WFT Coach Ron Rivera, Getting Larry The Goldfish Into The HoF W/David Baker & Mt Rushmore

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, Grit Week continues. We stop at the Washington football team's facility, get to talk to Coach Ron Rivera, awesome interview with him, the definition of grit, that guy.
We also went to Canton Canton we talk about our Hall of Fame visit we also have David Baker on to negotiate getting Larry the goldfish into can into the Pro Football Hall of Fame some hard knocks Mount Rushmore of worst places to fart a new segment guys on checks which actually is a winner I think we're gonna like guys on guys on checks yeah it was good a little talk about uh people's workplace you know how they navigate work

as we progress through the season every fan knows that big wins are hard to come by and tough losses

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Based on the February 2024 Nielsen report, learn more at discover.com slash credit card. Outro Music No, we're gonna rock onto electric arm and you And then we'll take it higher We're gonna rock onto electric arm and let's do it And rock, we'll take it higher You're so odd like a soldier And I can't afford a king on of My Take, presented by Coors Light, the greatest beer of all time.
Today is Wednesday, August 18th, and we are in Cleveland. We are on Grit Week Day 3.
Great trip so far. We have Washington football team coach Ron Rivera coming up.
We're in Canton. And we also watch Hard Knocks at, shout out, Maddie and Tyler, their house.
Wonderful AWLs. Hard Knocks stinks.
And also shout out Duke the Dog. Duke the Dog.
Duke the Dog really saved the night. There's nothing that can turn around a bad episode of Hard Knocks like watching it with a cool dog.
Except for Jake. Jake is allergic to dogs.
He'll never know my joy. But Jake, trust meake trust me it's awesome when you're not allergic to dogs man it is it it's the god moment if we had um we should we should actually for next year's grit week we should have like a helmet that we give out every day jake gets the grittiest guy of of the of the day because we went to their house to watch hard knocks we were there for maybe an hour and 15 minutes and jake has been sneezing and sniffling since but that's great he actually turned to me like choking back his own phlegm almost dying and he was like in his grit week after all it's okay dude i am a little bit concerned though that jake's gonna get back on the sauce on the nose spray yeah this is like a gateway like you've been so good you've been off it for such this could be a relapse no we're not going to happen what is great what is grit what's the grittiest thing you guys did on grit week well we have this guy jake who's allergic to the world and he sat with a dog for an hour my mom has a hypoallergenic dog so it's not like completely bad but this one happened to shed it happened to shed uh it it did kind of save what was a stinker episode of hard knocks i i've never felt dumber actually watching tv than i did at the end of this week's episode of hard knocks because when it was over you know what i did as everybody was getting up and like getting ready to go to their ubers i sat on the couch because i was like wait i want to see scenes from next week's hard knocks yes like it was an episode of game of thrones i was going to come on oh yeah they haven't filmed it yet because the world hasn't happened hasn't happened it hasn't occurred it was um the ending was i i had to like check myself because they had the dramatic rainstorm and uh leave schreiber was doing some unbelievable speech and then i was like wait they lost in a preseason game to the Cardinals by three points.
What are we doing here? But it was like life and death. I would say this was so it was boring because the issue at hand is there's two things that everyone wants to see.
It's Jerry Jones. Wasn't enough Jerry Jones.
And two, we want to see more Dak. And that's's the only story that anyone cares about and they can't show it because they don't want to tell us that his shoulders fucked up and he's probably gonna miss the whole year yeah i could have dealt with maybe a training camp fight that would be something maybe we could look but like a real fight yeah we had we had the rams versus versus aaron donald started that which whoever wants to fight aaron donald be my guest yeah that's the dumbest.
I'll take the knockoff Aaron Donald in the South Stands. You know what? That might have been like whoever fought him on the Cowboys was like, hey, if I fight Aaron Donald, they have to give me a roster spot.
Or they're going to show me on hard knocks. Yeah, right.
That's what he was going for. I'm a little concerned with Gucci DiNucci.
That's kind of a running theme if you've ever watched him play football. But I they're they're giving him a little bit too much face time and and he's a guy that uh he thrives in a situation where he's not on film a lot but remember I it like dawned on me halfway through the episode I turned to you I was like doesn't Mike McCarthy know him or something there is that western PA uh you know affinity they have with each other and i think dinucci's eighth grade basketball coach is mike mccarthy's brother so i think he's okay yeah i think that alone will keep him on the team meritocracy well maybe maybe practice squad i i don't know because like you can read the tea leaves we've watched enough episodes of hard knocks where they always focus on one guy and try to make him a sympathetic backstory character and then uh he gets cut oh the dude from the ivory coast is fucked and a great story which sucks because he won the game on that sack but he's like a 225 pound defensive end great story also shout out to his mom the the outfit that she wore to that game yeah that's sick i would like to see people start to adopt that style of wear because that's you can't have a bad time if you're rocking like a satin fluorescent pink outfit yeah it was and it was it was great watching his family like when the mom was like i can't stop smiling yeah it was the family episode as a father or two i i found some heartwarming moments i also miss my family i'm at that point of this the road trip day three i'm like oh i kind of wish i was with my son but that's okay i get to watch hard knocks uh the random person's house shout out tyler and maddie and duke this is how bad the episode was like one of the one of the best parts of the episode was like hey this guy speaks with a different accent and they did like 10 minutes on the english hey this guy's from england isn't that crazy yeah i do so uh i think it was it was maddie who else maddie and tyler tyler almost killed jake yeah tyler turned to me at one point and when they were doing the english thing he was like you gotta do a jerry jones impression of jerry jones doing the british accent which he did so i do have one of those ready to go if you'd like to hear yeah.
Yeah, of course. Hey, mate.
You know, this is wild stuff. You know what they call a cigarette in London? And then that's it.
I'm not going to repeat the rest because he's like he read, I've read the Matt Damon interview. Yeah.
Yeah. You can't do that.
Jerry Jones tried to do an English accent yeah when he tried to do the winston churchill speech yeah that was that didn't work well jerry is the only guy i think i've ever seen that's put on weight after the age of 75 most people just start to wither away he's just ballooning up yeah i think it's mostly the botox or the sodium yeah the botox is like just keeps you nice and plump at all times. Yeah.
Your face has the plumpness to it. But yeah, boring episode.
I don't know. Hard Knocks, I feel like.
I don't want to. I still love it.
I think we do this every year, though. Episode one, we get really excited.
Because they also have more to film. They have like two or three weeks to film.
We get very excited. Football's coming back.
And then by the time we get to like the last episode, I'm like, I'm out on this. Yeah.
Well, it serves its purpose. Right.
And its purpose is to make me excited in the last like two weeks of July and the first week of August to anticipate the first episode of Hard Knocks. Yeah.
And then afterwards, it's like, okay, just I would rather watch preseason football once a week. Yeah, I actually think that we need a think piece, an oral history of Hard Knocks, how Rex Ryan ruined Hard Knocks.
Because everyone after Rex is trying to have a moment like Rex, and you'll never have that moment again. I thought that the closest that we came was the Brown season.
Because in the Brown season, at least you had Todd H hugh jackson just like see trying to piss up the same wall the same barn and both just wetting themselves the entire time and then you also had the the infamous baker spiral yeah that was hugh jackson was not trying to do anything funny but everything he did was funny yes which is the funniest thing of all yes right um yeah what was your mojo moment from this this week? I think mine was... No, you can go first.
I'm trying to decide between two. I was going to say, well, in real life or in Hard Knocks? In Hard Knocks.
Okay, because in real life, it was them, Tyler and Maddie, giving us guacamole, which was homemade. Yeah, it was a great guacamole.
That was a mojo moment. After we had like 3,000 chips at dinner.
I chip myself to death. I do that every time i go to mexican food i always chip myself to death i just sit there and you don't even need to bring me dinner i ordered five tacos and by the time they came i was like i'm gonna puke you got persevere you know i just i bury myself in chips i can't i'm like but then you had more at the house yeah oh yeah i'm like a labrador that like you put the food out and they will literally eat themselves to death.
If you put enough chips out, I will eat myself to death. That's what a husky does.
A husky, because their instinct is like, I don't know when my next meal is going to be. I'm a pack dog.
I'm pulling a sled. I better get my calories in.
Yeah. The guacamole was fantastic.
It's death by chips. That would be on my tombstone.
I still think about when we went to the Final Four in san antonio and i chipped myself to death for like four days straight um my mojo moment from hard knocks was demarcus lawrence saying i don't like to turn my back on the ocean yeah that was that's great life advice i don't know why but now from now on i'm never going to turn my back on that ocean yeah mine was um when they did the yoga man card uh and then they zoomed in on the guy's t, and then they went to Zeke Elliott being like, my gooch hurts. That was great editing.
It was very good. Have you seen...
Well, it was kind of weird. They all put the towels over their heads and laid down.
It looked like Heaven's Gate. It was a really strange setup.
I think that was the sun that they were trying to get away from, but it might be wrong. Okay.
I think it was that simple. That makes sense.
My mojo moment from this week was um i'm gonna say so far from today well me and big cat apologizing to each other we had an apology off because we did go to canton we went to visit larry's grave site r.i.p larry or gambling goldfish larry too and um his grave has been defiled uh he's been dug up the tree has been defiled and his tree. Yes.
They cut down his tree, which is a real problem with CO2 that we're having right now. Like, we need all the trees we can get.
And they chopped his little tree down. And we were looking for his grave site.
But unfortunately, without all these landmarks that we have to find Larry, like his plaque, which has also been removed, I thought it was in this one location. We got there and we're like, well, it's not here.
And then Big cat was like no we're it was way further down this road and i was like no you're wrong and then big cat was like no you're wrong no i was like there's no tree there yeah there's no tree there and so big cat and i were we got to do a back and forth saying like i will accept my apology anytime now we said that to each other and then after we realized we'd been duped and the tree was cut down we both were wrong and right we admitted to each other that we were actually both right you had the location right i had the fact there was no tree there right yes and yeah they my i thought for a second there that we were losing it they were like all right we got to hang it up because we can't figure out like a pretty significant detail in all of our lives i'd say there is funeral uh we had just it just erased from our memory but we've sorted it out we have David Baker on the show we are going to get Larry into Canton so you'll hear that the Hall of Fame was awesome though, walking around we got like a view of John shout out John, who's their archivist he took us in the back we got to this really cool stuff. Just an awesome time.
Yeah, it was great. We do have a code blue situation on the bus, though, on the RV, which is the generator's dead.
And so now there's no AC. There's no power on the bus.
So Billy's going to be sweating out there. It's humid.
You know what? The bus actually turned humid on the drive from Canton to Cleveland.

I don't think I've ever been humid inside of a car before, but there we were. So our bus driver,

Ben, said that he tried to fix it, but he doesn't have any tools. Corey told us.

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Yeah. It was just a, there was a bottle cap situation.
I can't get people out of my bed. We hit a bump.
And it was like, whoops, I'm on Billy's bed. I definitely left my, my beer can that was mostly empty, almost all the way empty on the top bunk.
Yeah. And then Jake got into it on the first night.

He's like, I'm going to just go climb up there first thing.

And I was like, oh, no, he's definitely going to feel how wet that mattress.

And then Jake comes immediately back down with a can of beer

and, like, throws it in the trash.

So our bad, guys.

Our bad.

That was, you know, that was a joke, a prank by us.

Listen, we're messing.

This is the road life.

This is when me and Big Cat get back to our roots,

which is just essentially spilling liquids on things.

