Dan Patrick, Mt Rushmore Of Chillest Bros, Chill Week From Tahoe Plus Reading Some Headlines

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On today's part of my take.

It is officially Chill Week.

We're in Lake Tahoe.

We're doing a bunch of interviews.

We're chilling.

We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of Chillis Bros.

We have an awesome.

awesome interview with dan patrick out here from toe i went on his show as well Man with the golden voice.

Yeah, he was, it was great, great talk with him.

We're going to catch up what's going on in the sports world.

We got guys on chicks.

Is that right?

FAQs, FAQs.

We're going to do hot seat cool throne.

If you're a YouTube watcher, you're going to want to watch that segment.

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Okay, let's go.

Welcome to part of my take.

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Today is Wednesday, July 9th, and we are officially on chill week in Tahoe.

And as we do with every chill week, we talk about our day.

PFT, how was your day?

I had a great day today.

Worked hard.

Yeah.

Worked really hard.

We were together all day.

Yeah, yeah.

So we woke up early.

Me and Big Cat went down, did an interview with Dan Patrick, which was awesome on his show.

We did a lot of walking too.

Went for a nice, what, 30-minute morning stroll?

Yeah, we, we, uh, PFT and I got up.

We're like, hey, we're going to go do Dan Patrick's show.

We're excited.

We love those guys.

We showed up to the golf course and we asked someone who was driving by us,

what's the fastest way to get to the 15th green?

Yep.

And he was like, you're going to want to go along the water.

So we walked all the way up 18 or 17 through 16, all the way around.

Probably took us 25 minutes.

And when we got to the Dan Patrick show, it was quite literally 100 feet from where we had started.

We were there.

We did a whole circle.

We were already there when we asked for directions.

Yeah.

Actually, so this week has been so chill, even though it's been, you know, we've been working.

But it's been so chill that this morning I set my alarm to wake up for this.

And my alarm clock in my room is so chill with the sound that it makes.

Yeah.

That I just slept for another 15 minutes as the alarm was going off because it was like birds and nature sounds we got to get back to making alarm clocks great again yeah because

I need to have like the fire alarm sound I need Max's hiccup to wake me up

yeah that's okay but like I need I need a grating irritating sound to wake me up alarm clocks have gotten way too chill with a nice like gradual uh the light ones that yeah like light up your room a little bit with sunlight the ambient noise the ambient noise fuck that don't that's that's too new agey shit for me yeah so we so we did that I agree with everything you just said We did that.

We did a video.

Then we had three interviews that we did.

One is Dan Patrick, which is great.

It's coming up on this show.

And

we come out here.

We call it chill week, but we work a lot.

Zach got on the grill, grilled his dinner.

You were working your balls off, Zach.

You went to the costume store for a video that's coming out again.

We had a redent moment on the costumes and we hit the grill today and everybody said things were cooked decent, so we'll take that to the bank.

Really good dinner.

It's one of those days that I'm going to go when we get back to our hotel we're gonna lay down and be like man that was a hard working day where we earned it yeah well laying down feels better when you work so hard and i mean to a man everybody here they all work like max you did a great job you produced all those interviews yep uh memes you asked some great questions today yep you chipped in everywhere shame was editing editing pug editing pug editing right now uh sound guy matt hasn't missed

it hasn't missed

it okay he's here okay he's crushing it with the ads

jack's in the other room

Yeah, but he made sure that we're all set.

Jack's in the other room.

He's editing.

So everyone's been just working their asses off.

Hank, how was your day?

Oh, man, let me tell you.

I woke up,

went and got some breakfast.

Yeah.

Had a coffee.

Let's speed pass that.

I had some time.

Went to the gym.

We went and filmed the video.

And then I had, you know, I got to play golf.

Me, Marty Fish, Jake Owen, Adam Thielen.

Wow.

De Nolo teaches golf.

Played a full 18, one of the chillest.

You played 18?

One of the chillest, chillest, most enjoyable

rounds of golf I've ever played.

I didn't even realize you played 18.

What were we doing while you were playing 18?

Well, we were setting up.

We were, you know, I was helping set up.

We were, you know,

dealing with the.

Oh, was he helping set up?

He was there.

He was super fun.

He was there.

And then Big Hat was like, oh, I saw Marty.

Do you want to go golf with him?

And I thought I was being pranked.

I legitimately was like, I thought it was a trick question.

I was like.

Can I?

And you're like, yeah, you can go, you know, go play.

And I went and played.

Again, I was walking out there.

I was like waiting for the big aha moment, but no.

You played 18.

18.

Never in a million years did I think it was going to be 18.

I said that he should have stopped at 17 just so he could say

so.

So what happened was we go into the room.

We're getting set up.

It was our first interview.

It sounds awesome.

It's a great course.

He played the course you're going to see on TV at the tournament all weekend.

With a champion, with a two-time champion.

A returning champion.

I think he finished.

Seven times.

Well, he's the returning champion.

I thought that too.

I was like, he played.

Someone else, I thought, said seven.

And then he's like, I've played 12 years.

I was like, damn, you're seven for 12.

He's like, I know two.

Still, two for 12 is good.

So I go into the room where we're getting everything set up.

This is when Hank's supervising setup did a great job with that.

And Hank just starts pacing around the room.

And he just keeps repeating, this is the chillest week ever.

This is so chill.

And he's got this big smile on his face.

I thought he was just remarking about the place that we were.

And I was feeling the same way, to be truthful.

I was like, this is a very chill environment.

I'm so glad and thankful to be chill.

Little did I know you were only saying that because you were about to go out.

You just found out that you were going to get to play 18.

He played the American Century Championship program.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So chill.

Thank you.

It really first

beach.

Then we send you out for 18 on the American Century Championship.

Yeah, I don't want to overexaggerate it, but it was honestly one of the most enjoyable rounds of golf I ever played.

Wow.

That's great.

And what were we doing?

You guys were working.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Production guys probably won't sleep tonight, but that's fine.

Oh, is that true?

You guys have a long night ahead.

Oh, yeah.

Because again, reminder for everyone, we are on a road game right now.

So the Wi-Fi and everything.

But yeah, they're going to work there.

And

you're probably tired.

You're out in the sun all day.

Yeah, you need your sleep.

Oh,

all right.

He's got us hostage.

If we say, stay up and help produce the pod, help edit, then in the morning, we're going to have to deal with morning hand.

He's basically a toddler where it's like,

we'd rather him just go to bed.

Yeah, go to bed.

It would hurt us.

That's when I truly get to relax during each day is when Hank goes to sleep.

And I'm like, all right we got through another day if hank doesn't get his nine hours of sleep we're in trouble as a podcast uh okay what what is so we we have been kind of we actually have been doing a lot of work we haven't really been plugged in is there anything we want to talk about sports wise i had a couple things so i i was just going to read some headlines okay yeah let's read some headlines read some headlines uh well i did see that caitlin clark traded her own coach oh at the all-star game for the all-star game okay so they did the draft but then afterwards she traded her coach to the other team okay coach killer Okay.

So sources, Jokic to delay extension talks until 2026.

Okay.

Thoughts?

Hmm.

2026?

Yeah.

When is his contract up?

Money will be worth less, but horses will be worth more.

Did you see that video of Jokic celebrating a horse, one of his horse winnings?

He's the fucking best.

He's the best.

Well, let me see when his contract is up.

I'm going to pull it up right now.

His contract is up he's an unrestricted free agent in 28 29.

okay got a player option in 27 28

so huh i saw the owner of the nuggets say we're still gonna offer him a contract yeah and then if he feels like signing it he can sign it he is making uh you want to guess what he's making next year he is making

30

million 55 million dollars

pretty good pretty good that's pretty good then it goes to 59 then it goes to 62

feel like he would pick up that option.

Yeah.

Okay, so that's, yeah, Jokic.

So they're going to see.

Oh, we go ahead.

Keep going with headlines.

This is from Shams.

Dallas Mavericks all-star Anthony Davis underwent a procedure to repair a detached retina that he suffered during the season.

Sources tell ESPN.

Is that a Najee Harris story?

It might be a Najee.

He might have it confused.

Davis played through multiple hits to the face last year.

How about that?

How about that?

That's pretty incredible.

He's expected to be healthy for next training camp.

What is going on with Najee Harris?

Nobody knows.

Okay, because so for people who maybe don't live online, there was a rumor that Najee Harris shot his eye out in 4th of July fireworks.

Now, what made it very confusing was there also was a fire because of fireworks in Fresno, California.

And in the local television report, they were like, and local resident Najee Harris, and it was just a random dude.

Yeah, that's very confusing.

So that was also part of the the trending.

Do we know what has happened to him?

I don't think so.

Adam Schefter hasn't tweeted out the X-Rays or MRIs yet.

Yep.

So until that happens, I'm not going to comment on it.

Okay.

But I'm told that his agent might not be commenting right now.

Oh.

So I don't know.

Read into that what you will.

Okay.

All right, keep going with headlines.

Okay.

Any more thoughts about Anthony Davis?

No.

Sounds like...

Multiple hits in the face.

He plays multiple hits to the face.

He's tough.

Then Dak Prescott said he's fully healthy, ready to go for training camp, pending one more checkup with the team doctors.

Uh-oh.

So fully healthy, full go, nothing in the way except a checkup with the team doctors.

I saw a headline the other day that was like, Dak Prescott, when he has weapons, has been an elite quarterback.

And

the headline was essentially saying, implying CeeDee Lamb is elite, but that George Pickens was also elite.

I don't think that's fair.

I think you could make the argument that he's an elite weapon.

He might not be an elite wide receiver.

I don't know if it's like an elite weapon that could hurt both sides.

Like a firework.

Yeah.

Yeah.

A drone that could blow up.

Yeah, he's JPP.

Yeah, okay.

All right.

That makes sense.

Yeah.

But yeah, apparently fully healthy, ready to go for training camp, pending one more checkup.

Okay.

The pending one more checkup looms large.

Full go.

Pending one more Dr.

Sportman.

Okay.

Yep.

What else?

Aiten is excited to play with Luca.

He said on joining Luca, it's like playing a video game.

Which he's addicted to.

Which he is.

So he would know.

He is literally addicted to video games.

He said it before that he would just basically sleep two hours because he was playing so many video games.

So everything to him is probably like a video game.

He sees it everywhere.

I will say this about DeAndre Ayton.

It does feel like if it doesn't work with Luca,

he's going to be in a, I don't know where it would work because that's just...

Lob City for him.

Yeah.

Which video game?

Pac-Man?

Yeah, probably.

He's probably like playing.

No, Kirby.

Kirby?

Yeah.

Kirby or Pac-Man.

He's getting bigger and bigger.

You're right, because Pac-Man, there are some fruits and vegetables.

Yeah, right.

Yeah.

Okay, next one.

I think that's all the headlines from today.

I have the real story of the day was we had,

I would say the golf fight of the year, which was an incredible golf fight.

It was a former

NHL player.

Enforcer.

Yeah, Enforcer.

Nick Taransky, I believe.

Was that his name?

Nick Turani?

No, no.

I don't know what his name was.

Taransky?

Is that his name?

But this is bad fact-checking.

Someone's got it.

Someone's got it.

Someone's got it.

Nick Turansky.

Yeah, I was right.

All right.

Got to trust myself.

If you haven't seen the video, you got to see the video.

Can we put the video on the YouTube?

No.

Okay.

Go watch the video.

It was.

I've never seen anything like it because it was Nick Taransky, who's a former enforcer in the NHL.

basically getting angry at a guy playing, slow playing in front of him.

The guy was the aggressor in this altercation, did a full charge at Nick Taransky.

Nick Taransky then threw him into a lake.

Then he came back for more and he punched him in the face like five times, each time punching him in the face, saying bang, bang, bang, which was one of the coolest things.

And also just getting thrown into a lake.

Most fights would be over at that point.

Yeah.

So I guess like the guy that was the aggressor, he seemed like a piece of shit, bad guy.

But he also got back into the fight after getting thrown into a lake.

I personally guarantee you, if I ever get into a fight and I get tossed into a lake, the fight's over.

I would just keep rolling.

I would just stay in the lake.

I'd roll and then I'd go underwater.

And now I live with the fishes.

And just hope that they leave and then I'd come back up.

Yeah, like you're trying to escape a swarm of bees.

Yeah, right.

So that was

actually really.

I loved that fight.

It was a great fight.

When he got tossed and went horizontal.

Yeah.

Perfect.

Perfect.

All right.

I have a couple headlines I wanted to throw out to you guys or things.

We had quarterback season two premiere.

The big stories coming out of it was Joe Burrow, a clip of him being very frustrated in a 10-point win.

I like that passion.

Him getting an argument with his coach on the sideline after a 10-point win.

They had eight offsides in that game, so that makes sense.

And then Kirk Cousins talking about

that it would have changed his decision-making if he had known the Falcons were going to take Michael Pennix Jr., which I think that's fair.

Yeah, he said he felt a little misled.

Yeah.

But to he did get a lot of money, though.

To back the Falcons up, they did pay Kirk Cousins a lot of money, so that's nice.

But also, i don't think the falcons knew they were going to take pinnacles until way way way way probably like two seconds before they turned the card in yes it felt like that was a last second thing yeah that was a fuck it let's just do the fuck it we ball yeah let's just do it and be legends yeah uh

i also did you guys see that there was a um

an article on i believe usa today uh ranking all 32 nfl jerseys okay

would you like me to tell you some of the results i actually agree with pretty much the top 10.

Is number one Chargers?

Number one is Chargers.

Okay.

Number one is Chargers.

I like it.

Do you want to keep guessing?

There's one that I don't agree with fully.

Number two is the Pittsburgh Steelers, which I also agree.

I was actually going to guess that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Three is the Colts.

Okay.

Yeah.

It's blue.

Yeah.

Four is the Browns, which I agree with.

Classics.

Five is the Bills.

Classics.

Six is the 49ers.

Classics.

Seven Dolphins.

Eight Packers, nine Bears, ten Lions.

Okay.

I don't know if I loved.

Which 11 Raiders.

Okay.

Raiders probably should be higher.

Which Dolphins uniform was it?

I think it was just the classic.

The candy ass.

Yeah, home uniform combination.

No.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Not the full candy ass because the full candy ass is when they go somewhere cold.

