Cut Man Dry Style // Hot Dog Limit? [64]

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Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Regulation Podcast.

My name is Jeff Ramsey, and with me, as always, Andrew Pitt and Gavin Free, Eric Padour, Nick Schwartz.

This is episode 64.

I thought it was 63, and I was going to say, oh, that's seven times nine, but it's not 63, it's 64.

And I don't know what, I don't know any multiplication tables for that one.

So, eight times eight.

64.

Yeah, it's eight times.

Eight times eight, 64.

There you go.

Which of those dudes' dicks did MOTEP take, do you think?

Oh, interesting.

All 64 of them.

Everyone.

As 64 dicks.

This podcast has a weird smear to it.

It looks like there's gel on the screen.

64 style.

All 64 games look like shit.

Man.

Gel.

This gel on the screen?

Didn't know what it was.

It looked like it was covered.

Like, the screen looked kind of like fuzzy in a weird way.

Like, somebody smeared something on the screen.

Like Vaseline on the lens.

Sure, some Vaseline on the lens.

There you go.

It's an ugly daytime TV style.

What a strange walk.

We just went on a straight.

What a strange walk that Gavin started.

And then Andrew just sort of grabbed and he went, and we're going this way now.

Scream 4 also heavily Vaselined for some reason.

Scream 4?

Yeah, it just looks like shit.

Did you just watch Scream 4?

No?

Just remembered it being very Vaseline-y.

Really?

Well, that one, they're like using weird cameras, aren't they?

Like, they're doing like shoulder cam and like webcam stuff in it.

Vaseline cam.

If you want to see some of the best Vaseline work in the history of Hollywood, let me recommend season seven of the TV show Dallas.

That was when I think everybody was too old and alcoholic and bloated to fake it anymore.

And they were like, we just got to slather on the petroleum jelly because it is, it's getting obvious.

that these people are aging faster than our story wants the audience to believe.

Do you ever just smear a big thing of Vaseline over your face no your eyebrow or something yeah i'm wearing it right now oh that's nice i just i see it all the time in fights like cut men are always smearing vaseline on faces and i always wonder what that feels like is that just straight up vaseline or is it some sort of like homebrew mix no i'm pretty sure it's just vaseline i think it's just just vaseline it's just trying to i didn't know that hold the cut yeah it's just to uh prevent friction like when you get hit and hopefully you're hopefully getting the boxing glove to slide right off of your eyebrow that just got hit so so hard.

What if you pre-Vaseline then?

What if you just pre- That's illegal?

Not allowed to do that.

But that is a thing that people will do is they'll like coat themselves in Vaseline or lotion prior to the fight so their body absorbs it and then they sweat it out and becomes super slippery.

We should rent one of those punch glove machines to see who has the hardest punch and all take a go punching it and then we Vaseline it and have a good

go.

And then we go to the minor emergency when somebody breaks a knuckle.

Can I ask you guys a question about Vaseline?

Of course.

Well, let me ask you two questions.

One, is Vaseline the brand or the product?

It's petroleum jelly, right?

And Vaseline, is Vaseline the company or the product?

It's the brand.

Yeah, it's clean.

It's like Kleenex, right?

Like tissue.

Yeah, facial tissue.

It's just becomes synonymous with

the product.

The other question is, when I was a kid growing up, everybody always talked about like it was always like you jerk off with Vaseline.

I've never done that.

That seems like such a mess.

I guess we got to try it on the show, man.

I don't want to jerk off on the show.

It's all you circumcised freaks who need that lube.

What?

Dead, dead, just

wobbin or grenade and four guys watching it land.

It's all your circumcised.

I was just trying to understand.

Okay.

Sorry, guys.

If you're a monk kid off, you can't just monk off off dry?

I mean, sure.

Yeah, but I think that the idea is that monking off dry is probably not as

fun or as similar to the experience of having intercourse, you know, where it's typically not dry skin rubbing against dry skin.

It's a dry rub.

Yeah.

It's a dry rub.

Yeah, it's like a brisket.

Yeah, but that's what the foreskin is for, like easing it in and out.

I'm just imagining a bunch of monks eating brisket and you bringing foreskin and really has thrown up my visuals.

visuals.

The title.

I'm so excited to write this title, Cutman Dry Style.

I don't know.

I just think I think circumcision was a bad idea.

Take it up with God.

I don't think that's controversial.

Yeah, I don't think there's anything controversial about that either.

I think circumcision is on its way out culturally.

But for many of us who were born at a time when it wasn't, we just dealing with it.

I've been shorting circumcision for years.

I'm ready for the collapse.

I've been calling it.

I'm the Michael Burry of circumcision.

He's shortened GameStop and circumcision any day now.

He's going to be fucking loaded.

Oh, big money.

Diamond hands.

Let's go.

If the circumcised of the regulation crew could buy back a foreskin, how much would you put down for it?

Zero.

You wouldn't want one?

No.

Dude, you're missing out.

I've made it 50 fucking years years with a bald dome, dude.

I'm doing okay.

I don't need to put a hat on it.

Not this late in the game.

Let's say you could get injections and you could regrow it.

You wouldn't consider it?

Okay, there is.

I've heard this on the Howard Stern show in the past.

There is a procedure you can do where they stretch, if you have enough skin, they can stretch it and pull it and kind of recreate.

Oh, God.

Recreate your

foreskin.

And it sounds brutal.

I will say one time I heard

it was during that segment.

Some guy called in the Howard Stern show and said that he got his foreskin cut off as an adult.

Like he had a foreskin his entire life and then had a wife or a girlfriend or somebody who was not into it.

And he was like, fuck it, I'll just cut it off.

And he cut it off and said his life got so much better instantly.

Sex felt better.

It was easier to clean.

Going to the bathroom was easier.

And he was like, I would never in a million years take a foreskin again.

And I'm going to trust that one stranger on a radio show who I don't know and who could have been lying because it makes me feel better about my situation.

That guy was a plant for definite plants for big foreskin.

Big circumstances.

Big circumcision is the reverse.

Oh, big cut.

Big cut.

