Frank Caliendo, NFL Week 13 Preview And Picks, Brian Kelly Is A Southerner & We All Read Frank Caliendo, NFL Week 13 Preview And Picks, Brian Kelly Is A Southerner & We All Read An Article On The MLB Lockout

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have Frank Caliendo on the show. In studio, we also have NFL Week 13 picks and preview, Thursday Night Football recap.
Brian Kelly is now a Southerner, fantasy fuckboys, and very important, we all read one single article on the MLB lockout and we give you exactly what happens or is going to happen with the MLB lockout now that we're experts and we're brought to you by our friends at... Ever had one of those days it's just too cold to keep working nah neither has ariot ariot work jackets and boots are packed with all the cold stopping waterproof protection you need to get the job done under any conditions so you can take any job out there and always deliver check out ariot in your local workwear retailer or visit ariot.com work to get 10 10% off your first order when you sign up for email and whether whatever in ariot work year oh now in the street there is violence and then a lot of work can be done No place to hang out or wash in.
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Today is Fri-yay. I almost said November, but it's actually December.
December 3rd. And Dan Quinn, backwards date Dan Quinn.
Cool guy Dan Quinn. He's won a game.
The Dallas Cowboys beat the Saints. Taysom Hill, maybe not the guy.
Dan Quinn with a backwards hat is a new man, big cat. When he's rocking the backwards hat, he means business.
That's Danny Quinn up there. You can throw what you know about Dan Quinn, old Daniel, out the window.
This is Danny Quinn, and he means business. Mike McCarthy is watching right now, probably smashing like he's got a sledgehammer.
He's smashing a birthday cake with the word Wuhan on it. And he's just like, God damn it, I may have been usurped.
Not by the coordinator that I thought was going to take my job, because Kellen Moore had some really weird play going down the stretch. But Dan Quinn, he looks so comfortable now.
And in a touching tribute to Mike McCarthy, who was out with COVID, Dan Quinn made sure that they went into the locker room running out of time, kicking a field goal at the end of the first half with two timeouts in their back pocket. That was nice.
It was like Mike McCarthy is here. It's like when Jason Kidd would shoot foul shots and he'd give a little signal to his kid at home.

Yeah.

I was going to say, what was the Loyola Marymount?

Who's the guy who died?

Give it to me.

Give it to me, Jake.

Way back in the day.

Way back in the day.

I'm talking about way back in the day.

And then his Bo Kimball shot the free throw left-handed for his fallen teammate.

That's kind of what Dan Quinn was doing with Mike McCarthy.

Hank Gathers. There it is.
I knew I had it somewhere in the old brain. But yeah, Thursday Night Football, I would – so a couple things.
Cowboys offense still kind of looks weird. Like you said, Kellen Moore, they just look off.
I don't know what it is. Like everything feels a little out of rhythm, a little bit clunky.
Shout out Marcus Williams for that incredible, I don't want to get my ankles broken on national television, so I'm going to let Tony Pollard run by me. Touchdown.
But yeah, their offense looks a little clunky. And Taysom Hill, the biggest takeaway is, maybe we now understand why Sean Payton has always flirted with Taysom Hill and never been like, hey, you're our quarterback.
I think they need to give him a new contract. I think that if anything, that's a quarterback that needs to have the confidence of the front office behind him when he plays.
Give him another 10-year contract. Maybe load him up for like 150 mil guaranteed this time.
Yes, yes. He loves underthrowing his receivers on comeback routes.
Yes. Like 11-yard passes.
Yes. But his receiver's like 14 yards away when he checks back to the ball.
I swear to God, there were like seven or eight passes tonight where I was like, maybe he caught it, but no, it was clearly a short hop on the field. I'll say something nice about Taysom Hill.
In the first three quarters, he didn't look awful. The first interception was not on him.
I like the way he goes into the huddle. He does the Drew Brees really lean forward onto that knee like a dog taking a piss.
He can run. He's fun when he runs, but anytime he has to throw a pass that requires any degree of touch on it, he can throw a bomb too.
But he'll either try to throw a touch pass and it'll get picked off, or he'll throw a pass like negative one yards into the flat. I always think when it's the Saints, I always am reminded of the Reggie Bush playing the playoffs on that play in the flat where Sheldon Brown just laid him out.
But yeah, Taysom Hill probably not the quarterback of the future, but I still like Taysom Hill in small doses. And the Saints are very banged up.
Obviously, I think their season is officially over just because we've – like credit to the Saints. They've kind of kept in a lot of these games even though they haven't – I mean, I guess they got a little bit blown out by the Bills on Thanksgiving night.
But like they still have a little punch. They still have a good roster and defensively they stay in it.
But man, they – like that Hill is just the whole entire offense Kamara not being there Michael Thomas just retiring early uh which sucks yeah the whole thing just feels like it's falling apart now the Cowboys I like Billy's take on Taysom Hill by the way it was like he's the Nate Diaz of quarterbacks where he said what'd you say uh not win, but you'll respect him. Yeah, but we can kind of amp that up a little bit to, like, he'll just straight up get his ass kicked.
Yeah, and you're like, damn, that guy's tough. But then afterwards you're like, he didn't stop running.
Yeah. He really kept on trying really hard, and he did have a splint, like an old-school splint you get when you jam your finger playing basketball his middle finger, on his throwing hand.
Russell Wilson came back in three weeks. Taysom Hill came back in three minutes.
Well, I think it also, it kind of just proves like, hey, Taysom Hill, you're not really there to throw it accurately. Because most, I would imagine most quarterbacks either, if they, I don't know if he broke his finger or jammed his finger, they would either come out of the game or not wear a splint and tough that out.
He's like, you know what? Like throwing's not really my thing anyway. So what does this matter? I also think Sean Payton has the biggest mood swings of any head coach, but when he's in love with you, he's really in love with you.
So even though Taysom Hill had probably a pretty much broken hand and was still out there playing, this was a guy that liked Trevor Simeon a lot a couple weeks ago. Correct.
But now he really likes Taysom Hill a lot. He does get credit, though, for calling Teddy Bridgewater.
He tried to get Teddy Bridgewater. So he tried to do that.
I think this just means Jameis needs to get more and more money. All these games would be so much fun if Jameis was playing.
He wins this game if he has one leg. Yeah.
Oh, we gotta talk about... So so Trayvon Diggs, obviously, he got his ninth pick, and we've joked that he should be the MVP of the season.
He is now no longer the best defensive player on the Cowboys. Michael Parsons is insane.
Yeah. I saw a stat that Michael Parsons, he's already surpassed all of Chase Young's Defensive Rookie of the Year stats, and we still have five games left.
So that means he's going to stink next year. Yeah, he's going to stink there and maybe get hurt, hopefully not knock on wood.
But he's like, even that pick, the Taysom Hill pick that was along the sideline on that wheel route, Michael Parsons was playing defense on the receiver. I think it was, who's playing receiver for the Saints? They've got Lil' Jordan Humphrey.
Yeah, who I love. That's a great name.
They've got Callaway, right? Yeah. Do they have Kenny Stills? No.
Yeah, they got Harris. Do they have Kenny Stills? I don't know.
No, I don't think so. But either way, Micah Parsons was like 20 yards.
Yeah, he was on the team. Oh, okay, so that's who he was defending.
No, I think that's who he was defending. He was defending Kenny Stills on a wheel route.
He was 20 yards down the field playing cornerback, and he was the one who broke up that pass that led to the interception on the sideline. He's all over the place.
I want to see him play some tight end. He's crazy.
He's awesome. He's probably the best athlete on the field at any given time.
Yeah. And Danny Quinn's job is to just, what, let him cause havoc, create havoc.
That's the game plan for Micah Parsons. He does a good job of it.
I'll just say this for the Saints offense. You might want to consider putting at least one guy to block Micah Parsons on third down and five.
Yes. It might be a good idea if you're dropping back to pass.
Kenny Stills, I'm looking at it right now. This is either a combination of Kenny Stills not being Kenny Stills anymore or Taysom Hill just not getting the ball to his wide receivers, which happened a lot where it was technically a target because that was the one he was throwing to.
Kenny Stills had five targets, zero catches, zero yards. If we're playing by cricket rules, though, Taysom Hill threw a lot of good balls.
Yeah, sure. There's a little skip.
I don't know what to make of the Cowboys, to be honest with you, because they do have, like, CeeDee Lamb is fucking electric.

And they have all the weapons, and Tony Pollard's incredible.

Zeke's obviously banged up.

But don't you get the feeling?

Like, it's just clunky.

Their offense looks clunky. It looks like everything is just a beat off.

It's a little inconsistent,

but I think that's also holding them to the expectation of how good they can be. They got Gallup out there.
He's a beast. That touchdown catch that he had, that was one of the best catches I've seen all year round.
I think he's going to be a free agent after this year. But yeah, their offense is so good, especially at the skill positions, that when they kind of falter a little bit, you're like, what's wrong with the Cowboys? And it's just they're not meeting my expectations I have.
I'm going to need them to clean that up. All right, so the other news, so that was Thursday Night Football.
We're off and running week 13. The other news is Brian Kelly's now a Southerner.
No one ask any questions. $100 million, he's a Southerner.
Larry the Cajun guy. I wish we could have had a bet on this because I'm not even going to be mad at Brian Kelly for this because this is just college football coaching 101.
I love it. Lincoln Riley is now a Cali, bro.
He's going to be like, what's up, dude? Yeah, they just take the lives of other people. It's like that Ethan Hawke movie.
What's that movie called? Taking Lives, I think, is actually called. When he's a serial killer and he just takes the lives of other human beings brian kelly's just he's that brian kelly's a sponge he absorbs whatever culture you put him in yeah let's just be thankful he didn't take the grambling job because that that first speech would have been it would have been a little bit different yeah but he uh it was very funny i don't know it's gonna be a weird fit for him i'm excited to watch it just because why not and then we also got it was very funny.
I don't know. It's going to be a weird fit for him.
I'm excited to watch it just because. Why not? It was very funny, though, when he came out and he was like, I'd like to thank my family.
Family, yeah. Yeah, Ethan Hawke taking lives.
The great state of Louisiana. It also, we found out that LSU, that terrible, terrible video that they posted that looked like a Doug's video, what? It was actually stolen from Notre Dame.
I kind of respected that move, by the way. It was a Notre Dame video that they just put a green screen and they voiced over every time Brian Kelly said Notre Dame.
Didn't they also change the lapel pin that he had from an nd to an lsu which i i actually love it i don't mind it at all this this is petty wars yeah college football if you're going to be the villain and steal another team's coach like really lean into it and be like yeah we got him what are you going to do about it here's a poorly constructed ransom video we made yes um all right anything else before we get to oh we went to the mecca tonight h I went to the Mecca. We saw actually a very good basketball game.
Bulls-Knicks. Not the best basketball game tonight, though.
That would be the Oklahoma City Thunder and the Memphis Grizzlies. Drake curses back.
It was the worst loss in NBA history. They got the brakes beaten off him.
Free Dort. Not counting this against Dort.
Hashtag free Dort. Yeah, and Shea Gilgis.
You've got to free him as well.

