The Office’s Brian Baumgartner, Pitt QB Kenny Pickett, MNF And A Special Wednesday Reading

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we got a twofer for the people. We have recurrent guest, Brian Baumgartner.
I don't know if I say his name correctly every time because it's Madison Baumgartner.

Speaker 2 Brian Baumgartner.

Speaker 1 Kevin from the office. Great guest in person.
Awesome to have him in here. We also have Kenny Pickett, Pitt quarterback, maybe potentially top 10 pick.
He's climbing up the draft boards.

Speaker 1 This is, I don't want to say the G-word, but it is our grooming process here. We're getting in with Kenny Pickett before Kenny Pickett blows up.

Speaker 2 Why don't we change how we phrase that?

Speaker 2 We're baiting him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're we're becoming friends with him early on enough that when he becomes the starting quarterback for an NFL franchise next year, we can be like, that's our guy.

Speaker 2 And then after three years, we make him give us 10% of his contract. Josh Allen, Josh Allen.

Speaker 1 All right, we're going to talk Monday night football, talk some college football, hot seat, cool throne, and then a special Wednesday reading because we were going to do it Monday, but we ran long because it's football Mondays.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 No place behind a lot of washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't name all of the songs. Oh, no, we're gonna rock it down to E-Lay Trick I value.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Electric.

Speaker 2 It's part of my take presented by Marshal Sports.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take, presented by Tostitos. Go right now to tostitos.com/slash Romo to get a chance to win Romo in your ear.
Today is Wednesday, November 17th. In PFT, I have a question.

Speaker 1 Are we sure the Rams are good?

Speaker 2 I don't know. I think that Odell Beckham has found himself in a situation that Odell Beckham doesn't deserve.

Speaker 2 And I think that we need to have an honest conversation about whether or not the Rams are doing enough to put enough pieces around Odell Beckham.

Speaker 1 There was a moment during Monday Night Football where they zoomed in on Odell Beckham. And I don't...

Speaker 1 I don't think this is what he was thinking, but I could see someone in his spot thinking this, being like, damn, maybe it is me.

Speaker 1 That moment where you're like, maybe I'm the reason for all these toxic relationships.

Speaker 2 Definitely not.

Speaker 2 I can guarantee you 100% that's not what Odell Beckham was thinking.

Speaker 1 No, I know, but that's what I would have been thinking. His face in that moment was like, a reasonable person would be like, is it me?

Speaker 1 Am I the one here? Right.

Speaker 2 Like, if hypothetically, I had an old show on Sirius that only lasted for one episode, and then after that, I had

Speaker 2 a show on ESPN 2 that lasted for one episode. Only

Speaker 2 I would start to think it's me. I know I have that sort of self-awareness.

Speaker 2 Odell Beckham doesn't, but I think in reality, what last night just kind of confirmed for us, which we should, we're so fucking dumb that we haven't realized this yet after how many years you've been watching football?

Speaker 2 Like 30?

Speaker 1 Oh, my life? I've been watching football for probably like 32 years.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Actually, my son, for the first time yesterday or Saturday, said Dada football. And I was like, I love that.

Speaker 1 He's a football guy. I'd figure it out.
But he didn't want to actually watch. But he just acknowledged the fact that that's all I I do.
Yeah, no.

Speaker 1 I think he just associates it with like Dennis sits there and he watches football.

Speaker 2 That's all he needs to know in life. He's already probably a better gambler than you are.

Speaker 1 Yeah, oh,

Speaker 2 everyone is. I would think that after all this time spent watching football, we'd finally understand that like even good teams suck in the NFL.

Speaker 2 The amount of parody that there is, there are like three teams that usually are better than the bad teams, but then three weeks a year, those three good teams are actually much worse than even the worst teams.

Speaker 1 Okay, so I agree with you and it's true there's always these clunkers you saw the cowboys last week lose to the broncos i think the cowboys are a good team you we talked about many times about the the packers and what happened week one against the saints the rams though i think the rams we We got a little fooled from that week three win against the Bucs.

Speaker 1 So if you actually look at the Rams, and I think there's a little bit of a, oh, Sean McVay and Matt Stafford, what a great story. They have Aaron Donald.

Speaker 1 The Rams passed the test of random team you don't root for that you can name a ton of guys from.

Speaker 1 So the random team that you don't root for that you know a bunch of guys on the roster will always seem better in your brain because you're like, well, yeah, Aaron Donald, Jalen Ramsey, you know, all those guys, Matt Stafford, Whitworth.

Speaker 1 You can just start listing all these guys. They're not your team, so you think they're good.
But I look back, right?

Speaker 1 The Rams.

Speaker 2 If you take out the Bucs win, which was phenomenal,

Speaker 1 it goes back to Hank when the Patriots were at their peak of their dynasty, and you guys would always make fun of teams that won a big game in September and you'd be like, well, they won the week three Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 The Rams won the week three Super Bowl. They beat the Bucs.
They beat them very, very soundly at home. The rest of the Rams resume at this point, they have not beaten another team over 500.

Speaker 1 They have beaten a combined, so every team that they've beaten, the best team they've beaten besides the Bucs is the Indianapolis Colts.

Speaker 1 Their record for the rest of their schedule, if you take out the Bucs win, is 15, 39, and 1.

Speaker 1 have beaten some of the worst they beaten the Lions, the Texans, the Bears, the Geno Seahawks, and the Giants.

Speaker 1 Like these are teams that you wouldn't be saying these are the best teams in the NFL and they've had tests against the Cardinals got smashed, tests against the Titans get smashed, and then go into a Monday night football game where

Speaker 1 I know Billy said it was a clowning. It was not a clowning.
It was a whooping. And it was man football.
And we had a sad field goal at the end by Sean McVay, who then did it on cycle.

Speaker 1 It was a whompin.

Speaker 2 It was a whompin', not quite a whooping.

Speaker 2 Well, the difference between these two teams is the Los Angeles Rams are like a basketball team playing football. The Niners are like a football team playing basketball.

Speaker 1 Or they're a football,

Speaker 1 they're both basketball teams, but the Rams are playing with point guards and the Niners are playing with power forwards.

Speaker 2 No, the Niners are a football team playing basketball.

Speaker 1 They're just running you over. George Kittle on Von Miller.
Yeah, now be careful, big cat. That'd be incredible.

Speaker 2 We have a truther. We have a highlight truther in the house.
And of course, it's Hank, our resident hater, on all of our friends.

Speaker 1 We're all our friends. I actually, this is because.
Do you already hate Kenny Pickett? This is because I care about our recurring guests. I don't know if you guys remember.

Speaker 1 Von Miller has been on the show multiple times, had some hilarious moments. Yeah, that's true.
His dad, he called his dad. So, like,

Speaker 1 I'm confused by your statement. You're right.
Actually, you're right.

Speaker 1 And if you watched it earlier, I love George Kittle probably more than you guys. He won me money.
I bet him to go first touchdown that hit. hit.

Speaker 2 No, I love him so much. I told him some honest truths when I said National Tight End Day has become too commercialized.
It's like the Hallmark holiday now. We need to get that.

Speaker 1 That's his holiday and you're hating him. Yeah, no, no, I'm just saying.

Speaker 2 We honestly, we need it's a great holiday.

Speaker 1 If you went to holiday, why wouldn't you commercialize it? That's the fucking point.

Speaker 2 It dilutes the meaning of the holiday, Hank.

Speaker 1 I love him so much. That's what holidays are.
I love you. Do you love Valentine's Day?

Speaker 2 Do you think Valentine's Day is still a lot of fun when you came to the house?

Speaker 1 No, I don't anymore. No, I don't.

Speaker 1 Damn, shit. Got you there.
I love George Kittle so much.

Speaker 1 I bet him shoes on Iowa, Wisconsin, and I thought for a second I wasn't going to make him pay, but then I'm going to make him pay. But that's how much I love him.

Speaker 1 Anyway, I watched the video, click the video. It's like George Kittle, pancake, block.
And you can just see the fullback run full speed into Von Miller, and that's what tipped him over.

Speaker 1 I love George Kittle. I think he would agree.
I think we called him right now.

Speaker 2 No, his hand placement was perfect on the block.

Speaker 1 If you watch it, it is very clear that they're going back and forth.

Speaker 1 What do you call it? What's it called, Billy? The chip block. The chip block was very clearly what tipped Von Miller.

Speaker 2 No, no, the chip block pushed him off to the side, but are we going to take that out on college?

Speaker 1 It's worth it.

Speaker 1 No, I'm not. I'm just saying people are clowning Von Miller unnecessarily.
It's not fair. That's 49ers football.
They're doing the things that they always do. It's a perfectly executed chip block.

Speaker 2 The 49ers always do this, where they have all their players, their wide receivers, their running backs, their tight ends. Everybody plays in that offense at times like they're an offensive lineman.

Speaker 2 And it's a beautiful thing to watch when the running game is working like that. And that's what we saw last night.

Speaker 1 The fullback helped, but this was like George Kittle got his hands at the perfect place and drove them through Von Miller. 100%.
I just think it'd be a lot different.

Speaker 1 I would speak differently about it if it was a one versus one. It was a one and a half.
It was a one and a half versus one. We'll settle this.
Okay. But you know what? He's such a good guy.

Speaker 1 He's probably going to be, he's going to give credit.

Speaker 4 9:30 local time.

Speaker 1 I already texted him this morning because I need those shoes.

Speaker 1 I got to resell them.

Speaker 1 No, I'm just kidding.

Speaker 1 Phone on?

Speaker 1 Speaker. Sorry.

Speaker 1 Hey. Hello.
Hey, we're taping part of my take right now. Hey, Greg.
Hey, that was PFT. Hey, Greg.

Speaker 1 We're talking about Monday night football, and

Speaker 1 Hank's taking credit away from the Von Miller block. He's saying it was more the fullback than you.

Speaker 1 Well, it was Monday night. That means it's Monday Night Raw, so we were just out there tag-taking for us.
Thank you. Okay, thank you.

Speaker 1 So you're going to give, but would you say when we pop in the film, that was also a perfect block from you? I agree with that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'll take that. Okay, Greg, wasn't your hand placement perfect on that block?

Speaker 1 My inside hand was a little outside, but

Speaker 1 as long as you keep your feet running and moving vertically, they're not going to call holding.

Speaker 1 Last question. If you played a game of pickup basketball tomorrow and we gave you 10 fouls and then you're fouled out, how quickly would you foul out?

Speaker 1 10 possessions. Okay, perfect.
All right, thank you. All right, love you.
Goodbye. Yeah, see you guys.
All right, see you. Bye, Greg.
All right, so we settled that

Speaker 2 both arguments, really.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we both, we all were right. Everyone's right as usual on the show.

Speaker 1 That's some analysis you don't get everywhere else. Never been wrong.
Damn. Never been owned online.
Nope.

Speaker 1 All right, but yeah, I think the Rams have a real problem. I don't know.

Speaker 1 I've been the person who has talked the most about Matt Stafford's legacy and the numbers that he's going to amass, but Matt Stafford,

Speaker 1 and it sucks for the Lions because they keep getting ricochet shots. But when he plays poorly, it's Lions Matt Stafford.

Speaker 1 And you had the bonus of him running five yards past the line of scrimmage last night, strafing like he's in Call of Duty, and then trying to throw a pass. Well, he ran backwards.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, he went back. He crossed and then he was like, backwards, then he strafed.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he pulled a psych and tried to go backwards.

Speaker 2 And then Phillip Rivers was like, that is, it was perfect that Phillip Rivers was on the man and cast at that point because that is a play that Phillip Rivers would make.

Speaker 2 That's like right out of his playbook. Uh, yeah, I don't know.
Matt Stafford might be, he didn't look healthy last night.

Speaker 1 Oh, you'll do that for him. Yeah, I think that I might be the first to do that.

Speaker 2 I mean, if you saw his throws, though, he didn't look like the Matt Stafford that we know. Part of that is because they don't have Robert Woods anymore, and Odell Beckham's got injuries.

Speaker 2 Odell Beckham is not Robert Woods. Every team's got injuries.
Odell Beckham does not deserve to play on a team without Robert Woods.

Speaker 2 If he knew that Robert Woods would not be on that team, Odell Beckham never would have signed that contract.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying. Rio Dell.
My point is, we anointed the Rams very quickly because we love it. We love the story.

Speaker 2 We love Matt Stafford.

Speaker 1 We love McVay. What can he do? He's unleashing.

Speaker 1 We love the fact that they dominated the Bucs week three.

Speaker 1 Looking at what they've done, and the nice thing about the NFL is we get to prove it all because they play against the Packers in a week after their bye week.

Speaker 1 But I am officially moving the Rams off of a team that I feel strongly about that could go to the Super Bowl.

Speaker 2 Okay, so they might not go to the Super Bowl, but we also should have seen this coming a little bit because this happens, I feel like, every year.

Speaker 2 Like, Kyle Shanahan, if there's one coach that he owns, it's Sean McVay. Yeah.
So the Niners stinks.

Speaker 1 But this is the Titan he's lost, too. They haven't.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but I'm saying Kyle Shanahan has not won a game at home in the last, I think, two. I think he's 0-8.

Speaker 1 It was 0-8 in the last 8.

Speaker 2 In the last 8, with the exception of when he plays Sean McVay at home, and he's 2-0.

Speaker 1 But I'm at that point.

Speaker 2 I just think, I think that

Speaker 2 we can't can't overreact the other way and be like, the Rams stink, throw them out of here, they're awful. No, no, they don't.

Speaker 1 We're going to see them play. Wait, they don't stink.
But what I'm saying is, this is not just last night. It's the Titans game, too.
The Titans did the same thing to them.

Speaker 1 And then I looked back and I was like,

Speaker 1 why do I keep thinking the Rams are a Super Bowl contender? And then I looked at their schedule. I'm like,

Speaker 1 what have they done besides that week three win that shows me that they're elite team? And there's, you're right, there's a lot of teams that can beat, you know, it's any given Sunday.

Speaker 1 But I think the Cowboys and the Packers in the NFC, I feel confident about. And I'd throw in the Bucs just because you never count out Tom Brady.

Speaker 1 And in the AFC, I would say the Titans, the Ravens, and the Patriots. And if you want to throw in the Chiefs, oh, yeah, the Bills.
We keep worrying about the Bills. They lost to the Jaguars.

Speaker 2 That was what kills me. We're just doing a bit with the Bills right now.

Speaker 1 But I think I am officially taking the Rams out of my feel confident I could see a world where they get to the Super Bowl.

Speaker 2 Well, because they're soft. They are.
The Rams are soft. They're a basketball team playing football.

Speaker 1 And we know all their names. And And they'll be able.

Speaker 2 Every five years, we need to have a reminder in our brains that whatever coach is now starting to put together dream team-like situations, just assembling all the good old players like it's fantasy football.

Speaker 2 We just need to remind ourselves that as good as it looks sometimes, that it's not actually a good way to build a team for the long term. No.

Speaker 2 There's never been a team that's had like a prolonged, like a successful, you know, three or four seasons based off just signing every free agent and collecting everybody else.

Speaker 2 What were you going to say, Hank?

Speaker 1 I'm not a math math guy or a nerd, but the odds, you know, there's never a home team Super Bowl until last year. The odds of it happening two years in a row have to be

Speaker 1 pretty fucking zero.

Speaker 2 There's zero.

Speaker 1 No, I'm saying the odds.

Speaker 1 I'm saying the odds of it happening two years in a row have to be crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. It's zero because it's never happened.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no, that's how

Speaker 1 if something's never happened, it will never happen. Yeah, zero.
That's how we do all of our gambling. Got it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't, I, I just, yeah, I know the overreacting, but I'm, I am taking them away from my top three teams in the NFC because we've just thrown them in.

Speaker 1 The Cardinals are better than the

Speaker 1 Rams right now. They've dealt with a bunch of injuries.

Speaker 2 Let's play a game called Who's Harder? Because we've already established that the Rams are soft at times. The Cardinals kind of have that softish vibe to them sometimes.

Speaker 1 But they can kind of hardly hard ball sometimes. Are the Cardinals harder? I think the Cardinals are harder than the Rams.

Speaker 2 I think they are too.

Speaker 2 I would say that the Seahawks might be harder than the Rams.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they might be. You're right.
They might be the softest team in the West.

Speaker 2 The Buccaneers, harder, harder.

Speaker 1 Softer.

