
Masters With Ryan Whitney & Kirk Minihane, OJ Simpson Dead, Shohei's Forensic Accounting Has Come Back + Fyre Fest Of The Week
OJ Simpson is Dead. We talk Masters round 1 and Bryson is back (00:00:00-00:17:18). Shohei Ohtani's forensic accounting came back and we discuss what actually happened (00:17:18-00:28:55). Kentucky has a new basketball coach and it's Mark Pope after everyone else said no (00:28:55-00:42:52). Ryan Whitney and Kirk Minihane join the show in studio to talk Masters, favorite current players, Augusta memories and more (00:42:52-01:30:09). We finish with an all time Fyre Fest as Hank accidentally slept until 1130 in the morning (01:30:09-01:53:37).
You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take
Listen and Follow Along
Full Transcript
Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. In 2025, maybe you're ready for a plot twist.
Maybe there's a part of your story that you've been wanting to revise. Think about therapy as your editorial partner.
It helps you write new chapters and creates the meaningful story that you deserve to live. I've personally used therapy in the past as a tool to help me get through some times of loss and to also help me prioritize what was important in my life and help me focus on those and create a future that I was very happy in and very confident in.
Therapy has been a great tool for me. I personally recommend it.
If you're thinking about starting therapy, I couldn't recommend it more. Give it a try.
BetterHelp is fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient,
serving over 5 million people worldwide.
Access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists
with a wide range of specialties.
You can easily switch therapists at any time for no extra cost.
Write your own story with BetterHelp.
Visit BetterHelp.com slash PMT today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash PMT.
On today's part of my take, we have our good friends, Ryan Whitney and Kirk Minahan in studio to talk some masters, what we like this weekend, just the pomp and circumstance of of augusta great time with those guys uh we are going to talk about some death we're going to talk about the masters first round we also have a new coach of kentucky we have some details on the show hey case and then we have a fire fest you're not going to want to miss you can miss it you're not going to want to miss it if you are uh someone well if we're doing power rankings of this episode a part of my take um i've got hank as my sleeper yeah big time sleeper uh also if you are just someone who likes to watch hank suffer uh the new pm tv is out as well so fire fest and new PMTV is kind of your Super Bowl. Either way, let's get to the show.
Ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working? Nah, neither has Ariat. Ariat work jackets and boots are packed with all the cold-stopping waterproof protection you need to get the job done under any conditions so you can take any job out there and always deliver.
Check out Ariat in
your local workwear retailer or visit Ariat.com slash work to get 10% off your first order when
you sign up for email and whether whatever in Ariat work gear. Okay, let's go.
Boy! Boy!
Now in the street there is violence And then there's lots of work to be done
No place to hang out or wash in
And then I can't blame all on the sun
Oh no
We're gonna rock down to Electric Irony And then we'll take it higher Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Irony It's Part of My Take presented by Marshall Sports Welcome to Part of My Take presented by DraftKings Sportsbook Use code TAKE right now and you can bet $5 to get $150 instantly in bonus bets. Only at DraftKings Sportsbook with code TAKE.
Today is Friday, April 12th, and this is the first part of my take without OJ Simpson as a listener. How about that? Long time AWL OJ Simpson.
Big time. Remember when we almost interviewed him? Yes.
When he was getting let out of prison for the memorabilia. I think we've told this story, but PFT and I were approached and told that there was an ad deal where we would literally be in a van picking him up from prison.
Uh-huh. And we both were like, I don't know.
We usually don't know where the line is. That was a pretty clear line to me.
It never got to the point. It was just a thought starter that was presented to us.
So it never got to the point where we could officially say no, but we were definitely leaning like, I don't think this is the best. That episode would be doing numbers right now.
Yeah, we might have. If it had gotten official, we might have done it.
Yeah. Because remember, it was presented to us, but it never got to the point where we were like, you got to give us a yes or no.
If we had gotten to that point, we might have said yes. I don't think we were.
I think we shut it down pretty quick, if I remember, because we were like, you know what? Let someone else do it. He is a murderer.
Yeah, let someone else do it. Listen, we'll have Dan Bilzerian on.
He hasn't killed anyone that we know of. But OJ said.
But OJ was a bridge too far for us. The big news is it's finally okay to donate to cancer curing charities now again.
Yes. Because now there's no chance that money goes to help OJ.
OJ, yeah. And so, yeah, it's weird because OJ Simpson, there's not many deaths, especially, you know, people that are getting up there in age where you're like, oh, shit.
But OJ Simpson is, oh, shit. Like, oh, OJ died.
And guess what? what the best part well uh yeah the best part of of i can't his death i can't pick just one okay but here's one okay uh if you tune into the fire fest today you actually get to hear hank's reaction that's true to oj's death because he didn't find out for about eight hours after eight hours afterwards we got to break the news to hank live and he pulled the uh the donald trump what's this what's this you're saying i haven't heard of that it's the first i've heard of this it was great it was a great moment for the show uh i i actually found out from jeff d low oh this morning because i was doing something on my computer i was doing some paperwork and jeff texted me and it was like 20 minutes before the news became official and it just said did oj die and i was like what and he's like look at his twitter i unfortunately am blocked by oj simpson on twitter so i could not access that we got to get you unblocked but i get yeah you know what now that he's dead i'd like i'd like his corpse to unblock me but i guess he broke his twitter broke the news right yeah yeah his twitter broke the news and uh jeffy lowe is our resident uh black and white picture like you know in memoriam guy he have one ready to go for? I think he had one ready to go for. I think he has one ready to go for all of us, which is pretty crazy.
Yeah. Somewhere in those files.
Say what you will about OJ, but he was a way, way better football player than person. Yes.
Yes. Not even close.
Absolutely. I'd say Hernandez, OJ Simpson, two guys you can definitively say that about.
Way better at football. So much better at football.
Like, so, so much better. He had 2,000 yards in 14 games.
Yeah. But you know what I realized after OJ died? The Bills haven't made the Super Bowl since he committed double murder.
That was the year. 1994, the Bills play in the Super Bowl.
1994. You have the Super Bowls lined up right? Yeah.
Like, which year? I believe it was in the year 1994. I like this.
OJ killed his wife and Ron Goldman in 1994. Bills have not been back to the Super Bowl.
This might be good things for the Bills. This might be a good thing for the Bills.
Do you think there's any chance the Bills have a helmet sticker that says OJ on it for next year? I would say no. Probably not.
I would say no like that's not gonna happen probably not i wonder if cancer will get acquitted of murder in this case yeah uh all right yeah so yeah 19 yeah my birthday 1994 was the bill's last super bowl and then the murder was 1994 sometime in 94 yeah summer 94 yeah wow okay so see ya oj see ya peace man moment of silence for oj not roasted him yeah and then yeah this was a twitter was having a way with it yeah june 12th 1994 okay so yeah i think i think the word i think the word uh they haven't played a football season like it was they hadn't even played the next football that's what i'm saying it was like Right after the next football season That's what I'm saying The word complicated was trending on Twitter For a little bit today Because everyone was struggling to figure out a word to frame Because you don't want to make fun of the dead Or you don't want to insult the dead Excuse me If you're a reputable news source So all these places were saying O.J. Simpson, a complicated man with a complicated legacy.
Yeah. Yeah.
Just say what we said. Way better football player than person.
He's so good at football. Which always, we've said it before, but it is very funny whenever someone says any of that with the other way around.
Yeah. Like the J.J.
Watt is a better person than he is a football player. No.
No. No.
He's one of the best football players of all time. So good at football.
He's incredible at football. His brother is almost a better football player than he is a person.
He puts two more seasons together. No, the perfect – Will Compton is a better person than he was a football player.
Oh, 100%. Yeah.
It's easy. Yeah.
It's easy. All right.
Other things we got. We got a lot.
Masters. Bryson DeShoppo is back.
One more thing with OJ. Yeah yeah um people are asking me about it so i'll address it right here i got into a little tiff with jose can say yes i saw that and it was because when oj died i said r.i.p to oj simpson heaven just got a great running back jose canseco was like wait a second oj's not in heaven yeah did you mean hell good oneose using that brain of yours can't get anything by him no smart guy so uh he called me out on it and i just roasted him i i made fun of jose canseco and uh then he came back at me put up a picture of me looking awesome in jenco jeans he thought he was the other picture was awesome too yeah the other picture was great had a full head of hair it was young and spry richie incognito on my shoulder and then uh i i told him to shut the fuck up bitch and then he said that he would kick my ass i reminded him that billy football beat the fuck out of him facts in about 20 seconds excuse me congressman billy football beat the fuck out of him about 20 seconds he wants to get in the ring with with me and i'll just you some facts real quick about Jose Canseco.
Yeah.
He's not allowed to fight.
No.
By decree of the state of West Virginia.
And also by the decree of Barstool Sports.
By Barstool Sports.
He's looking,
his fat ass is looking for a payday
because he's out of cash right now.
He literally is like,
he looked at his calendar and was like,
oh shit,
I'm going to just try to beef with someone at Barstool
again and get some money.
His fat old ass is protected by the same laws
that govern your ability to not hunt out of season or to like beat up a puppy yeah that's in the eyes of the state of west virginia his health is so bad that he is a protected class of citizens yeah you can't and is not allowed to fight elder abuse he got cut off in west virginia from fighting yeah that's very very hard to do very hard like getting cut at the bar in Dublin. Yeah.
So, you know, as far as OJ goes, excuse me, as far as Jose goes, I saw Frank the Tank get involved in it a little bit. Yeah, well, there are enemies.
I think Frank the Tank will be my champion in this fight if it does go to that level. I'll have Frank kick his ass.
Yeah, anyone could. And also, we can't because we're never going to pay him another dollar.
Not another dime. To fight.
Not another dime. Not a dime back.
All right, Masters. Bryson DeChambeau is back.
Leads the Masters after one round. Minus seven, although we haven't played the whole first round.
Max Homa could still lead the Masters. Max shot four under in the front nine.
And he got screwed by the wind. He got screwed by the wind and the sun today.
All the elements coming after Max. And he's in shape.
He's in good shape. He's never shot four under, I think, in a round in Augusta on the front nine.
So he's off to the best start of his career. He is.
And we'll get into it more with Whitney and Kirk. But I think I'm at the point now where I like seeing Bryson back in the back in the mix because we – you know, Brooks squashed the beef, so as we have to respectfully squash the beef as well.
Bryson also feels like he's, you know, maybe changed a little bit, loosened up a little bit. He did have a funny quote, though, talking about, like, everyone who's been in his corner.
He said, it's been really awesome to see how I can affect a lot of people's lives, juniorers lives middle-aged men even if they're coming out shouting thanks for the content appreciate what you do online do you there's no way someone shouted appreciate what you do online i think he's got a pretty active youtube channel i watch i watch his video appreciate what you do online i i get thanks for the content i get you think someone yelled appreciate what you do online yeah okay i'm gonna start sending that to you guys now as they should that's fine yeah i feel like that's a lot of that's a lot of words that you wouldn't really shout you should be like yo thanks a big fan so in the content as good of a golfer as bryson is as much as he's accomplished on the course, hearing thanks for the content, appreciate what you do online,
has to hit a little bit different than all that.
Then like, hey, I love your game.
No, thanks for the content.
You're like, yeah, this guy gets me.
So I put Bryson in that camp of he makes people mad.
And he's interesting.
You have an opinion about him,
so it's going to make the game more interesting.
Yeah, he is interesting.
I don't want him to win,
but it would be interesting if he stuck around. I want him in the mix uh we also had scotty scheffler who's always in the mix looking incredible as always he's minus six second place the steel this the the person who stole the show today was jason day's pants yeah jason day's parachute pants they look like they came right out of Max's closet.
You guys don't know fashion. Jason Day knows fashion.
That's a fact. I like this from him, by the way, because everyone's going one way.
Everyone's getting the tight pants, the inseam, all that shit. He's going the opposite way, throwback.
He looks like he's about to be drafted in the 2003 NBA draft. I like.
Did you guys see Tiger's pants from like 1997? Yeah.. They were like that too.
Yeah. When he was at the peak of his power.
We're not. We're not.
This is. Baggy pants are what is in right now with the young kids.
Hank. Right.
The company that he signed with Malvin Golf has has sick. Sick gear.
But wait. Isn't Jason Day like our age? He's cool though.
36. He is cool.
But he just signed. I like the pants.
He just signed signed the peril deal with this company who's like the the nice the hot gear company okay so we gotta get baggy pants i already got some yeah i already got it got a couple pair shit all right i never pants it up never really got into skinny jeans that much well yeah why would oh yeah like i think every i'll speak for myself i've attempted and they never made it out of my house i i remember i've i've actually i think i've done it twice where i've bought like black skinny-ish jeans put them on and then immediately threw them out yeah didn't even make them out of my bedroom because i was like what are you doing doing, dude? Do you ever have those moments where you're like, I'm going to do something I haven't done my entire life with fashion. And then you almost immediately like, yeah, that's why I haven't done it.
Doesn't work for me. Does not work for me.
Will not work. Can't win with it.
Yeah. Can't do it.
I think that certain fads out there, certain trends are just set up as a joke by the industry to be like, we'll see what these suckers will pay for and start wearing. I think the entire skinny jeans movement was like that.
You can't look, in my opinion, you can't look tough wearing skinny jeans. Yeah.
Like watching King Vaughn videos and he's wearing skinny jeans. I'm like, I could take that guy.
Yeah, you got to have middle of the road jeans. The other one I do is the, remember the fad with the like really thin fabric shirts, like t-shirts? That one didn't work either.
