Masters With Ryan Whitney & Kirk Minihane, OJ Simpson Dead, Shohei's Forensic Accounting Has Come Back + Fyre Fest Of The Week

1h 55m

OJ Simpson is Dead. We talk Masters round 1 and Bryson is back (00:00:00-00:17:18). Shohei Ohtani's forensic accounting came back and we discuss what actually happened (00:17:18-00:28:55). Kentucky has a new basketball coach and it's Mark Pope after everyone else said no (00:28:55-00:42:52). Ryan Whitney and Kirk Minihane join the show in studio to talk Masters, favorite current players, Augusta memories and more (00:42:52-01:30:09). We finish with an all time Fyre Fest as Hank accidentally slept until 1130 in the morning (01:30:09-01:53:37).


You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take

Press play and read along

Runtime: 1h 55m

Transcript

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Speaker 2 paired with their classic Vermont cheddar or creamy Munster cheese, are sure to score big and help me elevate my entertainment every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 2 Seriously, guys, it's a game-changing flavor for every gathering. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 1 On today's part in my take, we have our good friends Ryan Whitney and Kirk Minahan in studio to talk some masters, what we like this weekend, just

Speaker 1 the pomp and circumstance of Augusta. Great time with those guys.

Speaker 1 We are going to talk about some death. We're going to talk about the masters first round.
We also have a new coach of Kentucky. We have some details on the Shohei case.

Speaker 1 And then we have a Fire Fest you're not going to want to miss. You can miss it.
You're not going to want to miss it if you are.

Speaker 1 Someone.

Speaker 2 Well, if we're doing power rankings of this episode, a part of my take,

Speaker 2 I've got Hank as my sleeper.

Speaker 1 Yeah, big-time sleeper.

Speaker 1 Also, if you are just someone who likes to watch Hank suffer,

Speaker 1 the new PM TV is out as well. So Firefest and new PM TV is kind of your Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 Either way, let's get to the show.

Speaker 3 This college football season, we are feeling the cheesiest with Cheez-It, the ultimate irresistible football watching snack. Cheez-It brings 100% real cheese and deliciousness to every game.

Speaker 3 Fuel your game day cravings with cheesy, crunchy, salty deliciousness. And fuel your Cheese It fandom at cheeseit.com.
Use code stool25 for 20% off your order.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then I love the salt work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out on washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can game all on the sound. Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher

Speaker 1 Oh, we gonna rock down to Electric

Speaker 1 present about Marshall Sports

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by DraftKings Sportsbook use code take right now and you can bet five bucks to get $150 instantly in bonus bets only at DraftKings Sportsbook with code TAKE.

Speaker 1 Today is Friday, April 12th, and this is the first part of my take

Speaker 1 without O.J. Simpson as a listener.
How about that? Longtime AWL, O.J. Simpson.
Big time.

Speaker 2 Remember when we almost interviewed him? Yeah. He was getting let out of prison for the memorabilia?

Speaker 1 I think we've told this story, but PFT and I were approached and told that there was an ad deal where we would literally be in a van picking him up from prison.

Speaker 1 And we both were like, ah.

Speaker 1 we usually don't know where the line is um that was a pretty clear line to me it never got to the point it never it was it was just a thought starter that was presented to us so it never got to the point where we could officially say no but we were definitely leaning like i don't think this is the best that episode would be doing numbers right now yeah we might have we might have if it had gotten official we we might have done it yeah because it remember it no no it was presented to us but it never got to the point where we're like you got to give us a yes or no if we had gotten to that point

Speaker 2 we might have said yes i I don't think we, I think we shut it down pretty quick, if I remember, because we were like, you know what?

Speaker 1 Let someone else.

Speaker 1 He is a murderer. Yeah, let's

Speaker 1 do it.

Speaker 2 Listen, we'll have Dan Bilzerian on. He hasn't killed anyone that we know of.

Speaker 2 But OJ was a bridge too far for us. The big news is it's finally okay to donate to cancer curing charities now again.
Yes. Because now there's no chance that money goes to help OJ.

Speaker 1 OJ, yeah. And so, yeah,

Speaker 1 it's weird because OJ Simpson, there's not many deaths, especially, you know, people that are getting up there in age where you're like, oh, shit. But O.J.
Simpson is a, oh, shit. Like, oh, O.J.
died.

Speaker 1 And guess what? The best part, well, yeah, the best part of

Speaker 2 his death. I can't pick just one.

Speaker 1 Okay, but here's one. Okay.
If you tune into the Fire Fest today, you actually get to hear Hank's reaction

Speaker 1 to O.J.'s death because he didn't find out for about

Speaker 1 eight hours after. Eight hours afterwards.
Eight hours after.

Speaker 2 He got to break the news to Hank Live, and he pulled the Donald Trump.

Speaker 1 What's this? What's this? What you're saying? I haven't heard of that. It's the first I've heard of this.

Speaker 2 It was great. It was a great moment for the show.

Speaker 2 I actually found out from Jeff D. Lowe this morning because I was doing something on my computer.
I was doing some paperwork.

Speaker 2 And Jeff texted me, and it was like 20 minutes before the news became official. And it just said, did OJ die? And I was like, what? And he's like, look at his Twitter.

Speaker 2 I unfortunately am blocked by O.J. Simpson on Twitter, so I could not access that.
We got to get you unblocked.

Speaker 1 But I get, yeah.

Speaker 2 You know what? Now that he's dead,

Speaker 2 I'd like his corpse to unblock me. But I guess he broke, his Twitter broke the news, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, his Twitter broke the news. And Jeff Jeff D.
Lowe is our resident black and white picture, like, you know, in Memoriam guy. Yeah, did he have one ready to go for all of us?

Speaker 1 I think he had one ready to go for. I think he has one ready to go for all of us, which is pretty crazy somewhere in those files.

Speaker 1 Say what you will about OJ, but he was a way, way better football player than person. Yes, yes.
Not even close.

Speaker 2 Absolutely. I'd say Hernandez, OJ Simpson, two guys you can definitively say that about.

Speaker 1 Way better at football.

Speaker 2 So much better at all. Mike Bowler.

Speaker 1 So, so much better.

Speaker 2 2,000 yards in 14 games. Yeah.
But you know what realized after OJ died? The Bills haven't made the Super Bowl since he committed double murder. That was the year.

Speaker 2 1994, the Bills play in the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 1994. Do you have the Super Bowls lined up right? Like, which year?

Speaker 2 I believe it was in the year 1994.

Speaker 1 I like this.

Speaker 2 OJ killed his wife and Ron Goldman in 1994. Bills have not been back to the Super Bowl.
This might be good things for the Bills.

Speaker 1 Unless. It might be a good thing for the Bills.

Speaker 2 Do you think there's any chance the Bills have a helmet sticker that says OJ on it for next year?

Speaker 1 I would say no. Probably not.
I would say no. That feels like that's not going to happen.
Probably not.

Speaker 2 I wonder if Cancer will get acquitted of murder in this case.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Yeah.
So, yeah, 19, yeah, my birthday, 1994, was the Bills' last Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 And then the murder was 1994. Sometime in 94.

Speaker 2 Yeah, summer 94. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wow. Okay.

Speaker 1 So see you, OJ. See ya.

Speaker 2 Peace, man. Moment of silence for for OJ.
Not

Speaker 2 roasted him.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then, yeah, this was Twitter was having a way with it.
Yeah, June 12th, 1994. Okay, so yeah.

Speaker 1 I think the word.

Speaker 1 I think the word complicated. They haven't played a football season.
Like, they hadn't even played the next football season. Oh, that's what I'm saying.
It was right after the last year.

Speaker 1 Last time, yeah.

Speaker 2 The word complicated was trending on Twitter for a little bit today because everyone was

Speaker 2 struggling to figure out a word to frame, because you don't want to make fun of the dead or you don't want to insult the dead, excuse me. Right.

Speaker 2 If you're a reputable news source. So all these places were saying, O.J.
Simpson, a complicated man with a complicated legacy.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just say what we said. Way better football player than person.

Speaker 2 He's so good at football.

Speaker 1 Which always, we've said it before, but it is very funny whenever someone says any of that with the other way around. Yeah.
Like that J.J. Watt is a better person than he is a football player.
No.

Speaker 1 No, no.

Speaker 1 He's one of the best football players of all time. So good at football.
He's incredible at football.

Speaker 2 Brother is almost a better football player than he is a person.

Speaker 2 He puts two more seasons together.

Speaker 1 No, the perfect one. Will Compton is a better person than he was a football player.
Oh, 100%. Yeah.
It's easy. Yeah.
That's easy. All right.
Other things we got. We got a lot.
Masters.

Speaker 1 Bryson D. School.
Oh, is that one more?

Speaker 2 One more thing with O.J. Yeah.

Speaker 2 People are asking me about it, so I'll address it right here. I got into a little tiff with Jose Conseco online.

Speaker 1 I saw that.

Speaker 2 And it was because when OJ died, I said R.I.P to O.J. Simpson, heaven just got a great running back.
Jose Conseko was was like, wait a second.

Speaker 2 OJ's not in heaven.

Speaker 1 Yeah, did you mean hell?

Speaker 2 Good one, Jose. Using that brain of yours.

Speaker 1 You can't get anything by him.

Speaker 2 No, smart guy. So he called me out on it, and I just roasted him.

Speaker 2 I made fun of Jose Conseco.

Speaker 2 And then he came back at me, put up a picture of me looking awesome in Jinko jeans. He thought he was owning this.

Speaker 1 I thought the other picture was awesome, too.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the other picture was great. I had a full head of hair.
It was young and spry, Richie Incognito on my shoulder. And then I told him, shut the fuck up, bitch.

Speaker 2 And then he said that he would kick my ass. I reminded him that Billy Football beat the fuck out of him

Speaker 2 in about 20 seconds. Excuse me.
Congressman Billy Football beat the fuck out of him in about 20 seconds. He wants to get in the ring with me.
And

Speaker 2 I'll give you some facts real quick about Jose Conseco.

Speaker 2 He's not allowed to fight. No.
By decree of the state of West Virginia.

Speaker 1 And also by the decree of Barstool Sports.

Speaker 2 His fat ass is looking for a payday because he's out of cash right now.

Speaker 1 He literally is like, he looked at his calendar. He was like, oh, shit, I'm going to just try to beef with someone at Barstool again and get some money.

Speaker 2 His fat old ass is protected by the same laws that govern your ability to not hunt out of season or to like beat up a puppy.

Speaker 2 That's in the eyes of the state of West Virginia, his health is so bad that he is a protected class of citizen

Speaker 2 and is not allowed to fight.

Speaker 1 Elder abuse.

Speaker 2 He got cut off in West Virginia from fighting. That's very, very hard to do.
Very hard to do. It's like getting cut off at the bar in Dublin.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So, you know, as far as OJ goes, or excuse me, as far as Jose goes, I saw Frank the Tank get involved in a little bit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, they're enemies.

Speaker 2 I think Frank the Tank will be my champion in this fight if it does go to that level. I'll have Frank kick his ass.

Speaker 1 Yeah, anyone could. And also, we can't because we're never going to pay him another dollar.

Speaker 2 Not another dime.

Speaker 1 Not a time back. All right, Masters.
Bryson DeChambo is back. Leads the Masters after one round.
Minus seven, although we haven't played the whole first round, Max Holman could still lead the Masters.

Speaker 2 Max trotted four under in the front nine.

Speaker 1 And he got screwed by the wind.

Speaker 2 He got screwed by the wind and the sun today. All the elements coming after Max, and

Speaker 2 he's in shape. He's in good shape.
He's never shot four under, I think,

Speaker 2 in a round in August on the front nine. So he's off to the best start of his career.

Speaker 1 He is. And we'll get into it more with Whitney and Kirk.
But I think I'm at the point now where I like seeing Bryson back in the mix.

Speaker 1 Brooks squashed the beef, so as we have to respectfully squash the beef as well.

Speaker 1 Bryson also feels like he's, you know, maybe changed a little bit, loosened up a little bit. He did have a funny quote, though, talking about everyone who's been in his corner.

Speaker 1 He said, it's been really awesome to see how I can affect a lot of people's lives, junior golfers' lives, middle-aged men, even if they're coming out shouting, thanks for the content, appreciate what you do online.

Speaker 1 There's no way someone shouted, appreciate what you do online. I think he's got a pretty active YouTube channel.

Speaker 4 I watch his video.

Speaker 1 Appreciate what you do online.

Speaker 1 Thanks for the content I get. You think someone yelled, appreciate what you do online? Yeah.
Okay. They're going to start saying that to you guys now, as they should.
That's fine. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I feel like that's a lot of

Speaker 1 words that you wouldn't really shout. You should be like, yo, thanks.
A big fan. So

Speaker 2 as good of a golfer as Bryson is, as much as he's accomplished on the course, hearing thanks for the content, appreciate what you do online has to hit a little bit different than all that.

Speaker 2 Hey, I love your game. No, thanks for the content.
You're like, yeah, this guy gets me. Yeah.
So I put Bryce in that camp of he's making he makes people mad. And he's interesting.

Speaker 2 I have an opinion about him. So it's going to make the game more interesting.
Yeah, he is interested. I don't want him to win, but it would be interesting if he stuck around.

Speaker 1 I want him in the mix.

Speaker 1 We also had Scotty Scheffler, who's always in the mix, looking incredible. As always, he's minus six, second place.

Speaker 1 The person who stole the show today was Jason Day's pants.

Speaker 1 Jason Day's parachute pants, they look like they came right out of Max's closet. You guys don't know fashion.
Jason Day knows fashion. That's a fact.

Speaker 1 I like this from him, by the way, because everyone's going one way. Everyone's getting the tight pants, the in-seam, all that shit.
He's going the opposite way, throwback.

Speaker 1 He looks like he's about to be drafted in the 2003 NBA draft. I like it.

Speaker 2 Did you guys see Tigers pants from like 1997?

Speaker 1 Yeah. They were like that, too.

Speaker 2 Yeah. When he was at the peak of his power.

Speaker 1 We're not.

Speaker 1 Baggy pants are what is in right now with the young kids.

Speaker 4 Hank? Right. The company that he signed with Malvin Goff has sick, sick gear.

Speaker 1 But wait, isn't Jason Day like our age?

Speaker 2 He's cool, though. He's 36.

Speaker 1 He is cool. But he just

Speaker 4 signed an apparel deal with this company who's like the

Speaker 4 hot gear company. Okay.

Speaker 1 So we got to get baggy pants. Already got some.

Speaker 1 Already got a couple pairs. Shit.
All right. I never pants it up.

Speaker 2 Never really got into skinny jeans that much.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah. Why wouldn't I?

Speaker 1 I think every,

Speaker 1 I'll speak for myself.

Speaker 1 I've attempted and they never made it out of my house.

Speaker 1 I remember I've, I've, actually, I think I've done it twice where I've bought like black, skinny-ish jeans, put them on, and then immediately threw them out. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Didn't even make them out of my bedroom because I was like, what are you doing, dude?

Speaker 1 You ever have those moments where you're like, I'm going to do something I haven't done my entire life with fashion. and then you almost immediately like, Yeah, that's why I haven't done it.

Speaker 1 Doesn't work for me, does not work for me, will not work. Can't win with it, yeah, there's can't do it.

Speaker 2 I think that certain fads out there, certain trends are just set up as a joke by the industry to be like, We'll see what these suckers will pay for and start wearing.

Speaker 2 I think the entire skinny jeans movement was like that. You can't look, in my opinion, you can't look tough wearing skinny jeans, yeah, like watching King Vaughan videos and he's wearing skinny jeans.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I could take that guy, yeah, you gotta have middle-of-the-road jeans. The other one I do is the remember the fad with the like really thin fabric shirts, like t-shirts? Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 That one didn't work either. What was that, Hank?

Speaker 4 I wasn't expecting a King Vaughan reference.

Speaker 2 He wore skinny jeans.

Speaker 1 He wore skinny jeans, Hank.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I just didn't know you were familiar with

Speaker 1 the lore? Yeah, with the lore.

