2 Important Questions & 7 Drafts // Emotional Turds [66]

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Hello and welcome to another episode of the Regulation Podcast.

This is episode 66.

My name is Jeff Ramsey with me, as always, Andrew Pantton, Gavin Free, Nick Schwartz, Eric Badour.

Hello, boys.

Hello.

All right, couple orders of business.

One, I have two questions that are very important that I ask you guys this week that keep getting pushed.

Also, we have about seven draft ideas we need to go over and make sure we're all on the same page about so we can schedule those.

And we should probably mention that

the Gerpler launch happened.

Yes.

And it was, I think, we can say a success.

Absolutely.

It was 10,000 in 12 hours.

Is that right?

Yeah.

Which means people had essentially a waking day to log in at their leisure and get a Gerpler or two.

What if next time 11,000?

What if next time 9,000?

Why?

No, too low.

Oh, I'm just kind of giving like, you know, six and one half dozen.

I'm kind of going just like the other way to see.

All right, I'll meet you guys in the middle of 10K.

All right.

Hey, I think that settled it.

No, I think we learned a lot, though.

We're definitely going to increase the Kuzler output when we make more of those.

We need to increase the combo patch deal when we do that.

We definitely need more patch shirts.

There's a lot of, we got a lot of really good, interesting information from the sale.

And I think we are getting really close to being dialed in on the amount of Gerplers.

People have asked in the comments if we were going to be re-releasing this Gerpler.

Like most Gerplers, no plans to do that.

We already began work on a new Gerpler that should be out later in the year, and it'll be different.

It'll be new and a different idea.

Most of all, from the merch drop, thank you so much to everybody who showed up and supported us.

Absolutely.

Appreciate it so much.

Continue to be blown away by your support.

Just happy that we also didn't frustrate you and annoy you by selling out too fast this time.

Especially everyone who made it for the stream for the actual drop.

Yeah, that was really cool.

2v2 mario party i love that's what a fun different way to play that game i love watching that as a member of the only undefeated 2v2 mario team i tend to agree with you

good old team g team g

classic team g baby

oh christ uh does anybody else have anything they want to talk about this week any orders of business well i think we need to get to your questions you said that they keep getting okay so let's go right into your questions and hopefully, these will inspire a little bit of conversation.

The first question I have, I thought about this the other

couple weeks ago.

What is your favorite color to drink?

And it can't be clear.

Because of Gavin.

Oh, I see.

I'm trying to think here.

Immediately, what comes to mind is

orange.

Okay.

I enjoy orange drinks generally.

What about, though, because I like apple drinks quite a bit.

I'm trying to weigh if I like orange more than apple drinks.

You ever get surprised by a drink?

Oh, all the time.

I feel like most drinks that look like piss are actually quite good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like pineapple looks like piss, but it tastes delicious.

Yeah, like apple juice often looks pretty pissy.

What color would you say coffee is?

Are we calling it brown?

Brown.

Okay, that's my answer.

I would say coffee, tea, and sodas all fall in the brown category.

Yeah, you get Coke, you get root beer.

Yeah.

I think if I can't pick clear, I'm going to say white.

What's white?

What's white?

Milk?

No, like maybe like an electrolyte drink of some sort.

Oh, like a white Gatorade.

Yeah, that's pretty good.

Yeah.

Like a glacial ice or something.

You get glacier ice and milk.

What a one-two.

I only use milk.

I never just go for a glass of milk, you know?

Sure.

I'm surprised.

I figure I expected.

I mean, I kind of had an idea that Gavin would immediately try to say clear and Eric would say brown, but I'm surprised red didn't come up.

That seems to be like the go-to for most people.

I've been polling people in my life, and almost everybody has said red.

Red can swing in a lot of different ways.

You're either getting cherry or like a strawberry, and there's a lot of variation in fake cherry.

Cherry's good, strawberry is good, watermelon's good, fruit punch is just a combination of those and is good.

I definitely don't ever pick up red and go, like, oh, what about blue blue raz?

Oh, blue, well, best.

Blue.

I haven't gone yet, but my answer is blue.

I think blue is my favorite color to drink.

Yeah.

There's just not a lot of blue drinks that immediately come to mind to me.

There's like three different blue Gatorades and Power Aids that I absolutely love.

Okay.

There's blue Raz.

Is there any high voltage?

There you go.

Is there any fruit that produces a naturally blue juice?

Oh.

Because because blue might be the most unnatural liquid color to drink i mean even though everything's dye anyway it's just like what's blue i feel like we talked about this have we talked about this in like a previous episode of like like an unlike what's like the most unnatural food color and i feel like blue is like the thing we landed on like a long time ago what what color would blueberries are like they're like purple

i feel like yeah

like a dark purple yeah kiwi is like murky white oh oh

i think so that's what and at least in my head you said Kiwi?

Yeah, Kiwi.

How would Kiwi not be green?

Is it green?

I feel like it's a very light green if it is green.

It's not like a bright green.

It's a very bright green.

Isn't Kiwi like the brightest green?

Kiwi's like, it's.

Yeah, what are you?

What are you?

No, no, no, no.

The juice, the juice.

If you squeeze the juice of a kiwi, I don't think it's bright green.

Well, we should find out.

Well, now we've got to start juicing shit and see if it matches.

We got to juice a fucking Kiwi now.

I don't.

I don't know.

You're telling me that's gonna make white juice.

I still don't understand.

I just oh,

I mean, that's

yeah, it's green.

As I said, that's how I pictured it in my mind, which is not, I'm not saying that was factual.

That's just how I envisioned it.

Yeah.

It's greener than it looks in my head.

Do you eat the hair on a kiwi?

I have.

I prefer not to, but I have tried it.

I thought I wouldn't like it, but it turns out it makes almost no impact on the taste.

You're crazy.

Do you think you might like eating other hair?

You just haven't realized it yet?

I would say of all the hair that I eat, Kiwi hair is probably the best.

It adds a huge difference to taste, in my opinion.

Really?

I'm surprised.

Interesting.

Yeah.

I think it's completely different.

It's like you put a rug on your food.

So we got

officially, we got Eric down for brown.

Gavin is white.

That figures.

Andrew likes yellow or orange, it sounds like.

And Nick and I are both blue boys.

Yeah, blue.

All right, all right.

Blue's pretty good.

Interesting.

Interesting.

I feel like I could be persuaded in a lot of different ways.

Plus, Pepsi blue.

Remember that?

Yeah, Pepsi Blue.

Purple, limited, but good.

I was trying to think the other day of, you know, like how Andrew, you've never had an egg and some other basic foods and stuff.

I was trying to think of the most basic food that I've never had.

Big Blue.

Oh, Big Blue.

Is Is that the same company as Big Red?

Yes, it is.

Oh, I would like Big Blue way more than Big Red, I think.

Yeah, it is.

It's better.

What is the most basic food you haven't had, Gavin?

I think the most...

The food that I've passed by the most without eating is spam.

Oh, okay.

I've never gone for spam.

I don't even really know what it is.

I assume it's just like pig offal.

It's a processed meat.

Didn't we have a conversation recently, Gav, about doing a new show where we

what was it called?

What do we we call it?

I think it was you that I talked to or where we talked about doing this very thing.

I think it was me and it was like first timers or something like that.

First timers club or something.

Yeah, it was something.

And it was like, we do, we correct mistakes in our lives that like Gavin having never tried spam, Andrew never having an egg, me never trying, I don't know, whatever, some white shit I've never had.

And it's like, we just like with all the things that we should have done that we've never done, we uh we create a list and it's like like a bucket list of things that we should have done at this point in our life that we haven't.