What was that, Hank? I wasn't expecting a King Von reference. He wore skinny jeans.
He wore skinny jeans, Hank. Yeah, I just didn't know you were familiar with the lore.
Yeah, with the lore. You think I don't know about Oblak? You don't think we know about that shit? Let me tell you a true story real quick, Hank.
That's good. Yeah.
All right, so yeah, and then Tiger looked okay. Although now he's got to play 25 holes? He looked pretty good.
He looked pretty good, but like a lot of the golfers that teed off later in the day, they got fucked over by the weather because when they started, they started a little bit late, right? Yeah. So the first guys that went out there, they got the nice soft greens, the real tackle greens.
And it wasn't as windy. It wasn as windy.
Then the wind comes in, dries it out a little bit. I don't think that we're going to see minus sixes, minus sevens tomorrow.
Yeah. So we need – and Brooks is fine.
Brooks is fine. He's good.
He's fine. Even through like 10, he's going to be fine.
John Rahm didn't look great today, but Scotty Scheffler does just look like it's a destiny. Yeah.
It looks like he is uh locked in on all accounts we just want i just want a really good ending uh and also everyone who bet on xander shuffley which was literally everyone in america not the best start he was the guy who everyone i i probably got that tip a hundred times xander shuffley i think he went from like 20 to 1 to like 14 to 1 Do you think Brooks was pissed off that everything got delayed so much today? Yeah. It's like the weather was one big.
For sure. One big Patrick can't lay for him.
For sure. It was definitely.
He wanted to get right to it. All right.
Before we do the other two topics that we have. When your home system or appliance breaks down, American Home Shield will help fix or replace the covered item no matter its age age.
Visit ahs.com slash listen for 20% off any plan. See ahs.com slash contracts for coverage details, limitations, and exclusions.
Okay. Other big story.
We have a shocking, not shocking, but shockingly quick, seemingly resolution to the Shohei Otani story. The forensic accountants, I always trusted in those guys.
They fucking did it. They did their work.
I don't think they have the whole story yet. So you still think Shohei was betting? I don't know what was going on.
He might not have been betting, but I think there's some other wrinkles that might come out of this. Okay, so the story comes out e-pay is now going to be prosecuted uh it's also part of a prosecution of the gambling ring uh so that's how this all kind of came to to light uh shohei sat down for a couple interviews with the irs and maybe the fbi handed over his cell phone went through his cell phone didn't find any text messages with Ipe about betting.
More stories come out that Ipe essentially, when Shohei moved to America, Ipe helped him open up his bank account. Basically kept him isolated from his agent, from his financial advisor.
Because the IRS and everyone interviewed those people as well,
and they're like, yeah, we never had access to a lot of this stuff,
because Ipe said that Shohei wanted to be a private person.
So he essentially isolated Shohei, what the story is saying.
He isolated him to a point where he could take advantage of him,
changed his phone settings so he didn't get alerts when the bank,
when there was transactions done.
And then there's also the text messages that we get uh from e-pay and the bookie um i don't know i i i happen to think that this guy's a scumbag and shohei didn't do anything wrong but you can be skeptical i understand the skepticism i'm definitely still skeptical nothing like there's nothing that's been proven against shohei right now but if his if his translator was just in charge of all of his shit, then they could do it without Shohei ever talking to this guy using electronic communication. Yeah.
That's what I'm saying. Shohei, just because there's no text there and all the stuff was coming from his translator's phone doesn't necessarily mean that Shohei- Now, again, there's no evidence against Shohei right now.
So it came out that he lost $40 million. He was making, on average, 25 bets a day.
If that was Shohei, there had to have been a text message about it. There could have been, but...
Like, there's no way that all those things happen without at least one text message talking about gambling. But go back to the thing he said he lost 40 million dollars the translator lost 40 million dollars the translator i think he won 142 million dollars and he lost 182 million dollars he had again again i go back to how is a translator able to bet win and lose that much money because he got a bookie.
Because he has a bookie, but his bookie is not extending credit to just a nobody. Right, I know.
I understand that part. I mean, the text messages were in there of Ipe and the bookie.
I want to say one thing real quick. 25 bets a day is not that crazy.
I want to say that. A lot were shaming that listen during this college football saturday it's not that crazy gamble responsibly also i read those text messages from ipa to the bookie let's just say i've seen those text messages before yeah so there was one in particular i'll just leave it at that i've seen those text messages where you just keep saying, I need a bump.
I'm so bad at this.
There was one. Handle responsibly.
It's legalized now.
There was one in particular where the report comes out on ESPN on March 20th.
And then Ipe texted the bookie and said, have you seen the reports?
The bookie said, yes, but that's all bullshit.
Obviously, you didn't steal from him.
I understand it's a cover job.
I totally get it.
Why does he think this is a cover job? What do you mean? No, but then the next text was Ipe said, I know technically I stole from him. Yes, the next text was technically I did steal from him.
It's all over for me. But the fact that the bookie was replying to Ipe with, I understand it's a cover job.
I totally get it. What in that report did he see as being the cover job that he totally got? Do you think Ipe was telling the bookmaker the entire time, like, Otani is bankrolling me? Probably.
He probably did. Because then there's the text from the bookie to Ipe saying, I don't know why you're not returning my calls i'm here in newport beach and i see otani walking his dog i'm just gonna go up and talk to him and ask him how i can get in touch with you since you're not responding please call me back immediately yeah so he knows that this guy is linked to shohei and he probably is like i i'm he's gonna be good for it because i can just be like you're shohei's interpreter i just the only like there are people with gambling addictions and that like it was kind of sad reading some of that and i understand he got in way too deep i just don't know the the truth which i think people don't want to believe because it sucks for shohei is that shohei's probably not the smartest and is too trusting he's definitely too trusting if if this is the case, yeah.
So how would they, why would the FBI and the IRS, like how would they be covering this up now if this was Shohei? Oh, no, no, no. If they interview Shohei and then get his phone.
I don't think that the FBI and the IRS are covering it up. I think that it's more likely that there's a cover-up between Shohei and his translator, Ipe.
Right. And the two of them know the truth.
I just don't believe... Wait, wait.
The two of them know the truth. Nobody else does this entire time.
It was Ipe's phone that had access to all of Shohei's accounts, and it was completely separated. And they never texted back and forth about bets.
And that way, Ohei was able to do it. That part makes no sense to me, because there's just no way if you're betting 20.
If Shohei is betting 25 times a day, there's just no way that he never texted him saying, hey, put this in for me. Unless they were smart about it.
There's just no way because Shohei would be sitting in his hotel being like, I want late action on this soccer game that's about to start. If he's betting that volume, he because that's a volume that you can't stop you can't be like oh i want to put a bet in but i can't talk to him directly so i like but i know i shouldn't text but as a translator they're together all the time yeah but i'm saying like late night they're sitting in a hotel or he shohei's you know somewhere that he's not at that moment 25 bets a day that means you're betting everything.
That's the only part that there would be no chance if you were betting 25 bets a day that it was never put in text. There's a 0% chance that the FBI is covering up for Shohei Otani.
That's clear because if you're the FBI for the Department of Justice, you want nothing more than to catch Shohei Otani in the gambling ring like, that's a career making case right there. I also don't know how you could do 25 bets a day and still be good at baseball.
That's a lot of work. It's a ton of work.
But again, like, dude, they, this guy gambled $320 million. That's for a guy that makes, that's total, total.
But for a guy that makes 200,000 a year at the most. Yeah, I know.
But if he's, if he's making payments, then nothing matters to a bookie. Like that's total total but for a guy that makes 200,000 a year at the most yeah i know but if he's if he's making payments then nothing matters to a bookie like that's the thing is if he made the payments they're not gonna ask questions and so what was show his salary between uh this like four-year span still pretty large i just think the like i understand the skepticism i'm not gonna 100 be like yeah show had part in any of this.
I just think that the reality might just be that Shohei is not the brightest and was way too trusting to a guy that he thought was family. And it's the perfect crime in the fact that Shohei has no one.
You're in a country where no one speaks your language, and the one person you're supposed to trust who tells you everything is taking advantage. He's in this position where he can be taken advantage of because no one else he can converse with yeah i think that uh there's definitely a chance that show he didn't have anything to do with it that's that's without a doubt a possibility i'm i'm not convinced of it yet how much do you make what does it say 40 i can't read it it's too small 41 954 okay 259 so i guess maybe he probably had some endorsements too.
Maybe he just doesn't check his bank account Yeah, I don't know I read that he was for the longest time His mom was controlling his bank account So it's like It definitely felt like Shohei It'd be funny his mom had a gambling problem too If it was his mom It was his mom the whole time Ipe's fallen on the sword for his mom Yeah, you think, Hank? I think he was gambling. You do? You think Shohei was gambling? Yeah.
I think a lot of people are accusing that. I think they just want the chaos, but I think that's crazy to accuse unless...
Like, they did a full investigation, and he's clear, right? Yeah. I mean, I don't always believe in...
Like, it's not... I'm not saying 100% that he's innocent, but I'm definitely leaning towards...
Because, like, I saw those text text messages and it sounded like a guy who was in way too deep and was very desperate to do anything. Let me put this in your head.
You've been around a lot of gamblers. Yes.
We work amongst them all the time. Is there any chance that Otani didn't know that Ipe had a gambling problem spending all day every day with him as Ipe is following his scores, you know, trying to find a bar that has a game on.
He probably thought he gambled.
Probably.
Yeah.
I mean, it would be pretty obvious that your buddy was betting on UCLA soccer all the time. But you don't know his unit.
Like, he could just be a stressed out guy that he thinks is betting like $1,000 on a game.
Right.
He could be playing it off like, yeah, I put $10. I mean, one of the bets bets was for ten dollars i'm dying to know what that one was but yeah probably parlay but that's but if you that's why i also think that there's no way i just i don't understand how there could not be any text message maybe you could say they're a different phone that he didn't hand over okay then i'll believe that but i just there's no way shohei was betting 25 times a day and there was never a single text about gambling to his interpreter there was another funny part of that uh the documents that came out today where they called they called ipay up the bank did because ipay was trying to get a wire transfer saying he was going to use it to buy a porsche yeah and i think he was asking for a couple hundred thousand dollars and they called him and uh for whatever reason it got flagged it was like no don't authorize this transfer otani had a massive endorsement deal with porsche at the time and he was trying to he was saying he was using it to buy a car yeah and there was another one that they found that he was faking to be otani on the phone that was one of the same one yeah yeah so like i don't know i maybe i'm just too trusting in forensic accounting but i shout out the forensic accountants they did they did at least some good work.
They did their job. Yeah, they did their job.
And it sucks to be like, because the reality is if Shohei was completely innocent, at worst is the most embarrassing thing to have that happen to you. And everyone would be like, dude, how did that happen? Also, Ipe was a really bad gambler.
Really bad gambler. It sounds like he rode the hungry dog.
Yeah, we don't. Yeah, Dan Heron did say that he was following my motor locks.
It would be funny if it comes out like they do a forensic accounting of his laptop, and he was just watching Barstool Sports Survivors every week being like, these guys know ball. These guys are sharp.
I want to know the worst beat that Ipe had. I saw he had that USC.
Was it USC? UCLA. Yeah.
I think they were 11-point favorites over Fresno State and lost outright. And that was the one that sent him over the edge, right? Yeah.
Yeah. And that's a late-night game.
Yeah. That's – yep.
Yeah. So we'll see.
I mean, is it – so, like, what's the next step? He's going to go to – he's going to go to – he's getting prosecuted. He's getting prosecuted.
Yeah. So he can face I think he's facing up to 30 years in prison.
Also, the fact that he pay they looked into his past and he's been like lying for a long time does make it seem like it's more realistic that he's just a big fraudster, you know, and just scamming everyone. All right.
Last thing. Kentucky has new head head coach congrats and it is not dan early and it is not billy donovan it's definitely rick patino it's not rick patino it's not nate oats not scott there is scott drew not scott drew he trusts in god god told him to stay at baylor so yeah the the exact quote i actually i saved this he said we truly believe god has called my family and I to continue our work stay at Baylor.
So, yeah, the exact quote, I actually saved this. He said, we truly believe God has called my family and I to continue our work here at Baylor.
I just want to remind people of the last guy that said God is commanding them to live in Waco, Texas. Yeah.
And how that turned out. Yeah, not great.
So they got Mark Pope. BYU national champion at Kentucky throwing it back captain of the 1996 Rick Pitino led Kentucky Wildcats you got Mark Pope got Mark Pope and Big Blue Nation is not happy I mean Mark Pope is a good coach and he does have Kentucky ties but big blue nation is not happy so if you go back to when we interviewed matt jones a couple weeks ago he was talking about all the qualities they were looking for in a head coach he wanted a splash he wanted a guy that was you know flashy that was a big personality big kentucky big job they need a big coach mark pope seems like he is underwhelming on on every account possible for kentucky wildcat fans but you can look at pictures of him with rick patino the 1996 kentucky wildcats yep sometimes you got to go back to move forward mark pope it's true and cal looked so weird in red he looked very strange in red he said that he uh he met with a team met with a team the whole team yep uh how Yep.
How many guys were there? There is no team. Okay, no team.
That, I actually felt bad for Cal there because he was trying to do a punchline and no one bit. They didn't get it.
He's like, I met with a team, there is no team. And no one fucking bit with it.