I don't want to hear that propaganda while I'm shorting.

I don't know, man.

Get it out of here.

Life's pretty easy without a foreskin.

Life's pretty easy without a foreskin.

And it just,

there's no friction.

Yeah, but if you've made it this far in life, why would you need to change it?

Like, sometimes, you know, you want to try a new pair of shoes.

Okay, well, why don't you cut your foreskin off and then let us know?

That's too proud.

It'd be easier than us adding a foreskin.

It'd way easier for you guys to subtract than for us to add.

So if we want to get to the bottom of it, maybe that's the angle we take.

I just want a fantasy world where you could inject yourself with something and it naturally grows back.

That'd be fun.

I'll only cut mine off if it gets put on someone else.

You know how people are going to Turkey to get hair replacement done?

Like that's the place to get.

Yeah.

Could you get like back hair replacement?

Like could you put hair anywhere?

What's the restriction on where you can put hair?

I mean, anywhere there was a follicle, right?

Could put a new one?

I assume, right?

It just, I've never heard anyone getting back hair.

I don't know if we ever talked about it.

But when I came back from Turkey, you know, I flew back from Turkey.

Yeah.

There were probably eight dudes on the plane who had

who had had the surgery they were all uh they were all peppered around and uh they just had red angry heads with like little black hairs popping out and their head just looked like just looked like a bruised testicle it was just it was brutal and every they just all looked so miserable but they all had bloody hairy heads so i guess uh they'll look fine eventually right yeah i guess in six months from now they'll probably be the happiest dudes on earth but man they looked miserable on the plane i might have to do it one day yeah yeah that's what my flight looked like yeah just a bunch of dudes oh yeah gavin i'll go with you like i don't necessarily like need it but like i get like a lower hairline imagine if i came back and i just had like a really forward hairline

like just just dialing it back and just having it go like oh yeah

forward two inches like it's like way down my forehead that'd be cool i got plenty on my back plenty on my chest i've got plenty.

Like, even high up my cheeks.

Like, my, my beard stops right under my eyes.

It's just not where I need it.

Do you think they could take any hair from anywhere and then put it on your head?

Or does it have to be from like the back of your head?

Like, it's like that kind of situation.

You think you could give up like some back hair?

Back of the neck, isn't it?

Usually, you could have a head that's partially like head hair, pubic hair, and back hair.

And you'd just be like, man.

Oh, do you think you could get animal?

Like a lion, Like, get like half a lion's mane.

Oh.

Can you imagine seeing someone who had a head of hair from a sloth?

Yeah.

Yes.

Think about it.

Yeah.

Oh, you could have, you could have schme hair.

You could get a bunch of hair from your cat.

Oh.

And then it's, and then, and then you go home and you go, I'm like you.

I'm like you.

And then I'll get a hungo for flesh.

Yeah.

I wonder what animal has the most human-like hair.

Huh.

I bet there's like a, like a dog that has human hair.

It, like, Nick's dog has people eyes.

Oh, yeah.

What about what about feathers?

Yeah.

I saw a real fucked up looking bird recently, but I don't know what it was.

That would be great if you could just select from a list and be like, dude, I love your new hair.

Where'd you get it?

And they're like, oh, it's golden retriever.

And they're like, yeah, it fucking shows.

It's beautiful.

What about you?

I went with German Shepherd.

I like it.

Yeah, it's good.

What if you, instead of taxidermy for your favorite pet, you just get them on you?

That sounds horrendous.

What?

Like, what if I just had...

I just grossed myself out.

What if I had Smee on my back?

Yeah.

Like, I fill in my bald spot with a little bit of Henry.

Yeah.

Oh, I hate this idea.

Why?

The premise of, like, you're having to shave your animal for their hair.

No, they've died.

Well, when they die, they don't grow hair back.

You're going to run out of hair.

Well, you're taking the follicles, aren't you?

The fur follicles.

Yeah.

but i assume that do they not go away i'm not just gluing hair balls to my back

huh

do they not go away what do you mean then i assume that they would diminish over time

oh maybe you might have to get i assume you need a refill is my point and i that's your your animal's gonna die at some point yeah i don't i don't think i'd want to take its follicles before it died interesting so you'd want to like wait for it to die naturally and then immediately go into the OR.

Yeah, yeah.

So it dies and then I harvest.

See, I see that this is the confusion.

I was thinking more like a wig type scenario where you're just shaving the hair and then shoving it in your own head as opposed to you're talking about the follicle.

I don't think when you go to Turkey, they just shave off some of your head and plug it in.

No, I don't think they do that in Turkey, but I think that's what hair transplant surgery originally was.

Was it not?

What gluing hair?

Not gluing hair, but like inserting hair.

That's why why you'd have to reset it like every few years or like

I don't know.

I was always under the impression that you need the follicle put in.

I don't know.

I would go 100% bald before trying any of this.

Yeah.

In reality.

I would just tattoo like a big spider web on my head and pretend I was tough.

That's cool.

I wonder if there's anyone who's bald who is considering going to Turkey, but is not because they don't want people to assume why they're going there.

Like they just want to visit Turkey.

They don't want the transplant surgery, but they're bald so they know everyone will assume that that's why they're going.

And so they just haven't gone.

They don't want to deal with that.

That's why I tried to be very clear that I was going on a cruise that happened to end in Turkey.

I was not going to Turkey because I didn't want anybody to think I was like trying to sneak back in with a new hairline.

I don't think I've ever seen.

I don't think there's any shame in it.

No, no shame, but I've never seen a result that I went, oh, that was worth it.

I just don't think you've seen the best work.

Oh, I don't know.

Joel McHale is a pretty good example.

You ever seen that dude before, his hair transplant?

I just don't like, I think it's more of just a personal thing where it's like, I don't care.

It doesn't matter.

Look at Steve Carell's head in series one of the office compared to series two.

I'm kidding.

No, it's night and day.

I don't know if they like sabotaged his hair for the first one, but wow, Joel McHale looks great.

Yeah, he looks fantastic.

He's an example of why you would get a hair transplant.

It changed him from a nerdy dude to a good-looking dude dude instantly.

