Why Listening to Action Bronson Makes Us Happy

Welcome to Pablo Torre Finds Out.

I am Pablo Torre, and today we're going to find out what this sound is.

Doing lines off a Nintendo Switch in the back of a Hyundai Sonata.

Yeah, I mean, I feel like they're tapping into things like that.

I would want to say.

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Yo.

How are you?

Yo.

What's going on, baby?

Please.

How you feel, man?

I'm great.

I'm great now that you're here, man.

Are you sufficiently stoned enough?

Oh, yeah.

I need an espresso, but can we lower this?

Because I don't f with this height of the chair.

It's like a three-quarter chair.

I don't like that.

You approve, though, the espresso is alright.

It's really good.

The taste of vanilla.

That's what that's what I chose for you.

You chose a vanilla one?

I did.

I usually wouldn't go for it, but man.

Wow.

Wow.

A wow from you means a lot to me.

Not that I should take credit for whatever an espresso.

That's your usual thing.

Oh, no, I feel like you deep-potted it and then just laid all the bean in there for me.

That's exactly what I did.

Thank you for noticing.

Wow.

There are some things in the city of New York that feel extraordinarily New York.

And as a New York show, Pablo Torre finds out that feels the need to occasionally remind people that yes, we have a physical studio in Manhattan where we tape our show.

I

marvel at a person like Action Bronson, who is oozing New York out of every pore and who is a rapper and an artist and a chef and a 30-something, I believe 39-year-old native New Yorker and a host of f ⁇ That's Delicious, a wildly popular show about food.

He's a Renaissance man in a way that is entirely sincere.

And so when I saw him on the sidewalk on one of my many, almost entirely random walks through the city, I realized that I had many, many questions that I needed to ask him.

What I wasn't sure was whether his particular strait of consciousness would indulge

the many

questions that I had for him.

I knew this was going to be different.

And so I just needed to tell him how I felt.

I

am so glad that you're sitting here.

Thank you.

For real.

Like, I was trying to, we were trying to figure out, like, how do we explain to someone who hasn't listened to your music, Action Bronson, before?

And we had a couple of like, well, first off, what do you, when you imagine a listener, an appreciator of your music doing when they're listening to you, what do you imagine?

I don't really give a shit, to be honest with you.

Like, I'm just doing it for myself.

I'm not even thinking about like

anything else but new things.

I'm just in that, like, I've just come back from a new path.

I'm riding a new path.

I feel great.

It's hard to describe anything.

I don't, it's like,

if I wanted to describe it, I would have talked to you about it.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, if you, it's like when you paint,

I didn't want to f ⁇ ing talk to you.

I painted you something and that's that.

Right now we're in the process of making new music, new breakthroughs.

So then I'll be excited.

Having a brand new band and doing things like that, like

like the tiny desk and like that, you know, like that's the shit though that I've been listening to all week.

That.

Motherfuckers are crazy, man.

Oh my god.

Sorry for cushing.

It's like one of those

platforms when you're respected in music.

They bring you on there and I don't know people seem to really enjoy it.

10-town

I just want to say this very clearly: if you have not listened or learned much about Action Brownson before this interview, somehow, this tiny desk concert at NPR in DC, yo, Nadir behind the glass, one of my guys, we were trying to figure out how do we describe this music, and he was like, This music makes me want to ride a horse.

Yes, my third eye been popping for 8,000 years.

I don't got no cheers.

I don't got no fears.

I don't get caught up in the bright lights, dear.

It brings out all the emotions of carnal desires.

Yes.

Riding horses on beaches naked.

Just things of that nature, like fire.

Just watching fire burn, watching the ocean roar.

Boy, stay cozy.

Laying in a bed that's full of roses.

Sipping rosy, chilling with some Kobe's on.

Go rolly on the phony arm.

I travel the stars, let goby won.

A f Star Wars man,

cause Indiana Jones is better.

That's it.

Free-flowing acid jazz.

I'm a jazz instrument

just like a goddamn saxophone or the Rhodes.

I am, you know.

Make me cry.

So it's definitely reinvigorated me in that manner, but it's, I have to put myself in a hole to dig myself out right now.