Yes, random liquids on things. And not telling anyone.
That's the important part. Yeah.
I didn't think it was. Spilling liquids is normal.
It's never telling anyone that you spilled anything ever. Jake, would you rather sleep on a mattress that's been soaked in Coors Light, like old, warm Coors Light, or have an extremely cute dog sleep on the mattress with you? Give me all the time with the Coors Light.
Mountains are blue. Okay.
The sheets are blue, too, in the RV. What if I told you you can either not sleep or you never get another pillow ever to sleep on ever again for the rest of your life unless you sleep on Duke as a pillow for one night.
If it was during Grit Week, I would be gritty. Yeah.
Grind it out. Yeah.
And let him kiss you on the lips, too. Yeah.
Kiss you up and down. Hank, check in with you.
Are you good? Yeah. All right.
The grittiest of us all. Hank, you get some sun today? Nope.
Why are your eyes red? I'm tired. Yeah, me too.
Yeah, I'm very tired. Ezekiel Ellic looked really tired today, too.
Yeah, I'm super tired. I mean, I actually haven't even...
You guys are inferring something that I haven't even done. No.
I wish I could say that was the reason, but I'm actually just tired. Hank also bought some shades in the Canton Pro Football Hall of Fame.
Dude, they're fire. Do you have them? They are.
They're fire. I don't have them.
Pro Football Hall of Fame gift shop. I'll wear them in Buffalo.
And he looks like the biggest douchebag ever. It's awesome.
They're awesome. They're team-issued.
They're team-issued. Silver Patriots, like Oakleys, that are so funny.
They It's a definition of like they were on the counter when you're checking out. Oh, I got to take those.
They look like they're straight out of like 1997. I bet.
Like the Jared Karabas edition. They look like the same glasses that Gaz is wearing when he's getting taken out of the NFL HQ.
Yes. With his handcuffs on.
Yes. That should be in the Hall of Fame.
Oh, that was the only other thing I had to mention. Hank and our sales guy, Nick, who's with us, they were...
Liam pointed this out to me and I watched you guys do it. They basically spent the entire time walking through the Pro Football Hall of Fame cataloging any and all slander against the Patriots.
They were taking pictures of the helmet catch being like, they shouldn't be here. Like, where's Belichick? It was so great.
They're like, this is bullshit. Yeah, what did you think of Goodell's chair? Didn't care for it.
Yeah, it's on the list. I mean, it's one of those things where it's awkward because, like, you know, the Pro Football Hall of Fame opened their doors for us.
So I don't want to, like. No, you can say it.
It's a piece of shit. It's also the very first thing you see when you walk.
Hall of Fame is great. Hall of Fame is great.
So I did get a chance to sit in the chair. And as I was leaving, the lady that was helping us out with the tour, she told me that Roger Goodell actually wants that chair back

for football season.

So he didn't even donate it to the Hall of Fame.

Yeah, the worst.

He's Washington football team giving the chair.

So they can invite more people over for charity

and then never have them come over.

Yeah, basically.

And also his M&M holders in there too.

Yeah.

Jesus Christ.

It's a bit masturbatory, Roger.

Yeah, Roger Goodell's Hall of Fame, pretty much.

All right.

Should we get to the rest of the show?

So we got Hot Seat, Cool Throne, Ron Rivera, David Baker getting Larry into the Hall of Fame,

Mount Rushmore of Worst Places to Fart, and what's the last thing?

Oh, guys on checks.

Holy shit, that's a huge show.

Big show.

We're going to get right back to the show.

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All right, back to part of my take.

Okay, Hotsi, Cool Throne, Hank.

Dan.

Henry. Henry.
Daniel. Are you going to do it? Yeah, okay.
My hot seat is the Boston Red Sox. Oh, okay.
Why? I thought they were like way ahead of the Yankees. They're now only one game they lost today.
First half a doubleheader. Second game is going on right now.
They lost the first game. They're only one game ahead of the Yankees.
The Yankees are 21-9 since the All-Star break. The Reds All-Star 14-16.
So we got a good old... And Rizzo, you know, Rizzo came back.
They got a little momentum. He got COVID.
They got Gallo. Gallo, my boy.
When's Schwarber going to play? I think he played the other day. I think so, too.
No first at at bat home run, though. But Schwab will get hot.
How'd you break our boy? I don't know. I don't know.
But yeah, it's going to be a fun fall, though. Yeah.
Classic pennant race. You get nervous? Classic pennant race for the wild card.
For the wild card spot. Hey, I know you very deeply care about the Red Sox all year round.
I know. That's a given.
But when do you really start to get into them right about now this is i mean not probably not till like september mid to late september and then definitely october if they make the playoffs but a red sox yankees pennant race for the wild card is enough to catch my attention and i'll be tuned it demands your attention right now right you got the alert like hey henry lockwood we need your attention show up Let's go. Right.
And they have it. I'm here.
Okay. Perfect.
And then my cool throwing. If they lose, let's say, the next seven games, will your attention now be off of it? Well, if they're out of the pennant race for the wild card, then yeah.
Okay. And then my cool throwing is cold activated shirts and cups.
Ah, yes. We were talking about this on the bus.
They came out in the disc golf video video. It's one of those things that, I mean, they're cool, but it's like, how do we even do them? Yeah.
It's a modern marvel that we're selling, we're profiting off of. It's nice.
They're cool little things. But when you actually wrap your mind around it, can you guys tell me? I was asking Billy.
Billy couldn't even come up with an answer. Billy usually has an answer for everything, whether it's right or wrong.
Mostly wrong. He was stumped.
The mountains turning blue on a can of beer is probably the best scientific achievement, maybe ever. But now they have the cups and the shirts.
So we have shirts. We have cups.
The cups, like you would have thought that we had just all watched like the RV go to the moon because we got on the RV. There we have these mugs they were clear all day someone had put a couple into the cooler pulled it out like dark blue and everyone was like what how the fuck did this happen and then they pulled it out and then slowly it went back to clear and it was like oh my god and it's going back so the lesson is yes it's incredible technology and also our brains are maybe like a little bit better than like a kitten's brains where uh we can be fascinated by these smallest littlest things well even better than taking it out of the fridge when you pour a cold beer into it yeah you can watch the cup like the beer looks like it turns blue as it goes up the side it's it's a science experiment like you could probably get an a if you if if you have a third grader out there and they're looking for a last minute thing to bring into class just give them a coors light and a frosty mug and tell them report for their teacher it's like the iphone some genius spent all their time making this like modern marvel of technology just so like moms can play candy crush yes yeah yeah like someone some scientists spent a lot of time figuring that technology out for it to just go into beer cups also so people could rant into them in their trucks right that's really the best part about it yes um is that it yeah pft great job thanks um my hot seat is fun fun's on the hot seat sorry uh because mr mara excuse me-owner, Mr.
Mara, and all the people out there referring to him as John Mara, you might as well call Deion Sanders prime or call him Deion and not coach because it's disrespectful. Co-owner John Mara was the driving force behind the new taunting penalty in the NFL, the one where you see the guy in the Colts that got the flag for essentially just standing up and screaming after he ran over the entire Panthers defense so Mr.
Mara was the one that that is enforcing it um it's it's honestly stupid like he was saying that uh nobody wants to see this and we all oh you got the quote yeah here it is so he said we get sick and tired of the talking that goes on from time to time well first of all i'm gonna stop you right there it's time it's not even like talking that goes on all the time from time to time we get sick and tired of something no uh it's just a question of whether you can have rules that can be enforced and without taking the fun out of the game nobody wants to see a player taunting another player i know i certainly don't i'm gonna have to say that i absolutely do i'm i'm i am put me up for the when he says nobody put me on the list of somebody who does want to see taunting all the time because when he says we get sick and tired of all the talking who is this we bullshit from time to time it's just john mara that gets sick of it

by the way mr excuse me if they were good he would not have cared as much exactly that's the thing it's like i can make a rule uh if you play basketball against me i'm gonna outlaw dunking for both of us yes it's like oh no daniel jones isn't allowed to taunt after all his spectacular plays yeah you guys stink and you get taunted on yeah and that sucks and john mara if Mara, if you take one look at the guy, Mr. Mara, he is the man.
He is the machine that needs to be raged against. He looks like when you die, if you still have a boss, that's what he looks like.
Yes. He's the antithesis of fun.
He should be starring in The Crown. Yes.
Because's basically uh a monarch in england but it's actually in new york and he just says no fun for you he should star in downton abbey as a portrait that hangs on the wall of the most boring character's house yes so that's i've never seen that show but i think i nailed that yeah you did your cool turn oh yeah my cool throne my cool throne uh is bill butt. Yeah.
Billy's butt's on the cool throne. Now it is.
Yesterday, not so much. So we went out to the Buffalo Wing Factory in Sterling, Virginia, one of my favorite places growing up, and Billy attempted the Flatliner Challenge.
What is the Flatliner Challenge? That's a good question. Billy, do you want to answer that? I can keep going.
Well, we have a video coming out. So why don't you explain the challenge? But don't tell us what happened.
Ten extremely hot, hot wings. It's going to be awesome.
You're going to fucking crush this. I'll put it this way.
These wings are so hot. My friend Taylor, we dared him back in high school to take a shot of the flatliner sauce.
He did. He sprinted out to the parking lot and started puking everywhere.
They called an ambulance. So this is a really good.
This is going to be great. All right.
So tune in because we have Billy trying it with special guest Stanford. Steve, who had lunch with us.
I Billy. Listen, I know there's some haters of Billy.
This will win you over. What time should we do it? 7 o'clock? 7 o'clock? 7? Tomorrow?

Yeah.

Wednesday?

Yeah.

8 o'clock.

8 o'clock.

How about this?

If this tweet, with this video on it, gets 200 retweets, that's when it comes out.

Well, no, because we're going to schedule it, then we have to go out all day.

Yeah.

8 o'clock.

8 o'clock.

Good night's try.

Listen, I'm looking out for the team here.

I'm trying to get our numbers up.

Corporate's been breathing down our ass.

8 o'clock.

8 o'clock.

Excited.

Billy, we're going to crush it.

One sneak peek. Can people breathe down your ass? Yeah.
Oh, yeah. That's awesome.
Wait, don't say anything because, I mean, this is going to be like, we're going to crown our champion. You know how you say that you can't drink two cups of milk in an hour? I've never said that.
Two cups of milk in an hour? I'll drink two cups of milk. What's that? Give me a minute.
I'll drink two cups of milk in an hour i've never said milk in an hour i'll drink two or i'll drink two cups of mint what's that give me a minute i'll drink two cups of milk what's that myth about drinking milk it's a gallon of milk yeah oh well that might have been disproven as well okay okay all right there we go gonna be a great video watch billy yeah watch me go i take war mode on the chicken wings subscribe all right my hot seat is is anyone who likes Tim Tebow because he got cut. And the farce of Tim Tebow actually trying out for the Jacksonville Jaguars and being a tight end.
I'm not even mad about him taking a roster spot. I'm just sick of Tim Tebow, especially the fact that he was asked to be a tight end like 10 years ago when he was still in the NFL, said no, and now he tried again, and he sucked.
Yeah. If you know any Skip Baylesses out there, give them a call today and check in on them, see how they're doing, because it's a tough one.
I kind of almost want to see LeBron James just go out for the Rams on a whim this season. I'm sure he'd be better than Tim Tebow.
And catch 10 touchdown passes just to watch Skip Baylesses' head explode on this one. I'm sick of him.
It was always a sideshow. He was never going to make the team ever.
But people, wait. I love talking about Tim Tebow.
I thought you, didn't you? Didn't you say? If you honestly think. He was going to maybe make the team? If you honestly think that I like Tim Tebow and I want him to be a great player because I'm rooting for him, then we don't see.
My thing with Tim Tebow is I love talking about Tim Tebow. Okay, okay.
But you thought maybe he would make the team. I thought that Urban Meyer might be blackmailed by Tim Tebow.
Got it, got it. Yeah, I never thought there was a chance.
And I'm like, they sold... They were number one seller in Jersey for two days.
They robbed people of their money. No refunds.
Not a dime back. And now Tim Tebow is cut.

