Comedian Andrew Santino, Conference Championship Madness + Fyre Fest Of The Week

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Speaker 1 On today's part in my take, it is March Madness time.

Speaker 1 We're going to talk about what we watch Conference Championship Week. We got a crazy bears trade at the end of the night.

Speaker 1 Aaron Rodgers Conspiracy Theory Hour.

Speaker 1 What else do we got? We have Andrew Santino. Incredible interview with Andrew Santino, our good friend, second time on.

Speaker 1 Great talking to him. We're going to do Fire Fest.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out or washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't blame all on the sun.

Speaker 1 Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Elite Trick Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

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Speaker 1 You can bet five bucks to get $150 instantly in bonus bets only at DraftKings Sportsbook with code TAKE. Today is Friday, March 15th, and

Speaker 1 some bubbles have been burst.

Speaker 6 Duke.

Speaker 1 Dukes.

Speaker 1 Duke's bubble has been burst. They lose to North Carolina State.
No, this is full disclosure for the AWLs. We could get a little loopy here because we just watched 12 hours of basketball non-stop.

Speaker 1 My eyes feel like they're going to fall out of my head. I love every second of it.
That's not a complaint. It is more of an explanation if my words don't work correctly.

Speaker 6 We could do without overtime, though. Those are the seconds I could do without.
Overtime is a sword to the stomach if you have any sort of action? Because you never win an overtime back. No.
Never.

Speaker 6 It's always

Speaker 6 on the side. Dogs die there.
Unders go to die there.

Speaker 6 We do have, we should probably talk about.

Speaker 1 I want to pick. I want to listen.
That Villanova game was tough to watch for our guy Max. And

Speaker 1 we went through the DePaul game last night.

Speaker 1 Let's all just go around the room and say something nice about Max.

Speaker 6 He's powerful.

Speaker 1 I am proud of how Max fought in that game.

Speaker 5 Best hair on the podcast.

Speaker 1 Oh, nice, Jake.

Speaker 6 He makes watching

Speaker 6 March basketball so much more interesting.

Speaker 1 You can say March Madness.

Speaker 1 Well, it's not March Madness. Okay, well, it is March Madness.
It's March and we got Madness. Well, that's next week.
Yeah, yeah. Champ Week.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Memes.

Speaker 1 He's strong. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Max, say something nice about yourself.

Speaker 1 Pass.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 6 What is Pug? Ask Pug for something nice. Pug'n't in here.
Yeah, just text him, though. Yeah.
Memes cinema text. Max, I also admired how you fought tonight.
We had subdued Max.

Speaker 6 Would you call yourself Monday and Max? Monday Max.

Speaker 6 Tried to tone it down a little bit. The fire escaped, but that's fine.
Some of the fire is good, I think. But I'm proud of the way that you held your own against Rico.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You did a good job. And you fought hard, Max.
And

Speaker 1 here's something else, Max.

Speaker 1 This is sad. Okay, all right, all right, all right, all right.
Here's something else, Max, that I'm going to say.

Speaker 1 Do you know the movie, What About Bob?

Speaker 1 Have you ever seen the classic What About Bob? No. Bill Murray.
Bill Murray. Classic movie.
70s?

Speaker 1 80s. Shut the fuck up, Hank.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Here's just the premise. So forget about what about Bob, but it's essentially like when you walk around and everyone is like, that guy's crazy, that guy's crazy.

Speaker 1 And finally, you have something happen where everyone's like, no, maybe he's not crazy. Max, Kyle Neptune sucks at coaching basketball.
You are not crazy. He got absolutely worked by Shaka Smart.

Speaker 1 The fact that he didn't call a timeout with 30 seconds left in the game when his team, like eliminate the fact that maybe you say, hey, let's let the boys play. We have something drawn up.

Speaker 1 His team was staring at him, looking for direction. The point guard brought it to where they usually call the timeout, and he was like, nah, just keep playing.
That guy is not a good basketball coach.

Speaker 1 Jay Wright would have won that game. It was disgusting.

Speaker 1 And Shaka Smart, I know it didn't count, but the play that he called, the fact that he had the ball inbounded, pass half court, timeout to a perfectly drawn-up play for the buzzer beater that didn't count.

Speaker 1 But still, that was the disparity in coaching. So you're not crazy, Max.
Kyle Neptune's got to go.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 I've watched it all year.

Speaker 7 We lost five games by one possession. Every time we had a chance to win a game, we didn't do it unless it's against DePaul.

Speaker 1 Which, that was tough. That was a tough fight.

Speaker 6 I'm not going to say that Cal Neptune

Speaker 6 was looking at the spread, but I will say the way he reacted when that shot was waved off, when they spent like three minutes reviewing the last-second shot by Marquette, turns out it was maybe on his pinky.

Speaker 6 I don't know. I still don't know whether it was on his pinky or not.

Speaker 1 They overturned that one.

Speaker 7 I think his salary is going to cost a lot more than whatever bet he must have had on it.

Speaker 6 Which is why I'm not saying that he bet on it. I'm not saying that, but I'm saying that he acted like a man who did after they waved that off.

Speaker 6 The look on his face when he found out it was going to overtime, utter disappointment. He did not call a timeout on their last attempt in regulation to win the game.

Speaker 6 He did, however, call a timeout in overtime, down six points

Speaker 6 with an opportunity to cover the spread. Yeah.
He called that timeout, but he didn't call the first. I'm just saying,

Speaker 6 I'm not saying, but I'm saying. Does that make sense?

Speaker 6 Not going to say it. Yes, Hank.

Speaker 6 His facial hair is impressive, pug.

Speaker 1 Oh, nice. Max, here's another spin zone for you.

Speaker 1 I think with what happened against DePaul

Speaker 1 and the fact that we've had a few

Speaker 1 bid stealers going down,

Speaker 1 I think you would have probably been out no matter what. And it would have sucked to have to get your hopes up after a win and then watch on Sunday and they don't announce Villanova's name.

Speaker 7 We've dominated Providence this year.

Speaker 1 Okay, but I'm still saying.

Speaker 7 We beat them by 25 and then 15.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that actually does suck because Providence was incredible against it.

Speaker 7 If we beat Providence and go to the Biggies Final,

Speaker 7 you can't keep us out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was a big upset.

Speaker 6 The good news is you had low expectations for that, though.

Speaker 6 You didn't get hurt that bad.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Providence played very, very well, beat Creighton. We also had NC State taking down Duke.

Speaker 1 John Shire, hot seat. Maybe.

Speaker 6 He was sweating on the sidelines.

Speaker 1 Well, it's Classic Duke fans. They were immediately just talking about how awesome their recruiting class is.

Speaker 6 It was also Classic Duke because after the game, they did post the final score on Twitter. Yep.

Speaker 6 But they locked the comments. Yep.

Speaker 6 Classic college shutting down free speech

Speaker 6 in America. A little bit of that going on these days.

Speaker 1 They ended up unlocking the comments. You can unlock a comment on that.
Yeah, well, everyone was, I mean, myself included, I just quote to you and said,

Speaker 1 turn the replies back on, cowards.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I kind of wish that they had just left it locked so that we can continue to roast them for it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, it's way worse to once.

Speaker 6 When you post the final score without posting, without opening up the comments, that's worse than not posting the final score. Yeah.

Speaker 6 That's saying, like, I know you're about to make fun of me, but don't do this. Right.

Speaker 1 I'm soft and

Speaker 1 I need a safe space away. Just don't even post the final score.
Well, no, that would be a problem, too.

Speaker 6 I think it's better that they just don't post the final score than if they post it and then shut it down.

Speaker 1 I think we're going to get to a point with social media that like teams are going to start doing like final score graphics.

Speaker 1 You know how there sometimes will be sponsors attached yeah they're going to be like final score graphic sponsor attached here's this child's go fund me you know they have cancer and they'll tag a child yeah

Speaker 1 so the child yeah all the replies because because for some reason it's such a hilarious thing that these social media accounts whether or not they don't post the score or they turn off the replies Who the fuck cares?

Speaker 1 If you run the Duke account, you don't have to read the replies.

Speaker 1 Just post it and just go on with yourself.

Speaker 6 Yeah, what's the issue with it? They just don't want people seeing, they don't want their fans to have to read those replies.

Speaker 1 It's crazy. It's like the softest thing ever.
I don't understand it. It's like, why not just post it? It happened.
So, yeah,

Speaker 1 we had some great basketball. We had some crazy finishes.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to think of what else. I mean, Kansas lost last night.
Kansas is down bad.

Speaker 1 It's weird seeing Kansas and Duke eliminated in the first round of their tournaments because usually Kansas is like, that is the bill self-invitational

Speaker 1 most years in the Big 12.

Speaker 6 Yeah, we had St. John's advancing.

Speaker 6 And I saw several times during the game Rick Betino does, in fact, talk to the referees. Yep.
I think he may have pulled the wool over our eyes on that one. But yeah, good for St.
John's.

Speaker 6 Big East Tournament's been very fun so far.

Speaker 1 Big East Tournament's been a lot of fun. Johnny Fanta texted me.
He was, by the way, great job by John Fanta

Speaker 1 pumping up Red Panda.

Speaker 1 That was great. Just two of the best people in the world in one clip.
But Rick Petino said after the game, we have to play a different style in March, and it's called racehorse basketball.

Speaker 1 It takes the pressure pressure off of you and allows you to play freely.

Speaker 6 They also asked him how he can beat UConn, and he said, well, I need six of their guys to get COVID. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Makes sense. We also had a very weird encounter after the Providence game.
A reporter asked if Kim English is married because he's hot.

Speaker 1 So that was weird.

Speaker 1 What else? My Badgers might be back.

Speaker 6 They look good today. That was crazy.
They didn't miss.

Speaker 1 They hit every single three.

Speaker 6 They didn't miss. The Badgers were on fire.

Speaker 1 They did the one thing that's going to be a good thing.

Speaker 6 They wanted to play these Badgers.

Speaker 1 They did the one thing that's going to get me back in they started hitting threes again yeah because i think in the month of february they were like 15 from three points and today they just hit everything they double they were there was one point it was 80 to 40 against scott vim pelt's maryland terrapins and uh yeah i'm gonna fall back in love which sucks yeah uh Maryland looked awful.

Speaker 6 Yeah. They've looked pretty bad.

Speaker 6 They looked bad even when they won against Rutgers, but they managed to pull it off.

Speaker 6 Maryland, bad team. Wisconsin, good team.
Ohio State, good team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Ohio State's hot. Ohio State's hot.
Ohio State. Indiana too.
Real good right now. This is Indiana.
Yeah, they do it big.

Speaker 1 Indiana's starting to reel off some wins. Yep.
Get some teams peaking at the right time. Yep.

Speaker 1 What else? The Atlantic 10 was nuts. Yeah, so boy over.
All the top seeds are out. Wow.

Speaker 6 It's nine versus five and six versus seven in the semis. Yeah, Dayton loses.

Speaker 1 So that's where you would have been maybe screwed, Max, because that was that whole

Speaker 1 conference just got. You get to the Biggies tournament, you're in the you're in the dance you get you mean the final

Speaker 1 final you're in the dance yeah

Speaker 1 um yeah they also

Speaker 6 they robbed from us the moment that we would have had on sunday where we had a live camera on max as they announced the bracket and then if nova hadn't made then we would have gotten to see max there's going to be a small part of them that's still maybe yeah if i were i'm retired from march oh okay retired from march hank what do you think about duke losing you didn't really chime in are you going to be a duke fan this year or no?

Speaker 5 This year, it's main event time. It's main event time.

Speaker 1 Sparks Madness. They didn't even

Speaker 1 Cooper flag. Yeah.

Speaker 6 They didn't even try to take a three.

Speaker 1 Is that his nickname? Main Event? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Main event. It's main event time.
It is. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, fuck, I love this week so much, and it's just such a blur. It is

Speaker 1 so long. It's so long.
It's starting and just chaos everywhere.

Speaker 6 I do feel beaten down by March already.

Speaker 6 March won the first round against me. That's a 10-7 round.
Yeah. That's a rare, rare 10-7.

Speaker 1 My body feels already broken, and we're two days in.

Speaker 1 And yeah, and tomorrow we get to do it all again, and it's even better matchups and better games because you have all the teams in the SEC who had buys, double buys. Big Ten had double buys.

Speaker 1 We're getting everyone involved. We've got some semifinal games.

Speaker 1 We're getting everyone involved tomorrow. It's going to be great.
Yep.

Speaker 6 We also had some NFL news. Yeah.
Bears are back, right?

Speaker 1 Keenan Allen.

Speaker 6 I think Keenan Allen's a really good player.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 6 So he has a hard time staying healthy.

Speaker 6 You have to say that. I'm talking about Keenan Allen.
Yeah. But when he's playing, he's been consistently one of the better receivers in the league for it feels like 10 years.

Speaker 1 I can't be upset by people doing the same thing I do, where if someone else, if you don't root for the Bears and

Speaker 1 they trade for Keenan Allen, you can easily be like, he's 32, he's old, he's injured. That's fine.

Speaker 1 Ryan Poles is setting up Caleb Williams. He's going to have the best setup for any quarterback that's ever stepped onto a Bears roster.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I got a question for you, Big Cat. So, this is maybe the first time I remember a team being all in when they're about to draft a rookie quarterback.
They're not, though.

Speaker 6 You don't think the Bears are all in?

Speaker 1 No, because they still have a shitload of cap space. They didn't use it all.

Speaker 6 So they're not all in yet. They're partially.
Are they all in your ass?

Speaker 1 No, I think they're a year away from being all in. I think next year, I think the way that Ryan Poles is structuring this roster, like he didn't go nuts in free agency.

Speaker 1 The best free agent, you want a nice cliche? Best free agent signing by the Bears?

Speaker 6 The one that you don't make?

Speaker 1 Jalen Johnson. Okay, yeah.
Keep him on your team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, keeping him on your team.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I think they're setting up for Caleb Williams, and I think they'll probably trade the ninth pick now so they can get more picks because we don't have a ton of picks.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I like Keenan Allen. Keen Allen's really good when he's healthy.
He's very, very good. I know he's injured a lot, but he's very good when he's healthy.
And he's got to be...

Speaker 1 Now he doesn't have to be number one. He can be number two to DJ Moore.

Speaker 6 To me, the big question is, who is Justin Herbert going to throw the ball to?

Speaker 1 I think Justin Herbert.

Speaker 1 Do we feel bad for Justin herbert no i think it's i think it's memes meme it's adam silver but it's jim harbaugh's face get ready to learn handoff buddy they're going to play some man football and just hand it off hand it off hand it off the chargers need to reset everything they do we're in cap-hell so they lost they they traded keenan allen they cut mike williams right yeah mike williams got signed by i don't know Bosa

Speaker 1 restructured his contract yeah Austin Eckler gone so yeah they're gonna look totally different it's gonna be weird seeing the chargers Chargers next year.

Speaker 6 Totally different. I still think they'll be good.