I guess when I've seen like TikToks of people being like, I went to Turkey and did the thing.

Here's my month-by-month update.

Yeah, what do you expect?

It's me.

Here's a Hollywood actor.

I saw some TikToks.

We're talking about the best work here, bud.

I think Turkey is the best place to go.

I feel like Turkey's the number one place now.

But I don't know what I'm talking about.

I don't think any of us really do.

I don't think any of us have researched this extensively.

Zero research.

Yes.

I think people go to Turkey because it's cheap.

Yeah.

And I think they're good doctors there too.

Let me just tell you, after being in Turkey, it's awesome.

I would go to Turkey for a lot of stuff because Turkey is just cool.

And the people in Turkey are cool.

And it's, if you tell me they had the best doctors in the world in Turkey, I'd go, I believe it.

It's a pretty cool fucking town.

It's a big city.

Like, I get it.

I think Turkey is just rad.

Yeah.

I've heard nothing but good things, mainly from you, but nothing but good things

Andrew, I need a mental image update still got the long hair.

Yeah, it's too long.

I need to get

still got the beard?

Yeah,

and how's the coverage on the head?

Is it good?

It's fine.

Okay.

Would you be going if you if you went for some plugs, would they be on the top or sort of on the receding line?

Uh

I guess top, right?

You want top?

Yeah, I think that's where I would need it.

Yeah.

Yeah, like in the male pattern baldness section would be at the crown probably.

Yeah, oh, the crown.

That's a good way to say it.

I would definitely need a hairline.

Like my hairline has definitely receded over the years.

It's retreating.

Bunch of cowards.

It's like, hold the line.

Hold the line.

We can win this.

And it's like, no, we've no, we don't have enough reinforcements.

The war's already lost.

Pack it in, boys.

I would get beard.

Do you think they'd let me do beard?

Get like beard hair transplant.

What about like grizzly bear beard?

I think that would be that'd be I mean, I just can't

grow a beard like at all, so I'm just like, Can you do hair transplant on face?

I don't know, I would assume so, right?

I mean, I bet just some hormones would kick a good beard out.

Yeah, oh, what if I started doing like uh steroids?

Yeah, oh, yeah,

yeah,

what kind of beard did Jose Conseco grow?

Big,

big Big until none at all.

If you could safely do steroids, would you do steroids?

For what?

What do you mean?

What do you mean?

For its purpose.

To get like yoked?

Yeah, why not?

I mean, it helps with that.

It helps with recovery.

Yeah.

You still have to do shit.

I think I'd rather just like put an EPO tent on my bed and just sleep in an EPO tent.

An EPO tent?

Yeah, like it raises your blood levels or something.

It's what Lance Armstrong was doing.

He was also doing steroids.

Lance Armstrong was also doing a lot of tent.

I don't know.

He was doing a lot of...

I mean, Lance Armstrong was doing a lot, but like doing a tent to raise your EPO, I believe, is what it is.

That was so disappointing because he had the coolest commercial in the history of sports commercials where it was like him training.

And he was like, people keep asking me, what are you on?

And he's like, I'm on my bike eight hours a day.

And I was like, oh, that's tough.

And he's like, but also I'm on a shitload of steroids.

They just haven't caught me yet.

Yeah, I'm just doing like a bunch of trend also.

So, you know, figure it out.

And an EPO tent.

What am I on?

I'm on my bike eight hours a day, and I'm on a flight to Turkey.

I just don't think I'd have.

Oh, maybe.

I don't know.

I guess I don't think I'd use steroids to get jacked.

It would just be more like injury recovery.

How much are you getting injured?

What's your percent right now for ankles?

Oh, 100%.

Ankles are all good.

My shoulder's fucked, but.

So you wouldn't see it as like a like you would use, you wouldn't see it as steroids being like a consistent thing.

You would only use them to recover from stepping on a sushi container or whatever.

Yes, yeah.

And we're in a, we're talking in a world where like there's no negatives to steroid usage.

Well, you know, one of the positives to steroid usage, I think, that I wasn't always a positive, but now later in life, I wouldn't mind is, doesn't it shrink your balls?

I could use, the older I get, the more they sag, you know, like I could use a little ball shrinkage at 50.

You got long balls?

I got long balls.

I don't think it would bring them in.

It would just make them little.

Yeah, but then maybe they wouldn't swing as much, you know?

The pendulum would be smaller.

Andrew, how did you hurt your shoulder?

Was it a sleeping injury?

I've had a fucked up shoulder for like 15 years.

I think I have like a rotator cuff injury.

Well,

definitely take steroids.

Yeah.

I think I might need surgery on it or something.

I don't know.

I guess it doesn't, if it's a rotator cuff, you know, it doesn't naturally heal.

But I'm not entirely sure what a rotator cuff is.

Yeah, there's like a million things in the shoulder.

I have no idea.

If you're going to get a rotator cuff surgery, you might as well go ahead and get Tommy John surgery at the same time, preventative, like some baseball players are doing, just in case.

I'm going to knock it all out.

I'm going to get that.

I'm going to get the hips done for like what goalies do, precautionary.

I'm going to get my wisdom teeth removed at the same time.

We're just doing it all.

One trick.

Appendix.

Yeah.

I think that's gone already.

Oh.

Pretty sure that's gone.

Oh.

Do you have a pendicitis at some point?

I think I was just, I had to have stomach surgery, and I think they just got rid of it at that time.

Yeah, you got some gut out, didn't you, at some point?

I did.

Yeah, I got some intestine removed.

Oh, lucky.

A little short on my test.

Long back.

Shortened test.

Think about getting, getting, getting your intestine shortened, though.

Like, I might have to do something similar someday with my butthole, you know, because of the diverticulitis.

And it's like, people worry about that.

But you think about it, you've got so much bundled up in there.

If you get a little bit cut out, it's got to just make things a little more efficient, right?

It's got less distance to travel through it.

It's crazy.

I assume not, considering evolution of that exact length.

Yeah.

I think it all just got stuffed in there and was like, good enough.