Speaker 1 Harder. Absolutely.
When their defense is playing, like, their defense has a shitload of injuries,

Speaker 1 but I just think of what they did to the Chiefs and how hard they hit everyone.

Speaker 1 And they're a team when they're playing, when their defense is clicking, they're a team where I start to actually worry about the other team's health.

Speaker 2 Saints.

Speaker 1 Saints are harder than the, absolutely. The Saints are no longer.
The Saints used to be the soft team of like the soft good team of of the NFL. That is completely thrown out the window.

Speaker 1 They're hard as fuck.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think the Giants are harder than the Rams.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yes.
Easily. So who's softer?

Speaker 2 Texans. Texans, soft.
Sons are soft. They're fucking strictly NFC teams.
Okay, strictly. Out of all the good NFC teams, I think they're the softest.
They're the softest.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 2 Mystery solved. All right.

Speaker 1 Let's talk some. Oh, we also had, speaking of the Cowboys, the Monkey Butt game, we knew, we called it that Mike McCarthy was going to get into his bag of tricks

Speaker 1 passing around Monkey Butt.

Speaker 2 It was red ass week. Yeah.
Yeah. It was red ass.
The guy handed out a calamine lotion and talcum powder.

Speaker 1 Credit to Mike McCarthy. He's kind of realized that X's and O's and timeouts are not his thing, so motivation has to be.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no, he's doing a great job. He's pulling out all the stops.
This is officially Mike McCarthy going like leaning in 100% to the stuff that Jerry Jones will never tell him how to do.

Speaker 1 Mike McCarthy is essentially just PJ Fleck of the NFL now. He's like, I'm going to build this program.

Speaker 2 Yeah, guess what we're going to do? We're going to have a word of the day every day.

Speaker 2 and then i want somebody to do something of practice that reminds me of that word yes we're reaching just like motivational quotes on the wall mike mccarthy yeah and billy you said you had something that you were going to say about about monkey butt and about red ass week i remember when i told you about red ass week you were saying like something about the ingredients in the monkey butt formula oh monkey butt's actually like great for chafing oh nice it's just like an actual great product.

Speaker 2 I just love that free advice. Send Billy some monkey butt.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I love that that monkey butt I honestly don't know a monkey button. So it's like gold bond, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's like a liquid-ish gold bond type thing. So the cowboys got their ass kicked so bad by the Broncos that he declared that it was Red Ass Week around Dallas.

Speaker 1 You need some monkey butt around.

Speaker 2 So he put up like pictures of baboons with their giant buttholes. Those like red, giant buttholes everywhere.
And it's like, put this on your butt so it doesn't get chafed.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You got your butt.

Speaker 2 Smashed. Next level football stuff.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And what happened? I'm fired off.
They came out and won. They came out and killed me.

Speaker 2 Due to supply chain issues, Joe Biden hasn't been providing enough watermelons in supermarkets. So Mike McCarthy was like, I can't smash anything.
Might as well get some monkey butt.

Speaker 1 Plan B, monkey butt.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 I'm a full-on believer in the Cowboys now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I've been for the majority of the year. Like they are, when they're clicking,

Speaker 1 they have every piece that you need to play with the top teams.

Speaker 2 This is 100% what you need Mike McCarthy to be doing to optimize success for your team is keeping him away from all the actual play design playing.

Speaker 1 It's also, and now I'm going to knock on wood for the Cowboys fans out there because I don't want to jinx it, but it is nice because the Cowboys have always felt like the team that every single year it's like they had all the talent and then people got hurt.

Speaker 1 And now you're actually seeing all the talent on the field. Like Michael Gallup coming back, which is crazy that they, you know, a team with this many offensive weapons just adds Michael Gallup.

Speaker 2 They have everything.

Speaker 2 I also think it'd be fair to say that if Mike McCarthy wins a Super Bowl in Dallas, you can pretty clearly point to the fact that Aaron Rodgers is a system quarterback and only won his national championship with Mike McCarthy as his head coach.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 1 wouldn't that be the first head coach to win with two teams?

Speaker 1 I'm pretty sure. Probably I think it's the first, it would be the first NFL head coach to win a Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 With two different teams.

Speaker 1 Don't quote me on that, but I'm pretty sure that's correct. Huh.

Speaker 1 Who would have won with two different teams?

Speaker 1 There's either a very obvious one I'm completely missing, and I'm going to sound like a total fucking idiot, or I am absolutely correct, and I pulled this one out of my monkey button. Came close.

Speaker 1 Pulled this one out of my monkey butt. Jake?

Speaker 4 I'm looking. There are six coaches who have taken different teams.

Speaker 3 Yep.

Speaker 1 But one

Speaker 1 with two different teams.

Speaker 1 I don't think so. I think I'm correct.
I don't think so. I think you can just Google, has a coach ever won a Super Bowl with two different teams? It's just this this article.
And if I Google it, Jake.

Speaker 1 Vince Lombardi. No.
Who are the coaches?

Speaker 2 The coach for Denver. Don Schuler.

Speaker 4 Don Fox lost both.

Speaker 1 Yep. Yep.
Nope. Mike Shulchan had no.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 4 Bill Parcells went two and one.

Speaker 1 Nope. Nope.

Speaker 1 Nope. Nope.
Nope.

Speaker 1 Haven't done it.

Speaker 1 Haven't done it.

Speaker 5 So far, no coach has ever won a Super Bowl with two different franchises.

Speaker 1 There we go.

Speaker 1 So Mike McCarthy would technically be the greatest coach of all time.

Speaker 2 Well, he would be a very good coach, and it would also diminish Aaron Rodgers' legacies.

Speaker 1 Of course, of course. Absolutely.
Anything.

Speaker 1 And Skip Bayless would be so happy. Hot seat, cool throwing when we talk about legacies and institutional chaos.

Speaker 2 I want to see Skip Bayless just happy for once in his life. Yeah.
I want to see him just experience pure joy.

Speaker 1 Well, no, Saturday night date night with Ernestine when they sleep in the same bed.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, in the same room. Same room.
They push the beds together. Yes.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do some college football talk. We're getting down to it.
Two weeks left in the regular season.

Speaker 1 I think,

Speaker 1 Cincinnati fans, you are now officially in we will get totally, totally screwed zone because Oklahoma's loss was enormous for Cincinnati.

Speaker 1 And the way it's shaping up, I think Cincinnati could actually do this. I think they could actually do this.
I think there's enough losses out there that they could actually do this.

Speaker 1 I still think they wouldn't get over a one-loss power five team,

Speaker 1 but I think they could do it because I think there's enough losses to be spread around that they could actually get in. I don't know.

Speaker 1 And they haven't done anything on the field to actually make us be more confident in it. It's more that everyone else.
Right.

Speaker 2 Even their wins haven't been that impressive. I still have to go.

Speaker 1 No, they haven't covered the spread in forever.

Speaker 2 I still think it's going to be, so a Big Ten team's going to get in. Yeah, so it's going to be.

Speaker 1 And we're going to have to wait.

Speaker 2 We're recording this right now before the rankings come out. Yes.
But we can tell just from what they've done in the past that they do not like poor schools. They do not like non-Power 5 schools.

Speaker 2 Correct.

Speaker 1 I think the rankings are.

Speaker 2 We're looking for an excuse to keep Cincinnati out.

Speaker 2 The only way that Cincinnati would have a chance, in my mind, to get in is if they had just absolutely dominated for the last three weeks, which they haven't done.

Speaker 1 No, so I've been crunching the numbers, looking at everything. They obviously need Oregon to lose, which could very well happen in Utah this weekend.

Speaker 1 They need Alabama to lose to Georgia, and they need basically Oklahoma and Oklahoma State to play to a tie because that's how the Big 12 is most likely going to work out is if Oklahoma State beats Oklahoma, they then rematch in the Big 12 championship game.

Speaker 1 So Oklahoma State could run the table and maybe get in, but it would be against the same team.

Speaker 1 They won two games in a row, and people would probably look at its side-eye being like, well, what does it prove? It just proves that they're better than Oklahoma State twice.

Speaker 2 I still think what's going to end up happening, and it'll be very funny to see, is the SEC championship game, Georgia, Alabama, it's like 40 to 38.

Speaker 2 Georgia wins, and they keep Alabama as a two-loss team

Speaker 2 in the top four.

Speaker 1 So the problem is that they might even put them at number three.

Speaker 2 So that they wouldn't have them play each other again one week after the other.

Speaker 1 If there are multiple losses that go down the lines, I could see it happening. If there's multiple one-loss teams in Cincinnati, I don't think they would do it.

Speaker 1 They've never put a two-loss team in the playoff and that tricky spot of do you put Alabama at four and make them rematch again. So I was having this debate.

Speaker 1 People are saying, well, Alabama's at two, so that if they lose, they would just drop to four. I actually think it's the reverse way.
I think Alabama's at two.

Speaker 1 So if Georgia loses, they drop to three, not four. So you avoid the rematch.
That's how it's going to be.

Speaker 2 That probably happens, too. Yeah.
But I also think that if Alabama loses in a very close game, they might just drop to number three.

Speaker 1 What I thought you were going to say, and which would be very, very funny,

Speaker 1 very college football.

Speaker 2 I think I know what you're about to say.

Speaker 1 It would be Notre Dame sneaking in over Cincinnati, which I would be the most wrong thing of all time, but also would be the funniest thing of all time.

Speaker 2 So it'd be hilarious because obviously Cincinnati beat Notre Dame.

Speaker 2 But Notre Dame gets in because again,

Speaker 2 they're not poor.

Speaker 1 And they keep winning.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 they get to hypothetically number four.

Speaker 2 They play Georgia and get beat by 60. That would be the most hilarious possible outcome.
Either way.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm rooting for. Either way,

Speaker 1 we're going to have some fun last two weeks of the college football season. I do think, I still am inclined to think they're going to try to find a way to fuck over Cincinnati.

Speaker 1 But looking at it, I think Cincinnati is almost like just by the fact that everyone's going to lose to everyone, they're going to find a way.

Speaker 1 It's going to get to a point where the committee will like, oh, in a Wizard of Oz moment, they will have to either reveal themselves to being like, there was, if everyone had four losses, Cincinnati still wouldn't get in, or they'll just have to let Cincinnati in.

Speaker 1 I don't think they have to be in. Because if you have everyone catching two losses and you still keep them out, then everyone's like, what's going on?

Speaker 2 I think the committee is just going to be like, hey, we're a made-up group of trolls that live in a room and we can do whatever the fuck we want because we have no actual accountability.

Speaker 2 So here's your final four. You're going to talk about it, and you're going to enjoy it, America.

Speaker 1 I do think that in terms of the rankings that are going to be released later on tonight, I think that's probably going to stay status quo in the top six, knowing that the committee can just bump Michigan over Cincinnati if they do beat Ohio State.

Speaker 1 They might move them to five because they beat Penn State, but it's going to be essentially, it's going to be the same six, top six, in whatever order. And Georgia also just keeps destroying everyone.

Speaker 2 Yeah, unless there's a transparent formula, they're not going to they never have to actually explain themselves about anything.

Speaker 2 They can come up with whatever stat that they have to justify the order that they want to put these schools in anyways.

Speaker 1 Yes, I'm officially done ever thinking that anyone can score on Georgia.

Speaker 1 That first drive by Tennessee, they should put that in like

Speaker 1 they should put it in like the Hall of Fame of Tennessee. That first drive was fantastic.

Speaker 2 We've got a blueprint, big cat. All you have to do is you have to play the entire game

Speaker 2 plays like they played that first drive. And most of the first quarter was not bad for Tennessee, but there's just no way that you can keep up with that Alabama defense for that long.

Speaker 1 Tennessee, I would file Tennessee under a team that is now competent at a lot of things, which is a good step in the right direction. Yeah, no, no.

Speaker 1 There was no moments in that game where it was like, oh, my God, what is Tennessee doing? It was just Georgia was better.

Speaker 2 Yeah, for Tennessee fans, you have a great offseason ahead of you. You have an offseason of actual anticipation because you've got a lot of stuff that you've built up right now.

Speaker 2 So, you can look forward to next season as that's our year if we're actually going to be good.

Speaker 1 Yes, um, also just going to throw out one last thing: uh,

Speaker 1 just throwing it out there: Michigan beating Ohio State and then Wisconsin beating Michigan in the Big Ten Championship game, the maximum chaos.

Speaker 1 Then you probably got to let Wisconsin in and Notre Dame and Notre Dame. Um, all right, should we do hot seat cool throwing any other college football notes?

Speaker 2 Yeah, justice for UTSA. Yeah, UTSA was given my top 10 the last three years.

Speaker 1 So, you're getting boned.

Speaker 2 UTSA needs to to be just put them in the top 10.

Speaker 2 You can not ever think to include them in the Final Four in the playoff when it comes down to it, but just let people that went to school at UTSA look at their logo on television for a while.

Speaker 2 Can you imagine if you're a UTSA alum, when is the last time you get to see your full logo prominently displayed on ESPN?

Speaker 1 I heard. Probably never.
I heard that the committee is keeping them out of the top 10

Speaker 1 because a certain grad refuses to get creamed. That's what I heard.
Michelle Beadle. That's what I heard.
That's all I heard.

Speaker 2 Maybe shave the beard, chaps.

Speaker 1 Also,

Speaker 1 UTSA, we often talk about watching one game and being like, oh my God, this guy is incredible and then sticking with it forever. UTSA, number four on UTSA, their wide receiver, is Calvin Johnson.

Speaker 1 And now, obviously, he's not. But when he played against UTEP and I watched that entire game, the whole time I was like, this guy is unstoppable.
He's incredible. How is he not a top five pick?

Speaker 2 Put him in the top 10 committee. Put him in the top 10.
Ole Miss. Lane Kiffin just is a fucking maniac.

Speaker 1 Dude, I'm so, I love Lane Kiffen, but god damn it, man. Someone has to explain to him that it is okay every now and then to kick a field goal.
No, no.

Speaker 2 Lane is just like, fuck it. Seven is more than three, big cat.
Look it up. Every time, every time.

Speaker 1 There was that, in that fourth quarter, they should have been up by two scores, and they did a fake field goal after also passing passing up a field goal from like the five-yard line it's just it's just basic math that like hey man you don't have and again i think that it also is demoralizing for your defense i think it's demoralizing for your team when you fail on fourth downs repeatedly and you have to trot back out there and be like fuck well we could have had three points not every time you got to kick a field goal but he's gone all the way to the other end where he's playing madden he's allergic to kicking field goals yeah uh it's fun to watch sometimes but it's also very confusing because when I'm watching, sometimes Lane Gifford makes me feel like I'm really dumb that I actually don't know how football math works.

Speaker 2 But he actually has learned so much about football math that he's chosen to forget all of it. Yes.
That's when you know that you master something. Yes.

Speaker 1 All right. Let's do hot seat, cool throne.
Hank, you want to start with hot seat, cool throne?

Speaker 1 Yeah, my hot seat is Danny Ricardo/slash everyone in the F1.

Speaker 1 It's coming down to it. Three races left.
It is coming down to it. Push, push.
Push, push. Great race on Sunday by the news.
I can't wait to watch it on Netflix. I really enjoy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't watch races either, but I like to go into the Instagram comments section, the official F1, and just the people get really upset hating Rasap and hating Lewis Hamilton.

Speaker 1 It's very, very funny. Passionate.
Yeah, very passionate. But we released our Muggsy Grand Prix video.
Yeah. It came out yesterday, so it's out now on part of my Tick YouTube.

Speaker 1 We raced, we did a race, Miyu and PFT PFT racing in recliners. Do you think, what do you think Daniel Ricardo would say about the fact that you just cheated?

Speaker 2 Spoiler.

Speaker 1 Well, that's, I mean, that's probably already watched. I was looking for an advantage.
I didn't cheat, but

Speaker 1 I did have the best driving.

Speaker 1 That was a non-driving part aspect.

Speaker 1 Oh, skipping a lap? Well, you cheated off the bat. You literally cheated that said not to pump into people, and you literally started by shaving your car directly into my expensive.

Speaker 1 Hank turned to me and said, are you going to try to run me off the road?

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and I said yes i after they had a safety meeting where they're like make sure at the safety meeting at the safety meeting we all agreed and then wait

Speaker 1 wait wait wait wait wait and then hank asked wait at the safety meeting yep we all agreed not to run into each other yep but that's not a rule right that was us agreeing not to do it in front of the safety meeting i was going to run into hank if big cat didn't big cat took him out and i i see daylight i push and also i never said a lie i said in front of the safety guys because we had to do it so we get in the car.

