NFL With Fred Smoot In Studio, Week 3 Picks And Preview, Bills Start 3-0 + Fyre Fest Of The Week

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On today's part of my take,

we have Fred Smoot in studio.

Awesome interview with Fred Smoot talking the NFL, talking starting 0-2, defensive back celebrations, how much he hates pumpkin.

We're going to do week three picks and preview.

We have Jerry's Fantasy Minute.

The Bills start 3-0.

And then we have Firefest.

A lot of car problems this week for the boys.

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Today is Friday, September 19th, and the Buffalo Bills are 3-0, and Tua turned the ball over, did it again.

Can't see linebackers.

Tua Lipa.

It was bad.

It was bad.

It was the classic Tua.

I have a guy in front of me.

Everybody else can see this guy.

I'm just going to throw it right to him.

There's no way.

I have a guy in front of me.

There's no way another guy will jump in front of that.

Yeah, this is the last thing they would ever expect is for me to throw this pass to throw it and catch him off guard.

Now, Tua, he was okay earlier in the night.

He did complete 22 for 34, 146 yards.

I'd like to see, you know, those maps that they show?

Like the Amazon stats where it's like where the balls went downfield, his completions and his picks.

I guess that like 90% of them were within two yards of the line of scrimmage.

Yeah.

Three yards of the line of scrimmage.

Have you guys seen the viral teacher in Miami?

who teaches her math lessons based on the Dolphins.

She's a Dolphins fan.

So

it's actually very sweet.

She had all the kids pick a team.

All the kids have to track the record, do their math.

But one of the math things she does every single week is Tua's quest for 4,000 yards.

This is going to be a depressing update.

Yeah, it's not, what, 140?

What did it say?

146 yards?

146 yards.

So he's still got a long way to go.

I will say the Dolphins had way more life than I expected tonight.

They fought hard.

If it weren't for a roughing the punter penalty, they could have very easily won this game and to his interception.

Fought hard.

Division game, season on the line.

Because the Dolphins, like, looking at their schedule, they have some games they could win coming up, but that feels like a, you know, we push it all in to try to play our best, and we came up short because the Bills are just a better team.

I do that.

The Bills are just a really good team.

They win efficiently.

Josh was very good tonight, but it wasn't like...

Josh was very good.

James Cook might be one of my favorite runners to watch at this point.

The way he can weave in and out of the lanes.

Their offensive line played awesome tonight, too.

Their offensive line's one of the best in the NFL.

But it does feel like the Bills are in that mode that they don't have to play perfect and

they can still just kind of casually beat you by 10 points.

I know it was a seven-point game until the end with the field goal.

That's the over.

The Dolphins.

I'm surprised.

I'm pleasantly surprised with the Dolphins tonight.

Yeah,

this is a game where everybody expected them to go out and get their ass kicked and have them lose by like 30 points.

The Dolphins have not quit.

They have not yet quit on this season.

They're at a point where I think a lot of people expected them to quit.

They played really hard tonight.

They played pretty decently.

Like, they managed the game well.

They could have won this game.

There were a couple bad mistakes that they made.

If some things break their way, it's a different final result.

I was pleasantly surprised.

You know what this is?

This is a clap it up for the NFL.

Yeah.

Clap it up for the NFL.

They made a pretty good league where there's pros on both sides of the ball.

And you're never, you know, even the best teams versus what might be one of the worst teams, they're still closer than we realize.

And yeah, I don't know where the Dolphins go from here.

Get a little rest.

I would like to see that guy, Ollie Gordon, get the ball a little bit more.

Yeah.

Ollie Gordon is fun to watch, too.

He's a big dude.

Oklahoma State.

He was the one who Gundy,

I think he, did he get a DUI?

Or did I get that wrong?

Was he the guy where Mike Gundy was like, I've driven

so many times.

Hundreds of times?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was Ollie Gordon.

Yeah.

Yeah, he was arrested on suspicion.

Yeah.

Not to bring up a bad moment in Ollie Gordon, but it was more because it's just very funny that Mike Gundy admitted to like thousands of DUIs.

And he's Ollie Gordon the second, not Ollie Gordon Jr.

Correct.

What's the difference?

Don't know.

His dad's Ollie.

His dad's Ollie Gordon.

Correct.

Why isn't he Jr., though?

Why is he?

Because he's the second.

There's two of them.

I don't don't get it.

Hank, do you know?

I don't.

I think you just get to choose.

Ollie Gordon.20.

I think, you know what it might be?

I think it's maybe like one of those situations where

he's already agreed to name his future child Ollie Gordon because that would be the third.

Got it.

Got it.

So he is required.

Yeah, he's like, I got this, Dad.

Don't worry.

I will do Ollie Gordon, another Ollie Gordon.

Ollie's kind of a cool name.

Ollie's an awesome name.

He should name his kid Ollie Gordon 2 Jr.

yeah

his dad would be pissed off about that that would yeah yeah uh but yeah good game bills are i mean pete prisco told us this before the sea season started the bills obviously again any given sunday but the bills will be favorites in uh all their games going up against going up until the chiefs which they'll be favorites in that game too because it's in buffalo their schedule

They're going to rip off some wins.

They're going to rip off some wins.

That's what I'm saying, though.

That's why that Ravens game was so huge at the beginning of the season.

The schedule is awesome.

It breaks awesome for the Bills right now.

The one concern I would have, I don't know if you feel the same way.

Their running game, obviously, very good.

Offensive line, awesome.

Josh Allen, MVP, very excited about that.

Their receivers, they don't really have a game breaker at a receiver.

Do they need one?

No, I think the way they spread the ball around, I mean, look at just who caught.

There was like seven guys that caught at least two passes tonight.

Six guys was seven, maybe, but like, yes, six.

Their tight ends are good.

I love Shakir.

Keon Coleman's coming along.

Like, yeah, I don't think it matters because they do have the Josh Allen and an awesome offensive line.

It's the meme.

You can have anyone running out.

I do think that Shakir is still very, very underrated.

Yeah, yeah.

And their defense, they're missing Ed Oliver tonight.

Who else were they missing?

I think they were missing

Matt Milano.

Tamaro.

Matt Milano.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

So

that is, it does feel like it's crazy to say week three, but it does feel like the Bills are basically like, hey, can we stay healthy?

That's it.

Yeah.

I mean, how bad is Matt Milano right now?

He's always.

He's got a peck.

He's always got something.

He has a peck?

Yeah, he's always got something.

But is that, but this isn't like the Matt Milano last two seasons type injury, right?

He's just out temporarily.

Yeah, out temporarily.

I got to take real quick about this game.

It's not really about this game.

We did see some Bills fans with their shirts off.

There's one guy that looked like the peak male body, just like the perfect amount of fat.

And I say that in a loving way.

I don't think you should get to take your shirt off in Buffalo until it gets cold.

Yeah, it's stolen valid.

Anyone can do that.

Right.

Or at least maybe don't show them.

I treated the pick.

The guy, I mean, he really does.

Like, he's got a great body.

He's probably got the best body on this podcast.

It's kind of like Oldie.

Yeah, he's just kind of a beast of a man, fat in all the right places.

No, not that guy.

Keep going.

Keep going.

There he is.

Yeah.

That's strong.

He's bigger than oldie.

That's a guy who 500 years ago was a king.

I'm looking to get to that.

Shout out that guy.

Probably a listener.

He looks good.

He looks kind of like a mix between us.

Like, he looks strong, sturdy.

You took everybody on the podcast and morphed them into one person.

Yeah, that's this guy.

That's us.

That's the AI part of my take altogether.

All right.

Real quick, before we get to our week three picks and preview, and we have Fred Smoot coming up.

Did you see the news, Max?

Adam Schaefer tweeted out.

It was mere minutes ago.

Why don't you pull it up and read the headline for us?

Max reads the headline.

I don't want to read this.

I don't want to read this.

Max,

this is mean.

I can read it.

No, it's not mean.

Max, read the headline.

You're not going to care.

You're going to say, I don't fucking care.

Stop it, bro.

Stop it.

NFL is instructing its officials this week to call the tush-push tight going forward.

Yeah, whatever.

Don't care.

Okay.

Maybe it means like they're going to call it tight.

Like, it's awesome.

That is like tight play.

That is like 14% of your plays.

Yeah, we'll still fucking get it.

Okay.

Okay.

But there will be some penalties.

Like, that could be the difference between winning and losing a game if they call off sides of fourth and one.

They're going to be disciplined.

I trust my boys.

Okay.

All right.

This is the death knell of the tush-push.

I'm just so sick of talking about it.

I just wanted to either just let it keep going and let's never talk about it or ban it and never talk about it that way.

So the vice president of officiating said, we want to be as tight as we can be when we get into this situation where teams are in the bunch position and we have to officiate them being on sides movement early.

Prior to the snap, looks like we have movement by the right guard.

We also have movement coming from across the defensive side.

This is very hard to officiate.

I get it.

Yeah.

Oh, by the way, we forgot to mention, speaking of officials, Josh Allen technically kind of fumbled at the end of the first half.

He did, yeah.

I called that in real time because I saw him.

He got the snap, fumbled it as he kneeled, then got off his knee, recovered the ball, threw it to the ref.

I would have liked to see the ref do the opp do the ole and like jump out of the way.

Yeah, he's such a catchable ball.

He's like the spirit of the game.

He gave himself up, but yeah, he's got to tighten that up.

Yeah, he wasn't kneeled down when he had the ball.

Oh, maybe he was.

Oh, they would have reviewed it and they would have actually said, oh, I don't know.

I don't know, Jim.

Yeah, it looks like he has it with his knee down.

Yep, his knees down.

All right, he had it.

Never mind, scratch out from the record.

Great kneel, Josh.

It was close enough, though, that it was fun to debate.

Yeah, it's a little ray of sunshine if you're a Dolphins fan.

You're like, actually, we got fucked by the refs.

It wasn't the running into the kicker, it wasn't the interception that's the most interception of all time.

It's the fact that at the end of the first down, Josh Allen didn't properly give himself up.

Yeah,

I had one last thing.

I'm just very we talked about this on Wednesday because Max, the Phillies, clinched.

The Cubs clinched on Wednesday afternoon,

then almost got no hit on Thursday night, which would have been like the only time that you can be like, hey, hand up, we got no hit is because you were partying all night.

But it just got me so pumped for October baseball.

Seeing the boys celebrate just got me so pumped.

I love Shoto.

What he said.

Oh, yeah.

He's like, the trick is you actually absorb more of the champagne through your skin.

Yeah.

And then he just had his boys just hose him down with champagne.

It was awesome.

Let it marinate.

But that was the first moment because the Cubs are kind of in a weird limbo of they aren't going to win the central, but they're so far up on the wild card.

They clinch the wild card.

And it was just like, okay, this is going to be awesome.

Little home playoff games for the start.

Gonna try to go to every game.

I'm ready for October baseball.

It's been a long time.

What did everybody think about the champagne?

Hank?

Is that fine?

Yeah.

No issues.

I have never had issues

with celebrating making the playoffs.

I never said that.

Yeah.

Just wanted to make sure that.

Never said that.

I didn't.

Princessa.

Never said that.

I like your shirt, Hank.

Thank you, Twisted T.

I just thought maybe Hank would be upset because it has to be French to be champagne.

It's not French.

It's just sparkling wine.

Maybe we're botching the name of it.

I know you're a big European guy.

Could be Prosecco.

Could be Prosecco.

Yep.

Yeah.

Miguel.

Could be Cava.

But I'm ready.

I'm ready for playoff baseball.

I'm ready to go, Max.

Felt good.

Good ready.

Alright.

It's been a long time since since the Cubs have been in the playoffs, five years.

I posted a video in this shirt, and a lot of people were saying it looks like PFT dressed me this morning.

Oh, that's awesome.

What a good thing.

That's a great compliment.

Yeah, that's an

dressers we have here.

I think I'm a very good dresser.

I'll say this about PFT.

He does get dressed every day.

I've got my style.

Yeah.

And I don't care what anybody says about it.

If you were keeping score at home and you had a box that said, did PFT get dressed?

You would check that every day.

Yeah, people often tell me they can't believe that I'm 40, and I choose to believe it's because of my great skin and a youthful demeanor, but it's really just about how I dress.

I do love when people try to shame us for being old, and it's like, yeah, dude, it's pretty sick.

We get to do this.

Yeah.

I had some people doing that when I went on Chris Long's podcast a week ago and I said, tits are back.

The ass boys had their little run, but tits are all the way back.

And people are like, bro, you're fucking 50 and you're talking about this.

Like, yeah, that's awesome.

Also, when do you get too old to talk about this?

Right?

Yeah.

You're never too old to talk about tits.

There's a lot of things that we do here that are, you know, juvenile, yeah.

But talking about tits.

Everyone.

That's just good.

I hope that when I'm 85 years old, knock on wood, that I get there, I'm still talking about tits with my boys.

Facts.

Yeah.

That's how I want to go out.

Yeah.

Just get smothered by them.

Not fucking them, but talking them.

No,

if I ever come into a day and I'm like, hey, guys, you know what?

I don't like tits.

Put a bullet in my head.

Just end it right there.

That'll be my sign.

But something's wrong with you.

I feel like now the pendulum's swinging too far back where butts aren't respected anymore.

I don't care.

We had enough butt talk.

It's tits time.

I'm ready for it.

I don't hate butt.

I don't either.

But it did get like

fat naturals definitely went away for a little bit.

They did, yeah, the swinging ones.

And now they're back, and it's good.

Nice pair of shit.

Shout out to Sidney Sweeney.

Sweetie.

She's the one that

spearheaded this movement.

She was like, he had a big torch bearer.

Yeah.

She came through and just lit the lamp back.

Nobody had boobs.

Kate Upton.

Sidney Sweeney.

Kate Upton was the last time it was cool.

True Detective,

Alexandria Dodario.

That was a good moment for Boobs.

When do you think Boobs hit their peak?

That may have been a deep cut.

No, that's not a deep cut at all.

Well, I don't know.

I didn't get the reaction

I thought I was going to get.

I was just thinking about KB.

Our good friend KB has a really good riff that

you're gay if you know what happens in True Detective after she showed her boobs.

Because, like, if you watch her boobs and you don't just stop watching and go jerk off, then like, who, who finished True Detective after that moment?

I still don't know.

That's a great take.

I still don't know.

I still don't know what happened to the Titanic.

Yeah, right.

That was the first boob I ever saw.

Did it make it to New York?

No.

No.

Never made it there.

We don't know.

I'm so straight.

I'm so straight.

I turn off the show.

If somebody knows where the Titanic is, they're gay.

Yeah, right, exactly.

You just showed yourself, bro.

Yeah.

I always get to that point in the movie.

Yep.

And then I stop.

Yep.

I don't know what happened.

That dude on the sub that imploded, a little light in the loafers, if you ask me.

Oh, man.

Tony, call me old-fashioned.

God help me, I still like a good vagina.

We know you do.

Remember that was it, Mount Rushmore?

Yeah.

What can I say?

Like a snatch.

Vag guy.

You're a huge vag guy.

I'm the confirmed number one

vaginal vaginal enthusiast on this podcast.

I miss these Thursday night after Thursday night football because we're all so a little bit loopy from the entire week.

It's just like, what the fuck?

Let's just kill 15 minutes, talk Vag,

talk jerking off to the Titanic.

Well, you know why?

Because the game played out pretty much exactly how we kind of had envisioned it.

It actually was worse than we envisioned it because we were thinking, oh, we're going to get to record at like 9 o'clock tonight.

And then the Dolphins played good enough that we didn't get to do that.

Yeah.

But credits to the NFL.

That was a good Thursday night game.

We got to remember, there's going to be some clunkers on Thursday night football in the spectrum of Thursday night football.

That was a pretty good game.

I would say it was.

It was a competitive game.

I didn't say great game.

I said

it was a competitive.

And it kept our attention through four quarters,

which is awesome.

But it was also kind of, I would say it's one of the more boring 31-21 games that I've seen.

Well, because there weren't any like big, big, like huge touchdowns.

Yeah, ooh, Seattle versus Arizona next week.

That could

choose your bench.

That could test us.

That could test us.

The next week's good.

Niners, Rams.

Niners, Rams, good.

Yeah.

Aren't the Seahawks and nope, Seahawks lost to the Niners.

I forgot about that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

We got some tough.

Oh, oh,

oh,

Baltimore at Miami.

Ooh.

Pittsburgh at Cincy.

I mean, Philly at New York is not.

Oh,

oh, Jets, Patriots.

Yeah.

Oh,

that'll be a fun one.

That'll be a fun one.

Oh, that'll be a fun one.

That'll be a fun one.

Oh.

In the studio.

When do the NFL not like Amazon Prime?

What's going on?