But yeah, the Thunder. And John Morant wasn't playing.
Don't worry, the Thunder. You have like 75 first-round picks.
Oh, I forgot to mention this. This is actually the last thing before we get to the weekend preview.
If the season ended right now, you know how we always do it with the playoffs. Did you see this? I'm sure you did, PFD, but I don't know if everyone else did.
But if the season ended today in the NFL, the NFL draft would go first pick Detroit, second pick Houston, third pick Jacksonville. Everyone expects that.
Fourth pick Jets, fifth pick Jets, sixth pick Giants, seventh pick Giants, eighth pick Eagles, ninth pick Eagles. So six picks in a row for three teams.
It's kind of a fun little thing. I want to see the Eagles try to package that and then move up to where the Jets are and see how much the difference.
Break out the old Jimmy Johnson draft value chart and let me know what they'd have to add in to move up like two spots with two of their picks. Well, if Gettleman's still there, he would probably trade his sixth and seventh for the Jets' fourth straight up.
The Jets have three picks in the top. And then draft the same offensive lineman twice.
We really want to be committed to this guy. Alright, let's get to it.
There is one last last thing. Today, we should celebrate.
I feel like this is something that Jake would really... Our 500th episode.
Yeah, 500th episode. Big 500.
But this is something Jake would really appreciate. Today's date is 1202-2021.
That's too many numbers. Which is a palindrome.
And an amigram. And if you flip it upside down, it's the same upside down as it is right side up.
Hester Moffat, the rest of me. Wait, so what is it? Do it again.
These are things I have to see. I can't be told them.
Forwards and backwards. So this is what the Bucks did, right? Watch this trick, big cat.
Okay, okay, okay. Flip it upside down.
Turn your laptop upside down. Wait, wait, wait.
Let me just wait. 12-0-2 22.
Okay, got it, got it, got it. And then upside down.
It's like the boobs trick on the calculator. Yes calculator yes got it that's what an amigas ah but no one writes their ones and twos like that calculators do robots do now they're fucking billy taught us about that like if you did it like this it wouldn't if you did it like this so one two it's still oh two, 2, 2, 0, 2, 1.
12, no, I got it right. 1, 20, 22, 0, 2, 1.
That was so confusing the way you just said those numbers. 12, 0, 2.
Yeah. 1, 20, 22.
Don't listen to Billy. 0, 21.
This doesn't, I mean, this doesn't... Yeah, it looks the same.
Same. It does.
The exact same. It looks the same.
Perfect. Retuspect.
I'm so bad whenever... If you say, like, more than three numbers in a row, I've already blanked it out.
It just doesn't work. Yeah.
Our brains aren't built to hold that sort of... That's why God invented calculators.
This is coming from the guy who forgot his pin number that he had for a decade.

So no surprise.

I can't figure this one out.

But that is a cool fact.

Fun fact.

The scorigami of dates.

Oh, there's one other thing about the Saints game tonight.

The blindside block that they called on the Saints fullback.

I think that the NFL just likes to sprinkle in one or two of those calls every Saints game

just to remind Sean Payton, like, I still hate you. We're still at war right now.
And he'll probably just go ahead and suspend or find the fullback because Goodell loves to do that. If there's a bad call that everyone's mad about, he'll actually come over the top and back up his officials and be like, actually, it was the right call by the letter of the law, and it's worth of a fine.
Yes, absolutely. Yeah, Billy? Last thing.
I do have a small update on that wristband story. Turns out the Patriots have launched an investigation with the NFL to find out if the wristband has been stolen.
So maybe you were the one who kind of catapulted this. Billy's a narc.
I actually feel bad because I'm a narc. Yeah, you are a narc.
But someone else narc'd first. Stop snitching.
Okay. It's on brand for you.
Okay. Yeah, it's very on brand.
NARC. All right.
Let's get to our weekend preview and MLB lockout talk. Okay.
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Discover the craftsmanship behind every bite at boarshead.com. Before we do the weekend preview, we are going to address MLB lockout, and we are going to do it in a way that only we know how everyone in this room has read one single article about the lockout we are then going to use all of the the information we have uh absorbed from that now note pft read his article yesterday yeah i'm a bit of a brown nose on that one yeah but also you might have lost a little information.
Oh, I definitely, yeah, I did not

retain it. So, let's do it.

Roundtable, everyone can hop

in with the article they read.

I'll start.

Rob Manfred

said, we understand it's bad for the

business. So, I'm going to probably take Rob

Manfred's side, because he said it right there in

the article I read, that

he understands this is bad for business. The lockout is bad for the business.
Lockout is bad for business and bad for the fans. Right.
I read an article on Breitbart.com yesterday, and Rob Manfred is doing the lockout, and they're doing the lockout now because if they waited any longer to do it, then it would impact opening day. So they're doing today what I would just push off until much later and then suffer the repercussions because we would miss games.
I also read that the players want a higher ceiling before the luxury tax kicks in. The owners say, why don't we just do a higher floor? Let's increase the basement level instead of raising the roof.
Got it. Okay.
Anyone else? Oh, I also got one other note. Petty Wars.
I think I read a very slanted for the MLB side article now that I'm saying this. Because it was all Rob Manford quotes being like, this is a shame.
It's too bad they can't figure it out. But unfortunately, the assignment was to read one single article.
Petty Wars MLB removed all player photos and news from their websites. I think that's just legal wars.
Legal wars. But also petty wars.
I read. I must have read a Tony Clark players article.
OK, this is good. This is called seeing every side of the story here.

Tony Clark was throwing shade on Rob Manfred by saying,

it would have been beneficial to the process to have spent as much time negotiating in the room

as it appears it was spent on the letter.

So he's saying...

He said your letter is too nice.

Yeah, he's saying there's not good faith.

They don't want to negotiate.

Manfred just wants to type up a letter and be done with it.

What about Rob Manfred?

He said, we understand it's bad for business, Hank.

He understands.

It's bad for business.

But does he understand?

Maybe he could understand a little bit more it being bad for business

if he wasn't spending all his time selecting appropriate fonts for the letter.

It sounds like this letter is a real problem.

Also, I don't know how long it takes to take everyone's photo off the website,

but that might have been a little bit of time, too. They could have used negotiating.
But I'm still Team Rob Manford here. Billy? I took notes.
Oh. First point.
The union wants younger players to be paid more. Okay, that's good.
I do think it's weird how in baseball you're extremely poor in the minor leagues. And then once you get to Major League Baseball, then it's all gravy from there, right? because in the minor leagues i feel like players have to room with each other and like share toilet paper it sounds like jail are uh the uh guy i think his name's tony who i follow i've been following for a long time very funny twitter account uh who remember he was the blues fan who found solosity yes yeah he had a very funny that was like, baseball's the one sport where you just eat ramen for like seven years, and then one day they give you $100 million.
Yeah, exactly. That's exactly what happens.
You crap into a trash can while you're in the minors, and then you get to the big leagues, and next thing you know, you're giving away Ferraris. Yes.
Okay, so Billy, what do you think? There's three more points. Oh, sorry.
Sorry. Sorry.
Pro or anti-union?

This is all I got out of it. Just the facts.

Just the facts.

We're just reporting the facts. Rob Manfred says this is bad for business.
Just want to reiterate that. Owners want to reallocate spending towards young players because they value them more.
Not because they're cheaper. Got it.
Because they value them more. They value them more.
So they want to pay a guy $2 million instead of $1 million instead of pay a guy $300 million instead of $250 million. That makes sense economically.
Third point, union wants spending increased on salaries because revenue increased. Okay.
Yeah, but what about COVID? Then here's the checkmate. He said revenue increase.
But what I'm saying, what about COVID? Forget COVID. Billy, what about, so it says revenue increased.
Is that the revenue of actually the baseball team, or is that the revenue for, in certain circumstances, the surrounding district of the ballpark? Because that's totally different. No, for the baseball team.
Okay. Got it.
Then this is the checkmate where the owners checkmate them because he is team owner no no but so in the leagues that were revenue increases spending on salaries increased some of the salaries are paid by the league and that means they need to put in a salary cap and then that's what what league has salaries that are paid by the league. Part of them you mean minor leagues nfl nba nhl wait oh in nfl salaries are paid by the teams but the teams get revenue sharing no they're paid by their owners the owners spot here boys it sounds like we have to read at least one more article this was an all i know is again i'm gonna reiterate, again, I'm going to reiterate that it's bad.
Rob Manford knows it's bad for business, and unfortunately, it's out of his hands. He has no ability to impact change here.
I have to stay woke on this whole situation. This is the most that we've talked about baseball and part of my take since the season was over.
Is there really a lockout, or are they just telling us that there's a lockout and the players are free to come and go? It's like a wag the dog situation where it's a fake lockout.

It was also cool that basically everyone panicked before the lockout

and did their free agency, which was nice to have free agency again

in November and December, which usually last year we didn't have it

until like February.

Shout out Marcus Stroman.

Jake.

Jake will hopefully bring some clarity for us.

So I read the CBS Sports article.

Basically, there are a plethora of issues that they're fighting over.

From the player's perspective, there's a declining average player salary.

They want to boost that up.

Teams are purposely holding players back, prospects back.

Chris Bryant.

Yeah, to delay their arbitration which I totally, I don't fully

understand to be transparent.

I understand it. I know what arbitration is.

Arbitration is a hilarious

process. Arbitration is you sit down

in a room and your agent

gives the salary that you think you're

deserved. Then the team gives the salary

that they think that you're deserved.

And then a guy opens up an envelope

and says the number that he believes is the number

that they deserve. And then whoever's number

is closer, they get all that

Thank you. they think that you're deserved and then a guy opens up an envelope and says the number that he believes is the number that they deserve and then whoever's number is closer they get all that suggested it's kind of like dealer and oh yeah exactly yeah but the uh i agree that they have to figure out that rule because it does make no sense i it was for people who don't follow baseball there's a clock that starts when you get drafted in your service time clock.
So famously, it's happened multiple times with multiple teams, but Chris Bryant was good enough to be on the Cubs opening day roster. Theo Epstein was like, if we hold him back for 15 days, I think it was 10 days, he then gets another year of holding his rights.
Right. So it's a stupid rule.
I think that if it continues, you can't really blame teams for doing it, so they've got to fix the rule. And there's a tanking problem, which I guess the players understandably saw.
The Orioles are losing 100 games a year. There's like five teams that are good in baseball.
That's what the issue is. There's so many...
I'm sorry, I'm getting out of my depth. This was not included in the article that I read, read so i won't say anything else i think the only way you could fix the tanking problem is just have the baseball season end before football starts that's a good idea too right there also this says also less games less chance to tank like think about it this way if they played 100 games no one's gonna have 100 losses no one's takingets according to Frank.
I won 162 so they'd probably be able to win 100.