I feel like with intestine, it's crazy how long it is.

And just frustrating knowing, like when I can't reach something, thinking that there's so much length in me that I just can't use.

Pointless length.

It's like you're plastic, man, but it's all trapped inside.

Yeah.

It's like Russian dolls, but it's shitty.

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I just got back from roughly two weeks away from home.

Missed you guys, by the way.

I was very excited to come and record with you today because we haven't done a podcast in a little bit.

didn't expect to be talking about hair transplants for the first 20 minutes, but that was cool.

But I do have one funny little story.

I was gone for two weeks.

Not much happened on my trip, but I did have one funny little minor story I would love to share with you guys.

Please.

I have a question for you once you're done.

Absolutely.

Got up to Gross Point in Detroit area, you know, staying with the in-laws, did some, did some house hunting, the whole deal.

Didn't find a house, narrowed it down to where I want to live, though, if we end up buying a house up there someday.

However, one of the cool things we did do is, you know, I'm a big e-bike rider.

But it's a whole thing to move the e-bikes up with us, you know, in the car on a three-day journey.

And so, it's something that we've always discussed is if we spend enough time in Michigan, maybe someday it would make sense just to buy e-bikes and have two sets.

And so, while we were up there this time, I said, fuck it, and pulled the trigger and did it and bought a couple of cheap e-bikes.

And Emily and I were in the garage getting them set up.

And her dad came in and he goes, Hey, it'd be really cool if you guys wore helmets.

And we're like, Yeah, yeah, of course, of course.

And he gave us some helmets because they already have them.

And we have some kind of cool-looking helmets that look kind of like motorcycle helmets at home.

These are those helmets that look that you just put it on and it's like you're asking to be bullied.

You know, they're just, there's nothing cool about them.

And I'm like, yeah, whatever, you know, it's safety first, right?

And we're driving strange roads and

whatever makes people happy.

And so Emily put her helmet on and she's pretty safety conscious.

She's been making me wear a helmet at home when I ride my bike.

And

so we put our helmets on and she's like, do I look stupid?

And I was like, no, yeah, but everybody does.

Everybody on a bike looks stupid with a helmet on.

That's cool.

You're just among the group, right?

And so we're riding along and just happy as can be, riding through sunny Michigan streets.

And up on the left is a guy walking a bike, an old dude, like think like old Ben and Jerry dude, scrawny, long beard, long, scraggly gray hair, got super skinny, got a pushing a bike in one hand, like a 10 speed in one hand and walking a dog in the other, right?

Real crunchy looking dude.

And

we drive by him and he looks at us and he smiles and he goes,

Hey, pedal power!

Woo!

And waves at us.

And I go, hell yeah.

And I wave back at him.

And Emily, we get a few feet down the road and Emily goes, Did that man just make fun of us?

Did he make fun of me?

And I go, what do you mean?

And she goes, did he call us ninja turtles?

And I go, I'm sorry, what?

And she goes, do we look, is it because we have the helmets on?

Did he just call us ninja turtles?

And I'm like, what did you think he said?

She thought when we rode by, the guy yelled, hey, turtle power.

Like, he was making fun of us for looking like ninja turtles because we had helmets on in some way.

And I was like, no, but she looked like, I'm sure she wasn't, but she looked like maybe she was about to cry.

Like, she was really offended that somebody yelled, called her a ninja turtle.

And I was like, oh, no, yes.

She got bullied.

He was complimenting us on riding bikes.

And she was like, oh, I'm not sure.

And I was like, I promise you, he yelled pedal power, not turtle power.

Maybe if turtles wore the shells on their heads, that'd be more accurate.

That was so fucking funny, dude.

I don't know how she got turtle power out of that and how that turned into her

just preying on her natural insecurities from wearing a bike helmet and looking silly.

But man, it was, I fucking laughed.

I turtle powered for the next two weeks.

Hell yeah.

I mean, they were skateboarders, right?

The turtles?

Are they skateboarding?

I feel like.

Yeah, they skateboarded sometimes.

Yeah.

That's my one thing interesting that happened on my trip to Michigan.

Other than

two weeks.

Something

it was a peaceful time.

I watched a lot of sports with Dwight and Kent, went to a Tigers game, you know, had ate a million good things.

One thing I did eat, though, and I was texting you guys about it or slacking you guys about it that I figured we should address.

We're coming up on what actually, Nick, what date is this episode release?

30th.

This comes

30th.

Yep, the 30th.

Yep.

This is awesome.

So this comes out July 30th.

Yeah, that's right.

Perfect because July 31st is the final day of our year of hot dogs.

Oh, it is?

Yeah, we started on August 1st.

So you go August 1st, August 1st.

So July 31st, tomorrow will be the last full day for people to eat hot dogs to hit their national average if that's a thing that they're trying to do.

Or just to see, because it's not, you know, it's not a contest.

National average being 70-ish, I think.

And just to be clear, the day that we're recording this is the 14th.

of July.

So we're a little ahead, a couple weeks ahead of our cutoff date.

The last day being the 31st, the last day of hot dogs, but the first day of Gerplers

being August the 1st at 1 p.m.

Ooh, yeah, that's a Friday.

And so be there on twitch.tv slash the regulation pod, and you can see that.

And then their regulation store.com or regulation store.store.

So where you can get the Gerpler.

But guys, if you were talking about, I mean, do you foresee yourself eating more dogs before the end of this?

Well, that's

kind of where I want to go with this.

And by the way, definitely go celebrate a year of hot dogs by buying a Cosmic Gerpler.

And while you're there, we have Idiot Flags and other stuff in the stock.

You can go to the store right now.

You don't have to wait.

There's stuff in the store for you to buy.

I feel like I don't do a good job of mentioning that in the podcast, and I should.

You can buy idiot flags.

There's two different t-shirts.

I think there might be four t-shirts you can get or three.

There's all kinds of stuff.

We got stuff.

We got stuff.

Anyway.

One of the first things I did when I got to Michigan was hit up a cone, right?

Because Michigan is a hot dog state and I look at it as sort of like a hot dog Shangri-La.