When do we get the first Al Michaels unofficially quitting on a game?

I think I'm going to predict, go back up.

I'm going to say

it might be

Eagles, Eagles Giants.

If the Giants no-show that game,

that could be a bad one.

Yeah.

Also, if Carson Wentz is still somehow playing in October,

that could also be tough.

Or it could be great.

Dude, shout out Halloween, by the way.

Showing up on a Friday this year.

Big time move by Halloween.

Big time boob day.

That's a big time boob day, but big time like Halloween.

You fucking rocked it this year.

Friday, Halloween, nothing better.

Nothing better.

What do you think's a bigger boob day?

Halloween or Valentine's Day?

I'd say Halloween.

Halloween, for sure.

For sure.

Halloween.

Halloween.

The only thing that could compete might be 1-1.

Well, July 4th is the only thing they could compete.

Yeah.

Halloween.

Everyone's in a bikini.

Halloween blows it out of the water.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Halloween's big time.

Mm-hmm.

Big time.

Can't wait.

Guy like me, can't wait.

I like Halloween because I like watching my kids trick-or-treat.

It's fun.

It's fun.

It makes me a little teary-eyed.

I've got to figure out what I'm going to be for Halloween this year.

Maybe I'll just be a boob.

Just a giant boob.

That would actually be funny.

Probably not appropriate.

All right.

Week three picks and preview and Fred Smoot coming up.

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uh should we talk so they did it to us again a little bit a little bit more balanced in the fact that we have four games in the afternoon but they did it to us again there are i believe nine games early they don't care they don't care about our

schedule they don't care how many tvs you have the nfl just knows you're going to watch whatever's on just give us what like i was thinking about this more

why can't we just do a couple staggered starts Like college football does a little bit, yeah.

Do a noon kickoff?

Do a 1.30 kickoff.

No, Hank.

Why?

It's too much.

Too much to handle.

It's too much to handle right now when there's nine games early.

I agree with Hank because what you'd run into is you'd run into games that are just ending at wildly different times.

I like the pattern in the NFL where you know it's the witching hour.

Yeah.

And if you have multiple witching hours, like a late witching hour, an early witching hour, then you don't, you can't can't lock in.

And the thing about me is I got to lock in.

You got to lock in.

But nine is a lot.

Yeah.

Eight I can handle.

I don't know why there's a difference, but eight I can handle.

Maybe it's because we have eight TVs.

That's exactly what the issue is.

Now that I'm saying it out loud.

He's like, there's a shitload of people listening to this right now that are like, I can do four games.

Yeah.

But eight?

You're like, yeah, that's what our issue is.

We have eight televisions, and it's personally inconvenient for us.

Therefore, the NFL should change its policy about eight to nine games.

Correct.

What do you say, Hank?

My biggest issue is when they only do three games in the afternoon.

I don't care as much about the nine at once, but the three in the afternoon is, it'll probably happen more times than the end of the season.

Like, that bothers me.

Well, Hank likes it.

To no end.

He likes it when there's one at 8:30 in the morning.

Yeah.

No, I don't like that either.

Brow the game.

I hate that after the game.

Brow the game.

Bears, Cowboys, game of the week.

Is it?

Yeah, in the afternoon.

Hey, listen.

That'll be fun to watch.

If it keeps going how we've we've gone through two weeks,

through two weeks in a row, two weeks into the season, the NFC offensive player of the year is just whoever plays against the Bears.

So this should be a good game for Dak.

Jared Goff, one week two.

JJ McCarthy, one week one.

Yeah.

That would be such a hilarious streak if every single quarterback.

I'm excited to watch that game, by the way, because there's going to be points.

Yeah.

There will be points.

And maybe there won't be.

No, there's going to be points.

But that's also, wouldn't it be perfect Bears to be be like this now a clunker.

All right, so real big, big picture thoughts, Hank.

Uh, I know you're gonna like this because I know we've been striking out on the hungry dog.

I saw some stats like uh, favorites of two weeks, chill out.

What?

No, all last season, too.

No, I won last season.

Wait, I'm I'm I'm on your side.

I'm about to give you stats that we've been striking out.

There's been two strikes.

No, all right, let's rewind the tape here.

Let's rewind.

Let's restart timeout.

Let's call it timeout.

Let's call it timeout.

Felt perfect.

Perfect timeout, call it a quick tea.

Let's not not chirp the hungry dog to like week 10.

What I was saying was, Hank, it's ridiculous.

It's like the favorites of six or more are covering every single game.

That's crazy.

That doesn't happen.

And it's unfair.

That was my point.

Got it.

We haven't had any start.

No big upsets.

LeBron James is still perfect on his money line picks.

Although, it's bullshit because when I see LeBron talk about his thoughts as a sports junkie, regardless of his own sport that he plays, I follow LeBron's picks.

They hit week one.

He just didn't do picks for week two.

Yeah.

And now he's back for week three.

Okay.

That's some bullshit.

Picking and choosing, taking a week off.

But he is the money line king.

Yeah.

What I was going to say to you, Hank, is 0-2 dogs of three and a half or more since 2010 are 64% against the spread.

Those teams this week, Dolphins, which obviously we just talked about, Titans, Panthers, Browns, Jets, Saints, Giants.

Gross.

How about this one, though?

0-2 teams versus 1-1 teams are 70% against the spread since 2010.

Panthers, Texans, Saints, Bears.

There's some juicy ones.

There's some juicy ones.

I'm just saying.

We also have, this is as early as it feels that we're in week three and we have potentially five backup quarterbacks already starting game.

Yeah, we have a

landslide of quarterbacks that are hard to get excited for.

I will say, thanks to the schedule makers and the injury makers.

One of them is a confined backup quarterbacks.

It's self-contained.

Yeah, we've got Bengals and the Vikings, but we have Jake Browning, Carson Wentz, Mac Jones, possibly Marcus Mariota, possibly Tyrod Taylor, all starting games.

So let's get into it.

Let's go through every single game.

We'll start with Packers at Browns.

Browns, eight and a half-point underdogs, over-under, 44.5.

Matt LaFleur in September is 17-6 against the spread.

He's also 8-1 against the spread in true road games.

He's a really good coach.

I'm starting to think this coaching thing might work out for him.

Yeah, he's a very good coach.

The Browns haven't been as bad as you think that they've been.

They've had bad turnovers.

It was a misleading final score against the Ravens, as crazy as that sounds.

It's really crazy to say a 41-17 is misleading.

You can only push a team so far until they just completely collapse.

And the Browns' defense has been good.

They've gained a lot of yards on offense, too.

They've outgoed their opponent.

They've moved the football.

Yeah.

They are the number one team in terms of yards per game on defense.

They're number one overall.

And yards per game on offense, they're down there a little bit, but the Browns aren't as bad as you think they might be, but they are in complete collapse watch.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It feels like they might have hit a breaking point.

I think I'm going to bet on them this weekend.

I think I will.

I think we're going to see more Dylan Gabriel than we saw last week.

I should start him.

They're not ready to tear the band-aid off with Joe just yet.

um

but yeah i i feel like they're they're a sneaky team because you always get some wins or some covers that make absolutely no sense teams have been written off yep the nfl is a hard league to predict it is i don't i don't think that the browns are as dead as some people think that they are i got a pop quiz for you guys this one kind of shocked me how many weeks in a row has josh jacobs scored a touchdown

pop quiz

seven i don't know 11 wow okay isn't that kind of crazy Yep.

Don't think that's talked about enough.

So 11 consecutive games, Josh Jacobs scored a touchdown.

The record with a touchdown is 17 for Christian McCaffrey.

Remember when he was like

minus 350?

If he gets to 12, here's the guys since 1990 who have scored 12 straight weeks.

Christian McCaffrey, our good friend Arian Foster, Emmett Smith, Derrick Henry, and Ladania Tomlinson.

That's some pretty elite company.

Yeah, pretty much a sure thing for him.

Going up against the Browns,

the Browns just can't run the football.

They have no plan to run the football.

Yeah.

Their plan is like, let's let old man Joe throw the ball.

Hopefully we catch him and we don't deflect him into the arms of our opponents.

But we're not even going to try to run.

And then their defense, as good as it's been, they're not turning the ball over at all on defense.

I also, like, wear the shots.

I want to see Joe Flacco take some shots.

Yeah, get the passenger.

He's not had the shots.

He has not.

Just let him fucking be Joe Flacco.

This seems like a bad stat for Browns fans out there.

The Packers have dominated the Browns over the course of the rivalry, if you can call it a rivalry.

The Browns have not won back-to-back games against the Green Bay Packers since when?

Back-to-back games.

Back-to-back.

Two in a row.

80s?

In the series.

No.

Worst.

70s?

Worst.

60s.

Worst.

50s.

1955, 1950s.

Nailed it.

It was the last time that the Browns beat the Packers back-to-back.

You can't beat a back-to-back if you don't start with one.

Yeah.

So, this could be the start right now.

This is the dawning of a new era.

Yeah.

Okay.

Colts at Titans.

Titans, four and a half-point underdogs, over-under, 43.5.

The Indianapolis Colts have played near perfect.

They've scored on 14 of their 16 drives so far this season.

They have zero turnovers through the first two weeks of the season.

Also, the Titans lead the league in penalties with 23.

I'm calling this right now as my regression to the mean game.

Okay.

I don't know if the Titans can win, but I do think they can cover because they're a division dog at home.

And as good as the Colts have looked, and I'm not trying to say the Colts aren't, you know, like 2-0, looks awesome.

Daniel Jones looks awesome.

They did beat the Dolphins.

The Dolphins are a dead team.

And then they needed kind of a Broncos, not meltdown, but mini-meltdown to beat the Broncos.

They needed some leverage at the time.

They needed some leverage.

They needed Bo Nicks to throw that terrible pick.

I think the Colts are good.

I don't know if if I'm buying them as an elite team yet, and now they have to go outside and play against the Titans who are looking for their first win.

I'm going to bet the Titans again.

I'm sure what will happen in this game is it will be very close at halftime, and then all hell will break loose and the Titans will lose by like 20 points.

But I'm going to do it.

Is Mrs.

Ursa getting on the headset?

She's got to be.

Do they provide her one on a road game?

I don't know the answer to that.

It might inform my betting strategy, but you're right about the Titans and their penalties, because if you count the penalties that got picked up because they got declined, they've committed 28 of them.

They're minus 119 in penalty yard differential.

Yikes.

And they've had 193 penalty yards that were assessed to them.

It's like a very well-coached team in the Colts versus what appears to be a poorly coached team in the Titans.

I also think that the Titans,

they're starting the conversation regarding their head coach.

Oh, yeah.

Because he falls firmly into the Ken Wesenhunt, Mike Malarkey pantheon of kind of forgettable guys that have coached the Titans over the years.

And I like Brian Callahan.

I do too.

But, yeah, I mean, the penalty's got to get cleaned up.

I just think looking at the Colts, they played perfect football, essentially.

You can't play perfect football all the time.

Yeah.

It's going to be a turnover.

I think that

they're going to punt in the first half.

Okay.

I wish we could bet on that.

I think they will have over half of a punt in the first half.

Over half of a punt.

Yeah.

Okay.

Hank, can I interest you in the Titans?

Yes.

Yeah.

I like the regression of the mean game.

Yeah, regression of the mean game.

That's what I'm coining it.

All right.

Next up, this is the confined backup quarterback bowl.

Bengals at Vikings.

Vikings minus three.

Over-under is 42.5.

All of our lines are coming from the DraftKings sports book.

Here's a fun fact:

Carson Wentz will make history on Sunday.

He will be the first player player to start for six different teams in six consecutive seasons.

That's crazy.

The Eagles, the Colts, the Commanders, the Rams, the Chiefs, and the Vikings are the teams that can list Carson Wentz as their starting quarterback.

Max is back.

Max is back on Carson Wentz.

I'm not back.

I'm never going to be back on Carson Wentz.

He bums me out to watch him play his high little knees and his skinny shins and him flailing around in the backfield.

And I liken him to the episode of The Simpsons where they have the monorail salesman that goes town to town.

Yeah.

And he gets everybody excited, and then he just leaves it in ruins afterwards.

And you're like, why'd we ever give that guy the money?

The one thing that might work out for him, he has been in the building with Kevin O'Connell for, what, three months?

Two months?

Not even close.

One month?

How long has he been?

When was the same house?

He's been there less than a month.

Less than a month?

He got signed after training.

Yeah.

How viral is the Kevin O'Connell quarterback dust that gets put on people?

Like, What's the exposure that you have to have to Kevin O'Connell to get fixed?

That was part of my I like the Bengals because

August 24th is not a lot of time to learn the entire offense to be around the guys to get first-team reps, which he probably didn't do.

Also,

I'll say this.

I think Kevin O'Connell is a really great coach.

I don't know if I'm ready to put him in the he can fix anyone guy.

Sam Darnold obviously had a great year last year, but like, remember two years ago when like Dobbs, he played good for Dobbs played great.

Oh,

but then it kind of wore off, yeah.

Nick Mullins, Jaron Hall.

Remember the Jaron Hall game?

That was bad.

Yeah.

So

I think Kevin O'Connell is a top upper echelon coach.

This will be a great test.

Can he fix Carson Wentz?

Because like I don't know Shanahan and McVay, I'm comfortable saying give him anyone and he can get a way to, you know, like figure out a way to win a couple games with them.

I don't know.

I want to see it.

This will be it.

If he can do it with him, then I'll put Kevin O'Connell firmly in that group.

I'm not ready to say that about Carson.

I don't think that Carson Wentz is fixable.

I think he's got too much scar tissue.

Yeah.

I also was like, I flirted with the Carson Wentz like, ooh, maybe, until I was scrolling Twitter and I saw, remember the play where he definitely avoided the safety by throwing a pick six in the the end zone.

Yeah.

Literally through the whole play was confined to the end zone.

Yeah.

Max is, I don't know why you're allowing yourself to get excited about.

I'm excited.

He's a fun quarterback.

He does stupid shit, and he's funny.

He's funny.

And if he's good, that would be awesome.

Yeah.

So, Dobbs reminder: the Dobbs thing, it happened for the first two games when he was with the Vikings.

He won the first two games, and then he lost the next two and one

was a four-interception game, and then

he won his last one with the Vikings.

That was the 3-0 game.

Remember that game against the Raiders?

Yep.

So

I think, again, Kevin O'Connell is a very, very good coach.

I want to see it.

If he can do it with Carson Wentz, then I'm officially putting him like the Matt LaFour can do it with Malik Willis kind of category.

You know, like

Sean McVay can do it with Baker getting off a plane.

Those guys, that's a different level.

Kevin O'Connell is right below it.

Carson Wentz gets you up in that level.

So they put out a list of the top 12 backup quarterbacks.

Where would you put Jake Browning on that list?

I would put him high.

He's 4-3 as a starter for the cycle.

Which is what you hope for out of your backup.

Can you go in and keep us around 500?

So ESPN had him as second on the list,

which is pretty

pretty high.

He should be number one.

But

I keep going back and forth with Browning because

he's not the most exciting guy to see get in a game, but I think he's able to manage it okay.

And I think the more I think about the the realistic solutions that the Bengals have at quarterback, this is going to be the one.

I think we're just going to ride it all out on Jake Browning and see what happens after this.

Because with the signing of Sean Clifford, like they signed three different versions of Jake Browning.

So at least they've got the same system in place if Jake Browning gets her.

Yeah.

By the way, one last thing about Kevin O'Connell.

I think he's in fuck it full send mode.

Because did you guys see who the Vikings signed?

Because if this works with Carson Wentz, he's going to be full, like, hey, hold my my beer, watch me do this.

Desmond Ritter.

Yes.

Yeah.

If he could do Carson Wentz, he's going to try to do Desmond Ritter.

And that's going to be fucking crazy.

I can fix that.

That's going to be some wild shit.

I would rather have Sam Howell.

I feel like Sam Howell would be a better option for him right now because he will throw the ball.

Yeah.

By the way, the Vikings, so teams to play back-to-back night games in the first six weeks of the season are one and seven against the spread since 2023.

So body clock.

Okay.

Body clock.

So, in the week after they played back-to-back, back against 1-7 against the spread since 2023.

Okay.

Just something to throw out there.

Steelers and Patriots.

Patriots plus one and a half.

Over-under, 44.5.

Hank,

how you feeling?

I feel excited.

I feel like the Patriots are just going to be in shootouts, and this is going to be another shootout.

Drake May looked great.

I enjoy,

I think it's just my algorithm.

I've gone into the all-22 algorithm during the week,

the film Twitter.

Yeah.

And Drake May's film has been great.

There are some throws that the film geeks are getting full hard on.

Are you a film guy now?

I'm not.