And then my cool throne is

the New Orleans Saints because

they just signed Kevin White, Rookie of the Year.

So Jameis Winston to Kevin White.

I think I have a second team.

I don't know what else I can say.

That Jameis video

today of him humping the air?

On Sunday night. Oh.

My bad. I saw it today.
That Jameis video I saw today of him humping the air was Sunday night oh oh okay my bad I saw it today that James video I saw today of him humping the air was awesome yeah it was sick okay uh you kind of ruined like that sucks for me but whatever all right Billy go ahead what no it just sucks I I like it sucks when you know when I say like when someone says like oh that video is like well actually you missed it it's a shitty feeling I feel It's a shitty feeling. I feel bad about myself.
I retract my correction. I feel bad about myself.
My hot seat is just students from middle school to college. Our nightmare has returned.
Back in 2013, no, there was an app called Yik Yak, which absolutely destroyed people's lives, especially adolescents at a very impactful age. If you don't know, Yik Yak was an anonymous message board of source where basically with your geographic location, you could post a message anonymously.
Okay. So rumors were spread.
No. No, dude.
It was all there. Oh, it was a goddamn war zone.
I mean, you could basically post anything. If were in a high school setting right like you could just go to high school and then just like post something on that geographic location and everyone would check the feed and like see like oh this person cheated on this person over the weekend and like shit would go nuts and it was a huge rumor mill football in the bathroom talking about being a wide receiver it actually it just sounds like a bathroom wall that got turned into an app.
Right, but the thing is the janitor goes and scrubs the bathroom wall if something's put up. People could be pinned.
So what happened to it? It's back. It's back.
But also, cool thrown freedom of speech. This was cyber-bully central.
Ask FFM, Yik Yak. What happened to you, Billy? No, no, no.
I mean form spring. I'm just saying it made a group of very tough individuals who had to grow up being in sixth grade and seeing shit being put up.
That does sound horrible. Impactful age.
I don't have children. I don't know what it's like to raise a kid in this environment.
But I feel like kids, until they're out of high school, just shouldn't have apps. There's nothing good that comes from having an app as a child.
Yeah. Also, my other hot seat, Travis Kelsey.
His beard has shaved. Everyone is just going after him on the internet.
On Yik Yak? Yeah, basically, if there was Yik Yak at the Chiefs camp, it's probably all just roasting Travis Kelsey for Kells. Kells, thank you, Jake.
Pronunciation guy. I don't think he looks that bad, though.
People are like, oh, wow. It looks good.
Travis Kells looks awful. I think he looks good.
Yeah, when people shave their beards, they usually don't look that bad. I agree.
Yeah, it's not. It wasn't jarring at all.
Just totally normal. Yeah, totally normal, clean-shaving guy.
He looks kind of like if Joey Chestnut played football. I can see that.
Or like a Mormon Henry Rollins. But he still is, I don't know, he still looks pretty normal to me.
Agreed. And my cool throne is Nick Saban.
When told about Oregon having 100 different uniform combinations, he said, we have two. Red jerseys at home, white jerseys away.
Our main concern around here is who is wearing them. Love it.
Football guy. What do you got, Henry? Ben, the RV driver.
Who's quite a character. He said, you can let the guys know that I got the generator AC going for at least now.
The slide is still not working and I'm out of ideas on it. Figure I better be happy with what I got done.
I love the end of that sentence, by the way. That's him saying like, I just quit.
He's like, I figured it would be good if I could just be happy with what I was able to accomplish. Also, the generator working for now when we don't have to go anywhere for like 12 hours.
That feels like when he says for now, we're going to get on the bus tomorrow morning. And he's going to be like, well, I told you guys it was working at 7 p.m.
on Tuesday night. What do you want me to do about it? That means that he currently has the internet on the bus.
Yeah. I have faith.
Okay. All right, Jake, your hot seat is cool to run.
My hot seat is playing jerseys. It's the NHL, like the bus.
I have faith. Alright, Jake, your hot seat cool to run.
My hot seat is playing jerseys. The NHL, like the NBA, is adding advertising to their front of the jerseys in 2022.
I feel like it's inevitable for NFL. I'm fine with it.
Who cares? Remember when they said it was a big deal because the NBA was doing it? It happens and you're like, okay. They do it with practice jerseys in the nfl yeah yeah it doesn't it doesn't matter it's going to happen it's like you don't go to a sporting event anywhere in the united states and be like wow i had no idea there was all this corporate influence until there was a small patch on one of their jerseys right except except for the record when baseball does it i'll be mad just be mad at baseball for doing it too late yeah it's a nothing burger fair uh and then cool thrones the nba schedule we had the release of opening night christmas day christmas day nets lakers well wait no christmas day packers browns oh is it a conflict again they released their christmas day schedule there's two nfl games sorry nba what day of the week is it this year? Not going to be watching that.
Christmas Day, I think, is a Saturday. Remember a few years ago they just made the NFL slate on a Saturday? Yeah, they do that every year.
They do like a Saturday. No, they had like Red Zone on a Saturday.
Yeah. A few years ago.
Do you think that there's any day of the sporting calendar that the NFL could not take over? If Roger Goodell was just like, you know what? We're going to do a game on the, like, remember the Titans field on this day. Let's just say hypothetically.
No. What field is that? T.C.
Williams High School. It's, it's, the NFL.
So the Browns and Packers play at 430 and the Colts and Cardinals played 815. I'll be watching both of those.
Sorry. I like I'll watch the NBA, but the NFL will always just take whatever they want whenever they want.
Yeah. So I think the only maybe like the opening weekend of March Madness, that would be tough.
Yeah, I would watch March Madness. Yeah.

But I don't think the majority of America would watch the NFL.

Yeah.

This ball is life for me.

It's a rough vacation schedule.

Opening night, Nets, Bucs, and Warriors, Lakers.

That's in October.

What is it?

Nets at Bucs, Warriors at Lakers.

Okay. I'm actually really excited for this upcoming NBA season,

more so than I've been in a long time. I'm pumped to see the Warriors again.
They're actually going to be the Warriors again. What else do you – give us a quick top three things you're looking forward to.
Okay. So I'm also looking forward to the Washington Wizards, how they treat Bradley Beal as the guy now that he's no longer one of two guys.
I'm also looking very much forward to Luka. Can he get out of the first round or the second round? Can he get to the third round? And then I'm also looking forward to actually your bowls.
Yeah. The additions that they've made in the off season.
That's going to be great. Another thing to watch in the NBA this year is going to be the continued proliferation of the Clippers.
Can they get it done? Yeah. Will Dame get traded? Will he force a trade? Will he force a trade? I'm so sick of Damian Lillard.
I've got NBA fever, Dan. Damian Lillard is doing the...
He should just... He can force a trade.
Everyone can force a trade in the NBA. Yeah.
He's pretending like he can't. Yeah.
Just force a trade. Also, the Boston Celtics have Marcus Smart again.
That's going to be fun to watch. Yeah.
Did you guys have a 7 mil? Patrick Beverly got traded twice in two days's tough. So especially the way that he was tweeting about it.
And he was all excited to join. First, he was excited to go back to the Clippers.
And then he got traded. Then he tweeted out, like, grit and grind for the Grizzlies.
And then he immediately got traded again. Yeah.
Tough. Tough breaks for Pat Bev.
All right. Let's do our interview.
We got Coach Ron Rivera at Washingtonhington football team camp uh before we do that pfc you got a quick ad yeah before we get to coach ron i want to talk to you guys about our great friends over at logitech and their ultimate ears department we love the essential technology that we use every day whether it's one device all day or if you switch between several with how much we rely our devices, it's easy to forget about the hardware that we're born with, like the ear. Same as fingerprints, no two ears are exactly alike.
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Promo code PMT at ue.com slash fits. And now here he is, Riverboat Ron.
Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest brought to you by Coors Light. It is Grit Week.
We have Coach Ron Rivera, Super Bowl champion, 85 Bears, coach of the Panthers, now coach of the Washington football team. Coach, thank you for joining us.
We start every interview we do in Grit Week talking about what is grit. So what is grit to Coach Ron Rivera, and when do you know you see grit, and how can you feel grit? Attitude.
I really do. I think it's all about your attitude, the way you project things, the way you handle things, the way you deal with things, the way you approach things.
I talk to our players about attitude every day. And one of the things that happened, you'll appreciate this, from 1984 till about 1991, we had attitude in Chicago.
We had grit. We'd get off the bus and know that was worth seven points.
You know what I mean? I mean, you really feel that. To me, that's what it's about, especially in this game.
If you have the right type of attitude, you have the right type of approach, people feel it. People know you're for real.
So to me, grit's all about your attitude, the way you project. I love it.
And first of all, how are you feeling? How's the health? You got energy? Where are we at right now? I'm feeling pretty good. My energy levels are, that's the thing that goes up and down still you know I've been very fortunate a lot of my tests have all come back and and and the doctors have all been pleased with everything I've been doing so far but the the one thing that he told me he says you know it's 12 16 18 month process you're not going to feel like you normally do this time of year so you just got to continue to work with it stay with it and so that's what I've been having to do is uh is kind of you know work with it and uh I have my moments yeah you could have said for the grit question that grit is fighting the NFC beast and cancer at the same time because I mean a remarkable story inspiration I would say to a lot of people um what you're able to do and you know I was listening to an interview you had about you know even days when you you felt like you weren't up to it but you were there practice and you you know you were there for the team I'm sure that that would you say that had something to do with how you guys performed last year winning the NFC East and kind of coming out of nowhere as a team I think so I think it had something to do with it I mean we had a lot of great stories with this football team and a lot of things that we had to overcome.
I mean, Alex Smith's story is about as good as it gets. It really is.
And I think that helped too because I will say this, there wasn't a lot of complaining last year. And I think our guys, that kind of helped them to understand just, you know, I guess a little bit of what it takes to play in the NFL.
And the thing also that I really do appreciate is just really how the players handled themselves and were as professional as they were. So a lot of good things came out of some of the things that we had to battle last year and overcome.
Yeah, I remember when Alex got into that game for the first time. I know that was a goal of his to get back on the field and to play and he got hit.
And if you're going to choose one guy to get sacked by on your first contact, you're probably going to choose Aaron Donald no probably go with a smaller guy a guy that's not like you know the best defensive player in the league um but when we were watching that it was like it was uncomfortable for us to see it but we were also thinking to ourselves like Alex probably enjoyed getting hit it probably made him more comfortable like knock some of that rust off a little bit he got back into the zone you as a coach were you having to balance uh like looking after the health and well-being of your player compared to knowing that Alex is a competitor and that he wants to be out there and he'll be okay like how did how did that balance work into your decision making you know it was it was a little bit tough because you know at first really didn't know and try to learn and understand to get a better feel for where he was but as things began to progress and you got to see him work more and more and see how much he's accomplished and how much he's pushed himself through, you got more and more comfortable. And then, of course, we put him in the ballgame against the Rams and hold your breath.
And like you said, you'd much rather have it not been the defensive player of the year. I mean, you'd much rather it be a little small corner or something like that coming off the edge and you know bouncing off of him but uh it was good for alice to take that shot because uh boy he played with a lot of confidence he really did yeah i should have mentioned by the way at the top we are outside at the washington football team facilities they were gracious enough to to host us but if you hear a plane going over that's why uh but it's it's a great setting we're on a football field doing an interview on a football field with the bus right next to us um all right I want to talk about defense real quick so you've been a part of some incredible defenses obviously the 85 bears the 06 bears this team right now that you have is special defensively yes is there like a certain uh you know thing that that kind of you can see in all three of those teams that you've seen now in this team? You're like, all right, they're special for this reason.
I've seen it before because I've been around these kind of special defenses. Give me my driver, please, because he teed this up perfectly.
That was a good one, right? Grit. Letting you go for it.
Yeah. I love the grit.
Yeah, I really do. I think you could say all three teams have grit they have the attitude that you look for in in in groups that they just know that you know if they go out and play their game do the things they're capable of they give themselves a chance to win and and that's the thing i like about these young guys right now is i think they're developing that they're feeling that they know what it's like you know it's funny a lot of people said you know why are you doing what you did last year why did you do that you could have gotten a better draft pick but what we did was we developed our football team we put our guys in position last year that they had to play down the stretch to get into the playoffs so when you look at from Pittsburgh on it was it was playoff situations circumstances it was tough was hard.
And then winning and getting into the division, winning the division, getting into the playoffs, we gained experience. And that kind of experience is invaluable because these guys now know what it's like.
So they can develop that grit, that attitude you need. And that's what I'm starting to feel, starting to see.
One thing I will say is that each one of those teams that I, that one I played for and one I coach, and now this one, we had, we had a, I think it started with the defensive line, setting the tone for the defense more so than anything else. I mean, we had Brian Urlacher, a Hall of Famer.
You know, we had Mike Singletary, a Hall of Famer. But when you look at those guys that were up front, there was something about those guys that set the tone and the tempo for who we were going to be as a football team.
And that's what's exciting. So when I look at our guys, one of the parallels I see right away is I see that defensive line with potentially what can be guys that can have great careers.
So I'm excited about it. And I feel like PFT can speak to it because obviously he roots for the Washington football team.
But it's this weird feeling you have, especially in today's football with the offense the way it is, where you actually look forward to defense. You look forward to your team playing defense because it's almost like we know we can suffocate whatever they throw at us.
You know, I think that's an parallel to to what a lot of people have looked at because they always say you know defense wins championships well with the ability of so many offenses now to score the way they do you have to be able to slow somebody down and even more so this will be true that that a defense that can make plays at the right time will win the super bowl yeah so on So on the defensive side, we like to pretend that we're smarter than everybody else. And we don't do the, oh, this guy's the best player on the team.
We do the, you know what, this guy's actually the most important player on this unit. So I'm not talking about, like, who's going to make the Pro Bowl, who's going to be all pro on the defense.
So that's my way of saying I don't want Chase Young as his answer. But who is the most important player on that defense? Wow, that's a good question because when you look at it, I mean, I could give you several different guys for several different reasons.
So more so than anything else, I'm going to say there's not one. There really isn't.
And I say that because certain guys serve certain roles. Jonathan Allen might be one of the best natural leaders I've been around.
It really is. But then you look at John Bostic, who's probably one of the most unselfish guys I've been around.
I mean, here's a guy that everybody's been, you know, since I've been here, has been competing for his spot. And all he does is work with these young guys and help these young guys and point these young guys in the right direction.
And so, you know, you feel like a guy like that is the type of guy you want out there. And then you look at the secondary and you look at the different mix of guys we have back there.
And there's a kid named Jeremy Reeves. And to me, he epitomizes what grit is.
You know, The kid comes in last year, has a tremendous training camp, tremendous. And we're going to release him, but we're going to bring him back.
And I say to Jeremy, I said, look, this was very tough. This is our situation.
We're going to bring you back. If we bring you back, just want you to know you'll have every opportunity to make it

