.

Are we way wrong?

Is this

a deal?

It's a deal.

Is that a bad selling fragrance?

It's a good fragrance.

That's legit.

This is currently the $12 leader.

Yeah.

Oh, without it.

There's not even close, dude.

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Number six.

Cool.

Yowza.

All right, this needs to.

It's wet.

This is very wet.

Wetter than Beck's got you?

Oh, boy.

This is something else.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's cinnamon.

That's.

Oh, I hate this.

That's heavy musk.

That is Elon as f.

My reaction to smelling this is like a meer cat popping out of a burrow, and I'm deciding whether to pop back down.

And I think I'm...

I think I'm back in the burrow.

This is dirty to me.

I'm like, you got to pop out and smell fragrances.

This is a little filthy.

Okay, that is really not getting less strong.

This is a turn for the worse.

It's becoming more.

It smells like a woman wearing a suit for the first time.

It feels like the first time a lady ever was like, women can wear suits as well.

That woman wore this perfume.

Smells like shoulder pads.

Right.

It smells like a shoulder pad, a big gold button.

This smells like she can have it all.

She can.

Let's see it.

If it's for a man, I'll be surprised.

Gob smacked.

This is a big package.

Okay.

Gob Gobsmack.

Oh, fuck Brady.

Oh, my God.

I thought it was Chris Pratt.

I don't know my glasses on.

How light-skinned is Chris Brown?

No, Chris Pratt.

I don't think it's the other name.

I don't say that person's name.

Tom Brady.

First of all, Stetson.

So collab with the hat company?

Yeah.

Damn.

You got your cologne at the hat company.

That's where my friend went to college, Stetson.

Oh.

To learn.

Here's a true original Stetson.

The legendary fragrance of the American West.

A rich, masculine blend

of rugged woods and spice.

This is a miss.

Baby, baby, baby.

No.

Incomplete.

Bass notes.

Musk, vanilla, honey, tonka bean.

Tonka bean?

What's that?

Tonka trucks also make beans.

Much like Stetson also wears

heat has a regular

tonka bell.

That's right.

What do you think it costs?

$12.99.

$55.

$30.47.

This is the most expensive cologne so far.

Really?

Correct.

We've done a lot of patriarchal scouting of these fragrances.

This.

This is the first lady.

This is a lady that we should respect.

This is Dr.

Jill Biden.

God rest her soul.

What?

Dr.

Jill.

Still with us.

Imagine you found out that's how she died though right now.

That would be hilarious, right?

Sorry.

Not Dr.

Jill.

Really?

This is soft and delicate.

I would like my laundry to kind of smell like this.

You know?

Yeah.

Or my bed sheets, you know?

Yeah.

Wow.

Sexist again.

I want this to make me a delicious sandwich.

I want this to cook for me.

I guess I can still be sexist even though I'm married.

Bear my children.

There's a subtlety here.

This smells like how I remember that Britney Spears perfume smelling.

Is this the romance version?

I don't think they would do both.

I don't don't these diabolical monsters, yeah.

It's fruity in the back.

You get that like apple.

What do you say?

It's fruity in the back.

Fruity in the back.

It is.

Guys, grow up.

It's fruity in the back.

I like this.

I like this.

I like this.

I like this.

All right, guys, marry it.

Why don't you?

Jesus.

Simps.

This is for sure perfume.

It's not going to sleep with you.

So I'm just being people on the internet when you're nice to a lady.

Hope she sees this, Bernie.

Yeah, you can't just be polite.

No.

I mean, they're still correct, probably.

This is nice.

Yeah.

This is a winner's momentum.

We're not saying nothing.

It's like

it's light.

But also feminine enough to satisfy, again, my most

aspirational alpha desires.

Yeah.

Okay.

Pablo.

Because I look at Pablo's.

I'm thinking of his alpha.

Oh, alpha.

I like it.

I like it a lot.

Pablo's not.

I can't make eye contact with Pablo while he's still in the middle of the day.

Everybody.

He's making me very Look at me.

No.

It's nice.

It's light.

It's floral.

It's fruity.

This is water.

It's like almost like a peach or like a.

This is like the drink you order at dinner, and your friends are like beginning to make fun of you.

And then you're like, try it.

They're like, is this, is that elder flower in there?

And you're like, just take a sip.

Bet you regret making fun of me now.

Soft.

Let's do what number seven is.

Soft.

Soft as baby.

Wow.

General.

This

me now.

This is us now.

Still.

She did it again.

She did it again.

That fing J-Lo.

She is still.

What can she do?

What can't she do?

Be still my heart.

The block.

Katie and I have made fun of J-Lo in the past.

I apologize.

She popped out recently.