I just,

it presents itself in front of me, and I'm, and obviously I like the Drake May one, so then I think I just get fed more.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm a film guys guy because I watch other people break down films.

I do think it's like, I think, I think it makes no sense because when you just isolate one play, you can make anyone look good or anyone look bad.

But

it's gone into my algorithm and I like it.

Are you excited about the Patriots' uniforms this weekend?

Very excited.

What are they?

They're the red throwbacks.

Okay.

You do love a red coat.

Yeah.

I did.

Root for that.

Yeah.

It's natural.

I love the Patriots' red jerseys.

What are the Steelers wearing?

Just Classic Road?

He's just Classic Road.

I think they're doing Classic Road.

What do you think about the big news, the big Patriots news of the week?

Do tell.

I'm breaking this to you.

Oh, you know it.

There's a baby in the family.

Cardi B.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Stefan Diggs had sex with Cardi B, ejaculated inside of her while she was ovulating, and now she's pregnant.

They're non-married.

It's probably a secret marriage.

No, it's probably secret, yeah.

Yeah, that's exciting.

Hopefully, this, you know, he can get his head on right and start making some big plays.

Grow little.

Family.

Yeah.

Time to grow up, Stefan.

So you think you're going to win this game?

I don't know.

The Dolphins and Raiders are objectively bad teams in both games.

We lost to the Raiders and it was a battle against the Dolphins.

I could see us losing this game, but I'm excited to watch them fight.

Do you know the last time that Pittsburgh beat the Patriots in New England?

2009.

2008.

When Brady was hurt.

Yeah, it feels like the Steelers never beat the Patriots.

Yep.

Yep.

You think Mike Tomlin?

I'm betting the over in this game.

I think I'll be on Patriots

over bets for the first time.

Foreseeable future.

Okay.

Put the word out.

Okay.

Rams and Eagles.

Eagles minus three and a half over under 44.5.

This will be main TV, I think.

Yep, for sure.

I'll agree.

This is a big game because obviously it could be playoff seeding.

Rams and Eagles both top of the NFC.

Jalen Hurts coming off 253-yard passing.

So he's been hot.

What?

I didn't say anything.

Yeah, yeah.

So he was that said?

253-yard passing.

For Hurts?

Yeah.

He's coming off that.

Against who?

Against the Cowboys and

the Chiefs.

Yeah.

Combined.

Combined passing yards.

253.

I don't care.

I mean,

Max, you just got to lean into it because Saquon has been awesome against the Rams.

Oh, my God.

He's destroyed the Rams.

I have the stats.

You have the stats?

I got some of the stats.

Which one were you going to say?

I was going to just say all of them, but go ahead.

You go.

You go first.

All right.

He's had two games last year, 460 yards, four touchdowns, 8.8 yards per rush.

And he's had touchdown runs of 62 yards, 78 yards, 70 yards, 72 yards.

So 460 yards.

That's insane.

How is that possible?

I saw that stat, too, and I didn't look.

I didn't care to examine it.

That's like four Jalen Hurts passing games.

So it's 460 yards rushing against the Rams?

Means like that one.

That was good.

That was good.

Yeah.

Or how does that break down?

But guess what, PFT?

I don't know if you know who the Rams have now.

Puna Ford.

They do have Puna Ford.

Huge, huge get for them.

Yeah, I don't know if the Rams are good, or I don't know if they've played against bad teams.

Yeah, I...

Because

it's impossible to tell with the Rams.

We'll talk a little bit with Smoot about it later.

You could say the same same thing for the Eagles, though.

The Rams, yeah, that's true.

Good point.

The Rams don't blow teams out in the regular season.

In the playoffs last year, they blew out the Vikings, but they just don't do it.

You can go back, like, I think, two seasons.

You have to go back over two years, maybe three years, to find the last time that they beat a team by like 15 points.

Yeah, I said the stat on Sunday.

Yeah.

It was 2013.

Or sorry, 2023, week 10.

Yeah, so they don't blow teams out.

We don't know how good they are, but we know, I think we can say that the Eagles are probably good, right?

The Eagles are very good.

They're Super Bowl champs.

Yeah.

What are you looking at, Max?

Zach pulled this up.

He just happened to pull up Jalen Hurts' Super Bowl throwing stats, but that's.

Oh,

he just happened to pull it up.

What do we think about the fact that Sean McVay tore his planter fascia?

Football guy?

Yeah.

Football guy?

He's didn't miss his practice, right?

That sucks.

Is he going to be in a scooter?

I don't know.

I would like to see Sean McVay on one of those one-legged scooters.

I did that in the high school sideline.

Yeah, we got a history of that thing.

Also, the Eagles have owned the Rams 9-1 against the Rams since 2005, dating back to 2005, including the playoffs.

And the only time the Rams beat the Eagles was the COVID year.

It's done count.

Max, I got a question for you about the birds.

Are Jalen Hurts and A.J.

Brown okay?

We're just going to keep doing this.

Now, if you look at the stat, like A.J.

Brown hasn't really done anything, and he's, you know, he's kind of a diva wide receiver, and that's a good thing.

I think that to be a true number one,

you got to have a little bit of shit like that.

Is everything okay between them?

Yes.

He went on someone's podcast and just said it's bullshit that

when they win the game and every time he doesn't touch the ball, people get mad.

I don't think anyone gets mad about that.

Yes, they do.

Max, I have a good stat for you.

Did you know that.

You just said a lot of good stats.

Well,

I did.

Yeah, I did.

The good news for that relationship is that it looks like Emmanuel Forbes might be guarding A.J.

Brown this weekend, which would be great for the Eagles.

That's your boy.

Never, never my boy.

That's your boy.

You love him.

Manny

Forbes.

Skinny Legs.

Never been my boy.

He weighs about 130 pounds, and he will have a hard time dealing with A.J.

Brown if that's the matchup.

I'm very excited for this game.

Jalen Hurts, in games that he has started and finished, he is 18-0 in his last 18 games that he started and finished.

That's pretty interesting.

That's a great.

Now that's a hell of a stat.

That's a hell of a stat.

The Eagles, and he doesn't give a fuck about how.

They just keep winning.

They just keep winning.

So, are you nervous for this game, Max?

Yes, I am.

The Rams are a good team.

I'm happy that we're at home.

I think that

mitigates a little bit of my nerves.

Is that the right word there?

Yeah, that was perfect.

Nice.

Yeah.

I should have trusted myself right off the rip.

The offense is nerve-wracking.

The offense is nerve-wracking because the offensive coordinator has not been too creative creative with his play calls.

Talking about Kevin Petula?

Yeah, great Italian man.

I don't like that they named him Kevin.

I'm just going to say it.

That's not an Italian name.

I'm just like, you have the good last name with the vowel.

Give us a Tony.

Give us a Dom.

Give us a Vinny.

Maybe a Joey.

Joey.

Yeah, Joey works.

Even a Johnny.

A Carmine.

Johnny Petula.

Johnny Johnny.

Kevin Petula doesn't work.

No.

They just say it's an Irish name.

Yeah, no.

I would like for him to get into his bag a little bit more for this game because I think the Rams have a good offense.

I think there's going to be points scored in this game.

And I think we're going to have to

keep up.

Imagine how many passing yards Jalen Hurts would have this season through two weeks if it was Salvatore Petula calling the plays.

Sally Petula.

Sal Petula.

Holy shit.

I mean, that would be incredible.

A.J.

Bridge would have four touchdowns.

Yeah.

Super happy.

Dom Petula.

Dom Petula would be awesome.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Maybe he needs to change his name.

Okay.

So you're nervous.

Yeah, I'm nervous.

I think I'm going to take the Rams plus three and a half.

I just think it's going to be a close game.

I think so.

I think

that's a fair pick.

And I think the Rams,

like we said on Sunday, they maybe kind of woke up a little bit offensively because Stafford wasn't in training camp, but that second half against the Titans, it was like, oh, okay, here we go.

Took them a game and a half.

They might be ready to go.

All right.

Jets at Bucs.

Bucs minus seven.

Over under 43.5.

Memes.

Let's fucking talk right now, okay?

The Bucs are, by the way, wearing their white creamsicles.

Awesome jerseys.

Awesome jerseys.

I think the Jets can win this game.

They should win this game.

They should.

They should win this game.

Short week.

We're talking a rest?

We're not talking rest.

75% of their offense is hurt.

The Bucs.

The Bucs.

Yes, the Bucks.

And Abuka hasn't practiced for two days.

So they might be down to one receiver.

They're down to one offensive lineman.

Yeah.

You think they should win.

They're not going to.

They were down some linemen on Monday night, too, but then they lost their best lineman after that game.

Cody Mock is out for the year.

How long can you keep this up?

Three of their linemen who are their starters are out.

Are out.

And their left guard is a practice squad guy.

Are you a Tyrod Taylor believer?

Excuse me, Tyrod.

Tyrod.

I am a Tyrod Taylor believer.

Because your coach seems to be the biggest believer of all time.

I mean, he's a better quarterback throwing the ball than Justin Fields.

Well, so that's definitely true.

Right.

But what Aaron Glenn, or sorry, not Aaron Glenn, what

Todd Bowles was almost like more of a believer than Aaron Glenn was.

Yeah.

Because Todd Bowles says that he's just as good.

He can run just as good as Justin Justin Fields.

I don't know about that.

He says he gets out of the pocket.

He's very elusive that way.

He knows where to go with the football.

But he said he can run just as good as Justin Fields.

I don't know that that part's true.

No, he was running a little bit last week.

He's just old and slower now.

Well, fun little wrinkle for this game.

Baker Mayfield started his career replacing Tarod Taylor.

He came in relief for the Browns seven years ago.

I think he brought them, I think they were down like 14-0,

and Baker came back and won that game.

So, yeah, these guys know each other.

They know each other.

Tyrod Taylor, Tarad.

Tarod is 2-0 against the Bucs.

The Jets, I believe, have a winning record against the Buccaneers, too.

Okay.

And I don't think the Buccaneers do well in alternate uniforms.

I'll have Zach fact-check me.

We can look that.

Now, I would say that the orange creamsicles are the better jersey if you have to put them up against the white creamsicles.

Whites are pretty nice, though.

The whites are so sick.

Because they're like understated.

The orange creamsicles, I love them, but they're obviously

a lot of like orange.

It's heavy cream on the orange ones.

These white ones are a little subtle, a little bit smoother.

Good uniforms.

We are extremely hurt.

I'm a little bit nervous here.

Jets could win this,

but I would like to see the Bucs win.

Are you guys going to do a mayor's bet?

What do you want, bet?

What do you got, Hank?

I got a clock addition or substitution okay idea give it to us countdown to the 10-year anniversary of the show oh okay that's a good one yeah i like that one was that about the jets or the bucks or nope just no i just clocked it yeah it was fine well they were bought up the booth and i just

yeah that's a good addition i like that uh yeah what would you guys bet loser has to get a clock countdown to their death and we just pick a random day and then we kill you death clock yeah week three death clock week three death clock oh All right.

Yeah.

That's what Zach wants to do.

All right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We'll do it.

We'll do the math and we'll do like the average lifespan of an American male.

And we'll just bump it up.

We'll be like, oh, no, you know, 85.

85 years old.

85 is a great number.

Yeah, I mean, that's a great number.

Yeah, that's right.

But it would also kind of fuck you up seeing it.

Yeah.

Every second matters.

Yeah.

Then you just start thinking about all the things you

like the time you waste.

Like if you did an actual clock on it, that's terrifying.

Yeah.

It might make you more productive.

Or you just spiral.

It's like every second matters to me.

I got to be productive, right?

I got to get out there and live life to the fullest.

Too productive.

Maybe too productive.

Yeah.

You know what Tarad's record as a starter is?

No.

28, 28, and 1.

Oh, I love it.

Yeah.

Right.

For a tie.

I thought that he would.

Yeah.

A ta.

A ta, yeah.

If it's Tarad.

Yeah, if he

I thought that he would have more overall starts than that, but we also have to remember that he has like the weirdest, freakiest injury history of any quarterback probably to ever play.

The time when he got his lung punctured getting a painkilling shot by the Chargers team doctor stands out to me.

I hope he's healthy.

I like watching him play when he's healthy.

Memes, good luck this weekend.

I am, I'm rooting for the Jets.

I want to see you happy on Sunday.

I want to see me happy, too.

I don't think it's going to happen.

They could win this game.

I think they could win.

There's a great opportunity for Aaron Glenn, especially there have been some people already turning on him.

Oh, Oh, man, that's crazy.

Who's turning on him?

The media.

He's been one-wording the media at press conferences.

He's been one-wording him?

One-wording him or like two-wording him.

He's just like, we got to watch film every like after every single question.

Yeah.

Kaliji Cancey also out.

Also, we should shout out Sauce Gardner's been really good.

He's back.

He's back.

He had a little bit of a rough week last week against Bills.

A lot of holding penalties.

But good opportunity.

You shut down Mike Evans.

There's no other receivers.

So, yeah, what is up with the Buka exactly?

It's a groin/slash hip.

So

he's been out the past two practices.

Groin slash hip.

And you don't think he's going to play?

Zach.

He didn't practice the last two days.

He might still play, but

there's no way to know.

Yeah, the question I was getting at is who is going to see Brandon Stevens?

Sterling Shepard.

Sterling Shepard and who's it, Tom Miller?

Mm-hmm.

I could see Brandon Stevens Stevens locking up Tom Miller.

Mm-hmm.

Brandon Stevens had another play last week that was just like firemen to the sun.

Yeah.

That James Cook Ronnie just gave up.

Yeah.

Okay.

PFT, your game.

Raiders at Commander.

Oh, by the way, I think they're honoring the Super Bowl team at the Bucs.

I think Gruden's going to be there.

Oh, that's cool.

Yeah.

So

a little juice there.

Raiders at Commanders.

Commanders minus three over under 44.5.

Is it Marcus Mariota time?

I think it's Mariota time.

I do want to see him play.

I would love it if Jaden was healthy, but I also recognize it's early on in the season.

And yes, I think back to RG3 and how he tried to play through a sprained knee, sprained MCL, and it didn't end up good for anybody.

I would like to see Mariota.

I think he's probably the best backup quarterback in the NFL.

He was great last year.

He was awesome against the Cowboys.

And this is actually, so for all the talk about Jaden possibly being injury prone, this is the first start that he will miss as a quarterback if he does miss this game.

Oh, did he come out of the game against the Panthers?

Yeah, yeah.

So, he, on like the third run that he had of the game, that feels like hurt his rib.

Yeah, we'll start.

Yeah, but he didn't miss a start after that because he played against the Bears the next week.

I think this might be the first missed start of his career.

I'm actually hoping that he doesn't play this weekend.

Yeah, and benched him.

I personally missed talk of sophomore slump.

I personally asked him to, I know it's HIPAA to discuss his injury problem, problem, but I'm personally asking him to just take it easy.

Yeah.

Just take it easy for everybody.

Just take it easy.

We're going to get some Tom Brady discussions because he did call the week one game of the Giants and the Commanders.

Now the Raiders are coming to town, but it's a short week for the Raiders, and it's a very long week for the Commanders.

So we had a mini-buy after Thursday night,

and then the Raiders played late night on Monday.

Yep.

And so I, I personally would take the Commanders to cover the spread regardless of who the quarterback is.

I would agree with you.

It's been a long week for Geno Smith, too.

He claims that he watched the film 10 times from Monday Night Fourth.

There's no chance that's possible.

He said it was tough to watch, honestly.

You can't just flush it.

You have to learn from it.

Take what they give me.

It's that simple.

10 times.

I hope that his big takeaway from watching the film 10 times was give the ball to Ashton Genty more.

And Ashton Genty said that.

He said, I don't think you draft a guy like me to not give me carries and touches.

I'm ready for the responsibility.

I got to continue to get better.

There's a learning curve to the NFL.

None of the, for it's very early, but for all the talk about this running back class,

no one's popped.

Yeah.

None of them block.

Oh, is it?

Are you talking about Travion?

Yeah, and George.

Yeah.

Omarion Hampton waiting for him.

Yeah.

Got to have.

Scataboo's had some nice runs.

Scataboo's been awesome.

Yeah.

But yeah.

Caleb, what's his name?

Caleb Johnson had the walking away from a touchdown.

Yeah, it's been bad for running backs.

We thought that they were back, and now every GM's like, that's why I don't trust any of you guys.

Get me a sequence.

I think that they're going to try to feed Genti more because they've got to see what they have, right?

Absolutely.

Like, for the most part, when I've watched Genti and he's gotten the touches, he's looked good.

He hasn't looked great, but I think they want to see him at the peak of his abilities and be like, is this guy going to be a difference maker?

Yeah.

Okay.

Next up, Falcons at Panthers.

I don't know.

Panthers are probably dead.

I don't know.