I always know I'm going to pack him in when I get up there.

Went to a Kony place on day two.

I think I was there.

Ordered some, ordered some dogs, sat down, got my hot dog, looked like I'm fucking just a lovely bog standard Kony.

And

I realized

something.

that quite shocked me.

I didn't want to eat it.

It's the first time I think I, someone has put a hot dog in front of me and I didn't want it.

And that was, you know, we've come a long way since the original prompt that I issued you guys over a year ago now, which was just what's one food you don't say no to when it's offered to you, right?

For me, it was hot dogs.

I think I have found my limit.

I ate that hot dog because I needed to and because I paid for it.

And I, it, it was fine.

It was what a hot dog should taste like.

But I think I just hit a limit where hot dogs are no longer appetizing to me currently.

Wasn't sure.

Like, I was like, maybe I have an off day, right?

Maybe things aren't going.

Maybe it was just a weird day.

I've been traveling.

I got travel tummy.

Who knows?

You just got called a ninja turtle, like things like that.

I just got bullied by an old hippie on a bike.

Yeah.

Like, I, uh, so I waited a couple days, avoided hot dogs, focused on pizza.

Then I went to a tigers game, got myself a game dog.

You can't go wrong with a game dog, right?

It was a struggle to eat it.

You're ducked out.

You're going doged out.

You're dogged out.

Guys, I'm officially dogged out.

I don't know if anything's going to change between the recording of this, July 14th and July 31st, but I...

Oh, and that's a delicious looking dog.

I very well may, those are my two dogs.

Yeah.

And you can't see it, but there's onions and peppers under that dog.

They're just, it's laid on top of them.

I very well may be done with hot dogs.

Not forever, like a corn dog.

Absolutely.

But after a year of hot dogs i may i'm considering taking a year off of hot dogs really

i think the this is a more interesting experiment to see how many dogs it takes you to get dogged out because how many corn dogs dogged you out a lifetime of them i don't know but in that one year it can't have been more than like 20 surely was it oh no surely it wasn't more than 20.

yeah so i don't know what i'm at like 58 or 59 maybe I don't know, somewhere around the high 50s.

I don't know what my current count is, but it.

I don't think an experiment has ever been so skewed by the act of measuring it in all of human history.

At no point were any average.

I definitely ate 40 more hot dogs than I would have.

I think everyone did.

I think I ruined hot dogs for myself in the near future in the service of this podcast.

I think the hot dog boat is going to pass you by again.

I think it'll come back.

I agree.

I agree.

It'll come back.

But man.

Yeah, so we found out your dogged out count, and it's going to be interesting to see how long it takes for you to bounce back.

Yeah.

I want to make a prediction that he eats one more before the count's done for the.

I'm going to eat one more, I guarantee you, because at some point between now and July 31st, Eric and I will go to Nunya together.

That's all I was thinking about was there's no way he's not eating a dog from Nunya.

Like there's just no way he's not.

I'll eat the Nunya dog, which is, by the way, I saw him post about it.

It's like the nat, it's kind of like naturally a smash dog, he was saying oh that's great it's all cut up and stuff it's really good it's great i feel like if i go to nanya i might i might be able to get double digits before the end of the year i agree they look delicious let's go monday when you're back in town all right it's back tuesday tuesday when you're back in town

i could go monday at night i figured that jeff and i don't mean to be critical of the place i feel like that first dog you posted very unappetizing i think maybe that would be it visually i think it doesn't look good but that second second dog looks beautiful.

It's a perfect looking dog.

That first one does look dog shit.

Yeah, it looks visually very ugly.

It's a bog standard cone.

It's just chili and onions and then a hot dog in there.

It's fucking, they're delicious.

This cheese is, I think.

Not criticizing the taste in any way, just visually unappetizing.

It also might be the fault of the photographer, not the hot dog.

You know, maybe.

We got to throw that into it too.

But yeah, so if anybody, like, not only did I not, I think, hit the national average, average, I think I ruined hot dogs trying to do it at least, at least for a while.

Really kind of bummed about it.

I predict

that it will be back by June of next year.

So it'll only take me 11 months to recover, not 12?

I think so.

I think once we maybe,

no, I think June.

I think once it starts feeling summery.

you'll get that itch again.

Maybe.

I hope so.

But as we said, I don't think you're gone.

I think you're like, you're like a hot dog lighthouse in the night, and the boats just aren't coming through for a little bit.

But you're still looking.

You're still shining that light out there trying to find it.

I don't want to be off the dog.

It's not a choice that I'm making.

It's a choice that my stomach is making for me, unfortunately.

It is.

We'll see.

We'll see.

We'll see.

We will find out.

We'll find out.

I had a very exciting rabbit hole I went down, big lore drop.

I watched the movie The Edge recently,

which is a film starring Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin, and there's a bear in it.

And that's all I knew about it is it's a movie about Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin fighting a bear.

And it was fun.

It's a movie that takes itself too seriously at times and it's completely cartoonish and ridiculous during it.

But

and I'm glad I didn't see this in theaters because it would have been an unintentional moment.

It is supposed to be a very intense movie where they're getting chased by a man-hunting bear that they have to deal with.

And then you get to the end credits, and the end credits, the first thing that appears

is

it transitions from

how did you survive this vicious thing that killed other men?

to shout out to our homie Bart the Bear for making this movie with us.

We like Bart the Bear.

That's the thanks, big ups, for your work in this film which immediately led me to google bart the bear i needed to see what other films he had been in and it did not disappoint his imdb i will say unfortunately for bart the bear was typecasted a lot as the bear

he has so many roles that are just bear or the bear he got to be walking thunder that was exciting but my personal favorite role of his was the bear attacking children and fighting airy schweig

I just love that they shouted out the name of the bear so I could Google the bear, which was not a thing when this movie came out, and immediately go deep on the bear lore.

Bart the bear was in a bunch of movies, had a brother, I believe, that I'm blanking their name, right?

A tank or brick or something.

That means in that CV series, there surely were other bears not attacking children.

Like if they had to specify.

That's a great, I didn't even consider that implication.