So it's like a bucket list of cherry pops.

Exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a good way to put it.

A bucket list of cherry pops, yeah.

Horrific, horrific way to put it.

This is a

we had a talk last episode about things that I prefer when free or that I think are only good when free.

And I compiled a little bit of a list that we could go over.

A lot of food on that list, surprisingly.

This is what I have so far.

Things I only like when free.

Melon, sausage links, mints, suckers, toothbrushes, spinach, raspberry, anything behind a ticket counter, samples, Mark Wahlberg movies, getting feet measured, potato skins.

Wait.

Things I only like when free.

Who's ever paid to get their feet measured?

That's a good point.

That's fair.

It's just the thing I would never pay for, I guess, was the thing I thought of.

I like healthcare.

Oh, that's a good one.

Healthcare is a good one.

That is a good one.

But that's good just generally.

Healthcare is great.

Healthcare and necessity.

These are things that I only enjoy when free, or that I would only opt for if free.

What do you mean, sausage links?

Like sausage links.

So you would never buy a toothbrush i'm i wouldn't be excited about buying a toothbrush

but if i get given one for free i'm happy about it but i would never i'm never excited about getting one not even an electric one oh a sausage link because it's a sausage yeah yeah sausage link instead of a instead of a patty or a crumble

big fan of the patty he's right i'm a big fan of patty too yeah like that's the default sausage though that picture that sausage that's one of the ways that a person can eat sausage.

Yeah, like I would say that it's sausage there, and then the sausage patties is like the side thing.

The separate thing.

I think what you're learning is that you just don't know what a sausage link is.

It's an unfamiliar term to you.

Yeah.

That's like calling it a melon fruit.

Like, we know it's a fruit.

No, but it's a link.

That's the link.

Yeah.

It's unlinked.

It's not.

Oh.

Do you think you could make a sausage chain?

So, do you think a chain, the links in a chain, when they're unlinked, stop being links?

Well, a link in a chain is closed off, isn't it?

Yeah, but these were two and connected at some point.

They've been cut apart.

Yeah.

I don't think Gavin understands sausage at all.

Sausage is the shape.

It's sausage.

Like if you're a sausage dog, they're sausage links.

Okay.

Sausage is the ingredient.

The link is the method it's being delivered to you by.

Link or patty or crumble.

Exactly.

Hell, if anything, crumble, I think, would be the most pure sausage.

Just the inside stuff.

I just think if something's like a sausage or sausage-y, it's that exact shape.

I think that could apply to anything.

I just, it's what your preference is.

So, so, when you called me many times in the past, a silly sausage, that's what you were referring to, meat and link form.

Yeah, I mean, you could, yeah, I think so.

That's what I was envisioning.

What's strange about this conversation is Gavin is articulating it it in a way that someone is wrong when all he's doing is stating his perception of this thing.

Absolutely.

Oh, sausage patty.

Oh, there's some good patties.

So that would you say that's more the base sausage than the link?

No.

No, I think the link is the most common, but it's just called a sausage patty.

Absolutely.

Yeah, a sausage link is the most common distribution method for sausage, I would say.

Yeah, by far.

Those are my list.

Potato skins, best tasting item, way too expensive on menus.

What do you mean by samples?

Like if you go into a grocery store and they're handing out samples, I'm always going to like the thing on sample, but I will never enjoy it as much as I do in that context.

If I buy the product and take it home, it will not be as good.

Interesting.

I thought of another question.

I have three questions.

I only asked you guys one.

Next question.

Do you guys think, this isn't the one I just thought of.

This was the, I had already thought of this one.

Do you guys think

that anyone's ever?

I was buying bread the other day, right?

I was looking at a loaf of wonder bread, I was just thinking about how much is there like a standard amount of slices of bread in a loaf, and I was like, Well, I could count and then see if it's the same as like the buttercream.

And I was like, This is stupid, I'm not gonna do this, but I was just thinking about like a loaf of bread's a lot of bread, you know, just like a regular ass loaf of white bread.

And that got me thinking, Do you think anybody has ever made one sandwich out of an entire loaf of bread?

Oh,

like if you had an uncut loaf and then carved it and put no, no, cut and sliced, but it's like, think of like a club sandwich with 80 floors.

Like you just keep layering with, use each,

you use

each slice of bread,

but you have to use an entire loaf to make one sandwich.

I just think three is the limit of my jaw.

I believe this is how the director of the raid pitched it to studios.

He had an eight layered sandwich.

It was like, imagine bad guys on each one of these fours.

I just can't help but thinking a vertical loaf of bread with just a bunch of lettuce and tomatoes and sandwich meat sticking out of it that looks like, you know, a tower would be a striking visual image on a break.

So you're talking like Scooby-Doo style sandwich right there.

Sub-doo sandwich, like a real Scooby-Doo sandwich.

I want, if I'm going to make a sandwich out of my bread, I'm cutting that bitch sideways.

I want long slices on my loaf of bread.

Cut my bread sideways, lengthwise, so we get long slices.

Then I'm stacking it up that way.

Can we do it both ways?

Can we try both?

Can we get pre-sliced loaf of bread and then an unsliced?

I want to see if I make the bread tower that Jeff's talking about.

I want to see if we can.

That was what I was first envisioning.

I think if we did do the tower with all the slices, we would have to employ one of our sandwich flattening techniques to get it down to the size that we fit in a mouth.

Maybe we could use the guillotine.

I like that a lot.

All right.

So let's

somebody add a note.

I'm doing it right now.

I'm putting in the idea bank right now.

All right.

Thank you so much.

Yeah.

While you're putting that in there, let me posit this question to you.

Gavin, you get

$175,000

one year, tax-free.

Okay.

Actually, you get whatever it is

after taxes.

So you get like, that's your net, right?

I don't know what the gross was.

Whatever the, whatever, the growth, you get the gross of whatever it takes for you to get the net of $175,000.

So it's above board you've paid taxes on it that's your cut right so it's somewhere in the 250 range probably but for one year

when you want to eat a food you have to eat all of that food but you can only eat one of that food so like if you wanted a blueberry you're allowed to have one blueberry in a 24-hour period but if you wanted a pizza you have to eat an entire pizza If you wanted a watermelon, you have to eat the entire watermelon because that is one unit.

But if you wanted Dorito, you could only eat one Dorito.

Okay, so like a single like if I can hold it, if I can pitch it between two fingers and it just dangles, I can eat that.

Yeah, I think so.

I mean, you can eat anything as long as you eat exactly one of that thing.

So you'd have to be really careful about your cravings.

Because, like, the first thing I thought of was like, oh, I just, I'll fucking eat fruit all day long.

I'll eat one orange, one apple, one watermelon.

Whoa, whoa, one watermelon would take me some time.

One fucking cantaloupe would take me some time.

You know,

one Porterhouse steak, that's gonna you up but you know so cereal would suck uh yeah yeah i think i think i i actually it's interesting you say that i got stuck on cereal because in my head it was like would it be one cheerio or did you have to eat the entire box of cheerio i think it'll be one cheerio with a whole milk with like a whole colon

yeah you'd have to use all of the milk in the container you can only put one corner you think if it's like one dorito then it has to be one cheerio yeah that makes sense right so you just have to be like, you'd be like, all right, I want some bacon.

I'll have one slice of bacon.

I'll have one sausage link.

I think I would be buying a lot of like,

I'd be going to a lot of shitty hotels that don't have a proper breakfast, but they have that like dog shit little bar with the little packets of peanut butter that are tiny.