Speaker 2 You think I don't know about Oblock?

Speaker 1 You don't think we know about that shit?

Speaker 2 Let me tell you a true story real quick, Hank.

Speaker 1 Let's kill it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, so yeah, and then Tiger looked okay. Although now he's got to play 25 holes? He looked pretty good.
23 holes?

Speaker 2 He looked pretty good, but like a lot of the golfers that teed off later in the day, they got fucked over by the weather because when they started, they started a little bit late, right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 So the first guys that went out there, they got the nice soft greens. The real real

Speaker 2 wasn't as windy. Then the wind comes in, dries it out a little bit.
I don't think that we're going to see minus sixes, minus sevens tomorrow.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I think so.
So we need, and Brooks was, Brooks is fine.

Speaker 2 Brooks is fine. He's good.

Speaker 1 He's even through like 10.

Speaker 2 He's going to be fine. John Rahm didn't look great today, but Scotty Schuffler does just look like it's a destiny.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 It looks like he is locked in on all accounts.

Speaker 1 I just want a really good ending. And also everyone who bet on Xander Shaffley, which was literally everyone in America, not the best start.
He was the guy who everyone,

Speaker 1 I probably got that tip a hundred times. Xander Shaffley.
I think he went from like 20 to 1 to like 14 to 1.

Speaker 2 Do you think Brooks was pissed off that everything got delayed so much today? Yes. It's like the weather was one big

Speaker 2 One big Patrick Cant lay for him.

Speaker 1 For sure. It was definitely, he wanted to get right to it.
All right, before we do the other two topics that we have.

Speaker 1 That?

Speaker 5 That's the sound of extremely processed dog food, which is the norm at most pet food companies. But at the farmer's dog, we do things differently.
We gently cook our food without ultra-processing.

Speaker 5 It's developed by our team of board-certified nutritionists, made to human-grade safety standards and portioned for your dog, then delivered right to your door.

Speaker 1 How does that sound to you?

Speaker 5 Get 50% off your first box. Available only at thefarmersdog.com.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Other big story.

Speaker 1 We have a shocking, not shocking, but shockingly quick, seemingly resolution to the Shohei Otani story. The forensic accountants, I always trusted in those guys.
They fucking did it.

Speaker 1 They did their work.

Speaker 2 I don't think they have the whole story yet.

Speaker 1 So you still think Shohei was betting?

Speaker 2 I don't know what was going on. He might not have been betting, but I think there's some other wrinkles that might come out of this.

Speaker 1 Okay, so the story comes out that Ipe is now going to be prosecuted.

Speaker 1 It's also part of a prosecution of the gambling ring. So, that's how this all kind of came to light.

Speaker 1 Shohei sat down for a couple interviews with the IRS and maybe the FBI, handed over his cell phone, went through his cell phone, didn't find any text messages with epe about betting.

Speaker 1 More stories come out that epe essentially, when Shohei moved to America, epe helped him open up his bank account,

Speaker 1 basically kept him isolated from his agent, from his financial advisor, because the IRS and everyone interviewed those people as well, and they're like, yeah, we never had access to a lot of this stuff because Ipe said that Shohei wanted to be a private person.

Speaker 1 So he essentially isolated Shohei, what the story is saying. He isolated him to a point where he could take advantage of him, changed his phone settings so he didn't get alerts when the bank

Speaker 1 transactions were done.

Speaker 1 And then there's also the text messages that we get from epei and the bookie.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I happen to think that this guy's a scumbag and Shohei didn't do anything wrong, but you can be skeptical. I understand the skepticism.

Speaker 2 I'm definitely still skeptical. Nothing, like, there's nothing that's been proven against Shohei right now, but

Speaker 2 if his his translator was just in charge of all of his shit, then they could do it without Shohei ever talking to this guy using electronic communication. Yeah.
That's that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 Like, Shohei, just because there's no text there and all the stuff was coming from his translator's phone doesn't necessarily mean that Shohei. Now, if again, there's hold on though.

Speaker 2 There's no evidence against Shohei right now.

Speaker 1 So it came out that he lost $40 million.

Speaker 1 He was making, on average, 25 bets a day. If that was Shohei, there had to have been a text message about it.

Speaker 1 There could have been, but there's no way that all those things happen without at least one text message talking about gambling.

Speaker 2 But go back to the first thing you said. He lost $40 million.

Speaker 2 The translator lost $40 million. The translator, I think he won $142 million

Speaker 2 and he lost $182 million.

Speaker 1 He had a gambling.

Speaker 2 Again, I go back to how is a translator able to bet, win, and lose that much money?

Speaker 1 Because he's got a bookie.

Speaker 2 Because he has a bookie, but

Speaker 2 his bookie is not extending credit to just a nobody.

Speaker 1 Right, I know.

Speaker 1 I understand that part. I mean, the text messages were in there of epe in the bookie.
Because I want to say one thing real quick.

Speaker 1 25 bets a day is not that crazy.

Speaker 1 I want to say that. A lot of people were shaming that.
Listen, during college football Saturday, it's not that crazy. Gamble responsibly.
Also, I read those text messages from ePay to the bookie.

Speaker 1 Let's just say

Speaker 1 I've seen those text messages before.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so there was one in particular.

Speaker 1 I'll just leave it at that. I've seen those text messages where he just keeps saying, I need a bump.
I'm so bad at this.

Speaker 1 There was one. Gamble responsibly.
It's legalized now.

Speaker 2 There was one in particular where the report comes out on ESPN on March 20th, and then Ipe texted the bookie and said, Have you seen the reports? The bookie said, Yes, but that's all bullshit.

Speaker 2 Obviously, you didn't steal from him. I understand it's a cover job.
I totally get it.

Speaker 2 Why does he think this is a cover job?

Speaker 1 What do you mean? No, but then

Speaker 1 the next text was Ipe said. Yes, technically, I said.

Speaker 2 Yes, the next text was technically, I did steal from him. It's all over for me.
But the fact that the bookie was replying to Ipe with, I understand it's a cover job. I totally get it.

Speaker 2 What in that report did he see as being the cover job that he totally got?

Speaker 2 Do you think Ipe was telling the bookmaker the entire time, like

Speaker 2 Otani is bankrolling me?

Speaker 1 Probably.

Speaker 1 He probably did. And he, because, because then there's the text from the bookie to Ipe saying, uh, I don't know why you're not returning my calls.

Speaker 1 I'm here in Newport Beach, and I see Otani walking his dog. I'm just going to go up and talk to him and ask him how I can get in touch with you.

Speaker 1 Since you're not responding, please call me back immediately. Yeah.
So he knows that this guy is linked to Shohei, and he probably is like,

Speaker 1 he's going to be good for it because I can just be like, sh you're Shohei's interpreter. I just, the only, like,

Speaker 1 there are people with gambling addictions and that, like, it was kind of sad reading some of that. And I understand he got in way too deep.

Speaker 1 I just don't know the truth, which I think people don't want to believe because it sucks for Shohei, is that Shohei's probably not the smartest and is too trusting.

Speaker 2 He's definitely too trusting if this is the case.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So

Speaker 1 how would they, why would the FBI and the IRS

Speaker 1 like, how would they be covering this up now if this was Shohei? Oh, I know,

Speaker 2 I don't don't think that the FBI and the IRS are covering it up at all. I think that it's more likely that there's a cover-up between Shohei and his translator, Ipe.
Right.

Speaker 2 And the two of them know the truth. I just don't believe.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 2 The two of them know the truth. Nobody else does.
This entire time, it was Ipe's phone that had access to all of Shohei's accounts, and it was completely separated.

Speaker 2 And they never texted back and forth about bets.

Speaker 1 And that way.

Speaker 2 That part of it. Batani was able to do it.

Speaker 1 No sense to me because there's just no way if you're betting 20, if Shohei is betting 25 times a day, there's just no way that he never texted him saying, hey, put this in for me.

Speaker 2 Unless they were smart about it.

Speaker 1 There's just no way because

Speaker 1 Shohei would be sitting in his hotel being like, I want late action on this soccer game that's about to start. If he's betting that volume, he had like...
Because that's a volume that you can't stop.

Speaker 1 You can't be like, oh, I want to put a bet in, but I can't talk to him directly,

Speaker 1 but I know I shouldn't text.

Speaker 1 but as a translator they're together all the time yeah but i'm saying like late night they're sitting in a hotel or shohe's you know somewhere that he's not at that moment 25 bets a day that means you're betting everything yeah that's the only part that like yeah there would be there'd be no chance if you were betting 25 bets a day that it was never put in text there's there's a 0% chance that the FBI is covering up for Shohei Otani right that's that's clear because if you're the FBI if you're the Department of Justice you want nothing more than to catch Shohei Otani in a gambling ring

Speaker 2 That's a career-making case right there.

Speaker 1 I also don't know how you could do 25 bets a day and still be good at baseball.

Speaker 2 That's a lot of work. It's a ton of work.
But again, like, dude,

Speaker 2 this guy gambled $320 million.

Speaker 1 That's total. Total.

Speaker 2 But for a guy that makes $200,000 a year at the most.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know, but if he's making payments, then nothing matters to a bookie. Like, that's the thing, is if he made the payments,

Speaker 1 they're not going to ask questions.

Speaker 2 And so what was Shohei's salary between this like four-year span? It was still

Speaker 1 large. I just think

Speaker 1 I understand the skepticism. I'm not going to 100% be like, yeah, Shohei had no part in any of this.

Speaker 1 I just think that the reality might just be that Shohei is not the brightest and was way too trusting to a guy that he thought was family.

Speaker 1 And it's the perfect crime in the fact that Shohei has no one, like, you're in a...

Speaker 1 A country where no one speaks your language and the one person you're supposed to trust who tells you everything is taking advantage.

Speaker 1 He's in this position where he can be taken advantage of because no one else he can converse with yeah i think that uh there's definitely a chance that show he didn't have anything to do with it that's that's without a doubt a possibility i'm i'm not convinced of it yet how much did he make what does it say 40 i can't read it it's too small 41 954 okay 259 so i guess and maybe showhe probably had some endorsements too maybe he just doesn't check his bank account yeah i don't know i mean he was i read that he was for the longest time his mom was controlling his bank account so it's like there's it definitely felt like Shohei.

Speaker 2 It'd be funny, his mom had a gambling problem, too.

Speaker 1 If it was his mom, the whole time was gambling.

Speaker 2 It was his mom the whole time. Epe's falling on the sword for his mom.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what do you think, Hank?

Speaker 2 I think he was gambling. You do?

Speaker 1 You think Shohei was gambling? Yeah. I think a lot of people are accusing that.
I think they just want the chaos, but I think that's crazy to accuse unless they did a full investigation.

Speaker 1 He's clear, right? Yeah, I mean, I don't always believe in an event. Like, it's not.

Speaker 1 I'm not saying 100% that he's innocent, but I'm definitely leaning towards. Because, I saw those text messages and sounded like a guy who was in way too deep and was very desperate to do anything.

Speaker 2 Let me put this in your head. You've been around a lot of gamblers.
Yes. We work amongst them all the time.

Speaker 2 Is there any chance that Otani didn't know that Ipe had a gambling problem, spending all day, every day with him as Ipe is following his scores, you know, trying to find a bar that has

Speaker 1 gambled. He probably thought he gambled.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, it would be pretty obvious that your buddy was betting on

Speaker 2 UCLA soccer all the time.

Speaker 1 But you don't know his unit. Like, he could just be a stressed-out guy that he thinks he's betting like $1,000 on a game.
Right.

Speaker 1 He could be playing it off, like, yeah, I put $10. I mean, one of the bets was for $10, which I'm dying to know what that one was.
But probably parlay. But that's, but if you.

Speaker 1 That's why I also think that there's no way. I just don't understand how there could not be any text messaging.
Maybe you could say there's a different phone that he didn't hand over.

Speaker 1 Okay, then I'll believe that. But I just, there's no way Shohei was betting 25 times a day and there there was never a single text about gambling to his interpreter.

Speaker 2 There was another funny part of the documents that came out today where they called they called Ipe up.

Speaker 2 The bank did because Ipe was trying to get a wire transfer saying he was going to use it to buy a Porsche. Yeah.
And I think he was asking for a couple hundred thousand dollars.

Speaker 2 And they called him and for whatever reason it got flagged. It was like, no, don't authorize this transfer.
Otani had a massive endorsement deal with Porsche at the time. And

Speaker 2 he was saying he was using it to buy a car.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and there was another one that they found that he was faking to be Otani on the phone.

Speaker 2 That was one of the same ones. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, like, I don't know. Maybe I'm just too trusting in forensic accounting, but shout out to forensic accountants.
They did at least get some good work. They did their job.
Yeah, they did their job.

Speaker 1 And it sucks to be like, because

Speaker 1 the reality is, like, if Shohei was completely innocent, at worst, is like the most embarrassing thing to have that happen to you and everyone be like, dude, what? How did that happen?

Speaker 2 Also, Ipe was a really bad gambler.

Speaker 1 Really bad gambler.

Speaker 2 It sounds like he rode the dog.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we don't, we don't. Yeah, Dan Heron did say that he was following my motor locks.

Speaker 1 It would be funny if it comes out like they do a forensic accounting of his laptop, and he was just watching Barcelona Sports Advisors every week being like, these guys no ball. Like,

Speaker 1 these guys are sharp.

Speaker 2 I want to know

Speaker 2 the worst beat that Ipe had. I saw he had that USC.

Speaker 2 Was it USC? UCLA.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I think they were 11-point favorites over Fresno State and lost outright.

Speaker 2 And that was the one that sent him over the edge, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And that's a late-night game.
Yeah. That's, yep, yeah.
So we'll see. I mean, is it so? Like, what's the next step? He's going to go to, he's going to go to trial.
He's getting prosecuted.

Speaker 2 He's getting prosecuted. Yeah.
So he can face, I think he's facing up to 30 years in prison.

Speaker 1 Also, the fact that Ipe, they looked into his past and he's been lying for a long time does make it seem like it's more realistic that he's just a big fraudster

Speaker 1 and just scamming everyone.

Speaker 1 All right. Last thing.

Speaker 1 Kentucky has a new head coach.

Speaker 2 Congrats.

Speaker 1 And it is not Dan Hurley. And it is not Billy Donovan.

Speaker 2 It's definitely Rick Petino.

Speaker 1 It's not Rick Petino. It's not Nate Oates.
Not Scott Drew.

Speaker 1 Not Scott Drew. He trusts in God.

Speaker 1 God told him to stay at Baylor.

Speaker 2 So, yeah, the exact quote, I actually saved this. He said, We truly believe God has called my family and I to continue our work here at Baylor.

Speaker 2 I just want to remind people of the last guy that said God is commanding them to live in Waco, Texas, and how that turned out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, not great.

Speaker 1 So they got Mark Pope,

Speaker 1 BYU coach, national champion at Kentucky, throwing it back captain of the 1996 Rick Petino-led Kentucky Wildcats.

Speaker 1 You got Mark Pope.

Speaker 2 Got Mark Pope, and Big Blue Nation is not happy.

Speaker 1 I mean, Mark Pope is a good coach, and he does have Kentucky ties, but Big Blue Nation is not happy.

Speaker 2 So if you go back to when we interviewed Matt Jones a couple weeks ago, he was talking about all the qualities they were looking for in a head coach. He wanted a splash.

Speaker 2 He wanted a guy that was, you know, flashy, that was a big personality, big Kentucky, big job. They need a big coach.

Speaker 2 Mark Pope seems like he is underwhelming on every account possible for Kentucky Wildcat fans.

Speaker 1 But you can look at pictures of him with Rick Petino, the 1996 Kentucky Wildcats. Sometimes you've got to go back to move forward.
Mark Pope. It's true.
And Cal looked so weird in red.

Speaker 2 He looked very strange in red. He said that he met with a team.

Speaker 1 Met with a team. The whole team.
Yep.

Speaker 2 How many guys were there? There is no team.

Speaker 1 Okay, no team.