Speaker 6 Patrick Mahomes, congratulations. You have a good wide receiver again.
Got Hollywood Brown.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's going to have like the best year ever.

Speaker 6 Him teaming up with Kadarius Toney, Thunder and Lightning. Actually, two Lightnings.

Speaker 1 He's going to be incredible. Double Lightning.
Shout out Patrick Mahomes. He's reached the final step of a franchise quarterback, Super Bowl-winning quarterback.
He's opening up a steakhouse.

Speaker 1 Oh, good for him. That's really it.
Like, you know, when you finally have made it,

Speaker 1 Renos, Elways.

Speaker 6 Is he going to have a signature dish, which is like swimming in ketchup, a ketchup post-steak?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Ketchup comes as a side.

Speaker 6 Yeah, bottle of ketchup at every table.

Speaker 1 Do you want the sauteed mushrooms or do you just want the Heinz? Yeah. Yeah, they're naming it 1587 Prime.
So it's Kelsey and Mahomes together.

Speaker 6 That's good. Yeah, but

Speaker 1 that feels like the, actually, I should say the final, final step is the steakhouse failing in like three years.

Speaker 6 Car dealership next. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Then car dealership.
But yeah, congrats to him. So

Speaker 1 and then we had Aaron Rodgers

Speaker 1 found out really quickly that there's a difference between being hated by NFL fans and then hated in the political space because almost instantly after the news came out that was reported first by PFT,

Speaker 1 by Leroy, there was a story that he's a Sandy Hook truther, which basically, I don't know if it's true or not, but if you are a Sandy Hook truther, And you don't think it happened, you're the biggest scumbag piece of shit on earth.

Speaker 6 Yeah, so I agree with that.

Speaker 6 Here's Aaron rodgers statement because he did post on twitter he said as i'm on the record saying in the past what happened in sandy hook was an absolute tragedy i am not and have never been of the opinion that the events did not take place again i hope that we learn from this and other tragedies to identify the signs that will allow us to prevent unnecessary loss of life my thoughts and prayers continue to remain with the families affected along with the entire sandy hook community heart emoji and then hashtag Hashtag nothing makes you think, right?

Speaker 6 That does make I like how he included his little signature hashtag nothing at the end of this very serious post. So he's saying that it didn't happen, that he's never said that.

Speaker 6 It was like a CNN reporter that claimed that he said that to her, and that there was another person that he said that to. So I don't know what the truth is.

Speaker 6 Aaron says he didn't say it, but one thing Aaron Rodgers has not denied yet is that he's running for vice president.

Speaker 6 So he went out of his way to make a statement denying that he said this about Sandy Hook, has not denied that he's considering being RFK Jr.'s running mate.

Speaker 6 And they're announcing the vice president for that ticket, I think next week in oakland california in northern california which is where aaron rodgers is from not from oakland but the area i think he's going to do it i think he's going to run for vice president it's going to be hilarious i don't know if he's going is he going to retire or is he going to try to do both that's the real question i still don't think he's going to do both you don't think so no i think that i mean aaron rodgers likes attention

Speaker 6 he's doing a lot of attention the the i thought about this the ultimate out for aaron rodgers right now he has the best opportunity in his mind presented in front of him on a silver platter right now which is to come out and say once again the new york times got it wrong fake news media right i'm not running for vice president right yeah and i think he would love to take that win yeah i i just don't i just i don't understand it i i wonder if the jets are quietly freaking out or they're like this is ridiculous there's no way uh it would be because i i have a feeling that if you like

Speaker 1 I have a feeling that Aaron Rodgers has probably texted the Jets front off, you know, Joe Douglas and Robert Salah and been like, hey, don't worry about it.

Speaker 1 Like, there's just news, and I love being talked about.

Speaker 6 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I mean, he loves being talked about. We spent all season when he was injured talking about him.

Speaker 6 Yeah, so, again, like we said on Wednesday's episode. If you were signing up to be the vice president, you would have to have run that by the Jets at some point already.

Speaker 1 And you would only do it.

Speaker 5 You can't just announce that and then talk to your organization.

Speaker 1 And you'd only do it if you, like, if he was running for vice president with Trump, I would actually think there would be a chance because you wouldn't do it if you had no chance of winning.

Speaker 6 Have you seen his record of the postseason?

Speaker 7 I'm just saying.

Speaker 1 It would be like a.

Speaker 6 What's the word I'm looking for?

Speaker 5 You just want the takes, which is fair.

Speaker 6 No, no, I want the takes. I'm also thinking, like, we were talking about the Jets' history of quarterbacks.
It would be like, you can't get any worse than this.

Speaker 6 You finally think you have your guy after all these years. You go out, you spend like a full calendar year being like, next year we're going to get Aaron Rodgers.
You put on a full court press.

Speaker 6 You give in to all the Packers' trade demands. You finally get them.
You're like, we got our guy. Finally, the Jets have our quarterback, the missing piece, Super Bowl.
He comes in.

Speaker 6 You get his wish list of players, his former teammates. You bring all of them in.
You go out of your way. You pretty much make him the head coach of your franchise.

Speaker 6 And then he gets injured after four snaps, five snaps. And then the entire season, he's like, I'm going to come back.
I'm going to come back. And you're like, well, maybe we can do it this year.

Speaker 6 Maybe we can do it this year.

Speaker 6 And then he just strings you along, and he never comes back and then that next offseason you're like well next year we've got everything in order this is the year that we win a super bowl we have a quarterback and then he leaves you to run for vice president and gets three percent of the popular vote That would be the ultimate Jets quarterback storyline.

Speaker 6 It would.

Speaker 6 It's sad to say. And I say this as a fan of a team that has our own long history of having shitty quarterback news.

Speaker 6 Like, we have a very sad tradition, Washington, of quarterbacks since I feel like 1991. But this can't be topped.
If this actually happens, that would be.

Speaker 1 Means would be done. He'd be done as a human being.

Speaker 1 Just this conversation is making him uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 Just this conversation.

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Speaker 1 Ah, yes, Sam Howell gone.

Speaker 6 Sam Howell gone, I realized. Seahawks.
Yeah, he's a Seahawks. I can picture him in a Seahawks uniform.

Speaker 6 I think that's, it's actually, I think, a good trade for both sides because we got a third rounder and a fifth rounder for Sam Howell. We did give up a fourth and a sixth, I believe.
Okay.

Speaker 6 We just moved up in the draft.

Speaker 6 But I think it's a good trade for the Seahawks, too.

Speaker 6 He fills their Drew Locke backup position very nicely. Yes.
And I realized right after we traded him, I just recently purchased a Sam Howell jersey.

Speaker 6 The most expensive one that you can get. Why would you do that? Because I'm a moron.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, you're going to draft a quarterback.

Speaker 6 like, so then you start doing the math and reading the tea leaves. Does that make it more likely that the commanders end up drafting Jaden Daniels?

Speaker 1 That's what my instant knee-jerk reaction was: it was a Jaden Daniels move.

Speaker 1 Because if they were getting Drake, if they were getting Drake, Sam Howell and Drake May are good friends, that would make sense. Like, oh, yeah, you want him to be comfortable.

Speaker 6 You have an emotional support quarterback.

Speaker 1 Right, exactly. You have a setup.
So, yeah, I think Jaden Daniels.

Speaker 6 I think it might be Jaden, especially because we got Marcus Mariota. I feel like his his style of play

Speaker 6 run the same offense.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Sure. Sure.
So

Speaker 6 I can talk myself into Jaden Daniels very easily.

Speaker 1 Very easily. He's very exciting.

Speaker 6 One thing about Jayden Daniels, he has no desire to run for public office.

Speaker 1 Yet.

Speaker 6 Yet.

Speaker 5 That you know of.

Speaker 1 That you know of. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Is that going to be like a question that GM start asking prospective quarterbacks at the combine? Like, do you think Sandy Hook actually happened?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Do you do you have any

Speaker 1 ideas or imaginations of power? Yeah.

Speaker 6 Delusions of grandeur.

Speaker 1 Delusions of grandeur would be a good way to put it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't think he's going to run. I think Sam Howell, that was a good trade.
I agree. Yeah.
I think he'll actually get to play a little. He might.
He might.

Speaker 6 He's a fine young quarterback.

Speaker 1 Also, Mason Rudolph got traded to the Titans, so it is now firmly Russ versus Kenny. Yep.
Which, at least it's a little bit more clear.

Speaker 6 And the Titans got a receiver. So who'd they get?

Speaker 1 Oh, they got

Speaker 1 what's his name?

Speaker 1 Calvin Ridley. Yep.
Yeah. So good job, Titans.
Putting a little something around Will Levis.

Speaker 6 So I heard a theory today on ESP in Chicago, Big Cat. I'm curious to hear your take of this.

Speaker 6 The fact that Justin Fields hasn't been traded yet,

Speaker 6 there's some speculation that Ryan Poles last year made a mistake in trading too early, making a move too early. Yeah.

Speaker 6 When you can wait till closer to the draft or maybe a little bit after the draft in some cases, if you're in like training camp, and he thinks that Justin Fields' value is going to get higher as you get closer to the draft.

Speaker 1 Maybe.

Speaker 6 If you package him with one of the picks. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Maybe. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Maybe he's playing chess.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, there's, listen, this is a tough time right now just trying to get your, wrap your head around. There's a lot of factions.
in Bear Fandom.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of people who think that Justin Fields is staying. They have a lot of people who think that Caleb Williams is bad, that you've got to trade, all this stuff.

Speaker 1 There's theories that Ryan Poles and Justin Fields have put this whole thing together.

Speaker 1 Like, they sat down and he was like, hey, first thing you're going to do is unfollow the Bears on Instagram, and then we're going to get everyone talking about it.

Speaker 6 Then I've got a real nice puff piece coming out from Caleb Williams saying how much he wants to play for the Bears.

Speaker 1 Oh, Caleb Williams was at the golf game today, so people are like, oh, he doesn't care. Golf game, I said.
I told you I was going to be a little loopy and my words weren't going to work.

Speaker 6 The golf match.

Speaker 1 He was at the golf game today,

Speaker 1 and people were freaking out about that.

Speaker 6 I just got an ace on 17.

Speaker 6 Not impressive. Did he see it? He's also wearing a t-shirt.

Speaker 1 Oh, is that a problem?

Speaker 6 Was he wearing a backwards hat? Oh, Jake has a problem with it.

Speaker 1 What's the problem with him wearing a t-shirt? At a golf tournament? Who the fuck cares?

Speaker 6 It does go against the decorum of Sawgrass. Yeah.

Speaker 6 It doesn't matter. Think about the decorum, big guy.
What's he going to wear behind the podium? Is he going to show up in a dress again?

Speaker 1 I want my quarterbacks to stop sticking out and start sticking. No, Ace.

Speaker 6 Sticking it in.

Speaker 1 Stick it in. What was it? What was LeBron's?

Speaker 6 Stop fitting out, start fitting in. Fitting in, yeah.
I'm fine with crying, but you have to wear a golf shirt to a golf.

Speaker 1 That's where you draw the line.

Speaker 1 That's the line right there.

Speaker 6 Yeah, until I heard Jake say it, I was getting ready to just go all in on Caleb Williams being a classless piece of shit, but hearing the words come out of his mouth, I'm like, you know what?

Speaker 6 I don't care.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of t-shirts at a golf match. I don't think so.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Golf match. Not masters, but like it's

Speaker 1 TCP

Speaker 1 Sawgrass.

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 6 Let's see. I'll tell you this, but I didn't dream of wearing a non-colored shirt when I played there.
Didn't dream of it. If you're inside the ropes.

Speaker 1 People got to be comfortable. Let's see.
All right. I'm looking up Caleb Williams.

Speaker 1 PFC is wearing a comfortable golf shirt. It's Roeback.
That's true. This is crazy.
This is where you draw the line.

Speaker 1 This is how you're in. I hit a hole in one.
Rowback.

Speaker 6 Facts.

Speaker 6 Is it?

Speaker 1 You were playing golf. Yeah.
That's different. Different golf course.
All right. I'm counting.
In the picture with Caleb Williams, there is one, there's three sweatshirts,

Speaker 1 three t-shirts,

Speaker 1 and it looks like

Speaker 1 actually four t-shirts. I mean, this guy is fitting.

Speaker 1 No one's dressed up nice at this fucking event.

Speaker 1 I'm literally looking at the picture right now.

Speaker 1 There's three guys in sweatshirts, and there's four t-shirts I'm looking at.

Speaker 1 That's crazy. Come on, Jake.
He's in sweatpants. Come on.
You know what?

Speaker 1 It's Friday, too. If it was Sunday, maybe you'd have an argument.
It's Friday at

Speaker 1 TPC.

Speaker 6 That's not on Caleb.

Speaker 6 That's on the tournament.

Speaker 6 If you have a dress code, you have to enforce it for everyone.

Speaker 1 Stupid tournament. That's not my fault.

Speaker 1 Excitement is rising. He's saying he's walking.
Wait, I'm pausing. I'm going to count the t-shirts.
I got one.

Speaker 1 I got two.

Speaker 1 I got three t-shirts in this screen grab. There's t-shirts everywhere at this thing.
Get out of here. You guys, you golf guys are just too many rules.
Too many rules. Max played.

Speaker 1 This is all going to suck if they somehow don't draft Caleb Williams, and I spent two months just defending him just non-stop.

Speaker 6 Yeah, some franchise. That's my quarterback.
Some franchise is going to get some runoff defense from you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're definitely.

Speaker 1 I'll write a report for whoever drafts him. I'll be like, here's how you defend him against people like Jake, who are mad about.
Jordan Speech's not even wearing a golf shirt.

Speaker 6 Jordan Speech still was.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was. That would be sick, though.

Speaker 6 He's stunk today. Max played really well.
Max is in the thick back, right?

Speaker 1 Shout out our guy, Max.

Speaker 1 I'm just focused on hoops.

Speaker 1 Golf can wait.

Speaker 1 Golf has a time, and it's right after March Madness and going to Augusta. That's when golf season starts.

Speaker 1 Okay, anything else before we kick it to Andrew Santino? Awesome interview with him. And then Firefest we did record earlier in the day, so

Speaker 1 I was able to use my words.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes fire fet firefest is good this week promise okay let's kick it to ourselves give it up for chicago sebastian maniscalco's new stand-up special it ain't right is coming to hulu on november 21st 30 years ago jeff bezos complete nerd bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht and the boxes keep coming

Speaker 11 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 1 All right, we now welcome on a recurring guest. Yeah, baby.

Speaker 1 Show. It is Andrew Santino, stand-up comedian, actor.

Speaker 1 He's got a new movie out. Thesbian, thesbian, yeah, number one.

Speaker 6 Chiefs fan.

Speaker 1 You didn't do that. That's not true.
He knows that. All right.

Speaker 1 I support.

