Coach Jon Gruden, Mt Rushmore Of Things We Don’t Get The Hype About, Mega Bed + Fyre Fest Of The Week

Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Shop their new holiday outfits in the app online or in stores. On today's part of my take,

we have our good friend Coach John Gruden in person. We're on the road for this show.

Great show coming, though. Coach Gruden talking football, getting you pumped for football.

We also are going to do the Mount Rush more of things we don't get the hype about, which was very open-ended and a lot of fun.

We're going to talk about some national sports podcast news. There's not a lot going on, but we're going to find something.

And then Firefest, I'll just say whenever the boys are together for an entire week, we've been all living together for the entire week, the Fire Fest are usually better because

they come from all of us, all angles. So we have a great show coming for you.

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Okay, let's go.

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Today is Friday, August 15th.

And boys, we're here, Missouri. Big Cedar.
Big Cedar. Big Cedar.
It's beautiful. Internet Invitational.
It's been a great week.

Probably haven't watched a lot of sports, but we're here to talk some national sports. National Sports Podcast.
I do like this part of the country a lot. It's fun.
It's crazy.

So, yeah, it's a beautiful golf resort. If anybody ever makes it down here, we've had a great time.
Incredible. Bonding as a unit.

Big time bonding. Shane and I spent solo, solo dolo, the two of us.

I don't know, 15 hours together, just fucking great time. That's huge.
It was,

we just, we just did it together, the two of us. Yeah, all the boys got in the pool last night.
Yep. Well, first we all got into bed together.
The mega bed. Yeah.

Which shout out, Zach, highlight of the entire trip. So we're staying in this cabin at Big Cedar.
Shout out to the people at Big Cedar. It's been an incredible week.

So we're staying at this cabin. There are four rooms.
Each room has two beds. So there's seven of us.
PFT is in the internet invitational. So we're like, he needs to get his own room.
We split it up.

Max and Hank together. Shane and memes, me and Zach.
First day we're here. What was the exact thing I said?

So we were talking back and forth the about the room set up and then it was you said should we

yeah and there was a pause and and then i i did just go straight to mega bed yeah you just like should we yeah yeah i was like should we bed mega bed which mega bed for people don't know it's pushing the two queen beds together uh i initially scoffed at it because it was a long day of travel i was tired it was late uh but then the next day i was like you know what zach we got a mega bed you were right we mega bedded is that a california king is that what that is dude it was bigger than that i think it's it might be bigger than that.

It was

together. We got all six of us in the bed.
Mega bed. Yeah.
I mean, mega bed changed my life. That bed might not even be commercial size.

That would have to be a cut, might have to be a custom-made situation. They'd have to crane it in.
Yeah.

Alaskan king. Yeah.
Yeah. I think that could be correct.
I think it might be. Russian king.
I got a question for you. Have you mega-bedded before?

Not in recent history and definitely not.

In past history? Maybe

if I did, it was once before, long ago. I don't believe so.

i could have been a first time mega bedder so what what made you think of mega bed because i mega bed wasn't even my in my lexicon uh-huh until tuesday so much more room for activity yeah it is

i feel like if you get put into a double room with two beds in it the thought occurs to you like what what if this was bigger yeah and it was it was so mega it was awesome being in the

bed yeah and zach and i slept like that i i had an idea to just make a room that was just an entire bed the entire room yeah that's it just a giant room where you can't go anywhere without laying down that's like my my idea for a closet but it's not a closet it's just an entire room with countertops and you just put your your clothes out on the countertop that's nice too because you can just walk around and see all your clothes you don't have to hang anything hangers suck fucking hate them drawers suck fucking hate them just let me throw my shirt on a countertop and then you walk in and it's basically like you're basically like you're walking in a uh like a fancy boutique store but it's just all your clothes just thrown about and you can see them all.

Just countertop. Great, great room to do coconut too.
Yeah, very, very good room. Do you want to hear what the name of it is?

The levels room. No.
The big shelf. Oh, that's good too.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's all it is. Shelf.
Big shelf. Huge shelf.
Either way, Megabed changed my life. I agree.
Yeah. Big shelf.

Imagine going Mega Bed with Big Shelf.

I don't think there's room for enough shelves. If you can't tell, there's not a lot of sports going on.
Not a lot of sports. I got a couple of things.
But I do want the last thing on Megabed.

We saw, obviously, we had Taylor Swift on on Wednesday.

The New Heights, Kelsey Brothers had Taylor Swift on. I feel like we, so it was 1-1 going into the night match, and Megabed won us that day.

You think point Megabed? I mean, Megabed had... Megabed had one point.
I know they had 1.2 million people watching. Megabed had like 1.2 million impressions on Twitter within 30 minutes.

Good for a lot of lies on Megabed.

Good for for Megabed. That's crazy.
Yeah. Which really says the Kelsey brothers probably used to do Megabed all the time.
Oh, yeah. When they were kids.
And now they don't. And now they've changed.

Oh, I have my own house. Oh,

I can't just tell Taylor Swift, the number one pop star in the world, to go into Megabed. No.

They've changed. They also didn't ask Taylor Swift the hard-hidden questions that we asked Taylor Swift on our podcast.
That's a fact. That's a fact.

You could tell the whole time she was just like, I wish I was on with Rascillo. Yeah.
Yeah. I miss Rosillo.
I want to do life advice. Yeah.

Where's Kyle? I don't know. Shout out, nephew, Kyle.
He is the man. All right.
So what do you got for sports stuff? Well, sir, a second Mike Vrabel has broken up a fight at training camp. I love this.

Yeah, so Vrabel broke up another fight, dove in. I don't think he got cut on the face this time.
I think he probably, you should see the other guy this time.

He probably dealt out the punishment, but I love that Vrabes is doing this. Yeah, and fighting in training camp's good.
It means everyone's fired up.

Yeah, you think he's ready to hit somebody else's players?

No, I think he keeps it, you know, keeps it within the team, keeps it within the family. Yeah, I'm only hitting you because I love you.
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, he's, that's

culture. That's a culture changer.
Also, he's just addicted to like violence and getting his hands on other men. Yeah.
Remember last year when he was like the consultant for the Browns? Yeah.

And then he was just like, just put me out on the practice field. Yeah.
Like, let me hit people. There are certain football coaches that, you know, will have their spreadsheets and their analytics.

And then there's certain football coaches that like

the only reason they're not playing anymore is that they just don't, they're not young, but they would do anything. Like, the Harbaughs, the Campbells, the Vrables.

If you said, hey, you can go out and play a play, they would definitely do it. Yeah, I bet Coach O misses hitting people.
Yes, definitely, definitely. All right, what was your next one?

The other thing was that Landon Dickerson brought a cooler of beer to practice. Dude's Rock.
Dude's Rock. Was it joint practice? Joint practice.
And he also shared with both teams. Oh, good guy.
Okay.

Old schooler. Go out in the parking lot.
No, no, it was on the field. Oh, yeah.

Okay.

It was,

yeah, him, Lane Johnson, and a couple of the Browns offensive linemen just sharing a couple pops. Love that.
During practice. I think it was after practice.
Okay.

But on, but yeah, on the Nova Care field. Okay.

I got some stories. You want to just rip through some? I like that that headline was like, football player drinks beer.
Yeah. Yeah.
Big football player drinks beer with other big football players.

Yeah, that's also. It's a great story.
That's as good as training camp stories come. Yeah.
No, that was, I saw it.

It was, it was probably the biggest news that it was that and the Atlanta news station accidentally putting Michael Penis Jr. on the cryon.
Yep.

That was a huge story. Can't do that.
When you drafted Michael Penix Jr., there were meetings. Every news station in Atlanta got together and were like, we have to end his name with an X.
Yes.

This is number one priority right now. And it's probably autocorrect.
Yeah. Yeah.
All right. Nico Harrison was at the Steelers camp.
Fuck Nico Harrison. So weird.
I don't understand it.

Yeah, what's he doing there?

Probably trying to trade TJ Watt. Yeah, Nico's.
He's a guy that if he showed up at my own house, I'd be like, am I losing Blake? Yeah.

Everyone here. Everywhere he goes, you have to think to yourself, he's about to do something really fucking stupid.
Yeah. I don't.

Weird dude. Yeah.
Go away, dude. Fuck you.
We don't like you.

All right. What else we got? The Minnesota Twins issued a statement online yesterday from the ownership group saying we've heard from our fan base loud and clear, a lot of you don't like us.

A lot of you want us to sell the team. We have considered selling the team, but came to the conclusion that we're not going to sell the team.
So you're stuck with us. Fuck you.
Okay.

I've heard loud and clear. Yeah, I'm paraphrasing a little bit there, but that's you never want to see that statement from ownership.

No.

No.

They're shitty owners.

They put the Twins fans through torture.

The Twins have perpetually been good enough to get in the playoffs and not win anything.

And then this year, I think I saw this that they have two of the current guys on their major league team have a contract for next year. They just traded everyone.
How is that possible? I don't know.

I don't know. And that might not be a correct fact.
That you might have gotten sentilled? Well, no, I don't think it was scintilled.

I think I just was scrolling and saw it and was like, wow, that's crazy. It's probably changed since then.
I don't know. I don't really care.

I'm going to run with it because I don't like the poll ads.

We speak truth to power on this podcast. Yeah.
Polads always sounds to me like it's a national slur against some country. Yeah, it does.
These fucking Polads.

Oh, by the way, I know this is out of order, but we are about to do the Mount Rushmore of Things We Don't Get the Hype About. Dak Prescott would have been a good pick.

Yeah, but does he still have hype? I don't know. I think some.
I think if he has one good game, he's going to get hype. That is true.
You know what?

He does have hype because they're going to talk about him all the time. Yeah, absolutely.
Did you see Jerry Jones? I think Sportico came out with the most valuable franchises in all of sports.

Cowboys $12.8 billion.

It's pretty good. Damn, dude.
It's pretty good.

The other notable NFL franchises, Cowboys, $12.8, Rams, 10.43, Giants, 10.25 bill.

Patriots 8.76, and the 49ers, 8.6

billion. That's a lot of money.
That's a lot of money. Yeah, I wonder what's going to happen, you know, hopefully it's a long time from now, but when Jerry Jones does pass away, Steven.

You think he's going to, is he going to be able to pay the taxes, all that shit?

Yeah, because he bought the Cowboys for like

for nothing. Yeah.

If they were for sale, though,

who's going to buy them?

Schefter had a tweet, which was kind of weird because he was basically being like, look how rich Jerry Jones is. But he bought, what did he end up buying the Cowboys for?

It was nothing in the grand scheme of how crazy all of these franchises have blown up. Probably a couple hundred mil.
Yeah, probably like a, yeah, and like a box of strawberries or something.

He's like, here you go. I got a big oil well up in Norman.
I'll sell that to you. Pennies on the dollar.
Give me them Cowboys. Give me that.
All right, I'm going to try to find it.

But the Glazing was crazy on this. Also, he was glazing the Cowboys.
What was up with that? They're not. I guess Kelsey, Jason Kelsey works for ESPN a little bit,

right?

But still, he has like first take was talking about it. All right, here it is.
I got it. Jerry's World.
$12.8 billion is the current valuation of the Dallas Cowboys.

Jerry Jones, when he bought the Cowboys, was for $140 million in 1989. That's crazy.
That is insane. $140 million to $12.8 billion.

Good for him. Good for him.
Good for him. Good things happen to bad people.
He was just talking about how he still thinks all press is good press, no matter what about the Cowboys.

He threw in a little dig at the NFL. He was like, I do all this.
I bring eyes not only to my team, but I do it for the NFL free of charge to the NFL. Yeah.

You should thank me more often, Roger, which I agree. Yeah, I'd like to see Roger Goodell publicly humiliated by his own ownership group more frequently.
Yeah, absolutely. Like bend the knee to them.

Yeah, just little slight digs here and there. Yeah.

Do you guys, the

NBA

rights thing has kind of settled where we got the schedule? This, this sucks. I'm just gonna say this right now.
I mean, this is not news. It's not breaking news, it's not novel.

It sucks what they're doing to us as sports fans overall, where we have to have every subscription, a million different channels, all this stuff to watch sports.

I saw there was something that was like the average NFL fan has to pay like $1,300 this year to watch every NFL game because you have to have Netflix, you have to have Amazon, you have to have cable, you have to have Sunday ticket, all this shit.

It's absurd. It's absurd.
If you want to be a sports fan in America, you are paying a shitload of money way more than your cable bill ever was. Way more than DirecTV, satellite ever was.

You have to get all these streaming packages. I think the government is going to try to break them up.
Yeah. Or force them to merge

into a bundle. That's a cable.
I guess that's the opposite of breaking. They're going to set them up.
Yeah. No, we're going back to cable.
We have to go back to cable.

Yeah, they're going to bundle them. Hopefully, that happens soon because it is fucking expensive.
Yeah. So Mondays are Peacock.

Tuesdays are NBC and Peacock, Wednesdays are ESPN, Thursdays are Amazon Prime, Fridays are Amazon Prime and ESPN, Saturdays are Amazon Prime and ABC, Sundays are ABC, NBC, and Peacock.

There should be a bundle. So stupid.
There should be a bundle. Maybe within these different apps, like Peacock, you only get Peacock Sports.
Yeah. You only get Paramount Sports.

And then you bundle all those different sports ones together and you get the sports megabed.

Yeah, the mega bed of sports. Fucking love that.
Also, shout out, PFT, our two teams.

You're last. I'm second to last in least amount of prime time games.
So the Wizards have two prime time games. The Bulls have three.
That's two too many.

That's, yeah, there's a lot of teams tied to that. I'd like to apologize for the two prime time games that the Wizards do have this year.
Did you guys see?

This is not really a big story, but Tim Dundon, the guy from the Carolina Hurricanes, he bought the Portland Trailblazers. Is that the weirdest combination of teams you can own? Yeah, probably.

What's weirder?

If you owned your Orlando Magic

and

the

New England Revolution.

What about, yeah, or like, oh, let's think.

The Arizona Diamondbacks and the Ottawa Senators.

That'd be a pretty weird one. That'd be really strange.
The Tampa Bay Lightning

and the Seattle Sounders. is that what or who is it sounders i think it's sounders sounders the team that always plays against portland yeah yeah carolina and and portland that's

in basketball and hockey that's very strange good for tim dundon i think great job i think that dude's like a same colors payday loan king what same colors True.

Do you think he bought the Blazers because their logo is kind of like a hurricane? He's trying to make like a mini like Pittsburgh, but it's all across the country.

Yeah, he gets to save money on his merch sales because he's like, I just need the hurricane shape. I need to, I need that mass produced for me.
Oh, shit. So, is he gonna?

So, he's gonna buy the Arizona Cardinals.

The colors, yeah, but yeah, it like the Blazers. I don't know what, why are the Portland Blazers? Why is their logo the hurricane sign from the weather channel? Okay, you want me to look it up?

Yeah, yeah, I'd like to know. You guys got a filibuster, these are the things that chat my ass day in, day out.
Can I gas Hank up real quick? No,

I'd like to gas permission to gas you. No, Granted.

Hank is really good at golf. He's too shy to say it on the podcast.
Too shy to say it on the podcast. My man Hank came back this morning.
He shot a 37 on the front nine. 38.

38 on the front nine with a seven on the first hole. Yeah, I made it eagle.
I played well. I mean, it was, it was, I got it.
It doesn't really matter.

We were playing for fun, me and Grinel, Malisek, some of the producers, memes.

But, you know,

it's a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful place. Shout out to Big Cedar.
Three of the nicest courses I've ever seen. Unbelievable part three course.

This place is magical. Once again, you didn't do it on camera.
I just enjoy being out there with the boys.

I'm happy to post a good score. Didn't go as well on the back, but it was a

great day. 37? So what, you'd have to shoot 48? I shot 84.

So Hank texted me. It was Rattlesnake, so I was too scared to go look for balls.
He texted me an update. He said, I just shot 38 on the front line.

I said, if you break 80, I'm going going to wipe your deck clean. $8,000.
Wow. Unfortunately.
That got in my head. Yeah, sorry.
I definitely didn't do that just to mess with you.

Okay, filibuster over.