I also read that they're thinking about

doing, and this is one thing that I'm totally in favor

of, the owners are suggesting

that they do an NBA style draft lottery

instead of doing what the

procedure is that they have now. So that means

that they would be using a ping pong ball machine.

So I like that.

Yes. All in all a fluid situation, which we kind of saw with COVID, which is kind of annoying, but they won't give real answers until something happens.
Okay, so we have someone who can tell us everything. That's the most you're going to get.
I think that was actually a pretty good. That was guys on labor.
Yeah, that was a really good explanation of what's going on. All right, let's talk some NFL.
Let's talk some sports that people watch. No offense to baseball, but let's talk some NFL.
Week, oh, by the way, so I just went to look at the NFL schedule, and all the preseason games in baseball are TBD. That's cool because of the labor stoppage.
Alright, week 13.

I know you guys hate when I do this,

but I have to give the speech again.

We are now at the point where there's not going to be Saturday football

after this week because of college football championship

week. We're getting down to it.

The fact that there's only five games left,

that's fucked up. Why are you doing this?

Because I want everyone to be warned.

One day everyone hearing the sound of their voice is going to die.

Yeah, let them know. Well, they're not going to die in two months, hopefully.
Yeah, but I don't want to know this. I want to pretend like I've got football for the rest of my life.
Yep. Okay.
Well, I'm going to keep just letting everyone know just a little. Ignorance is less.
Cherish the moment. Nope.
Cherish the moment. This week kind of stinks.
This week kind of stinks. There's some weird games, mismatches.
But let's get to it jake do you have the updated yes congrats to pft five and oh wow extra turkey pick thank you nice big cut you and i'm all right i did not bet i think i bet one of them i had a very very bad week last i'll get to it later very response actually i am in the midst of my most responsible decision making ever gambling i'll. I'll explain later.
The two of us went 4-0 in our regulars, lost our turkeys. So overall, Hank still with a nice two-and-a-half game lead on PFT, who's alone in second, so you're in the dangerous spot.
Jake, Billy, Big Cat tied at 26-23, and Liam at 25-24. So PFT and Liam.
Hey, Bubba, I got an idea. Six weeks to go.
I'm listening. What do you think about convertible? Oh, I love it.
Convertible, take it across Route 66? Yeah. I love it.
I'm actually excited about this now because Big Cat and Hank never let me rent a convertible when we go on the road. Again, again.
Because it's always in the middle of January. No, that actually has nothing to do with it.
It's the fact that we have a five-man operation with a bunch of camera equipment. Yeah, but a convertible.
And I think about the guys behind the cameras, and a convertible never makes sense. A convertible.
Right. Yeah, a bubble convertible.
We're going to get two of you. We're going to get two of you.
I was going to get two of you. Hell yeah.
Maybe a Camaro. Yeah.
I don't like having to be the parent sometimes and be like, convertible makes no sense for five of us. No.
With camera bags and shit. There are other ways that we can deal with that.

We're getting a convertible.

I want, you know what?

I'm going to pull a Billy and adjust my picks on a weekly basis so that I try to win second

place.

There we go.

There we go.

Hank, get us started.

Favorite.

Favorite.

We'll talk about each game we touch on.

Ravens minus four and a half versus the Steelers.

Chalky pick, but I love it.

I hate it.

But I'm also stupid because I still think like Mike, the problem I'm having with the Steelers right now is they're very bad, and Big Ben is very bad. But Mike Tomlin is the quintessential, like, rah-rah, when you count them out coach.
They're going to play one more good game this year. Why not against the Ravens? I mean, this is why they invented the cliche throughout the record books when the Steelers and the Ravens get together they also these two teams don't like each other this is old school AFC North football I I liked the Steelers a lot in this game and and the Ravens the Ravens are like quietly they're they're winning but they're not playing well they're covering though well they didn't yeah they uh they didn't Sunday night yeah they covered Sunday night they lost to the Dolphins they didn't cover the opening line against the Bears they lost the Dolphins I don't think they covered against the Vikings they did look like shit last week even though they covered like that was that's not a good game for the Ravens right they're not saying that's one of those rare we lost or we won but let's still burn the tape all.
All right, so listen, the Steelers are bad. I'm not going to sit here and say the Steelers are good.
I'm just very worried. I'm going to look right now of when the Steelers are going to decide to have their last stand and everyone's going to be like, oh, my God, are the Steelers back? No.
Mike Tomlin's just really good at getting everyone pumped up for these games. Maybe it would be the Chiefs in week 16.

Maybe that's four, by the way.

What?

Minus four.

Minus four.

All right, so Hank's on the board.

It's a 425 kickoff.

I kind of like that.

I like that we get to watch that game in the afternoon.

They're probably going to go double renegade in Pittsburgh.

This feels like a double renegade game.

It's cheating to do that.

Yeah, but, I mean, they're going to do it.

I think you can only pull it out once or twice a season.

And against the Ravens at home, yeah, this smells like double renegade. Yep.
Yep. There's only three.
I don't know. There's four four o'clock games.
All right. Liam, Bubba, your favorite.
I'm taking Eagles. Mine is six and a half.
I like it. I have a new system.
Very complex of just betting against the Jets. Oh, yeah.
Okay. That's smart.
I like that. I do think you get a bonus.
I saw a stat today that in all the advanced stats, Zach Wilson is last in every single one. Well, they can't be that advanced then because he's the future.
He is the future. We did have that he didn't throw an interception for like six consecutive weeks.
That's true. Including a bye week in all the injuries.
In the United States, I mean. I like it just because it feels like the Jets are getting credit for beating the Texans, and who should get credit for that? Yeah.
Also, this is Joe Flacco revenge game. He's probably not happy with the way things ended in Philadelphia, bringing Gardner Minshew, shipping him up to Broadway.
I actually like the Eagles in this. If you look at the deep numbers that we've been talking about,

this is a system play for that.

So the Eagles didn't cover last week. The Jets

covered last week. And won.
Yeah.

I'm taking the Eagles minus seven. Yeah.

Okay, so that's your pick as well. Alright, I'm gonna

take...

I will take the

Vikings minus seven, which

also would be a deep numbers

system play because they didn't cover against the 49ers.

The Lions covered against the Bears.

I just think the Lions

I'm sorry. Vikings minus seven, which also would be a deep number system play because they didn't cover against the 49ers.
The Lions covered against the Bears. I just think the Lions, like at what point are we going to stop predicting the Lions are going to win a game? Because that felt like the Thanksgiving Day game against Andy Dalton and a Bears team that kind of sort of fired their coach midweek was the time for the Lions to get a win.
And now we're getting down to it. We're getting down to it.
They have the Vikings this week. They go to a mile high.
They play the Cardinals, the Falcons. There's maybe the Falcons.
Maybe the Seahawks. Maybe the Seahawks.
I think it's this week. You think it's this week? So you're going to take the Lions plus seven? No.
Okay. Take a money line.
Oh, God. Let's go, Hank.
Okay, got it. Yeah, I just don't.
I think the Vikings are a good team that has a bad record, and now they get to play a bad team. That should be a double-digit win.
I'm predicting alternate line. I want the Lions to win, but I would not touch them with actual money.
Nope. Billy, Billy, your favorite Raiders by two and a half Fuck off Jerk.
Well, I think, you know, Washington's Time's gonna run out Are time's gonna run out? Time's up? You've been kinda getting lucky We don't do that, Billy Getting lucky? Fuck you getting lucky We that guy attacked PFT in a tweet You don't win lucky games three weeks in a row in the NFL. You don't beat Tom Brady with luck, Billy.
It's the lucky. You don't? No.
Fuck you. Stop saying lucky.
Don't apologize. I won't.
I'm not going to apologize for winning. Yeah, that guy I tagged you and that's what Billy's saying.
That guy was like, yeah, the Washington football team, don't apologize for wins in the NFL. There is no...
I mean, there is such thing as luck, but who the fuck cares? I mean, Billy's right in a way because I do agree that time is running out in Washington. I had that spidey sense that started to tingle.
I didn't know what was going to be coming next. I did not, in my wildest dreams, predict that RG3 was about to say that he got sexually harassed while he was on the Washington football team.
Don't know what happened. We'll have to wait and see what the book says about it.
I'm kind of thinking maybe Dan Snyder was like, hey, RG3, you want to fuck my wife? Ooh. That'd be spicy.
Hot wifing. I saw this stat.
That's what it's called. Hunter Renfro has like 78% catch percentage when he's targeted and it's just an insane amount of his productivity compared to his draft stock.
Oh, wow. I would argue that the Washington football team, of their five wins, none of the lucky ones have come in this three-game stretch.
They did get lucky against the Giants with that, and they got a little lucky with the Falcons with that across-the-field pass at the end of the game, but they beat the Bucs, they beat the Panthers, they beat the Seahawks. Those weren't lucky wins.
He saw my tweet. He saw me tag that guy.
That's probably what it is. This is an original thought.
I was just like, Washington's been winning. It's time for them to lose.
Okay. That's different.
That's different. And I actually agree with that.
Yes. That's different.
Don't say that the previous wins were lucky because I don't think they were. They put a beat down on Seattle.
They're getting lucky. No, see, now you're doing the thing where you just agreed with us, and then you're going back to your original point.
If you don't put beatdowns on teams that almost tie the game, that's time to fly. That's true.
If you look at the time possession, Hank. That's bad.
42. That's bad for the football team.
It would have been a double-digit victory if we had a kicker that had a hamstring. And guess what? We just signed a new kicker.
His name's Brian Johnson. Same as the dude from ACDC.
So that's cool. Let me be the arbiter of this now that we learned what arbitration is.
PFT's wrong in saying it was a beatdown. Billy, you're wrong in saying they got lucky.
But I think we can all agree the theory of they've been winning a lot. It's time for them to lose.
That up in court yeah i know i will i will concede that point to billy i'll also just say maybe for the last time if the season ended today the washington football team would be in the playoffs correct so fingers crossed for omnicron or whatever it is it's just time for them to get unlucky what was that facing i was you know last time rooted for COVID. Yeah.
I didn't root for COVID. I just said it.
I didn't know what Omnicron was. Fingers crossed.
Yeah, you said I hope Omnicron shows up. No, but then Hank said the last time we rooted for COVID.
We didn't root for COVID last time. We just said they were a fraud.
Now you're rooting for it. Well, yeah.
I guess kind of the same thing. Yeah.
But you specifically did root for it. According to the studies that I've read about Omicron, and by studies, I mean I overheard Billy having a conversation with somebody earlier.
Nice, Jake. It's safe.
All right, Jake, go ahead. Taking the Dolphins minus four against the Giants.
A little bit of a homer pick, but Daniel Jones, not 100% it seems like. 500 by Christmas.
You don't believe in Mike Lennon? No. This just feels like a field goal game.
This feels like a two-point game. All right.
This is actually the classic case of the Giants ugging up a game, I think. Yeah, it feels like a two-point game.
They could ug around. It's like a 17-15 game.
Uh-huh. And one team kicked five field goals.
Mm-hmm. Hank, your dog, you like all the dogs this week? I like a lot of dogs per usual.
I was going to take the Falcons plus 11, and then I remembered. There's a dude waiting in Tom Brady's locker room to steal his jersey? No, that there's voodoo magic in the room, and when there's voodoo magic going on, you don't bet against it, or you have to ride it.
You have to ride the voodoo magic big cats 11 and 0 betting games betting bears games he did a pre game pre-season prediction where he went through every game he's 11 and 0 on those predictions it's ridiculous he has the bears beating the cardinals this weekend so plus seven and a half is just the easiest bet ever and i the reason why i brought this to attention because you probably shouldn't talk about a one, it was brought to my attention, and two, I do not think the Bears are going to beat the Cardinals this week. But yeah, on Red Live Radio, before the week one, I went through the schedule and I'm 11-0 right now.
Take that fucking Raiders coin flip, dude. Yeah, I'm going up against the Raiders coin.
So I would love for you to beat the coin this week week, that'd be wonderful Actually, I think, you know what, if you're both wrong this week

