Hard Knocks Episode 1, Olympic Gold Medal Wrestler Gable Steveson, Daymond John + Mt Rushmore Of Athlete Nicknames

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have Hard Knocks Episode 1. We are back with Hard Knocks, the first sign that football is right around the corner.
We have Olympic gold medalist Gable Steveson. awesome story

he won the

uh

Olympic gold medal

with a

but around the corner. We have Olympic gold medalist Gable Steveson.

Awesome story. He won the

Olympic gold medal with a buzzer

beater in wrestling. He's also

a barstool athlete, so we talk about his

shirts. We have Damon

John, our good friend Damon John, in

studio to talk about his new audio

book. Not a book, audio

book. Damon John in studio.

We have Hot Seat Cool Throne

and then the Mount Rushmore

of athlete nicknames.

Thank you. book, not a book, audio book.
Damon John in studio. We have Hot Seat, Cool Throne, and then the Mount Rushmore of athlete nicknames.
We go extra round on that one, and we're brought to you by our friends at Movement Watches. Movement Watches in a tiny apartment in Southern California, two college dropouts teamed up to create a watch company that broke all the rules.
These are guys, this is a true American story of guys making it so the watches that they created are some of the best watches ever. And they don't break the bank.
That's the best part. Movement watches have the look and quality of a $400 to $500 watch you're paying for at a department store, but they cost a fraction of the price because they were built online and they own the process from start to finish.
You get a beautiful watch shipped right to your door for free, and if you don't love it, you can ship it right back for free. And they have blue light glasses.
You need the blue light glasses if you're in front of a computer all day. The Everscroll blue light filtering glasses are a game changer.
I wear them when I know that I'm going to be staring at a screen for a very long time. It really helps with eye strain and poor sleeping patterns.
And I love the modern style of the frame. So if you want to elevate your look with style that doesn't break the bank, then join the movement MVMT and get 15% off with free shipping and free returns by going to MVMT.com slash pardon.
Again, that's mvmt.com slash pardon. Movement watches, join the movement.
You will not be disappointed. Some of the best

watches out there and a ton of different styles. Okay, let's go.
We'll be it higher. Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric irony.
It's Part of My Take presented by Marshall Sports. It's higher.
Welcome to Part of My Take presented by MVMT. Watches MVMT.com slash pardon.
Go right now. Get 15% off.
Today is Wednesday, August 11th, and Hard Knocks is back. Football is back.
It is the first sign that football is back. It's a rite of passage.
It's like the first leaf falling off of a tree in the fall

when Hard Knocks Episode 1

drops. It feels like you

get that warm feeling of, oh,

I've been here before. Oh, we have

maximum amount of football ahead of us.

It felt so good. Yeah, football wasn't

even back at the start of Hard Knocks. Football

was back about 20 minutes into Hard Knocks.

We had our first mojo moment of the

football season. Yes.
The pads hit

each other, and I still

don't really know what a mojo moment is.

Thank you. was back about 20 minutes into Hard Knocks.
We had our first mojo moment of the football season. Yes.
The pads hit each other. And I still don't really know what a mojo moment is.
And I think if you were to ask, if you were to inject Mike McCarthy with truth serum and ask him what a mojo moment really is, he probably doesn't really know. It's just, it's a cool thing to say.
And so, but when you heard those pads click together, I know that that was a mojo moment. I don't want to get Cowboys fans down about episode one because it actually was a good episode.
We've had a couple hard knocks busts the last few years. I can't even remember.
Last year was definitely a bust. The mojo moment, though, it really was just Mike McCarthy being like, I want to play a clip of austin powers and here's how i can segue this in here's how i can fit this in somehow to make it like a teaching

moment a coaching moment i don't know and it gave me a flashback to fred hoiberg when the bulls were

really struggling he started playing like old school and animal house to try to loosen up the

team i just feel like that's when your coach is playing Austin Powers

to try to teach you football.

I don't know.

Maybe I'm just projecting here, but that feels a little off.

It was a little bit off, but you're right.

I think he really likes the movie Austin Powers.

And I don't think that Mojo was from The Spy Who Shagged Me, by the way.

I think that was from the other Austin Powers, the first first one. So he's like, he's shoehorning two Austin Powers clips into his big team meeting at the start of the year.
It was, yeah, it was like something that Michael Scott might do. Yeah.
Where he's like, you know, what's a really funny movie I enjoyed that I'm going to make you guys? Like Mike McCarthy is going to end up playing all the 80s sex romps for the boys. Like they're going to play PCU at some point.
He's probably going to put on a clip from Porky's in the locker room and be like, this is how things were back in my day when I was growing up in Pittsburgh, boys. Yeah, Mike McCarthy.
So a couple big picture thoughts I had was, number one, we do this every single summer in August when Hard Knocks comes out. We hyping up the team that's on Hard Knocks we all take everyone in our fantasy draft like two rounds too early because they're Hard Knocks heroes this year with the fact that it's the Dallas Cowboys who always have too much hype and now they're on Hard Knocks I can't see a world that Dallas Dallas Cowboys don't win at least 15 games.
And C.D. Lamb should be a first-rounder, and Amari Cooper should be a first-rounder, and Dak Prescott, even though his arm is about to fall off, should be a first-rounder.
And same with Zeke. So this, like my brain already can't handle having the Cowboys on hard knocks with their hype, and then more hype on top of the hype.
And I'm just, I mean, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're going to win the Superbowl. And obviously in my deep down, like thoughts, I know they're going to probably win like five games, but right now I'm sitting here like, yup, Jerry Jones, he doesn't have to kill a man.
He can just wait until the second weekend of February because they're going all the way, babe. Yeah.
Dan, Dan fucking Quinn is back. That's what I'm going to start calling him this year because that guy is dropping all the F-bombs in the world.
He's got the hat backwards. This is a new improved Dan Quinn that we're looking at.
He's rebuilding himself this year. I think he's really taken the opportunity to not be the head coach where now he can get back to being aggressive.
Dan Quinn, the defensive coordinator. I mean, I don't think he took the backwards hat off the entire time.
Colin Coward would have a stroke trying to watch him coach defense, but Dan fucking Quinn is back. Big time Zeke.
I actually do think that Zeke is going to be back this season. He looks good.
He looks he's it's physical Elliot this year. The dude has the six pack back.
He doesn't have the belly anymore. What physical Elliot was terrible.
Please don't know. Noicial Elliott? Please don't.
I heard you. Please don't.
We're going to make this happen. He does look skinny, though.
He looks skinny. He looks very skinny.
I don't think that the eat motion where he's eating the soup or the cereal, that doesn't work for a guy that's back to being skinny again. Yeah, no.
He's like sipping on a green juice. He looks skinny.
I noticed it before they talked about him looking skinny, like when you first saw him come on the screen. I have a question for you, PFT.
Sus or not, buying another man a birthday gift. They have birthday week on the Cowboys.
It's like back-to-back Dak and Zeke. I think it's just boys being boys.
I'll put it this way. If you're at camp with somebody, then yeah, buy them a gift.
Watching Zeke trying to wrap the gift, by the way, was very funny. Just buy a bag, dude.
Just buy a bag. He should have gotten a bigger bag to put Dak's birthday bag in.
Yeah, it was like the YouTube going on YouTube. Everyone has been there.
It's wrapping a gift and tying a bow tie. Those are the two things that every person has gone on YouTube being like, let me just fire this up real quick and I'll be able to figure it out.
And then it always goes too fast. But I actually think they did that on purpose.
Billy pointed it out because last year, remember, was the famous birthday party between the two of them during the COVID lockdown. So this year they were like, let's make a real note of it.
They were just getting each other presents here. I think so.
All right. So the number one moment from the entire episode, we have to give it to the I want to try the cake.
The offensive lineman who is huffing and puffing. I can't remember who it was.
I think he was a practice squad last year. But he, that moment was so fucking good.
Isaac Alarcon, can you get that pronunciation for me, Jake? Huffing and puffing being like, I want to try the cake. I want to try the cake was so fucking good.
But here's my question. It feels like we have a little tension already.
Mike McCarthy and Dak Prescott, Jerry Jones and Mike McCarthy. We had Mike McCarthy.
When Jerry Jones started talking about how he wanted to kill a man and then started crying and rambling, Mike McCarthy was side-eyeing him being like, what the fuck is this guy talking about? And then, like, Jerry Jones coming out to the practice field and being like, hey, when can we get Dak back? Like, can he just do some short throws and stuff? I just, I don't know. It'll be interesting to see because it does feel like those guys might not totally get along.
There was definitely a little bit of tension, but I think there's always tension with Jerry Jones. You never know.
Jerry doesn't tell his coaches what he's about to say in the press conference in front of him. And I don't know if he was crying or if his face was just leaking from his most recent surgery, but Mike McCarthy was definitely squirming in his seat.
Mike McCarthy is not a guy that likes to see another man express emotion next to him unless it's anger. If it's anger or pure joy then he's fine.
But like any actual emotions, not so much. And then when Jerry gets on the phone, I actually thought that was the best scene of the episode.
When he got on the phone trying to see if Dak could maybe do short passes and sit along, maybe he can throw like a ping pong ball or something. And then he hangs up the phone and he takes his breakfast sandwich, the biscuit with the sausage.

I think it was a McGriddle. I think it was a McGriddle.
It wasn't because I recognized the wrapping around it. It was something that you might find at like a Panera, like a Panera breakfast sandwich.
No, that was a McDonald's. They blurred out the M.
It was a McDonald's. Oh, they blurred it? Yeah, it was a McDonald's.
And then he salts. He salted his McDonald's.
He dumped a whole shitload of salt onto his breakfast sausage.

Yes.

At the end, which I'm pretty sure if you looked up the nutrition stats, Billy, maybe you can take care of that from the nutritional aspect. See what the daily amount of sodium or the amount of sodium that's contained in one sausage McGriddle is, and then we can estimate how much extra salt Jerry Jones is putting on that.
I did notice he also drinks his coffee black. That's a fucking man after my heart right there.
That's just hard work. Salt and coffee gets the body going in the morning.
What do you got for me, James? We're looking at Alarcone. Alarcone.
Isaac Alarcone. A-H-L-A-R-E-Cone.
I want to push back on one thing, though, PFT. Mike McCarthy did show emotion when he found out that Dak Prescott's arm is fucked up, and it made me think, is a head coach finding out that their star quarterback might be injured? I think that's the most devastating news you could ever give a head coach.
Like, I'm talking you could tell them their family just got kidnapped, and they'd be like, all right, well, we'll figure out after practice. But the trainer walking up to me and like, hey, it's a muscular thing, we don't know, he got fatter in the moment.
Like, he kind of, you could see him get a little winded just from that news, and it made me realize that a head coach getting that news, I need every head coach to be miked up when they get that type of news because it is absolutely devastating. It's like snuff porn.
Yeah, I don't know if he got fatter in the moment or if his body spontaneously put on another layer because Mike McCarthy is the king of layering up in all these clips. He's got a long-sleeve-shirt underneath that, and then maybe a vest or a polo shirt on top.

He's just he looks like he's prepared for any weather.

But yeah, he was like, you know, immediately he was like, fuck, you got to be kidding me.

But I think we'd probably have that same reaction if Ben DiNucci was the guy that was. Ben DiNucci did not look great.

No, this episode.

Every time they showed him actually attempting a pass, it was either an interception or it was over somebody's head by 20 feet. Well, the Gianucci, which I think we should call it this, is him falling backwards in the pocket and throwing the ball.
He's always kind of half, his body's half falling down, trying to avoid a sack while also attempting a throw. So I think he thinks he's Patrick Mahomes.
It's an extra element. It's a sidearm throw as he's turning away from the pass rush, and then he misses it like three yards to the outside.
But, yeah, every clip that they showed of DiNucci, it wasn't great. The other thing I i noticed was and it's going to take a lot of

getting used to is michael parsons wearing number 11 that is um it i was watching it i was like this guy weighs 205 pounds and he's a linebacker and then i looked up his stats and he's like 6 2 and 250 pounds yeah the 11 totally screws up my brain he michael parsons is going to be nasty I love watching the moment where guys realize that he is a first-round talent for a reason and he's a special player. When they were like, they had the clip of being like, holy shit, number 11 is fast.
And Micah Parsons also just likes to snack, complaining that at Penn State they had snacks at the sideline in the Dallas Cowboys. Like, Jerry Jones, if you watch this episode one, which I know you will, and you're listening to this show right now, get some fucking snacks on the sideline.
Come on. Like, get some snacks for at least Michael Parsons.
That's your first-round pick. That's the guy that's going to fix your entire defense, allegedly, just by drafting him.
Get some snacks for him, because he was hungry. He was chowing down on orange slices at halftime,

knowing he didn't even have to go back into the game

when he was calculating how much sitting he had to do,

and he was still ravishingly hungry in that moment.