Speaker 1 They were freaking out. That was so stupid how like anal they were.
Hank looked at me before the race. He said, Are you going to try to ram me at the start? And I said, yes, I am.
And then I did.

Speaker 2 Even if you lied to him, that's not cheating. But

Speaker 1 I was very honest.

Speaker 2 I was very honest. There's a difference between lying and cheating.
We'll get to Dan Orlovsky later.

Speaker 1 Absolute dirtbag move. Anyway, but my driving was so superior that I came all the way back.
I had some trouble after that, which, you know, I was forced to look for any edge I could get.

Speaker 1 That's besides the point. Including subtracting last year.
Did we tap that four years ago? It feels like it.

Speaker 2 It was hot out. It was hot.

Speaker 1 It was very hot.

Speaker 2 I'm taking my sack off. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Either way, move of the day, drive of the day.

Speaker 1 Make your own decision, but that's just a fact. Okay, okay.
So go watch that video now. My cool throne.
Oh, boy, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 I don't have anything written down. I forget.
Okay, okay. Billy.

Speaker 1 You gotta be a good one. Throw me an extra one.
Army server.

Speaker 1 Throw me something. Throw me an extra one.
NFTs. Billy's got his NFTs.
He's releasing as an experiment. That actually was what I had.

Speaker 1 NFTs.

Speaker 1 Billy was an actor. He was a bullfrog.

Speaker 1 That was an experiment. No, no, no.
I didn't want to plug that. Right.
You've ruined the experiment. Oh, really? Yeah.
Oh, because

Speaker 1 it was like a joke. No, don't worry.

Speaker 1 I want people to pay me money as a joke.

Speaker 5 The 2016 part of my Take NFT collection is coming out soon. Yes.

Speaker 1 But also, you have your personal NFTs as an experiment.

Speaker 5 The personal NFTs.

Speaker 2 No, it's a bit.

Speaker 1 We're supposed to see a scale. It's a bit.
I was trying to see how much money you can take from our listeners.

Speaker 6 That's why I was an experiment.

Speaker 1 It's an investment for the listeners.

Speaker 1 Marshall Henderson. He's presenting an investment opportunity.
I like just art. The way he phrased it was so funny.
This is an experiment. The money is real that you're going to have to pay for it.

Speaker 1 I'm experimenting. It's an experiment.

Speaker 2 I'm experimenting with light fraud.

Speaker 1 Okay, it's not fraud. It's art.
I'm selling a little.

Speaker 1 Let's do an experiment. How many of our listeners can mail us a $100 bill?

Speaker 1 It's an experiment. All right.
Good, good, cool throne. Thanks, Job.

Speaker 1 This happened last week. I'm going to remember mine soon enough.

Speaker 1 PFT.

Speaker 2 My hot seat is my own investments.

Speaker 1 Oh, and I'm not a frog. No, I'm not talking about frog.
I would never buy a frog.

Speaker 2 I'm talking about my financial stake that I own in the Green Bay Packers. Yes.
Because, number one, shares are being diluted today. They're selling, I think, 300,000 shares of them for 300 bucks.

Speaker 2 Again, that's not fraud. Yep.

Speaker 2 And also,

Speaker 2 not only are they being diluted, but there's apparently fine print on them now that says by buying these, you're not allowed to criticize Roger Goodell, the NFL, or any of the teams in the NFL.

Speaker 2 And the punishment is up to a $500,000 fine. Yes.
Now, I don't think I've ever criticized Roger Goodell or any teams in the NFL. Is that real?

Speaker 1 I don't know if it says it on the thing. I know that if you're part of a shareholder agreement.

Speaker 1 Technically, Roger Goodell, like if you bought it and committed a crime, Roger Goodell could fine you $500,000.

Speaker 2 Yeah, personally. Roger Goodell can fuck fuck your wife.
I also, if you own

Speaker 2 a share of stock in the Green Bay Packers.

Speaker 1 The Packers stock, which I like to make fun of, it's now been ruined because the man who shall not be named wrote an article about how these stocks mean nothing and they don't actually gain any money.

Speaker 1 The man obviously being Darren Revelle,

Speaker 1 he, for a brief moment, made me actually side with the Packers. No, because I was like,

Speaker 1 we like to make fun of Packers fans, but I would say 99.9% 99.9% of Packers fans who buy the stock know it doesn't actually mean anything or any chance of increasing in value.

Speaker 1 It's just to feel part of a team. Revelle had to explain that and tell them how it was actually a bad financial decision.
You ruined it for everyone else, you fucking nerd. Now, don't get me wrong.

Speaker 2 I'm not going to go selling my personal share of the stock anytime soon because stocks always go up. And I feel like, but I did short it today.

Speaker 2 I shorted the stock because of those reasons and also because those motherfuckers cut Blake Bortles. Yes.
They released him yesterday, and it's bullshit. They used him.
They used his body.

Speaker 2 They used his brain. They used his playbook that he brought over from the Seahawks.
A curse on the Green Bay Packers. Yes.

Speaker 1 Your cool throne.

Speaker 2 My Cool Throne. Well, let's see.
I was going to drop Mike McCarthy on you guys,

Speaker 2 but instead.

Speaker 2 I'll just say Cool Throne is Hank's spare time.

Speaker 1 NFTs.

Speaker 1 NFTs.

Speaker 2 Billy's doing an experiment. Cool Throne is

Speaker 2 Hank's spare time because Tom Brady has his Man in the Arena show coming out.

Speaker 1 And the new Halo dropped. I forgot we should have mentioned that to Kittle.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So not only is there the Man in the Arena, the show, but there's also a post show with like Teddy Brewski talking about the show they just watched.

Speaker 1 A lot of shows.

Speaker 2 And then there's a post-post show

Speaker 2 talking about the post-show. And then there's also a podcast about the show that's coming out.
So

Speaker 2 Hank is book solid.

Speaker 1 When do you guys want to do recaps? Wednesday or Friday?

Speaker 2 Yeah, right after succession.

Speaker 1 We're waiting for a succession recap. People talk in a room.

Speaker 2 That's my succession recap.

Speaker 1 The deal almost gets made, then it doesn't. Tune in next week.
I haven't even seen this week's fun. That's every single week.
Kindle is sober, but he's acting like he's fucked up. Let's stand.

Speaker 1 Let's stand the shareholders thing. Let's stand in

Speaker 1 a really nice house or conference room and almost get the deal done.

Speaker 1 That's our succession recap.

Speaker 2 They wear a lot of black Tony Romo-style plain baseball baseball caps.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 for the 10th episode in a row, Shiv thinks that her dad actually

Speaker 1 takes her seriously.

Speaker 2 Logan uses the F-word.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 2 Actually, my cool throne is the Washington Bullets because they're in first place in the deal. Now, I don't care about the Washington Bullets.

Speaker 1 Overall?

Speaker 2 First place in the East. If the season ended today, they would be the one seed in the East for the first time.

Speaker 1 Four in a row. They're pretty good.
They beat the British.

Speaker 1 The Bulls are two. Yeah, Bulls are two.
The Bulls just waxed the fucking Lakers. As a rule, I've got a fucking fucking fight.
And Caruso got a sick fucking video for him. Yeah, fucking LeBron James.

Speaker 1 Last night was a perfect encapsulation of how LeBron is just an absolute fraud.

Speaker 1 The story came out that the Lakers basically asked Caruso to take less money because they had to pay the luxury tax, which is a crazy ass to ask a player. No.
Why would you ever do that?

Speaker 1 When you're just trying to make as much money as you can, you don't give a fuck about the team being in salary cap problems. But LeBron is the GM.
Everyone knows this. It's true.

Speaker 1 He could easily have been like, we need Caruso, we need Caruso, we need Caruso.

Speaker 1 Didn't, and then it's all over him, like, hugging him, social media, like, love you, bro, love you, bro, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 2 It's a bad teammate. Maybe he's just happy that Caruso is getting paid more money.

Speaker 1 The Bulls are good. Caruso, I love Caruso.

Speaker 2 Say what you want about

Speaker 1 LeBron.

Speaker 1 I'm unironically become a huge big baller.

Speaker 1 I've been on the ball train since the beginning. That's actually.
But I knew I would be a huge Lonzo ball fan.

Speaker 1 I followed Kuzma closely because he was best friends with Lonzo and they were rookies, and he was like funny.

Speaker 1 He's fun to root for. He's kind of a clown, but he's got that

Speaker 1 irrational confidence you need if you're going to be a superstar. And he's kind of playing like that.

Speaker 2 You need the confidence. Confidence comes first.

Speaker 1 He's got the skill comes second. If the playoffs started a

Speaker 1 Wizards, one seed, Bulls, two seed. Celtics.
Who would have thought Celtics would be the out of the playoffs? No, they played the playoffs.

Speaker 1 They would play the 10th seed. They're the nine, and then they would play the eighth seed.
Okay. God damn it.
That sounds shit. It makes me so mad.
Yeah, but the bullets.

Speaker 1 Just let everyone in the play.

Speaker 2 I've said that I don't care about the bullets, but I reserve all rights to become a massive hypocrite in case they finish in the top four.

Speaker 1 I care very much about the Bulls. It's very fun to watch them, although West Coast basketball I can't stay up for.
I just can't. I watched the first quarter last night and then went to sleep.

Speaker 1 Speaking of, I'll do my cool throne first. The Bucs, who are outside of the playoffs right now.
And

Speaker 1 the real cool throne is the rest of the league because Giannis is is already planting the seeds to maybe leave Milwaukee. What do you do?

Speaker 1 He said in his GQ article, he said, one challenge was to bring a championship here and we did. It was very hard, but we did.
Very, very hard. I just love challenges.
What's the next challenge?

Speaker 1 The next challenge might not be here.

Speaker 1 Me and my family chose to stay in the city that we all love and is taking care of us for now. In two years, that might change.
I'm being totally honest with you.

Speaker 2 I mean, winning a championship for the Milwaukee Bucks is a pretty fucking

Speaker 1 challenge. Yeah, too rich.

Speaker 2 I don't know if he could win a championship, an NBA championship for the New Zealand Breakers, that would be much more difficult.

Speaker 1 I just, this is a cool throne for everyone who is a fan of off-season NBA more than regular season NBA. So you got your wish, Giannis might become a free agent or demand a trade.

Speaker 2 Where else would he go that would be more of a challenge than Milwaukee?

Speaker 1 L.A. trying to play with LeBron.

Speaker 2 Yeah, trying to coexist.

Speaker 1 Yeah, with LeBron and that shining star that's always on him because it has to be on him. All right, my hot seat is Duke.
Duke. Institutional Chaos Duke.

Speaker 1 If you missed the report, Coach K's grandson, who's on the team, nepotism much,

Speaker 1 and their best player. Would you say it's their best player?

Speaker 4 Yes, Palo Bencaro.

Speaker 1 Their best player got DWIs.

Speaker 1 Well, I don't even know when it was. Last night, night before?

Speaker 4 I think it was Sunday morning, so Saturday night.

Speaker 2 And Coach K kept the lid on this for

Speaker 2 he was putting pressure on the police department, sounds like, for the last couple days.

Speaker 1 Coach K should retire right now. If he had any backbone and stood for anything that he says that he stands for, you can't have this.

Speaker 2 Or at the very least, remove the letters D, U, and I from his grandson's Duke University sweatshirt.

Speaker 1 Yes. Removing bias for a second here, big cat, because I just want to, you know, since this situation will apply to any person who gets in any type of driving trouble going forward,

Speaker 1 would you not say that this is a possible coaching moment that he could use to help these players grow as humans? I do think it's a coaching moment. He should say, guys, I've failed you.

Speaker 1 I'm retiring right now.

Speaker 1 That would be a great coaching moment. That should all coaches.

Speaker 1 Anytime one of their players gets in trouble driving or

Speaker 1 they're under 21.

Speaker 1 College kids should go to college to do college, not to drink. They're under 21, driving a vehicle.
Disgusting.

Speaker 1 I would also take, I told you this before the show, Hank, I would also take Coach K, if he doesn't want to go to jail or retire, if he wanted to give his grandson to Pete Gaudette like he did all those losses in 1995, I would take that as well.

Speaker 1 If he literally changed legally, Pete Gaudette became his grandson's, the DUI grandson's grandfather. I was going to say, like that.
DWI.

Speaker 2 I thought it was D-U-I.

Speaker 1 It's DWI.

Speaker 2 What's the difference?

Speaker 1 No, I don't. Under wild.
Wow.

Speaker 1 He was 0.08, but he's under 21.

Speaker 2 So wait, is his grandson

Speaker 2 are his minutes per game higher than his blood alcohol?

Speaker 1 Let's find out. I'd say probably

Speaker 1 not.

Speaker 2 All I'm saying, Big Cat, is I think that if you call yourself a major college basketball program, you shouldn't have any sort of motor vehicle incidents and you certainly shouldn't have any nepotism on your team.

Speaker 2 I agree.

Speaker 1 And you know what?

Speaker 1 Let me just say this. Maybe the athletic department will come down on this kid.

Speaker 1 Maybe. Maybe.
Who's the assistant athletic department?

Speaker 2 Also Coach K?

Speaker 1 Oh, no, Coach K's daughter. Oh, the grandson's mom.
Okay. Okay.
So maybe she'll come down. Do you think she she maybe give him a grounded on the buddy? That's probably much worse than that.

Speaker 2 Did he slap the ground before he walked on the line?

Speaker 1 People, actually, there was a Duke fan who was like, this is ticky tack. He was.08.

Speaker 1 So they have Gardner Webb, Lafayette, and the Citadel. Oh, that's great.

Speaker 4 Gonzaga, Ohio State.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so three game suspension. Yeah, three-game suspension.
I'm sure

Speaker 1 if it happens. Three games from now, he would be suspended for Gonzaga.
Actually, we should do a reverse suspension.

Speaker 1 DWIs equals three games. It should be a reverse suspension.
The grandson should have to play 40 minutes against Gonzaga. That would be fun.
Is that a funny? Yeah, that would be funny.

Speaker 1 Just watch them out there.

Speaker 1 Either way, I'm disgusted. How do you get away from it? DWI if you're not driving.

Speaker 2 Riddle me that. So it's an aiding-abetting DUI.

Speaker 2 So if you're a passenger in North Carolina, I think somebody's driving under the influence who is under the age of 21, you both get in trouble for it, especially if it's your car.

Speaker 2 Imagine they're driving your car, then it's like you gave them the keys.

Speaker 1 I just assume they're so young and so drunk that one of them was doing the pedals and one of them was doing the wheel.

Speaker 2 I think it's just good. That's good teamwork.
They're aiding and abetting each other 24 hours a day, whether it be in a car while you're hammered

Speaker 2 on the basketball court.

Speaker 1 Go ahead, Billy.

Speaker 5 The one time I heard about two people in the same car gang in DWI, they tried to switch seats.

Speaker 2 Maybe that's what happened.

Speaker 1 Do you think the grandson said, do you know who my grandfather is? So like hypothetically. I mean, listen, you know, you should never drink and drive.

Speaker 1 It's bad. He should be punished for it.
But I would like to know where this cop went to school.

Speaker 1 Where did he get arrested? Was it in Durham? Oh, UNC grad. Shout out.

Speaker 2 You got to ask the question.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 2 I, for one, respect our police officers, Hank. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So me too. You should never drink.

Speaker 1 Step down right now. Institutional chaos.
Before someone gets hurt, really,

Speaker 1 step down.

Speaker 1 What a gift that the grandson gave him for his retirement tour.

Speaker 1 Beautiful. Here you go, pup up.
What do you think he calls him? Pop-up.

Speaker 2 Just calls him coach.

Speaker 1 He calls him pop-up as a sub.

Speaker 2 He's definitely been called coach since he was a baby. Just like, this is my son coach.

Speaker 2 He just always tells everybody what to do. You think Coach K like met with the police officers afterwards and was like, hey, I just want to say, like, thank you.
You did a great job tonight.

Speaker 2 Leaned in and then really gave them a piece of his mind, but it was like under the auspice of like, I want to teach you how to be a leader

Speaker 1 in this community. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Good for Banchero that he has has Coach K's grandson to lead all the headlines. Like, that's the one spin zone for him.
True. We can all make those jokes.
All right.

Speaker 2 Also, if you're from Italy, you should be allowed to drink under 21 in the United States. Agreed.