That's the zone.

So the zone sounds a little miserable if you're using a hole to describe it.

Nah, not really.

It's all,

these are all like,

I'm dramatic.

I'm being dramatic.

It's all dramatization.

I like how you said earlier, I'm not good at describing things.

And I'm like, you, I think, are one of the best describers of things.

But no, it's not.

Because it's not, I'm not trying, I'm not describing it exact.

It's a rendition of my exact brain.

This is like, it's like the picture behind you.

That's what's happening.

I want to say, people have questions like, how do I book this show?

I literally ran into you on the street one day.

Do you remember this?

I don't know if you remember this on the street, like in Soho.

I ran into you.

I think we were both varying levels of stoned, incidentally.

Yeah, listen, I love the round of horn.

That's how you booked this.

But then

I saw you then, I see you now, and it's kind of a fall day in New York.

And I guess I should ask, like, when was the last time you wore pants?

I don't probably 15 to 20 years.

The last time I put pants on, I had an accident

and

I never wore them again.

What happened?

It just wasn't good.

It just wasn't good.

It can't be discussed.

It can't be discussed.

But

what I will say is that they were never to be touched on my skin again.

Every time I've ever seen you, you're wearing

shorts.

And they're stretchy so I could squat, so I could work out.

I'm not finging around with stiff shorts.

You understand?

I'm over here flexible.

When did you learn that you needed to have stretchy shorts?

I was a husky child.

Everyone needs stretchy shorts.

I don't think that anyone should wear a constricting situation.

Anything constricting is like I get like sometimes you get that heat flash that comes over you and you just want to rip everything off.

Rip

shirt off.

I get that a lot.

So

for me to be able to use the actual agility that I was given by nature and science with,

you know, my body construction, it's only right that I put on a material that reflects and echoes all of the property.

You know?

I feel like when you were a kid, though,

what was that like?

What's young action Bronson like?

Yeah, I mean,

I don't know, like a fing wild man.

Every kid's crazy, I feel, in some aspect.

You're not even fully conscious, you know?

You're just kind of like drunk.

You're kind of like on ass.

You don't know what the f is really going on.

You're so

like a little bambi-ish, you know?

So you're just running amok.

doing whatever, thinking that there's no consequence on earth.

and then I don't know, one day it just all hits you.

You're old and gray, your balls sag, you know,

your ass leaks.

Not talking about me, but in general, these things happen.

I feel like as I get older, I get more sophisticated looking like Sean Connery.

The gravitas is all over your beard now.

It's happening, it's happening.

When you're a kid

and

someone picks a fight with you,

what's the move?

Headbutt.

I'm a headbutter.

When'd you discover that that was your move?

That's like a Zangef move.

It's like this.

You ever watched the movie Gladiator?

Of course.

But with Brian Dennehy, that one?

No.

Cuba Gooding Jr., it was an early underground fighting movie, boxing, and

he used to say this was the hardest part of the head.

The top of the head, kid.

Hardest part of the body.

Hurts, dummy, huh?

What are you going to do now?

What are you going to do now?

Here he comes.

Here he comes.

You never seen Gladiator Brian Denahy?

You kidding me right now?

I have this on VHS.

Cuba Gooding Jr.

Do you know that actor?

Of course.

You might have heard of him?

I wish someone had shown me the VHS tape of Gladiator starring Cuba Gooding Jr.

Yeah, it was starring Brian Denny.

Sorry.

Cuba Gooding Jr.

had the supporting role.

But

I had a grandfather, a very good man, who loved his VHSs, and that's what he collected.

And I have about 3,000 in my house.

Holy shit.

Yeah, that he left me.

All kinds of crazy shit.

I've seen it all.

I've seen them all.

What's better about a VHS?

There's grain.

Everything is better about tape.

There's some graininess.

You have to be a connoisseur to understand it.

It's like the in-between space.

The imperfection of it.

It's that, but it also adds.

It gives comfort and warmth in some aspects.

Film is just captured differently than digital.

You know, it's like, whatever.

Anyone can pick the camera up and make the thing, you know?