I want to say it was something political in a brown outfit that my jaw was on the floor.

This is what a celebrity smells like.

Yeah.

It's called Still.

That's good.

That's nice.

Maybe she's contemplating making this her daily driver.

$17.99.

My daily driver.

$17.99.

This is my Adam driver, $17.99.

I bet it, because I guarantee you, she's moving bricks of this.

$20.

$26.23.

And worth every penny, I think.

Very beautiful.

Very beautiful.

Very delicate.

That's why you can't make eye contact with her.

This is aspirational for a certain type of J-Lo head for sure.

J-Lo, you did it again.

Feed my kids tonight or fing smell like J-Lo.

I get that J-Lo.

This next fragrance needs to earn it.

They can't coast on it.

As so many have, they cannot coast on the legacy of Jennifer Lopez.

Huh.

This literally smells like the standard hotel in Miami.

Pablo and I were talking about this earlier.

This smells like their lobby scent.

Which is definitely something way more expensive and better than whatever this is, but

this is nice.

It's soapy.

In a bad way?

Yeah.

It smells

very soapy.

I like a luxury hotel lobby.

Yeah,

we all know this about you.

I like this.

There is restraint.

I credit this for its restraint.

Are you getting perfume or cologne?

I don't.

It's unisex, it feels.

Yeah, right.

I'm a fan.

And if this is cheap enough, straight to cart.

Let's open up the bag.

I'm really curious about this one.

Wow.

Why does Will Levis have a fragrance?

Excuse me.

Why is it so good?

And why isn't it called Will Levis?

Read it more closely.

Will Levis number eight, Hellman's Parfum de Mayonnaise.

Yo, they killed it.

That's so

funny.

So you're seen the commercials, right?

Yeah, so I...

It's so funny that you guys thought it's incredible.

Can you buy this or do you get it when you order a jar of palette?

It doesn't smell like mayonnaise.

It wasn't supposed to, was it?

Like, I don't.

So it is, to Lawrence's

taste and appreciation for the finer things in life.

This is impossible to find now.

It's all sold out.

You can't get it.

Ah, there you go.

You can't take it.

Can't add to carte.

But it smells more like mayonnaise up close.

And now that I

know that.

Is it supposed to smell like Jay?

It's mayonnaise.

Will Levis, number eight, Parfum des Mayonnaise, opens to the bright burst of tart lemon that provides a refreshing and clean introduction.

At the heart of the fragrance lies a creamy, daring mayonnaise accord.

What?

Daring?

Daring?

Creamy and daring?

Creamy, daring mayonnaise accord.

Like it's the Geneva ones.

Yep.

Offering a smooth and complex heart.

We're describing Lawrence so far, by the way.

I am creamy, delightful.

Yeah.

And a complex heart.

Okay.

Parsley adds a fresh herbal element reminiscent of a well-prepared dish.

And of course, this fragrance would not be complete without subtle coffee undertones reminiscent of Will's signature mayonnaise-infused caffeine beverage.

Apparently, he does that all rightly.

Will Levis' drinks mayo?

He has a signature mayonnaise-infused caffeine beverage.

What?

This is a thing, right?

He puts mayonnaise in his coffee.

Wait, really?

And that's why they signed him?

Will Levis, quarterback at the University of Kentucky, and I have been known to put mayonnaise in my coffee sometimes.

A sensual musk base weaves through the composition, evoking physicality and charisma.

Finally, we finish off with a comforting, creamy vanilla finish that is equal parts inviting and intriguing.

The vanilla was there.

No.

That's the hotel lobby.

I hesitate to say that Katie comes out looking great.

Yes, for sure.

But it shouldn't be that good for what I've said.

They had no business trying as hard as it did.

They put their whole

fingers into that.

They're mussy.

Yeah.

They're mayusy.

I mean,

it is creamy and daring.

No, absolutely not.

Number nine.

Very nice, very delicate.

This feels like a lady to me.

This smells generic to me.

Like a platonic ideal of perfume.

It's almost evasive to me.

In a world in which people are screaming, I'm not even sure what gender this is, honestly.

Enigma.

A riddle.

It's like a woodsy.

I have such a headache from this.

Yeah.

Just to be crazy.

Is it possible to be drunk off of smelling fragrances?

When you picture perfume, you picture this smell.

This is what you, yeah, you smell.

Dare I say that it almost feels like it's like an algorithmic.

I liked it more at at first than I do now.

This is a centrist

Admittedly, I'm a little gun-shy also because I was just praising the Mayo fragrance.

Yeah, dude, the Mayo is better than this.

I don't care what comes out of the bag.

The Mayo is better than this.

We can only find a sample of this one.