Speaker 1 I support them. You're just like best friends with Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelsey.
The best of friends. Have you asked Patrick Mahomes, like, hey,

Speaker 1 wouldn't it have been crazy if you were on the Bears? Yeah, yeah. And he goes,

Speaker 1 I just want to be on a winning team, was his response, which I thought was rude.

Speaker 1 I mean, I've always been, when people are like, oh, you can have Patrick Mahomes, it hurt for like three or four years, and then I had the realization, like, if we had Patrick Mahomes, he would have just been hit by a bus.

Speaker 1 Something bad would have happened to him. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Injury year one, probably. Crossing Michigan Ave, just been like, bus hit him.
Patrick Mahomes is dead. Yeah, that's something weird.

Speaker 1 Like, something would have fallen from the L and hit him in the head. You know what I mean? Something would have broken his neck somehow in a weird way.
We would have not gotten lucky with him either.

Speaker 1 They're good dudes, man. Happy for him.
You know, I'm a Chicago guy,

Speaker 1 Chicago sports through and through, but

Speaker 1 I support those guys because it's so much fun to watch a team win sometimes. Well, it also, it sucks.
It's just, it's hard. Yeah, you've also,

Speaker 1 we struggle with this because when you become true friends with some of these guys, like you're rooting for them because they're your friends. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I want to see them do. Also, they're not competing against me.
Right. That's like the same thing I talk about in stand-up.

Speaker 1 When someone gets mad that someone's career takes off, you know, like all this internet hype about like Matt Reif, you know, all these people mad at him. It's like, he's not taking your fans.
Right.

Speaker 1 What do you care? Like, I never understood that. It's like, this is not a competition, man.
Right. That guy's got a separate thing.
We have a separate thing. The Bears and the Chiefs have no beef.

Speaker 1 None. So it just doesn't mean anything to me.
So I like watching them succeed. I'm happy for those guys because they're legit.
They've always been cool to me.

Speaker 1 So I like them i do i wish the bears were better yeah yeah yeah i wish we got our shit together yeah and could do something yeah might might be next year caleb williams yeah this is big i think caleb williams is the man i do too but i don't know if this is just like a crush just like everything else where i'm like don't care i know i'll just fall i'm gonna do it again i did it with fields i did it with fields i'm gonna do it again i did it with mitch this is just

Speaker 6 like relationships where you're like she she's great dude flawless all her all your friends are like i don't know man what's it with caleb it's like i i think a lot of people want to find reasons to hate him but recently his interviews he's been doing, he seems like just a good dude.

Speaker 1 I don't see any reason to hate the dude. I mean, I just think he, you know, you're going to get when you're the top, you're going to, everyone wants to shoot at you.

Speaker 1 So everyone's going to want to criticize everything. So that comes with the territory.
But I'm a fan.

Speaker 1 I'm in on the dude. I think he's the man.
Here's the thing, too, is that I explain it when everyone's like, what if Caleb Williams sucks? Like, what do you mean? I'll just be back to where

Speaker 1 everywhere. Yeah, it's like getting into a warm bath.

Speaker 1 I know the feeling. It's fine.
It's like a new stepdad coming in. You're like,

Speaker 1 maybe this one doesn't suck. I don't know, dude.
We'll find out. And what if he does suck? We'll just get another one.
Find.

Speaker 1 We'll just reset the clock. Another bill coming through the house.
Yeah, no,

Speaker 1 I think he could be a great answer. So we'll find out.
I mean,

Speaker 1 I'm still rooting for the Bulls right now, too.

Speaker 1 I'm still on our Bulls train. Oh, shit.
I still love him, dude. That's, yeah.

Speaker 6 Wait, so have you met Taylor Swift?

Speaker 1 No. You're not that close of friends? No, I just don't impose.
Yeah. It always is tough to be in like,

Speaker 1 I want to hang out with them. I don't really, I mean, this sounds rude.
It's just I don't care. I don't know how to say that without sounding mean.
It's just like Travis came out to LA a week ago.

Speaker 1 We played golf. And I don't know.
It's like old school with me. It feels like when we first met.
Right. Like it's the same guy.
Right. Which is the only thing I ever cared about.

Speaker 1 When people become super famous or super successful or something big happens. The same thing with Gillis.
Like I've known Shane for a minute and I love, I'm so proud for his success. Right.

Speaker 1 And he's the same cat. Right.
That's, to me, that's all that matters. Yeah.

Speaker 1 If you're the same guy, you know, you don't compromise the people that you really still, you know, have a relationship with from the past. That's all.
That's all that matters.

Speaker 1 And Travis is the same way. It just, I'm not going to be like, hey, can I...

Speaker 1 Come to the game and sit in. I don't want to do that shit.
Yeah. I have no business doing that.
The big question is, how quickly did you hit them up after they won the Super Bowl?

Speaker 1 I'm trying to think of a real answer and a comedy comedy answer at the same time. Okay.

Speaker 1 I actually think I hit them like three days later. Two or three days later.
That's a good time.

Speaker 1 I think like a half week is an appropriate congratulation. It's like before the parade?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's probably that probably. Yeah.
I think three days is probably what it was.

Speaker 1 You can actually look. It's like seven days for a bad loss, is what I always go off with.
Funny, dude. I don't do bad losses.
I don't say anything. Really? Never.
No way. Nothing.

Speaker 1 I don't want to even acknowledge it happen. I'll wait a week and just be like, hey, sorry, man.
No, see, like, it's like

Speaker 1 my buddy runs, a good buddy of mine runs Steph Curry's Entertainment Company. Um, he runs like their, their television and film division.
And he's got two little boys.

Speaker 1 They're like my little, like, you know, my godsons, you know. And they were like, we got it, we're going to go watch Steph play when they come to L.A.
And I said, oh, this is going to be great.

Speaker 1 So we're up in the box, and the Warriors lose.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 one of the sons was like, Is Steph going to come say hi?

Speaker 1 And his dad was like, I don't think so, buddy. Yeah.
He's like, can we go say say hi to him? He's like, I don't think so, buddy. Yeah.
I think we're going to, I think we'll talk to Steph another time.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Do you go to Chiefs games?

Speaker 1 I've been to a few, yeah.

Speaker 6 The playoff one this year seemed like it would have been a crazy scene to be.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've been to a few. I just, I went to, um, Arrowhead's awesome.
I went to, we were in Denver, and I took my wife's family to a game, and Pat was nice enough to set us up in his box

Speaker 1 with his family. And it's the first time my wife's parents have ever been in like a suite or anything.
It was just to like see him, they're so excited was awesome.

Speaker 1 They were like super so stoked about it, and I don't know, it was a nice little family moment, but uh,

Speaker 1 we watched them play the Broncos and then

Speaker 1 one more game, and that's all I, but over the years, I've gone to a few games. That is the best, though, like, having like other people get to share in like the cool perks.
Yeah, it is good.

Speaker 1 It's like it's like to, you know, it's like you take kids to Disneyland, and you see, it's like you see the parents smiling because they're watching the kids.

Speaker 1 It's like they're living through them again. It's so cool.
But when adults are there alone without kids,

Speaker 1 no bueno. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Dude, I have a hard, steadfast ruler. I don't get that thing.
The Disney adults? It's weird. Dude, I live in California.
I live in Southern California when I see all these people that have

Speaker 1 yearly passes. And I'm like, you guys have kids? Yeah.
And they're like, no. And I'm like, okay.
Yeah. I don't think we can talk anymore.

Speaker 1 Isn't there like a Pleasantville neighborhood in like Florida that like they built like a Disney community?

Speaker 6 Just for Disney adults? I haven't heard about that, but it wouldn't shock me because the Disney adults are real freaky.

Speaker 1 I'm pretty sure there is.

Speaker 1 It scares me.

Speaker 6 They care so much about Disney World too. They'll like write detailed reviews.
Who's that one guy? That one dude, there was a columnist that wrote an article about how,

Speaker 6 what was the one that they changed? Was it Splash Mountain? They changed it because it had some like racist shit from the South in there. Yeah.

Speaker 6 So they changed some of the characters, and this guy wrote this long op-ed piece about how it ruined the immersive experience that he loves as a Disney adult.

Speaker 6 And the picture of the guy was this big, fat, like 350-pound guy wearing a Hawaiian shirt. The prototypical like Disney adult.
But I do love the fact that, like, any

Speaker 6 like tentpole cultural phenomenon like Disney World or whether it's like a big, massive show, you get people that are the biggest nerds that care about it so much, but they actually end up protecting whatever that piece of art is.

Speaker 6 Sure. So, like, they're the watchful guardians of Disney World, making sure that it remains pure and fair.

Speaker 1 Well, it's like they would say the same, and to give them credit for Devil's Advocate, they say the same thing about you guys in this world. Right.
You're Disney nerds for sports. That's true.

Speaker 1 No, No, every time. It's the same thing.
It's fair. Every time I'm like, oh, the Swifties are psychos, and I'm like, wait, I do that literally every Sunday.

Speaker 1 My happiness is dependent on another group of guys. Except my thing is made for grown-ups, and Disney is made just for children.
That's true. Sports are made for adults, right?

Speaker 1 Kids can love them, but... Entertainment on that high level of professional sports, that's for adults to enjoy.
For kids to be there, too. Yeah, you're making me feel better.
Yeah. Kind of.

Speaker 6 Yeah, but also, like, sports are also made for kids. And so, like, when I get worked up, if they change a mascot, I'm like, what the fuck? Bring back the old

Speaker 6 piggly mascot. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, because what? The like the commander?

Speaker 6 Like the commanders, they change their name every couple years. I'm like, this new name sucks.
Bring back, you know, bring back the Redskins. I miss that.

Speaker 1 I think we're going to go full loop in society. We're going to go back to, it'll be even more racist than the Redskins.
Yeah. Somehow they'll find a way.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 We've gone so far away, we'll just loop right back. I don't know.
Chief Wahoo, the Indians logo, like that one lasted for a a very long time. Because he was awesome.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you saw it, you're just like, oh, yeah. When someone pointed out, you're like, oh, yeah, I guess.
Yeah, it was embarrassing. I guess that is true.
Yeah, but you know what? I think

Speaker 1 it's like our teams. It's like Blackhawks.

Speaker 1 They've got the okay to keep being Blackhawks. The Illini got the OK.
Yeah. I think if you get the okay, then no one, it doesn't really matter what anybody says.

Speaker 1 Obviously, they didn't, Cleveland didn't want to fight hard enough to keep Wahoo their guy. Yeah.
And that's on them. That's a reflection of the city.

Speaker 1 You've got to fight. Bad sports town.
Yeah, dude. What can I say?

Speaker 1 That's on you guys, man.

Speaker 1 All right, so you're in a new movie, too. I am.

Speaker 1 We're the number one movie on Amazon Prime Video. I kept trolling when we were doing press

Speaker 1 because they don't want you to say Amazon. They just wanted you to say Prime Video.
Okay.

Speaker 1 But I would constantly be like, when we were doing foreign press, I was just talking to, I would talk about my relationship with Bezos and all that stuff.

Speaker 1 And you could tell the PR people were like, please don't do that. Please stop doing that.
Because I was like, I'll call them now.

Speaker 1 I'll ring up the B right now.

Speaker 1 But no, yeah, it's on Prime Video. It's me, John Cena, Zach Efron, Jermaine Fowler.
Me, Efron, and Jermaine Fowler play best friends as, you know, like childhood best friends.

Speaker 1 And we cause trouble as kids like we do, you know, when you break stuff, light stuff on fire, ruin stuff. And then we use an alibi.
We make up a name, Ricky Stanicky. That's the name of the movie.

Speaker 1 And then we've used him as an alibi our whole life to get out of shit, to go to World Series games, to go golf trips. And finally, our wives and girlfriends are like, where is this guy? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Who is this? So we have to hire an actor, John Cena, to play this fake character. Oh, I like it.
It's cool. Zach Evron's a man.
Yeah, he's a good dude, man. Everybody on it was cool.

Speaker 1 It was actually like an easy shoot we shot in Melbourne, Australia.

Speaker 1 And Pete Fairley directed it, the guy that did Dumb and Dumber something about Mary.

Speaker 1 How long were you there for? This is about two months, I think. Oh, wow.
And then my mom, my family came out, which was rad because I was like, I want, you know, when are we ever going to be back?

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I took them down there and we traveled around a little bit. And I had a blast.

Speaker 1 The movie's fun, man. It's cool.
So do you think that you're inching towards maybe being like the lead role in a big movie? No, that would be big for gingers. Not if I still have red hair.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 Would you dye your hair?

Speaker 1 You'd be up there with like Andy Dalton, like just the king of. He's pretty good looking.
Yeah. I mean, you know, I just think they're never going to make a ginger a lead.

Speaker 1 You know, like even when I see people buy our merch, me and Bobby Lee's, you know, our podcast, like when people buy our merch and they have my face on there, I'm still like, they're not going to wear that outside, though, right?

Speaker 1 Because my head's on it. This is an orange head on it.
You know what I mean? I always get self-conscious that I'm like, they don't want to wear my shit with my head on it.

Speaker 1 Orange guys, something about orange men, they just,

Speaker 1 it's hard to lead a movie. Yeah, but I feel like

Speaker 1 you might be the guy. They can highly doubt it.

Speaker 6 An all-ginger cast. Yeah.
Like Willow, except for ginger.

Speaker 1 Disgusting, dude. Who wants to watch that?

Speaker 1 Has anyone in Hollywood been like, listen, you're very talented, but like, there's a, there's a ceiling to what you got because of.

Speaker 1 I think I had somebody tell me one time that they tested me on a pilot and they asked about toning down my hair.

Speaker 1 Because they were like, it's just way too much. Just nerf it.
But it is dude on camera. When you see, right, when you go like watch these movies, it's memorable.
I'm so bright.

Speaker 1 It's like I'm the brightest dude in the room. It makes you stand out.
Yeah, but that's bad, dude.

Speaker 1 You want to blend in a little bit something, especially if, like, imagine if I'm doing like a murder scene or a death scene and the orange bobblehead comes in. Who did it?

Speaker 1 No, I think I'm just going to continue where I'm at right now and keep making stuff.

Speaker 1 I don't really have the drive to be. I don't need like the star of the film.
Right. Also, that's kind of dead.
Yeah, it is. Movie stars are gone, man.
It's basically just Tom Tom Cruise. That's it.

Speaker 1 I'm working on something right now that is a...

Speaker 1 like a buddy comedy thing like that I can do you know like a duo thing that I'm totally into right but like a single, the movie's about me type of shit? No way, dude.

Speaker 1 I don't want, I don't even want that, really. I want it now.
You do? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Dude, ever since you guys left and came to Chicago, it's just, you really need that fame bumping, right? No, for you. No, I want it for you.
I thought he said for you. No, I want it for you.

Speaker 1 I want it for, I want it for the ginger community.

Speaker 1 I want to be like, hey, yeah, we know Santino, friend of ours. He is like the king of an entire generation.
Yeah. If Bill Burr can't do it, I don't think I've got a shot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, although he did, you're right, because he did, like, once he shaved his head, he started to get more roles. That's right, dude.
You got to shave your head.