You know, that kind of thing.

Oh, yeah.

So I'd be taking like one bread, folding it over, using a little peanut butter.

I'd just be getting like tiny versions of everything.

You could do that because otherwise, if you wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, you would have two pieces of bread and an entire canister of peanut butter and an entire canister of jelly.

I wonder if they'd do a little goober.

They probably do.

Yeah.

You'd have to get like, you could only buy food at like truck stops.

Interesting.

I would do this.

Although pasta would be annoying, too.

I like pasta.

Yeah, right?

You'd have one spaghetti.

Gotta make that oudon.

Gotta get the most out of it you can.

If you wanted to put tomato on your burger, you'd put an entire tomato on your burger.

Well, what if we had a draft of one foods?

Like a food that you only ever eat one of, like a hot dog is one bun.

It's one dog.

I guess you're having a little bit of ketchup.

Some people are.

I want to have a draft.

See, I want the other way where we would have to draft the food that you wouldn't want to have to eat one of.

but it would be for other people.

So like,

like what you just said about cereal and milk, because it would be one cereal and a whole gal, like a whole milk, that is, that would be like a number one on the draft for me.

I think that would be fantastic.

Drafting the worst one food.

Yeah, I think sources are out.

If you bought a bag of rice, how long would it take you to finish the bag?

Oh my God.

It would be insane.

How many rice is there in a

years worth?

Yeah, I would think so.

Uncle Ben's not cool that way.

That'd be right.

Maybe a decade worth.

I don't even know how you would cook a rice.

A rice?

The same way you would cook all the rice.

Just put it.

It's the same.

Two to one rice to water.

So you get half of a grain of rice of water.

I think you get a little egg cup, like an induction egg cup.

There's no way.

What?

You get up and say, oh, my rice cooker is done.

I'll be back in a moment.

It's just one singular rice.

We should have a one blade of rice cook-off.

Can you write that down?

One grain of rice cook-off?

Yep.

So you can cook one grain of rice cookie.

Who decided that rice cookers have the ugliest I'm done sound?

I can't say I've listened to a variety to

you know.

Oh, really?

They're always just like, ah,

mine doesn't make a sound.

It just kicks off.

Yeah, mine just made a ding.

Oh.

I used it last night.

I've just been having bad rice cooker luck.

What about a draft that's the opposite of this, where instead of like a one food or one worst food draft, it's the foods that you can eat the most of.

So it's like blueberries, Doritos, like things that when you eat peanuts, you just eat like a handful, a ton of.

I think that's fun.

Couscous.

Couscous would be great.

I love it.

You know, couscous is a thing I never think of, but I really enjoy.

I do too.

Me too.

I really like couscous.

You know, lintels is that way for me as well.

I really like lintels, but I never think about them.

Well, I think that like couscous is small enough you could eat it through your nose.

Yeah.

Do you want to do a foods that Gavin can eat through his nose draft?

No, the pool is too big.

Imagine.

Oh, I asked for that.

He said that you have a big nose.

Imagine if your mouth was like cemented shut for a week because of medical reasons or whatever.

You would still be able to eat through your nose

if it was small enough.

I had my jaw wired shut for six weeks

when I was 17 after my jaw surgery.

And at no point did they think to put the food through my nose.

I wish I could.

Imagine if you'd just done a line of couscous and then

suck it back into your mouth and you can just swallow it like normal.

Don't you hate when you get texts for somebody to like do dinner plans and you can't because your mouth has been cemented shut for a week?

Well, because due to medical reasons, yeah.

It's the worst

always happens to me.

Yeah.

Jeff, you're talking about like new draft ideas, but I feel like we have so many that we're already sitting on.

I know.

These all just popped up all at once.

Okay, should we go through the list of draft ideas that we had and video supplemental ideas that we had on the boat the other Sunday?

Yes, because I do want to preference.

I want to preface some of this that some of these are ideas that we all said, yeah.

And then some of these are ideas that

maybe just one person was really excited about, but, but, but, but they're on the list.

So should we do a speed run of these?

Because I haven't heard these and I could go thumbs up, thumbs down.

Should we do a speed run or Gavin just said the the ST word?

Should we do?

Is this a sausage shot, Gavin?

Is that what you're saying?

Well, it sounds like it.

Oh, wow.

You guys want to get into a sausage talk then?

Like on a day very soon to talk about these drafts?

It's been a while.

And we're post with post-GURP, aren't we?

Sure.

Yeah, we are post-GURP.

So maybe we should hold off on these.

All right, audience, enjoy the ideas we just gave you, but hold on.

The other seven or eight will be coming in a different format.

How?

At some point in the undefined future.

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How many of your.

I was talking to Meg and she doesn't have the same thing.

How many of your turds are emotional, would you say, in a given month?

What?

The fuck?

Now, do you mean

the act or emotional in the sense that there's a squirrel massacre going on above me when using the bathroom because I feel like you might have a unique perspective.

Squirrels are out.

Squirrels are out?

Good.

Well, they're either trapped in or trapped out.

Now, do you think it was the snake?

Do you think there's just one very fat, happy snake in your ceiling?

I don't think so.

I think they probably just sealed the hole shut like a mouth for medical reasons.

Pumped it full of gas.

Yeah.

But like sometimes I'll just walk into the living room and my eyes are watering and I've got like a ruddy nose and Meg will be like, oh my god, what's happened?

And I've just had a bit of an emotional one.

I don't think I've ever had that where you're just like this shit makes you tear up.

Yeah, there's no actual emotion.

It's just, it just like my face starts to leak.

No, zero.

I've never experienced that.

No.

No.

Really?

I mean, no.

Shitting is a constant part of my life and an often difficult part of my life and a very, very frequently painful part of my life.

And even then, I don't think I've ever gotten emotional about about a shit.

God.

What's wrong with me then?

I would say, like, maybe one a month.

I get

a bit sniffly from it.

You get sniffly from it?

That's odd, I feel like.

Do you think you had some sort of attachment to the dinner you ate the night before and you're sad to see it go?

Now, this guy, he wants to eat flavorless protein cubes.

I don't think there's an emotion with the food.

Yeah, that's interesting.

I didn't say flavorless, did I?

I just feel like you would opt for flavorless.

I think when you're dealing with protein cubes, flavorless is assumed.

It is true.

If it's flavored, then why are you not just eating that thing?

I feel like the whole point of the cube is that it is zero joy.

It is just the nutrients.

The cube is that it's nice and quick.

Like you could like I could eat I could have lunch as quickly as it takes me to like pick up my keys before going out the door.

Yeah, I get I yeah, you live your life you live your fast food life,

whole other level of fast food.

When you go out the door, do you take physical keys with you?

That's a good question.

Yeah,

I figured I just assumed you'd have like a little you'd open your front door with your phone or wave your hand or something technological.

Gavin strikes me as an eyeball scan guy, yeah,

yeah, like a retinal scan to open your front door.

Absolutely cool, but then I feel like people would be off to my eyes.

i

i think i mean

i get where you're coming from but i guess i feel like if they're that determined there's other issues yeah

please

take my keys not my eyes

yeah fair enough i have a continent idea i want to run by you guys i'm very excited about a condiment idea

content oh content i thought he's continent i thought he's gonna make continent yeah we got a continent idea Got to name them all.

My content idea

is

because we just got the guillotine.

We showed from Jackass 4, our big prop, the most recent prop we got, that was somehow less expensive to acquire than any of the other props that we've bought by like times three.

Yeah, that was a dogging.