Speaker 1 That, I actually felt bad for Cal there because it was... He was trying to do a punchline and no one bit.

Speaker 2 Didn't get it.

Speaker 1 He's like, I met with a team. There is no team.
And no one fucking bit with it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, now,

Speaker 2 I would venture to say that a lot of Kentucky Wildcat players will be committing to Arkansas, maybe a couple of them. Yeah,

Speaker 1 at least a few.

Speaker 2 I don't see Mark Pope bringing in five-star recruits left and right. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Cow also had this. He said, we got to get a roster together, and some of it is a little bit of everything.

Speaker 1 That's a quote.

Speaker 1 He said, Kentucky is the bluest of blue. There's only a few schools like that, and I hate to tell you, Arkansas is one of them.

Speaker 1 Yep. Okay.
Okay. He also said, I didn't want anything out until after the national championship game that we were even talking because I didn't think that was fair.

Speaker 1 It literally all came out before the national championship game.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it was the night before, I think. Yeah.
So, yeah, he says that Arkansas is a blue blood.

Speaker 1 Yes,

Speaker 1 they are one of them. You know what?

Speaker 2 Cal might be a blue blood.

Speaker 1 He could be.

Speaker 2 I think anywhere he goes, he just brings the blood with him.

Speaker 1 The more that comes out of the Cal exit is very funny because Cal, it seems like he was doing like he was taking one last shot at a power play that almost worked.

Speaker 1 So there's like, I read a couple stories. Also, Trilli Donovan, who's an inside basketball guy, who I think he has a,

Speaker 1 maybe it's a telegram where he sends, he's right about a lot of stuff. And he basically was spelling it out before any of it came out in public.

Speaker 1 He was like, Cal's making a power play with the DePaul, the former DePaul AD, his good friend, to get an offer from Arkansas, then come back to Kentucky and be like, match it, or give me a new deal, and have the fans revolt and get Barnhart out.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay. So it's like.

Speaker 1 And then he'd get his friend in as the AD.

Speaker 2 He got caught in like a game of chickens. Right.

Speaker 2 It's like when George lied to Susan's parents about the house at the Hamptons. He ends up driving all the way out there.
Now he's down in Arkansas.

Speaker 1 I respect the move because it was clear that he and Barnhart were not good friends. So he was trying a last-ditch effort to be like, let's get him out so I can stay.

Speaker 1 And then as soon as it was clear he wasn't going to get out, he's like, all right, I'll go to Arkansas.

Speaker 2 Well, now people want Barnhart out now for hiring pope or pope yeah he should just wait maybe cal to kentucky yes i do think cal's gonna win it in arkansas he's gonna be a good coach in arkansas it's a good basketball school i also think at the same time kentucky they will be fine long term yeah and we don't know shit about ball this guy might end up being a great coach a great fit at kentucky we don't know but it's not it's not like the splash hire that they wanted here's the thing it's it's kind of

Speaker 1 It's it's it's not going to be immediate. Like if you got Danny Hurley, it'd probably be immediate.
If you got Nate Oates, it'd probably be immediate. Even Scott Drew.

Speaker 1 So it might be a little bit more of a build. But one of the complaints that Kentucky fans have had for the last four or five years is, like, we get the recruits, but we don't have coaching.

Speaker 1 Mark Pope can coach. So you get the coaching now.

Speaker 2 Kenny Crute. Kenny Crute.
We don't know that.

Speaker 1 Cal can cruot. He can crude.
He can crude. He's a recruiter.

Speaker 2 They said that.

Speaker 2 Danny Hurley turned down $20 million. Shout out, Danny Hurley.
That's what people in Kentucky are saying. I don't know if that's the right number.

Speaker 2 That would make him, I think Bill Self is the highest paid coach. Yeah.
And he makes 9 million. Yeah.
9.5, I think. So this would more than double.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't know if that number is right, but if it's above 15, that's still a crazy amount of money for him to turn down.

Speaker 1 UConn should be very happy. What did you, Max? You had the inside source.
What was it? It was 15 plus incentives to get to 20. Well,

Speaker 1 that's what Jeff was saying. Oh, 15 plus incentives for...
like I think eight years. It was over 100 mil total

Speaker 2 was the number. I asked Jeff about that too.
But you said, where are you getting this from? He's just like, the guys are saying.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but UConn's going to give him a huge deal. Yes.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's going to get a massive pay raise.

Speaker 1 He's going to get a massive, massive pay raise. And I actually,

Speaker 1 as much as the money would obviously be nice if you're Danny Hurley, I do believe that

Speaker 1 there's something about if you go to Kentucky and you don't win, if you don't go to a Final Four in five years, you're out. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He can coach at UConn for the next 10 years and not go to a Final Four and still be okay. That's what Cal did.

Speaker 1 Cal literally went to his last Final Four was 2015, and the last, whatever, nine years have not been great, especially the last four.

Speaker 1 And he kept his job because he had won before, and he had that leeway with the fan base.

Speaker 2 Yeah, in Arkansas, they'll get to a Final Four at some point.

Speaker 1 I do, too. I think they'll be at a Final Four within like

Speaker 2 four years. He might actually be a better coach now than he was in Kentucky.
Which you've seen or he might be nice.

Speaker 1 I think he's got, it's got to be a little bit of an ego bruise. Yeah.
People that the fan base kind of turned on on you so much.

Speaker 1 So he's going to maybe feel like he's got to prove it again and get and climb back up the mountain because that was Cal for the long, you know, Cal at the start of his Kentucky couldn't have gone better.

Speaker 1 I think he went to four out of five Final Fours, won a national title, could not have gone better. And then it faded because he had been on top of the mountain.
So maybe now he's got to climb back up.

Speaker 2 I want to see John Daly get involved with Arkansas basketball again. See him like the sister gene of Arkansas.
I was. Just wheel him out there.

Speaker 1 I think the sister gene's already, already decided it's the tyson chicken guy you got a standing ovation oh they love that it was incredible i that that is like if you want if you want a sign of like the change in college basketball and nio and all that stuff is entire arena giving the tyson chicken guy a standing ovation no i want i want john daly in a wheelchair with an ivy drip of vodka into his arm yeah just being wheeled out to the balcony in the upper row for the final four he's giving like thumbs ups pregame speeches to everybody drunk off his ass i want to see i want to see arkansas get real weird with with it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what were you going to say, Max? I'm just thinking about this from a Kentucky fan's perspective. If you're willing to give,

Speaker 1 what if the recruiting status

Speaker 1 play is to, I don't know if Mark Pope is a good recruiter, but we're just going to 5X every single NIL coming in. True.

Speaker 1 Because if they're willing to give Danny Hurley $20 million a year and they just brought in Pope for

Speaker 1 what? Probably four? Four? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You have $16 million to work with there.

Speaker 1 So, what if you're like, I'm just going to give multi-million dollar deals to every single person that I want?

Speaker 2 I don't think you're wrong about that,

Speaker 2 but I do think that they're probably not going to have, they're not going to look at the remaining $16 million as being like, well, we've got to spend this anyways, because probably some of the guys with the deep pockets don't have enough faith in Mark Pope to be like, we trust giving him this guy.

Speaker 1 But if you think he's a good coach, then it would make even more sense that you're like, all right, if your worry is recruiting, we'll take care of the recruiting.

Speaker 1 All you have to take care of is coaching basketball because recruiting is different now. It's so much easier to recruit if you have a shit ton of money.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think I hope he works out. I think it'd be a great story if I'm not sure.

Speaker 1 I just think that's a good idea. I think that's like a spin zone for Kentucky fans that like, if this is the thing that you're worried about, this is a different world of going and getting guys.

Speaker 1 The personality of the coach may not matter as much as the pocketbooks of the guys who are making the deals.

Speaker 1 And I think the problem is Kentucky fans, and I understand it, they're like, Mark Pope has not done anything because he hasn't. Like,

Speaker 1 I don't even know if he's won a tournament game. No, he hasn't.
He's not won a tournament game. He's got two tournaments, three CBIs and one NIT.

Speaker 1 So the one thing you could say, though, and I do believe this, is that Mark Pope, you know, BYU going to the Big 12, like you see all the time, teams step up in class and they immediately fall down.

Speaker 1 Like they have a terrible year. BYU had a good year.
They were fifth in the Big 12. Six seeds and lost to Bukes.
Yeah, they competed hard all year.

Speaker 1 So it's like, that's, I think, what you have to sell yourself on. And just look at a bunch of pictures of the 96 Wildcats.
I think that's really what it is.

Speaker 1 So you got to just keep looking at 96 Wildcats pictures.

Speaker 2 Now there's an opening at BYU.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Rick Petino

Speaker 2 be a good fit.

Speaker 1 Reportedly, no contact with Petino, and they did not aggressively pursue Billy D.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Billy D said he wasn't going to go because I think he just realized like, I don't, Jerry Reinsorf will never fire fire me and I don't have to go recruit.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the recruiting thing is big. I would like a professional job to a college job, one is so much easier.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 2 But did they go after Bruce Pearl?

Speaker 2 Did they talk to him? That one.

Speaker 1 I didn't see anything.

Speaker 1 I think Matt Jones said they did not interview Pearl, Beard, and Miller. They did talk to at least two other people besides Pope.
He thinks one was Shaka. He doesn't know who the other was.

Speaker 1 I don't think they, like... Kentucky is a blue blood, and

Speaker 1 I think they would not go after Bruce Pearl because of things in his past.

Speaker 2 But the thing in his past is a cookout.

Speaker 1 I know. It's a barber.
I agree. And also being a snitch.

Speaker 2 Being a snitch.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 But I know his positions on the Middle East. He loves Big Blue Nation.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 They have a weird thing about it where I think they would be like, oh, we're Bruce Pearl. We can't touch that.

Speaker 1 He's a great coach, too. Maybe.
I just can't believe they didn't offer $100 million to Nate Oates. That's the crazy part to me because I don't know if he would turn that down.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 There was also a tweet that Scott Drew put out yesterday where he was in a cafeteria, in a cafe in Waco with like one of the biggest boosters at Baylor.

Speaker 2 But then there was a report that Scott Drew's family flew to Lexington yesterday in the afternoon. Scott Drew didn't go, according to this report, but his family did.

Speaker 2 Like his wife and kids went out there. So maybe his wife and kids went to Lexington.
They were like, no, thanks. Not for us.

Speaker 1 No, thanks. Yeah, that might have been it.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 4 Lexington's nicer than Waco.

Speaker 1 Lexington's incredible.

Speaker 2 I love Lexington. Lexington is a good place.

Speaker 1 Go to Keeneland, October and April.

Speaker 2 Waco is fun if you like three strip malls and a biker shootout.

Speaker 1 And God. Yeah.
Yeah. I like the Chip Gaines, the, was he like a house flipper guy? Yeah.
He got involved.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. No, it's.
Waco is Chip and Joanna Gaines.

Speaker 2 Probably some of RG3's family still lives in the area. And then you have like two Ruby Tuesdays, I think.
Okay. And

Speaker 2 one Twin Peaks.

Speaker 1 I'm getting there.

Speaker 2 One, I think, no, you don't don't have a Tilted Kilt. You might have a Hooters and a Twin Peaks.

Speaker 1 Okay, that works. Yeah.
So you can change it up?

Speaker 2 Yeah, you can switch it up every now and again. The Twin Peaks has like 5,000 bullet holes in it.

Speaker 1 Switch back and forth. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Anything else before we get to Kirkman Han and Ryan Whitney talking more masters?

Speaker 1 Hank, get excited, everyone. The Fire Fest is a great one.
You don't want to miss it. It's a great Fire Fest.

Speaker 2 Set your alarm for the Fire Fest.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Don't sleep in for the Fire Fest.

Speaker 1 Right? Right. Yeah.
All right. Let's kick it to ourselves, then we'll do an interview and then do not miss the Fire Fest.

Speaker 6 The Pro Football Football Show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game.
Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck.

Speaker 6 Whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, the Silverado is one ride that's always game ready. Just like football, it's about grit, grind, and getting it done.

Speaker 6 Head to Chevy.com to learn more and build your own Chevy Silverado.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on two of our very good friends. It is Kirk Minahan from the Kirk Minahan Show and The Unnamed Show and Ryan Whitney from Spit and Chiclets and also The Unnamed Show.

Speaker 1 I want to talk some masters. Both, Kirk is a historian of Augusta.
Whitney is just

Speaker 1 junkie. You golf more than you work.
No, I don't anymore.

Speaker 1 That is a fake... What is the word?

Speaker 1 Narrative. That narrative is...
That's actually the right word. That narrative was true for a long time, and it's not.
So you don't golf a lot anymore? No, but it's actually not because of work.

Speaker 1 Oh, why? Oh, because kids. Kids.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And coaching, and another kid coming. So, yeah, like I used to play a ton of golf, and I don't anymore, and I don't even really want to talk about it.
So, you're very good at putt-putt.

Speaker 1 Yeah, congratulations, by the way. I'm not taking a congratulations.
Congratulations on the business. I'm not taking anything.
I'm not taking a congratulations. I know what you guys are doing.

Speaker 1 Congratulations. And I find it odd that as long as we've been friends, all three of us really, that you guys aren't rooting for me.
I told you I'm rooting for me. I'm rooting for you.

Speaker 1 I don't believe you.

Speaker 1 I'm rooting for you.

Speaker 2 I congratulated you yesterday at 5 p.m.

Speaker 1 Who else would I be? I was the first person. I don't know, but you're saying congratulations before the end of a tournament? That's blatantly trying to

Speaker 1 mush it, trying to ruin it. You think I'm trying to have Stephen Che over you? No, but there's a million others.

Speaker 2 Who do you think I would rather see win than my good friend Ryan Whitney?

Speaker 1 Frank the Tank.

Speaker 2 That's true. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's right. That's fair.
It's fair. In the hunt.
He's headed me, actually, I think. All right, so Masters.

Speaker 1 Well, first, I have a question for you, Kirk.

Speaker 1 We had this problem. You would have been very embarrassed for us.

Speaker 1 They had the green green jacket dinner. We were looking at the guys.
Champions Dinner. Champions Dinner.
Sorry. It's okay.
That's fine.

Speaker 1 If I say the name Wilford Brimley, one of Masters, who would I be talking about?

Speaker 2 I'd say Craig Stadler. Yeah, that was it.

Speaker 1 So I knew you'd nail it. I knew you'd nail it.
We literally stared at him for like 10 minutes, had to Google him, everything. He was in a bunch of guys.
Who is that?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're like, who the hell is it? Wilford Brimley or Craig Stadler? No, I know who Wilford Brimley is. I didn't know who.
Craig Stadler, I think, was in one of the guys in Tin Cup, I think.

Speaker 1 He was.

Speaker 1 He was the guy who gave him the club to give drive

Speaker 1 when McAvoy then fired him.

Speaker 2 Where do we feel about that movie, though?

Speaker 1 Time to do it. I love it.

Speaker 2 I love it too, but I've heard a lot of people say it's like the worst sports movie ever.

Speaker 1 I will say the love it or you can't do that. The course stinks.
I love it.

Speaker 1 If you look at the course, it's awful. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's fine. It's okay.
But for just like a driving range hustler pro,

Speaker 1 when the guy hits it down the road to get all his money. Don Johnson.
Don Johnson, that's right. Classic.
Dave Sims. Still going.
Yep. What, Kirk, if you could rank your top three masters of all time?

Speaker 1 92, Fred Couples wins. That's your guy.
I love that. 98 was a great masters.
Freddie lost to Omir, but that's where Nicholas finished sixth of 58. Ooh.
Tiger was in the middle.

Speaker 1 Tiger and Nicholas were on the leaderboard at the same time. That's the beauty of the masters.
Time stands still. Yep.
Third. I mean,

Speaker 1 Tiger winning, I'm a huge Tiger fan, but Tiger winning in 19 was. And I'd say 86 was my first one I really remember with my dad, Nicholas, winning in 86.
Yeah. He was old then, too, wasn't he? 46.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Wow.

Speaker 2 You love Freddie Couples.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's a friend of mine. I love him.