I don't want to to bet on the Panthers, but I'm probably going to end up betting on the Panthers because they're five and a half-point underdogs at home in a division game.

But I think the Falcons are good.

I've got a fix for the Panthers.

Stop passing the ball to Xavier Legette.

Yeah.

Stop throwing to Xavier Legette.

Tet McMillan's awesome.

Because, so here's a stat.

When they threw to Xavier Legette,

Bryce was one for eight, passing, negative two yards, and a pick.

When he was throwing to anybody not named Xavier Legette, 34 for 47,

330 yards, three touchdowns, no picks.

Okay, get it to tet.

Get it to tet.

I like Xavier.

I hope that Xavier is able to have a good season, but right now, he's not playing well, and the entire offense kind of goes how he goes.

Yeah, I think I'm going to be heavy Bichon on this game.

Heavy Bichon.

The Sports Info Solutions guys gave me a stat that they're heavy.

The Falcons are a heavy zone running team, and

the Panthers have the worst success rate defending those runs.

Yeah.

Heavy Bichon.

They love giving him the ball at running back.

They also love sending him out to a slot or receiver position and then throwing him.

Yeah, the offense runs through Bijan.

Yeah.

Okay, so Texans at Jaguars.

Jaguars minus one and a half over under 44.5.

This is the ninth final game in the early slate.

What are we thinking?

Texans, listen, the Texans are 0-2, but they also have lost to the Bucs and the Rams.

Hungry Dog runs faster.

Oh, yeah.

CJ Stroud said they had to

have the hard conversations in the locker room.

What do you think those are?

Do you guys want to do a couple hard conversations?

I'd like to do a hard conversation real quick.

The hard conversation about their running backs who are named Chubb and Woody?

That's probably hard.

Because I actually went back and I think that the Texans have led the league in hilarious backfield combinations over the last 15 years.

They've got Chubb and Woody.

They had Smelly Johnson.

They had Arian Klutz and they had David Duke.

They're just addicted to having funny name combinations

that line up for them.

We need to get a Richard when Joe Mixon gets back.

Yeah, that'd be good.

Richard Mixon would be hilarious.

Yeah.

Or Mixon and then Atwater.

Is there an Atwater in the NFL right now?

Steve.

Get him on there.

But yeah, let's have a hard conversation about

the Texans.

Well, no, I was going to have a hard conversation about about the Texans.

I was just going to have a hard conversation.

The Ryder Cup is out.

I think I'm really, really bad at golf, boys.

I think I'm ready to admit that it's not my sport.

I don't know what to do.

I was going to say

bad tape out there.

The shot tracker on my drive that went like two inches was very mean.

I was going to say, at least you're having fun out there, but you're not.

I was having fun at the tournament.

All non-golf parts of the tournament, I had a blast hanging with the boys.

Like, we hung out.

Like, we were staying.

I think it was Miyu, Wit, Kirk, Biz at a cabin.

We hung out every night in the backyard in the patio.

Uh, was so much fun.

Soon I had to play golf wasn't fun.

I, I, I would like to say this when it comes to, and this is in general with golf, because people, people, you know, people are saying you're terrible at golf, people are saying PFT is terrible at golf, people are saying I'm terrible at golf.

Like, oh, all you do is golf.

First of all, golf is it's

about having fun with with your boys.

Reminder, by the way, we're having a hard conversation right now.

I guess, I don't know, this is a hard conversation.

This is more just a rant, but it's like golf.

Keep it to hard.

Keep it to hard.

Here's a hard conversation: if you think you're good at golf, you're just as far away from being a pro as we are.

You have a 0.0

chance of being a pro as we do.

If you're a two-handicap or a 25-handicap, we have the same amount of chance of going pro.

So that's a fact.

And the beauty of golf is the handicap system.

You just have to be better than you normally are on average that day.

Yeah, that is a fact.

It's a fact, Hank.

It is a hard conversation.

Also, alternate shot is the most stressful format that you can get.

That sucks so bad.

Especially if you're teamed up with somebody that's much better than you.

Yeah.

And then you just feel like a raging piece of shit the entire time because you are the entire reason why your team might not be winning.

Yeah, I'm a scramble guy.

Because then you could just be like, hey,

you're not going to get a lot from me.

You'll get a couple, but you're not going to get a a lot.

Yeah, that's a good point.

Booth, you guys want to have a hard conversation?

How's the diet going?

It's okay.

Down 17

through 10.

Max, look at me right now.

We're having a hard conversation.

We're doing the CJ Stroud, the Texans are having hard conversations right now.

It's not easy conversation time.

It's hard conversation time.

I didn't have a great week, but, you know, it ended up,

I just didn't lose any weight this week, but I didn't really gain any either.

I gained a half a pound.

I gained a half a pound.

That's nothing.

Also, the week's not over.

I barely gained any weight.

I mean, gaining a half a pound, like that, that's

losing weight.

That's nothing.

And I had a bad week, but I had some good days mixed in with some bad days.

What was it that did it for you?

This weekend, I got super drunk one night.

I woke up the night.

You got to drink beers.

One thing about our guy, Max, if you don't let him drink beers, he's going to die.

So, yeah.

I woke up the next morning.

I was like, at least I didn't drunk eat.

And then my fiancé was like, you ordered so much taco.

Which you got to do, Max.

You start the night off and you're like, I'm going to drink healthy tonight.

And you drink a vodka soda for your first drink.

And then after that, then you're like, oh, fuck it.

I'll just have some beers.

But at least you had that first drink as a vodka soda.

Yeah, no, I started with two martinis that night.

But that's basically a vodka soda.

That's what I love about Max, though, because he's just like, I was talking to him about his diet.

This might have been a couple weeks months ago, and you were just like, I was like, what about cutting out drinks?

Like, I got to drink like 20, 30 beers.

Yeah.

I mean, especially during football season, it's like, come on.

It's, there's nothing better than like a Saturday in Chicago going from bar to bar with all of your boys.

Yes.

Like, you have a different bar for a different, for the different slate.

Everything, all the bets are together.

You're going to drink 20 beers.

I'm going to drink 20 beers on a Saturday with me.

Like bar hopping, like the casual bar hopping, when you just, all you do is change

the location and the angle of what you're looking at TVs by going to a different bar and you all of a sudden are like, oh, this is a completely different experience.

There's nothing better.

Yeah, it's so true.

You're like, oh, I got a new, I can stay here for another three hours.

And then you switch it again.

Another three hours.

It's the best.

It's the best.

All right.

What game are we even on?

We're on the Texan Jaguars.

Okay.

Down 17, by the way, collectively.

Let's go.

Zach is being a beast.

Zach's just not.

That was hard conversations

by PMT.

Okay, afternoon slate.

Broncos.

Do we want to talk about Brian Thomas at all?

Yeah,

he's got some bad tape.

Bad tape out there.

I've heard also this might just be like a Twitter rumor that he's going through something personal.

Oh.

In which case, that'd be bad.

But then Liam Cohen said that he's got a wrist problem.

Ah.

So he might have alligator wrists.

Okay.

not the full arm.

We got to get that fixed out.

Hard conversation about Travis Hunter or not yet.

He is he got that was bullshit

defensive pass interference.

He's also the leading receiver for the Jaguars.

Nine catches.

That was a hard conversation.

I like hard conversations.

T.A.

Stroud.

Shout out to T.A.

Stroud.

We're having a hard conversation.

All right, Broncos and Chargers.

Chargers, minus two and a half.

The over-under is

45.5.

Regression of the mean.

I kind of like the Broncos.

I feel like this is one of those games that if

the Chargers kill the Broncos, the Chargers are just really fucking good.

I think they're very good, but if they kill the Broncos, they're just really fucking good.

I think we're on stranglehold watch for the Chargers.

Yeah, if they win, this would be 3-0.

3-0 all games in the division.

Yeah.

That feels like we're in stranglehold territory.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Sean Payton did come out and basically took blame for the loss against the Colts, which I, it, I feel, you'd be pissed if you're a Broncos fan, but also nice that you can stop arguing about leverage because he literally came out and said, yeah, that was leverage.

And also I fucked up.

I shouldn't have been doing an aggressive field goal block on a 60-yard field goal.

That was my mistake.

Yep.

So he said it.

And so, yeah,

I'm going to be

very interesting.

No Khalil Mack, obviously.

I feel like the Broncos.

I'm probably going to take the Broncos in this game, but it might just be...

I watched, did you guys watch that Quentin Johnson touch?

I watched it probably like 15 times.

Justin Herbert throwing a 60-yard ball on a rope.

I don't, like, I know there's been a ton of unbelievable passes, but the fact that Quentin Johnson didn't even stop like a little bit of his stride, it was just perfection.

I thought you were going to say the fact that he caught it.

Well, yeah, that it was a perfect pass.

He's been catching the ball.

He has, but he's been better this year.

Yeah.

But that thing was like, it was a fucking bomb that somehow floated into his arms as he was was running, and he never broke stride.

You know what I love about that?

I think from that camera angle, it was like a, what, 54 yards in the air?

Yeah.

I don't think it ever left the screen, did it?

No, and it looked could watch the ball the entire time.

And it was so like, it doesn't, Justin Herbert has effortless, like, arm strength.

Oh, it didn't even come close to leaving the screen.

No, it was perfect.

That was just a laser beam that he threw.

And shout out to the Chargers.

I think they finally have realized, hey, we should let our really, really good quarterback throw the ball.

Yeah.

let him cook a little bit.

Let them cook.

Yeah, I think I like the Broncos too, though, even though the Chargers have been awesome this year.

I just feel like

this is a very important game for the Broncos.

They can't lose last week and then not respond from it.

I want to throw you guys a stat real quick.

Player A, player B, blind resume.

Ready for it?

Player A, 80 games

through their first 80 games, win-loss 42 and 38, 62.1% completion percentage, 20,000 yards, 138 passing touchdowns, 100 interceptions, playoff wins and losses, 0-3.

Player B, 81 games, 43 and 38, 62% completion percentage, exactly the same, 21,000 passing yards, 142 passing TDs, 45 interceptions, 0-2, and playoffs wins and losses.

That's Peyton Manning, Justin Herbert.

Literally identical.

Yeah.

Now, Peyton Manning played in a different era, but still.

Well, then they had to change the rules.

They had to change the

playoffs.

Yeah.

But identical start to their careers.

Pretty good if you're Justin Herbert.

Yeah.

Okay.

Oh, I didn't even realize this.

You see, Colin Coward said that he said, I'd make an argument today: the greatest coach in the history of football is not Bill Belichick or Bill Walsh or Vince Lombardi.

It's Jim Harbaugh.

That is a hell of a take.

Hey, get off our fucking corner, Cat.

That was a hell of our take.

Let's talk about it.

Let's have the conversation.

We're having it.

How many have the hard cards?

All right, you got to start out with Super Bowls.

So, off the top of my head,

what are they

probably tied in Super Bowls if you're having this conversation?

I'd actually, I don't think you have to start Super Bowls.

I think you have to start

national championship.

How many national championships do they have probably?

Bill Belichick, Bill Walsh, or Vince Lombardi have zero.

Okay, and then the other guy, I forget, probably has a few of them.

He has one.

Okay, but so I think he's probably got the Super Bowls.

Yeah, but he also

making Stanford good at football counts as a Super Bowl.

That is actually valid.

Yes, I will agree with that.

Yeah, I think it's a little early for that.

Let's have, we love Coach Harbaugh.

Let's have him win a Super Bowl first.

Yeah, he would probably tell you to fuck off.

Yeah, he'd be like, hey, I want to win a Super Bowl first.

Okay.

Saints at Seahawks.

Spencer Rattler is 0-8 as a starter.

Will he get his first win this week?

Yes.

You think they're going to win?

I think they're going to win.

Do you think the Saints are going to beat the Seahawks?

I like it.

I think that they might yes i'm going to take the saints plus seven yeah i don't know if they're going to win the game hungry dog hank

maybe

no maybe

okay i think it would be i think beast quake when i win these two teams play in seattle for sure yeah and this would be spencer's first win first win first win as a starter first win as a starter uh the seahawks aren't as great at home as they have been in the past yeah no it's been weird if you want to in the sarley

yeah can i put that in there Yeah.

Let's go Saints Money Line.

All right.

I like it.

You're a bold man.

Hood at.

That's a hard conversation.

Me dat.

A hard conversation that you're going to have to have with yourself on Monday morning is I put on money line on Spencer Rattler who's never won an NFL game.

0-8.

That's a hard conversation.

I went back.

I watched his series on Netflix.

He's got some good film out there, too.

It's not just him being a dickhead.

Yeah, the Seahawks have not been as good at home.

And they're, you know, still like a better team at home than on the road, but it's not like it was in the early 20 teens.

Yeah, the heyday of it.

Yeah, yeah.

Cardinals, 49ers.

Cardinals have 49ers, 49ers minus two and a half, over under 45.5.

I really like the 49ers in this game.

I'm not buying the Cardinals yet.

Yeah, they've played some bad teams.

Well, that and also, I cannot, will not, should not bet on a quarterback.

that took a picture and put on Instagram of him in a Michael Vick jersey with a pit bull.

With his dog.

He said, I saw how it affected people and decided to take it down.

I apologize to anybody and whoever I affected.

He apologized to you.

Yeah, he did.

But yeah, the picture, he said that he wore the Mike Vick jersey earlier in that day.

Yeah.

Then he went home.

He saw his pit bull.

Trunks.

Trunks.

Trunks and

this is trunks.

Yeah, shout out Trunks.

Trunks looks like a very good boy.

Wild picture to post.

Now, in his defense, he's wearing a Virginia Tech Mike Vick jersey, which was before Bad News Kennels.

But there might have been other.

You think Mike Vick was just in it, like long haul, this was what he was doing?

Maybe.

I just know.

So, this is one of those situations where I'm not like, oh my God, fuck Kyler Murray.

Like, fuck him for life.

How could you do that?

It's more if your quarterback's making, if this is the judgment of your quarterback, that's a bad sign.

The decision-making process.

The decision-making process is lacking.

You know what this tells me?

Kyler's been back online gaming.

Yeah.

Because this is definitely something that, like, you would make a joke to your friends in the Discord chat, like, hey, you won't take a picture wearing a Mike Vic jersey and a pit bull.

Yeah.

And then you go out there and you do it.

Yes, I agree.

Also, that dog might outweigh Kyler Murray.

Trunks.

Trunks is a big boy.

Trunks.

Yeah, it's a Trunks bet.

Yeah, you just can't bet on the Cardinals after that.

You can't.

Also, here's a fun fact that I was shocked by.

Did you know that Kyle Shanahan is seven and nine straight up versus the Cardinals?

His worst record against any team.

Yep.

But I dug into it a little bit more.

Kyler Murray is one and three.

Kyler Murray is four and four against the 49ers,

but he's one and three against Robert Salah,

being the defensive coordinator on the 49ers.

I've read a bunch of stuff, it feels like the 49ers defense got a little of their mojo back with Robert Salah.

I think they did.

And I also think that the Cardinals defense has lost whatever mojo they were hoping to have because I think they're down three cornerbacks that won't be playing.

In solidarity with the Niners who have lost all their receivers.

Yes.

The Cardinals will like, fair as fair, will take some of our guys out, too.

Yeah.

Brock Purdy is practicing, maybe, so he might play, but I just roll out Mac Jones again.

Brock Purdy is threatening to play this weekend.

He's telling everyone, watch out.

Okay, last afternoon game, Cowboys at Bears, Bears plus one and a half, over under 50 and a half, the game of the week.

See Ben Johnson's comments?

What'd he say?

They asked him about the Tom Brady situation.

What'd he say?

He said it's overblown.

I don't think it's a big deal at all.

Okay.

But did he also say it was weird?

No.

They didn't ask him if it was weird.

Bruce Arians was on McAfee show.

He said, yeah, that's completely overblown.

I used to just tell him the truth because no one believed me anyway.

Daniel Orlofsky went on ESBN.

He said it was weird?

Nope.

But no one's talking about the...

The only thing we're asking is, is it weird?

They would have said if it was weird.

They all said no.

No, if they weren't asked.

Their only source right now is Florio.

What did Dan say?

Dan, I'll read the quote exactly.

I'd like to know what Dan said, and also how many interviews Dan Olavsky's been in as...

He's probably talking as broadcaster.

I don't think it brings integrity into the equation.

I don't think Tom gathering the season changing information that he's going to be able to acquire to bring back to the Raiders, that's going to help them win the game.

Okay.

So essentially not weird is the translation of that.

I stand by my take that it's weird.

We don't know if it's weird or not.

Are you worried, Big Cat, about the Matt Ibrif Lewis revenge game?

Slightly.

Here's, let's have a card conversation.

I've crunched the numbers.

This is a gateway game.