Speaker 1 Then he gets old dads and all this stuff. Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 6 They're like, Centime, we want you as the star of a romantic comedy, and we're going to pay you $40 million, but we want you to dye your hair. Let me stop you right there.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You had me at $40 million. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Cut your head off. Yeah, whatever you want.
I'll lose a limb for $40 million.

Speaker 1 Bill called me like

Speaker 1 a couple months ago. I don't even know how long ago it was.
But it's a very, it was like a very Burr phone call because he was like, I picked up him. I'm like, hey, man, what's up?

Speaker 1 He goes, hey, how old are you? Didn't even say hi, nothing. How old are you? I go, um, I'm, I was 39 at the time.
So it was right before it was right before my birthday.

Speaker 1 It was actually months ago now. Because I said, 39, I'll be 40 in October.
And he goes, 40?

Speaker 1 You could play my son?

Speaker 1 And I was like, I think so. And he goes, okay.
And then he hangs up. There was no,

Speaker 1 it was straight up just like, I need this information. I don't want to chit-chat.
That's all I need to know.

Speaker 6 I don't want to look it up online.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so I think he, he, we, he's joked about it before in the past. It would be rad if we did something where he played like an older brother or something.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I was like, that we could do a two-hander with that, I would probably be able to get away with in Hollywood as leads. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 And then you'd have to have the love interest and all that stuff be actually attractive people to stare at. Yeah.
He's the best on the phone.

Speaker 1 He calls me like maybe twice a year just to bitch about like a play in a football game. Yeah.
And I'm like, well, once I was like, why are you calling me?

Speaker 1 He's like, none of my friends are watching this game. I know you are.

Speaker 1 He'll just be like, I literally would pick up and he'll just be like, I fucking hate when cornerbacks, the ball's thrown 10 yards out there and they're doing a celebration.

Speaker 1 And then it would just be like, that'll be it. Yeah.
He's like, all right, cool. He's good at,

Speaker 1 he's,

Speaker 1 I love Bill. He's just, he's an interesting creature, man.
He's like his own, he's like his own little enigma, and he's kind of like a guy I can't put my finger on. I don't really know how he moves.

Speaker 1 You know, like, when I see him, it's always good to see him, but I don't know if it's, it's always good to see me. Yeah.
You don't have anything. Yeah, he keeps you on your toes.
Yeah, he does. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Always. But that's what makes him kind of brilliant.
Yeah. I mean, I think he also is just such a busy, consumed dude.
You know what I mean? That he's like,

Speaker 1 he's doing something. Right.

Speaker 6 I love his podcast, though. His podcast is,

Speaker 6 it's very hard to do what he does. Yeah.
Which is just sit down and just scream into a bunch of stuff. Just ramble like an hour and a half.

Speaker 1 Dude, guys like us, we need someone else. You know what I mean? Like, I need someone else to bounce with.
I don't want to just talk alone.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I'd lose myself.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 He's like the definition of dudes will literally start a podcast and say, go into therapy.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 6 Like, I'm just going I'm going to use all of America as my therapist. But it's great.

Speaker 1 Because he'll make himself laugh and he'll stop. And it'll just be like, you're just, you're just in a room by yourself right now.
And it fucking rocks. I think

Speaker 1 that's his writing, too. I bet you that's kind of got to be his process for writing and creating, I would imagine, is talking it out, talking it out, talking it out, and then putting it down on paper.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That seems like his rhythm anyway, because he's not a guy who's going to like...

Speaker 1 have a crew of writers. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like there's a lot of famous guys that we know that have teams of writers or they have a clique of dudes that are always kind of around taking notes, writing, and there's nothing wrong with it, whatever your process is.

Speaker 1 But I feel like he is such a

Speaker 1 lone eagle. He's like out doing his thing and then that's how he kind of probably puts shit together.
So about that writing, you had a great special on Netflix Cheeseburger

Speaker 1 in the fall.

Speaker 1 It was awesome. Everyone should go watch it.
When you finish a special, is there a little bit of like, are you like, all right, I was done with that material?

Speaker 1 Or is there a feeling like, fuck, fuck, now I got to go back and I got to reinvent an entire hour? Yeah, you do. I mean, you have to throw that away.

Speaker 1 I mean, there's no rules to it, but like we all kind of adhere to the same thing. I mean, it's an unwritten, we just, you dump it.
Right. It's kind of like, not everyone.

Speaker 1 There's dudes that still do their stuff, and that's whatever you want to do. I mean, there's no rule to it, but

Speaker 1 culturally, I think most stand-ups throw it away, start on a new hour,

Speaker 1 and you slowly piece it together. Like, now I'm doing

Speaker 1 at the end of the month, I start Houston, and I'm doing just clubs. I'm going to get away from theaters for six dates, six, seven dates, just to massage this new hour that I've got.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Before I go into theaters in the fall or anything like that. So I'm doing six, just six cities, just trying to feel it out.
Totally different markets. It's like Houston, Tampa, San Francisco.

Speaker 1 I just want like the polar opposite market. I was talking to my agent.
I was like, put me in places where I'm not going to get the exact same crowd every time. Right.

Speaker 1 So these were kind of the best that we came up with to be like, I want different cultural, socioeconomic vibes, different parts of cities.

Speaker 1 so yeah like I just think about it and like if I ever if I had if I was a comedian I did it a like sick hour and put out a special I'd be like I don't want to do it again like everyone watched that forever yeah remember when I was that remember when I put that out it was done yeah I did it it was so awesome you want to be done but also uh

Speaker 1 it's hard starting again you'll you'll have like little nuggets of stuff and then you start to massage those and then you slowly but surely peel chunks from that and that but it's daunting there's tons of moments in between where you're it sucks.

Speaker 1 It sucks, dude. It's got to be in my mind how like if an athlete is injured and they're training again, because they know they're better than what's happening.
Right.

Speaker 1 They're like, dude, I'm so much better than this. I don't know why I can't put it together because it's just the restrictiveness is there.

Speaker 1 So then slowly but surely after time, you're like, okay, great. Now I've got 15.
Great. Now I've got 25.
Now I've got 30 that I like. And you shave down and add and then

Speaker 1 it's a great process. I think the beginning is the most painful when you're building, but also when it starts to click, ugh.

Speaker 1 Well, when they're still new to us, when they're new to you, they're phenomenal. And you get that pop.

Speaker 6 Do you try to have like a theme for your new stand-up when you're working on it?

Speaker 6 Is there like one thing that you think about and you're like, I'm going to build my set around this one topic?

Speaker 1 I think it happens kind of organically. But like, uh, this one's going to be all about Hamas.
No, I'm kidding.

Speaker 1 No, this one's uh this one, honestly, is probably going to be a lot about um

Speaker 1 health, my health and

Speaker 1 my stuff that's going on with me.

Speaker 1 I'm just having such a weird chunk of time in my life where

Speaker 1 people in my family who got sick or stuff that happened to people I know and then

Speaker 1 I had this weird herniated disc that led to this MRI that showed this

Speaker 1 hip impingement and all this other shit that was going on. And I had to go through all, and then I had to get, my heart murmur was messing up, and then I had to go get on medication.

Speaker 1 It was like everything happened at once. It's like I was cruising along and then everything happened once.
And then so I put away booze. I put away, you know, certain foods for a little while.

Speaker 1 I'm back on the booze. This is scaring me because we're the same age.

Speaker 6 Well, it's like

Speaker 6 40.

Speaker 1 We're both 39. You hit it.
You happened out of nowhere, man. Fuck.

Speaker 6 Your late 30s happened and then you just accumulate injuries for the rest of your life.

Speaker 6 It's like you wake up one day, your knee hurts, and you're like, well, I guess my knee's going to hurt until I die. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, I feel like we just golfed on the sim a little bit and I'm, my back is killing me. I was like, that shouldn't have done that.
Why am I doing this? I didn't stretch.

Speaker 1 Because when I play golf, I stretch a lot. I get ready for it.
This was dumb. This was me sitting on planes, coming here, and then that was the dumbest thing I've ever done.

Speaker 1 But you do get, yeah, your body starts to slowly tell you this is no good anymore. You don't really get to do this anymore.

Speaker 6 But you have a good swing, though.

Speaker 1 It's okay. It's not bad.

Speaker 1 I've been playing some good golf. I like that people go sometimes online, they find my handicap, and then they just get online and talk shit.
What's your handicap? I'm a.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you what I am. See, you know, this is when everyone says what their handicap is, get the Gin out.
Give me the app. Yeah.
Give me the app. Whenever someone.
I'm a 2-2 index.

Speaker 1 So that's pretty good. That's pretty damn good.
2-2 is pretty good. Yeah, I'm all right.
But it's like people talk shit online. They love to talk shit.
Oh, that's all golf.

Speaker 1 Golf is the worst talk shit because it's impossible to prove it because you're like, when am I going to play, you guy in West Virginia? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You come to my club. I'll bet a grand straight up at it.
You're like, dude, get out. I'm not playing some lunatic from the internet.

Speaker 1 We got a guy here, Riggs, who four-play podcasts and they do great golf stuff, but he started a series where he's just calling calling out haters and he's golfing with them. Smart.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's just, that's the movie. I wanted to do, I actually thought because of all that nonsense, I thought about

Speaker 1 creating kind of like a charity event where it's like, come play guys that you talk shit about, and the money that we earn from it will be donated to a charity of my choice. I like that.

Speaker 1 That, for me, was a way to justify doing any of that dance, like putting up with their bullshit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So film it, have a crew of celebrities who golf, take on dickheads that just want to play them, and then donate all that money to charity.

Speaker 6 It's a charity that the guy hates.

Speaker 1 100%. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Like something that he's really not going to want to get.

Speaker 1 Something he's going to get, like kid cancer. Something that guy really, he really wants cancer to win every time.

Speaker 1 That's how we'll propose it. Yeah.
So if you're a fair fighter. Right.
Yeah. No, we've talked.
I just started talking about it not too long ago because I'm doing this.

Speaker 1 You know, I can talk about it a little bit, but I'm in the middle of negotiating with Liv

Speaker 1 to go do start a network with them. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you were out there. We missed you when you were.
We won, dude. I won the pro anime.
You did? Yeah, we won it. Me, Pat Perez, Eugenio Chikara

Speaker 1 was the two. You do one pro on nine and the other pro on the back nine.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then Titus O'Neill, who's

Speaker 1 an ex-wrestler.

Speaker 1 And then I'm drawing a big blank. You won the whole thing? Yeah, we won.
We got the plaque sent to us not too long ago. I'm pretty proud it's in my office.

Speaker 6 Were you a little bit nervous? Because we played in that same, but it wasn't on Pro-Am Day, right? It was like before the Pro-Am Day.

Speaker 1 You guys played the day before. Yeah, day before.
Yes, that's right.

Speaker 6 There was a scramble, all of us, against Brooks Kepka, which was

Speaker 1 thanks for the invite on that. I would have rathered that, but that's all right.
You can come next time. I want you.
They're going to do another one here. I love that, dude.

Speaker 1 I think they're in here in September.

Speaker 6 But we were nervous because we all kind of stink at golf, and we thought we were playing the pro-am day, and we thought there would be people that would be lined up for shots.

Speaker 6 We were actually thinking we were going to kill somebody because they stand really close to us. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 6 Were you nervous at all?

Speaker 1 Not really. I mean, not really.
Honestly, it's also you're with pros, so.

Speaker 1 Ironically enough, it takes the heat off of you. It's like it takes the, you don't feel pressure.
I felt pressure on the the first tee. Then after that, I didn't even think about it.

Speaker 1 Because the pros are doing their thing, and you're really watching the pro. It's almost like you're just getting to hang with them.
Yeah. And if you did hit a bad shot, nobody gives a shit.

Speaker 1 No one's thinking about it. You're really just, everyone's just watching what the pro is doing.

Speaker 6 I wasn't worried about hitting like a bad shot. I was worried about hitting a shot that would kill someone.

Speaker 1 Yeah, kill someone.

Speaker 6 Like shank it so bad that it goes to the side. What are you going to do? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? It happens. People do get hit by, don't stand there.
Yeah. Yeah, especially when an amateur is going.
Yeah, that's your fault.

Speaker 1 Have you seen that clip of that girl online that that woman, she hits a girl off the T and she tees it up again and she hits it to the exact same spot. Little Kid is like, make it stop.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's why, like, we went to Riv. I just went and was following Homa around Riv when he was out there.

Speaker 1 And it is funny how people lean their heads over

Speaker 1 the T-box. They'll lean their heads over the rope, literally.
And I was watching this guy do it, and I thought, well, I'm not going to stop him. And Homa's not going to hit him.

Speaker 1 But how annoying is some dummy's head right in your sight line? He's leaning over the rope. That's why they have to put the rope.

Speaker 1 If they didn't put ropes, those savages would like hug them while they're swinging. Yeah.
We got a very important question about this. Yeah.
You're walking with Max Homa the whole time. Not all of it.

Speaker 1 I did walk nine. Some of it.
Yeah. Did anyone call him a pervert? No.
Okay. Why? Is that how we had a problem? We started, Max is a good friend of ours.

Speaker 1 We started calling him a pervert on this podcast.

Speaker 6 Because he's Italian. He's Italian.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then all of our listeners started calling him a pervert on the golf course.
And then we had a moment where Max was like, hey, it's not really me, but my caddy is so sick of it.

Speaker 1 Like, can you tell everyone to please stop? So we had to do like,

Speaker 1 we had to make an order. Like, if you do it, you're a scumbag.
So it's good to know that it's actually worked. No one did it at real time.
Because it got really bad for a while. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, he was like, he would be in a big tournament and people would be like, what's up, Max? You pervert? It was more like, I don't think you'd want to say anything to him.

Speaker 1 He was not giving me the what's-ups at all because I think he was having a tougher day.

Speaker 1 I don't think you'd want to check him on that day. He looked

Speaker 1 pretty pissy.

Speaker 1 He wasn't doing any of

Speaker 1 the niceties.

Speaker 1 He was not in a good mood. That's the worst part about golf.
Even the professionals, they go out there and they have a day and they're just like, what's going on?

Speaker 1 And they see you staring at them and it's got to be annoying.

Speaker 1 Golf's got to be shit too in the regard where

Speaker 1 if you're the guy, if you're like the guy, and

Speaker 1 the other dude you're playing with, he just knows that everyone's watching you and doesn't, you know, are watching him and not looking at your shit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That always messes with my head where you're like, this poor dude,

Speaker 1 it's like no attention given to him. He makes a good putt.
No one cares. Right.
That sucks to me.

Speaker 1 They're only watching the other dude. Yeah.

Speaker 6 To me, the funniest guys at a golf tournament are the ones that, well, first of all, they wear spikes if you go to like watch a, like watch your favorite golfer player.