Yeah, now I would venture to say that a lot of Kentucky Wildcat players will be committing to Arkansas. Maybe a of them yeah at least a few I don't see Mark Pope bringing in five-star recruits left and right yeah Cal also had this he said we got to get a roster together and some of it is a little bit of everything mm-hmm yeah that's that's that's a quote he said Kentucky is the bluest of blue there's only only a few schools like that, and I hate to tell you, Arkansas is one of them.
Yep. Okay.
Okay. He also said, I didn't want anything out until after the national championship game that we were even talking because I didn't think that was fair.
It literally all came out before the national championship game. Yeah, it was the night before, I think.
So, yeah, he says that Arkansas has a blue blood? Yes. They are one of them.
You know what? Cal might be a blue blood. He could be.
I think anywhere he goes, he just brings the blood with him. The more that comes out of the Cal exit is very funny because Cal, it seems like he was doing like he was taking one last shot at a power play that almost worked.
So there's like I read a couple stories. Also, Trilly Donovan, who's a inside basketball guy who I think he has a maybe it's a telegram where he sends he's right about a lot of stuff.
And he basically was spelling it out before any of it came out in public. He was like, Cal's making a power play with the former DePaul AD, his good friend, to get an offer from Arkansas, then come back to Kentucky and be like, match it or give me a new deal and have the fans revolt and get Barnhart out.
Oh, okay. And then he'd get his friend in as the AD.
He got caught in like a game of chicken. Right.
It's like when george lied to susan's parents about the the house at the hamptons he ends up driving all the way out there now he's down harkinson i respect the move because it was clear that he and uh barnhart were not good friends so he was trying a last ditch effort to be like let's get him out so i can stay and then as soon as it was clear he wasn't gonna get out he's like all right i'll go to Well, now people want Barnhart out now for hiring Pope. Or Pope, yeah, he should just wait.
So maybe Cal to Kentucky. Yes.
I do think Cal's going to win at Arkansas. He's going to be a good coach in Arkansas.
It's a good basketball school. I also think at the same time, Kentucky, they will be fine long term.
Yeah. And we don't know shit about ball.
This guy might end up being a great coach, a great fit at Kentucky. We don but it's not it's not like the splash higher that they wanted here's the thing it's it's kind of it's it's it's not going to be immediate like if you got danny hurley it'd probably be immediate if you got nato it'd probably be immediate even scott drew so it might be a little bit more of a build but one of the complaints that kentucky fans have had for the last four or five years is like we get the recruits but, but we don't have coaching.
Mark Pope can coach. So you get the coaching now.
Kenny Crute. Kenny Crute.
We don't know that. Cal can Crute.
He can Crute. He can Crute.
He's a Cruder. They said that Danny Hurley turned down $20 million.
Shout out Danny Hurley. That's what people in Kentucky are saying.
I don't know if that's the right number. That would make him, I think Bill Self is the highest paid coach.
Yeah. And he makes $9 million.
Yeah. $9.5 million, I think.
So this would more than double. Yeah.
I don't know if that number's right, but if it's above $15 million, that's still a crazy amount of money for him to turn down. UConn should be very happy.
What did you, Max, you had the inside source. What was it? It was $15 million plus incentives to get to $20 million? Well, that's what's what Jeff was saying.
It was 15 plus incentives for, I think, eight years. It was over 100 mil total was the number.
I asked Jeff about that, too. I said, where are you getting this from? He's just like, the guys are saying.
Yeah, but UConn's going to give him a huge deal. Yes.
Yeah, he's going to get a massive pay raise. He's going to get a massive, massive pay raise.
And I actually, as much as the money would obviously be nice if you're Danny Hurley, I do believe that there's something about if you go to Kentucky and you don't win, if you don't go to a Final Four in five years, you're out. Yeah.
He can coach at UConn for the next 10 years and not go to a Final Four and still be okay. That's what Cal did.
Cal literally went to his last final four was 2015 and the last, whatever,
nine years have not been great, especially the last four, and he kept his job because he had won before, and he had that leeway with the fan base. Yeah, and Arkansas, they'll get to a Final Four at some point.
I do, too. I think they'll be at a Final Four within, like, four years.
He might actually be a better coach now than he was at Kentucky. Change the scenery.
He might be too. I think they'll be in a Final Four within like four years.
He might actually
be a better coach now than he was at Kentucky.
Change the scenery. He might be nice.
I think it's
I think he's got it's got to be a little bit of an ego
bruise. Yeah.
People that
the fan base kind of turned on you so much
so he's going to maybe
feel like he's got to prove it again and
climb back up the mountain because that was Cal
for the long you know Cal
at the start of his Kentucky couldn't have gone
better. I think he went to four out of five
Final Fours won a national title
Thank you. and climb back up the mountain because that was Cal for the long – Cal at the start of his Kentucky couldn't have gone better.
I think he went to four out of five Final Fours, won a national title, could not have gone better. And then it faded because he had been on top of the mountain.
So maybe now he's got to climb back up. I want to see John Daly get involved with Arkansas basketball again.
See him like the sister Jean of Arkansas. Just wheel him out there.
I think the sister Jean's already decided. Tyson chicken guy you got a standing ovation oh they love that it was incredible I that is like if you want if you want a sign of like the change in college basketball and NIL and all that stuff is entire arena giving the Tyson chicken guy a standing ovation no I want I want John Daly in a wheelchair with an IV drip of vodka into his arm.
Just being wheeled up to the balcony in the upper row for the Final Four. He's giving thumbs-ups, pregame speeches to everybody drunk off his ass.
I want to see Arkansas get real weird with it. Yeah, what were you going to say, Max? I'm just thinking about this from a Kentucky fan's perspective.
If you're willing to give... What if the recruiting play is to...
I don't know if mark pope is a good recruiter but we're just going to 5x every single nil true in true because if they're willing to give danny hurley 20 million a year yeah and they just brought in pope for what probably four four yeah that that the n i the like money had 16 million dollars to work with there it's a good so what if you're like i'm just gonna give multi-million dollar deals to every single person that i want i don't think you're wrong about that um but i do think that they're probably not gonna have they're not gonna look at the remaining 16 million dollars as being like well we've got to spend this anyways because probably some of the guys the deep pockets don't have enough faith in mark pope to be like we trust giving him this guy but if you think he's a good coach then it would make even more sense that that you're like all right if you're if your worry is recruiting we'll take care of the recruiting all you have to take care of is coaching basketball because recruiting is different now it's so much easier if you have a shit ton of money yeah i think i i hope he works out i think it'd be a great story i just think that yeah i think that's like a spin zone for kentucky fans that like if this is the thing that you're worried about this is a different world of going and getting guys so the personality of the coach may not matter as much as the the pocketbooks of the guys who are making the deals.
And I think the problem is Kentucky fans, and I understand it, they're like, Mark Pope has not done anything.
Because he hasn't.
Like, he's, I don't even know if he's won a tournament game.
No, he hasn't. He's not won a tournament game.
Two tournaments, three CBIs, and one NIT.
So, the one thing you could say, though, and I do believe this, is that Mark Pope, you know, BYU going to the Big 12, like you see all the time, teams step up in class and they immediately fall down. Like they have a terrible year.
BYU had a good year. They were fifth in the Big 12.
Sixth seed and lost to the U.K. Yeah, they competed hard all year.
So it's like that's, I think, what you have to sell yourself on and just look at a bunch of pictures of the 96 wildcats i think that's really what it is so now there's gotta just keep looking at 96 wildcat pictures now there's an opening at byu yeah rick patino being good fit reportedly no contact with patino and they did not aggressively pursue billy d yeah billy d said he wasn't gonna go because i think he just realized like i don't jerry reinsdorf will never fire me and I don't have to go recruit. Yeah, the recruiting thing is big.
Like, a professional job to a college job, one is so much easier. Right.
But did they go after Bruce Pearl? Did they talk to him? That one – I didn't see anything. I think that – Matt Jones said they did not interview Pearl, Beard, and Miller.
They did talk to at least two other people besides Pope. He thinks one was Shaka.
He doesn't know who the other was. I don't think they – like, Kentucky is a blue blood, and I think they would not go out to Bruce Pearl because of, like, things in his past.
But the thing in his past is a cookout. I know.
It's a barbecue. I agree.
And also being a snitch. Being a snitch.
Yeah. I know his positions on the Middle East.
He loves Big Blue Nation. Yeah.
I just i they have a weird thing about it where they would i think they would be like oh we're bruce pearl like we can't touch that maybe he's a great coach too maybe i just can't believe they didn't they didn't offer 100 million to nate oats that's the crazy part to me because i don't know if he would turn that down yeah um there was also a tweet that scott drew put out yesterday where he was in a cafeteria in a cafe in waco with like one of the biggest boosters at baylor but then there was a report that scott drew's family flew to lexington yesterday in the afternoon scott drew didn't go according to this report but his family did like his wife and kids went out there so maybe his wife and kids went to lexington they were like no thanks not for us no thanks yeah that might have been it what lexington's nicer than waco lexington's incredible i love lexington lexington is is a good place go to keeneland october and april waco is waco's fun if you like three strip malls and a biker shootout. And God.
Yeah. I like the
Chip Gaines, what is he, like a
house flipper guy? Yeah. He got involved.
Oh yeah, no, it's, Waco
is Chip and Joanna Gaines,
probably some of RG3's family
still lives in the area, and then you have
like two Ruby Tuesdays
I think. Okay.
And
one Twin Peaks. I'm getting there.
One, I think, no, you don't have a Tilted Kilt. You might have a Hooters and a Twin Peaks okay that works yeah so you can change it up yeah you can switch it up every now again the Twin Peaks has like 5,000 bullet holes switch back and forth yeah yeah all right anything else before we get to uh Kirkman and Ryan Whitney talking more masters Hank get excited everyone the Fyre Fest is a great one and you don't want to miss it it's a great fire fest set your alarm for the fire fest yeah don't sleep in for the fire fest right right yeah all right let's kick it to ourselves then we'll do an interview and then do not miss the fire fest all protein bars generally taste the same but not one bars One made protein bars are actually delicious with Reese's and Hershey's.
Only one Reese's peanut butter lover's protein bar is made with Reese's peanut butter. And only one Hershey's cookies and cream protein bars is made with Hershey's cookie bits while delivering 18 grams of protein and three grams of sugar.
One bars are the perfect protein bar to get you through your busy day, whether you need a quick pick me up between meetings or you need some fuel to power you through your next workout. One also has other delicious flavors like birthday cake, maple glazed donut and blueberry cobbler.
Find all one bars at a retailer near you or on amazon.com. Okay.
We now welcome on two of our very good friends. It is Kirk Minahan from the Kirk Minahan Show and the Unnamed Show and Ryan Whitney from Spittin' Chicklets and also the Unnamed Show.
We want to talk some masters. Both, Kirk is a historian of Augusta.
Whitney is just a... Junkie.
You golf more than you work. no I I don't anymore.
That is a fake, what is the word? Narrative. That narrative.
That's actually the right word. That narrative was true for a long time, and it's not.
So you don't golf a lot anymore? No, but it's actually not because of work. Oh, because kids.
Kids and coaching and another kid coming. So yeah, I used to play a ton of golf, and I don't anymore, and I don't even really want to talk about it.
You're very good at putt-. Kids.
Yeah. And coaching and another kid coming.
So, yeah. Like, I used to play a ton of golf and I don't anymore.
And I don't even really want to talk about it. So.
You're very good at putt-putt. Yeah.
Congratulations, by the way. I'm not taking a congratulations on winning.
I'm not taking anything. I'm not taking a congratulations.
I know what you guys are doing. Congratulations.
I find it odd that as long as we've been friends, all three of us, really, that you guys aren't rooting for me. I told you I'm rooting for you.
I'm rooting for you. I don'tulated you yesterday at 5 p.m who else would i be i was the first person i don't know but you're saying congratulations before the end of a tournament that's blatantly trying to walk trying to mush it trying to ruin it you think i'm right even chay over you no but there's a million others who do you think i would rather see win than my good friend ryan whitney frank the tank well's true, yeah.
He's right in the hunt. It's fair, it's fair.
In the hunt. He's ahead of me, actually, I think.
All right, so Masters. Well, first, I have a question for you, Kirk.
So we had this problem. You would have been very embarrassed for us.
They had the green jacket dinner. We were looking at the guys.
Champions dinner. Champions dinner, sorry.
It's okay, that's fine. If I say the name Wilford Brimley won a Masters, who would I be talking about?
I'd say Craig Stadler?
Yeah.
That was it.
So I knew you'd nail it.
I knew you'd nail it.
We literally stared at him for like 10 minutes.
Had to Google him everything.
He was in a bunch of movies, right?
Yeah.
We're like, who the hell is that?
Wilford Brimley or Craig Stadler?
No.
I know who Wilford Brimley is.
I didn't know who Craig is.
Craig Stadler, I think, was one of the guys in Tin Cup, I think.
He was.
Yeah, he was.
He was the guy who gave him the club to give a try when McAvoy then fired him. Where do we feel about that movie, though? Tin Cup? I love it.
I love it, too, but I've heard a lot of people say it's like the worst sports movie ever. I won't say the course stinks.
I love it. If you look at the course, it's awful.
Yeah. It's fine.
It's okay. But for just like a driving range, hustler, prode, and then when the guy hits it down the road to get all his money.
Don Johnson. Don Johnson, that's right.
Classic. Dave Sims.
Still going. Kirk, if you could rank your top three Masters of all time.
92 Fred Couples wins. That's your guy.
I love that. 98 was a great Masters.
Freddie lost to Amir, but that's where Nicholas finished sixth at 58. Tiger and Nicholas were on the leaderboard at the same time.