That's like a tie between

It's going to be like John Henry versus the

Steam engine, so you have to keep going up

Against the coin

Big John Henry?

Alright, go ahead Bubba, you're underdog

Wait, so you're taking the Bears

Taking the Bears plus 7.5 against the Cardinals

Is Kyler playing?

Is Justin Fields playing? I don't think so. Is Kyler playing? No idea.
Again, I'm just going to base off. Andy Dalton versus Colt.
One hour ago, Cardinals are expected to have Kyler Murray and DeAndre Hopkins on the field this Sunday, barring a setback. This is one of those games that I will say the only thing the Bears have in their favor is that their field is always a shit show come December, so hopefully that slows Kyler Murray down.
That's about it. Okay, Bubba.
I'm going against Jake and taking Giants plus four. It was kind of what you said, but I feel like it's just like a sloppy game.
It'll be close. Sloppy.
Maybe a little rain.

Everyone's wet.

Gross.

Field.

Slipping.

All right.

PFT.

Are we getting any snow this weekend?

I don't know.

Hope for some snow.

I'm getting the Seahawks.

Plus three and a half.

Is your fridge full?

What's up? Is your fridge full?

What do you mean?

Or your freezer, sorry.

Plus three.

Plus three.

Plus three? Plus three. I don't understand the reference.
Put beers outside? Yeah, I'll put beers outside. Fuck yeah, you will.
Are you going to put beers outside, Hank? If it snows. You can do it in cold weather in general.
It's not just a snow thing. Anytime.
Why did that set Hank off? Love beers outside. Beers outside.
It's back. It's back in the week.
Okay, my... Reminder for you before you make this pick, a reminder from last week, do not bet the Chargers.
Fuck. Okay.
Is it actually your pick? Yes, my pick. It's a good pick.
It's a good pick on Sunday. Yeah, plus three.
I was like, well, they'll keep it close. It's going to be...
Who can decide between the Bengals? The Bengals and the Chargers have to be the most volatile. I don't know.
You know what this game makes me think of right here? This game absolutely makes me think tie. Can I predict a tie? So then I should take the plus three.
I'm predicting it. My numbers are telling me this is going to be a tie this week.
Okay, so that sucks. Thank you, Jake.
I'm going to take Washington football team then. Thank you.
Alright, Washington football team plus two. I really did like the Chargers because it does like...
I love the Chargers. I don't think the Chargers are good.
I think the Bengals might be good, but they're also due for a loss. So, this is like both these teams are basically the same exact team where they will have stretches where they look incredible and then stretches where they look terrible.
So put them together. Who the fuck knows? Take the three.
I think all we know about these two teams is their average is usually slightly above average. Right.
If you look at the totality of every game that they played. All right.
So I'm taking Washington football team plus two. Billy.
Jets, six and a half. We have a lot of Eagles favorites in this room, so I think the flip's going to be there.
Billy, you know what I just realized? You could have easily just started picking the opposite side of each game and we wouldn't have figured it out. If you were just now taking Washington football team, we would have been like, all right, Jake, what's next? I know.
People have been telling me that the whole time. I could have just been going 500, but I realized that 500 won't actually keep me in the middle of the pack.
So I corrected I'm still in the middle of the pack. Where do you think the middle of the pack is going to be? The middle of the pack is probably going to be around 53%.
Oh, wow. That's pretty good.
That's a great pack. We're sharps.
Yeah, we're sharps. That's what it is right now.
I know, which is crazy. We're all about 500.
There will be a week where we fall off. It's because we hit all of our unders every week.
Yes. We went perfect in the favorites last week, too.
Wow. Hank, I'm sorry.
Oh. What's the win? Okay, Jake, your underdog.
I'm fading, Hank. I'm taking the Steelers plus four.
They looked awful last week. Can't look worse.
They're at home. What's the saying, PFT? You got to throw out the record books when these teams get together.
No love lost, Jake. Exactly.
I'd be rooting for Mason Rudolph. Like every time I bet the Steelers.
Oh, yeah. Big Ben's so bad.
So bad. But it is the Tomlin effect.
Tomlin is like Tomlin could have a team that's just. Can't fix broken, though.
For a temporary stay of execution Tomlin can do it Are they going to be listening to music? That's what I want to know Playpool suggestion He probably will do something Where before the game He'll be like Fellas I've been thinking long and hard about it We go beat the Ravens Music all week And everyone goes Fuck yeah Alright You. Alright, you're over Hank.
We've talked about this sloppy toppy. That means some crazy shit's going to happen.
Plus it's so low. So I'm taking the Giants Dolphins over 40 and a half.
Okay. That's a it's always alive no matter what.
Yeah, because it's so low. Yes.
The number 40 and a half is a gross thing to say for football. You just need like 10 points by halftime.
I have that as my under, but now I might change because what you said makes sense. You're never dead in that.
If you have 13 points at halftime, you're very much alive. Okay, Bubba, you're under.
By the way, Tua is awesome.

That comparison?

Yes. I'm going to do Falcons

Bucs over 50 and a half.

Seems fun. Love it.
No Antonio

Brown, but that's not really different for the Bucs.

They don't have anything really to adjust to.

I did see a very funny quote from Gronk, though,

earlier this week. It said that

Tom Brady, he likes Tom Brady

so much because Tom Brady knows what

Gronk is thinking even before Gronk knows what he's thinking. Which, it's hilarious, and it's probably 100% accurate.
I think I know what Gronk, most people know what Gronk is thinking. Correct.
He's either hungry or drunk. 69.
Yeah. Or catch ball.
Yes, exactly. Catch, run.
Shout out the Bucs locker room. That was actually a very cool moment.
I don't know if you guys saw it. It went mini-viral.
But a kid in Michigan, I want to say, randomly was FaceTiming his teammates, and he put in one wrong number, and it FaceTimed Sean Murphy Bunting on the Bucs, and he was in the locker room, and he walked around, and he got Gronk, he got Brady on the FaceTime with these high school kids. That's pretty awesome.
It was very cool. Yeah.
Very cool. Something nice, you know? Nice little moment.
For the kids. Yeah.
Okay. You're over, PFT.
My over, I'm going to go with Chargers Bengals over. Okay.
10 and a half. Does the weather scare you at all? Not at all.
Do you know the weather? Nope. That's why it doesn't scare me.
Let me look up the weather. If you tell me, if I start thinking about the weather, sure, it's going to scare me.
I actually don't know the weather. I just feel like this is a weather game.
You're assuming the weather. I am.
I just assumed the weather. I'm going to look it up right now.
It's like if you don't look at the nutrition information on the side of a really unhealthy thing that you're about to eat, the calories don't count. I don't want to know the weather.
I just want to say 50 and a half, take the over. Okay.
The weather. This might also be Glennie Balls incepting me.
Yes. Showers.
Rain. Okay.
Lots of rain. Oh, yeah.
This is the game that Glennie Balls said there could be up to a half an inch of rain. That's not that much rain.
That's a lot of rain. Half an inch? I think so.
I don't think that's that much rain. Is that a lot of rain? No.
I feel like that's a decent amount of rain. It's like this much rain.
That's this much rain? Yeah, about that much rain. Subscribe to the YouTube.
Yeah, that's that much rain. Yeah, no problem.
What's a decent amount of rain? Jake, look it up for me. It's going to be 52, 26 to 26.
That gets me to 52. Yep.
All right, my over. Oh, I'm going to take the 49ers Seahawks, over 45 and a half.
I think both defenses are kind of suspect. It does suck the Debo Samuels out.
But this is my way of – I meant everything I said about the Seahawks. I will not bet on them.
I think Russ shouldn't have come back this early, but this is my way of betting on Russ maybe turning the corner and starting to play well without betting on the Seahawks. They're going to have to force feed the ball to DK Metcalf early in the game.
Yeah. Yes, I agree.
Because the way that he was checked out, he didn't want to be on the field anymore at the end of that game. Well, it's just very, very stupid.
I know there are coaches and they know more football than we ever know, but how do you not say, hey, first 15 plays script a slant to DK Metcalf that you know he's going to get open with because he's a beast. Yeah, we have maybe a top three receiver in the league.
He should probably get the ball in his hands occasionally. Also, we forgot about Tyler Lockett.
Did you know Tyler Lockett's a virgin? Yeah, I think I remember that. Yeah, that story kind of fizzled away.
Yeah. Kind of a weird...
Well, because he's with Russ, so it's not... He might be lying about it just to get more balls from Russ.
Yes. Like, oh, that actually makes sense.
On one hand, you got a guy that's plowing through four chicks in a night. On the other side of the field, it's a guy that sleeps alone all the time.
Russ is feeding that guy. Yeah, someone actually had the stat that it was like D.K.
Metcalf has like three catches since the foursome. Yeah, that was me.
Oh, there was. Of course.
Bonk. Go ahead, Billy.
You're over. Wait, wait.
You brought it up. No, I know because you brought it up.
Okay. He's a virgin.
All right. So then I brought it up, but then I remembered it was your stat because it was a sex stat, which you're on top of.
Credit to you. You're always on top of sex stats.
Billy. Colts, Texans, 45 and a half.
Okay. Thought it would be a good under, so I'm picking it to be an over.
This has the makings of a clowning. Exactly.
I think it's going to be a run-up. Clowning? Colts running up.
Run-up? Yep. A run-up.
Give me a predictive score. 38 to 14 Colts.
Wow.