But I guess there's a whole line of bears.

There was a Bart 2, which is unrelated to Bart, but the same people trained it and just named it Bart 2.

And then Bart 2 had a sister, I think, that was in more movies.

Brad Pitt made a documentary, I think, about Bart the Bear for the National Geographic Channel.

I don't know why he was dealing with Bear, but the more I learned about Bart the Bear, what a rabbit hole I went on.

And just what a strange, the idea of like...

animal IMDB pages thinking about them making like career choices as an actor really amused me like Bart's mulling over

the next batch of scripts to see which one makes the most sense for him.

Absolutely.

Like he really wants to be in 12 monkeys, but does he want to be the bear again?

It's tough.

It's a tough choice.

Has anybody else seen that movie The Edge?

No.

No.

I saw it in the theater and the correct me if I'm wrong, Andrew, but the only thing I remember about that film is there's a scene where Alec Baldwin tells Anthony Hopkins, that's the spirit that beat the Japanese, which I always thought was such a wild thing to say.

Was he talking about the Japanese?

Referring to World War II, I believe.

But yeah, he's trying to toughen up Anthony Hopkins.

And he's also trying to kill Anthony Hopkins the whole time, too, right?

Because he's trying to steal his wife or something.

The look he's giving in the movie poster, I've seen him give that look to a lot of paparazzi.

It is a strange movie where Anthony Hopkins plays the billionaire to a model wife, and Alec Baldwin is the photographer of

the wife.

I guess like they regularly shoot together, and there is sort of a weird implication of their relationship dynamics, and then they end up crashing this scenario, and it's not really brought up until spoilers, Anthony Hopkins kills the bear, and then

what's very funny is they kill the bear, and then like the next transitional scene, they've made entire outfits out of the bear's remains.

Like, it took them five minutes to skin this bear and then sew together these very elaborate outfits.

Then they go to a little, they find a little hut and then Alec Baldwin's like, yeah, I'm going to murder you because I want to steal your money and be with your wife.

He just tells him.

Yeah, well, it's a really kind of

it's not very exciting of a reveal where Anthony Hopkins is looking for a thing to light.

And he opens up a gift that his wife gave him because it was his birthday the day before.

And he realized that on the receipt, it was also Alec Baldwin's watch that he got.

Like his wife bought like three different gifts for three different people at the same time.

And one of them was the watch.

It takes a very strange turn though, where he traps Alec Baldwin into a fall pit where he gets impaled through the thigh by a massive log.

And then he just saves him.

Like he doesn't kill him.

He then retrieves him from the thing and they go kayaking for a while.

And then it becomes a buddy comedy.

And then it becomes a buddy comedy.

And then Alec Baldwin's like, oh, it's crazy.

Rapids.

And then the bears wearing a watch as well.

Oh, the bear has a son and the sun shows up.

The sun bears not happy.

It's jaws.

It's jaws with bears.

It had some very odd casting too, where it's the...

You'll know his name.

The guy from Beverly Hills Cop that like is the

shop owner.

No, the other guy that's the shop owner that Eddie Murphy interacts with, and he comes back in the third movie, I think.

Shop owner?

What shop?

It's like he goes to like an art gallery.

The really sarcastic guy.

Yeah, the art gallery, dude.

There's like the European guy that has like a European accent in the movie.

Yeah.

I don't, I'm surprised you don't just know who this person is, Jeff.

Are you talking about Bronson Pinchot?

Yeah, maybe.

He plays Surge.

Yes, him.

He's in the edge, but he has no dialogue.

Okay.

I just thought that was going to be.

I thought that was strange.

I was expecting him to, like, be involved.

My main takeaway, though, from the Edge was that Bart the Bear exists.

It was a lot of fun to go down that rabbit hole of Bart the Bear.

I think that's the first time.

Eric's picture is the first time I've seen a bear cock.

Go look at this bear's unit.

Let's see.

It's weird that such a large, imposing animal is never referred to as like a large, like people go to horsecock a lot.

Nobody ever says he's hung like a bear.

Like a grizzly.

Yeah.

So maybe they're not that impressive.

I don't want to overdo this bit.

I think we'll have some separation from it.

But I have a new things I learned.

Oh, okay.

Oh, good.

I can't wait, man.

This is awesome.

Oh, yeah.

That's kind of connected to the edge a little bit.

You want to read those off, and we can pick one and we can sort of dissect it.

So, my three prompts are Hitman Fool, Doom is Here, and Bear Disease.

Can I ask how many of these things that you've learned have you learned?

I don't know what that means.

Well, last time you hadn't learned.

Oh, because I didn't know, because last time I asked a question, I get it.

Ah, funny bit.

Haha.

What's the bit?

You didn't

stuff you hadn't learned.

Yeah, but this is stuff I learned.

Oh, okay.

These are all things I've learned definitively.

But that's what you said last time, too.

Yeah, but I was.

Okay, what is Hitman Fool, Andrew?

Hitman Fool.

I realized that there is a map in Hitman.

So I've been replaying Hitman 3 because it has all of the Hitman games in it.

It has Hitman 1, Hitman 2, Hitman 3, at least all the games in the most recent trilogy.

And I've been going through and getting...

You call it level mastery.

So I've gone through, I've played some of these games multiple times.

I played Hitman 2 through level mastery at least twice.

Hitman 3, I've done it.

Doing it on Hitman 1 in Hitman 3.

And one of the challenges you get, so to get mastery on a level, you have to do a bunch of challenges.

And one of them is to discover all of the locations within the map.

So there are different rooms and sectors.

I didn't know that you could hit select and go into a map screen and just see a map.

And I've spent probably over 100 hours playing these Hitman games, this trilogy.

This is coming from a guy who recently complained about Minds Eye, where it has a mini map but no map.

Yep.

Yep.

But that's on Mind's Eye.

You never thought, oh, this mini map in Hitman doesn't have a full map.

I guess I've never felt the need to use it for how I play.

Like I'm just kind of walking around and holding right bumper to see.

Like I just never.

Yeah, you don't need the map.

You're good.

I don't need it.

I'm good.