That's the beauty of the Masters. Time stands still.
Yep. Third, I mean, Tiger winning.
I'm not a huge Tiger fan, but Tiger winning in 19. And I'd say 86 was the first one I really remember with my dad, Nicholas, winning in 86.
Yeah. He was old then, too, wasn't he? 46? Yeah.
Wow. You love Freddie Couples.
Yeah, he's a friend of mine. Love him.
How did you start? I'm always curious about that, whether it's like a golfer or a NASCAR driver or just like an individual player in a sport. How do you like fall in love and you're like, I'm going to root for that guy? It was weird for me, too, because like Larry Bird, I was like six years old.
Freddie Couples, I was like 17. I just watched him on TV.
I thought his swing was great. It's beautiful.
I like his attitude. I like the whole thing.
He's cool. Yeah.
I was kind of boom boom. He was my guy.
It's hard to define. Do you like that he does the green ball? Yellow ball.
I play with that now. You do? Yeah.
Is he playing this year? He's playing right now, yeah. He's wounded, too.
He's. He's walking around.
He's 60. When your favorite player is 64 and everyone there is like watching the leaderboard and I'm on the phone watching Fred Couples at 64.
Yeah. It's two different things.
Is he still wearing those big khakis all the time, like the Tracy McGrady suit? No, he's like, yeah, and he's not wearing the Echoes anymore, though. Yeah, the skater shoes? Yeah.
He is cool. So how long do you think he's going to play for? Because if I were a Masters champion, I'd play until they made me.
They can't kick you out. Yeah, right.
But they do tell you to stop playing. They send you a letter.
Really? Yeah. The first hole there has a hill.
How much do they get us to clear that hill? To get it to the top? Yeah. Probably 300.
No. 90.
Yeah. Like 460, I think.
Some of these guys now, once you can't even get to the beginning of the hill, write you a letter Like yeah I didn't know they wrote a letter As far as like Arnold got the letter one year Really And what does the letter say You're done It's like In their way like Hey you're a great champion You've been You've meant so much To the community It's like when Your boy used to Knock on the door Of the hall of fame guy Yeah yeah He'd be like Thank you so much For what you've done To Yeah. And then like, you can't play here anymore.
The best story about that is Billy Casper won and then he kept playing and playing and playing and then one year he shot 105 and he didn't, 105, he didn't post the score. Yeah.
He's never turned in his card and that was it. Oh, that's great.
105. The problem with that is, is I will say like if you were a competitive tour player and you get paired with Billy Casper.
Right. And the guy, it's like when I was playing Frank, It's like when I was playing Frank the other day.
Yeah. Obviously, it took me a while to react to it, like about a day, but it does break you.
Yeah. That makes sense.
I think some of the guys, too, want to make sure they don't get the letter. I got to go over four.
Yeah, right, because that has to be a blow to your ego. Most guys, you don't really see that anymore.
No. Well, they all smash it now.
That's true. Now the distance, everyone hits it.
So even the old guys, they smash the ball. So do you think Freddie Couples will get the letter? No, I think he's too smart.
Next year, it'll be his 40th Masters. He'll be 65.
I think that's going to be it. That's going to be it? That's going to be one of the six or seven worst days.
And he's made the cut a bunch of times. Made the cut last year.
Yeah. Oldest guy ever to make the cut.
He was 63 years,
five months,
and like 14 or 15 days.
Jesus Christ, Kirk.
Especially because Tiger can't.
Tiger can't make the cut.
Tiger's not making
the cut this year.
You don't think so?
No.
I bet on him too.
I bet on him.
He might.
I mean,
the thing about the Masters is though,
if you're doing cuts
and miscut bet,
like the field's smaller
and there are a bunch of old guys and a bunch of amateurs. Right.
It is the easiest cut, oddly, to make in golf. Yeah.
I didn't realize that. Hardest tournament, easiest cut.
Yeah, not even the hardest tournament, I don't think. You don't think so? It's the best tournament.
Well, the U.S. Open, yeah.
Yeah, a tough U.S. Open.
Even the Open Championship is tougher, I think. PGA is tougher now, I think.
Yeah. The field's harder.
So this is the – I think it's the best tournament tournament But it's oddly the easiest Cut to make if you're a good pro So I think Tiger Honestly Down to my head I think Tiger 50-50 right? I think it's 50-50 If he finishes It's like when he plays golf He can't walk At least the weather's good though It seems like right now So Kirk and I Have been lucky enough to go there Have you guys been? No. I kind of like the fact that we'll probably never go.
I want to go. But you could go.
Yeah, I want to go. I was saying to Dave, I thought even if you don't like golf, you just get there.
It is insane, the hills and the undulation. Yeah.
On TV, you're like, oh, you get out there, you're like, the 10th hole, it's got to be 200 yards downhill. Like this.
That's crazy. 18's right next to it.
Same way. So the walk for Tiger, the guy can't walk on the range.
I know. Yeah.
We asked Max about that, and he was like, yeah, it's actually more daunting than you realize. Look at that.
That's probably even crazier in person. Yeah.
You guys got Max Holman to go on a podcast? Yeah. Crazy, right? No, you don't like him.
Are you turning?
The J.D. Salinger.
The problem is I do like him, but I think he has that Rory disease.
A lot of people have this.
He wants to be liked too much.
He's a very nice guy.
Yeah.
I'm glad he's friends with you guys, but I want him to be more of an asshole because
I think assholes win these things.
Yeah.
So are you, speaking of an asshole who we also like, and Whitney has actually turned
the corner on him.
Are you on Team Brooks now?
Well, I have to be. He took my side in the Ryder Cup.
Right. Oh, he did? Yeah, yeah.
That was a five. I was right.
I didn't know that. The Ryder Cup.
Not the Ryder Cup. The writer.
Writer Cup. The writer Cup.
Yes. Like O.J.
Simpson was a writer. Like, if I did it.
Right, exactly. Yeah, great book.
Yeah, he took my side on that. And he did something else.
He had my back on something else, too. I forget what it was.
I was with him on something. I also think you liked that he was still competing in the Ryder Cup.
Yes. When the U.S.
was very much out. And Max as well.
They both were like, no, we're going out with a fight. Yeah, he beat Ludwig.
Yeah, we're not going to let them just walk over us. He did lose nine A to him in the four ball.
But so I don't know. I keep doing this with Bryce and I was talking to Whitney about it.
I don't know what time is going to get fooled by Brooks playing bad and some live of it. Who cares? But he was terrible last week.
I think he was 78, 78 or something. Yeah, in the second two rounds.
Yeah, which should matter. But for him, I don't think it matters.
We'll find out today, but he's playing terrible, but he's always playing terrible before majors. Right, he's got such a crazy resume.
I think actually the worse that he plays going to the Masters, the better. And he might be right.
Because he's just thinking about the Masters that week. Yeah, he's probably hitting shots at Doral, like thinking of the 13th of the game.
Yeah, I'm going to try. You can pay $200 million to do it.
I saw a piece he did with golf.com or something and the guy's like basically on the range with them and he's like what are you thinking right now he's like nothing nothing yeah nothing and and and it's like golf's like it's just it's a fucked up sport the more you think the worse you are and the guy just steps up and smashes it and and loves being the bad guy that's like when i met him i was like oh this could be kind of awkward i gotta i gotta tell him like i've chirped you five million times right And he's like when I met him, I was like, oh, this could be kind of awkward. I got to tell him, like, I've chirped you five million times.
Right.
And he's like, I love that, dude.
I kind of love being the bad guy.
He doesn't give a shit.
Yeah.
He does.
Who do you like?
Who do I like?
Yeah, who are your favorite golfer? I like Zal Torus a lot.
This Ludwig guy from Sweden is like my new favorite golfer.
It's great, great, great.
He's just, he's like built in a lab.
Perfect swing, stallion, 6'3". Like, I think he's going to end up being a true superstar.
Oh, there's Freddie. I like him.
Freddie's right there. So, all right.
How's he looking? I got a question about this field. Scotty Scheffler is obviously the favorite by a large, large margin.
What is it about Scotty Scheffler that has him that much ahead of everyone his stats like pure golf stats t to green are as good as better than anybody since tiger in his prime i'm talking i'm talking i think matt matching him it's right i'm talking like 2000 tiger prime right he's and if he putts well he's gonna be in the top two or three he may not win but you know if he doesn't put well he's in the finish like eighth not not to disagree i think it's if he putts average right right that's what i mean for hit yeah yeah yeah so it's just putter is the only thing that stops yeah and then rory which is kind of crazy to me this is what kirk's saying liking an asshole like in golf i would never give anyone a tip or a pointer right and rory was on the broadcast disgusting and he's like i think scotty should go to a mallet putter. Yeah, yeah.
And he did. And now he's putting good.
It's like, Rory. Imagine Michael Jordan saying that.
Yeah. No, that's crazy.
It's crazy. Now, it's a game of honor, I guess.
But Michael Jordan would buy Scotty Scheffler a new blade putter. Right.
And be like, here's his awesome. Yeah, right.
This will fix everything. Yeah.
There are weeks where Scheffler is first tee the green, first around the greens, 118th and putting and he's that so he's that good that even with that bad of putting he's still you know he'll put bad and finish like horrible and finish eighth right crazy what's up with his footwork at some point you would think that somebody would beat that out of i think that i think i tried to yeah maybe and he and he's probably like and then i bet you there was a coach it's like hey don't fuck with it I think the better question is why isn't somebody else doing it yeah like he does it and he thinks someone will cop at anybody but he does it different every stroke it's not like he repeats the exact same thing he finds a new way to fuck his feet up it's like shooting McGavin trying the happy Gilmore in the woods guys have been on the range trying it. They just don't want to ever have it be on camera.
So, Kirk, because you obviously are a historian.
I like him a lot.
He's not playing well this year.
I like him a lot.
He was awesome at the end of last year.
So you're a historian of the Masters.
How many times do you think a guy has to play it
until they get that advantage of, I know this course?
Because even when we're talking about Tiger missing the cut
or making the cut, you have to think Tiger has a couple strokes
I'm going to go ahead and get started. they get that advantage of I know this course.
Even when we're talking about Tiger missing the cut or making the cut,
you have to think Tiger has a couple strokes
just on familiar.
I'd say when you get to year 10.
Oh, it takes that long.
I think the last first-time winner is Fuzzy Zeller.
Other than the first year of it.
He's the only one.
He beat Ed Sneed in the playoff, I think.
He's the only one.
Then he had a tough quote tonight. Social media today.
He's the only one. He beat Ed Sneed in the playoff, I think.
Yeah, he's the only one. And then he had a tough quote tonight.
Yeah. Still alive, though.
Social media today, that would be a moment. Yeah.
He's selling vodka now. Is he? Oh, yeah.
Don't put me in that boat. Don't put me in that boat.
That's got a lot in common. Don't put me in that boat.
Yeah, so you think 10th time, it's that like there's that many quirks and weird things? Yeah, it's just yes yeah to become like a established veteran yeah yeah everyone says it's all about where you where to miss miss and like you're just like if you're missing one spot you're fine you miss another spot you're dead and not knowing the course it's just like i don't know where to miss yeah what's the next change they're doing at augusta because they they tiger proofed it they made it long they still but they're still doing trees are they do they have any plans to like redo different holes they pushed two back this year um they pushed 13 back last year way back and so there's i mean there's they just buy so if you've never been there so if you drive up to august like the street behind it is like you get you see augustine you think oh my god behind it there's like applebee's chili's strip clubs it sounds awesome it's a shithole like a route one in Saugus and then all of a sudden you take it right near Augusta so they're buying land like they're trying to buy the eventually it's going to be like just the whole area yeah it'll be the master's exit it'll just be all I think yeah they said they'll have an exit at some point yeah they're talking about underground parking there now oh yeah I saw that yeah so I think they're thinking more like the course is what 76 50 I I how much more they can do right now if i said yesterday the chairman he does like a yearly fred ridley yeah like i want your opinion about some with him in a second but go ahead the tuesday press conference where he just like addresses everything and and he and he said yeah we'll never make it longer than 8 000 so it's like oh my god like 8 000 like that's just thinking of that That's like the whole distance debate in golf yeah yeah which is i i mean i don't really understand it i get like the equipment the balls now is just just great well what they ended up doing i like your opinion in pft european they ended up there was discussion of making the pro game different than than us where we are everything's the same for us but the pros hit a different ball that goes shorter they ended up doing it where they didn't change where it's all the same and they're just making everyone hit it shorter in like five years so it kind of sucks for oh so everyone's gonna have shorter balls yeah so for distance being an issue with 99.9 percent of golfers it's like kind of sucks that now we're hitting it shorter wait so is that gonna be a thing where 120 kirk's hybrid from is that going to be a thing where... It's going to be a 120.
Kirk's hitting hybrid from... Is that going to be a thing where people hoard balls from right now? That's what people have brought up, but I think they go bad.
That's going to be premium, though. They're going to freeze and they'll figure something out.
Yeah, that's actually... I might have to buy...
Sounds like you're just selling them on eBay. Beginning of COVID.
Yeah. So Fred Ridley, the chairman of Augusta, they have the champions dinner like you were talking about earlier.
So it's all champions in the picture. You see the picture every year? Yep.
But Fred Ridley's in the picture. Oh, that's bullshit.
That's stolen valor. It sounds like the Fred Ridley dinner.
All of them are. Like every chairman's been in that.
I know, but I don't like that. I don't like that either.
He's not a champion. No, it what's worse is he was like a failed kind of player.