So it's the it's the teal, not the all-white.

I actually don't hate that ranking for the candy ass uniforms in the month of July.

Yeah.

Since we're right now, yeah, I agree with that.

Would you guys like to know where your respective teams landed?

I have a guess.

Okay.

Or mine might be.

All right, do you want to guess?

We'll start with you, Max.

I will say

18.

You were the Philadelphia Eagles were 23.

Okay.

I think with the Kelly Greens, though, they would have been higher.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The Kelly Greens aren't greens aren't are fine.

Memes, want to guess yours?

17.

13.

That's the new ones.

Yeah.

Zach, Tambay Bucks.

I would like to guess 17 as well.

19.

Okay.

Henry, you're looking at my computer.

I'm going to go with 17.

You were 22.

One ahead of the Eagles.

And PFT.

Deadlast.

Deadlast is correct.

Okay.

Yep.

Yep.

I saw where that was going.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And honestly,

don't necessarily disagree.

Yeah, I don't know.

I was trying to think like what.

You don't have a mascot i would say

major tutty dude i would say the tech i don't like the texans uniforms i think they i think they could be deadline the midnight blues are okay yeah i i hate it when they wear the oilers even though it's a great uniform or they don't wear the oilers tennessee where i hate that correct if houston had the oilers then i would absolutely love it still yeah

i also don't love the rams i think the rams are kind of weird they're like kind of trying to be the chargers but not they got the shiny letters they get the ones that are the off-white yeah like kind of beige-barely beige uniforms.

But this is prime time rankings.

Yeah.

What about Seahawks?

Where's those?

Seahawks.

By the way, tune in later on this show.

We're going to rank our backup quarterbacks.

26 were the Seahawks.

Okay.

All right.

Should we do backup quarterbacks?

Next episode.

Yeah, we can wait for that.

We got to give some thought to backup quarterbacks.

We do have to give some thought to

Jameis.

But this, yeah, Jameis won.

Yeah.

Easy.

This entire list is just so.

It basically, it just should have read, hey, it's July.

And it doesn't even matter how they list it.

Like, there doesn't have to be reason.

I will read every list.

Yeah.

Every list, as long as it's got NFL logos or NFL players in it, I'm going to take a look at it.

Now, I did see that the commanders were going to unveil their

new alternates,

which are apparently going to be a throwback, but they're going to be a throwback to before they had the Dave American head logo.

So it's going to be like the spear and maybe the feather, which is substantial.

That puts us up to like, if that was our main uniform, now we're up in the mid-teens easily.

Yeah.

Not higher.

Yeah,

I like that logo.

I think that's a good logo.

I didn't have much else.

I feel bad for Paul Skeens.

He has a 194 ERA.

He's got four wins this season.

19 games pitched.

Yeah.

That's insane.

They announced another Derby contestant.

Oh, who?

O'Neil Cruz.

O'Neil Cruz.

Oh, there we go.

Okay, so how many are we at?

If we're at seven, this is a sick joke.

I think it's five.

No, it's got to be more than five.

I feel like I know five off the top of my head.

He's got memes got it.

Give it to us, memes.

Almost got it.

Ronald Kuna.

Okay.

Cal Raleigh.

Five.

So it's five.

Okay, you're right, Hank.

James Wood.

Byron Buxton.

Yep.

O'Neil Cruz.

Yep.

I believe that's it.

It's five.

These are five.

Wow, Hank is locked in for a guy who golfed 18 holes today.

Thanks to you.

Are you playing again tomorrow?

We got to shoot a video.

Yeah.

What kind of video?

We're

playing a skins game of the twist.

Yeah.

We're playing golf.

We're playing golf.

Yeah.

Okay.

Again, like this is not.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We're playing golf.

I don't even care.

I honestly don't even care.

Yeah, you shouldn't.

We're playing golf.

What was the first thing that we did on Monday when we landed?

Oh, we did a long drive competition, which you, again, challenged me to.

That's true.

Yeah.

That is true.

Yeah, we made you.

It is true.

Okay, should we do?

That's coming out Thursday.

Should we do Mount Rushmore?

Great video.

Should we do our Mount Rushmore than Hot Sea Cool Throne?

I think that would make sense.

You want to do that?

Sure.

Let's do it.

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All right, let's do Mount Rushmore.

So, Mount Rushmore of Chillis Bros or dudes, what's the official Chillis Bros?

I like Chillis Bros.

Yeah, yeah.

Zach and I are in trouble.

We're bad at Mount Rushmores.

Look, the season has started off great, but I mean, I think there's plenty of time for us to completely drastically change the way we're going about it to try to get some wins.

Yeah.

I think maybe players-only meeting?

I, yeah, we might need a players-only meeting.

The problem is, I think our biggest problem is we have some pretty solid starts, and then we go for the stuff that made us laugh in the meetings, and they don't play well on the graphic.

It's not working well on the Twitter feed for us.

No, no.

All right.

So, what is it?

774,

I believe.

Yeah, so 774.

What?

That's nothing.

Yeah, no, we got a lot of season left.

Okay, so we are up first, Zach.

Okay.

Yeah, we talked about this.

What's the order?

We did.

We're first.

Who's second?

They're second.

You guys are third.

Cool.

All right.

I think we got to go with the pick we talked about.

We've got to just try to stay consistent,

try to keep the ball in the fairway.

Okay.

Okay.

Our first pick.

is going to be Adam Sandler, Chillis Bros.

Good pick.

Yes.

I mean,

his, he makes movies with his friends.

He goes to awesome locations.

He plays pickup basketball.

That's pretty much his only addiction.

He wears whatever clothes he wants.

Yeah.

He is as chill as chill gets.

Matthew McConaughey.

Okay.

That was that was what we were deciding between.

Those two.

So good pick.

That was also our one-two.

Oh.

Yeah.

We had McConaughey Sandler one-two.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

Actually, one-three.

What's your two?

What's a two?

Our two is Jimmy Buffett.

Okay.

Very chilly.

Good one.

Chill, bro.

There's some peace.

Very chill, bro.

Do whatever you want, Hank.

You can put yourself on the list.

You've been very chill.

Oh, man.

Jesus.

Jesus, Hank.

All right.

Why?

Jesus.

Yes, that's a good pick.

Good pick, Hank.

Good pick.

Why?

He's just the chillest guy of all time.

Trying to, you know, bring world peace to the world.

Dude, bro took a three-day nap.

Yeah.

How chill is that?

I know.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, PFT.

Oh, great.

No, great pick.

Hank, I got your back.

Yeah.

Good pick, dude.

Good pick.

I had him 1-1.

Good pick.

Good pick.

Hank, what the fuck is that even on our list?

Good pick.

That was a good pick.

Good pick.

Good pick.

Good pick.

We're going to go with the dude, the big low basketball.

That's a great pick.

We're going to go with that.

It is.

All right.

You want me to just.

You want me to just try to take the wheel here.

You want want to try to take the wheel?

I'll throw one.

Hank, we got Jesus in the second round, man.

That's exceptional.

I was going to rip one, but I don't like...

Do you think that plays?

You think one plays?

Yeah, I do.

Okay.

I think that plays.

Because I think he's extremely chill, but the others do.

Right there?

I think we go...

What?

You don't like Jesus?

We go one and

we go one in 13?

If you don't like that pick, you're going to hell.

I love Jesus.

13 get us in trouble.

I love Jesus.

Does 13 get us in trouble again?

No,

I think 13.

Oh, you're right.

Actually, right.

I have to

play as fucking straightforward as you can.

You're right.

Yes, dude.

It is.

All right.

What were you saying, Max?

No, I wasn't saying anything.

I think Hank was just stressing over his pick.

Yeah, he is stressed over his pick.

It's over.

Yeah, we're totally.

Oh, you go, I'll go.

You go, I'll go.

You got to have faith.

Yeah.

Our next pick is going to be John Daly.

Yes.

John Daley.

Great, great pick.

Thought about John Daley.

It was possible.

He just rips cigarettes, extreme drinks.

Why was that?

Why did you think that was going to to be controversial?

I feel like we're sexual ourselves.

We're all

more talking about the pick I'm about to make, which I still think.

No, it's the right way.

I think it's where we go here next.

Yeah.

Okay, Hank, talk.

It's a podcast.

Jesus was a bad pick.

I don't know.

Keep the faith.

It was pretty.

You never know.

That's all you got to do.

Michelangelo Ninja Turtle.

Party dude.

Party dude.

He literally just eats pizza and parties.

And I think.

Extremely I think as much as Raphael wants to fuck April O'Neal,

I think Michelangelo is what April O'Neal lusts after.

What she needs.

Yeah, right.

Where do you think those numb chucks go?

Yeah.

Do you feel good about that, Zach?

I feel good about that.

He's a party.

He literally is a party dude.

Gotcha.

He's always trying to keep everyone chill.

I'm just shocked.

Memes and I have a pick that is insane that it's gone this far.

Oh, okay.

Wow.

You guys are awesome in Mount Rushmore.

Blake Bortles.

Yeah, fuck.

Yeah.

He's on our list.

Blake Bortles.

So we were fighting over the dude in Blake Bortles for our last pick

because we thought there was no way it was getting back there.

Yeah, we were going to take.

I should have taken Blake Bortles.

He was going to be my decision there, and I should have saved Michelangelo.

Fuck.

All right.

That's okay.

We're okay.

We're in.

We're working out case with Jesus.

We're good.

Okay.

I mean, Michelangelo's not that much better.

It's better.

He's a party dude.

He's literally the party dude.

He's being mad, disrespectful to Jason.

He's the party dude.

We are going to go with

Wiz Khalifa.

Okay.

This is the one where I told Hank I'm just going to let Hank do his thing.

Oh, Wiz Khalifa's chill.

Yeah, that's chill.

Pretty chilly.

That's chill as fuck.

So what we smoke weed.

That's chill as fuck.

And Keanu Reeves.

Okay.

Okay.

Chill.

What are you laughing about, guys?

I mean, we, I, I, I lost.

Hand up.

Hand up.

Hank went completely rogue.

You told me that's what you said to him.

I didn't want it.

And then I just like, I don't know.

I say, go rogue.

Wait, so this is us again?

Yeah.

We will take Snoop Dogg.

Okay.

That's a good pick.

It's a really good pick.

This is great.

This was a great draft from Team Memes and Max over here.

I'm just going to say it.

This is where we fuck things up usually.

Fuck, man.

That's true.

This is where we can fuck things up bad.

Because I want to take the pick that makes me laugh so hard.

But I do.

but i it's so funny because he really chill well because he likes play dude yeah that's what i'm saying the pic that zach sent me say it he's got it he's chill because of he's got issues do we want to say it i i don't think he's got issues i think he's no he literally has he's world of t-shirts slow dude He just has a different worldview.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, he goes,

we're going to lose this draft.

But you know what?

We don't pander on our team.

No, we take them.

We don't pander.

We're going to go for it.

Go for it.

And we take Forrest Gump.

Oh, no.

I like Forrest Gump.

Forrest Gump's chill as well.

He's chilling.

He's so chill.

Life is like a box of chocolate.

Forrest Gumps was my favorite movie since I was a little kid, so I love that pick.

He literally can't be sad.

And his life is so sad when you watch it.

Well, no,

he was very sad when Jenny died.

Yeah, but he still just kind of picks up and keeps chugging.

Yes, bad things happen, and then

he keeps going.

He chugs along.

And then something great happens next.

Yeah, right.

Yeah.

Right.

He's chill as fuck.

I guess sometimes enough rocks.

Horse gums, chill as hell.

All right, great pick.

Great pick, Zach.

Great.

I was just laughing so hard about it.

All right, who'd we miss?

I had TJ Lavin.

Yep.

Chill as fuck.

Marty Fish.

How do you know him?

He's the chillest guy in the world.

How do you know him?

I played golf with him today.

Okay, nice.

We had Bob Ross.

Yeah, I think that was a good one.

Tony Hawk.

Tony Hawk.

Super chill.

Gandhi.

Okay.

Guy who rolls a perfect joint.

Yep.

Was Khalifa.

Yeah.

That's good.

Jack Johnson.

um

jack johnson chill the chill little guy from the chill guy meme is timothy chalamet chill no he's too much of a too much of a ball knower yeah yeah billy strings billy strings is is really fucking chill we had tito from rocket power

bart simpson is he chill

i i think i've never seen rocket power but simply tito is super chill that's a good pick Bart Simpson's cool.

I don't know if he's chill.

Okay.

The other one that the other...

Otto is chill.

I wish I was in my own head.

If I hadn't taken Jesus,

Jim Nance.

That would have been another terrible pick.

Yeah, that would have been better.

I saw that on the list.

And Hank, I was just, I was praying to.

Hello, friends.

That's like the chillest thing you can.

Sal Maskela.

Yeah.

Spikoli.

Spikoli, yep.

Spicoli's a good one.

Rob Lowe.

Guy Fieri.

Oh, Danny McBride.

Danny McBride.

It's a great pick.

Guy Fieri's a good pick.

Guy Fiery's great.

He's chill as fuck.

All the real bros with Simi Valley?

Yeah, I was trying to figure out, like, because Bryce is technically known as the chillest, but he also fights babies, right?

So.

And I think you could have taken all the real bros because it was chillest, bro.

Oh, yeah, true.

So, Hank, what were our picks again?

We have.

I mean, it's going to be neck and neck.

Jimmy Buffett.

Great pick.

Jesus.

Great pick.

We should have taken Wiz Khalifa.

Keanu Reeves.

Honestly, all those names pop off.

Yeah.

Willie Nelson would have been a good one.

Willie Nelson.

That's a casting a wide net of fan bases.

Bill Murray.

Yeah.

We got the Christians.

We got the Stoners.

We got the acting aficionados.

And we got the olds.

You don't have any party dudes?

No, we don't.

Whisky Leaf, kind of.

You didn't watch Ninja Turtles.

Not really.

That's why you hated on the pick.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Would you say you didn't watch it?

Like he just said Tito from Rocket Power.

I didn't hate on the pick.

I said I've never watched it.

Well, he didn't pick it as one of his officials.

No, but I said I didn't watch it.

Yeah.

Do you guys think Brad Pitt is chill?

Nah.

Too many divorces, I feel like.