The Portland Trailblazers logo is a pinwheel design because it visually represents two basketball teams, five players on each side, coming together at center court.

The intersecting lines with their curved nature also symbolize the speed and motion of the game. It's a fucking hurricane.
That's so stupid. Yeah, just say it's a hurricane.

You know what? That makes me think that they came up.

At some point, this logo was the most state-of-the-art logo that's ever been done. Yeah.
They were like, watch this.

It's 5'5, motion of the game. You've never seen a logo like this.
1970s, we are living in the future. Yeah.
All right, so that guy,

yeah, that guy owns both teams, Tim Dundon. Good for him.
Good for him.

Do you want to talk a little baseball? I don't know if we have any baseball. The Cubs stink.
Brewers never lose. Brewers don't lose.
Crazy. Crazy, man.
Well, there is a Brewer story out there. What?

The Brewers had, I believe, a 12-game win streak. Yeah.
And there's a local restaurant that gives away free hamburgers whenever the Brewers have a 12-game win streak. They've only done it three times.

They've done it like four times this year. Yeah, since it started in like, I want to say the 60s, they've only had three times where they've given away these hamburgers.

And one guy in Wisconsin got so mad,

he went to the restaurant, tried to claim his free burger, and they're like, hey, man, we have to give out free burgers to everybody in the state. So it's going to take a couple of days.

You'll get your burger. And he called 911.
What? Yeah, he cairned out on the free burger. Damn.
Yeah. Called the cops.
That's crazy. And then they're, I mean, they're going to do it.

He's going to have another shot at it. They've won like, oh, no, they're on the 12-game win streak right.
Yeah, they don't lose. They do not lose.

I got a question for you guys because would you say the Cubs were up like,

I can't remember what our biggest lead was, but at what point is a blown lead? Like, it's too early for a blown lead, right?

Like, and also the Brewers are up eight games now, it happened in like two seconds. Yeah, so August.
Yeah, it's not like a blown lead in the division has to happen in September, right? Yeah,

yeah, would you guys agree? Yeah, okay, that this is, by the way, the ultimate loser talk that I'm just trying to find solace in being. I'm like, we didn't blow the lead, yeah, it's way too early.

Yeah, I think you guys just got out to a hot start. Yeah,

it's crazy, dude.

They're up eight games in the Central. It's like it happened in the last like three, like two and a half weeks.
It's fucking nuts.

I'm excited, though. Play up.
The wild card race is going to be awesome. Really, really good.
The Phillies, how are they doing?

They just lost a series to the Reds, but

it's nothing worse than a loser. We lose a series.
We've been winning most of our series recently, so it's okay. Yeah.
We haven't scored in the past two games.

Zero runs in the past two games is troubling, though. You got to score.
And

two of our best pitchers have not looked great, but we're,

you know, chalking that up.

We got some time before October. We were talking some ball last night.
We were talking

some positional numbers

when Hank was trying to figure out what order Shohei Otani's triple play went. Do you remember what it was?

It was like the four aces all over again.

It was just 6-3. No.

You said 6-5-4-3. No, that's what I said, but with the actual triple play, it was just shortstop.
I think it was second. I think it was 4-3.
4-3. May have been 6-3.
I don't know.

That got me wondering if there's ever been a play in Major League Baseball where every player on the field has touched the ball. I feel like, no.
It would have to be the craziest pickle.

Well, it'd be like little league. Yes.
It would be a pickle. It would probably be like a

crazy error in the outfield. I feel like it could happen.

If you get a ball hit to right field, the guy misses it. And then the center fielder has to back him up.
And then there's a pickle between second and third. Yeah.

So then you get the left fielder in there, and it's got to go for a while. A position Nagami.

Maybe a throw to home, misses the catcher, pitcher backing him up. It was long enough.
Yeah, the center, left field, catcher could all get involved. Yeah.

Let's see, somebody asked that question. Also, shout out the Padres.
They took the lead in the NL West.

A couple of those. Podheads.
I like the pods.

I said it last year, but I fell in love with the Padres again this year for the exact same reason. So I'll probably end up regretting it.
They've been hot. They got an awesome bullpen.

They got fun players to root for.

You got it? You got the answer?

This is just a bunch of people talking about the possibilities. One guy said, you Darvish once hit three people with the same pitch.
That's pretty good. I'd like to see that.

I found a 625154-5657 triple play.

But you're still missing three guys with that. Yeah.

I don't think it's ever happened.

Yeah, probably not. That's when Peter Gammons just ascends to heaven.
Yeah.

Not in like a death way, just in like I've reached my final form.

Baseball Nirvana. Yeah, absolutely.

Okay.

I don't really have much else. Is there anything else going on in the sports world? Jake Fromm's an insurance agent.

You think? Yeah, that was kind of funny just seeing that. I mean, he's probably doing pretty well.
But it was kind of crazy seeing him.

Is he selling? Wait. He's a client advisor.
Is he selling car insurance? Sterling Secrets Pritchard, client advisor for an insurance brokerage in Atlanta.

I bet you he did.

Do you know, like, everyone jokes about like, you know, a guy like Jake Fromm, who was quarterback of Georgia, drafted, you know, was he, yeah, he was drafted in the NFL by the Bills. Yep.

And then like, oh, look, he's doing insurance. Dude, he's probably living the best life.
All he's doing is just playing golf. He's just playing golf with clients.

He's playing golf with big Georgia fans and bringing in deals. He's probably making a lot of money doing it.
Yeah. He's their closer.

If you're going to buy insurance from somebody, you might as well buy insurance from the guy that you used to be like, I fucking love you, dude. Thank you for making my life so much more.

I guarantee you his schedule is just, oh, you got to go golf with these Georgia fans and they'll give us millions of dollars of business.

What if you sold auto insurance to the current University of Georgia football team? That would be a high premium. That would be a very lucrative contract.
Very, very high premium.

That's probably why they recruited him. Yeah, probably.

Okay, let's get to our Mount Rushmore. We have a great Mount Rushmore, then we have Coach Gruden, and you're definitely going to want to listen to Firefest because we've all been together all week.

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Okay, Mount Mount Rushmore time, boys.

What are the standings? Do we have them? That'll be Big Cat and Zach. You guys won the last one, so you're at 38.
Me and Max are at 36. We won the last one.
No. No, we came in last.

Oh.

Me and Max at 36. You guys at 34.
Yeah.

Okay. Memes, something you want to share with class? Max just sent an absolute banger.

Oh, he sent a banger of a pick? Yeah, I just thought it thought

we're going to do

By the way,

shout out to our guy this day in Barstool because he counted up.

I tweeted out asking for submissions. Got a lot of submissions.
We're going to put them in a database. It'll help for next summer as well.

We've done, this will be our 283rd Mount Rushmore. That's crazy.

We've done every topic. A lot of people who submit topics, I appreciate you submitting topics.
And a lot of people are like, why aren't you doing this one? There's a good chance we've done it.

So we're, and we don't want to do repeats. We someday we'll do it.

Sometimes we accidentally repeat, but if we do, we try not to do any ones that we've done in the last four years. Yeah, we'd prefer not to repeat.

So I'm excited for this one. And we like doing the open-ended ones because it gets a lot of discussion going.

This Mount Rushmore is going to be the Mount Rushmore of things we don't understand the hype about. So

that's that's it. All right.
A little different than overrated things. It's things we don't get the hype.
We don't get the hype. But there is hype.
There is a lot of hype.

And all these things should get people mad because there should be a lot of people

who do get the hype about it. It could be good things.
We're not.

These will be basically just hot takes or people being like, well, how do you not get this? Like, it's probably an us problem. Correct.
Yeah, this is more of a discussion.

Like, it's hard to win this one because you're just talking about things that people will like. Are popular.
Yes. You don't get the hype.
Correct. Okay, so we're up first, Zach.
For our first pick,

we are going to, and we would like,

we would love for you guys to allow us to put a parentheses on this one because

there's something that's very confusing about it.

We're going to take Stanley Cups drinkware.

The big fucking Stanley Cups that everyone goes crazy about. All the women love it.
Don't understand the hype. Oh.
Literally. Yeah.
See how it's confusing? Not the Stanley Cup. Got it.
Got it.

The things that people wait in lines for, and everyone, every mom in America has it. It's literally just a cup.
I think it's even moved on from Stanley. I feel like there's a new cup every month.

Zach has the new one. What's the new one?

There's quite a few. The new one that I'm seeing everywhere is the wau.

What is it called? I think you and a wall of water.

What are they called? So, should we say what they're called? What's it called? It's a metal tumbler? Drinkware. But I feel like people recognize the Stanley Cups.

Stanley is one that made it popular. Yeah, no, that's good.
That's good. Stanley Cups drinkware.

People that like cold drinks. Yeah,

or hot drinks. I guess.
But there's a new one. They've rotated.

But for some reason, there's a new fad of one right every few months yeah and also they have the old it's just a cup good and i lose those cups so i've never understood the hype

right if i buy one it's gonna be gone they're very very popular yeah no i know yeah they resell on stock x yeah and like or any ebay all these yeah because there's like they're almost like beanie babies like the newer version of beanie babies where people collect different colors and they also whatever whatever new hot girl is doing like a selfie tick tock video with their new cup that's when all the girls are like oh i have to get that cup But why is it only girl?

Like, it's a girl thing. I know.
Like, if I see a guy walking around with a Stanley cup,

I think finance bros love a nice cup. I don't think so.
I think, I think it's.

I assume that man is gay if they're walking around with a Stanley cup. If they ever know, I do.
It's like, wow, yeah. It's Tumblr cup.

If you have a reasonable cup. Yeah,

like it's like a fashion. It's like a fashion thing.
Can you imagine whiffing out a cup and then using that same cup the next day? Well,

probably like guys.

Max, What about what about Tumblr cups in the house? Like, like metal cups. No, yeah, that's fine.
Tumblr cups.

I think it's more of the Stanley Cups. I think it's more of the Stanley Cups.
I think you have a problem with straws. Like a blue Stanley cup.

I think it's

putting your mouth all up on that straw. Is that a hot take?

Yeah, kind of. Just a little bit.
Is that crazy? Do you guys like to pick? I mean,

I don't get the height. I don't agree.

I don't know if Max is ever going to be putting on that headset again.

I know.

Oh, now he's rattled. He's rattled.
All right. You guys, who's up next?

You guys. Oh, all right, Hank.
You got the ball.

We had a great discussion earlier. We had a great discussion.
Probably the most efficient meeting we've ever had. Love that.

We're going to go with caviar. Had it on the list.
Caviar, great pick, Hank.

Expensive,

not good.

I like caviar. Of course you do.

I judge that a little bit. You're eating fish cum.
Yeah, no,

I think it tastes good. Like, I think I might just like potato chips and cream and creme creme frache.
You like having something that you eat before an appetizer. Yeah.
Yeah. It's nice.
It is nice.

I've only had it like a handful of times, but I'm like, this is

the bite of the potato chip, the cream, the creme frache, and the caviar is good. I don't know if the caviar is needed.
It could just be the fish. You just like chips.
Yeah.

But it's good. I've never had a bite of caviar and be like, that is delicious.
I haven't really eaten that much. I've probably had it like four times in my life.

One time me and Hank actually went to a Super Bowl party. It was a pretty swanky party.
And they had this food truck that was parked there and they were giving out caviar bumps. You remember that?

And they put them on your hands. Oh, yeah.
And then Hank looked at it and he acted like he thought he was supposed to snort it. Yeah.

I mean, I shouldn't have stopped him. I'm not a guy who turns down appetizer passed around.
I will always turn down caviar.

Like when the woman or man walks around and they're just like, hey, you want this? Caviar on a little toasted baguette or something? Like, no, thank you.

Yeah, and it's like synonymous with like super, super nice, like the most luxurious places. You're serving caviar.
It's like, I would rather get served anything else. Yep, yep, yep.
Good pick.

Good pick.

Okay.

We're going to go with R11.

If we're talking strictly things that we don't understand,

the hype about laboo boo. Yeah.
Don't know it. Don't get it.
Don't understand it. It's a good pick.

I'm not very familiar with labo-boos. Oh, it is hot in the streets.
Yeah, I know what they are, but I'm not.

I can't say I've seen many labo-boos.

They are. Oh, no, they are very much.
Do you think it's partially because it's a fun word to say? Maybe. Laboo Boo is fun.
Maybe it's fun. Laboo Boo?

That's when LeBron knows his team's about to lose. He gets a laboo boo.
Is that guys and girls or just Chris Girls?

I don't know. Who does do? I don't know.
But I know that it's like a recent. It's like a

thing. Where are you seeing laboo boos? TikTok.
It's all over TikTok. Okay.
Got it. Like, people are obsessed with

getting laboo boos and then like unboxing the laboo boo that they get and like getting super excited. I think it's just a great name.
Oh, yeah, that's what I'm saying. I can't stop saying labooboo.

Yeah, I think no one really understands what it is.

I think part of it can also be like the chase of them because it's like blind boxes. So like you're trying to find the rare ones.
Yeah. So that they're like chasing maybe.
It's like cards. Labooboo.

Next one are going to get people angry. I think the people in this room are, most of the people in this room are going to agree with it.

Soccer. Dawn.
yeah. Oh, my God.

Don't understand. Good pill.
Don't understand.

It's the most popular sport in the world by far. Yep.
And I watch a game and it seems so fucking boring.

Like, I get the moment that you get the goal is very fun, but every other moment in between it is like, when are they going to fucking do something? Yeah. Oh, soccer has.

It's, yeah, it's probably going to lose us the draft because so many people

fucking love soccer. It's going to be us to ourselves.
It's because it's the easiest sport to play.

So the most people play and the most people watch all you need is a ball yeah and you can play but it's the people

i agree it's it's most of the time you need pads not that fun to watch i only care about the world cup i only care about international so i i can't get into club soccer if it's mls if it's epl i've tried it's hard you have to have like a passion for that team no it's it the soccer's the one sport that i confidently can say i've never watched a soccer game that i didn't have money on it is watched every other sport without gambling i have to gamble to watch soccer It is fun to play.

When COVID happened, it was like the first sport that came back, and I was like, this is, thank God, there's like Ukrainian soccer. And I was watching, I was like, I still don't care.

If it's not going to happen now, it's never happened. Max, do you like penalties? PKs?

Yeah, I mean, that's fun, but that's like

the World Cup final was one of the best sporting events I've watched. It is the last few years.

That was electric. I can't wait for the World Cup in the United States, but I agree that soccer,

I can't dedicate myself to watching a full season of 90-minute soccer games. Can't do it.
Nope. Good pick.

Us next, we are going to go with lip fillers.

I like that. Yeah.
Very popular. I feel like it's one of those things, like it's like a lot of girls look better before they get lip fillers.
No, they look,

I think it looks weird. I'd say the vast majority look better before.
Yeah. Yeah.
Like I've never. And it's like one of those things you get it once and you just have to keep getting them.
Yeah.

Good way to put it is like I've never looked at a girl and be like, oh, those lips are way too skinny. And then I have plenty of times looked at a girl and be like, that is way too much lip filler.

So it's like,

why even do it if the only thing that people are going to realize is when it's too big? What'd you think about a man with lip filler?

What'd you think? Strong, strong, confident man.

What about a man with lip fillers and their lips are just wrapped around a straw going into a Stanley cup? No, yeah, that dude's probably gay.

Zach, I feel like we should go 2-4.

We can just piss off both sides.

What were you looking at? We're in the middle of Mount Rushman. I had the numbers list swapped.
I was a previous number list, the newest number.

But we had 1-1 on those

2-4?

We just piss off everyone.

Yeah, that's...

Okay, we can rip 2-4. All right,

we're going to piss off pretty much, I'd say 100% of the world right now with these next two picks.

Our next pick is going to be

Taylor Swift Easter eggs. Not Taylor Swift, the music.
We understand the music, understand the hype in that.

I, for the life of me, do not understand when Taylor Swift just like matches a couple numbers and she wears a color that she wore four years ago, and everyone fucking goes full investigative journalism mode.

And they're like, this is this. Oh, my God, she said this.
And then

she had a high school boyfriend named Dylan. And

if you add up all the numbers of the letters that might equal this for her new album, it's it's fucking stupid. I think it's just a fun puzzle.
I, I, I don't understand the hype about it.