Speaker 2 This is on Coach K's family.

Speaker 1 And it's Italian discrimination. Yeah.
Most discriminated class in America.

Speaker 2 The entire Shaszzewski family should take credit for this. Yes.
They're Polish. Nobody discriminates against Polaks.

Speaker 1 Never. No jokes.

Speaker 1 Michael Savarino, he played four minutes against Gardner Webb.

Speaker 1 What What do we had last?

Speaker 1 Is that the people we did the

Speaker 2 Polish jokes?

Speaker 1 I would never be funny. I never did that.
A screen door on a sub.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they were. The Polish Navy has

Speaker 1 tried to install a screen door on their submarine.

Speaker 2 They sent a rocket to the moon

Speaker 2 during the day.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Jake, hot seat, cool throne. Hot seats, the Mets.

Speaker 4 Ooh. They lost Noah Syndergaard, and the fan base doesn't seem too happy about it.

Speaker 2 Wait, they lost him?

Speaker 1 Like, they can't find him? Yeah. missing.

Speaker 4 Five of my friends isn't working. No, he's off to the Angels.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 4 interesting. Jacob DeGrom, of course, coming off the injury.
Now Thor's gone, and Mets fans are...

Speaker 1 I'm sure they'll take this rationally. Exactly.

Speaker 4 My cool throne is Abu Dhabi. They're hosting two NBA preseason games next season.
Now, Redemption for Fight Island, maybe.

Speaker 1 Put the court on the beach. Ooh, they have to go.
Also, Jake, pre-notification, because I'll want to bet on that, and it'll probably be at a really random time. Okay.
So make sure you mark that.

Speaker 6 Mid-October. I'll write it though.

Speaker 1 That's definitely going to be like a Tuesday. We're just walking around the office.
Like, you take the Nets or the Knicks.

Speaker 2 I just like how 30 supporters once again standing up for human rights.

Speaker 1 He's the best commissioner we got.

Speaker 2 Thank you, Adam. Best commissioner we got.

Speaker 1 All right, Billy.

Speaker 5 My hot seat is Mac Jones. Mac Jones has sort of gotten the

Speaker 5 some people are calling him the Grayson Allen of the NFL.

Speaker 2 And to add to sort of his song or he always gets DUIs well because he's a tripper

Speaker 5 he didn't he did not if he was a tripper he would have gotten fired he was fact or fiction now coming out that Mac Jones was a child actor and child model and just really sort of making everyone be like yep exactly I saw some of the pictures of Mac Jones it's he he doesn't not look like Billy football as a child ah

Speaker 1 there's one you look like there's a what's wrong with this

Speaker 5 I'm just saying people are sort of he's kind of almost like a

Speaker 5 Duke athlete, Crayson Allen type that may be, you know, sort of taking liberties that he shows on the five people.

Speaker 1 Can I give you a piece of advice real quick?

Speaker 1 The way that it's going with Mac Jones, right, like his career arc and how the Patriots look right now, we're going to have more than enough time to hate him. Let's not force it.

Speaker 1 It's going to come naturally because he's probably going to win like five Super Bowls with Bill Belichick.

Speaker 1 So let's not like the trivial stuff will look foolish when we hate him for winning five Super Bowls. We're like, remember, we tried to hate him for being a child actor.
It's going to come.

Speaker 1 Don't worry. We have more than enough time where Hank is just shoving it down everyone's throat here.

Speaker 5 Other hot seat, Rex Ryan. He does not want to be

Speaker 5 associated with Robert Salah. And then Robert Salah said, you know where to find me if you have an issue with it.

Speaker 1 Which he wasn't. And then he became.

Speaker 2 Thank you, Rex.

Speaker 2 I wasn't going to associate him at all.

Speaker 2 Did he say something?

Speaker 1 Talk about irrational confidence. That guy is.
Yeah, Rex.

Speaker 2 Hank, the man has the highest score ever in terms of problem-solving and logic in the state of Maryland.

Speaker 1 Stuart Feiner, our good friend, Stu Finer, put it best.

Speaker 2 Shout out, you fucking fat swabs.

Speaker 1 Suck my wife's fucking tongue. Just there it is.
That's his message to Rex Ryan. I just think of every time that Rex Ryan comes up.
But yeah, Rex Ryan basically made.

Speaker 1 No one was talking about him. Then everyone was talking about him because he was talking about it being like, don't talk about me.

Speaker 2 Okay, I won't. I'll stop Rex.

Speaker 2 By the way, where do you go to get tested for that if you're just in Maryland? Do they have, is there like a building that adults can go to?

Speaker 1 It was.

Speaker 2 And be like, hey, I want to get tested for my logic and problem solving.

Speaker 1 Buddy Ryan definitely did that as like a dig on Rob. He was like, Rob was acting out, and so he was like, Rex, here, fill out your name.
Boom, you're the best.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he took him to a nondescript building, handed him a piece of paper, he printed up himself. Yes.
I was like, wow, Rex, you're really smart.

Speaker 1 Your logic is incredible.

Speaker 2 Rob, you piece of shit.

Speaker 1 Fuck you.

Speaker 1 And your cool throne?

Speaker 5 Jimbo Fisher's time in Texas Texas A ⁇ M.

Speaker 5 He said, we're going to recruit an unbelievable class this year, so I'm the dumbest human being on God's earth to recruit all these guys to A ⁇ M so I can go across over there and go play against them.

Speaker 5 Okay. So not leaving for LSU.

Speaker 1 All right, so, or maybe not leaving for LSU, or put it through the college football translator.

Speaker 1 Put it through the little thing. He's saying, LSU, you got to pay me a lot more than that.

Speaker 2 That's what he's saying.

Speaker 1 He's also saying, oh, LSU, your first offer was $12 million.

Speaker 2 How about $15? He's also saying to every single kid that he's he's recruiting right now, you guys are awesome players. I love you very much.

Speaker 2 Look how much I'm talking about you right now and how great you are.

Speaker 1 You're not going anywhere.

Speaker 2 I'm not going anywhere whatsoever. Trust me, I'm staying here.
Or

Speaker 2 in the event that I do go, just letting you know, I still think that you're great. You can just transfer.
Come to LSU.

Speaker 1 Yes, because I have all this much more money now.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get to our interviews. We got Brian Baumgartner.
Did they say right at that time?

Speaker 1 Baumgartner. You'll find out.
Okay, we'll find out. And Kevin from the office, and then Kenny Pickett.

Speaker 2 Hey, it's PFT here, reminding you that Boarshead makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless.

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Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a recurring guest. Recurring in person.

Speaker 1 It's Brian Baumgartner. He's got a new book out.
It's called Welcome to Dunder Mifflin, The Ultimate Oral History of the Office. Yes.
We were mid-conversation, so let's just pick it up.

Speaker 1 You were noticing how beautiful this studio is.

Speaker 1 yes no for anyone who sees pictures or or watches this place it is it is as disappointing as you would expect it to be well really it's a very it's a very clean studio just clean yeah no like 20 hours a day it's clean and then before we have a guest we have billy just come in here and fuck everything up okay so it looks messy it's like a bit that we do we actually are very tidy people we've learned through the years that if we try to clean ourselves up then people will start taking us seriously and that's a disaster No, that, yeah, that's not.

Speaker 1 That's not your brand. Yeah, because if you walked in, I mean, are you doing the rounds today? Have you gone? Well, I'm doing the rounds.
Did you do Good Morning America? Today's show. Today's show.

Speaker 1 Okay. Are those interchangeable? Yeah, they are.
Okay. Because I always ask, yeah.
And I always get it wrong. I'm like, oh, for my life, asking a guest.

Speaker 1 I typically am, but today I'm aware. Okay, so the Today Show, you did it.
It's beautiful. It looks nice.
It's clean. Yeah.
And then you come in here and we get you to bring down your

Speaker 1 feelers like these guys are

Speaker 1 we even taping anything? It's relaxed. Yeah.
This is relaxed, though. I appreciate that.

Speaker 2 So, just like a couple guys talking here, what's the biggest sex scandal in the history of the office? Like, you know, we're not.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like you, we're not even taping.

Speaker 2 Yeah, this is just basically just

Speaker 1 locker room. There's a

Speaker 1 on-camera or off-camera?

Speaker 1 One of both. Ooh.

Speaker 1 Well, no, the on-camera. That's good.
No, that's right. That's right.
There was a cuckold, right? Yeah. Andy was the cuckold.

Speaker 1 Cuckolder?

Speaker 1 He got cucked.

Speaker 1 He got cocky. Yeah, he got cucked.
Yeah, he did, for sure.

Speaker 1 That would be, yeah, that would be it. Who do you hate the most? On the show? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Off-camera. Off-camera? Again, it's just

Speaker 1 a show, and this is just. Yeah.
I mean, there's Dip Spit. There's

Speaker 1 coffee cops. Probably say it.
Yeah, probably Corell. Okay.
Yeah. He's a Diva.
Just, he's, no. Did anyone become a Diva? No, that's the crazy thing.
And I think, actually,

Speaker 1 I don't know. Is this like Barstool or something? I don't know.
We were just a bunch of idiots, like unknown on the show. They're looking for unknown people, right? And so we get on

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 even people forget, like Corell, the little movie, 40-year-old virgin, that wasn't until season two. So that was like nobody was known.
No one had that attitude.

Speaker 1 And I think it was all of us kind of like coming up together. Yeah.

Speaker 1 it would be like your brother or something and be like, what? Shut up. You're not going to act like that.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 you guys all became more famous together. But what about at the end? Was the end?

Speaker 1 I've always wondered this about the office because one of my favorite shows of all time.

Speaker 1 And most hardcore fans would say, oh, the end, you know, when Steve Corell leaves, I think actually there's some very funny moments when he left, after he left.

Speaker 1 But the ending of it, was it, it's time to go, this is good, or were there a lot of people who are like, why can't we just keep going um

Speaker 1 it really honestly it really was like it's time to be done and here's why there's actually a very specific reason because there was conversation we talk about this in the book welcome to dunder mifflin available at bookstores today um no that that it could have like i called it er'd we could have er'd it yes right like clooney leaves you bring in whoever came onto er i don't know but like it went 20 years er did

Speaker 1 so it could have done that like Like, you know, John Krasinski could have gone and, you know, become Jack Ryan or whatever. And different people could have left.
Some could have stayed.

Speaker 1 But Greg Daniels had an idea of the end of the show from the very beginning, which was

Speaker 1 the documentary has to air. Right.
So this thing that they've been shooting, we've been shooting for nine years

Speaker 1 has to eventually air. And once it airs, it's almost like a commentary on reality television, actually, right? Because once you see yourself on television, everything changes.

Speaker 1 So the show couldn't really exist in the same form once everybody would have to be aware of how they were perceived, which we explore a little bit at the end of the show.

Speaker 1 So the idea, just to wrap up that point, was basically we want as many of the original people to be there. Like Mindy Kaling had gone to do the Mindy project and

Speaker 1 Steve had left, but most of the original people were there. And so to tell that story, those people had to be there to sort of see the ramifications of their idiocy over the years.

Speaker 2 To maybe watch some of them, if it had been extended, some of them probably would have become more diva-like than they even were because they're, like you said, they're seeing themselves on TV.

Speaker 1 That's right.

Speaker 2 You don't act the same in front of a camera after you're already watching yourself on TV.

Speaker 1 Right. Unless you work for Barstool.
Yes. And then you all just act like the idiots you are.
Well, again, none of these are on.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So this is never just exists.

Speaker 2 Like Dave built this office just just as a shrine to him. No actual content is going out.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. I thought I'd seen some stuff, but maybe not.

Speaker 1 It would be funny if you did another season where it was post-everyone realizing that they're stars, kind of like a real housewives when everyone just season two, everyone gets divorced. Right.

Speaker 1 And they have this little bit of, you know, famous and they latch onto it. Right.
That would actually be a very funny spin-off show of everyone being like, yeah, now I'm

Speaker 1 Kevin Malone NFTs and Trump.

Speaker 1 That's right. Yeah.
So there's, I can't remember if we've ever talked about this before, but

Speaker 1 I try to avoid Reddit at all costs and going down

Speaker 1 the dark hole of Reddit. But there's apparently, and I've seen the chains,

Speaker 1 that Kevin Malone is a secret genius. Have you heard this before?

Speaker 2 Yes. So, yes.

Speaker 1 Yes. So the basis for the, and this gets into your point slightly, but the basis of this, and people pull evidence, like

Speaker 1 minute little glances to camera from early on and like he's a gambler and how does he and then he gets fired and suddenly he owns a bar yeah so that is an unaired storyline how he has the bar i'm gonna fill you in on this it's gonna blow your mind okay ready so the idea is that once the documentary airs

Speaker 1 Kevin Malone becomes the fan favorite of people watching. I have in my office at home, like my face as a cartoon and like Kevin rocks and all this stuff, right?

Speaker 1 So, there became this movement of Kevin Malone being a fan favorite. And partly based on my own experience in the world, I can't go into a bar and not be offered a drink.

Speaker 1 They want to have a drink with Kevin Malone. So, the storyline is shot, but not aired, that

Speaker 1 Kevin Malone goes into bars. Everybody wants to buy him a drink.

Speaker 1 There's a particular bar in Scranton, Pennsylvania that he goes in all the time, and he has accumulated such a credit at that bar from people buying him drinks that he uses that as leverage to own the bar.

Speaker 1 That is a true written story that was shot, and the finale was like an hour and 45 minutes already. And they're like, all right, we have to cut that.
That still makes it incredible. But that's it.

Speaker 2 I really was wondering, like, how, how did you end up owning that bar? You own Poor Richards, the place, the watering hole everybody used to go. And I do kind of subscribe to that.
Kevin Malone is,

Speaker 2 I don't think a secret genius. I think he is a genius.

Speaker 2 I think he's a savant because, yes, he was a terrible accountant, but he was also a great gambler at times when it came to doing certain percentages with cards.

Speaker 2 You can't be dumb and be a great poker player. So was it just that, in your mind, Kevin Malone was that unengaged at work that he just didn't give a shit?

Speaker 1 In part, but also like there's a, there's a, there's the, the whole phrase is idiot savant, right? So like, here's the great, here's the greatest.

Speaker 1 I didn't hear, I didn't hear about this for years, right? I think the idea of this with Kevin started the basketball episode. I played basketball.
Those were, that was not edited. That was real live.

Speaker 1 That was actually one take, too, of me making, I don't know, 13, 15 footers, free throw line extended. But so that there were like weird skills that he had.
Yeah. The poker series bracelet.

Speaker 1 So here's the greatest insider writer's joke of all time. They chose the writers.
Didn't even tell me.

Speaker 1 They chose Scrant Nissity, a police cover band, to be his band, and specifically chose him to be the lead singer and drummer of this band.

Speaker 1 I didn't know this.

Speaker 1 I am not a musical genius, but apparently in the police,

Speaker 1 there's the beat, but the singing occurs off of the beat from where the normal drum beat is. So you would have to be a musical savant to be able to play drums and sing at at the same time.

Speaker 1 This is singing.

Speaker 2 The vocals were based around Sting who was playing the bass. That's incredible.
So it would be around, it would be something that he could sing easily. What's his name?

Speaker 2 Copeland was playing on the drums. I had never thought about that.

Speaker 1 You understand it. I love it.
I didn't even know. But yes, so he was also a musical savant.
That's incredible.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's just a testament, too, to people, you know, being diehard fans of the show and loving the show so much that they then watch it again and watch it again until they find out some storyline that maybe is real.

Speaker 1 Right. That you're saying might be real.
Right. They perceive it.

Speaker 2 I think it's great that they've got, it's kind of, it goes to show you what a well-crafted show it was overall.

Speaker 2 That the writers were having so much fun, that they were thinking about these little extra jokes that they could put in there. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 It really adds to the fullness of the show and makes everything else like there's an entire world that they created for themselves.

Speaker 1 So the book.

Speaker 1 How long did it take you to write this book?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Should I say like 10 years? Yeah, say 10 years.
Yeah, 10 years.

Speaker 1 No, I mean,

Speaker 1 it's been essentially two years since the beginning to today.

Speaker 1 I don't know when people are hearing this, but today. Today.
Today. No, tomorrow.
Tomorrow, today, yesterday, whatever. It's freaking out.

Speaker 1 I actually just found out I signed like 7,000 books.