Oh, broke.

Oh, my God.

What is it?

Driven

by

Derek Jeter.

What?

Yo, that's kind of a good one.

We kind of nailed him.

This kind of

going in the gift bag for

the ladies.

driven away from my home it's an avon it's another avon jam autograph baseball it's sample of uh derek jeter driven that's captain boring

i love i grew up adoring this man um but i because he got ass man

he was clutch yeah and he's a snooze fest if you are a yankee fan from staten island and you buy the driven cologne and you put that on You're going to be upset.

You're going to be disappointed.

It's not

a hate crime.

Still a Hall of Famer, to be clear.

Unambiguous.

We can't take that away.

They won't let us.

Thank you for clarifying.

They won't let us.

But if we could, we'd revoke it because of that

perfume.

Jeez.

That's not

good.

Just really boring.

Not my cup of tea.

Like Jeets.

Yeah, Jeets.

Yeah, Jeets.

Number 10.

Oh, this this is juicy.

This is juicy as jeez.

That'll get you.

Oh, that's what the brandy spirit smells like to me.

This is bubblegum.

This is bath and body works.

This is Jessica Simpson written all over it.

Something like that.

It's one of those for sure.

This is fruity.

This is David La Chapelle.

Yeah.

Yeah, this is those Steve Madden ads where they used to make their heads really big and their bodies really small.

This is a brat's doll.

Yeah.

This is no one over the age of 14.

this is youthful this is exhausting me just to smell it if you are wearing this and you are not a 14 year old you should be arrested you're gonna watch

this is britney this smells like the britney spears i know i'm gonna keep saying this like i chris hansen should walk in the door

now that we've broken this out of the ziploc It's not as bad as they're making it sound.

It's just very bright, very sweet.

For me, it's good instincts for you both to be repulsed by

the scent of a child girl.

For the record.

I love that.

Good job Doing a great job.

I hate this.

You hate it.

I never.

Gross.

I can picture it bullying me.

Oh.

I am scared of it.

Mean girl.

This fragrance is the reason why Katie got Invisalott.

It ends really, really sweet.

Like, the more I'm sitting with it, the more it's like, wah, cotton candy.

Get it.

You're 12.

This is.

Taylor Swift Wonderstruck.

Just nailed it.

That tracks.

Nailed it.

That tracks.

And I like T-Suists, but yeah, this is preying on the parents of young girls who don't have the money to spend.

One destrack!

You've been.

Thunderstruck Taylor's version.

Also, no, is this the real.

Is this the real bottle?

Just zero effort.

It's a travel size.

Yeah.

It's a travel size.

Travel size.

You know, you want to smell like Taylor Swift.

You can travel with somebody else.

This smells like a Taylor Swift concert.

This is exactly right.

Do you think that Taylor Swift smells like this?

Hell no.

Wonderstruck is the first fragrance from the young American pop country singer Taylor Swift, launched in cooperation with the cosmetic company Elizabeth Arden.

Wonderstruck is named after the lyrics from the song Enchanted.

Quote, I'm Wonderstruck, comma, blushing all the way home.

Cool.

Portmanteau.

Which tell about the feeling and the impression you get when you first meet someone you like.

Taylor hopes that her fragrance will be an essential part of many impressions in first meetings.

What do you think Wonderstruck

Swift costs?

It tracks, but I thought it would, this is

a fragrance, so I don't think she was low-end.

I don't think she was a full-blown capitalist yet.

Yeah.

How much she would sell it for, I will say that size bottle,

$17.99.

The travel size bottle is $9.99.

$59.99.

What the f ⁇ ?

How dare you underestimate that?

She's been a full-blown capitalist the whole time.

Wonderstruck.

$59.99 for the travel size?

Damn, we've been wonderstruck.

That's crazy town.

Egregious.

Maybe.

They delivered to your house on a private jet.

That's bad.

That's interesting.

That's the worst thing that's going to be.

That being the most expensive and the smallest size, other than the jeter one.

And with the least appeal.

That is only for little girls.

The last fragrance.

Oh, good.

Get number 11.

Jesus Christ.

What is that?

Is that spearament?

Wow.

This is potent.

This is the most potent.

I feel like this is.

I have not smelled this since origin.

This sits outside in a folding chair and whistles at me.

Man, I'm afraid of this.

This is an Elks Club.

A VFW hall.

This one has seen some things and done some things.

As I'm sitting with it, I don't dislike it.

Necessarily.

Yeah, I'm getting Vietnam vet

for sure.

Man.

Maybe it'll settle a bit.

Yeah,

it really does come on strong.

It's kind of like deep.

It's kind of like

the back of my nose.

I feel that.

I feel that actually.