Speaker 2 How did you start... I'm I'm always curious about that, whether it's like a golfer or a NASCAR driver or just like an individual player in a sport.

Speaker 2 How do you like fall in love and you're like, I'm going to root for that guy?

Speaker 1 It was weird for me, too, because Larry Bird, I was like six years old. Fred Couples, I was like 17.
I just watched him on TV. I thought his swing was great.
It's beautiful. I liked his attitude.

Speaker 1 I like the whole thing. He's cool.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Boom, boom. He was my guy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's hard to define.

Speaker 1 Do you like that he does like the green ball? Yellow ball. I play with that now.
You do? Yeah. Is he playing this year? He's playing right now, yeah.
Yeah. He's like wounded, too.
He's back around 60.

Speaker 1 He's 64. When your favorite player is 64 and everyone there is

Speaker 1 watching the leaderboard and I'm on the phone watching Fred Couples at 64. Yeah.
It's two different things.

Speaker 2 Is he still wearing those big khakis all the time, like the Tracy McGrady suit? No, he's like.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and he's not wearing the Echoes anymore, though. Yeah, the skater shoes.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 He is cool. So how long do you think he's going to play for?

Speaker 1 If I were a Masters Champion, I'd play till they... 100.
Made me. They They can't kick you out.
Yeah, right. But they do tell you to stop playing.
They send you a letter.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah. The first hole there has a hill.
How much they get us to clear that hill? To get it to the top? Yeah. Probably 300.
No. 90.
Yeah. And some of these guys.

Speaker 1 Some of these guys now. Like, once you can't even get to the beginning of the hill, they write you a letter.

Speaker 2 They're like, yeah, like.

Speaker 1 I didn't know they wrote a letter. As far as Arnold got the letter one year.
Really? And what does the letter say? You're done. It's like, in their way, like, hey, you're a great champion.

Speaker 1 You've meant so much to the community. It's like when your boy used to knock on the door of the Hall of Fame guy.
Yeah, yeah. He'd be like, thank you so much for what you've done to the game.

Speaker 1 And then like, you can't play here anymore. The best story about that is Billy Casper one.

Speaker 1 And then he kept playing and playing and playing. And then one year he shot 105.

Speaker 1 He didn't, 105, he didn't post the score. Yeah.
He just never turned in his card. And that was it.
Oh, that's great. 105.

Speaker 1 The problem with that is, I will say, like, if you're...

Speaker 1 a competitive tour player and you get paired with Billy Casper. Right.
And the guy shot. It's like when I was playing Frank Frank, it's like I was playing with with Frank the other day.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Obviously, it took me a while to react to it, like about a day, but it does break you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That makes sense. I think some of the guys, too, want to make sure they don't get the letter.
Like, I got to go up before I get the letter. Yeah, right, because that has to be a blow to your ears.

Speaker 1 Most guys,

Speaker 1 you don't really see that anymore. No.
So do you? Well, they all smash it now. Everyone

Speaker 1 continues. Now the distance, everyone hits it.
So even the old guys, they smash the ball. So do you think Freddie Couples will get the letter? No, I think he's too smart.

Speaker 1 Next year, it'll be his 40th masters. He'll be 65.
I think that's going to be. That's it.
That's going to be one of the six or seven worst days of the world. And he's made the cut a bunch of times.

Speaker 1 He had a cut last year. Yeah.
Oldest guy ever to make the cut. He was 63 years, five months, and like 14 or 15 days.
Jesus.

Speaker 1 Especially because Tiger can't.

Speaker 1 Tiger can't make the cut. Tiger's not making the cut this year.
You don't think so? No. I bet on him, too.
I bet on him.

Speaker 1 He might. I mean, the thing about the Masters is, though, if you're doing cuts and missed cut bet, like, the field's smaller, and they're a bunch of old guys and a bunch of amateurs.
Right.

Speaker 1 It is is the easiest cut, oddly, to make in golf. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I didn't realize it. Hardest tournament, easiest cut.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's not a hard time. Not even the hardest tournament.
It's not a hard tournament, I don't think.

Speaker 1 It's the U.S. Open.
Yeah. A tough U.S.
Open, even the Open Championship is tougher, I think. PGA is tougher now, I think.
The field's harder.

Speaker 1 So this is the, I think it's the best tournament, but it's the oddly the easiest cut to make if you're a good pro.

Speaker 1 So I think Tiger, like, honestly, down to my head, I think Tiger, probably 50-50, right?

Speaker 1 I think it's 50-50 if he like finishes. It's the other thing.
When he plays golf. He can't walk.
The weather's good, though, it seems like right now. So, Kirk and I have been lucky enough to go there.

Speaker 1 Have you guys been there? No.

Speaker 2 I kind of like the fact that we'll probably never go.

Speaker 1 I want to go. I was saying, but you could go.
Yeah, I want to go. I was saying to Dave,

Speaker 1 I thought even if you don't like golf, you just get there.

Speaker 1 It is insane. The hills and the undulation.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 On TV, you're like, oh, it's like you get out there. You're like, the 10th hole, it's got to be 200 yards down for this.
And

Speaker 1 18's right next next to it same way so the walk for tiger like the guy can't walk on the range i know yeah

Speaker 1 we asked max about that and he was like yeah it's actually it's more daunting than you realize when you're because i watch like look at that like that's probably even crazier in person yeah you guys got max homan to go on the podcast yeah crazy

Speaker 1 are you turning

Speaker 1 the j.d salinger

Speaker 1 i i the problem is i do like him but yeah i think he has that he has that rory disease that a lot of people a lot of people have this he wants to be liked too much he's a very nice guy yeah i'm glad he's friends with you you guys, but I want him to be more of an asshole because I think assholes win these things.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So are you, speaking of an asshole who we also like, and Whitney has actually turned the corner on him, are you on Team Brooks now? Well, I have to, well, unfortunately, I have to be.

Speaker 1 He was part of, he took my side in the Ryder Cup. Right.

Speaker 1 Oh, he did? Yeah, yeah. Which was five.

Speaker 1 I was right. I mean, I didn't know that.
The Ryder Cup. He took my cup.
He got the Ryder Cup. The Ryter.
The Ryter Cup. The Ryter Cup.
Yes. Like O.J.
Simpson was a writer. Like, if I did it.

Speaker 1 Right, exactly. Yeah, great book.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he took my side on that. And he did something else.
He had my back on something else, too. I forget what it was.
I was with him on something.

Speaker 1 I also think you liked that he was still competing in the Ryder Cup. Yes.

Speaker 1 When the U.S. was very much out, and that Max as well.
They both were like, no, we're going out with a fight.

Speaker 1 He beat Ludwig. Yeah, we're not going to let them just walk over us.
And he did lose 9-8 to him in the four-ball. But so I don't know.

Speaker 1 I keep doing this with Bryce, and I was talking to Whitney about it. I don't remember what times I'm going to get fooled by

Speaker 1 Brooks playing bad in some live-event. Who cares? Right.
But he was terrible last week. I think he was 78, 78 or something.
Yeah, in the second two rounds. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Which should matter, but for him, I don't think it matters. We'll find out today, but he's playing terrible, but he's always playing terrible before majors.

Speaker 2 Right. He's got such a crazy resume.
I think actually the worse that he plays going to the masters, the better. And you might be right.
Because he's just thinking about the masters.

Speaker 1 He's probably hitting shots at Doral, thinking of the 13th of the game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm going to try. I'd pay $200 million to do it.
I saw a piece he did with golf.com or something, and the guy's basically on the range with him. And he's like, What are you thinking right now?

Speaker 1 He's like, Nothing. Nothing.
Yeah, nothing.

Speaker 1 And it's like, golf's like, it's a fucked-up sport. The more you think, the worse you are.
And the guy just steps up and smashes it and loves being the bad guy.

Speaker 1 That's like when I met him, I was like, oh, this could be kind of awkward.

Speaker 1 I got to tell him, like, I've chirped you five million times. Right.
And he's like, I love that, dude. I love, I kind of love being the bad guy.
Like, he was just, he doesn't give a shit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Who does? Who do you like? Who do I like? Yeah, who are your favorite guys? I like Zal Torres a lot. This Ludwig guy from Sweden is like my new favorite golfer.

Speaker 4 He's great, great, great.

Speaker 1 He's just, he's like built in a lab. Perfect swing.
Stallion, 6'3. Like, I think he's going to end up being a true superstar.
Oh, there's Freddy. I like him.
Freddy's right there. So, all right.

Speaker 1 How's he looking? I had a question about this field.

Speaker 1 Scotty Scheffler is obviously the favorite by a large, large margin. What is it about Scotty Scheffler that has him that much ahead of everyone else?

Speaker 1 His stats, like pure golf stats, T the green, are as good as

Speaker 1 better than anybody since Tiger in his prime.

Speaker 1 I think matching him at some point. I'm talking like 2,000 Tiger Prime.
Right.

Speaker 1 And if he putts well, he's going to be in the top two or three. He may not win, but if he doesn't putt well, he's going to finish like eighth.
Not to disagree, I think it's if he putts average.

Speaker 1 Right, right. That's what I mean.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's just putter is the only thing that stops him.
Yeah, and then Rory, which is kind of crazy to me.

Speaker 1 This is what Kirk's saying, liking an asshole. Like, in golf, I would never give anyone a tip or a pointer.
Right. And Rory was on the broadcast.
Disgusting.

Speaker 1 And he's like, I think Scotty should go to a mallet putter. Yeah.
Yeah. And he did, and now he's putting good.
It's like, Rory, did you Michael Jordan say? Yeah. No, that's crazy.
It's crazy.

Speaker 1 No, it's a game of honor, I guess.

Speaker 1 But Michael Jordan would buy Scotty Scheffler a new blade putter. Right.

Speaker 1 This is awesome. Yeah, right.
This will fix everything. Yeah.
There are weeks where Scheffler is first to the green, first around the greens, and like 118th in putting.

Speaker 1 And so he's that good that even with that bad a putting, he's still.

Speaker 1 He'll putt bad and finish like horrible and finish eighth. It's crazy.

Speaker 2 What's up with his footwork? At some point, you would think that somebody would beat that out of him.

Speaker 1 I think growing up he's a fan of the future. I think he tried to.
Yeah. Maybe.

Speaker 1 And he's probably like, and then I bet you there was a coach. It's like, hey, don't fuck with it.

Speaker 1 I think the better question is, why isn't somebody else doing it? Yeah. Like, he does it and like he's.
You think someone will compare anybody.

Speaker 2 But he does it different every stroke. That's true.
Yeah. It's not like he repeats the exact same thing.

Speaker 1 He finds a new way to to fuck his feet up it's it's like shooter mcgavin like trying the happy gilmore in the woods yeah probably been on the range like trying it they just don't want to ever have it be on camera yeah what so kirk because you you obviously are i like him a lot of sorry not playing well he's not playing well this year yeah i like him a lot he was awesome at the end of last year so you're you're a historian of the masters what how many times do you think a guy has to play it till they get that like advantage of i know this course because like even when we're talking about tiger missing the cut or making the cut uh you have to think Tiger has a couple strokes just on familiarity.

Speaker 1 He knows the way around. Right.
I'd say when you get to like year 10. Oh, it takes that long.
I think that's the first time. I think the year of the first time winner is Fuzzy Zeller.

Speaker 1 Other than the first year of it,

Speaker 1 he's the only, yes, 79. He's the only one.
He beat Ed Sneed in the playoff, I think. Yeah, he's the only one.
And then he had a tough quote tonight. Yeah.
Still alive versus Friday.

Speaker 1 Social media today, that would

Speaker 1 give me a moment.

Speaker 1 He's selling vodka now. Is he? Oh, yeah.
He's doing well. Don't put me in that boat.
Yeah, put me in that boat. That's got a lot in common.

Speaker 1 Don't put me in that boat. Yeah, so you think 10th time, it's that like there's that many quirks and weird things? Yeah, it's just, it's, yes, yeah.
To become like an established veteran, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Everyone says it's all about where you're at a miss. Miss.
And like you just like, if you're missing one spot, you're fine. You miss another spot, you're dead.

Speaker 1 And not knowing the course, it's just like, oh, I don't know where to miss. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's the next change they're doing at Augusta because they tiger-proofed it. They made it long.
They still

Speaker 2 do trees.

Speaker 2 Do they have any plans to redo different holes?

Speaker 1 They pushed two back this year.

Speaker 1 They pushed 13 back last year, way back. And so there's, I mean,

Speaker 1 they just buy. So if you've ever been there, so if you drive up to Augusta, the street behind it is like

Speaker 1 you see Augusta and you think, oh my God. And behind it, there's like Applebee's, Chili's, strip clubs.
It sounds awesome. It's a shithole.

Speaker 1 It's like a grew one in Saugus, and then all of a sudden you take it right and you're at Augusta. So they're buying land.
They're trying to buy the place.

Speaker 1 Eventually it's going to be like just the whole area. Yeah, it'll be the master's exit.
It'll just be all, I think all the stuff. Yeah, they said they'll have an exit at some point.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're talking about underground parking there now. Oh, yeah, I saw that.
Yeah. So I think they're thinking more, like, the course is, what, 76.50?

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't know how much more they can do right now. The guy said yesterday, the chairman, he does like a yearly.
Fred Ridley.

Speaker 1 I want your opinion about some with him in a second, but go ahead. The Tuesday press conference where he just like addresses everything and

Speaker 1 he said, yeah, we'll never make it longer than 8,000. So it's like, that's bullshit.
That's God. Like 8,000? That's just thinking of that.
That's like the whole distance debate in golf. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Which is, I mean, I don't really understand it. I get like equipment of the balls now is just crazy.

Speaker 1 But what they ended up doing, I like your opinion and PFT, your opinion, they ended up, there was discussion of making the pro game different than us, where everything's the same for us, but the pros hit a different ball that goes shorter.

Speaker 1 They ended up doing it where they didn't change, where it was all the same, and they're just making everyone hit it shorter in like five years. So it kind of sucks for.

Speaker 1 Oh, so everyone's going to have shorter balls? Yeah, so for distance being an issue with 99.9% of golfers, it's like, it kind of sucks that now we're hitting it short. Oh, dead eye.
Wait.

Speaker 1 So is that going to be a thing where

Speaker 1 Kurt's hitting hybrid from 30?

Speaker 1 Is that going to be a thing where people hoard balls from right now? That's what people have brought up, but I think they go bad.

Speaker 1 That's going to be like premium, though. They're going to freeze and they'll figure something out.
Yeah. Yeah, that's actually, that's actually, I might have to buy like

Speaker 1 that. Sounds like, yeah, just selling them on eBay.

Speaker 1 COVID. Yeah.
So Fred Ridley, the chairman of Augusta, they have the champions dinner like you were talking about earlier. So it's all champions in the picture.
You see the picture every year? Yep.

Speaker 1 But Fred Ridley's in the picture. Oh, that's

Speaker 1 Stone Valor.

Speaker 2 It sounds like the Fred Ridley.

Speaker 1 But they're all really dinner.

Speaker 1 Yes, of course. All of them are.
Like, every chairman's been in that. I know, but I don't like that.
I don't like that either. He's not a champion.
No,

Speaker 1 it's worse is he was like a failed kind of player. At least he played.
He's playing it, though. But

Speaker 1 if you want that picture, take that picture and then take another picture without you in it and that's when they send out. If you look at the picture, he's dead in the middle.
Oh, that's

Speaker 1 Nicholas is like on the side.

Speaker 2 It becomes becomes the Fred Ridley dinner. It's not the champions dinner.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 That's his favorite day of the year.

Speaker 1 Jack Nicholas was in the seat. He's like, get up.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm tiger. Get the fuck.
Get out. Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 1 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st. 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd.

Speaker 1 Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep

Speaker 1 coming.

Speaker 1 Sebastian Maniscalco, it ain't right. Premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.
Terms apply.

Speaker 2 What would you guys do for your champions dinner if you set the menu?

Speaker 1 I think I'd be a big-time disappointment.