I don't understand the hype. Does she like she likes the number 13? Cool.
I think also just like liking a number that much is weird because liking Taylor Swift is a hobby.

It's a hobby to have, and then it becomes like

three.

But you know what I mean? Like, I totally understand the hype of her music. She's a great, like, her, her music is good.

Uh, I listen to some of it not by my own volition because my kids like to listen to it. The Easter egg part, I don't get.
I do not understand.

I don't get the hype about the music, but that's that's just me. What? I like the music.
I think it's but you, but you at least understand the hype about the music.

Sure, like I, if music is she's a talented music,

music is subjective. If someone's popular in music, I'm not going to be like, oh, like, just because I don't like it, I don't get it.
But the Easter egg part, I've never gotten.

The gap between her and like number two, though, is so insane. Like, that's where it's like,

it blows my mind that it's that much hype. I think she's a very talented songwriter, talented singer,

very good performer, but I don't think that she's like the most electric performer singer to ever walk the face of the earth. Yeah.
I think that

that's where you lose me a little bit. Right.
But you guys, you guys obviously know what I'm talking about, the Easter eggs. Yeah, no, I

don't.

It's a good way of like, I don't understand it. Yeah.

I don't know. I don't, I don't, and it's so popular.
It's so. You have to decode stuff.

Basically, from now until her album drops, every single thing that comes out that's even adjacent to Taylor Swift, they're going to think is a hidden message.

What she was wearing on the Kelsey podcast will be broken down as a hidden message that some things are just not hidden messages.

I think it's like true crime, but for asshole former boyfriends, yeah, but there's no, you can't find the murderer, yeah, but you, but you like to find him, and then you like to do podcasts about him.

Um, all right, uh, and then this one uh is gonna piss off another group of people, so I think we just pissed off all women. Good, I like this.
Now we're gonna piss off a lot of men. Uh,

we don't get the hype on sports cards we had it yeah we had it don't get it don't get it don't you never really got i i liked i had a bunch of baseball cards when i was growing up when i was like six to ten i collected them and i learned like every mid 90s baseball player that was fun and then i just kind of stopped caring about baseball cards just don't get it what you just get them and then you put them in your hold them and then you someday sell them and then you buy more of them i don't get it having a binder yeah when i was like 10 years old i had a binder correct but you can't even display it.

Getting like now makes no sense. Yeah.
Do you know what I did as a kid? Which I

obviously probably were worth nothing anyway, but I took all my good cards, good players, and I put them in a separate binder. And then I lost that one.

So I found my old binder like, I don't know, maybe like 10 years ago. And I was going through it.
And it was like, you remember the actual binders that had like the six sleeves? Yeah.

So it would, it was full, but there was like gaps in every single page. And it was just dog shit players that I had.
Whole binder was dog shit players.

What do you think about a guy that's got a book filled with pictures of the dudes, Matt?

Nah, it's chill. Yeah, that's chill.
Yeah, that's chill. But yeah,

you guys agree? I don't really, I don't think none of us, I don't think any of us are. Yeah, no, but there are people that are

so mad. So mad.
But I feel good. We've pissed off men and women.
We have. Yeah.
Equal opportunity pissing off right now.

We're going to have the most people pissed off after this, Mount Rushmore. I'm excited for it.
I will say that when Zach and I were were game planning this in the megabed last night,

he wanted to make sure that it was sports cards because he says Pokemon cards do have utility. You can actually play the game.
Yep. Magic gathering.
Very

important distinction.

These all have utility. There's a game to be played.
They're no different than like a nice set of tools. I wanted to say card collecting.

So I guess it's sports card collecting would be our graphic, but I wanted to say just card collecting. And Zach was like, no, Pokemon, you can play.
So sports card collecting is our pick.

All right, we're going to go something in the same vein where it's like it was fun when you were a little kid, but I understand the hype as an adult is Marvel movies. Oh, wow.

We just

old Marvel movie, like the up until Avengers,

I did like Marvel movies.

I thought we were going to go one, two, KO punch a Brandon Walker, and you were going to say wrestling.

That's

a wrestling. That's not a bad pick.
That's a rustling. I still understand the hype of wrestling.
It's not a bad pick. But that literally would have killed Brandon.
I like that Hank. Good pick.

Marvel movies. I had it.

That's what I kind of understand. I like good movies, but like it's same, it's the same thing as Taylor Swift.
It's like she's great. She's a huge artist.

There's a lot of fans, but like it's they had a million people watching a podcast. Like the Marvel movies being like, you know, people like camping out for Marvel for superhero movies.

It's like, yeah, I like good movies, but the hype being as big as it was never, never made sense to me when they're like cheesy superhero movies.

I don't know. The event, like the endgame, like in theaters was an awesome watching experience.
Like, it was super, super cool. I, I kind of got into it at one point.
I love this Mount Rushmore.

People are going to be so mad. Oh, yeah.
We're not saying it sucks.

We just don't get the hype. Yeah, no, it's the same thing.
Our hype level is not commensurate with the national hype level. I had it on my list.
I had my honorable mentions.

You do have to be dedicated to knowing everything about

to follow the entire storyline. And the new phase does suck.

And if there was an alternate universe where pardon my take was an all-female podcast and they did this exact Mount Rushmore, I think one would be sports. Yeah.
Yep. And we would our entire lives.

Okay.

Okay.

This is where we're going to

join the health and fitness

part of part of

this. This is always tough to do.

The first one I'm going to say is very popular with one person of this podcast. Uh-oh.
And it's cold plunges.

Yeah.

I used to do it all the time in college, and it was a punishment. Who cold plunges? Who cold plungers?

Hank cold plunges. Frequently? Yeah, go to the bathhouse.
I was

so good pick.

We had it on our list.

I'm building a cold plunge in my house. Correct.
I'm going to try it. But

you had to do it after practice. I like get super hot, sauna, and then cold plunge after.
It feels good. It's so good.

But it hurts. It was so nice.
I don't know. I have never

gets super, super hot. Yeah, you get the tingles.
It's good. Like, I've never.
It feels good. Your body feels good.

there's great utility to it it's like shock to the system yeah all i know is that i used to do it all the time before it was like everyone said how good it is and it was like widely considered like one of the worst parts of our week when like everyone on our team had to do a cold plunge and then out of nowhere it has just become widely known as like the best thing that people are like paying to go do for luxury.

Yeah. And I just, I've never, I haven't done it since like the post-hype thing of cold plunges.
And I still look at it like I fucking used to dread doing the cold plunges.

And it was not enjoyable before, during, or after. Well, there's one part that's enjoyable about the cold plunge.
You don't look as fat when you get out. Yes.
Oh, yeah.

I used to say that tightening up. I always am like, oh my God, I'm not that fat.
Yeah.

That was another thing with me and my friends of what that was the one thing I was like, I'm going to go tighten up, get some really cold water, and it just tightens up your body.

I think the narrative around cold plunges changed when like super wealthy, powerful people started doing them. And it's the same thing like when they do the water fasts.

Their life is so easy that they like to do something that makes them feel pain or uncomfortable. And they're like, look what I overcame today.
I spent seven minutes in a cold plunge. Correct.

And then they start talking about it. And then people that want to become super powerful are like, I'm going to start doing that because I have a growth mindset.
I heard about this on a podcast. Yeah.

And I think that's how they get, but it does feel good, Tank's point. If you do a sauna, then cold plunge, that's a good feeling.
I would not do a cold plunge without the sauna. Yeah, I agree.

That's a, that's a

never done that. Okay.
Should we go with the funny pick? The pick that made you laugh? Yeah. Yeah.
It's not a, it's not a good pick. It's not a good one.

Huh? I think the other one is just a better pick.

But the other one that made me laugh is very funny.

Make us laugh.

There's there.

Make us laugh. Okay, this one there isn't even that much hype around.
Uh-oh.

Don't do it.

I think we got to do it. I think we got to do it.

Yeah. Toothpaste out of the tip.
Yeah. Daily vitamins.
Don't get it.

Don't get it. People are like, oh, yeah,

before I do anything, I got to make sure I take my zinc and blah, blah, blah. So I'm like, what does that do?

They're not even like weight loss pills.

The best thing it does, it makes your pee like neon orange. Yeah, I just get every pee.
If we're truly talking about things that like people need to do for their daily routine that I don't get,

but some people actually get like prescribed. Well, that's no, no, no.
I'm talking about

the daily multi-vitamin. Some women take a vitamin every day to not have a baby.

Is that a vitamin? Do you think like

do you think like someone who has like cancer taking like chemo pills, like that's a daily vitamin? No, no. No, no.

I think there's utility. Like, I think it's another pick definitely with proven utility.
For sure. You do that.
You don't. that.
I know, I don't, really.

I've bought, I've definitely gone to, like, I have a lot of daily vitamins. Oh, we've all dabbled.
I don't take them daily. But what do they do? I don't understand what they actually do.

If you're truly talking about things that I don't understand, don't get, don't understand. I think your body uses like maybe fish oil.
The amount of times I've bought fish oil.

What does fish oil mean? Yeah,

I think that's good for you. Take it every day.
It's great for you. Great for your skin or something.

But even if you're like a professional bodybuilder and you take that big, like the ones that come in the big pouch that have 12 pills in them, your body probably only uses 5% of those vitamins.

And the rest is just, you're going to piss it out. Yeah.
Okay. Good pick.
Finish. You guys have a pick and then I'll.
I'm going save PFT. I don't want to save it.
No, come on.

You can't go safe.

We had such a safe pick.

We won't go safe PFT. Got it.
All right. I got the ball.
We'll all go crazy.

Butt stuff. Oh,

don't get. I don't get the high.

That's where you poop. Yeah.
No, I like I don't want it similar. it's similar to titty fucking I don't want to I don't want to get my hands

not even close not it's not titty fucking titty fucking not where you

poop out of your chest don't lump that in with titty fucking I will lump it in with you you poop out of your butt I don't want to put my fingers or anything else in there I don't want you putting your stuff where my poop is I agree I feel like half of the people who you got there's a perfectly good hold next door I yeah I think exactly

no it's not. You don't poop out of your chest.
Maybe

the,

I think, like, a lot of the dudes that say, like, oh, I'm getting, I'm going to get anal tonight, they're just saying that because they think it's, like, what, like, was established as like the crazy thing.

It's like, why? Just fuck the pussy, dude. Just have sex.
Just put it in the pussy. You know what's really good? Sex.
Yeah.

Normal sex works. Great.
It works. You an anal guy? No.
Okay.

That would have been so funny. That's so good word.
Yes. Yeah.
It's like, like, yeah,

I can only come anal.

All right.

I think we go with our fourth rounder that we said that

it's not really. We're having fun.
We're having fun.

I mean,

you know which one we were talking about. Yes.
Where'd it go?

What number? Also, on butt stuff real quick, remember when ass eating was like the super popular thing?

That's weird. I feel like that was just people trying to trick us to do it.
Yeah. Like, who do you like to put your tongue in somebody else's butthole where their poop is?

I don't get it. I really don't get it.
No, I don't either. I agree.
I don't either.

I'm sure there'll be some people who are going to tell us we don't understand the importance of this thing, and there's all this deep shit that we don't get, and it was the first of its kind.

We don't understand the hype of the Mona Lisa whatsoever. It's a fucking chick, and she's ugly.
I don't get it. And people line up for hours to see it.
It's a fucking painting. It's so dumb.

It's so hyped. Why is it the Mona Lisa? Everyone's like, oh, it's the Mona Lisa.
That's like the number one painting. It sucks.
It's a shitty painting. She's got a smile, big guy.

Dude, it's a shitty painting.

And structurally by the numbers, paint by numbers, it's perfect.

It's the shittiest painting. If you put that up in my house, I'd be like, take it down.
She's ugly. I don't understand it.

And people hype it like, I mean, they say like, oh, that's like the Mona Lisa. They prepare other things.
No, I haven't seen it. I mean, I've seen a picture of it.
I've seen it, and it kind of sucks.

You waiting in line.

No, it's like it's a tiny-ass picture. You're in a giant room with like 400 other people that are trying to get close to it.
Some people are crying because they're looking at it. It's crazy.

Yeah, it's weird. It's so weird.
And it's like, I mean, I went to Paris and I saw the line at the Louvre, and I was like, no, I'm not going to wait in line because I just don't get the hype of it.

What is the it's a

fucking stupid ass paint. I honestly think all going, waiting in line to see anything, like

waiting in line to see,

I don't know. People wait in line to see the Liberty Bell.

I don't give a fuck about that. It's a fucking bell.

You don't have to wait in line. I hate the bean.

Whenever anyone comes to visit Chicago, they always want to visit the bean. I yell at them every time.
I'm like, it's a fucking bean. You yell at them? Oh, yeah.

I get angry. I'm like, we're not going to.
You guys are lined up outside the bean. No, no, no, no.
There's no line for the bean.

No, I hate the bean. I think I was just talking to one of them about how much I hate the bean.

I hate because it's the one thing that everyone wants to do when they visit, and it's so annoying to get to. You have to go to like through like the worst part of the city, and it just sucks.

It's the fucking bean. You go look at the bean and then you turn around.
It's like, all right, you're talking about the Mona Lisa stuff, yeah.

All right, this is when we can really piss some people off because we got a lot of

hijacking.

I like the passion, Max. I just forgot.
We got a lot, we got a lot of honorable mentions. Let's piss some people off.
Okay, who wants to start? We only had a few. Oh, really?

We have so many Las Vegas, having kids, feathered eyebrows.

Pickleball. Pickleball.
Having kids. Pickleball.

Yeah, having kids would have made a lot of people. Yeah.
Pickleball we had as well.

All right, we'll piss some people off. I mean, the Royal family never got the hype ever.
Yeah.

Don't get the hype on Elon Musk's rockets.

Yeah. I just don't get it.

They're impressive. I don't get the hype, though.
The one that they caught

that they re-caught, that was kind of cool.

Along those lines, I don't get the hype of the Cybertruck. Yeah, I agree with that.
I don't get the hype.

This one was Zach's last night, and I agree. It's very funny.
Zach, go ahead. Why don't you say it here?

I'll tell you the number. 8-9.

Oh, yeah. Conditioner.
I don't get conditioner. He doesn't get the hype of conditioner.
Probably don't need it. Yeah.

For short hair, I used to think that, and now you have long hair, like conditioner is very important. Yeah, okay.
I gotta have it. So I'm just out of the loop on that.
Yeah.

What do you guys think about?

We were clowning in the mega bed last night.

We don't get the hype on scooters. You look like a fucking idiot on a a scooter.
Yeah. It's just marginally faster than walking.
Yeah, but it's just like you look stupid. I don't know.

An adult man on a scooter looks dumb to me. Yeah, it definitely looks dumb.

I do use scooters often if I you do if I like want to get somewhere quicker than walking. Yeah.
I'd rather use a scooter than a bike if it's close. Yeah.
Matcha.

Yeah. Never understood that.
I've recently started coming around to matcha. I don't, I've never had it.
I don't understand it. Boba tea.

Yeah. I feel like that's not as hyped as you check.
That's like sweet was. Okay.

Aged whiskey, don't get the hype. Wine, too.
Don't get the hype. Do you guys get the hype? I like whiskey.
Okay. Like the, like, oh, this bottle's been.
Yeah, no, I've never.

I like the taste of good whiskey. Some whiskey is better than others.
Yeah. I don't think like the number of years necessarily means anything.

Disney World was one that Zach published. Yeah, I don't understand the hype of Disney World.
I was like, people go through, like,

no kids at 30, 40, 50 years old. They just like, they're like, we're doing one vacation a year.
It's Disney World every year. This is what we're going to do.
I don't understand.

Yeah, I think there's Marvel. It's the same people that are like at hype.
Those same people are like Marvel movies. Like, this is going to be the biggest night of my life.
It's like you're 40. Yeah.

There's some people that go to Disney World and they like going there because the food's good and like the accommodations are good. Okay.
And they know they're going to have a good time.

But then there's the Disney adults, which I think you're talking about, which is like,

this is the only place I go. And I love it.
And it's immersive. And it's transformative.
And I'm just going to be a Disney guy. That's what I do.