And it's like earthy and woodsy.

Yeah.

Let it be known.

There's going to be like John Madden or like some old, like Terry Bradshaw.

Oh, I hope it's Terry Bradshaw.

You know, something like an old guy.

I see this being a Terry Bradshaw.

Me too, actually.

Almost medicinal.

Yeah, this is a

guy rolls into your one horse town.

He's got a

briefcase full of whatever.

Yes.

And this is something.

This is one of those.

Yeah.

A polio.

Here you go, dog.

But it doesn't smell cheap.

Like this kind of,

but like homebrewed.

I think I'm giving it credit for being different.

It's very different than what we've smelled today.

This is, this is, this is alluring.

This is the work of an old man.

Is it snake oil?

Is it penicillin?

Who's the cares?

He's got

a choole and his own bottle of whiskey.

Our last fragrance is.

Drum roll.

Oh,

wow.

Damn.

We're going to cut that.

We got God.

We're going to cut that.

We got God.

We got God.

Snake oil salesman.

No.

I think we nailed that.

This is fight, fight, fight.

Donald Trump.

Oh, the bottle's brutal.

What a tacky fuck.

Just a sticker.

Slapped on a

perfect, though.

Limited edition 2024 made in France.

I hate how made in France.

Yeah, I thought he was America.

I thought America first.

We got the cig on the side.

This is 2024.

This must have been

like a cigarette.

This is that new, new.

It is an all-black, heavy-ass bottle.

Fight, fight, fight is a bold fragrance from Trump Fragrances designed for men who embody strength and resilience.

This limited edition cologne is crafted to leave a lasting impression with its rich and robust notes.

The fragrances commemorate President Trump's moment of personal courage and the struggle for the

Americans after being shot at in Butler, Pennsylvania.

Instead of the potential horrific moment of Trump's assassination, every camera on the mainstream media captured the most iconic photograph and video of his political career.

Oh my god, the amount of money I was looking for the profile notes.

Lawrence, what do you think this costs?

Well, based on that reaction.

Oh my God.

So this is $100.

Mine says $200.

Whoa, let's

go.

We pay.

I don't actually, this is the most embarrassing thing

that we spent $216.67.

$299.

The retail is $199 a bottle.

We gave, I presume, to be the alleged shell company.

That's something that.

Oh my God.

I can't believe it doesn't smell worse.

Now let's go.

Is anybody here really good at math and conversion?

I want to end the show.

This,

if you took the amount that Taylor Swift had and hers and you scaled it up to this size, is that more?

Does she charge more per drop than he does?

Mathematically speaking, Taylor Swift's cologne fragrance perfume would cost at this rate $400.

Jesus

Christ.

Shout out to T-Suiz.

I hope that

the rest of the year works out

in a way in which we're all like, you know what, that wasn't as bad as I thought.

Happy January 6th, by the way.

Yeah.

Belated.

Happy, belated January 6th.

At the end of every episode of Hollowatori Finds Out, a show where we find stuff out, we say what we found out today.

And I guess,

I guess, Katie.

I found out Taylor Swift charges more per drop of her perfume, or did, I don't know, than

45.47.

Is that what we call them now?

Is it 45, 40?

What?

How do you even...

Do you get both numbers?

Did that did Grover Cleveland get it?

Yeah,

you get both.

Yeah.

You get both.

Cool.

You get both.

What was your favorite?

It's between

Beckham and I and J-Wo,

I think.

I'm still shook.

What did you learn today?

What did you find out today?

Found out that I'm updating my hall pass with my wife to David Beckham.

Nice.

That wasn't on there.

No.

I also found out that I want to try Manny's in my coffee.

The Will Levis, whatever's happening there.

Yeah, you were

pressing all the right buttons for your boy.

i don't know i'm not gonna start rooting for the titans but no that'd be nuts that i mean he's figured something out so i think if i may collectively summarize our thoughts i'm gonna find you that picture of her big winner i think is david beckon at the price point too at that price point that's crazy 1925 the best deal the best man dare i say on the metal stand though

we concur that j-lo is there yeah if we're being honest with ourselves,

I don't know.

The scientists behind the glass are telling me that

it was pretty clear that we all agreed that the Trump one was pretty good.

Damn, really?

What I found out today is that I should never trust the producers of the world.

Why would you ever do that?

God, no, don't lie.

Trump got one.

This has been Pablo Torre Finds Out, a Metalark Media production.

And I'll talk to you next time.

Julian Edlo here from DK Network.

Tune in to DKN Daily Bets Monday through Friday, a fun, quick-hitting podcast where we bring in knowledgeable guests from across the sports betting industry to break down our favorite bets of the day.

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