Speaker 1 It would be like if you went to a nice steakhouse. They're like the medium.

Speaker 2 That's what they usually are. Faldo, if you look at them, everybody's got like

Speaker 2 a ribeye as one of the courses.

Speaker 1 Faldo was killing Bubba Watson earlier this week because Bubba Watson's champions dinner was

Speaker 1 grilled chicken breast, mac and cheese, and confetti cake. I'm like, that sounds great.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Confetti cake is awesome.

Speaker 1 Ram's menu, I'm like, I don't, I'm, I'm picky. I wouldn't eat any of it.
Confetti cake is also one of those cakes that you never go out and try to find, but when you ever you're at a party or

Speaker 1 it's there, you're like, this is awesome. I should eat it more.

Speaker 2 Just birthday cake in general should be on more menus. Absolutely.
Celebrate it just for a birthday.

Speaker 1 Are you getting birthday cake ice cream flavors? Oh, yeah, all the time.

Speaker 2 Birthday cake ice cream is very good. Yes.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Bryce, you might just make a whole one here.
Bryce would be 600 here. Nope.
So, all right. So, who besides Scotty, who else do you guys think can win it this week?

Speaker 1 I know that we're going to be taping this during the first round.

Speaker 1 Rom, I know he's off to 200, but he's probably going to be in the mix.

Speaker 1 We were just saying before the show began,

Speaker 1 I've never been the biggest Bryson fan. He's just so weird and bizarre.
But if he was in the hunt, just the drama it would create.

Speaker 1 He's a bizarre human.

Speaker 1 We've kind of not had him for the last couple of years. Yeah, so now we'll be back in our lives for a couple of days.
And he gained like 50 pounds of muscle, but now he's lost some of it. That's all.

Speaker 1 He's too jacked. He's just a weird cat.
And he has one of my favorite qualities that he's stupid, but he thinks he's smart. Yeah.
He's my favorite.

Speaker 1 He feels like that, too.

Speaker 2 He thinks he's so smart. He's got all this equipment that he plays with.

Speaker 1 He talks down. If you ask him a question, it's like 50,000 words of nothing.

Speaker 2 You remember that video presentation where it was like it was him and his five buddies, his five rowdy boys that just worked down in his garage?

Speaker 1 Right. Oh, yeah.
They were yelling as they were benching. Well, Bryson made a famous quote that he considered a par 68 for himself.
Yeah. And then that just bit him right in the ass.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was on with Foreplay a couple days ago. We were talking about that.
That year he said it. He was paired in the final round with Longer, who was 62 at the time.
He does it.

Speaker 1 He was out driving Longer by 150 yards and holes. Longer beat him.
That's crazy. 77.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So, I mean, I like Shaffle.
He's off to a terrible start. And I liked Matsuyama.
I don't know where he is right now. But, I mean, there's, what do you think?

Speaker 1 12, 14 guys that can win? Yeah, maybe not even. Yeah.
I mean, mean, the problem, like, you know, the Scheffler of it all just looms. And he's such a bore.

Speaker 1 I understand he's a wonderful player, but he's so bored. Yeah, he doesn't really have much personality.
My thing is with... So we had

Speaker 1 Ram, then we had Scheffler, and who had it in 2021? Who won the Masters in 2021?

Speaker 1 Ram. Is that Matsuyama?

Speaker 2 Matsuyama.

Speaker 1 Johnson in 2010. And then Johnson.
So four in a row, bad Sundays. They've just been...
I think Matsuyama had also kind of a little bit of a runway. I don't care who wins, just back nine Sunday.

Speaker 1 Give me three guys. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I just want want a good. Matsuyama Shoffley were kinda, but it was not great because he's been in the water on 16, Shoffley.
Remember? So that was decently played. But that wasn't great.

Speaker 1 That was decent. I just want, if you could get like three or four guys in the mix, back nine, that's all you want.

Speaker 1 Enroy should be around. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You want to see a good leaderboard. You want to wake up Sunday morning and be like, yeah, look at this fucking leaderboard.

Speaker 1 But even in this tournament, if it was not a great course, big names, the back nine, if there was four guys and it's just the drama. It's a second nine.
Sorry. Second nine.
So

Speaker 1 like without the drama, when Tiger was winning and he was winning by as much, much, what was the most he's won the Masters by?

Speaker 1 Well, in 97, he won by 15, right? No. What did he win in 97 by?

Speaker 1 12. Yeah, 12.
But that was still incredible because you're like this guy. You've never seen that.
Yeah, right. And would you say he's the best golfer of all time?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think so. Yes.
Okay. I mean, it's hard with second.
Well, I'm thinking Nicholas, I mean, Nicholas still has more Mr. Nicholas, still has more majors, but Mr.
Nicholas.

Speaker 1 What's crazy, we were talking about before, like, Nicholas might be different. He's so old now, but like, if Tiger Woods wants to play at Augusta, like, he just can't roll in there and play.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, what?

Speaker 1 So, some winners are given a membership. Jack was.
And then, like, Patrick Reed isn't getting a membership. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 But I think Tigers

Speaker 1 is a little bit more than a million making a call. Yeah.
Yeah, but I'm still. Oh, just the fact that he couldn't.
He had to play with Ridley, actually, the other day. Two great.

Speaker 1 These are great. Tiger, I'm away.

Speaker 1 Do you guys think you'll ever get to play? No. We were talking about that before.

Speaker 1 It's 0.0.

Speaker 1 I would never say 0.0, but I'd say like 0.2.

Speaker 2 All right, Whitney, you're hobnobbing. That's Michael Jordan.

Speaker 1 I played golf with Michael Jordan. He spoke two words to me.
He called me a bitch when he beat me.

Speaker 1 I'm not playing golf.

Speaker 2 You're like his best friend then.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're boys. You also, there's like no members.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 How many members are there there? You're friends with Conda Lees, aren't you? Yeah,

Speaker 1 Condi. Call her Condi.
We interviewed her for the Browns, John. We had to work out.

Speaker 1 Still the craziest tweet of all time, ever. It's the best.
Did that happen? Who sent this tweet? What is it?

Speaker 2 Shafter. Schefter sent it out.
And we're pretty sure what happened was somebody in the Browns, they were having a new ownership takeover.

Speaker 2 I think somebody in the front office told someone they didn't really trust.

Speaker 2 We're going to bring in Condoleezza Rice. It's serious.

Speaker 2 We're turning over every rock that we can find for the head coaching job. For the head coaching job.

Speaker 1 Do you remember that? And then

Speaker 2 somebody in the front office that wasn't supposed to be talking out of the corner of their mouth told that to Schefter as like a smokeout thing.

Speaker 1 Big head. That's like how we were supposed to be.

Speaker 1 Shouldn't he have known that, though? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Also, Schefter probably should have been like,

Speaker 1 you're getting smoked out, bro.

Speaker 1 Big Cat, that's how you said you want to find the rat in this office. Yeah.
Oh, it's a great move. It's a great move.

Speaker 1 Tell

Speaker 1 a couple different people. Just little things.
We're hiring Conde Leezer Rice.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Marcel Sports.

Speaker 1 Yeah. She'd be good in the show.

Speaker 2 We'll do a pre-Into the strike on Bleacher Report.

Speaker 1 There's 300 members of Augusta. 300 members.

Speaker 1 That's actually more than I thought. But there's also

Speaker 1 how many guys? Yeah, like Warren Buffett's a member. How many times has he played it?

Speaker 1 I bet you he's gone 10 years without even going. Right.

Speaker 1 What's interesting that chaps didn't know, maybe a lot of people don't know, is after the tournament ends, the course is closed. Done for the year.

Speaker 1 The year?

Speaker 1 It's a winter course. It's open September, October-ish to now, and then it's shut.
I had no idea. I didn't know that either.
Which, by the way, you can get some lousy weather there. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 November, December? So they just no one can play on Augusta in the summer? No.

Speaker 1 They close her for this? That's crazy. Because they're always doing stuff.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wow. Well, the other best thing about the Masters for the media members is Monday, four four people.
Four people, yeah.

Speaker 1 Every person that's given a media credential is put into a lottery, and then four people are picked, and they play it Monday. Well, not every media person.

Speaker 1 This year, even they said, we're not going to let Rappaport win. Yeah, I was going to say, how mad was you? I was like, Rappaport got it.
Oh, that would be a big one. With that haircut.

Speaker 1 I don't need to see that Twitter with all the cuts the video got.

Speaker 1 And I will say,

Speaker 1 I will say, I'm still not emotionally over Dude Perfect being involved. Yeah, me too.

Speaker 1 I think they regret that.

Speaker 2 The fact that it was a combination of Dude Perfect and Bryson to me, me,

Speaker 1 it felt personal. They were hitting like a

Speaker 1 huge thing. I did like baseball bats out there.
Yeah. Like swinging over the 12.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Is that the number one course you guys would want to play? If you can play any course in the world. I think that's everything.

Speaker 1 I don't even think there's... I don't know if the number two would be.
Yeah. What about this?

Speaker 2 What about, like, I don't know, maybe talk to chaps, organize a military operation. You go, you parachute into Augusta at night and you just sneak onto the course.
You probably

Speaker 2 get like three holes done before they catch you, right? That's true.

Speaker 1 I don't think, I think there's, I think there's guards 24 7 around probably have all the fairways sensitive

Speaker 1 they're crazy like i was saying my brother and i went the first year we went we i got them through stub hub and they had this little stub hub place like a temporary one set up next to this public's like a half mile away from the course so people were sneaking in they get them and then go back after you turn them at night the next year augusta bought that whole lot and just bulldozed it

Speaker 1 just insane because all i mean they they have a one-year deal every year with cbs too every year yeah one-year deal and so cbs could just lose it at any moment. It's true.
I think it's only IBM. Yep.

Speaker 1 What's the umbrella one? Mercedes. Yeah, one other, right?

Speaker 2 Rolex, probably.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so I'm like, I don't even know if that's one.

Speaker 1 Even the Martha Burke year, that crazy year 20 years ago, that the start of the internet, CBS is like, because about the female membership there, CBS is like, we're a little uncomfortable with this.

Speaker 1 The master said, no problem. We're going to pull it.
We're just going to put it on our website. And CBS is like, no, it's okay.
We'll figure it. They have all the power.

Speaker 1 After going, though, you could say if whoever's running the Masters, like the entire tournament, if they just like took over the government, we'd probably be buzzing as a

Speaker 1 COVID would have lasted four days. Like, they're like,

Speaker 1 they're perfect at what they do.

Speaker 1 Chick-fil-A, Disney, and the Masters. Yeah,

Speaker 1 run it perfect.

Speaker 2 That tree disappearing in a matter of minutes.

Speaker 1 I was there that day. Did you see the tree? No, we just, the storms were awful.
And then when that happened,

Speaker 1 they shut it down and we all had to leave. They got a break.
But then all of a sudden, the next day it was gone.

Speaker 2 I thought they called MBS from Saudi Arabia. He came out there with the hacksaws, took care of the tree real quick.
Got the fuck out.

Speaker 2 Actually, one of the hardest I've ever laughed at another Barstool podcast was the Spit and Chiclets podcast when you guys had JT on. Biz.

Speaker 2 And Biz, when JT was talking about how he's never seen a squirrel at Augusta, never seen one. And then Biz just goes, they kill all the squirrels?

Speaker 2 Like the childlike wonderment in his voice when he's talking about it. He wasn't joking at all.

Speaker 1 No, he wasn't joking.

Speaker 1 And I actually wouldn't be shy.

Speaker 1 And then he also, like, Justin Thomas was mentioning that he's very close with Freddie Couples, who's an assistant captain on all the Ryder Cup teams. And Biz is like, he loves rubbing tugs, I heard.

Speaker 1 Not true. And

Speaker 1 he's like, oh, man, I don't think so. He's like, no, dude, I heard that.

Speaker 4 I heard that.

Speaker 1 You could tell he was like, what podcast is this? Fake news. Fake news.
What's all right? So, favorite hole?

Speaker 1 I said just

Speaker 1 came out 15. I actually

Speaker 1 probably agree. It's just, it's a par five where they hit it over the water if they're going for it.
And water short, water real long. It's like the make or break hole a lot of the shelf.

Speaker 1 And if you lay up, it's still a pain in the the ass. It was the hole that actually Sergio hit the pin the year he won against Justin Rose and made E.
And Nicholas Eagled it that year he won too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's 12's a great hole, too.

Speaker 1 I don't love 16 anymore. 16 is too easy now.
16 is the one the tiger shot, right? The hole in what the one yeah. That is probably the coolest shot, though.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's also Vern Lundquist just makes it. I actually was told that Vern's getting old.
I think this is his last year in 16 Tower. You think he's getting old? Yeah.

Speaker 1 How old is he?

Speaker 1 He'll soon be old. I heard from a reliable source that Vern will be.
I love the idea of Whitney

Speaker 1 after Twitter. Yeah, someone tells me that.

Speaker 1 Look at he's my age. He's getting up there.
He's 52 now.

Speaker 1 Someone whispers to a wit, oh yeah, Vern's getting old. What? No shit.
It's a hell of a scoop. He'd be around, so he'd be 50 soon.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 apparently, he fell asleep like twice in the tower. Vern.
Vern last year. Nicola wake him up.

Speaker 1 Vern's struggling a little bit.

Speaker 2 We need a Vern cam because if I was just watching Vern just

Speaker 2 slowly not off in the tower.

Speaker 1 Oh my God. That's one of the cigars for my eyes.

Speaker 1 I think the yak fart.

Speaker 1 The other thing with the Masters announcers are, even on CBS, they're different than the CBS. Like, Vern doesn't do golf for CBS.
Right. The Masters, with Gary McCord famously, they kicked him out.

Speaker 1 Because Gary McCord said in 90,

Speaker 1 the last Masters he did was in 94, maybe? I don't know the year, but I know what he was doing. He said

Speaker 1 the Greens looked bikini waxed. Whoa.
And the Masters said to CBS, this guy is never going to be on here again. That's never on again.
There was another announcer who got kicked off, too. Before him.

Speaker 1 Jack Whitaker. He called.

Speaker 1 He didn't use the word patrons. They're patrons.
Yeah. He called the patrons.
He said, there's a mob heading down to the green. Augusta said, boom, done.
That shit. That's crazy.
The bricks.

Speaker 1 Actually, I know I've done this on Kirk's show, but Larry David played Augusta. And, well, he's probably played it a bunch of times.
And

Speaker 1 he's friends. He sent this text to who's the Mike Lupica.
Yep. Okay.
So sports reporters. It ended up getting,

Speaker 1 it ended up getting

Speaker 1 the biggest assholes assholes ever met.

Speaker 1 It ended up getting sent around the text, Larry, describing his round. His best stuff.

Speaker 1 It's a pretty funny, like, knowing Larry Day. I don't know him, but his stuff.

Speaker 1 So you don't see what he was asked, but this is his response. Not quite.
96. Have you played it? Wasn't really that hard.
Only lost one ball.

Speaker 1 Fairways are wide, but I hated the waspy privilege exclusivity of it.

Speaker 1 Members in their green jackets. The talking hardly gets above a whisper in the dining room.
Didn't hear one laugh.

Speaker 1 It's like a fascist country in the dictator's Billy Payne, who's actually referred to as Mr. Chairman.
That's what he's called, like he's fucking Mao. And then the second text is better keep that.

Speaker 1 He must have said with himself.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, he's never going back. I don't think he gives a shit.
Yeah, no, definitely not. Definitely not.
Oh, man. All right.
So who else? Who else are we looking for? Maybe long shots.

Speaker 1 I know that we're, again, we're recording.

Speaker 1 I mentioned that. I know he's had now.
I mentioned

Speaker 1 earlier the thing I do with the rigs. Corey Connors always plays well here.
And he is, and I saw a

Speaker 1 tweet that was basically like, these are the only guys that could win it based on their analytics coming into the tournament. He was one of the guys who were sounding great.