At least he played in it, though. But if you want that picture, take that picture and then take another picture without you in it and that's the one they send out.
If you look at the picture, he's dead in the middle. Oh, that's so, yeah.
Nicholas is like on the side. It becomes a Fred Ridley dinner.
It's not the champion's dinner. Yeah, like, oh, yeah.
That's his favorite day of the year. You're like, Jack Nicklaus was in the seat.
He's like, get up. Yeah, yeah.
Tiger, get the fuck, get out.
Hey, it's Rhea from Chicks in the Office.
It's officially mini skort season
and Abercrombie has the ones to go out in.
Their Scarlet Mini is a classic.
It's one of those skirts that fits the outfit vibe
for any plans.
And I'm excited to style their new Sienna skort.
It's a little more flirty
and it's perfect for a date night. Make plans to go out in Abercrombie, shop their newest arrivals in-store and online.
What would you guys do for your Champions Dinner if you set the menu? I think I'd be a big-time disappointment. Me too.
It would be like if you went to a nice steakhouse. Oh, medium? That's what they usually are.
If you look at them, everybody's got a ribeye as one of the main courses faldo was killing bubba watson earlier this week because bubba watson's champions dinner was he said chuckie grilled chicken breast mac and cheese and confetti cake for i'm like that sounds great yeah confetti cake is awesome rom's menu i'm like i don't i'm i'm picky i wouldn't eat any of it confetti cake is also one of those cakes that you never go out and try to find, but when you're at a party or something that's there, you're like, this is awesome. I should eat it more.
This birthday cake in general should be on more menus. Absolutely.
Celebrate just for a birthday. Are you getting birthday cake ice cream flavors? Oh, yeah.
All the time. Birthday cake ice cream is very good.
Yes. Oh, my God.
Bryson might just make a whole one here. Bryson's going to be six under here.
All right. So who besides Scotty, who else do you guys think can win it this week? I know that we're going to be taping this during the first round.
Rom, I know he's already two under, but he's probably going to be in the mix. We were just saying before the show began, I've never been the biggest Bryson fan.
He's just so weird and bizarre. But if he was in the hunt, just the drama it would create.
I'd like that.
He's a bizarre human.
We've kind of not had him for the last couple of years.
Now we'll be back on our lives for a couple of days.
And he gained like 50 pounds of muscle, but now he's lost some of it.
Lost it all, yeah.
Because he's too jacked.
He's just a weird cat.
And he has one of my favorite qualities that he's stupid, but he thinks he's smart.
Yes.
That's my favorite.
He feels like that too.
He thinks he's so smart.
He's got all this equipment that he hands with. He talks down.
If it's like 50 000 words of nothing yeah remember that video where it was like it was in his like five buddies his five rowdy boys that just worked down in his garage right oh yeah they were yelling as they were benching well bryson made a famous quote that he considered a par 68 for himself yeah and then that just bit him right in the yeah i was on with foreplay a couple days ago we were talking about that that year he said it he was paired in the final round with longer who was 62 at the time he dusted he was out driving longer by 150 yards and holes longer beat him that's crazy 77 yeah so i mean i like shawfly he's off to a terrible start and i like matsuyama i don he is right now. But, I mean, there's, what do you think? 12, 14 guys that can win? Yeah.
Maybe not even. Yeah.
I mean, the problem, like, you know, the Scheffler of it all just looms. And he's such a bore.
I understand he's a wonderful player, but he's so boring. Yeah, he doesn't really have much personal knowledge.
My thing is with, so we had Rahm, then we had Scheffler, and who had it in 2021? Who won the Masters in 2021? Rahm. Is that Matsuyama? Matsuyama.
Johnson in the 20th. And then Johnson.
So four in a row, bad Sundays. They've just been – I think Matsuyama had also kind of a little bit of a runaway.
I don't care who wins, just back nine Sunday, give me three guys. Yeah.
I just want a good Sunday. Matsuyama and Shoffley were kind of – but it was not great because he put in the water on 16, Shoffley, remember? So that was decently close.
But it wasn't great. That was decent.
I just want, if you could get like three or four guys in the mix, back nine, that's all you want. And Rory should be around.
Yeah. You want to see a good leaderboard.
You want to wake up Sunday morning and be like, look at this fucking leaderboard. But even in this tournament, if it was not a great big name, the back nine, if there was four guys, and it's just the drama.
It's the second nine. Sorry.
Second nine. So without the drama, when Tiger was winning, and he was winning by as much, what was the most he's won the Masters by? Well, in 97, he won by 15, right? No.
What did he win in 97 by? 12. Yeah, 12.
But that was still incredible because you're like, this guy. You've never seen that.
Yeah, right. And would you say he's the best golfer of all time yeah i think yes okay i mean it's hard with a second yeah i'm thinking nick i mean nicholas still has more mr nicholas those more majors but mr what's crazy we were talking about before like nicholas might be different he's so old now but like if tiger woods wants to play the gusta like he just can't roll in there and play yeah like what so some winners are given a membership.
Jack was. And then Patrick Reed isn't getting a membership.
No, no. But I think Tiger's making a call.
I think Tiger's making a call. Yeah.
Yeah, but I'm still... Oh, just the fact that he couldn't...
He had to play with Ridley, actually, the other day. Two greats.
Ridley's like, Tiger, I'm away. Do you guys think you'll ever get to play? No.
We were talking about that before. It's 0.0.
I would never say 0.0, but I'd say like 0.2. All right, Whitney, you're hobnobbing with Michael Jordan.
I played golf with Michael Jordan. He spoke two words to me.
He called me a bitch when he beat me. I'm not playing golf.
You're like his best friend then. Yeah, we're boys.
Also, there's like no members. Yeah.
How many members are there? You're friends with Condoleezza, aren't you? Yeah, well, yeah. Condi.
We interviewed her for the Browns job. It didn't work out.
It's all the craziest tweet of all time. Ever.
It's the best. Did that happen? Who sent the tweet? What is it? Schefter.
Schefter sent it out. And we're pretty sure what happened was somebody in the Browns, they were having a new ownership takeover.
I think somebody in the front office told someone they didn't really trust, we're going to bring in Condoleezza Rice. It's serious.
We're turning over every rock that we can find. For the head coaching job.
For the head coaching job. You don't remember that? Oh, I didn't even know that.
Somebody in the front office that wasn't supposed to be talking out of the corner of their mouth told that to Schefter as like a smoke out thing. Big Cat, that's like how we were saying.
But shouldn't he have known that though? Yeah, also Schefter probably should have been like, you're getting smoked out bro. Big Cat, that's how you said you want to find the rat in this office.
Yeah. Oh, it's a great move.
Tell like a couple different people Just little things. We're hiring Condoleezza Rice at Barstool Sports.
Yeah. Yeah.
She'd be good in this show. We'll do a pre-infant strike on Bleacher Report.
There's 300 members of Augusta. 300 members.
That's actually more than I thought. But there's also how many guys.
Yeah, like Warren Buffett's a member. How many times has he played it? I bet you he's gone 10 years without even going.
Right. What's interesting that Chaps didn't know, maybe a lot of people don't know, is after the tournament ends, the course is closed.
Done for the year. The year? It's a winter course.
It's open September, October-ish to now, and then it's shut. I had no idea.
I didn't know that either. Which, by the way, you can get some lousy weather there.
Oh, yeah. November, December? So no one can play on Augusta in the summer? No one.
They close it for this? That's crazy. Because they're always doing stuff.
Yeah. Wow.
Well, the other best thing about the Masters for the media members is Monday, four people. Four people, yeah.
Every person that's given a media credential is put into a lottery and then four people are picked and they play it Monday. Well, not every media person.
This year, even they said we're not going to let Rapaport win. Yeah, I was going to say, how mad would you be if Rapaport got it? it oh that'd be that'd be with that haircut I don't need to see that Twitter with all the cuts the videos and I will say for it I will say I'm still not emotionally over dude perfect being involved yeah me yeah I think they regret that the fact that it was a combination of dude perfect and Bryson to me oh that that it felt personal they were hitting like yeah yeah I did like baseball baseball bats out there.
Yeah. Like swinging over the 12.
Oh, my God. Is that the number one course you guys would want to play? Yes.
If you could play any course in the world? I think that's everything. I don't even think it was.
I don't even think the number two would be. Yeah.
What about this? What about like, I don't know, maybe talk to chaps, organize a military operation. You go, you parachute into Augusta at night and just sneak onto the course.
I think you probably get like three holes done before they catch you right true i don't i don't think i think there's i think there's guards 24 7 around probably have all the fairways sitting in the trees they're crazy like i was saying my brother and i went the first year we went we did i got them through stub hub and they had this little stub hub place like a temporary one set up next to this public's like a half from the course. So people were sneaking in to get them and then go back after a tournament night.
The next year, Augusta bought that whole lot and just bulldozed it out. Fucking insane.
Because, I mean, they have a one-year deal every year with CBS too. Every year, a one-year deal.
So CBS could just lose it at any moment. I think it's only IBM.
Yep. What's the umbrella one? Mercedes.
There's one other. Rolex probably? Yeah, something like that.
I don't even know if that's one. Even the Martha Burke year, that crazy year 20 years ago, the start of the internet, CBS is like, because it's about the female membership there, CBS is like, we're the one comfortable with this.
The master said, no problem. We're going to pull it.
We're just going to put it on our website. CBS is like, no, it's okay.
We'll figure it out. They have all they have all the power they don't care after going though you you could say if if whoever's running the masters like the entire tournament if they just like took over the government we'd probably be buzzing as a i said if they took covet would last four days like they're like they're done they're perfect at what they do yeah chick-fil-a disney and the masters yeah run it perfect that tree disappearing in of minutes.
I was there that day. Did you see the tree? No.
The storms were awful. And then when that happened, they shut it down.
We all had to leave. They got a break.
But then all of a sudden, the next day, it was gone. I thought they called MBS from Saudi Arabia.
Came out there with the hacksaws. Took care of the tree real quick.
Got the fuck out. Actually, one of the hardest I've ever laughed at another Barstool podcast was the Spittin' Chicklets podcast when you guys had JT on.
Oh, Biz. And Biz, when JT was talking about how he's never seen a squirrel at Augusta.
Never seen one. And then Biz just goes, they kill all the squirrels? Like the childlike wonderment in his voice when he said that.
He wasn't joking at all. No, he wasn't joking.
And I actually wouldn't be shocked if they do. It if they do.
Yeah. And then he also, like Justin Thomas was mentioning that he's very close with Freddie Couples,
who's an assistant captain on all the Ryder Cup teams and business.
He loves Rub and Tugs, I heard.
It's not true.
And he's like, oh, man, I don't think so.
He's like, no, dude, I heard that.
I heard that.
JT, you could tell he was like, what podcast is this?
Fake news.
Fake news.
All right, so favorite hole.
I said just came out 15.
I don probably agree. It's a par five where they hit it over the water if they're going for it.
And water short, water real long. It's like the make or break hole.
It's like a shelf. And if you lay up, it's still a pain in the ass.
It was the hole that actually Sergio, he hit the pin the year he won against Justin Rose and made Eagle. And Nicholas Eagled it that year he won, too.
Yeah, 12 is a great hole, too.
I don't love 16 anyway.
16 is too easy now.
16 is the one the Tiger shot, right?
The hole in the way.
Yeah, yeah.
That is probably the coolest shot, though.
Yeah, and it's also Vern Lundquist just makes it.
I actually was told that Vern's getting old.
I think this is his last year in 16 Tower.
You think he's getting old?
Yeah.
How old is he?
He'll see be old. I heard from a reliable source that Vern Lundquist I love the idea of Whitney.
Someone whispers to him. He's my age.
He's getting up there. Someone whispers to Whit.
Oh yeah, Vern's getting old. What? No shit.
That's a hell of a scoop. Hubie Brown said he'd be 50 soon, right? But apparently, he fell asleep like twice in the tower.
They're like, Vern, Vern, last year. Nicklin, wake him up.
Yeah, Vern's struggling a little bit. We need a Vern cam because if I was just watching Vern slowly nod off in the tower, oh my god.
That's one of the featured groups. ASMR for my eyes.
I think the yak fart channel. Featured Vern.
The other thing with the Masters announcers are, even on CBS, they're different than the CBS. Like, Vern doesn't do golf for CBS.
Right. The Masters, with Gary McCord famously, they kicked him out.
Because Gary McCord said in 90, the last Masters he did was in 94, maybe? I don't know the year, but I know what he said. He said the greens look bikini waxed.
Whoa. And the Masters said to CBS, this guy is never going to be on here again he's never on again the other announcer who got kicked off too before jack whitaker he called yeah yep he didn't use the word patrons they're patrons though yeah he called the patrons he said there's a mob heading down to the green augusta boom done that's crazy the bricks actually i know i've done this on kirk's show but um larry david played augusta and well he's probably played it a bunch of times and um he he's friends uh he sent this
text to who's the mike lupica yeah okay so sports reporter it ended up getting it ended up it ended
up yeah legendary just like curmudgeon biggest assholes ever met yeah it ended up getting sent
around the text larry describing his round here's the way to see um it's it's a pretty funny like knowing larry i don't know him but his his show so he right so you don't see what he was asked but this is his response not quite 96 have you played it wasn't really that hard only lost one ball fairways are wide but i hated the waspy privilege exclusivity of it all. Members in their green jackets.
The talking hardly gets above a whisper in the dining room. Didn't hear one laugh.
It's like a fascist country in the dictator's Billy Payne, who's actually referred to as Mr. Chairman.