I should point out that you have acted for martin scorsesi when you talk about film on yes i've i'm accredited as a film actor in the guild

that's right i mean you were in the irishman

it's pretty bizarre can you explain what meeting martin scorsese and being directed by martin scorsese was like

most of the time people are as stoked as you are to meet them as they are to meet you.

So when they

was a fan of yours.

I don't know if that's the case, but he definitely showed enthusiasm and

showed a lot of love, and it was nothing but happiness and laughter.

And you know, we had a good time.

It was only, we only did about three takes, and that was it.

What was the role you played for people who are unfamiliar?

I just some

weird

like casket salesman

in about the third hour, 10-minute mark.

It was a pivotal point.

They're like the Cadillac of caskets.

Now, if we're putting you in the f ⁇ ing oven, it really doesn't matter what you go in.

The cheapest shit possible.

Particle board.

That's it.

What are we doing today?

Are we doing a cremation?

I remember distinctly waking up on my couch.

To the third hour there about Mark and thinking to myself, am I hallucinating action Bronson into this film?

With that beard, it was bizarre.

He asked me to take the beard off.

But i you know at that point i was like man this is like i have like six chins under here so i'm probably not

i'm imagining i'm imagining your home and i'm imagining the 3000 vhs tapes i'm imagining your incredibly worn down rewinder you already know there was a rewinder there has to be

there's no there's no you can't push your machine through that type of wear and tear.

You need a separate rewinder.

And it was a Corvette.

Oh, shit.

You know, know, I had the Corvette,

the red rewinder.

And so, if I were to put your brain inside of your Corvette rewinder, what is the memory that comes up that is not actually on tape anywhere, but you think of as, oh, this is a core memory that I, Action Bronson, have?

So, I've been so many.

I couldn't tell you those.

Those are for me.

I can't tell you.

The pants one's in there, isn't there?

Yeah, no, the pants.

What pants?

There's no, there's no secret of the pants.

I don't wear them.

I just don't think that they're nice.

Fashion-wise, I don't like to cover my leg.

I work hard to get a calf that has some sort of diamond shape.

Why would I want to take away from that calf?

I'm being shown.

I like a sock.

I like to show the shoe.

I like a full, like my shit is like my

quadricep is literally out, fully flexed.

Yes, yes.

Quad's out.

It's a quad season.

I'm just trying to recover from a sacchariliac injury.

It's under your like ass area, like your nut groin from the back.

Like this is, this is a...

It's a very specific area.

It's like these muscles that keep the hamstring nice.

So that's not like the grundle?

It's near it.

Grundle adjacent.

It's parallel to the grundle.

It's running parallel.

Yep, yep, yep.

It's in a grid.

Yep.

Almost asymptotic to the Grundle, sort of like always approaching, but never touching it.

No, it runs

congruent.

I should point out that your calf philosophy shames me because

I consider the Filipino people on Filipino.

to have excellent calves.

I consider my calves excellent.

I have artwork about the Filipino calf.

This is like a, this is not the first time I pointed this out to a guest, but on the left is like a standard like white guy, you know, just very vertical calf.

On the right is the Filipino calf in my view.

And I've been told I should wear more shorts.

You do.

You have to show that, you have to show, you have to condition your shin also.

The shin.

The shin bone muscle is very important as well.

You have to do the front flex, not only the calf.

You can't just do front.

You got to do back also.

So what is a, how do you, how do you, how do you work out your shin you fle flex your toe upwards

do you feel that muscle i do now put it back down no no you doesn't have to go all the way up no no no put your leg down your leg down yeah right there right there

flex your foot now really flex it up tight

oh yeah there it is feel that muscle there it is that one

what is your workout routine like now

i just go hard for an hour and a half and you know

I do things that I like doing, and then I do things that I hate doing.

Give me the thing you love the most.

Give me the thing you hate the most.

I don't really like bench pressing.

It's not really like I don't f ⁇ ing love that shit.

I love to squat.

I love to f ⁇ ing do like Zurcha squats with the weight in front of you.

I like picking up stones and

sandbags and shit like that.

I don't like running.

I don't like doing running for long distance.

You like the world's strongest man.

I do, but then I also like like skinny boy shit.

I want to be in shape as well.