and be on the 53.

We had some injuries, and instead of bringing in one of my former players,

I said to Jeremy, I said, I'm going to give you your shot because you earned it,

and I promised you I would.

And by doing that, by me saying that and sticking to my word

and then Jeremy telling the other guys, hey, coach told me he stuck to his word. That has helped me.
That has resonated with the other guys that if I say something to you, I'm going to follow it through. And that's what I did.
And so maybe not just on the defense, but on the team as a whole, just this young man, because of what he showed me and what he held me to, I think has helped me.

And that's why I think he's very important to us.

Conversely, if we're talking about star players and how you coach them up,

who is it, Brandon Staley on the Rams that we talked to?

Talked to him about the responsibility that comes with coaching a generational talent on your defense.

How do you coach a guy like Luke Keekly or Thomas Davis even, or even or in this case like chase young looks like he's going to be that guy what's your coaching philosophy in terms of do i put this guy in as many positions to make plays do i have him attack a certain way do i scheme him in a way that i won't scheme others or like how does that factor into decision making you know what's interesting is um um I got a little bit of advice from Jimmy Johnson, Hall of Fame coach now, and he told me, he said, Ron, you're not going to be able to treat everybody the same, but just treat everybody fair. And so what you try to do from the beginning with a kid like that, with a young man like that, is you want to treat him like you treat everybody else.
Okay? Treat him fair. And then you hold him accountable just like you hold yourself accountable.
And that's kind of the thing that I've tried to do. Being around Luke Kuechly, being around Thomas Davis and Brian Urlacher and guys like that, there's something special about those guys, but they more importantly don't think necessarily about themselves first, but about their teammates.
And that's what you see with Chase. Chase, if you watch him in practice and you watch him in the game, once after he's gotten done going through the adjustments, where do you see him? Well, he's standing over there cheering for the offense.
He's cheerleading for those guys. I mean, he's, you know, Montez Sweat gets a sack, and who's the first guy to congratulate him? Chase.
So guys like that, those generational-type players, are really epitomized to saying that great people, great players, raise the standards and the plays of other people. And that's what a guy like that does.
And you don't necessarily always try to put them in a place that they always have success individually. You put them in a position that the team has success.
And that, I think, is one of the more important things because I promise you, when you watch Aaron Donald, they put him in a position that dude's getting double teamed. It doesn't matter where they put him.
People are going, oh, there he is over there. But guess what that does? Now, if they're going to double team him, they've got to double team him some way over here, and that gives opportunities for the team to be successful because now this dude's being doubled and we've seen that he's been triple teamed.
Well, that's what we have to do with a guy like Chase. We've got to put him in a position that, sure, he can have success, but we can benefit from it as well.
So we love being around football guys. You are a football guy who have been around football for so long.
You've been with some of the best coaches. You've been coached by some of the best coaches.
What's the lesson that you have taken from a guy like Mike Dicka and a guy like Buddy Ryan and used in your career as a coach? With Mike Dicka, honestly, it was – and I've got a little story about that.

Coach Dicka never asked anything of us that he couldn't do.

And I remember one time, it was during training camp,

and I said – and he was chewing our asses all over, just crushing us.

So I said to him, Coach – so we had a moment.

I said to him, I said, Coach, what the hell? I mean you're you're always honest you're always pushing and pounding and screaming and yelling i said you know why when what what what good comes of this and he looked at me he said ronnie i would never ask you guys to do something i didn't do and it hit me it dawned on me at that moment that son of a gun this dude's a hall of famer right so he has a high ass standard I mean, it is up here. And he believes it because me, it dawned on me at that moment that, son of a gun, this dude's a Hall of Famer.
Right. So he has a high-ass standard.
I mean, it is up here. And he believes that because he's been up there, we can be up there.
And so it made me just realize that. And so of our players, I try to make sure they understand what the standard is, what's expected of them.
And I think that helps our players. With Buddy Ryan, it was always about us, team, us, group, us, always us.
And we fight for us, everybody else, you know, but us. And he had this way of getting everybody to pull in together.
And he always stood up for us as a team and then as a defensive unit. And I know one thing is he never wanted Coach Dicka to yell at any of the defensive players.
So Buddy would always take the brunt of it for us, but then he'd come back and he'd give you a piece of his mind. But believe me, you feel like, dang, dude's willing to step in for me, man.
So I've always thought that, hey, you know, if something happened, I would always take the blame. I would always say, hey, these shoulders are broad enough, guys.
I'll take it. And I learned that, you know, I mean, I learned tremendous lessons from being around Coach Dick, and I learned some great lessons being around Buddy Ryan.
And it's a good point because you can see as a viewer the difference in a team that is playing for each other and their coach versus a team that's a bunch of guys that are playing kind of for themselves. And it's the difference between championship teams and teams that are just kind of going through the motions, so to speak.
Yes, yes. And I think that's the thing that you want to find out first and foremost is will everybody fit? And obviously not everybody's going to fit.
The sooner you find the guys that don't fit and get rid of them or get them to buy in, the quicker you can have success. And what are your thoughts about getting rid of ping pong tables in the locker room? Because I screwed up.
I threw Tress Way under the bus unintentionally when we spoke earlier and said that our guy Jake, he's the best in the office at Barstool, that we had to schedule a tournament with him against Tress Way and you told me wait I thought we took that ping pong table out of the locker room years ago so what's your feeling on like when is it time to take away ping pong table and when is it time to let the ping pong table come back into the locker room I think when you're when you're getting started when you're trying to develop something and create a certain type of situation, the things have to be focused on what's important. Not what's interesting.
It's interesting that he's the best ping pong player in the locker room, but right now the most important thing is we're the best team we can be. That's kind of why when I came in.
I know I got a lot of critics. People didn't like that idea, but that's okay.
Because at the end of the day, that's how I'm going to do it. And one of the things I learned from watching some of these great NFL coaches, and I'm talking about the current ones.
When you watch Bill Belichick and you watch Andy Reid, who I had the pleasure of working for, and you watch Sean Payton and Pete Carroll. And what these guys have all done is they've done it their way.
They've done what they believe is the right thing to do. Because at the end of the day, if I walk out of this building, just like I walked out of Carolina when I got fired, I did it my way.
And I could say I did the best I could, and I felt good about that. And that's what I'm going to do here.
No matter what happens, at the end of the day, when I'm done, said and done, and I do walk out and I do drop the mic, I'm going to at least be able to say, hey, I did it my way, guys. That I really truly believe is important.
You're making a lot of sense because now that I think back through it, the vast majority of all the interpersonal conflicts that we've gotten into as a podcast over the last six months have centered around that ping pong table. That's why I don't play.
Really? Yeah. So it might be time for us to wheel that thing out.
Yeah. Get it out of here.
It's not a bad idea. I also read that you had like an ongoing relationship with John Madden.
Yes. Where you introduced yourself to him when you were a teenager, and you kind of kept that up over the years.
Yes. Was that something where like every summer you'd be like, okay, it's Madden week.
Got to go hang out with John and hear him say cool things about football to me. Yes.
What it was, was it was after my second season. My previous owner, Jerry Richardson, had said to me, you know, you need a mentor.
And I got the perfect guy. I think you should reach out to John Madden.
So I reached out to coach. I called him.
We got to talking. And I said, well, I'd love to come visit.
And he said, absolutely. So I was going to fly out to Pleasanton, California, where he has his offices.
And he says to me, he says, Ron, I want you to do me a favor, though. I know you've got this dubious distinction.
You're 3-13, games are decided by six points or less. Go back and look at those losses and study and see what you could have done different.
Okay, great. So I do those things.
Fly out to see coach, you know, I got this nice little report and we're sitting there and we're just kind of BSing initially. I mean, you walk into his office, it's like walking into the Hall of Fame.
I mean, the Raiders Hall of Fame. I mean, there's all this Raiders memorabilia.
I mean, there's some really cool stuff. He has a seven man's crowder sled in his parking lot.
He does. I kid you not just sitting there in the parking lot.
And I thought it was the craziest thing, but it's cool, but it's, that's him. Yeah.
So I go in, we start talking and just as we're getting ready to get down to business, I said, Oh, here I pull out. I said, here's my, here's the homework you gave me.
He said, what's that? I said, well, that's that thing. You had me go study those games.
He goes, that's not for me. That's for you.
I said, really? He goes, yeah. He goes, what did you learn? I said, I learned I did things by the book.
You know, I felt like, you know, I kicked the field goal here when I should have. I punted when I should have.
We blitzed here. We did this.
You know, and he goes, how'd it work out? I said, well, yeah. He said, Ron, you know enough football.
You've played enough. You've coached enough to go by your gut instinct, by your experience of what you've done.
That's what you need to go on. All that other stuff, and it made me realize I was doing the safe thing.
That's the safe thing to do. Because how many times, oh, well, you know, he did what he was supposed to.
I did the right thing. Well, if it had been the right thing, we could have won.
Yeah. So that's one of the things I learned from doing that with Coach Madden.
And you're right. Every offseason, up to a point, it was, I would call coach, we'd talk.
Um, and I'd say,