That's one thing that I realized is that you know preseason football sucks

when even the guys that are playing, the starters,

are bummed out that they have to sit down and watch

two and a half hours of preseason football. He was just like, God, this is going to suck.
Do we have to do this every week? And Van Der Esch was like, yeah, especially if you're injured. Yeah, right.
Yeah, which guess what? You're on the Cowboys. You're a linebacker.
You will be. Yeah.
Another thing, this is kind of like looking ahead to the future because it's something I read earlier today about Randy Gregory. So I had a little clip of Randy Gregory.
A lot of people forget that he's on the Cowboys and he's active this year. He went to rehab.
He's getting his life together. But you know what they did? The way that he gave up smoking weed because I think like 0.0001% of people who start smoking weed actually get addicted to weed.
And I think Randy Gregory is one of those guys. But to get him to stop using drugs, he's now smoking a pack of cigarettes every day.
Whoa. So instead of smoking weed, he's just blazing through cigs.
So they should let Randy Gregory do cigs inside in the defensive room. All right.
Other things, quick hitters. Kellen Moore is way too young.
Like that, when he was trying to talk to the offense at halftime of the preseason game, I was like, holy shit, this guy's young. I don't know, he's got to grow a mustache or something.
Something about his look, he needs to add some age if he wants to be considered a real guy. And I know there's young head coaches now, but he still looks very young.
His baby face. Jerry likes to keep one guy around like that at all times.
Like the presumptive head coach in waiting, that's a lot younger, and is like his guy, just to keep the actual head coach on his toes throughout the season. Yeah.
Let's see. I think that was about it.
Billy took notes as well. Billy, do you have some notes for us? Well, we pretty much covered a lot of it.
Yeah. Okay.
The cake. The cake was awesome.
Oh, and John Bones Fossil explaining his vasectomy to, like, a room full of alpha male 22-year-olds. That was a great moment.
Yeah, they're like, wait, so you don't come anymore? it was like you talking to all this trying to figure out exactly how a vasectomy works uh i also had there was charlie fuck around in high school harry yep like two guys that that mike mccarthy made up high school harry i thought that was a nice little nod to our guy yeah little sasquatch yeah um i don't know what charlie fuck around is but um but i liked. I just like hearing coaches cuss because you don't get to hear that on the NFL films and all that stuff.
So anytime you hear a head coach drop an F-bomb, I think that's always a real treat. Let's see.
What else did I have? There was one other note that I had. Also, Mike McCarthy in that one scene when everyone's in coaching attire and he's just decided to wear an Ed Hardy going out shirt.
That was bizarre. What was he doing there? Was he just trying to prove to everyone he's got more money than them? That was a cold special.
I think he bought that. I've seen that shirt before.
And, yeah, I think he had it unbuttoned down to the collar. Yeah, oversized, like, ill-fitting dress shirt when everyone else is wearing sweats just to be like, yeah, I'm the coach.
Don't worry about it. Oh, you know why he got upset when when Dak strained his shoulders?

Because like Mike McCarthy, we know he's a huge analytics guy going back to his introductory press conference where he just made up the fact that he's been studying analytics.

Yep.

I think his major analytics move that he put in this offseason was just tracking Dak Prescott like wildlife.

Like he was like a great white shark that he's been tagged off the coast. Because after that first practice, he's like, oh man, Dak moved around too much at practice today.
We're going to have to calm him down and keep him on the sidelines. I think realizing that Dak was not going to be able to be tracked to practice, that really put a whole wrench in his new analytics system.
Yeah, 575. He recorded a 575.
That made no sense. And shout out to Dak for having the wherewithal to not throw the cake.
Because he was about to throw the cake. And then he realized that he probably needs Tommy John surgery, so he didn't throw the cake.
So I think everyone was holding their breath in that moment. Like, is Dak about to throw this cake and hurt his arm even more? I just don't know what's wrong with him.
I just know that when you have to start consulting, like, MLB training staffs, that just feels bad, right? Yeah. That doesn't feel good.
It's definitely not a good sign. I think we're going to get, like, daily updates on Dak Prescott, like we got with Andrew Luck the other year, when it was like, okay, now he's throwing a Nerf ball.
Now he's throwing a high school-sized football. Now he threw an NFL football underhanded twice today.
And now he's going to do long toss with a baseball over at the Rangers facility. It's going to be an ongoing saga of whether or not his shoulder is going to be okay.
But, yeah, football's back. I like it.
Football's back. Football's back.
All right, let's get to Hot Seat Cool Throne. Hot Seat Cool Throne is brought to you by our friends at Coors Light.
Coors Light is the official beer of slowing down summer. Summer always feels like it's the shortest season.
We're already halfway through August. People have been prematurely calling the end of summer.
I'm here to tell you, hold on, hold on. The summer is not over, and Coors Light is here for you.
It is here to chill. It is literally made to chill because Coors Light is cold-loggered, cold-filtered, cold-packaged.
It's literally made to chill. It's crisp and refreshing as the Colorado Rockies, perfect for a moment to unwind this summer.
You crack open a Coors Light. It's delicious.
Summer's there. We actually just played some disc golf, which the video will come out next week during Grit Week.
We were cracking open some Coors Light after each hole. It was delicious.
It felt like summer. When you see your Coors Light can, make sure those mountains are blue because Coors Light is official of slowing down summer, because it's the beer that's made it chill.
We want you to savor every second of summer. Get Coors Light in the new look delivered straight to your door with Drizzly or Instacart by going to CoorsLight.com slash take.
Celebrate responsibly. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado.
Coors Light, the greatest beer ever created. Fact.
Hot seat, cool thrown. Hank.
My hot seat is Dennis Schroeder. Yeah.
He was offered a four-year, 80-plus million dollar deal last year with the Lakers. Get to play with LeBron James, Anthony Davis.
Two good players, some people say. He rolled the dice.
He rejected the deal. He said he wanted $100 million.
He bet on himself. Today, he signed a one-year, $5.9 million contract.
That's the minimum you can sign for with the Celtics. So he's betting on himself again.
Yeah. Well, cool throwing Celtics.
It's good for the Celtics. You're going to get the hungriest Dennis Schroeder you can get.
Well, you know what? But that's tough. Also, last year was also the hungriest Dennis Schroeder.
I'm always in favor of guys betting on themselves. This is the downside, but he just keeps on doubling down and betting on himself.
Eventually, it will come through. Has to, right? Has to.
He was posting videos of him skateboarding while he was still a free agent, which I thought was insane. Keeping his legs warm.
Don't you eventually get to a place in the NBA where if you just play long enough, a team has to offer you a contract for a lot of money, right? Yeah. No, that is true.
That's absolutely true. It's a veteran minimum where if you're over 10 years, you just automatically get $10 million no matter what.
There we go. Call it the Juwan Howard rule.
So he's going to bet on himself for how many more years does he have? Another like one year. Yeah, but I'm saying to get to the 10-year level.
How old is he? Whatever. Let's just say he's got four more years of betting on himself.
Okay, 27. 27.
Very close, Hank. Four more years of betting on himself.
Then he officially, the bet will come through, and he'll just be in the NBA until he decides that he's done with the NBA. I love it, because he was trying to speak it into existence, because I think at the time when he said that he wanted 100 mil, everybody was like, what the hell? There's no chance that he gets it.
But by putting that out there into the universe, they call that the secret, right? Yes. If you just pretend to be something.
Like we pretend to be the best sports podcast. We've done it long enough that it's actually come true for us.
Yes, exactly. So good luck, Dennis Schroeder.
And then staying on back. Also, your name is Dennis, which is just funny.
Like Dennis, and maybe that's just because of Dennis the Menace, but Dennis is just... And his little skunk haircut thing.
So I think we need to... Dennis Rodman, but he was the worm.
I don't know. We need to work on a real preview.
For Dennis Schroeder, because I think a solid nickname for him could help him get up to that next level. Like Dennis Flies in Boston, though.
Dennis, yeah. Dennis Leary? Yeah.
Yeah. Okay, yeah.
He just changed his name to Dennis Leary. And we're like, that guy's funny.
Or Dentist Leary. And he also is...
And get like a gold tooth. Yeah.
He also plays a good firefighter. Right? Wasn't that Dennis Leary? Yeah, I think so.
Yeah. He backdraft.
And truck commercials. No, bad truck commercials.
Yeah. Not our truck commercials.
Not our truck. All right, your cool throne.

Ben Simmons.

Yeah.

Happy learned how to putt.

He's taking our advice.

He posted a video, him and Rondo, two of the most lethal shooters in NBA history.

Just fucking wedding threes, both back to back to back.

I think they hit like eight in a row.

It was three and two, but that's pretty much eight in a row.

I had some people pushing back when I was like,

this just proves how good NBA shooters are,

because I really do think it's true.

Even guys who can't shoot, Ben Simmons, I guess he can shoot,

he just chooses not to.

But every guy on an NBA roster is incredible in an empty gym.

He just is.

I bet you if you put Dwight Howard out there in an empty gym,

he would make all his threes too, or most of them. That's just how good they are.
I think Ben Simmons, though, he needs to just kind of walk before you run in this situation. Just post some clips of you dunking.
Just answer that question first. Are you afraid of baskets? Yeah, it's got to be very exhausting.
I guess Sixers fans have moved on. But it's got to be exhausting to see the same thing every summer and then nothing change.
I do kind of hope, though, that he comes back next season. and whatever team he's playing for, if it's not the 76ers, I hope he's just sick.
They can't trade him. Ben Simmons, I've said this before and obviously he's not going to be on the Bulls now because the Bulls have got Lonzo Ball and they've made a bunch of moves, but I'm kind of low-key addicted to Ben Simmons because he really is like a penny stock.
If he could figure it out a little bit, he'd be incredible. He would be a starter on the All-Star team.
He's got all the other stuff. Defense, passing, dribbling, being like a matchup problem.
If he could just figure out when to shoot and have the balls to shoot, I'm telling you, invest now. I'm thinking the moon.
We need the moon. We need Elon Musk to tweet about Ben Simmons and then he'll just pop.
I need Matthew Bevilacqua to sell me on Ben Simmons aka Webistics. That's not a spoiler.
It's just a statement of fact from Soprano. It's like when you do an interview with Jordan Belfort.
Here, sell me this Ben. Yeah, exactly.
Boom. Done.
Nice pun. Yeah.
Okay. PFT, your hot seat culture.
My hot seat is going to be Joe Buck. Joe Buck's hosting Jeopardy this week, and everyone's going to hate him.
I think Jeopardy James actually roasted him, saying that the people at Merv Griffin said

whoever's going to be the next host of Jeopardy is going to have to quit their other job.

And so he's saying, for the sake of everybody who watches NFL football, I hope they give the job to Joe Buck.

Kind of roasting.

That's kind of Jeopardy James' thing.

When he's not on Jeopardy beating people, he's just at home watching Jeopardy, making fun of the people that aren't as good as him. It's like a KD situation with him.
I would miss Joe Buck very much. I would miss him too.
I think that people have come around on Joe Buck for the most part, but I don't think that people realize the hole that Joe Buck would leave in Sunday afternoon announcing if he were to leave. And I think that Troy would just continue to call whoever got replaced Joe.
Yes. I love hearing Troy Aikman say the word Joe on Sunday, but it looks like the guy that's going to be the next host of Jeopardy, they kind of said that they were negotiating the contract.
His name's Mike Richards. That was confusing when I first heard that Mike.
I thought Mike Richards was at Colorado Rockies games full time. Oh, all time comeback if Michael Richards was the Jeopardy host.
But this is a different Mike Richards. This guy was the dude who was in charge of leading the search.
It's like the Dick Cheney. Yeah, George Bush, I'll find your next vice president.
Yeah, yeah. Guess what? No one's as good as me after vetting everybody very thoroughly.
Hire myself. Hire me.
Yes. So, yeah, Joe Buck is going to be on Jeopardy this week.

It's just disgusting behavior from the Jeopardy fans,

just not liking Joe Buck.

Agreed.

Are you kidding me?

A disgusting act.

That is a disgusting act.

Use that hate for something that needs it,

like Andrew Sisciano.

Yes.

In four weeks, I'm going to start mentally bracing myself now

because I know week one.

Yeah.

It's on. It's on like Donkey Kong, Jakeong take me and you we're fucking facing each other i like hansen too no you don't but yeah i'm already mentally ready okay good good uh my cool throne is going to be andrew cuomo because he resigned and he used our advice which is just saying i'm italian yep i'm not a pervert i'm Italian.
That's the Mike Tirico defense as well. It works well anytime it's been deployed.
So he did resign today. Many people are saying he's going to come back in a couple years and try to run again after he seeks treatment for being a pervert.
But, yeah, Andrew Cuomo, the Italian. I'm not a pervert.
I'm Italian. I just touch people.
There's no coming back from that. I need to see more mixtapes of him touching people, though.
Yeah, I mean, he did it himself. Make it a weekly thing.
It's still incredible to be like, hey, guys, I'm not inappropriate. Here's a highlight reel of me touching a bunch of people.
That wasn't really what he was going. Someone should have thought that out a little bit better.
I think it was very funny, though. Oh, it was hilarious, but it was not exactly what they were trying to prove.
More should have been like, I don't touch people, and just deny, deny, deny. Like most politicians.
Yep. As long as you don't admit anything, you don't ever have to face consequences.
Tough for Italian people, though, because they have to look in the mirror now and be like, am I a pervert or am I Italian? I think you just say it's a thin line. It is a thin line between Italian or pervert.
We should actually do, like Rick Pitino, Italian or pervert. Italian.
Yeah, Italian. Definitely Italian.
Absolutely Italian. John Calipari, Italian or pervert.
Italian. Yeah, also Bill Cosby, Italian or pervert.
I'm going to go pervert and also R-word. I think he's pervert.
Yeah. How the fuck is he out of jail? Because of technicality.
That's the worst technicality of all time. They said, essentially the prosecutor said, hey, Bill Cosby, if you agree to provide testimony or like background information in the civil trial, we won't use anything that you tell us in the criminal trial then they were like hey my fingers were crossed looks like we're gonna take that was cliff huxtable telling us that that wasn't bill cosby so um yeah just bad prosecutorial prosecutorial misconduct mike tarico yeah no italian orvert? Both.
The rare combination of both.

The Venn diagram.

I think you have to be one of the other.

Binary. I think Italian Mike is the one

that he can... Is he more

Italian or more pervert? That's the question.

It's been so long since he's

been publicly a pervert that I

think he's just become Italian.