I think including the other prop we got in that auction, which we haven't talked about because we forgot that we have it's just in a box, but we have all of Aaron McGarrity's cups that he wore when he got hit in the dick various different ways.

I think we have like three of them: we have the slapshot one for sure, and I think we have his hockey jersey

from when he was doing the hockey one.

But we have the guillotine.

And I want to put my money where my nose is.

I was thinking about this.

I think we should all create models of our nose and then stress test test them by dropping things using the guillotine on the nose.

I mean, I've been trying to get you to scan your head for a year, probably.

That's a more ambitious thing.

That is more than nose.

Yeah, but it makes sense for the nose to be on the head, surely.

So, you want everybody's full heads?

Yeah.

And then we got just like a bag of heads.

I think that's great.

I mean, I think that's a funny idea.

It's just tougher to get head models.

Gav, do you have a line on a bag of heads you can get us?

I can just print everyone's head.

Okay.

Okay.

I love this idea.

Does that work for you, Andrew?

Yeah, I mean, we could do it.

I'll have to figure out measurements for it.

But didn't he give you a phone and an app to scan like a hundred times?

He did give me an app thing, but with when you have a beard

and like the type, my hair, like the beard is mainly the issue.

Yeah, but I can

deal with your beard.

I'll just shave it down in my software.

You can shave me via your software?

Yeah, I'll like CAD away your beard a little bit.

See, but then

I would feel like you're fucking with my setup.

I feel like if my nose gave way, it would be because you manipulated the facial structure.

Well, does there exist a bald cap for chins?

I don't know.

Because I feel like Uniform could get on that, definitely.

A bald cap for chins?

Yeah, like a chin cap.

I like this.

Put it up there with the uh, the tongue, tongue gloves.

I did something recently where I had to scan my face into a thing, and it was an absolute

thing Gavin's been asking you to do for like a year

already for someone else.

I did a different face scan, he did, you know what he did,

you know.

Oh,

I did a different face scan, and it was the worst experience I've had had in a long time just because I tried to use the balaclava of my face for the cam

but it doesn't fit my face it's too small and so it was gripping my face so I did it once and I took it off and I was like finally done didn't work so I thought shit okay I guess I'll just leave it on until it works I spent 45 minutes with it squishing my face, telling me that you need to do it again.

it didn't work without any other instruction and I eventually had to give up on it but it was just grueling I was so mad at the world and my own face my own face was preventing me from scanning my face the world will be able to see the results of your actual scan pretty soon on the gameplay channel I love it's true I love this idea of using the guillotine in everyday for other things, right?

Like finding multiple uses for it.

Like I think it should be how we cut sandwiches or bread or anything that needs to be sliced going forward.

I was thinking we could even set it up with some tubes of paint where we could put a canvas in front of it and then drop the skateboard at different heights onto like tubes of paint and see if we can make paintings.

That's fun.

Yeah, yeah.

My initial idea was to model my nose and then Gavin, you print it and then we like glue it to the dillbot and drop the dillbot dillbot from it to just do a nose test that way.

So you would just drive the dilbot onto its nose from a height?

I think, yeah, yeah.

And I think the nose, I might be able to still work around it.

I'm not sure where the camera is in relation to the device.

I obviously don't want a nose to block the center of the camera, but I think there's a way to make it work.

Yeah, I think just below the little black bit would work.

Yeah.

Below the eye bit.

I just really like the idea of

testing the nose with the guillotine.

I think it's it's the perfect device to truly determine who has the most unbreakable nose.

So should we print it in a material that will break and see who breaks the most, or do we want them to be as sturdy as possible?

That's another great question.

And all has to be the same material.

Yeah, I don't think it matters as long as they're all identically strong.

Yeah, I think that's the way to go.

I think it's a great idea to print the whole head as well because we could just leave the heads down by the guillotine.

It's a great idea so it just looks like a bunch of people got beheaded yeah i like it we got to figure out a bald cap for a chin a chin cap or just do it with the the beard i don't okay okay i will

i'll give it a go does anyone have a tattoo on the inside of their lip tons of people I mean on this podcast.

No.

Oh, no.

No.

Did you want to get one?

I'm not an enslaved vampire.

You don't want to get a FTW?

That was always the big one.

Fuck the world.

I just, I'm like too scared to get a proper one, but I feel like I'd definitely get one on the inside of my lip.

I bet it hurts like a motherfucker to do that.

I would get

High Stanley written upside down.

Why?

Just the name of my dentist.

So whenever he's rummaging around in there, he'd be like, oh, hello?

I don't think he's going to notice.

You don't?

He would definitely notice.

That would be funny if you did that and then your dentist retired and then you had to spend the rest of your life trying to find that.

That's exactly what I was thinking.

Oh, that would suck.

Especially, yeah.

Like if I couldn't find another Stanley and a different person saw high Stanley, that would suck.

I was thinking about this with my wife the other day.

I was thinking, God, I'm never going to get divorced again.

I'm going to be with Emily for the rest of my life.

Guarantee you.

Guarantee you.

I'll move heaven and earth to stay married to this woman.

However, if for whatever reason we did end up divorced or apart, I think I would only date women named Emily going forward so that I would never have to worry about calling somebody the wrong name or screwing up writing a card.

You know what I mean?

Like just limit the dating pool down to that name and then you're safe.

It's awkward though.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I named you after my dead wife.

Sorry about that.

I was thinking about the woman I loved who died.

You've killed Emily in this scenario.

In my scenario, she's not dead, but no, I'm just saying, I think that's the most emotional mistake-wise.

Yeah, but you're the one that said someone was going to get divorced this year, so you would think that you're just hoping for the divorce.

Yeah, well,

the death, I wasn't hoping for it, it was just a statistical probability.

Do you have to get divorced from someone who died, or is it just an authentic that doesn't count actually?

If one of our spouses or one of us dies this year, that does not count as a divorce for Andrew.

Yeah, take that, Andrew.

Yeah,

I gotta call somebody.

One second,

you gotta cool him off.

Yeah, I gotta call them off andrew when did the uh you know my my uploading score when does that end that's in august right this month well it was this yeah it was originally august and then you went on vacation for like a month and then we joked about oh if you were gone again like i guess we should push it back because you were gone for a month and then you were gone for another like three weeks after that

What are you talking about?

When was I gone for a month or three weeks?

Last month and then the month before that.

The seven weeks you were gone, Gavin.

Yeah, dude, come on.

But I did like eight recordings.

That's like saying you've been gone for five years.

What are you talking about?

I'm saying we did a lot of recordings at a time to cover your absence, but there were recordings that would have occurred that you were not part of.

I was on a plane, I was around for the rest of it.

He's got that is true.

We both did film recordings on our, on our vacations with you guys.

Here's the thing.

You both recorded things.

Jeff, you were in someone else's setup, so it's not like I'm going to randomly ask you.

It was very nice that you were able to, but it wasn't like you could drop in or drop out whenever you want to.

Gavin, you're on vacation.

You're away.

So even though you are available.

What are you talking about?

You're back home.

You're not, you're not.

I don't know what you're doing.

You don't say what you're doing.

You're just, you say I'm out.

Out could be, I'm with the family in Spain.

Out could be I'm doing a job.

I don't know.

I have no idea.

And then when you do, when you are at the thing, you just send us a picture of you holding a laptop toward the sky because there's no internet.

I did have to stand in a field to upload the

video.

That was true.

Well, now

I don't want to defend Gavin for being out so much because personally, very difficult.

But

there is a difference in the calendar.

If you look at last month's calendar, which Gavin doesn't have access to for some reason, it is listed to as Gavin out

and then listed as Gavin out out, which meant

which is insane thing.