38-14 Colts.

I'll take it.

How many touchdowns for Jonathan Taylor?

Or is this like a Carson Wentz get-right game?

I think it's Carson Wentz get-right game.

Sam Ellinger late-game touchdown.

In Texas, back home. In Texas.

What if Sam came in and got you that over?

Yeah, put him in for the blowout.

Okay.

I do think this is going to be a run-up game. I agree with you, Billy.
Run it up. All right, Jake.
I'm in with you, Big Cat. 45 and a half on San Fran, Seattle, by the way.
Half an inch is light rain and is not considered. What's real rain? An inch? Tornadoes is real rain.
An inch and a half? I think an inch. Anything.
Yeah, like, I would say like... Okay, so half an inch, I'm wrong.
Hand up. I know if they say like three inches, then you're fucked.
Got it. That's like a, that's a downpour.
You notice everything over two. Now this one says heavy rainfall is more than 0.3 inches.
So that is. We've been posting reports.
Half an inch is real rain. Light rainfall is considered less than 0.1.
Nothing confuses this more than weather. Billy, you said if it's over two then it's real rain? That's when you're looking outside and it's like it's fucking raining.
That's like cats and dogs is two. Cats and dogs is two inches.
That actually makes sense to me. Okay, thank you.
Hank, you're under. We'll wrap up with unders.
Talk about this game a talk about this game a lot steelers ravens under 44 big ben sucks their offense is terrible mike tomlin good coach he's gonna get the defense fired up they're gonna you know keep lamar jackson down but not out ravens cover under 44 okay i like that pick I I got Vikings-Lions under 46.5. This is a get-right game for Kirk, by the way, especially with Dalvin Cookout.
This is a Kirk stat game. You're under PFT.
I'm going to take the under in Broncos-Chiefs. I am too.
I think it makes no sense. I don't understand why I'm attracted to it, but it's 47 points.
It's in Kansas City. It's a primetime game.
This is like when we bet the over, which was our way of betting on the Chiefs. I want to bet on the Chiefs in this game, but I also want to take the under.
It makes no sense because you would think if you're going to bet on the Chiefs, then go ahead and tack the over onto it. I think the Chiefs win like 25 to 10.
Yeah, I'm taking it. My analysis is that the Chiefs defense is playing better.
The Broncos defense has played well since Vaughn Miller's been out. And on top of all of that, there's nothing that happens more often than on a Sunday night where I'm like, oh, I'll just take the over and it always loses.
This just reeks of a, oh, I'll just take the over and it loses. So under.
I also think that we have a high potential to see Drew Locke in this game. Really? Why? Because Teddy just gets knocked around a lot.
Yeah. But he came back even with an injury last year.
Yeah, but I'm saying. Because Drew Locke is that bad.
I'm saying that even when Teddy, when he's playing well, he'll still go out for a couple plays, and all it takes is one play for Drew Locke to come in. To fuck shit up.
All right, we both have the under 47. Go ahead, Billy.
Chargers-Bengals 15 and a half. Because you think it's going to be an over.
And there's also a half an inch of rain. Exactly.
Which is news that we just got. Yep.
Half an inch, though. Half an inch of rain.
So is news that we just got all right yep half an inch though half an inch of rain so one inch is a cat two inches is cats and dogs two inches like when you look outside and it's like it's raining cats and dogs yeah that's when people like oh it's raining what's three inches what's the third animal dude frogs yeah cats dogs and frogs sometimes it does. Yeah, it's called the plague.
Hydro tornadoes. Okay.
Jake, you're under. Eagles, Jets under 45.
This stream's 13-9. Okay.
13-9. I like that.
That's a good score. Although that would mean the Eagles didn't cover.
16-9? 16-9, that's a cover. Yeah, I can see that.
Hand and under. All right, games we missed, Jaguars-Rams.
I mean, if the Rams don't beat the Jaguars by 21-plus, they stay in the fraud and they go to extra fraud. I don't think that there's anything they can do in this game to get themselves out of the fraud pile.
If they win by, like, 45, they won't get out of the fraud pile, but I'll put a circle on them being, like, maybe not as bad as I thought. You know what I'll do? I'll do the Denzel Washington gift.
Okay, okay. Yeah.
I see you. Yep.
That's the best that they can do. You can check something.
You can check a box this week. Yeah.
And then we talked about everything else. Wow, we hit everything else.
And then we obviously will talk on – I mean, do you want to say anything about the Patriots-Bills game for the for the division we'll be there we'll see on Monday Buffalo for the division part one okay perfect so then we're good we'll we'll recap everything on Wednesday that'll be perfect um okay uh any other oh yeah I mean I have my game of the year with Georgia Alabama, if anyone has any thoughts on Saturday's games. Great football weekend.
One of my favorites with meaningful – like, very meaningful college football games and a slate that's weird, but who cares because everything matters right now. I'm a little bit afraid for Michigan.
And Georgia. I want – are you now? I'm not afraid for Georgia at all.
In the spirit of camaraderie and friendship, I probably wouldn't, but the money line signals go up. I definitely am scared about Georgia because I put that bet in on Sunday night right when we finished our show, which feels like 10 years ago.
Michigan, you think, will be? Iowa can't score. No, it's not that I'm afraid.
It's not that I think that Iowa's going to beat them. It's just that I'm afraid that Michigan's going to lose.
Because we have a lot of emotional investment over the years in Coach Harbaugh. Yeah.
And he's so close right now. I know.
That I'm more so afraid of just the disappointing, crushing loss that could be coming my way. Yeah, no, he goes, he wins this game.
And if you add what he did last week with this week, he goes from, like, it's a success. Like, Michigan has been a success for him because he got them to where they need to be.
And they're kind of the same team in certain ways. I know that Michigan definitely has a lot more speed, but they play similar styles of football where it's just like, we're going to count on our guys up front to bully the other team.
And so, I don't know. I hope my fears are unfounded.
Okay, so we're rooting for Michigan there. I am just because I want the Big Ten to have a representation in the playoff, and we'll see if Cincinnati finds a way to get screwed or if we can root for Notre Dame.
I want to put a future on Notre Dame, but it's very stupid. It's like 33-1, which would be fun.
Yeah. But you can't put a future on something like that and then lose it two hours later.
It would be absolutely absurd, though, if the college football playoff committee, they just said, well, you know what? Since Brian Kelly's not there, we're not going to give you the opportunity, which is a possibility. Wait, wait.
They already did say that. Well, no, I'm saying if it played out in the final rankings.
I know they've alluded to it, but I'm saying if it actually played out that way and they docked him because Kelly wasn't there and then they didn't get into the playoff because they didn't have their coach, by that logic, then LSU should make a massive leap in the Saints because they do have Brian Kelly. Yes, yes.
So either that or just rooting for if they hire Fickle and then having Fickle coach against his old team, that would be crazy. Did they hire Marcus Freeman full-time as the head coach? It feels like they did.
It's a very weird thing that's going on. I know he's the head coach right now.
I think they re-signed Tommy Reese. They did do that.
I know that. But I'm pretty sure they made him full head coach, which is, I don't know.
I mean, if he's the one who's recruiting everyone. Yeah, I think they are.
Yeah. So it's not even Luke Fickle time.
That's crazy. Good for him.
All right. Before we get to Fantasy Fuck Boys and our interview with him, we're going to get right back to the show.
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Finish fuckboys. Yo, yo, back boys.
Welcome back, Carter. What's up? What up? My stardom, my name is Seamus Sheehan.
Seamus Sheehan. Which island are you from? That's not the boot.
My stardom is hot cider. Cider.
Fuck eggnog. Worst holiday drink.
How hot? Hey. How hot? You need to win a holiday drink.
You take some applesauce. You take some Jack Daniels.
Put it in a pot. Boil it up.
Hot cider for the people. Applesauce.
Jesus Christ, that sounds delicious. My sit-em is dick pound.
Yeah. No nut November's over.
And this motherfucker said that Peng Shui is 100% fine after one video call. Oh, there he goes.
I trust my life to Dick Pound. He owe no shit.
Zoom call. That's it? That's it.
Wow. He's a sheep.
My sleeper is the sad guy looking out the bus and another guy looking out the other side looking happy. Yeah.
Yeah, it's a great meme. Classic.
Totally not overused. No, I like it.
You got the mountain on that side. Yes, that's a tremendous view.
Hilarious. Good, because it's two conflicting thoughts at once.
Me when the pod's out versus me when it's not. One dog's looking that way.
The other dog's looking this way. And then this guy's like, what do you want from me? Yeah, Hank betting on the Steelers with all of us, us Sadly and then Hank with his fucking Crazy parlay and the Chargers Still alive looking out the happy side Hank looking out The whole bus goes off the fucking cliff And he dies in a burning fire Not to bring up bold stop Hank looking at the mountain on one side And the mountain is applesauce Shit and then PFT on the other side looking out at some ice cold beers outside that very bus.
PFT looking at his refrigerator versus PFT looking at his backyard. All right.
What's up, you fuckheads? It's me, Chris Cuomo. Got some free time on my hands at the moment.
Fredo. I'm starting.
Hey. Hey.
Don't say that. That's a slur.
Leap that out. That's a slur.
It's like using some other words to some other people. Yeah, other bad words.
Yeah. All right.
I need to compose myself now. I'm starting using the phrase Paolo Crampero.
I feel like that one's got some legs on it. Paolo Crampero.
I'm just getting out in front of it before Colin Cowher and Skip Bayless uses it. This guy's more dehydrated than my brother's cannoli, if you know what I'm saying.
I'm sitting Zion Williamson. He's hurt.
He's hurt. He's getting fat again.
Had a little too much turkey for Thanksgiving. Take a seat.
We don't unit shame. But he's a little injured right now.
Maybe save some of the feasting for the seven fishes. They're a lot more nutrition friendly.
And then my sleeper. I'm sleeping Spotify.
I'm sleeping Spotify. Love you guys over at Spotify.
Thank you everyone that sent us a little message saying that you spent 30,000 minutes of your year listening to us. Dickheads jammer on like a bunch of idiots on this show.
We love you guys. Hell yeah.
Hell yeah. Kiss to death.
Mwah, mwah. All right, mom.
Give us the fucking bag, Spotify. Give us the fucking bag, Spotify.
I need a bigger refrigerator. What? My stardom.
Oh, sorry. What's up? Tommy Tortellini.
My stardom is Psycho T. I saw that guy last night.
UNC Michigan. Michigan stinks, by the way.
I fucking love Psycho T. Pussy.
I fucking love that guy. Oh, sorry that your guys have alcohol withdrawals and lose seven pounds because they can't drink while they play sports.
Paolo Cramparo. Oh, nice.
Got him.