I like the MMA type of cardio training.

I like fighting training.

I like that type of shit.

I like to be pushed to the physical limits.

There's a tattoo you have that I believe is.

Nothing means anything.

So the one that you have.

Doesn't mean a fing thing.

Barry Bonds, his season?

Doesn't really mean a thing.

I was a stupid kid.

This is going back to being an idiot.

Why did I do that?

He had other seasons where he was juiced up, but that was his most juiced up season.

I can't wait to get on GH, honestly.

Barry Bonds.

As soon as I turn 40, I'm taking GH.

Barry Bonds' 73 home run season.

You have that stat line tattooed on your body.

And the growth of the...

It wasn't his his most impressive average season.

You know that.

Well,

like 380, right?

375.

Barry Bonds

hit 370 the year after that.

Exactly.

That was more impressive.

Less home runs.

So got walked all the time.

Less home runs, but hit 370.

Yes.

Yes.

Got walked all the time.

Was the most feared player in baseball.

That's how I stepped to the plate.

You put that thing on the elbow guard.

When you have that on and you have a dangling earring, who are you you to be with?

Just about to head butt of baseball.

His head was like his jaw.

He had GH face.

So the GH face, the growth hormone.

Yeah.

Have you taken steroids before?

Yeah.

24 years old.

I was juiced up.

I don't know.

I was taking project juice.

My boy was like, you know, from

my boy from the neighborhood was getting some juice.

And we were shooting it up.

Shooting up juice.

Into what part of your body were you shooting up project juice?

Leg, ass cheek,

rear delt.

Seriously, bad.

But who knew where this juice was coming from?

Could have been canola oil.

Could have been whatever.

Mozzola.

I could have been giving myself goddamn project surgery, you know, like BBLs.

Yep, yep, yep, yep.

And what would you go do, though, with all of the I would go do ballet

and ice skate.

We might go lift weights, bro.

Meat head.

Eat turkey.

Raw turkey.

Rolled in raw chicken meat.

And then rolled in pro volume.

Iso pure EAS Bill Romanowski.

Yes.

You understand?

That's the time.

I was taking creatine at 13 years old.

I imagine you now.

I imagine young action Bronson eating a raw turducken like John Madden.

Straight up to, I mean,

turducken is ridiculous, but I like it.

It does seem a little like unholy.

Well, when it's done right, it's delicious.

The idea of just like all that, I think it's craziness.

That's more for like seems like it started for a party.

That's right.

Someone wanted to have a party, so like, let's do something festive.

If you're looking to add something special to your next celebration, try Remy Martin 1738 Accord Royale.

This smooth, flavorful cognac is crafted from the finest grapes and aged to perfection, giving you rich notes of oak and caramel with every sip.

Whether you're celebrating a big win or simply enjoying some cocktails with family and friends, Remy Martin 1738 is the perfect spirit to elevate any occasion.

So go ahead, treat yourself to a little luxury, and try Remy Martin 1738 Accord Royale.

Learn more at remymartin.com.

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Please drink responsibly.

I want to explain to people.

I think of you as like the ambassador of Queens.

So I'm from New York.

I grew up on 30th and 1st in Manhattan.

Friends lived in Queens, all of that.

Yeah.

Spent way too much time in like the Floral Park area growing up.

The hell were you doing in Floral Park?

My friend Pietro Desario lived in a Floral Park, Flopo.

Okay.

Also Woodside, Filipino food.

Oh, yeah.

How do you explain Queens to people who have not been there?

It's a mixture of every single life on earth.

in one place.

So it's kind of like

it's a holy land.

It is the most diverse place maybe on earth.

It is, it is.

It's a holy land.

I've been a lot of places.

I couldn't see anywhere else being this diverse.

There's that stacked up other places, but it's not with all these different cultures.

It's truly unbelievable.

Yes.

It's truly an unbelievable place.

Yes.

It's somewhere you never, ever, ever have to leave.

And you've already been everywhere.

So I feel like a lot of people, the export from Queens that they think they're getting is like Kevin James, King of Queens.

When I think of Queens, I think of coming to America.

Yes, that's the first thing I think of.