He's unavailable.

So Gavin out is Gavin is out, but still sort of available.

But he changed one of his out-out days.

And then that is true.

And then out, out changed.

Yeah.

That was

on the cloud.

Yeah, Nick was out.

And then Nick's also out tomorrow, but I don't think Gavin's out out.

I think you just need to give us out-out days, Gavin.

Just don't give us out-out days.

Why?

Or only give us out-out days.

Sorry.

Yeah, I feel like all of Nick's out days are out out days.

I agree.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

I schlepped like recording set up at an Xbox across the world.

I think

out.

But yeah, should I only give you out out days?

I think only out out days, because then if I look and I go, Gavin's technically available, I'll ask you to do things.

Okay, well, I'm going to go ahead and go the other way and say, don't fucking do that because this is going to be an issue when we go, okay, let's meet at 11.

And you go, well, that's not going to work for me because the time is so different here.

That's so we I need to know when you're, you know, when we have to make adjustments for caliber.

Can we phrase it differently?

I think out and out out totally makes sense.

That's how I feel.

I mean, I was still on the lay stuff.

I did a

Tony Hawk stream at like 11 p.m.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

That's great.

And so it's good to know that that stuff is happening.

So that way we don't have to rely on you for that stuff and we can work around it.

What Andrew, I understand what Andrew's saying from a producer standpoint, please don't do that to me.

Okay.

But if we're going on Andrew rules, based on what Andrew just said, in the last two months, I was out out for four days.

Okay, continue.

Continue with what?

With how, with, have I made it to the end of the freaking, I've, I have uploaded everything I needed to.

You extended it to September,

but

it was only four days.

Just takes.

Calm down.

Okay.

You're getting really mad.

You're heated.

When really, what I have in my notes is to say, Gavin, thank you.

You've done a really good job of uploading.

It's in my notes.

Oh, thanks.

You've done great.

He's on your side.

He's on my side.

You have made a significant improvement in availability for that stuff or like making sure it's there, not availability, but like that it's in its folder.

You've done great.

I literally have it in my notes.

Give Gavin credit.

He has shifted and made a change.

I'm no longer constantly asking him to upload things.

Wait, that's what your note was, and then we went through all of that to get to your notes.

Yeah, because that's the way he wanted it to go.

Yeah, Gavin shouldn't be so combative every time someone's trying to compliment him.

Well, I mean,

I just think it's wild that he said I was on vacation for two months.

Well, I don't know.

You were out of the country.

Two months.

You didn't say, he didn't say two months.

He said seven weeks.

Okay.

I apologize.

I was thinking maybe for the next

yearly counter experiment,

do we know the average on burgers?

Demolish burgers.

Because I think we would have wildly different numbers.

I think

Andrew's going to be the one to beat.

We're looking at...

Oh, that's Google AI.

I don't trust that.

150 burgers.

Don't read the Google AI and then just say it.

That's not what we're doing.

We got to find an actual...

We got to find a source.

Well, I'm reading allaboutburger.com.

you're reading

hang on hang on

what

you're reading allaboutburger.com aaburger.com all about burger

they're like a national burger society the average american eats three burgers a week which adds up to more than 150 burgers a year according to allaboutburgers.com three a week there's no there's no way that 150 that's not we have we gotta there's gotta be a better source that's insane dude i not to get into a whole hot dog thingy but i definitely probably eat three hamburgers a week.

Are you serious?

It's like the

to me, the hamburger is lunch.

It's the standard American lunch.

If I'm out and I'm hungry, I'm like, oh, I'll just swing by and grab a burger from P.

Terry's or I will say I did it.

Inaugural yesterday.

Oh, I think we should do this because

I'm fascinated.

I think I maybe do one every two months or something.

I don't want to do, I don't want to get into sausage talk territory because I know we have that coming up.

But one of the ideas on the drafts board is also another yearly food-related thing.

So we have some other stuff as well.

Okay.

But I like this idea, and I'm into this idea.

When would you want to start?

Do you want to start September 1st?

Yeah.

Yeah, like back to school.

That's late.

Is it Labor Day, September 1st?

Yeah, that's Labor Day.

All right.

So September 1st to September 1st, Labor Day to Labor Day.

Let's count our hot.

And it's not a contest.

Not a contest.

And I do need an important clarification.

Is a double and a single the same or is a double two burger?

Same.

I think it's the same.

It's a single item.

Like if you could order it as like it would say one next to quantity, that's the item.

Okay.

Then I feel like we should note doubles or singles as well.

This doesn't make sense.

We got to like really dial in on like this number because some of this is, this does not seem right.

It doesn't make sense to you, but I'm telling you.

After the hot dog thing, I saw so many comments from people who were like, Jeff said that it's insane that anybody could eat 70 hot dogs in a year, but he just doesn't understand the common man.

I've eat 450 hot dogs a year.

I ate 800 hot dogs last year.

Jeff doesn't know what he's talking about.

Not at all.

I have 100 hot dogs a month.

And it's like, fucking Christ.

You might, but.

I don't think my mother has had a hot dog in 20 years.

I don't think my daughter has had more than three a year.

My wife has had about 10 in the last year.

All the guys I work with have fallen somewhere between like a 10th or a quarter of the yearly average.

I came and like 90% towards the yearly average, and I was trying to hit it.

I think that there's a lot of people out there in the world who don't eat as many hot dogs as you think, just like there are obviously a lot of people out there who eat more hot dogs than you think or that I eat.

Obviously, the pool was all Americans and it wasn't just the common man.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's all Americans.

I was thinking about if I had ever hit the hot dog quota, and I think I did in the summer of 05.

Specific.

For sure, the summer of 05.

That was a big hot dog summer for me.

How do you remember?

I don't remember the company, but they had just introduced a product named the Top Dog, which I really liked, where it was a singular like wiener in a little plastic casing, and you could throw it in the microwave, and then the casing would split, and you'd know it was done.

And then you'd peel the casing, and then you'd pop the dog on a bun and eat a hot dog.

And I ate so many top dogs the first year that they were around which i think at least in my market was the summer of 05 i probably was eating like two or three hot dogs every day i i was trying to think how do you make a hot dog less healthy and putting it in the microwave in plastic seems to be the way oh it's a top dog baby what do you mean less healthy it's number one Andrew, something about the way you said hot dog summer really got to me.

Like I really, it was a hot dog summer.

I really like, I want 2005 to be known as hot dog summer.

I just looked up a list.

I don't know what exactly we can do with this, but I wanted to see what other products were introduced in the summer of 2005.

So I put a Wikipedia list.

Maybe we should do some sort of a thing themed around the summer of 2005 someday.

Do you know that's when the Shuffle and the Nano came out?

Really?

And Hurricane Katrina?

Apple Remote?

Beaver Buzz.

I don't know what that is.

Tag Body Spray.

Now we're talking.

Wow.

Yeah.

Furryville.

All right.

Oh, it's something different.

Furryville.

Anyways, different.

Anyways, I want to investigate Hot Dog Summer of 2005 in some way in the future content related.

Aw, life straw.

This is crazy.

According to the USDA, 222 pounds per person of ground beef, which averages out to 2.4 burgers per day.

There's no way these numbers are right.

But that's not, that's ground beef, dude.

Yes.

That could be spaghetti.

That could be soggy.

That's a space.

space.

That could be a lot of things.

Absolutely.

This is like, we have to like drill down and like find the average.

It might be three.

I'm finding a lot of places that say three burgers per week.