Speaker 1 I mean, listen, you don't,

Speaker 1 when you're scrolling Twitter and you see someone's like, oh, this is a formula, you don't fucking screenshot it. Here we go.
It was, I mean, it was, it literally was just like these guys.

Speaker 1 It was Corey Connors. It was obviously

Speaker 1 Scheffler. Hold on, I'm going to go to the next one.
Matsuyama was probably on there. You can tell me how stupid it is.
Is Ludvig on there now? Based on who's on it. Go ahead.
All right.

Speaker 1 It is Scotty Scheffler, Matsuyama, Shoffley, Lowry, Corey Connors, Seewoo Kim, Rory McElroy, Cameron Young, Ludwig. Cameron Young, I like a lot too.

Speaker 1 Those are the nine guys that... Ched Ludwig, yeah.
It's T De Green in four events leading into Masters. It's his ball striker.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Corey Connors, I got to play with him twice down in Florida once, and it's just one of those things. I think playing with all these guys is the same, but he's just every single fucking shot.

Speaker 1 It's his home course, too. So it's just, it was 65, 65, two days in a row.
Like, he doesn't miss the center of the club face.

Speaker 1 And then you're just like, wow, this guy doesn't even win that often on Toronto. Never.
Basically, never. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But that's the thing about, like, Dave made this huge bet with Scheffler this week. That's what we were talking to him earlier.
It's not the same as betting UConn to win. Right.

Speaker 1 I mean, Scheffler statistically is going to lose. Right.
He's won, what, twice in the last year?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Whatever, three times the last 30 events. So it's like, you know, look at that.
And you got to beat all, like, if some one guy has a crazy end of his life. The bad winner

Speaker 1 is so hard.

Speaker 1 I mean, that is crazy looking back, too, because Scheffler, I think, was the best or the lowest odds since Tiger in his heyday. Correct.

Speaker 1 And there were times when Tiger was like plus 125 to win the master. I think there was often tournaments where it was Tiger and then the FIFA.
Yeah, right. Right.
And it was a smart bet to take Tiger.

Speaker 2 I think it was like minus 110. Right.

Speaker 1 And a golfer started with 150. right? Yeah, and he's absurd.

Speaker 2 I don't think we'll ever see a golfer that good again because what Tiger did was he

Speaker 2 neither. It was such like an exclusive sport when Tiger started playing where most people didn't grow up playing golf.
And then Tiger started and then a lot of kids across America

Speaker 2 take it up. Now we're watching the products of the Tiger Woods youth generation.

Speaker 2 It's just grown, so it's just the talent pool is too big now.

Speaker 1 Also, the perfect marriage of everything. He drove it the longest.
He had the best short game, he's the best putter, and he's mentally like

Speaker 2 a psycho.

Speaker 1 The killer instinct of his dad is that just beat it into him. If you think about him, if he hadn't gone and tried to be a Navy SEAL,

Speaker 1 where he like broke his leg, it's like

Speaker 1 and he changes swing three times. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 when I was growing up, I didn't play golf. It wasn't like cool to play golf.

Speaker 1 Now it's cool to play golf. Yeah, I didn't until I was a senior in high school.
It was the first time I ever played.

Speaker 1 And now loving golf as much as I do, I wish I played because playing growing up, then you groove the swing. You can always see a guy who played

Speaker 1 exactly.

Speaker 1 You know how to do it, and I will never learn how to do it. And they're usually an asshole.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, we're usually

Speaker 1 a rich kid. Yeah, right.

Speaker 2 I had this business idea last week when we were at the Final Four. It's like an amusement park, but it's for sports, or like a water park, but it's for sports.

Speaker 2 The main attraction of this amusement park would be we'd pour millions of dollars into this one hole and perfectly replicate like number 16 at Augusta.

Speaker 2 How much do you think people would pay to play like a perfect replica of that hole?

Speaker 1 Just that hole? Just that hole. But it's part of the

Speaker 1 one in Broadway. I need to make a replica.
There's a course that actually has,

Speaker 1 I think they have famous

Speaker 1 holes.

Speaker 2 I heard about this. It's in Texas.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they have like a famous hole from every street. It's where the PGA of America, the, where the hell is it now? I don't even.
I know what you're talking about. Oh, yeah.
Briscoe?

Speaker 2 I think it's right outside Houston. But the thing is, if you're in Texas, you can't make a real replica of a Lynx-style St.

Speaker 1 Andrews hole. And like a snake bites you.
You're like, oh, I'm not in Scotland anymore. Yeah, 200 degrees.
You could buy, you could honestly buy a place on that street by Augusta and replicate that.

Speaker 2 That's what I want to do.

Speaker 1 During Masters Week, people would just flow in and play. Yeah, yeah.
I think if you go to courses, they're shot by that. They're just going to buy it.
Yeah, it's a good point, too.

Speaker 1 But then you'll make money off.

Speaker 2 Are you allowed to trademark a hole?

Speaker 1 Do they have like a patent on their holes? If anyone does, it's them.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You see courses try and do it, though. You'll see that sometimes.
The other thing about Augusta that I forgot to bring up going there, so they have this merch tent tent. Crazy.

Speaker 1 It's the size of this office. And then you go up there, and then just after, you can send it all home.
Ship it home. And then you get back, and it's already at your house.
That's amazing.

Speaker 1 You don't have to carry it around. It's like

Speaker 1 everyone knows about the food, obviously. You go, you buy four lunches, and it's $11.
Is it good, though? Yeah. Yeah, it's fine.

Speaker 1 Barbecue pork sandwich is good.

Speaker 1 You're not like, holy fuck, but for two bucks. I wouldn't do that thing they're doing where you like order it to your house, though.
Have you seen that? That's weird. No, no, that's stupid.

Speaker 1 I actually hate pimento. So do I.
Yeah, I think it's overrated. The chicken sandwich is good.
Yeah, it's good.

Speaker 1 What a place to catch a buzz though i mean yeah if 10 beers were 30 bucks dude yeah that's crazy have a cigar walk around take it on no phone yeah i i the no phone would freak me out the first four minutes you're just like yeah where's my phone and then by the end you're like i don't want to go get it yeah i don't want to go back to reality uh all right so

Speaker 1 final answer of who i know again first round but you who'd you pick who'd you you bet willie z i bet willie z and then last night i bet matsiyama i took big bets top 10 both of them and then then probably a quarter of that both of them to win.

Speaker 1 Do you guys like anything like on a Saturday when you're looking at the board being like, all right, this is what I need to see to maybe take a long shot, like someone coming back. How many shots out?

Speaker 1 Yeah, like or someone coming back from like, yeah, like they're in 10th place and you're like, they can make a run. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 If you find the right guy and he's playing well, and also you have to look who's leading. Like, if it's sort of a guy you know it's Scheffler, it's like it's over.
Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 But if it's, you know, Ryan Fox, right, or Danny Willicher shot 68 today. Danny Willet is not winning the Masters.
So you look at it like that. I mean, there's no chance.
I like betting

Speaker 1 daily matchups. Yeah.

Speaker 1 One-on-one, and then you just fall on both. What sucks is this tournament,

Speaker 1 well, at least with DraftKings right now, their daily matchups, they're not in the same group.

Speaker 1 So you like it when they're actually on the same hole? I like betting just the

Speaker 1 score daily. Like I have Scotty today on the winter.
I'm 71 and a half. 70.5 or something.
Scottie's 15. All right, I think he was 70 and a half.
What? He was either 71 and a half?

Speaker 1 Because I think people were scared of the win.

Speaker 1 The winning, though, I'll tell you. Scotty Scheffler is minus 70 and a half today.
Yeah, I'll tell you what it was. Oh,

Speaker 2 and you could just buy the hole bets, too, when you're just

Speaker 2 buyer TV. Yeah.
Yeah, is he going to hit the fairway?

Speaker 1 That's how you get smoked off. Yes, yes.

Speaker 2 I've never won one, but I've ain't missing this fairway.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I think they missed the win today, though.
You're right, because these guys are tearing it up. Oh, I didn't bet Scotty.
Never mind. He was probably 70 and a half.

Speaker 1 I bet Willie Z under 72 and a half. Really? That was 72 and a half? I think people were scared of the win.
Hank, you're a golfer. What do you think about Augusta?

Speaker 4 Love to go. It looks great.
You'd love to.

Speaker 1 What did you do last night?

Speaker 4 Oh, I went out. I had a couple drinks.

Speaker 1 Nice. Yeah.
Yeah. How many money? How'd it go?

Speaker 4 I had a lot.

Speaker 4 My phone died.

Speaker 2 Oh, that sucks.

Speaker 4 Turned it on the charger, went to sleep, didn't turn on. Alarm didn't go off.

Speaker 1 What time did you wake up? Like 11?

Speaker 1 I would stab someone to be able to sleep till 11. But it's not like we had work.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no, I'm pretty sure. Nothing going on.
Yeah, no, I was supposed to be here. I'll I'll explain something.
I missed a recording.

Speaker 1 Stuff.

Speaker 1 You'll hear us on Firefest in a second, but I'm alive.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you were scared for a second.

Speaker 1 He had an RA like that once. He just didn't show up to a pod.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Is this it? What you guys have done?

Speaker 2 Like, how serious is the show if Hank dies, like that first episode?

Speaker 1 It'd be very serious.

Speaker 1 It'd be in time. We'd do this moment of silence.
We do the Fox Injury music for football.

Speaker 2 You wouldn't cry, though?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'd cry. Yeah, you got to cry.
So, Hank doesn't know this part. I called his building because I was like, it was 11.30 in the morning.
I was on girl.

Speaker 1 I'm actually a little nervous.

Speaker 2 The difference is, like, with Hank, our first thought was he probably just slept in, but what if it's serious? With you and R.A., he's not there. You're like, dead.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So I called this building and I said, I was like,

Speaker 1 you know, we work with Henry Lockwood. We think he slept in and his phone's not charged.
Can someone go knock on his door? And the woman was like, sure, no problem. We'll do that.

Speaker 1 And 25 minutes go by, and I'm trying to call Hank because I'm like, someone went knocked on his door. You want to hold the entire? No, no, no.

Speaker 1 I hung up, but I was like, someone's going to knock on his door. He's going to plug in his phone.
He'll call me right away. 25 minutes go by.
He doesn't call me. I call back to the front desk.

Speaker 1 I'm like, hey, I just called. And she's like, oh, yes, of course.

Speaker 1 We got in contact with Ron Lockman's wife and she's trying to find her husband. I was like, no,

Speaker 1 I was like, no. Lockwood.
Henry Lockwood.

Speaker 1 So this woman is like running around. Hey, Ron's like, I didn't do anything, honey.
Hey, find Ron. Yeah.
So that was bad.

Speaker 1 That was bad. I didn't do anything.
Yeah. But then he's alive.
He's good. You feel good, Hank? No, I feel terrible.
All right, well, we'll talk about it.

Speaker 1 If I fell asleep at eight, if I stay up all night, fell asleep at 8:30 in the morning, I don't think I could sleep till 11 at this point in my life. No.
Oh, oh, yeah. I set my alarm today for 7:30.

Speaker 1 It was bullshit. I freak out.
It never happened. Yeah.
I freak out if I sleep past 7:45. I freak out.

Speaker 4 I woke up and fell rested. It was like

Speaker 1 no worse. Sleeping through something or just being late in general is the worst feeling feeling in the world.

Speaker 1 I missed one bus once in the NHL and just like. You did? Yeah.
It was to practice and I got an Uber and wasn't that late, but you get reamed out? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Reamed. Our strategy is just stare at Hank and let him do all the guilt tripping on himself.

Speaker 1 The good thing is you know he genuinely feels better.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. Because he's hungover.

Speaker 1 Yeah. There's nothing worse.
I'll miss that, yeah.

Speaker 1 He did, we did early part of my take days when we were doing, before we moved to New York and we were doing it all on Skype, there was one night on a Sunday night late that Hank fell asleep.

Speaker 1 We had to call his house and I had to talk to his mom and be like, can you wake him up?

Speaker 1 So, y'all know that we're big fans of Cracker Barrel. And this holiday season, I will be sat at their table with a big plate of country-fried turkey.

Speaker 6 And Brandon, I'll be right there with you, and I'll check it off my Christmas list in the country store while I'm at it. It'll make a nice holiday tradition.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's so cute of you.

Speaker 6 Enjoy all the more holiday traditions only at Cracker Barrel.

Speaker 1 So, what is the bet that you guys had for the mini golf? Yeah,

Speaker 1 congratulations again. I forgot about that.
Yeah. We had a bet where he guaranteed victory, and I said, you're not winning.
I said, if you win, I'll give you 5,000.

Speaker 1 That's not really how you framed it, but yeah.

Speaker 1 I should be fair, I don't remember exactly how it turned out. That's fine.
Go ahead. So it was 10 to 1 odd.
So I got, if I won, he was going to give me 5,000.

Speaker 1 If anybody else won, I was going to give him 500. Okay.

Speaker 1 So you were that confident.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and then looking back, I was like, that was the worst bet because I said, would you have taken 2,000? He's like, yes.

Speaker 1 So I was on the hook, and even before his meltdown, I was like,

Speaker 1 I was just worried about him.

Speaker 1 It would be like if Tigers coming, it's like, the champs coming. I don't know what to do.
Yeah, very strange moment for him. Very strange.

Speaker 2 Who's going to the old head?

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 4 28 officially, by the way.

Speaker 1 You got a 28 on that 28? Oh, no. I mean, do I have to play this last round? 24 old? I know others are.
So you're with Frank. Yeah, you and Frank.

Speaker 1 I know others have bailed on this tournament, but keep in mind,

Speaker 1 despite this, I'm going to play. Hey, this guy, Jason Day, actually, he's always playing well here.
I don't know how he's playing coming in, but. Yeah, he's been okay.

Speaker 1 It's just like a portrait of mental illness, honestly. Like, I just, I can't.

Speaker 1 I wasn't mad at the Whitney was ahead. I was mad at how I played the whole before.
Yeah. And the short one.
When I hit that shot,

Speaker 1 when it went over at seven, my mind literally just went blank. Like, I just went red.
And then that was it. I don't really remember much about it.
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you did have the perfect.

Speaker 1 I could have killed somebody, honestly.

Speaker 1 I could have killed Ron Lachman.

Speaker 1 I have no idea.

Speaker 1 You had the perfect reply because people came up to you and just like, what happened? You're like, mental illness is funny to you? Yeah.

Speaker 1 If I'm here to be a clown, fine, but that's what I'm saying. I battled every day.

Speaker 1 But yeah, that was not a good moment. And it's just stupid.
Now I get to play.

Speaker 1 in the first group with these losers and it's got to respect and it's just got to be like it's just going to be like you know it feels beneath me but it's my own fault like i put myself that's why i'll yell at hank at some point but it's not hank's fault i did something stupid.

Speaker 1 They're following the rules. I don't have a problem with that.
So, what's going to happen for the next one? Because we're going to do this every year now, right? Well,

Speaker 1 if I'm invited. Yeah, no, you're invited.
I presume.

Speaker 1 As a former champion, I would think I have a

Speaker 1 big thing now, though, I will say, is Jeff D. Lowe won in the Hamptons.
I won last year. If Whitney wins, he does get to choose the champions dinner

Speaker 1 the night before. Oh, medium steak.
Medium steak.

Speaker 1 I had your back.

Speaker 1 I don't like medium steak, but people should get to enjoy however they want. And if you order your steak medium at very nice steak houses, it ends up coming out medium steak.

Speaker 1 That's why Medium Rare Plus. Yeah, that's true.
That's what I do. Next year, we were talking about this this morning.
Next year should be.

Speaker 1 It needs to be a legit core. So next year, I think we're going to do a limited feel, maybe.
Yeah, it's going to be a smaller field, no cut, and we're going to also change.

Speaker 1 I would like to change the obstacles

Speaker 1 after round one, so that way people can't figure it out.

Speaker 1 I think the biggest thing is getting break, and I don't know how hard that is, but when it's just dead flat every time, mini golf is all about hitting up the hill. It comes back to your foot.