And Cuomo is just pervert right now. He needs

to re-find his Italian heritage. Maybe go host football night in America for a while.
Yeah. And people forget about it.
All right. Go do the Olympics.
Also, it doesn't help that you have the nipple ring. I think that's what he has to do.
He has to have a ceremony where he gets the nipple ring removed. That's big pervert behavior.
Nipple rings is like, hey, regular sex isn't good enough for me. I want my nipples to be pierced so you can tickle them.
Also, Cuomo went with a great defense of, I just love New York too much. That's why he had to have his hands all over it for so long.
He loves it so much he had to step down because he loves New York to the point of if he could fondle New York, he would do it. But he won't because he's stepping down in 14 days which gives a lot of leeway there for the fondling.
There's 14 days of fondling. You can give a two weeks notice to resigning in disgrace? Yeah, he gave two weeks.
14 days. He's got to do a transition.
He's got to be hands on for the transition process. Who's going to replace him? It's a female.
First female governor of all time in New York. There you go.
So what really has to happen is he's going to take his successor under his wing, both wings, and then show her the ropes. It's almost like going to Topgolf with a date, showing her how to drive her.
That's what Cuomo's doing right now. really got to get out there.
Here's how you sign legislation. Let me get behind you real quick and show you.
You got to press the flesh with the people out there. All right, my hot seat is Twitter because Jay Cutler's back.
Jay Cutler's back on Twitter. It's been about eight years.
I don't know if Twitter's ready for him. I don't think he's ready for Twitter.
I don't know. They're oil and water.
But either way, Jay Cutler's back. I don't know if he knows what Twitter's like now because he was like, I'm going to get banned from Instagram, so I'm going to Twitter.
I feel like Twitter's way worse than Instagram in that respect. How so? In terms of unfiltered, Jay Cutler might, Twitter might not jive with that.

Twitter, the actual app?

Oh, actually, you're right.

You're right.

The app is more forgiving.

You're right.

You're right.

Than Instagram?

Yeah.

It is.

Except for if you try to post Olympic highlights.

Right.

Then it is less forgiving.

But either way, it's good to have him back.

He actually was a great tweeter back in the day.

I actually don't even remember Jay being on Twitter.

Oh, he was actually very, very funny on Twitter. It's going to be tough for him to get that checkmark though because everybody knows the real Jay Cutler is the bodybuilder.
I think he got it. Did he? I think he got it.
Yeah, he did. I just saw a tweet.
Yes, he got it. Well, yeah, it can't be at Jay Cutler.
That's reserved for our swole campaign. Yeah, no, he's back.
He's back on Twitter. Yep, he's already going into, let's see, Williamson County Board of Education special called meeting.
I wonder what that's about. That's probably just the curriculum for next year.
Yeah, definitely. That they're discussing.
All right, my cool throne is the Lions, because the Lions have no turds. That's Dan Campbell said that they got no turds.
So officially they flushed all the turds out. They have no turds.
He gave credit to Matt Patricia and Bob Quinn for doing a great job, which was nice because that's rare to give the guys who you replaced credit. But all the turds are out.
I'm ready for some Dan Campbell football. I think I'm expecting the Lions.
I'm going to bet the Lions in September. Yeah, so Jake and I were listening to Greeny on the way out to disc golf today.
He has his custom. And he was saying that he's going to take the under on not only the Lions but the Texans.
And they might not win more than three or four games. This is a major Greeny-weeny alert.
If greenie feels that strongly about something when it comes to gambling,

you fade green big time.

Who knows what's going to happen with the Lions once November rolls around

or December, historically not the best time of year in Detroit for football.

But I do think that the Dan Campbell effect is going to be very real in September.

You know what they're going to do?

They're going to outman people.

They're going to smash people in the face. He was also talking about the Browns and how they have an improved defense, their first-round pick.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Me and Jake were like, what did the Browns do to really shore up that defense? He's like, I'm really excited about the secondary.
Well, they got Jadavia Clowney. No, but that's not what he was talking about.
Yeah, I know, but there's nothing. Jadavia and Clowney should stay in the NFL for the next decade and just hop from team to team so everyone can have that take of, well, they have Jadavion Clowney now.
Like the Titans were a terrible defense last year. If Jadavion Clowney can put it all together again, if Jadavion Clowney can do that play that he did against Michigan every single game this year, I think that the Browns will have a much improved defense.
But Jake, what was Greeny talking? What did we discover that Greeny was talking about? So we're looking at who they got, obviously Clowney, Greg Newsome, the second cornerback, Northwestern. Okay, he's actually a really good player.
He's actually a very, very good player. But Greeny was talking about him like he's about to become the most valuable player of the NFL.
He is a good player, but yeah, I understand where there's a little conflict of interest. Also, hot seat, I totally forgot, but we did play disc golf today.
We're going to be posting that on Monday, and I think ball golf, as our instructor told us, that's what he called it, ball golf. Do you guys play any ball golf? It's now on the hot seat because disc golf is the future.
It is absolutely the future. We had a great time with the boys, so tune in on Monday for Grit Week starting off.
So cheap, too. It is.
Did we pay? It was like $10 to get into the state park. Oh, that's it.
So we could have stayed forever. Yeah.
Okay. But ball golf.
That was very funny. He's like, you guys play any ball golf? Excuse me? Okay.
He's like, well, I have to figure, I have to call it something different than what we're playing. I also said, you could just call it golf.
When we first got there, he was setting us up with discs, and I mentioned the word Frisbee, and he legitimately stopped in his tracks and stared me down. You don't say the F word.
He's like, you mean disc? I was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. And you're like, we're going to play a two-on-two game.
He's like, oh, doubles? Yeah. Shout out Kyle.
Great instructor. Awesome player.
I feel like the word disc is only now used in disc golf. You were saying froth, and I couldn't tell if that...
No, you're not supposed to say that. Yeah, because when you were saying that in my head, I was like, I feel like he's probably fuming right now.
Yeah, absolutely. That was a microaggression by me.
Absolutely. Jake, hot seat Coulteron Hot Seat is taunting.
So the NFL came out with new rules today. And automatic ejection for two taunting violations with fines and suspensions also in play.
You love this, don't you? No. Yeah.
No. Fun for the game.
No, no, no, no. You love this.
I think you think it's fun for the game until it actually happens. So when you win it, in theory, you're like, I really love taunting.
But when you see Marshawn Lynch grab his penis as he's jumping in the end zone, you want to be like, there's no place for this in football. So with two violations, does that mean you can go all out on your first? Will they still find you for the first? Oh, I don't know.
There's got to be a loophole. Probably still get flat, too.
Belichick will find the loophole. Just wait.
Whenever there's a new rule, just wait until Belichick implements it. And then you'll be like, okay.
So he'll have everyone come out and just taunt the whole first quarter and then be like, nope, no more taunt. Or he'll teach some of his players to learn how to cry on command so that they can go to the ref and have tears coming down their face.
Be like, that guy just taunted me. Boom, 15-yard penalty.
Yes. And Cool Throne is friend of the program, recurring guest, CJ McCollum.
He was elected MBPA president. Yeah, nice.
He's got a big voice. We were in his fantasy league last year.
All right, we've got to get him on. Talk to him about some, like, does it suck knowing that LeBron's still your boss? That's a good question.
I would like to hear from him. Save that question for me.
NBA PA leadership. Yeah.
Yeah, so we'll hear from him soon. That was probably part of the transfer of power.
Yeah, I mean, doesn't CJ have a winery? Yeah. So LeBron was like, alright dude, listen, we'll set you up with this winery, but I'm going to be the real boss.
You know what, I'm actually a little bit worried about this because my favorite part of CJ's game now is his wine-drunk tweets that he puts out when he's watching other people play. He might have to curtail that if he's also representing those players.
True, true, true. Billy, your hot seat, cool throne.
My hot seat is vegan, so Impossible Burgers, a new study came out on them. Turns out that they might be seriously damaging to your kidneys

according to a study that was released.

But the funniest part is...

I love vegans. I feel bad for them.
That's terrible.

The funniest part is the part that

may be unhealthy was their fake

blood.

They put fake blood in it? Yeah, they make their burgers

fake bloody. Why?

What do they put in there? Why? It's like some

soy protein or something. This is how far people will go to just not eating a fucking burger.
Like, just eat the burger. And it might be harmful to your health.
Alright, vegans. You gotta figure this out.
I can't. Wait, so, Billy, what was your source on that? Because I saw an article about that, but it was coming from a group called gmoscience.org which only exists to say that all GMO products are bad.
No, but the study was not by that. They just found the study? They published a study.
Got it. They just commented on it.
We really need a better, like, fact check for studies. True.
Because you got a lot of studies. Where do you find all these studies, by the way? One time, you can tell Billy is kind of bullshitting something when he prefaces the fact with, it just came out that.
Yeah, and also tries to move to this cool throne while we're still on this. Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on. Time out.
Time out. Time out.
There are two key phrases. If Billy says, it just came out that, or they're now saying that.
Yeah. So where do you find your studies? This was deep in my bag of hot seats.
Going last. I had taunting, and I wrote it down.
I literally think Jake looked over it. But tell me where you found your studies.
I want to know where your studies are. Because I would like to also read the studies.
NCBLI.com. Billy's got a library of studies.

Okay, my real hot seat is the Alliance Football Club.

A new documentary is coming out.

Actually, Fire Fest is on the fire seat because it is now going to be not the worst disaster.

All right, so we're going to watch that and do a documentary review.

Promise.

Promise.

My cool throne is my quarterback bracket. Sam Ellinger has been taking reps with the first team offense.
As I say, Sam Ellinger was going to be better than Trevor Lawrence. So we're just one step closer.
That was a 12-1 upset, right? Exactly. Holy shit.
First seed. Also, he's a great quarterback now with these new taunting rules.
If anybody gives him horns down, boom, 15 yards. Billy, I love this.
I'm now rooting for Sam Ellinger just so your quarterback bracket was correct. Billy found a marked inefficiency.
My other cool throne is the Jets' defense. They're just doing amazing in training camp.
I saw that. Their secondary is awesome.
Just taking everything out of the air. It's going to be great to watch them play so well.
But they don't get to play against the Jets' offense every time. No, but that doesn't matter.
His defense is so good right now. It's so good.
Yeah, Robert Sala is such a great defensive coach. Exactly.
He's got them. They're going up against what many people said was the most talented quarterback in this draft.
Not Billy. Not Billy.
And they're just picking him off left and right. So that's incredible.
So they're amazing. And I'm rooting for them very hard.
Good job. By the way, just a reminder that just popped in my head.
We need to make sure that we bring Mario Party for Grit Week so we can play on the bus. So, Jake, can you be in charge of that? You got it.
Oh, also, as Peyton Manning taught us, Zach Wilson might just throw two perfect spirals. Yeah.
And that's why the defense is having such a good job catching him. Yeah, and if he throws 28 interceptions his rookie year, it's fine.
Okay, let's get to our interviews. Which one are we doing first? Let's do Gable.
Let's doable Steveson first. And then we have Damon John coming up after him.
Before we get to Gable Steveson, a quick word from our friends at BetterHelp. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp Online Therapy.
Life is full of stressors. It doesn't matter who you are or what you have.
Your life is probably stressful. It can be small stress.
It can be big stress. You're probably carrying it around.
You're thinking to yourself, oh, I just got to get through this week. How many times you said to yourself, I got to get through this week and then it'll be good.
I got to get through this week and it'll be good. No, there's probably some stress that you have deep down and maybe you're not feeling down and out and depressed or like you're at a total loss.
But if your stress is high, your temper is shorter than usual, or even if you're starting to feel strained in any of your relationships, you could probably use the chance to unload. So unload the stress and get it out.
Talk to someone who's completely unbiased about your life, someone who isn't going to judge you or take sides on anything. It helps to just talk.
So BetterHelp is customized online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. It's much more affordable than in-person therapy and you can start communicating with your therapist in under 48 hours.
Unload the stressors and get some unbiased feedback. You'd be pretty surprised at what you might gain from it.
See if it's for you. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash PMT.
That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash PMT. I actually, we saw a tweet from a listener a week ago who said that they use BetterHelp because they heard it on this podcast, and they've been feeling a lot better day to day.
So go to betterhelp.com slash PMT. You get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com slash PMT.
Okay, here he is. American hero, gold medalist, Gable Steveson.
Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. He is an American hero.
He is a gold medalist in the heavyweight division of wrestling. Coming straight.
He went from Japan to Minnesota last night. He is joining us.
It is Gable Stevenson. So, Gable, I got to start with my hand up.
I said that you have the perfect wrestling name to be in the wwe i didn't realize that you were named after dan gable the greatest wrestler of all time that's a lot of pressure was that a lot of pressure growing up that you were named after dan gable it'd be like naming uh uh like a kid like tom brady or peyton manning and being like all right go arch manning yeah just try it try to uh see see at football. Man, no, I'm really not much pressure.
You know what I'm saying? I am named after a legendary wrestler, but I just stick to what I do best, and that's win, and just go out there and put on a good show for the people. So, I mean, when I got to the Olympic Games, it was kind of like a fast forward of Dan Gable to me, and just for me to go out there and keep the gable namesake with olympic gold on it is uh something special it was awesome it was awesome it was an awesome match can so can you explain to we were trying to understand it we're not huge wrestling uh guys but the way that you won can you break it down how improbable it was and how like incredible to have a buzzer beater for the

olympic gold against the guy who i think correct me if i'm wrong has he's the defending champ right he was the defending three-time world champ earlier in that day i beat the early the day before i beat the defending olympic gold medals from 2016 and so i um that's probably like the equivalent to throwing a Hail Mary fourth quarter and a Super Bowl, I guess.

Yeah.