I get mad. If you get mad about Disney making changes to some of their routes,

like it's ruining your childhood

or whatever it is. Yeah, I don't get the hype on that.

Champagne?

Yeah, that's a good one. I just don't think it's that.

The fact that champagne is the be-all, like, we just did something awesome. Let's get a glass of champagne.
There's just so many better drinks. Yeah.
I just don't get the hype on it.

It's just fun to pop. I don't think that's probably the only reason.

If you poured me a bottle of Cristal or a glass of Cristal and then you poured me a glass of Andre, I don't think I'd be able to tell it apart.

Yeah, or if you like, if you're like, hey, do you want a Cristal or do you want a beer or a Truly Unruly or like a mixed drink? I'd take the others all day.

Seafood Towers. Oh, I like seafood.
Oh,

I hate it.

Yeah, bad pick.

I always think it's too much.

I always think it's too much. Too much? It's never enough.
All right. All right.
You want another one? You want another one?

Another one off that? Terrible pick.

Lobster. I'm with that.
I just. I kind of agree on that one.

I don't really get the hype. Like, lobster rolls are good, but like the actual, like, getting a lobster, have to crack it and all that shit don't really get the hype.

In the right setting, it's an elite, though. Yeah, summertime lobster.
I would say lobster might be the weakest part of the seafood tower. Yeah.
Seafood towers are. The seafood.
There is.

If you're at a dinner

and someone is like, yeah, get the seafood tower.

You're going to

be able to do it. I have more ones that are going to piss people off,

including in this room.

This one I couldn't pick because I used it last night, but mouth tape. I only used it because I thought I was getting a sore throat.

I didn't want to breathe out of my mouth, but I don't get the hype of mouth tape. I don't know if it never used it, never will.

I use it because I think that it helps with my snoring. I don't think it does.
Zach, why don't you say 19 and 24? Because those were yours. 19 was scary movies.

I don't understand showing up somewhere or paying to get scared. Great, great call.
Yeah, that's a good one. I like that one.
Did you get scared, Hank? Yeah.

I just don't get the hype because I don't. They don't really scare me.
I don't like being on that, like, a tense

on edge the entire time, like hours at a time yeah all right this one is good i also don't understand the hype of the kardashians very much no that wasn't the one that was that one good pick on our list good pick but the 24.

oh uh oh being an adult i don't understand the hype on like being an adult everyone they're as growing up everyone's like i can't wait to get older get older get older and i'm like why are we rushing these things like everyone just always wants to jump ahead to getting older and it's like let's just slow it down let's go day by day I don't get the hype on everyone wanting to age so quickly.

So when you were a kid, you would get like upset that you were getting a year older.

No, I would just ask the other kids, like, why do you guys want to be 25? So, or like 20,

whatever age it is, they're like, I can't wait to get to this age and do this. I'm like, why don't we just get through like right now?

Like, everyone's trying to jump so far ahead to being an adult so quick.

Facts. Why this made me laugh was this was said to me last night in a mega bed

in skeleton pajamas by the guy who just told us that he has his own skeleton pajamas and was embarrassed throwing out the trash because he spilled his Dr. Pepper while gaming with his friends.

You're not an adult.

Well, I don't like the hype. I don't like the hype either.

It's fair.

Yeah, it's more. It's not even that you didn't get the hype when you were a kid.
You don't get the hype right now. Like, you don't like being an adult.

I don't get the hype. I see shit.

Fuck it.

Cole play. Oh, David Goggins don't get the hype.

I just don't get the hype of like listening to a a podcast and being like, now I'm motivated to like be an alpha. Not a podcast, but the hype videos, a David Goggins hype

video. Not for me.
Fire me up. What does it make you fired up to do? Anything.

Like the possibilities? Yeah. Go to the gym.
Go shoot a great run of golf. Can you do one? Like, I don't think I've ever watched one.
Burn the boats. I can't do one.

What does he say? He's like, I couldn't walk. Yeah.
I said, I was never going to walk.

He's just always running and like. He ran 525 miles in a row.
And there's crazy music and like a bunch of... It's great.
What about

tasting menus? Don't get the hype. I hate them.

Yeah, people like... I like those.
Sometimes you want to be told what to eat.

But I just want a meal. I don't like having little bites.
I want the full meal. No, but it's good because

if you go to a really good one, they like...

Space it out perfectly that like you're hungry enough for every bite and you never get like it's like the perfect amount of full I also don't get the hype of Michelin star-rated restaurants.

Well, that's like the same thing. Yeah, I know.
Yeah. Every time I go, I'm just like, I love that.
I love that stuff.

You're foodie? Oh, yeah.

I've really like five. I've been to like

five chef's tasting menus in Chicago. They're really good.
Cassamba is my favorite one so far. He's answering this, honestly.

Yeah, I know.

Max Love's food. What can I say?

Oh, got it. Yeah, fat.
No, I'm saying you're a little gourmand. Well, those are.
You are a gourmand. I don't know what a gourmand is.

A man with fancy taste.

I like good meals. Yeah.

I don't get the hype of Luca's diet. He's just going to get fat again.

I don't. I don't get the hype.
He is. You know, like, he's 27 years old.
He is what he is. He's going to get fat again.

Yeah, I mean, if he doesn't have the entire internet shaming him all at once, he's going to get real comfortable. Yeah.

By February, he's going to gain the weight back. I'll do a milkshake.
As someone who yo-yo's, like, it's just what it happens.

I don't get the hype of Ibiza, but I've also never.

I'm pretty sure Ibiza is fucking awesome. Okay, all right.
I think it's

awesome if you're in your early teens. Yes.
And it's just like you party all night, all the time in the most beautiful place in the world. I feel like

that is probably an awesome experience. Okay.
I don't get the hype of mom jeans, that trend that like girls are wearing those. I don't get the hype.

It's like, why would you wear jeans that are like kind of uglier looking? Yeah, forced frumpiness. Yeah.
All right. I got my two really controversial ones.
You want them?

One's a person, one's a thing. Which one do you want first? Person.

This is going to.

I will change my opinion on this

because

I think he's very talented.

But as it stands right now,

he's been in like one movie. I don't fully get the hype of Shalomay.
He's been in so many movies. I have been

so many movies. I have only seen one.
Yeah. What other ones? The man.

I saw the Bob Dylan one. He was good.
Dune. Dune.
Part one. Never saw Dune.
Call me by your name. Never seen it.
Interstellar. Interstellar.
He was in Interstellar? Yeah. What was he? Son.

He was his son.

Not memorable.

Ladybird. Yep.
Okay. No.
Listen, I also

was like,

he's an all-time guy. He's an all-time sportsman.
He's very hyped.

Yeah. Okay.
Courtside, Jenner. I said I was Chrome.
I said it was controversial.

That's controversial. We were trying very hard to get him on this show.
I'd say to his head, I don't really understand the hype.

And then the other one is going to get a lot of hate. I don't understand the hype of waffle fries.
I think they're by far the most inferior fry. I agree with that.

And I don't get when people go crazy about waffle fries. Steak fries are the worst fry.
Who goes crazy about waffle fries? People love waffle fries. I like waffle fries.
I like waffle fries.

Chick-fil-A fries are average, and people will say that they're like the best fries ever. Best.
They're average. I think they're below average.
Sweet potato waffle fries. Yeah.
Oh, I know.

That's so good. Why do you got to bring sweet potato into everything? They're great.
Yeah, I just.

No, No, I mean, if I had to choose, I would go crinkle cut, and then I would probably go shoestring, then I'd go waffle, then I'd go regular, and then way, way, way, dead, dead last steak fry.

Curly fries. Curly is

up there, too. I was waiting for you.
I was

forgot about curly. I was ready to explode if you were going to say, way, way, way.
Yeah, yeah. Curly.

Curly fries are great. I also don't get the hype of cowboy boots.
They're just uncomfortable. Never worn them.
Yeah. They can be useful.
Yeah. Do you guys have any others? Memes, Memes got a bunch.

The one-one pick, I think, would have been TikTok influencers or celebrity relationships.

I had murder on there. Just don't understand it.
What do you mean? Like being like, hey, why is it so bad? You've done it and you were like, I don't get it. No.

I bad about this. No, like,

it wasn't that great.

Oh, like people killing people. Don't get it.

Pumpkin spice.

Actually, that's a pretty good pick because you're right. Like, why would you, why are you so mad you'd murder someone? Yeah, just like walking down the street.
It's just like, bang.

Like, that's cool. And it's like, who cares? It's one game.
Filtered selfies.

He's just got a fucking stubbed toe, dude. You don't need to murder anyone.
NFTs. Yeah.
Okay.

K-pop. Yep.
Good pick. Max had preseason football.

Okay.

I like preseason football for teams who suck. Taylor Schwift on New Heights.
Oh, like that. And Game of Thrones.
Oh,

damn. Game of Thrones is a good one.
Game of Thrones just isn't hot right now.

You can't really

so bad, I wouldn't really sell it to someone.

But when it was going, the hype was so fast. I watched it still hot.
I tell people that I watched two seasons

and never watched it again so many times, and they just never understand.

I got two shows that piss some people off. Yeah.

Go for it.

No, Sopranos is great. Worth every hype.

The Bear. Yeah, that full.
People are turning on The Bear now. The Bear, season one, pretty good.
Everything else? Yeah, no, I think this is a popular takeaway. Okay, all right.
My other is Ted Lasso.

Yeah. Oh, I like that three thousand.
Ted, I don't understand the hype. Don't understand the hype.
It's so true.

It's too heartwarming. Yeah.

My cynical brain is not

ready to watch a show. First two seasons are really good.
It is that pure. It is a perfect show to watch right before bed to get you in a good mindset before bed.
So like that,

for that reason, Ted Lasso is fantastic. but for it to be like, I get what you're saying of like Emmy award, bubble, this, this, and that.
Yeah. It's not that.
It's just a feel-good.

It's basically, it's like a sitcom. It's a feel-good sitcom and that, and it should be treated as such.
Friends.

Yeah, I don't get the hype on that. I don't get the hype on AI.

I feel like at best it's going to just like ruin everyone's life, except for like a few people who will make all the money. Yep.
That's what's going to.

And

I don't get why anyone is like pro-AI. The people that are making AI are like, hey, we need to slow down with AI.
This is going to be really bad. Right.

And it's like, dude, you run the company that makes AI. Right.

You just stopped doing it. Right.
So

I don't understand anyone who's

saying,

this is incredible what they're doing, the work they're doing with AI. I feel like this could be really bad for everyone.

I think their mindset is like, well, I have to do it because if I don't do it, someone else is going to. Yeah.
Yeah. Or does nobody do it? Yeah, just everyone stopped doing it.

Running, like running, running. Yep.

You love doing that. No, miles.

Miles. You just texted me two days ago.
You're like, I just ran 20 miles. It sucks.
Memes runs a lot.

And then for some reason, every time he finishes a run, he's just like, I just ran this many miles. Because it sucks.
It's the worst. It is the worst.
I think anything over a mile is overhyped. Yeah.

Maybe even like 100 yards. Do you have any others, Zach? Running is bad.
Running is very bad. Yeah.

Overhyped. Something else I think that might be overhyped is

I'm going to go with. Zach had Korean barbecue.
I am overhyped. I don't understand

food. Yeah, I do too.
I said no because I do understand the hype because I like it. I almost took it after you said it.
That would have been

fucked up. I was helping you understand how to do that.
It's an excellent pick because cooking your own food when you're at a restaurant. Why? I don't understand it.

I kind of like it better than hibachi. Definitely.
Oh. Yeah.

Good Korean barbecue. Well, so good.
I don't know, man. Hibachi is so good.
Well, if you go to a good Korean barbecue place, the guy will come to your table and cook it for you. Yeah.

That I'm in on.

I'm just out on cooking my own food. So they've got Korean barbecue where you don't cook it and you eat it.
Yes. That's like upscale Korean.

I was unaware of those places. I've actually seen the ones where you craft your own meal.
Remember

out on it? Bonchong was so good. So good.
What about dressing fashionably?

Might be a personal one. I don't know.
Yeah, I think.

I don't get it. I get.
I get. oh, you want to look nice? Yeah, I get the hype.
Why? I get the hype on that one. I can't do it, but I get the hype on that.
I wish I could do it.

Yeah, I wish I could pull it off. Like spending minutes at a time thinking about what you're going to wear that day.
Why?

Or why don't you just go into your closet when it's dark and then grab the two things that are closest to you and put those on? I don't get the hype on like super expensive clothes.

Like when someone's like, oh, he's got like a $3,000 like bomber jacket on. It's like,

why?

You could go to the gap

and just get one for like forever 21

take you to salvation army yeah

uh okay good mount rush war yeah i feel like that was good gonna piss some people off but that's fun open-ended definitely people there's gonna be some some upset people for sure being an adult is so funny you just hate being an adult i just i just you're like the hype on it you're like roofy but i understand being an adult i just don't understand why everyone wanted to rush there so quickly yeah but you're more but that's what i'm saying like you don't it wasn't like you rushing there to get quickly you're just mad that you're an adult now I'm not mad at I just not all the aspects are the best yeah what would you say is like the perfect age if you were to freeze yourself at one age

uh

I like 27 or yeah 20 I like 27 so far what 27 is cool wait no but what about but you're an adult

I think

nine

adult nine is a pretty good age I think nine might be the perfect age where you're still having figured out like girls and it's just you and your boys and you're playing doing fun shit You're not like,

there's like bullying doesn't really exist. You're not like self-conscious that much.
Nine. I would say

I think 17.

17, though. Like, you're not legally responsible for everything.
Yeah, but there's like you can get away with fun shit, like reckless, illegal activities. I'm 19 because you're like an adult.

College knocks anything out of you for at least two to three years. Yeah.
Yeah.

This would be a good rushmore. Yeah.
Rushmore eventually. That's ages.
That's ages. All right.
Let's get you

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okay we now welcome on many time recurring guest our good good friend colleague it is coach john gruden and it's about about to be football season.

And, Coach, we figured we're all here down in Missouri together. Let's get you on.
Let's get us pumped for football.

Let's start with right now. This is the time.
Do you have a little bit of an itch? Are you feeling an itch? I saw some quotes. Do you want to go coach in the SEC?

Is this the time of year where you're like, man,

I want to get back out there? This is the best time of year if you're a coach. I mean, you practice twice a day.
You meet all night. Everybody's undefeated.
All the players are competing for jobs.

You got a new nucleus of players. You got new free agents, draft picks.
It's just exciting putting your team together and taking the next step. And I've had a chance to visit some really cool camps.

I can't wait till we kick it off. So down at the FFCA, the Fired Football Coaches Association, I know that you guys have, you got your film rooms, you got your grease boards, you got everything there.

Do you have whistles? Do you still blow a whistle every now and again? No. Do you miss it? I never really used a whistle.
You know, I was a quality control coach.

I was the guy that had the whistle, that blew the whistle for the play to end or quit fighting or whatever, or the horn blows for the next period. I was the horn guy.

But now when you become the head coach, that's one of the good things. You just say, hey, blow the whistle or hit the horn.
I like that. Did you ever accidentally hit the horn? Oh, shit.

I've made a lot of mistakes, probably. Yeah.
Did you ever jump into a pile to stop a fight? No, I never did that.

We did have a quarterback kind of get involved one day, and I got involved there, but nothing stupid. No.
All right.

So, from our perspective, the fans' perspective, how much stock should we take in preseason? Both reports from camp and also the actual games?

Should we be staying calm? Like if I'm reading something and it's like, oh, Caleb Williams is overwhelmed or this guy's not looking good,

how much do you actually take stock in what the reports are out of camp? Yeah, not very much. Okay, good.
No, I really don't. I think

you're in the teaching phase.

You're looking at different lineups, different combinations. It's hard.
I remember the Indianapolis Colts might have been the worst preseason team I have ever seen.

And Peyton Manning and the Colts would come out of the shoot and win five straight.

So I don't put a lot of stock in the preseason games,

but you go see practice like I did. I went to Baltimore.
I went to Detroit. I saw Tampa Scrimmage, Tennessee live.
You get a better indication.

Who was the most impressive out of all the camps you've been to? Well, Baltimore and Detroit are really good teams. Yeah.
You know, Baltimore is the real deal.