My sit-em is my diet.

I found out today I can jump out of an airplane

and don't have to be 220, so

fuck that diet. I'm back, baby.

And then my sleeper is Tua.

Tua's getting compared to Tom Brady as a rookie.

That's no big deal, but Tua's

back. Real quick.
Pause.

I love the fact that your strategy

on the diet was to just get a second opinion On an airplane Like an aviation expert Until you found somebody that was like you can jump out of a plane I could still lose 20 pounds if I had to My diet plan was literally going to be Stop eating like 6 days before And just lose 20 pounds I would have done that Alright fuckboys back's Gio Testaverde. What's up, Gigi? Gio.
My stardom is Hunter Renfro. The guy just swallows balls.
Wait, we already heard this stat. I know, but it was written down from earlier.
This guy swallows balls. Just takes them.
All right. He doesn't drop them.
Anyway, my sit-up is Keith Obelman. Silence.
Fuck that guy. My sleeper is LeBron James because he's with the fishes.
Lay fishy. Something's fishy.
Lay fishy. Lay fishy.
Lay fishy, James. Lay fishy.
All right. Lay fishy was such a great skip.
Yeah, by the way, Spotify, that every year, end of the year rap, it blows my mind that everyone is so loyal and listens to so many shows, so thank you. It does.
It makes me feel bad that I'm not smarter, like that you listen to me being an idiot. No, I think that's part of the charm because we're giving them the gift of feeling like they're smarter than us.
Correct. Which you are, likely, if you're listening to the sound of my voice.
I want to get a Spotify thing. I saw Rusillo said he wants to know how many cheeseburgers he ate in a year like an end of the year wrap for more things I think I would love to know everything every stat in my life how many craps I took I want to know how many times I ordered delivery to my house instead of to the office the microchip and the vaccine everything except for screen time that's the one thing I actually don't want to know.
Screen time's bad. That's what happens in heaven.
Wait, tell you what they have in your stats? They have your stats. Allegedly.
I'm going to put up some fucking numbers in garbage time. Who has allegedly told you that? It's a Tommy Smokes tweet.
Yeah. Oh, got it.
You're... Wow.
We're at the bottom now. You're repurposing Tommy Smokes tweets for this show? There were several people who have tweeted that.
And I love Tommy, but... It wasn't my original take.
I wasn't claiming it. That's why I said allegedly.
Oh, that's a good point. That's not how it works.
You can't steal someone's joke and be like allegedly. No, Billy's right.
By saying allegedly, he implies that it was somebody else's Yeah. That's a really great way to literally steal someone else's joke.

I didn't steal it.

I'm pretty sure Tom's not the only one to tweet that.

Billy, give him a hat tip right now.

Tommy, it's a great tweet.

No, tip your hat.

Oh.

Yeah.

Respect.

There you go.

Top of the morning.

All right, Jake, what do you got before we get to Frank?

Yeah, one quick thing piggybacking off the fantasy segment.

Can you do it in the fuckboy's voice?

A guy on Quinnipiac, a game I'm calling this weekend. His name is Jacob Regoni.
Jacob Regoni. Give us Jacob Regoni from three.
Jacob Regoni, foot three. Oh, if you do that, I will make me very happy.
How about this? Jacob Regoni pulls up from Little Italy. Oh, I like that.
Feel free to use that one. All right.
Yeah, everyone tune in to Jake. Friday 7, Sunday 2.
Love it. Jacob Regoni.
I'm going to bet the game. Sounds like a chef at a restaurant that Rick Pitino would take a lady to.
Don't say that. Don't say that, Jake.
By the way, talking to the assistant tonight, as expected, they did not give me the... Yeah.
Rick. Slick Rick.
It's Rick Pitino. Sticky Rick.
Alright, Frank Caliendo, before we get to that, PFT, you had a quick word? Before we get to Frank Caliendo, I want to talk to you guys about my favorite sunglasses company in the entire world. It's Shady Rays.
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Okay. We now welcome on our good friend, Frank Caliendo, recurring guest.
He's back out on the road. Yeah.
Doing a little bit. Yeah.
He's got a hard rock in Atlantic city on December 3rd. And then he's got wind Creek event center in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania on the fourth.
So that's this weekend, Friday and Saturday. Good to see you.
Good to have you back out on the road. I have to ask, though, you said when you sat down, we asked how you're doing.
You said good enough. I'm getting older, and I'm traveling around.
It's just not the same. I mean, I used to get off a plane, and you're going to find this ridiculous, but I used to get off a plane and go play in a ping pong tournament.
No, that's awesome. We love that.
Yeah. Are you good? I'm pretty, yeah.
I've actually seen you practice before, like working on your backhand. You've got one of those machines that fires it at you, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Not Olympic level, but probably... Huh.
We have something of a semi-pro sports league here in this office. Oh, yeah.
And ping pong is one of the recurring events. You're going to have to play Jake.
You're going to have to play Jake. Is Jake here? We have a guy who's the best in the office.
He's the best one here. I'm willing to play.
I brought my paddle. You did? It's a lot like Roy Hobbs in The Natural where I carry it around in a trombone case.
So are you trying to shark people with that? Or are you just like a guy? No, it's a $250 $250 paddle. But you're carrying it everywhere.
Well, I carry it just in case a ping pong game breaks out. And you never know where that's going to happen.
For example, right here at Pardon My Take. Do you have anything that's booked up right after this interview? I do.
I have to fly out. What time? We could get done five minutes earlier.
That's all it's going to take. Yeah, all right, fine, fine.
Where's Jake? Is he here? Page Jake. Yeah, he's doing it.
All right, so we're going to sacrifice five minutes of this interview so that you can put Jake to- I'm fine with that. I only brought him like 23 minutes worth of material.
Okay, perfect. I am glad, though, that you're back on the road.
It's good to see comedians get back out there and start interacting with live audiences. You strike me as a guy that, and maybe I'm wrong about this, but over the years where I've seen you perform, like when I hear about you going on tour, your tour dates are largely around these types of event centers, and you've played your fair share of casinos before.
Yeah. And I'm always curious, when you're playing at a casino, do they set you up in the sweetest hotel room and if it can't possibly yeah i'm sorry yeah no i'm just curious like when you get to a really nice hotel room if you're there i don't know if you travel with family or whatever but if you're there on your own they give you like the biggest place what's your routine to get settled into oh i don't have a routine at all i just show i'm there for as little as i can be that's.
That's kind of, I get somewhere and I try to get home because I have two kids. Instantly, yeah.
That's, you know, my son and daughter, my son is 17. My daughter's 15 now.
So it's getting to the point where they don't care about me as much anymore. So I don't have to race home and I can race home for my wife.
But it's, you know, there is some of that. But it's kind of a situation where they were little kids.
I tried to be there as much as I could. So I would just get it out, and I just kind of have that as a habit.
Right. So I don't really – I hide.
I hide. I just stay away from everybody.
And that's about it. But I usually don't get there until the day of, and then I'm only there for five or six hours, and I leave at 6 o'clock in the morning.
So I don't – listen, I wish, listen, I wish I could give you a better answer. I just don't, I don't enjoy a lot in life.
You're, oh, okay. A lot in general.
That's part of my, yeah, I just, I just do things. I go on the road and I try to get home.
I try not to, but that's just my mentality. Yeah, no, it's, you sound like, um, and I've had moments in the past year or so where I've thought about this and it's terrible to say, obviously COVID aside, but I kind of miss i miss the idea that you didn't have any like hey are you going to come to this thing are you going to do this thing yeah i just say no to people yeah they're always like they're always asking me if i can go to something and i'm like i'm not gonna say yes and then not show up i'm just like i'm probably not gonna go i say no a lot um and it's and some people respect you for that some people think you're a jerk but i'd rather have the people think i'm a jerk for that than just saying i you know at the last second not showing up do you ever like you guys go somewhere where you're um where you you're hoping a really famous person is going to show up like this is years ago um i did shows in milwaukee at the riverside theater, I was texting back and forth with J.J.
Because I'd met him through Twitter, but we grew up in the same area in Wisconsin. And I was just, like, hoping he was going to come to the show and with his brothers.
And I was waiting to the last second. And the more famous somebody is, the later their decisions are made on where they're going to be.
Correct. Right? So, like, J.J., as famous as he is, you get to somebody like a Ryan Reynolds, you don't know if you're going to, you know, you're just hoping.
But it was one of those things where I'm just hoping, hoping, hoping, and then, you know, five minutes before the show, I'm coming. Okay.
All right. Hell yes.
Those kind of cool things. And then I remember doing this where I, his brothers were still in college and maybe even high school at the time.
And I knew stuff about them because I Wikipedia it. And he totally, JJ totally called me on it.
Because I'm like, you're the fullback and you're the tight end at the time. It's like, you don't watch this high school football right now.
And he's like, you Wikipedia that, huh? I'm like, absolutely. I'm also wearing shoes that are two inches high.
It actually would have been a lot creepier if you just knew a lot of stuff about TJ Watt and Derek Watt in high school. You've got to come clean at that point.
Yes. Yeah.
Yeah. But it's kind of fun to...
I wanted to have some information. Yeah.
Yeah. You came with it.
I mean, they're the nicest guys. Because I didn't want them to look...
Like, they weren't Derek and TJ at that point, and especially TJ. Right.
People just knew JJ for real. So I i was like i want these guys to feel welcome too um but i really care that jj's yeah uh we forgot we i should have started uh sorry for your loss uh with john gruden yeah isn't that something yeah so that's i think you were actually the person most people thought of like immediately after the news they're like oh john gruden got fired oh no frank caliendo is he gonna have to retire i'm gonna go back and we'll come back to that but in terms of it's this is funny years before i don't know if this still happens but if you google john madden i came up before him wow well that's that's how crazy that is the lord giveth and the lord taketh away you lose gruden but then they got the john madden special out.
People keep asking me, am I a part of that? That's a come up for you. I think they probably, and I'm going to milk it.
Yeah. All of a sudden, I'm in the news again.
I mean, Gallien does important for this, you know? You know, you might lose a guy that you can't do because of emails, and then you got another guy that you can do because of a documentary, and then boom. Paychecks keep coming in.
Yeah. One way or another.
I do look at it like that, too. I mean, that's one of those things.
Yeah. So Gruden, that was tough.
Yeah. I mean, Gruden was three minutes of my act.
So people, because I don't know if it's the algorithm or what, but that's stuff that would take off on Twitter and Instagram and stuff like that that so that's what people saw and thought that i was doing that all the time i'm like for three years i didn't even do any right so i'm not doing it on stage right i get worried this is where i get worried is somebody's just going to have a camera and they're going to put a you know take a little piece because my stuff is really about celebrating people there's nothing to celebrate there right now what about a... You could say, like...
I mean, Roger Goodell is a clueless anti-football pussy. Yeah, why not a dramatic reading of his emails? You think that would be really good for my career? Yeah.
Well, I think that's a bad... Well, it's not your emails, it's John Gruden's emails.
Right, but people will, like I said, people will associate, or you said, people will associate with me doing that, All of a sudden, it's just gone. I mean, I had everybody ask me to do that kind of stuff.
I'm like, I can't. Maybe a little.
All the stuff I do is corporate. That's all my stuff.
I'm like, I am in it for the money, guys. And I actually, like, being in it for the money and admitting that outright and being like, I'm corporate.
I want to be home. I'd rather be home.
I love that. I love the honesty.
I think it's the honesty is what's at there. Yes.
If my job was to do a lot of what you guys do and have fun, if that was my brand, to go out there and agitate a little bit and really push things hard, I think it would be fine. But it's very out of character for me.
And then people say why do you still do trump i go well trump's still in power you know he's still got power he might not be president but i can say pretty much anything i want you know it's that he's still at a high level there where it hasn't affected him and i look at gruden i go i'm also close to some people on the team i i know you know derrick carr has become a decent friend over. I spoke to the team a couple of times.