Speaker 1 We just sold out today of this. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 Yes. Okay.
I should say they grow

Speaker 2 like during the pandemic, like how we got King Lear,

Speaker 2 Shakespeare,

Speaker 1 the Black Plague. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Now we got Welcome to Dunder Mifflin.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's right.

Speaker 1 Honestly, this was,

Speaker 1 you know, the show was big when it was on, right? And there's fans who watch it. It was a rabid

Speaker 1 kind of cult following, though, right? Like, it wasn't like friends when it was out in terms of just like mass media production, whatever.

Speaker 1 And then the numbers started coming out about the streaming stuff and i started walking into restaurants again and airports and going like this feels different than it ever has and

Speaker 1 the basic gist is so this was two years ago so seven years since we have filmed anything

Speaker 1 it's the most watched show on television right i was just heard the other day People talk about Squid Game, Succession,

Speaker 1 more people are watching The Office now. Now it's been eight years since we filmed anything than anything else on television.

Speaker 1 And for me, it was like,

Speaker 1 why? What the fuck happened? Like, how is it, like, what, what happened? Like, how is this possible?

Speaker 1 I'll tell you how. It's tremendously re-watchable.
Like, it is, I watched it when the pandemic happened. I watched it again full start to finish.
And I still will pop.

Speaker 1 Like, it is the perfect show that, and I think a lot of TV watchers fall into this trap now where you have anxiety of what am I going to watch? What am I going to watch?

Speaker 1 Like, what do I want to invest two hours of my night into? And The Office is like, well, let's put on The Office and we'll figure out after one episode. And then it becomes like 10 episodes.

Speaker 1 You're watching The Office. Right.
That's just what you're watching. Right.
Well, let me ask you a question. Do you think, does the office bring you comfort?

Speaker 2 Yes, definitely. Except for the volume of the intro song, which I think I talked to you about that last time.
Did you get to chat with anybody

Speaker 1 over at Netflix? No, I saw it like three bars. It's so loud.

Speaker 2 The rest of it's great, though. Yeah, it does.
It's like Big Cat said, it reduces anxiety watching it.

Speaker 1 It also, I think it brings comfort.

Speaker 1 Now, a little less now because this job at Barstool is, you know, for the most part, a joke. We have a lot of fun all the time.

Speaker 1 But I think a lot of people, I remember when I first watched it, I was in college still, and I remember being like, I wish I could just find a job where it seems like people have fun.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? And obviously, you guys, you know, it's a TV show, but I think there is that comfort to it, too. Like the, like

Speaker 1 making corporate America or the job that you might not love, trivializing it, and being like, look, you can have fun. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, I think that's probably where the comfort, some of the comfort comes from. I think so, too.
And, you know, not to go too deep, but I think that there's also like

Speaker 1 the surface thing, right? Which is like Michael Scott says horribly inappropriate things.

Speaker 1 There can be some snide-ness.

Speaker 1 It's kind of subversive in a way, which I think is why partially it appeals to younger people, that sort of subversive thing.

Speaker 1 But I think also, and this is part of reading the book and talking to,

Speaker 1 I talked to 44 people and recorded over 100 hours of interviews with people about this. But one of the things I think is that in the end,

Speaker 1 it's kind of about love and creating a family, right? Whether it's the barstool family or

Speaker 1 wherever it is and that search for people when they're going through a hard time.

Speaker 1 And I asked you that question because this is what when I'm out and about, and people will not just come up to me to like say it randomly, but they have this like intense need to tell me about a really bad time in their life that they watched the show and it made them feel better.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And I think in the end, that feeling of love, I don't know if love is the right word, but like kindness, family building.

Speaker 1 Community, togetherness, and like being in an office together and like caring about your coworkers. Absolutely.
Yeah. Absolutely.

Speaker 2 it didn't matter which character it was but there would always be a time when when somebody would have something serious going on in their life and there would be jokes all around written around the episode but like in in the storyline for Kevin when he was worried about the skin cancer and he was waiting to get the callback there's ridiculous stuff going you're like at the ice skating rink Michael Scott's just like you know flying around out there right acting like a fool but then you see there's always like a few shots of everybody rallying around that person making sure they're okay.

Speaker 2 It happened with every character, even the characters that were probably the least likable to their coworkers like Dwight Right there were times when people like lined up behind him right like Pam and Dwight that relationship between the two of them weirdly that they bonded.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no totally I think it's a lot about just Understanding that even if you're in a very boring job where your job is to literally sell paper and count paper the most boring thing that you can possibly sell probably there's still like there's a reason why it can you can still have moments of joy and you can find family and relationships inside that office.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think everyone goes through that.

Speaker 1 Yes, absolutely. So in the book, you talk about how every morning you guys had to method act your job.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so this is actually, and it was one of those things where someone, when I started talking to people, someone reminded me, and I was like, oh, yeah, because it had been a really long time.

Speaker 1 But this is like, think about,

Speaker 1 you know, network, monolith, corporation, money, bottom line. So the first season, right,

Speaker 1 we would all show up. So having to show up to work earlier than we would ever be used on camera, everybody get ready.

Speaker 1 And then at, say, 7 a.m., generally, we would go into the office and the cameras would just walk around for 30 minutes and film us. And you just were like

Speaker 1 fake work, fake phone calls, going to the copier, doing copies. Like

Speaker 1 a lot of the images actually in the credits, so like Kevin on the adding machine and Dwight with the shredder and like the copier going and stuff like that were kind of pulled and used, but like very, not 30 minutes a day.

Speaker 1 And I had this conversation with Ken Kwapas, who directed the pilot, and he said, look,

Speaker 1 so many pilots, first shows, everybody's trying to get to know each other. We're trying to introduce this whole story and everything's happening and it feels new.

Speaker 1 And he was like, this has to feel like everyone has been working here for decades. Yeah.
Or at least a decade or whatever.

Speaker 1 That this is where you that your chair has your body imprint in it already right there's no where is the phone there's no newness and so that like we would just work truly like fake sales calls passing notes passing papers walking through and i think just that time

Speaker 1 And all of us, not just for that, but all the other time. I mean, this is a hugely unique thing, right?

Speaker 1 Which was there were, I'm not going to count right now, and we know I can't, 12 actors that were in the main bullpen of the office in there all the time. There's no fake walls.

Speaker 1 They would shut the doors. There'd be two camera guys, one sound guy, and all of us in the room.
So like in terms of

Speaker 1 improving off of each other, working off each other, learning from each other, different skill sets. Oh, if I say this to him, this is a layup.

Speaker 1 Like all of that stuff happened because we were just together

Speaker 1 all the time.

Speaker 2 That's awesome.

Speaker 2 I also have to wonder how that would have gone if you had all been established actors at the start of the show and the director's like, hey, can you come in an extra two, three hours early and just hang out and pretend that you're in an office for a while?

Speaker 2 I wonder the fact that you guys were all kind of new and starting something together, if you were more receptive to doing that.

Speaker 1 Probably. Yeah.
I mean, probably, because everybody was on board. There was no like,

Speaker 1 I truly don't remember any questioning or like,

Speaker 1 like, oh, you know, or anybody saying like, I don't want to do that or nothing, nothing like that.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Did Ricky Gervais ever show up after? You know, I know he's executive producer in certain times. Was he actually involved in the creation of any storylines or anything like that?

Speaker 1 So he, I mean, he made, he made an appearance on the show as an actor. He would show up occasionally.
He and Ricky wrote an episode. This is like scratching the cobwebs of my brain.

Speaker 1 I think it was the convict

Speaker 1 episode, which is shortly after the, you know, Andy Bernard and they came over. We were eliminating actors one by one once the branches merged.

Speaker 1 So yeah, I mean they were around some.

Speaker 1 Stephen Merchant ended up directing one or two as well,

Speaker 1 but largely no. And they actually,

Speaker 1 for the book, I interviewed Stephen Merchant and he talked about he thought, because what was happening at this period of time is that British shows that were brought over were all failing, right?

Speaker 1 They were all

Speaker 1 failing. And Stephen said he thought the smartest thing that he and Ricky did was leave it alone.

Speaker 1 Like, we shouldn't pretend to know the cultural references that are funny or whatever in the United States. Like, let's let them do it.
And they feel like them staying out of it actually

Speaker 1 helped. Yeah.
Make it more purely American. Yeah.
I believe that. All right.
So I know you got to do a couple other. Is this a gimp back here in the closet?

Speaker 1 Like, what is the, do you hear that banging?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, it's the pipes. Yeah.
There's air in the pipes. Okay.

Speaker 1 And it just adds to, again, you're you know,

Speaker 1 we haven't even turned on the cameras yet.

Speaker 1 Yeah, um, right. So, my last question: you go to Roeback, R-H-O-B-A-C-K, use code PFT for 20% off your first purchase, performance Q-zips, polos, everything at roback.com, best stuff out there.

Speaker 1 Do you think Aaron Rodgers should be in jail or prison for holding a super spreader event every Sunday

Speaker 1 and willfully lying to the public about his vaccination status, thoughts.

Speaker 1 And should he have to strip his Super Bowl away? Oh, strip his Super Bowl away from 2010? Yes. 11? Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, probably. Okay, good.
All right, so we're on the same page.

Speaker 2 Would you like, as a Packers, are you an owner as well or just a fan?

Speaker 1 I am just a fan. You can buy some stock today.

Speaker 1 Is it today? You want me to buy you a share? Yes, buy me a share right now. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Right now. Right now.

Speaker 2 I'll buy you a share if you disavow the Packers for cutting Blake portals.

Speaker 2 Why did you do that to Blake? He's our friend.

Speaker 1 I like Blake. Yeah, I know Blake.
I like Blake.

Speaker 1 No, you don't. Yeah, I do.
Well, then you would stop rooting for the Packers.

Speaker 1 Listen to me.

Speaker 1 I'm worried.

Speaker 1 Worried about what? So Aaron Rodgers has tortured me. Yeah, no, I know.
And I'm worried. They're great, by the way.
The Bears. They're so good.
They're so fun to watch. Listen, Justin.

Speaker 1 They're so fun to watch. Fields versus Jordan Love for the next 20 years.
Sign me up for that.

Speaker 1 I'm worried. I think the Packers are actually going to win the Super Bowl this year.
I do, too. I do, too.
You heard that. It's actually a lock.
It's a lock. No, now you're trying to jinx.

Speaker 1 No, I saw it in your iTunes. I was in the gambler.
Everyone knows why locks never lose. I'm 1-0 in Game of the Years this year.

Speaker 1 That's not that good. 1-0? You can't win better than 1-0.
Game of the year? How many games of the year? 5-0 is significantly better than 1-0. How can you have five Game of the Years? Oh,

Speaker 1 I'm 1-0.

Speaker 1 Everybody has a a game of the year every week. Did they ever win their game of the year? No, I'm saying every other week.
What was your game of the year? It was Pitt versus UNC last Thursday night.

Speaker 1 No big deal. Easy winner.
Took overtime and also like a monsoon to show up at the perfect time for it to win.

Speaker 1 But yes. Okay.
So I win all my locks. The Packers are a lock to win the Super Bowl.
I really like the way that they, I mean, I

Speaker 1 believe

Speaker 1 you discount the game that Aaron missed, which I know you can't do, but if you set that aside and you acknowledge, as I think now, it's hard not to, that the first game of the year was an aberration.

Speaker 1 Right, so you're setting aside the Chiefs game. You're setting aside the fact that Aaron Rodgers didn't get vaccinated and lied to everyone.
You're setting those things aside.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I'm saying that they have looked the best team in the NFL this year. I'd agree.

Speaker 2 Their defense is just what sets them apart from old Packers teams. The defense is Super Bowl level at this point.

Speaker 1 I saw that.

Speaker 2 would buy you a share of the stock. Unfortunately, it says that it's non-transferable.
So if I buy it, I can't then give it to you.

Speaker 1 You can't give it to me?

Speaker 2 I can't give it to you.

Speaker 1 Once you're in blood in, blood out. You can't put it in my name? Nope.
Nope.

Speaker 1 Maybe there's a curse against Packers now.

Speaker 1 What else? Any other NFL fans? Actually, that would be a great story. I became an owner and they won the Super Bowl.
That's a good story. For who? For you? For me.
For you personally.

Speaker 1 It's a great life.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's a great story for me.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right, let's do story time. You become an owner.
Aaron Rodgers gets hit by a bus. That's a great story for me, personally.
It's really? Now you're pushing it. Well, I mean,

Speaker 1 you didn't know my injuries. I didn't tell you the injuries you had.
Oh, what were your injuries? He can never walk again.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, I think the Packers are very, very good this year.

Speaker 1 I saw a staff that was like the last time, the only times they've ever been top three in defense, and it was a list of all the times they've won the Super Bowl. They've won more than three.

Speaker 1 No, no, I'm saying top three in defense in that year. Right.
2010, 96, and then it was whenever, you know, one, I mean, those are fake Super Bowls anyway, one and two or whatever. Okay.

Speaker 1 Those don't actually count. No, they don't count.
Yeah. But yeah, they're very, very good.
They do.

Speaker 1 I assume you're enjoying every moment of this season.

Speaker 1 I really, really, really am. And in fact, I posted, the director was there.
I had a movie. I had a festival movie thing come out and I went to the, this was the Arizona game.
I went. Oh.

Speaker 1 I went to the red carpet and I took pictures and I said hello to everyone and then the screening happened and I went boop and walked back out, went to the bar that was next to me. I appreciate that.

Speaker 1 Watched the game and then the game was over and I went in and did a Q ⁇ A. I appreciate that so much.
I feel like a lot of actors

Speaker 1 kind of lose like their, you know, their fans, but it's like not, I want to watch every game fans. Right.
And I love that you're an every game fan. Then that was a big game.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I, and that was, I mean, Devontae out,

Speaker 1 that was

Speaker 1 an impressive win.

Speaker 1 That was an impressive win. Great win.

Speaker 2 And are you going to go to the Super Bowl?

Speaker 1 In Los Angeles, if the Packers are in it, yes. Okay.
That's an easy answer. We'll see you there.
Yeah, we'll see you there. If they,

Speaker 1 if not, then I don't know. Then I don't know.
I mean, they won't. It depends on what they do.
Aaron Rodgers doesn't lose NFC championship games. Shut up.
It's all I have.

Speaker 1 It's all I have. It's all I have.
Oh, the Bears are so good this year.

Speaker 1 They're getting better, okay? Are they? They're in the hunt.

Speaker 1 Are they getting better? The Harley Field is getting better. That's all that I'm compartmentalizing the entire season.
It's

Speaker 1 jaded against him, by the way. Why? I'm jaded against him.
Why? He doesn't know this, and not really. I'm fake jaded.

Speaker 1 I grew up in Atlanta. Okay.
So I'm a

Speaker 1 of Georgia. Dog, yeah, former dog.
He couldn't wait his turn. Oh, so you're going to win the national championship and the Super Bowl this year?

Speaker 1 Sigma. Look at that.
Whoa. And Georgia's very good.

Speaker 2 And the World Series.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I can't take credit for that. And I've had people now choose to say, well, you can take credit for that.

Speaker 1 No, because I, no, I just, no, I mean, like, I can't enjoy it because I'm a huge baseball fan. Yeah.
And I get, I get shit.

Speaker 1 Well, I'll ask you your opinion about this. A huge baseball fan.
I did theater for years and years, traveled around TBS. The Braves were on TBS.
I'm a Braves fan. I'm from it.

Speaker 1 I mean, I was a hardcore Braves fan. Then I moved to Southern California and said, I'm not leaving Southern California.

Speaker 1 And at that point, this was like in between TBS and when you could watch every game on the planet now on the MLB thing.

Speaker 1 I couldn't watch the game. I'm like, am I going to go back? My parents moved away from Atlanta.
My sister moves away. I'm like, I can't.

Speaker 1 What am I going to do? And I love baseball. First thing I did is I got tickets at Chavez Ravine and I became a Dodgers fan.
And I just was like, I want to go and I'm going to invest in the team.

Speaker 1 You're a teamhead. You're going to be a team.
Yeah. I'm a what?

Speaker 1 Teamhead.

Speaker 2 It's an expression of teams. You love baseball.

Speaker 1 You're a giant baseball fan. Oh, yes.
But I'm a Dodgers guy now. I mean,

Speaker 1 you can't take credit. That's fair.
Yeah, so I can't take credit for the Braves. Yeah.
But you are going to win.