Hey, I'm coming out. Love to come and see you.
He said, Hey, come on. And I would go see him.

I'd spend time. I've got this, this, these immaculate notes that, that, that I kept from

him. And I, and I, and I still have them.
I still read them. Um, one of my favorite, one of the

first things he said to me, he says, don't ever forget you're the head coach. You are the head

coach. He said, when you forget that, that's when you're in trouble.
And, um, I've always tried to

Thank you. The first things he said to me, he says, don't ever forget you're the head coach.
You are the head coach. He said, when you forget that, that's when you're in trouble.
And I've always tried to remember that. It sounds like that was the birth of Riverboat Ron.
And my question was going to be, what's your biggest regret in your career and why is it when you tried to be analytical Ron, the worst nickname ever, when you have the best nickname ever in Riverboat Ron? Because you do remember that you try to get everyone to call you that and that was terrible i think i had a tweet i looked back and it was like ron rivera's trying to give himself the worst nickname of all time analytical ron riverboat ron is incredible i want to i want to play for riverboat ron yeah it does roll off your tongue um and uh and god bless her my wife she went ahead and she copywrote whole thing she got a logo she got a logo for it it's over on that club car cart that i got right there i love it put the logo on it see it right there oh yeah so do you do you say to yourself every now and then like all right it's you know a situation late in the fourth yeah you could go for it you could punt you could play the safe way and you hey, you're Riverboat Ron. Like, let's do this.
I don't put it that way. I do think about it.
Some of the strangest moments. And it's funny because one of the checklist things I go through is when would I do that? I have this little checklist that myself and my chief of staff that we review.
And as I go through it, one of the questions is, i going for it on fourth down where am i going to go for it are we going for two what are we going to do how those types so so it's thought out before we get into it but um to uh to go back to your uh your original question because i had a good answer for that i'm trying to remember what the question was the analytical run why did you do that that was a That was a big misstep. No, really what it was all about was becoming Riverboat Ron.
And as you said, the biggest regret I have is not necessarily that, but the biggest regret I have is initially when I put my first coaching staff together as a head coach, I did not have a guy that had any head coaching experience on my staff. Okay? And so I really didn't have anybody to fall back on.
And I would feel odd every now and then, like when I did talk to Coach Reed or I did talk to Coach Turner, you know, that I was getting in their way. And I didn't quite have that understanding or somebody to lean back on or as a sounding board.
So going to see Coach Madden really kind of opened my eyes onto, you know, hey, that's what you really need. You need a mentor.
You need somebody that has been through it. And which led me to one of my, you know, I have a bunch of sayings.
This is one of my favorite sayings is don't draw me a map unless you've been there. Now all of a sudden I've got people that have been there telling me, hey, do this, think about this.
That's why listening and talking to different people like a John Madden, like a Jerry West, like a Jimmy Johnson, I mean, those things, that carries weight because these men have done it. These men have experienced this.
And so when you get to that position and you're looking at having to make decisions, you know, I don't want people to necessarily think that I'm just throwing it to the wind. I have truly thought these things out.
I mean, Riverboat Ron gambling on a play has been thought about before the game. You know, we do this every Friday as myself and we have an analytics guy that sits down with me and a couple of coaches, and we go through situations that happened the week before to other teams.

Fourth down situations.

Punt or go for it.

Field goal or go for it.

Two-point conversion here and out.

And we talk about those things and we discuss it.

So, you know, I just didn't want people thinking that I'm just that guy that's, you know, rolling the dice every time I get up there and I've got to make a decision. These things are definitely planned out, thought out.
And we do see the analytic numbers as well. Everybody has them.
And those are just tools to help you make your decision as far as I'm concerned. Well, we consider ourselves to be kind of analytic specialists in that we specialize in exactly one game scenario.
So we're going to give you a pop quiz here. There's two minutes left.
You're down by 14 points. You score a touchdown.
Do you go for two? Depends. It's truly going to depend on who you play.
If you're playing against, let's say you're playing against the worst defense in the league, you're going to go for two. Why? Because you're going to believe the next time you're going to score.
Now you give yourself a chance to win, but you do believe you're going to score again. If you're playing against one of the best offenses in the league, you may feel you may never get the ball back.
But sometimes it's the rhythm of the game. We played a game in 2013.
We're playing the New Orleans Saints, and we're playing them in Carolina. It was a hell of a game.
I mean, it was an absolute great game. And I'm trying to remember the score exactly, but I think it was 13-10.
They had the lead.

And there was about three minutes left to go in the game.

We had two timeouts left.

We had the ball.

We're driving.

We get stopped.

Absolutely stopped.

And I decide to punt.

And I got crushed.

We punted the ball, and the commentators even said he should have gone for it.

But that day, think about it. We were fortunate enough to stop Sean Payton and Drew Brees to only 13 points.
And I really felt we would get another chance. But I was getting killed for it.
I appreciate that. We stopped them.
They punted. We got the ball back.
And I figured two timeouts, two-minute warning coming, we have a chance to get into field goal range, tie the game, and see what happens. Not only did we get into field goal range, but Cam threw the touchdown that gave us the win, and we inevitably ended up winning the division that year for the first time in eight or nine years.
But the point being is that there's no two situations that I can sit here and tell you right now I'm going to do that. Yeah.
I can't. There's nothing that tells me I know exactly what I'm going to do against our opener, against our Thursday night game, against our next Sunday game.
I can't tell you what we're going to do in those first three games until we get into that situation and see how we're playing, how our opponent's playing. It's nuanced, and it's probably a smart answer.
We just always say go for two. Yeah, go for two.
We just learned that one thing yeah and so we regurgitate it without applying critical thinking to it no no which is great i mean again the best part about it is that you might not ever have to make that decision yeah i wouldn't say that you never know you might call us in i play a lot of madden i was expecting you to say our name when you're like mad you know talk to coach madden jerry west like a big cat All right, so I have one last question. It's the Mattress Firm question.
Unjunk your sleep. Go see a specialist.
Mattressfirm.com. Get started today.
I got to know, what did you say to the defense? 2006 Monday Night Football Bears-Cardinals. The great comeback game when, you know, everything, they're down 20-0.
Fumble return for

Peanut, fumble return for I think Mike

Brown. The Bears

are who we thought they are, the famous game.

What did you say at halftime down

20-0? I told the guys

that we had basically outsmarted

ourselves and we were going to play man

coverage for most of the second half.

We were going to line up man-to-man

and find out who the better team was at

this point. We weren't going to try

and trick and dick anybody. We were going to line up

Thank you. coverage for the most of the second half.
We were going to line up man-to-man and find out who the better team was at this point. We weren't going to try and trick and dick anybody.
We were going to line up and go at it. I don't know if it was because of me, but I will say this.
I know this much. When you watch the way Brian Urlacher played and took over that football game, the way the defensive line rose up, the plays that happened, those guys, it was great.
was great. It really was.
And it's a tribute to that football team that we were able to come back and win that football game. It really is.
And I really do think that, you know, there are certain guys that no matter what the situation will rise up, Brian Erlacher most certainly was one of them. I mean, you answered it, though.
If you just say in front of your team, no more tricking and dicking, let's go. Let's just line up and play.
And, I mean, that really was. I mean, I go back to it and look at some of the things that I've done and said.
Pittsburgh game last year on Monday night, okay, just before the half, I figured, you know what, we got a chance fourth down. Hey, let's go for it.
We were in our own territory, and we got stuffed. Our defense bowed its neck.
We stopped them on the goal line, got the ball back on downs. Went down and kicked a field goal.
I went in the locker room, and the first thing I said to the guys, hey, I screwed up. That's my fault.
I made a mistake. I should have never, you know, I put too much on you guys.
And one of the defensive guys said, nah, coach, we got your back. Man, when he said that, and it's something that resonates with me, I mean, the appreciation I have for knowing that that's how the guys felt about that, that was awesome.
I mean, that really did. And obviously, we were fortunate enough to win.
And my last thing, we already talked to Mr. Wright inside.
So he's been very upfront with the whole name change process. And he told us what the team name was going to be next year.
What do you think about that? I like the idea. I think it could be cool.
It's going to resonate very well with all of our fans. I think the logo will be a real neat logo.
It'll go well for our marketing department. I think the fans are going to love it, fall in love with it.
And I'm real excited. What was that name again? I was waiting for you to tell me.
Believe me.

That's great coach speak, though.

You're really answering a question.

That was Analytical Ron came out.

The transition lenses.

So when they get darker, that's Riverboat Ron.

When they get lighter, it's Analytical Ron. Yes, it is.

That's exactly.

Well, that's the crazy part.

If you look at the logo my wife had made, she made sure the glasses were tinted. I love it.
I love it. Well, Coach, thank you so much.
Really appreciate it. Best of luck this year.
We know PFT will be living and dying with every game. Well, I appreciate PFT, you know, become one of our fan ambassadors.
Yes. He's your boss.
No, he is. I wouldn't go that far.
No, no. My understanding was that I could hire and fire you at my will.
Really? Put tables back in If we win four games in a row Ping pong tables back in Second order of business You need to install some designed laterals downfield To receive that catches the ball So you said you talk to people that have been there before That have accomplished things You might have heard about my career I played for the ninth best rugby team in the United States back in 2011.

Design downfield laterals.

Just dump it off.

If you can draw them up, if you drop the plays, get a receiver open,

have a guy trailing them.

If you're confident that your guy can catch it, that's going to be open.

That's going to be a chunk play every time.

That's going to be the next revolution in football.