Yeah, I think that's the average.

I think it's the average.

I mean, if the, think about this way, if the national average is like 75 hot dogs a year, why wouldn't it be double that for burgers?

According to PBS, Americans eat three hot dogs, or I'm sorry, three hamburgers a week, 156 hamburgers a year.

156 is the over-under.

156.

My last question in regards to this.

Wow.

Chicken burgers.

Different thing, not countable.

Only beef.

Are chicken burger is part of this?

It's like a set, like a.

It looks like a burger.

I think

here's.

Chicken burger

sounds weird to me, but turkey burger I would allow.

So I guess I got to allow chicken, yeah.

Or like a lamb burger, I would, I would allow.

So any food that is called burger is part of the burger.

Like we understand what a burger is and as long as it fits that okay i think the burger is the format yeah got it if the burger comes say like you know normally it's served on a bun but what if it was a specialty burger that's served on like a tortilla or like a bed of lettuce or something like no i feel like

there's some pretty yeah like are you talking about like those like that place in san antonio that has like those uh frito burger things yeah yeah exactly Or like you could get lettuce as a, instead of the bun.

Like they're, I'm fine with all of it.

And also

like near meat would count impossible burger anything like that

meat alternatives yeah any veggie burger I just don't see how it could be a burger if it's a tortilla well it's still a burger how

it's hamburger meat

formed into a patty we just said chicken was fine like a chicken in a tortilla is not a burger to me um

it's true but if it's called if it's a specialty item on a menu and it's called like the something something burger that's served in a tortilla i think if it's in the burger section of the menu i think you're fine yeah if it's listed under hamburgers you're fine okay yeah

i think if you're just doing this at home and calling it a burger that's one thing but if you're going to a restaurant and they're doing a specialty thing i think that's totally in the clear excellent i'm excited these are going to be interesting totals september 1st i think i'm oh man i feel pretty good about this

I definitely eat more hamburgers than hot dogs.

It's not a contest.

No contest.

Not a contest.

Yeah, but

it isn't.

You're right.

It's definitely not a contest.

Okay, I've made the Slack channel, but we can't use it until September 1st.

Okay.

I'm also going to archive dog count because we have we did it.

So good work on that one.

Good job, everybody.

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We should try to schedule Sausage Talk for sometime early next week so we can get these ideas

written down before we forget them or lose enthusiasm.

I would love it if we could get a website where there's just like a live count.

People want to check.

There was a community made one for hot dogs.

Who was updating it?

I don't remember the user's name or the person's name,

but they had one and they reached out to us over Patreon to ask if we could forward our totals to them so that they could have accurate numbers.

There were more than 4,000 community hot dogs tracked using their websites.

That's a thing that exists.

I would love to talk to somebody out there in the world, maybe in the community,

about

designing some sort of a website

that

displays some sort of a visual timeline of all of our content so that it's a little bit easier to find.

I had to go back and find something the other day and it was a little conflated, the process to try to find this whole video.

And I don't know if there's anybody in the community that wants to lend their talents to that, but I would love to hire somebody or figure something something out where we could just have a repository that's easy to see or index or search all the disparate amounts of content that we've created.

On Patreon, if it didn't happen in the last 10 days, it's pretty difficult to get to.

We do have the collections tab, which makes it a lot easier.

It helps.

It helps.

And that's eventually how I found what I was looking for.

But yeah, it's still.

I'm not complaining about it's a limitation of Patreon.

I just, I'm not trying to complain about it.

It is what it is.

I just think it might be cool if we had like a website you could go to.

Speaking of like prop auctions, and you know, we got the guillotine recently.

I just got an email that I got outbid on an item that I forgot I bid on two weeks ago.

The auction is not live yet.

We've talked about before, Jeff, you and I, about an estate auction is weird because you have the item and you know that you only have it because that person's dead.

And that's just not a great feeling necessarily.

Yeah, it's like everybody wanted me to buy stuff from the David Lynch estate, and it was like

I liked him too much to pour through a dead guy's things.

Yep.

If that makes sense.

So it felt weird to me.

I completely agree with you on that.

There is one coming up where I do not feel that way at all.

And it is the estate sale of Larry King.

And one of the things that is up for auction is his Shrek 2 reading script.

Wow.

That's awesome.

It has his lines highlighted and it comes with like

a poster, I think, and like something else,

like a framed variety story about with his character on the front of it.

Um,

I forgot I bid on that, it was very cheap.

I,

and uh, I'm glad I got outbid because I don't necessarily want it, it was just the cheapest thing that I thought was stupid that was available to buy.

Uh, but I guess if people want a Shrek 2 reading script that was once owned by Larry King, you can go get it.

So, Americans eat 50 billion burgers a year, not Larry King.

They have,

I'm just reading this dumb website.

They have 8 million gallons of mustard.

We consume 8 million gallons of mustard.

I don't even know how you make mustard.

Have you guys ever made mustard?

It's a seed.

And then you crush it up, right?

You ground it.

I know that mustard is a seed.

I've cooked with it before, but I've never turned that seed into a yellow sauce that I put on top of a hamburger before.

I don't know what the process is.

I assume water is involved.

I assume if you put it in one of those grinders and you got to crush it up.

I bet there's more to it than that.

Probably vinegar in there.

I bet we, oh, fuck it, probably is.

Now, vinegar is, I'd have no idea where vinegar comes from.

I wouldn't have the slice of it.

Vinegar.

Yeah.

If somebody told me to make vinegar, how do I do that?

I mean, water and then what?

Maybe I'll get into being a like I've already decided I'm going to be the sack of the sack of burgers guy, which is really going to come in handy over the next year because this is already something Nick and I worked out.

Oh, yeah.

Where anytime I show up, I just want to show up with a sack of burgers.

Be like, anybody want a a burger maybe i'll maybe i'll be a mustard maker and get into like like artisan mustard making diy mustard yeah like

develop like a really good mustard recipe and then it every goes it's awesome can you plant mustard in your backyard yeah probably is it just like a growth like i never thought about like growing a mustard tree it's like whenever i hear people growing like food stuff like that it's like oh yeah i got some rosemary in the back i've never heard anyone be like i gotta go get us some mustard i'll be right back.

No, it's just like, mustard's just like a, it's just like a little flower.

It's like a nice-looking little flower.

Like, if you told me that that's what you were growing, it would be like, oh, that's fine.

Could you just have the petals on a dog?

Do you think?

Would you get the same peppery flavor?

No, I don't think the petals, I don't think it's a willy-wonka world where the petals taste like mustard.

I think we got it.

I think we got to give it a shot.

I imagine they taste like petals.

Okay.

Maybe.

Let's find out.

Why don't you this is what you have to do?

This is the experiment.

You have to blindfold Gavin, and then you have three different hot dogs, each with petals on it, and he needs to be able to tell if he's having the mustard petals or not.

Oh, that's good.

One's like roses.

This is good.

Oh, I'd be able to do that instantly.

There's no way that you'd be able to tell which one was the mustard petals.

All right, mustard petal taste test, Eric.

Write that down.

All right.

Yeah, I'm putting it.

Are you going to put any other edible flowers?

Yeah, they all have to be edible.

No, we're not going to poison you.

Yeah, it's different edible flowers.

So it could be a leaf or something, like a mint?

No, but it could be mint.

It could be

pep.

What's another?

Basil.

Could be parsley.

Could be a tulip.

Could be dill.

Could be tulip.

Could be rose.

Some nice rose petals.

I like the idea of you looking at rose petals on a hot dog and thinking it would taste like ketchup.