Speaker 1 You're going to win

Speaker 1 the Bulldogs are going to win and the Packers are going to win. You also don't.
You get to wear the same G on everything you.

Speaker 1 Isn't that workout? Yeah, our producer, Bubba, who is colorblind, wouldn't know which team, which day of the week. You don't know which one this is?

Speaker 1 You wouldn't know which day of the week it was, depending on what hat you're wearing.

Speaker 1 It's gray. They're always gray.
It's all gray.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, Brian, thank you so much.
We appreciate it. Everyone, go by.
Welcome to Dunder Mifflin, the ultimate oral history of the office. We love the show.

Speaker 2 This is like the perfect holiday present. It is.

Speaker 1 If you know what's behind that, it is.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 well, two things. One, I will tell you this, because I think this is what is cool about actual books, because people were like, books? But

Speaker 1 we went through...

Speaker 1 I went through thousands and thousands of pictures that were like in the basement collecting dust. It's a picture book.

Speaker 1 And so there are over 100 pictures in the book that have never been seen anywhere before. You should have said that from the start.
Yeah. Just be like, it's a picture book.

Speaker 2 It's like pictures. There's a colorful book.
It's a picture book.

Speaker 1 You guys, you like pictures? It also has, I'll say this right now,

Speaker 1 very big text. The pages, you can read a lot of pages quickly.

Speaker 2 I'm just going to say right now, that is the perfect bathroom book.

Speaker 2 Bathroom book? This book was meant to be read in the bathroom. I love it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Thank you.
That's a compliment. Yes.
Thank you. That actually is.

Speaker 2 It's the only place that I read.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So it's the highest of compliments.
Yes. There it is.
Go buy it, though. Thank you.
You're always welcome back.

Speaker 1 Thank you. It's nice to be in here.
Now I'll have better expectations next time about what my surroundings will be.

Speaker 1 I think actually the nice part about doing this car wash here is the studios get cleaner and cleaner as you go. So this is the worst it's going to get.
I love it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're just going to keep going up from here. There is, by the way, guys, just to be clear, can we zoom in on that? There is a stack of laundry.
Oh, yeah. Just dirty clothes.
No, it's not.

Speaker 1 This is a thing. Well, you caught us

Speaker 1 in my business. I just want to say this.

Speaker 2 When I talk about the studio, it doesn't have to be fancy.

Speaker 1 I'm looking at, there's just dust bunnies everywhere. I mean, just everywhere.
Sounds like you're judging. There's dirty clothes.
Sounds like you're judging.

Speaker 1 There is a stack of cables unplugged into anything.

Speaker 1 Those are very important. You never know.

Speaker 2 You never know. These smell clean.

Speaker 1 Yep. Ish.
They look clean.

Speaker 2 That one smelled clean.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 I need to get some barstool gear before I leave. Yes.
We got you. Thank you so much.
Thanks, guys.

Speaker 2 Brian Baumgartner was brought to you by our great friends over at ZipRecruiter.

Speaker 2 If you're a business owner, it can be tough to hire top talent for your team, especially when you're competing with other businesses to find the right people.

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Speaker 2 You can try ZipRecruiter for free. That's ziprecruiter.com slash PMT.
ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. And now, here's Pitt quarterback.

Speaker 1 Can you pick it?

Speaker 7 And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is starting quarterback for the Pittsburgh Panthers, Kenny Pickett,

Speaker 1 also winner of my game of the year. So thank you.
I know you probably can't talk gambling, but did you know that you won my game of the year? Did you know afterwards?

Speaker 1 Like, I know beating UNC is big, but winning me the game of the year was a lot more important.

Speaker 7 Oh, yeah. I mean, I knew before the game, I had some buddies send me actually that we were the game of the year.

Speaker 7 You know, my friends are pretty ruthless, so they had to make sure that I knew about that before the game started.

Speaker 7 And then I saw some of your tweets during the game. I had to send you one.
I was congratulating you on the game of the year. So it was a win-win all around.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was a great, great game, great season so far. I was very, very nervous.
But I think

Speaker 1 are we in the trust tree right now?

Speaker 7 We're in the trust tree, absolutely.

Speaker 1 I think the two gloves make me nervous, man. The two gloves make me nervous.
Can you talk to us why you're a two-glove quarterback? I think that you're a very, very good quarterback.

Speaker 1 And I've watched a lot of pit football this year, and you guys have been playing very well,

Speaker 1 and that Clemson game was great. But for some reason, two glove quarterbacks always make me nervous in big moments.
In big moments? Yeah.

Speaker 7 Where's the translation in that?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I think it's like you just can't feel like

Speaker 2 the ball sticks to the hand.

Speaker 1 Yeah, something like, yeah, you're going to do like a tuck rule almost at the worst possible time. I think it, I don't know.

Speaker 7 I just have a better grip with it. It's been, it was something that I I did when I was younger, got away from, and then it came back in college actually against UNC two years ago.

Speaker 7 It was really, I think, the second time I did it in college, but after that game, I stuck with it.

Speaker 7 It's been working ever since, so I'm just going to ride it out.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
So if you're comfortable, I'm comfortable, but I just had to get that out there because I don't know what it is. I think PFT nailed it.

Speaker 1 It's like at the worst possible time, boom, you try to throw and it just sticks to it.

Speaker 2 I just always assume that if a quarterback's got a glove on his throwing hand. First of all, I don't know if I've ever seen a quarterback with two gloves win a Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 2 we'll have to do some deep, deep numbers on that, but I'm pretty sure it hasn't happened.

Speaker 2 But I just always assume that like the small touch passes, there's just like that fraction of an inch between your skin and the ball.

Speaker 2 I like skin on skin, and so I feel like you're losing some of the sensation that you might feel in your fingertip against the skin of the football when you throw it.

Speaker 1 Right, right.

Speaker 7 I mean,

Speaker 7 that all definitely adds up and makes sense. I haven't run into that issue yet.

Speaker 7 But if I bump into it, I'll probably take the gloves off.

Speaker 2 The other thing is the long hair, which, listen, I love it.

Speaker 1 I love long hair.

Speaker 2 I personally have long hair. I think it's a good look, but it's another thing that we've talked about on the show probably too much is that long hair quarterback, Super Bowl is that whole thing.

Speaker 2 Are you going to continue to grow it out or are you going to trim it up once you get drafted?

Speaker 7 So the long hair is good or not good?

Speaker 2 From a visual standpoint, it's good. From me thinking you can win a Super Bowl standpoint, not so good.

Speaker 7 What if we send the trend of it being good?

Speaker 7 We could start it here on the show.

Speaker 2 I'd be down for that or cut into a mullet. Have you considered the mullet?

Speaker 7 It's been enough for discussion.

Speaker 7 I think there's a lot of people in my family, especially my girlfriend, that would not be a fan of it.

Speaker 7 But, you know, I think

Speaker 7 we could definitely talk about that after the season going into next year.

Speaker 1 So this year's been great.

Speaker 1 I think you're an awesome story because like what happens every year in the draft, you get guys who kind of come out of nowhere a little bit later, late bloomers.

Speaker 1 Has there been a moment in the last year or so where you're like, oh, I'm actually now going to be a high draft pick?

Speaker 1 Because I know for the majority of your career in college, it was like, yeah, Kenny Pickett might get drafted, but he's not going to be a first rounder.

Speaker 1 Now it looks like you're going to be a first rounder. Have you had that like light bulb? Oh, fuck, this is getting really real.

Speaker 7 I'd say so. I mean, it kind of...
It's built kind of like week by week. It's just gotten bigger and bigger.

Speaker 7 And absolutely. I mean, that was the reason I came back.
The whole goal was, you know, to be able to win a championship and come back and go in that first round.

Speaker 7 I think a lot of guys have that kind of goal when they do this. I don't think I'm the first to obviously, you know, forego the draft and come back.

Speaker 7 And, you know, I'm excited the way it's going. I just hope we can finish it, finish it the right way.

Speaker 1 So, when you were deciding making the decision to come back,

Speaker 1 what did agents and everyone tell you? Like, what did they say what round you would most likely go in if you went to the draft last year?

Speaker 7 Yeah, I mean, everything I was hearing from agents, coaches,

Speaker 7 you know, some NFL personnel that, and, you know, ex-players. And, um, I mean, obviously, I mean, I had Peyton Manning as, you know, had gave me some advice and he got some information for me.

Speaker 7 And everything I was hearing was four or five, round four or five. And,

Speaker 7 you know, then maybe come back, Peyton was just like, you know, do you see yourself as that kind of player? And the easy answer is no.

Speaker 7 I just wanted to bet on myself and come back for one more.

Speaker 1 That's awesome. And

Speaker 1 it was a great bet because obviously you're having a great season, but I think it's, it's, you see a lot of times guys being like, fuck it, I want to just go to the NFL or I don't really trust that people are analyzing me correctly.

Speaker 1 I'm going to be a second round guy. And you're like, no, I'm going to bet on myself at college football and see where this takes me.

Speaker 7 Yeah. I mean, that's the thing.
I think guys, like, it's such an emotional decision.

Speaker 7 I think the best thing that I did with the decision was kind of take the emotion out of it and look at it as a business standpoint.

Speaker 7 Like, you know, I'm, I'm here, but this is, okay, so everyone has me here. I got to come back.

Speaker 7 play at a higher level in order to even be in that discussion where I feel like I should be.

Speaker 7 So, once I kind of sat down and kind of looked at it as like a number standpoint and what makes sense and what's the best for my career, you know, in my family, and that was that was kind of an easy decision.

Speaker 2 So, I want to go back a little bit to your childhood growing up playing sports because I read that you started out playing soccer when you were a kid.

Speaker 2 Might be a red flag, some people might say, but

Speaker 2 you had to quit soccer because you were too physical. Is that true?

Speaker 7 That was true.

Speaker 7 I was in a, it was like an indoor soccer league. Um, we had this like bubble like 10, 15 minutes from my house.
It was like a rec league

Speaker 7 and definitely got, you know, I had to sit out a couple games. Um, the soccer career was short-lived.
So I hope that eliminates the one red flag there.

Speaker 2 And so, so then obviously you progress playing football and you become friends with Peyton Manning. That's pretty cool that you get to be like, yeah, Peyton's just, wait, I got to take this.

Speaker 2 It's Peyton. Did you go to the to the Manning Academy? Did you go to his camps?

Speaker 7 Yeah, yeah, I went there twice. So that's kind of how the relationship started.

Speaker 7 And I was there this past summer.

Speaker 7 You know, and I kind of, I know his dad, Archie, we text once in a while. He'll send me some stuff.
So it's a really cool relationship.

Speaker 2 So I bring up his name because our friend Billy Football here, he just texted the group and said, good news, Peyton Manning won a Super Bowl wearing two gloves.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Yeah, in the rain. Was it in the rain or was it it? No, probably not in the rain one.

Speaker 2 That was the Seattle one. It was probably the one.

Speaker 1 I was that one. Yeah, but in the against

Speaker 2 the Panthers? That wasn't the rain, though. No, I was saying.

Speaker 1 No, the rain was obviously against the Bears, but I'm saying when did hearing it because of his neck surgeries? The Broncos? Yeah.

Speaker 1 He did become a two-glove guy.

Speaker 1 I mean, Rothelsberger's been a two-glove guy at times. Brady's been a two-glove guy at times.
So, yeah, we can. I just was always.

Speaker 1 Kurt Warner, yeah. I've always just been nervous that the ball is going to get stuck, and you're going to be standing there like, fuck, the ball's stuck in my hand at the worst possible time.

Speaker 1 Do you think God was involved

Speaker 1 in that game against UNC?

Speaker 1 Because I do.

Speaker 7 After I came in my touchdown and I got off to the sideline and I was sitting on the bench, I looked at the other quarterbacks and I was just like, thank God we had the ball first.

Speaker 7 Like, it was actually insane. As soon as they got, like, we finished up, there was, you know, it was coming down pretty hard, but nothing like it was when they got the ball.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 It was, it was ridiculous. The wind shifted.
Like, you couldn't get a read on the wind. It was, it was unreal.

Speaker 1 I wish I had known God was going to, it was like a tag team. I tagged God in at the end.
Um, I would have made it the game of a life, a lifetime if I had known God was going to get involved.

Speaker 1 But shout out the big man upstairs for helping me out in overtime.

Speaker 1 It's got to be so annoying when you throw a pick, right? I mean, we've got to at least address it.

Speaker 7 I knew this is what I was waiting for.

Speaker 7 I knew the last name was going to come up in this discussion.

Speaker 1 I mean, come on.

Speaker 1 When you had Chris Blewett and Kenny Pickett, you're Blewett, your kicker, and Kenny Pickett, your quarterback. Like,

Speaker 1 I think it's lame at this point, but have you gotten to a point where it's like, maybe I'll just change my name. Maybe I'll be something else.

Speaker 7 I mean, the good news about the Bluetooth and my, and my last name, we weren't here together. We're, we were kind of, so all Pitt fans had Blew it for four and they had me for four.

Speaker 7 So I guess they were blessed with eight years of unfortunate names at certain positions.

Speaker 7 But no, no, I'm going to, I'm going to keep the name and hopefully throw as, you know, less, you know, minimum interceptions I possibly can.

Speaker 7 uh to kind of you know limit limit the uh that's i'm sure twitter goes nuts about it too yeah that probably has an impact, like a small impact on your decision making.

Speaker 2 It's like, my last name is people are going to absolutely roast me if I throw an interception, so I better be careful.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's definitely something to think about.

Speaker 1 You should do like one of your big first ad deals that you do when you go to the NFL is like just legally change your name to touchdown, Kenny Touchdown, and you can get it, you know.

Speaker 1 Well, I'll sponsor. I don't know what we would sponsor there.

Speaker 2 Or just change your middle name. Yeah.
To you'll never.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's good. That's a loophole.
That's a good loophole. That's really good.

Speaker 2 I've got a very important question to ask you. So you played behind Ben DiNucci, James Madison University legend, when he was at Pittsburgh.

Speaker 2 How much did you learn from Ben? And have you been in touch with Ben about his burgeoning NFL career?

Speaker 7 Yeah, I learned a lot from Ben. I had Ben and Max Brown, actually.

Speaker 7 When I was a true freshman,

Speaker 7 they both were here. Max starred.
He ended up getting injured.

Speaker 7 You know, Ben came in and then I came in at the end of the year, too. So

Speaker 7 I had two older guys were here to kind of learn from. And I took a lot in both of their games.
And obviously, then Ben went on to James Madison. Now he's in the league doing good things.

Speaker 7 So yeah, he was definitely a great guy to learn from.

Speaker 2 I feel like quarterbacks that stick around at Pitt, they develop in a different way from quarterbacks that might just play like one or two seasons elsewhere.

Speaker 2 Because in your home stadium, there's just so much weird shit that happens there between the wind, the turf by the end of the field.

Speaker 2 Is it more of an advantage for you, like knowing where the wind's coming from in the stadium or which sections of the turf are going to be absolutely chewed up from Big Ben by the end of September?

Speaker 7 I mean, I'd say both.

Speaker 7 The win is tough. I mean, I would say it's tougher for kickers,

Speaker 7 but definitely the field is, I think, is an advantage. I think teams come in.
I always watch them in warm-ups kind of like walk every inch of the field.

Speaker 7 Like somehow,

Speaker 7 they think that's going to help them.

Speaker 7 You just got to know. It's just not a great surface, and you just got to play.
You just have to know that when you're making your cuts and everything.

Speaker 7 But I think it definitely gets in their heads when they're walking around pregame.

Speaker 1 Uh, is Dan Marino a mentor of yours?

Speaker 7 I wouldn't say mentor.

Speaker 7 I mean, we talk, you know, every once in a while, um, you know, coming on visits as a as a high school recruit, that's the guy that you chase when you see all the records on the wall and stuff.

Speaker 7 So, now that you know, I'm starting to see my name next to his, um, it's, it's an unbelievable feeling.

Speaker 1 I know he was on the part of my take too, right? Yeah, no, he was on part of my take. Yeah, he was in the van.
He loved, he had a great time. He was a lot

Speaker 7 to watch that one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, he was totally now.
Um, this is something I always think about when I think about college football and handicapping games.

Speaker 1 The color schemes and the jerseys. When did you guys officially make the switch to the blue and the yellow scheme you have right now? Because it's a classic.

Speaker 1 I don't know why Pitt ever went away from it. Was that just this year that you did it consistently?