And kids.

Oh, yeah.

The beard phase.

He's not so chill when he's in the beard phase.

I feel like

how many times have you been married?

Two or three?

A few.

If you've been divorced like multiple times, that kind of takes your chill factor down.

It's true.

If you break up with Jennifer Aniston, TFT had Andy Reid.

Chill guy.

Mike McDaniel, chill.

Patrick Swayze in Roadhouse.

He keeps it cool the whole time.

Hank, are you throwing me under the bus for some of the picks that I did in my brain dump that I didn't put in our top 11?

I like Andy Reid.

Andy Reed's not a bad pick.

Mike McDaniel, I think, is a little too forced.

Yeah, well, I did Andy Reid, then I thought, what other coach?

Maybe Mike McDaniel?

Mike Daniel, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Who's the chillest sports star?

Jemance.

Well, yeah.

Blake Griffin would have been a good pick.

Blake Griffin, I think Shohei might be chill.

Cody Bellinger we had on the list.

Really?

Yeah, he's a chill-ass dude.

He's pretty chill.

I think, I think Jay Daniels has to be probably pretty chill as well.

Oh, yeah.

Chill guy.

Yeah, no girl.

He's smiling all the time.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He is pretty fucking chill.

Lamar Jackson.

Chill.

Chill.

Chill.

When was Jesus ever not chill?

That was his whole thing.

You just can't stop.

Well, no, I don't think about the Jesus.

He was literally like, they wrote an entire book about how chill he was.

He was like a leader of like so

chilling,

but it's a lot of work.

Like, he just did, he was spreading chill through.

I don't think you really understand what chill is.

Like, chill is like chill is golfing, like, chilling is all your co-workers.

Chilling is being like, damn, I got a bunch of water, and it's being like, You want some wine?

No, but he was doing miracles, like, he was doing shit.

Like, Hank, that's a great point.

The man made wine, he walked on water, too.

He water skied.

That's so chill.

Like, damn, we got no food.

Like, here's some bread and fish.

The Rizzler,

He's chill as fuck.

Hank just keeps trying to make arguments.

And Vickhead isn't disputing them.

He just goes on to another honorable mention.

Yeah, we're talking about it.

I think we handed him out rush for him.

He's just stuck on fighting about

shout out, like, yeah.

Shout out JC.

The problem is Hank's starting to make a little too much sense, and you guys are getting uncomfortable.

No, I just,

that's not what I think of as chillest bros.

How come millions of dudes wear shoes?

Millions of dudes every week go to say what's up to him.

He's fucking chill.

Winnie the Pooh.

Yoda.

He's pretty chill.

Yoda.

Yoda's a great Yoda.

Yoda.

Yoda is a great pick.

I look kind of like Jesus.

I couldn't take Yoda because I have not watched Star Wars, but I just know that he's chill.

Baby Yoda.

Yeah, baby Yoda's chill as fuck.

Baby Jesus, too.

Yeah.

We had Jack Sparrow.

I don't know if it necessarily plays, but he's kind of a chill guy.

Yeah, he's

a leader.

No, Jack Sparrow was a bad leader.

He's a captain.

Some could say that about...

No, well, now.

Come on.

Come on now.

Oh, man.

Zach, we could have just picked you.

You're chill.

Oh, yeah.

You're chill as chill guests.

I'm just trying to keep up with the chill.

You guys, y'all are chill veterans.

No, the bucket hat, you're reaching new levels, Zach.

Yeah, the bucket hat does tie it all together.

The bucket hat boys did pop out today in full effect.

Yeah.

All right.

Jake Owen.

Jake, who?

How do you know him?

Just love his music.

You should have done your Mount Rushmore.

Should have been all four guys you golfed with today.

Party going Adam Thielen.

All right.

Let's do Hot Seat Cool Throne.

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All right.

Hot seat cool thrown.

Hank.

My hot seat is the USA.

Why?

We were so distraught about this on Sunday.

We couldn't even talk about it.

I can't talk about it now.

But we lost the CONCAF Cup again

to Mexico at home.

We just We just forgot to talk about it because we lost.

Like we, that wasn't a bit.

We came in just to to watch it.

We came in to watch the game, we lost, and then just didn't mention it in the show.

Yeah.

But now that it's been a couple days, what the fuck is a handball?

Yeah.

That was a goddamn, his hand was literally on the ball in the penalty area.

I know the crybabies out there will be like, well, you didn't play the ball.

The man fell down with his hand, stopped the ball with his hand, stabilized the ball.

at his feet stood up and played it that's a fucking handball so i i joined the chorus of those who were saying conca calf rigged.

They don't want to see the United States win the Gold Cup.

They'd much rather have it be Mexico.

And that was our B team anyways.

Yeah.

Who cares?

It's the Four Nations.

We're not even top 10 in the world.

We're coached for the world.

We suck, dude.

We fucking

17 in the world.

I'm saying we're not top 10.

That's a joke.

We're 17.

We're the United States of America.

We also didn't have like five of our best players on that roster.

I thought this.

I thought the CONCAF meant something.

It was supposed to be fix-it-all.

Pochitino.

We had this whole talk.

Yeah, we did.

This golden generation.

Well, he has no excuse.

Okay.

So if he loses, it's the.

We might suck at soccer.

Yeah, we might suck at soccer.

Okay.

Yeah.

I've been saying that.

Well, no, no, I'd suck at the.

No, but the golden generation was not.

Those guys are the ones that weren't playing.

Okay.

So, like, the five best players that we had.

Got it.

Like, literally, the best.

They were

not there.

They're not the best.

That would be Argentina.

No, the five best.

The five best that we have.

have.

Yes.

Would would they get playing time on

other

World Cup teams?

They play on elite World Cup team.

They play on elite club teams.

Would they get play on World Cup?

Some of them, yes.

Yes.

Some of them.

Some of them.

Yeah.

Probably not top 10 alone.

You might suck it.

Some of them.

Yeah.

All right, what's your cool throne?

You?

Because you golfed?

Well, yeah, that.

Also, people without TSA pre-check.

Oh.

The TSA has finally gotten rid of the, you have to take your shoes off to go through security.

Oh, wow.

We made it.

We made it.

Oh, yes.

How many years was that?

20

years.

What was his name, Richard?

Richard Reed.

Reed, yeah.

Richard Reed, the shoe bomber, tried to

take his shoes off on a flight.

By the way, shout out to the passengers on that flight.

You remember what he looked like when he got off that?

The man's face looked like he just went eight rounds of Holy Field.

Yeah.

Just all swollen up.

But yeah, ever since that one motherfucker tried to do it, then got to take your shoes off.

Yeah.

Not anymore.

Not anymore.

I was going through, I was coming back from Boston last weekend, and

the security, the guy at TSA was acting as if it had been a rule for years.

He's like, don't take your shoes off.

And I was confused, honestly.

And then I found out the next day that they changed the rule.

But the guy had acted like they changed the rule years ago.

Hot seat perverts who go to airports to look at feet.

Yeah.

Can I say something?

I didn't even know the rule still existed because I have

TSA pre-check.

Well, that's why the cool throne is people that don't have it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So why?

Still have to take out their laptops?

Probably.

tsa pre-check you don't

but the cool throne is for the people that don't have it oh okay got it like me yeah never got it got it me neither got it but you still have to take out your laptop that's fine sometimes always the shoes is always the worst yeah laptop's easy okay uh all right pft your hot seat cool throw on uh my hot seat is going to be

our list of quarterbacks that we put out on monday uh we got a little bit roasted for it we tried to make it as fair as possible um but then after that this guy right here, you're doing your hot seat.

Hank's just playing with a golf ball.

It's no

PFT.

He was like this.

He was like this

while you were talking.

He can't.

I want to, I want to, I want to go back.

I want to go back throughout the history of this show and see how many times when it when Hank's done with his hot seat or with his who's back of the week and he goes to me, immediately he checks out and starts doing something

on Hank's defense that he knows is going to distract Big Cat.

and big cats.

I'm listening.

Yeah, okay.

I was trying to listen.

Being active while listening.

Like this, like a cat with a young man.

I'm being active while listening.

Okay.

I'm on your side.

Is that what active listening is?

You need to show that.

That's the exact opposite of what active while listening.

But I have our list of quarterbacks on the hot seat because a better list of quarterbacks on the hot seat or a better list of quarterbacks in the NFL came out today.

And that was from Johnny Barks, who ranked every NFL quarterback based on how cool they'd be to smoke weed with.

Ooh.

So I think it's a great list, but I disagree vehemently with some of his dreams.

He had Geno Smith in the top tier in dream rotation.

His dream rotation was Josh Allen, Baker Mayfield, Gardner Minshew, good pick.

And Geno Smith.

I don't know what Geno is doing up there.

The nightmare rotation at the very bottom, Russell Wilson.

Yes.

Agreed.

I think he should be on his own.

100%.

Aaron Rodgers.

I disagree with that.

I disagree with that.

Deshaun Watson.

Yes.

Yeah, Fair.

And Will Levis was down at the bottom.

I disagree with that as well.

I would put Russell Wilson beneath Deshaun Watson.

Yeah.

For guys to smoke weed.

Smoke weed with?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Russell Wilson would pretend he was hallucinating.

Oh.

Yeah.

I think I'm having a heart attack.

Yeah.

Okay, dude.

It'd be bad, but it's a good concept for a list.

Yeah, I'm trying to think of

who would be the worst besides Russell Wilson, that is, because Russell Wilson is...

I got to say,

I think Bo Nix would kind of be annoying.

Yeah, he'd be very annoying.

Yeah.

It's nothing to do with his football skill, but I think he'd be annoying.

He would have the worst playlist.

Yeah,

he would be annoying.

Trying to think who else would be not great on that list.

Kirk Cousins.

Kirk Cousins, I feel like Kirk Cousins, as he gets a lot of people.

If it's a heart attack, he's also in the heart attack category.

No, I think He might actually be like the get-up you a water and be like, it's cool, dude.

Yeah, I think, like, if Kirk Cousins smoked weed, like, he wouldn't,

he would not smoke weed.

Right.

If he were to be dosed and he's just going along for the ride, he'd just be like, let's put on some, let's put on a Creed album.

Yeah.

It's so funny.

Right.

Dak would would not be fun.

Dak was way too high up.

Dak was in the chill, but will hog the ox category.

So is Drake May.

Spencer Rattler was in that.

I think he's way down on the list too.

My big argument with this list,

you got to put Lamar in the top tier, right?

Yeah, for sure.

Lamar is absolutely the top tier then.

100%.

Was Jalen Hurts in the top tier?

Jalen Hurts was, he was in the Dak Prescott category.

Okay.

Hog the Ox.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

We should do one with cocaine.

Quarterbacks you like to bang rails with.

It wouldn't look too dissimilar.

Probably not.

No.

No.

I think, yeah, yeah, just mentor number one, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Uh, okay, was that your cool throne?

No, that was my hot seat, was our list.

And Hank started playing with the golf, yeah, yeah.

And then my, my cool throne is Mizrawski, again, from the Brewers.

Yeah, so we, we talked about him on national sports podcast last week.

Uh, Mizrawski, he struck out 12, gave up four hits, one earned run, beat out Clayton Kershaw.

He's fucking awesome.

He's a problem.

If you haven't watched him pitch yet, this dude is a, he's so fun to watch because he throws the ball like 103 miles per hour every single time.

And he's not, he just started in MLB.

Yeah.

He's a problem.

He's the best.

He's a problem.

All right.

My hot seat is

Kentucky punter Aiden Laros

because he is the only player in the college football 26 game to have a zero toughness ranking.

What happened?

That's brutal.

How do you get that?

How do they not even give him like five?

I have no idea.

That means you're dead.

Yeah.

Zero toughness.

I also, I really want to play the game, but we're on show week but i can't wait to start playing the game because i heard it's really really good yeah are you a memes you must be fiending right now fiending i'm hired up well you're we're not gonna see you after like when you get back you're going back to friday going back friday just see a memes see you yeah two two straight locking room ultimate team gotta get that going how many how many titles are you gonna win that quick uh

it's a slow build okay it's a slow build okay you gotta find the worst team and then build up uh my other hot seat is Hank because

there was an article in Fast Company about Gen Zers.

They are, there's a new fad for Gen Zers.

It is called micro retirements.

They involve taking a one to two week break from work every 12 to 18 months.

They're basically just stealing vacations.

It's also not enough.

No, it's not enough.

It's not enough.

But you can't let them steal the word vacation.

They're trying to change it to micro-retirements.

Yeah, that makes no sense.

Yeah, that's crazy.

I'm trying to rebrand it.

There was one guy in that article that said that he liked to take a two-week vacation twice a year, which that's more of Hank speech.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Did they email you to get comment?

They did not.

But micro-retirements is just not a thing.

Yeah, micro-retirement.

That's what Aaron Rodgers does every offseason.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He invented that.

All right, my cool throne.

One is it's Amazon Prime Day for the next three days as you're listening to this, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.

Go to Stella Blue store if you're a Prime member.

Bye, bye, bye.

Amazon Prime Day rocks.

And then also my cool throne is our guy Zach, because as we're sitting here, this is the first time that Zach has been west of the Mississippi.

And the first time you have been...

What was the other thing we were talking about?

We hit...

top of the United States on the way down.

Yep.

Seattle for Seattle.

We went all the way left.

all the way left, directionally on the map.

Yep, yep.

So you've never been west of the Mississippi.

No.

And

this is like the high.

Oh, it's the highest you've been as well.

Oh, that's right.

That's right.

The elevation.

Yeah.

The mountains are here crazy.

So congratulations to you.

That's pretty awesome.

I appreciate you guys letting me come check out Talk.

How do you feel?

Wild.

Do you feel different from the West Coast?

It doesn't like.

So driving from Reno to where we're at now, right?

It felt like

almost as if we were driving through unreal territory just because the mountains are so insanely big on both sides.

And

I've never seen anything like it.

Like it's something you'd see on like a

Microsoft wallpaper of sorts or like a default iPhone screensaver.

Yeah.

It's beautiful.

But it's real.

Yeah.

Insanely beautiful.

Yeah.

And so first time west of Mississippi, how old are you?

27.

27.

Yeah, that's huge.

So you did it.

Yeah, we're checking off states.