If the Bears win this game, and I'm not saying that the Bears are going to win this game because Jalen Johnson is out for a very long time.

We don't have any cornerbacks.

The ones we have are not great.

The defense has been just absolutely lit up.

Cowboys have a really good offense.

It's going to be a a tough game to win, but it's a gateway game.

And by that I mean if the Bears win this game,

don't be shocked if the Bears are 5-4 or 6-3.

Okay.

But they have to win this game.

But wait, if they have to win this

game, then no,

couldn't they still be 5-4?

No, no, no.

Season's over.

It's a gateway game.

This is the gateway.

I think it might be a gateway game for your feelings about Caleb Williams as a quarterback.

I'm talking about the Bears season.

Because if they go 0-3, it's going to be just full, like Caleb's got to look good.

I'm talking about the Bears season as it stands.

If they win this game,

we are now going through the portal, and then I'm going to snap my fingers, and you can even make this edit.

Snap my fingers.

Holy shit, the Bears are 5-4?

Bears are 6-3?

6-3?

How the fuck did that matter?

So 6-3 would be special because that would literally mean that you are above a 6 out of 10.

That would mean that you're a 6 out of 9, which is more excited than you were.

Just saying.

they got to win this game, though.

If they don't win this game, none of this matters.

They're 0-3 and they just suck.

And that's very much on the table.

Do you do a snap the fingers they lose this game and where they're at after 9?

0-9.

Remember when we went through the schedule on Monday, and you were like, I think

it was loss, loss, loss, loss.

Yeah.

I don't know if you know this about me, but

what did Coach O say?

Like, competition Tuesday, get better, like tell the truth Wednesday or whatever.

By Thursday, every week, I'm back.

Isn't Thursday no repeat?

So, Big Cat's literally not repeating his take from earlier this year.

Yeah.

No, someone pointed that out when I tweeted that it's a gateway game.

They're like, dude,

you said on Monday, like, how is it possible?

I'm like, it's Thursday now, buddy.

We're ready to go.

Again, they could very, they probably will lose this game.

So I'm not saying they're going to win this game.

I'm just saying don't let them win this game because when they win this game or if they win this game, we're thinking five or five and and four.

So after they win this game, then you have the Raiders.

Win.

If they win this.

Yeah.

Then you go to the Commanders.

That's probably a loss.

But if they beat the, if they're on a two-game win streak, they might just be good.

They might just rip another one off.

Then they have the Saints at home.

Win.

Then they go to the Ravens.

If this is a four-game win streak, they might just be really good.

And then they go to the Gaija.

Jake Browning and the Bengals.

Yeah.

And then the Giants.

The schedule gets easier.

I'm just saying,

watch out.

But again,

when we snapped my fingers Sunday night and they got blown out by the Cowboys, season's over.

If there is one thing.

It's a gateway game.

I love a good gateway game.

If there's one thing that Matt Ebreflus is really good at, he's figuring out ways for the Bears to lose football games.

Yeah.

That's what I would be concerned about.

Yeah,

I do like that Ben Johnson basically called out everyone, and a lot of it feels, people think it might be DJ Moore,

but

this feels like a gut check point for the bear season.

It's a gateway game.

I'm also, I'm actively monitoring Ben Johnson and how well he's able to do coach speak in his first season as a head coach.

I think he's done really well in the coach speak department.

Like they asked him about last week, and for the most part, he was like, I did a really, really bad job.

Yeah, everything's on me.

He's extremely honest, which I love.

He's saying it how it is.

And like, you wouldn't think a new coach would call out his team like that being like, we're not even close to like a good football team.

We're going to have to compete more in practice.

We're going to have to ramp it up.

Like I like that.

Culture change.

Yeah.

With a little cleanup on the Brandon Aubrey conversation from earlier this week, I actually heard from an NFL GM about our debate.

Yeah.

He said he would go in the first two rounds.

You said first round.

He said first two rounds.

You said first round.

This guy said first two rounds.

And that's changing the debate.

And a team could fall in love with him.

But that's changing the debate.

It's pretty close, though.

Well, if you said first two rounds, it might be different.

Okay.

But first round, I just, there's just no way.

Okay.

Because like the

Cowboys, you know what the Cowboys Giants game, like the, you're like, oh, the Cowboys have Brandon Aubrey.

He's incredible.

He won that game.

Do you know what would have won that game if the Cowboys had a lockdown corner?

Right.

Probably more important because he plays in every snap on defense.

Was Jerry Jones actually Galaxy Brain when he traded Micah Parsons?

Because if Micah Parsons was in on that play in overtime, he'd probably sack Russell Wilson instead of Russell Wilson throwing that interception.

He was.

Yeah.

Think about it.

Yeah, listen, Brandon Aubrey, I talked to Todd McShay.

He said probably maybe second, probably third, which that's fine because he is very, very good.

But I still think if you did a redraft of the entire league, you'd draft offensive and defensive lineman first, not Brandon Aubrey.

Build the whole thing around a kicker.

All it takes is one.

Also, shout out to Steelers fans who are getting upset because they said that Chris Boswell, and I do, Chris Boswell does have to kick outside.

Brandon Aubrey does not.

That's a big difference.

All right, Chiefs at Giants, Sunday Night Football, Giants plus six, over under 45 and a half.

I want to do a, you guys ready for Read an AI headline?

Because sports writing is going away, and now we just have AI articles.

I've gotten addicted to looking at the different overseas Facebook groups for different teams that just make up stories entirely about them.

Those are very fun to watch.

All right, here it is.

It's from Nidhi.

I think he's Indian.

Patrick Mahomes sets sights on Giants' 11-4 record amid Chiefs' three-game losing streak.

Yeah, that's one of those headlines.

Yeah, Trevor sees like India Chiefs fans.

Yeah, Giants are 11-4 all-time against the Chiefs.

So that's what Patrick Mahomes is using his motivation for this week.

Yeah, he's pissed off.

He's pissed off that like 40 years ago, the Giants beat the Chiefs a bunch.

He's really upset.

He's fighting for the entire honor of the Kansas City area.

Yeah.

I kind of like the Giants in this game.

No?

I think the Chiefs are going to win.

Six points.

I don't think the Chiefs can blow anyone out right now.

Mahomes.

You have enough guy.

Mahomes doesn't lose on Sunday night football.

He just doesn't.

Mahomes, can you envision that?

I know, I can't.

If you do

a little look into the future, if you try to remote view it and you think about it, use your imagination.

Can you imagine Patrick Mahomes losing in MetLife Stadium on Sunday night with Chris Collinsworth being like, well, none of us saw this coming tonight, Al.

But could you also imagine, could you also imagine the Chiefs being up 20 to 16 in the fourth quarter and then just running, like Mahomes,

it's four minutes left.

And if the Chiefs get a first down, the game's over and Mahomes runs, scrambles for eight yards and then ends the game.

Yeah, yeah, I could see that.

Yeah, I could see that too.

The Giants might get Andrew Thomas back, which would be huge.

That would be enormous.

Maybe Jackson Dart package.

Maybe we see the dart attack.

Dart attack.

Maybe more Scataboo.

Ooh, scataboo.

Scataboo.

Busy, busy.

Got a boo.

Got a boo.

All right.

We were so close to our parlay.

That's my fault.

Jordan Mason.

And they didn't score.

I'll say this.

For everyone who rode our parlay with us,

the silver lining is no touchdowns in the game period made it feel a little bit better.

Yeah.

Like if everyone else had scored except Jordan Mason, I would have been very upset.

They just didn't score touchdowns.

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Max, do you want to fill in for me?

Because I lost.

Sure.

Okay.

Afternoon games.

What do you guys got?

Hmm.

Hank?

I'm 2-0.

Also, top the leaderboard on picks for the guy that doesn't care about football.

Oh, okay.

Busy, busy.

Scataboo.

Scattaboo.

Okay.

All right.

I will go

see

with

Ricky Pearsall.

Wow.

Okay, like it.

I mean,

should I take a chalkier pick?

Now I'm stuck.

Just go with your heart.

What do you got?

Well, for the Sarlay, the Sarley for this week is Saints money line, Bill, anytime touchdown score.

Okay, I love that.

Packers money line plus 830.

Okay.

No, I'll stick with Busy Busy.

All right.

Scataboo.

All right, what do you got?

I am going to take

Romadunze.

Oh, I like it.

I think there's going to be a lot of points in that game.

That's got to be a juicy one.

So, Rome, Scatabo, and what was yours?

I had Ricky Pierceall.

Ricky Pierceall.

Yeah.

So go bet that on the DraftKings sports book.

Ride with us.

That'll be a fun one.

What are the the odds right now?

It's got to be Juicy.

I don't know.

I can't find Ricky Pierce.

He's on the 49ers.

I know that.

No, it sounds like you don't know that.

I know that he's on the 49.

I don't think that's the one.

No, he's not listed right now.

Yeah, he's not listed.

He's not listed right now.

Okay, then.

Can I change mine then?

Yeah.

I got to change it if he's not up there.

Well, there's only four players.

I don't know why that is right now.

Is he not playing?

No.

He probably is.

I probably will be, but maybe they're waiting to hear about Purdy.

That

could very much be.

That could make sense.

Okay, then I'll go with

I'm going to go with JSN.

Okay.

All right, so bet that with us on the DraftKings Sportsbook.

Let's finish with our picks, and then we have Jerry O'Connell's fantasy minutes.

What is that?

What does it pay?

Max is struggling.

You okay, Max?

Max, are you okay?

You took JSN?

Yeah.

Max is AG Brown.

He plays for the Seahawks.

He plays for the Seahawks, not the Raven.

He's a wide receiver.

Yeah.

There it is.

Found it.

He was just searching.

Then you got a click.

I couldn't.

Spelling is hard.

Juicy.

Juicy, juicy, juicy.

Max might need a new mouse.

He might need one with wider buttons.

All right.

It's just one button.

It's a hard conversation.

Did they make the hard conversation?

Did they make those like a computer mouse for fat guys?

I don't know.

I remember when my grandmother, before she died, she lived with us and

we had to get the phone with the huge fucking numbers.

I love using those phones.

Yeah, you can't miss

to get on that desk.

Luxurious.

I wasn't saying, Max, I said for fat people.

The thing about you is a joke.

I'm five foot.

Rather be fat than short.

You can always lose weight, Max.

I could always move to a different country where everybody's shorter than here.

Nepal?

Yeah.

Pardon my take from Nepal.

All right.

Let's do our picks, and then we have Jerry's Fantasy Minute.

Who is up first?

Is it Zach?

Max is up first.

Okay, Max.

I'm up first.

I'm going to take

Bears, Cowboys over 50 and a half.

Yeah, you knew that was going to go.

You knew that was going to go.

By the way, the standings are...

You have four?

No, it's three, three.

Me and Hank have three.

Big hat Zach, two.

Max, one.

PFT, zero.

O- for four.

Oh, for four.

Not the way you want to start a season.

Oh, for four.

Yeah.

I don't think I've ever hit a total in the past two years.

So that's the first thing.

Every time we got the cereal,

yeah, Frank the Tank.

Early Fleming here.

Total.

Total's probably healthier for you.

Nutter Mutter fucking total.

That's why you wouldn't have hit it, Max.

Oh, God.

Okay.

Max?

Over in the Cowboys Bears.

Yeah, over.

I mean, it's over 50 and a half.

Zach.

Zach.

I would like to take the over 44 and a half in the Rams-Eagles game.

Oh, interesting.

I'm taking the under in that game.

Okay.

I'm going to take

the New York Jets plus seven.

It's a great pick.

Is it?

I will be taking the Rams plus three and a half against the Eagles.

And oh no,

Connor.

I will be taking.

Whoa.

I will be taking the

fields over here.

The Steelers, Patriots, over 44.5.

Ah,

he got you on that one.

He got you on that one.

I will be taking the under and the Steelers Patriots.

No, I can't do that.

I get another pick.

You can still take that, though.

I'll take Chargers minus two and a half.

I will take the under and the Raiders Commanders 44.5.

Ooh, I like that.

I'll take

the

Under and Giants Chiefs 45 and a half.

I'm going to go Monday night.

Okay.

Whoa.

I'm going to take the Lions plus 4.5.

Yeah.

I went there.

Hmm.

I would like to take in the Titans Colts game the Colts at minus 4.5.

Okay.

I would like to take the Chiefs minus 6.

Wow.

Bold.

All right, those are our picks.

Are we ready for

our Jerry?

I'm ready.

Jerry, Jerry, Jerry.

So we don't watch these.

PFT and I do not watch these beforehand when he sends it to us.

So we have no idea.

We're watching it for the first time with everyone else.

Here we go.

All right, here we go.

All right, memes, just put some like techno music on this, okay?

Whatever.

You don't have to pay for it.

Here we go.

I got one minute and here we go.

Yeah, hey, what's up?

Welcome to Fantasy Puck Boys.

Yeah, look at us.

Chest and buys every day.

Chest and buys.

Chest chest and buys um what are we doing week three zach eartz you gotta pick up zach eartz sick tight end um he's playing vegas their defense sucks zach eartz also that other tight end jawan johnson out of new orleans he's had like 16 points the last two weeks you gotta pick him up jawan johnson uh what else uh everybody else uh should drop caleb johnson he's the worst just like you let that ball drop and you should pick up najee harris uh out of los angeles um His eye is all better.

Fastest healing part of the party.

A lot of people don't know that.

What else we got?

Oh, this is really weird.

But you've got to stream Caleb Williams because the Dallas D sucks and also Mac Jones.

I did it under a minute.

Fuck you, big cat.

Fuck you.

That was good.

How's our fantasy team doing?

I think we're 2-0.

Wasn't that the point of...

Jerry just

has taken over the fantasy fuckboys.

Yeah, no, I love it, though.

But

I want to know what's going on with the fantasy.

I wish he was giving us a little update of the league.

Yeah, yeah, I can pull it up right now.

I'm pretty sure we're 2-0.

It's tough to tell because Jerry dominates the group chat regardless of if we win or if we lose.

It's not going to stop him from just dropping the most random shit in there.

Let's see.

Jerry's kids, 2-0, and we're in second place in the league right now.

So, yeah.

Jerry, he knows what he's doing.

And they upped the buy-in this year, too.

Jerry went out and got more permission from his wife to spend money, which was very nice of her to let him do that.

So yeah, 2-0.

Love it.

Love it.

Okay, let's see.

Yeah, is the eye actually the fastest healing part of the body?

I don't know.

It sounded right.

Yeah.

Sounded right to me.

All right, let's get to our interview with Fred Smoot.

Okay, before we get to Fred Smoot, Twisted Tea.

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So grab a tea.

It's game time.

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Okay, here he is.

Fred Smoot.

Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest.

He is our colleague, our friend.

It is Fred Smoot

in studio.

Fred?

Yeah.

It's great to see you.

Always good to see you, brother.

It's great to talk.

Should we, where do you want to start?

You want to start with Jaden Daniels?

Are you nervous about his knee?

Yeah, we can start there.

Let's go and get the elephant out the room.

Yep.

Anytime you got a franchise quarterback, because there's a chance he could be hurt, any fan base is feeling it.

Because it's this big if in the room.

It's this big cloud over there.

It's like if he doesn't play, luckily, luckily, it's 2025 and we went cloned him.

All right.

No, no, not only do we have a starring quarterback that's the number two pick and the ex-Heisman trophy winner and the ex-NFL rookie of the year, So is our number two quarterback.

They have the same DNA.

And the one thing we can say is when he had to play last year, Mariota, he came through and he showed up and he played.

So as much as I'm worried, I know we got a gatekeeper.

And when you got a gatekeeper, you got a chance.

I agree with that because Mariota against the Cowboys last year, Mariota against the Titans

last year

came in.

He was really, really good.

So in terms of backup quarterbacks, I like where we're at.

I am, I'll just say it, I'm nervous.

I'm nervous because every time I watch Jaden get hit, and I think he's led the league, I think he's been hit the most.

Yeah.

When you talk about running plays and tackles he's taken, sacks he's taken, and like, you know, quarterback pressures where he's ended up on the ground.

I think he's been the most hit quarterback in the NFL since he got into the league.

And every time I see it, I do.

You cringe.

I cringe.

I get flashbacks.

And when I see a sprained knee on a quarterback,

see him playing it at FedEx Field.

I don't, I don't like where that's taking me.

Listen.

I'm your counselor.

Help me.

You have, I'm diagnosing you now with RG3 PTSD.

Well, I call it post-traumatic sniper.

You have it.

All right.

And there's nothing wrong with that, but it's a cure for that.

And they're just let the football gods do what they may because you can't stop them anyway.

We're going to get hurt.

We're going to get injured.

You're playing the most physical game.

We just happen to have a quarterback that wildly makes a lot of plays with his legs.