Speaker 6 You're like, I'm going to put my shoes on so I get good traction on this course.

Speaker 6 And then if there's a ball that goes slightly off the fairway, seeing everybody like sprint to that ball to get a good spot to watch the next swing. swing.

Speaker 6 It's so funny watching these grown men just sprint down a golf course. Just to get as close.

Speaker 1 And the cop has to push them physically away to be like, dude, chill out. Please.
Chill out.

Speaker 1 He needs to hit. It's more annoying to me when someone is hogging their space and their phone is right in their fucking face.
I hate that, dude. What are you doing with that footage?

Speaker 6 What are you going to do? Breaking down the swing. So then you can post it on and be like, hey, I noticed you dropped your hands a little bit too early.

Speaker 1 It's like being at a concert. When people have their phone out at a concert, it's like a concert video is the worst footage ever.

Speaker 1 It's going to sound like

Speaker 1 it sounds terrible, and you watch it back, and you're like, why did I do this?

Speaker 6 You're taking it to post online to be like, look where I was. Yeah.
So other people can see where you're. I get it.

Speaker 1 Take ush picture. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Put your phone away. Yeah.
Like, I never got that. I just didn't enjoy it.
I'm not above it. You're with your kid.
Take a photo video. That's cool.

Speaker 1 But there's adult men that are there all day with it recording all day long. Shame on the bus.
If you're going to do that, just get a GoPro on your head. That's cooler.
Seriously. To me, it's cooler.

Speaker 1 Way cooler. If you got a head and the the body,

Speaker 1 or the camera that's up that looks up at people, so it's like just their nose is all you see. Yeah, it's all fucked up.

Speaker 1 I'm cool with if you're trying to do something unique with it, but it's just the same dude on his phone following guys all day. I think it's creepy shit.

Speaker 6 Yeah. So you can go home and you put on your Apple Vision Pro and then you get to relive.
You get to live the day again on your couch.

Speaker 1 Man, I'll tell you what.

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Speaker 1 Have you guys done the Apple Vision Pro? I actually have it right here.

Speaker 6 I'm going to take it back.

Speaker 1 Oh, you hate it?

Speaker 6 I don't necessarily hate it, but I'm going to take it back because it's like the most anti-social thing that you can do.

Speaker 6 So, when you wear it, you're like in your own world, you're on your couch, your family, everybody around you is like,

Speaker 6 What are you doing? Yeah, we just watch TV together. Like, it puts you, it's very cool.

Speaker 6 There's some cool stuff that you can do on it, but I also feel like it's like probably two years ahead of its time where there's not enough stuff to do.

Speaker 6 Sure, you can watch like the same four videos of but the tech is looks amazing.

Speaker 1 I had an I somebody gave me somebody, O'Connor, uh, who opened for Gillis, he bought me

Speaker 1 an Oculus, the original Oculus.

Speaker 1 And I loved it because it was the beginning of the pandemic and we played golf together because he was in New York and I was in L.A. So we'd get on at night.

Speaker 1 I'd tell my wife, I'd be like, I'm going to go, I'm going to play golf in the front room. And she'd be like, oh, God.

Speaker 6 Exactly.

Speaker 1 So she would take videos of me like an idiot yelling and laughing into my Oculus, playing golf with those guys. But after that wore out, I was over it fast.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was like, ah, dude, I don't know anymore. It's just, it's a little like distract.
It's just, I don't need it. Yeah.
I got over it.

Speaker 6 There's nothing that this does so much better than like my computer or my phone. I already have enough screens in my life.

Speaker 1 But you watch porn on it, though. No, you can't watch porn.

Speaker 6 That's the thing.

Speaker 1 Throw that thing in the trash. Yeah.
What is that worth? Because it is the ultimate porn guy thing. Yeah, that's what that's for.
That's the first thing I did in the Oculus.

Speaker 1 Literally, the first thing was like, I want to see what it looks like. So I got one of the videos, the 3D videos or whatever, all immersive.
And amazing.

Speaker 1 Then the second or third time, completely over it. Right.
Completely annoyed. Then you start to get really like picky about the details.
You're like, that looks so stupid.

Speaker 1 She looks like her shoulder looks massive because the angles are so weird. Yeah.
So you get over it. It just doesn't, I don't know.
And then you do it.

Speaker 6 You imagine yourself wearing the oculus in a room, just like jacking off with this big helmet on. You're like, this is sad.

Speaker 1 Well, I would take videos of myself and watch it back later, jerking off of the Oculus on me. You have to.
Watch your game tape. I've been taking my form.
Yeah, I just wanted to see my form, dude.

Speaker 1 Y'all 22? You got to get shallow on that stroke, dude.

Speaker 1 What's the dumbest thing you've bought now that you have some money? I don't know that much. It's a couple bucks.
The dumbest thing I probably bought in the recent years was,

Speaker 1 well, these were dumb. This was a stupid.
I bought these in New York. I got suckered into buying these Travis Scott shoes.
How much are they? I don't even know.

Speaker 1 They were expensive as shit. They were more than they should be.

Speaker 1 Every guy, I feel like, goes through an expensive shoe phase, and they're just like, why did I do that? I like shoes. I like shoes.
I do, too. But I didn't mean to want.
This is how dumb I am.

Speaker 1 I have the Travis Scott golf shoes of these. Like they make them in golf shoes, these ones.
And I love the ones. That's my favorite shoe to walk in.

Speaker 1 And I was like, oh, well,

Speaker 1 I want to get the regular ones that aren't the golf shoes. And then so I saw the ones that I have that aren't golf shoes.
They're street shoes.

Speaker 1 And then the guy was like, yo, you know what's really dope is these black ones. And he was chatting with me and he was a fan and he was cool.
So I kind of got, you know. I got like enamored with

Speaker 1 the conversation. And then he took me up to the front desk And I think they were like, I don't even know, 700 bucks or something absurd.
That's crazy. It's so dumb.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like when I say expensive shoes, I would buy like $400 shoes. I'd be like, why? I'm not even wearing them.
This is the dumbest thing I've bought in a long time. This is probably, so I'm.

Speaker 1 You look good, though. Well, I'm wearing them every day now because I'm like, I'm getting my work done.
That's the thing.

Speaker 1 It's like, I have all these shoes, and then I found out I would just wear the same shoes every day. I'd wear the same comfortable pairs every day.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just look at the other ones and be like, I'm going to wear them because I paid too much for them. So this is the, I haven't done something this dumb in a long time, overpaid for something so stupid.

Speaker 1 But I felt like if I didn't buy them, I would look lame in front of this cool dude. Yeah, you know what I mean? It's like, oh, it reverted right back to like junior high, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Where it's like, well, if you don't jump, I mean, we're all jumping, but if you don't jump, it's not a big deal. And you're like, yeah, if I don't jump, I'm a bitch, dude.
I have to jump.

Speaker 6 They like tell you the price, and then you're like, no, thanks. And you take it back.
That's a bad moment. I can't do it.

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 6 That happened to me with pillows when I was in New York. I was buying pillows, right? And I get up to the cashier and she scans them, and they were like $250 pillows.

Speaker 6 And I was just like, fuck, I'm going to look like such an asshole if I just say, no, these pillows are too expensive to take. So I was like, yeah, sure, I'll buy $500 worth of pillows.
Insane.

Speaker 6 On a whim. And then the pillows sucked.
And then I had to live with them for like five years because they're $500 pillows.

Speaker 1 The pillows always suck at that price point.

Speaker 1 They can't be good. There's no way they're good.
They've boosted it up to make you feel like they might be special. Like, these are no special than the regular Jordan 1 Lowe's.
It's the same shoe.

Speaker 1 Yeah. There's literally no difference.
Yeah. It's just Travis Scott put his name on it and they're a little cooler looking.
So suckers. Oh, I'll tell you.
Actually, I'll tell you some dumb shit I did.

Speaker 1 When I was back here and we played the Chicago theater,

Speaker 1 I wanted to take my wife and get her

Speaker 1 a purse, a bag. She wanted this color of a bag.
And so we went down on Michigan Avenue. And just as a surprise, I was like, there's

Speaker 1 a color bag that you like at Gucci. And she was like, really?

Speaker 1 Seriously? And I was like, yeah. And she's like, we're not buying a Gucci purse.
I was like, it's a little bag. It's not like a crazy, it's just the color you like.
And we go in there, same shit.

Speaker 1 This is how much of a loser I am. There's this like really like smooth, suave, gay dude who's just like, you know, he was like, oh, I love your hair.
Like, look at the color.

Speaker 1 The color goes good against this. And he's showing me Gucci shirts and jackets.
And I'm like, oh, man, that's not, I don't really, I'm good on all that. I just want to get out of the purse.

Speaker 1 Then sure enough, 20 minutes goes by. He's got me buying a Gucci shirt jacket.
I've never owned anything by them. I bought this thing.
I didn't look at the, I gave him the card. We were chatting.

Speaker 1 I didn't look at the receipt and how how much it costs. We get back to the hotel immediately to my wife.
I go, I'm going back tomorrow and returning this. But here's how much of a pussy I am.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't go back to the Michigan Avenue store. No, you can't.
I went all the way out to Schomburg. Yeah, you could have that guy.
Because I'm a bitch. I'm a bitch.

Speaker 1 I went to Schomburg to return it because I felt so much weird guilt that I was like, he'll see me. He'll think I'm a loser.
Yeah, no, you can't. But I had no intention on buying it.
I got like fooled.

Speaker 1 I got like bullied into buying it. And immediately when I saw it, I think it was like five grand or something.
I don't even know. But I literally was like nervous and I felt so uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 I was like, I got to buy it. He's like almost making you buy it.
He's like putting on my shoulders. He's like, oh, my God, look at the way your shoulders sit in this.
And I was like, I got it.

Speaker 1 So I bought the jacket. Then, of course, I returned it to Schomburg.

Speaker 1 But the relief I felt when I returned it. Oh, yeah.
Oh.

Speaker 1 It felt so good seeing it come off my credit card. Yeah.
I was panicking. I was like, I'm never going to wear that anyway.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 You at least got a couple people that see those shoes and they know what's up with the shoes and they're like, hey, I like your shoes. Teenagers.
Yeah, but that's good.

Speaker 1 I've had a couple like

Speaker 1 17-year-old boys, like young dudes, are always like, yo, bro, I love those shoes. I'm like, thank you so much.

Speaker 1 I bought them on accident and I'm 40 years old. I feel like a fucking moron.
Stay young.

Speaker 1 I don't do much, though, in that regard. I won't buy too much crazy shit.

Speaker 1 So I have to ask you because you're wearing the sweatshirt. I know you were in Curb a few years ago.
You're not in the new season, are you? No, I've watched some of it.

Speaker 1 This is actually from my good buddies Malbihn, you know, the golf company. You know,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 They did a curb collab for the new season, and I was up at the preserve.

Speaker 1 I golfed at the preserve with Malbin for their Bing Crosby Adidas collab thing, and my buddy was like, hey, dude, we're putting out a curb collab, and it's pretty limited on who we're giving them to with the Larry stuff.

Speaker 1 And the first thing I was like, when I got home, I was like, if I don't get that stuff, I'll kill you. Yeah.
I want all the curb shoes. You need it.
Yeah, it's so sick. No, I did a couple seasons ago.

Speaker 1 The new one's great, though. I watched it on the plane on the way to New York.

Speaker 1 How fun was it doing when you did Curb? I mean, you made Larry break, right? Yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 That was like one of those moments of my life where,

Speaker 1 you know, it validates you as a comedian. Where you're like, that guy thought that was funny.
I'm good. I can die a happy man.
I made him break

Speaker 1 in the room, and then on set when we did it, in the room, the audition is...

Speaker 1 You just, he gives you a character, and they give you a little baby character breakdown. It's probably like, I don't know, four or five sentences.

Speaker 1 And then you take from that enough to make your own, improv your own world. And I improv the world.
I was originally going to have the role of the,

Speaker 1 it's the episode where the guy has a dog named Adolph. I don't know if you've seen that.
Yeah, the German shepherd named Adolph. And then as soon as I read the character, he loved it.

Speaker 1 And then he goes,

Speaker 1 it's not going to work. And I was like, really? I thought we were having...
Like,

Speaker 1 we were laughing. He goes, yeah, yeah, no, dude, you don't look.

Speaker 1 You don't look the part at all. It's the ginger thing.
He's like, you don't look like a Nazi kind of guy. He's like, I wanted to make him a little bit look with that blonde hair-eyed thing.

Speaker 1 He's like, it's just not going to work. The ginger thing isn't going to play.
And I was bummed. And then he was like, no, no, no, we're going to get something else.

Speaker 1 So then he made me go back in the hallway and read for

Speaker 1 the plumber who fixes the toilet at Latte, you know, Latte Larry's. Yeah.
And I came back in after like 15 minutes and we just riffed and he broke a few times and it just like my heart grew for him.

Speaker 1 That's incredible. Yeah, it was like a comedy.

Speaker 1 On the way home, I vividly remember pulling out of his studio driving and i call my wife and i was like i've only done this maybe twice to her been like i'm so sure that i got this if i don't i have i have no idea about my career right because it went so well he was like we were humming that it'd be like i don't know how he wouldn't want to give this to me yeah there was nothing it was flawless it was like the rhythm was great he was bouncing i was listening i wasn't stepping on his you know stepping on his uh retorts or improv So I was like, it was so smooth.

Speaker 1 And of course, you know, that afternoon they called. They were like, okay, they want you in like three days.
That's incredible.

Speaker 1 It was was huge man and i would assume that you were a big fan of the show massive as you were coming up and now you're on the show yeah i mean he's i think he's you know i'm not you know i don't know how to say this without sounding like a dick but like i'm a much bigger fan of him than seinfeld like i i think his line of what what seinfeld was was that's why curb was so great yeah right it was like the version of seinfeld that i wanted more was that right more so than the other thing that that that jerry did and you know he's great but it's like larry's seinfeld is what curb is and that's what i always wanted it to be.

Speaker 1 Is it true that he just doesn't like Kerb? I feel like maybe I read this somewhere, but like he'll just decide, like, oh, I'm ready to do a new season, like, out of the whim. He took breaks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was allowed to do whatever he wanted. I mean, obviously, he's a legend, so why would they say no?

Speaker 1 What executive in their right mind would be like, I don't think we're going to be able to do it anymore? It's like, especially because HBO,

Speaker 1 you know, that's kind of like, it's like this. This is like fantasy land.
It's like you're making what you love. Yeah.
And they get to decide.

Speaker 1 They're not answering as much to corporate sponsors like ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox. They've got sponsors.

Speaker 1 HBO, they can kind of do as they please.

Speaker 1 So I think they were more apt to let him fly free. I don't know personally, but I imagine he just would get busy and tired and be like, I'm not ready to put something out.
It's rad, dude.

Speaker 1 That's the dream.

Speaker 1 That's what we all want: is like to be able to go, I'm not going to give you something unless I really want to give it to you. Otherwise, it's going to be shit.
Right.