So. team and so I um that's probably like the equivalent to throwing a Hail Mary fourth quarter and a Super Bowl I guess yeah so I don't know I can't even describe how I did it but near impossible but impossible is never would you say is that the the biggest comeback that you've ever had in terms of how many points you needed to get in such a small amount of time oh yeah most definitely normally in matches I have not been down that much not been down that much, but, you know, I'm prepared for the worst.
And so when I went out there, I had a big lead, and then I got rolled up a couple times, and I was thinking in the back of my head, like, oh, I'm about to take silver. And I was like, cannot happen.
And so I looked at the clock, 13 seconds. I took him down one time, and the ref let us up, which is surprising because you're supposed to have, like, time on top.
and when he let us up I was like I got six seconds to pull off a miracle and I just kept spinning the corner and he gave it up and it's just it was crazy indescribable time it's hard to even like tell you the most and I feel about it I've heard that in situations like that um for like an elite athlete time almost slows down a little bit is that how you felt in those final six seconds like you were you were seeing things in slow-mo like thinking one step ahead of them or was it just like let's go out there and let's make something happen it was just like it was just pure heart like let's go out there make something happen it was just i was when i was spinning behind i kept i was like peeking at the clock on one of the sides on the corner of at the corner of my eye and as i got through it was just like damn i got behind him and I looked at the clock and it was like point two and I threw up the two because like from my points and I just like knew I won I ran over coach gave me a hug and it was just it was crazy and then afterwards the uh so it was a guy from Georgia the country they they basically protested it right they protested ited it. They ended up losing another point, so you're even better than that.
And then he, like, punched a wall while you're doing a backflip. That's an all-time moment, just through and through, like, an incredible, incredible moment.
Yeah, man, he was most definitely heartbroken. He went backstage, and he was throwing stuff.
He was punching every wall. He was just screaming.
But, I mean, that's how the game of wrestling is you he worked his whole life for to come to limit games and win and I worked my whole life to come to and I had to think of it as like it's like a it's like a do or die situation and that day I didn't want to die yeah what would what would you say is most improbable because as an American uh wrestling fan my my knowledge base is limited to what I saw you do and then remembering watching Rulon Gardner back when he was going against the Russian dude. And it was a Greco-Roman style, right? So, like, your win compared to his win, which one do you think is more impressive? I would have got to say, I mean, Rulon's got a crazy win against Corellon.
You know, Corellon was going for his fourth gold medal, and Rulon stopped him. But, I mean, in my sense, I think

freestyle, in a sense,

is a lot harder than

Greco, because you can

take shots on the legs. You can

get cheap points off

easy shots and stuff. And so, I think

we both had phenomenal wins. In my

sense, I'm going to just say

for me, yeah, I did a good job.

For him, he did a good job, but I mean,2 seconds left on the clock that's you can't beat that it's crazy yeah um all right so this next question is totally my question not from uh our good friend kb who wrestled at kent state but you have uh a crazy amount of like offensive weapons high crotches low singles ankle picks super ducks sweep singles

what would you say your your best offensive move is uh probably my best offensive move is a

snap down go behind i use it the whole time yeah just just hit the fake hit the shot

spin so you can't spin no more yeah and just just keep going tween do you have now as as like

to make it uh relatable to our listeners like i i would assume your friends when you get drunk

Thank you. just keep going.
Do you have, now, as like, to make it relatable to our listeners, like, I would assume your friends, when you get drunk, they sometimes be like, I'm just gonna take, I'm gonna see if I can get him down or something. Do you just body everyone? Like, even in a playful way? Like, no one, does, what was the last time one of your friends was like, I'm gonna try to sneak attack Gable and get him to the ground.
My homie, a couple weeks ago, a couple of my football friends, we were chilling at the crib one day. One of his homies came up and he was like, hey, I know I can beat you 15 seconds.
Let me try it out. And so he came through and I had to flip him up right quick.
He didn't want to rush me after that. But to this this day he still says he can be me in 15 seconds for some reason but normally um normally none of my homies ask to wrestle it's just like there's no point but like i when i do go out to places people will be drunk and stuff and i do let's wrestle one time please and i'm like no like not right here it's wrong time yeah it's it's one of those things yeah it's one of those things where you you know you everyone wrestled with their friends you know like roughhousing and then they're like if you ever are with a real wrestler it's so crazy how fast quick and like technically sound everyone is um so i i wouldn't fuck with you in that respect but i'm sure like like i said when when friends get drunk and they're like oh man i could take down No, you can't, but go ahead and try What about this? What if it was me

And Big Cat and Hank all at the same time?

So how much weight

Is that in total? Like I'm about 190 now

Yeah, it'd be like 500 maybe total

Like 500 pounds

The three of us all taking you on at once

Could you beat all of us?

I don't know, I saw that video of y'all wrestling on Instagram

I don't know who it was, but that was

You know what I'm saying, someone's gonna have to train y'all better than that

Oh shit, I don't know i saw that video y'all wrestling on instagram i don't know who it was without you know i'm saying someone someone's gonna have to train y'all better than that oh who is that i don't know i don't know is that billy when jose took a dive yeah yeah if that's a wrestling over there at the barstool headquarters then i might need to bring a trainer to y'all does it does it get annoying um do people like constantly say oh my god you're so incredible like when are you gonna play football all the time yeah and and what's the answer to that i mean you're it's like i'm doing pretty well with wrestling or is there some at some point you might consider playing football because i think when you watch you do a backflip afterwards you're like this guy you don't see anyone move like this maybe aaron don, like guys that big don't move like you move.

I mean, I've considered playing football for the – I talked to actually Coach Fleck of Gopher Football, and he wanted me to come out before I went to the Olympic Games to come play for a little bit. But I told him after the Olympic Games, I gave him an official decision.
So I'm considering playing football. I would hope one day that I can get a try with the NFL.
And, I mean, there's some teams that have came and have mentioned me to some agents

and stuff that have sparked interest in me.

So, I mean, it'll be cool to go out there and play football and be in the NFL for a little bit.

I mean, if it comes to come.

Yeah, that'll be okay.

If it doesn't, I got another route I can hopefully take,

and hopefully everything will play all right. So you're 6'1", 260 pounds.
Do you have to cut weight to get to 260? Or, like, how much weight could you put on, do you think, if you wanted to play football? I'd probably get up to 285 with the right meal plan, right lifting, maybe even probably 290. I mean, the highest I've been was 270, 275.
So I've been up there. I mean, I think I still keep the agility.
But with the right football training, they're training different than ours. So with their program, I might shoot up quick, but who knows.
What about your, like, lifting regimen? To put it into perspective, what do you, you know, squat? Do you bench? I don't even know if guys bench anymore. Like, what do you usually do in terms of, like, max weight on all the big lifts? I haven't maxed out in a long time last time i asked probably like a year ago but i was pushing five plus on squat deadlift um bench i was pushing about 375 this is about a year ago um what else is there you can max calf raises i mean that's pretty impressive you did that's pretty damn impressive i do i get a pretty substantial calf raise regiment going on right now what is it what's the what's the thousand club what what are the three deadlift bench and squat so you can almost get to the thousand club without you can eliminate one of the lifts and almost get to the thousand club hey i can eliminate bench and i'm already in a thousand what's it like just being uh for example in an airplane and looking around and just knowing like i could kill anybody on this plane with my bare hands like i am the champion of of every environment i'm in oh i don't i don't know i haven't really thought like that but it is it is crazy like sometimes it'll come to my mind like what if like a random person just came up to me and like try to like flex somebody to swing on me and so i mean that that is something to think about but i've never thought about like i'm like the like walking around i never have felt like i'm the the baddest man anywhere because you know i'm saying i like the i like to be a regular person so like when my time on a wrestling mat comes that's where i'm the baddest other than that like people would tell me outside of the outside of the mat they're like gable you're the legend you're you're like the baddest person on earth but when I go out places, I just – it's just a regular me.
Like I don't mention nothing about wrestling unless someone comes up to me. I hate even talking about wrestling outside of it.
Like I just like to – I like to chill. Like talk to me.
I would rather talk about like Warzone and other stuff than wrestling outside of the wrestling match. What do you think of the hacker issue in Warzone right now? It's like you can't even play the game anymore.
You can't because dudes are getting so good with the wall hacks and the aim bots and they got the controllers that are hitting every shot. And then keyboard players are too good.
Like look at Tifu. I see Tifu on TikTok about eight times a day hitting sky shots and 360s off the motorcycles.
And kids are just too good i play for fun i play just enjoying myself but there's some there's some really good dudes out there that i watch but the hacking is garbage it's hard to get rid of but activism got to do something about it do you play with uh controller controller yeah so i always feel like if you're using a keyboard and mouse like that's i've done it a couple times just to see what it's like, and the amount of aim adjustment that you can make, it's so much more accurate to play with a mouse. But I have more fun playing with a controller.
Controller, yeah. It's more easy to play with a controller.
Like, the mouse is, like, you see, like, the mouse, you can flick it real quick, you can hit the shots easier, and you can get your view to view is better. And if you've got to monitor your is all that is way better so those dudes those dudes are some crazy but if tfue if you see this i want to play one game with you you got my word oh there we go make it happen i agree though the video games should be played with controllers um i have a question about beef do you still have beef with aj ferrari no me aj ferrari have no beef um i mean i squashed out when i saw him in person at the national tournament, I squashed out the beef.
You know, I don't like – I don't really do all the internet talking no more. Back in the day, I used to, but now I don't need to do all the internet talking.
You know, it gives people clout that's undeserved and that's not worked for us. So when I come to show up for a wrestling match, I come to show up to dominate.
And I don't need to do all the internet talking. You feel my emotions on the mat, and you'll see me for six, seven minutes on a wrestling mat that I'm out of there.
So that must have felt good when you went up against Mason Paris because he called you out and said he was going to embarrass you in the Big Ten finals. And then you've beaten him every time you've wrestled him, right? Yeah, I mean, that was really like a heartfelt one because, I mean, I didn't wrestle him at a tournament.
All of a sudden it turned into I was dodging him. You know me.
Do I look like someone that would dodge someone like that? Most definitely. And so his time came where he got whooped on live TV.
He got made a fool of. And will I do it again? Most definitely.
It's not even that hard with him now. I love the attitude.
That's awesome. So let me get this.
Just going based off your natural ability to just to be like the baddest man in a room, which of these two names would you rather work for? A guy named Vince or a guy named Dana? Start the bidding war. Yeah, let's go.
Or a guy named Roger. Yeah.
Yeah got all the options yeah i got i got a lot of good options and uh it's i mean it is really crazy that i made it to this point you know like um i remember young trying to trying to get to this point you got to put a lot of work you got to put a lot of effort in and there's a lot of times you want to give up but like i said your life can change, just like mine did. And so it's just, I mean, three good dudes that I would like to work for.
Start the bidding where I'm here. Well, it's crazy, too, because wrestling, I would say, is probably the hardest sport in terms of commitment.
Like you guys, what wrestlers go through to get to that level is insane. Okay, last question, the Roback question.
Use code PFT on Roback.com for 20 off your first purchase r-h-o-b-a-c-k.com code pft they make the best performance poles and the only performance polos we wear you never had to cut weight because you're a heavyweight right nope never cut weight so that you you do get to pass by that part because i know that you have teammates that are like, that is straight insanity what they do to cut weight. It is straight insanity.
There's guys on the team that are doing 15 a week. And sometimes we'll have a duel.
We'll do a Friday-Sunday duel like Purdue versus Indiana because they're right next to each other. And guys got to make the first duel like 125 pounds in the next duel.
And then Saturday they'll probably get up to like 130, 133. And then Sunday morning you got to make it back to 125.
Whoa. It's crazy, yeah.
So do your teammates kind of hate you because you just can always eat whatever you want? I room with the people that got a little leeway. So I stay away from them little dudes.
You know, them little dudes, they be like 4'11 and getting cranky and stuff like little babies. They're psychos, yeah.
When you were a kid, when you were growing up and you first realized how good you were at wrestling, what was that like in terms of the competition? Because I have to imagine that you were probably, like if you're a young kid that's just getting started wrestling and you're dominant at it other kids parents like freak out a little bit like in football sometimes where they're like why is this kid able to kick everybody else's ass this is dangerous did you have any experiences like that where other parents were were afraid of letting their kids wrestle you oh yeah most definitely um there's probably many there's there's most definitely many times where i was um a lot more dominant a young age. And a lot of parents were scared to have their kids wrestle to me because I was really hard headed back then.
I just like I went out there to like physically like beat you up and push your head in the mat and make you look like a fool for a couple of minutes. But as I got older, I knew like I changed my I changed myself and I changed like I evolved to the game and I try to make myself as more presentable person and go out there and respect my opponents but at the same time I'm gonna show you respect but I have to dominate you for the time being and so it's just how the game goes you have to go out there and win like I said it's do or die I don't come I don't go to the wrestling at the die I come here to to live my next life and and to keep progressing so yeah for sure most definitely when I was younger, I was just a dickhead.
But now I just like doing what I do. Now you're a dickhead with a gold medal.
Yeah. So, yeah.
Well, last thing. So, you are a Barstool athlete.
So, the NIL, we have T-shirts that are on sale right now. Gable gets 80% of everything that we sell.
So if everyone wants to support Gable, they're sick t-shirts too. We have the comeback shirt, which shows how much you were down with six seconds left.
And then we have one that you're an American hero. We'll tweet them out when we post this show.
But congrats, man. It's awesome.
That was such an awesome like when you think of the olympics uh you know in in tokyo you definitely had one of the defining moments because it was such an unbelievable match most definitely it was um something special something i can't describe i um still haven't took the time to think about it but yeah most definitely everybody go grab your shirts yeah yep with my time on the show i thank you guys for letting me come on And. You know, I'll see you guys again.
Always. Yeah.
All right. Thanks, Gable.
Appreciate it, man. Good to meet you.
Thank you. See you later.
That interview was brought to you by a great friends over at TickPick. If you guys don't know about TickPick yet, you should learn now.
TickPick is the original no fee ticket site that guarantees the best prices on sports and concert tickets. Guess what's back? Concerts.
Guess what's back? Attending live sporting events. Why pay more on other ticket sites for the same seats that you'd find on TickPick at better prices? I bought my tickets for Limp Bizkit on TickPick, but you know what? Show got canceled.
That's a bummer, but I still went to TickPick. Got the best rate there.
Games and concerts are back, and TickPick, no, not DickPick. It's TickPick with a T.
Needs to be your go-to for tickets for live events, and TickPick actually invented NFTs, they say, when they were the first site to offer no-fee tickets. It's great being able to buy a ticket to a live event, not have to worry about them tacking on that live fee right before you click checkout and the price goes up.
Not with TickPick. People accept the bullshit service fees on tickets that sites charge, but TickPick's whole business model eliminate them.
They guarantee the best prices on live ticket events. If you don't believe it, well, if you can find better prices for the same seats on another ticket site, TickPick is going to give you 110% of the difference in purchase price.
Download the TickPick app today for the easiest way to save money on sports and concert tickets. Guess what? We're going to give you $10 off your first order, too.
All you have to do, go to TickPick.com slash TAKE. Use promo code TAKE10 today.
When you check out, use promo code TAKETEN.