I want to tell you so you don't get five years down the line. You're like, damn, I really wish this downfield lateral business hadn't caught me off guard.
I'm letting you know right now it's the future of football. Big Cat, you notice how I looked like I was interested? Yeah, that was good.
That was good. You're good with the media.
You know, I will tell you this. There is a high school football program.
No, seriously, no. There is a high school football program that they've instituted that.
It's all about once the play happens, it's going, now the next guy gets into position in the lateral, just like that. You've got to be safe with it, and you've got to drop a play, so maybe it's just one pitch per play.
Don't try to break the framework of football with it, but you see it happen occasionally where they do a hook and ladder. Yeah, Boise State.
There's other ways of drawing that up that's not just a strictly hook and ladder that I actually think will change the game soon.

Just letting you know.

Take your lead.

You're ahead of it.

Analytical Ron.

Yes, he is.

All right.

Well, thank you so much, Coach.

Really appreciate it.

I appreciate you guys.

Thank you very much.

Coach Ron Rivera was brought to you by SummerSlam from WWE.

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Eastern on Peacock.

It's on the cock.

Now, here he is, Pro Football Hall of Fame president, David Baker.

And now for something completely different.

Okay.

We are here in Canton, Ohio.

We're at the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

We're here with our host, the Prez, President David Baker. Can we say friend? Friend? Friend.
Yeah, friend. Thank you.
Pals. Thank you for having us.
This was incredible. We did a whole tour.
Just incredible. It was a football guys or girls dream to walk through the halls of Canton.
So we appreciate it, and we want to say thank you very much for a wonderful day we have something important though we have to discuss so uh for listeners of this show people who know but maybe they need a quick recap our goldfish larry larry 2 uh the 2016 nfl season he went 60 picking against the spread one of the greatest goldfish of all time, if not the greatest. True football guy through and through.
He passed, tragically, and we then, in the summer of 2017, buried his body under a tree in the shadows of Canton, in the shadows of the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio. In the stadium park.
It was right behind,, right behind, right by a nice beautiful stream. We had a bunch of people show up.
It was a somber evening, but it was a celebration of his life. Yes.
Heartfelt. Yes.
In an even more heartfelt moment, probably one day afterwards, we've got a cryptic message from a terrorist organization. It was probably just a couple of drunk guys.
They had robbed his grave.

They had literally stolen the dead body of our goldfish.

We never talked about it because we actually thought it was such a horrific thing.

We didn't want to give them any type of light or give them any credit or anything like that.

Flash forward, we're here four years later.

We go down trying to find Larry's tree, the tree that we buried his body underneath. The tree is gone.
It has been cut down. Stolen.
I don't know why. Stolen? I don't know.
Deforestation's a real problem in the world. I didn't think it had spread to Canton, Ohio, but apparently it has.
And to say that we were heartbroken would probably be an understatement. PFT and I were standing by the river having an apology off, demanding apologies from each other because we couldn't figure out where the tree was.
We're like an old couple. I was like, no, there's no tree here.
And then I was like, no. And then we got mad at each other.
And it was all because some vandal, it's not enough to steal the body of our dead goldfish. They had to go ahead and steal his grave marker, too.
Now how the ancient egyptians felt yeah i know why they built pyramids to keep grave robbers out it's it's i think it's a sign though that larry and his spirit his soul don't deserve to be outside he was an indoor fish after all yeah so what do we have to do to get Larry into the Hall of Fame?

A remnant?

A token?

A trinket?

A sticker?

In the archives? Somewhere.

Somewhere.

Well, we can certainly put him in the archives, okay, because we collect all history.

That was easy.

Jeez.

All right.

Okay, thanks.

And you've met John Kendall.

Yeah, it was incredible.

You write us a letter.

We can put it in there with the letters we have from Walter Camp and from Teddy Roosevelt about the game and everything like that. But I need a heartfelt letter from you guys.
Okay. But in your history, if I could kind of put in one other thing here.
Yeah. We met for the first time, what, about two and a half years ago? Yep.
I think it was Super Bowl 54 in Miami. And you came to my room, and I couldn't get you out.
I mean, you guys, you know, kind of like squatters. You guys stayed there the whole deal, raided the minibar, all of that stuff.
But you told me the story of Larry. And we started thinking about Larry and stuff like that.
And we started, how can we heal that hurt in you that is deep, core, seated, that, you know, about a loss that, you know, you get somebody to tell you 60% against a spread, I mean, you're losing a little cash in that. Yes, right.
So what our staff have done, you've met John Kendall, our archivist, and we've got a lot of guys like this that are, I mean, they're in history they're in preserving history and the documentation of it we've got six million pictures 40 million documents a whole lot of artifacts here what you see in the museum is only two percent of what's here so what we did was we uh especially recruited uh this goldfish right here okay uh this is not Larry. Yeah.
But this is Goldie. Goldie.
Goldie is a gold jacket goldfish.

Ooh. Okay.
This is not Larry. Yeah.
But this is Goldie. Goldie.
Okay. Goldie is a gold jacket goldfish.
Ooh. Okay? And Goldie has been around our gold jackets.
Goldie has been in the archives for about the last year. Really? Kind of just by osmosis, picking stuff up from the archives.
All our Hall of Famers. John Kendall and all the guys there.
How do I know you didn't buy this goldfish today? Well, I don't think he would lie to us like that. Would you lie to us about this goldfish? You know, our values here at the Pro Football Hall of Fame are commitment, integrity.
But Goldie is a very special goldfish. It's not our Hall of Fame brand on it.
Yeah, no, I can see it right here. It's a Hall of Fame goldfish.
It's clearly from the Hall of Fame. But I think when you take this back with you, okay? Wait, we have to take this with us? We don't have a great track record at keeping goldfish alive.
It's a gift, and we've nurtured this thing so that you could get, I think you could maybe get 65%, 70% against the spread on this one. I just want you to know, because what you're doing right now is you're passing off a murder of a goldfish to us, so I want you to know your hands are dirty in this.
This goldfish isn't going to make it. We're going Cleveland and then Buffalo.
It's not making it to Buffalo. If you want, we can keep it in our archive.
Okay, yeah, you can. We will take care of it because we don't want anything to happen to it.
Because, again, this is a special goldfish. This is a gold jacket goldfish.
That's art of the deal right there. You guys may not know, but I'm a lawyer too.
So I took criminal law. The last thing I'd want to do is be implicated in anything the two of you do yeah no what is it it's also like possession is 90 of the law you currently have possession of the goldfish right now but we'll keep it but but just like everything in our archives okay there's stuff like that that's donated to us and we're stewards of that yes so we're going to be a steward of your goldfish you will own this yeah.
But we will be stewards of this. Okay.
And we'll write a letter? Well, we can write a letter. I also think maybe what we can do is can we send you a trinket or some sort of fish toy representing Larry? Maybe a tiny plaque commemorating Larry to put inside this goldfish tank to be with this goldfish.
That way there have the next generation. And as long as that's in the building.
I want a million dollars as well. You want a million dollars? I want a million dollars as well.
Let me make sure I'm hearing this right. You want to donate a million dollars to the Pro Football Hall of Fame as a not-for-profit corporate.
This is such a great moment of view. Give me the Lombardi trophy.
I don't know. You were saying yes to everything, so I thought we'd just push the limit here.
Well, I think it's wonderful of you to make that kind of donation to the hall. And I want you to know that we can give you a charitable deduction for it.
Oh, okay. Great.
That's incredible. They're paying you to donate.
With all the money you guys are making, it's easy to do this for the game. 82 now.
82,000 in an episode. All right, so this is actually great.
So we're going to – we had such a great time, and we're going to talk about it and we'll tell everyone go to the Pro Football Hall of Fame, go to Canton. I think what we'll do, though, is we're going to have an official letter with maybe even a list of the games that Larry picked in his win-loss record with possibly a trinket.
We're going to – this is giving – Billy is going to have to do all this stuff. And we're going to send it to John.
And really, if we're just being honest here, a little sidebar between just the three of us guys, if John throws in the trash, that's fine. Just tell us he didn't.
And we're cool with that. Just tell us that it's in the Hall of Fame somewhere.
He can throw it away, but just you tell us that it's here. Yeah, well, we will take good care of it.
Okay. Preserve it.
I will tell you, while we have a lot of fun, we are real serious about the history of the games. I mean, hopefully John was able to show that.

Oh, it's incredible.

You know, right now there's about 355 bronze busts here.

And the line to go through there during enshrinement is like a couple hours long.

Yeah.

And people stand in line to go through.

But what I will say is everybody who ever played the game,

I've got a son who played the game. He was a first round draft choice, 23 overall by the Atlanta Falcons in 2008.
They'd also picked Matt Ryan to protect. Sam was a left tackle to protect his blind side.
He's got an archive here. Everybody who played a week has an archive here.
We want to keep their history, not just what they did, but if they want to come in here and be on camera with us, we can put in what they learned from the game, and not just what they did, but who they are. And if you were to go downtown, there is Centennial Plaza, which is, I think I mentioned this last time we were talking.
The good people of Canton raised $12 million. I mean, who else does this for the NFL? Right.
But they raised $12 million for a park that commemorates the first 100 years of the NFL. And our archivists spent about a year and a half, and we've got listed down there all 25,474 names of the men who played in the National Football League during its first century.
Wow. And I'll tell you, again, I know you guys get emotional about Larry, but, you know, I do this every day.
Yeah. Keep history.
I get to meet the greatest football players to ever play. But when I went down there and saw my son's name, I'll tell you, I remembered the eighth grade when he said he wanted to play football.
And then he started making goals of what he wanted to lift and what he wanted to do. And, you know, these guys have a history and their history involved a lot of other people and a lot of other sacrifice and something special.
And they are the shoulders that this game stands upon so you know we'll we'll be glad to take care of larry we i mean we've got all the mascots and everything else for all the teams it was more than a mascot but but we are real serious about uh the archives and the history of the game and the legacies that these guys have left i was even if you don't have a bronze bus. I was talking to John a second ago about the fact that I don't think it's a coincidence that the Pro Football Hall of Fame is in Canton, Ohio, and every football coach either comes from Pittsburgh or this area of Ohio because this is their amusement park that they go to.
Some people grow up and they go to Busch Gardens or they go to Disneyland because that's close by. I think people in Ohio take their families to the Pro Football Hall of Fame, and that gets in their heads from a young age.
Like kids that might not be athletic enough to play football at the highest level, they grow up, this is what's fun to them, is finding out about the history of the game. I actually think that this place gives birth directly to a huge number of professional football coaches.
Well, we think there's a lot of values here and everything, but let me kind of take that one step farther, PFT. You know, we'll have the Ohio State Buckeyes here on Thursday.
You know, Coach Day will bring them. They'll practice on Tom Benzel Hall of Fame Stadium.
They'll have lunch here. I'll get to talk to them for, you know, 20, 30 minutes, and then they'll tour the museum as well.

He believes that's important for them.

The New York Giants will be in here on Saturday.

Every year, Coach Belichick, who is a great student of history, brings the Patriots here.