I think about some of that stuff, and I got weirded out by it myself,

I'll be honest with you.

There's a little piece of me that goes,

man, I feel like I'd be crushing some of these people

that let me into their world.

It was because of Gruden, but there were people there.

Mark Davis could have said, no, he can't be here, but he didn't. Did you get to meet Mark Davis? Yeah.
What's he like? Exactly what he looks like. That's awesome.
He was sweet, sweet, very sweet, nice. Coolest guy in the world.
Did you see his van? I did not. I remember, listen, I don't know if this is too much to say, but you guys would this guy I remember the first time I talked to the team they were on terrible losing streak both times I talked to the team they won by the way so they wanted me there all the time but it was I remember saying to Mark Davis I think you guys got something here it's going to turn around and he goes I hope so it was just like a very like a very sad you know the dutch boy hair thing yeah it was just a very like oh my god and he was just sitting outside of the elevators at the hotel i remember there was another time i remember the second time i went there the one that ended up on hard knocks that like they could not find antonio brown nobody knew nobody knew where he was i remember remember it.
People were looking for him, and just like he was behind a plant, like a plastic plant. His feet were falling off.
Yeah, I mean, that was the stuff that was on TV. There was other stuff.
You're going, what is going on? And nothing, you know, I don't think it fazed the team at that point, but it was kind of like weird stuff. I don't know.
Are there any voices that you work on? Should I say impressions or just voices? I like both. Both those are good.
Because what you do is a little bit more than voices. You actually get into the characters.
I try to find the person. Yeah, you do the facial things, which I feel like that's what set you apart sometimes from other people that do just voices.
Yeah, there's something you try to find the face. You try to find – I do these things on TikTok now because I'm young and hip.
These – it's like how to do an impression. One of the first things they do is teach you how to do the face or say what to do the face.
And I give an example. So for somebody like Donald Trump, it's like he's looking into an aquarium and mimicking the fish, right? You do this, that fishy face like that.

Or Michael

Keaton has the kind of thing where he's,

there's a smell in the room and he's been hired to try and

figure out what it is. Okay, so

it stinks. You know, that kind of thing.

You want to get nuts? Let's get nuts.

And then you find out how do they pronounce their

S's or vowels or something like that.

So, you know, Madden makes a face

like he just ate a full

lemon, that kind of thing right there.

So it's

I don't even do dead-on voices. I do more of impressions.
I find ways to create characters out of them because then you can do a lot more with it. I'm trying to think.
The old-school way of doing things is nail the voice and then you just have it that's that's like a very 70s ish kind of thing uh dana carvey had the big cartoon character version of something yeah and it's i like to be right in the middle uh you know daryl hammond's that same way he just nails things you're like oh my god um and i've had this conversation joey mulinaro yeah i talked with him a bunch of stuff he's he's great like when he does colin cowherd he's got the seven different things that cowherd does and you're going oh god yeah yeah yeah and the little laugh into something and you just you go those are the cadences those are the things that they get you into the into the characters and and make it fun and then you can do other things with it.

Samuel L. Jackson, I did a thing it doesn't even matter what you say, you just go

da-da-da-da

da-da-da-da-da

and you can fill in the blanks

for what it is.

Are there any impressions that you've worked on

that were like a little niche? Like something that

you just wanted to take on because you thought it would be fun?

Or at this point in your career, you're like alright, I need to be smart i'm going to go with the ones that are going to be the broadest you know the ones that's the thing if it can't attract enough of an audience the internet can do can make you change that a little bit because you can go for more niche stuff right you can try and find weird ones that are interesting on the whole the the bigger broader if somebody starts doing a commercial when charles barkley started doing commercials are you my five you know that that it's the five book box it rocks it rocks you know all those commercials that you do that brings somebody to more than just their sport they're doing something a lot more than that so are there niche people yes i mean i mean island boys uh i don't even understand what's happening big time Tommy. You know big time Tommy? The Island Boys would be great.
I've just seen some. I don't even know what's going.
I literally don't know what's happening. It's the old school way.
Is that what it is? Respect. Yeah, that's it.
You have to see big time Tommy. You'd be a great big time Tommy.
But yeah, go ahead. Well, I don't have your level with the Patrick Mahomes, but that's one that kind of works in there.
Everybody says Kermit the Frog. I think more Kermit the Frog and Frank Oz.
Yeah, I kind of do just like if Alex Jones took a bunch of helium. Let me explain something to you.
I would eat my neighbor if it was Patrick Mahomes. Yeah, Patrick Mahomes, I think they may even get a player.
You know, that kind of, it's in there. I found, this is the thing I always tell people, there's a weird thing with voices like Kermit the Frog, high-hole Kermit the Frog.
For some reason, that voice right there, if you bring it down a little bit, becomes John C. Reilly.
I had no idea. Did you touch my drum set? And then it could become Mark Ruffalo in Endgame.
I see this as an absolute win. And it becomes Joe Rogan after that.
Wow, Jamie, pull that up. Oh, my God.
So there's some of these voices are so similar. Chris Hemsworth is up here.
You bring it down. It's I'm Maximus Decimus Meridius.
And then it's Russell Crowe out of nowhere. So just finding those.
But back to your point, are there weird ones?

Yeah.

I mean, people love – Alex Jones himself is a niche person. But there are a certain group of people that if you say that, there's people who love them, people that hate them.
And it just drives people to care about it. Yeah.
I just think that if it were me, I would get into the...

My problem would be I like a lot of weird stuff that not a lot of people like. I just get locked onto something nobody cares about.
I'm fascinated with Mike Greenberg. I was listening to his show this morning, and it's a real problem that I have.
I'm the person that ESPN is marketing to when they're like, oh, shit, we don't have anybody to do six hours of the NBA draft. I know what.
Greeny's going to take care of it for us. But I would get too into these little niche things that I would focus too much on and then realize, oh shit, the entire rest of the world doesn't care about the same stuff I could.
I'm curious for you, do you ever do this for fun at all anymore? No. Or is it, yeah not really yeah and that's that's a totally fair

answer it's work i mean it's work it's i half my life is people hey be somebody who's better than you that's what that's what everybody is is like don't don't don't say or be what you are do the thing you do do the dance and i i don't have a problem with that because it's what i put i shouldn't say i don't have a problem with that i've created a lot of that. I told Julie Molinaro the same, like back in the day, when I first saw him come on, I go, make sure you do some sketches that are non-impression stuff.
Just do some stuff, even if it's sports, make sure you do a bunch of generic, create your own characters, because if I do something that sounds kind of like, you're doing Richard Dreyfuss. No, I'm not.
It's I'm right you know it's somebody I'm doing but I try to make them now I was doing a Dan Campbell kind of thing the other day and he turned into Matt Foley the motion motivational speaker yeah they slip into it it's very close it's you know I'd like to go to Starbucks you know it's just it's good and then but he does Dan Campbell does those freaking uh you know sound effects like you don't expect this jackass. What are you doing? The duck quack from the original Apple computer? He's got the cheek that he squeezes it.
Like one of those, you know? He gets a little bit of air in there. Yeah, he's got some interesting things.
I'm going to gas you up a little bit because you said, like, everyone wants you wants you to be somebody that's better than you you are actually probably the best at what you do of this generation i would say i in some ways the most known i depends you have to determine what is best i mean there are people who are better at dead-on impressions like nailing a voice there's a difference so you said voices or impressions earlier i like impressions because it's kind of gives you license to create something else with it people will say impersonation when i say impersonation i go i don't do any impersonations an impersonation is when you are in vegas you're dressing up as the person pretending to be the michael jackson guy that's what it is to me um so i some and I just had this, again, niche thing for sports.

Where I get in there, you know, and there weren't a lot of people doing that kind of thing.

You know, before the internet was around, before there were shows like your show, there weren't people doing and messing and doing a lot of comedy with sports.

It's like the one piece that's always been lost. Like, you know to do the daily show for sports it's it's actually impossible yeah no one's been able to pull it off yeah and i've had people come to me and say that and i'm like how many writers do i get right and they're like we just thought you could do it yourself i'm like no do you realize there are literally tons like maybe 10 15 20 writers on a show to create something that's we were actually really smart for for quitting our show on espn2 after one episode because we realized that it wasn't going to work out so we said take this job and shove it we're out good luck finding something to replace us i remember reading i remember reading about that like the next day i pulled it up like you guys were there and then you were gone.
I'm like, okay. Well, it never made sense of me in the first place.
They never actually really let us in the building. The closest we got was the parking lot for the interview with Scott Van Pelt, but they never actually brought us fully onto campus.
We're outdoor cats. Yeah.
Weren't you like in an ambulance? I remember you guys being in the back of a truck. A van, yeah.

A van, yeah.

That's what I remember.

I remember seeing the picture, like, you guys, like, whatever.

I'm still on the van.

I'm trying to get our intern, who's now full-time Billy, to sell it, and he won't fucking do

it.