But what I didn't realize is on the map, it tells you what areas you haven't visited before.

So up until this point, I would spend sometimes like two hours just scavenging every corner of a map, being like, I found 30 of 31 locations.

Where the fuck is this one room?

that I can't find.

All the while not knowing that I could have just hit select and then checked every area of the map immediately and figured out where I was missing.

It notifies it.

There's a marker as to where you haven't been.

Huge waste of time.

Such a big part of that game is the map.

Gav, can I ask a question just between you and I?

Can I be let off the hook now for not knowing about how to auto-aim and crackdown until after I beat it?

Because this seems way worse.

Yeah, it's definitely...

I think it's different because this is like mechanically, I'm not missing something within the game.

It's just like a map.

What are you talking?

Mechanically, you're missing the whole mechanic of the map.

I am not missing a mechanic in playing the game and like how I interact with the world as the character.

I would argue that's

the only service a map

provides in a video game is to help you interact with the game as the character.

Oh, it's so good.

It's like watching a coyote with his foot caught in a trap, just going like, I got to get out of this thing.

No, no, no.

I think there's a difference because what Jeff was doing, Jeff shoots somebody in Crackdown all the time.

That's all you're doing.

You're not always looking at a map in Hitman.

You sometimes would engage with it to like find your place or whatever.

You're not always shooting in Crackdown.

Sometimes you're what else are you doing?

You can punch people.

You can kick people.

You can drive.

You can fall asleep.

You can climb.

You can race and fall asleep.

If you're going to do a pie chart of things you're doing in Crackdown, 70% of it is firing weapons i bet if you were to do a pie chart and people that play the game properly in hitman look at the full map would come up a lot more than you realize i think less than 30 the original games you would have a live feed of where everyone was on the map too it's like how you knew where everyone was going to be on the other side of the door I've looked at the map in other Hitman games.

I just never engage with it in this trilogy.

Wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, hang on.

That makes it happy.

That's even worse.

What?

Hang on.

Wait, what?

Hang on.

Wait.

You use the map in other Hitman games?

Because it would, as Gavin said, it would actually show where the enemies are and like where the target is.

But in this one, you just use your intuition and you see.

You just see where they are.

You don't need the map.

That's so crazy.

They took the map out of this game.

That's so strange.

That's so strange.

Well, there were some pretty big changes in how Hitman worked, especially from like absolution to the original trilogy.

There's a big shift, absolution.

I would say it's worse because of this.

You played a version of Hitman before that had a full map.

So you had to load this version of Hitman up and go like, oh, I guess the map's gone.

I won't bother looking for it.

I was playing Crackdown 1.

I didn't know that there was a lock-on mechanic in the game because I had no previous knowledge with Crackdown.

I just missed that part of the tutorial.

So

with you, there's a legacy of map that you had experienced in Hitman.

So if you were going for Silent Assassin and you got hit by a camera, you wouldn't just look on the map where the security was to go and turn off the cameras.

You would just walk around until you found the office.

I mean, I would never like silent assassin is a thing I would do after multiple runs.

And by that point, I'd just know where the feeds were.

All right.

Like, you never go in thinking, like, I'm going to get silent assassin on my first try.

It's like the first time I play Hitman level, I am just walking around the map, scanning things and like registering personally.

Like, okay, this is here.

This this does that.

I can use this.

Like, it's just exploration.

There's nothing more satisfying than a first attempt, silent assassin.

I see, I would never even, that's just not how I play these games ever.

That's a later thing.

That is, uh, if I'm getting sweaty, but yeah, that is Hitman Fool.

The other options are Doom is Here and Bear Disease.

Doom is here.

I've been listening to the radio a lot recently.

I just have gotten in the habit of i enjoy i have an app that like i can listen to radio stations all across the world uh

and i just cycle through i just find random things my dad used to do that yeah

son

it's been so long um

i've just scanned through jeff you were in in vegas a while back throwing First pitch.

I believe I was throwing heat, as they say.

Yeah, you were throwing heat.

So I was in Vegas.

And so that's just has been like one of the areas in my app.

And I was like, oh, go back to Vegas.

And I was just cycling through.

And I'll use this to sleep a lot of the time too, where it has a sleep timer for like an hour.

It'll turn off automatically.

But I have an issue where if I listen to things I care about or enjoy, then I stay awake and I listen to them.

So I needed something that I didn't give a shit about at all.

And so I was like, oh, there's a religious radio station.

Let me throw this on.

I don't give a fuck about whatever's being said.

It's just noise.

Now, you mentioned a map.

Is this a full map or a mini map of these radio stations?

It's a full map, but in this one, it doesn't show the target locations, unlike previous iterations of the app.

And you also can't lock on to cities, despite what you may try to do.

I put this on, so I was listening to this religious radio station.

I didn't realize that there are people.

Like, I obviously get the God thing, believing in God or whatever.

I didn't know that there are people that are just like, there are demons on the streets.

That's crazy to me.

We live in doom in some people's eyes.

There's just straight up demons walking around.

Fucking nuts.

What?

Yeah, I think that's often why people will just kill their whole family is just to get rid of the demons.

Well, it's just, it was people just being like...

Like, oh, the Satan's out there and the demons and evil and whatnot.

It's like, that's fucking crazy.

I understood the idea of like being good or being a bad person, but to literally interpret the existence of demons walking around, like we're in these people's eyes, we're living in doom.

This is crazy.

So is it like a they live situation where we can't tell which?

I think so.

Yeah.

From my understanding.

Also, I'm not deep diving the station.

It was just I threw it on one evening and I was listening to a guy that sounded like Piglet tell me that demons were real.

And I was like, this

people have to be.

And I hope this isn't a controversial statement, but maybe it isn't.

I know who you're talking about.

Those people

have to be the dumbest motherfuckers on earth.

It's just wild for me to believe.

It just, it opens up so many other,

I guess.

I don't know.

It's just, it's wild.

I never processed the concept of literal demon acceptance or belief.

So that was something I learned.

I didn't know people actually thought that demons were walking around.

My last one.

Wait,

how did you not think people believed that?