Hardball has established a culture, a winning edge of an environment. And they have this sign that says play like a raven.
They play their asses off, man. They prepare really good.

And I love Dan Campbell, man. I don't like this guy.
I love him. The Lions have exactly what you're looking for when it comes to attitude, work ethic, and Groot and Grinders.

This might be a dumb question. When you're taking over a program, how long would you say it takes to change the culture? Well, you got to change the coaching staff.

You got to make changes on the roster. You got to have your leaders on your team be the best players.
That's when you have a great culture.

When you go through the locker room and your best players are the best workers and the leaders on the team, those are the cultures that work.

Is there a sign when you can feel like, all right, the culture's changed? Maybe not from a win, but just like the vibe in the locker room. Can you feel it? Like, hey, we've done it.

We've changed this. We've molded this in the John Gruden culture.
Yeah, I can feel it. No doubt.
Do you have a moment that you remember whether

well? We had to establish the culture really two different times with the Raiders. The first time, there were four players in the offseason program.
No one wanted to even be in the building.

I remember Chester McLaughlin came into me. He says, You better trade me because I'm going to kick down every block you build.
We had a bad thing going there.

But when we got Rich Gannon, he came in with this glass-eating barbed wire attitude, man.

He was a really game-changing locker room, playmaking, presence badass. And when you get that and you get another one,

it starts to gravitate that way. And really, it all starts.
If you have the quarterback, the signal caller on defense, the head coach, everybody speaking and breathing the same fire, you got a chance.

I remember Bill Parcel said, like, change everything about the building. Change the carpets out.
Did you ever do that? Did you like redecorate?

And you're like, we got got to do something, maybe get a new receptionist right up front. First person you see, have it be different? Well, to a degree, you know, I don't think that wins you games.

I'm not going to argue with the great Bill Parcells, but I remember Ray Perkins, when he got the Tampa Bay job, he put the Bucs on the different side of the field. And people said, don't do that.

That's the sun side, man. The sun sets on the visitors.

Sometimes you make changes for the sake of making changes.

It may backfire on you, but you have to make changes, but you got to fix the roster. You got to fix the system of football that you're running and how we practice and prepare.

So I want to know more about Detroit because they're fascinating to me. They lost both their coordinators this offseason.
Dan Campbell is an offensive guy.

Let's not forget, like, he appears to be a defensive guy because he's jacked and he's aggressive. The guy's an offensive guy.
What are they doing to replace Ben Johnson?

And what do you see in their offense for this year? Well, John Morton was there with Ben Johnson, putting the offense in. John Morton was with us.
He was with Sean Payton, with the Broncos.

He's a hell of a coach. Morton has been in Detroit with Dan Campbell, laying the foundation of the offense that Ben Johnson called.

What Detroit has is, is, like you said, Dan Campbell, a lot of people don't realize. I was there.
He sits in the offensive meetings. He's calling the plays.

He's all over the execution of the entire offense, run game, pass protection, the routes.

But John Morton, Mark Brunel, they got Montgomery still there, Teshard Choice, all the other coaches are still there. The big thing the Lions have to address, I think, is Ragnow is gone at center.

They moved Glasgow into center, and they got two new guards, Mahogany at left guard and a rookie potentially at right guard. That's a challenge, man.
Yeah, because that's the strength of their team.

Yes, it is. Quarterback's a drop back passer.
You know, Big Cat. He ain't running around dodging and dipping and ducking.
He needs a firm pocket. Taylor Decker's had injuries at left tackle.

You know, the right tackle is one of the best in the business, but they have some issues on the offensive line. They have to prove that they can handle for 17 weeks.
NFL MVP this year.

Shit, after seeing Jamar Gibbs, man, I mean,

Saquon Barkley, how are you going to not say that name? But I just love Joe Burrow. I voted for Burrow last year.
You love Burrow. Well, I should have said that.

I've been saying this is going to be a time. I met him with you at the Super Bowl.
I got nervous meeting him. I felt like I was meeting, you know, one of my favorite celebrities in life.

I wanted to ask for his autograph. That's how good his film is, man.
I think he should have won the MVP last year, and I know everybody's going to go, aha.

I mean, this guy's close to winning a triple crown, man. Pass completion percentage, yards, touchdowns, and he gets out of trouble.
He is tough as hell, and he's such a cool guy, man.

If they get a good defense, I'm not saying great.

If they get a good defense and get off to a good start, which they've never done, but they do open with Cleveland and Jacksonville, I think if they win those two games, look out for Burrow and the Bengals.

And speaking of, we said that, you know, you don't take a lot of stock in training camp, but the Bengals are changing it up this year.

They're playing Joe Burrow and the starters in preseason now because they've started so slow.

Which probably should help. Don't get Burrow hurt in the preseason, or there'll be a lot of changes in Cincinnati.
I don't know how much action I put him through, but they look great against Philly.

I mean, they went right down the field. Jamar Chase looks good.
How much do you really need to see from them? I hope their defense plays the whole game in a couple of these preseasons.

They have to fix that side of the ball. Al Golden, the ex-Notre Dame coordinator, is there.
That's going to be interesting to see how it all unfolds. Rate this take of how dumb it is.

Someone in sports media said we should just not have training camp or preseason. They should just go into week one so that way no one gets injured.
Yeah, that's really smart. Yeah.

I mean, look, it's an idiot, right? Yeah, well, that's a moron. Let's go play the Masters.
Nobody hits a ball. I mean, you got to practice.

He's not even listening right now. Yeah, no,

said that. Who would you think? Max said that.
I'm not going to argue with Max. He'll kick my ass.
He's a football champion. Max.

You know,

I just, I think once you minimize reps, the repetition is the mother of learning. You know, you got a whole new nucleus of players.
You got new free agents. You got to look at the Minnesota Vikings.

Here's a team that won 14 games last year. If you put them on paper, they're going to have 15, 10, 15 new starters.
I mean, it's a circus in Minnesota. And if you're just going to show up and play,

well,

I wouldn't be surprised based on what's happening in football. Does Aaron Rodgers have anything left?

I never doubt a guy. I grew up with Bill Walsh, and Bill Walsh used to say, if the guy's played great before, there's a chance he could play great again.
Let's bring him in. Bill Walsh.

That sounds like a gambler's mother. Bill Walsh would bring him in.
He would bring him in in a second. You know, we got Hacksaw Reynolds, Matt Millen.

A lot of players would come in towards the end of their career and light it up one more time. I just don't know about the Steelers' Steelers' offensive line, man.
Yeah.

I mean, they're going to move their right tackle to left tackle. The right tackle is going to be the first round pick from two years ago.
They got a young center, a young right guard.

I don't know who the running back is. And let's see.
Hayward wants a new

contract.

TJ Watts not getting younger.

And they got Slay and they got Ramsey. They got some guys.
Do they still have that shutdown? you know, mentality. They got a lot to prove, but they got the coach.
That's your guy.

If they can get off to a good start, it would be huge in Pittsburgh. I always feel like with defensive players in Pittsburgh, you just put the jersey on them and they become better.

They're just instantly a better player. Yeah.

Have you seen Mike Tomlin since you were sitting next to Jersey Jerry in the gambling cave and he said Mike Tomlin has a pussy for a dick? Well, no,

I try not to.

When Jersey Jerry's around, man, I think I get a free pass. I think people understand.

I tried to tell him. I remember the moment I was just like, Jerry, coach and Mike Tumman are like good, good friends.
And he just was like, oh, my bad, I guess. But he didn't really care.
Yeah.

No, I like the Steelers. I think the AFC North is going to be interesting.
I think the Bengals, I love the Ravens.

You know, and I think the Steelers with the

crowd they have, the veteran crowd they have, if they can start off good and get some mojo going, it could be interesting. What about a surprise team?

A team that wasn't great last year, but you think that you would buy stock if they're on the stock market? Yeah, team on the rise, I think, is Carolina. Yeah.
We got them in the Super Bowl. Yep.
I'm

going to beat Bryce Young with Barstool Sports at the Super Bowl, and I did not know I liked him as much as I did. And when you look at his last three or four games, five games, it was impressive.

I love the additions they've made to their team on defense. They get Brown back who was injured.
They get Patrick Jones, who can rush the passer from the Vikings.

They added this big brown nose tackle, Bobby Brown from the Rams.

They're lying back in cores of concern because Josie Jewell just got hurt, but they can score. They got some guys on their offensive line that will knock your ass off, man.

They got 2,000-yard backs, Hubbard, and they get this kid from Dallas.

He had 1,100 yards. No one knows his name.
So they got 2,000-yard backs, and they got some big-time receivers. What about the 49ers?

I feel like we haven't talked at all about the 49ers this offseason because they've lost some guys.

It's kind of a team that's evolving from the teams that we saw making it, you know, deep runs in the playoffs for the past five years. But would you still think that they're going to be a contender?

They will. They'll be a contender because Purdy, even though he's polarizing to some people, the guy makes plays, man.
He's tough as hell. They got him signed for the long term.

They got to get Ayuk back, I think. Yeah.
You know, Trent Williams has to be healthy. McCaffrey, I mean, their best players all get hurt at the same time.
Now, they lost seven out of eight games.

Their defense wasn't very good last year. Right.
And getting those kids that they drafted, the big defensive lineman from Georgia in the first round should be a start.

Getting Salah back, Salah back as the defensive coordinator. We'll see.
But they lost Hofunga. They lose Dre Greenlaw.
They're in transition a little bit on defense.

I also want to talk to you about the Rams in that division. So the Rams are really interesting to me because I feel like they played great football at the end of the season last year.

They gave the Eagles probably the best test that they had in the playoffs. Oh my pinky team.
They were

too pinky team.

And they seem to be primed and ready to go. obviously, McVay is a great coach, but now Matt Stafford is spending all of his time in like a hyperbaric chamber, not getting on the field.

And I feel like, obviously, without him, they're not going to be able to do that much this year.

Have you ever gone into a situation where in training camp, you've got your quarterback and he just hasn't taken a single rep because of injury concerns?

And then you roll him out there and you say, okay, we're good. No, and you just said it.
I mean, Stafford, he's the key to all the coaches. I mean, you're a great coach when Matt Stafford's healthy.

Yeah. I saw the Rams without Stafford a couple of years ago.
They're last in the league on third down. They can't make a yard.
Yeah. The Rams are not very good at all without Stafford.

I mean, let's just face it. That guy's a hell of a talent throwing the ball.
That's a real concern, man. Real concern.

No one really knows the exact nature of his health, but he's not even going through individual drills yet. Did you see the chamber they got him staying in? No, I don't pay attention to that.

It's like a glass colour. Are you going to go with Stetson Bennett? I mean, no, no, Jimmy G.

Devontae Adams got Jimmy G again throwing them. There you go.
They're not going to be the same without Matt Stafford. He's that good.

He is awesome, man. And there's a step down, big step down if he's not there.
Do I have to be concerned at all about Caleb Williams?

Well. Did you see anything you liked last year? I saw some things I liked, saw some things I didn't like.
I liked it. I mean, his deep ball passing, if you just look at the statistics.

I've really gotten into these PFF stats. His deep ball accuracy, his overall accuracy was not good.
Yeah. His accuracy was not good.
The clock in his head has to speed up, man.

He held the ball too long at Oklahoma. He held it too long at Southern County.
He's holding it too long now. How do you coach that?

Hard.

That's what Ben Johnson is doing.

Ben Johnson's going to be tough on this kid. Now, Caleb's got a lot of talent, quick arm.
It's a brand new system. He's going to be under the center.

He hasn't been under the center very much in his life. And the rhythm of playing quarterbacks completely different.

Ben Johnson wants to run the ball from the underneath the center and it's going to set up some wicked play action passes, man. And that's where the chunk plays are.

I think that's what Ben wants to do. So Caleb's going to have to learn some new fundamentals, some new rhythm of the position, but he's got to come through.
This guy's got a lot of pressure on him.

I hope Bear fans are a little bit patient early, but he has to come through, man. The Bears have got to have great play from the quarterback in the division area.

Yeah, what did you think when the story came out that there were weeks last year where he was basically watching film by himself with no offensive coordinator, no guy showing him what to do, that he was basically like, is that coaching malpractice when you see that story?

That's why you have vomit bags on the airplane. You know what I mean? You want to puke when you hear stuff like that.
That's sickening.

If there's any truth to that, that's the worst thing I've ever heard. I mean, you know, I've heard comments out of his book that are alarming and disappointing.
You know,

I don't know what to read, what to believe, and all that stuff. I just know this.
Ben Johnson runs a very sophisticated offense, man. They're going to be aggressive.

They're going to go for it on fourth down.

This guy uses a lot of creative gadget plays. They asked the quarterback to do a lot at the line of scrimmage, fixing problems, communicating problems.
I'm anxious to see it.

I was disappointed he didn't play against Miami. He was down there with the sunglasses on, having a good time.

I thought badgent looked great. Yeah.
He really did. Yeah,

the story is that they did a pretty intense scrimmage like two days before. He got a bunch of reps there.
But I agree. I wish you'd played.
I mean, why not? You're a young quarterback.

Any opportunity is good practice. I think just to jog out there in a new system with a new play caller in your ear, I think you might want to get some reps at the beginning of a game.

He has a lot to prove. He definitely has the talent to back it up.
He's got a very interesting supporting cast, too. I mean, the two tight ends.

I haven't seen the young tight end from Michigan yet, have you? Yeah, Colson Loveland. Yeah, no, he had a nice catch early in the first preseason game.

Do you like also Ben Johnson, attention and detail?

People think that he repainted the Bears' end zones for the first time in a long time because it can confuse the opponents when you have the Navy on Navy. Do you like that?

I haven't thought that hard about it, but I like that.

So what are the Navy on Navy?

They basically were showing some of the plays where the Lions,

the goalpost is the Honolulu Blue. The end zones are Honolulu blue.
It's hard to see the opposing team. So they repainted the Bears.
They might not know where to go to score touchdowns.

No, I'm saying like when they're looking downfield, like the jerseys blend in with the end zone. Got it.

The quarterback doesn't see the defenders. I like that.
Yeah. Like trust everything.
It might be a little bit of a like.

I have also bought into this hype of like, there was a story that Caleb's headset went out and Ben Johnson gave him like a talking to about how you have to have like four plays you love.

Theory Theory might be that he actually took the headset out and he's trying to overload him with stuff.

We might be in that phase where like every mistake the Bears make, we're like, that's just Ben Johnson being a genius. I'll admit that.

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Use code stool25 for 20% off your order. Okay, back to Coach Gruden.

So when it comes to coaches that are coaching like rookie quarterbacks, last year Sean Payton Bonex.

Sean Payton's got like a very, I don't know if it's complicated, but it's there's a lot of words in his offense, right? When he's getting a play call in, you got to memorize like 14 words in a row.

Do you dump things down for a rookie quarterback? Or are you like, hey, we're going to do it my way. You have to be able to learn this stuff.
And you're going to struggle until you get there.

But when you get there, you'll be fine.

Well, that's a great question. I think if you have a lot of confidence in your staff and your teaching ability,

and you're bringing in some of these quarterbacks, they're sharp guys. I mean, it's not like this is rocket scientist.
Now, Peyton does a lot with verbiage. There's no question.

I remember when Derek Carr went to New Orleans, they kept Sean's verbiage. And I sat in several meetings, and it's that old Bill Parcel stuff.

And a lot of the words with the other play they're calling two at a time, it gets to be more than 14. It might be 30 words, you got to say.
But it all makes sense. It's all teachable.

Bo Nick's had no problem with it.

Harvey, the running back that I'm hearing about up there in camp right now, has had no problem learning it.

If you're a great teacher and you got guys that are great students, you can do a lot on offense, man. And that's what Sean Payton's looking for.
Did you have to evolve your method of teaching?

Like, did you have to become,

you had to learn at some point, like, hey, I know what I'm talking about offensively, but I need to be able to teach these guys how to do what I want them to do and make it easier that way.

Did you change anything to make yourself like a better educator? Well, I tried. I mean, my mom was a school teacher.

I tried to keep it interesting, tried to install it a very specific way where we could package plays together so it was teachable.