Could be a hot dog made entirely out of Turkish Delight, and the whole thing is set up to get you to eat Turkish Delight.

Oh, wow.

I don't know if I want to be blindfolded anymore.

I think you can be a real cool guy with an inner lip tattoo eating mustard flour on your hot dogs.

Oh, you know what would be cool?

If I got to learn how to make this mustard, because sometimes mustard goes on deviled eggs, right?

Or in deviled eggs.

And we're going to do that deviled egg eating competition where Gavin and Nick see who can eat the most deviled eggs.

That I was going to make all the deviled eggs.

Maybe I'll make the mustard that goes in the deviled eggs and then make the deviled eggs.

I don't want to get sick there.

Oh, yeah.

You're not going to get sick off.

I'm making good food, asshole.

That sounds like I'm trying some first, first attempt mustard here.

No, no, no, no.

Make, I'm gonna write this down.

Make mustard.

Make mustard to go in deviled egg off.

What if we just put in a bag or in the bit barrel, we put in all the condiments.

And whatever you pull out, you have to make that one from scratch.

Oh,

and everyone has a different one.

Ooh.

I like that.

Can you look it up or do you have to try to ponder how you even make it?

I think you should be able to.

I think you can look it up.

Yeah.

Good.

Because I'm still pondering vinegar here.

I got no idea.

I don't know that you can.

I don't know that you can like make vinegar in the time we're like trying to make a video.

I know you just use vinegar.

I think vinegar is like a fermented fruit thing or whatever.

Oh, fermentation.

Yeah.

That's probably the way it is.

Yeah, because it's the...

Yeah.

What are we fermenting, though?

Onion?

Is it like onion water?

No, no.

I think it's just like grapes and stuff.

I think it's just fruit.

It's grapes.

Grapes and stuff?

I think vinegar is just

a fermentation process.

From a grape?

How many

quids do grapes get?

They're hogging everything.

All right, here we go.

They are.

They're hogging everything yeah yeah yeah vinegar is primarily made of ass acetic acid and water with the acidic acid being produced through fermentation of alcohol the alcohol in turn comes from various sources like fruit grain or even industrial alcohol depending on the type of vinegar yeah because i think it's a it's like a wine offshoot i think oh it's a two-step fermentation process so you can take fruit through alcohol into vinegar I guess so, yeah.

That's nuts.

What happens after that?

Because isn't that like they say?

Like some, like when people, like when alcohol goes bad it turns into vinegar

yeah

you said that like you you reach the end of the universe and learn that there's more

but what's next

what happens if you leave vinegar for 25 years i bet it gets i bet it tastes really really really strong yeah NFL is going to have to move to vinegar salt.

You guys ever thought about doing like smelling salts before like some gaming stuff?

I've done some considered it, but they're insane, dude.

Yeah, we used to have it in the army.

We used to fuck with people.

What is it?

Smelling salts?

It's like

drugs?

No, no, no, no.

It's like

ammonia or something.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's ammonia.

Yeah.

It's ammonia.

Like concentrated.

Oh, like cat piss?

I don't think it's like cat piss.

I just know it's like a really, really, really, really strong.

It's like to smell so strong, it like wakes you up if you get like knocked out.

And then people do it when it's time to hit like their max like PR stuff when like they're working out or they're about to go hit the field and they got to get all like amped up.

And I thought about it, uh, just going on like Call of Duty and trying to beat like that one level.

Maybe it's like what you need.

Gavin's office is a large smelling salt.

I have been pretty amped in here recently.

They just banned them in the NFL for this season.

Oh, did they really?

I didn't know that.

Yes.

Out of concerns that players could use them to essentially get out of concussion protocol.

Yes.

Yeah.

And then,

so that means there's like plenty for us to buy.

That's true.

Yeah.

Ample supply.

Number one supplier now out.

Why would you want to get out of concussion protocol?

You got to get in there.

Coach says you got to play, baby.

Got to play, man.

You want to play more than you want to like die more?

Yes.

Yeah, because every game you're not playing, your replacement is proving that they can do the job that you just couldn't do.

That's right.

You're worried about losing your fucking career.

I think it's also just a mindset of like, I'll be fine.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Also, CTE is something that happens to other people, not me.

Yep.

Have you had a concussion, Andrew?

Or is your head made of the same stuff as your nose?

I don't think so.

I don't think I've had a concussion.

What was interesting is when my mom was in the hospital for her ankle one of the nurses was a the sister of somebody i went to elementary school with and she recognized her and they were talking and she brought up me and her response was is that the kid that hurt his knee which i thought was interesting to know that that was my perception of elementary school that was what i was known as i guess we're playing baseball using a lacrosse stick, like the pole part in the playground.

And I hit a dinger.

I hit home run.

I got real excited about it.

And I went to sprint to what would have been first base.

And I was right next to the wooden barrier between the gravel part of the playground and like the cement on the side.

And I tripped and I fell.

And I went knee first into the cement that had a bunch of those little gravel pieces that like parks have.

And it like shredded my knee in a way that didn't hurt that bad, but looked really awful.

And like blood splattered everywhere.

and all the kids got freaked out and I got sent home.

Oh, wow.

So that's my legacy, I guess.

I'm the kid that hurts his knee.

Yeah, I would say similarly, my like worst injury to least pain ratio injury was on my knee.

That's crazy.

Really?

Interesting.

I've had so many concussions that the last one I got, a doctor told me that I had to stop getting concussions or I was going to die.

Johnny Knoxville?

Holy shit.

He was just like, you know, concussions are really bad for you, Ryan.

How many of you?

And I I was like, it was my fifth concussion.

And he was like, you got to stop doing this.

You're not going to live long.

And I was like, oh, I'm not trying to.

How did you get the fifth one?

I was in the army.

Oh, so you already at five?

Like in your 20s?

Yeah, I was in my 20s.

I was like 22, maybe.

Jack.

Yeah.

I got hit by a baseball.

That knocked me out flat.

Woke up in the emergency room.

Had a little bit of gray hair from that one.

Fell off a half pipe on my head.

Went over the handlebars on a bike once.

I think there's another one in there somewhere.

And then anyway, the one that I, the last time I got a concussion is

maybe the worst.

I was pushing an AV cart in the army and it was like so fucking heavy.

And I

like was like working it around a corner and I got kind of stuck.

So I went around the other side to pull and I like wrenched it free and pulled.

And so it's one of those things where you're like pulling a heavy cart towards you and it.

pushes into you and as it was like pushing into me with the momentum i turned around and there was a stairwell and it was like the landing on the stairs, like right above me.

So it was like right, like the line of where

I guess began was right about my forehead height.

And it was just like under, like if I had a duck, I would have just gone under it.

And the cart pushed me, pushed my forehead into the stairs, and I was fucking gone, thrown up and just gone.

That was rough.

Brutal.

Fuck.

Wow.

Oh, my God.

Holy shit.

Yeah.

So you've done really well in the last couple of decades.

I haven't had a concussion in over 20 years.

You better start knocking on wood bud that's wild wow i don't i don't want to get any more that's for sure no kidding well we got to be we we gentle with you from like 10 to 22 i was real rough on me i've yeah

so like that was like a 12 that was my 12 year concussion period but i'm i'm past that

I'm like, I'm floored.

If you would have been like, oh, yeah, we were doing like immersion, it would have been like, oh, yeah, I wonder which one that was.

And you were like, so I was 22.

No.

The only time I ever got hurt in my 22-year career at Rooster Teeth was on Does It Do?

Ah, yes.

Oh, that's right.

Poor Tyler's stab.