That's what he's called. Like he's fucking Mao.
And then the second text is better keep that. He must have said to with.
Oh, no, he's never going back. I don't think he gives a shit.
No, definitely not. Definitely not.
Oh, man. All right.
So who else? Who else are we looking for? This maybe long shots. I know that we're again, we're recording this.
I mentioned that. I know what he's at now.
I mentioned earlier. The thing I do with the rigs.
Corey Connors always plays well here. And I saw a tweet that was basically like, these are the only guys that could win it based on their analytics coming into the tournament.
He was one of the guys. He sounded like Steven Shea.
I mean, listen, when you're scrolling Twitter and you see someone's like, oh, this is a formula, you don't fucking screenshot it? Here we go. I mean, it literally was just like these guys.
It was Corey Connors. It was obviously, it was obviously Scheffler.
Hold on, I'm going to find out. Matsuyama was probably on there.
You can tell me how stupid it is. Is Ludwig on there or no? Based on who's on it.
Go ahead. All right.
It is Scotty Scheffler, Matsuyama, Shoffley, Lowry, Corey Connors, Siwoo Kim, Rory McIlroy, Cameron Young, Ludwig. Cameron Young I like a lot too.
Those are the nine guys that – Said Ludwig, yeah. It's tee to green and four events leading into Masters.
It's just ball strikers. Yeah.
Corey Connors, I got to play with him twice down in Florida once, and it's just one of those things. I think playing with all these guys is the same, but he's just every single fucking shot.
It's his home course, too. It was 65-65 two days in a row.
He doesn't miss the center of the clubface and then you're just like, wow, this guy doesn't even win that often. Basically never.
That's the thing about Dave made this huge bet with Scheffler this week. That's what we were talking to him earlier.
It's not the same as betting to win like right i mean scheffler statistically is going to lose right he's won what twice in the
last year yeah i whatever three times last 30 events so it's like you know and you gotta beat
all like if some one guy has a great end of his life bad weather one round or so hard i mean
that is crazy looking back too because scheffler i think was the best or the lowest odds since
tiger in his heyday correct and there was times when Tiger was like plus 125 to win the Masters. I think there was often tournaments where it was Tiger and then the feet.
Yeah, right. Right.
And it was a smart bet to take Tiger. I think it was like minus 110.
Right. In a golf tournament with 151, right? Yeah, and he's winning.
It's absurd. I don't think we'll ever see a golfer that good again.
Because what Tiger did was he got- Yeah, me neither. It was such like an exclusive sport when Tiger started playing, where most people didn't grow up playing golf.
And then Tiger started, and then a lot of kids across America started taking it up. Now we're watching the products of the Tiger Woods youth generation.
And it's just grown, so the talent pool is too big now. He was also the perfect marriage of everything.
He drove it longest he had the best short game he's the best putter and he's mentally like yeah he was a psycho the killer instinct yeah his dad just beat it into him yeah think about him if he hadn't gone and tried to be a navy seal right where he like broke his leg it's like and he changes swing three times yeah um but when when i was growing when i was growing up i golf. It wasn't like cool to play golf.
I didn't either. Now it's cool to play golf.
Yeah. I didn't until I was a senior in high school.
It was the first time I ever played. And now loving golf as much as I do, I wish I played because playing growing up, then you groove the swing.
You can always see a guy who played when they were getting it. And you're like, you know how to do it and I will never learn how to do it.
And they're usually an asshole. Yeah.
I mean, we're usually. Yeah.
Like a rich kid. Yeah.
I had this business idea last week when we were at the Final Four. It's like an amusement park, but it's for sports, or like a water park, but it's for sports.
The main attraction of this amusement park would be we'd pour millions of dollars into this one hole and perfectly replicate, like, number 16 at at Augusta how much do you think people would pay to play like a perfect replica of that hole just just that hole just that hole is it put as part of it I'm sure the one who tried to make a there's a course that actually has um I think they have famous holes I heard about this it's in Texas yeah they have like a famous hole from every it's where the PGA of America... Where the hell is it now? I don't even...
I know who you're talking about. Oh, Frisco? I think it's right outside Houston, but the thing is, if you're in Texas, you can't make a real replica of a Link-style St.
Andrew's hole. And a snake bites you.
You're like, I'm not in Scotland anymore. Yeah, it's 200 degrees.
You could honestly buy a place on that street by Augusta and replicate that. That's what I want to do.
During Masters week, people would just flow in and play. Yeah.
I think if you go to buy anything, they're just going to buy it. That's a good point, too.
But then you'll make money off it. Are you allowed to trademark a hole? Do they have a patent on their holes? If anyone does, it's them.
I don't know. You see courses try and do it, though.
You'll see that somewhere. The other thing about Augusta that I forgot to bring up Going there So they have this The merch tent It's the size of this office And then you go up there And then just after You can send it all home Ship it home And then you get back And it's already your house That's amazing So you don't have to carry it around And obviously And everyone knows about the food obviously You go You buy four lunches And it's $11 Is it good though? Yeah Yeah.
Yeah, it's fine. Barbecue pork sandwich is good.
You're not like, holy fuck, but for two bucks. I wouldn't do that thing they're doing where you order it to your house though.
Have you seen that? That's weird. No, that's stupid.
I actually hate pimento. So do I.
Yeah, I think it's overrated. The chicken sandwich is good? Yeah, it's good.
What a place to catch a buzz though. I mean, they have 10 beers for 30 bucks, dude.
That's crazy. Have a cigar, walk around, take it on.
No phone. Yeah.
The no phone would freak me out. The first four minutes, you're just like, where's my phone? And then by the end, you're like, I don't want to go get it.
Yeah, I don't want to go back to reality. All right.
So final answer of who I know, again, first round, but who'd you bet Willie Z? I bet Willie Z and then last night I bet Matsuyama I took big bets top 10 both of them and then probably a quarter of that both of them to win. Do you guys like anything like on a Saturday when you're looking at the board being like alright this is what I need to see to maybe take a long shot like someone coming back How many shots out? Yeah like or someone coming back from like yeah like they're in 10th place and you're like make a run.
Yeah, yeah. If you find the right guy and he's playing well and also you have to look who's leading.
Like if it's sort of a guy you know. It's Scheffler.
It's like it's over. Yeah, right.
But if it's, you know, Ryan Fox, right? Or Danny Willett just shot 68 today. Danny Willett is not winning the Masters.
Right. You look at it like that.
I mean, there's no chance. I like betting daily matchups.
Yeah. Right? One-on-one and then you just fall fall on both.
What sucks is this tournament, well, at least with DraftKings right now, their daily matchups, they're not in the same group. Oh.
So you like it when they're actually on the same hole? I like betting just the score daily. Like I have Scottie today under 71 and a half.
70.5 or something. Or I think he was 70 and a half.
What? He was either 71 and a half because I think people were scared of the win. The win was big though.
Scotty Scheffler's minus 70 and a half today? Yeah, I'll tell you what it was. But then you can just buy the hole bets too when you're just stopping by your TV.
Yeah, is he going to hit the fairway? 11 or 30 on this hole? That's how you get smoked off. Yes, yes.
I've never won one, but I love it. He ain't missing this fairway.
Yeah. I think they missed the win today, though.
You're right, because these guys are tearing it up. Yeah.
Oh, I didn't bet Scotty. Never mind.
He was probably 70 and a half. I bet Willie Z under 72 and a half.
Really? That was 72 and a half? I think people were scared of the win. Hank, you're a golfer.
What do you think about Augusta? Love to go. It looks great.
You'd love to. What'd you do last night? Oh, I went out.
I had a couple drinks. Nice.
Yeah? Yeah? How many? How'd it go? I had a lot. My phone died.
Oh, that sucks. Turned it on the charger.
Went to sleep. Didn't turn on.
Alarm didn't go off. What time did you wake up? 11.
I would stab someone to be able to sleep till 11. But it's not like we had work.
I'm pretty anxious right now I was supposed to be here I missed a recording You'll hear us on Firefest in a second I'm alive We were scared for a second We had an RA like that once He just didn't show up to a pod. Yeah.
I don't know. Is this it? What do you guys have done? How serious is the show if Hank dies, like that first episode? I'd be silent.
Very serious. We'd be in time.
We'd do the Fox injury music for football. You wouldn't cry, though? Yeah, I'd cry.
Yeah, you gotta cry. So Hank doesn't know this part.
I called his building because I was like, it was 1130 in the morning. It's like a gun girl.
I'm actually a little nervous. The difference is like with Hank, our first thought was he probably just slept in, but what if it's serious? With you and RA, he's not there.
You're like dead. Yeah.
So I called this building and I said, I was like, we work with Henry Lockwood. We think he slept in and his phone's not charged.
Can someone go knock on his door? And the woman was like, sure, no problem. We'll do that.
And 25 minutes go by and I'm trying to call Hank because I'm like, someone went knocked on his door. Are you on hold the entire? No, no, no.
I hung up. But I was like, someone's going to knock on his door.
He's going to plug in his phone. He'll call me right away.
25 minutes go by. He doesn't call me.
I call back to the front desk. I'm like, hey, I just called.
And she's like, oh, yes, of course. We got in contact with Ron Lockman's wife and she's trying to find her husband.
I was like, no. I was like, no.
Lockwood. Henry Lockwood.
So this woman is like running around. Hey, Ron's like, I didn't do anything, honey.
Hey, find Ron? Yeah. So that was bad.
That was bad. I didn't do anything.
Yeah, but then he's alive. He's good.
You feel good, Hank? No, I feel good Hank? no I feel terrible we'll talk about it if I fell asleep if I fell asleep at 830 in the morning I don't think I could sleep till 11 at this point in my life no oh yeah I set my alarm today for 730 it's bullshit I freak out never happening yeah I freak out if I sleep past 745 I freak out if I I woke up and fell rested this is very bad. I had no worse.
Sleeping through something or just being late in general is the worst feeling in the world. I missed one bus once in the NHL and just like.
You did? Yeah. It was to practice and I got an Uber and wasn't that late, but.
You get reamed out? Oh, yeah. Reamed.
Our strategy is just stare at Hank and let him do all the guilt tripping on himself. The good thing is you know he genuinely feels better.
Oh, yeah. Because he's hungover.
Yeah. There's nothing worse.
I don't miss that. Yeah.
We did early part of my take days when we were doing, before we moved to New York and we were doing it all on Skype, there was one night on a Sunday night late that Hank fell asleep. We had to call his house and I had to talk to his mom and be like, can you wake him up? No Bowl is known for their best-in-class, award-winning footwear with options across training and lifestyle.
No Bowl has options for everyone, exclusively for Barstool listeners. No Bowl is offering 30% off your order.
Visit www.nobullproject.com slash barstool for 30% off your entire order. That's www.nobullproject.com backslash barstool for 30% off.
So what is the bet that you guys had for the mini golf? Yeah, I won 500 bucks. Congratulations again.
I forgot about that. Yeah.
We had a bet where he guaranteed victory, and I said, you're not winning. I said, if you win, I'll give you five grand.
It's not really how you framed it, but yeah. What were the terms of bet? I should be fair.
I don't remember exactly how it came about. That's fine.
Go ahead. So it was 10 to 1 odds.
So if I won, he was going to be 5,000. If anybody else won, I was going to give him 500.
Okay. So you were that confident? Yeah.
And then looking back, I was like, that was the worst bet. Because I said, would you have taken 2,000? He's like, yes.
Yeah. So I was on the hook.
And even before his meltdown, I was just worried about him. It would be like if Tiger's coming.
It's like the champ's coming. I don't know what to do.
Yeah, very strange moment for me. Very strange.
What was going through the old head? I mean, on the unnamed show. 28 officially, by the way.
What's that? You got a 28 on that hole? 28. Oh, no.
I mean, do I have to play this last round? Like 24 over? I know others. So you're with Frank.
Yeah, you and Frank. I know others have bailed on this tournament, but keep in mind,
despite this, I'm going to play.
Hey, this guy, Jason Day, actually, he's always playing well here.
I don't know how he's playing coming in.
He's been okay.
It's just like a portrait of mental illness, honestly.
I wasn't mad that Whitney was ahead.
I was mad at how I played the hole before. Yeah.
Missed the short one. When I hit that shot, then the effect, when I went over at seven, my mind literally just went blank.
Like, I just went red. And then that was, I don't really remember much about it.
Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, you did have the perfect. I could have killed somebody, honestly.
I could have killed Ron Lockman. I have no idea.
You had the perfect reply because people came up to you and were just happened you're like mental illness is funny to you yeah i'm here to be a clown fine but yeah it's you know i battled every day but uh but yeah that was not not a good moment like and it's just stupid now i gotta play in the first group with these losers and it's called to respect and it's just gonna be like it's just gonna be like you know it feels beneath me but it's my own fault like put myself, that's why I'll yell at Hank at some point, but it's not Hank's fault. I did something stupid.
They're following the rules. I don't have a problem with that.
So what's going to happen for the next one? Because we're going to do this every year now, right? Well, if I'm invited. No, you're invited.
I presume I will make sure you're invited. There's a former champion that I would think I have.
Yes. The big thing now, though, I will say is Jeff D.
Lowe won in the Hamptons. I won last year.
If Whitney wins, he does get to choose the champion's dinner the night before. Medium steak.
Medium steak. I had your back.
I don't like medium steak, but people should get to enjoy however they want. And if you order your steak medium at Very Nice Steak Houses, it ends up coming out medium.
That's why medium rare plus. Yeah, that's true.
That's what I do. Next year, we were talking about this this morning.