Get $10 off your first order on live event tickets.

Don't forget, download that app.

Use promo code TAKETEN for $10 off.

Maybe go to an NFL preseason game this week.

Get $10 off.

Football is back.

And now for something completely different.

Okay, we now welcome on one of our good friends, recurring guest.

I think it's third time?

Third time.

Third time.

It's Damon John.

He is back in studio.

In studio live.

He's got... Oh, we got to fix something.

Some issues?

We'll just run through it, yeah.

Oh, okay.

Here we go.

And boom.

We're going to not cut any of this.

I love this.

All right.

That's how we operate. Probably not the same as the Shark Tank set.
No, we cut a lot out there. Really? Yeah.
Think about it. The pictures are an hour long.
You only see eight minutes. Is there any time someone, and we're going to get to your Audible original, but this just started my brain going, is there any time that someone comes on and you have to cut it because they just bombed so bad? No, no the bombing is not a problem but I think we see about 140 people and you end up only seeing 90 okay but no one's ever like puked on themselves or anything people have fainted how does this person puke you just get so nervous lunch comes up but it's not like what they're pitching to you isn't like an alcohol related product.
No, they just get so scared. No, they're just alcoholics.
Yeah, right. Before they get there.
Right. Jesus.
Shows that their product works. Yeah.
Yeah, there it is. Yeah.
So they cut out, like you said, you get to see eight minutes of the pitch, but it's an hour long pitch. That to me seems really boring having to through somebody and talk about their company for a full hour.
Yeah, but more importantly, the most boring part is generally Lori or Barbara giving great advice before they say they're out, and their advice is 10 minutes, and they're not writing a check. Yeah.
And I usually tell them, all right, so what are you going to do? Yeah. Because that's the worst thing.
When somebody's going to tell you no and they give you a bunch of advice.

Here's why, yeah.

So you need to do this, you need to do this.

They always say, the theory is when you ask for advice, you get money.

When you ask for money, you get advice.

Yeah, or when Barbara just starts hitting on them and won't stop for like 25 minutes.

Well, that's true, but Barbara also will at least dig into them.

She'll tell them exactly why she doesn't like them.

If she thinks they have gingivitis, she's going to say it. All right.
So what's advice you should give us? I'm not giving you any money. I thought I had a bit.
I knew once I just said that that I was in trouble. So wait, is that because you don't have any money? Hard times? I don't have any money.
Do we need to do a round of fundraising? Yes, we can. Are you one of those rich guys that got richer? Because I that you know over here i was told that you did some great stuff giving away money to a lot of people in need yeah um i know that i was called to say bring awareness to for different sectors that didn't think they can get the money yeah but i could take money as well yeah that's true what are your thoughts on jeff bezos should we put him to the guillotine why i don't know He's too rich.
Something just happened? That's just what I see on Twitter. He's too rich.
How can he be too rich? I mean, he's too rich, man. He's playing just the tip with space.
I think he's too rich. I think he's gotten there.
Just the tip? Yeah, he didn't go in. I don't think he could be too rich.
You don't think so? I was looking at Rockefeller's worth the other day, and they said if he was alive today, it would be $400 billion. That's a lot.
Ford was $200 billion. Carnegie was around $400 billion.
What if one dude just gets all the money? What happens then? He wins the game. Monopoly.
Is that too rich? No. If one person had all the money in the world, how would you try to talk him into giving you some of it? That's a good question.
Or would you just kill him? Ask for advice. I would ask him for advice.
Like, how could I get some of your money? How can I stop you from being so hated? Yes. Well, that was actually going to be one of my Shark Tank pitches to you, is just a space shuttle service that only takes billionaires, like, pretty high up in the atmosphere but not really to space.
And then all the windows play videos where it looks like they're in outer space. And then you land them, and they have no idea they didn't go to space.
I don't even think you have to go to space. That's what I'm saying.
It takes you up in the air. No, I don't think you have to go up in the air.
The videos just turn on while you're in the rocket. G-Force inside of a studio.
Basically a roller coaster in a studio. And the billionaires think that they just went to outer space.
And then you let them off and everybody pretends to clap for them. Wow, you're so brave.
I actually like that. Yeah, we run it on CNN and everything.
We get them in on it. Well, how are we going to run it on CNN? Oh, we're just going to buy time.
Yeah, yeah, right. They want the whole effect.
You know, Bezos isn't doing it just to be in an astronaut suit. He wants everyone talking about it.
But you wouldn't win a CNN. You'd buy infomercial spots, and you would act like it's real news.
Yes. You wouldn't have to compromise CNN.
Yes. Oh, yeah.
We wouldn't want to do that. Chris Cuomo.
All right. So let's go a little something.
Some of that stuff is in my Audible original series, Founding FUBU. Yeah.
Let me introduce this. So it's Founding FUB FUBU it's a new audible original that goes back to how FUBU got started so you're going back to the 90's you're throwing it back you're talking about being a self made guy who started from nothing to where you are today so can you give us maybe a good story from that climb because Because that's really what it's all about, right? There's got to be a little part of you in doing this project that gets reminiscent, nostalgic of the grind.
Because once you get there, it's fun, but it's not as fun as that everyday, all-encompassing creative energy. Oh, no, there's so much stuff in there about that so now being that it's an audible original there is no book there is no book that exists purely was here neither am i i'm dyslexic right now the the founding fubu story is not about necessarily it's about the good time but it's also about the bad times you know it's about almost getting knocked out by Mike Tyson because I addressed Lennox Lewis and Mike Tyson at a party basically said, I'm going to knock you out and poke me in the chest.
And we ended up being on a flight one time, probably about four years later, and he fell asleep next to me. He didn't realize it was me.
And I spent about five hours trying to find a way to spit in his drink without him waking up and knocking my teeth out. Or the first thing I bought is somebody who has a little bit of money.
I thought it was the greatest thing ever. I bought the Lexus 360 or 380, whatever it is.
But the most important part is I bought the 80-disc CD changer. Yeah.
And I sat out front of Macy's with the trunk open to make sure everybody realized that I had 80 discs at any time I could play. But it was also coming up in the business.
I came up on tour. I was a young kid on the tours with the first World Rap Tour.
And it was three of my friends. It was me, Hype Williams, and Irv Gotti from Murder, Inc.
Hype Williams, the video director, and another friend of mine who they made the movie Belly about. But the way that I ended up creating FUBU was going on those tours with Big Daddy Kane, LL Cool J, the Fat Boys, and Eric B and Rakim, and Houdini, and Run DMC, and seeing that I wanted to make the uniform for these rappers and the kids because nobody else was doing that.
And I couldn't rap.

And I could dance a little.

Actually, Houdini had wanted me to dance and go on tour with them. But I was 15 years old.
My mother said she wouldn't let me go on a full-fledged tour. So some kid I didn't know at the time named Jermaine Dupri took my position out of Atlanta.
So I talk about all those stories and turning my turning my house into a factory going bankrupt almost three times sleeping next to sewing machines and all the good stuff and all the bad stuff yeah but that that like what you just described is there are you do you find yourself kind of chasing something like that now because i think we've you know anyone who's had any type of success, they'll tell you that that, like that feeling of I'm onto something new and it's all I can think about. Yeah.
There's nothing like it. Yeah.
I don't chase that now because I was smart enough to realize that I can't necessarily have all the ideas. And if I invest in younger, smarter talent that is obsessed and they know where they're going, that I can hedge my bets by investing in 50 or 20 people like that, that are obsessed.
Every day they wake up, they don't care about who else is in their life, whatever the case is. They just work 24 hours a day and they're going to leave it all in the field.
And that's how I live. So, I mean, that's fascinating.
What age did you find that you were like, I no longer have the ability to have that grind? Was it an age or was it maybe a net worth where you're like, okay, now I can do, I'm going to transition to something else. No, I was about 35.
FUBU was already super hot, but I realized I can grow FUBU. I could try to grow FUBU, you know, but the industry is changing.
But why don't I take some money simultaneously? And let me, let me know what can I really do? What is my skillset? Was it designing clothes? No, putting a big old five and a splashing of FUBU and a bunch of jerseys is not a designer. I was a great marketer and I had manufacturing and I had distribution and I knew celebrities and I knew the stores.
So why don't I just acquire a bunch of other brands that I can put into that pipeline and now divide FUBU up 10, 15 ways. And when you go into a store at that time, obviously retail is big.
I just don't take up real estate in the young men's department. I take up real estate in the bedding department, the fragrance department, the electronics department, because I find different fooboos of their segment, whatever that is, in different departments.
And that's how you scale, by being able to replicate yourself 10 times, 100 times. So when you have somebody younger that you're investing in, how do you manage to have that same passion about their ideas that you had about your own ideas? That must be difficult to do, to believe in somebody else so much that you're willing to throw all of your power and all of your energy into something they have in their head.
I generally don't throw all of it in. That's why, Because I need to see that they are great executors.
All of us have ideas. So if you ever hear me talk about FUBU, I don't say FUBU was the greatest product.
I talk about what I did to make it appealing to people. And when you see young talent, like a lot of the people who are listening to us and listen to you all the time, they know their market or they're trying to find a way to convey to their market

what they have that's of value.

And if you see that they're obsessed with who they're talking about and they know their

customer and they're like, this is who my guy or who my girl is, you got to just bet

on that person.

You got to bet that they're going to win.

And even when they fail, they don't get discouraged.

They don't go, I thought I had a good idea.

They go, no, no, no, I didn't figure it out yet out yet but i'm telling you i'm telling you this is going to work so uh the times that you found yourself like on the ropes bankrupt or you know close to it what like i guess let me actually phrase it this way a lot of successful people they get to a point of, and they kind of forget the luck that they had along the way. How much luck did you have? Because I know myself personally, there's a ton of luck.
Like right place, right time kind of stuff that you can't replicate. I had a ton of luck.
I believe there's a mixture of you prepared for it because if you felt like you had a ton of luck, you also had a bunch of doors slammed in your face and you realize that that was just not a journey that you were willing to go down or they weren't ready for you or you didn't present it to them the right way. Or you may have been too early or you may have been too late.
But absolutely, it is all about luck. Yeah.
It's about luck but preparation at the same time. Yeah, because I always find when you talk to successful people, there are certain types of people who have success, and then they think that in retrospect, they had all the answers.
It's like no one has all the answers. There's a lot of times where anyone who had any type of success, they had a lucky break.
They had something go their way when it could have gone another way, that writes your history if everybody had just all the answers then michael jackson and prince was still looking for hit songs by the time when they were dying or cuban you know he hit a great big oil well but you know recently he doesn't have a large company you may know of right or or the lotto winners are bankrupt three years after winning the lotto, and 65% of athletes are bankrupt three years after leaving the league. That had nothing to do with how skilled they were.
You weren't able to be prepared for the next thing coming down the pipe. So who was the biggest rival of FUBU when it was still in that very much upward trajectory, kind of new startup type environment where you were just starting to touch a nerve in the culture in America, was there a rival that you had to look at and say, I'm going to beat this guy? No, not really, because everybody was rival and nobody was, because we were the first to make sports jerseys for fashion.
So was Nike a rival? Yeah, but Nike was Nike. We were kind of chiseling away at a little bit of their piece.
I mean, we did $6 billion over several years. Nike does $30 billion a year.
So, you know, but as we got up, some of my friends became some of my rivals, Sean John and Rock Aware, and they became some of my rivals chipping away at me. And that's the cycle generally to fashion.

A hot fashion brand lasts about five to seven years.

There's the unicorns like Nike and Louis Vuitton, but you'll notice whether it's Benetton or Levi's.

When I came in the market, Levi's was doing $18 billion.

I think they're doing $3 billion now.

Yeah, JNCOs ate their lunch.

Exactly.

Are we bringing JNCOs back?

You're the person I should ask. Oh, I'm not.
What can we do to bring JNCOs ate their lunch. Exactly.
Are we bringing JNCOs back? You're the person I should ask.

Oh, I'm not. What can we do to bring

JNCOs back in America right now?

I have no idea.

I haven't even thought of

JNCO. Have you ever put on a pair of JNCOs?

Those are the ones with the big bell

bottom like that. The giant legs, the ones that

you could fit two Russian men inside.

Approximately. Why would they be

Russian? Approximately. Why would they be Russian?

They are well known for splitting a pair of jeans.

It's cultural.

Okay, so you tell me, if it's not JNCOs, what's the next fashion trend in America right now?

I have no idea.

Hmm.

So.

Cap Kanye line?

I have no idea.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Is there anything in particular that you're invested in that you think might start doing well? Well, fashion-wise, clothing or... I mean, my Bomba socks guys are doing amazing.
Ooh, okay. Those are good socks.
Great socks. So coming up in the 90s with FUBU, if you had to do it again today, your 20-year-old Damon

John, do you think it still works or do you think it's like a totally different landscape

and people just don't have the attention span or whatever it may be?

Oh, this would be, I would, it would be 10 times bigger.

Really?

Yeah.