I know.

I felt so bad for him.

Poor Tyler's stab.

I was trying so hard.

I put my hand behind my back and I was like, let's wrap up.

Let's keep filming.

And they're like, why are you?

What's going on?

What?

And I was just like, it's fine.

I was like, it's fine.

We'll just keep filming.

I was like trying to wrap it up.

And I'm like, it's going to be fine.

We're going to get through it.

And they were like, absolutely not.

And then you huffed some smelling salts and you kept going.

Yeah.

I've been having fun being at the office a lot recently.

We've been doing a lot in there.

You got the pinball machine moved.

It's been great, man.

This place rocks.

Not by the front door anymore?

No.

I found an excuse to go every day this week, and it has been just a delight.

I'm going to have to probably come less because you've started going back to achievement hunter mode.

We had a close call today.

We had Andrew, we had a close call.

We had an achievement hunter close call today.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I stopped myself.

I set all the sprinklers off.

No, no, we don't have sprinklers.

I had a coffee on my desk, a little iced coffee that Eric kindly got me from

nearby.

Gavin and I sit next to each other.

I sit to his left.

And I saw that coffee.

And I shit you not, Andrew.

I saw that coffee on his desk and it was in front of his keyboard and the way he was sitting and my hand reflexively back like I got into a backhand motion and I was reflexively about to

like I wasn't even thinking.

I was just in autopilot mode and I was about to whack it to see if I could hit the coffee into his keyboard and then all the way down into his lap.

And I was like, what are you doing?

I saw my hand and I was like, what are you doing?

And I stopped myself and I was like, no, don't.

And then I told him what I'd almost done.

But it was real close, man.

I, if I wasn't paying enough any, if I wasn't paying attention, I would have done it.

Maybe you're not a menace and it's just you have cat-like reflexes.

No, it sounds like a cat move, just swiping a thing on the thing.

I think I'm a menace.

It's like

there was a movie a couple of years, I don't remember a horror movie where a guy got like a hand.

He got it decapitated.

He got it or his.

decapitated.

He got his arm cut off and he got like a new arm, but the arm was evil from a serial killer and it would do stuff and hurt people and he had no control over it.

I have like, I have like a dickhead hand.

I just have like a hand that is a menace that I don't have any control over.

It belongs to you when you were 20, but you've still got it.

Yeah,

I've got two 20-year-old hands in a 50-year-old's body.

And I just, I don't know what to do about it.

I forgot what it's like to be in the office,

just like in in your vicinity, but not necessarily working on something.

Like I was under the

the other day, I was under the desk trying trying to like we rewire some of the networking stuff just so we all have our own like full gigabit connection.

And I'm unplugging stuff, and then it's like moving Ether cables around, and then suddenly from above, because I'm under the desk, all I hear is like slam, slam, Sam.

It's like, nothing works, but and I guess I unplugged your Xbox Jeff or something, and then you getting annoyed at that and slamming the table, then somehow like unplugged your HDMI from your mother.

And you were just getting more and more annoyed just smacking everything and breaking everything as it was just it was like a cascading effect that went beyond my control it was a full day of Jeff having tech problems and they did the shit just kept rolling downhill and that meant some keyboards were getting slammed around on some desks you smashed your spacebar off which is great i think we've had that keyboard for a month and all you needed to do was just wait for it to come everything to come back on i had to rewire like half your shit because you'd loosened it all

i put the keyboards spacebar back on.

It's back on Wix.

Yeah, I got real mad for a second.

I was just under the table.

Just like, all right, chill out.

Shit stopped working in the middle of something.

Suddenly, stuff's not working.

And then I dropped my controller on the ground.

Well, I threw my controller on the ground or whatever.

And it made my

monitor stop working.

I mean, no steam.

It was like a Rube Goldberg of shit.

Oh, man.

Gavin, did you see that Rube Goldberg I sent you the other day?

The video?

Yeah.

Yeah, that was great.

Oh, man,

it may you make it sound like I'm some sort of an angry tyrant, but it was all done in a playing-loving way.

Oh, yeah, it was like tongue-in-cheek, but then you, then you actually broke stuff for real that I had to fix, and you were genuinely annoyed.

Well, yeah, because I broke stuff,

but I was mad at myself, not you.

Yeah, I guess I've never worked in the same office as you where I'm IT and technical, so it's a different, it's a slightly different experience.

It's fun, though.

It's so much fun.

I really am having a mess.

We need some new drinks, though.

We're low on drinks.

Have we talked about the awesome trash can that we got at work?

I don't think so.

No, I really, I don't, I don't think so.

I don't think so.

We got to release that video of Eric with the trash can on social.

You do.

It is very

pretty.

Instant classic.

Instant classic.

When we went to El Famoso for the hot dog Thursday that they had,

we were taken aback, Eric and I, because in their break room, they had one of those trash cans with the swinging thank you door that you put the trash in that they have at fast food restaurants, like that they would have at Wendy's or McDonald's.

And we were like, how the fuck did you guys get that?

And Natalie was like, ah, we...

We have a hookup or whatever.

And we were like, could we get your hookup?

And then it fell through, but we just bought one on a Granger or one of those like industrial websites.

And we finally put it together and it is the coolest fucking thing in the world.

It looks like a lot of fun.

Our kitchen looks like a Burger King now.

And if we wanted to put up that video on social tomorrow, is that all right, Eric, or have we missed it?

Oh, you can just tell me when you want it up.

I can put together a thumbnail.

Oh, man.

Yep.

That's cool.

You can just tell me when you want it up.

And then when it's about to go up, you can change your mind.

That's up to you.

I didn't change my mind.

What do you mean?

Okay.

Well, what?

What did I change?

No, it's fine.

Yeah, you just let me know when you want it up.

Jeff, end the episode.

Yeah, go.

Whenever you want it up, you just say.

Well,

before

regulation, check the calendar.

It should be there.

But which day ahead of this?

Which day is how it is?

Yeah, just have a look on the calendar, man.

Anytime.

Anytime you have a question, just have a look at that calendar, dude.

You have no problem.

Just check it.

Yeah, just check out that calendar.

You just let me know what day you want it up.

We'll put it up.

No problem.

I'm telling you, whatever day you want, man.

I tried it.

Just keep going.

Just keep fighting through it.

All right.

Well,

before regulation, the regulation company disintegrates in front of us all, this has been episode 66 of the Regulation Podcast.

We hope you liked it.

I'll be honest with you, this one was in rehearsals for a week.

We did dress rehearsals.

We did like four different read-throughs of the script, but I really feel like we nailed it this week.

Hopefully, you agreed with us, and

we got to get to writing because we got a whole new script to come up with for 66.

We still in season one, a regulation era?

Oh, no, I think we're in season two.

Okay, the season two, I felt like it was still pretty season one-ish.

I mean, should we do we vote?

Did we not declare at the end of season?

I thought we did.

I thought we got on the one-year mark.

Yeah, you're right.

I think we did at the one-year mark.

Okay, so we're at.

Yeah, but Gavin's got some decisions to make about it, so don't worry.

He'll let us know later.

Gavin, go ahead and get those notes to us on that decision we made for you.

So, now that it's now that it's done, yeah, absolutely.

Now's the time, appreciate it.

And

oh, yeah.

Check out our Patreon, patreon.com/slash the regulation pod.

And don't forget, we're on Twitch at twitch.tv/slash the regulation pod.

And don't forget, we're on YouTube at the regulation podcast or regulation gameplay.

And don't forget, we love you.

We love you so much.

Thank you so much for listening.

Bye.

Bye.