But I let everybody know from the very beginning, we're going to have a lot of offense. We're going to have different personnel groupings, two tight end sets, three tight end sets, no tight end sets.

Single back, two back, no back, up tempo, different speeds. And if you can't keep up, you won't be here.
And the players respond to that. I think they love it.
And that's how I would always do it.

I think when you dumb it down, I think you're playing into the defense's hands. This is a hard league.
It's a long season.

And I think being able to attack a specific defense each week with different things that they haven't been able to prepare for makes you better. How were you as a student?

I was an average student, but when it was coming to football, I can still remember a lot of the players, statistics, plays I've called. I have a photographic memory when it comes to what I like.

Right. You know, I can remember what I like.
Some of it, I knew in ninth grade, I'm not going to use this trigonometry. What the hell am I doing? Yeah,

what is the importance of this class? I'm sitting in there going, I am never going to need this. Was there a year? Because

I think it was maybe seventh or eighth grade that I was like, yeah, this math thing isn't for me. It like hit me where I was like, I'm never going to be good at this.

And it's just like, I got to figure out a different way. I was great with numbers.
I can count to 100 by threes and fours and sixes as fast as anybody.

I have a very good mind when it comes to normal mathematics. But once you started getting into algebra and calculus,

I'm like, I've never been in the same room as calculus. I have never met calculus.
I have no interest in it. I just lost it.
Wait, do sixes to 100.

6, 12, 18, 24, 30, 36, 42, 48, 54, 60, 66, 72, 78, 84, 90, 96, 102. That was really good.
You know what I love?

The threes and the sixes?

That's just football numbers. Yeah.
Yeah. You're just keeping a score on a scoreboard.

You naturally learn that. Yeah.
You gravitate towards that problem pretty much. Yeah.

I got rapid fire for you. I just want like a one-sentence answer.

I'm going to name some places and you tell me just what first comes to mind. Okay.
All right. Norman, Oklahoma.

Tornadoes and Sooners. Okay.
Auburn, Alabama.

Man. If you like any of these places, you can say.
I do like Auburn.

I like Auburn, Alabama. I've been there a few times.
I would say

it's a hardcore football town. Okay.

Gainesville, Florida. Gainesville, Florida.

Home of the national champion Florida Gator basketball team. And

a really cool place. Okay.

Let's see.

About, there's a cool town in Arkansas, isn't there? Yeah.

You guys are are getting that supped in here. Bayville, Arkansas,

Bayetville, Arkansas. Yeah.
Yep.

Love it. What about L.A.?

L.A.? Yeah. Los Angeles? Yeah, where USC is.

I'm not a fan. Okay.
All right. So it sounds like what about, oh, I think Gainesville was the winner there.
Big guy, close your ears. What about

he loved it when we went up there? You like Madison? You guys are coaching. You know, there's things called analogies.
You know, I really like to use the analogy of dreams and nightmare.

I want everybody to know at Georgia, you're the measuring stick. You're a tombstone game.
You go to Georgia and win between the hedges. We'll put 14 stickers on your helmet, man.

We're going to give you a raise, man. You're a head coach.
You go into Georgia and win. You can get any job in the country.

So you have to understand when you play at a place like Georgia, you better be at your best because the other team, they're coming in there with the dreams, man, of knocking you off and taking what you have.

You got to put your foot on their throat and their dreams. Yeah.
Not today, man. But that was the analogy I was creating.
You see, that's all it was.

When we went up to Madison for a spring practice, there was a moment when I was walking you around town. We were on State Street.

There was a moment where we both looked at each other's eyes and were just like, Should we just get fucked up today?

And it almost happened because there was the fight. It was a beautiful sunny day, spring day, like crisp, 65 degrees.
We almost just found the nearest beer pong game and just like, fuck it. Let's just

tell you what, man. You know, you go watch a spring practice, right? You're right there.
The pads are popping.

God, you're right, man. There's nothing like some of these Big Ten SEC towns.
They're all football. I know.
It's just freaking awesome, man. And it's that time of year, man.
What about most?

Malisek saw it. He was also Malisek.
I think Malisek wants you to get back into coaching. Because when we went up to Madison, the other story was

we get to the spring practice, and it was like we're standing on the sideline and I'm talking to someone and I look back to my right to see if like Gruden's next to me. He's just in the huddle.

You just were in the huddle like had a play sheet. You just like gravitate towards the huddle.
Any group of dudes, you're ready to just pump up in a huddle.

And then Malasek was like, what's this guy's job? It was Fickle's right-hand man. I was like, yeah, he's just, he does everything for Fickle.
He's like, oh. And the light bulb went off.

And he's like, that could be me. That could be me at a big-time college campus.
It's just exciting to be back out on the field.

This is what Malasek,

he loves to compete, man. We went up to Jacksonville to watch the Jaguars.
I really wanted to see Liam Cohen, what he's doing. Travis Hunter, the Heisman Trophy.
We talked about him a little bit.

Listen, we love him. So I watched this carefully.
And before practice, he's over on this field with their secondary coach.

And I'm looking at it, and that's Ron Milas, my old secondary coach, coaching Travis Henry on defense. Then the horn blows, blows, they stretch.

Then the horn blows, they go to their first period of practice. And he's with Edgar Bennett, their receiver coach, my old receiver coach.

So I was telling my old coaches, I said, you guys got more pressure on you guys than anybody in the league to make this kid Henry our hunter. He's got to come in and have a great year.

Yeah, Malisek could be your Jordan, your Jordan hollow second. Yeah.
Like Bill Belichick.

He just handle everything, screw everything up for you big time.

Would you hire him? Would you hire Malisek as you write him in

if you took another coaching job? He'd be one of the first guys I hire. What's the percentage you coach again?

I wasn't prepared for this big cat.

I got a great job right now. I don't want you to selfishly.
I want to work with you forever.

I enjoy going to high schools. Malasak and I, we're trying to help keep high school football alive down in Chicago and Tampa.
We're supporting some of these high schools, but

shit, I don't know what I want to do yet.

I like living in Tampa.

tampa i'm helping a lot of guys privately on the side and i do know i could help a team and uh hopefully one of these days i get another shot to do it yeah how many uh he looked like he was closing the door and then he's like uh just leave it a little open how many boxes did you say that you got

you know what we have opened one a day for 15

Five days, 170 days. Jesus.
What's your favorite box? I don't go there because they're all great. Okay.

You know, I love all my my

bad ones. You love all your problem is, you see, is it's it's it's a box that someone took the time to put together and send to you.

And you got to open it. You know, but you don't want to open three a day and not give the team their day in the sun.
I mean, we take a lot of interest in these teams.

Are there some boxes that you see and you're like, I should, I'll open this one gently, delicately. Yeah, I keep waiting for a box of rocks or, you know, something to jump out of there.

It's not so pleasant. But are there some like you get deep in the box? You're aggressively getting into the box? Yeah, some of these boxes, they fire me up.

Start digging into it. Start digging into that Tennessee box, that Notre Dame box.
Oh, yeah. I mean, I almost jumped in a North Carolina State box.

These boxes are unbelievable.

But you're right. You should, like, what if someone, what if someone did like a trick box? You might want to start wearing protection before you get in the box.

Well, you know, for Christmas, for Christmas. I don't know where that box has been.
For Christmas, my brothers and I, we always gave foolers. So, you know, you'd get a box and

you'd open it up and there might be a rock or some dirty laundry in there. I keep waiting for one of those boxes.

Yeah, the foolers. I got a question for you about our coworker, Mike Kadick.
So when you first met Kadick, you just crawled right up his butt. You were just like, get down to your three-point stance.

Let's see what that's. Oh, I was right about Kadick from the very beginning.
I seen him doing pass sets on Bourbon Street backwards with his shirt off. Yeah.
You know, you keep him at his wheelhouse.

That guy's spectacular. But I'm most proud of my man, Zach.
Yeah. Yeah.
All right. Because we discovered Zach.
I should say Dave Portnoy discovered Zach and Mount Millet Jake discovered Zach.

Yeah, Zach, get over here. Get over here, Zach.
So for people who don't know, the way we found Zach is he applied for Coach Gruden's assistant position.

Everyone, our listeners know Zach very well by now. Let's just say he was nervous, very nervous,

had some self-miscommunication problems.

That's his quote.

But he got a second shot during March Madness. He's been a star since.

Do you see him and you're like, man, that's the one that got away? Because

I would feel that way if I were you. Well, we feel like our bowl was too small for a superstar like Zach.

I mean, we just, Jake and I, we do football stuff and we kind of stay in our lane, but we knew Zach had presence. I mean, Zach needs his own show, his own agent.

Zach needs a lot of real estate, and I'm just so proud and happy for you, man. I appreciate all the kind words, Coach.

I need none of those things whatsoever. I was just very grateful to even interview

for the position. Thank you so much for the kind words.

Let's say you're at the combine and you're talking to a guy. And the guy says, hey, you know what, Coach? I got to be honest with you.
I'm not much of an intercourse guy. Good thing or bad thing?

That's not a question I can win.

That's the one thing I've learned. Yeah, he's smart.
You know. Well, you didn't fully learn it because we just did five minutes on boxes.

I would say as long as you can play the position, I would love to have you on. Okay, because Zach is a self-proclaimed, not much of an intercourse guy.

Depends on the day.

Maybe not all the time.

Would it have changed your mind about Zach if you had known he had an incredible eagle tattoo across his chest a business tat he's got a massive one

it's an eagle tat yeah yeah i got yeah there's an eagle tattoo there all the way across

let's see my shirt up yeah dump them loud just just flash them it's it's nothing crazy

we all got a couple tattoos yeah he always says that

i mean it is in this room but not all rooms you could be like we all got a couple tattoos and i apologize for the build there i gotta i got to get back in the gym. That's on me.

Well, I've heard you're eating a lot of chicken McNuggets. I mean,

not so bad. Is it bad? It is.
I got to reel it in. Zach, do you have a question about football? Maybe the Bucs? So what are we thinking about the Bucs odds this year, Coach? Love the Bucs.

Looking good? Yep. We saw him the other day scrimmage the Tennessee Titans.
I worry about the first couple games because Tristan Worfs is going to be out. He's a game changer, man.
He's good.

But I saw their first-round pick from Ohio State. I did not know he was built like that.

They're going to be really good. They're going to score on offense.
I think Hassan Reddick comes in to rush the passer. I love the addition of these two young corners.

Morrison from Notre Dame, Parrish. I like the Bucs to easily win the South, and I think they're going to the NFC Championship game.

Don't forget, they kicked Philadelphia's ass last year. Yeah.
33 to 16. I mean, they kicked their butt, and they played the Eagles early this year.
This is a good team.

Four straight division titles they've won, and I think they're going to be better this year. So what about the rookie quarterbacks this year? Is there one that you're most intrigued by?

One that you say, I think I like, I don't know, Jackson Dart. Well, Jake and I, you know, we loved Will Howard.

He got hurt in Pittsburgh in practice, but we loved him. We were shocked he went in the sixth round, and we like Jackson Dart.
He is one tough dude, man.

I called him like the evil knievel of quarterbacks. I like that.

We really like those two guys. Quinn Ewers got off to a tough start with Miami, but Howard was a guy.
I was really surprised. Slipped till the sixth round.
I like him a lot.

And what about some of the second-year guys? If you were to take, let's just go with Drake May,

Michael Pennix, Bo Nix.

I'm also excited to see Penix.

You know, he played good last year. I know they went one and two in his three starts, but they lost those two games in overtime.
I think they scored 40 points against Carolina in one of those losses.

He has a beautiful passing stroke. He's going to play indoors, perfect environment in Atlanta.
They got some firepower outside.

I think Raheem's got the defense solved a little bit. They got some guys now.

I like Pennix, and I love Bijan running the rock. I think Atlanta's dangerous.
I know that I think he told us this story, but did you meet with Kirk Cousins at all this offseason?

We always get together. So does he still have a little juice left?

Because that feels like a big domino that could potentially fall for a team that maybe has some aspirations for a playoff run, and they lose a quarterback early.

That's a guy who, like, I think he's still got, especially, I think the Achilles thing for a guy his age, that's going to take a year.

And I think last year was the year and I think he's probably got something left. Yeah, there's no doubt he has stuff left.
And you're right about the Achilles. He wasn't ready to go.

He had no movement back there. And they were the fewest, they took the fewest play action pass attempts in the league last year.
I mean, Cousins comes from Minnesota. They led the league.

That was his game. So I think the offense was different for him.
The injury injury was a problem. I think he lost a little bit of his confidence because of his footwork, his setups.

He couldn't finish throws. But I think you're right.
I think anybody gets injured, God forbid, anything bad happens to any of these teams, they have a nice chip there.

But the contract is going to be a very sophisticated problem because that's guaranteed money. You're talking about $42 million guaranteed.

And I wouldn't take a pay cut if they said, hey, we'll trade you if you take a $20 million cut. Yeah.
I don't think that's happening. Yeah.

You were talking about the Vikings there. I'm interested to know how you would break it down for like a six-year-old because we always say you go have a cup of coffee with Kevin O'Connell.

He'll make you a better quarterback. He'll get you back in the game.
I feel that way about Daniel Jones. Just he spent, I don't know, two months there last year.
I'm like, Daniel Jones might be fixed.

Kevin O'Connell might have fixed him. What is it about the Vikings and Kevin O'Connell that makes it so easy for a quarterback?

I wouldn't go that far with Daniel Jones, but I do like Daniel Jones. I would think this, that, you know, the Vikings are built to throw the ball.

They got great receivers, arguably the best receiver in a game. And I think Addison is a top 10 receiver.
He's a hell of a player. They have to run the ball.

They got their asses kicked the last two games, 31 to 9 to Detroit with all the marbles on the table. Then they go to the playoffs and they get sacked nine times.
They lose 27 to 9. You know,

they really got their butt kicked. So they've gone into free agency and made wholesale changes.
I think they want to run the ball.

They bring in Jordan Mason from the 49ers with Aaron Jones. I think they're 30th in the league two years in a row.
Last year, I think they were 19th in running the ball.

But I think they got to run the ball. They got to improve in short yardage, third and one, fourth and one.
I think they got to get some better time of possession.

But I love O'Connell's passing game, but I think they got to find ways to get not only in the playoffs, they got to move forward, man.

And I don't know, McCarthy, I know he's an athletic guy. I'm anxious to see it because I didn't see a whole lot of him at Michigan really throwing the ball like the Vikings are known to throw it.

Right. Yeah.
What, um,

are we buying anything to like, I'm not going to

discount the Chiefs. They're very, very good.
They're going to probably win the AFC West.

Do you think this is the year, though, that maybe not them taking a step back, but the PAC kind of catching up with them?

Because look, there's only been one team that's ever gone to four straight Super Bowls. That was the Buffalo Bills in the 90s.
It's hard. That's a lot of football they've been playing.

There's a lot of getting back up on the mountain. Do you think maybe this is a year it's someone else's year in the AFC? I like Denver in the AFC West.

I mean, I think getting Hafonga and Dre Greenlaw, they had 60-plus sacks last year on defense. I love this R.J.
Harvey. I'm hearing good things about Bryant, this young receiver.

They've got a lot of continuity, year two or three of Peyton's system.

I think they're pretty good. I think it all depends really on the Chiefs' offensive line.
You know,

the kid Simmons, I believe his name is, they took in the first round. Will he be ready to go?

I mean, the offensive line, they had Tooney playing left tackle that. Yeah.

That's tough sledding, man. Yeah.
So we'll see. If the offensive line has improved, how healthy are the receivers? You know, Rice was hurt last year.
He's a hell of a receiver. Is he healthy?

Worthy will be better this year?

You got, I saw you had Taylor Swift on your show. What was Taylor saying? Taylor was saying

that Taylor is mostly a big fan of the Ryan Rosillo podcast. Yeah, and more fancy.
First, tune in there if you want to hear more. More NBA fans.
Like weightlifting. Taylor Swift was

both talk.

Yeah, Midlife Crisis Talk. That's kind of what Taylor Swift is into.

This isn't so much a question, and as your attorney, I advise you not to answer it. I just want to say congratulations.

Oh, well. Yes.
Yeah. You don't have to say anything.
Just congratulations. Yeah.
Good stuff.