It's a big point of contention around here.

I bet.

Yeah, it feels like.

I can still feel the tension.

Yeah.

All right.

Let's, this is the five minutes we're going to give you so you can go play Jake.

Oh, it is?

Because you need to play Jake. I had two things I want to tell you about.
All right. Tell us.
Two things the five minutes we're going to give you so you can go play Jake. Oh, it is?

Because you need to play Jake.

I had two things I want to tell you about.

All right.

Tell us.

Two things.

One of my favorite things just happened recently was I got a call from Jim Nance because they

do the Tony Romo and Jim Nance.

And for people who haven't heard it, it's just my Tony Romo is just him excited about

it.

Oh, Jim, this is going to be incredible and amazing and amazingly incredible.

Here we go, Jim.

And then I say, Tony, when something crazy is going to happen because it's like somebody messes with the the volume meters when nance gets excited but i he he called me via michael lombardi and uh because i talked to michael he said he was good friends with him and then nance left me the greatest message in the world he's like frankie jim nance how are you i was like well he's? I was telling him why I say Tony.

I'm like, I can't really talk as you.

All I can do so, I got one word that works.

It works, yeah.

And I can use it in any situation.

And I said, any time I try to do the impression of you,

it turns into Adam West, the original Batman.

So then I told him that, and then Nance starts doing it.

Adam West, he's like, to the Batcave, Robin.

So I was like, oh, this is awesome.

This is one of my best days ever when I called him back. You know, he orders toast, right? He carries around pictures of toast in his pocket, and he points at the exact color that he wants to a waitress at a restaurant.
He says, this is the toast that I want. I'm Jim Nance.
Please bring me my toast. Please bring me my toast.
I swear to God, not making that up. That's not that.
I can't tell. It's not made up.
You can Google it after. I know I'm a liar, but this one is actually the truth.
It is true. Jim, here we go.
The toast is a little bit off. Yes.
What are you going to do? Are you going to tip the waitress? Tony! Yes. I don't remember what the other thing was, so let's go play Pink.
Yeah, let's do it. Thank you, Frank.
And everyone go check it out. Frank's back on the road.
Yeah. Atlantic City on Friday night, and then Pennsylvania on Saturday.
Yep, absolutely, 100%.

Yes, go check it out.

FrankOnStage.com for tickets.

Boom, go check it out right now.

Thank you.

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Okay, let's wrap it up.

Fire Fest of the Week.

Hank, give it to us.

Oh. What? Uh-oh.
It could be over. Yeah.
What? I'm always nervous whenever you give the like. No, I think I know what it is.
Oh, actually, I think I know what it is, too. Yeah.
But I always get nervous when you're like, well. Well, it could be over.
I think you guys both know what it is, too. It could be over by now.
But like a month and a half ago i was playing warzone with mrags doing he was like coaching me trying to get a solo cumrags i'm sorry and uh i was like i'll get a win before the new season comes out which is next monday or tuesday and this was a month and a half ago and he's like well if someone said in the chat if they don't you'll get duct taped to wall i was like absolutely There's no doubt in my mind I'll get that win. No problem at all.
Have not got a win on Wednesday night stream for like seven hours. Came in second like four times.
I'm streaming tonight starting after we record the intro, which we just recorded. So I'm streaming tonight after this.
Okay. So wait.
I'm trying to think. You're streaming tonight after the intro, which we just recorded.
But by the time you hear this, it will have been last night. Yes, this will be the very end.
So there's a chance that I have one and things are good. If I have not one, I'm going to have to get duct taped to a wall for, we don't know how much time.
So I might be streaming when you hear this. When you wake up, I might still be streaming because I have set aside all my plans, plans got some energy drinks i'm ready to go all night if i have to because i refuse to get the detroit lions of war zone yeah i am currently and everyone's been saying like hanks this is the week that he gets it this is the week he gets it and it is and you find ways to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory i i would like to offer my services as a coach i think i can because i've won a few games i lost track of how many games it was like probably six or seven it was so many that i don't remember how much there were um but i'd like to coach you all right i'll take any i believe in you hank i'll take any help totally not rooting against you because it would be really funny if you had to get duct taped to a wall again right thank you big cat i appreciate that you're welcome i'll take BFD.
Okay. It would be a real shame if someone unplugged it right before you won.
It would be a fucking rat. What if you were down to the last two and then the person logged off right before you kill him? Oh, that would be a shame.
You win. Do you? You're the last person left.
Are you sure? Technicality? A win's a win. You take that helicopter ride out, it's a win.
Okay. Okay.
Good luck, Hank. Thank you.
I'm rooting for you. Thank you.
All right, PFT. Yeah, I got a little bit of bad news about how my weekend's going to be going, and that's I'm going to watch sports on Sunday without gambling on any of them.
So I have responsibly reached the end of my allocated fund for myself that I had through November. So I have to wait until the end of the month.
Okay. So I'm going to be...
This is actually going to be maybe the hardest thing that I've ever done. I believe in you.
I think I can do it. Also, you do have $46 left, so you can just make a parlay that would be sick.
So that's what I'm going to – I'm not going to bet on the games, but I'm going to make several awesome parlays. I guess what I'm saying is I'm really down to my last couple dollars in my account.
That's okay. It's responsible.
And I could, in theory, dip into my bank account, take money out, put it into my Barstool Sports account. But I'm leading from the front on this one.
I'm going to be responsible. Nice.
And I'm not going to do it, but I am going to put some sick parlays out. I mean, how great would that be if one of them hit? That would be sick.
And then I'm back in the game. A sick parlay hitting is sick.
It is sick, and then I use that money to then just, I'm back in the game. I did say, and I haven't concocted it yet, but I did tell everyone that I do plan on winning the Can't Lose Parlay this week, so if you'd like to put a little mess.
Yeah, but the odds on that... Maybe I'll make them good for you.
Odds, yeah. Maybe I'll make them crazy.
I'm gonna come... I'm gonna do like a weird player prop parlay.
Okay. That's what I'm gonna do.
Well, Godspeed. Can you bet on a tie? Yes, I think so.
Yeah. I might bet on...
I might put my $46 on the Chargers to tie against the Bengals. That sounds terrible.
That sounds so terrible. Let's go.
All right. My Firefest of the Week is I updated Twitter, and it sucks.
Have you guys done that recently? I don't know what's updated. Yeah, so I updated it because I replied to Keith Olbermann calling him a loser, and then I did the, which is a great trick, to mute the conversation because there's just a bunch of people replying and arguing in my mentions i didn't want to see it anymore for some reason it didn't mute jack your fucking fuck you dude become the ceo again so i updated it now i'm just lost now i'm completely lost i've reached that point in my life where updating technology really sets me back it sucks billy do you have an answer for me their buttons are different different.
Like if you hit where search used to be, it's spaces. You can also downvote.
You can also downvote. You just got spaces? Yeah.
Oh, yeah. It's been on there for a while.
My hard and fast rule with anything on my iPhone is never update unless they manually force you to. Correct.
So they force this on me. The font's different.
The font's different. I don't like the font.
The downvotes. Just let me mute the conversations because I love just tweeting something and then muting it and being like, I never saw anyone.
Billy. Everyone's stealing the NFTs.
No. The right clicks? They're all stolen.
I can't believe that. They're stealing them.
Right click pirates? They're all going to openc.io-barstool. Seriously? Right clicking and stealing them.
Whatever you do don't go to OpenSea.io-barstool and steal any of Billy's NFTs. So, is the project a failure? No.
What should I report to Dave and Erica? Just cybercrime. There's cybercrime.
It's illegal cybercrime. What would you like me to say? We tried, but we failed? There's cyber on cybercrime.
Hey, Billy would like a raise, but he did his big project and it failed. It hasn't.
There is still time. Really? How much time's left? Until Tuesday, 2 p.m.
Has anybody bid on him yet? There's been a couple bids. Okay.
But the cybercrime needs to stop. It does.
It stops here. Cybercrime is bad.
We'll be prosecuting anyone that right-clicks any of Billy's NFTs to the full extent of the law. Is there a law around that? Probably not.
Well, I just want people to know that if... So yes, we will be to the fullest extent of the law.
Is there a law around that? Probably not. I just want people to know that yes, we will be to the fullest extent of the law.
If you steal these NFTs, you are just harming Billy in his attempt to get a raise. And if you steal them so much, he will actually get a decrease in his salary.
Don't do that. You don't want to do that.
It would be terrible. It would suck if he just was getting paid nothing next year because of this project.
The worst thing ever would be, Billy's right, if people were to retweet the NFTs, because then they're free for more people. I know.
So don't do that. Stop right-clicking them and stealing them.
Please. Okay.
Good luck on your project. My Fyre Fest of the week is my gloves were my winter jacket, and one of them fell out they're missing Oh you just have one? I love ending Firefest Your Firefest of the week isn't that Frank Caliendo played against you in ping pong? Is it out? Video's out? Yeah I'll put it out today Alright I don't want to spoil it No you can spoil it He destroyed me He's it.
He destroyed me. He's the best in the office? He's the best in the office.
He's the best one here. He brought his own paddle on a media tour.
That's when you know. Yeah.
That's crazy. He takes ping pong very, very seriously.
On Pittsburgh Radio today, I was doing the interview that we do. Bicat and I alternate every week.
Caliendo was in studio. He just ended up talking to me about ping pong for 15 minutes.

And he plays in professional tournaments, he said.

He had a strategy in the back of his head against you, Jake,

where he was setting you up the entire time you were warming up. Three warm-ups.

Just so he could humiliate you.

He's ruthless on the table.

He's got his shirt on the Barstool store.

Yeah, that's brutal.

Best in the office, Frank Caliendo.

Replace his face.

He deserves it.

He does.

Wow, look at that. Sportsmanship.
It's always about sportsmanship. Of course.
Okay. Good luck, everyone, this weekend.
Gambling, watching your teams. 88.
Big conference championship weekend. Game of the year.
Georgia minus 6.5. ESPN 3.
Tonight at 7. What's the number I'm guessing? 81.
Is one that has never been guessed? 8. 81 and 88.
Or the 80s. 69.
81. 23.
Is 23 the most dominant? No. 47.
Yeah, that's disrespectful of Mr. 47.

Okay.

47, that's right.

The third time, 23.

47 is a goat.

Yeah.

Okay.

Minkery is the art of training minx.

Love you guys.

Love you guys. We'll be coming for your love.
Okay. Take on me.

Take me on.

I'll be gone.

And after I'll change.

Needless to say.

I'm all set in. But I need so a little way.
Take on me Take me on

I'll be gone

When I've got to remember Are you shying away? I'll be coming for you anyway.

Take on me.

Take me on.

I'll be Intercepted

I'll become