And I think that that's a tremendous depiction of Queens.

That one, as you're right, that shows Queens in one of the most incredible lights ever.

You got to go to Queens.

That's where you're going to meet one of the most incredible.

You bring it back to

literally royalty.

He got his face on the money, man.

You know?

He's rich.

He is rich.

What?

He got his own money.

And baby, when I tell you he's got his own money, I mean the boy has gotten his own money.

You did it this time.

You hit the jackpot.

That type of shit.

Were you on AOL?

Hell yeah.

What was your screen name?

A Suede56.

How'd you get settled on that?

How did I get settled?

It didn't take much

I just thought of some and that became that

my jersey number was 56 in high school like a meathead and that was it so a suede 56 yep at aol.com at aol.com net zero oh yeah

the cd yep yep i was on earth link damn those are two

Off-brand ones.

Absolutely.

I had this kid in my neighborhood.

It was a computer whiz.

He built the computer.

And he got me all set up on the compact Presario.

Oh, yeah, man.

And then I got the Dell.

I didn't have the good.

When we had a word processor, I thought we had a computer.

I was trying to enter launch codes, but it never worked.

What sport did you play, number 56?

Football.

Position?

Bayside High School, center, and noseguard.

Prestige.

Give me this counting report on you as a player

deceptively quick

hard hard-hitting

long-lasting

iQ on fing unbelievable

my awareness is a hundred

on Madden

so I'm like the field general I'm the quarterback of the line.

I know what the, I know more than the quarterback does.

I question his throws.

I question his decision making.

Why'd you do that?

What was the reaction

when you are questioning what's happening on this team?

I'm not that type of guy.

I would, in my mind, I would say, what the f was happening, you know?

I could throw him under the bus.

On to the next play.

Your athletic hero was who?

My true athletic hero, I don't really know.

Who did I look to?

It's like, wow, Mike Tyson.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He captivated me, as probably many others.

Did you ever meet Mike?

Yeah.

He kissed me on the hands.

I'm sorry.

How does that work?

It's like we kissed each other on hands as respect.

Just happened.

Just happened.

I feel like Mike Tyson kissing you on the hand is kind of like,

I don't know.

It was crazy.

Diana Ross kissing you on the vocal cord.

That's pretty heavy duty, but yeah.

Yeah.

I'd say so.

You like Diana Ross?

I was trying to think of spontaneously who is the person who I'd most valued.

You would want her to kiss you on the vocal cord?

Yeah, who's the equivalent of Mike Tyson?

That's the SAT problem.

Mike Tyson is to hands as blank

vocal cords.

Let's see.

I don't know.

Diana Ross, though, I guess.

Celine Dion.

Not really into her.

I mean, Stevie Wonder.

Now, that's a vocal cord.

Absolutely.

That's a vocal cord kisser right there.

You made a music video, though, in which you, this is like pre-deep fake, you edited your face onto the body of Magnus Vermagnusson.

Yeah.

Can you explain Magnus Vermagnussen for people who don't know the world's strongest man mythology?

Yeah, Magnus Vermagnusson is one of the, like,

one of the top strong men of the world.

I think he won three.

He's just one of them in this world.

Marius Pujanowski.

Yes.

Yukuhola won it twice.

Magnus won it four times.

Magnus won it four times.

91, 94, 95, 96.

Excuse me.

But right now, I'm in bulk season.

I'm back in bulk season.

But not too much bulk.

Just enough that when I come down, I'm shredded and it's really showing

what is bulking up for for you look like i'm this is it i'm 275 right now that's it can't this can't allow myself to get over that

bringing myself down to 230 i'm gonna look like jean-claude van dam it's doing a split between two trucks volvos volvos remember that commercial of course

This doesn't look like I'm fing jacked up in this fing picture.

See, like it's bullet.

I'm a little bit better now.

Leaning forward, I don't look jacked.

That's the issue.

I mean, you're wearing a sweater.

I'm wearing a Dekembe Mutumbo jersey under this, bro.

Are you really?

I f ⁇ ing sure am Nuggets?

Who else?

I mean, yeah, the Hawks.

Yeah, it is.

It's one of the greatest jerseys of all time.