Speaker 7 No, no, I agree. So it started in 2019, and we started to wear like throwbacks

Speaker 7 in 2016 when I was getting recruited. I think the first year they started to mix it it in.
But I absolutely, I mean, it's kind of like no one has these colors. Yes.

Speaker 7 So when you put TB on, you see these colors, like that's Pitt. You know, Pitt's playing.
So I think it's something pretty special.

Speaker 1 It's awesome. I don't, I mean, I would imagine you guys play better in the jersey.
You've only worn this jersey color this year, right?

Speaker 7 Yes. And we have like these steel city uniforms that I'm not a huge fan of.
I mean, it looks like Army. It looks like it's just not.
us. You know, I don't, I don't, I think it was a good idea.

Speaker 7 You know, everyone's hearts are in the right place, but I think we just stick with these colors. We'll be all right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the colors that Pitt has are like some of the best color combinations in all of college football. It drove me insane when you'd wear the dark navy and like the gold.

Speaker 1 I thought that was just the worst. So you're on the right path.

Speaker 2 Do you use the word yins?

Speaker 7 Yins.

Speaker 7 We'll like mess around. Guys who aren't from here will mess around and say it.
My roommate's Australian.

Speaker 7 We'll try and throw it in there a little bit, but I have a bunch of Pittsburgh friends and they say it and it just kind of rolls off the tongue for them regularly.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I feel like while if you're on, if you're playing for Pitt, you're allowed to use the word yins or you're from the Pittsburgh area, but you can't like you can't say it as an outsider.

Speaker 7 No, and I feel like I can't go back to Jersey and say no one would have any idea what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Does Dave Wanstedt ever call you up?

Speaker 7 No, no, I never had a chance to talk to Coach, but he's actually been like a pretty big supporter

Speaker 7 on TV, on Twitter. So definitely appreciate him.

Speaker 1 Wait, so from Jersey playing at Pitt,

Speaker 1 have you changed your allegiance to Sheets?

Speaker 7 I mean, I'm not a huge, I mean,

Speaker 7 Wawa is good. I'm not a, I don't have an allegiance to either one of them, honestly.

Speaker 7 I don't spend, I don't really go there. Um, if I want like a nice sandwich at home, like there's delis that are, that are just way better.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 7 Stick with the local spots.

Speaker 1 You piss some people off with that. Uh, what's your hand size?

Speaker 7 I can't give you a legit number.

Speaker 1 I'll wait till so big. It's so big, can't be measured.

Speaker 7 We could go with that.

Speaker 1 Would you say that? Start that narrative.

Speaker 7 Start that narrative, Kermi, going into draft day. That'll be great.

Speaker 1 We don't have the ability to measure his hands. They're so big.
Would you say they're on the bigger or smaller side?

Speaker 7 In the middle.

Speaker 1 Okay, good. That makes me think small.
You know,

Speaker 2 you can get massages. There are different exercises you can do to actually make your hand, what is it, your hand span longer?

Speaker 1 Have you done those?

Speaker 7 Thumb to pinky. No, I've never done it.
I'm sure I will be getting involved involved with them as soon as the season's over, but I know that's a huge concern for everyone.

Speaker 7 You know, if the pass 45 yards on a rope and I throw it 45 yards on a rope, it doesn't say like from a small hand.

Speaker 1 Yeah, are you sure? Yeah,

Speaker 1 the weirdest thing. It is.
But that's just draft nerds are the weirdest people in the world.

Speaker 7 It's yeah, it's so odd. The things I get tagged in, and then like it says like draft expert, and you look, it's like 105 followers.

Speaker 1 It's just like,

Speaker 1 what are we doing? Why are you?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is what it is.

Speaker 2 How far can you throw football?

Speaker 7 Far, probably 65.

Speaker 2 Okay, that's not bad. What's your projected 40?

Speaker 7 People think I'm slow, but I think I'm going to be in like the low 4.6s, high four fives.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I don't think you're slow. I think you actually have like

Speaker 1 it's

Speaker 1 probably the two gloves is what makes people think you're slowed if we're actually breaking.

Speaker 1 Say sneaky fast. No, but I'm thinking about it.
Like there, I we found out that there are Super Bowl winners who have worn two gloves.

Speaker 1 I can guarantee guarantee you that there's no fast guys that have worn two gloves.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't think.

Speaker 2 I'm trying to think of some.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, it's not what.

Speaker 2 But Big Ben did, and that's back when Big Ben had. Teddy?

Speaker 1 Teddy's not fast. Teddy is not fast at fast.

Speaker 2 Big Ben has... functional athleticism.
That's what you should like. You're almost too fast to have functional athleticism.
You have deceptive speed at this point.

Speaker 2 You're in like the Justin Herbert range.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 I mean, I live with that. I'll take that.
If Mike Vick wore two gloves, I'm out of the discussion, that's for sure.

Speaker 7 Definitely not in that category.

Speaker 1 All right. So my last question,

Speaker 1 which is the most important question, because you're going to get drafted in the first round. Congratulations on that.
How much do you want to pay us to be Kenny Pickett defenders?

Speaker 1 Now, we've done this for other people. We've done it for Josh Allen, Blake Bortles, Baker Mayfield.
We have a whole resume, binders full of quarterbacks that we will defend and never bash.

Speaker 1 Like certain teams that haven't won a game in the NFL this year, notice we have never said a bad word about the quarterback there because he's a good friend and we would never do that.

Speaker 1 So we can be bought. Just think about how much you want to pay us.

Speaker 7 All right. Yeah,

Speaker 7 I'll definitely think about it. All I need is like a part of my take shirt or hat or something.
I don't know if that's it.

Speaker 1 Done.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think we can make that happen.

Speaker 1 I'd love

Speaker 7 some merch, rock some merch. We definitely get a deal going.

Speaker 1 Done. Okay.

Speaker 2 Sold.

Speaker 1 We will defend you. We will defend you against everyone.
I mean, listen, you know, I was going to defend you anyway because you won my game of the year.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I am forever indebted to you because there's nothing better than winning a game of the year and being like 1-0 in game of the years.

Speaker 7 I have another question. Yeah.
Will there be another game of the year?

Speaker 1 I heard there's rumors going around that there may be another game of the year. There might be because

Speaker 1 winning a game of the year is a great thrill because everyone just compliments you about your game of the year. And to go 2-0 on game of the years would be pretty incredible.

Speaker 1 First time ever, probably.

Speaker 1 There might be,

Speaker 1 you know what? I might wait until you guys see where you guys play a bowl game, maybe ACC Championship game.

Speaker 1 That might be a rollover Game of the Year, the Kenny Pickett Memorial, not that you're dead, Game of the Year.

Speaker 7 I was going to say, if it's awesome you go 2-0, that's great. But if you lose and you pick somebody else, that makes us look probably like 100% better in your eyes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 2 If I were you, Big Kid, I would bet on somebody else for your second Game of the Year. That way he can leave college as being the only person that's undefeated in big cat games of the year.

Speaker 1 That's true. Good point.
Good point. Yeah, a lot of good ideas.

Speaker 2 Scouts will like that. Scouts will like that a lot.
Yeah, do you know who the scouts are in the stands? Like, do you know where they sit?

Speaker 2 And you're like, I got to make sure that I look really good when they're watching me.

Speaker 7 No, I mean, they come to practice, and

Speaker 7 it's funny because we do like

Speaker 7 center quarterback exchange, we call, and then I'll throw like 10 yards. And there's like, at the UNC game, there was like 15 or 20 of them standing there.

Speaker 7 I'm just curious as to how much they can get out of the 10-yard warm-up toss.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Nothing.

Speaker 1 No. Yeah, they're there.
They're there for a reason.

Speaker 7 So they're getting some kind of information.

Speaker 2 One last, last question. So this is more about the Manning Academy stuff.

Speaker 2 Is there something tangible that you've learned that they like fixed in you where you go to the camp and then they watch you throw and like Peyton Manning gives you a piece of advice and it's like, hey, I've noticed that you do this.

Speaker 2 You should change it. And then you've adopted that?

Speaker 7 That's a great question. I would say it's never ethical stuff.
They do a lot.

Speaker 7 I mean, we have a chance to ask them questions for like an hour and we go over like, you know, their off-season routine, how they prepare for games.

Speaker 7 That was kind of the biggest thing that I took from it the first time I went. And I kept that same notebook and I brought it back the second time and I was able to add to that.

Speaker 7 And that's kind of really taken my like preparation week by week. I'd stay to the next level, just listen to how Peyton and Eli prepared in the NFL.

Speaker 1 I love it. Well, Kenny, best of luck.
I just love the idea of a professional quarterback named Kenny. I think it's fucking awesome.
Kenny Stabler, obviously, snake. So

Speaker 1 best of luck. Thank you again for winning my game of the year.

Speaker 1 Actually,

Speaker 1 you got to come back and come in person

Speaker 1 after the Heisman ceremony. You'll be here in New York.

Speaker 7 Let's go. Yes.

Speaker 1 You better get invited. Kenny Pickett, if we can figure out a way to do a hashtag or stuff some ballots, Kenny Pickett to New York has to happen.

Speaker 2 Yeah, do you have a Heisman moment yet?

Speaker 1 Yeah, my game of the year.

Speaker 1 I mean, the softball question. Yeah, like that was it.
Yeah, it was the game of the year. Kenny Heisman, yeah, Kenny Heisman, game of the year.

Speaker 1 It is. All right, man.
Thanks so much. Best of luck.
Thanks, guys.

Speaker 7 Appreciate it for having me on.

Speaker 2 See you, man.

Speaker 2 What's up, guys?

Speaker 1 It's Big Cat here making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey. How do you make an Irish entrance?

Speaker 2 You ask?

Speaker 1 It starts with a shot of proper number 12 Irish whiskey because real friends don't let friends Irish exit a party without a story to tell.

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Mix it up with some ginger ale for a classic and refreshing proper ginger.

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Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.

Speaker 8 The Pro Football Football Show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game.
Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck.

Speaker 8 Whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, the Silverado is one ride that's always game ready. Just like football, it's about grit, grind, and getting it done.

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Speaker 1 Okay, we're going to wrap up the show with a little Wednesday reading.

Speaker 1 We've alluded to it. It is from our friend Dan Orlofsky.
He dropped this blog. Now, I like Dan.
This isn't supposed to be

Speaker 1 mean towards Dan. I actually think that because we're going to bust his balls here, that means he's a friend of ours.

Speaker 1 But I still don't really understand where it came out of left field, and it would be,

Speaker 1 we wouldn't be doing our job if we didn't talk about it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it would honestly be

Speaker 2 omission. People would be like, why haven't you talked about the Dan Orlovsky blog yet? And frankly, I'll talk about any Dan Orlovsky blog.
Yes.

Speaker 2 If he wants to write up a blog telling me about maybe why certain quarterbacks in the NFL are overrated this year, I'll read that.

Speaker 1 I also like the fact that Dan Orlovsky thinks Matt Nagy is being criminal towards Justin Fields. So he will always have a special place in my heart.

Speaker 1 And he's always, you know what, we'll extend, because we're going to bust them up a good one, just guys just busting each other up.

Speaker 1 I'll officially extend the offer if Dan Orlovsky wants to come on and talk quarterbacks and also how to not cheat on your wife. Or jack off.

Speaker 2 Or jack off. And you know what? We can present a counterpoint article.
Four ways to jack off on the road to the table.

Speaker 1 Yes, to him. So when he comes on, we will tell him how we play offense by jerking off all the time.

Speaker 2 So it's four ways to avoid temptation. First of all, right off the bat, guys love lists.
So he has my attention.

Speaker 1 Oh, right off the bat, not only do guys love lists, but guys love analogies. So

Speaker 1 we start with...

Speaker 1 In the NFL, I skipped the first part, but in the NFL, while defense is important, you won't win if you never score. And it's always easier to score while you're on offense.
Well, that's true.

Speaker 1 With temptation, being on offense.

Speaker 2 Dan Stanilovsky is playing quarterback for the other team.

Speaker 1 That's true. We had to get that one in there.
Sorry, Dan. He actually handles it well now.
I think there was a moment in time where it bothered him, but I think he's on the other side of that.

Speaker 2 He's like, I got to own it. Well,

Speaker 1 you can easily own it by being like, I was in the NFL. Right.
Like, that's kind of the trump card on all losers on Twitter being like, well, I got played to play football.

Speaker 2 I played for 11 years in the NFL.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so

Speaker 1 yeah, that's the trump card.

Speaker 1 So with temptation, being on offense is about avoiding temptation. How can you avoid temptation rather than put yourself in a position to have to resist it? Here are four ways to avoid temptation.

Speaker 1 Number one, focus on knowing yourself.

Speaker 1 I found that if I know my biggest struggles, I'm more likely to avoid them. What do you struggle with most?

Speaker 1 Whether it's temptation to get more money, more power, or more sex, it's important to be honest with yourself about it. Okay? All right.

Speaker 2 My only qualm with this is that

Speaker 2 if you take knowing yourself in the biblical sense, like Adam knew Eve, etc.,

Speaker 2 he's just talking about jacking off. Yes.
It's important to know each other, which I agree with, Dan.

Speaker 1 I do too. I also, it's a little, again, this came out of left field, this blog, so I have to just say, like, the only temptations he listed were money, power, and sex.
Yeah. What's on your mind, Dan?

Speaker 2 Well, money, power, sex, those are like the hierarchy of needs. Yeah.
That's the top, like, if it's the food pyramid, that's the good part. That's the sweets, oils, and fats, baby.

Speaker 1 Oh, Jesus, I didn't even realize this. So we'll have to, this is just going to be a,

Speaker 1 this is probably going to be a recurring segment now because there's a hyperlink on more sex. So it's money, power, or more sex.

Speaker 1 Hyperlink, more sex, it goes to an article that says 10 practical ways to battle your sexual temptations. No, I've been clicking all the jerk off.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I've been clicking all the hyperlinks already. I pre-clicked them, and some of them link to more all-pro dad articles.
Got it. Not by Dan, though, by other people.
Got it.

Speaker 2 So that's not a Dan take.

Speaker 1 Quick, 10 practical ways to battle your

Speaker 1 sexual temptations. One, jerk off.
Two, get so fat that your testosterone is limited and you don't even want to move.

Speaker 2 I would say three,

Speaker 2 fall asleep after jerking off. Yes.

Speaker 1 Four, smoke some weed. Yeah, that's a good way.
Because then you'll just probably be too lazy. Two, have sex or jerk off.
Five, blog.

Speaker 2 Become a full-time blogger.

Speaker 1 Six, bet the over on a game. Yep.
That's just like jerking off if you hit it.

Speaker 2 Seven, just don't jerk off.

Speaker 1 Eight, listen to part of my take. Yep.

Speaker 2 Nine. I think that's it.
Those are the only ways to avoid temptation.

Speaker 1 Nine. Nine.
Oh, no. Oh, wet dream.

Speaker 2 Nine. No, wet dream.
Good job. Hand job to God.
Yep. Ten,

Speaker 2 grow your hair out really long and don't shave for a while. It's really easy to get out of the way.

Speaker 1 No one will even come close to jerking you off.

Speaker 2 It's really easy to avoid sexual temptation that way.

Speaker 1 All right, so we're back to the regular article, the main article. If you know what you struggle with, you're better equipped to avoid it.
I don't personally struggle with pornography.

Speaker 1 Again, I'm just going to throw a flag. Dan, you just wrote this blog out of nowhere and you said you don't struggle with pornography.
I'm sorry, but you're a porn guy.

Speaker 2 Well, who struggles with pornography?

Speaker 1 Pornography is the easiest thing to not struggle with.

Speaker 2 What if

Speaker 1 your Wi-Fi is not strong enough and it's like the actual video is not loading?

Speaker 2 You don't get the preview?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's not buffering correct, so it's kind of blurry. That's a struggle with pornography.

Speaker 1 I don't think porn works on Wi-Fi. I always go no Wi-Fi.

Speaker 1 Interesting.

Speaker 2 I respectfully disagree.

Speaker 1 But that would be. I've had this problem where I'm like, it's buffering.
I'm like, it's fucking Wi-Fi. They don't want me to, they don't want me.
So I just get off the Wi-Fi.

Speaker 1 Here's a struggle with pornography. I've been asked conspiracy for a while.

Speaker 1 Sometimes when the thumbnail is different than what the actual video is, and you're like, I was sold a weird bill of goods here.

Speaker 1 That's a struggle.