Next year should be. It needs to be a legit quarter.
So next year, I think we're going to do. Limited feel maybe.
Yeah, it's going to be a smaller feel, no cut. And we're going to also change.
I would like to change the obstacles. The holes.
During after round one. So that way people can't figure it out.
I think the biggest thing is getting break. And I don't know how hard that hard that is but when it's just dead flat every time mini golf is all about hitting up the hill it comes back to your foot like if it's just flat yeah i don't think the excitement will ever be that nuts well that was but they did a good job though it's a good they did a good yeah it was all it's awesome i'm just i'm not like chirping it i'm just saying to make it like harder and maybe i know taylor made gave us these awesome putters, but it's more about the plastic mini golf putter.
Yeah. How do you feel about the Mickey Mouse stuff like the windmills? I think that's mini golf.
You should have one or two in there just because mini golf. Like something that's totally random.
Where you can make a 10. Yeah.
Or a 1. Yeah.
Like even the best player could absolutely fuck up, and it's not their fault. Yep.
That's mini golf. Yeah.
All right, boys. Thank you so much.
Bryson's minus seven right now. He's about to finish his round.
Holy shit. Yeah.
Yeah, you know what? Him and the Hunt's great. Yeah, it is.
I agree with you. His quotes, just how he goes about things, it'll be a story.
His first answer to his press is so dumb. His champion's dinner would suck ass, too.
It is true. It would be like molecular shit.
shit oh it would be like whey protein yeah
astronauts eat yeah yeah just that ice rye is good though there is nothing funnier though than like
someone who has a lot of money a lot of time and is very dumb and then convinces themselves that
there's the smartest person out of my favorite youtube channel yeah right yes and they just
and they just consume all kinds of weird shit and then all of a sudden they're an expert
so that is that is bryson i i we hated on bryson when the brooks bryson rivalry was going
the And they just consume all kinds of weird shit, and then all of a sudden they're an expert. So that is Bryson.
We hated on Bryson when the Brooks-Bryson rivalry was going, but they've squashed the beef, so we have to squash the beef. I think that's only fair.
But it's still in the back of my head. I'm ready to go.
No, trust him. Yeah, I'm all over it.
But he is good for storylines. All right.
Thank you both. Appreciate it.
Oh, wait. Stanley Cup pick.
We're going to have you back on in a couple weeks. So I'm all Oilers.
But if anyone else is going to get it done, I think Dallas is. Okay.
The only thing I've told everyone in this office, if you want to make a future bet Dallas, if they play Vegas in the first round, I don't hold responsibility on it. Because even if they beat them, they're going to kick the shit out of each other.
But Dallas is the best team in the league okay all right you have anything to say about the NBA me no oh Ryan I saw it yeah Ryan likes Ryan yeah I haven't I haven't done it but I I saw a guy missed a game the other night for a headache that's headache stink though that's fucking you you would have liked uh DeAndre Ay, who was on the Suns, top draft pick, got traded to the Blazers this past year, and like two months into the season, he complained because he was sleeping on an air mattress, and he's made like hundreds of million dollars, and he was just like, yeah, I'm sleeping on an air mattress. People don't know what I'm going through.
He just didn't buy a real mattress. He also missed the game because the roads were too icy.
That's the worst. That's fair.
I saw that. And once again, I like the game of basketball.
I cannot stand the NBA. I'm old.
I'm old. You know, I loved it growing up, but it does bother me that they just, the other night I was flipping around, they shot 12 straight possessions, they shot a three.
I know, I know. No, I agree with you.
But I'm just like, this is not what I like. It's just what I like.
But I get it's, Will you be more into the NBA Finals than the Cup Finals?
In terms of entertainment. Depends on who's in it.
Probably, because it's most likely going to be Nuggets-Celtics.
Yeah, that's a good matchup.
What if it was like Oilers-Leafs?
Yeah, and those were both.
I love all sports.
So, yeah, I would.
If Canada had a chance to win the Stanley Cup,
that would be an awesome story.
But if you get like Panthers-Gold Knights again, I'm going to – although the NBA Finals last year sucked. I mean, the Nuggets were just so much better than the Heat.
It wasn't – but I love whenever there's a good – you know, when a Finals goes to 6-7 and you're like – Do you agree that the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs is the best? Yes. Chaos.
Yes, because it's kind of like the first round of March Madness where it's like you don't know what's going to happen. And it's just two weeks of four games.
Yeah, no, the first round of the NBA playoffs sucked the best yes chaos yes because it's it's it's kind of like the first round of march madness where it's like you don't know what's going to happen and it's just two weeks of four games yeah no the first round the nba playoffs suck because you just know you can just pencil in the the one twos and threes and then you know maybe you'll get a good series out of four and five i get anxious just watching playoff overtime hockey if i don't have a dog in the fight if you're a player if you're out there on the ice during overtime in the playoffs, do you feel as nervous as people watching you?
No, even now watching, I'm just like, yeah, it's like a panic.
Yeah.
Playing, no.
No.
Just hockey.
We were in double overtime in the cup finals, and I just remember not even thinking about it,
but you're not thinking how a fan would be sitting there on the edge of their seat the whole time.
Yeah, it's crazy watching it. It is the best.
All right. Thank guys appreciate it love you god bless welcome back to another fire fest of the week brought to you by our friends over at morgan and morgan you know what really sucks sleeping in missing a podcast you know what else really sucks getting injured but you know what doesn't suck calling morgan and morgan so they can help you get what you deserve while they can't help you wake up on time they can help fight to get you full and fair compensation when injured if you're ever injured you can check out morgan and morgan their fee is free unless they win for more information go to for the people.com slash pmt or dial pound law pound 529 from your cell phone that's for the people.com slash pmt or dial pound law pound law pound five to nine from your cell this is a paid advertisement okay fire fest the week let's set the table real quick if you can uh put the camera on the couch there is no henry lockwood here right now so uh we have an idea that Hank has possibly slept in.
His phone maybe wasn't charged because we've all texted him. I texted him something unrelated at 930 in the morning.
No, it is pretty early right now, Big Cat. Oh, yeah.
It's 1120 on a Thursday. Let's just give him one last chance.
Hey, Henry. Sorry, what's your call? Yep.
So he did play three rounds of golf yesterday. He played three rounds of golf.
So we're going to tape our FireFest. Hank hopefully is fine.
And he will be here later at some point. But we will get his take after we do our FireFest whenever he does show up.
As we're taping this. So how it works is we sometimes will have like different stuff going on during the day.
So we tape in different portions. So I texted last night.
I was like, hey, let's do end of the show at around 11 a.m. We'll have Kirk and Whitney on and then we'll wait till the Masters first round is over so that we have updated to start the show.
So everyone knew the plan. sleeping as of right this second 11 21 on a Thursday morning when he wakes up he is going to be in the worst mood of all time I mean he's not a good wake-upper anyway yeah but when he realizes that it's I how late do you think he can sleep it's Sunday it's Sunday scary is in turbo mode when you do this on a weekday like if you're supposed to be if you've ever overslept, missed a class, missed a meeting, he's going to come in.
He's going to react one or two ways. Choose your own adventure with Hank.
Is Hank going to be like, I'm sorry. I fucked this up.
Hand up. It's on me.
Or Hank could come in and just be mad at everyone because he knows that we made fun of him before we got here. I think it's going to be the latter.
You think he's going to go B? He's going to be pre-mad? I think it's going to be like, I'm going to make a joke when he walks in and he's going to just be like, give me that death stare. I'm like, oh, okay, I see.
I think he's going to take accountability. He'll be like, I screwed up.
You guys can make fun of me. No.
No chance. He will take accountability in the fact that you can't really say anything when you're a 30-year- who sleeps till noon on a thursday i think it's but he's not going to be happy that we're making fun of him do you think it was a i forgot to plug in my phone or he had some power issues his apartment i think he i think he forgot to plug in his phone and he was overtired because we have been going all over the place yeah so that i will back hank up on uh we have been working a lot and uh mini golf takes a lot out of you yeah i forgot to specify that three rounds of golf were mini golf yeah mini golf uh but yeah i think listen i i also we're gonna we have a job to do he's got a job to do yep our job is to make fun of him his job is going to be to get mad at us because i don't think that this is so beyond scaries when you when when he wakes up he is going to have the worst 15 20 minutes ever ever max what are you gonna say i'm just thinking like i was gonna ask him to do an ad read and pfti may be asking you to do that ad read now because because of hank yeah oh so now he's affecting my day actually you know what's going to be very funny is the like five minutes after he wakes up when he looks at his phone and it's dead and then he has to plug it in and wait.
Yeah. And he's just going to be staring at his phone.
Imagine the text like a jack in the box from hell that are going to pop out of that thing in his face. And oh my God.
You know, sometimes when you like first plug it in and it like takes way longer than it should for it to actually turn on, I hope it's 10 minutes. And he, it probably says something maybe about my relationship with Hank because I've known him for so long.
But when this happened to PFT a few years ago and his phone was unplugged and he slept in, I was like calling everyone thinking he had died. was like very very concerned with hank it's like all right well we got to record and make fun of him yeah that time i don't think i even had anything no we did we had the interview we had an interview because you came into the interview late yeah and you're like i slept in i legit was like is he okay the worst thing ever about that day was coming into work and I think I came in at noon, and everybody in the office was like, are you all right? Yeah.
And they thought that I had a problem. Yeah.
I thought you would die. Yeah.
I got texts from everybody like, are you alive? Are you okay? And then I had to just come and be like, I was just tired. I'm sorry.
Like, I slept in. But, yeah, this is- If something happens to Hank, we're never going to hear this.
No. Yeah, I guess I am a little nervous now that I just said that out loud.
Who would we... No, Hank sleeps in, though.
Yeah, he does. He's a sleeper.
So that makes me a little... But what point do we start sounding alarms where, like, should we do a wellness check? I think one.
I was thinking 1230. One.
after lunch okay after lunch i will call his uh his residence and see if maybe the doorman can do a wellness check well now now that now this just kind of put a shiver down my spine yeah um but we wouldn't hear this he's just tired yeah he's fine he's fine he's fine he's just tired and he's grumpy he's absolutely fine uh okay fire fest pft uh my fire fest of the week is i have to do an ad read because hank slept in that's tough that's tough i was i thought i was free and clear today i didn't get any text for memes this morning he hasn't sauntered up behind me like the undertaker and just been like hey hey pft i got a camera can you do the ad read to be completely fair i also hadn't brought it up to hank that i needed him to do the ad read either so then you should save that yeah you should save that and bring it up to him yeah also one thing we forgot to say is the good news for hank is it's not like uh the entire company's here this today yeah it's not like dave's in the office that adds so much to it because if it was just us he would just have to deal with us giving him shit like if dave needs him for some reason in the next three hours and can't find him oh my god and if whitney catches wind of this oh it would be a shame it's over told him it'd be a real shame if someone were to let kirk manahan know oh no uh but my my real firefest of the week is uh i've had i've had dog trouble this week dog Dog trouble starting last week with Blake.
He's been limping a lot.
Took him into the vet.
Was very scared because there's all sorts of shoulder injuries that they said he could have.
They're all like a six-month to a year recovery.
Blake's very much a puppy.
He's obviously super, super active.
Turns out it's growing pains, but it's bad growing pains.
The worst part about this whole experience has been
I've had Blake doped up to hell all week so he's drooling he's sleeping trying to keep his energy down so he doesn't walk around at all but every time he starts to sober up he just starts to sprint sprint around the house because he's like holy shit i can play again and then he re-injured his shoulder so it's like hurt or injured hurt or injured i think he's just hurt um but when
he wakes up he's now waking up super early in the morning because he sleeps all day so he wakes up at like 5 a.m and he just comes up to me and just claws my chest pause me to roll me over or wake me up and he's been it's been tough trying to try to just get any sort of exercise into him without him re-injuring himself.
And so now today,
I'm out of all the sedatives
that I had for him.
So now he's just going to be re-injuring himself left and right, left and right running around. So yeah, this is going to be an interesting master's weekend.
Cause I, like you said, best couch weekend of the year. Blake's not going to want, he's going to be like, let's go out and play.
You get more, get off the couch. Can you get more we get pug go get some pug yeah pug could get some go to the vet yeah hook it up get some trazodone pug yeah he'll get it get him on a drip but that's bad and then um also my house is i the joys of a homeowner you forget like all the stuff that you're super used to take care of um i've had like three things fall apart in my house this winter time and now because it's out of the winter time i have to fix those things like the garage door remember when i told you the garage door got frozen to the bottom so it bent the door now i have to get my garage door fixed my outside door got jammed and i tried to yank it open and pulled it off the hinges and broke a hinge and now i I have to get that fixed.
And, uh, yeah, just stuff falling apart around the house. It's, it's tough.
It's crazy because, uh, you know, as everyone knows from, from Billy's campaign, dudes can't buy houses anymore. Um, so I, I became a homeowner, whatever, a year ago, first time in my life.
And it is, it's awesome owning a house, but man, you forget how much shit you could just call someone and be like, Hey, come fix this. And now you're like, uh, It's it's awesome owning a house but man you forget how much shit you could just call someone and be like hey come fix this yeah now you're like uh it's it's my house i gotta fix it myself there's tons of stuff and especially since i bought michael jordan's old house having somebody come out and redo like the custom 23 garage door yeah that's gonna take a long time wood floors are buckling a little on your basketball court the blackjack table uh felt on the third the third blackjack table, not the primary two, is coming up a little bit.
And now I got to get a felt guy. Oh, man.