Remember, I didn't, the internet didn't even exist.

Right.

Social media didn't exist. So I had to physically walk up and get into people's face to buy, to sell them something.
I also, you know, FUBU, thank God, has become a brand that, or a saying that's more pop culture is bigger than the brand. Yeah.
Everybody who does whatever it is, that's FUBU. But I think today what I would do is, I would probably have two representatives, a guy and a girl in each high school and a guy and a girl in each college.
And they would probably get, and I would credit them, they would get probably $1,000 or $1,500 worth of FUBU for $500. And they'd be able to not only have the brand themselves, but they would be able to sell it and make money.
And I think that that would be another form of FUBU because you would have all these representatives. So they would pick what they want to buy from the line.
They'd get it for $500. That would be a wholesale cost.
And it would be worth $1,500 so they can sell some of it, pay for what they want, and then make a profit off of it. And I think I'd probably do that in every high school and every college.
Do you think that that might be where advertising is going to go for a certain extent? Because if you look at how to sell to kids or how to make trends popular in a high school or middle school environment, who do they look up to? Well, they look up to athletes or musicians, or they might look up to certain business people depending on who the individual is and what your market is. But they also look up to who the two most popular kids in their class are, right? So if you can just make the most popular kid in their class wear your brand, chances are the rest of the school is going to follow suit to a certain extent.
I absolutely believe that. You become the thing that you see most of the time or you admire most of the time.
That's what you want to be. So do you think that that would be a way that you could tap into those markets? It's just like identify who you think has the right hustle in the high school or whatever and set them up with some FUBU and they naturally become marketers for your brand.
Well, you got to let them apply. You can't look for them.
You got to let them apply and say, why are you the hottest person in the school why should

you have this ability to get a credit line and this ability to sell clothes and make money and we'll also highlight all the top people on our site and highlight why you are the next fubu coming up okay uh i'm sure you get to this in your audible original but like what was the moment that you said to yourself, like, all right, it happened? Everything I set out to do has happened. Well, that happened early.
That happened when I got the 80 CD changed. That was all you were looking for.
That was it, right? I topped out right there. Did you retire for a couple weeks and just be like, I get to burn through all this time here? Yeah, no, I did retire at one point for about eight months and i just got so bored really what age was that i was around 36 you're just like i'm done and then you i was like i i can retire because i was in between you know fubu slowing down and my other brands kooji and all other brands picking up and i was like i'm gonna take some time off i think i to retire.
And it was the most boring time I've ever had in my life. Really? Did you pick up any new activities or hobbies? I was fishing a bunch.
I was fishing a bunch. I was traveling a bunch.
But listen, after you work so hard, you can't stop thinking. So it's almost like when you have a long vacation, you go, I can't wait to get back to work.
Yeah. So try that so try that vacation for eight months huh you know when you come back to work with a whole bunch of new ideas but then i realized that you have to be able to a friend of mine just actually texted me he said did you ever get to the point where you just want to take off and enjoy you know all your hard work your fruit your labor you know your fruits of labor and i said yeah but then you get to a point well why can't i do them? It'll just take a little bit longer, but why can't I time going out fishing or traveling the world as well as working, as well as doing charitable work at the same time? Well, that's like the final boss mode is like you make your own schedule.
Right, and you're there. Well, you know, a lot of people think you can make your own schedule pretty hard.
I have a five-year-old. Yeah, that doesn't jive with it.
Yeah, yeah. No, I agree there.
And I got a wife. But you don't have to.
If you're like, I don't want to go into the office today, you don't have to. True.
Yeah, that's pretty nice. 100%.
How often do you just open up your mobile banking account and just look at your balance and then be like, cool, and put it away. Never.
Never. I would do that all the time.
You would? Probably. You'd start stressing.
No. If you're an A-type personality, you're going to say, why is it so small, no matter how small it is, no matter how big it is.
No money, more problems. Right? You're going to say, well, should I be trying to make more? Uh-huh.
Or how do I make this work for me instead of me working for it? I mean, that's a good question. How should my money be working harder for me right now? Because I feel like my money is like Hank.
It's just on vacation constantly. It is.
Hank's right there. Hank's right there.
Yeah. Well, you should invest in it.
Listen, I got a bunch of really great billionaires that are working for me. I got Steve Jobs working for me.
I got Elon Musk working for me. I don't have to do anything.
Talk about stocks, baby. Are stocks going up or are we doing Dogecoin? Those are the only two options.
Real estate. They're not making more land.
They're not making more land. Well, they are.
That's what everyone loves to do. You checked out Earth 2 yet? No.
Where's that? Earth 2 is... So if you guys like all this crypto stuff, Earth 2 is...
I know everybody's going to start looking at Earth 2. You can start buying tiles on Earth 2.
Some of the video guys here got some Earth 2. That sounds like a scam.
What do you mean? That's an NFT of a fake Earth? Well, is it an NFT of Earth? No, it's not an NFT of Earth. It makes no sense.
They're just selling Earth. But I'm very interested now.
It's like you're buying Google Maps. You know when you just Google Map and randomly go somewhere? Yeah.
You can then buy that. I own that.
You buy Beverly Hills. On Earth, too? What do you make of the whole NFT crypto? I think, obviously, Bitcoin is real.
Yeah. Because enough people believe in it, it becomes it becomes real right but a lot of these things that are happening like everyone just trying to get rich quick it feels like it's not a coincidence it's happened after the pandemic people are trying to find shortcuts and people are going to lose their money a lot of people are going to lose their money you know buffett says it best you, the market takes away from the impatient and gives to the patient.
The biggest problem with trading anything is now we have too much access, right? So we have our TD Ameritrade or whatever, Robinhoods. Fuck Robinhood.
We have our crypto availability. If you buy something on one of those, the real way you're going to make money is to hold it for 20 years if it's of value.
But if you buy it, you naturally look at your account and you go back and go, oh, I'm Gordon Gekko. I just made $200.
You're right. Let me do a trade.
And you keep trading and keep trading and keep trading. So you make incremental money and sometimes you lose it when the market goes down.
And that's the biggest part. It takes away your discipline.
You have to have discipline to see these things mature, just like in real estate. Now, of course, if you're playing the flip it game in real estate, that's a whole different strategy.
But long holds and things like that, that's where you make the real money. Yeah.
I've been hearing a lot recently that buying real estate or buying homes is not really the way to go in certain circumstances, especially like, obviously, if we're living in Manhattan, you have to plan on being here for 10 years if you want to make it worthwhile to purchase a home as opposed to renting. But I've been hearing that rental markets across the country are going to continue to go up for the next five, 10 years.
Is that what you've heard? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, but if you buy it sharply, yeah, because unfortunately, the separation of wealth is the gap is getting bigger, right? And when people don't have, well, you know, a lot of intelligence where it comes to, you know, digitally and things of that nature, they're not going to make as much much money they're going to need to rent you know um and uh that's what happened but also you got the airbnb markets coming out that are really doing well because people no longer have to be stuck in office all day or they may want to work outside of the office so yeah rental is doing really well yeah i'm not a big real estate guy though so um okay let's do our...
Do you have ideas that you want to throw?

I've got a couple.

I have one.

So you go ahead.

Okay, a store that sells shirts that have super complicated patterns.

I'm talking the craziest designs that you can find on a dress shirt.

Button-up shirts, party shirts, kind of.

But think about a very complicated shirt that you've seen recently,

and then triple how complicated the design is. It's called Dan Flashes.
Why is it called Dan Flashes? It's just a cool name. Daniel Ricciardo.
That's right. No.
No, it's called Dan Flashes. It's called Dan Flashes.
Total coincidence. Total coincidence.
Yeah, is the shirt sewn very complicated, or just designed? The patterns are the most complicated thing that you've ever seen. They have one shirt that costs $3,000.
Yeah. So average price point on the shirt is $1,500, let's say.
So just basically you make the most complicated designs possible and people pay more money for them. And why are they paying more money? Because the designs are so complicated.
It's actually not a bad idea.

Yeah.

But how are you going to market it?

Like an F1 driver or something?

I'm thinking that we should get somebody that has a Netflix show to do a sketch comedy routine about it.

Are you going to make them a partner in the business?

Or how much money are you going to use to start this thing up?

I would do it without their knowledge of it.

And then I would try to get publicity about

doing it by recording it on a podcast with one of the sharks, hypothetically.

But how is the person going to promote it without their knowledge?

Are they wearing it?

Because the show is already out.

It's already been put out.

So you're going to just CG maybe the shirt on the person?

I know.

I'm just stealing their idea that they came up with in a super popular Netflix show that

they don't have trademarked.

Oh, so that's out already now. Yeah.
I'm trying to make a hypothetical shirt into a reality. Oh, okay.
Can I do that? Can you steal that idea? Yeah, if they don't have a trademark. You can steal anything you want.
Okay, that's what I want to do. Why don't we steal ideas from China? Like, they steal all of our patents? Can we do the back? Like, you know.
I'm sure we do. We should do that.

This is better at it.

We should start doing that.

We should start sealing all of them.

My idea was simply

that I just wish

there was an app

to tell you

where the ice cream truck was.

Pretty simple.

That's good.

Yeah.

Like, you just always like,

I'd like to, you know,

know where the ice cream truck is.

What if you're in, like,

Oklahoma or something like that?

There's got to be a couple...

You're saying there's

an ice cream truck?

No, I'm just saying

they're 300 miles away.

I would like to at least

Thank you. The truck is also better.
Yeah, so you can Uber the truck. No, you go to the truck still.
Yeah, but what about... So it's kind of where it's a deconstructed ice cream truck.
I understand what you're saying. It's always nice to know where the truck is also for safety reasons so you don't get hit by one.
But if you had like an Uber for ice cream truck where enough people in a certain location hit the button, the drivers got it in their hands and they know where their customers are. I'm so like I love ice cream so much I just would go to the truck instead of having the truck come to me.
But we can do that idea, too. Search.
Search. Search all the time so you know that you won't get hit by it? Yeah.
Every time I cross the street, I check. And you know what? Because the one time you don't check, he doesn't have his chime going and he runs over your head.
How about an app? If you think that you were someplace and you think you said the stupidest shit ever, that you go to an app where there's freelancers that can tell you shit that's even more stupid than what you thought you said. Oh, I like that.
I like that. Or how much...
So you passing on that idea, you're saying a freelancer would be like, hey, Damon, that was stupid for you to fucking pass on that. Well, you're actually talking about Twitter, the app where people are telling how dumb you are.
Do you realize how dumb you are? Yeah, we just made a shitload of money. Okay, all right.
How about this one? You build Titanic 2. Can they do that? No, the exact same dimensions as the original one.
Was there someone who was going to do that? It's a great idea, and I've been pushing for this for a while. I think I pitched it maybe.
I might have pitched it to Barbara. That's right.
And she was very interested, by the way. We're in negotiations, but I want to give you exclusive rights to her.
Oh, lucky me. Yeah, so it's Titanic 2, same dimensions, same route, and it says...
Same route? Yep, same route. Well, there's no icebergs anymore.
Yes. Good point.
There's less icebergs. Still says on the bottom, even God could not sink this ship, and this is underlined three times, and there's not enough lifeboats.
I guarantee people would buy tickets. I would.
But that's the important part. There's not enough lifeboats.
It has to be exactly the same. We have not learned shit about maritime safety in over 100 years.
Let's run it back. But is the boat with different engines or the same exact boat? Same.
Yeah, coal, everything. It's weird enough where people will actually do it.
Yeah, they would. They would say, I'm going to take a trip back in history.
Same exact way. And there's not enough light boats.
That's the important part, right? Yeah, the danger.

Honestly, the only reason I want to invent this is so I can buy the ticket to get on.

I think it'd be the best roller coaster ever.

Why don't you just buy a ticket to a regular little boat and just go now? Not the same.

It's not the same.

Titanic.

Why?

Titanic 2.

Did you hear him?

Yeah.

Yeah, I heard him.

I don't think you did.

The history.

You just sent another boat.

Clearly, you're not listening.

This is going to be another boat anyway.

This Titanic 2 is another boat.

I'm going to be another boat anyway. This Titanic 2 is another boat.
It's not the same Titanic. No, go get the boat from the bottom of the ocean.
And melt it. I didn't think of that.
I didn't think of getting the boat from the boat. The same thing that they've been trying to erect for the last 40, 50 years? That's it? You're going to get it now? Yep, going to get it.
Next one I have is, oh, it's, we haven't had a good talking dog movie in a while. That was hot back in the 90s.
We had talking dog movies recently. Have we? Yeah.
Oh, I guess maybe I'm just not seeing them. Clifford is coming back out, but does he talk? I don't think he talks.
I don't think he talks. He's just a big ass dog.
Okay. Well well, instead of that, how about Zig when everyone else is zagging, and we'll do Air Bud, but it's with one human in a dog basketball league.
And the human's Michael Jordan, and the dogs are Looney Tunes. Thoughts? I have absolutely no thoughts for that.
Okay, all right.

That's fine.

You can just say no thoughts.

Let's see.

Ice golf.

How long did it take you to come up with these?

Less time than it does for me to say them out loud.

All right.

Wait, ice golf is the barber one, right?

Which one? What did you say?

Ice golf.

Let me ask them.