Speaker 1 Like, if it's just flat,

Speaker 1 I don't think the excitement will ever be that nuts.

Speaker 1 But they did a good job, though. It's a good job.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was awesome. It's awesome.
I mean, we could just simply like chirping it. I'm just saying to make it

Speaker 1 harder. And maybe, I know Taylor Maid gave us these awesome putters, but it's more about the plastic mini golf putter.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 How do you feel about the Mickey Mouse stuff, like the windmills?

Speaker 1 I think that's

Speaker 1 just one or two in there. Just because mini golf.

Speaker 2 Like something that's totally.

Speaker 1 Where you can make a 10. Yeah, or a 1.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like, even the best player could absolutely fuck up, and it's not their fault. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yep. That's mini golf.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, boys. Thank you so much.
Bryson's minus seven right now. He's about to be

Speaker 1 six. Holy shit.
Yeah. Yeah.
You know what? Him and the hunt's great. It is.
I agree with you. His quotes, just how he goes about things, it'll be a story.
His first answer to Supreme is so dumb. Yeah.

Speaker 2 His champion center would suck ass, too.

Speaker 1 It is true.

Speaker 2 It would be like molecular shit.

Speaker 1 No, it would be like whey protein that astronauts eat. Yeah.
Yeah. Just fat is good, though.

Speaker 1 There is nothing funnier, though, than like someone who has a lot of money, a lot of time, and is very dumb, and then convinces themselves that there's this part of personality.

Speaker 1 My favorite YouTube channel.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. Yes.
And

Speaker 1 they just consume all kinds of weird shit, and then all of a sudden they're an expert. So that is Bryson.

Speaker 1 We hated on Bryson when the Brooks-Bryson rivalry was going, but they've squashed the beef, so we have to squash the beef.

Speaker 2 I think that's only

Speaker 2 in the back of my head. Yeah, no, I'm ready to go like the slightest.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah, I'm all over it.

Speaker 1 But it is good for storylines. All right.
Thank you both. Appreciate it.
Oh, wait.

Speaker 1 Stanley Cup pick, we're going to have you back on in a couple weeks. So I'm all Oilers,

Speaker 1 but if anyone else is going to get it done, I think Dallas is...

Speaker 1 The only thing I've told everyone in this office, if you want to make a future bet, Dallas,

Speaker 1 if they play Vegas in the first round, I don't hold responsibility on it. Because even if they beat him, they're going to...
kick the shit out of each other. But Dallas is the best team in the league.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.

Speaker 2 You have anything to say about the NBA?

Speaker 1 Me? No. Oh, Ryan.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Ryan likes to play. Ryan hates that.
Yeah, I haven't done it as much anymore, but I saw a guy missed the game the other night for a headache. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 Headaches stink, though. That's fucking.
You would have liked DeAndre Ayton, who was on the Suns.

Speaker 1 Top draft pick, got traded to the Blazers this past year, and like two months into the season, he complained because he was sleeping on an air mattress, and he's made like hundreds of million dollars.

Speaker 1 And he was just like, yeah, I'm sleeping on an air mattress. People don't know what I'm going through.

Speaker 1 like he just didn't buy a real mattress he also missed the game because the roads were too icy that's

Speaker 1 fair actually

Speaker 1 and once again i like the game of basketball i cannot stand the nba i'm old i'm i'm old i know i loved it growing up but it does bother me that they just the other night i was flipping around they shot 12 straight possessions they shot a three i know i know no i agree with you but i'm just like this is not what i like it's yeah i like but i get it's will you be more into the NBA finals than the cup finals?

Speaker 1 In terms of energy. It depends on who's in.

Speaker 2 Probably, because it's most likely going to be Nuggets, Celtics. Yeah,

Speaker 2 that's a good matchup.

Speaker 1 What if it was Oilers-Leafs? Yeah, those are both. That would be.
I love all sports. So, yeah, I would.
Okay.

Speaker 1 If Canada had a chance to win the Stanley Cup, that would be an awesome story. But if you get like

Speaker 1 Panthers, Golden Knights, again, I'm going to. Although the NBA finals last year sucked, I mean, the Nuggets were just so much better than the Heat.
It wasn't.

Speaker 1 But I love whenever there's a good final, you know, when a finals goes to 6-7, and you're like.

Speaker 1 Do you agree that the first first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs is the best chaos?

Speaker 1 Yes, because it's kind of like the first round of March Madness, where it's like you don't know what's going to happen. And it's just two weeks of four games.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, the first round of the NBA playoffs suck because you just know you can just pencil in the one, twos, and threes, and then you know, maybe you'll get a good series out of four and five.

Speaker 2 I get anxious just watching playoff overtime hockey if I don't have a dog in the fight.

Speaker 2 If you're a player, if you're out there on the ice during overtime in the playoffs, do you feel as nervous as watching it?

Speaker 1 Wait, even now watching, I'm just like, yeah, it's like a panic the entire time playing. No,

Speaker 1 no,

Speaker 2 just hoping.

Speaker 1 We were in double overtime in the cup finals, and we were just, I just remember not even like thinking about it, but you're not thinking like how a fan would be sitting there on the edge of their seat the whole time.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's crazy watching it.

Speaker 1 It is the best. All right.
Thank you, boys. All right, guys.
Appreciate it. Love you.
God bless.

Speaker 7 New Beyond Raw Lid V2.

Speaker 7 GNC's number one pre-workout.

Speaker 7 Now Now with harder hitting energy, an intense mind-body connection,

Speaker 7 and enhanced endurance support.

Speaker 7 This isn't just a pre-workout, it's precision engineering for your body.

Speaker 7 Supercharge your workout with new Beyond Raw Lid V2.

Speaker 1 Available now at GNC and GNC.com.

Speaker 1 Okay, Firefest of the Week, let's set the table real quick. If you can put the camera on the couch, there is no Henry Henry Lockwood here right now.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 we have an idea that Hank has possibly slept in. His phone maybe wasn't charged because we've all texted him.
I texted him something unrelated at 9.30 in the morning.

Speaker 2 No, it is pretty early right now, Big Cat.

Speaker 1 Oh yeah, it's 11.20 on a Thursday. Let's just give him one last chance.

Speaker 7 Hey, it's Henry. Simon, it's your call.

Speaker 1 Yep. So

Speaker 2 he did play three rounds of golf yesterday.

Speaker 1 He played three rounds of golf. So we're going to tape our Firefest.

Speaker 1 Hank hopefully is fine,

Speaker 1 and he will be here later at some point, but we will get his take after we do our firefest whenever he does show up.

Speaker 1 As we're taping this, so how it works is we sometimes will have like different stuff going on during the day, so we tape in different portions.

Speaker 1 So I texted last night, I was like, hey, let's do end of the show at around 11 a.m.

Speaker 1 We'll have Kirk and Whitney on, and then we'll wait till the Masters' first round is over so that we we have updated to start the show. So everyone knew the plan.

Speaker 1 Hank is sleeping as of right this second, 1121 on a Thursday morning. When he wakes up, he is going to be in the worst mood of all time.
I mean, he's not a good wake-upper anyway. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But when he realizes that it's, how late do you think he can sleep?

Speaker 2 It's Sunday scary. He's in turbo mode when you do this on a weekday.
Like if you're supposed to be at work, if you've ever overslept, missed a class, missed a meeting, he's going to come in.

Speaker 2 He's going to react one of two ways. Choose your own adventure with Hank.
Is Hank going to be like, I'm sorry, I fucked this up. Hand up, it's on me.

Speaker 2 Or Hank could come in and just be mad at everyone because he knows that we made fun of him before he got here.

Speaker 1 I think it's going to be the latter.

Speaker 2 You think he's going to go fee? He's going to be pre-mad?

Speaker 1 I think it's going to be like,

Speaker 1 I'm going to make a joke when he walks in, and he's going to just be like, give me that death stare. And I'm like, oh, okay, I see.
I think he's going to take accountability.

Speaker 1 He'd be like, I screwed up. You guys can make fun of me.
No, no chance.

Speaker 1 He will take accountability in the fact that you can't really say anything when you're a 30-year-old man who sleeps till noon on a Thursday.

Speaker 1 I think it's not going to be happy that we're making fun of him.

Speaker 2 Do you think it was a, I forgot to plug in my phone or he had some power issues in his apartment?

Speaker 1 I think he forgot to plug in his phone and he was overtired because we have been going all over the place. So that I will back Hank up on.

Speaker 1 We have been working a lot and mini golf takes a lot out of you.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I forgot to specify that the three rounds of golf were mini golf.

Speaker 1 Yeah, mini golf. But yeah, I think, listen, I also, we're going to, we have a job to do.
He's got a job to do. Yep.
Our job is to make fun of him.

Speaker 1 His job is going to be to get mad at us because I don't think that this is so beyond scaries

Speaker 1 when he wakes up, he is going to have the worst 15, 20 minutes ever. Ever.

Speaker 1 Max, what are you going to say? I'm just thinking, like, I was going to ask him to do an ad read, and PFTA may be asking you to do that ad read now because of. Because of Hank? Yeah.
Oh, oh, so

Speaker 1 now

Speaker 2 he's affecting my day.

Speaker 2 Actually, you know, what's going to be very funny is

Speaker 2 the like five minutes after he wakes up when he looks at his phone and it's dead, and then he has to plug it in and wait. Yeah, and he's just going to be staring at his phone.

Speaker 1 God, imagine

Speaker 2 imagining the texts like a jack in the box from hell that are going to pop out of that thing in his face. And oh my god.

Speaker 1 You know, sometimes when you like first plug it in and it like takes way longer than it should for it to actually turn on, I hope it, I hope it's 10 minutes. And he it probably says something

Speaker 1 maybe about my relationship with Hank because I've known him for so long.

Speaker 1 But when this happened to PFT a few years ago and his phone was unplugged and he slept in, I was like calling everyone thinking he had died. And I was like very, very concerned.

Speaker 1 With Hank, it's like, all right, well, we got to record and make fun of him. Yeah, that time, I don't think I even had anything.
No, we did. We had the interview.

Speaker 1 We had an interview because you came into the interview late and you're like, I slept in. Legit was like, is he okay?

Speaker 2 The worst thing ever about that day was coming into work, and I think I came in at like noon, and everybody in the office was like, Are you all right?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And they thought that I had like a problem.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I thought you would die. Yeah.
People, I got, I got texts from everybody, like, are you alive? Are you okay?

Speaker 2 And then I had to just come and be like, I was just tired. I'm sorry.
Like, I slept in. But yeah, this is.

Speaker 1 If something happens to Hank scared,

Speaker 1 we're never going to hear this. No.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I guess I am a little nervous now that I just said that out loud. Who would we? No, Hank sleeps in, though.
Yeah, he does. He's a sleeper.
So that makes me a little...

Speaker 1 But what point do we start sounding alarms? We're like, should we do a wellness check? I think

Speaker 2 1.

Speaker 1 I was thinking 12.30?

Speaker 2 1 o'clock.

Speaker 1 1. Mime says.

Speaker 2 After lunch.

Speaker 1 Okay. After lunch, I will call

Speaker 1 his residence. and see if maybe the doorman can do a wellness check.
Well, now this just kind of put a shiver down my spine. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But we wouldn't air this.

Speaker 2 He's just tired.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's fine. He's fine.
He's fine. He's just tired, and he's grumpy.
He's absolutely fine.

Speaker 2 Okay, Firefest, PFT. My Fire Fest of the week is I have to do an ad read because Hank's left in.
That's tough. That's tough.
I thought I was free and clear today.

Speaker 2 I didn't get any texts from memes this morning. He hasn't sauntered up behind me like the Undertaker and just been like, hey, hey, PFT, I got a camera.
Can you do the ad read?

Speaker 1 To be completely fair, I also hadn't brought it up to Hank that I needed him to do the ad read either. So then you should save that.
You should save that and bring it up to him.

Speaker 1 Also, one thing we forgot to say is the good news for Hank is it's not like the entire company's here this today. Yeah, it's not like Dave's in the office.

Speaker 1 That adds so much to it because if it was just us, he would just have to deal with us giving him shit.

Speaker 1 Like

Speaker 1 if Dave needs him for some reason in the next three hours and can't find him, oh my God.

Speaker 2 And if Whitney catches wind of this. Oh.

Speaker 1 It would be a shame.

Speaker 2 It'd be a real shame if someone were to let Kirk Minahan know.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 2 But my real Fire Fest of the week is

Speaker 2 I've had dog trouble this week. Dog trouble starting last week with Blake.
He's been limping a lot.

Speaker 2 Took him into the vet, was very scared because there's all sorts of shoulder injuries that they said he could have. And they're all like a six-month to a year recovery.
And Blake's very much a puppy.

Speaker 2 And so he's obviously like super, super active. Turns out it's growing pains, but it's bad growing pains.
The worst part about this whole experience has been I've had Blake doped up to hell all week.

Speaker 2 So he's drooling, he's sleeping, trying to keep his energy down so he doesn't walk around at all.

Speaker 2 But every time he starts to sober up, he just starts to sprint around the house because he's like, holy shit, I can play again. And then he re-injured his shoulder.
So it's like

Speaker 1 hurt or injured.

Speaker 2 I think he's just hurt.

Speaker 2 But when he wakes up, he's now waking up super early in the morning because he sleeps all day. So he wakes up at like 5 a.m.

Speaker 2 and he just comes up to me and just claws my chest, paws me to roll me over or wake me up.

Speaker 2 And he's been, it's been tough trying to just get any sort of exercise into him without him um re-injuring himself and so now today

Speaker 2 i'm out of uh all the like sedatives that i had for him so now he's just going to be re-injuring himself left and right left and right running around um so yeah this is gonna be an interesting master's weekend because i like you said best couch weekend of the year yeah blake's not gonna want he's gonna be like let's go out and play you get more get off the couch you get can you get more prescription could we get pug could go get some yeah pug could get some go to the vet yeah hook it up get some Zedone Pug.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he'll get it for you.

Speaker 2 Get him on a drip, but that's bad. And then also, my house is

Speaker 2 the joys of a homeowner, you forget all the stuff that your super used to take care of.

Speaker 2 I've had like three things fall apart in my house that's wintertime.

Speaker 2 And now, because it's out of the wintertime, I have to fix those things. Like the garage door.
Remember when I told you the garage door got frozen to the bottom? So it bent the door.

Speaker 2 Now I have to get my garage door fixed. My outside door got jammed, and I tried to yank it open and pulled it off the hinges and broke a hinge.
I now I have to get that fixed.

Speaker 2 And yeah, just stuff falling apart around the house. It's tough.

Speaker 1 It's crazy because, you know, as everyone knows from Billy's campaign, dudes can't buy houses anymore.

Speaker 1 So I became a homeowner, whatever, a year ago, first time in my life. And it is...

Speaker 1 It's awesome owning a house, but man, you forget how much shit you could just call someone and be like, hey, come fix this. Now you're like,

Speaker 1 it's my house. I got to fix it myself.

Speaker 2 There's tons of stuff. And especially since I bought Michael Jordan's old house, having somebody come out and redo like the custom 23 garage door, that's going to take a long time.

Speaker 1 The wood floors are buckling a little on your basketball court.

Speaker 2 The blackjack table, the felt on the third blackjack table, not the primary two, is coming up a little bit. And now I got to get a felt guy.
Oh, man. Sucks.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 The uber, uber rich who just have like house managers. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's it. Like a guy that is the boss.

Speaker 1 Yeah, who just just is around the house and he's just like, yeah, I'll take care of this. I'll take care of that.

Speaker 2 You have a company that works inside your house because you have the manager and then you have like the landscapers and all the handymen. It'd be nice to be there, right? It'd be really nice.

Speaker 1 Okay, my firefest is,

Speaker 1 I tweeted this on Saturday when we were at the Final Four, but after 39, maybe not 39 years, because probably when I was a baby, this happened.

Speaker 1 Probably 34 years, I had a great run as a guy who didn't spill on on himself, and that run has come to an end. I am now a spill guy.
Happens probably once a week.