His Mutumbo Nuggets jersey.

And the Mutumbo Hawks jersey.

Both great.

I once talked to Dekembe Mutumbo about his life, and he told me that his house, he had to have special toilets installed because

of course he's like seven two or whatever it is

the importance of a good toilet I was speaking to my colleague yesterday

you don't really know life until you sit on a warm toilet seat bro you literally immediately and it's like

it's not just a regular everything comes out You know what I mean?

Can I bond with you, hopefully, about but you know the toilet you sit down and start spraying something real quick, but you get up, I get up

so it doesn't hit me.

So you don't like the bidet?

I don't duck it.

I don't let I don't let it touch me.

Oh, come on.

What are you doing?

This is the mist prior.

Oh, this is the pre-mist

because I guess they moisten the area.

But this is the pre-mist.

I don't let that touch me.

But but under your control, you like a bidet?

No.

Oh, come on.

No, no.

What are you doing?

I'm old school.

I come from a grandma with no paper, just a hand.

Just Just a hand.

Can I,

for the podcast audience, I can bronze.

A grandmother doing this, not me.

Is almost like flipping an imaginary pizza with his right hand.

My most

disliked version of a toilet is the toilet with

the padded seat.

That's old school.

I hate it.

I mean, that's fucking weird.

When you, it deflates as soon as you sit on it.

Yes.

It's weird.

It's like someone asking you to shit into a pillow.

Pull over.

I'll sh out the window.

If I need to go, it's happening.

But you like a warm seat, but that's about it.

A warm seat is definitely a game changer.

Cold, cold floor, warm seat.

Yes.

Dual.

So you get the dual heat.

Yep.

Cool feet.

Shins extended.

Oh my god.

I mean,

I don't know who wears clothes to shit, but I don't.

You go full on.

No matter where, where, if I'm in Kmart, Caldor,

wherever.

Caldor?

Yeah.

Yo, Caldor, man, I don't know if kids respect Caldor the way they need to.

I used to take Caldor to the f ⁇ ing, to the cleaners.

What are you doing inside of a Caldor?

Steal anything that's, you know, all the paint.

Take all the home products, the rollers.

Handheld dustbusters.

When that red devil came out, the dirt devil.

Yep.

I've had a dustbuster in my house.

I can't even remember when I didn't.

Right now, we don't even have a regular vacuum.

We have a fucking handheld dustbuster.

There's no need.

Either the shark or the dustbuster.

So like the world of Roombas does not appeal to you.

The robot.

It actually makes me crazy.

When they put the thing on, I fucking trip over it.

It creeps up on you.

It does.

You'll be cooking up in some bull.

I heard a story once about someone falling asleep on their, on their floor.

The roombuck comes out.

They have long hair.

Now they're being murdered by their by their vacuum.

I mean, listen, all that.

We saw Terminator 2.

This is what they were talking about.

You understand?

The machines.

Skynet.

This is what they were speaking of.

Arnold told you already this was was happening, and this is why when they bring the food with the robot, it freaks me the f out.

Yep, you know, yep, I don't want to see that

drop underwear from

where's the front drones, like Amazon.

Yeah, drop Amazon underwear, you drop the underwear with the plane.

Why

I like to imagine you like trying to

like

uh throw a discus

at those drones.

Discus was one of the best sweatshirts brand that ever lived.

One of the best athletic brands.

I don't know what happened to discus, but man, Queens, if you had a fing discus hoodie or a discus, whatever this one is called,

you were the one.

I want to ask you about it.

12-pack of sunwear shirts in a trunk.

Talha.

Do you know about these?

You know about Talha shirts?

No.

It's from the YT days.

Made in Bangladesh.

So how is a Talha shirt different from like the Haines?

You know?

Because it's fing Talha.

Tall T,

number six X T's.

Of course.

Weren't you doing f ⁇ ing who I think they like me dancing?

Laffy Taffy.

I mean, but this is the NBA, my favorite era of the NBA.

Throwbacks, I mean, I don't think I've ever taken a throwback off since they came out.

There's no need.

What's up, listeners?

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Have you heard of this Twitter account called Accidental Bronson?

No.