Speaker 2 That's a big one. Sometimes when you click on something and then it's like

Speaker 2 stepbrother and stepsister. It's like, wait, I I didn't sign up for that.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 2 But they're just hammering that into us these days.

Speaker 1 Oh, when occasionally I'll struggle where they change the angle of the scene at an inopportune time to what you're doing, you know, where it's like, hey, now it's just everyone's asshole.

Speaker 1 Or it's the guy. And I'm like about, you know, I'm almost there, Dan.

Speaker 2 The old school porn, it was the guy's face when he was popping.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's, yeah. I don't need that close to the story.
There are struggles. So there are struggles.

Speaker 2 Another big struggle with pornography that I've seen a couple of times,

Speaker 2 my friends have told me about from them watching porn, is there's a kind of porn out there where a girl just gets like stuck in a window.

Speaker 2 She's very obviously not stuck in a window, but she's pretending that like her hands are stuck. And then a guy comes in, she's naked, she's like, oh, get me unstuck.
Right.

Speaker 1 There's a whole unstuck thing. Unstuck.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And the best videos are at the bottom, but they're not even videos. Yeah, that's true.
That's another struggle.

Speaker 1 But this is, again, it's just a little weird to be like, hey, guys, just wanted to drop this blog out of nowhere saying I don't struggle with pornography.

Speaker 2 But here we are. It's me, Dan Orlofsky.
Do you also have problems with a try not to come challenge?

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay, you don't struggle with pornography. All right.
But he said, but I know a lot of guys who do. Us, we just listed all the ways.

Speaker 1 If you're one of them, be honest with yourself about your wandering eyes so you can fight that battle. I don't think porn is a wandering eye thing.

Speaker 2 No, my eyes are locked in one location.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Also, is that like

Speaker 1 is it cheating on your wife if you watch porn?

Speaker 1 Yes. If you know the woman that's in the porn.

Speaker 1 if you're friends if you've ever bought her something from her amazon gift list if you and that's cheating if you own her lower body in a sext doll form if you've ever if you ever paid money to skype with her yes then that is those are all cheating um all right so but he said i know a lot of guys did if you if you're one of them be honest with yourself about your wandering eyes so you can fight that battle remember you don't get points for having temptation you win by avoiding it i'm gonna i'm gonna politely disagree on this one i think uh watching porn is totally normal also Also, if you're in a committed relationship and you are challenged with temptation and you overcome it,

Speaker 2 aren't you running up the score against temptation at that point? Yeah. Like, if you're afraid of temptation, you're like, you don't want to play against them.
Right. They're saying anytime, anywhere.

Speaker 2 Right. And you're ducking temptation.

Speaker 1 So stiff breeze and temptation shows up.

Speaker 2 Yeah, exactly. You're scheduling cupcakes if you're not going up against temptation.

Speaker 1 Do you think

Speaker 1 Dan is like when he slips up with the porn thing? He's like, listen, honey, I want to talk to you about something serious.

Speaker 2 He calls her.

Speaker 1 I went on UGIS last night.

Speaker 1 Like, all right, well, we'll have to do some counseling over this.

Speaker 2 Do we have any Catholics in the room?

Speaker 1 Billy?

Speaker 2 I've always wondered how confession goes. If you have to confess your sins,

Speaker 2 do you have to give the priest the entire rundown of like, well, first I went to ugiz.com. So there's a

Speaker 1 website called Blacked. But then

Speaker 2 I left because they didn't have, I've already seen all the 8th Street Latina videos on the front page. So then I went over to Pornhub and

Speaker 2 that's really what did the trick. Or can you just say, I've been tempted and I failed?

Speaker 1 Billy lies in confession.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know why. It's his practice for lying.

Speaker 1 Briefly is like, you know, you don't have to lie, Billy. He's like, oh, shit.
Billy, do you, do you ever, have you done confession recently? Not in a long time. Okay.

Speaker 1 Was that a lie?

Speaker 1 No. Okay.
All right. Number two, focus on staying busy.
I travel most weeks for work. While I'm on the road, I will purposely leave work to do while I'm in my hotel room.

Speaker 1 So he leaves himself some extra work. During these times, I'm intentionally guarding against having idle time.

Speaker 1 I know myself, so I'm guarding against the temptation to lay around doing nothing and allowing my mind to wander to a place that it shouldn't. Again, this is like, dude.

Speaker 1 The best part about being on the road is you can just lay in your hotel bed, jerk off, and get room service. That's awesome.

Speaker 2 Falling asleep after jacking off in a hotel room is maybe the best feeling ever.

Speaker 1 There's a reason why every hotel room has lotion.

Speaker 1 No one has lotion. Hotel rooms have lotion.

Speaker 2 I don't think I've ever purchased lotion in my life.

Speaker 1 No, hotel rooms are basically, it's like a mini jerk off station. It's like, here it is.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's a private DIY. It's a do-it-yourself amusement park.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
So I try to do stuff related to my family.

Speaker 1 I'll busy myself with reviewing my kids' schedule, scroll through old photos of my wife and kids on my phone, or even order flowers for my wife. The point is to keep your focus.

Speaker 1 Sometimes keeping your focus is as simple as staying busy. Now, I'll defend Dan on this.
When I am on the road, I will oftentimes like look at old pictures of my family just because I miss them.

Speaker 1 But that also doesn't stop, like, there's no, it's not temptation driven. It's just, I love my family and I wish I was with them.

Speaker 1 It's not like, oh, I'm thinking about option one, I'm going to go fuck some random person or option two, look at pictures of my kids. I just look at pictures of my kids because I love my kids.

Speaker 2 Right, Dan is basically saying that if I'm left to my own devices in a hotel room, I'm just going to do something bad.

Speaker 1 If I don't have pictures of my kids, he's constantly guarding.

Speaker 2 He has to remind himself that he has a family the entire time to not be tempted. Like I'm saying, Dan, sometimes you got to meet temptation head-on, know that you can conquer it.

Speaker 1 Oklahoma drill with temptation.

Speaker 2 Yeah, me versus you, hat on a hat. And then the next sentence, he says, you got to focus on a hobby, or maybe you can just take a walk outside.

Speaker 2 I'm just imagining Dan in a hotel room just sweating, just like shaking because he's got this urge to just touch himself. He's like, I need to take a cool-down walk outside.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's just always pacing.

Speaker 1 Every single trip I've ever taken on the road for work is basically the exact same thing.

Speaker 1 Show up to the hotel, clog the toilet, have to call down, tell them to unclog the toilet, lay in my bed for a while, maybe with a dip in, be like, text you guys being like, where should we get dinner?

Speaker 1 Go get dinner, go back to my hotel, watch whatever game I'm gambling on, fall asleep, jerk off, fall asleep. That's it.
That's the exact playbook.

Speaker 1 And there's never a moment where I'm like, where's the strange?

Speaker 2 I feel like most middle-aged men would look at that as the best vacation.

Speaker 1 I do not need to stay busy. I actually love not being busy when I'm on the road.
Yeah, so he says, take a walk.

Speaker 1 If you don't want the temptation to follow you around, don't act as if you're interested in being tempted all the time.

Speaker 1 The dad who stays busy will win over the dad who's teetering on the edge of temptation all day.

Speaker 1 I also, I will,

Speaker 1 Dan Orlofsky from afar seems like a very, very good dad. I think he coaches his kids like, so that's nice that he's throwing that out there.

Speaker 1 Although, I always wonder, like, do you think his kids one day will read this and be like, what's going on here?

Speaker 2 Yeah, maybe.

Speaker 2 And the part where he changes it up. So this started out as a battle, like you're playing a football game against temptation.

Speaker 2 And it's changed in this last section. It's now the dad who stays busy will win over the dad who's teetering on the edge of temptation.

Speaker 1 Which, again,

Speaker 1 are you teetering, Dan? Because you offered this.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 he's saying that now it's a dad against dad competition.

Speaker 2 He who abstains the longest without coming

Speaker 2 is actually

Speaker 1 the better dad.

Speaker 2 Yes. I don't know if that's necessarily true.
Philip Rivers would probably beg to differ with that.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. All right.
So number three, focus on being in a community. When I'm traveling, I'm usually on the road with a group of people.

Speaker 1 Even in the studio, there are lots of people around. So I'll often go out with a group to enjoy dinner rather than be alone.
We'll tour a stadium or finish more preparation for work.

Speaker 1 And when I say I'm with a group, I mean group. John Kittna, noted porn PSA guy.
Oh no, that was Josh McCowan. John Kittna taught me to never be one-on-one with a female.

Speaker 2 That's how you know that we're getting into the real meat of the tape once the word female makes its first appearance.

Speaker 1 You can't be alone with a female because you'll probably fuck.

Speaker 2 Yeah, these hoes crazy, is what Dan's saying.

Speaker 1 Do you think he's been one-on-one with a female and been like, I need to excuse myself?

Speaker 2 It's the Mike Pence rule. Yeah.
If mother's not around, I cannot dine with you. I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 I actually think it's a pretty normal thing to be one-on-one with a female. Essentially cutting out 50% of the people that you can interact with if you have this rule.

Speaker 2 And most normal people, when they're hanging out with a female, aren't thinking, this is a bad thing that I shouldn't be doing.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 2 if you think it's a bad thing to be hanging out with a girl, in reality, you're acknowledging the fact that the girl is just a complete source of temptation for you and not just like hey I'm talking with a girl you acknowledge that penis goes in vagina yeah

Speaker 2 that's pretty much what it's boiling down that's the subtext of anytime Dan is talking with a girl it's like you know

Speaker 1 like physically we could it fits it does yeah these pieces go together Dan should have gone to Purdue that should have been the whole blog I should have attended Purdue

Speaker 1 never alone with a girl there all right so sorry if you Purdue fan if you thought you weren't gonna get a shot randomly here it is all right right. So four, focus on your family.

Speaker 1 Often I'm in my hotel. Oh, no, wait, there's more to three.
Sorry. The point is, the less time I have alone, the better.
And that's true for all of us.

Speaker 1 Most guys I talk to fall into temptation when they're alone. The key might be spending your time around more people who will build you up.

Speaker 1 Find a group that has similar interests and spend time with them. You'll keep busy and be in a community.
Double win. There is a double win.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Well, it's also, he's saying that you fall into temptation when you're alone, but you can't go out. And if you like leave your hotel room and on your walk, you see a woman who's also taking a walk.

Speaker 1 But that's outside.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but you're still alone with a woman walking.

Speaker 1 No, then you're with God.

Speaker 2 Okay, got it. But if you live in the hallway, you step in the hallway, there's a woman outside.

Speaker 2 You sprint back in the room.

Speaker 1 Go back in.

Speaker 2 But then you're alone. Take the stairs.
But then you're alone.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I see what you're saying. It's tough.

Speaker 2 Box yourself in. It's tough out there with these females.

Speaker 1 Yes. All right.
Number four, focus on your family.

Speaker 1 Often, if I'm in my hotel just hanging out while traveling, in addition to what I already mentioned, I have a habit of FaceTiming with my wife and kids.

Speaker 1 I'll call while they're watching TV, playing a game, or hanging out at the house. I'll simply hold the phone and watch them.
It's like I'm in the house with them.

Speaker 1 It's a small way to connect with the people most important in my life and to hold myself accountable. I actually have no problem with this paragraph.
That's totally normal. I do the similar things.

Speaker 1 That one plays.

Speaker 2 It's nice. The only thing is it could also be read that Dan, whenever he is really feeling the urge, that's when he FaceTimes.

Speaker 2 And so you know, when you're getting the call from Dan, it's like, it's like a personal alcoholic

Speaker 2 calling their sponsor. It's like, yeah, I've got a boner, Dan's got a boner again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what's going on here? All right, so whether you travel for work or not, how are you keeping your focus on your family? You can say your family is important, but how do you show it?

Speaker 1 How are you connecting with them? Avoiding temptation comes down to a battle of your mind and thoughts. So, why not focus on your family?

Speaker 1 The more time your mind is on something other than your temptation, the better. So,

Speaker 1 yeah, again,

Speaker 1 this was really random. It came out of nowhere.
It came out of, it felt like,

Speaker 1 hey, guys,

Speaker 1 I'm having some thoughts about watching some porn. I need to get this off my chest so I don't.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I actually think that most of what he says is harmless, and it sounds like

Speaker 2 it sounds like he's being a good dad and a good father and just trying to be a good person.

Speaker 2 But I think a lot of us out there, Dan, when I woke up at least last week on, I think it was Tuesday morning, I was not asking myself, how does Dan avoid jacking off in hotel rooms?

Speaker 2 But now I'm always going to be wondering that. Like when he's on the road, when they send Dan on assignments, I'm going to be wondering, like, how much time is Dan spending alone?

Speaker 2 Dan, if you ever need to talk to anybody on the road,

Speaker 2 just you can tweet at us. We'll have a conversation if you're experiencing temptation.
We'll walk you through it. We'll give you some of our advice about how to avoid feeling horny.

Speaker 1 Yes. Just call us.
Listen to part of my take. Yeah, you can FaceTime us.
Yeah, if you listen to part of my take, you'll never want to fuck again. It's a fact.
It's a fact.

Speaker 1 It is absolutely, it's the anti-testosterone drug.

Speaker 2 Just skip guys on chicks. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But Dan,

Speaker 1 we will, this is our official invitation for Dan to come on and we can give him tips on how to jerk off better.

Speaker 1 That will be, and then we'll break down some film.

Speaker 2 We'll really give you tips about how to destigmatize jacking off to the point where it's not even a sexual thing. Yes.
It's just like just a thing that you do to pass the time. Also, I noticed.

Speaker 1 It's a hobby. I noticed, Dan, you didn't list, just watch the all-22.

Speaker 1 That's pretty... There's a lot of all-22, is there not?

Speaker 2 That's probably why he does. Yeah, there's a ton of all 22.

Speaker 1 And that's amounts of all 22.

Speaker 2 That's his problem with pornography, it doesn't show enough of the actual sex that's going on. You just get the close-ups.
Oh, God.

Speaker 1 And you're like, oh, I could do that.

Speaker 2 But then when you see the entire room, you've got the cameraman, you've got the gaffers, all this stuff, the lighting guy.

Speaker 2 And it's actually a lot more difficult to participate in porn once you see the whole field.

Speaker 1 I would like to actually know maybe like a little rating in the bottom right of Dan's breakdown of all 22. Like how horny was he when he was breaking that down?

Speaker 2 Carson Wentz scaled him one 11 out of 10.

Speaker 1 11 out of 10, yes, yes.

Speaker 1 All right, that is our show. Should we do numbers? Anything else, Billy?

Speaker 5 There's a chimpanzee in Spain that's addicted to watching pornography.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 1 Of the human kind. Get him this fucking blog.
I'll send it to her.

Speaker 1 Her, all right. The chimpanzees of my toxic masculinity showing.
Wow.

Speaker 2 I respect that.

Speaker 1 It's actually a good point. Why didn't Dan write this to women, too? Yeah.
They want to jerk off all the time.

Speaker 2 Should we play Brotherhood Bingo?

Speaker 1 What number? What do we got for you? 87.

Speaker 1 I want to play Monkey Bait. 97.

Speaker 5 18. 23 is out.

Speaker 1 How many numbers we got left, Jake?

Speaker 4 6, 20, 22, 26, 27, 29, 49, 51, 76, 78, 81, 88, 97.

Speaker 1 How many is that?

Speaker 1 13. 13, 97.
I'm scared. We're going to get 97.

Speaker 1 Are we?

Speaker 2 87.

Speaker 1 Remember when you stole the ball? 88. 87.
88. 46.
That feels like a million times. We've had that.
Feels like a million times. You're confusing it with 47, which is the seven time champ.

Speaker 4 46 is now the fourth time, though.

Speaker 1 Got it. Yeah.
Got it.

Speaker 2 Love you guys.

Speaker 1 Talking away.

Speaker 1 I know what I'm to say, I'll say it anyway.

Speaker 1 Today's unlikely day to find you shying away.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 1 Take on me,

Speaker 1 take

Speaker 1 me on,

Speaker 1 I'll be gone

Speaker 1 without you.

Speaker 1 Needless to say,

Speaker 1 I've upset it about each a little way.

Speaker 1 But then you're like, it's okay, say help me.

Speaker 1 It's the better to be safe for someone. Say gone,

Speaker 1 take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 on.

Speaker 1 I'll be gone

Speaker 1 with the

Speaker 1 girl.