Sucks. Yeah.
Those like the uber, uber rich who just have like house managers. Yeah.
That's it. Like a guy that is the boss.
Yeah. Who just is around the house and he's just like, yeah, I'll take care of this.
I'll take care of that. You have a company that works inside your house because you have the manager and then you have like the landscapers.
Yeah. And all the handymen.
It'd be nice to be there. Really nice.
Okay. My fire fest is I tweeted this on Saturday when we were at the final four.
But after 39, maybe not 39 years, because probably when I was a baby, this happened, probably 34 years, I had a great run as a guy who didn't spill on himself, and that run has come to an end. I am now a spill guy.
Happens probably once a week. Chips and queso have become the devil.
I just end up with a spill no matter what. I think its reflexes have gotten slower and just maybe not paying as much attention.
Because I did pride myself as being a guy who very rarely spilled anything. I think I know what it is.
What? I think I know the difference. I've noticed this about myself, and I think as a dad, this applies more directly to you.
You probably do more eating while standing than you did at any other point in your life. That's very true well i i i am a big stand and eat guy because i i'm convinced that if you're standing while eating it the calories are basically halved because it's like you never sat down and had a real meal uh but yeah it's it's tough to come to grips with being like okay i'm the guy who will just have a huge mark right in the middle of his sweatshirt or t-shirt uh once a, and there's nothing I can do about it.
I've just, I've become, I actually appreciate everyone because when I did tweet it, there was a lot of people who were like, welcome to the club. Like, it's okay, won't you admit it? Because I think that would probably be worse if I somehow denied the fact that I was a spill guy.
If I was a spill guy in denial, I think that would be worse because I would basically just be living like, oh, no, I'm fine. I don't spill.
I'm a spill guy. Yeah.
I spill on myself. I've noticed I've started to spill way more when I drink.
Yeah. It's like out the side of my mouth.
Your mouth doesn't work the same. Your mouth doesn't work.
Yeah. Your mouth doesn't work.
Your hands don't work. It's just, yeah.
And reflexes are just different. Like, I'll have moments where I will spill and old me would do the thing where, you know, you almost step back like in the Matrix.
Yeah. Dodge the thing that's coming down on your shirt.
You might have to become- That doesn't even happen. Might become a bib guy.
I should become a bib guy. How come bibs are only for guys that are eating lobster and babies? We should have more bibs.
Yeah, bibs are fine. Or we could just design shirts that have pre-designed spills on them.
Yeah, that would be good too it's it's it's getting to a point too where i think when you have to fully admit that you're a spill guy is i've had multiple times in the last couple of months where i spill and don't realize i spilled for a solid like five ten minutes yeah that's worse because because you didn't even come into my head that like oh you might have spilled on yourself and then i looked down 10 minutes later i'm like there's just a fucking huge splotch of salsa on my shirt so my dad used to always be shirtless around the house he if it wasn't like if there wasn't company over he would just be like i'm in my own house let me stop you right there i can't take my shirt off well okay well that yeah let me stop you right there that might that might be the next nodding his head right now there's got their shirtless and non-shirtless guys. There's a lot of dudes.
They get older.
They don't care.
It's like my house.
I'm going to take my shirt off and hang out.
No.
You can't spill on your shirt if you're not wearing one.
You don't have enough shame if you're one of those guys.
And just to be clear, I would love to be a shirtless guy.
I'd have to be 40 pounds lighter because I always was jealous of the guy who would, you know, it's 60 degrees out.
First nice day in spring and they're just walking around with their top off because they have something to flaunt i have to keep my shirt on at all times and i make fun of those guys i'm like oh this guy coming out with his shirt off just wants to show everyone he has but like realistically i'd love to oh yeah of course of course max you can back me up I probably no shirt on for, not counting shower time, 15 seconds a day. I quick change even in my bathroom, in my closet, I'll quick change.
Hate it. Hate it.
So yeah, that one's out. Good idea, but it's out.
You just got to transition to not giving a fuck. Nah, it's still, because you just know what you look like without your shirt on, and it's such a bad scene.
We're actually being gracious to everyone around us. Yes.
No one wants to see that. Also, Spill Guy has to do it.
That's also a fat guy move. Yeah, but I would- No, no, no, no.
Like I said. No, Max, you're very wrong about that.
Spill Guy, it affects all body types. Spill Guy, I think, is, yeah, more reflexes.
Because I was not a spill guy. I know people won't believe me, but for the longest time, I was, you know, even like, I prided myself on being an incredible ice cream cone guy.
Like, I didn't have that shit flying around. I knew when the bottom was starting to give, get that napkin under there.
It just went on me. So reflexes are gone.
I a spill guy now i think you gotta so you you should either wear a bib or you should sit down more while you eat yeah those are the only two options here but i don't think that sitting down while you eat it is really an option at all because when we're on the road we we graze yeah there's like food that's around exactly sometimes we don't have dinner time sometimes we don't have lunch we have like a little spread that's set out while we're working. You have to stand while you eat that.
I ate, I was very hungry this morning. I ordered breakfast or lunch at 9.30, which was crazy, but whatever.
Just follow me here. I got a burrito.
I ate the whole burrito over a trash can because I was like, I know this is going to be a problem. So I was just standing over a trash can being like, I can't let a spill happen at 9 9 30 in the morning when i'm eating lunch and people are like why do you have burrito on your fucking sweatshirt at 9 30 in the morning so yeah i'm a spill guy i embrace it welcome uh all the spill guys who have welcomed me to the party i appreciate it we will stand together no shaming spills it just happens some sometime in life you just become a spill guy should make a car wash for dudes i think it's just shower no but just walk through it just walk through it real fast uh all right jake finish this off and then we'll actually we'll add on hank so finish off and then we'll do hank all right so saturday night after the final four it took me an hour and a half to get an uber i was stranded at state farm stadium i would have just given up and the prices kept going up yeah it was like 200 get home they surge you it's crazy yeah that's it's such a frustrating thing when the the app is like still loading loading loading see your driver details soon after about 45 minutes i just i just would have held my breath i walked just been like okay that's it for me i asked for a cab company and i called them and no one answered and it was just exhausting i just would have sat on the curb and cried i was at that point yeah hitchhike bring back hitchhiking bring back hitchhiking hitchhiking was safe i feel like hitchhiking got a bad rap because there are a couple serial killers out there who cares who cares i'd say i'd say almost 100 of serial killers uh excuse, almost 100% of hitchhikers ended without a serial killer encounter.
And that's how everyone got around in the 60s.
Yeah, that's true.
Talk to your parents.
A couple guys ruined it.
Yeah.
Okay, so should we just stop right here and then we'll do Hank?
Yep.
So we're going to have, the next thing you'll hear is Henry Lockwood sitting on this couch
with the biggest fire festival. Mm, so Hank.
Hey, guys. Good to see that you're alive.
We're just now doing fire fest of the week. So we actually taped the whole fire fest without you.
And we said during it that, like, we may just have to delete this if you're dead. But you're not.
I'm not excited to hear that. I am excited that I'm alive, and you guys don't have to do that.
Yeah. I'm worried sick about you, Hank.
Worried sick. Yeah, I mean, that's fair.
It's a fair concern. It was a very reasonable hour to be awake, and I wasn't.
So, yeah, walk us through what happened and how bad your scaries were when you realized what had happened. My is still crawling out of my skin um no excuses really just really just embarrassing honestly but if i was giving excuses which i'm not because there are none right um more just why it happened was up was up early yesterday was here early for for for mini golf only had a couple hours of sleep long day and then caleb our friend was in town he's like oh i'm gonna come you know check out your apartment that turned into a long night uh that turned into a long night we went out late a few bars club late night on little sleep got home put my phone in the charger turned my fan app Uh, but it was on the charger where it's on the back, not plugged in.
Oh, the magnetic chargers, one of those magnetic charger, you just put it on and assume it charges. And then I opened my eyes.
Uh, and I, I was like, it's really bright outside and I'm rested. And I was like, this is bad.
I could just tell by how much, you know, I knew what time I went to bed and I was like, I could tell by how and i was like this is bad i could just tell by how much you know i knew what time i went to bed and i was like i could tell by how rested i was that this this is very bad and i was like my phone was dead i was like oh fuck this is a disaster couldn't even figure out how to get the time i was like i know i know this is bad but what time is it we said that we're like i don't think he has a clock i have a clock in my i have a clock in my microwave i found and i was praying in your microwave on my microwave praying that it was uh like the time difference it was an hour ahead somehow that it was like 11 40 and or that was 10 40 not 11 40 and then i turned on my tv i figured out if i turned on my tv and looked at the guide it would tell me yeah and it was 11 40 do you remember there was a number growing up this is going to date us that you could call and get the time yeah it would just tell you what time it was i wouldn't have had a phone to call yeah so all right so the worst part had to have been the moment you woke up to the moment your phone was fully charged to turn on yeah because i also left my laptop here so i was like i couldn't even i couldn't even get on. The anxiety about what I missed and texting calls and stuff was just absolutely ripping, and it felt like it took an hour for my phone to turn on.
Yeah, you actually missed OJ's death. Yeah.
OJ died. Did you know that? What? OJ died, yeah.
Oh, nice. We get to break the new egg.
OJ's dead. OJ Simpson? O.
OJ Simpson dead. How? Dead.
Died by death. Dead.
That's confirmed. Yes.
Confirmed dead. Everyone's been talking about it.
Very dead. That's insane.
He is dead. He ain't coming back.
Wow. That is absolutely insane.
I wish we hadn't told him. Yeah.
See how long could he go without knowing. Who's back of the week on Monday.
Wow. So, Hank, you didn't know OJ died.
No. What are your thoughts on OJ? Bad guy.
Yeah. Good riddance.
Only the good die young. He was 78.
That's older than I thought. So, what are we going to reassess the protocol here? Are we going to have a meeting about how we internally, how we fix this so it doesn't happen again? Probably if he does it again, he has to get a soul patch for two years.
Oh, good point. Yep.
Who was the first call? Was I the first call? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
I mean, the fact that I called your apartment, because I was, I was like, we did the whole fire fest. Well, it's also Wednesday.
I never go. I would never.
I thought you had gone home because you were about. I did go home.
I was home and Caleb was like, I'm going to come check out your apartment. I thought we're going to have a couple of drinks and hang out.
So it's Caleb's fault. No, no, it's my fault.
Hank, I have a serious question for you. Have you become a club guy? I've always kind of been a club guy.
But I think you're really into clubs now. No, not necessarily.
It's fun. It's fun in the right circumstance.
I i think but like i wouldn't go to a club on a regular weekend yeah on a friday like i you know if i was going out this week i wouldn't go to a club is okay factor fiction is wednesday a weeknight wednesday is a weeknight okay okay i think hank is in the category caleb had a famous uh line maybe five years ago where he just was like, I'm done apologizing for partying. He was like, I'm just not.
I'm going to party, and I don't care what anyone says about it. I think Hank might be in that spot.
Yeah, I apologized for partying last night. I mean, my actions are bad.
I'm trying to figure out a way to pay for it. I mean, you're not in trouble.
No, I know, but I just feel bad. I think I'm going to get a bar tab for the crew members of mini golf.
I've had a busy few days. So you're going to go back to the bar tonight? I don't know if I'm going to go, but I'm going to get some goodwill, pay it forward.
This is going to turn into the exact same thing tomorrow morning. I just remembered something.
Hank, Sunday, you told me that you were done drinking for six weeks. Oh, no.
I was. We were getting a beer before the game, and he was like, yeah, this will probably be my last day.
I'm going to go six weeks no drinking.
I mean, I did.
That was the plan.
And then I went home, and I was like, you know.
Wait, you did what?
You went two days without drinking.
Yeah.
No, I have no excuse.
You quit drinking for six weeks for two days.
I am quitting drinking now until May. I have a wedding, a friend's wedding in May, May 18th.
Okay. What about tonight? Well, this is like, you got to, you know, hair of the dog.
Yeah, you got it. And if, you know, I don't know if I'll go, but I'm going to get the tab.
And if I go, I might have, you know, one beer. Just one.
I'm happy you're okay. Because there was, we joked about about it and then the fear started to creep in my
head where i was like wait are we joking about something that could be an actual problem no no just i'm a fucking idiot what you said was very very relatable though where you wake up and you immediately feel so good that you feel bad yeah you feel like i'm way too rested yeah Okay, well, numbers.
Let's do numbers.
Good show.
Scott Van Pelt on Monday.
As is true. to rested.
Yeah. Okay.
Well, numbers. Let's do numbers.
Good show.
Scott Van Pelt
on Monday. As is tradition.
I'm going to take
20
for the amount of hours Hank
slept last night. I'll take 17.
3. Oh, I was going to do that.
Fuck. 3.
Alright, I'll take
what's Max's usual number?
20. I took that.
Oh, you did?
Okay.
18.
Give me 56.
Tiger hitting lefty.
Yeah, he hit lefty.
Why did you pick 56?
Why?
That's the only number I've ever won on.
At the old office.
Oh, I just happened to pick it.
That's weird.
Wait, look, plug in Shane.
Yeah, no, I'm not going to hit it.
No, no, I'm good.
Shane?
21.
57!
Oh!
Damn!
Love you guys. Talking away I don't know what I'm to say I say it anyway Today's my day to find you Shining away I'll be coming for your love of me Take on me Take me on me Take me on I'll be gone After I'm too Needless to say I want to send it But I'll keep stumbling away Tell me the life is okay Say after me It's the better to I love you.
I'll be gone
I'll be gone
I'll be gone