It's kind of wild.

Yeah.

Insane.

You did Washington, Nevada, and California.

And Massachusetts.

Oh, yeah.

That was two weeks ago.

Yeah.

White coast.

So we're at like five different states now.

Holy shit.

I think I was capped at five before really recently.

Yeah.

Look at you.

You have one that's next on the list?

One-fifth down.

Whatever states open to having me.

Okay.

All right.

We're out there.

Any states that want to have Zachly?

Let them know.

Hank, what'd you say?

Well, I'll say one.

I mean, we're going to have to go to South Dakota, you want to.

One fifth down.

One fifth.

I don't like it.

A fifth of what?

The states.

He's been, he said five before, five.

Oh, 10 overall.

Okay.

All right.

I thought you were saying, got it.

Matt.

Zach, your hot seat cool thrown.

My hot seat with you mentioning the Dakotas.

So it's 7-7 to 4 in the Mountain Rushmore standings right now.

My hot seat is me and you, Big Hat.

Yeah,

we've got to find it.

You guys are.

It's so early.

No, but we.

I don't know.

You guys are begging for votes right now.

No, we're not.

We have a bad.

We are making each other laugh.

We're not thinking big picture.

Our strategy might be too whimsical in the prep.

Correct.

I think we are

whimsical.

I feel like we're serious.

We're not too much.

We're like 12-year-old girls at a sleepover party.

And that not be good.

When we're doing our prep.

Might not be good for success.

Yeah.

As we've seen coming out.

There'd be hard lines.

Yeah.

We just have to.

I say be true to yourself, Zach.

Well, we have been.

And also maybe rework.

Yeah.

All right.

And your cool throne?

Cool throne is,

I hate to do this again, but anybody who's at the house right now on the couch or in the bed or at the desk, just ripping college football 26 with a nice beverage beside them, just getting into the game.

I hope for all of you that Ultimate Team is not pay to win this year, and I just hope you can have a beautiful experience with not only you, maybe have some of the boys in the party.

So are you going to rip it when you get home?

Oh, of course.

Oh, certainly.

Wait, what's your college team?

College team?

I'd like to see the state win.

I'd like to see the state win.

Never graduated from a full university, so I don't have the most insane ties.

So I'd just like to see a state state win.

Yeah, love that.

So are you going to just hop around the state when you play?

For college football, I try to base on the uniforms early.

So any uniforms that are enticing, I'll try to go with them.

So season one, what school are you playing?

I'm not sure yet.

That's an in-the-moment thing.

That's an at-the-desk decision.

You got to update people.

I can do that for you.

Yeah, yeah.

Let them know.

Let them know.

Okay.

Good hot seat, cool thrown.

Great for the loom underwear.

Let's get to our interview with Dan Patrick.

Awesome interview.

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very, very special guest, recurring guest.

It is the legend Dan Patrick, who still has two and a half years left in his career.

Dan, thank you always for coming on.

We love having you on.

Should we talk about the retirement tour?

Because it's.

Okay, it wasn't set up to be that.

I said this is the last contract I was going to sign.

Is this a technicality that you're doing?

Are you doing like the immunize that Rogers did?

I said this would be the last contract.

Then it became a retirement.

I didn't mean for it to be a four-year retirement tour.

So you're working for free after your contract's up, is what you're saying.

You're not going to sign a contract.

I won't be working.

I'll be strictly Sandler movies.

Okay, wait.

So, but

are you actually going to retire in two and a half years?

Yes.

And do you not feel like you're going to miss this in doing all this?

Because you're still at the top of your game and you're still put on a great show.

I just feel like, I guess it's more I'm projecting here where someday I'd like to retire, but I don't know if I could give it up.

Well, I still have a broadcasting school.

I'll still do things.

It's just, it's, I don't know, there's things I want to do.

Like,

I want to move to Italy.

Oh, that's a big thing.

I want to learn Italian.

My wife's Italian.

I got grandkids.

I mean, there's things to do.

I got a place in Maine.

I started fishing again.

So, I don't know.

I've been working five, six, seven days a week for almost 35 years.

And so it's time.

Plus, you don't want to get to that point where people are laughing at you not with you.

And I went through a period where I really struggled.

I was going through health issues.

And, you know, I said to Paulie, I leaned on Paulie more than I ever have, my producer, because

I couldn't remember Albert Puholz's name.

I couldn't remember Tom Izzo's name during the show.

And I panicked.

And it made me start to realize, okay,

you just don't want to be that guy.

And I think it kind of put the wheels in motion of, I rely on the Danettz, my guys, a lot more than I used to, on the air and off the air,

because I want them ready, whatever they do after this.

So it's a long-winded way of saying two and a half years and then I'll be done.

Can I give you a tip for the Dan Patrick School of Journalism?

And we're happy to teach a course.

We've done it before.

Yeah, we have.

We've taught courses before.

So you mentioned like you don't want to be that guy who makes the mistakes on air.

The tip is be that guy who makes mistakes on air your entire career like we do.

Yes.

And then no one's ever going to notice when we get old.

Like it's disappointed when you don't make mistakes.

Correct.

We fuck up things every day.

How did you say that?

How did you not know that?

It's like, that's kind of the beauty of it.

We never pretended to be professional.

Yeah.

And you're a great job.

Yeah, so those are a mistake.

So we're taking that bullet away from you.

You can't be like, oh, very, very unprofessional.

No, but I think from PFT commenter.

Yeah.

That was brilliant from your guys' perspective.

First of all, Young, you're going against everybody.

You're going against the world.

How do you stand out?

But to be almost counterintuitive to what people were doing, that everybody's everybody's trying to get the right guest and ask the right questions where you might get the wrong guest and ask the wrong questions or even the right guest and ask the wrong questions then things go viral and I never really looked at like McAfee with YouTube like those numbers that's really all that matters it's insane and I've been with terrestrial radio all my life and you keep thinking of those ratings those ratings those

now Nobody cares about that.

They care about, you know, social media, what went viral, the number of people watching clips and that's what you guys have been able to do you know McAfee's been able to do that as well yeah so when it comes to terrestrial radio how do those ratings get actually sorted out I've always wondered I still don't even know I they just tell me yeah like one day they're gonna say hey

come here bring your playbook you know you're done and they could be something random like that we'll we'll be in on market in a market and they'll go you're killing it but they want to go local and i'll go what does that mean So then you're not in an

affiliate in Portland, Maine.

Meanwhile, you thought you were doing great in Portland, Maine.

So

I don't like being beholden to that because

face it, you have a lot of people who are in radio, who your boss is, who probably haven't done radio.

Right.

And I think it's unfair sometimes with they project to what you should be doing or why aren't you doing or why didn't you ask.

When you're in the chair and they're live bullets, I mean, it's just different.

Are you just saying that you're going to move to Maine to get your numbers up in Portland, Maine?

Is this a structure?

Strictly.

I'm going to have one affiliate.

Yeah.

It's Portland, Maine.

Yeah.

So, wait, go back to Italy for a second.

Describe to me your perfect day, ideally, 10 years from now.

How do you spend your day in Italy?

Up early.

I'm out.

I'm already out, retirement semester.

How early?

Probably six.

Okay, that's not bad.

So up early and then probably out the door,

probably living somewhere along the water,

probably

a nice lunch.

They don't do brunch over there.

They don't really do breakfast, I don't think, either.

They smoke cigarettes, yeah.

They do and drink wine, but they all look pretty healthy.

They do, yeah.

I mean, but they're, you know, you can't go wrong over there with the food.

I think...

Whatever the day would bring over there would be great.

Fishing, hiking, biking,

but trying to learn the language.

Yeah.

I want to take dance lessons too.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

All right.

I have two questions about Italy, though, that I'd be concerned about moving there.

Now, is this product placement with the shoes?

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, dude.

We'll get you a pair.

We're building.

What size are you?

11 and a half.

Just, just miss being a real man with 12s.

That's tough.

PFT is not a real man.

Yeah, no, he's not.

I'm a boy.

I'm a boy.

It's weird that 12 was the number I picked.

I happened to be 12.

All right, so.

Michael Jordan, 13.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Italy.

Are you worried about getting all the games, being able to watch the games, and two, are you worried about all the perverts?

A lot of perverts in Italy.

There's perverts all over.

Yeah, Italy's got a lot.

They elect them president.

Listen,

my kids are a quarter Italian.

I can say this.

There's perverts in Italy.

I don't know if being the quarter, you can't.

Yeah, no, they're perverted.

No, no, it's like size 12.

I know you've got to be at least half.

Okay.

Well, I'm a father.

I'm an Italian father.

I have children that are Italian, so I'm an Italian father.

Okay.

All right.

All right.

I guess the loop.

So are are you worried about it?

No, I'm not.

And I'm not worried about the games either.

Okay.

Are you really?

Are you going to watch the games?

I don't know.

That's crazy to me.

You got to escape it occasionally.

Yeah.

Because, you know, if I'm at home and my wife would say, are you going to watch blah, blah, blah?

And I'll go, I'm watching Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives right now.

Like, I'll get to it.

Because if not, you never get away from it.

Yeah.

Ever.

And Fritzie, my booker, is constantly sending me emails and text of guests or stories.

And then Paulie gets in on the chain.

You know, then all of a sudden it's 10 o'clock at 9.30 at night and you're going,

got to go to bed and then turn around and then get ready to go the next morning.

You got to get away from it, I think, to come back to it.

Yeah.

But, I mean, like an NFL Sunday?

I don't,

I'm okay.

Okay.

I'm okay.

I love it.

I love it.

But I, I, I, I, you know, I choke it.

Yeah.

I need to get back to it.

Well, I mean, this is good.

This is good because I do think that there are a lot of people in our profession that don't love it and they pretend to kind of keep loving it and it shows.

You know what I mean?

Where they're almost mad at having to watch the games.

And it's like, if you don't like watching the sports that you're covering, why are you covering it?

I think it's the one thing that people don't understand because I say to them, the other like, oh, you're lucky you get to watch games.

I said, but it's my job.

Yeah.

Like I don't get away from it.

I have to know everything.

It's live.

And when you fuck up and then somebody said, how can you not know, blah, blah, blah?

You know, I have to know every trivial pursuit.

I don't like playing it, but I'm always in another room and they'll go, Roger Maris, you know, 1961.

And I go, 61 Omers, you know, and then they were like, okay, oh, okay, for a pie.

Like, that's not any fun.

You don't get away from it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Is there a sport that you've retained your love for more than the others?

I think it's storylines.

Like if there's a storyline, it doesn't matter what it is.

It could be golf.

It could be, you know, even tennis.

If Jokovich goes and plays, you know, in the finals at Wembledon, that's a great story.

Football's always got storylines.

Baseball is a little harder to find those storylines that stay true.

Basketball, you know, storylines.

I don't root for anybody.

Like, you know, you're a Commanders fan or everything Washington, D.C.

But I gave that up when I started at ESPN.

I gave up my fandom.

I'm from Ohio.

I didn't root for anybody in Cincinnati.

Bengals, the Reds, gave it up.

But I do miss that.

Yeah.

Like, I miss that pain.

Yeah.

Like, when you get crushed or when you win, like, I do miss that.

Yeah.

And the Bengals go to the Super Bowl.

And people are like, oh, man, are you crushed?

They lost.

I go, no.

Yeah.

They played well, but it was a good storyline for the Rams as well.

And that's what what people don't understand is I got to look at it not as a fan but this is a job and you got to do it correctly you got to put in the time when you have interviews you can't you can't cheat the audience you just you know they tune in and I tell them hey I got this guy coming up or this person then I want you to listen because you trust me that I'll do a good interview yeah but if you try to mail it in man it always gets you always what is your what's your go-to like interview move or something that you're like this has worked throughout my career?

Because you're a fantastic interviewer and you do such a great job of, I feel like, almost disarming the guests where you ask a straight question that's very simple, but gets a great answer.

So what is it about, like,

was that something you had to work on?

Or did you just have that?

You mean you taken a long-winded way of doing that?

Yeah, that was, I did a bad job.

No, I did a bad job.

I knew halfway through that question.

I was like, I'm fucking up the question, complimenting you about how good you are at asking questions.

Dan, if you were to rephrase that and ask yourself that same question, how would that go?

What makes you a good interviewer?

Okay.

That's good.

I think you just answered the question and asked at the exact same time.

That's my pet peeve.

Ask, answer, ask.

Yeah.

Because I love.

God damn it.

I fucking

ask you a question so you don't get time to think.

Because even today when we talked and you said, oh, that's a great question.

Well, you're stalling to come up with an answer.

But when you can get somebody,

like,

I want LeBron to ask Kevin Durant, do you think you're better than me on his podcast?

Or Steve Nash, ask Durant if he thinks he's better than LeBron.

Like I think that that would be awesome.

I'd love to do that.

And then LeBron to go back at Kevin Durant.

I mean, they're greats of all time.

Why do you think you're better than me?

Then you could kind of go back at that.

But to get a short question to people and not let them load up, because if you do ask, answer ask then they're they got something for you yeah all right i'm gonna do a round we're gonna do a round of it all right let's go down here's one

we're gonna get you yeah go ahead because i was gonna say yeah yeah favorite color blue

blue that's why we love each other me too why did you turn down prices right

because

i was still in a sports mode i wasn't ready for a game show yeah

and it's 1999

and I get a call out of the blue and said, hey,

are you interested in prices right?

I thought they were selling me something or I didn't know what it was.

And they said, we're interested in having you host Prices Right.

And we checked with Bob Barker, and he signed off on you hosting Prices Right.

We want to build a set in San Antonio, where the NBA finals were.

And we want to just see you on stage, and we're going to build the set.

And I just remember hanging hanging up the phone and going,

I don't know what that was.

And then I, and they, I said, well,

for shits and giggles, I go, well, what's it pay?

And they said, if you take the job, we'll tell you.

So

I go home and I say to my wife, hey, I got offered the job at price is right.

She goes, well, you turned it down.

I go,

not exactly.

I just wanted to know what it paid.

And she goes, well, what's it pay?

And they said, if I take the job.

And she she goes, You're turning it down, right?

And I said, Well, I will, but it's not because of that.

I just didn't think I could do it well enough.

And then I was up for Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.

So I meet with the guy who started the show, Michael Davies.

Yep, yeah, Century City.

He worked on Barcelona.

Yeah, another long-running show he's done.

Yes, long, the long-running show.

So I'm, he flies me out.

He says, I want to talk to you about hosting a game show.

I said, All right.

We go in, we watch Japanese game shows for probably 90 minutes.

He hadn't offered me anything.

And then all of a sudden he goes, man, these are fucking great, aren't they?

And I said,

yeah,

sure.

And he goes, all right, I'm going to do this show.

He goes, God damn it,

Regis won't leave me alone.

What are we doing here?

And then he goes, okay, hold on.

I got to get a game show for Regis Fieldman, okay?

But I want you to, it's called Who Wants to be a a Millionaire.

You're going to, do you want to host Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

I said,

I'm open.

I don't know.

I'm open to it.

He goes, all right, I got to get fucking Regis a game show.

And so I go home and my wife goes,

what was it?

And I said, Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

The whole concept.

And she goes,

Are you going to take it?

I go, I don't know.

I think it hinges on Regis Philbin getting a game show.

So she goes,

Okay.

And I do explain it.

As God is my witness, I did not hear back from Michael Davies

until I saw on TV Guide Regis Philbin was going to host Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.

Mm-hmm.

Found out through the press.

Yeah.

And I,

for 10 years, I waited for Michael Davies to apologize to him.

And he had some game show that he called me about.

His assistant did.

And I said, tell Michael to call me.

And he forgot all about it.

And like, hey, dude, I'm waiting for the call to be who wants to be a millionaire.

And he goes, oh, are you still hung up on that?

I go, hung up on that.

I flew out here.

You were going to give me the job.

We just had to get a game show, and I'm hung up on it.

So that,

there's been three or four game shows that I had the opportunity to do.

Jeopardy?

I,

well.

That's a great question I just asked.

It was one word.

Yeah.

Great question PFT.

Yes.

Wait a minute.

Hold on.

Yeah.

Ask it again.

Let me do the phone.

What is Jeopardy?

Great question.

Jeopardy, were you offered

were you in discussions for the Jeopardy?

I was.

I met with Steve Mosco, who was the head of Sony, and he

that day on my show, for some reason, the guys were asking about what game show would you host?

And I said, Jeopardy.

The show ends.

Get a call, Steve Mosco from Sony.

He's in France, and he says, hey, I'm going to be in New York.

I'm going to talk to you about hosting Jeopardy.

Now, I just think he's fucking with me.

Like, maybe somehow he heard I was talking about Jeopardy, and I had met him one other time, and I meet him in New York, and then he said, look, if Alex doesn't sign this contract, I want you to be the host of Jeopardy.

I said, okay.

And he goes, in the meantime, we're going to do Sports Jeopardy.

Have you host that?

It'll be on the set.

I want you to have dinner with Alex.

And so all these things happened.

Had dinner with Alex.

He wasn't sure if he was going to re-sign.

I'm doing Sports Jeopardy.

And then all of a sudden, Sports Jeopardy, Alex resigns.

Steve Mosco gets fired at Sony.

And then all of a sudden,

nothing happened.

But it was quick.

And I would have taken that job.

I think you would have been good at that one.

I loved it.

It was quick.

It was fun.

The staff was unbelievable.

The knowledge research that you were around was spectacular.

But

that would have been one you could have done.

And they said, look, you're going to work 48 days a week.

And you would do five shows a day.

Alex was a monster, man.

He was a machine.

He was unbelievable.

And I remember when he had had surgery on his knee and he insisted on going out there and he's hobbling and he was a tough, tough SOB.

But he knew that I was there and I'm kind of, and I hated that feeling.

And I still have the voicemail when he called me to have me go to dinner.

And we went at five o'clock.

So, and we just sat there and he gave me his marker.

that he uses so I could use that on Sports Jeopardy, made an appearance on Sports Jeopardy.

But that was one that looking back, if I had the opportunity, I probably would have left sports.

I am mad at you about Price is Right, though.

That is, I have a dream job.

That is my dream job.

But you could do that.

I would leave everything for that.

Right now.

Yes.

That's the best.

It's the greatest game show.

It is.

I used to watch it all the time.

What's your favorite game show, PFT?

I mean, I've always been a fan of Jeopardy.

I like that one.

I do like the Japanese game shows, like the wipeouts, like those.

I would say Jeopardy's 1-1 for me.

It's off the list, yeah.

Price is right, it's pretty good.

The skinny microphone, did you at least hold the skinny microphone?

I would have if I

have to take the job, it's great.

Yeah, they don't give you the microphone.

You gotta take the job.

But, you know, Drew Carey has done a wonderful job.

He has.

I'm not saying that.

But that's, you know, there's part of you that I never wanted to be, you know, I had a chance to be an entourage, but I didn't want to fuck up a show I was that I really liked.

Right.

I didn't want to do a corny cameo.

And then I've done 21 cameos with Sandler.

Those are great.

You know, and Happy Gilmore 2.

But it's,

I think I've aged out of the game show.

What was your best cameo?

The one that you say I need.

I think when I did...

What was it?

Just go with it?

With Brooklyn Decker.

Okay.

Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Aniston, and I play a nightclub owner.

I don't want to spoil if you guys haven't seen this.

No, no, no, you see my favorite movie.

Yeah.

Okay.

So I'm on stage, Dave Matthews, Sandler, Kidman, Anniston.

This is the greatest name in the drop of a world.

And there's a dance contest.

So I'm hosting.

And

Aniston looked incredible.

God damn it.

There was a moment when I'm shooting my scene.

Or

I don't even know if I think I said the words, but I'm just staring at her and I'm going, God damn it.

She is unbelievable.

Kidman had just had a baby like six months earlier or whatever.

She is ripped, like incredibly ripped.

And I just remember being on stage and Anniston and Kidman are there.

And I'm thinking, do they know that I can't act?

Because they kept looking at me like I knew what I was doing.

And then Dave Matthews was there as well.

And he was a lot of fun.

But that's where Sandler just said ad lib.

Yeah.

And I used a line with a woman.

I called her Big Country.

And they kept it in.

You really got to make sure to hit the RY on there.

Yeah.

Yes.

Big country.

Yeah.

But yeah, she looked like Bryant Reeves a little bit.

Yeah.

Have you played basketball with Adam Sandler?

Yeah, many times.

And how good is he?

He carries the ball.

Okay.

So there we go.

We got to start calling that.

Bad shot.

Yeah.

It goes in.

That would be a good shot.

Now, you can have a bad shot that goes in,

but it is still a good shot.

I mean, it's not Ray Allen.

Yeah.

But I met with Sandler, I don't know, three or four weeks ago, having dinner.

I said, you know, hey,

it's kind of a nice place in New York.

He goes, all right, Danny, I'm going to go play basketball before.

So I'm thinking, all right, he's going to play at five.

We're eating at six.

Chances are he's going to come in with floral shirt, basketball, you know, trunks and the whole thing.

Sure enough, I'm sitting there, it's a really nice place.

Sandman walks in, floral, you know, print shirt on, basketball, he's sweating, and

sits down.

Nobody said, everybody, it's a dress coat.

Sandman had just played hoops, just walked on, doesn't know anybody, just walked over, started playing.

And he said, one guy just kept coming after him, going, Kyrie, motherfucker.

Kyrie.

Sandra goes, I don't know why he was saying that, you know, but he loves pickup.

Yeah.

Every time I've done a movie, there is something, you know, well, he'll want to go play basketball.

Yeah.

Always built in for his time.

And

he had Timothy Chalamay out there playing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Big Hooper.

But Sandman will play anywhere.

Yeah.

So with anybody.

I just looked up Jennifer Anderson and just go with it.

You're right.

She's stunning.

That's stunning.

Accurate description of of her.

Stunning.

Thank you.

God damn it.

I am a journalist.

Yes.

But she, and Brooklyn Decker.

Yep.

Andy Roddick's wife, swimsuit model.

Very nice lady.

Yeah.

Very pretty.

Yeah.

I used to like that.

So just to put to bed, though, not to harp on Price's right,

I heard the rumor that you didn't take the job because you were anti-spay, anti-neuter.

Yeah.

You wanted to be a bad.

I'm anti-spay.

I'm not anti-neuter.

Okay.

All right.

Just so you know.

Okay, good.

But somebody did ask me that about the job,

and that Bob Barker wanted to know.

What's your standard?

What's your policy on dog testicles?

Yeah.

And I said, you can fucking spay me if you want.

Just tell me how much money I'm going to make.

Maybe that was what it was.

I think it was, we'll tell you the money once you get spayed.

It was $10 million.

Was it?

Back then.

And that's $1999.

Yeah.

A year?

Yeah.

You're such an asshole for not teaching that job.

I hate you so much.

I know.

I know.

But I wasn't ready for it, though.

I wanted to do the Olympics.

I still wanted to do Super Bowl.

Like, there were things I wanted to do.

And you did them all.

Yes.

Is there one thing that you do regret, like a sliding doors moment of your career?

No.

Because I was so lucky to even get to a point if there's a sliding door.

Yeah.

Because I never, I didn't take it for granted at all.

Because I'm from a small town in Ohio, and,

you know, I'm handing out the Super Bowl trophy.

Yeah.

I mean, that's pretty cool.

How cool is that?

What was that like preparing to hand out the trophy?

I was thinking about that earlier today.

That's a small moment, but probably a very big moment for the person that's doing it, right?

You know, it's the kind of thing where you just don't screw up.

Nobody's really going to remember you're handing out the trophy unless something happens.

That's all.

And the first time I did it, it was Cardinals, Steelers, in Tampa.

Dramatic finish, Rollesberger, touchdown pass.

I'm on the podium, and it happens so quick.

Roger Goodell's up there, and he keeps asking me questions.

I'm trying to find out who the MVP is.

I'm assuming it's Roethlisberger, but it's not.

But I'm yelling to people, anybody, who's the MVP?

It's chaos.

Roethlisberger comes up.

Santonio Holmes comes up.

Steeler ownership comes up.

Roger keeps saying, are you going to introduce, are you going to introduce, will you introduce me?

Yes, yes.

Like I'm telling the commissioner, like, you know, I'll get to you in a minute.

Joe Namath starts walking up with the Super Bowl trophy.

The C's part,

football players are touching it.

I still don't know who the MVP is.

And so I'm talking to my producer, well, he's talking to me.

He goes, Bob's going to throw it to you.

You know, two questions, two questions, two questions.

Don't give up the microphone.

Now, there's 100 million people watching, but they're not watching for me unless something bad happens.

So thankfully, I just yell again, who is the MVP?

And somebody goes, Holmes.

Well, Rothesberger, I truly believe Ben thought he was going to be the MVP.

Because

he's looking at me like, yep, I know it.

Yep, you're going to.

And it never happened, obviously.

We do the whole ceremony, and I didn't tell anybody in my family I was giving out the trophy.

Then I get all these messages.

You're handing out the trophy.

Like they don't, they don't know how to respond to it.

But yes, I didn't, I wanted them to see it and then I didn't want to tell them.

Did you also hand it to Belichick?

Was that your Super Bowl?

Yeah.

Against Seattle right after DeFlake.

It was like right in the middle of that, right?

Yes.

Was Goodell, was he acting different up in the podium?

No.

Not a nightmare?

Not at all.

But here's the, I had two moments that one was with one of the Giants owners who, once again, you never give up the microphone because it's really quick.

Two questions, two questions, two questions.

You got to get back to Bob and get off the air because you have programming coming in.

They spend a lot of money to follow Super

Bowl.

One of the owners grabs.

So I have the microphone.

He grabs the microphone.

Now, you can't tell this if you're watching, but I'm pulling.

this way to the right.

He's pulling this way to the left.

He wants that microphone.

I can't give that up.

My producer in my ear, do not give up the microphone.

So he now knows that I'm not going to give it up.

And then he, they think they're live at the improv.

Like these owners like, hello, America, you know,

and

the Eagles owner tried to do that as well,

Lori.

And then the other time was when Eli had a car dealership that I think it was Toyota or Nissan, and he was the MVP.

Yeah.

So I'm reading the card, and it'll be like such and such blank

has won the, you know, this black-on-black Corvette, you know, L1 something,

and so I'm reading this.

Eli walks off the stage.

So I have the keys.

I can't hand out the card because Eli doesn't want to be associated with Chevrolet.

Yeah.

We love.

Bad guy.

Bad guy.

We love it.

So I, yes, we love Chevrolet.

We love Chevrolet.

So I'm yelling.

This is live.

I'm yelling at Eli.

I'm like, Eli!

Eli!

Came back up, and I go, here are your keys.

I mean, years later, he admitted that he did that to me, but he didn't.

He had a, I don't know, Nissan Diesel, I don't know, some kind of Toyota.

Just take the keys.

Did the keys.

And I almost did this to Brady on the podium.

After the Malcolm Butler interception, it still haunts me because I came so close to almost doing this.

And I almost said to Brady,

you know, that truck belongs to Malcolm Butler.

Oh, you should have.

It would have been crazy.

But I couldn't do it in that moment.

No.

But damn, was I so close because it belonged to Malcolm Butler.

Yeah.

You're not wrong.

Yeah.

And I thought, God damn, would that be good?

Yeah.

If all of a sudden Malcolm Butler came came up there and got his truck Tom had to give it to him.

I think somebody said Tom may have given it to him.

I bet you he did.

But that would have been but that would have been unfair to Tom to go, you know, Tom, without Malcolm Butler, you're not up here.

That would have been great though to watch the wheels turn in his head as he's got the keys.

Okay,

this is not scripted.

That Cardinal Steelers Super Bowl, that was Madden's last Super Bowl, was it not?

I believe so.

I'll have to look it up.

Someone fact check for me.

Did you you work with John Madden?

That was the question.

Only around him.

Okay.

I never worked.

Okay.

Yeah.

Never worked with him.

Bad question.

And it's okay.

Yeah.

I mean, if you did research, you probably wouldn't.

Well, I think I was right.

I think that was so.

But maybe Diva Dan didn't work with John Madden, but other people did.

He didn't work with me.

Okay, got it.

Yeah.

Wait, which one's Diva Dan?

Okay, gotcha.

Gotcha.

Diva Dan.

We got to specify.

Who's more of a D.

We're Danoff.

We got a Danoff.

Who do you think?

Well, I mean, I haven't asked

21 Adam Sander movies.

Yeah, it's pretty easy.

I think you asked.

You've never asked?

Big cat's not on an

retirement.

Yeah, I'm not.

One time.

I think I.

Hey, everyone, I'm retiring for two years.

Please.

But that wouldn't have been time.

This is my last contract.

I must sign.

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By the way, I do want to offer, when you do retire, if you ever have a day where you're like, man, I got a take.

I want to get it off.

You can always come here.

We will always accept Dan Patrick from Italy hot takes.

Because you will have that moment where

I'm going to do it in Italian.

Okay, that's fine.

We would learn Italian.

Yeah.

I'll do it my hot take in Italian.

Yeah.

I wonder if they have hot take TV over there.

They have to in Italy.

I think they do.

Rick Riley moved over there, right?

I believe so.

I think he did.

For a while.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Oh, now it doesn't sound like you want to go to Italy.

Yeah.

I'm sailing.

That place isn't big enough.

Maybe not.

Maybe the perfect thing was.

I think I look like France now.

South of France.

Switzerland.

I think I had a falling out with Rick Riley, and I don't know why we had a falling out.

I know why you had a falling out.

I think it had something to do with when you left ESPN radio.

He said it was the biggest career mistake you've ever seen.

Oh, yeah, yeah, he called

Shelly Long.

Yeah, it's gonna be like Shelly Long leaving, Katie Corick going to

CBS Nightly News, and Dan Patrick leaving ESPN.

Yeah.

Gonna be the three biggest media mistakes.

Oh, that's why I met

him.

Okay, thank you.

But you proved everyone wrong.

I did.

I said, I'll prove you wrong, dude.

Yeah, but you did, because you were the first big guy to leave.

And that had to have been at least a little scary, I'd imagine.

Oh, frightening.

Because there was this smear campaign that started.

Any radio affiliate that had my show, you'd be dropped as an ESPN affiliate if you decided you still wanted to carry me.

It's mafia shit.

It was heavy-handed, but I understood.

It empowered me.

Like, holy shit,

I'm going to matter.

They're going to have to deal with me.

Right.

And look, in my mind.

I loved, you know, David against Goliath.

I'm sure they didn't care.

But in my mind, I would tell the Danettes, I'm like, these motherfuckers, man, we're coming after them.

I don't think anybody was shaking in their boots because we were doing our little show.

I think they were trying to send a message to the talent that they still had.

Like, if you leave,

we're going to do it.

There's no doubt.

I probably had four people,

one a big name, and the other three were probably recognizable names.

They wanted to know about leaving.

And I said, don't leave.

They're like, why?

I go,

it's a million, I mean, it's even larger odds than that.

I was doing the show in my attic for two years.

We didn't have it made.

There was a six-month period where I made sure the Danettes cashed their checks because I didn't know if we were going to make payroll.

We changed ownership, and that changed everything for us.

But

it was not, I was, it was not a success story, but I did it on, I had to do it.

I had four kids, they were young, I had three daughters, I had to be at home.

And I was selfish for, I mean, I'm on Sports Center.

Like, I don't, come on.

Yeah.

And kids will raise it and think, come on.

I'm on sports.

Don't even watch them.

You can watch them on TV.

I'll parent them on TV.

Boo ya.

And I just, I remember

I listened to my wife because I was going to sign a five-year deal.

That morning I'm driving up.

I'm going to sign a five-year deal.

And she just said, the kids are all going to be out of the house.

And

you're going to be a mess.

And she was right.

And when I said no,

I didn't even know what I said no to.

But it was quick.

They wanted me out.

And then I'm trying to get Seton and Fritzie to join me.

Paulie was already going to join me.

And then I remember reaching out and Fritzie had it too good a job.

Like he was a big deal at ESPN.

And I knew I

just couldn't get him to go.

And I realized that.

Seton was just on the verge of doing things.

But man, he was all in.

He was all in.

And so I was like, let's just try this.

Let's see.

I mean, I can always go back to TV somewhere.

I knew I had NBC.

I knew NBC wanted me to do the Olympics and Football Night in America.

So I at least had some TV exposure.

But I missed Sports Center.

I loved it.

I loved it.

I love that it's live.

11 o'clock at night.

Loved it.

But I did the six o'clock sports center, and I'm throwing out to Sal Pal Antonio.

And I just remember I'm throwing out to him, and it gets to him, and I said, God damn it, I'm mailing this in.

I felt like a fraud, because I didn't want to do the 6 o'clock.

But I had to get home instead of working second shift.

And I said, I can't do this anymore.

Sal Pal,

suck your life out of the business for you.

If I was throwing it out to Susie Culber, I might still be there.

But it was Sal,

but

it hit me hard that I'm taking a job from somebody.

Yeah.

And somebody who should be in that chair, somebody younger, and it's the first time I really thought about an exit strategy.

And I remember telling my wife, I said, I got to get out of there.

But I couldn't.

It's like Alcatraz.

They never tell you when anybody gets to the other shore.

Never.

And they did their damnedest to make sure that I didn't get to the shore.

So all these these years doing radio at ESPN and then outside of ESPN radio, I'm sure there's some topics that you just got sick of discussing.

Do you have any off-limit topics?

Like, you will not talk about these issues anymore.

Well, I don't go out of my way to talk about the Cowboys or LeBron.

And Paulie is really good.

He's got a great news sense.

Like, if there's a story, then we'll cover it.

But, you know,

you get late July or June, July.

Man, it's back to the Cowboys and LeBron.

Now, sometimes they're warranted, but

I just can't do that to the audience.

I cannot.

I'm not, and I should play the hits.

I think your audience probably respects you for it.

For not doing it.

Now, Dak Prescott just said that his hamstring is almost fully healed.

He should be good to go next year.

What are your thoughts on that?

And what's his legacy?

Oh, legacy.

Yeah.

How does Kevin Durant going to the Rockets affect his legacy, Dad, in your opinion?

No, because it's usually where we connect the dots of KD going to the Rockets.

How's that affect LeBron?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, it's never

Jackson Dart, great training camp.

How is Dak Prescott doing in Dallas?

Yeah.

You know, it's like, let me use that to jump over here.

But it's puts more pressure on Dak Prescott.

This is the most pressure Dak Prescott has ever been on.

But also, you get, we had talking, not talking points, but we had topics we had to talk about on ESPN.

And it was all, you're in an echo chamber.

You would, everything you were talking about was talked about, will be talked about.

Let's have a guest to talk about the ESPN hockey game.

Bill Clement joins us now to talk about it.

Let's bring in Peter Gammons to talk about the Sunday night big.

Yep.

So you didn't,

and I just said, let's just do

what we want to do.

Yeah.

And

I couldn't do formulaic.

And I'm fortunate that my affiliates, you know, with Fox and Premier and those kind of partners, they let me do what I want to do.

I just said, just trust me.

If you don't like it, then

drop me as an affiliate, but I, especially Portland, Maine.

But

there's so much fun every day.

My favorite ESPN thing they do is someone says something outlandish in the morning, and then the rest of the day they just talk about eating that.

It's like, where did this come from?

I remember Ron Jaworski said that Colin Kaepernick could go down as the best quarterback of all time in the NFL.

And then for, I think it was like a week after that, he was on every show.

It was on the bottom line of other shows being like, Ron Jaworski says that Colin Kaepernick is happening.

It didn't used to be that way.

But, you know, I'm the get off the lawn guy.

But Sports Center, when we first started doing highlights, you didn't know what,

you could know the final score, but you didn't know the highlights.

Right.

And so we got to get a built-in audience, and that was what was great, is you were tuning in to watch the highlights.

And it was such, you know, a built-in home court advantage.

And we took advantage of that.

I mean,

that was where it was, you know, it was boy band crazy at times.

You're also setting the discussion and setting the agenda for what you're going to talk about when it comes to that game, too, because a lot of people wouldn't have, they might not have seen the game, but they tune in, find the final score, find the highlights direct from you.

Whereas now it's like they've probably seen all the highlights a thousand times before they watch Sports Center on their phones, on the screen, whatever it is.

And so the narratives have already kind of gotten started before ESPN has a chance to set what that narrative is.

But yeah, you're tuning in now to hear why that happened.

Right, yeah.

Whereas we're going to show you how it happened.

Now it's, okay, I know that.

Then you have to start a discussion, and we didn't have to do that.

Now you could do it.

a day later when shows would say, let's talk about that, and it was legitimate.

Now these shows, you know, just feels like, and the pressure was there.

We had to talk about Duke basketball.

We had to talk about if it was Tyson, Terrell Owens,

Red Sox Yankees, always, always, always.

Up to the minute on T.O.

Constant.

I appreciate it.

Constant because they were playing the hits.

And,

you know, after a while, you just, I remember when Mickey Mantle died,

and I was with Keith Oberman, and

said we want the first 15 minutes to be about Mickey Mantle

and they were like

what

we said no it the first segment of Sports Center should be on Mickey Mantle what he meant I mean

and and you know Keith would always fight the he had a great nuisance he was he was unbelievable as a partner unbelievable

But we fought that.

We had to call bosses at home.

And we said, we're we're doing the first 15 minutes on Mickey Mano.

And that's one of those where years later,

looking back, that's as proud as I ever was about doing something and going against what was probably the norm, what they would expect.

But there were times when

they allowed you to, we weren't allowed to do anything.

Catchphrases, they didn't want any of that stuff.

Nothing.

Fought us.

Got called into conference rooms, yelled at.

And I kept thinking, God damn, I thought we were popular.

And I realized we were,

but then a member of management said, we don't want another Berman.

And I went, why wouldn't you want another

somebody that popular?

Yeah.

But they couldn't control.

And that's where, so we had to kind of surreptitiously sneak in stuff

during the highlights.

We had built-in jokes.

We made fun of management.

But

that was the best TV of my life.

It was so much fun because they didn't want us to have fun.

Now they go back and say, oh, you know,

we're responsible for one of my bosses.

I'm like, shut the fuck up.

Yeah, right.

You weren't.

You made us better by not.

maybe allowing us to do a little bit more.

So in context, full context, it made us sharper because we had to be.

We had to sneak it.

Now they got it on the walls.

Oh, no.

You don't have a catchphrase.

You can't come in here.

You have a sports gambling podcast.

I started it because I don't gamble anymore.

Okay.

So Dan Patrick takes a gamble.

Yes.

Go subscribe.

Danpatrick.com.

And I had...

a friend named Bad Larry, and he lives in Jersey.

Are you like him?

Yeah, he,

first time I meet him, he says, you get off exit 98, you ask anybody where Bad Larry lives, they'll tell you.

This guy's awesome.

And it's true.

God's honest truth.

Where's exit 98?

They know.

It's like Seagurt or Spring Lake.

Bad Larry.

Well, he'd always tell me these gambling stories.

He'd won every gamble.

He's like Floyd Mayweather.

Of course.

Like, God damn, he's winning every one of these.

And I thought, you know what?

Let me start a podcast with Bad Larry.

And then Dylan, who used to answer phones and helped build the place running cable, and then he was graphics, and now he's on the gambling podcast with us.

And then we have Shane Irving, who is just this crazy random guy who's

a crazy cowboy fan, and he comes in every week.

We do the gambling podcast, and you just, you get around to talking about the games, but it's about crazy stuff.

I mean,

Shay will talk about going to therapy with his wife.

You know, Dylan did did nine hot dogs, nine beers, and nine innings.

We talked about that.

Bad Larry had to get new teeth for his daughter's wedding.

And we talked about, you know, just normal, silly, stupid things.

But we have so much fun, and it makes me realize why I can never gamble again.

Yeah.

Because it was bad.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was all in.

But I made money, but I lost a bet.

I think it was Arkansas, Oklahoma bowl game, and I lost three grand.

I was up six.

I lost three grand.

So I lost $3,300.

Closed up shop, paid some school loans, bought my mom a dishwasher, and never placed another bet again.

That's for you.

I mean, I go, yeah, that's smart.

I love gambling, so I don't think that did not.

But

I don't enjoy winning that money as much as I hate losing it.

And I can never watch a game that I bet on.

Oh, that's all I can do.

I know, but I would

friends would say, you know, hey,

I don't know, if you want to watch the Browns and the Raiders, I go, yeah, sure.

And they go, yeah, I got to put something on it.

Yeah.

See, that's, yeah, I mean, it's to each their own.

I'm a losing gambler my whole life.

But my happy place is like a Tuesday night in the middle of January, just being like, all right, there's 25 college basketball games.

I can sit on the couch and watch all these.

I'm in.

I love it.

And then there's like a Pac, not the Pac-12 anymore, but there's a late night, you know, Washington, Oregon.

Mountain West games.

Yeah,

Nevada.

Tough place to play.

I'm going to tune in at 11 p.m.

Midsummer baseball.

And you become an expert on Mountain West football all of a sudden.

It's the best.

I love it.

I mean, we do have to talk about, we try to talk about all the major sports on this show, but sometimes like right before the all-star break in baseball, the games aren't that interesting.

Not all the time.

But you bet on four of them per night.

And guess what?

Now it's forcing yourself.

I look at it like I'm doing my homework when I do that.

So I'm going to watch the games.

Then I'll at least know what's going on in Major League Baseball.

But that's when I got into fantasy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because it helped me stay up on everybody and stats.

Stratomatic, I don't know if you ever heard of stratomatic baseball, but it helped me memorize stats.

But my bookie died at his kitchen table on a Sunday morning.

Did you have a balance?

I was up.

Okay, that's too bad.

Because Dave, our boss, it famously, his bookie died and he was down big and it was a big day for him.

But one of my bookies used to take bets from Pete Rose.

And I just got to ESPN when this happened.

Just left CNN, went to ESPN.

And I go in there, and I'm working with Bob Lee, and Bob is, you know,

journalism personified.

And I said, look, I got a great source.

And he's going to give us information.

In my book, he said, just don't mention my name.

That was was it.

And I, to this day, I've never mentioned his name, but he would get...

Steve.

Jim.

Pat Blarier.

Pat Larry.

But he would get sometimes

Pete's main bookie would lay off bets to my guy.

Right.

And I remember he would joke about it because,

you know, Pete, he would say,

you know, your boy just put, like, Pete would bet on Vancouver Canucks hockey.

He had a big satellite dish.

That's not shame.

And my, I know, but that's bad.

My guy bed on the Hall of Fame game.

That's not shame.

I should have been on the Hall of Fame game.

That's not shame.

That's sad.

Preseason football.

Oh, yeah.

Oh yeah.

He would tell me all of these things that were going on with Pete.

So we knew it was true.

And I remember in 1986, we're at Chase Stadium.

It's Mets Astros.

And I'm with Bob Costas.

And Pete's there, and he walks up the steps and he goes, who do you guys like today?

Yeah.

Now, if you're a gambler, there's certain codes, there's certain phrases.

And I said to Bob, I go, and Bob's dad was a bookie.

And I go,

Pete's betting on this game today.

Of course.

Now, granted, it was Mets Astros, but that's, and then he came on my show years later and said, hey, I bet on the Reds to win every game.

And all of a sudden, you know, this blew up because nobody had ever, he'd never said it before.

And everybody's like, yeah, you bet on yourself.

I mean, that's the way, that's the American way.

And I'm going, no, there were certain pitchers that Frank wouldn't bet on.

Yeah.

When he bet, he bet on his team to win.

But there were two pitchers I was told that he wouldn't bet on the Reds when they were.

Well, he affects the way they use the bullpen.

Right, you're betting.

You're playing every game like it's game seven.

All of a sudden, John Franco's coming in his fifth consecutive game.

Yeah, right.

But I just, I got caught up in it because I thought I knew sports.

And now I have so many outlets to actually have information.

Yeah.

And

I can't go back.

It's smart.

Yeah.

But I love it.

And you should subscribe to your podcast.

Yeah.

Damn Patrick takes a gamble pot.

It's fun.

And if you want to, you know.

And why do we use degenerate gambler?

Why can't you just be a gambler gamer?

It does get tossed around a lot.

Yeah.

I mean, we don't use it for anything else, do we?

That's true, no.

Like a degenerate.

I think that's unfair to the gambling community.

I agree.

Well, I also think that, like, speaking for myself, who has gambled for a very long time.

What's the most you've lost?

A lot.

A lot.

In like one game.

Oh.

10th?

50, 60.

Those are game of the years, though.

Those go bad.

Well, all right, so I had a streak.

Wait, wait.

You look worried.

Here's the thing.

Let me explain.

Let me explain this.

Is this where the tout says this is my game of the year?

You probably missed this, but it did make waves.

I started March 1st this year.

I did not lose a game in March till March 10th.

I went 16 and out straight.

The bets started going up and up and up.

So the 17th game was a lot.

I was making like QB1 money for a week and a half.

It was insane.

It was insane.

They were talking about it on the broadcast.

They were saying, like, the 15th and 16th game, the broadcasters were like, and there's the over, and Big Cat and all, and everyone who's riding with him must be happy.

16 and up.

Okay, so you made this money to get to 50 or 60.

Yeah.

Oh, so you didn't just plump

it up.

Plumped down 50 grand.

Yeah, yeah.

Correct.

I was up, and I kept on going, pushing it, pushing it, pushing it.

What's the most you've lost?

It was the Eagles in the Super Bowl a couple years ago against the Chiefs.

I think that was, I want to say $8,500, $9,000.

And I did that because, actually, fun story, Big Cat had a future ticket on the Eagles.

Yeah.

He was being a good future.

Yeah, Big Cat would have won, I think, $200,000.

It was 20 to 1 on the Eagles from the start of the season.

And I did not want to root for the Eagles as a Commanders fan.

It's it's against my DNA, but I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna root against him winning $200,000.

That's a house.

So I was like, I'm gonna feel, I'm gonna feel this one way or another.

So, uh, but I'm

I'm hopefully not going back up to that.

Why didn't you ask for biggest wins?

Why do you got to do it the negative?

Because that's that's the way I deal.

I want pain.

We had Travis Holland to win the highest good interview.

Yeah, but that wasn't crazy.

40 to 1 isn't crazy.

Yeah, we got him early.

40 to 1, 5, to win 200,000?

Oh, I wouldn't see that as a big deal.

Judging me for my losses.

That's not fair.

Okay.

I mean,

most people will tell you when they win.

I'm really curious about when you lose.

Now, you know, Van Pelt started the bad beats.

Yeah.

But I like to hear when somebody

says, you know, this is what happened.

The losses stick with you.

Those are, but that's what makes the wins fun.

And it's when you get hot.

And like I said, it's a hobby for me.

I am a lifelong loser.

But the

size of sport, like you can't get it.

Yeah, right.

You've had to shed that label.

No, but in terms of gambling, I am.

I also want to retract that.

It was closer to 16 or 17,000 because in that game, I also bet on no doinks.

The ball doesn't hit the upright.

It's like a lock.

It never happens.

People think, oh, I hear doink all the time.

It was like minus 500.

I bet a lot of money on that because I'm like, this is an investment.

It's an investment strategy.

And so it was that combined.

That was just, that was a bad day for me.

I also should say that the 17th bet was $65,000.

I know that for a fact.

So that was bad.

But I was up.

But do you run it by your wife?

She's aware.

Okay.

I think the Travis Hunter one was, I won that, and then she was like, what are we going to do with the money?

And it was like two weeks after I'd won it.

And I was like, the money?

Like week 12 and 13 didn't go so high.

Who's the two-way guy at LSU who's now with the Texans?

The defensive back who's

Stingley?

Yes.

I don't think he plays two-ways.

No, but I remember I told people to bet him.

I thought next year he would have been the Heisman Trophy winner.

He would have gone both ways.

And

I thought he was just, he was Travis Hunter before Travis Hunter.

Right.

In my mind.

I mean, that has nothing to do with me.

This story, other than I'm trying to show you that I can kind of

who wasn't Travis Hunter that could have

and he didn't play offense but you know his name but he could have and we had to help you with his name exactly well next year

how do you pronounce the guy with the cardinal and he played with the angels

pool

yeah there you go yeah see if you want next year we can tell you who's gonna win the heisman yeah we're two for two in the last two years yeah we uh

we like to delicately use some of the influence that we have.

So when we decide who's going to win the Heisman, usually in mid-September, we will just strictly highlight that one player in college football and bring him up all the time.

The Heisman is the dumbest trophy that we give out because it's 2,000 voters

and 1,500 of them don't watch all the games.

And there may not even be, there's a voter's not aligned.

Correct.

And so we've realized how stupid it is that they don't have experts.

voting on this.

They have people who are watching and oh, what's the biggest game?

What's, you know, who plays for Notre Dame?

Who plays for the...

second dead people vote for the Heisman?

It might be.

We got ballot fraud.

They haven't voted.

But yeah, they still have a vote.

Yeah.

But we got to find out who those people are and then we can get their name.

We can write in from their name.

Yeah.

But I got it.

I think it's so formulaic.

You can't win it in September.

We give out the Septem VP, like the September Heisman, and that person never wins.

Because

you have to have your marquee game.

You have to have a nationally televised game.

preferably playing in a big conference, and you play a skilled position.

Yeah, and you got to win like eight.

That was our thing with Travis Hunter.

We're like, if Colorado can win eight or nine games, he should win the Heisman.

That's the big piece.

Jaden Daniels was the same way.

It's like, that wasn't a, I think

they were three losses.

So they had to win nine games.

But if you can get there.

And so who's winning it this year?

We'll tell you in September.

Yeah.

Does he play for LSU?

He might, actually.

Yeah.

Mussmeyer might.

There's a chance.

That could be one.

I also think Clemson's going to have a really good I do too.

Yeah.

I do too.

So that's going to be a good

Arch Manning is too obvious.

Yeah.

I can't take that.

That would be.

I actually

don't hate the Notre Dame running back Love because that does, that's another one where it's narrative.

If Notre Dame goes to the playoffs and he rips off a ton of yards, you know Heisman voters are going to be a lot of fun.

It's hard to do the running back.

I know, but Notre Dame, the Notre Dame part.

Notre Dame and with a name like Love.

Wake up the Echoes, Dan.

Yeah.

Just think about that.

This is all we're going to say.

All

fall on part.

Gentie rushes for 2,000 yards.

Yeah.

And granted, it's Boise.

But still.

Oh, he was phenomenal.

Those were great.

We had to say some bad things about him to help Travis McClure.

Oh, you did?

Oh, yeah.

Like the defenses he played against.

It got ugly.

It got ugly.

I didn't even see Fruda Lalun.

You can keep those.

Yeah, those are yours.

36, 38.

We're like Derek Gino.

We'd give those.

This is your old.

That's when I was 12.

You were,

you didn't wear briefs back then.

I don't know.

Yeah.

No, boxers.

Regular boxers.

Oh, you did?

Yeah, yeah.

The old school.

Yeah.

Those are big.

No, that's not old school.

Old school is tidy white.

Yeah, that is old school.

That's, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that's.

You're going to be walking around, you know, and you don't see coasts.

You don't wear any whiteies.

You don't wear any underwear right now, right?

Yeah.

No.

I love that.

Just for this interview.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's true.

And just strategically where I'm seated.

Yeah.

That's what I just

want to say.

Max texted me like 30 minutes ago saying, hey, PFT, your shirt button is unbuttoned.

And it was just a gaping hole for, I think, half the interview.

I was mesmerized by it.

That's an interview trick.

Every time you were speaking,

it was like a mouth moving.

This is the future of journalism.

Okay?

We're in good hands.

All right, last question.

Okay.

This has been unbelievable.

We always love having you on.

We're going to chop this up and it's going to be about seven.

No, no, no, no.

You are one of our favorites.

Just keep it for the archive.

So when I die and then you bring it back, and you go, this, hey, never aired.

Oh, there you go.

Yeah, the never aired Dan Patrick interview.

That's like I could say something now.

Uh-huh.

You'll never believe what he said.

That it would be from the grave.

Time capsule.

You know what he said?

We talk about that every now and then when we will be traveling.

So like we'll tape the show on a Thursday and then we have to get on a plane.

Like, what if we just died?

And then we, and then we release it.

You should have kind of a

say something at the end in case you die.

Yeah.

Posthumous.

Yeah.

I mean, for your family.

Hey guys, it's Rhea from Chicks in the Office.

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Give it to us.

What's the

give us the damn Patrick who's died?

What does he want to live on forever?

I don't know if we have enough time.

I mean, it's emotional.

This is gut-wrenching.

All right, I'll go first.

Okay.

I'll go first.

Nusmeyer to win the Heisman.

So if you die before the Heisman season, there's going to be voters that are like, Nusmeyer for Big Cat.

We got it today.

Boom.

So you'll get three in a row.

Yeah.

It'll be worth it.

They'll have to vote for you.

You'll die.

We'll lose you, but you'll win that bet.

Okay.

All right.

PFT.

I never found out if Joe Flacker was elite.

And that tears me.

I'm in purgatory right now in the afterlife.

Trump was clawing my way.

Who was going to tell you he was elite?

I just thought somebody would let me know.

It was just going to click, yeah.

Yeah.

When you know, you know.

Yeah.

I think he was.

I don't think he was.

All right, I won a Super Bowl.

Nick Foles wasn't elite.

This is the

perfect conversation.

That's the exact conversation anyone has ever had.

But usually, they say, so did Trent Dilford.

Yeah, I didn't go there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because Foles was unbelievable in his Super Bowl.

He was elite.

Yeah.

But you can look back on these quarterbacks.

Like, look at a

Bob Greasy Super Bowl.

The numbers, Bart Starr, you know, and Joe Namath.

Yeah.

I mean, they're not great numbers, but we somehow think, boy, these guys had an unboxing.

You know, Brady's first Super Bowl.

Yeah.

Like, they're not great numbers, but nobody ever lumps them in with some of these other guys we consider pedestrian who have won Super Bowls.

I just hope that you guys carry the torch of what entertainment, journalism, no,

entertainment, entertainment,

and

yeah i mean there's a great chance you outlive us people yeah

i don't get

20 years old yeah

if i get to italy yes then i'll keep you i'll keep you informed yeah unless we're right will i make okay here's real quick before oh rick man yeah okay sees you walking off chelly long all right will i make in memoriam at the academy awards oh

yes are you sure i think yes i think

that's 22 movies if i'm lucky enough.

Some films.

Yes.

If I'm lucky enough to outlive you, I will make it my mission that year to get you in Memorial.

You promise.

Yeah.

Better question.

Will ESPN put it on?

No, no, no.

I'm going bottom line.

Bottom line.

I think you'll get bottom line.

You get front page of ESPN.com.

Yes.

I don't know.

I think you will.

I haven't gone there since I left.

I know, but I.

So I don't.

Maybe you won't.

My family's.

You think you're going to go.

You went on SVP, right?

Yeah.

But I didn't go on

the SPN page.

Go, go.

I'm going to go to the website.

So you think that it's going to be like

the sky beat the fever, and then the line below it's going to be Dan Patrick.

No, no, it's Caitlin Clark and the Fever beat the Mystic.

Yeah, yeah.

Dan Patrick passes away.

Yeah.

So that might be what I'm going to leave you with.

When I die, that I'm talking about when I die.

And these are things that I'm asking you to help me with.

We got you.

Bottom line is fine.

In Memoriam, that'd be kind of nice.

Can I tell you what would have guaranteed you to get into the Memoriam page for the Oscars?

If you had taken that fucking shit prices from it.

God damn it.

$10 million a year.

Yeah, but that's TV.

No, no, this is immobile.

No, this is.

You're cameos.

You would have been in more movies.

No.

Bob Barker.

I know.

Do you know Barker insisted on beating up Sandler in Happy Gilmore?

I did not know that.

He said that he would do the scene, but he says, I'm kicking your ass.

Oh, my Lord.

And so Sandman's like, yes,

that's great TV

that he wanted, that Bob said, you know, I want to win.

And Sandman said, sure, I don't care.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, Dan.

This is it.

We've done it.

This is the final one.

You're the best.

No, you're coming back.

Listen, when you do your

two and a half years when I'm done.

Yeah, when you do your real retirement tour, when we get to the last few months, you're going to, you know.

I'm there with pornoy, feeding him pizza.

Yep, yeah, my new job.

You're gonna be doing it, that'll be great.

Yeah, you're gonna do quick picks, you're gonna be doing it.

I'm gonna do bar stool.

Yeah, yeah, you're gonna do it all.

You would think I'd spend enough time on a bar, far more than you guys have.

Yes, that's it.

Like, you want to talk about a bar stool.

Okay, that's it.

We've done it.

That's uh, thanks for joining us.

Oh,

thank you.

Cracker Barrel is home to all the more country anytime.

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Okay, let's finish up with FAQs.

Hank, you got them.

Oh, I actually, can I do an FAQ myself, please?

Hey guys, longtime listener was wondering if you feel a little intimidated about the new guy being a complete heartthrob and girls on TikTok lusting for him.

No, it's an awesome trend.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's called you're Zacking.

Yeah.

For people who missed it, Zach, you got some admirers.

No, there was a kind woman on the other night that give me a shout-out.

Shout out to her.

Shout out to her.

Yeah.

But the comments, too, were like, Zach's got it.

Those people are very kind.

Yeah.

100%.

Yeah.

She completed the Zach challenge.

Yeah.

Just listen to Zach and love Zach.

Yeah, loving Zach.

Dude, this podcast.

It would make me so happy if this podcast got you late.

Not much of an intercourse guy.

That's going to make him want you so much more, Zach.

You know that.

Dude, girls are going to get so fucking porny for that.

Like, I don't even, I don't even like it.

Whatever intercourse guy.

I should have kept it to myself.

I'll say this, though.

That's a challenge.

That's a challenge to the girl AWL is up there.

Probably the first thing that your mom will appreciate you saying on this show.

Like, oh, my sweet little boy.

Not much of an intercourse guy.

What does that even mean?

We got so many FAQs.

Should probably get on the next one.

We got so many.

All right.

Yeah, let's go to the next one.

Oh, this one's relatable.

I may miss it, but how did Zach come about being on the show?

I love the edition, but I was wondering about the backstory.

Yeah.

Zach, do you want to start or you want me to tell a little of it too?

However, you'd like, sir.

Okay.

All right.

Well, all right.

So tell the leading up to the Grooten, then I'll take it from the Grooten.

So what were you doing before?

And kind of, you know, what was your life like in

relationship with Barstool?

I was running clip accounts on TikTok and Instagram and then selling cars as well.

And then

they had a listing for

production assistance and help with Jungroom because you guys hired him or got

groomed late last year.

And they're like, hey, we're in Tampa.

We're going to have

some interviews.

Here's a little bit of interview process.

A couple of different like Google Docs situation, some emails.

And then

I was fortunate enough to be invited out to the in-person interviews.

And I didn't get the job.

Yeah.

What was Gruin like in that interview?

He's an electric guy.

Really

to the point,

pretty fun.

It was a little overwhelming because I am a Bucks fan growing up.

So he brought us to the Super Bowl.

So there was a little bit of pressure there.

And what was the

shining moment from that that maybe caught Dave's eye?

I know he did have a good.

All right, I'll take it from here.

All right, so they

had it in.

That's okay.

You're doing a great job.

They were trying to hire a Gruden's assistant.

They brought a bunch of guys in.

Zach was Zach,

which pops off the camera.

But then there was a moment where they did a task where they're watching a game and that everyone on burner accounts and they said, tweet like you're tweeting from John Gruden's account.

Tweet clips throughout the game and we're going to judge those.

Zach tweeted zero clips in the first half and said that when asked about it, you basically were like, well, I kind of got nervous and then I fell behind the eight ball and it was a little self-miscommunication was the exact line.

That was, it was.

Yeah.

So you just sat there for an entire half of football, just kind of frozen.

Trying to get it back together.

There was some, yeah, there was some frozen moments for sure.

It was you at the costume store.

yeah no no we were moving it worse it was worse because it for an entire half football i didn't finish the assignment you didn't do anything i did i was trying to get there and like i just it got mixed up and you're right it was a miscommit it was a self-miscommunication well i know i'm right because you said that which is a great term i don't know how to regulate so so flash forward so he he was electric didn't get the job uh march madness comes around First weekend, Dave is like, hey, I brought that Zach kid.

I want to see if

you like him

and you can have him in Chicago.

And our first conversation went exactly like a lot of these conversations go, where I was like, we just started talking and you had flown in on Thursday morning.

And I said,

yeah, I want you to, I want you to, I was like, when do you fly back?

You said, Monday morning.

I said, change that tonight.

And you said, oh, so I have to leave tonight.

Should I go right to the airport?

This is Thursday.

I said, no, no, no, change it to Monday night because I want you to come on the act and just be in the office.

And then I loved you from right away.

And I told Dave, let's do it.

Let's get him hired and

cream team, couple appearances on the act.

And I was like, you'd be perfect in PMT.

And now here you are.

I'm very grateful for the opportunity.

I look forward to

helping the team to the best of my ability as much as I can.

Yeah.

Very much so.

And it was heartbreaking.

When I thought I heard you go, no, change it to tonight, the flight, my heart sunk a little bit.

I was like, oh, there's no way I messed it up this bad.

Yeah.

it was a simple conversation we were having.

I just said, I said, when are you going home?

He said, Monday morning.

I said, change it to the night.

It sounds like tonight.

Yeah, that does.

I could see how that is.

But it also was at like 7 p.m.

that Thursday night.

And he thought I was literally telling him to get out of here and go to the airport.

Just like, pretty much, go.

Yeah, like, you suck, go.

And you're like, and you just said, so should I go to the airport right now?

He said, no, no, no.

Monday night.

And then the rest is history.

Did you ever want to move to Chicago?

Chicago is definitely far from where I was currently living at the time.

Definitely a bit of an adjustment period.

But I've enjoyed the city of Chicago for sure.

Was there a moment where you're like, you know, during that weekend that you're up here that you're like, I think I'm doing it good.

I think they like me.

No, I didn't think I was.

Initially, I came up here

just like...

At some points when I was here the first time, I felt like I wasn't helping enough.

And I was like, there needs to be something.

I'm messing something up.

I don't know.

It was in my head a little bit.

I think Dave was also judging you a lot based on if you were if he was winning bets by you being that was

the Florida bet was big the first one the second one went bad yeah went couldn't have gone worse yeah but I mean here you are

I appreciate you guys having me yeah

we're here west coast

we're so far west right now look at you now we're so far west yeah do you ever when do you think you'll feel comfortable being like oh i'm i'm good i'm here

I think I'm getting

much more comfortable around you guys for sure.

Like, I feel like we're, we're, like, I want to call it bonding a little bit.

Oh, definitely bonding.

I feel bonded a little bit too.

We're going to go eat ice cream later.

I'd like for you to stand up for yourself a little bit more.

Okay.

That's okay.

I feel like I stepped on Zach's foot earlier and he said, sorry about that.

Yeah.

I said, Zach, I just stepped on your foot.

It was a tight kitchen.

Big feet.

Listen, if Hank steps on your foot, you have permission to be like, Hank, what the fuck?

But I'm sorry.

I wouldn't hate it if you slapped Hank.

Like, just if he gets out of line, just crack him one.

It's chill week, dude.

I'm not into physical violence too much, Hank.

You're good.

We're all good.

Yeah.

All right.

Throw him in the lake.

How did the lottery ball machine start?

I went underway on a submarine for a couple months a few years ago and was confused when I came back to listen to the show.

Okay.

Good question.

It was COVID, right?

And oh, it was the NHL lottery,

whatever year that was.

Everyone was saying it was rigged, right?

Remember that year?

The Black Hawks won.

Was it?

No,

it wasn't a lot of.

It was NBA, because I don't think NHL always does.

No, I think it was after the LL.

NBA doesn't show the lottery ball.

NHL does.

I thought it was after NBA.

I think it was like three or four, whatever it was.

It was during COVID.

It was one of the leagues, did their lottery ball.

People thought it was rigged.

I was like, you know what I need?

I need a lottery ball machine.

I bought it.

It was like two grand from China.

That was the original one.

And then we just were like, well, there's so many things we can do.

Like, guess the numbers.

And that's pretty much all we've done with it.

Except we did the Blake of the Year that one year, and that was really bad.

We also did one on macrodosing where you just pull up a number and then you race to be the first guy to say a jersey number that that was

like from that dude.

That's good.

It's a good game.

But I do love the lottery ball machine.

Just another form of gambling, I guess.

Memes, what?

This is a 2020 lottery.

2020 NHL lottery.

Yeah, they're saying the lottery.

Yeah, during Wade.

Yeah, yeah, during COVID.

Yeah, yeah.

So, yeah, because they showed it on screen.

Memes, you love the lottery ball machine, right?

No, we were watching a game show last night at Margaritaville, and there was just a ping-pong ball show, and I was just disturbed by it.

Because three wasn't coming up.

It's great because this was Hank's burden for the longest time.

And I think that what we'll have to do, so this is lottery ball machine number two.

I think the day that memes gets it, we have to buy another lottery ball machine and start all over again.

Don't you guys agree?

Well, he's never gonna get it he isn't gonna get it but we do we should buy another one

sure why no i'll buy it i don't care well i mean but that that's the whole point of it is one person's just not gonna get it for the longest time and it's gonna kill them and eat them aside can we get a giant one yeah i wanted a really giant big ass one yeah we can get a big one

yeah hell yeah i want like shoots and ladders and I'm just rooting for memes to beat Hank and that that day

isn't that it's pretty pretty close the way that was phrased though is confusing you want him to have a longer streak of not getting it than Hank correct

beat him in being bad yes yes no it's a long time yeah they're not a year it's a year but three episodes per week

so less than a year in podcast not getting a lottery ball for a year is very that makes sense how many how many what's the number you're away from him i think it's like 370 300 it's like a year 370 days yeah okay got it wow i don't know how many podcast days that is, though.

I don't think that matters, though.

Yeah, it wasn't podcast days.

We haven't even done 500.

We're just...

I think next week's our 500th episode.

That's true.

Do you miss being able to go to live sporting events you can't go to anymore?

No NFL games except Monday nights has to be tough.

Yeah, it's a small sacrifice, but there.

There are some times, like when I found out that the Commanders are playing the Dolphins in Madrid, I thought that would be a sick-ass game to go to.

Yeah.

Go over to Spain.

But no, honestly, getting to watch games on your couch is way better than being at the games usually anyways yeah i actually don't i don't have that feeling during nfl sundays because i want to watch all the games i have that feeling like

if there's other games going on and it's like oh i want to go to the blackhawks game or like but i can't because there's other games going on it's like you know we got to watch this so it's more that yeah like random weeknights where it's like we have something going on i can't go to this game yeah i i think going to like a couple nfl games a year would be a lot of fun.

And if we can do it on a Monday night, we sometimes try to make that happen.

Yeah.

But yeah, overall, like sitting on your couch at home with your own snacks and your own food, not having to drive and park and then leave and drive and park, it's the best.

It would, the one thing that would hurt me if I couldn't go to baseball games.

Baseball games are the best in the summer.

I've been to like 13 Cubs games.

So that I'll just keep doing.

And that's kind of our offseason anyway.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

Last one.

Two weeks ago, you talked about balls in or out for years.

The argument at blue collar drops has been over or through underwear thoughts.

Seems as an age always picks the through.

Wait, through?

I'm confused with that question.

We talked about balls going over or under the underwear.

Or no, over or through.

Over or through.

So what's the question?

Do you go balls over or through?

Over.

Yeah, I feel like it's kind of the same question.

I like the same question.

I like to keep the balls separate.

The balls usually stay indoors.

I think I go everything over.

So you would go balls through the underwear, but over the pants?

No, I'm saying

I try to keep the balls indoors.

He keeps them under everything?

Like

just the dick comes out.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Is that crazy?

I like to go everything over and flop my balls onto my underwear.

You flop them all?

Yeah, flap them onto the underwater.

So that way the front of your pants is always covered in ball sweat.

Well, I mean, my balls aren't that sweaty.

They're not big enough to be sweaty.

So, no, I guess.

I keep the balls indoors.

General rule.

This is also one of those questions that I just can never...

I have to go do it to tell you what my answer is.

You know what I mean?

You don't even think about it.

It's such a,

it just happens.

Don't you guys agree?

Yeah.

I just couldn't.

Run a simulation.

Run a thousand simulations.

I'll go check right now.

95% of the time, I think the balls don't go over the top or through the front.

The balls stay where they are.

And then everything else.

We need to fill a bush or the Phillies just lost on a walk-off inside the park home run.

Oh, my God.

Free run, walk-off inside the park.

Is that why Jolen B just tweeted?

Oh, my God, no way.

Maybe.

I don't know.

It's like

so fucking bad.

That's really bad.

Walk off inside the park home run's awesome.

Was that infinite?

And B just tweeted,

OMG, no F way.

Yeah, he's watching the game.

Wait, it sounds like he's rooting against the Phillies.

I would have had the exact same reaction.

That's true.

Okay, weird revelation.

I'm kind of like half in, half out.

Did you go over top?

I'm holding my balls and my dick.

Okay.

Does that make sense?

So you just hold, you support everything.

I support everything.

But my hand is kind of almost in my...

Half of my hand is kind of in the underwear, but it's also kind of.

Yeah, I get it.

You know what?

I think it really matters about the pants.

The weight is.

Really good point.

Yep.

Because some

all elastics are not built the same.

Yeah, because the jeans, I'll unzip and just go through that.

Yeah.

Through the zipper.

Yeah.

Any kind of sweatpants, elastic, I'll go over.

Yeah.

Okay.

High-level talk.

Yeah.

Basically the same conversation.

All right.

Good show, boys.

Good show.

Chill week.

Let's kick it back to ourselves in studio for memes to get the lottery ball.

Okay.

We're back in studio for the numbers.

Three.

And chill week will continue.

I'm going to go 100.

I'll go

21.

77.

I was literally pointing at Shane.

I was like, say 21 before I was going to say before Memes says it, but

well, now you have to play.

Yeah, now you have to play.

Now you got to play offense.

No, it's playing offense.

Yeah.

6.

14.

70.

1.

99.

Pook.

Eighty-five

gates.

What was yours, memes?

Seventy-seven.

Really, all we care about is customer snaps.

Too quick, you said, man.

37.

Love you guys.