Speaker 1 And then you're all going to be bummed. Yeah.
You don't want to pump it out. You know, so the take a break thing is cool.

Speaker 1 I think more TV should either take, you know, should either just do a limited amount of seasons or just take a break and maybe revisit it or, you know, who knows? Whatever.

Speaker 1 Not too long of a break, though, because there's some shows where they take such a long break, I forget they exist. Like, I forgot there's a new Game of Thrones.
Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 6 Like some of that.

Speaker 1 It's like that combination. How am I going to know?

Speaker 1 That's tough. Well, that also takes so long to shoot those shows.
That's the other problem.

Speaker 1 Well, that'll be replaced by AI. They'll replace all of us and it'll be all AI anyway.
Yeah, wait, were you on strike? Yeah, I mean, we all, yeah, you don't, yeah. Were you picketing? No, dude.
No.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 I'm not even ashamed of the sun with you. Yeah, I can't be outside.
Yeah, that's actually fair. You're probably the one guy in the union who's like, look, I'm not coming.
Me, poning.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're like, all right, that makes sense. I put sunscreen on when it rains.
I swear to God, I'm like, dude, it might, you never know if it pokes through.

Speaker 1 No, I didn't go out and picket the thing. I, I, you know, not to sound like a dick, I just, I was like, I'm, I voted to strike.
Right. I did the thing.
Right. I wanted to, yeah.
Let's, I said yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't want to go out there every day. I just didn't feel like I was, it was necessary for me to be out there every day.
It was crazy. The story about them cutting all those trees in the shade.

Speaker 1 So funny, by the way. Yeah.
Heavy props to how funny that was. Yeah.
They cut the trees so the picketers couldn't get shade every day. I thought that was so funny.
This is like, yeah,

Speaker 1 just guerrilla warfare. Well, it was also a writer's strike, and I haven't been in the writers' union for a long time.
I was in it for a little bit when I wrote this pilot, and then

Speaker 1 when the actor strike happened, it was in solidarity already. So it was kind of like they had already made the noise that they needed for justification for the strike.

Speaker 1 Actors were just being like, yeah, yeah, let's get, get them what they want so we can work. Right.
Like, get these people everything they want. Let's go.
Like, come on, man, get over.

Speaker 1 And also, a lot of it was shit that was a little bit needed. I mean, like,

Speaker 1 the amount of money that some of these executives are getting versus what the residuals would pay out for these writers or actors, dude, it's a joke. Yeah.
I sent a screenshot yesterday to David Spade

Speaker 1 because you see what you're getting in your residuals. You know, it like sends you an email or whatever.
And it's literally one cent, and it's for his show, Lights Out on Comedy Central that we did.

Speaker 1 And I was like, thanks a lot, man. Really appreciate this.
Like,

Speaker 1 this is going to help us out this month. And it was like, you know, like he has any control.
But like, the fact that sometimes you'd get 26 cent checks is like, give me a fucking break.

Speaker 1 What am I going to do? And also, that means to me,

Speaker 1 the executives that did the buyouts or the sell-throughs, I'm sure they got, you know, 50, 60 grand. Right.
And each little idiot like you got a shekel. Yeah.

Speaker 6 What was the AI thing that they were talking about where like if you showed up as a background actor,

Speaker 6 the studios would then have the rights to use your face

Speaker 6 like AI to put them in different scenes or something like that?

Speaker 1 They were trying to dupe. Yeah, they were trying to dupe background actors to just reuse them in other backgrounds of other shows.
Oh, that's crazy. Yeah, they wanted to reuse background actors.

Speaker 1 Here was my thought on it. I said, okay.

Speaker 1 Background acting is a nightmare. It's super hard.
You're treated like shit. They should be treated better.
They kind of cattle call these people in. They bully them around.

Speaker 1 And, you know, it's just, it's in your 15-hour days or 12 to 14-hour days. So it's not fun.
It sucks. It fucking sucks.

Speaker 1 And you're getting to learn sometimes, but I do think they're not treated great all the time. I'll be honest.
I've been on sets where they are.

Speaker 1 But I said, if that's the case that they want to propose AI to them, we'll maybe give them a huge check to use their likeness for a limited amount of time.

Speaker 1 just in the background, but then have subsidize a program where they can come to and then learn and not have to be in the background, but like shadow and follow and learn and watch.

Speaker 1 Because a lot of people just want to learn. A lot of people that do background, they just want to know how everything works.

Speaker 1 Those sausages made. Yeah, they want to see the insides.
Right. And I thought, you know, who am I?

Speaker 1 But I just proposed in my own little stupid world of people I've talked to, I said, what if they paid them a big fat check and said, we'll use your likeness for six months.

Speaker 1 After that, there's a new contract.

Speaker 1 So you will be used AI background, but there's a subsidy program that the union would do to let them come to set, watch an entire series series filmed so they can learn everything.

Speaker 1 I mean, granted, I don't know who if people would want to do it, but I thought that's a better use of their time than standing there, you know, for 12 hours a day being where a lot of times you can't even see them, that they're filler, you know?

Speaker 1 So it's almost like I think you can service both worlds. But I get it.
Once you enter the world of AI, you're fucked. Yeah.
It's over.

Speaker 6 I mean, I read some of the AI scripts that people were trying to put out. They stink.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're terrible.

Speaker 6 Robots aren't funny yet. No, they're not there.
Do you think robots can ever get to a point where it's like they can write new original comedy?

Speaker 1 I don't know, man. I get scared about it.
Well, I mean, people are always going to want people, but

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't know. I mean, look at what's on your fucking desk.
I mean, that's kind of like the looming future of like you're turning it.

Speaker 6 And I don't like it.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't.

Speaker 1 But I think a lot of people that get it do love it. Yeah.
And it'll slowly catch on.

Speaker 6 The thing is, like, the last two years have been like Silicon Valley executives giving testimony, being like, we need to be very careful with AI. AI is scary.
AI could end the world.

Speaker 6 And it's like, dude, you're the one that's making the AI.

Speaker 6 Can we just not do AI?

Speaker 1 No, it's already there. Can we just say, bad idea? Someone will do it.

Speaker 6 Put it in reverse.

Speaker 1 We already have. Don't you know, though, that if it's released to the public now, it means they've had it for a decade.
Yeah, that's true. They've already had it.

Speaker 1 The government's not going to let something come out like this unless they've already been tooling with it and regulating it behind our backs.

Speaker 1 And then finally going, all right, give it to the idiots now. It's fine to give it to them now.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, you hear those stories from like, you know, dude, look at how long it took them to admit aliens or we actually have proof of

Speaker 1 unidentified objects. Like, yeah.
Now, after 20 years of 30 years of them being like, shut up, you idiot.

Speaker 1 There are no aliens. Stop it.
And then now they're like, yeah, what are you going to do? Yeah. They're there.
Big deal.

Speaker 6 The craziest part of that story was that, and this might be like the biggest story ever, that aliens exist, and that it was Tom DeLong from Blink 182 that got the government to admit it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude, I know he's like big on pushing it, huh? He's huge.

Speaker 6 He's the one that got like the Navy to release the videos of the UFOs.

Speaker 1 There are aliens. Yeah.

Speaker 6 And then everyone was like, oh, Taylor Swift has a new boyfriend this week.

Speaker 1 That's pretty important. Right.
That was a plant. Right.
That wasn't actually real.

Speaker 1 They don't have a real relationship. That was just to get the focus away from Tom DeLong and the alien.
Yep.

Speaker 6 He's too close.

Speaker 1 God bless, dude. Good.
It was a good meetup, dude. That's a good distraction.
It worked really well. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, this has been great.

Speaker 1 I have one last question. So, y'all know that we're big fans of Cracker Barrel.
And this holiday season, I will be sat at their table with a big plate of country-fried turkey.

Speaker 14 And Brandon, I'll be right there with you, and I'll check it off my Christmas list in the country store while I'm at it. It'll make a nice holiday tradition.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's so cute of you.

Speaker 14 Enjoy all the more holiday traditions only at Cracker Barrel.

Speaker 1 Are you going to move to Austin like every other comedian in the world? No, dude. No, that's not for me.
If I was going to move anywhere, you know, we were going to make a shift to New York.

Speaker 1 We couldn't. Family stuff, like, it just didn't work out.
So

Speaker 1 we couldn't. And then

Speaker 1 if I was going to go anywhere outside of L.A.,

Speaker 1 it would be... Chicago or New York for me.
Come work in this office. Yeah, dude, I know.

Speaker 1 But then I have to drag Bobby, you know, because our podcast is doing great, and it's like, well, he can't leave, he won't leave LA. Yeah, he refuses to leave LA.

Speaker 1 Because I told him, well, we can relocate to somewhere fun. Let's try something new.
But the pod is doing better than it's ever done, so he doesn't want to leave. Yeah.
And look at this.

Speaker 1 Like, you guys had, you have to, like, physically make everyone agree on being in the same place. Yeah.
Because the Zoom shit,

Speaker 1 no, it's not the same. Yeah.
It's whack. It doesn't work.
You need to be together. So as long as me and the Bo are going to be doing our show, we'll be in some LA.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you guys have been doing a lot of live podcast tours, too. Yeah,

Speaker 1 we have four left. We do do like uh canada we do windsor and niagara falls and then we end in vegas on 420.

Speaker 1 when you do those do you do like a whole different show or is it just a live podcast we do an it we do stand up we have an opener and then we each do stand-up we do like 20 to 30 minutes of stand-up so the so you get like an hour and some change of stand-up up top and then we do another hour and some change of bits from the show that's awesome audience involvement it's so much fun man it's so stupid and free and you know they get involved and we do trivia questions and uh we do scene readings with them and it's, I mean, the fans,

Speaker 1 it's been the coolest thing to see this transition of, like, they're stand-up fans, but then they also want to be interactive in that world of the bad friends. Yeah.
Weird world. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We're going to Abu Dhabi in May. Oh, shit.
We're doing bad friends in Abu Dhabi.

Speaker 1 We've been offered to do live shows, but like we always struggle with like, what are we going to just do? Do the podcast like in front of everyone? Like that kind of sucks.

Speaker 1 You've got to give people more. Smartless does it.
Bateman and those guys, but they bring out a big name guest. Right, yeah.
Right. So you'd have to just bring out a big athlete and

Speaker 1 play some kind of game with them that people would want to see. Yeah.
You know? Yeah. Like, get Aaron Rodgers out there.
We also have consciously been like, well, let's not do live tours.

Speaker 1 And then, like, in 20 years, when we want to cash one big check, we'll be like, reunion tour. Oh, that's smart.
Like, Rolling Stone.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're like, hey, one time only.

Speaker 6 We were going to do one in New York, but it was going to be at a James Dolan arena. And James Dolan has banned Barstall Sports from any place that's going to be.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so he had it set in everything.

Speaker 6 Close it down. It was whatever comedy festival it was, like the New York Comedy Festival.

Speaker 1 But Dolan is the Knicks.

Speaker 6 He owns a lot of shit.

Speaker 1 Right, but the Garden is a separate company. He doesn't own.
I think he owns it all. Yeah.
He does? He can bam you for sure. I'm pretty sure he can bam anyone.
Because MSG owns a ton of other venues.

Speaker 1 I didn't know that he was the head of that. Oh, because we sold like a sell-the-team shirt.
Yeah. And he got mad like instantly, like 20 minutes later.

Speaker 1 How can we make it up to James Dolan? I don't know, but

Speaker 6 I respect the fact that he has this big grudge against our entire company.

Speaker 6 Where he's like, I'm going to use my power and not let them perform at any venue that I own.

Speaker 1 Does Portnoy and him have a thing? Did that happen? No,

Speaker 1 we did sell the team shirts. And then

Speaker 1 he emailed the guy who bought our company in 2016.

Speaker 1 He emailed him within 20 minutes and was like, what is this?

Speaker 1 And then that was it. And then we also had one of our guys did hiss at him publicly.
Like, he was walking on the street and he went.

Speaker 6 I got arrested at the dog show at MSG, so that put me on his radar a little bit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude, but you get hissed at once in a while. Yeah, you get hissed at.
That's going to happen. I will say for everything that James Dolan, he seems like not the best guy in the world.

Speaker 1 I would say that being a rich guy and then making a band and making people go see your band, that rules. Yeah.
Like, I would do that if I had his money. Well, that's like Corey Feldman, right?

Speaker 1 He's back, but he's back with a band now. I think it's cool when you get rich and successful and then you just want to have a band.
Right. Yeah.
Yeah. We should start a band.
Sure. Yeah.
Do it.

Speaker 1 TFT has a band.

Speaker 6 I got a band. Actually, now that you say it, like, yeah, that's kind of what I do.

Speaker 6 You have to come watch my band when I'm

Speaker 1 sound. I would just, like, it's like when an owner buys a team, it's like, I'd just fucking coach the team, too.
Yeah, well, what do you do after that point when you own?

Speaker 1 Like, I saw the woman that owns the Kings or is a partner of the Kings. She gave the Pope a Kings jersey.
Yeah, that's cool. Did you see that?

Speaker 6 The Pope is probably like, the Pope probably has a closet filled with the stupidest shit.

Speaker 1 Jerseys. But I just think jerseys is so funny.
At one night, when he takes off the robe, he's sitting there and he's like, maybe I'll put on the jersey. He throws on the Sacramento Terror.

Speaker 1 Fox, he's pretty good. And he's doing like he's zero stepping.

Speaker 1 He's doing the kid countdown where he's like, three, two, one.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
Well, everyone, check out Santino when he's on the road. His new movie out, Bad Friends Podcast.

Speaker 1 I got a last question.

Speaker 6 So I saw the video that you did with Bobby. Bobby Aitoff.
How do you say your name?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Bobby Altoff.
Altoff. It's incredible.

Speaker 6 It was very funny. So fun.
While you were shooting it, were you like, this is exactly the right way that I was hoping it was going to go? Because she's used to making people feel uncomfortable.

Speaker 6 You made her feel uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 Well, because it was like, I just,

Speaker 1 I don't even know how to explain it, but they wanted me to do teacher stand-up. That was the bit.
And then I said no. And then the producer was like, well, what do you want to do?

Speaker 1 And I was like, I want to go golf. I like golf.
If I'm not working, I want to play golf. So I was like, let's play golf.
At least I can go hit balls because my days are so stacked.

Speaker 1 I'm like, it'd be nice to just go hit balls. And then she can do an interview like that if you want it somewhere.

Speaker 1 So they made a few phone calls and we we went to the range and I was there like 40 minutes before her because she was late. So immediately when she was late, as I was hitting balls, I thought,

Speaker 1 I'm going to puppeteer this whole interview. Like, I'm just going to, I'm going to drive this entire thing.
I just was making up my mind as I was hitting balls. I didn't think about it before then.

Speaker 1 Until that, she was late. And when she showed up late and I started giving her shit about it, her response immediately put me in gear.
It was like, I didn't really do it.