I don't know if you're going to love this or hate this, but would you be okay with me explaining this to you?

Sure.

So I was sitting at a New York Liberty game in the second row, right behind Courtside, and in front of me was Carmelo Anthony.

And I was eating pakey.

You familiar with Pakey?

Of course.

Which flavor?

Matcha.

Nice.

Yeah, yeah.

Good choice.

Exactly.

A rare version of it.

Did it come from Japan?

Yes.

Of course.

I'm not f ⁇ ing around, man.

Rare snacks, man rare snacks okay so i'm eating this this matcha green pakey behind carmelo anthony and i tweet it out and i just caption it quietly eating pakey behind carmelo anthony

and a twitter account which i did not know about till then titled accidental bronson retweets it and i'm like what the is this Oh, it sounds like a like something I would say.

And it's just all the things that people are tweeting inadvertently.

And I'm like, that is exactly a thing that fing actor Bronson would say.

It's true.

I mean, to think about it like this.

Real life is much crazier than anything that you could script.

You know,

all the bullshit that you could conjure up in your mind really isn't that cool.

If you just assess the situation around you real quick.

Like, okay,

this is what's happening.

So you immediately intuitively understood the premise of accidental Bronson.

I get it.

Can I show you some other ones that people have?

Sure.

I feel like...

Go ahead, get it.

I mean, let's hear it.

Let's hear it.

I feel like you got to say them, though.

Nah, nah, nah.

You have to say it.

All right, let me say it.

Okay.

Let me say it.

Let me say it.

And then you can do that.

Let me see it.

You can grade it.

Okay.

You can grade it.

Let me just, I'm going to expand the window on my laptop.

I mean, this is going to be a thing because this is a tribute account.

Okay, so put me and Timothy Chalamet in the Oklahoma drill, and I'm putting them in a hospital.

I mean, boom.

That's hard.

That's fing hard.

It's all about that type of word.

Timothy Chalamé.

Chalet?

Chalamay.

Chalamay.

It's a good word.

It is.

It's a nice name.

It flows nicely off the tongue.

12 a.m.

on the Amalfi Coast, watching the Raptors playing preseason in Edmonton.

Hard.

So we're going to do this on Biden.

It's not hard.

Because there's different depths of description.

Yes.

Why are they playing in Edmonton?

And it's preseason.

There's different depths.

There's things that add character to it.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

For sure.

Representative George Santos was charged with theft for stealing puppies from an Amish dairy farmer.

That's a dud.

That's just a news headline.

That's a dud.

That's just a news headline.

Just spilled an entire box of shallots in the back seat of the Uber.

That could be a hook.

That could definitely be a hook.

That's pretty good.

That's pretty good.

It could be a fing hook.

Young Drazen Petrovich with a great pair of Adidas top tens.

It's the photo of a shirtless young Drazen Petrovich all.

You could just take young Drazen Petrovich with and then put whatever after.

Yep.

This is rap class.

I am taking notes.

Girl, you you got the ass of a young Vladi D.

Vock.

Hell yeah.

With that hard.

Vladi Divak's a smoking.

That's why I would probably mention something about that.

You got the ass of a young Vladi D.

Vock.

It's heavy.

I once mentioned my was thick like John Lovitz.

The critic.

It's one of my favorite actors.

He's thick.

He is.

Multiple C's.

Ashing a sesame bagel like a cigarette in front of a room, but that's just an incredible

cute.

That's a visual right.

That is poetry.

Ashing a sesame bagel.

I love that that's in front of a roombo.

That type of thing that's attached to me, I'm happy about.

Liz will probably be hitting people in the knee with her flute like Tanya Harding.

I actually

did a show where I was the chief support

for

Incubus in LA, which I don't know.

It was a f ⁇ ing 18,000 people sold-out show.

It's an incredible sentence.

All right, exactly.

And

Paris Jackson, Michael Jackson, one step away, was in the dressing room next to me.

And as we walk out to go do the thing, there's this woman in a tuxedo with the tail.

And, you know, she had like very shiny shoes on.

And she was holding something.

And Lizzo was the special guest.

So she was in front of Lizzo's dressing room holding the flute for her.