Good stuff. We're rooting for you.
We love you. I would love to see you argue at the Supreme Court.

Can we come? If it gets to that point. Painter chests?

Can we come? Yes. Big foam fingers.
Yeah. Let's get back to zip.
We get the fucking stadium pulse going for you.

Nice work. Yeah.
That's my question. I got one last question.

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Zach, how awkward have you felt just still sitting there?

I should have got up. No, you shouldn't.
No.

No, definitely not. No? Yo, yo, you're good.
I even wear glasses like Zach now. Look at that.
They look great, Coach. Those glasses do look great.
That was a great

bump. Yeah.

Do you got any other questions for Coach?

How do you think Zach would have survived in the FFCA? I don't know.

Zach will survive anywhere. That's true.
No, he can adapt. I mean, for him to go to Chicago, okay, and explode onto the scene.
He's got Jaden Daniels rookie of the year-like credentials right now.

I mean, in the history of barstool, who's come on the set? He's a star. Someone more likable than Zach.

I mean, this guy.

I heard the girls. I mean, I saw an interview with them.
They were asking them, I mean, a lot of stuff, man. I mean, no, I'm just appreciated to be a part of the program.

How do you be on the team coach? You might have to show them how to get into a box.

I could do that.

I might send Zach a boxer. Yeah.

Just give him some practice.

No, I just think, I think it's, I think it's a great balance, you know, having Zach with you guys up there.

I think the future's very bright. Well, we're excited for the football season.
We're excited to have you in Chicago a bunch of times, draw up some plays, eat some ice cream.

You haven't gotten to the soft serve machine yet. No.
Yeah, Zach will get you squared away with some ice cream. Jacob and I would love to serve you some of my soft serve ice cream.

We got two flavors for you, Coach, and some toppings. Wow.
That's right. Yeah.
He'll give you some cream. Yeah.
Yeah, I love coming up to Chicago. I want to come up and

I want to come up there and go to that.

The hell's the name of that place? A steakhouse. What's the name of that one? Bivets.
Bivet's really good. It's my favorite place I've ever been, man.
Yep. Bivets is

I feel like I'm in Chicago. Yeah.

Good stuff.

All right, coach. Football's back.
We're excited to see you all season, and you're the best. Thank you.
Do you have an official Super Bowl pick?

Well,

I do.

I love the two bays in the NFC. I love Tampa Bay, not because I'm from there.
I really think they could be big time. I love the Green Bay Packers, man.
I think they have a lot of depth.

I love the receiver they drafted. I love their feature back because he's my guy.
And Aaron Rodgers was 27 when he won his Super Bowl. Favre was 27 when he won his Super Bowl.

And my guy, Jordan Love, is going to be 27 in a couple weeks. I think they have the defense.
They kicker McManus was 20 for 21. They're a hard team to beat on the road in Lambeau late in the year.

I like the Packers, man. Okay, in AFC?

AFC, I'm not going to sway away from the Chiefs just because of the coach and the quarterback. They're that good, and their defense is still solid.

But beware, beware of the Denver Broncos in the West. Yeah.
And I do love the Ravens. Let me say this.
The Ravens and the Bills, we all know the Ravens, Bills, and Chiefs are the favorites.

And until Lamar Jackson or Josh Allen or Mahomes, you know, aren't the quarterback, it's got to be Joe Burrow. It's got to be, you got to keep those five teams in the mix.
Yeah. Yeah.

It's stacked in the air. You know, it's kind of like

that, that to me is the game. If those five quarterbacks are healthy,

they're coming to your house playoff time. Yeah.
All right. Thanks, Coach.
You're the best. Thank you for Zach.
Yes. Thank you for Zach.
Zach, great to see you. One that got away.

I'm happy for you, man. Appreciate that, coach.
Thank you.

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Okay, let's get to Fire Fest of the week.

Henry.

Again,

shout out to Big Cedar. This was a lovely week with the boys.
You got no Fire Fest. Always enjoy being out here.
Not really.

I mean, the only Fire Fest was when I thought I was about to get bit by a rattlesnake and literally shit my pants. Copperheads?

They They were, I was looking for a ball, and a guy came up, and I was finding other balls, and a guy came up and was like, be careful for rattlesnakes.

Look at this picture one we found in that spot yesterday. And I had to like run through 20 yards of

I've never been more scared. I hate snakes.
It's beautiful wildlife. I'm more afraid of you than you are of them.
That's also like, you don't have to, you don't have to justify.

Well, I'm scared of regular snakes. Seeing like I hate snakes, like I, everyone should hate snakes.
Yeah.

The only people who don't hate snakes are weirdos. Snake people cannot be trusted.

It's literally the first story in the Bible.

Don't trust snakes. Yeah, it's the devil.
Don't bite the apple. Although, if you're a true believer, which you are, we know that from Mount Rushmore seasons here, if they bite you, you won't get sick.

Is that true? Yeah. No, yeah, you'll just have to take your rib out of your stomach and then make a woman and then fuck her.

Pretty hot.

Fellas. Wasn't thinking about that.
Kane and Abel and Seth. People forget about Seth.

Yeah, it was great. It's been a great week.
So no Fire Fest besides the Snakes. And the AK.
And the AK, yeah. Still on the AK.
You got no Fire Fest. That's a great week, eh?

It's always a great week.

I don't know if it's just where we are. I'm a little bit of a Lead Pool Golf Course.
But I feel like they built the entire state of Missouri out of a Bass Pro Shop.

Yeah, I think it's where we are because Big Cedar is built by the owners of Bass Pro Shop. Yes, that probably has something to do with it.

Everywhere I look, there's Bass Pro Shop. So it's crazy.
Even on the drive-in, though, like all the stuff kind of seemed Bass Pro shop in the same cinematic universe. Yeah, it's cool.

I mean, the landscape here is awesome. The trees, the rocks, everything.
It's fucking cool here.

Okay, cool. I guess the other one, I mean, it's more, it's Shane's Firefest more than me.
It kind of happened.

You know, we were driving through cliffs to get back to the clubhouse, and I had my sunglasses on, and I drove through a dark

cave, basically.

And it just went pitch black because my sunglasses were on. I just crashed in a wall.
What?

It was, yeah,

you know it was that it was that cave on the the turn yeah no i know and i had my sunglasses on i was like what the fuck and then just like it wasn't i wasn't going too fast but

that was when shane was on the back of the of my cart because i had yans in the uh yeah shane had to it was basically a mile yeah up a cliff yeah yeah

shane on the back of your cart dude shane is a fucking baller he's he was a he was a king with me this week he's he's the man all this golf cart shit makes me realize that's it's a great pick for mount rushmore things you look forward to when you get old.

Just driving golf carts everywhere. Yeah, it is the best way to travel.
The only time Shane and I had a hiccup was when he got out of the cart to fart, which was a respectful move.

Like, shout out Shane, team guy, didn't want to fart in the golf cart, but he farted behind the golf cart and the wind quite literally like picked it up and just stuck it right up my nose.

But that wasn't his fault. Thought that counts.
Yeah.

I took a wrong turn at some point today on a golf cart and ended up, I was just basically on a highway.

i started driving that way and memes memes actually zach yeah you were there yes i was and the golf cart guy was like hey and i i guess i didn't hear him he was like you're going the wrong way and but then you guys followed me that way because the other guy because then the next guy came in and was like all right you can't take the the construction way you got to go this way and then it's just like speed limit 35 carts going like nine tops yeah i i was i i i left it at highway it sounded like a better story but yeah it was a 35 no i like that Yeah.

Got to stepped on Max's story.

Oh, my bad, Max. It's okay.

That was bad recall on me.

Max's storm wasn't bad. We watched Guy's Grocery Games before bed last night.
That was all.

That was good bonding right there. That is good bonding.

Did you mega bed? We did not make a bad mega bed.

You got to have a plan. You know, these people that are just like, we're going to get ingredients and figure it out.
You've never watched Guy's Grocery Games? I've never seen it. Oh, it's awesome.

I love Guy Fieti, too. Yeah, you would love Triple G.
Yeah. Okay.

It was like I went to the bathroom and Max came back. I was like, this is a great episode because it was a champions.
It was like former champions facing off. Oh, shit.
He's like, oh,

yes. Yeah, he's like, you're in for one.
We got a great episode coming. Is that like Supermarket Sweep? Is it the same show? Similar.
I don't know that one, but I do.

I bet it's got way more flavor. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Spicy little.
Catch for you. Yeah, it's an entire reality cooking game show inside of a grocery store that also has a kitchen.
Oh, that's awesome.

So, Guy gives them like a prompt, and they're like, and he's like, three, two, one, go.

And then they have to go and go throughout the grocery store, pick out everything that they need, and then they go cooking. It also sounds like a very easy job for Guy Fieri.

Like, a very easy show for him. Well, yeah, the hard part is being Guy Fieri.
Yeah. Yeah.
Which he's got, he mastered nobody. No, that's what I'm saying.
That's a time ago. Good for Guy.
Yeah.

There'll never be another guy. No, absolutely not.

No, yeah, his son's Hunter and

Arrow. What is his other son's name? Arrow sounds good.
Yeah, I don't know. Blaze.
I don't know what his other son's name is, but yeah,

they'll be cool, but they won't be guy. Yeah, it feels like he might have a tofer for his son.

Topher, maybe a Jackson with an X. Zane.
Pierre. Can you look it up? It's not a Pierre.
It's a Hunter and Ryder.

Ryder. That's good.
You always got to go to the Paw Patrol names. That's when you know.

If he has another kid's Rubble. I like Rubble.
Okay. Rubble's the funniest.
Ryder's pretty good, too. You like Ryder? You're a Ryder guy? Might be a Ryder guy.
Did you grow up on Paw Patrol? No.

I thought we were still talking guy. Oh, no.

Rebel's Paw Patrol. Rubble is the bulldog in Paw Patrol.
Oh,

I thought we were going third, son, guy, new son.

Hunter and Ryder is in Paw Patrol. I don't know if Hunter is in Paw Patrol.
Me neither. Okay.

That was good. A little who's on first there for Paw Patrol.
That was good Paw Patrol.

Okay, PFT, you got a Firefest? I got a couple. First is I'm just, I'm the most dehydrated I've ever been in my entire life.
Dude, I just pissed in the shower. It was like orange.

It was like a color that does not exist in nature. It was like highlighter orange, and I've been chugging water all day long.
Same.

It's like 120 degrees here. I think I've peed three times in two days.
Yeah, I didn't pee yesterday. Yeah.
I didn't pee until I got home to go to bed. And then I was like, okay, time to pee.

I guess I'm pretty hydrated. It doesn't look that orange.
It was a shocking color to see come out of my body. Yeah.
And so I'm chugging waters again.

But yeah, it's like you stand up, you get a little bit dizzy, you're chugging water, can't get ahead of it. I'm like opening up apps on my phone and I'm forgetting why I opened them up.

You know, like it's the electronic version of if you go into a room in your house and you're like, why did I come in here? Yep. Like I'm doing that inside my own phone.
Yeah.

And I feel like I'm trapped in there. So yeah, I just need, I might need to get stuck.
Like, give me an IV bag or something. Yeah.

But yeah, that's one. And then the second is I might have been Wally Pipped.
Uh-oh. I might have been Wally Pipp from my own band.

What happened?

We got a new song coming out. Pup Punk Does.
Okay. It's out today on Friday.
Okay. Something about, I think it's, I think I fell in love with a zombie is the official title.

It's honestly the most sketchy song we've ever written. It's a great song.
Can we put that into the show? We can put it at the end of the show. Yeah.
Yeah, let's drop it in there.

Do we have the rights?

Well, the thing is, I'm going to have to ask Nick because Nick is a fucking G and he wrote this song

with Roan. No, no, A.K.
Hamilton wrote this with Roan and Robbie. And I did play guitar on it, but they wrote the entire thing.
It's the best song we've ever heard. Oh, yeah, you're out.

And I think I'm out, but you might be out. Maybe they'll let me play the song.
Maybe they'll let me tour with them. I've never played it before.
I have,

yeah. So I just recorded a couple of the guitar parts, but it's a fucking awesome song.

And we are going to be playing at Martell's Tiki Bar down the Jersey Shore next Friday, a week from today, with with the Barcelon Beach House. Love that.
Which is going to be fun.

But yeah, I mean, it's, I'm kind of, I'm proud of the guys because Nick wrote an awesome song, but I'm like, damn, they don't need me anymore. No.
Yeah. That's all right.

Your next hit will be a mega hedge. It'll be a smash.
But yeah, put it out the mega bed. It's a good song.
Yo, put out the mega bed the song. Yeah.

Don't let me get in the lab. Yeah.

Yeah.

We have the cover art already. Yeah, mega bed.
I like it. It's bigger than a bed.

It's a mega bed. It's a really big bed.
It's a mega bed.

Okay.

Oh, since we're doing shout-outs, let me do a quick shout-out to our guy, Feites, 37 today. Happy birthday.

And he's got Le Mascots coming out on Sunday night with Tommy, Sass, Nick, KB, a bunch of people behind the scenes, worked really hard on it. Everyone, please watch it.
It's going to be awesome.

Also, crazy that Fights is 37 because I always viewed him as one of the younger guys, and he's 37. He's the the man.

It's getting to me a little bit. All right, time for the Real Fire Fest.
Yeah, that's crazy. Crazy, right? 37.
I thought I was like, whoa, shit. He's 37.
Not to make him feel old right now.

I was saying this over and over, but I always was like, he's so much younger than me. You want to feel old? Hank's almost 40.
Yeah. The clock.
The clock. Oh,

I think you weren't around, but we thought of another new clock.

Wait, maybe you were. Our birthdays.
Okay. My birthday birthday and your birthday.
Yeah, like it's just one day off. Two different clocks.
Yeah.

Countdown to our birthdays. Yes.

All right. Real fire fest.

There's a conspiracy at Pardon My Take to make sure that I do not sleep. And there's two people in the room that are very

guilty. I don't know how deep the conspiracy goes, but we have been here since Tuesday night.
And both nights

I've been woken up and gotten like three hours of sleep. So Tuesday night, everyone heard we had Taylor Swift on the podcast on Wednesday.

Tuesday night, we finished recording, got in bed. I think it was maybe midnight, maybe 11.30.

Fell asleep. I'm sleeping soundly, nice sleep.
I'm like, hey, I'm going to get probably like six, seven hours of sleep. At two in the morning, I have a flashlight directly in my eyeball.

Yeah, flashlight, flashlight was back on. It's two in the morning.
I have the flashlight in my eyes, and Max goes, hey, hey, the podcast is okay,

but I looked it up online and I think we're going to get sued for having Taylor Swift in the title because we had Taylor Swift on the show on Wednesday. What should we do?

I'm asleep. I'm asleep.
I'm dead asleep. Max,

why did you panic about this? Because when I woke up in the morning, thankfully you guys kept it from me because I was trying to sleep to get ready for the invitational.

I woke up to a big text thread being like, are we going to do this? Can we say that? Can we say that? PFT, if you're reading this, unschedule your tweet that you have for tomorrow morning. Yep.

And I asked Max and he was like, yeah, me and Zach,

we just started using AI to try to figure out if we were going to get sued or not. I can only imagine the conversation those two were having trying to protect, trying to put on their lawyer hats.

It was a five-person conversation. It started because memes was basically...
Getting obsessed with quote cards and being like, I can't wait for everyone to get so pissed off about this tomorrow.

Like, he was like, I'm going to have everyone thinking this, this, and this. And it started to make me uncomfortable.
I was like, I don't want to get in trouble. I don't want to get in trouble.

And then Zach heard me saying, I don't want to get in trouble. And then he looked it up.
These are our brightest moments. And what he looked up was like,

very much what I was, we thought very much what we were doing is illegal by deceiving the viewers and thinking that. We did not deceive the viewers.
We had Taylor Swift on the package. Correct.

He was great. Our research told us that that did not matter.

So

Max does this.

Again, I actually.

Also, Dave had just yelled at me earlier in the day about something else, and then that was fresh on my mind. Dave loves Taylor Swift.

If we got sued for something Taylor Swift related, that would be a double throw.

He would

tear apart my fucking ass. He would punt you.
You'd get punched. But you also...