Speaker 1 The universe was like, this is how this has to go. Because I just, as I thought about controlling the interview just to give her shit, she played into it very well.

Speaker 1 She played into it enough where I couldn't stop. I like started.

Speaker 1 Once I started, I was like, oh, dude, I'm going to, this is what I'm going to do the whole time. It was so good.
It was so fun to do, man. We're trying to do something else because I think, you know,

Speaker 1 it's an interesting play the way she does it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 She did a good job. And she was mean to Bobby, Lee.
Yeah, I saw that at tennis. So I said, I'm going to get her back a little bit.

Speaker 1 Like, I have to go there and defend you for her, even though I talked shit about him to her. Yeah, I still was like, you know, just fucking with her a little bit.

Speaker 1 I felt like it was the necessary thing. We stand up for our partners, man.
Yeah. Did you see the one comment afterwards that made me laugh so hard? There was,

Speaker 1 you said the funniest bit was when you were talking about your assistants and you're like, I pay my woman assistant less.

Speaker 1 She's way better, but you pay her less because you have to. Someone commented, they're like, if women get paid less, they should have to pay less taxes.
No, I didn't see it.

Speaker 1 And someone responded, they're like, oh, yeah, that's how taxes work.

Speaker 1 By the way, it's just the IRS comedy. It's an IRS bot.
Yeah, like, just so you know. That is exactly what I'm saying.
But you crushed that, dude. That was so fucking funny.
Yeah, that was awesome.

Speaker 1 We're going to, we'll figure some other stuff out. I just want to make more golf content fun stuff because to bring more fun to golf because of people's perception of it.

Speaker 1 We have an idea that we've been floating around with that you might want to do with us. We're going to

Speaker 1 all me, PFT, and Hank are going to eat an eighth of mushrooms, and then we'll have someone dressed as Toad in the Foresome, and we'll just see how it goes. Oh, shit.
That's a big idea.

Speaker 1 If you don't want to eat the mushrooms, you could be Toad. No, I'd be down for the mushrooms.
Oh, okay, all right.

Speaker 1 I'm more down for the mushrooms in golf than I am for Toad. Yeah, but I do think

Speaker 1 watching it just unravel. I like that.
I think to throw a wrench in that, you should have a lot of characters from just popping out of the woods. Popping out of the woodworks.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I think that's what we were saying initially: was like we all get dressed up. The caddies all get dressed up.
You're somebody in the Mario universe.

Speaker 1 So I actually agree with this even more. I would love to do it if all of us played a Mario character.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That would be more fun if we're all somebody, because then you're going to embody the character. Yeah, that you have to talk to you.
You're like, sounds like a

Speaker 1 triple bogey.

Speaker 1 Dude, Wario playing golf. All right, so you're in.
I'm in. Got you attached.
Let's do it. I'll do it.
That sounds red. All right.
Thanks so much. Thank you, boys.

Speaker 6 Hey, it's PFT here, reminding you that Boarshead makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless.

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Speaker 1 Okay, Fire Fest of the week. I want to hear from memes too, Fire Fest.
Yeah. Yeah, memes is struggling.
You know what, memes? Why don't you start with your Fire Fest?

Speaker 1 So we did the 24 Pancake Challenge. Memes, you were the big loser.
By the way, I was thinking about this morning. It dawned on me that we had the joke, like, no one cares about your fantasy team.

Speaker 1 And then we had dingers only, which was a lot of fun. And then we're like, let's just do all of them.
I don't know if we want to do pancakes next year. I don't really know.

Speaker 1 I don't even know who was on my team.

Speaker 6 I think you got to pick one guy.

Speaker 1 It was untrackable. It was untrackable.

Speaker 1 We played ourselves with this pancake league because I was like, wait, can I even name one guy on my team? Yeah, I picked all tackles. Yeah,

Speaker 6 I think Jake had the right idea, which was draft just people that we know from the show. Yeah.
But I think we do one person. One person.
One person pancake league.

Speaker 1 Just get all the pancakes. All right, so memes,

Speaker 1 I left at like 11.30. You had like seven pancakes left or hours.
How did the rest of the night go? You just kept on saying there's no room. There's no room when we tried to get you to eat.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so there was no more room left.

Speaker 6 And then 12, 15 hit.

Speaker 7 I took a big bite, threw up.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 made room, and then finished the last two.

Speaker 6 Did you throw up on the live stream?

Speaker 1 No, I had to run to the bathroom.

Speaker 6 Oh, I told you you could pull trig at that point.

Speaker 5 Yeah, he kept getting up, and everyone was like, Don't let him puke. I was like, I want to go home.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because puke is. I think that was fair.

Speaker 1 Eating challenges are always the same. It's always like in your head, you're like, that's not that hard.
And then the minute you get into it, you're like, this fucking sucks.

Speaker 6 Memes treated it the same way he treated the stand-up thing, which he was just like, oh, it's going to be fine. Yeah.
But then he got there. There was no plan of attack.

Speaker 6 He ate, what, seven pancakes, hit a wall? Mega wall. Mega wall.
Hit eight.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 3 do you want me to do a eating competition to prepare for next time?

Speaker 1 Yeah, there is really no preparing for it. It's more the only preparation.

Speaker 1 The only preparation is to say, this is going to suck, and not, I'm going going to eat it in three and a half hours and I'm going to go hamburger mode and dominate the.

Speaker 5 He also might have drank 400 bottles of water. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 6 Because it did make you thirsty.

Speaker 5 That was called the water boy.

Speaker 1 It did make you thirsty.

Speaker 6 I think the preparation next time is just getting mentally tough. Read the art of war.

Speaker 5 It was the banana. He kept just being like the banana.
The banana.

Speaker 1 The banana. It did everything.

Speaker 5 It was you and the strawberries. Yeah.
You fucked him with the strawberries.

Speaker 6 I think the strawberries were delicious. No, I think the cakes were really good.

Speaker 1 He was trying everything. You were trying to get our boy, you know, back.

Speaker 6 I was willing to baby bird it.

Speaker 6 At the end, I was willing to chew it and then spit it into your mouth if that would help because I was sick of just sitting there watching memes, being like, come on, memes, do something.

Speaker 5 It's also tough when you're watching, like, as, you know, I'm sure the viewers feel the same way. When you're watching someone with just one little pancake,

Speaker 5 yeah. Like, just eat it.

Speaker 1 Eat it. Yeah.

Speaker 5 But we were saying that you were like, you can't, like, I wanted my body's going to explode. Just eat it.

Speaker 1 We're going to eat it. But you're doing a hockey fan.
Just eat. Like, what if if you just ate it?

Speaker 6 Instead of shoot it, we were just like, yeah, come on. It's right there.
Just eat it. Mind over batter.
You can do this, memes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we were sitting on the couch being like, I never would have fumbled that ball.

Speaker 6 No, easy.

Speaker 1 So we just hold on to the ball. Just eat it.
What are you doing?

Speaker 6 Memes, did you think about eating it?

Speaker 1 I did think about eating it. The only regret was initially stopping after the eight.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was tough. So, yeah, I like the, like, it was funny content because, especially because we had Max freaking out next to him while Memes was in hell.

Speaker 1 But I do think we, for future fantasy leagues, we have to do it where we can actually track it and care about it. Yeah.
That was our mistake.

Speaker 1 The pancakes, we had no idea who won, how they were winning. The updates were just like, okay, Jake did a great job updating, but it was like, okay,

Speaker 1 I got six this week.

Speaker 6 Okay, so a couple other ones we could do. Touchdowns.
Touchdowns, that's easy to track. Touchdowns are easy.

Speaker 1 Just

Speaker 6 punt yards. Just everyone gets a punter.

Speaker 6 An injury league, you draft one guy that you think is going to get injured.

Speaker 1 We also already have a competition during football season. That's true.

Speaker 1 Good point. And we bet every Sunday.
So there's really.

Speaker 7 We don't need to replace this with anything.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like I think Dingers Only was an idea that's going to last because that idea is we want to learn more baseball players and we don't have anything really going on during the summer.

Speaker 1 So that one counts. But yeah, I agree.

Speaker 1 It is

Speaker 1 pancakes only might be

Speaker 1 might be a thing of the past.

Speaker 1 Hank. Stand up.
And stand up. Hank.

Speaker 5 Firefest?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Two Firefests, both minor, nothing crazy.

Speaker 1 What did you do with your tree?

Speaker 5 I stored it in a closet. I made some space.

Speaker 1 Oh, so you did have space. Yeah,

Speaker 5 as you were kind of saying that to me,

Speaker 5 a light bulb went off. I had to move some things around.

Speaker 5 But it was good. It was a very...

Speaker 5 I had been putting off basically completing my move into my condo, which I moved into in June. I got

Speaker 5 85% in, and then I was like, all right, I'm good. And then I was like, you know, eventually I'll finish this off.
And finally, I moved the tree, and then I was like, I'm doing it.

Speaker 5 I ordered some stuff. I ordered a chair, different rug,

Speaker 5 ordered those to my old apartment in Hoboken, which I realized today.

Speaker 5 And then I lost the remote for my TV in my bedroom somewhere. Oh, you're fucked.
So two nights in a row, I've just been like,

Speaker 1 where the fuck is this thing?

Speaker 1 Where the fuck is this?

Speaker 6 It's funny to think that, like, Hank might have a lady friend over at the apartment.

Speaker 6 She's like looking for towels, looking to use a shower, and then she opens up a closet and a tree just falls on her.

Speaker 5 Different closets, but yeah.

Speaker 1 Of all the fire fests, losing your remote might be number one. Yeah.
Like that is, it's just you feel so helpless and you're like, I can't, what am I going to do? You need to get it.

Speaker 1 You need to get on. I have all my TVs on an app now on my phone.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's like one TV. You'd think it's easy.
And like sometimes, you know, I'll just put on like a golf bed or something and fall asleep.

Speaker 5 And then, but, you know, last night I got back at 2.30 and I was like, oh, I'll just fall asleep. But then once you don't have the remote, you're like,

Speaker 5 I could just watch this and I'd fall asleep. Yeah.
Then I was up to like four. That's brutal.

Speaker 1 That's tough. That's brutal.

Speaker 6 You know what else is brutal? I'm going through this right now. My remote is out of batteries.
And then I'm just that one's easy.

Speaker 6 I'm just too lazy to look for batteries. And then you do the thing.
I've done the thing where I...

Speaker 5 You have an Xbox controller nearby?

Speaker 6 I don't, but you take the batteries out and then you like rub them in your hands real quick.

Speaker 6 I sat on batteries like an egg the other night. I was like a bird bird to warm up the battery.
You put it back in, it works again.

Speaker 6 So, until I've lost all recourse, like trying to MacGyver my way into having electricity,

Speaker 6 I'm going to stay downstairs. I'm going to watch TV.
And then, once all other options have failed, then I'll go upstairs, find the batteries, and now new remote. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I bought a TV you could put on your head.

Speaker 6 Oh, no, that's in the office right here. I'm taking that back.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 I'm the same thing. I just keep putting, I just keep putting going back and forth between my TV remote and my Xbox controller.
Oh, yeah. And

Speaker 7 it is the most infuriating thing ever. It is.
Because whenever I want to do the other thing, the remote is never in there.

Speaker 1 And it's also extra infuriating when you realize that we live in 2024. And if you just went on Amazon, you could have batteries in like four hours.
You could have enough batteries to last your life.

Speaker 6 Yeah. I could order.

Speaker 1 It's so easy.

Speaker 6 You can order so many batteries on Amazon that you would get put on like a terrorism watch list. Right.
And it's very easy to do. But until I...

Speaker 6 There's also something nice. I feel like I've gone out and like hunted for my own dinner when I'm able to like restore electricity to the battery real quick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm out of the bat. I'm out of the

Speaker 1 like not having battery game just because with all the

Speaker 1 toys for kids, we just have a drawer that has like 300 batteries. Yeah.
You know what? Max, remind me tomorrow morning. I'll bring in some batteries for you.
The battery drawer. Solve it easy.

Speaker 7 Okay. Yeah, I literally live above a grocery store that has a million batteries.

Speaker 1 It's easier for me to bring them in for you. I got you.
I got you, bro. I got you.
No problem. Okay, PFT, your Fire Fest?

Speaker 6 Yeah, my Fire Fest of the Week. This is a weird one, one, but I've got a car filled with Yaramir Yager bobbleheads that I'm trying to get rid of.
So if anybody out there is interested in getting some.

Speaker 6 I'll take one.

Speaker 1 You want one?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Okay, $500.

Speaker 5 What's the catch here?

Speaker 1 No catch. There was a truck that got hijacked today.

Speaker 1 All the commemorative Yamir Yager bobbleheads.

Speaker 6 The Pittsburgh Penguins were having Yaramir Yager bobblehead night tonight. For everybody that bought a ticket, you were going to get a bobblehead.
And the truck got hijacked.

Speaker 6 And so somebody is holding these bobbleheads high. Or I actually think, I allowed myself to wander a little bit on this one.

Speaker 6 I don't think the bobbleheads existed.

Speaker 6 I think that maybe

Speaker 6 there were no bobbleheads and the penguins are like, fuck, it's bobblehead night. We forgot to order these things.

Speaker 1 Forgot to order, yeah.

Speaker 6 It's Jesse Smollett. Yeah.
It's Jesse Smalobblehead Night. Yeah.
And they're like, well, we don't have. Oh, yeah, the cops.
We called the cops. They're looking into it right now.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Find those bobbleheads.

Speaker 1 So if they were real, because I like your theory, but if they were real, I saw a a lot of people saying, Imagine the guy who goes and hijacks a truck thinking he's getting a bunch of TVs and a bunch of bobbleheads.

Speaker 1 I completely disagree. Bobbleheads are commemorative bobbleheads, are pricey these days.
People love that shit. I think that was a targeted truck to hijack.
A thousand percent.

Speaker 5 Yeah, when he just described it, that wasn't like a coincidence.

Speaker 5 That was a Pittsburgh super fan trying to recreate the town.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it's the yes, it's the town. Yeah, yeah, it's like two, it's like two yins parked underneath underneath the Heinz Field with just a truck.
They're like, who's Kai we taking? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And they just got it. And those will go for a lot of money.
I think I saw a couple on eBay already. Yeah.
So, yeah.

Speaker 6 Yeah, they were on eBay for like 300 bucks. Yeah.
That's not. Listen, if these are fucking stolen bobbleheads, that price should be 3,000.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like, I guess.
This guy's going to make a lot of money off this.

Speaker 6 It actually, it makes me want to buy one more knowing that it's stolen. Yeah.

Speaker 1 A stolen Yamura Yager bobblehead is something that I lust for.

Speaker 6 Can you imagine if they did, instead of a bobblehead, it was just a bobble mullet and just the mullet part of his hair bobbled back and forth, blown in the wind? That would be cool. That'd be sick.