And I think that what you're talking about, it's not only great to know the game and the

shoulders you stand upon, but these days, there's so much parity in the NFL that, frankly, this year the difference between what will be 9-8 and 8-9 might get you in the playoffs. And that comes down to two or three games.
And those two or three games kind of come down to some character moments for that offensive line or for a great receiver or quarterback. And I think I know those guys.
I know Coach Belichick and those guys feel that understanding the character of the game here and what guys have done might help them that little bit more that they need. Yeah.
All right. Well, this has been an incredible day.
So thank you. Thank you.
Thank you for admitting Larry into the Hall of Fame. Yeah, we will sell John something.
We will send him something, and we appreciate your friendship. He's not going in the bronze bust room.
Yeah, no, that's fine. He's not getting a gold jacket.
He already had one, actually. We put one on him when he buried him.
He's not getting a ring of excellence, but he will be included in the archives of the Hall of Fame. We're just playing a semantics game where we're saying he's in the Hall of Fame because technically in the walls somewhere.
So that's our department. You'd actually be surprised how many people do that.
Yes, yes. Well, we're in.
But you know what, guys? It's great to have you with us. Yes.
And every every time I've been with you I've had a lot of fun. Yeah.
But I also appreciate the seriousness stuff and how much you guys respect the game. You'll have fun but you respect the game and those guys who play it.
So thank you. Alright.
Thanks so much. This is a magical place.
If you haven't come to Canton, Ohio you should come check out Check out the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Thanks, guys.
Thank you. Okay, let's get to Mount Rushmore and guys on checks is what we call it.
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Okay.

Mount Rushmore,

Jake,

Billy,

you guys won.

So you get to decide,

you get to decide the order.

You get to decide anything you want.

Why don't you introduce it?

We'll go.

What is it?

Oh yeah.

It's the worst places to fart. That was Jake's idea, by the way.
Yeah. I was going to risk it.
No, it was on the list submitted. Okay.
You chose it. Yeah.
You did choose it. Yeah.
Very class of you. The worst place, not the best place.
The worst places to fart. I'm trying to give credit to.
Okay, so what's the order? What's the order? We're actually going to go Big Cat first and then clockwise. Whoa.
Okay. Yeah.
Okay. I'm going first.
The back-to-backs. Worst places to fart.
I will start with a crowded elevator. i'm assuming all these farts are loud too so people can see they notice they're like hey you're the guy when i was making the list i was thinking loud and also that they smell yeah so it's like you can't you can't get away with it people just look at you crowded elevator it's also the combo of that and the fact that it's usually strangers in an elevator you say well strangers doesn, strangers doesn't matter as much.
No, it's weirdly our brains work. We're a stranger.
It's almost matters more because if you're in a place with a crowd elevator with people, you know, you're like, whatever. I farted.
People laugh. Yeah, right.
So crowded elevator. That's my first pick.
My first pick will be. That was a good pick.
That was my first pick as well. Thank you.
Airplane. Same thing with strangers you're you know you're gonna be sitting next to them for x amount of hours if you let one rip and they hear it they might look over and not say anything which is even worse because you're just sitting there in shame no can't escape it can't escape it they're probably going to get off the plane and be like i sat next to this dude who ripped the loudest fart what an asshole you know what's also really bad about that there's can do.
When you're on a plane, that's usually the place that you want to fart the most.

Or you need to fart the most. Yes.

I will say that helps in the mascara.

Yeah.

True.

True.

But yeah.

The sound though.

And also on a plane, I think everyone here has probably farted on a plane.

You're like, hey, can I get this off without?

And then it's just like, oh no.

Or if you have headphones on and you don't know.

Yeah. Yes.
That was a mistake. If You don't know that you farted? Yeah.
Does that happen? Well, you don't know if it was loud. You know he farted.
Have you ever farted and been like, I didn't realize that? We'll get to it. Okay.
Maybe. All right.
My first one is a pretty simple one. In a car while you're on a date.
Especially if it's a new relationship, still getting to know each other.

There's like a month or two feeling out period sometimes before you really just let the cheeks go.

And when you're in the car, there's no escape in it.

Although, on the other hand, kind of like on a plane, after they get out of the car, that is top three fart.

Yes.

Yes.

Okay. My first pick will be during an interview first impressions or everything yes that fart could be the end of your job yes it could and your career oh like a job yes yes stepbrothers yes yes okay then for a second pick we're gonna go with in class ah good So you guys are both picking in this Mount Rushmore.
Yes. Okay.
I was still part of my team. It was load management.
Yeah, yeah, that's right. That's right.
That's right. Okay, good picks, guys.
Good picks, guys. Someone's salty.
All right, bye. My next one.
Man up and pick. I'm going to say.
I did. My teammate wouldn't let me.
Oh, wow. Okay.
I'm going to go with in a library because it's a double whammy. One, it's silent.
Everyone looks at you. And two, it's like insult to injury factor of you being in a library.
Big time. Which sucks.
If you're not farting. Silence.
And then maybe a wooden chair. Terrible.
Making a bad situation. Terrible.
I'm surprised this got back to me, but I'm going to go with a subway. This did happen when I was living in Brooklyn.
I had headphones. I was going to work.
And when you're going through gaseous periods, like you have farts, you know if they're loud or they're silent. It's not like a one or the other.
It's usually like you have a spell of gas and it's either ripping ass or it's just silent, maybe, but deadly. I had been going through some silent but deadly ones.
So I got in the train. I had my headphones on.
The fart comes. I'm just like, yeah, these have been silent all day.
Just let it go. And like three people turned.
It was like kind of crowded. It wasn't like chest to chest, but like people from both sides turned after I did it.
And I knew that was not silent yeah people people heard brutal you know what the worst is when you're in a situation like that and you know that you're gonna get tweeted later even if they don't know if they're not like hey this is hank from barstool but you can just tell if they're a certain age that they're gonna wait till they get off the subway and their next week is gonna be like this guy just was on the L train and this guy just farted next to me. It's going to be a fucking yik yak.
Yeah, it's going to be all over the yik yak. I'm surprised this got back to me during sex.
Terrible time to fart. Horrible time to fart.
If you're having sex and you fart, it's really a... It's also bare ass.
There's nothing really stopping it. It just happens and then what do you do? If it like, because it's also, you know, bare ass.
There's nothing really stopping it.

It just happens, and then what do you do?

If it just smells, then it's really bad.

You can play that off.

It's terrible.

It's bad.

It's bad.

It's a bad scene.

I mean, if you're getting pegged, it's tough to squeeze it out.

It's a bad scene.

All right.

You got to plug yourself up.

And then I'll go with a work meeting, so multiple people.

When you're in a conference room

and you're sitting there

and you fart,

you guys did interview,

which I think is different.

No.

Because you're not hired yet.

I'm talking about a work meeting.

I'm just screwed up by the order.

Oh.

You just went,

you gave one.

Yeah.

Right.

And then he doubles

and goes back around.

I'm lost in a snake.

You're okay?

You're lost in a snake? Yeah, work meeting. I'm lost in a snake.
Work meeting is a terrible time to fart. Agreed.
Hmm. Yeah, I don't know.
You got to do the thing where you stomp your shoes when you fart. So everyone kind of mask it.
You guys ever cough? Yeah, I cough when I fart sometimes. Yeah.
I'm running out of pics here. I'll go with doctor's office.
Good one. Because then they're going to be like, you know, what's going on there? Yeah.
And you're like, I don't know. I had pizza for lunch.
Son, are you okay? Yeah. Do we need to get in there and inspect it? Are you dying? Like, yeah, that smells like something's wrong with your bowels.
Yeah. And then Wait, wait.
Nope. You just went.
Yep. Billy screwed up the whole fucking snake.
Billy. Billy, you killed the snake.
All right, I'm going to go with a funeral. Fart at a funeral.
Probably not a good... I've never done it, but I can't imagine that it would be fun.
Yeah. Probably get a lot of looks.
The only like okay part,

I mean, it's not okay to fart at a funeral,

but if you're like at a funeral home,

those kind of smell weird

so you can kind of like mask it a little bit.

Yeah, it's not a good thing to fart at a funeral.

Also, if it's like a really funny sounding fart,

I could actually see that breaking the tension

in the room a little bit.

Especially if the person that just died loved farts.

Yeah.

You know what?

That's him looking down from heaven above. Life finds a way.
You guys have two picks now. Crowded sauna or steam room.
Because one, no one's talking. Two, you all are in close proximity and the heat magnifies it.
I think steam room is worse because of the wetness.

Gross. I can hear it.

Yeah.

I taste it a little bit.

Yeah. It gets aerosoled.

You're right.

Bad news all around.

Our last pick will be in a pool because there's visual evidence.

The bubbles in the hot tub, though.

I see a little dissension in this team. And what are we going to say? That's literally the easiest place to hide a fart.
No, because it bubbles up, though. Yeah.
Who's looking? Just splash. Or fake it and try to get our team points.
Sounds like Jake got yik-yacked about a fart in a pool. No.
Oh, okay. All right.
This is the – You guys have not been able to do a draft together in a while because last time you kicked Jake out, it's tough times. Guess what? It resulted in a win.
Yeah. Okay.
PFT, your last pick. So all of mine got picked.
All of them did. Does getting head count? You said sex.
I think that counts. I think head's worse.
I think that counts, though. I think it's like any type of oral sex is sex.
But the face and nose is so much closer. I mean, okay.
I think that's the same thing, but that's fine. I'll put it up to the room for a vote.
I don't want to. I mean, you did kind of pick two with your first pick.
I'll give you a head. In a car while on a date.
Yeah, you did. You could just.
That was bad, Hank. Yeah, you could just split your picks up.
That was good. You could just split your picks up.
We had a date on our big board, too, but it was taken. Yeah, you did in a car on a date.
I think it's too late to split it up, so I won't say getting head. Give me your head.
What about giving head? All right. Well, then I'm just going to say after you're already dead, because then you don't get the pleasure of farting.
Okay. Just annoying people around you.
Okay. I don't know.
I had to ad lib on that one. You do a dentist's office.
From the grave? From the grave, yeah. Well, farting in the next two minutes after you die when your body is still processing You could be a G and say a helicopter.
As a worse place? On my private plane. You wouldn't hear it on a helicopter.
But all right. This, I think, is a little bit different because Big Cat said sex, but you could could be having sex with anyone.
Mine is more specific where it's like it's in bed if you're with someone you're not too familiar with. Yes.
Like similar to PFTs, like you said, like a month or two. After a while, farts can be like an icebreaker.
They're funny. I think that's fair.
But if you're still just feeling it out and like you're not having sex, you're just in bed. Maybe she's sleeping over.
Yeah, you're Netflixing, chilling, and you're farting. Yeah, and then you just rip a fart and a fart and it just you know fish bowls the sheets and she's just like she knows it wasn't her that can you know ruin a relationship i think this is one of those mount rushmore's that like it's a cell phone because i do think i dominated this and i still have a pick left uh which means i just fart way too many times in bad places but the easiest i i'm surprised this lasted directly after a sneeze because everyone looks at you like dude you can't control any part of your body like you're just a fat piece of shit so uh that is the worst because then everyone just laughs at you and like that sucks you you not only sneezed but then you're so like your asshole is so loose that you farted too oh yeah uh like anytime that you're doing another motion yes and people can tell what the mechanism was that pushed that fart out correct so like if you're squatting if you're doing a squat and you and you fart at the bottom people are like that's really embarrassing i had on my list tying your shoe yeah when you when i go to or doing any type of athletic movement and everyone's like playing ping pong in the triple Yeah, your body can't...
Yeah, that's true. Wouldn't know.
Your body can't do two things at once without just farting. It's just a terrible experience to have bending over, jumping up.
Everyone's like, dude, you can't just do anything without farting. It's air hitting the ejection seat in your body.
It's like, I don't know what's going on here, but we're about to crash. Yeah.
Again, I think this is a cell phone of a Mount Rushmore because... I don't know what that...
What does that mean? I dominated the worst places to fart Mount Rushmore because I have so much experience. Why is I making a cell phone? Because I have so much experience of just farting at terrible times.
I still don't get what a cell phone has to do with that. Okay.
Are you talking about... Are you saying a cell phone? Cell phone? Oh, a cell phone.
Are you serious? I'll be honest, I heard cell phone too. Really? It makes sense.
Cell phone makes more sense. That's why I was confused.
You understand my confusion? Yeah, now I do, but I did not understand. I was like, what are you talking about? I basically outed myself as a terrible farter, which I don't think is a surprise.
Sell your device, yes. All right, let's finish up this show.
A cell phone? You know what's not a bad place to fart? Hypothetically? In Roger Goodell's chair. Hypothetically.
Yes, hypothetically, it is not a bad place to fart. All right.
Do you guys like farting in the shower? Yeah. Duh.
Dude, I like farting everywhere. Pack bar.
That was a miss. A pack bar.
You can get away with it. You can get away with it, but you're just a terrible person.
I hate you. You start sweating.
You're drunk. It's just like, let's have some fun, guys.
Ready for this? Yeah. Watch me fart and just watch as everyone just has to move out of the way.