So therefore, it's going to be some some times where he's gonna get hurt like we understand that but that's why your cake is layered and when you got a three layer layer cake you can eat the top layer before you eat the second one everything will be okay they taste the same okay like they taste mariota layer tastes just as good as the jaden layer for a short time uh-huh Josh Jacobs, I mean, Josh Johnson, if he needs to get in there, that's a good layer, too.

That's a good layer.

If that's a good layer, get to the Sam Hartman layer.

Now we're in trouble.

Now you're out of cake.

I like this.

The analogy is just like, hey, it's like eating cake.

Now you feel better.

Yeah, I do.

I mean, it worked for Marie Antoinette.

I think that

it's going to be hopefully Mariota this weekend.

I don't think.

So you went, let's not rush this.

It's early in the year.

I don't want to rush it.

And Jaden's going to want to play.

Yes, he does.

Dan Quinn has said I need to see him practicing with the team fully in order for him to play with the team.

I would feel more comfortable, and it's not like I'm underestimating the Raiders.

I think that the Raiders, they did look bad on Monday Monday Night Football.

They looked good week one,

and they've got, you know, they pay those guys to play football too in Las Vegas.

And I think that if we want to keep him away from Max Crosby for a week, let him heal up to the point.

I don't know, it's probably a grade one sprain on his knee.

We don't know.

There you go guessing.

Yeah.

Pa father, don't you do that.

What you need to do is take what you do know.

Because we don't know anything.

They didn't say it was a bruise.

They didn't say it was a sprain.

They didn't say it was anything.

Because I know what play had happened.

The play that he was running away from Parsons.

And when he turned up the field, he looked and then the guy cut him low.

So that could be anything.

All right.

But what I'm saying is, I'm with you on not rushing him.

But if he has the ability to play, why not play?

Because one thing I know about Coach Quinn, if he can't protect himself, Coach ain't putting him out there.

So that's the big thing.

This is a franchise quarterback.

This is not a novelty.

Like, this is not, let's throw Spencer Rattle out there.

Let's survive till we get Archie Mann and and look the same.

No, we're not doing that.

Like, this is, we got a franchise quarterback.

We know how to take care of him.

Okay.

All right.

Well, if he plays on Sunday, I'm going to be excited to watch him play.

I'm also going to be on edge.

You're going to be on edge the whole time.

You know damn well that field, the FedEx field, is not what it used to be.

It's got a body count.

No, no, this is what I can say.

New ownership.

They have reinforced, redone that field.

We got one of the best grass fields in the league right now.

So we can't, just because our girl used to treat us like this, she's treating us better now.

Well, no, it's a new girl.

No, no, we went to counseling.

All right, we went to counseling.

She took heed to what they said, and now she's actually cooking food.

Now she's actually looking out to you, boy.

As long as change happening, I'm never going to knock that change and look back in the past and say, this is how it used to be.

Okay.

We've all changed.

Yeah, we've changed.

We've become better people.

Yes, we did.

And so we're in a happier place right now.

Okay, I'm going to take that to heart and from your mouth to God's ears.

I hope that.

I hope you're right.

I hope it happens, man, because we lost a lot of guys the other day.

We lost Echola.

We lost Dietrich Wise.

But we signed Preston Smith.

We moved Chris Rodriguez up.

So we got some things in motion.

Gotcha.

Fred, I got a question for you about defense.

I was watching Monday Night Football and I did, I watched till the very end.

I know it was late on the East Coast of the second game, the Chargers and the Raiders.

And I walked away from that game thinking that we should be talking more about Derwin James.

First of all, where have you been the last four years?

I love watching him play.

I do.

But the way that he was playing, I feel like he should be in that conversation for defensive player of the year.

Yes, most definitely.

He has that type of caliber.

He can cover to the T.

He's an A-plus in coverage.

He's an A-plus in physicality.

He loves to play the run.

He's an A-plus in intensity.

He's an A-plus in leadership.

He just never had a coach.

to help him lead the team to where they need to be at.

Now he has the coach that matches everything that he's about.

Darwin James, now that they'll start to play playoff games, now that they'll start to play more Monday night games, more premiere games, people will get more love to Darwin James because he's an East Coast guy, a southern guy.

We're from Florida State, but sometimes you can get caught in purgatory over there in the West and everybody forget about you.

And there's something about a safety like that that can just wreck a game.

That can wreck a game.

It's so fun to watch.

Because it ain't too many of them.

No.

We usually have four or five of them, maybe six a year that can change a game.

Not so much this year, all right?

But he is the one.

He is legitly the one.

And now he's going to have a little bit more on his plate with Khalil Mack coming up miss.

Yeah, yep, yeah.

All right, so we're two weeks into the season.

I wanted to ask you this.

0-2 feels like death over, bro.

It feels like death.

Death.

You've been on an 0-2 team before.

What's the vibe?

My rookie year, Morty Schottheim, when we started off with 0-6.

0-5?

0-6?

Something like that, yeah.

I was like, I'm never going going to win a game in my life.

Yeah, it does it feel like that?

It feels like that.

It feels like you're lost.

Your locker room is lost.

Your fan base is like question marks, like

WF tick.

They're like, what is going on?

But you have to just get the first one.

That's the thing about it.

Put four quarters together and just get the first one.

We don't care a hair to hot water.

We don't care if the score 3-0.

Get the first win.

Get it under your belt so you don't have to think about that no more.

And it's a lot of franchises, a lot of fan bases waking up this Sunday coming up.

Like, if we lose this game, it's over with.

But I asked you, El Capitan, what's the difference in 0-2 and 0-3?

0-3 does feel way worse.

I don't know.

One-2.

They the same thing.

I know, but listen, like, you know, it's just, you go through the whole offseason, you go through training camp, and you're like, all right, this year, let's get out on the right foot.

Promise.

0-2, it just feels, and it's, I know it's stupid to say this because it is a long season.

There's going to be a weird shit that happens.

Like, even when you look at the schedule, the one thing we always get excited in the spring because we look at the schedule and win losses.

And we don't know nothing.

Joe Burrow's out now.

Change the battle.

Everything else on their schedule thought, oh, that's going to be a tough game.

Maybe it's not as tough.

Yes.

Do you think, though, like, is there, like, how early is too early for like a players-only meeting?

I saw the Dolphins did that after week one.

Once they did it after week one.

First of all, they should have did a players-only meeting this summer.

Yeah.

That's when they should should have been doing the players.

Like, because you could tell that that apple was rotting time it hit the ground.

Yeah.

Like,

it ain't like, think about it.

Your quarterback tour just admitted, I'm half of another man.

He did.

He said that.

He was like, hey, hey, you 6'5?

I'm 5'10.

You can't.

You can make all the throws.

I can't.

You can run.

I crawl.

It was like.

Did you just bow down to this dude?

Yeah.

Like, then you got Mac McDaniels gets up there, loses everybody with what he's saying.

Then you got Tyreek Hill, and then you got this going on.

It just feels like that house is just falling apart.

So if you're a Miami McDolphins fans, we're going to pray for you right now, not laugh at you.

We're going to pray for you because it's bad there right now.

But it's a couple of more teams out here that feel like we got our locker room in order, and we still 0-2.

But that's the business of football right now.

Nobody in America thought the Kansas City Chiefs, Andy Reid and Petrum Mahomes, the dynasty was going to be 0-2.

You know how much money I could have won in Vegas if I would have put that down?

Kansas City, 0-2.

Well, I mean, if you're talking about Mike McDaniel, I think he was right about something that he said when he said to win games, you have to win the game and not lose the game.

And that is how you lose the game.

Well, why is he coaching?

Well, he's not.

First, you have to not lose if you want to win.

Well, first of all, you have to make your playbook grow and mature if you don't want to lose.

You can't be running the same plays that you were running three years ago.

Two years ago, three years ago, they had the most explosive offense in football.

Great running game, too, yeah.

Great running game, and they went vertical.

They're not going vertical, and they do not run the ball.

They're running the same plays because they're stagnant.

That means we've studied them, we know them, we know what motion you're going to do.

Are you going to layer on your playbook?

Are you going to add to your playbook?

Are you just thinking running the same thing?

Because that's what they're doing right now.

They're running the same tired plays, and they're not working.

When a team is struggling like the Dolphins have, and this is going to come out on Friday, so I mean, maybe the Dolphins shocked the world and they beat the Bills on Thursday.

We don't know yet.

But if you're in a team situation that's like that, where it feels like your coach is pre-fired, like everybody knows that he's on the hot seat out there.

I've had that situation.

What happens differently between the players?

You go into survival mode.

Everybody in the building goes into survival mode, regardless of this being truly the most team-oriented sports game in the world.

This is the most team.

We're still independent contractors.

And when you know it's a chance that your coach is finna take a nosedive, it's every man for himself.

It's like jumping overboard.

They like, let the kids and the children go first.

I got to go too.

Like, so it's one of the things, like, I can't put no bad film out there.

Because I don't even know who my next coach is going to be.

Right.

I can't.

Like, so people go into survival mode, and that's actually pushes you down that rabbit hole even more of losing.

Because now you ain't playing as a group no more.

Everybody just playing to survive another year.

Yeah.

You were and still are a great shit talker.

Yeah.

Love hearing you talk shit.

I'd say CeeDee Deuce is probably up there for the most prolific current shit talker in the NFL record.

Cee De Lamb.

That's one of your favorites?

Well, CeeDee Deuce, C.J.

Witcher.

Wis Johnson.

You know what?

He's more.

He's more vindictive than I was.

Meaner?

Yeah, I was more of a laugher while talking trash.

Me and Chad, more of a cheerful, happy trash talkers.

He's more demeaning in his trash trash talk.

And there was a moment in the Monday Night Football game against the Bucs where he said something to Baker and seemed to wake Baker up by talking shit to him.

If I love any quarterback, because Phillip River used to be very much like Baker.

Baker Baker, the touchdown maker, if you throw turds at him, he'll throw turds back.

And I love that about him.

He has an edge to him.

And he's always been better as underdog Baker.

Not overdog Baker.

Underdog Baker is a dude.

He a dude that I take to a back alley with me.

He a dude that I take the hooters.

Let's have some drinks, Baker.

Because that's who he is.

And yeah, he did push a button with Baker.

And when you do that with a quarterback like that, that the team kind of the poster, the emotion is from him, that's what happens.

Were there any guys that you would not talk shit to because you knew that they would be unlikely?

A switch would happen.

Yeah, a switch would happen.

I used to itch at Jerome Bettis sometime.

And then he ran me over one play and he wouldn't let me hit the ground.

You know how, like, he's running me over, so I'm just trying to get to the ground as soon as possible.

And he's lifting me back up, running me over again and again.

And I like, I'm like, why did I even talk to this dude?

And then I'm trying to tackle him.

And his body's so bad that I can't, it's nothing I can grab on to.

I'm trying to grab his back, but his back's everywhere.

I'm trying to like, I didn't know what to do.

Like, I have never felt so helpless in my life.

Yeah.

Fred, I think I know the answer answer to this, but I just want to hear you talk about it.

What's your favorite part about the fall?

Is it football or pumpkin spice drinks?

Now you know, I got a vendetta against everything pumpkin.

I know you do.

Everything.

Everything pumps.

Everything pumpkin.

All right, let me ask you something.

I know

you said, honey, I'm going to the grocery store.

Do you need anything?

Mm-hmm.

How many times have your wife say, you know what?

Since you're out,

bring me back pumpkin.

Pumpkin.

She's never said that because the number one rule we talk as children is don't play with your food.

Yeah.

Don't play with your food.

But a pumpkin.

They give you a pumpkin.

First thing you do is carve a face in it.

Not eat it.

Not make up, not none of that.

You carve a face in it, you set it on the front porch.

That's it.

November come, you do it again.

So for two months, pumpkins get to dominate.

But we act like we actually like pumpkin pie.

I like pumpkin pie.

You don't like pumpkin pie?

Ain't no such thing as pumpkin pie.

What does that mean?

There's no such thing.

Sweet potato pie.

It's great.

Yeah.

All right.

So now pumpkin has one dish that it's made for.

So you tell me you're going to take all that water, all that land, grow all these pumpkins to make pumpkin pie.

Like, it's so bad in the animal world, the only person that eats pumpkin, the only animal is the hippopotamus.

That's not true.

What else?

Squirrels.

Squirrels eat pumpkin.

I put two pumpkins out of my porch last year.

Within like

three days, there's a perfect circle hole in each pumpkin and the squirrels burrowed in ate the squirrels got fat as shit hey pft let me tell you sue you know also the the squirrels in california are not carnivores right they're still going to eat each other are you serious they're still going to eat meat that's terrifying all right so yeah

they like it's only two things left we can eat that's pumpkin and each other all right no it's the worst thing like i'm gonna tell you what really does it for me at this time of year when i got to see it everywhere yeah when i go get my coffee yeah i got pumpkin latte like well why you ain't got it the other months?

Because we don't want it.

All right.

I walk anywhere.

I got pumpkin fragrance.

Why I want to walk around smelling like a pumpkin?

Why do I want my house smelling like a pump?

Like, I'm going to bite my boys up.

Come on, man.

Y'all smell all that pumpkin in here.

Nobody, like, nobody does that.

There's nothing cool about pumpkin.

But nobody would say it.

Because people, Americans are scared to say something

that we know the truth of.

And the truth of, we don't like pumpkins.

We don't like to do a lot of stuff that we're just forced to do as human beings.

But we don't step up and say it.

Like I had to tell somebody, you know, you don't like that pumpkin.

You know, you don't like it.

You're just trying to follow along.

You're following?

Yeah.

You're being seasonal.

Enough pumpkin.

No,

I want it through.

Yeah.

I don't want it grow on American soil anymore.

Like, don't waste the water.

Don't waste the soil.

No, we could be growing something that we actually like to eat.

Yeah,

I like sweet potato pie a lot.

I do enjoy pumpkin pie, but you're right.

I don't, you don't put pumpkin in any other dish.

And it's so basically it makes it useless.

Yeah.

Hippopotamuses and squirrels.

Why are we following them?

That's what I'm telling you.

All I'm saying is, I talked to a deer the other day.

He said he don't eat like pumpkins.

Fred, I got another question for you about defensive backs.

Do you love it when there's like an overthrow by six or seven yards and the quarterback just

misses a guy and you get to celebrate in the dude's face.

And we was beat too.

And you were beat?

Yeah, put the seatbelt on him.

You know what?

That's called a defensive backs love kiss.

Okay.

That means we kissed by the football guys.

We didn't do everything right.

All right.

The receivers beat us.

But somewhere or another, that quarterback just lunched it.

And he lunched it 40 yards too far.

And you see us don't hesitate.

We talking trash like it was locked down coverage.

Because

to us,

when we fall short on them other ones,

we don't get that love.

No, you hear about it.

Yeah, thank you.

Think about this.

I can shut down Randy Mouse for four quarters.

If he beats me to win the game, I am trash.

I'm the worst cornerback to ever play the game.

Well, that's that love-hate relationship we have.

So when we get those DB's kisses and the football guy throwing a kiss at us, I kiss back.

You know what I'm saying?

That's what I do.

I kiss back and I blow that kiss up because you never know which one of those could save your career.

At least let you have play a couple more years.

On my sheet, that goes goes as a plus.

Yeah.

Not as a minus.

And people forget about it after like two plays.

You forget entirely that you got beat.

But they'll never forget that you let Steve Smith catch that comeback ride on you.

And I'm like, come on, dude.

Have you tried the checking?

Right.

I get it.

It makes sense.

Showing love back to people that showed love to you.

Yeah, yeah.

And the football guys will shine on you sometimes.

That's the thing about sports.

Any given day could be your day.

And that's what you got to feel, especially in the NFL, because every day won't be your day.

But if I'm checking Plex today and I know I got to check Plex five weeks ago, I mean five weeks from now, I know I need to get out here.

I need to start making these plays and I need to start making them early because everyone that he makes on me counts against me.

We'll get back to Fred Smoot in a second.

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And now, here is more.

Fred Smoot.

Okay, so would you, if you were playing in today's day and age, would you be a seatbelt guy?

Would you do the seatbelt celebration?

No, I'd be more about the bow and arrow.

The bow and arrow?

The bow and arrow, not really a seatbelt, because

I don't want the receiver to feel safe.

Right.

Yeah, that's true.

That's a good point.

You know what I'm saying?

So maybe I would have did something like a jail cell where I would have just locked the jail cell up on it or something and put a tray of food in there.

Like, I would have did something else.

Yeah.

Like, you know what?

And I'm trying, and they'll just tell you how my focus is.

I'm looking over Big Kat's shoulder.

And when we were just talking, all I could see was Mike Dickers,

monster sausage, and it just threw me off.