Speaker 6 Maybe that's what it is. If they are real,

Speaker 6 we should purchase one.

Speaker 1 Yes, agreed.

Speaker 6 So if you're a listener, and chances are, I think probably the person that would hijack a truck of Yamur Yager bobbleheads is probably an AWL.

Speaker 1 It might even be the dude who's like, I'll hijack this truck and I'll offer it to the guys and I'll get an internship. Yeah.

Speaker 6 A free internship for a while.

Speaker 1 And let me say this. If you can produce a thousand Yamur Yager bobbleheads, we will give you an internship.

Speaker 6 Absolutely. If you can give us one of them, we'll get to that.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no. No, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 6 We'll bring you in for an interview.

Speaker 1 No, because that could be a lot of people could find it and buy one. We need 1,000.

Speaker 6 But if you're the guy that did it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, then you should be able to produce 1,000. True.
Yeah, easy. Easy.
Okay. Maybe even a picture of all of them.
And then we'll start the picture. Definitely not the picture.

Speaker 1 No, we'll start the conversation.

Speaker 1 We'll start the conversation if you can get us the picture. We will not, you do not get a job or an interview if you get the picture.
We start the conversation like, damn, that's a lot of bobbleheads.

Speaker 1 Boom, conversation over.

Speaker 6 I want a picture of a thousand bobbleheads next to today's Pittsburgh Sun-Times newspaper. Yep.
Proof of life for these bobbleheads.

Speaker 1 What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey. How do you make an Irish entrance, you ask?

Speaker 1 It starts with a shot of proper number 12 Irish whiskey because real friends friends don't let friends Irish exit a party without a story to tell.

Speaker 1 Original proper number 12 is rich in a smooth blend of golden grain and single malt. Age four years in bourbon barrels.
Mix it up with some ginger ale for a classic and refreshing proper ginger.

Speaker 1 In the mood for something smooth but a little sweeter, try proper Irish apple, a delicious blend of proper's award-winning Irish whiskey with crisp, fresh notes of apple.

Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.
We had to talk really quickly about the

Speaker 1 Africa Bowl and the part of my cheese steak getting put on everyone's helmet, the sticker. Shout out Billy.
Shout out Donnie. That was incredible.

Speaker 6 It was. Last Chance Uganda is a great series.

Speaker 6 It's some of the most compelling stuff I've ever seen. And credit to Donnie because everything that he does is awesome.
But Billy was really the perfect person to bring on for this.

Speaker 6 And there's, if you haven't seen the clip yet, there's an all-time clip of Billy in the aftermath.

Speaker 6 Let's just say Pete Prisca would not be happy with Billy and the way that he reacted to losing a football game. Yes.

Speaker 5 All Donnie's series are great, and he always finds like the side characters and random people that become the stars of the video. So that was kind of Billy in this one.
And

Speaker 5 I saw the clip of that PFT's talking about beforehand. It's unbelievable.

Speaker 5 And then I watched the whole video, and there's like 20 other moments. from Billy in the video that are just jaw-dropping.
I don't even know how to describe it.

Speaker 5 He was like Roid raging on the sidelines, yelling at the refs, yelling at Donnie. Like the crowd was laughing at him.
They didn't know what was going on. His other

Speaker 5 scared of him.

Speaker 1 Hank, he was passionate. He cared about the guys.

Speaker 5 No, it was great.

Speaker 5 It was Billy in his prime, prime form. He gave a great pump-up speech.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So shout out Pardon My Cheesesteak and Billy and Donnie, the Pardon My Cheesesteak Africa Bowl.

Speaker 5 But yeah, I was watching it just as a fan, and then I forgot, you know, obviously I knew the Pardon My Cheesesteak, but I got sucked up in it. And they're like, all right,

Speaker 5 we got ready.

Speaker 6 ready and then the boys started they started decaling all their helmets and cleats with part of my cheesesteak stickers and yeah a very surreal funny moment the part of my cheesesteak sticker on the cleat it was my cause my cleats but just for part of my cheesesteak yeah it was it was incredible it was awesome to watch i asked billy about about the clip of him crying yesterday I asked him if he wanted to like get in front of it, if there's any things that he'd like to comment,

Speaker 6 some additional context that he'd like to add to the clip. And he thought about it and he started crying again, thinking about the loss.
Well, he cried.

Speaker 5 He cried in the post-game interview, too.

Speaker 1 Like, there were a lot of game, and he was like, Yeah, listen, it's not our fault.

Speaker 6 You can, like, Billy's got his detractors out there for sure. He's got some people that love him, too.
I personally love Billy, but

Speaker 6 there's no better Billy than when he actually cares about something. Yes.
And he actually deeply, deeply cared about this game.

Speaker 6 He ended up making great content out of it. Yes, he's amazing.

Speaker 1 He did. Okay, my Fire Fest is

Speaker 1 this is the first St. Patrick's Day that I'm back in Chicago since I retired from St.
Patrick's Day, and I have the most most FOMO possible. You can just go out?

Speaker 1 Come out on the river.

Speaker 1 I want to, but I just can't because then it's just, it's the, it's the, it's the time lost getting drunk because I know I won't be able to stop myself. And I, there's games on, and then, you know,

Speaker 1 it's way too early.

Speaker 6 I'm going to throw a weird, weird idea out there, big cat.

Speaker 1 I'd end up doing drugs.

Speaker 6 There's this place that has sports and beer, and it's called a sports bar where you can do both.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know, I know. But that's that's not it.
It's not the I can't watch, I know I could watch games somewhere. It's the fact that if I, if I was like, I'm going out for St.

Speaker 1 Patrick's Day, there's there's no stopping. That sounds like the only stopping is not going out.
And I have FOMO because I used to love going out on St. Patrick's Day in Chicago.
It was the best.

Speaker 5 I don't believe it.

Speaker 1 It was the best.

Speaker 6 Also, I've planned out my entire Saturday.

Speaker 6 No, I'm going to hit the river early, and then I'm going to go to like two bars, and then I'm going to go back to my house at like 2:30 in the afternoon, order way too much food to lift into my house and i'm going to watch basketball it's the best we just do like house parties in the morning bars in the afternoon

Speaker 1 best um also it's just march and uh i just forgot because we you know we stream all of nfl and it's fun and it's good vibe march is war it's war it's just such a different feel to it than nfl's uh sunday streams we will be streaming all the games so you can watch us uh basically non-stop the next three weeks but i just forgot we did we did the pancake stream and wednesday night with the hoops, and I just forgot that it's like, I mean, Max had some moments where I thought he was going to kill himself or possibly quit.

Speaker 1 I had some moments where I was very upset. So it's just a reminder that if you're watching us, just remember that anything that's said between the white lines, we don't count.

Speaker 1 Max was apologizing to us after, like, dude, you don't have to apologize.

Speaker 6 Like, immediately after.

Speaker 1 This is a totally different beast.

Speaker 1 March brings out the worst in everyone in the moment. Once the game's over, there's no apologies necessary.
We say shit we don't think or believe. We just react.

Speaker 6 My favorite was right after the Villanova game. Max just put his hand out and started shaking everyone's hand in the room, apologizing.
Yeah. The second the whistle blew.

Speaker 6 It's like, Max, this is not our first time watching you watch sports. Yeah, and

Speaker 1 you left the room for a little bit, and he turned to me and Hank. He goes, respectfully, respectfully, like the most aggressive, respectfully everything.
Respectfully, I'm not doing this.

Speaker 1 I'm not doing this tonight. Respectfully.
He stole my phone. And then you you came in, PFT, and you're like, who antagonized Max to get him to this point? And then Max just turned.

Speaker 1 He's like, fuck you, PFT. I was like, PFT, you see, no one's doing anything.
It's literally just he exists, and we exist in the same room as him.

Speaker 6 Max looked at me. He's like, Why are you standing up? Yeah.
I was like, I just came back into the room. I just walked into the room, Max.

Speaker 1 So, but it's fun. So to me.

Speaker 5 Go back to where you came from at one point.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 they are my favorite streams. They produce just hilarious moments.

Speaker 6 And I just want, I want to give a disclaimer to everyone watching that if you're like oh these guys are assholes or mean to each other yes that might be true but just know it's not actually deeper than that it's literally in the moment you know what i love about march is it's it's like a series with all the different teams that you find yourself rooting for or getting i don't want to say falling in love with it's more like you have a bunch of one-night stands with a bunch of different teams that you deeply care about for like two hours.

Speaker 6 Yeah. And then you just move on to the next one.
But a really special game in March will have you thinking about that one team and it'll make like a lasting memory for yourself. Yeah, Jelly Walker.

Speaker 6 Remember when I rooted so hard for Marquise Noel? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And the best part is, too, to further that analogy, you'll have an incredible one-night stand with the team, and then the next day you'll bet them again, and they suck, and you'll be like, what?

Speaker 1 It's like almost turning on the lights. You're like, what did I just do? Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 Like, we bet on Missouri first half yesterday. It looked like they didn't know how to play basketball.
I wish that there was a plan B for me watching that game. Yeah.
Where you can just flush it out.

Speaker 1 That was a tough one.

Speaker 1 I i rode with you that was that was a quintessential wednesday night uh conference championship week we're betting just because it's on tv it's fine not realizing these teams are just the worst teams in the country yeah they have not won it missouri finished the season without winning a conference game yeah but they almost got that 33 and a half all right jake finish us off yeah also very excited the next few weeks best time of the year yep uh When I was in Florida for the golf tournament, I went to the wrong hotel.

Speaker 1 Oh, they didn't have reservations. You minced it.

Speaker 6 Kind of.

Speaker 6 They sent an updated email saying they changed hotel reservations for us, and I missed that email.

Speaker 1 But it's all right.

Speaker 6 Learning experience.

Speaker 1 So when you showed up, were they just like, this

Speaker 1 doesn't exist? Oh, that's brutal. Yeah.
Yeah. But it's all right.

Speaker 6 It's March. That's tough.
Everything will be okay. I keep telling myself that.

Speaker 1 It's March. Max, we're taping this Fire Fest in the morning.

Speaker 1 Do you want to leave a little nugget for the Villanova game?

Speaker 1 Well, obviously talk about it at the start of the show so you already already heard what happened, but let me just get your confidence level and maybe a prediction right now so that we can go back and laugh.

Speaker 7 No, it was a disappointing year.

Speaker 1 It was a disappointing year. Oh, it's over.
Yes. Very over.
Wow.

Speaker 7 Didn't show up. Didn't show up in the garden.
It's a place where we have excelled so many times in the past.

Speaker 1 Now I'm rooting for Villanova so we can be like Max never believed.

Speaker 6 Max is. You know what, though? Max is slowly learning.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Slowly. Slowly, but he forgets it pretty quickly.
Yeah. He said last night afterwards, he's like, tomorrow, like talking about Marquette versus Villanova.
He's like, I'm not going to get angry.

Speaker 7 Low expectations, low pain. That's what I keep telling myself.

Speaker 1 Okay. So we'll see what happens when you're going to be.
It's going to be 8-2, Marquette. You're going to be yelling.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 I feel like you will have assaulted Rico. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's it.

Speaker 7 The Rico factor is a real, real problem.

Speaker 6 Rico has reached the point where, like, it's rent-free now, Max. Yeah.
Rico's rent-free in your head.

Speaker 7 It just bothers me that, like, he just had your head is an open house.

Speaker 1 No, what you say, Max, is correct. It does bother me as well because he just has everything.
Max's head is open. No, but Max's

Speaker 1 library. He roots for every team.

Speaker 6 But it's your team that he's rooting against for no reason. It does, it irritates me.

Speaker 1 And he'll just text me out of it.

Speaker 5 You made a Twitter video at him this week. I did.
Rico kind of owns this whole podcast. He does.

Speaker 6 Listen, Rico's

Speaker 6 a content machine, and

Speaker 6 he's a guy that you either love or you hate sometimes.

Speaker 1 Powerful phone in Northeast.

Speaker 7 Like, it's one thing if me and PFT are going at it about the Eagles Commanders.

Speaker 7 Those are our teams. But the fact that I, Rico,

Speaker 1 if you were to look at our text messages, it's only

Speaker 7 Arizona Diamondbacks against the Phillies. Like, he's a die-hard diamond.
You can't.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can't. Like, why I never feel bad about needling you during bad games for your teams is because I've been in that seat many, many times.

Speaker 1 Game seven of the World Series Cubs Indians, Dave came dressed up as Steve Bartman. Oh, no, he had game six, he was Steve Bartman.
Game seven, he had a full Indians uniform.

Speaker 1 So it's like, I wouldn't do it if I hadn't been there. Rico's not been in there, he doesn't have a team.
He has every team. Yeah, no, yes, yes.

Speaker 1 He doesn't care about anything. He cares about phone numbers.
Okay.

Speaker 6 Rico's definitely checking off to this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, we just did everything for him. All right.
Numbers. 40.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'm going to come.

Speaker 6 Oh, it's a great group of kids. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Three.

Speaker 1 Max, what's your number?

Speaker 1 20. Oh, okay.
18.

Speaker 1 Max and I have been in a little war just

Speaker 1 going back and forth with our numbers.

Speaker 6 Aaron Rodgers has denied being a Sandy Hook truther. So that's good.

Speaker 1 What was Aaron Rogers? What was.

Speaker 1 All right, so eight. What's your number, memes? I'm three.

Speaker 1 Okay, I will take. What was Yager? You was 68? I'll take 68.

Speaker 7 99 Pug.

Speaker 1 Oh, there he is.

Speaker 1 Four! Fuck!

Speaker 6 Fuck! What? What memes? She's got three.

Speaker 1 Yeah, three. But that really isn't because that's not close to the number.
It's not in any other number.

Speaker 6 No, somebody told me to pick four.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Brutal.

Speaker 1 Brutal.

Speaker 6 No memes.

Speaker 7 It was a girl on a dating app. She matched with them and said, hey, you don't have to match with me, but pick four.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 6 Memes. Oh, I think I have to take her on a date now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she's her future wife.

Speaker 6 This could be the start of the most beautiful relationship of all time, memes.

Speaker 1 This could could be the start of a script that PFT and I one day pitch to Hollywood that they laugh at and they're like, No, yeah, they stick it,

Speaker 6 give us stick a diamond.

Speaker 1 Are you guys? Somebody made it,

Speaker 1 yeah. Okay, see you everyone Monday.
Love you guys.

Speaker 1 been so good to me.

Speaker 1 Give me your hand, babe.

Speaker 1 You've been so good to me.

Speaker 1 You love sadly.

Speaker 1 Take on me.

Speaker 1 Say after me,

Speaker 1 oh it's the better to be safe and sorry. Say after me.

Speaker 1 Life's the better to be safe and tell me. Things that you say

Speaker 1 my worries away.

Speaker 1 You all fans I've got to remember. You're shy and away.

Speaker 1 Love you coming to be a money light.

Speaker 1 You're shy and away.

Speaker 1 Love you coming to be a money light. You've been afraid.