You also know you're a protected class. Correct, but

it's still like very,

it's not a position that I wanted to be in. And I was freaking out.
And I was like, if I post this and we get in trouble, it's all going to come down on me. And

the five of us had a discussion for 45 minutes of being like, do we wake up, big cat? Do we not? Do we wake up, big cat? Do we not?

And then at the end of the day, Memes looks at me and goes, I don't care. This is on you.
Oh,

all right. So, so by the way, this just reminded me: Shane had a bar today because he had an embarrassing moment in front of Dave.

And I said to him, I was like, He's like, I don't want Dave to hate me. I was like, Dude, you're a protecting class.
He's going to bust your balls, but like,

he can't do anything to you because you're my guy. And Shane just goes, Yeah, Bald Eagles are protected and they still kill them.

I was like, Damn. All right.
So, so Max like starts peppering me with questions at two in the morning. I'm not even answering because I'm like, I'm trying to understand

that I'm awake at two in the morning, not by my own volition. At one point, Max, which is illegal, he basically was like, if you're okay with it, I'm okay with it.

I was like, dude, I'm not even awake. I can't give you.
You try to put it on me. At the end of the day, everything was fine.
I actually am not, I wasn't mad at Max for

being protective of the show, making sure we don't get in trouble. That was the right thing to do.
The only thing I was mad about was the flashlight in the eyeball. The flashlight

was unnecessary.

Insane move. He was also...

Also, you had

an eye cover shot. I had an eye mask.

And you went underneath, like, you had the

flashlight underneath the eye mask. So it was like, what the fuck? That's true.
Well, no, but you weren't like that. But

underneath. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes, to wake me up. I blame memes.
I blame memes for having a devious little cackle and be like, I can't wait to go out there and get him tomorrow morning.

And then you read that. That's what made me nervous.
I know what made me nervous. Good job, Max.

I also, the only other critique was it was the flashlight, but it also was, I don't understand, and this is a very minor thing, but it's a regular room setup where before the mega bed, it was before the mega bed.

So we have two beds and a nightstand in between us. Max, for some reason, decided to walk all the way into the room into the middle of the room.

And that confused me even more because why would you, I was, I'm the closest bed to the door.

You probably didn't know which one was yours when he walked in i'm the only one i was the only one asleep yeah now in the bed yeah

i don't know he walked all so he was like i was frantic when i woke up

when i woke up with a flashlight in my eyes max was like he was all the way in the room it wasn't like he was like slowly opening the door he was in the middle of the room standing over me just panicking yeah so now that you're awake what it's like oh like now that you're awake yeah right right and then there was a question max asked me a question i didn't answer for like a solid 90 seconds he's like what should we do i was like dude can you give me a second?

I don't even know what planet is. That's fair.
That's fair. That's fair.
You think that's how Max's girlfriend's friend felt? Yeah, probably. Probably.
The flashlight. So that was Tuesday night.

Didn't go back to sleep for another like two and a half hours because my adrenaline was pumping because I literally thought I was swatted.

You saw I was texting like after that for a while. And so got like maybe three, four hours of sleep that night.
Fine, whatever. It's again, I wasn't mad at Max because he was protecting the podcast.

He was doing his job. I appreciate him for that.
Then Wednesday night, I was like, all right, we're going to go to bed early. I'm good.
Going to get like six, seven hours of sleep.

Going to go, we went to bed at like 11.30 midnight.

I was playing golf with Dave at 7.20 in the morning, so I set my alarm for 6.30. The golf course is two minutes away.
Totally fine. 5.30 in the morning, a siren starts going off.

A siren's going off in my room.

Zach set his alarm for 5.30. Zach was not golfing.
He didn't have to go to the the golf course. He didn't have any responsibilities.
He had nothing all morning. He woke up at 5.30.

I shouldn't have had the alarm set that earlier.

In my head, I was like, I should be up to be available if anyone needs me to do anything. Like,

it should be, you need to be there. But at 5.30,

you lock. Got to be in the kitchen by like 6.30.

By 5.30 early.

I wish you guys were awake. There was a moment at 6.15 in the morning.
So Zach got up. The alarm went off at 5.30.
I was like, I guess I'm up for the day.

There was a moment where Zach and I were sitting out on this balcony at 6.15, fully showered, and just being like, so now what?

So, Zach, where'd you come up with 5.30?

I was doing math on, like, all right, so if we're like leaving 6:45 and we're also

going to be able to get it. Yeah, I know.
It's like we're leaving.

And we're not leaving.

I get what he's saying, though. Like, if you need another set of hands

at 5.45 in the morning, I'm going to be going.

I wish we had somebody who could do this real quick oh why is Zach in the bed I was like I can't I don't want to be in that situation I'll be up and I was and then I was also the last one to the car yesterday morning I was like I don't like a split I know but I was like I'm gonna be an hour early

up and I was like maybe I like maybe if I'll just wake up extra early and like I'll get all my all my stuff to get out the way that way big has time to like do his thing get ready wake up like

like just kind of get ready for the day I didn't think about waking him up too early like my math was also a little off on the alarm clock because I was like all right he's leaving 645 maybe he's up like like six and but but but hold on i was

we did the exact same thing on wednesday morning i played golf at 720 i set my alarm for for for 6 30. but zach was late to the car that he had biased he wasn't even late

i was i was i thought i was i showered first on on wednesday morning then you showered and we all we were all out the door at seven o'clock i a super lapse in judgment it was i thought it was the right time it wasn't the right time like 5 30 bad time am i way off to say that like you thought to yourself going to bed i should get up early tomorrow and then 5 30 was just like your definition of what early is like early-ish to when things were moving and shaking at 645 i was like this makes sense and like i'll be out the i'll be like

available like being available is a good ability just in case like but you lost at 530 too late i we just were milling around for an hour this morning before you didn't think that you were going to be able to wake up and big hat was not no no i i didn't think I thought, like,

I would, I didn't think he would. You're set the tone for Big Hat.
I think pre-mega bed, this wouldn't be an issue because he'd be further away. Yeah, this is the downside to mega bed.

And like, I had the phone and portable charger in the bed, like under pillow, kind of like tough. No, no, it's a siren.
I thought maybe, I know, I know you heard it. I know.

And I'm sorry, Big Hat. It's okay.
I was a bad roommate. I don't actually care.
It was just so funny. It was like, it was basically.
Back-to-back days.

We were just milling around, fully showered for an hour before anyone was up. And then I'm leaving to go play golf.
And I'm just like, all right, Zach, see ya. And he's like, see ya.

Like, he had nothing. He had no person to be.
Bad luck.

So, yeah, I've slept

no hours this week because of the conspiracy to keep me awake.

Listen, I'm not mad at either of you. It's a funny Fire Fest.
It was just the fact that it happened back-to-back nights made it even funnier. It's like, now what?

It's like, who's next? Memes? Memes is going to get me? Memes Memes is going to get me. He will flip my bed over.

He would. He would.
All right. What's your firefest, Zach? My Firefest was being a bad roommate too this weekend.
No, you were a great roommate. I mean, 5:30 is too early.
We had great vibes.

Listen, it's

such highs and such lows. It was mega bed, and then it was like,

Why are we siren at 5:30? And that's like, you're right. Like, we're police siren at 5:30.
Like, you're so right.

I got swatted twice.

I walked out this morning.

To be fair,

I woke up at like 9:58 this morning.

I got a lot of sleep. I woke, walked out here at like 10 a.m.
Zach is just sitting in the corner over there. I'm like, what's up, Zach? How are we doing? He was like, I'm okay.

I'm like, oh, no, what happened?

Gave me the whole story. I was like, what have you been doing this morning? He's like, I've just been sitting here.
A little bit I sat over there because I felt anxious sitting over here.

And then I came back to sitting over here. For like five hours, he was doing this.
You just checked together. Yeah, he was

just pacing a little bit. Just making sure, like, I'm up.
Like, if there's something something that needs to be like I'm on it.

There was nothing. There was true.
There was nothing. That was true.
There was nothing.

Bad read on mine.

Oh, man.

So fucking funny. Yeah.

It was an early morning for us. But you were a good roommate overall.
I think we had a good vibes. Mega bed was good.

Neither of us had a moment. Oh.

I guess we already kind of said it with Gruden. The tattoo.
The roommate.

tattoo is strong. Tattoos.
That was a little bit Firefest, I guess. Yeah, that was, I walked in the first morning back in to get something.

I think I was, oh, I was, I was going to brush my teeth, and you were getting out of the shower. I was like, hey, I'm coming in, and you're like, it's all right, I got a towel.

And I just, I'm staring at a fucking enormous eagle tattoo on your chest, all across your chest. I didn't know you had a game like that.
I don't. I just have a couple, just one or two tats.

Yeah, it's a business tattoo. A couple tattoos? Yeah.

I I didn't think, at first, I didn't realize what was going, like, what you were acknowledging because I was brushing my teeth. I said, what's that?

And I pointed at his chest, and he turned around behind him. He's like, what do you mean? I didn't know what was going on.
It's early. Zach, the tat.

When you got the eagle tattoo, it wasn't early. Did you always? It was not early.
You're right. It wasn't early.
Comparatively,

you got up the next day.

It was going to be a big eagle. Or did you think, like, maybe I'll get...
Maybe I'll get a small eagle. Like, just on one chest.
I didn't think. I know now that it might be pretty big.

I didn't think at the time when I got, like, up until now,

it's not too huge. I just have to push that.

I think I got broad shoulders if I stand up straight. So maybe that's what I'm doing.
It doesn't take up your whole chest. It does.
It's like 90%.

Dude, it's a good tattoo. It's a sick tattoo.
We're not making fun of the tattoo. No, not at all.
I think it's surprising that you had it.

It's more like it's the Kevin Durant business tats where it's like, I didn't know you had such a big tattoo. So when I saw it, I was a little shocked, but it is awesome.

I never thought to bring it up. Yeah.
The first thing we did on the Yak, you had me swimming, so I was like, I'm swimming.

Did you have your shirt off? I did. Shirt off.
You just didn't see it? And we talked Tats Grit Week, too. Yeah.
We were like, anybody have any tattoos? I was like, I got two.

Yeah, I guess. We should have followed up.
Bad journalism on our part. It's on me.

It's our fault. No.
Us not following up.

That's why I should expound, I guess.

Fair. Yeah.
We're a tattoo podcast. We're tattoo guys? Yeah.

Are you going to get any more? I never know. Because that also is the, and again, I love the tattoo, but like,

I think most people get, like, a tattoo to start. Like, at least I got one.
You got one PFT.

You just went straight to full chest. I did start chest.
You have no other little small ones?

Just those two. And then I guess I have just like a tiny, like, smiley.
That didn't count, though. You do that when you're a little kid with the pen ink, but that's it.
Wait, what?

Like, like when you're kids, you'd use like the stick and poke tattoos with like a pen ink. Okay.
I thought you said like with a prison's hat.

I guess probably similar. Yeah, it's a prison tat.
I mean, it's cool. It's badass, dude.
They say those go away. They don't go away.
Oh, you thought that was a good one?

Yeah, they tell you like the bullshit ones with the pin ink and the little sony, like, oh, it go away in like a year. Oh, so you actually did do a prison tat there?

I didn't do it, but like, my friend did it, yeah. Yeah.
Just for fun. We all just got the same one.
That's funny. And we were like teenagers, yeah.
That's awesome.

All right. Uh, Max, finish us off.
You got a fire fest? Uh, yeah, I'll keep mine quick.

Uh, we just literally, right before we sat down to record, I was trying to get a credential credential off of my shorts. And then I

look that way, my shit.

Get the camera on them.

Get the camera on these shorts.

You're going to want to see these shorts.

So we had a long day. Yesterday it was hot.
It was sweating.

I have two pairs of golf shorts. The one that I wore yesterday,

at some point. Doesn't even have belt loops.
This giant hole in the ass. Just a giant, giant hole here.
You wore those all day?

Yeah,

I wore these all day yesterday. I don't know at what point this happened, but

someone probably saw this giant hole in my ass. Oh, definitely.
For the listeners who aren't watching, can you describe

how big it is? How big is that hole? Five times.

Tell us how big the hole is. You could fit an entire, like,

maybe a nerf football through there.

Yeah, it's a big hole. It's a massive hole.
Like, it can fit. I could probably...

It goes up to my elbow.

I have pretty big forearms. I was thinking maybe it would go to my shoulder.
Not that big, but it's pretty. It's a massive hole.
Yeah, I will be retiring these shorts. Okay.
That's it.

And you've had that for question mark number of hours. You don't know when it happened.
I have no idea. I don't.

It didn't happen when I put the pants on

yesterday morning.

That's big. Are you sure it wasn't there when you put the pants on? I think it would be pretty hard to miss.
Yeah. It's a pretty big hole.
I think it would be tough for me to look at that and be like.

These are normal. Yeah.
Yeah. So that's it.
It's okay. That's good.
That's not a bad fire for us. Yeah, that's okay.
It's just, I like the fact that you don't know when it happened.

So now you have to go back and replay everything you did, being like, oh, was it there at that point? Yeah. Was there a lunch? And we were also with like a lot of

people that I've never met before, so they would never say anything. No, no, no.
No.

What about just like a light

grab on my shoulder? That could have worked.

Yeah, no, that was bad. Like just one of these?

I thought we were done with that. Can you wake up?

I was nervous.

The flashlight, bad play. Bad play.
Bad play. Bad play.
Bad judgment.

All right. Think about sending memes in.
Oh, no. No, did you guys draw straws? No, no, no, no.
It was just like, you're the person.

If something, it was basically the entire room was like, if something goes goes wrong, it's on you. And then you tried to

walk in with a flashlight and did, you said, if something goes wrong, it's on you.

Well, kind of. I just didn't want that on me.

Pass the buck. Let's get later.

All right.

We did lottery ball before we left, so let's kick it to ourselves, and we'll see everyone on Monday. Love you guys.

Okay.

Wrapping up the show for the weekend. We're back in studio for our numbers.
Three.

That was close. Six.
21. That was really close.
Two, two. Deuce deuce.

What'd you guess? 21.

I'll go. What memes? What's your other number? Do six.

I'll do six.

You can have six. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
What's the other one? 77? 77.44. All right, I'll go 77.

Memes. I'll go 77.

Max, or Zach, what's yours? 34.

Do you think you're going to get it this time?

No, he's not.

No chance. He's going to try.

Somebody said we should get a clock for that.

Just count down. Count up forever.
Oh, that's good. Until you break Hank.

12!

12.

Love you guys.

This is Friday night and you're out on the date. You take her out to a dinner and it feels great.
Till dinner comes and she won't touch her plate.

She's got blood on her lips, she says she already ate. And looking back, maybe you could see the signs.
The way she lifts when she walks, the glazed look in her eyes.

She skips her speech and has an undead air about her. But she didn't try to bite the waiter Ayy,

I think I fell in love with a zombie

No metaphor and actual zombie

And now she can't keep her hands off me

And now it's not as cute as she wants me

I think I fell in love with a zombie

No metaphor and actual zombie

I keep finding limbs in my laundry She's a zombie

I should've known when I smelled the human flesh on her breath I should've worried when she told me that she loved me to death I got too excited, don't think I read it right When she told me that somebody's been brain tonight

I think I fell in love with a zombie

No metaphor, an actual zombie

And now she can't keep her hands off me

And now it's not as cute as she wants me

I think I fell in love with a zombie

zombie.

So much blood, it's like he's menstruating. I've armied on his hammer since we've been dating.
Tried to scare me with Carlic, I thought, ain't that funny.

I said, that's vampires, you fucking dummy.

I made him follow up with a zombie.

No metaphor, an actual zombie.

And now he can't keep his hands off me.

And now it's kinda cute how he wants me.

I'm made of burglar with his lovely.

No metaphor, an actual sombre.

He keeps violence in his laundry. May the sombre

Man, I'll tell you what. When you're hungry out there, you start acting like a rookie quarterback in his first game, making bad decisions, messing up the basics, being all out of sorts.

That's where Snickers comes in, man. That thing is packed.
Roasted peanuts, nuggets, caramel, milk chocolate. It's like the MVP of candy bars.

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Snickers satisfies, man. That's a winning play.

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