Monster sausage.

Yeah, it just threw me off.

It just threw me off.

Because if you were trying to plan a celebration, you'd have to also remember what celebration we're going to do in the moment.

I feel like you were an emotional guy.

You wouldn't always think about something that you had prepared.

No, no, you'll prepare stuff during the week.

Yeah.

And you'll say, all right, this is for the biggest play.

This is for a breakup because of this guy.

Maybe it's something that signals to him and only he can pick up on it.

Yeah.

Like,

like Chad Johnson.

Chad loved the river dance.

There was his thing.

He going to do something.

So my thing with him was I would always do something like Flavor Flay with him where I would start dancing.

I would.

Take my pants off, like fake my pants off.

So it's about the player who you're going against, too.

Like some guys are quiet.

Checking a Reggie Wayne for four quarters.

He's just going to keep beating you.

He ain't going to dance.

He ain't going to do nothing.

He's just going to keep laying it on you.

And

that silence can get deafening.

It could hurt you.

What about if you had a celebration plan?

Because this happens a lot.

And let's say you got one for a pick, right?

You get an interception.

Here's what I'm going to do.

And then all of a sudden, all your teammates come over to you right after the interception.

And you can't do it.

And you can't just, and you're telling them, like, hey, get away.

I've got to go.

No, no, no.

They know it.

When you make the play and you do this,

everybody just stops.

Because they know he got something planned.

Yeah.

Let him go.

Yeah.

So this is how you tell Lim, stop.

Give me a second.

I'm I'm going to go straight Cam Bynum on him.

All right.

That's what you're going to do.

Right now, he's the best in the game.

Yeah.

Safety for the Colts.

That used to be the safety for the Vikings last year.

He has the best celebrations in football right now.

Did yeah.

Against the Broncos.

All right.

We've had this discussion on the podcast.

Is it unfair for you, a Commanders fan, to be thinking Soupy this year?

No, no, we're thinking Super Bowl.

It's been generations since we could think Super Bowl.

And just to be in that window to think Super Bowl is a privilege.

Congratulations to the team, by the way.

We're moving back to the nation's capital.

Very excited about that.

It has been announced.

We will have the $3 billion play pen put into the nation's capital.

Will it be a dome or outdoor?

It will be enclosed.

Are you a proponent of that?

Because it feels like we're on the way to just having every single stadium.

I think now.

Because these are billionaires that like to make money.

And when football season is not going around, they still want to generate money from these stadiums.

And And the only way to do it is to control Mother Nature.

Yeah.

I know, it's just sad because, like, the Bears are going to get a new stadium.

It's going to be indoors.

It just, it feels like it is.

In 10, 15 years from now, we're going to look back and be like, all artificial turf.

Shit, no one plays outdoors.

Buffalo, they're still going to play outdoors, which I appreciate.

Is the one in D.C., is it going to have a retractable roof?

And there go the theme.

Retractable roofs cost.

a half a billion to a billion dollars.

How many times are you going to actually open it?

Like, like, think about it.

I'd open it all the time if I was the owner.

You could watch it open.

Think about Atlanta Falcons.

How many times have they opened that roof?

That little asshole they have up there.

Yeah, I'm talking about a navel.

They got a navel up there.

Like, what are you doing?

Yeah.

Like, so, I just think money-wise, it's not worth it.

Now, I think what we're going to have is a glass house where it's going to look more outdoorsy than it really is.

Yeah, yeah.

So, you get the illusion that you're that you're still outdoors.

What I'm really excited about with the new stadium is destroying the old stadium.

Oh, they're already taking it down.

Yeah, but are they going to blow it up?

No, they can't.

It's too, it's in the neighborhood.

They had to take it down piece by piece.

So they're not going to detonate it.

They cannot detonate it.

See, I missed that.

I missed when a team would move on from the old stadium and there would be a guy they'd bring, because I wanted to be the guy that pressed the button

to FedEx Field to blow that fucking thing up and remove it from the field.

Don't worry about it.

FedEx Field ain't going nowhere.

We're going to turn that into an indoor beach and we're going to keep that thing rocking.

Okay, yeah.

That'll be great.

All right, so you're thinking soupy, though, even though the Packers obviously looks really good.

Man, the Packers are scary.

The Philadelphia Eagles are scary.

And because we played the Eagles two to three times a year, they make me feel comfortable playing the Packers of the world.

Like, I always told, I told people the other day, they were like, how you feel about this loss?

I say, I'm fine.

Because if I got to play a team multiple times, I'd rather lose to them the first time.

We lost to the Packers the first time.

I'd rather lose to them early than late.

So I'm fine with that.

I already know we're being tested by the best.

So we're fine.

I'm getting the questions I need answered.

The question is, how healthy are we going to be?

How healthy are they going to be?

And who quarterback is going to be hot at the time?

Hopefully, our quarterback is hot at the time because we started off kind of slow right now.

So, I'm not scared of

Green Bay, though, because we took their best shot, and that score was not what it looked.

It was worse.

It was worse.

No, no, the score was what?

20 to what?

I thought that we were lucky to be in the game at the end.

I don't believe in luck.

Either you're in the game or you're not.

Okay.

You just traveled on a short week where you literally had 48 hours of practice.

You traveled.

You played this team at their home and you left out of there and you lost by what, 10?

Oh, yeah, I can take that.

Well, I mean, if you're going, I hate that you turned me into the guy that's like pushing back against the commanders, but I said.

No, no, speaking.

The key points you made, how do you play against those good teams?

I don't think we played very well against, I thought that the Packers were very clearly a much better team than we were.

I don't think it was close.

And then, two, health-wise, how did we get out of that game?

Well, we lost Eckler.

We lost Wise.

They lost Jalen Reed.

They lost guys.

And our quarterback might be out this year, like, or for the next week.

Yeah.

I don't think that we had a good showing at all in Green Bay.

Hey, we went up there and it was built to ass.

All right.

But you know, as a child, when your daddy catches you coming out of that bathroom, catch you just right because you did something wrong.

You know, you can put that hand right there to stop that butt whooping a little bit.

So we took a little off of it yes they thrashed us i they took advantage of the situation they should have done it it wasn't jordan love's best game it wasn't that offensive uh best game they got one of the coldest defenses in the league right now i want to see it travel though I want to see that defense travel and play on the road.

It's easily when you invite me to your house and you beat me up, that's fine.

What's going to happen later then?

That's the question.

And they're not going to be at their healthiest, too.

Like, we all going to lose somebody.

Yep.

What about the Rams?

Are the Rams in that confo?

I like the Rams and they always gonna be as long as they got Matthew Stafford, they're gonna be in that window.

Then you know the added Devontae Adams to that with their defense and Williams and their running game, they got a chance.

That's what I'm saying.

Everybody looks at the Rams as this subtle threat, not this immense threat.

Like all of a sudden the Packers are the immense threat.

But guess what?

People are not even saying the Super Bowl champions are the immense threat.

They are.

Philadelphia Eagles are the apex predator threat.

Yeah, I think it's because the Rams don't really blow people out.

No, they don't.

No, no, they don't.

You never see that from the Rams.

No, but it's always like relatively close.

They don't push that issue.

Once they get a clear path to victory,

they take their foot off the brake and they chill.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

So any teams that have like super impressed you through two weeks?

I know it's still early, but are there any teams you're like, oh, wow, look at that.

I told you I took that shrapnel for them Coach fans for calling Daniel Jones the most regular name in America, which it is.

So now he officially goes by Indiana Jones.

I'm telling you this.

Indiana Jones and that offense hasn't punted the ball yet.

Jonathan Taylor is running like it's two, three years ago.

Those wide receivers, tight end group, they're proven to not really have a clear-cut weakness right now.

So I can say the Colts have really jumped off the screen.

Like, even if they had lost the game, I'd still be like, that's a good football team.

That's a legit, good football team.

So the Colts are there.

And I just can't stop marveling about how good the Ravens make me feel, even though they didn't lost the game.

It's something

either feels like it's Lamar's time.

Nobody can stop Derrick Henry.

Their defense is turning the corner.

It's layer cake on layer cake when it comes to them.

Let me ask you a question about that because I'm a big believer.

Obviously, the Ravens, week one, giving up 41 points they were supposed to win a game yeah they were but from a defensive uh perspective playing in the league like i do think that one or two times even the good defenses one or two times a year there will be one of those games that just gets out of control where it's like that's not what they are but that's what that game was is that fair that's so fair big cat and i intended it to be a fart it became a shard

you know what i'm saying like it was innocent at first yeah until it wasn't and it's just game flow it just everything goes through.

It happens

because that's the one thing about defense.

It's not guaranteed.

Yeah.

Just because you was good against them, that don't make you good against them.

And it's one of them things where it has an Ebbett flow to it.

And it happens when it happens.

And that's why people start to play better defense as the year go on compared to earlier in the year.

So I do think that that Ravens defense, especially with Hamilton, Higgins, all those guys, they get Jazir Alexander back.

Like, yeah, they are to me the team to beat in the AFC right now.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, so who else are the AFC?

Bills, obviously a threat.

Are the Chiefs dead?

No, never.

If you got Andrew Reed, you got Patrick Mahomes.

Actually, to me,

they are a bigger threat.

Okay.

Because they are the threat that everybody says, you know what?

They're riding them off.

They're a hurt animal?

They're hurting deer.

They're hurting deer in the road.

We ain't going to let them make it where I'm from.

Put them in the trunk.

We're going to make sure we're going to get some venison.

That's what it is.

Now, with the Giants beat them though if they lose the giants something i'm still not worried i'm i'm i i'm just telling you as a guy that played a decade in a division with andy reed never worried about andy reed just

like i'm telling you we're just getting woe out by this dynasty yeah like this dynasty has been going so long it it's time for them to push the reset button on the dynasty like they got a lot of old pieces that they used to winning with that they need to upgrade into new talent new faster talent new different talent like they just all they they need to do.

They need to do what New England did.

Like, New England got to a point where we were winning with running game and defense, but now this Tom's dynasty.

So now we need to be more offensively explosive and less defensive.

And that's what I think Kansas City is going to have to do.

They're going to have to rewrite their DNA.

Yeah.

What about the Broncos?

I know going into the season, everybody was talking about the Broncos defense and how that's a defense that can carry you to a championship.

They was the darlings.

They were the darlings.

And then,

you know, last week against the the Colts, they didn't look good on defense at all.

They turned the ball over a little bit too, but they didn't look good on defense.

Should we be concerned about the Broncos' defense, which should have been the strength of their team?

The Broncos right now, a good analogy for this is

a beauty queen.

Okay.

With a dead tooth in her mouth.

Oh.

All right.

Who's the dead tooth?

The Broncos are the dead tooth.

The Broncos are this beautiful.

This beautiful girl, but you haven't talked to her yet.

You walk up to her, you sit down,

she's looking at you, then you start to talk to her, and you're like, Yeah, I see why now.

That dead tooth in your mouth had just killed everything I felt before I got here.

Because the real part, I got to see you from within.

They got growing to do, just like us.

Like, people want to crown us, crown the commanders, crown the Broncos, two rookie quarterbacks, outplayed their status.

Now the team is better.

They got two great coaches, and now we're starting slow.

And now people want to shy away from us.

That ain't the way it go.

Get a team some chance to mature.

If your quarterback is only 20 games old, you still got some maturing to do.

All right, Fred, I got one last question for you.

Always great having you on.

Great.

Are you enjoying working with me?

Man, I enjoy working with

you.

This is my type of place.

I like loose.

I like fun.

I like intelligent.

I like real people.

Yeah.

It's so fun having you here.

Real people plays.

All right.

So my last question, roback question.

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Fred, what's your middle name?

Not going to tell you that, Catfish.

I told you.

He told me before we started taping that he hated his middle name so much he changed it to Dwayne, which is an awesome middle name.

I had always known you as Fred Dwayne Smoot.

That ain't my name.

Yeah.

Lee?

Think about me as an idiot.

Lee?

No.

Think about me as an idiot.

I remember Wikipedia gave me a call my senior year at Mississippi State.

They was like, what information do you want on your Wikipedia?

Wait, Wikipedia called you?

Yeah, this is the start of Wikipedia, you remember?

It's like 2001.

It's the start.

And they like, I was like, okay.

And I was like, well, I'm not going to put my real millennium name down there.

I was like, well, what should I give myself?

And I was like,

Dwayne.

Good choice.

So that started it off.

And then everybody thought that was my millennium name.

Well, I say I did my job then because I wanted to make sure my identity could never get stolen.

Okay.

So the best way to do that is to flood it with not true information.

That's very smart.

And so nobody ever second-guessed it.

Let me see your driver's license.

I won't tell anybody.

I'm not going to listen.

You know what?

Is it James?

Come here.

Because you are.

I'm in the trust.

So what's the first letter?

D.

Of your God's given name?

Yes.

Of my God-given millennium.

Danielle.

I'm never going to say.

Danielle.

Now,

you can never repeat this.

Yeah.

Because you probably ain't going to be able to repeat it.

I'm not going to say it.

Is it bad?

Yeah.

PFD.

It's bad.

Junior Gray.

I get it.

I get it.

Junior Gray.

I'll never say it.

I'll never say it.

I'll never say it.

But yes,

I think you were correct to tell Wikipedia

Dwayne.

Yeah, yeah, Dwayne.

And I found it funny.

Yeah, yeah.

I found it real funny.

Dwayne Smoot.

Yeah.

Do you like working with Gruden?

I love it.

I love, like, I've been around Gruden so much.

Plus, I've been with his brother Jay

back in Washington.

Talk to his nephew, Jack, all the time.

So I've basically been

part of the Gruden family for a while.

So me and Coach already had a relationship.

So it was easy with me and him.

That's why it's seamless with me and him working together yeah it was great that last week on thursday i walked down to the kitchen area and it was just you and coach just talking ball yeah and i just stood there and i just watched i was how lucky am i right now to be listening to these guys just arguing about football just back and forth it was awesome just back and guess what that's all the grooms jay is the same way jay's son jack is the same way like jack would call me at two in the eight 2 a.m in the morning what are you doing fred

i'm sleep what are you thinking

i gotta ask you about this cornerback coming out of Texas there.

That's who they are.

It's football or nothing.

I love that.

That's great.

Well, Fred, you're the best.

Love having you on.

We'll do it again in a couple weeks.

And thanks so much.

And hopefully Jaden Daniels gets healthy.

Hey, man, let's make it happen.

Yep.

PFT.

Yep.

To the grave.

To the grave.

I'm not saying anybody.

Fred Smoot was brought to you by Chevy.

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Firefest is going to be brought to you by Morgan and Morgan.

We all know that life comes at you fast.

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Okay, boys, Fire Fest of the week.

Wrap it up.

Henry.

Our guy.

Hank.

Hank.

Hank.

Hank.

You got this.

Hank.

You got this.

Hank.

Hank.

Hankly.

I don't even know what you got, but you got this.

Hank.

Hank.

Hank.

Hank.

Hank.

I noticed memes didn't chant.

Hank.

I was coughing.

He was coughing.

Yeah, Fire Fest, it's kind of a weird one because it's kind of like a Fire Luck Fest, but kind of a Fire Fest.

What's a Fire Luck Fest?

I

like my car usually automatically locks when I get out of it

if I have my key in my pocket.

Wait, Fire Luck Fest or Lock Fest?

Both.

Luck.

Lock Luck.

Lock Irish.

Kind of not real.

Luck Lock?

Lock of the Irish.

Lock Luck.

Harry Lucky.

I leave work the other day.

I get in my car.

I notice like.

What time?

I don't know, five o'clock, five thirty.

Yeah, I guess.

uh

and I noticed that everything out of my glove compartment has been ripped out and I have I have my golf clubs I have a bunch of stuff in my car in the back of my car

it clearly had someone who'd gone through my car like the door was not locked it was unlocked someone had went through it and they had pulled everything out of my glove box but like they didn't seem to take anything and then I realized yesterday that they took they just took my gym bag what the fuck what'd you have in there just Just gym clothes.

Oh, so just like your sweaty underwear?

Yeah, it was just sweaty, like a few shirts, but I had like my golf clubs, golf bag, shoes, a bunch of stuff in there.

Security tapes?

I did not because

I didn't realize that it was gone for like four days after the fact.

Like I was just like, oh.

Someone's trying to get you so you don't work out.

I guess, yeah, it was, but I feel lucky that that's all they took.

This is unfair because if Max or I had this story, people would be like, oh, someone stole your gym stuff.

Keep continuing.

So it's the word, the world's dumbest thief.

I guess.

Yeah,

I don't know if they were just trying, like, they maybe were just trying to do it quick, so it was like in the middle of the day, and they just tried to hope that there was like a bunch of cash in there.

I'm not really sure.