If I like one of them, you want to hit that bench for me real quick or no? Yeah. Well, you don't have any weights on it.
That's fine. Even better.
No. How much? You want me to do reps? No.
What if we made a gym of all fake weights just for Instagram? I like that. Okay.
I actually like that one. Right.
Make everyone look like they're fucking jacked. I like that one.
Okay. So put that one down.
But wouldn't the people who look like they're really doing work, wouldn't they already be worked out because they were at real gyms? But you don't have to look strong, you just have to be lifting the fake weights, the hollow weights. But wouldn't you be looking...
If you look like you're weak and you're lifting them, it doesn't give you any credit, so wouldn't you kind of want to see... No, but you look like you're strong.
You can't look weak lifting 700 pounds. You'll notice the muscles are not bulging or whatever.
I think you'd be looking at the 700 pounds. I think you could wear long-sleeved shirts and sweatpants if you wanted to.
Ponchos? Everybody wears ponchos in the gym. Yeah.
Yeah, exactly. Just cover yourself up.
Poncho only. And then the other one that we had is actually a great idea.
I think it's an app that tells you what the percentage of male to female ratio is at a bar when you're out on the town with your buddies. And you just hit the thing.
It tells you what kind of scene it is there. They have pictures that they upload.
Is it for heterosexuals or whoever anyone can use it so you just want if you can't if you're in a bar that you can't tell the difference between the males and females then you're in a very specific type of bar where you don't want to tell that difference that's true you could also market it like that too you know just like drop a pin and what was the name we had a terrible name for it it was an awful name i think it was like prestige no it was like uh worldwide you forgot worldwide but we could change awful name. I think it was like Prestige.
Yeah, no, it was like... Worldwide.
You forgot worldwide. Yeah, yeah.
Prestige worldwide. But we could change the name.
I think it's just Ratio would be a good name for it. Yeah.
Yeah, Ratio works. Sausage Party.
Ratio works, but why wouldn't you be able to tell the difference between the males and females? What do you mean? Or women and men in the bar? No, before you go. Oh, before you go.
When you're outside. Yeah, yeah.
Or let's just say we're right here. We're outside the part of my take studio, and we're thinking about going, I don't know, somewhere like Lower East Side.
How about someone coming into the... No, someone's walking in the hallway right now, and they're thinking about coming into the part of my take studio, and they're like, oh, it's just fucking six dudes.

No thanks.

So you can check before you even decide to get into a cab and go there.

Yeah.

You know, not a bad idea, but how are you going to know?

Are you going to get a reading when who's there?

Is that a voluntary reading?

Yeah, other users are there.

That's Big Brother.

It's a community.

NSA.

We need the NSA to help us.

We could either do NSA work, or we could have the community of users that are there.

You opt in.

Yeah, and then you just put like 60%, 40%. Yeah.
Have you thought about creating an app where you just opt in and then we can just steal everything from the people? Because no one reads the opt in, right? That is true. Right.
So you just, in the opt in, it says we can steal everything from you. Something to think about right there yeah you guys think about a lot of counterfeiting stealing from people yeah shortcuts yeah yeah big on short yeah you're big on shortcuts yeah uh yeah so you wanted to steal something from netflix people you want to steal something from china from everyone as well something now from everyone yeah uh how about a service where people who are very wealthy contact you just to do their dirty work on the side like henchmen for hire yeah i feel like henchmen should like that's us yeah essentially contract killers yeah hank just gave us all right well we've got a lot hank gave us you got a lot too how about how about an app where immediately when you say this some attorney advises you on how many years you will get in jail for each one of these concepts.

I like that.

Three to five.

This idea is seven to ten.

This idea is the chair.

I actually think that so far our two best ideas are the hollow weights, Titanic 2.

I like the hollow weights. I think Titanic 2 is a horrible idea.

I think people would buy it.

It's not for everybody.

You'll be wrong on that one, Mr.

I don't know. Titanic 2.
I like the hollow weights. I think Titanic 2 is a horrible idea.
I think people would buy it. It's not for everybody.
You'll be wrong on that one, Mr. Rich Guy.
Honestly, if I was extremely wealthy, I probably would not want to get onto a ship that was likely going to kill me either. But no, you'd probably get a lifeboat.
Yep, that's true. Yep.
Yeah, that's true. Women and children first.
Yeah. You'd be one of those rich guys.
I'm more important than that. Who would put their women and children on that boat knowing that it's going...
Oh, it's part of... Real men? Yeah.
Right. They get it.
Not cowards like you. All right, so your Audible book is out, right? It is Audible original, yeah.
No book exists. Don't use the B word.
It's for guys like us. No book exists.
Yep. So go go check it out yeah and uh always great to have you in studio i have fun with you guys all the time it is fascinating i i go home and it just haunts me think about it next time you are about 24 hours you're gonna think like yeah it's kind of like ripping the scab or you know you just look keep looking at that that it's probably also life-affirming to be like i'm i'm doing okay if these fucking idiots are successful it's good seeing you guys yeah all right you got that interview was brought to you by our great friends over at mattress firm unjunk that sleep people unjunk the sleep america has a problem everyone's exhausted and out of it because they're not sleeping in a bed that's right for them.
The sleep they are getting sucks. This problem has a name.
It's called junk sleep. If you stay up too late, if you work in bed before going to sleep, if you're watching TV in bed before you go to sleep, if you use your phone, tablet in bed when trying to go to sleep, if you're not taking the time to unwind from the day and prepare for bed, you are getting junk sleep.
That can all be solved by talking to a Mattress Firm sleep expert. The sleep experts at Mattress Firm are going to match you with the best mattresses and sleep products out there based on your specific sleep preferences so you can get your best sleep possible.
We're excited to be partnering with them for this year's Grit Week. We're helping to spread the word on how to un-junk that sleep.
Un-junk your sleep. Go to mattressfirm.com or visit a Mattress Firm store today and speak with a sleep expert.
Okay, we're going to wrap up. We've got Mount Rushmore.
I guess the question is, how are we doing as a group? I'm doing great. Yeah, well, let's do a quick poll around the room.
Billy, how are you doing? Billy? I'm actually a little heated. Oh.
Do tell. I think Jake stole my hot seat.
Okay. All right.
Your fire seat. Your fire seat.
Billy, I took a screenshot. 6.16 p.m., the last edit I made on this note.
Oh, wow. That's when you open the notes.
Jake with receipts.

Yep.

He just pulled the receipts on you.

He just pulled the receipt on you. Nope.

Just made an edit and went to 8.07.

Oh!

All right, so Jake, how are you doing?

I'm great.

PFT, you're doing well?

Yeah, really good.

I am as well.

Bubba, how are you doing?

Great.

Okay, and then Hank?

I'm good.

I mean, I've been better. No, you're good.
Are you good? All I'll say is I've moved on, positive vibes only. Okay.
Will you be participating? It's up to you. You guys are my boss.
Whatever you say goes. I'm a man of my word, like I said.
So it's up to you. Whatever you guys want me to do, I'll do.
Nothing would make me happier than if you participated in this Mount Rushmore.

Actually, the only thing that would make me happier is if Hank is happy.

So whatever makes you happy, you should do.

What makes me happy is making my boss happy.

So whatever you guys want me to do, then you do.

And I just want to say, lastly, whether or not Liam made my picks or not,

you guys throwing them at Mount Rushmore is bullshit in my opinion. But that's my opinion, and I moved on from it.
Okay. So you're happy now? If you're happy, then I'm happy.
But I'm only happy when you're happy. No, but Big Cat, we already said that we're doing really good.
The only thing that makes me happy is making you happy. He's not making me happy.
I'm just happy. But I think he is happy because we said that we were happy.
But he's got to make me happy to be happy. But I'm not.
I'm happy independent of Hank. We said we were happy before Hank said that waiting for us to be happy makes him happy.
I'd like to see a smile from Hank for him to make me happy. There it is.
Wow. Huge.
That was a huge smile. All right.
Now I'm happy because of you, Hank, which means you're happy because I'm happy. Yep.
All right. This sounds great.
All right. We're doing the Mount Rushmore of athlete nicknames.
And we didn't plan this, but it should be in honor of Jonathan Kaminga, who got drafted by the Warriors and is now being called the Come Bucket. Okay.
By Warriors fans. All right I like that.
The nicknames that probably won't stick. It probably would stick.
I think that maybe we should do a separate column for Chris Berman nicknames. What do you mean? Are any of your nicknames that you're going to choose Chris Berman nicknames? No.
We're doing athlete nicknames. You did a different task.
No, I'm saying nicknames that you're going to choose Chris Berman nicknames. No.
We're doing athlete nicknames.

You did a different task.

No, I'm saying

nicknames that Chris Berman has given to

I have not prepared that. You have.

No, I'm just saying that we

should not be taking

John Kitten Caboodle

Scott Supercalifragilisticexpialibrocious

It should be athlete nicknames that everyone knows.

Yes, okay.

Yes.

All right, numbers.

Numbers.

Hank, why don't you start with your number?

One.

I'll go zero.

I'll go double zero.

Okay.

Billy?

Jake?

What do you want?

69?

No. No, four.
Four. Four? Okay.
Are you guys throwing the order? No. No.
I always pick zero. Definitely not obvious.
Two. What? So perfect.
Hank, your decision on the order. Now that made me happy, Hank.
Did it not make you happy? Didn't tickle you a little bit? If you're happy, then I'm happy. If you guys tried throwing it, it failed.
Yeah. Right.
So it makes it great. Yeah.
What do you think? It's your call. All right.
We'll go 2, 3, 4 So me, Jilly Myself and then PFT This is a tough one There are so many good nickleons We're going to leave a lot out for sure Hank, is this your pick or is this you and Bubba combined? Just curious What do you guys want me to do? Why don't you surprise us?

I want you to do whatever you want to do, Hank.

Yeah. Okay.

First pick is Big Poppy.

Got it. Boston legend.

Champion. Reverse the curse.

It's just a great...

I love it when you call me Big Papa.

That's a song independent of Big Poppy.

Just a great name. Barstool Employee.

Barstool Employee. Barstool Employee.
Our co-worker.

Go listen to Call Me... What is it? Call Me Poppy?

Yeah, Call Me Poppy. I think that's also the reason why that's also such a great nickname is that you can even shorten it and it still works.
You just say Poppy. People know who you're talking about.
Right. And he is a legend.
He fits the name. All right.
We are going to go with, may he rest in peace, the Black Mamba. Ooh, okay.
What are you fucking, ESPN? He gave it to himself after... All right.
I'm going to stick with the Lakers. I'm actually surprised this lasted all the way to me.
I think it's probably the greatest nickname of all time because it's just become his name. It is Magic Johnson.
There is no one better than Magic Johnson. Irvin Johnson becoming Magic.
I mean, it's just synonymous, everything about him. It feels weird when Mike Wilbon says, me and my friend Irvin.
It's like, dude, that's Magic. He's Magic.
Yep. There are a couple nicknames that just have become what you call the person.

I'd say Magic Johnson is one of them.

Another one would be Dr. J.

Dr. J.

Good one, yes.

Dr. J.

No idea how he got the nickname, but it fits.

It works.

And then my second pick is going to be the big unit.

Randy Johnson.

Good one.

Good one.

Was he 6'10", 6'11"? Yep. Yep.
And nothing's talking about. His height.
Killed a bird. This one is another synonymous name.
It's an all-time nickname, and it is a nickname. It's Tiger Woods.
He's Eldrick Woods. His nickname is Tiger.
It was given to him when he was a kid. There's nothing better.
Like when he's in his red shirt on a Sunday hunting down his prey, Tiger Woods. Italian or? I don't think.
Is he Italian or pervert? I think just pervert. Okay, just pervert.
All right, this is a fun new game. All right, Chili, you're up.
We're going to go with Hideki Matsui, Godzilla. Okay.
Good one. Also, like a porn king.
Yes. How much porn did he have? Like 40,000 DVDs? Are you thinking about Matsui or Rabu? That guy, what was...
No, yeah, Matsui. I think Matsui had it.
Yeah, Matsui. Yeah.
Rabu was also a Yankee legend. Crazy rock.
Who I think has unfortunately passed away. I'm going to go with pervert, by the way, for Matsui.
Okay. Jackie Matsui.
Well, we don't know if he's ever been to Italy. All right.
Good pick. Godzilla.
Hank. I'm going to keep it within the family.
The Barstool family. Primetime.
Yeah. I had it on my list.
Great pick. Actually, don't you mean Coach? Coach Prime.
No, Coach Prime. Coach Prime.
And then I will go with Stone Cold. Ooh, okay.
I like that. Stone Cold Steve Austin.
I like that. I'm actually, I have not consulted Jake for this pick, but I'm going to go with The Juice.
Okay, OJ Simpson. Nice.
Jalen Brown. Nice.
Nice. OJ Simpson.
I like it. All right.
This is one of my personal favorite nicknames of all time, just because it gives a little love to anyone who's a little bit on the chunkier side. That would be the round mound of rebound, Charles Barkley.
I had that on my list, too. Round mound of rebound.
Such a great fucking nickname. Way better nickname than Cirque Charles.
Yes Mound and Rebound, we should normalize that when talking about Charles Barkley. Okay.
All right, number three, I'm going to go with The Refrigerator. I had it on my list.
William, The Refrigerator, Perry, The Fridge. Yep.
There were all those great posters back in the day of him just standing next to a refrigerator. Yep.
To be like, look, I'm as big as this thing. Yep.
A classic nickname. And then number four.
You can say. So many good ones.
Right. You can say this is a pander pick, but I honestly think Blake the Boat Bortles.
Okay. That is a pander pick.
That's the definition of a pander pick. The best of all time.
Yes. Yeah.
Yeah. That is the definition of a pander pick.
At least you prefaced it. Actually, you know what? Great pick.
Positive vibes. Good pick.
Thanks, Andy. Appreciate it.
You the man. All right.
My last one. Love your new show on this one.
I'm going to go with Sweetness. Walter Payton.
That's just a great nickname. Another one where it's like there's only one Sweetness and Sweetness.
Okay. There's so many good ones that left off.
We should go 60. You want to go another round? I'll go 60.
You want to go another round? Everyone down for another round. Wait, does that mess up the amount of picks, though? No, yeah.
If we do another round, Hank will go three times in a row, then Jilly, then me, then PFT last. And I go two? No, you go one.
Because that's only one extra. So just one extra.
Yeah, yeah. Or you want to go a whole other round.
If this were last week, I'd be like, this is crazy because Mount Rushmore is only four people. But I'm positive vibes.
Let's do it. Let's go a full other round.
Here we go. Let's go.
So we're going all the way. Hank, all the way back around.
All the way back around. We are going to go with another Laker.
Shaq. Shaq.
Okay. Which nickname are you going to take? Shaq.
Shaq. Shaquille O'Neal is his name.
Shaq. Yeah.
I like to say Shaq O'Neal, though. That makes people very upset.
The thought crossed my mind to just do four variations of Shaq's nickname. Like the big Aristotle.
Yeah, the big cactus. The big cactus.
The Shaq. The big shamrock.
Yeah. Superman.
Little weenie. But I did not do that.
So how many do I have right now? You have two. Okay.
White chocolate. Okay.
And the truth. Okay.
Paul Pierce. Good nickname.
Yeah, very good. All right.
You guys have another pick. We're doing one extra round.
So we're going to end with Hank. You have two at the end.
I've made five picks already. No, you've made four.
No, I've made five. Oh yeah, okay, so you're going to do one at the end.
You're right. We got lost in the snake again.
Johnny Football. Good fucking, that's on my list.
Good pick. This is a great draft.
Having a football nickname is kind of lame. Okay.
Especially when I'm playing. I'll go with.
Oh, shit. Actually, my personal.
My bad. I'll go with my personal favorite nickname that he refuses to take.
Although I think he's taking it now, the Slim Reaper, Kevin Durant. That's just a fucking great fucking nickname.
The fact that he tried to force the servant on us when he has the Slim Reaper. And the Durantula.
And the Durantula. This was a week ago, I'd be like, that's not a real nickname if he doesn't acknowledge it.
But you know what, Big Cat, that's a good pick. No, he has acknowledged it.
But he doesn't use it. He said he's going to start going as a Slim Reaper.
Got it. He said it.
Yeah, you're right. You're right.
Good pick.'re happy, Hank. You almost made me not happy there.
I get it. Which would make you not happy.
Right, that's the last thing I want to do. Just so you know, if we had a scale here, you just dipped me all the way to two on the happiness scale.
And that would have made you very unhappy, which would have then in turn made me even more unhappy. Right.
So we avoided all of that. Are we all happy before we proceed? Yes.
Checking in. Yes.
Yes. If I get a yes, then I'm yes.
Good. So I have two? Two.
Okay. In that case, I'm going to go with the Big Hurt.
Yeah. Frank Thomas.
I had it. I had it.
The Big Hurt. Great nickname.
I had it. Plus he's out there fucking everybody's wife at the gym in those commercials.
Yep. That's pretty cool.
Good one. Can you explain these commercials? Because I feel like you've made a few references in the past few days that I've never seen.
I don't know what you're talking about. It's testosterone pills.
Yeah. It's to keep you in great shape.
And your wife's not going to be complaining about it either. You know.
All right. I just wanted to like.
Yeah. I just wanted to maybe get some clarification.
I don't bonk to Frank Thomas' commercial, but I feel like when people see Frank Thomas, when women see Frank Thomas, they bonk themselves because he's on those pills. Alright, so my last one, I'm going to go with this is another big time pander pick.
Oh, jeez. Okay, fine.
I won't pander. No, do it.