Speaker 1 Chips and queso have become the devil.

Speaker 1 I just end up with a spill no matter what.

Speaker 1 I think its reflexes have gotten slower and just maybe not paying as much attention because I was, I did pride myself as being a guy who very rarely spilled anything.

Speaker 2 I think I know what it is. What? I think I know the difference.

Speaker 2 I've noticed this about myself, and I think as a dad, this applies more directly to you. You probably do more eating while standing than you did at any other time.
That's very true.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 I am a big stand and eat guy because I'm convinced that if you're standing while eating, the calories are basically halved because it's like you never sat down and had a real meal.

Speaker 1 But yeah,

Speaker 1 it's tough to come to grips with being like, okay, I'm the guy who will just have a huge mark right in the middle of his sweatshirt or t-shirt once a week, and there's nothing I can do about it.

Speaker 1 I've just, I've become, I actually appreciate everyone because when I did tweet it, there was a lot of people who were like, welcome to the club. Like, it's okay.
Won't you admit it?

Speaker 1 Because I think that would probably be worse if I somehow denied the fact that I was a spill guy.

Speaker 1 If I was a spill guy in denial, I think that would be worse because I would basically just be living like, oh, no, I'm fine. I don't spill.
I'm a spill guy. I spill on myself.

Speaker 2 I've noticed I've started to spill way more when I drink. Yeah.
It's like out the side of my mouth doesn't work.

Speaker 1 Your mouth doesn't work.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Your mouth doesn't work.
Your hands don't work.

Speaker 1 It's just, yeah, and reflexes are just different. Like, I'll have moments where

Speaker 1 I will spill and old me would would do the thing where you know you almost step back like in the matrix yeah dodge the thing that's coming down on your shirt you might have to become that doesn't even happen might become a bib guy i should become a bib guy how come bibs are only for for guys that are eating lobster and babies we should have more bibs yeah bibs are fine or you could be we could just design shirts that have like pre-designed spills on them Yeah, that would be good, too.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 it's getting to a point, too, where I think when you have to fully admit that you're a spill guy, is I've had multiple times in the last couple of months where I spill and don't realize I spilled for a solid like five, 10 minutes.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's worse because

Speaker 1 you didn't even come into my head that like, oh, you might have spilled on yourself. And then I look down 10 minutes later.
I'm like, there's just a fucking huge splotch of salsa on my shirt.

Speaker 2 So my dad used to always be shirtless around the house.

Speaker 2 If there wasn't company over, he would just be like, I'm in my own house. Let me stop you right there.

Speaker 1 I can't take my shirt off.

Speaker 2 Well, okay. Well, that's not.
Yeah, let me stop you right there.

Speaker 1 That might be the next thing. He's He's nodding his head right now.

Speaker 1 There's shirtless guys and not.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but no, there's a lot of dudes. They get older.

Speaker 2 They don't care. It's like my house.
I'm going to take my shirt off and hang out.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 You can't spill on your shirt if you're not wearing one.

Speaker 1 You don't have enough shame if you're one of those guys. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And just to be clear, like, I would love to be a shirtless guy.

Speaker 1 You just, I'd have to be 40 pounds lighter because I always was jealous of the guy who would, you know, it's 60 degrees out, first nice day in spring, and they're just walking around with their top off because they have something to flaunt.

Speaker 1 I have have to keep my shirt on at all times. And I make fun of those guys.
I'm like, oh, this guy coming around with a shirt off just wants to show everyone he has.

Speaker 1 But like realistically, I'd love to. Oh, yeah, of course.
Of course.

Speaker 1 Max, you can back me up. I probably have no shirt on for not counting shower time

Speaker 2 15 seconds a day.

Speaker 1 I quick change even in my bathroom, in my closet. I'll quick change.
Hate it. Hate it.

Speaker 1 So yeah, that one's out.

Speaker 1 Good idea, but it's out.

Speaker 2 You just got to transition to not giving giving a fuck.

Speaker 1 Nah, it's still because you just know what you look like without your shirt on, and it's such a bad scene that you, it's actually, we're actually being gracious to everyone around us.

Speaker 1 Yes, no one wants to see that. Also, Spill Guy, Spill Guy has to do it.
Like, that's also a fat guy move. Yeah, but I was

Speaker 2 like I said, no, no, Max, you're very wrong about that. Spill guy, it affects all body type.

Speaker 1 Spill guy, I think, is, yeah, more reflexes. Like, because I was not a Spill Guy.
I know people won't believe me, but for the longest time, I was, you know, even like,

Speaker 1 I prided myself on being an incredible ice cream cone guy. Like, I was, I didn't have that shit flying around.

Speaker 1 I was, I knew when the bottom was starting to give, get that, get that napkin under there. It just, it just went on me.
So, reflexes are gone. I'm a spill guy now.

Speaker 2 I think you gotta, so you, you should either wear a bib or you should sit down more while you eat. Yeah, those are the only two options here.

Speaker 2 But I don't think that sitting down while you eat it is really an option at all because when we're on the road, we graze. Yeah.
There's like food that's that's around. Exactly.

Speaker 2 Sometimes we don't have dinner time. Sometimes we don't have lunch.
We have like a little spread that's set out while we're working. You have to stand while you eat that.

Speaker 1 I ate, I was very hungry this morning. I ordered breakfast or lunch at 9.30, which was crazy, but whatever.
Just follow me here. I got a burrito.

Speaker 1 I ate the whole burrito over a trash can because I was like, I know this is going to be a problem.

Speaker 1 So I was just standing over a trash can being like, I can't let a spill happen at 9.30 in the morning when I'm eating lunch.

Speaker 1 And people are like, why do you have burrito on your fucking sweatshirt at 9.30 in the morning? So, yeah, I'm a spill guy. I embrace it.
Welcome, all the spill guys who have welcomed me to the party.

Speaker 1 I appreciate it. We will stand together.
No shaming spills. It just happens.
Sometime in life, you just become a spill guy.

Speaker 2 Should make a car wash for dudes. I think it's just a shower.
No, but just walk through it. Just walk through it real fast.

Speaker 1 All right, Jake, finish this off. And then we'll actually add on Hank.
So finish us off and then we'll do Hank. All right.

Speaker 1 So Saturday night after the final four, it took me an hour and a half to get an Uber. I was stranded at State Farm Stadium.
I would have just given up. And the prices kept going up.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was like $200 to get home. They surge you.
It's crazy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's such a frustrating thing when the app is like still loading, loading, loading. See your driver details soon.
After about 45 minutes, I just would have held my breath. I walked in.

Speaker 1 I've just been like, okay, that's it for me. And I asked for a cab company and I called them and no one answered.
And it was just a disaster. I should have sat on the curb and cried.

Speaker 1 I was at that point. Hitchhike.
Bring back hitchhiking. Bring back hitchhiking.

Speaker 2 Hitchhiking was safe. I feel like hitchhiking got a bad rap because there were a couple serial killers out there.
A couple murders.

Speaker 1 A couple murders.

Speaker 2 Who cares? Who cares?

Speaker 2 I'd say almost 100% of serial killers, excuse me, almost 100% of hitchhikers ended without a serial killer encounter. And that's how everyone got around in the 60s.
Yeah, it's true.

Speaker 1 Talk to your people. A couple guys ruined it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, so. Should we just stop right here and then we'll do Hank? Yep.
So we're going to have the next thing you'll hear is Henry Lockwood sitting on this couch with the biggest Fire Fest of all time.

Speaker 1 Okay, so Hank. Hey, guys.
Good to see that you're alive.

Speaker 2 We're just now doing Fire Fest of the Week.

Speaker 1 So we actually taped a whole Fire Fest without you, and we said during it that, like, we might just have to delete this if you're dead, but you're not.

Speaker 4 I'm not excited to hear that. I am excited that I'm alive, and that's not, you guys don't have to do that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I'm worried sick about you, Hank.

Speaker 4 Yeah, worried sick. Yeah, I mean, that's fair.
That's a fair concern. It was a very reasonable hour to be awake, and I wasn't.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, walk us through what happened and how bad your scaries were when you realized what had happened.

Speaker 4 My anxiety is still crawling out of my skin.

Speaker 4 No excuses, really just, really just embarrassing, honestly. But if I was giving excuses, which I'm not, because there are none,

Speaker 4 more just why it happened.

Speaker 4 Was up early early yesterday, was here early

Speaker 4 for mini golf. Only had a couple hours of sleep.
Long day.

Speaker 4 And then Caleb, our friend, was in town. He's like, oh, I'm going to come check out your apartment.

Speaker 4 That turned into a long night. That turned into a long night.
We went out late, a few bars, club, late night, on little sleep. Got home, put my phone in the charger, turned my fan app on.

Speaker 4 But it was on the charger where it's on the back,

Speaker 1 not plugged in.

Speaker 2 Oh, the magnetic charger?

Speaker 4 One of those magnetic chargers.

Speaker 4 You just put it on and assume it charges.

Speaker 4 And then I opened my eyes and I was like, it's really bright outside and I'm rested. And I was like, this is bad.
I could just tell by how much, you know, I knew what time I went to bed.

Speaker 4 And I was like, I could tell by how rested I was that this is very bad. And I was like, my phone was dead.
I was like, oh, fuck, this is a disaster. Couldn't even figure out how to get the time.

Speaker 4 I was like, I know this is bad, but what time is it?

Speaker 1 We said that. We're like, I don't think he has a clock.

Speaker 4 I have a clock in my microwave I found, and I was praying.

Speaker 1 In your microwave?

Speaker 4 On my microwave. Praying that it was

Speaker 4 like the time difference. It was an hour ahead somehow, that it was like 11.40 or that it was 10.40, not 11.40.

Speaker 4 And then I turned on my TV. I figured out if I turned on my TV and looked at the guide, it would tell me.
Yeah. And it was 11.40.

Speaker 2 Do you remember there was a number growing up that's going to date us that you could call and get the time? Yeah. It would just tell you what time it was.

Speaker 4 I wouldn't have had a phone to call.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So, all right.
So, the worst part had to have been the moment you woke up to the moment your phone was fully charged to turn on.

Speaker 4 Yeah, because I also left my laptop here. So, I was like, I couldn't even, I couldn't even get on.

Speaker 4 The anxiety about what I missed and texts and calls and stuff was just absolutely ripping. And it took, it felt like it took an hour for my phone to turn on.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you actually, you missed OJ's death.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 OJ died. Did you know that? What?

Speaker 1 OJ died, yeah. Oh, nice.
We get to break the news egg.

Speaker 1 OJ's dead.

Speaker 2 OJ Simpson? OJ Simpson dead?

Speaker 1 Dead. How? Dead.

Speaker 2 Died by death.

Speaker 1 Dead. That's confirmed.
Confirmed, dead. Everyone's been talking about it.

Speaker 4 That's insane. He is dead.

Speaker 2 He ain't coming back.

Speaker 1 That is accurate. I wish we hadn't told him.
Yeah. See, how long could he go without knowing that? He was back of the week on Monday.

Speaker 1 Wow. So, Hank, you didn't know OJ died.
No.

Speaker 2 What are your thoughts on OJ?

Speaker 4 Bad guy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Good riddance. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Only the good die young. He was 78.

Speaker 1 That's older than I thought.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 what are we going to reassess the protocol here? Are we going to have a meeting about how we internally,

Speaker 1 how we fix this so it doesn't happen again? Probably if he does it again, he has to get a soul patch for two years. Oh, good.
Get that point. Yep.
Who was the first call? Was I the first call? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, the fact that I called your

Speaker 1 apartment, because I was like, we did the whole fire fest. Well, it's also Wednesday.

Speaker 4 I never go.

Speaker 1 would never I thought you'd gone home because you were about I did go home.

Speaker 4 I was home and Caleb was like, I'm just gonna come check out your apartment. I thought we were gonna like have a couple drinks and hang out.

Speaker 1 So it's Caleb's fault. No, no, it's my fault.

Speaker 2 Hank, I have a serious question for you.

Speaker 1 Have you become a club guy?

Speaker 1 I've always kind of been a club guy.

Speaker 2 But like I think you're really into clubs now.

Speaker 4 No, not necessarily.

Speaker 4 It's fun. It's fun in the right circumstance.
I think Hank is fun. But like I wouldn't go to a club on a regular weekend.
Like on a Friday.

Speaker 4 Like I, you know, if I was going out this weekend, I wouldn't go to a club.

Speaker 2 Okay, fact of fiction. Is Wednesday a weeknight?

Speaker 4 Wednesday is a weeknight.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
I think Hank is in the category. Caleb had a famous line maybe five years ago where he just was like,

Speaker 1 I'm done apologizing for partying. And he was like, I'm just not.
I'm going to party, and I don't care what anyone says about it. I think Hank might be in that spot.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I apologize for partying last night. I mean, my actions are bad.
I'm trying to figure out a way to.

Speaker 1 You're not in trouble.

Speaker 4 No, I know, but

Speaker 4 I just feel bad. I think I'm going to get

Speaker 4 a bar tab for the crew, crew members of Mini Golf. They've had a busy few days trying to.

Speaker 1 Are you going to go back to the bar tonight?

Speaker 4 I don't know if I'm going to go, but I'm going to

Speaker 1 pay it forward.

Speaker 2 It's going to turn into the exact same thing tomorrow.

Speaker 1 I just remembered something. Hank, Sunday, you told me that you were done drinking for six weeks.
Oh, no.

Speaker 4 I was.

Speaker 1 We were getting a beer before the game, and he was like, yeah, this will probably be my last day. I'm going to go six weeks, no drinking.

Speaker 1 I mean, I did.

Speaker 4 that was the plan and then i went home and i was like oh you know

Speaker 2 wait you did what

Speaker 1 i

Speaker 2 you went two days without drinking

Speaker 4 yeah no i i have i have i have no excuse you quit drinking for six weeks for two days i i am quitting drinking now until may i have a wedding friend's wedding in may may 18th okay what about tonight

Speaker 1 well this is like you you got a you know hair of the dog yeah you got and if you know i'll i don't know if i'll go but i'm gonna i'm gonna get the tab and if i go i might have you know one beer just one i'm happy you're okay because there was, we joked about it, and then the fear started to creep in my head where I was like, wait, are we joking about something that could be an actual problem?

Speaker 1 No, no, just I'm a fucking idiot.

Speaker 2 What you said was very, very relatable, though. Where you wake up and you immediately feel so good that you feel bad.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you feel like I'm way too rested. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, numbers. Let's do numbers.
Good show.

Speaker 1 Scott Van Pelt on Monday.

Speaker 1 As is tradition. I'm going to to take

Speaker 2 20

Speaker 2 for the amount of hours Hank slept last night.

Speaker 1 I'll take 17. Three.
Oh, I was going to do that. Fuck.
Three. All right, I'll take what's Max's usual number? 20.

Speaker 2 I took that. Oh, you did?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 18. Give me 56.
Tiger hitting Lefty. Why?

Speaker 1 Why did you pick 56?

Speaker 1 Why? That's the only number I've ever won on.

Speaker 1 At the old office.

Speaker 1 Oh, I just happened to pick it.

Speaker 1 He's Wait, look, plug, plug it. Yeah, no, I'm not.
I'm not gonna hit it. No, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 Shane?

Speaker 1 21.

Speaker 1 57. Oh,

Speaker 1 damn.

Speaker 2 Love you guys. Talking away.

Speaker 1 I don't know what I'm to say. I'm saying anyway.

Speaker 1 Today's a map day to find you. Shy away.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for your love of day, for your love of day, for your love of day,

Speaker 1 for your love of

Speaker 1 day,

Speaker 1 take

Speaker 1 me on.

Speaker 1 I'll be on

Speaker 1 today's to say,

Speaker 1 about sentence, but I'll be stone a little bit.

Speaker 1 So, learning that life is okay.

Speaker 1 Say after me.

Speaker 1 It's not better to be safe. It's not better to be safe.
It's a better to be safe. It's a better to be safe.

Speaker 1 Take on me.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 me on.

Speaker 1 I'll be gone

Speaker 1 without doubt.