And then just start yelling at your friend.

Be like, tell your other friend.

We're just going to start yelling at him.

Yeah.

What about, real quick, do you want to do four best places to fart?

Just amongst us.

Just a list of only four.

The shower.

Shower, great.

In bed by yourself.

Yeah.

After a long road trip or car ride.

Yeah, and getting off an airplane, I would say.

Yep.

Thank you. The shower.
Shower, great. In bed by yourself.
Yeah. After a long road trip or like car ride.
Yeah. And getting off an airplane, I would say.
Yep. Also, maybe going out of a movie theater.
Yep. That's also pretty nice.
Movie theater is also a terrible place to fart. A bubbling hot tub.
Oh, good one. A little yin yang for Jake there.
All right. Let's finish up the show.
Hank, what do we got?

What's this new segment?

It's Guys on Checks.

So we're talking about grit and work, hard work.

So we figured we'd do something a little different

for Grit Week.

Work advice.

Yes.

Yes.

How do you alpha a boss who plays power games?

I think it depends on the type of power games

that they're playing.

I think you play into them. I think you let the boss think that he's winning.
Yeah. Sun Tzu, Art of the War.
Incept him. Incept him into thinking every idea that's yours is his and then, or hers.
We're a progressive podcast. Girl boss.
And then, so that way they think that they're kind of controlling everything but really you are i think also a really good way is if you get a compliment at work you should tell everybody that oh it's really your boss that like set you up for that even if it's not yes and then that will trust me the dividends will be paid much more that way than just being like, thank you for the compliment.

Yes.

Hey, boys, happy Grit Week.

So I have this thing where I shit and I like to use wet toilet paper.

When I shit at work, I'm in a stall and have no access to a sink,

and as a result, I bring a water bottle in with me.

This usually ends up with water all over the bathroom floor, and the other day, a co-worker questioned this,

and I explained my system.

He looked at me like I was a psychopath.

Yeah, let me just stop you. You're a psychopath.
Am I the only person that does this yes thanks boys yes wait say it again they bring a water bottle like i shouldn't bring water bottle no so that they can wet their own toilet paper yeah when where when i shit i like to use white toilet wipes buy some dude wipes yeah buy some dude what just yes you are a psychopath that's insane Buy some dude wipes. Hey, banging chains boys.
I currently am an arborist and go to people's houses to tell them. I thought that was going to be one of your words you laugh at.
No, you nailed that. And tell people's houses to tell them what's wrong with their trees.
Some of the people at these houses are attractive single women. What's some advice on getting myself into a Johnny Sins kind of situation? Talk about wood.
Talk about wood. Yeah.
You like wood. I figured I noticed that this tree needs some trimming.
This. Wow.
This wood's really hard. Yeah.
You want me to take care of your bushes too while I'm here? Wow. Like that.
Yeah. Wow.
This is a really, really big piece of wood that you got right in your backyard. Yeah.
Do you like it in your backyard or should I? Should I bring it in through your back door? You literally are like, that's the easiest question of all time. You're built for terrible sex puns.
And also being an arborist seems like the biggest crock of shit job. You just show up in someone's house and be like, yo, that tree sucks.
You're going to get some tweets. You're going to get some tweets from being like, dude, you don't know what happens when a tree gets infected.
You just show up and you're like, yo, that tree fucking sucks. It's too soon.
That tree's going to fall on your house. Yeah.
After what happened to our tree, I think it's a little too soon. Which tree? The Larry tree.
Oh. Yeah.
That we talked about at the beginning of the show, which we didn't tape until after Hard Knock, so it gets a little confusing. You guys have to be in a minkled pretzel right now.
Yeah, it's hard. We willingly don't talk about certain things and then have to not reference them, which we just did.
And now here we are, folks. I'm thinking ahead.
Yeah, I know you are. I'm willing to go on the job as an arborist for a day and just show America what a crock of shit is.
Tree cancer is not a joke, dude. Not a joke.
Worst thing that you have to do at your job is probably throw a chain around an oak tree branch. What about fire ants? Bring them on.
Fuck fire ants. You know I hate fire ants.
They'll fuck you up. Identifying kudzu versus native plants.
I can identify kudzu. It's whatever he just said.
No, kudzu is an invasive species of vine. What about bees' nests? Yeah, okay.
That would suck. If you have to go and...
No, but then you call up the beekeeper. That's their department.
I don't think the beekeeper always comes out. My job stops where the branch ends.
I don't know. We'll see.
Some fellas, especially girdle cat. I don't know what that means.
Is it because I wear a beater? People thought I was wearing Spanx. I wear a beater every day.
What's a girdle? I don't know. I think it's the thing that you tie around.
Like, have you ever seen an old Victorian TV show where they like tie up the chick's back and then she's like, is that a corset or something? Yeah, it's a corset. It's good for back sweat.
I have a sweaty back. So my ass cracking back.

I mean, I would wear one of those.

Little Spanx.

Start wearing Spanx.

That video showed perfectly why.

Why are you wearing an undershirt and what happens when you don't?

Yeah, right.

P.T. even said it while we were frothing.

He was like, why aren't you sweating, big guy?

I was like, I have a beater on.

It was honestly disgusting.

Just takes up all the sweat. I'm 28 and next in line for a big promotion when my boss retires.
He's 63 and instead he thinks he has a few years left in him. How do I get him to retire early slash tomorrow? Kill him.
Thanks in advance. Yeah, either you have to kill him or you have to start sucking so bad at your job that he wants to quit and get away from you throw him in front of a train Frank Underwood style whoa

spoiler yeah true

but no you can't

watch it

because it's Kevin Spacey it's canceled

you can watch the last season yeah I actually

tried to watch just the series

finale I was so confused

because I hadn't watched the last season

it honestly sucks after the second after the first

season yeah replace all

his coffee with decaf

that's a great idea that after the first season. Yeah.
Replace all his coffee with decaf. That's a great idea, Billy.
That is the meanest. Killing him would have been nicer.
Because it's not actually bad, but he's like, oh, man, I'm tired all the time. I can't do this anymore.
Oh, damn, Billy. That is.
If you do that to me, Billy, I will kill you. Or soy milk.
Soy milk. A little estrogenic action.
Start getting really slowed down. He's like, either i could quit or i have to start wearing a bra i think which like you could try to get him addicted to something instead of getting him an off off an addiction you could like start sprinkling just a little bit of heroin into his cigarettes but then he'll enjoy the job more and like be like i can do this forever yeah i gotta get to work something happens when i go to feel great.
All right. Kill them.
I teach at an elementary school and I'm one of three male teachers in the building. Any ideas on how to promote sports slash sports gambling talk at the water cooler in the teacher's silence? Tried doing a March Madness bracket last year and most brackets had the team with the cutest mascot winning.
Oh, yeah. Those ones usually do well.
Well, first of all, I disagree with the take that just because you work with all females that they wouldn't be into sports gambling. I think they just are all looking to talk about sports gambling, but they think that maybe their coworkers don't want to talk about it.
What I would do in this situation is you have to do it very slowly. You got to start doing like random like, hey, bet I can't like you want to bet me I can't hit this shot, like throwing something into the

trash, little stuff like that.

And then they're like, oh, that was fun. Double or nothing.

If you double or nothing someone,

you can have a bet going for

life. You could also just start off

by relating it to their actual

job at work. So you could say like, hey,

if the Sixers win tonight,

I'll clean off your chalkboard for you for

the next week and then get like start doing some inner office. Do they sell chalkboards? That made sense to me, so I think we both outed ourselves there.
I was like, yeah, you're right. That's actually a good chore.
Whoever the person is that sold whiteboards to every school in America, that must have been the most lucrative salesperson job ever for like 10 years. Oh, yeah.
And the markers. Fuck those markers.
They fucking after like three times, you can't use them. Can you still smell? Expose.
Yeah, because if you don't put the cap on it, do they still have the sniffing markers? Okay, you probably I can't compete with that. Like we should end the show.
I think I have to retire no cap.

Yeah, Jake just killed it.

I think Jake, we just witnessed the death of no cap. I think that's it.

I think that's it.

Let's do numbers.

That was Billy.

Oh, my God.

Teachers would always complain about having to buy more.

No, no, don't say anything else.

That was a George Costanza walk-off moment for you.

Tom Brady's son is now a ball boy at the Buccaneers camp,

so he's going to be handling Tom's balls. Okay.
All right. Not just me anymore.
He now has a very complicit individual in his deflate gate. Got it.
Okay. Just saying.
Anyway. Also, I'm going to be doing go to the part of my TikTok, follow it, watch the videos, all of the draft orders for 18, 10 team, 12 team, and 14 team leagues will be in a tiktok go to the tiktok follow it please so so basically if you ask for a draft order just get all your names in a row and then billy will pick so if you have an eight team he will show you exactly what the order is random over a thousand people leagues contacted love it in.
This is an efficient way to do it.

Very efficient.

So you're going to do it when we get back with the lottery machine?

No, I was going to do it for tomorrow.

How are you going to do it?

I was just going to do random ones.

Okay, cool.

So it's random my brain.

All right, nice.

All right, speaking of random numbers.

75.

99.

18.

Jonah.

69.

Jonah's got five. Five? Got five.
All right, here we go. 75.
99. 18.
69. Jonah's got five.

Five?

Got five.

All right, here we go.

24.

24.

Kobe.

Sharks are all about that sleep when you're dead lifestyle.

Yeah.

That's there.

Just say the puppies one again with the elephants.

Yeah, that was fucking awesome.

Say the elephant one.

Elephants look at humans

like humans look at puppies.

Aw.

Love you guys.

And now,

a dramatic reading of

Take On Me

by AHA.

Talking away.

I don't know what I'm to say.

I'll say it anyway. Today isn't my day to find you.
Shying away, I'll be coming for your love, okay? Take on me, take on me. Take me on, take on me.
I'll be gone in a day or two. So needless to say of odds and ends, but I'll be stumbling away, slowly learning that life is okay.
Say after me, it's no better to be safe, then sorry. Take on me.
Take on me.

Take me on.

Take on me.

I'll be gone in a day or two.

Oh, things that you say.

Is it a life or just to play my worries away?

You're all the things I've got to remember.

You're shying away.

I'll be coming for you anyway.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take me on.

Take on me.

I'll be gone in a day. Take on me.
I'll be gone in a day.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take me on.

Take on me.

I'll be gone.

In a day.

It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports.