Rachel Nichols, Celtics Win Big, Pacers And Wolves Go Up, Derek Carr Retires, NHL Playoffs, Max Is Back And Jordon Of The Week

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On today's part of my take, we have our good friend Rachel Nichols back on the show talking some NBA playoffs.

We also have Max.

He's back.

Max is back.

We're going to talk about all the playoff action from this weekend.

Got a little NFL news we're going to get to.

We got who's back.

And then we will finish with Max giving us gifts from Hawaii and Jordan of the week.

She's back in the news.

We screwed up our recording by about three hours because we said on Thursday night, man, it stinks we don't have any new Jordan news.

And then we got the bomb show.

Yeah, they always wait till Friday sometimes to put out the old Jordan bomb.

Yeah, so Jordan of the Week, two weeks running.

Great show coming your way.

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The playoffs are on, so why not take a a shot and making a little money while you're watching download the draft kings pick six app right now and use code take that's code take play five dollars get 50 in bonus picks better payouts bigger wins only on pick six from draft kings the crown is yours today is monday may 12th and max and the celtics are back celtics are so bad the two of them combined the celtics are down one to two in this series, but it feels like they're up three to one.

Yeah, Hank, we got a better mood, Hank, here.

We're ready to go.

Hank, you are dominating the series one to two.

We should probably start with this because

we need to pump up our boy, get him back.

There were some comments that were like, hey, Hank's just, you know,

he's down in the dumps again.

He's

got negative Nancy not talking.

Well, that's true.

Whoever said that did not pay attention because Hank very clearly said that he wasn't worried.

Yeah.

Was not worried.

So the Celtics on Saturday, we're going to talk about every game from this weekend.

The Celtics on Saturday kicked the shit out of the Knicks.

Jason Tatum showed up in his fully laced up Timberlands, ready to go to work.

What does that look for, Hank?

Why'd you have to clarify they were fully laced?

Well, he was wearing Timberlands because it was a New York game.

He was like, I'm the bad guy.

This is him doing the Joker.

Well, I mean, it's just like he.

I mean, the Joker did the Joker.

I know, literally, the Joker.

A guy with aura would have

the loose Timberlands, I would say.

Got it.

Yeah, Mr.

Big Cat.

Safety first.

Mr.

Big Cat decider of aura for basketball.

No, safety first.

If you go to troll with somebody, you wear a black hoodie and the same pair of shoes.

You wear the same shit every day, too.

You win one game?

Yeah, you do.

No, I do.

You wear the same shit every day, too.

We all wear the same shit.

But I'm not deciding who has aura.

It's literally, this room is just PFT dresses like a fifth grader, and then everyone else wears a hoodie and sweatshirt and joggers.

That's it.

That's the entire fashion of part of my date.

I mean, today I'm wearing a hoodie and basically joggers.

Yo, that was crazy.

Well, no, you wear, you dress the same as me.

But I don't sit here and decide how Jason Tatum, the fucking NBA superstar should be.

Well, first of all, did I

all I said was they were fully laced up.

I was explaining the situation.

They were fully laced up.

I would.

Jason Tatum is essentially the same playoff performer as Joel Embiid.

We also established that on Friday.

He did say, like, the nodding of the laces.

It's like, come on, man.

Yeah.

Thank you, PFP.

But he was like,

I will troll them.

He's not going to a construction construction site.

I will troll them, but also I don't want to trip on myself.

Yeah, he doesn't want to hurt his ankles.

It's pretty important.

Okay.

Well, is he?

I thought you said he was an elite athlete.

Elite athletes should be able to walk around with untied shoes and not trip on themselves.

Whatever.

Either way, Hank, good job.

You won a game.

Thank you.

It does feel

not great for the Knicks because

they're up 2-1.

But it felt like the Celtics were going to finally make their threes, and then they finally made their threes, and they won by 30.

I guess it was closer closer in the end

where they win by like 20, 22.

But they were, this game was never in doubt.

They scored, what, 71 in the first half?

How are you feeling?

I feel good.

I'm happy I said I wouldn't be worried if they went down 0-2.

They came out.

They

showed what they needed to do.

I feel like that's going to be - they're going to win this series in six.

Oh, so that's it.

That's it for the Knicks.

Yeah.

I actually have a stat for you that might make you a little worried.

Okay.

You ready for it?

Yeah.

This is Advanced Analytics.

In the last three seasons in the playoffs, the Knicks record in the second round,

when playing on ESPN, they're 0-8.

This game was on ESPN.

When playing on TNT, they're 7-1.

I looked ahead.

Monday's ESPN, so that's a win, so it's 2-2.

Wednesday's TNT.

Now the Knicks are back up 3-2.

Friday's ESPN.

Damn, 3-3.

Monday is TNT.

So you're going to lose in seven.

No team is going to win a home game.

I kind of like that.

I got some advanced analysts.

I love dumb stats like that.

For here, too, Hank.

The Knicks are so fucking tough.

They're just tough.

They're just a tough fucking team.

Not complaining about injuries or using excuses.

No, they just don't give up.

Carl Anthony Townse might have broken his finger.

I love Katz so much.

His fingernails?

He's so fucking zesty.

When he hit his first three, I think it was his first three since the Pistons series, and he did like a, he kissed his hand.

He's so funny.

I also don't know why the Knicks don't get him involved more.

When they asked him about his injury, he said, what happens in the locker room stays in the locker room.

Love that.

It happened on the court.

Yeah.

Yeah, that seems like a cliche.

He got his cliches mixed up.

And he was definitely injured, yeah.

Wait, or did something happen in the locker room?

It might have.

If we know it's staying in there, if we don't know, it's going to stay in there.

There was a clip that you could see him say, I think I broke my finger.

Okay, but in the locker room.

But in the locker.

It's broken.

He pulls his finger.

He says, I broke it.

Dislocated, maybe?

So he goes in the locker room.

Maybe he gets into, he just flips somebody off real hard.

I don't know.

And then hyperextends it, makes it worse.

Maybe he pointed at someone and said, you, and like, kind of wagged it a little too hard.

Yeah, I don't know.

But, yeah, Hank, it does feel like Water finds its level, and the Celtics weren't going to be a terrible.

three-point shooting team for forever.

It is weird that it happened two games in a row.

I actually,

obviously the Celtics hit their shots.

The Celtics defense is what won this game.

They have Jalen Brunson in hell.

I know he still is scoring, but he has to work so hard for everything.

And when the Knicks refuse to, I feel like they don't run plays for Cat where they just give him the ball and they're like, hey, figure this out, Kat.

And then you have role players who don't step up enough.

Yeah, it was.

The Celtics defense was the, and Peyton Pritchard.

Celtics defense and Peyton Pritchard were the winners of this game,

in my eyes.

I agree.

Yeah, Peyton Pritchard was awesome.

He's so fun to watch when he's hot.

I got a question for you, Hank.

We talked about Christophs having whatever he has.

There's been more reports.

Shams even reported in his report, he told us absolutely nothing.

He was just like, yeah, he wakes up some days.

He's tired.

He probably needs to do a follow-up to Luca being like, he slept all day.

I think I got that.

Yeah.

He's taking IVs, everything.

Is there a chance that you trust Luke Cornette more than Christophs at this point?

No.

I mean, Lou Cornette's not bad.

Lou Cornett's good.

Lou Cornette's no, he's a good player.

Not exactly the offensive

spark plug that Porzingis is, but he's good defensively.

He knows his role, but I think you'd rather.

I mean, Porzingis hasn't even, his offense hasn't been that good.

Well, yeah, he's dealing with whatever he's dealing with.

But again, like they made it to the finals last year.

He just needs to be a spark.

Porzingas just needs to be a spark.

I feel like you will need Porzingis in the finals.

Right?

Does that part weird you at at all?

Are you already on to the finals?

You can beat the Knicks.

You guys are already up in the series.

We've established that.

Yeah, we're onto the finals.

Yeah.

But then

not having Perzingis, then it becomes an issue for you.

We have him, though.

He's going to get healthier and healthier.

He's going to

catch more of his breath.

Hopefully, whatever he has fades away.

He'll be back.

I think he'll be fine.

Going into this game, were you nervous?

Or were you like, hey, we're going to win this game by a lot?

Yeah, I was confident.

Okay.

Not nervous at all.

Were you worried about the garden?

No, the garden is the most overrated.

No team has.

Well, you can say right now, both gardens, no team has won a home game.

Yeah.

So

I also am addicted to, so I'm addicted to two things on the Knicks.

And I do think the Knicks are in a lot of trouble.

Cat, just being Cat, is very funny to watch.

He's just so zesty.

And then Mitchell Robinson shooting free throws.

And I don't know if you guys saw this, but we had one of the most ridiculous.

I don't know if there was like a weekend intern running the ESPN account.

Mitchell Robinson got to the free throw line.

The Knicks fans tried to cheer him on.

And ESPN tweeted the Knicks crowd supported Mitchell Robinson while he was at the free throw line bigger than basketball.

I thought

at a moment, when I read that at first, I was like, does Mitchell Robinson have some illness I do not know about?

Is Mitchell Robinson, did he have like some horrific thing happen as a child that makes it so he can't shoot free throws?

His basketball hoop burned down when he was a kid and his family died in the fire.

Something.

No, he just can't shoot free throws and it's bigger than basketball.

They're cheering for him, which is, wait, correct me if I'm wrong.

Free throws are a part of the sport of basketball.

Correct.

So they're cheering him from the line.

This is what when Philly did it, we said good sports town for Trey Turner.

This is.

Remember that?

Yeah.

The same thing, except it's not working.

It's making him airball the ball worse.

He airballs like every so great, but bigger than basketball.

That's something that happens.

That's Little League World Series shit.

Where they're like, yeah, it's bigger than sports.

These kids high-fiving, playing ping-pong after,

you know, Chinese Taipei beats them by 100.

Yeah, I mean, New York as a sports town should be booing him.

Yeah.

Right?

That's what great sports towns do.

Agreed.

They hold their players accountable.

I think maybe they've reached the end of their booing where they're like, we've already booed enough.

That's not working.

We got to try something, anything else.

You know what?

Some things are bigger than the game.

Bigger than battle.

They priced out the real fans out of the guard.

No, Chalamay was there.

But like anyone that, you know, the cheapest ticket to get in was like 900 bucks.

Ben Steller?

I mean, that is how playoffs work in all sports.

When your team goes to the playoffs and then goes deeper into the playoffs, the tickets do get more expensive.

I do think, though, that a city like New York, you should have, you have to work on the wording of this to make it a little, you know, smooth around the edges.

A poor section?

Like for the real fans, right?

Well, I mean, there's like, there's a shitload of people in New York that are die-hard fans of the Knicks that aren't A-list celebrities that would like to be able to go to a game that do make a difference in terms of cheering for their team.

Well, I mean, season ticket holders still have tickets.

And those guys are diehards and don't have to be like billionaires.

I'm sure those are very expensive, though.

Yeah, they are.

But, I mean,

it's how sports work.

The ticket prices go up.

It sucks.

I mean, the garden was electric for a team that got absolutely killed.

Like, it was loud.

Yeah.

Yeah, in the beginning.

It was very loud.

So you're not not intimidated by the garden at all.

0%.

Do you think

if there was a poor section, they wouldn't have made a bigger-than-basketball moment with Mitchell Robinson?

They definitely would have not.

They would have moved.

They would have done the right thing as sportsman.

It's like the Titanic.

Yeah, you need the guys.

You have way more fun below death.

You need the guys who ripped down Julius Randall's fat head

a couple years ago when he was injured.

Like, they're assholes, but they're your assholes.

Yeah, yeah.

No, I see what you're saying.

So, Max, you missed basically the worst week that you could have missed because I think we all,

when the Knicks were up 2-0, we're like, this is funny, but if the Celtics hit some shots,

it's not going to be funny much longer.

And you missed that whole week.

So, yeah, Celtics probably aren't going to lose a game the rest of the playoffs.

Oh, wow.

Wow.

Max has come all the way around.

I can tell you meant that.

What was the feedback on your Embiid versus

Tatum take?

I stand by it.

No, what was the feedback?

I mean,

I had people

trying to dunk on me for Tatum going, going having 20 points and going 8 of 20 from the field.

Great.

Huge game.

Hank?

Any other feedback?

Stadthole gave me some numbers that backs up what I said.

Uh-huh.

Did he give you any numbers regarding not playing in the playoffs?

Yeah, the Celtics are a better team.

Do you think that that is a point in favor of Jason Tatum, though?

The fact that Embiid has missed a lot of important playoff games?

Injuries are a shame.

What about playoff points scored before 27 years old?

Do you see that stat?

I didn't see that.

No, I didn't see that stat.

Who's leading in that?

Wait, is that a participation?

That's participation?

Who's leading in the second?

Yeah, per game.

Is Tim still under 27 years old?

Or is he 27?

He's under 28.

Under 27.

He's under 28.

Are they going to just keep bumping that up?

He's going to be under 29 next year?

Yeah, I'll probably be winning that one, too.

Max, do you just root against any superstar in the playoffs?

Jason Tatum is not a superstar.

Oh, let's embrace debate.

Memes?

Oh, yeah.

Let's go.

Well, memes, memes just kept saying it.

Every time you kept saying,

Jason Tatum is a superstar.

He was like, Memes just kept saying, star.

Star.

Listen, we had this debate last year.

I'm very critical of you.

You don't get your own Jordan if you're not a superstar.

I'm very critical of the tag superstar.

People got mad at me when I said Jalen Brunson wasn't a superstar.

I have like four superstars in the whole league.

Yeah.

I'm fine with that.

Yeah.

He didn't play on the Olympic team.

He didn't didn't play.

Who are the four?

Like, so it's Jokic, it's Giannis, it's Luca,

and then it's there's like the aging group of superstars that's like Steph, LeBron, KD.

It's not my, I don't go.

Superstar to me is if you said their name like to your mom or someone on the street, they would immediately be like, yeah, of course I know who that is.

Yeah, Jason Satan's in there.

He's in this domain commercial.

He's a star.

I'm very critical of the super.

We've done this, so I don't want to rehash it, but like, it's not a knock on him.

Jalen Brunson, I feel the same way.

It's like he's a star.

Superstar has to be like one of the like everyone knows who that person is.

If you're a star in New York, though, that gives you a little extra bump, though.

Yeah, that's true.

Listen, some people have superstar threshold is different than mine.

I don't know if I put Luke in there just yet.

I think he was.

I think he's a superstar.

I think he was.

And now he's not.

Now he's not.

Now He's got taken out a superstar.

Yeah.

He's like one of those stars that's about to engulf the

sun is

right there.

He's like the sun in 40 billion years when it swallows Howard.

Albert Burton.

I have like SGA,

Tatum,

Brunson, Anthony Edwards, like right there.

Okay.

I mean, we'll just have to keep winning championships and see how you move the stake back.

Well, no, my superstar.

Well, what about the story?

I don't think you say keep winning championships when you've only won one.

Well, we've won one.

Keep winning makes a

win again and we're continuously winning championships.

You are not continuously winning.

We are the current champions, and if we win another one, that would mean we kept winning.

You are losing the series.

No, no, he's not.

You are.

Are we going to not lose the series?

No, you're not.

So then.

So don't do that.

Save it, Max.

And Biet and Tatum are the same player.

Their fourth quarter numbers are exactly the same.

Their offensive rating is exactly the same.

Embiid's better defensive rating.

He has a better plus-minus per game.

They're the same.

It's just tough.

They played in a game seven, and Jason Tatum went off to beat the Sixers after coming back from three to two.

I will never understand this.

Oh, coming back from three to two.

Oh, my God.

The most surprising thing in all of fucking sports.

Who's going to forget the team that came back from three to two?

I feel like he's being sarcastic right now.

I I don't understand.

You just said that.

It was like, like it was the Red Sox meeting the Yankees down 3-0.

When we were talking about head-to-heads, comparisons usually have a lot of fun.

The way you just said that was like Yankees-Red Sox.

Yeah, actually, just wait till the Celtics come back from being down to Reds.

But that, like, that

showed something.

Max, do you root against every superstar in the playoffs so that you can say, like, Embiid's actually better than that guy?

No, just...

The so-called superstar of the Boston Celtics.

Okay.

Okay.

Shout out to Stadthole Sports.

He's the best.

Yeah.

We have.

Wait, so these are the Stad Hole Sports.

He has all these numbers up here?

Yeah, these are what he said.

He sent me two things.

One of them is just like overall, and then the other one is actually bizarre.

It's like their fourth quarter numbers.

Better at offense and better defense.

No, God.

Wrong defense.

It's better to have a lower number.

Okay, Max, do you know what any of these numbers are that we're looking at?

Yeah, I don't know.

One is 110.2 to 108.3.

What goes into player rate?

Yeah, I need to know.

I don't know.

What goes into war?

Some guns.

No, we didn't bring up war.

But that's what I'm saying.

It's important.

I don't know what goes into it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

But this also

has Tatum is better than Embiid in both numbers.

Wrong.

The defense.

It's better to have.

He explained this to me because I was confused as well.

Defense, it's better to have a lower number.

That is crazy.

Max said to me.

It is.

Yeah, I just schedule like a Zoom call with

so he could explain each number and why.

I mean, and make sure that it's so it's better to be higher in offense than lower in offense.

Correct.

Actually, that does make sense.

That does make sense.

All right.

Okay.

Want to talk about some other games?

Do you think they're going to continue to cheer?

These are the two robbers in the fourth quarter ones, by the way.

We'll put all these numbers up in the younger.

But

we're not going to get into it.

Crazy.

Literally the same percentage.

What do they say?

Player shooter shots made in the final five minutes.

That's clutch time, baby.

Of a five-point game or less.

they have the exact same percentage.

Okay.

Wow.

Okay.

0.348.

Same player.

Same guy.

But I mean, that's.

I hate how you're turning this into a pure numbers argument.

Also, doesn't that mean...

But does that mean they just

guy?

Don't cosplay as a numbers guy.

That was the whole point of this argument.

You're a trenches guy.

You're not a trenches.

Remember when Hank did this numbers thing with us?

You and numbers does not.

When he did the Thunder Celtics, he did this exact same thing.

You guys have twisted that argument and words that I've said into a place I can't even begin to come back from.

Max, PFT is right.

You're not a numbers guy.

That would be like Hank dressing nice on a regular day.

Like, you're not a numbers guy.

Yeah.

You look really weird.

He's not a numbers guy.

You're an emotions guy.

Yes.

Yeah, you're a fucking

piss and vinegar guy.

You're a gut guy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're a meatball.

You are a literal meatball.

There's no numbers to meatballs.

Yeah.

It's good.

It's good.

If you're going to be a numbers guy, you got to go all in.

You got to start wearing khakis and wear glasses and shit.

The little umbrella, the belt.

Yeah.

Steve Karnaki shit.

Yeah.

Just stop being a numbers guy for a while.

Yeah.

All right.

Let's talk about Tim Browse Warriors because Steph is still not playing, and the Warriors are very difficult to watch.

Yeah, very, very tough watch without him.

They are very difficult.

They were leading at half without making a three.

I mean, credit to Jimmy Butler and Caminga for keeping this game close, but this game was Julius Randle.

Julius Randle has been so good.

He's their most consistent player.

Anthony Edwards, I know, I think he had 36.

And Anthony Edwards obviously has a higher ceiling and all that stuff.

Julius Randles in these playoffs has been Mr.

Consistency.

And it's crazy to watch him make the right pass instead of doing his old school spin move where he spins to no one, being all over the boards.

He's not forcing it.

He's letting the game come to him.

And it's cool to watch a guy find a good spot.

Probably going to piss off Knicks fans to watch this, but he is Mr.

Consistency, and he was triple-double in this game.

Yeah, so actually, Anthony Edwards gets better the better Julius Randle gets too.

Yeah.

It's like a force multiplier because as dangerous as Edwards is when he's dribbling the ball and he's attacking, he's about to just dunk through everybody.

He's also that dangerous when he's moving without the ball if he has somebody that can get it to him in the right place.

And that's Julius Randle right now, who's softening up,

just burying his

shoulders into people's solar solar plexus, backing them down, and then finding Anthony Edwards cutting.

They are fun to watch when they do that.

And credit to the Golden State Warriors because they played some good defense.

They were really good defensively.

They mucked it up.

They have to get real dirty and chippy and nasty with it, which they did in the first half.

And then it was just too much at the end.

They couldn't get a shot when they needed a shot.

And the highlight of the fourth quarter was a guy in the stands that looked very similar to Mike Dunlevy making out with a woman as Jimmy Butler was on camera.

Yes.

I don't think that was actually him.

No.

But it's fun to pretend that it was.

I agree.

Also, the highlight of this game was Draymond Green knowing the spread and telling his guys to cover the spread.

Yeah, five and a half.

Now, was he telling his guys or was he telling the other team, like, what's the spread?

Five and a half?

Yeah, we got this.

Just watched.

I think it was coming out of a huddle because Draymond Green had fouled out of the game.

I don't know if you can find the clip, Max.

Max does the funny thing after he goes toe-to-toe with Hank.

He just kind of sits back and like stops, takes like a timeout, mental timeout.

Oh, yeah, I was processing, replaying everything in his head.

He thinks about what he said.

The show is still going.

People are going to get upset about this.

No, I can't believe I said that.

No, that was good.

Can't believe I tried to do math.

He just didn't have his hands anywhere near his computer there when we started bringing it.

I shouldn't have brought up the thing about keep winning.

Yeah.

Yeah, you might be right.

It might be again, might be telling the wolves.

I think he was telling Nas Reed.

That's what it looks like.

He was, was that Nas?

I think so.

Five and a half.

He's like five and a half.

Yeah, watch this.

Yeah.

We got this.

I also like that people.

And they make a three.

This is rigged.

There was 15 seconds left.

The Warriors were going to try to score.

Yeah.

I don't, you can't rig.

It'd be one thing if it was they were up, if it was, you know, the Wolves had said five and a half, and they're like, hey, let the Warriors score here so they can cover.

Or if Nas had looked at him and been like, yeah, okay, got it, five and a half.

And then told his teammates, like, hey, like, don't play defense.

Don't play defense.

Which they might not have been playing that tough defense because the game was out of hand at that point.

Correct.

And they're just like, don't foul.

Right, right.

But it is funny to see, it looks, I haven't seen anybody suggest anything else besides him saying that it was five and a half there.

Yeah.

And what else could the player play?

Oh, it was absolutely five and a half.

I'm just happy that we keep doing the awoo, the awoo tweet.

I would like to see Steph Curry play in this game.

I don't really want to see Gary Payton and

Gary Payton Jr., the second, sorry,

and Patzimski just like miss a million shots.

Buddy Hill's actually been like decent.

Yeah.

He's not.

You can't expect much more from what Buddy Hill is giving.

No, you can't expect much.

We're at max Buddy Hill.

You can't expect much more from this team.

No.

It's Jimmy Butler basically making incredible footwork plays in one-on-one basketball and then shooting it over Rudy Gobert, who does affect every shot.

And you're hoping that all of them go in and then maybe you have a chance.

Yeah, your prayer is to get a Jimmy Butler 50-point game.

And Kaminga did have his 30-point game, so that was tough that it came in a loss.

I don't see them winning another game without Steph.

It could happen if Jay-Butt does the Jay-Butt thing.

Yeah.

And yeah,

I just, the Wolves are fun.

Julius Randall, fun.

I like watching the Wolves.

And I like watching, I mean, Anthony Edwards, that dunk he had.

Woo!

And also, you know what?

You know what I'm rooting for?

Mike Conley.

I like Mike Conley a lot.

Of course.

Good guy.

And he adds like a

like he had, I think it was like late in the game.

I watched all these games on real.

I saved them on YouTube TV and watched them on my flight back.

It was like towards the end of the game where he was just playing really good defense.

I was like, Mike Conley, I fucking like that.

That's the dad in you.

I had that.

Dads love Mike Conley.

Oh, they meant the recording because that also is what my dad does.

No, that too.

But like, dads love Mike Conley.

Oh, yeah.

He's the perfect guy for a dad to watch.

Be like, that's why they can win the championship.

I just like Mike Conley.

Yeah.

Shout out Mike Conley.

He does do all the little things.

Yeah.

All right.

Nuggets Thunder has been a weird series, 2-2.

Since we last recorded, though, we had the overtime game on Friday night where

I don't want to

reduce playoff basketball into one simple thing, but I think in this game you can, where it simply was the Denver Nuggets are former champions and the Oklahoma City Thunder are a young team.

And it was like, find a way to win, and the Nuggets could do it.

And the Thunder were like, hey, let's just have SGA go one-on-five and hope it works.

Yeah, I think this whole series, just in general, I guess with the exception of the blowout in game two, but there have been a lot of instances where like small coaching decisions, small like mental errors have just tilted the games in one direction or another.

And Aaron Gordon just being the man.

Mr.

Nugget.

He is so awesome.

Awesome.

Give me five Aaron Gordons.

Did you know that he built a court in his house this summer and worked on his shot all summer?

Well, it shows.

Yeah.

And he loves, like, he loves stepping back and taking those threes now.

Yeah.

He's kind of stepped into that.

His role right now is kind of what Porter was doing last year and the year before.

And also, Michael Porter Jr.

is playing with an entire ice pack on his shoulder.

Yeah, one arm at all times.

One arm just not working out.

Yeah, but so Friday night, the Nuggets have a huge win.

It's like, all right, if they can somehow win on Sunday, this series could be over.

And they, this game was horrific to watch.

The Nuggets scored eight points in the first quarter.

They were, the teams are combined one for 32 shooting at one point from three point point uh to start the game it felt like the nuggets had this game or they at least were going to have a chance to win this game and get to that pressure point of like hey we're the team that's won a championship and jokic missing those two free throws when it was 84 80 uh so yokich has not been that good like he looks like he's hurt yeah he's well they're also beating the fuck up the way he runs it looks like he like is in so much pain that's kind of always how he looks i know but it's extra he's like extra kind of i think today today it stood out slow and because like like big cat was saying the fact that the nuggets have all the experience and the thunder is so young that's kind of why the nuggets were able to win on friday night i think that's why the thunder were able to win today

after like 35 hours off yeah the thunder just bounced back and the oldest guy in the thunder is alex caruso

and the uh the nuggets were they looked like they didn't have any legs at all in the first quarter i and that now they did come back to a point where they could have I think, taken the lead on the shot, if not tied it, where Russ had the wide-open three and just airmailed it.

That was the rush shot.

I feel like he missed he wide open.

There was like a few moments in that fourth quarter where it's like, oh, here come the nuggets.

And there was at least two that had come to mind of Russ having a wide open three and missing.

And airballing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He did make that great stop against SGA, though.

Yeah.

When he was like, okay, we're going to ISO.

I'm going to get inside of his shirt.

And then I think the announcer said afterwards, he was in his chest like bronchitis.

Yep.

Which is a great call.

Great line.

How long do you think he had that one cocked and ready to go?

Wait,

but I heard it.

I was like, Yeah, that's that's right.

That's it.

Nuggets are winning.

That's true.

Bronchitis.

Yeah, but it was, I mean, those two, I know, like, well, it does come down.

You got to make your free throws.

And like, yo, it was kind of shocking to see Jokic miss those two free throws.

And it's also, we're having, we're having a competing war online of

fan bases and posting replays of Jokic flops

and

Thunder like beating the fuck out of Jokic and like which one's more egregious.

There's complaints coming from all sides.

Yeah.

Because there was that clip that went over the other night of Lou Dort just basically trying to wrestle Jokic and nothing getting called.

And then Jokic having flops and doing stuff and nothing getting called.

I think they're just not calling anything.

Ever.

Yeah.

Which I'm okay with as long as they stay consistent.

Yeah, Ludort.

Lou Dort does have a little bit of

football player playing like pickup basketball with the basketball.

He's got some sharp elbows.

Yeah.

He can't hit a three right now, too.

And I'm a torture guy.

I'm a torture chamber guy.

I love Lou Dort.

I think Jokic has some of that soccer mentality in him.

Yeah.

Kind of grew up with that European style where it's like, if you get touched, you have to sell it.

I rarely see, and I'm sure that somebody's going to send some examples of him doing like true flops.

But I feel like most of the time somebody touches him and then he exaggerates the reaction.

And I also do think there's times where he just doesn't get the call.

Yeah.

Like, because it happened to Shaq famously, of like, Shaq is so big, they don't know how to officiate him because he's so much bigger than everyone.

Yeah, I mean, the NBA got caught in a, like, it was a gap in the playbook or in the rule book where I think it was Caruso was defending against Jokic as he was going up for a layup, and Caruso had his hand on his hip, and then Jokic goes up for the layup and like flails his body a little bit.

They call the foul, then they challenge it, and they look at it, and they're like, clearly, this is a foul that should not have been called in real time, But by the letter of the law, his hand was on his hip.

So it is a foul, even though we can all see that it's not.

That was, I think that was the two free throws that he was.

It was, yeah.

Yeah, so it was a ball don't lie moment.

Big time ball don't lie.

Yeah, huge ball don't lie.

Ball don't lie for Caruso.

Yeah, but it's it's it really is a clip war going on

on both sides, and I'm just sitting here just enjoying it.

I think that today was not an enjoyable basketball game.

I should have said that.

No, it was not at all.

The first half sucked.

There were so many earballs.

Yeah.

Who do you think is going to win this series?

I think...

I do think Jokic is going to have another...

Like, he's not going to play...

And again, all in perspective, a bad Jokic game is when he's like 26 points, 12 rebounds, but he has to take like 24 shots to do it.

Yeah, what's the schedule?

I think their next game is Tuesday.

You're just going off legs?

Just going off legs right now.

Yeah, they play Tuesday, Thursday.

They don't get a day off.

Then Sunday if there's a game seven.

So that would be the only time they get two days off.

So if you're going off legs, the Nuggets have to win one of these next two, and then they get

two days off before game seven.

So I'm going to go Nuggets.

You're going to go Nugs.

I think they can steal one.

Thunder, dude.

Thunder's team's too stacked.

Are you mocking PFT right now?

I felt mocking.

He's mocking me.

They won the most games in the league.

They're the youngest team.

Guy for guy.

Guy for guy.

They're stacked.

I was just trying to impart a little

awareness to you and a little, you know,

you should be like throwing me out.

You were a little too cocky, and you got to be a little bit more humble, Hank.

I was.

That's what I did.

I took in the information like a sponge,

and now I'm giving it back, and I'm getting mocked for it.

Is that what sponges do?

Yeah.

They absorb and

after we ring you out,

twist you up.

The last series,

the Pacers.

Holy shit.

They kicked the fuck out of the Cavs tonight.

I know the Cavs, so the Cavs won on Friday night.

Donovan Mitchell was out of this world.

That one highlight was so sick of him spin-moving and then readjusting in the air.

But tonight was

Pacer ball.

I think they had 25 assists in the first half.

Insane.

Insane.

So

everyone shot.

They were shooting like 60%.

It was crazy.

They were moving the ball so well.

Halftime, they were up 80 to 39.

That's a 41-point halftime lead.

I think that's tied for the biggest halftime lead in the history of the NBA playoffs with who, Hank?

The Celtics.

The Cleveland Cavaliers over the Celtics

in 2017.

Got it.

I think that was the game you lost your wallet.

We might have been there, yeah.

Yeah.

I think that was Wallet game.

That was Wallet.

Yeah,

I left it in Cleveland, or was that 20?

Was that not the first year of part of my take?

I thought that might have been the first year.

No, because we weren't.

It was the Isaiah Thomas year.

I think it was 2017.

Eastern Conference Finals.

I think

game seven.

I think 2016.

I think it was year one of part of my take.

Nope.

That I left it there.

Nope.

Machine Gun Kelly performing at the end of the day.

Yeah, no, it was 2017 for sure.

Who could forget?

Are you going to let him just nope you like that?

I know.

I trust Hank's memory of

getting his ass kicked by LeBron.

Don't let him just nope you like that.

No, I mean, if Hank says, no, LeBron became my daddy in 2017, then I was the team we were in.

That was 2016 was Cleveland.

Max giving me a massive thumbs up.

I like that.

That was good.

No, that was good content.

But yeah, so they were up 72 to 31.

Yikes, you guys only scored 31 points in the first half against him.

Yeah, that was Kyrie.

Remember, Kyrie scored like 18 points in a row.

Yeah.

80.

I was like, I've never seen anyone play basketball.

80 to 39.

You almost beat them in game seven.

80-39 is a bigger 41-point leader than 72.

Almost beating someone in game seven.

That's what we're saying is.

Well, it's also Eastern Conference Finals, so we know Joel and B can never.

Say what you were going to say because that's a great accomplishment.

You guys should do a podcast.

Say what you're going to say at each other.

I would listen to it.

Absolutely.

I would.

No, I was saying 80 to 39 is a bigger 41-point halftime lead than 72-31.

Yeah, someone asked me, and I said the only thing bigger than 80-39 would be 70-29.

That's a huge lead.

72-31 does not even feel like 41 points.

Yeah, but 70 to 29 is...

That's massive.

70-29 is because if you have a two and a seven, that's crazy.

60 to 19?

60 to 19 is, I mean,

that's not a NBA basketball game.

That's fancy football.

No, I was going to say that's a high school girls' basketball, like, you know, the first round

of the tournament, state tournament.

Yeah.

Like the best team plays the worst team in 60 to 19.

Also, the NCAA women's tournament.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like UConn against UConn against, I don't know, Norfolk State.

Yeah.

UConn against Kennesaw.

Yeah, I like that Kennesaw Paul.

Yeah.

That was on the tip of my tongue.

Pacer, listen, I'm not going to say this series is over because I do think the Cavs are going to win the next game, and then there's a little bit more pressure.

But Charles Barkley thinks this series is over because he said, I'll see you all in Indy next week.

Say no-mos, get the steak ready.

Well done, fillet mignon.

Okay.

That is so disgusting.

That is so disgusting.

Also, I think he said filet minion.

That's also, if you're going to say well done on any cut of steak, listen, I've never wanted to judge somebody based on how they order their steak or what is and is not a temperature.

You would never do that

plus.

Yeah.

Well, well done, filet mignon.

That is quite literally a hockey puck.

Yeah.

He loves hockey.

He does.

He does love hockey.

Good point.

I mean, I do think the Pacers are going to win this.

I think they're better than the Cavs.

I just think that the Cavs are going to win game five.

So there'll be a little bit of.

Is Donovan Mitchell okay?

Oh, yeah.

Did he come back in?

He hurt himself at halftime.

Walking.

What happened to the locker room?

The Pacers team is good.

Hank.

Yeah.

You've been mocking me.

No, I like Pacer Dan.

No, I just.

Was Luca Dan last year?

They don't get any respect.

They don't get any respect.

You're right.

And you're giving it to him a lot.

You're not.

I'm not.

At all.

The thing we've learned the most in these playoffs is that any team is capable of turning into a giant ass in any given half.

Yeah.

Every team has had a suck-ass half.

Yeah.

Big time.

Big time.

And the Pacers had a whoop-ass half at the same time as the Cavs.

They had their suck-ass half.

Yeah, it was poor timing.

Wait, did Donovan Mitchell come back in the game?

I don't think he did because he only played 20 minutes.

That's not good.

I'll be honest, I tuned out the second half because I was like, the Pacers are just so much better.

So, Devil returned game after suffering an ankle injury.

Okay, I take that back.

The Pacers are going to win this series, maybe in five.

I think in five.

So, if we just going off vibes.

And I think I predicted Cavs in five or six, so I was very wrong about that.

But yeah, Pacers,

they got to go back to the old logo for the fucking Eastern Conference final.

I agree.

If the Pacers play the Knicks or the Celtics,

that's like

big time.

Like, you have to, you have to go.

Because you're going to be playing a team with a classic logo.

Correct.

And you can't be fine.

You have to fight fire with fire.

You can't be the Indiana Heat, which is what they've been wearing.

I agree.

It'd be a bad look.

So just based on vibes, the Celtics Knicks series, it's one to two.

We all agree it feels like Celtics are up three to one.

Is that fair?

I would

feel like two, two.

It feels like three and a half to one and a half.

Three and a half to one and a half.

Celtics?

Yeah.

Okay.

I don't know why that doesn't make any sense.

Timberwolves up 2-1 on Golden State.

It feels like 3.5.

Let me explain why I think 3.5, 1.5.

I feel like the Celtics are one half of basketball away from the Knicks being like, all right, we quit.

Yeah.

Like, if they come out and they just absolutely demolish, I think the Knicks will be like, that was, this is not fun.

Okay, the

T-Wolves Warriors, it's 2-1 right now for the T-Wolves.

I feel like that's 2.5 to half a game.

It might be 3.5 to half a game without Steph.

Without Steph, yeah.

But if it's 2.5 to half, then they have a better chance of getting Steph back at some point.

Yeah.

Because otherwise, you just added another game.

And then

Nuggets, Thunder.

That one to me feels like it's i think it's correct score you think so i think it's 2-2 it feels like 3-1 thunder right now no i think it's 2-2 because i think it's the the way the nuggets have won their two games has been very like we're a team that knows how to do this whereas the thunder cannot i know that it was like crazy game one obviously but like the championship medal of the nuggets dna check deserves two wins in this game okay we can go 2-2 yeah it does feel it's close to 2-2 yeah and then Pacers, Cavs.

I go 2.25 to 1.75.

Okay.

We'll roll with that.

Then Pacers Cavs, I feel like it's 4-0.

I think it's 5-1.

4-0 Pacers is what I have it at.

5-1.

Hank, do you agree with all these advanced metrics?

Yeah.

Dude, the filet mignon, well done.

Man, Hank, what if...

At St.

Elmo's.

Do you think that there's anything to Joe Missoula being really fucking happy that he was down 0-2?

I think it's just a sign of being a great coach.

It instills confidence in the team when you got someone that likes to be in those situations to, you know, inspire your players.

He likes to be drowning so he can swim to shore.

Yeah.

He wants to choke himself out.

Right.

And if you're a player, that's like, all right, we know what to do.

That would be funny if the Knicks somehow won Monday night and then Joe Missoula came out game five with just like a belt around his neck.

He's just tightening it a little bit more.

Ball gag in.

Yeah, just dressed in leather.

What happens if the Knicks do win Monday night?

Max,

let me ask you a question first.

Do you think the Knicks are going to win?

They can.

If the Knicks win Monday night, I'll tell you what's going to happen.

If the Knicks can win Monday night, I think the Celtics will 100% win game five, and then it will be just pressure cooker

two-game series.

That's what, if the Knicks can win Monday night.

Do you agree with that?

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, Monday night's their only shot.

Yeah, but I mean, if the Knicks win Monday, I don't think the Celtics, they can't come back from down three

That would be

one.

3-1.

Yeah, you're right.

Yeah, actually, the Knicks have to win Monday night because the only thing you don't want to do is have a 3-2 lead on the Celtics.

Correct.

Because Tatum will have that.

Tatum will explode.

Tatum will fucking go nuts.

You'll be rooting.

I love this, Max.

I love it.

And it's also part of how you like.

It's a good mix of your absolute hatred for Hank.

What makes me feel better when Max is.

We're in a good spot.

We got a Pope.

Max, but here's the thing.

like, this is after we got a Pope.

Good point.

We do have a Pope.

Here's the thing, Max.

This is not the series, I think.

Like, I know the first two games happened.

The Knicks kind of had to win Saturday.

Yeah, but the

weirdly had to go up 3-0 because it just,

what happened on Saturday,

like, what's more, what can you replicate more?

The Celtics have had a 20-point lead in all three games.

I know, but

Knicks and six.

Right.

So I'm saying is don't put all your eggs in this basket for this series.

I know, but I can't wait till the finals.

I got it.

The Pacers.

No, I can't have the Pacers.

The Pacers are so boring.

Look at it.

No, they're the opposite of boring.

You don't watch ball.

They're the opposite of boring.

But I'm saying, like, media-wise, they're boring.

You're saying

the ESPN executive John Skipper over here.

You're saying

that you're like I have the Nova

ties to the Knicks.

There's at least something there.

You're just saying that you don't watch the Pacers.

And you don't like that they're in Indiana.

Yeah.

You're saying traditionally

they're boring.

Yeah.

Traditionally, they are boring.

Yes.

I will give you that.

Rick Smith.

Like Smith doesn't do anything for you?

Trust me.

As soon as it becomes Pacers

sees, I'm all aboard the Pease train.

We've got to get him a Rick Smith's jersey.

Yeah.

We get him to Ron Artest.

Yeah.

I just needed some juice.

I just needed some juice.

All All right, Monday night.

Yeah.

Monday night.

Okay, should we talk some hockey?

PFT.

Yeah.

Are you in trouble?

I think we might be in trouble.

I might also wake up.

I swear.

Yeah.

And get Hank picks up the phone.

I was checking one thing.

I was looking at the scores.

We were talking on Thursday night, like, before.

Before we recorded, because you guys were out.

So it was just me and PFT and memes on the Zoom.

And I was just like, it's crazy that Hank just doesn't, like, because he doesn't watch watch hockey, he can't just reverse everything that PFT trolls Hank with.

Like,

he's going through

these games, but you know, he's going through, like, he's down 2-1.

The difference between me and PFT is I like PFT, and I root for the teams.

I want the Capitals to do well.

Do you?

Okay, so what do you think we have to do, Hank, to turn the series around?

Well, I don't know hockey.

You need to score more goals.

You need Obi to fucking get some Russian gas in them and fire the boys up.

The hurricanes are are annoying.

They're so annoying.

So annoying.

And I say that as an agape guy.

And listen, yeah, we're both big-time agape guys on this podcast, but they're annoying, but I mean that it's almost like a compliment because they're a good team.

Oh, yeah, annoying team.

Winning annoying is a good thing.

You want your opponents to say that you're annoying.

Yeah.

Ovi has not played that great this series.

He had a couple solid looks in the first period, but there is, like, it's crept into my head.

I'm having some dark thoughts that I'm trying trying to pull myself out of, but I go through this with all of my teams.

It doesn't matter.

I always expect the worst to happen.

Ovie seems like he's hit that wall at the end of the season because he's so fucking old.

We saw it last year in the playoffs against the Rangers, and the same type of energy level, body language is what I'm seeing from Ovie in this season.

He's a Russian guy.

Hank's right.

He knows Puck.

Too worried about the record, not worried enough about saving himself for the playoffs.

No, they had a great season.

They were first in the east hank he had a great season should you have rather had should he have do you want your team to save itself for the playoffs

if you're old and you need rest yeah yeah that's a fair point uh

got you got him there i just he does he doesn't seem to have any of that juice and

I don't know.

I hope that he proves me wrong and he comes out next game.

But when they were playing nobodies in March, he was buzzing around scoring two goals a night.

Don't talk about the Blackhawks and the Islanders, Alan.

I'm just saying.

I think Tom Wilson is really the only guy that has been consistently great for us.

And if you watched on, I think it was Friday night that they

were the day.

They played Tom Wilson had a fantastic game on Thursday, too.

Like, Tom has been the best player on the ice when he's out there, and he's so fun to watch.

And everybody that doesn't have a Tom Wilson, they hate Tom Wilson.

But if you have a Tom Wilson, you fucking love the guy.

He played great on Saturday again, too.

The goaltending was better, but then at the end, it just, he was a gape.

So, what are you, what's the fix?

You got, is this a must-win?

It's, yeah, it's hopefully.

The mistake was, I, I said I was going to announce on

Saturday morning if it was a must-win.

I forgot to announce if it was a must-win game.

Oh, no.

Big, big mistake.

This is a huge mistake.

This is a must-win.

Monday is a must-win.

And we're one-on-one in must-win games this postseason.

So it's 50-50.

It's a must-win.

If you don't win on Monday, Thursday becomes a can't lose.

Thursday becomes

must-not even.

You can't lose.

Yeah,

don't must not entertain the thought of losing.

Yeah.

Because I don't, what I'm worried about now is going to the game on Thursday and then having the season closed out of my face.

Right.

Oh, no.

Yeah.

It'd be tough.

But yeah, Hank, any other advice?

Because you're right on the money when you say that we need some Russian gas.

Send Ovi all the Russian gas because he needs it.

And it's Carolina, like we need Leaf's caps.

We do need Leaf's caps.

We can't have Carolina, fucking Florida.

No.

No, we can't.

They shoot so much.

Because then I just don't.

Then you got nothing.

You lose me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And right now you're locked in.

You lose Henry.

Gary Bettman.

We cannot lose Hank.

You lose Henry Locker.

Hank is the face of the casual hockey fan, and

the ratings will go down the toilet.

We cannot lose Hank.

We also had a buzzer beater on Saturday night.

It was sick.

Insane.

Insane.

Do we want to debate how it could actually be a buzzer beater with time still on the clock?

I was joking.

We don't.

We don't.

It was, there was 0.4 seconds.

There was 0.4 seconds left on the clock.

I don't know what Skinner was doing in that moment.

I don't know hockey.

I'm not an expert, but it feels like the goalie's job there is to put their leg firmly on the post and make sure nothing gets by him in that angle.

And he comes so far out, and I, I mean, I, it was crazy.

It was a wonderful goal.

It was his own goal, too.

What?

Yeah.

His own goal.

Yeah, Dry Seidel.

I mean, he's trying to make a play.

It's kind of got stuck there.

That was nuts.

It was crazy how the camera inside of the goal made it look like it bounced off the post in the real time.

And then they had to go back and get it.

Well, the announcers, the announcers were like, they didn't know.

They had no idea.

And then some of the guys on,

they were celebrating on the ice, and then they looked at the review, and very clearly it was a goal, but still weird that it was able to bounce out like that.

What happened was on that play, it was the shot fake that drew the goalie out.

But still, you have to know time and place.

In the goalie's head, he's like, oh, there's one second left.

Surely he's going to take the slap shot and not take, you know, not try to skid around to the side and get

on the side of the crease.

So in his mind, he's like, this is their final chance.

I have to come out and make the angle as small as possible.

And maybe hockey people will tell me I'm way off, but it just

does seem as simple as like, you have to have your...

You have to have the post there.

But that's understandable what PFT's saying.

It's like he was trying to stop the slap shots.

I understand.

He assumed assumed that's the last shot.

He came so far.

It was a great fake shot.

No, but he could have, he didn't have to

far out before the fake.

He was just out of position.

Like

right there,

that's fine.

But then

you have to get back.

He's so far out of the...

Yeah.

That's a crazy.

That's just crazy.

I don't know how that I mean and and and listen the oilers are up 2-1, but that's the type of game that's like you had or you didn't have but you just can't lose like that.

Yeah, Whitney must have been just oh, he was Twitter Spaces was

sad, but very funny.

It's been a sad couple days for the boys.

Yeah, so Biz,

Biz

Biz is a great looking guy.

He dresses sharp on TNT.

And then I was watching the coverage on Friday, and

he looked like a used car salesman.

Like, he didn't shave.

He looked like he woke up late, didn't have time to shower.

I disavow all these things.

His suit was in his car, and he just threw it on.

No, I don't know why.

Now you're the judge of Aura.

He did it.

Wait, so you're judging everyone's fashion today?

I'm not judging everyone.

Are you a fashionista?

I'm assuming Biz, it's like a bit that he's doing because it's like he usually dresses very sharp.

Like, he didn't even shave or anything.

Like, it was, I think it's an intentional thing that he's doing, like a playoff beard or I don't know.

Because he wore the same outfit again tonight.

I think he looks great.

Well, Biz is just a good-looking guy, he is.

He's one of those guys that's so handsome that when he dresses poorly on purpose, it makes him look even better.

Yeah, the uh, the Leafs had no chance tonight because Yans hit the drum,

he was the, and we got to get Yans on.

He hit the drum for the Panthers, that was it, and he banged the Biz Idiot shirt, yeah, which is a great shirt, yeah.

So, that

was and uh,

it did feel because what uh game when was game three was

Friday night, Marshawn in the in OT.

That was where the Leafs, if they could have won that game, found a way to win that game, then it's like, all right, you should not fully leaf this.

And I'm not saying they've leafed it yet because his home team has won both games and it's been very competitive.

But now it gets a little tighter for the Leafs.

And there's a little bit of chippiness.

Oh, yeah.

Max Domey with the cross-check.

His time expired, and now it looks like they hate each other, which I like.

That That was a bad cross-check.

Here's what I'll say: is this series has juice.

Yeah.

This series is fun to watch.

Big time juice.

Hank, as a casual hockey watcher and enjoyer, the Caps Canes series, is there any juice there at all?

No.

No juice in it.

No.

I need something exciting.

What scares me about this matchup, too, is it feels like the Hurricanes get as many chances shorthanded as the Caps do on the power play.

The Kanes get, they are always looking to break out, which makes you nervous when you're on the power play.

It's a very uncomfortable team to play against.

Yeah.

Last series, I just, my only thing is the Jets aren't going to win this series because Hellbuck on the road stinks.

Yeah.

He gave up five goals.

He's just not good on the road.

Do they bench him?

They did not bench him, but they should bench him.

Yeah.

Because he's not good on the road.

And the stars are really good.

Ranton is continuing to stay on fire.

I think he had a good assist and a goal.

He had two assists and a goal.

Yeah.

He's just, he's in the zone.

We got to get Yantov.

We got to talk to him.

And Dallas, Dallas does look like a confirmed good hockey town, too.

Yeah.

I like the green bracelets that they hand out to everybody.

It feels kind of like you're in a strip club.

And this is one of those situations.

I know this is stupid to judge your sports this way, but I do.

Like, the Stars fans had to deal with Luca being traded.

Right.

And the Cowboys.

Like, I'm not going to, if I'm going to root for any Dallas sports success, it would be the Stars.

What about the Rangers?

Rangers don't really care.

It was kind of cool when they won the series.

Yeah, it was, but I'm just saying, like, I don't.

Yeah.

Do they play against in the series?

They played against.

Was that the Diamondbacks?

Yes.

That was when the Diamondbacks beat the Phillies

and gave up a 3-1 lead in the NLC.

That's crazy that the Diamondbacks were in the winter.

3-1?

3-1.

Dude, who cares?

That happens all the time.

Not at the bank.

Those are just not the same.

Whatever.

Why am I defending that?

Wait, what?

I mean, Hank just tried to compare 3-1 to 3-2.

Like, they're the same thing.

3-1, but that's what.

3-1 is bad.

Really bad at the bank.

Correct.

That was match overalls.

I looked ridiculously.

I did see that.

Kyle Schwarber, sneaky MVP.

Yeah, people should start talking about it.

Media should start talking about it.

National Sports Podcast.

National Sports Podcast should start talking about it.

Kyle Schwarber, MVP, leading the league in home runs.

Just something to think about.

Just something to think about.

You guys want to talk a little football?

Because I got a couple things.

Yeah, I got one thing.

Yeah, Derek Carr retired.

He did retire, yeah.

So

I tweeted out that I'm going to be sad, and I understand people, the majority of the reaction was like, dude, who cares?

If he's on your team, you don't like him.

Like,

he's just good enough to just piss you off.

One, we're a little biased because we actually enjoyed our interview with Derek Carr very much.

Two, Derek Carr is in that camp.

half a version of Philip Rivers.

Do you know what I mean?

Like he's, you know, what you're getting from Derek Carr, and he will provide you with some funny moments.

And that is worth something to me.

A guy that's been around that long

and that is consistent.

Yeah, there's value in that as an NFL fan.

And he'll do like, he'll make a weird face.

He'll have the mascara.

He'll throw a funny interception.

He'll also throw like a perfect drop it into bucket touchdown.

He'll like dive into a guy when he's scrambling for a first down and it's like third and 12 and he's gotten seven yards and he'll just dive into a guy and get injured.

He'll cover a spread against the Chiefs.

But he'll really try to get you that first down that was impossible to get.

So I'm going to miss him and he did have that stretch of his from like, I think it was 2014, 15, 16.

He was good.

He was good.

And it's just,

I also wonder, is he fully retired?

I don't know.

Or is he just trying to not play on the Saints?

I think he's just trying to not have surgery.

Okay.

He's just avoiding surgery at any cost, which is very relatable.

I also think this helps the Saints because I saw he was taking his bonus this year, but it's going to help them overall in the cap.

You would have liked to probably know this.

Well, I was going to say you would have liked to know

before the draft, but you drafted quarterback anyways.

You maybe would have liked to know this before free agency.

Yeah.

That's the one thing you can say.

But

if you're looking for a Derek Carr replacement, Atlanta's got a perfectly good Derek Carr replacement just sitting on the bench.

Maybe the most Derek Carr replacement that there is.

Kirk Hudson's a little better than Derek Carr, but yes, I agree.

But he's like the

upgrade.

Yeah, like finely tuned Derek Carr.

Yeah.

If he's healthy, he's waiting in Atlanta.

I would agree.

Pick up the phone.

Although they probably wouldn't trade him in the division, would they?

Definitely not.

I think they maybe would.

Really?

I feel like the hatred between the Falcons and the Saints is high enough where you're just, you're not going to do a deal.

Are you, though?

For a starting quarterback?

So I agree

on paper what you're saying.

Do you think the Falcons are scared of Kirk Cousins?

If they do trade him, that tells you a lot.

What about that one?

That's what I'm thinking.

That's the take.

I think there could be a chance that that phone gets picked up because they're like, hey, he's not going to hurt us.

I think that

they might be afraid of a cousin scorned.

I would a Kirk Cousins revenge tour.

I think Kirk Cousins still has a couple moments left.

Oh, for sure.

I mean,

if he's healthy.

Yeah.

But yeah, I'm going to be sad.

Derek Carter was like a dependable guy we can joke about.

Yep.

And so when you lose one, don't you agree?

He's like 40% of a Phillip Rivers.

Yeah, I mean, he was never as hilarious as Phillip Rivers.

No, no, no.

40% in play and in hilarity.

Yeah, and he was a guy that he played for some very dysfunctional front offices.

Yep.

And he was pretty cool about it.

He didn't really say anything publicly.

Oh, no.

He had every opportunity to do that.

But you could see it, the way that he wore it on his face and shoulders during games.

Some of those Raiders games, he'd come to the sideline, and you would almost feel bad for Derek Carr.

Yeah.

All right.

What was your story?

I was going to say, big story.

It's scheduled release week.

Yeah.

This week.

Yeah.

And it is truly a week-long event, Big Cat.

Yep.

Because even though we found out when the schedule release was going to be during the schedule release release during the NFL draft, it appears that they're trickling out some of the games for us.

Okay.

So on Monday, we're going to get at least one game on the Today Show that they're going to.

Oh, hell yes.

We know.

We know Chiefs, Chargers.

On Fox,

I saw the leak of Commander's Dolphins in Spain.

Is that real?

I just saw the leak.

I heard that.

Valmos.

Valmos.

Donde in España.

In Barcelona?

Yeah.

In Barcelona.

Jaden Daniel.

Oh, congrats.

Barcelona won today.

Yeah, fuck that.

My friend texted me.

He's like, we're back on Barcelona today, right?

I was like, how are they?

The Champions League isn't even over.

What league is this?

I wish they did that.

I'm going to say I don't like how they're doing this,

PFT.

I don't like that they're slowly trickling out the schedule.

I would prefer if the NFL, instead of telling us when the schedule comes, just one day we wake up and they hit us with the schedule.

A surprise schedule?

Yeah, because then you wouldn't have leaks.

So it is in Madrid?

That's the leak.

Okay.

I should go there with Frank.

So it's a week week now?

I just want the schedule.

So, yeah, we're going to get another game on Fox on Monday.

We're going to get a prime video announcement on Monday.

That's today as the show comes out.

Then Tuesday on Good Morning America, we'll get another one.

And then Wednesday on CBS and Netflix, they'll be announcing some of them.

All right, so we have a new goal on Netflix.

We need to someday.

Sorry, the Netflix game is going to be.

We need to someday have the NFL respect this so much that we get to release a game.

One game?

One game?

Titans Jaguars game game.

I'll take the worst game you got.

Give us a Titans Jaguars game and we'll release it.

All right.

So when is the actual release is Wednesday?

I believe so.

Okay.

So on Friday's show, when we tape on Thursday, we'll do

Mount Rushmore games of the 2025 season.

Yeah, I like that.

Max.

Max is not a schedule release guy.

He hates the schedule release.

Max doesn't like football.

But he he doesn't.

You know who you play.

You fail to understand.

No, but it's how it's going to be.

The schedule releases for fans to look at and get really fucking mad that the league screwed him over because they have to play like three road games in December.

And you get to go win, loss, win, loss, all the way down the list.

Yeah.

But

you know who you play.

No, you don't know.

No, but it's all...

Because, no, because when you do the actual schedule, if you're like, you can't, you know, when you're, it's all art to it where it's like, if you do three wins in a row, you're going to have to throw a loss in there.

And you get to complain because if you're like the Niners, oh, we have to play two East Coast games in a row.

I wonder if we're going to stay at the Greenbrier.

This is a thing for shitty teams to get excited about.

Yep.

Thank you, Hank.

Yeah, Max, Hank and I are back.

Max, you just have to keep winning, right?

Right, Max?

I did not say we have to win.

Keep winning.

You don't know when you're going to want to play?

Like, I want to know when the Bears are playing Thursday and Monday night games.

We're going to have every one of our games are going to be primetime.

I bet you you won't.

Okay.

Every single one will probably have.

Max, you do play opening day, right?

Thursday night?

Probably.

Kick the season off.

Usually the Super Bowl winner does.

I think they might do it.

I think it might be me and you opening night.

PFT, how on a scale of one to I'm going to be

one to this is bullshit and disrespectful.

What if it was Eagles, Cowboys?

They might do that.

Yeah.

Would that be bullshit and disrespectful?

No, I don't want to play opening night.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Opening night would be fun for the show.

It would be great for the show.

Great for the show.

I think there's a good chance it's the Cowboys just because

it's the Dallas Cowboys.

I think Commanders makes more sense just off of Jaden Daniels.

Like, Cowboys are a bummer.

Yeah, but they're the Cowboys.

They are the Cowboys.

But then, you know, no, now that I'm saying it,

it'll be the Commanders because they'll save the Cowboys for Sunday night football.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

They'll just hit that button.

What are you looking up, Max?

We play the Chiefs again.

They could just run that back.

Lions,

they could do play the Bears.

Yeah, I think maybe the Lions.

Oh, yeah, Lions could make sense.

All right, my other NFL news

was I just love this part of the season, the minicamp season, where every draft pick looks awesome.

You have guys,

you know, tackles getting into their set, not blocking anyone.

Everyone's like, look at them move their feet you have uh stretches even like look how look how deep he gets in that lunge I watched a clip of Abdul Carter doing a drill work everyone's like look at this speed it's fucking insane he should be wearing number 56 yeah we have QBs with you know no pass rush throwing the ball Shadur Sanders out there throwing the ball.

Shadur Sanders being the last one off the practice.

Last one off the practice field.

But my favorite thing from this week of mini camps where everyone is in love with every pick and everyone looks awesome.

And this is how sports should work.

Like you should have maximum excitement.

Brian Dable is, this was a quote from Jay Fowler ESPN.

Brian Dable is really excited about this guy talking about

Jackson Dart.

More excited about him than really any other quarterback since Josh Allen that he's worked with.

So just so we're clear, Brian Dable is more excited about Jackson Dart than he was to work with Daniel Jones, Davis Webb, Drew Locke, Tommy DeVito, and Tyrod Taylor.

And

Jameis.

Well, yeah, I guess he has a...

He's working with both of them right now.

And Russell.

Definitely Russell.

More excited to work with.

Yeah, I mean, I don't count the guys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But yeah, the list that he's had in the past.

I guess year one, Daniel Jones, he was probably a little bit excited about it.

Maybe a little excited.

But you got to be excited.

Fresh lump of clay to mold into what you want him to be.

Yeah.

Well, he didn't draft Daniel Jones, right?

Did he?

No.

So he inherited Daniel Jones.

Yeah.

But he's more excited about that.

He's obviously the person he's excited to do with.

And also, he's more excited about Jackson Dart than a list of shitty quarterbacks that he actually no disrespect to.

Tommy DeB.

Tommy Deb.

And then the last NFL thing.

Did you guys see Anthony Richardson's tattoo?

No, but let me look it up real quick.

I didn't.

Apparently, he really loves gambling because he got a giant roulette wheel on his back and he had to be put under for this tattoo.

Got like temporarily euthanized for it.

There's cards, there's a roulette wheel.

It was Anthony Richardson said on McAfee's show, he was put to sleep.

We're getting a back tattoo this offseason.

Seven hours, four artists.

This thing is sick.

I know it is sick.

Yeah.

He, yeah, it's his love of football and gambling.

Football, gambling.

Yeah, I mean, it's we should get this.

I might get this tattoo.

The NFL Shield, wow, the the Lion, Gladiators, his name, just in case anyone forgets.

That's important.

I love that he's got this tattoo.

He's also a huge fan of the Four Aces.

That's dope.

Yeah.

And who are the Four Aces again, hey?

Four Aces are

Dustin Johnson, Patrick Reed,

Harold Varner,

and

Peters, Thomas Peters.

Yep, okay,

first time.

Got it.

No, that is a sick tattoo.

I have a take, and that's if you get sedated for, you shouldn't get sedated for a tattoo as a man.

Yeah.

And I say this as kind of a low-key tattoo addict, big cat, you say it the same way.

I would never

get another one this week.

I would never get sedated for a tattoo.

Is that okay with you, Hank?

Don't worry, I'll wear my sweatshirt so you don't have to see it.

My black sweatshirt.

The fashion police coming at me.

You look like fucks.

You're wearing the same fucking shit as me.

What do you think about Tatum's tattoos, Hank?

Tatum has sick tattoos.

So much aura.

So much aura.

He also has his name on his back.

Does he have cards and a roulette?

Wait, doesn't he have a weird trophy?

What did he get?

Oh, no.

What did he get?

Him holding the Larry O'Brien trophy.

No, it was something else.

What is it?

Is it the all-star MVP?

No.

What is it?

It is the all-star MVP, isn't it?

Is that right?

He's got a lot of tattoos.

Is it the all-star MVP, Hank?

I don't know which tattoo you got.

I'm pretty sure he has the all-star MVP.

I just have a vague memory of

him getting a tattoo of somebody.

Tatum posted on a Snapchat that he got an all-star game MVP tattoo.

Oh man, Hank.

That's Aura.

Oh no.

He's got Kobe's number?

Oh yeah, Piquette, here it is.

Yep.

That's the All-Star MVP.

The most illustrious award in all sports.

Well, it's the Kobe Bryant.

That's the name of the award.

So respect Kobe.

Yeah.

He just got so he could text text it to him.

Oh, it's a snake?

Oh, no, that's the

one said mine is better.

Oh, it is snake.

Okay.

Did you guys see?

Or let's do who's back of the week.

Let's do who's back of week.

I had a couple of them.

Who's back of the week is brought after who's back of the week or after Rachel Nichols, we're going to do Jordan of the Week.

And Max has gifts for us.

Oh, my God.

Hank.

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Hank.

Let us back of the week is Raphael Bevers.

Oh, okay.

He was in the news at the end of last week.

It was kind of a bad translation.

He kind of got a bang job with the translator.

That keeps happening to him, right?

Yeah,

he's getting misquoted, misrepresented, but he basically like

spent a bunch of money on sports.

Had a bunch of injuries, nope.

A bunch of injuries, and he was asked to play first base.

He was interviewed saying, I don't know what the hell the GM's thinking, like saying he's essentially not going to move to first base.

The translation

was more like, you know, he's like, I know I'm a ball player.

I know I'm, you know, supposed to be able to play positions.

It's just not that easy.

But then he's since gone 7 for 12.

Had a go-head home run today.

Didn't this happen in spring training, too?

Kind of.

When we assigned Bregman,

he was like, I'm not switching positions.

And then I played it again?

No, but then we went through the interview and then Hank said, no, he's not.

He's saying I.

He wasn't saying that he refuses to switch positions.

Got it.

But he did it again recently.

The recent one is the one I'm talking about where the question.

Well, so he just doesn't.

You just

told him.

He said he was told in spring training to put away your glove.

You're going to be DHing.

Obviously, injuries happen.

They're like, hey, you might need to play first base.

And he was kind of like,

no.

He's like, I put away my glove.

Yeah.

Got it.

But that's, you know, make up your mind.

Told him to put away his glove.

Yeah.

They're flip-flopping.

Got it.

But now he's raking.

So the haters silenced.

Haters silenced.

All the haters.

Yeah.

Seems like he's just, he's creating the haters by doing dumb quotes.

Well, the train, the trade, the media is misquoting him.

Translation.

The media is

media bank job.

Okay.

PFT.

My who's back of the week is guys who play a lot of golf that think that they can dunk.

Yeah, I had that as well.

So Harry Higgs, they call him Big Rig, right?

Yep.

He said, I am of the belief that

they had a two-hour rain delay.

So he was like, what'd you guys talk?

What'd you do during the rain delay?

And he said he got in a heated discussion with his caddy.

Yeah.

He was telling his caddy that if he gets, I think, two years of training, he can dunk.

He said, I am of the belief that I and anybody, you can train yourself to do anything.

I think somebody brought up a marathon.

I think a marathon would be easier.

And I know, looking at me, that sounds ridiculous.

I've been getting stronger in the gym, more explosive, hit the ball further, started to hit it further.

I said it in passing.

It's not a couple years.

I think I could do it within a decade.

He's 33.

I think he can do it.

He's right.

I think this guy can do it.

I think that.

How old do you think?

31.

I think Harry Higgs,

if he believes that he can dunk soon, 32.

Yeah.

I believe that he can, with training, he can figure out how to dunk.

Yeah.

I believe in this.

I agree.

I agree.

He's right.

You're close to being old.

Yeah, no, I'm there.

And how can you

flip this on you?

I was on the East Coast like furious

about how old the games were on.

Yeah.

So I think he can dunk too.

I think he can too.

Also, I think he's 6'2 ⁇ .

Oh.

Which helps.

Mank, what are you?

Six.

5'10.

You're 6'?

Yeah.

I mean, you got close.

I'm 3'2.

What?

I thought you said you were 32.

I'm 6'2.

Oh, 6' I think you're so sorry.

I turned 30 in two weeks.

That sucks.

Max.

You like silver, Max?

I've felt like I've been 30 for the past three years.

You're also...

No, I'm not going to say it.

You're going to say my body is like.

No, no, no.

That's actually not what I was going to say.

Your look is that of an older man.

Yeah.

That's the same thing.

No, it's not.

Some people like that look.

No, I don't think.

No, that's not.

That's not.

I think with the soul patch, you look like you're 21.

You look older.

If you want to, like, you know,

I don't care about it.

I don't care about it.

If you want to embrace your youth, shave the beard.

Nah.

Soul patch.

I got grays in the beard, which is nice.

But what I love about this Harry Higgs thing is that it was literally the exact same debate with Hank of like running a marathon or dunking.

And he's like, yeah,

dunking's easier.

Dunking's way easier.

I believe him.

I believe Harry Higgs.

Not true.

You could easily run a marathon, Hank.

Yeah.

You could easily run a marathon.

Actually, yes.

Not fast, but I could

do a marathon tomorrow.

People run marathons in six hours.

What did you say?

I can run a marathon tomorrow.

Yeah.

Like, run one.

Run the entire time.

Yeah, like 15-minute pace, but yeah.

That's walking.

I don't think you could run a marathon.

What's the definition of running?

People do run marathons in like six hours

and then they post on Instagram, like, did it?

Like, no, you didn't.

Six-hour marathon is not doing it.

I think it would have to be

12-minute mile or better.

That counts as running a marathon.

Sub-five?

I'm going to tell you what I mean.

I'm not doing, like, I have no interest in running a marathon, but I could.

I respect.

How confident are you in the Celtics win this series?

Extremely.

Oh.

If they don't win, you got to run a marathon.

And if they do, Max Max Soul Patch.

I'm not part of that.

I'm not matching.

Just ask me the question.

Yeah.

Soul patch, Max.

I think the Celtics are going to win.

Soul patch.

All right.

So if we don't, we'll both run a marathon.

Me and Max.

Nope.

Yeah.

That's not fair.

No, no.

Wait.

You guys equally think they're going to win this series.

You guys want me rooting for the Celtics?

Hanks, actually, yeah.

No.

No, there's a remote.

Celtic Max was funny.

I don't even remember why that came up.

I forget why that came up.

But it was very.

Oh,

that was last year.

Whatever.

All right.

My who's back in the week.

I have a couple.

Theranos is back.

Yeah, she is.

Because Elizabeth Holmes is in prison, but she is consulting with her husband on a new startup.

And part of the new startup is apparently a blood droplet that can tell how healthy you are.

Yeah, it's a great idea.

They're literally running.

It's going to change the game.

Yeah.

It's incredible.

I want to see what she cooks up.

Yeah.

It's going to be awesome.

I'll be honest.

I can't get enough of everything that she, like, all these fraud stories.

Yeah, they're the best.

I love the fraud stories.

Yeah, so

the article says the technology can also conduct diagnostic tests using a small sample of blood.

She's just literally running it back again.

She was just, her only crime was being like five years too soon.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So,

yeah, it's Firefest 2.

Yeah.

That's what they're doing.

My other who's back is the Rockies because they fired Bud Black.

So bad.

So they lost 21 to nothing against the Padres on Saturday night.

Before that game, the GM of the Rockies

said, guys are working hard every day.

They come with energy for the most part.

I don't think we were at the point of firing Bud Black.

Guys will still believe in what we were doing and that we're headed and where we're headed.

We're all frustrated.

They lost 21 to nothing to the Padres.

They fired Bud Black.

That idiot Dick Monfort

then had a

basically release a statement just being like, why are the boys coming in here?

We got Jordan of the week.

They jumped the gun.

They love being on camera.

They do.

The Rockies owner, Dick Monfort, said, our play so far this season, especially coming off the last two seasons, has been unacceptable.

Our fans deserve better, and we are capable of better.

Are you, dude?

This just seems to me like he was having a bad time coaching a bad team.

And so they said

some of the players and him aren't getting along great.

So we're going to fire him in hopes that they like the next guy a little bit better.

They did win on Sunday.

Yeah.

They got their seventh win win of the season.

It is May 11th.

They got their seventh win of the season.

So their

seventh win of the season.

I'm pretty sure the Dodgers had seven wins

one week in.

Yeah, I mean, nothing's going to change.

No,

they're bad.

Really bad.

We've got to start betting against them.

Make some good money.

Make some good money.

Take away all their pinstripes.

Yeah, we should do alternate lines, too, because I feel like every night they lose like 10 to 1.

It's crazy.

Maybe this is a new thing.

Historically,

he's not a terrible manager.

No, he's not outside of what he's done with the Rockies.

Correct.

And the Rockies, the owner, Dick Monfort, being like, we're all trying to find out how this happened.

It's you, dude.

Yeah.

You're the piece of shit.

Also, Nico Harrison's a piece of shit.

I said that I would say that once a week.

It's a good reminder.

Also, the Sphere is back.

I went this weekend.

It was awesome.

You guys got to.

It does seem pretty incredible.

It was.

It was awesome.

I've had so many random people that I'm like friends with just ask me out of nowhere, have you been to the sphere yet?

Like it's a place that I have to go.

It was awesome.

And shout out all the AWLs I saw.

Sorry if

all I could do was take a picture and not have a conversation.

My head was full of mushrooms.

I had a couple weird encounters, but I think also it was like, I think they also had their head full of mushrooms.

But it was a lot of people that I talked to, maybe not talked to, more like,

like that.

Kind of made a sound.

Yeah, yeah, and did a fist bump.

This is crazy.

There's a picture.

Yeah, isn't this awesome?

But yes, it is very awesome.

That's the look in your eye you get when Aaron Rodgers wins MVP.

Yeah, the mushrooms.

Yeah.

It was sick, though.

Mayer, awesome.

Whole thing is awesome.

You guys got to go to the sphere.

I got to go.

I'm down.

Got to go.

Who else is playing at the sphere?

Kenny Chesney.

Backstreak Boys.

We need Bill.

Billy Strings.

Think he could sell out the sphere?

Yeah.

By the way, Vegas.

How many

20,000?

Vegas,

a 48-hour Vegas trip.

I've done this now two years in a row going to the Sphere.

It's the best.

That's how you do it.

Just fly in Friday, fly out Sunday morning.

It's great.

I'm back in on Vegas.

I was out on Vegas for a little bit.

I'm back in on Vegas.

Especially when you have an itinerary.

Right.

I want to announce, yeah, with a show.

I went to a nice dinner.

I called.

I got a cabana.

I got a good meal.

I maximized my 48 hours.

Yeah, it was a great 48 hours in Vegas.

The Eagles are playing there.

Yeah, the Eagles.

I feel like if I'm going to go to the Sphere, though, I'm going to want to go for Dead.

Yeah, next year, hopefully they do one more year.

I think they will.

Are they done for this year?

They have one more weekend, and then they might add shows, but I don't know.

If they add shows, maybe we'll go.

I would go to the sphere to see the Eagles with Chris Berman.

I would also.

That would be a great time.

Yeah.

Okay, let's get to our interview with Rachel Nichols.

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And now here's Rachel Nichols.

Okay, we now welcome on a very good friend of the show, very special guest.

It's been too long.

It is Rachel Nichols, longtime friend.

You can see her on Fox Sports.

You can hear her on headliners with Rachel Nichols, All Smoke Productions.

Rachel, it's great talking to you.

We have the NBA playoffs, and I have one pressing question to start.

You probably don't have an answer, but I still want to hear what you have to say.

Are we going to see Steph Curry again in these playoffs?

So

in the last game, you know, Ant talks a lot of trash, right?

And he's trying to go at it with Gary Payton Jr.

and all this stuff.

And he's like, you're just trying to get to a game six so Steph can come save you.

And GP's like, yep, that's it.

Yes.

So they need to be evaluated on a Monday.

It does not sound like he would play the next game.

Maybe they've got a three-day rest break after that.

But yeah, I don't know if they're going to get that far.

What do you think?

Yeah, I don't know.

It seems like they're pulling all the levers that they can, where they're getting like everybody involved, trying out every single possible combination of guys to run out there just to see if something works if they can maybe steal a game i that i thought that they were going to do this strategy of trying to steal one of these next couple and then get to the three-day break and it just sucks because like watching the warriors without steph turns out he's really damn good and uh they kind of need him because i think they i think they were i think i saw a stat that they were like the first team in the nba playoffs who were leading at half without making a three or something last night.

Yeah, which is amazing for the Warriors, right?

Right, right.

So it's just totally different.

And I want to see the best players play.

All right.

So that was a bummer that you gave me that answer.

I was hoping you were like, yeah, you know what?

He's playing on Monday night.

This is going to be awesome.

I find that very hard to believe.

The other thing about that series, and I saw you tweeting about it as well, Julius Randall has been, he might be like the best change of scenery guy ever because what he's done with the Wolves.

I mean,

you've talked to people in the league, like, is he as beloved as it seems in that locker room and how seamlessly seamlessly he's fit in?

Because it was rough to start, but now he's so, so good for them.

I'm so happy for him.

He's a great guy, first of all.

I've always liked talking to him.

You know, the trade happened.

It was definitely disconcerting for him, his family, all of that stuff.

It didn't start out while in Minnesota.

And then he got hurt.

And in that time off, I think it gave him a minute to sort of settle and kind of know how the team works.

And the whole time, the guys in the room were just pumping him up.

Anthony Edwards.

oh, we need him, wait till Julius Randall gets back, all that stuff.

And now, I was with the Timberwolves last week.

He's like the mayor in there a lot of the time.

And it's just so fun to see a good person doing well, beloved by the people who should love him.

And I couldn't be happier for him.

I think he's great.

Yeah, yeah.

And it looks like Minnesota probably has the upper hand, especially if Steph isn't coming back.

Yeah, if we're.

It turns out Steph Curry is important if you want to play basketball.

Very important.

Very, very important.

So

the other series in the West, what is it about the Nuggets and the Thunder that each team is capable of making the other team the worst version of themselves?

Yeah, yeah, that was a nice game today, right?

Really?

It was gross.

Scored two points in the first quarter.

It was funny watching that game because there will be people who complain about the scoring getting out of control in the NBA.

And then you watch a game like that, like, you know, people are like, oh, I missed 90s basketball.

And then you watch that where no one came to three.

You're like, yeah, I'd prefer seeing the games in the 120s.

It's not so fun.

By the way, we're kind of getting a little 90s basketball back, though, because they're calling nothing.

Yeah.

Right?

Which I like.

Yeah, I like, but it was mostly like about the air balls in the first half.

I haven't seen that many air balls in an NBA game in a long, long time.

For some reason, each team sees the other team.

They're like, yeah, the shots just aren't going to fall.

See, I thought you were going to make an off-color joke with the airballs, but look at you.

I'm growing up.

I'm so grateful.

No, I mean, it's ridiculous.

And the guys are buying each other around and just, you you know kind of really doing that a lot of these guys have free reign and you don't see it the moment the shot comes off, but you see it right before that and then it sort of sets the guy up to not have his correct shot.

I mean, there's definitely an expression in basketball, hey, they can't call them all.

Right.

So if you just keep going and fouling and fouling and fouling, eventually the raps are going to be, yeah, that one wasn't so bad.

And I think we're seeing a lot more of that in these playoffs than we're seeing that in that series.

Yeah,

and it's clearly bothered Jokic.

I mean, he hasn't played to his standard, which is not,

it's unfair how good he is.

And then when he has like 20 and 13, everyone's like, damn, he sucks now.

But the last two games, he has

16.

What the fuck?

Yeah, he got, he got a, you know, his teammates kind of picked him up on Friday night in the overtime win.

And then tonight, he was not good, and he missed two big free throws.

And it's like, I don't know, he's got to be great for them to be great.

Do you have an MVP vote?

I do.

And who'd you vote for?

i actually voted for shea and it was a very very

very hard vote i mean it really came down to like this and the this it came down to because jokic is i think i think jokic is the best player in the world so the this it came down to was the thunder had 18 more wins than the nuggets right at some point i don't always vote for the guy who's the highest in the standings but at some point that matters right and to lead a young team to those kind of numbers, I was really impressed.

I still think there should be a separate award for who the best player is in the NBA because we don't have one.

And it's funny, I filled out my awards ballot this year and I had to choose, guys, I had to choose who the ninth best rookie in the NBA was this year.

My vote in the record books for all time on who in 2025 was the ninth best rookie.

That's going down in the books, but not who the best player was.

And there's, you know, years it's MJ.

There's years it was LeBron, and they didn't win the MVP every time.

And it's just sort of strange to me because there's already kids out there who've never seen Jordan play and just downplay everything he did.

And he wasn't that good.

Kind of like our generation does with Kareem a lot of the time.

Yeah.

And,

you know, all we have in the end is the record books.

And the record books are going to show that Kobe Bryant won one MVP.

Right.

And he obviously had a huge impact on the league.

I just, I don't know why we don't have an award for this.

The NFL differentiates between MVP and offensive and defensive player.

The NHL has MVP and then, you know, the scoring and the goal scoring and whatever.

We don't have that.

It's true, especially now that we have like clutch player of the year, which I, you know,

okay, you know, they do the clutch minutes analytics and everything, but like, why can't we have a just like top dog or alpha of the year?

Like just whoever was, who's the best player?

And then the MVP can be something different where it's like, yeah, this guy brought his team to the most wins, most impactful on his team.

Because I agree, there's definitely a difference to those two things.

We have one on part of my take.

We just actually created it right now, right this very second.

So who gets your vote?

What do you mean, oh, for that award?

Top dog dog.

Top dog.

Top dog.

Yeah, and by the way, let's just call it that.

It's perfect.

Top dog award.

Nicole Jokic.

I mean,

if you had to play a basketball game for the lives of yourself and everyone you know, and you had one gig of

who the player was going to be on your team and everyone else was random assignment, who would you pick?

I like that.

I like that criteria.

Your family's been kidnapped and you can only pick one guy to be the captain of your team.

That's the top 10 years.

Well, I mean, you're pretty close if you get Jokic's brothers.

Yeah, that's true.

That's true.

He's so tall.

I've sat with him before and watched the game.

He's

just amazing.

Actually, we did a bad job when talking about Golden State.

We should try to just correct the narrative if we do need to correct it.

Has Draymond Green gotten a bum rap all these years?

Is he actually a really nice guy that plays under control?

And us in the media, we've done a bad job and we've called him out for things that did not need to be called called out for.

He is a really nice guy, actually.

He's just not a very nice player.

Right.

And he's got to be careful, by the way.

He's two technicals

and two,

what's the other one?

Not text,

flagrants.

Flagrants.

He's been doing that.

I don't know why.

My brain is not here today.

Blaming on the mimosas on Mother's Day.

Yeah.

Happy Mother's Day.

And two flagrants from a suspension.

That's what everyone forgets about the 2016 finals when he was suspended for a game and the Cavs turned it around.

He wasn't suspended because of what he did on the floor when we all know what happened with the punching and the this and the that.

He was suspended because it just hit a certain limit.

Right.

By the way, once you reach that point, not only are you suspended for the next game, then it goes in every other.

So if they do somehow make it out of this round,

I mean, he could miss every other game if he keeps this up.

So it just, you gotta be careful.

Which I think he'd be happy to do if Steph wasn't playing.

I think it's cool with that.

that.

Yeah.

Could you imagine if it reset, they would have to make a rule to change it for the Draymond because he would just try to fly through it like as fast as possible.

I can't remember.

Rashid Wallace, 44 texts.

That's right.

That's right.

I forgot Rashid had that many texts.

Listen, I get it from Draymond, too.

Like, you have to, sometimes you just got to say shit.

You know, you just kind of have to defend yourself a little bit.

And so I think he tried to do that.

But anybody out there can watch him play and be like not no one else no one else's body flails in the same way that draymond green's body flails and it's got to be a him problem at some point yeah

yeah he's super theatrical he just doesn't have control of his body even though he's a world-class athlete

what what is it though the the thing that we were talking about the other day with draymond the refs feel like it feels like he gets away with a lot not of like when he flails his body but when he talks to the refs it does feel like he gets away with way more than everyone else because they just, I don't know what they, they just don't want to deal with him.

What is that?

He totally does, and it goes back to what I said a few minutes ago: you can't call him all, right?

You can't kick him out of every game.

He's a popular player, he's integral to that team.

He's obviously a former defensive player of the year, I think, eight-time all-defense.

Can't call them all.

So, you know,

he goes at it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

I got a non-playoff question for you.

All right.

Giannis is going to be playing for what team next year?

Oh, man um

where do i want him to be playing i'd like him to still play in milwaukee because i'm sensible

my second choice of where he would be playing you know the three teams that have the most assets to get him are the houston rockets uh the san antonio spurs and the oklahoma city thunder which is crazy so can you imagine him next to sga or next to Wemby.

I think if he becomes available, those GMs that have been keeping their picks, they're going to pull the trigger.

And I think that Thunder actually have the most of all.

So we'll see who's willing to give up what.

But I'm a sentimentalist.

I love how the people in Milwaukee love him.

I love how he loves the city.

He can't win there, unfortunately, because they're so tied up with their not having their draft picks and salary and whatever.

If he decides to stay, it would really be just a commitment to, hey, I know we're not going to win another title, but I'd like to be here.

Yeah.

And what happens with the Bucs if he does decide to do that?

Is their future just straight up, they're going to be really, really, really, really bad for five, six years?

Well, they won't be really, really bad.

You know, they'll be like a first-round playoff team or a play-in playoff team, which is kind of, you know, with a fully loaded team is what they've been the last couple seasons because, you know, this year, Dame was hurt and out for a while.

Giannis was out last season, didn't finish the playoffs, and I think the season before he was out for a while.

So

they've gotten screwed by injuries.

And my thing about, you know, trading for future picks is that you give away a guy who is still in his prime, who is key to the franchise.

Because there's people out there, by the way, saying that the Bucs should trade Giannis even if he doesn't ask for a trade.

That's a very popular NBA person opinion right now.

And the idea is like, oh, he's got two years left on his deal.

You could get a whole bunch of draft picks for him.

You got to do it now.

Pull the trigger now.

I get it, but you also have Giannis and Sukubo on your team, and he fills the building, bucks and seats.

People watching him.

He's got a great connection to the community.

And if you trade him for a bunch of draft picks, you're hoping that, what, three years from now, you draft a guy who maybe one day becomes not quite as good as Yannis and Tsukuko?

Yeah.

If he wants to go, God bless.

I totally understand.

He has said he thinks he needs another title to sort of represent the player that he is.

And if he asks out, He's been loyal to that team.

He's played there for a dozen years.

He got them a championship.

Godspeed.

But if he doesn't want to leave,

I don't agree with this sort of NBA think of pushing him out the door anyway.

Well, and you're right.

Like, it's there, they won't be really bad if they keep Giannis.

They'll win 42 to 45 games, and you know, it will, they won't really contend for a title because he won't have pieces around him.

But you can't be bad with Giannis on your team because he's that good.

It's a tough situation because you don't.

Yeah, I wonder what most Bucs fans, I think most Bucs fans would prefer to keep Giannis, but there's obviously the part where you said, like, if you if you trade him, you're going to probably be bad for a while.

If you keep him, you're going to at least have, you know, a playoff team, and Giannis is a lot of fun to watch.

Yeah.

So, you know, we'll see what he decides.

Obviously,

he's the first domino that has to fall.

All right.

Another one, non-NBA playoffs, because I saw you comment on this.

LeBron should take less money.

I agree with you.

Is there any chance LeBron takes less money?

Because LeBron is still a very good player.

I was making this argument when they got bounced in the playoffs.

I don't think you can pay a 41-year-old LeBron $50 million and expect to have the roster that you need to compete.

You saw the roster of the Lakers.

They didn't have a center.

You got to build the team around Luca.

And if you're going to build a team around Luca, you need some flexibility.

So is there any chance that he takes less money?

And what is less money if he were to do that?

Yeah, I mean, it's a little complicated with the salary cap.

And if he took the lead minimum, it would still only free up i don't know the number maybe ten million dollars for them extra but ten million dollars is not a little bit of money when you're trying to fill nba salary slots and i just think that he's the most underpaid athlete total in the world right now nobody has done as much for a league much less the teams he's played for than lebron james he's responsible for the level of popularity that the game is at right now he will never be paid enough so if you realize he's just going to be underpaid either way if you know that he is a billionaire and I don't count other people's money and he should do what he wants to do, I can only put myself in that position.

If it were me, I would say I will take significantly less, as less as it helps basically, to make sure that we get other people in here who can help us win.

Because here's the thing, you can't buy a championship ring after you retire.

All that money, it's going to go to your grandchildren's, grandchildren's grandchildren once you're a billionaire.

So he's not going to feel any difference in his life.

But here's what he will feel if he wins another ring with Luke on the team, himself on the team, and maybe some other bigger star player on the team.

Well, if he wins five years, you know who, five rings, you know who won five rings?

Kobe Bryant.

And if he wins six rings hanging around on the Luca Tring, we know how many guys, we know who the guy is who won six, right?

So you are counting.

You're counting the bubble championship because we don't count that.

I know, but have some technology rings.

He lives in the bubble, I can tell you it fucking counts.

Oh, no.

She's easy.

She said rings, not championships.

Yeah, that's true.

It's a Mickey Mouse ring.

The ring exists.

Yeah, the ring does.

You could find the ring somewhere.

Yeah, like a ring pop is a ring, technically.

Whatever you guys want to call it, if he gets more, I think that will change the way some of the people who

are predisposed not to like him.

I think it will kind of weaken some of their arguments.

Absolutely.

Just make them switch the goalposts and be like, he's not MJ yet.

We could be fluid, yeah.

But no, you're absolutely right.

I've taught this for a while.

Like, at the end of the career, like, why wouldn't you, again, it's hard to talk about someone else's money, but you would think that the legacy part and having that, like, especially if he won a ring as a 41-year-old at the end of his career and you're like, holy shit, this guy just won a ring after being in the NBA for 20-plus years?

It's a hard argument to go against.

I mean, it's literally what Tom Rady did.

He gave back a bunch of money so he could win another ring as an old guy.

Yeah.

it worked.

Yeah, that's true.

So, who would the Lakers try to get if hypothetically LeBron said, you know what, I'll take, you can take 10 mil off my salary.

Who do they go out there and get?

They don't have the assets to go out and get Ianis.

They just don't have the draft picks.

They don't have the young players that people would want.

So that little fantasy, unless, you know,

I could never have predicted the Luca trade, so I'm not going to say never, say, never, but I don't see it happening.

So look, they need someone who's a strong interior defender, who also is a lob threat so that we can set up kind of the Luca, Derek Lively, like LU situation.

And frankly, on the wings, they need three and D players.

And so right now they're saying, oh, Austin's off the Austin Reeves, he's off the table.

We love him.

He's like family.

Everyone in the locker room loves him.

It's true.

LeBron loves him X, Y, Z.

LeBron loved Anthony Davis and out.

They're going to have to trade Austin Reeves if they want the level of guys around Luca that they need.

Because right now, if you're an opponent and you're coming down the court and you see Austin Reeves on one side and Luca on the other, it's like turns files.

So, like, you get to choose which one you go through because they don't defend at the level that you need defenders to be elite in the league right now.

Yep.

I mean, that makes sense.

Let's talk about the East real quick, the Celtics.

Are the Celtics completely back?

It feels like the Celtics are up 3-1 right now, based on how the last game went.

I haven't felt like the Celtics were like, like the Celtics, even when they were down to 0, it weirdly felt like they were fun yeah and I you know New York didn't beat them all season the Celtics were historically fluky and sort of missing so many three-point shots and by the way we give the Knicks defense credit because Mikhail Bridges Josh Hart there's just so many guys who really stepped up in those two games but the Celtics are the Celtics I mean they they just have all the pieces back that won that title last year

I think it'd be so fun as someone who's lived in New York for 20 years, I think it would be so fun to see the garden rocking through a conference finals, maybe even an NBA finals.

The Outs are not with them right now, even though they're up to one.

But, you know, who knows?

Christoph Sporzigis ends up being out for a while.

Something else flooky happens.

We'll see.

Yeah.

And while we're taping this, the Pacers are playing pretty much perfect basketball.

They're up 80 to 39 on the Cavs at half.

I respect the Pacers.

They're so much fun to watch.

Like, could the Pacers go to the finals?

Is it crazy to start believing if you're indiana i know the celtics are on paper better and they played last year and i think that was a sweep even though there was some very close games in there the pacers are fun i they play a fun style of basketball and they have they it just feels like they have a really solid rotation of guys who can all contribute night in night out Yeah, I mean, remember, the Pacers had a lot of injuries in that series, so it's not even really fair to think back on that.

I love this Pacers team.

You know, it's funny, when Tyrese Halliburton was named the most overrated player as voted by the players in the NBA.

Did you guys talk about that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

So here's what's funny about that poll.

The athletic, which did the poll, to its credit, listed how many guys answered each question.

There's about 450 guys in the NBA.

Only 90 of them answered the question of who is the most overrated.

So less than a quarter of the guys in the league even answered the question.

And then if you go at the percentage that voted for Halliburton and you do the math, first of all, it's weirdly like 12 and a half guys.

I don't know how a half a person player votes but let's say it's 13 13 guys there's 13 guys in this league who think tyrese haliburton's overrated that's it that's all so and it could literally it could literally just be the box because they like they hate each other

it could be the guy who didn't make the olympic team because tyrese took that spot i mean

he could be hated by a guy this is the pettiest league on earth yeah the pettiest there is no more petty than this league the nba so i don't know i i think he keeps bringing it up.

Overrated, overrate that, right?

But he's an excellent player.

And even though the Cavs, you know, were so strong throughout this season, when the Cavs went down 2-0, I was like, uh, they're in trouble.

Whereas with the Celtics going down 2-0, I was like, eh, we'll see.

Yeah, the shots just have to start falling for them.

That's really at the end of the day.

I like that theory, though.

It's like the Bucs and then,

let's say, Jalen Brown.

They were the ones that said that Howler Burton is overrated.

And it doesn't make sense for for players in the NBA to like poke the bear, to like call a guy out who's still playing and obviously like a dangerous player because all you're going to do is make him better.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

And look, Ray Carlisle is a great coach.

They're so fast, great in transition.

They're really fun to watch.

So if they're the ones who advance, it's going to be a fun Eastern Conference finals either way.

Yeah.

So we also have the draft lottery tonight, Monday.

Yeah.

A big night for our beloved Wizards.

You know me, Rachel.

I'm a massive Wizards fan.

I eat, sleep, breathe, the whiz.

This is the one, yeah, the cat you're wearing in your cap shirt right now.

That's another story.

But

I feel like the Wizards, if they get flagged, I'm all the way back in as a fan.

But it's probably not the most exciting place that he could potentially land for like the average NBA viewer.

Where do you think, like, if you're just a casual NBA fan, where do you think the funnest place for Cooper Flag to end up is?

I mean, the most likely places are D.C., Charlotte, and Utah.

Like,

I actually think D.C.

is kind of, I mean, for him, if I was Cooper Flag, of those choices, I hope the Wizards get a number one pick.

That's true, because D.C.

is a great place to live.

It's an international city.

I cannot say the same for Charlotte.

I cannot say the same for Utah.

And of course, if he went to Charlotte, he'd still have all those fans from Duke right there, but he's going to have plenty of fans.

He'll be fine wherever he goes.

It would be huge.

You know how long it's been since the Wizards made a conference finals.

Not won a title, not made it to the finals, just made it to the conference finals.

I think it's got to be at least the 80s, right?

Just pick a number.

90s.

1981.

So that would be

44 years.

You're close.

46 years.

46 years.

In the 46 years.

It's been bad.

It's been a long time.

But at least they have a plan that they're working on.

They just kind of floated along without really a plan for a long time.

And the tank has worked beautifully.

Jordan Poole and Kyle Kuzma were excellent players to pick up if you're trying to lose games.

And so they have a plan.

The plan worked.

And now we got to just trust that stupid fucking lottery ball machine.

Yeah, man.

Well, even if they end up number two, I think they're in good shape.

I mean, we'll see.

They've drafted really, you know, they drafted very smart and not the best draft last year.

And they've got this draft is a great draft and next year is a great draft.

And I wouldn't be surprised if they were in the lottery again next year.

And then they'll have a really good young team.

What's the team?

It's probably Philly, but is there another team that you're like, they can't win the lottery?

This would be bullshit.

I mean, the Thunder.

I don't know.

I mean, Spurs,

Spurs, maybe.

Spurs getting a lot of money.

One of these teams that has all the resources already.

Yeah.

But

if Philly wins, it's going to be, people are going to be so pissed because they did the whole process.

And then they had one year where everyone got hurt.

And they basically were like, yeah, we're just not going to try this year.

Did a great job tanking.

It's actually an art.

There's some teams that cannot tank.

The Bulls do not know how to tank.

And if Philly wins, this is like, oh, man people would be so mad they'd think it's so rigged yeah by the way my thing it could happen was for san antonio obviously yeah the thunder are not in the lottery yeah

yeah yeah they i think they had some picks where if other teams had had lost a couple games at the very end of the season yes it was a possibility for the thunder to get the number one they're getting yannis they'll be fine

yeah they're getting yannis it's gonna be such bullshit with when sga starts doing the little like dribble under the basket thing like steve nash used to do and then just throw the ball right up in the air and yannis just dunks on everybody.

Yeah.

That's what's destined to happen.

What about Wimby and Giannis?

That would be fun.

It would be fun.

You'd score on them.

It would be fun.

Yeah.

Wimby, Giannis, Cooper Flag, just load them up.

Do you know, is there anybody else in the draft?

I know you're not, I don't know, you might be a draft person or not, but players.

I'm not a huge college basketball person.

So I just know that.

I wait until the draft lottery happens.

I wait until the draft happens.

Then we see who's on which team and we go from there.

I know the top three or four guys who'd be in five deep are considered really good.

I don't want to pretend that I know more than the guys who study this year round, but it's a deep draft.

And I think there's going to be a lot of picks, even throughout the first round, that we're going to see.

Giannis himself, I think, was a 15, 16 cooper pick.

All I know is that Rutgers basketball was really, really good last year.

That's why they've got so many players in the top five.

I was going to look back and be like, how do they have two guys in the top five?

That kick that was really good.

That kid could end up on the Wizards easily.

Both of them.

Dylan Harper and Ace Bailey.

Yeah, they're both very good.

All right, so, Rachel, I know that we're like halfway through the second round, but we're going to just give you the chance right now to tell us your NBA Finals and NBA Final winner.

And so,

you get to cheat a little bit because we, I mean, not that you would have picked any of the teams that are.

Actually, you might have picked the Clippers.

You're a Ballmer.

You like Ballmer.

We love Ballmer.

How cool is that stadium, by the way?

It's the best stadium in the NBA by far.

And he brought all these people, all these fans from the wall over to Denver for game seven.

You can't tell me that's not the coolest, man.

Yeah.

Like, I don't know of another owner in Pro Sports who would do something like that.

And by the way, how much do you think he had to pay for those game seven seats?

Yeah,

probably

a lot.

$500 a pop, probably.

Yeah.

I mean,

he's a cool guy.

Like, that's how I would own a team if I owned a team.

Yeah, he does Rich Wright.

Like, he does Rich Wright.

It's kind of like, you know, when Mark Cuban came on the scene, everyone's like, oh, shit.

It turns out Mark Cuban just had to change how they, like, the chairs in the locker room and everyone was like oh my god this is incredible no one's ever done this

but all right he gave everyone a playstation yeah yeah yeah that was the thing is that he he redid the locker room he gave them like comfy leather office chairs and every locker was a playstation and that was it everyone wanted to play that everyone was like holy shit the mavs treat them right all right so so what is your nba finals prediction and your winner Well, this is crazy.

Before the season, I picked the Boston Celtics.

Okay.

With the Boston Celtics down two to one in this series, I still pick the Boston Celtics.

And there's no disrespect to the Knicks.

And again, I really do love this Knicks team.

They're so much fun to root for and so much fun to watch.

But

they're the best complete team.

And they just won last year.

All those guys have a ton of experience.

They have international experience.

So they can play in any way.

I think Joe Missoula is a completely capable coach, and all the sort of noise around him is just sort of Celtics fans who get very worried and like to say things.

But

I just still pick the Celtics.

And of course, if the Knicks win this, great.

I'm happy to be wrong.

What about,

so you're sticking with the Celtics.

Is Chris Stopps okay?

This is so weird.

And I talked to him about it, it was probably a month, six weeks ago, whenever, but they don't know, at least when I spoke to him, they did not know what this was.

It was a virus, but there wasn't any sort of...

thing that they could identify and then treat.

So they obviously are doing things to treat him, but there is nothing they have found so far that make it like go away and he'll never have to deal with it again.

And it's bizarre.

And this poor guy who's had all these injuries finally got to a place where he was pretty healthy and playing on a team where his skills were really needed.

And now he's got this name.

He looked awful in game one and for a lot of game two, right?

I mean, he looked, it was paler than the wall behind me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's just very bizarre.

Is he truly like day to day?

He'll wake up one morning feeling like shit, one morning feeling great?

I'm not sure it's day to day because I assume that it sort of starts to come on or it doesn't, right?

So I don't know if it's like every other day.

He doesn't know how he's going to wake up.

I think like he'll start to feel a little bad and then feel a little worse and then feel a little worse.

But yeah, I mean, look,

my title winner prediction.

will be completely on the ropes if he can't significantly play in these playoffs because he is part of what gives them such a huge advantage.

Yeah.

All right.

So who do you like out of the West?

No one, no, I mean, everyone.

I yeah, it's actually

an answer, like no one in everyone.

Look, the Thunder should be the pick out of the West, right?

Because they were head and shoulders above everyone the entire season.

They showed in the last game they played that having young legs really matters, right?

They completely outplayed Denver in the fourth quarter.

And the fact that they can play so well on only a day's rest, there's a great stat.

I have it here.

So, the Thunder, you know, they're the youngest team in the NBA still.

When they are just on one day's rest, they are a 17-point differential.

They score 17 more points than the other team on one day's rest.

I mean, it helps to have young legs, man.

And I just sort of think that they've rocked it, they've shown it.

And I don't know if there's someone else who can beat them, but

we'll see.

I'm not as confident on that side of the bracket.

And I think a lot of who comes out of the West is just basically who ended up seeded with who.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Today they said that they call Alex Caruso Unk.

He's Unk in the locker room and he's 31 years old.

Yeah, that's the youngest Unk ever.

That's very tough.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Bad news.

That doesn't make me feel good.

No, not at all.

Alex Caruso.

All right.

I got one last question for you, Rachel.

It's a Roback question.

R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.

Promo code take roback.com.

Promo code take

RHOBACK.com.

We had a debate last week on this show,

and one of our producers said that Joel Mbiad's actually the same playoff performer as Jason Tatum.

Do you care to weigh in on this?

I don't understand how that would be true since Jason Tatum has the advantage of having been in a lot of playoff movies and up for that.

That's a good point.

By the way, I don't think it's Joel Embiid's fault that he's gotten hurt.

He's had some really weird injuries.

Remember, he broke his eye at one point?

Yeah.

So, so it's not that he's soft.

I mean, the man's huge, obviously.

He's a tree trunk.

But the truth is, the best ability is availability, as they like to say.

And he has not been available for a lot of the time that Philadelphias need him.

And Jason Taylor has been an Iron Man.

I mean, he has been there for that team over and over and over again.

He's one of their most regular players.

I don't know how you can make the comparison.

Yeah.

That's a valid point, but you're bringing up numbers now.

And our producer said that he wasn't trying to bring up numbers.

He was just trying to talk about the fact that they average about the same.

Yeah, it was a bad argument.

The points per game is similar.

I think Embiid has about two, let's call it three rebounds a game more.

Tatum has three assists per game more.

And yeah, then the rest of it is just,

you know, like Joel's missed eight games, Tatum's missed one.

And Joel's never been to a conference final.

A conference final.

He's basically making the argument that the Celtics are a super team, and

Joel Embiid does just as well, even though, again, I don't.

didn't Tatum score 50 on Joel and Biad's team?

That's true.

Yeah, that was in a game seven.

Here's how you know, okay?

If you put Joelle and Biede, if you switch them, if you put Joelle and Bied on the Celtics,

he wouldn't do as well because he would be on the bench in street clothes for sections of the time, and the Celtics would greatly suffer because of it.

That's true.

So you can say they're better.

I don't care what the numbers are.

You can't score 16 points or this many points or whatever when you have a sweatshirt on.

So that's the answer.

Very good.

That's a good point.

Very simple.

Okay.

I've got a couple questions for you guys, by the way.

Sure.

Yeah.

Go for it.

Right.

I do need PFT's caps tape.

Where are we, what's the panic meter?

How much agape do you have?

Yeah, I'm very,

I was super agape on Saturday, and then I woke up this morning, not a gape at all.

And I'm still not a gape.

I don't know what it is, but

Ovi's looked old.

He's looked really old the last couple of games.

And we saw it last year in the playoffs against against the Rangers.

That's what he looks like.

It was a one-on-one matchup.

That's true.

Yes, but I'm talking about just like the juice that he brings, the energy that he brings.

I haven't really seen it this series.

He had it last series, so I'm concerned about that.

And outside of the top line,

we don't have a lot of guys that are flying around making plays.

Carlson looks old.

Carlson looked very old on Saturday.

But the nice thing about Carlson is he's always looked old.

Even when he was young, he looked old.

He was just kind of like an average speed defender.

He's always in the right place at the right time.

He was not in the right place at none of the right times on Saturday.

So I'm worried and I'm worried that

I'm going to the game on Thursday and I'm scared that that's going to be a closeout game, that I'm going to see the Cap season end right in my face.

So

I've already put a must-win on Monday.

Monday night's a must-win for the Caps.

Definitely a must-win.

Not a can't lose.

Definitely a must-win.

He had a great first period.

And the goalie just stood in his head.

And we'll have to see.

Yeah.

All right.

my second question for you guys.

Can I get another recurrent guest t-shirt?

Because mine burned in a fire.

Oh, yeah.

That's a valid

sleeves.

Hold on.

Did you come up right now?

We actually don't have fire insurance on those shirts.

So sorry about that.

Why do you think I'm drinking out of a solo path?

I have no glasses.

When you made your claim to the insurance company, we're like, this was a one-of-two shirt that burned.

And it's worth price.

You had to list you to list like the contents of your house, which is hysterical because you go to where my house was, it is literally just a field of ashes.

There's no arguing over what was there, but you still have to make a list.

And of course, an itemized item.

It wasn't just, you know, 10 t-shirts.

It was the part of my take t-shirt and then all the valuable jewelry and then the rest of the house.

I'm happy I didn't bring up the shirt before you said that because that would have been awkward if I'd been like, hey, you still got the shirt?

Like, nope, burned.

Yeah, we will get you a new shirt.

That gotta get you a new shirt.

That always is a treasured possession of mine.

That had to be just terrifying.

Like, checking to see if your home's still there, finding out it's not.

Where are you in the process?

Yeah, so when, you know, it's crazy how quick it was.

We lived in Pacific Palisades, Malibu area.

That was the day that there was this crazy 100-mile-an-hour winds.

The fire chief later said it was like a five-alarm fire inside a tornado.

Like, there was just nothing anyone could have done.

And we could see the flames coming down the side of the hill toward us, which is a lot.

So you're just rushing around the house, trying to get out, trying to grab some things.

But we didn't have chances to grab much.

Otherwise, of course, the t-shirt would have been at the top of the pile.

Family pictures.

And then, yeah, then it's the after.

And I just don't think that's what I didn't realize that when I saw disasters on TV.

I would be like, oh my God, those poor people.

They lost their homes.

They lost their stuff.

Stuff is stuff that can eventually be replaced.

It's, huh, I don't have anywhere to live.

That's interesting.

My kids don't have this.

They don't have, you know what I mean?

So we're we're just getting into a new place.

That's why there's white walls behind me.

I still need glasses, apparently, and I need my t-shirt back.

And we will get you a t-shirt.

And I have to imagine that like a bonus little shitty part of it, obviously the house and all that is super important.

But then you have to do a lot of paperwork afterwards

to try to get.

any sort of like restitution back.

That's what would drive me insane is you lose everything and then you're like, yeah, you have to fill out these 20 forms.

I don't want to insult anyone, but the insurance industry in this country, whether it's medical insurance, fire insurance, whatever it is, sucks.

Yeah.

It's not great.

Agreed.

Not great.

Well,

Rachel, it's always great having you on.

We appreciate your time as always.

Hopefully we see you soon.

And thanks.

Thanks.

Happy Mother's Day.

Thanks for coming on for Mother's Day.

All right.

Good luck on Thursday.

Bring it.

Yeah, I'm going to be so agape.

You'll see me.

I'm going to be right up against the glass.

He's not going to close his mouth

entire game.

Yeah, I'm going to be the most agape guy in the United States.

There we go.

That's going to be me.

This is going to be me.

I'm going to be so agape on Thursday.

Oh, man.

All right.

Thanks, Rachel.

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Okay.

Let's wrap up the show with Jordan of the week.

Hank, do you want to start?

Do you want to?

No.

Okay.

Okay.

We'll start.

All right, I'll start.

Okay.

Okay.

What is there?

Pablo Tori came out with an in-depth,

fully journalism-ist podcast.

Okay.

You got this.

You guys.

Full journal.

Yeah.

Research.

In-depth In-depth research.

Sourcing.

Sourcing.

11 sources.

11 sources.

He had someone I think goes.

Family sources, program sources, Jordan

childhood and where she grew up sources.

A field reporter went to Jordan's mom's sex shop.

He did a very good job with this.

Yeah, he did a very good job.

And

I'll leave the rest to you guys.

Okay, so I guess we can just talk about some of the actual bits of news that came out of it.

One, he said that she was banned from UNC football.

Now, UNC football then released a statement saying that while she is not an employee of UNC football, she is not prohibited from visiting the team facilities.

But they did, in fact, say in the statement she is not an employee of UNC football, which seems to be a big takeaway because maybe some people were saying that she was acting like she was.

Right.

And

I don't want to say UNC copied us, but we, memes, got right on it when the news came out that she was banned from UNC.

Memes released a graphic saying that she is not banned from PMT.

Not at all.

And she is not.

Jordan, you are always welcome here, girl.

So it was like, she's banned, but then she's not technically banned.

Because I don't think, like, Bill can say she's coming to the office.

And that's something, but not, like, as a place of work, it sounds like.

Yeah, right.

So I don't know what she's doing.

I know she's running Bill's own personal stuff, like his social stuff, but I don't think that she's now officially working with UNC.

He also said that she was definitely behind the cancellation of Hard Knocks.

Yes.

That there was like pretty early on a clear power struggle, and they just said, you know what, this is not worth it.

We're going to be out of the Jordan business.

Right.

Which that's the beauty of, that's the beauty of commerce in America.

Right.

You can decide who you want to work with.

Listen, some people, they get intimidated working with an alpha like Jordan.

Right.

And it sounds like the people at HBO, they're like, you know what?

We're not going to be calling the shots here.

Jordan, I can already tell, that's a tough cookie.

I don't want her to take my job.

Yeah, she's probably going to run HBO soon enough.

There also was a, there's a little bit of confusion about her age.

She might have filled out

that she was born in 2000 in the UNC directory,

but she, I think, was born in 2001.

I don't know when it became appropriate to ask a woman's age.

I thought you weren't supposed to do that.

So let's just leave that one aside.

It's very impolite.

There's also a belief that

it's actually illegal to do that

in job interviews.

And you already said that she was not an employee.

Correct.

So in this portal thing she was filling out, was she applying for a job?

And you were asking her.

Good point.

Did you ask her if she was pregnant too?

Good point.

Because that's also illegal.

And also, I'd kind of like to know if she was.

Yeah.

Right.

Because she might be.

Maybe could fix all this.

the

she then there's also the belief that Pablo floated it out that uh they're potentially leaving the how did we meet thing because they're going to do a reality show.

Good.

More Jordan.

Can't wait.

Need it.

I want to see that.

Want more Jordan.

That's also very savvy from a business sense.

Yeah.

Don't, yeah, don't give that stuff away.

That's going to be gold.

And then the one part that I, because Pablo did a very good job of reporting, even though we might disagree on whether Jordan's a girl boss or not, I think she is.

The one part that maybe irked me a little, there was Pablo used an anonymous source that said one person said she's the worst person I've ever dealt with on earth, and I've dealt with actual sociopaths.

I'm not saying that is everyone, I'm just saying the story is extreme.

That last part is Pablo.

So the source said she's the worst person I've ever dealt with on earth, and I've dealt with actual sociopaths.

Anonymous source.

I have an anonymous source about Jordan.

I have an anonymous source that this person said, hey, if we ever want Bill Belichick Belichick on, we got to start being nice to Jordan.

Also, she's really hot.

Anonymous source, Henry Lockwood.

So I don't know.

Like, dude, we don't do anonymous sourcing over here.

I do think it's probably a bit of a stretch to say

she's the worst person I've ever met in my entire life.

I haven't met a lot of people.

The anonymous source probably also said that before, like, shit hit.

This is what when the anonymous source said that,

it was before this whole thing.

That's true.

it wasn't, it wasn't after this thing.

But I'm just saying, like, anonymous sources can go both ways.

Yeah, for sure.

Because that anonymous source who said, hey, if you want Belchik on, you're going to have to be nice to your own also said she's very beautiful and smart.

She is.

You're right.

Wait, you said that?

I think that I agree with this anonymous source.

Also, that anonymous source said, watch out, Christian McCaffrey may not play football anymore.

There was another story in this podcast that was about her kind of shoehorning her way way into another commercial.

We already heard about the Duncan story for the Super Bowl commercial where she's like, hey, Bill, wouldn't it be fun and cute if I was also with you and Ben Affleck in this shot and I'll just be in the background pumping my fist.

Guess what it was for?

America Agreed, it was a great commercial.

It was super funny.

It was super cute and super fun.

There was another commercial for Underdog where she suggested when she showed up for the shoot that maybe they do the commercial a little bit differently and said the script that they had for it.

What if the commercial was just about her in a yellow polka dot bikini trying to get Bill's attention by the pool?

Oh, which sounds like a great idea for a commercial.

And then apparently they pretended to film the commercial for her.

Oh, and they didn't actually have the cameras running at the time, but they were doing it to make her feel like, shoot, just, okay, we'll do what she wants and then we'll move on.

That one's tough, especially production.

Like,

that's a nightmare.

That's a production person's nightmare.

Oh, yeah.

But it sounds like it was a great idea for a commercial.

It sounds like we need this footage because it's probably going to be, you know what?

If we can get our hands on that footage, we'll make a Part of My Cheesesteak commercial out of it.

Agreed.

No problem.

Agreed.

Jordan, we'll have you.

We'll pay you to be in a Pardon Michaes Steak commercial.

Yeah.

Or if you just want to direct the entire commercial as well.

Yeah, whatever you want.

Matter of fact, Jordan, you are now officially head of production for Part of My Cheesesteak.

Yeah.

We'll be waiting for you.

And guess what?

We don't care how old you are.

Nope.

Well,

18 plus.

Yeah.

Cool.

18 plus.

Listen, Jordan,

you officially, I would like to make an announcement.

Breaking Moose, Breaking Moose.

Breaking Moose, Breaking Moose.

Jordan Belichick.

What's her name?

She's definitely Hudson.

She's definitely written that down in a couple of spiral notebooks.

Practice the old signature.

Jordan Hudson.

Whoops.

Okay, but we'll do that again.

Breaking Moose, Breaking Moose.

Breaking moose.

Come on.

I'm looking at moose, Hudson.

Jordan Hudson,

you are officially the first person

and the last person

to ever be granted

lifetime cheesesteaks from Pardon My Cheesesteak.

Wow, that's huge.

It's you, anytime you want a cheese steak, has to be for you.

You have to eat it.

You can't give it to anyone else.

Non-transferable.

That is legally binding.

Anytime you want a cheesesteak, it's on us.

One One thing I will defend her on is what if she got like super fat cheese?

No, not her.

She works for genetics.

Genetics.

Run her up.

You don't get third and runner, run her up.

Third.

Miss Maine.

The main event.

She's beautiful.

She's glowing.

You know what?

And she'd be just as beautiful even if she did eat cheese steaks every day for the rest of her life.

I would say even more beautiful.

Because what's the most beautiful part about her is what's between the ears.

Yep.

And it could be a live cheesesteak.

Yep, absolutely.

Don't, please, Jordan, do not put the cheesesteaks in your ears.

Is there, is there, I guess there is a big difference, kind of, but not really.

Of what?

Bill Robinson.

If Bill met her when she was 19 versus Bill met her when she was 20?

I don't know.

No.

I think Florio said that.

I pretty much.

He was like, there's a big difference between a 70-year-old meeting a 19-year-old and a 7-year-old meeting a 20-year-old.

I don't know.

That's literally like

satire.

Yeah.

Yeah.

When you're that far apart, it's like, it's a big deal no matter what.

We stand with Jordan.

Agreed?

Agreed.

Also, congratulations to the Miss Maine.

She looks beautiful.

I think she got hosed.

The one who won?

I didn't watch any of it.

I just saw the one who won and I was like, yeah, makes sense.

It would have been funny if during the question.

I assume they had a question and answer part.

I believe so.

I think she came out in a gown that said

it talked about Maine lobster fishermen.

Love that.

Love that.

So that was cool.

In the trap?

Yeah.

It would have been great.

Jordan in the trap.

It would have been great if they had just asked her.

So how'd you guys meet?

Yeah.

In the question and answer.

Yeah.

But yeah, listen, third is not something to be ashamed of.

No.

Jordan is our queen.

Hank, how are we doing?

Great.

Do you think she'll eat a cheesesteak?

I think she'll probably pick us up on that offer to be head of production for PMC.

Love that.

PMC.

Can't wait to work for you, Jordan.

Not even with you, but for you.

You tell us how to jump.

We say how high.

I'm going to do my job.

And that's whatever you say it is.

Literally whatever you say.

Eat that humble pie.

Big time.

Good.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

You guys think we nailed that?

Anything weird about

anything?

One thing that

I probably didn't talk about as much, but the

she was 19 when she met Bill, and she already had an ex-boyfriend that was like a 60-year-old.

Well, I think they dated after she met Bill because Bill was still dating his ex-girlfriend.

So they met and didn't start dating until two years after that.

Got it.

Yeah.

One of my favorite parts of the story was the old boyfriend that they did a little background on.

And he has written thousands of reviews on a wine reviewing website.

Yeah.

Thousands of reviews.

Thousands.

So it's like Pug when he gets on Untapped.

He always checks in when he drinks a beer, which rocks.

And then his friends like, Wait, you do that, Pug?

Oh, yeah.

Pug is big on

the beer apps.

I didn't know you rocked out like that.

Oh, yeah, I'm tapping in all the time.

Yeah.

On like a Friday, he'll report like drinking a beer, and then his buddies will be like, sick.

Oh, that's awesome.

Yeah, Montreal was awesome.

We tapped in.

Tapped in a few times.

How long have you been tapping in?

Tapping in for a few years.

Every time you drink a beer, you tap in?

No,

if it's like a newer beer I haven't had before.

Like, it depends.

Depends on the vibe.

If you're out for a night on the town and you, let's say you stick with one like domestic like beer and you have nine of them, do you log all nine of those in a row?

Because that would be awesome.

Probably just one.

Just one.

If it's a repeat beer, I'll keep it one.

We tap in on new beers.

New beers only.

Got it.

So apparently her ex-boyfriend is like that with wine, where he writes like these very flowery,

very prose-like reviews of every single wine that he ever drinks in his entire life.

Yeah.

That's a lot, man.

Thousands of reviews of wine is a lot.

Everyone's gonna have a passion.

That's true.

You know, people would look at parts of our lives and be like, that's a lot.

That's stupid.

That's true.

You know, like, hang golf so much.

Like,

this guy cares about the schedule release.

It's fun to complain.

I don't like, I don't like, I don't like to hate on the schedule release.

No, schedule release is fun.

Just do it all at once.

But you do it all at once, but I don't like them hating on us.

Yeah.

I don't like the way they've bastardized the schedule release.

I think it should just be one.

I think they should do it with no leaks and just be like, here it is.

But them judging us, it doesn't sit right there.

And some of the fun stuff on social media that the team accounts do is fine or whatever.

It's like their Super Bowl.

They ruin.

Or the team accounts.

But it's too much now.

It's too much.

I just pay attention to what the Chargers do and I move on.

Yeah.

Oh,

do you think Jordan will be UNC going to release a schedule?

Oh, they should.

Jordan.

They probably already have that released, though.

Yeah, that is released.

It's released years and a half.

Years, like five, six years.

Oh, Jordan.

She should do the one for like 2035 UNC schedule release.

Jordan, if you would like to do a schedule release with us on where we'll be watching each game, they'll all be in the gambling cave, but we could make

fun with it.

A lot of fun.

That would be a lot of fun.

A lot of fun.

Do you think he's going to coach?

Bill?

Yeah.

Or Jordan?

Bill.

Bill's the coach.

Yeah.

I got confused.

I think he is.

I think he is.

I think he is.

But now, people are asking the question.

I think he is.

I think he is.

Hank, do you?

Yeah.

That's what he does.

I do.

I think he is.

So when did they start dating?

I don't know.

Why are you shaking your head?

Do we know?

You said, yeah, but then you were shaking your head.

Was she...

I was confused.

Do we think that maybe, just maybe,

she was a reason why Bill didn't get an NFL job?

Yeah.

Maybe.

Like, maybe she was in the NFL.

I don't think that because I'm Team Jordan, but

there's a possibility.

No, I actually think it's the opposite, PFT.

I think he started dating her after, and if he had started dating her before, he would have definitely gotten an FL job.

He'd be commissioner by now.

Correct.

Correct.

It's just something to think of.

I think Arthur Blank has actually been a little bit more.

I mean, he did end up.

She went to UNC, right?

What?

She attended UNC?

I do not believe so.

Okay, never mind.

No, I do not believe so.

Take it back.

Okay.

I did not go to UNC.

I think Arthur Blank probably texted Bill Belichick and was like, hey, dude, why didn't you tell me about this cool ass chick?

Yeah.

I would have hired you.

Sorry about not calling you back for the second interview.

Yeah, no problem.

Do we think that had anything to do with how he left New England?

No, they weren't dating then.

Right.

Confirmed.

They just met.

Confirmed.

Yeah,

they weren't dating.

They just met.

Okay, Max, Hawaii, you're back.

Back.

You brought us gifts?

I brought gifts.

Are any from the Pope?

I looked for the Pope.

God damn it.

It was tough to find the Pope in Hawaii.

See this one right here?

All right, I'll start with you then.

It's an old-ass Pope.

I thought the Pope needed a friend.

Gino, just like.

Okay.

So

the Pope got

a Hula dancer.

Oh, hell yes.

Yep.

I love that.

The packaging kind of got a little destroyed in transit.

Oh, Oh, I don't love that.

I don't love that.

It still works.

All right, get it over here.

Let me see.

Everyone's getting two gifts except for Shane, who gets zero.

Oh, nice.

That also comes with

a homemade bookmark because you told me you were going to start reading this summer.

Yep.

Bought another book the other day.

Did you read the first one?

Nope.

But I bought another book.

I bought about five books this year.

I'm going to give all the way after.

No, no, bring it in, Pug.

Yeah, yeah.

Bring it in.

Pug, bring it in.

I want to play with my bookmark.

Yep.

There's like a little thing on it.

Okay.

I'll just go around in a circle.

Hank, you're next.

I went to a farmer's market in Kauai, and this is like

a homemade little candle holder.

Okay.

It came with a little tea candle, but that melted in transit.

So

there's like half of a candle in here that's like kind of broken, but the holder is still there.

What happened in transit?

Love that.

You know, it's far placed.

So, you know, it was in my backpack for a while.

And that comes with a magnet, also from this farmer's market.

Nice.

That says aloha.

All right, memes is next.

Is that the hello or the goodbye one?

What do you guys think?

What do you guys think?

Looks great.

Hopefully we're going to be able to get a lot of a great little collection.

Look, it looks like Belichick and Jordan.

That's a hot couple.

So cute.

All right, we're going.

Well, you guys just switched up.

All right, Pug, you're next.

Pug, this was from the farmer's market.

It's a little print from an artist, and it's just, you know, a little.

You went to one farmer's market and you got everything.

Correct.

And then this was from the

airport in Maui.

It is a salt and pepper shaker with two,

I don't know.

It's a Hawaiian salt and pepper shaker.

Cool.

All right, Pug, so this is for you.

Wait, a postcard?

Thanks, bro.

I love it.

It's like a little piece of art, and then the person who made it wrote a little aloha from Kawaii at the bottom.

Oh, nice.

This is for memes.

It's

another postcard.

Another kind of a postcard.

Kind of.

But it's Turtles, Mr.

Pear.

Oh.

And then a shot glass of boobs.

Nice.

Nice.

Damn.

That's so sick.

That's on brand.

Add it to the collection.

The boobs glass.

How many do you have, memes?

I have two.

If people just want to send me boobs,

Jack, I didn't really know where to go.

That's an interesting

way to go there, memes.

Yep.

Mugs, mugs.

Yep.

All right.

Mugs.

Yep.

Okay.

Jack, I got you a magnet with a bottle opener on it.

And then also some dark chocolate macadamians.

Oh, nice.

So, PFT.

I was about to do something super sick, but

I thought it would have been mean to the

rest of the team here.

I was close to get it bringing back like a

dude.

Like like a $300 ukulele.

That would have been super soup.

But it would have been super

fucked up.

Instead, you went with a bookmark?

No.

It's a postcard.

I went to that ukulele store.

I would have given up

the bookmark budget for the ukulele.

The ukulele would have been cool, right?

Yeah, right.

All right, whatever.

That's always the best way to introduce a gift.

It's like, here's the awesome gift I almost.

But instead,

super bad I got you some guitar picks from that ukulele store that I went.

I love it.

And then also from the farmer's market that I went to.

You put the ukulele on the counter.

He's going to be like, that's going to be $300.

I literally

did.

I'll just take the picks.

I literally did that.

I literally did that.

How much are the picks?

They're 50 cents.

Done.

Yep.

I got you five of them.

Sold.

Hell yeah.

I got five because I was like,

like a dollar.

That's actually, honestly, that is a great gift because I always need picks.

There we go.

They always disappear.

Great gift, Max.

I got you five guitar picks and this little bracelet that is made out of volcano lava.

Love that.

Very cool.

That is very cool.

Thank you, Max.

And that's it.

All right.

I'm so.

I think I won this with the bookmark.

Yep.

I think the picks.

Dude, did you see this bookmark that I'm going to totally use for the books I read?

It is pretty sick, but it's a bookmark.

You told me you were going to start reading books.

Who wouldn't want to get a gift of a bookmark?

You literally just gave me homework.

But

I'm just

helping you pursue your hobby for this summer.

A fucking bookmark is an insult gift.

That's what you told me you were going to start reading.

Every time I look at the pics, I'm just going to think about that sick ukulele.

It's going to make me happy.

I mean, no, I should have got the.

I'm going to put my bookmark next to the Pope just so I can just remind myself how awesome the gifts I get from my boys.

Do you have a ukulele?

I don't have a ukulele, no.

I also thought about that.

I was like, maybe he's got a yuke.

You're not fat enough to have the the ukulele.

You got to have some girth to you.

Max, you could be.

Max ukulele.

There we go.

For sure.

There was this, like, at one of the, you know.

That wasn't about being fat.

That was just the vibe.

Cause you look.

I went to a luau and they had a ukulele player who like travels the world and plays ukulele.

And it was like the sickest thing ever.

She was ripping the ukulele.

You can't.

Sounds like a doctor is the mother thing.

She?

She, yeah, she, she, she, I didn't know they made those.

Yeah.

Oh, I got to find her name.

you can't be bummed out listening to ukulele

my phone set

Wait, what'd you say?

I just said you can't be bummed out listening to ukulele.

Yeah, no and very lack she was ripping the ukulele.

She was so good.

Damn.

Great job, Max.

Nothing for Shane.

Nothing for Shane.

Well, Shane didn't give Max.

I gave everyone else.

I wanted to make sure I gave everyone else two gifts.

Two gifts.

And zero for Shane.

Thank you, Max.

Deserved.

This is a fun tradition we're starting.

This is a good way to combat vacation.

It's like a good way to encourage vacation.

No, but Hanky.

Oh, so

I can get some more bookmarks and pop pop butts?

Yeah.

People are saying Max is a new Hank, and I'm happy to pass the torch.

Yeah, but then I heard someone, I saw that, and then they're like, Max has literally taken like two vacations in his entire time here.

Yeah,

I just happen to be very close together.

Hank's going to go broke taking vacations with all the gifts he's going to have to buy.

That's a good thing.

Oh, my God, Hank.

You better my next vacation.

I'm balling out.

I want at least three bookmarks.

I just don't know when that is.

Okay.

I got nothing planned.

How do you got nothing planned?

Just grinding.

You are just grinding.

Just focus on the grind.

Are we still on for golf on Thursday?

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

Good show, boys.

Numbers.

Three.

40.

You're not going to to get it, though, memes.

What if today's the day?

Titty mug.

One.

I'll go with titty shot glass.

99.

Pug.

44.

21.

I'm going to go with 61.

I'm going to go with 6.

What was your guess, Hank?

40.

24 yet.

73 yet.

73.

One.

I don't even think I send them at one.

20.

20.

Oh, Shane.

So close.

So close to a gift or the ball, bitch.

Love you guys.

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