And there's no shoes, you didn't have any cash.

I had some, I had gym shoes, but I've had them for a little while.

You know, I lost probably

two pairs of shorts.

A few pairs of boxers, like four shirts.

What you get for working out?

For having such a good spot.

But yeah, I feel lucky, but it's a little bit, it's a little bit eerie being like, oh, that's kind of weird.

That, like, it could have been any of us after they also, in my glove box, there was a pair of sunglasses, which, again, they didn't take that I thought I had lost like a year ago.

That's weird.

Oh, so you, you, I kind of found, yeah, I gained a pair of sunglasses.

It's kind of a good trade.

Yeah.

You can always get more shorts.

We get free shorts all the time.

Yeah.

So yeah, just a little, little bizarre.

You've got to go through that footage.

Yeah, I don't know if it goes back that far.

I'm sure we can.

Last week, yeah.

We can get it.

We can get it.

We'll get this perp.

What if it was just, what if it was Max trying to get more in shape?

Yeah, like spider.

Yeah.

It's the perfect crime.

Who stole my gym accessories?

It was Max?

Nah, I would steal.

All right, PFT.

Mine's also car-related.

You might recall a couple years ago, got a new car.

Hank put up a pole in the parking lot and didn't mark it fairly, and I accidentally drove my car into it.

Couldn't have seen it coming.

Didn't see it.

Someone had tried to take off some of the yellow reflective paint that was initially put on there.

Right.

Mystery person is unnamed.

But I was taken out to the car wash last weekend.

And as I went through the car wash, getting it cleaned off, because it was just in that, in the tow impound lot where I recovered it from last week, it was covered in dust and had stickers all over it.

So I had to pull it into the car wash, get it cleaned off.

Then I said, you know what?

Let's take care of the inside.

Let's vacuum out the interior a little bit.

So, as I pulled into this parking spot and started a vacuum, a guy pulled up in the spot next to me and he got out of his car.

And he's like, Hey, man, that's a beautiful car you have.

And I was like, Why does this guy think my car is not beautiful?

It's just like a pretty normal car.

Right.

I'm not talking about the El Camino.

If it's El Camino, I'll be like, right on, brother.

But this guy was like, Yeah, you have a beautiful car.

I love that car.

And I was like, Thank you.

He's like, I work with those cars all the time.

I resell them all the time.

They're my favorite car in the entire world.

I was thinking, this guy's laying on pretty thick about a pretty normal car.

What's his angle for me?

And so I told him, hey, I'm not going to sell it.

He's like, no, I'm not asking about selling it.

It's a perfect car, except it's got that dent in the side of it.

And I was like, yeah,

it does have that dent.

Hank.

Yeah.

My co-worker essentially assaulted my car.

Your boss.

My boss, all of our bosses, assaulted my car.

And he was like, I can get that out for you because I work in a body shop.

I was like, I'm not taking it to a body shop.

And he's like, no, I can do it right now because I've got all the tools with me.

My boss, he knows that I take the tools home sometimes, but I can do that.

They'll charge you $3,000 at the body shop.

I can do it right now for $200.

And I was like, what a deal.

What a deal.

What a great deal.

But he was being like super forceful.

He was like trying to push me into closing the deal right there.

And I was like, give me your card and I'll give you a call.

And if...

I want to get it repaired, they'll drive it to you and you can like pop it out.

It's whatever.

He's like, do do me a favor go sit in your car right now go sit in your car because i've got the stuff right here and i can pull it out as we sit here the only thing is your car might go backwards because i'm going to pull it really hard when i pull that thin out so i need you to put your foot on the brake as i pop this thing out and then i thought to myself you know what realistically i'm not going to take my car into a body shop it's been two years i haven't gotten it fixed yet i'm just not going to get it fixed but this guy this angel appeared before my very eyes and said he would fix it for the low price of 200 bucks.

And he's like, also, I see those scratches on the side.

Was that from your boss in that same poll?

I was like, yes, it is.

He's like, I got this epoxy that I can rub on it, and it'll fill in those scratches.

So I'll take care of the scratches, too.

All right.

So I get in my car.

I put my foot on the brake, hear a popping sound, and then I come out and it's got all the foam on it from all the epoxy.

He's like, you're going to be good.

Just when you get home, wait a couple hours and then wipe it down and get all that stuff, all the foam that I put on the side off.

And the scratches will be filled in.

You got to let it set for a little bit.

I was like, okay, cool.

He's like, it's 200 bucks.

I gave him more.

I gave him 250 bucks because I was like, what a great guy this dude is.

Just like saved me days of my life where I'd have to drive my car in, pick my car up, that whole thing.

And then I got home.

Later on, it was dark outside.

Went out, wiped it down.

And then I was thinking to myself on the couch.

That was a really weird interaction.

Yeah.

That was really, really strange because he had his girlfriend with him and he kept yelling stuff at his girlfriend.

And the guy did, it was, the red flags were up.

So I just looked up online

car dent repair scam.

And then it's like nine pages

of step by step exactly what this guy did to me.

And I like to consider myself to be pretty good at not getting scammed.

I like to think that my intent is up and it's tough to fool me.

This guy just absolutely took me to the cleaners.

I went back out to my car.

The dent's still there.

The scratches are all still there.

Nothing's better whatsoever.

And it's not, it's the $250, whatever.

It's not the end of the world.

It's a great deal.

It's a great deal.

It was a great deal at the time.

I couldn't say no.

It's more about me having to reckon with the fact that I got got.

Yeah, I was going to say, I don't know if you can say you're good at avoiding scams anymore.

I used to not be.

Yeah, because

as you were telling that story, I was just like, this doesn't feel right.

No, it didn't feel right at all.

And I'm such a, I'm an idiot for him being like, go go sit in your car and put your foot on the brake.

Like my car, it was in park.

Right.

Like it was going to roll away because this guy was so strong that it would just like break my parking gear.

So yeah, I got got.

My car is still dented.

It's still scratched.

And I'm never going to fix it.

And I'm not too.

Until I run in the next guy who offers me that same job.

But that guy will be for real.

That guy.

What I learned, the guy that I ran into on Saturday, that guy was not the official wallet inspector.

Yeah, so dent repair scams often involve unsolicited individuals individuals in parking lots offering quick, cheap dent fixes that end up causing more damage and leaving victims with costly repairs.

Key red flags include aggressive sales tax, check, a focus on cash-only payments, check.

Well, no, I did, I did Venmo.

Oh.

Promises of same-day repairs, check, an inability to provide a written contract or online presence, check, and claims that you should not remove a wax-like substance they apply to the vehicle, check.

Yep.

That's how he got me.

He's like,

you got to wait to take this thing off because otherwise the scratches won't be filled in.

So, was there a moment when you were taking it off where you're like, oh, this is fixed?

And then you're like, shit.

Yeah, no, even after I wiped it down, the next day, I was like, maybe he actually really did fix my car.

Maybe this guy wasn't a scammer.

Because at night, I waited a few hours and then it was Saturday night.

Then I wiped it down, but I couldn't see if it was gone yet.

Yeah.

So then I had to recheck the work.

And yeah, I was thinking, maybe, maybe this guy is actually the one legitimate version.

Damn.

So yeah, I got got.

That's fine.

It happens.

That's brutal.

I still have never replied to one of those texts that say, like, you owe money for a toll.

True.

Our boss did.

So at least there's that.

Yeah, our boss did.

All right, My Fire Fest.

We already talked about my golf game.

I got to get better.

Just a terrible experience being that bad amongst people who are good.

Apologies for...

Having a bad attitude, but I don't know how you can have a good attitude when you suck that bad and you're letting your teammates down.

Sucked.

Couldn't help at all.

Being a teammate and not being able to help at all, really bad feeling.

Imagine how bad it would be if you like played golf a lot and you expected more out of it.

True.

What did you expect was going to happen?

Not hitting the ball five feet multiple times.

My other Firefest is actually Zach's Firefest,

car-related.

Okay.

We got insurance for the new Vanny Woodhead, and

Zach got denied the insurance, so he will not be driving Vanny Woodhead.

You got denied?

It turns out.

Denied coverage?

Go ahead.

You don't have to wait on it.

Did they say why I was denied?

I think it was the time on this podcast and the YAC that you've said you've been in four different accidents.

That makes sense.

Yeah,

probably.

You've been in or caused?

A few of those,

I was in the car.

Yeah.

In one of them, you were in the car.

You were in the car for all of them.

Yeah, actually, yes.

I was in the car for all of them.

Not behind the wheel for all of them.

That does make a lot more sense.

Yeah.

That's not good.

No.

That's all right.

It's probably better that you don't drive it because you've been in four accidents.

Zach, I got a question.

Yes, sir.

You're driving to Bloomington tomorrow, right?

Yes, sir.

Are you driving?

I think we might split it up just because it's several hours.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

I did some research into the average amount of accidents that adults have, and it says like

three to four accidents.

Yeah, but that's what age?

You're 27, you've been in four?

Four, yeah.

I think that's like a lifetime thing.

But, oh, so I could, so I might have the age ranges wrong stuff.

Yeah, she might be done.

You can't, you're done.

You're not going to have any more accidents.

It has been quite a while.

That was a great oh.

Wait, so when was the last one?

Several years ago.

How many?

How old were you?

I was like five.

Between four to seven years ago, like a while ago.

So that's, so you got into four accidents in the first like six years of you driving.

I had a bad start, yeah.

Okay, have you uh, have you been driving a lot since?

I uh, yeah, I've had a car.

I stopped driving when I moved here, didn't bring a didn't bring a car with me, but before then, I was driving all the time.

It's like one of my favorite uh ways to spend like a Sunday, you just hop in the car, go for a cruise, go for a cruise.

The average is

one accident every 18 years of driving.

Okay, so so you that math, that's no good for you.

That's no good, that's no good.

So, you basically need to go accident-list for the next like 50 years to get back to the average.

I think I got that in me.

Are you a distracted driver?

Not a distracted driver.

Uh, one of the accidents I was distracted that that was so long ago.

Like, you live and learn.

I think accidents are like a healthy, you develop a healthy respect for the road when you get into an accident.

Like, a lot of people out there who don't get into crashes, they're texting and driving all the time, doing their makeup, all sorts of things, taking other people's life, like putting other people's lives at risk.

If you get an accident out the way early, preferably not on a highway, somewhere like a 35-45 mile-an-hour speed limit, you have a healthy respect for the road.

Yeah, and if you have four of those, then you really respect the road.

Also, too many accidents.

Also, Zach has been in accidents where I think, am I right?

Four times,

one of them you weren't driving, but all four times, or no, three out of four, you got hit.

My side got hit, yeah.

Every single time he's been hit.

The only time my side didn't get hit was when the the accident was my fault.

Yeah.

But every other time, he just, wherever Zach sits in the car, he gets hit.

Is everybody okay?

Light injuries, no ambulance.

No?

Well, not in our car.

There was this one time a woman did run a stop sign.

She had to go to the hospital.

Yeah.

But it was her fault.

It was her fault, yes.

But she had an older vehicle, like the front end squished up pretty good.

He got hit.

But we don't know.

We don't actually know what ended up happening with her.

They wouldn't tell me, no.

They said that was

pretty much none of my business.

Yeah.

But that was not your fault, to be clear.

No, that accident was not my fault at all.

I still felt horrible that she was hurt enough to have to go to the hospital, though.

Yeah.

All right.

Well,

yeah.

Good luck, Zach.

Thank you, PFT.

I'm going to try to continue the no accident streak.

Sorry, I let you down on the insurance pig at it.

No, I don't give a fuck.

Okay.

It's fine.

Okay.

We could try to drive any.

We might just have to try to get like a really hilariously cheap insurance company.

Yeah.

It's no big deal.

Your guy probably knows a guy.

Yeah.

No, he doesn't.

I did have that.

That guy doesn't know anyone.

That guy's a everyone he meets, he just scams.

What are you going to say?

I did have active car insurance until I moved here.

Yeah.

I guess maybe not van sized.

Yeah.

That makes sense.

Yeah.

Did Jacob got Jacob?

I think Jacob might be a good driver.

Jacob, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Jacob's Jacob's good.

Jacob's clear.

All right.

What's your fire fest?

My fire fest this week is over the last couple of days I've kind of developed

my wisdom one of of my wisdom teeth may be impacted.

I know I'm a little bit late in life for that.

And the first couple of days, I thought it was something I could shake off.

This is a debilitating situation.

You're going to have to get him out.

I think so.

I think so.

And you're also going to have to podcast right after you get him out for us.

Zach After Dentist?

Yeah.

Oh, on the.

I'll pick you up.

Okay.

And then we'll have you sit right there right after while you're still a little fucked up.

That's terrifying.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's actually been seven accidents.

He starts telling us.

It might just fix itself because in like 2016, right after I moved to New York, my wisdom teeth were all fucked up and I told the guys like, hey, I have to figure out a time where I can get my wisdom teeth out and we can still do the pod.

So I waited like a weekend and then it just got better.

And next time I went to the dentist, they were like, yeah, you need to get all four of yours out.

Still haven't done it yet.

Neither have I.

Knock on wood.

It's not fun.

No, I'm full pop right now.

I have them all still in.

This side was good.

Never had any issues.

This one, I thought I would just like shake it off.

Like, I don't have to actually go to the dentist.

Like, what are we doing?

Yeah.

And then now it's like turning my head the wrong way.

It's not good.

Every time I hit the steps, going on the steps is a nightmare for some reason.

You can't go on steps.

I can.

It just irritates it.

I don't know if it's the pressure or what.

What did people do before you were able to just get your teeth pulled out?

I think they pulled them.

Yeah.

Even if they were like under the skin, George Washington.

Just like slice into them.

You got all new teeth.

You guys should go together.

Also, Zach, can I get a via spin zone?

Yes, sir.

This is going to be huge for the weight loss.

It has been.

I can't eat or I haven't been able to eat or drink.

Right.

And when you get them out, you can't eat solids for like four or five days.

You know what you can eat?

It could be good for the scale.

Actually,

if you can't eat ice cream,

I think you can.

You can, but it's.

You can.

Oh, you can?

Oh, you're going to eat so much ice cream.

It's going to be awesome.

You just got to do sugar-free.

Zach, let me know when you're going to get yours out.

We might do a date.

You want to do man the dentist?

I got to get mine out at some point.

Two guys ate wisdom teeth?

Yeah.

Let's do it.

We could sell them.

Memes, do you have a Fire Fest?

I had a conversation with Memes off air.

Nah.

Nah.

It's regarding the upcoming NFL weekend, so I feel like we do have to cover it.

Yeah, oh, yeah.

We have to cover it.

No.

We were talking about the Jets.

A couple guys talked about the Jesus.

This is off Mike's stuff.

A couple guys talked about the Jets.

And Memes said,

if we lose to the Bucs.

No, if the Bucks.

No,

I'm going to tell it from the beginning.

Okay.

So we can't lose to the Bucs.

And we're like, memes, you're an underdog this weekend.

The Jets, it'd be great if they won.

They have a good chance at winning.

But

you shouldn't say, if we lose, this is nightmare.

He wants Aaron Glenn fired.

What?

Already.

Wait, so when we referenced that earlier, when you're like, some of the fan base and media,

it's you?

I'm talking about him.

No, you are.

Yes.

You're fan and media.

I was saying,

if the defense gets embarrassed by an all-backup offensive line.

He should probably be fine.

You said

if they score four touchdowns, if the Bucs score four touchdowns.

Yeah, another report came out that the left guard also didn't practice say.

Okay.

They might just not have an offensive line.

So as a defensive coach, you should be able to scheme something up that works in your favor.

In theory.

I agree.

In theory.

But to

want him fired, if you guys lose like 28 to 20,

and you want Aaron Glenn fired in week three of a rebuild.

As seven-point dogs.

As seven-point dogs.

If they get embarrassed.

What's the numbers three?

Three that you

can't lose by.

22.

33.

Yeah, I'd say all those.

28.

No, 28 would be fine.

I would say 28 to 3.

Okay.

3-3 would be fine.

That'd be funny if you guys fell behind 28-3 and then you never scored.

You're like, we got him.

Yeah, it's a must-compete game.

You want him fired.

Must compete.

Must compete.

Must compete.

I want to see a competitive football team against a team that has 2% of their offense.

Yeah, must compete.

Must compete.

All right.

3.

33.

22.

Damn it.

28.

We'll go two for Tarad.

I think I found the new hack.

If you're talking two memes when you say it, he's not going to be able to.

If he's thinking about the Jets.

Yeah.

It's like a dog with a treat.

If your Jets talk at the end of every show.

Yeah, you can't get that distracted by anything.

99.

19.

76.

Memes, what's your number?

Two.

Turan.

667.

667.

I know what that means.

Love you guys.