She had a flute butler.

White glove, flute butler,

white glove, flute butler.

That's a hard line also at the bar watching Japanese youth baseball.

Absolutely.

I would word it differently, but yes, it's hard.

I'm at the club showing women DeMonte Sabonis DHO highlights.

I know his father.

Yeah, of course.

I'd be showing his father.

That would also be weird.

Well, some of those lost tapes, though, not even on VHS of

the visitor.

Oh, yeah, being ahead of his time.

One of the great pastors of all time.

Big men pastors.

Not me getting off at Beetlejuice the Musical.

I like the premise of this.

Well, that actually happened.

To you?

To who?

It was Representative Lauren Bobert, that security video in Black and Veteljuice the Musical?

Yeah.

I love that I am breaking the news to you that Lauren Boebert gave like her data hand job at through the pants at Beatle Juice Musical in like Colorado.

Doesn't count.

Yeah, fair.

What are we in sixth grade?

Hand job through the pants.

She should be ashamed of herself.

That was not the takeaway for most people, but I see where you're coming from.

Doing lines off a Nintendo Switch in the back of a Hyundai Sonata.

Yeah, I mean, I feel like they're tapping into things like that.

I would want to say.

We got big men doing cartwheels on our offense.

Yeah.

Hard.

I saw Fox fox eating sour cream and cheddar

nah i like the idea of this though using animals in alliteration yes is that the right term where they're speaking as human oh that's anthropomorphizing anthropomorphizing what is alliteration that's when the words in a row have the same first letter that was totally off

Got the letter A right.

That was

alliteration or alliteration?

Alliteration.

What is eliteration?

I don't think that's a thing.

I bet you it is.

Someone Google that.

All right, that's it.

I'm getting the f ⁇ out of here.

I got to go eat, bro.

I'm done.

Action Bronson, thank you for being

everything I had hoped for.

Can I kiss your hand?

No, you're not, but you're going to hug me hard.

Okay, bro.

You're going to hug me hard when it gave me brief.

So, what I found out today is why listening to Action Bronson makes me happy.

And it's one of the first things I told him, right?

Your music makes me feel good.

And the reason why, it turns out, is because he embodies this contradiction between this abiding, deep seriousness

and also the exact opposite.

Often at the same time,

Acton Bronson loves a high-stakes scenario decorated with lowbrow details.

He makes music for

Don Corleone.

If Don Corleone

also loved the NBA,

he is somebody who makes music to listen to while walking around New York City because New York City is the greatest city in the world.

That also at times is aggressively the opposite,

which is why it is worth celebrating.

And so here Pablo Torre finds out a New York show that has just introduced Action Bronson to Accidental Bronson, reflecting our capacity individually to spontaneously embody this very contradiction, no matter where you are on this planet.

We wanted to send you into your weekend, into your wanderings around wherever you are, with just something to

listen to.

12 a.m.

on the Amalfi Coast watching the Raptors playing preseason in Edmonton.

Young Drazen Petrovich with a great pair of Adidas top tens.

Hard.

Girl, you got the ass of a young Vladi Devak.

Not me getting off at Betelgeuse, the musical or at the bar watching Japanese youth baseball.

We got big men doing cartwheels on our offense, just spilled an entire box of shallots

in the back seat of the Uber, ashing a sesame vague like a cigarette in front of a Ruba.

Yes, and I'm putting him in a hospital doing lines off a Nintendo Switch in the back of a Hyundai Sonata.

Yeah, it could be a fing hook.

I once mentioned my was thick like John Lovitt's.

Multiple C's.

All right, that's it.

I'm getting f out of here.

I gotta go eat, bro.

Hard and not hard.

Hard and not hard.

And on that note,

Pablo Torre finds out could not be produced without Michael Antonucci, Ryan Cortez, Sam Daewig, Juan Galindo, Patrick Kim, Neely Lohman, Rachel Miller-Howard, Ethan Schreier, Carl Scott, Matt Sullivan, Chris Tumanello, as well as studio engineering by RG Systems, post-production by NGW Post, our theme song by John Bravo, as always.

And for now,

we're going to go on a walk, but

we'll talk to you soon.