Just do it. I'm not going to.

Pander. I will not.

Pander. So instead, I'm going to go with

Doug Martin,

the muscle hamster. And that was another

nickname that he tried... What was your

pander pick? I was going to go with

Andres Galarraga, big cat. Big cat, yeah.

Okay. Alright.

I'm going to go little NASCAR. Maybe the greatest nickname of all time.
The Intimidator. Yeah.
The Intimidator, Dale Earnhardt Sr. I mean, what are you going to do when the Intimidator comes for you? Yeah.
Richard Petty, the King. That's a pretty good one, too.
But King James. No, but it's King Petty first.
Yeah. Yeah.
It is really hard, though, in terms of nicknames.

Like, I was thinking, like, you know, some guys have nicknames that just, their real name,

like, LeBron is an example, or Michael Jordan, like, Air Jordan, King James.

Yeah.

But really, LeBron and MJ are way bigger than that.

I always like it when people refer to MJ as his airness.

Yeah.

That's the best. But you know what I mean? Like? Their names are way supersede their nicknames.
I actually think that Michael Jordan's name is just Jordan. He's gotten as close to what Brazilian soccer players do.
Just shortening their name to one thing as will ever happen in America. Alright, go ahead.
We're going to wrap up. Do you want to do another round? Yes, do it.
Do you want to? I got so many nicknames, but no, we don't have to. I have so many nicknames.
To wrap up with Broadway Joe Namath. Oh, good one.
Okay. Hank, this will be the end.
And then we'll do honorable mentions which have a lot of great nicknames as well. I will end with the answer.
Great nickname. Yep.
I had it on my list. You said that for every person.
I have a very long list. But you know what? Yeah, you're right.
That's my bad. I shouldn't have even said that.
Okay. All right.
I thought your pander pick, by the way, which I thought about, but I was like, I can't do it. Playoff Damien.
Yep. But that's really just an inside joke here.
All right. Things that got left off.
The Great One. Wayne Gretzky.
I mean, you can't get better than The Great One. Babe Ruth.
Yeah. So would you say Sultan of Swat or The Great Bambino? I think The Great Bambino.
I go Great Bambino. Yeah.
Also, The Colossus of Clout. That's a scene where they're just naming him, and Smalls doesn't know who it is.
Yes, this is the best. How about Fred McGriff, The Crime Dog? Crime Dog's a good one.
Awesome one. Big Ben.
Big Ben. Big Ben, yeah.
El Duque. He might be Italian, actually.
Yeah, no, he's Italian. Yeah, he's Italian.
Big Sexy, Bartolo Colon Yes, Big Sexy The Hawk, Andre Dawson Also Big Game James, James Shields Uh-huh Meast, Sean Taylor, Half Man, Half Beast Yep, Playoff Beat Oh, you know which one that Oh, the Sheriff, Peyton Manning You know which one that we totally missed That should have been on there? The bus. Jerome Bettis.
I mean, that's a fucking awesome nickname.

What about...

Andy's colors are a bus color.

That was the coolest part.

Bill Parcells, the big tuna.

The big tuna.

That's in the office.

Whoa.

Wow.

What?

Did you really?

I mean, you guys...

I said it.

I said it and it's tough.

Anyway.

I was going to say a different nickname for Bill Parcells, but we're not going to say it. You were going to say C-word, D-word.
Yeah, no, not going to say it. This one actually isn't well-known, but I think it's sick.
The Juggernaut, Peyton Hillis. Oh, yeah.
I would have said that first, but turns out that isn't well-known. Beast Road, Marshawn Lynch.
The Iron Horse, Lou Gehrig. That's a great fucking nickname.

The Yankee Clipper, I think, is a great nickname,

but it's Pinstriped in.

What, Liam, what are you laughing about?

I think he's just Jake calling himself out.

Yeah, the best in the office.

That's very funny.

Oh, what about Larry Bird, the hick from French Lick?

Great nickname.

What about fucking Hakeem the Dream Olajuwon?

Damn.

Great nickname.

The Big Ticket.

I didn't want to do... I was thinking about just The Big Ticket.
I didn't want to do it.

I was thinking about just doing all Boston, but I didn't want to do that.

Big Country.

Big Country.

Bryant Reeves.

I was going to say Kyle Rudolph, but yeah, also Bryant Reeves.

Bryant Reeves as well.

You know what?

I think it was Warriors fans that gave Corey Maggette the nickname.

Corey Bad Porn Maggette.

Because they said not all scoring is good scoring to watch.

Ah, I like that one. Oh, I realized today.
I did not know this until I looked it up, but Jadavion Clowney has a nickname. You know what it is? It's Doodoo.
Doodoo? Doodoo Clowney because he crapped in the pool one time when he was a kid, and everyone called him Doodoo after that. I feel like maybe we need to bring that back.
That's like Poopy Davenport. Najee Davenport? Remember where he crapped in his girlfriend's laundry hamper?

In the hamper, yeah. I don't know if anyone called him Poopy

Davenport except...

Actually, people called Poopy Davenport. Didn't Deuce McAllister

poop in a car one time? That feels a little

too on the nose. Yeah.

I mean, Dudu Clowney taking the Browns to the Super Bowl.

Yeah. Let's see.
What else?

Any others that we can think of?

There's another big cat, Tony Santa.

U.S. soccer legend.
Yep.

The Red Mamba. Oh! Dude!

The Flying Tomato! That's a great

Thank you. Any others that we can think of? There's another big cat, Tony Santa, U.S.
soccer legend. The Red Mamba.
Oh, dude, the Flying Tomato. That's a great fucking nickname.
Sean White. That's a great nickname.
There's a guy, he's an old baseball player. His name was actually Johnny Dickshot, but he went by, his nickname was Ugly Johnny Dickshot.
I like that. I feel like that's adding insult to injury.
That's a good one. That's a really good one.
I did look up some Chris Berman nicknames. I did not include, but I looked at them and I laughed.
Obviously, Mike, you're in good hands with Allstott. Yep.
Is a great one. John Kitten Caboodle is my favorite.
That's also a good one. There was Miguel Tejada They Come, Tejada They Fall.
That's fucking good. That's really good.
There is Jake Daylight Come and You Gotta Del Lome.

Yep, that might actually be my favorite now that I'm thinking about it.

Matt Stump the Shob.

Yep.

Calvin Benjamin Netanyahu.

Yep.

Yep.

Yep.

That one, very good.

All right, I think that was a great Mount Rushmore, guys.

Does everyone feel good about this?

Do you feel good about it?

I feel great about it.

I feel amazing about it. Are you sure? Are you? Oh, Butterbean as well.
Butterbean. Great nickname.
Iron Mike. Because that's the guy.
Iron Mike Tyson. Shit.
Damn. That's a fucking great nickname.
I mean, boxing is filled with him. Yeah.
It is true. Sugar Shane.
Muhammad Ali, I think, is just the GOAT. Yeah.
He's the greatest of all time. He's the greatest of all time.
Yeah. Yeah.
You feel good. Do you? I feel great.
I feel great then. Okay.
I think we all feel great. We all feel good about this Mount Rushmore.
Tom, terrific. Six deep.
We went six deep. Wasn't Julian Edelman once, wasn't he Minitron? No, Flying Squirrel.
Oh, Megatron is a great nickname. We left off the Honey Badger.
Yep. The Honey Badger.
Damn it. Danny Ricardo.
Yeah. Damn it.
Honey Badger was a big miss. Shit.
Greg Kittle. Yeah.
Great nickname. I almost want to replace.
Third leg. Third leg Greg.
Also great nickname. Gronk, technically.
Has Russell Wilson given himself a nickname? I think he tried. Rusticulous.
Yeah. Rustanger.
The past. He probably, he's got some things trademarked, I'm sure.
And he tried to sell them. On Google, it's the professor.
The professor. The professor, Kyle Hendricks.
Mad dog, Greg Maddux. Greg Maddux was also.
Wasn't Maddux also the professor for a little bit? Yes. Also, the professor.
Yes. The professor.
Escalade. Another good one.
Who's just the kid? Griffey. Yes.
Griffey Jr. Yeah.
Great nickname. So many good nicknames.
Oh, man. And we left off a lot, so people are going to get mad at us, but what are you going to do? That's just what you've got to live with.
It's part of the game. We could have just done all hockey nicknames and just added an ER.
Caner. Or an I sometimes.
Yeah. Yeah.
yeah yeah you have a flow chart yeah if your name ends in a vowel you put an r on it yes if your name ends in a consonant you just put like a y at the end yes yes so we should we should do that sometime with uh the spitting chicklets guys all right billy any recap anything that we missed um the study that I talked about earlier was paid for by Impossible Burger, PFT. Wait, they paid for their own study that fucked them myself over? Yeah, exactly.
Damn. Oh, by the way, a little follow-up on the fastest man currently, the Italian guy, Lamont.
Basically, of all the sprinters to break nine seconds, eight, 9 out of the 10 have tested positive or been accused of using steroids. Except Usain Bolt.
Lightning Bolt. He's the greatest of all time.
Lamont? Italian. Oh, Bong Rips Phelps.
That's a good nickname. People call him that.

Is that it?

Jake the Snake Plumber?

Ron.

Yeah, I mean, the wrestling nicknames are, yeah.

Speaking of Bong Rips.

Oh, not Jake the Snake Plumber, but Jake the Snake, actual.

Yeah.

With Damien.

I don't know who that is.

He fucking scared me.

He's a wrestler.

He had a snake in a bag.

Scared the fuck out of me.

Ron Laramie Tunsil?

Yeah.

Yes.

I just dropped that one.

I just invented that one right now.

All right, Billy. So is that it? Yep.
Oh, Bubba. Jared Goff syrup.
Oh. Wait, he put you to sleep? No, that was your guys.
You guys wrote that. Oh, Sean Timothy McVeigh? Put this on me.
Don't try to flip this on me. No, I just want you to be happy.
Are you? Yeah. Yeah.
I feel like that was a good Mount Rushmore. We're back, boys.
Casey Anthony Sherman. Yes.
Yep. Now we're just doing just four more weeks.
Don't worry. All right.
Numbers. Also, heads up.
Jake reminded me of this today. Only three preseason games this year.
Oh, that's nice. Yeah.
So now my head's all fucked up. Yeah.
Which one do we say? Like, remember, this week is the dress rehearsal. I think they'll probably do two.

Week two is going to be the dress rehearsal? I think so.

Okay.

Yeah.

So that's just a PSA because I was totally blindsided by it.

That fucks me up too.

All right, numbers.

71.

69.

71 is not eligible.

72.

Either is two.

Eight.

71, 66.

65.

I'm too near you.

There's only like 95 in there.

34.

Big poppy.

Elephants look at humans like humans look at puppies.