I guess I just am not a religious person and I sort of understand the I guess it's sort of like Santa Claus to me where I get the concept of believing in the idea but not necessarily the literal symbolism of it taking it literally and taking it

like in a spiritual sense I think in my mind are very separate things.

So where would demons sit between the Easter bunny and God?

Somewhere below, I believe, right?

Logistically?

It's the hell thing?

Logistically?

Well, wait, isn't Easter Bunny god or something?

That's tied to religion in some way.

Yeah.

And what do you mean by that?

I mean that I've seen Greg the Bunny, and there was a thing where

the vampire was in a UFO and he was like, Easter Day.

This is the only podcast that talks about Greg the Bunny.

Is this our second Greg the Bunny reference this year?

Yes.

Yes.

We have this stuff talking about Greg the Bunny.

And then it was like Pons Pilot.

He's wearing aviator goggles.

And I don't know.

Greg the Bunny was pretty good.

There are some people who cannot exist in the world unless they find something to be terrified of and to hate.

And they look for demons under every pillow and corner of their lives.

It's sad.

I just look for them in Doom.

Have a good time with that.

Cool music and shoot some guns.

Anyway, bear disease.

Bart the bear died of cancer.

I didn't know that that was a thing bears could die of.

I didn't realize bears could get cancer.

Cancer's kind of everything, isn't it?

There's that popular fact that sharks can't get cancer, right?

Really?

Which means, in my head, I guess most stuff can get cancer.

I didn't know that fact.

I didn't know that about sharks.

Isn't the thing with sharks is that they could theoretically live forever if they just never caught any shark diseases.

Cancer being one that they can't get, but there are other diseases they can get.

I also heard if you turn one upside down, it goes to sleep.

Just like Albert.

Yeah, I guess how many, like, could a slug get cancer?

I don't know.

I assume so.

Based on Bart getting cancer, probably doesn't live long enough, you know.

How long does a slug live?

Let's all take guesses before I look it up.

I'm going to say

one month.

Okay.

Gavin?

Two years slug.

Two year slug and the other two?

18 months is going to be my guess for a slug.

Nick's already on vacation.

Are you playing GTA right now?

He's playing GTA.

How long does a slug live?

Slugs typically live for six to 18 months, but some species can live longer, up to three to four years.

So I think Eric and Gavin are both pretty dead on.

We're slug experts.

Huh.

I wonder if a slug that's been alive for four years is considered like a wisened old elder slug to the younger slugs.

And they just sit around like slug campfires and listen to stories.

They go and visit it in the slug cave.

I feel like animal lifespans are so often left out of animal facts.

That's what that's a really good point.

Like, I don't know how long a bat lives.

Which version?

What?

Which version of a bat?

Oh.

Bats typically live between 10 and 20 years in the wild, but some species can live for 30 years.

Shit.

The longest-lived bat on record was a male Brantz meiotis bat that lived to be 41 years old.

So there could be a bat alive right now from the 80s?

Yeah.

Probably not a lot of them, but one or two.

It'd be cool if you could, if there was a website that told you all the animals that were older than you right now.

oh

things i could learn from an elder bat i think you'd be mostly like

crabs and tortoises wouldn't it yeah what is the oldest animal alive right now let's see i'm gonna guess i don't want to go to this beach bunch of old ass crabs live here boomer beach is what i call this place that's gotta be like a 250 year old tortoise somewhere

according to google ai

The oldest living animal on earth is currently Jonathan the Seychell giant tortoise, estimated to be around 192 years old.

Damn.

I would have thought older.

Well, they think he was born around 1832.

Fuck, dude, I bet that dude's got some stories.

They're all slow, though.

Christ.

I was thinking about animals the other day.

What were you thinking about?

I wasn't sure if I was going to bring this up to you guys because it wasn't a fully formed thought yet.

Let's form it.

Here's what I have written down, and you guys can go from here.

Do you guys know how ants are organized and coordinated?

Yes.

Yeah.

They're units.

What if other animals were like that?

Oh, it's terrifying.

It's terrifying, right?

Like if birds behaved like ants or fucking

hedgehogs or raccoons behaved like ants, that would be terrifying.

Isn't a swarm of birds pretty organized?

Yeah, but like all they do is they fly organized and like they go from place to place.

They're not like getting fry bags as a as a crew.

They're not lining up in uh in a a mile long line and then carry like

taking one piece of sugar cube and handing it to the next guy and just going down like down the line over and over again.

You know what I mean?

Or uh

they're they're not tackling problems in that way.

Like you see ants that'll like build an ant bridge to a piece of food that's like precarious.

You're not seeing birds build bird bridges, you know, or you don't see, I don't know, dogs build dog bridges.

No.

I just think that we're lucky that other animals aren't as coordinated as

cats are.

If dogs are like cats got organized, they could take over cities instantly.

100%.

100%.

What's the like?

That's the thing.

It's too, it's like ants.

Cool.

I'm not too worried about ants.

I can eliminate ants.

But how much bigger does the organism have to get before it becomes scary?

Like, if you saw, I don't know, know, 500 cockroaches in unison doing ant stuff.

Oh my god,

that might be scary.

You see 500 ants, you don't think twice.

You see 500 cockroaches in unison, you might, you probably, uh,

probably need to have yourself think you're like, I need, probably need to be evaluated.

I'm, I'm clearly losing my mind.

Same with like flies.

Oh, Jesus, fire.

You just start looking for a body.

Like flies marching in an order.

or flying in a single file line.

You know what I mean?

I wonder how many mosquitoes it would take to drain somebody of blood fully.

Dear God, I bet the unit knows.

Hold on.

How many mosquitoes?

Like, if there was like a wave of mosquitoes and you just got bit like 10, like, well, it would be way more than that.

Let's say like 100,000 times.

Would it look like a big blob of red flying off into the distance?

That's my answer.

What, really?

Anyone want to take a guess on how many mosquitoes it takes to drain a human of blood?

Dude, I just wouldn't even know where to start.

There's

4 million.

Okay.

10 million.

Million.

I'm going to guess 45,000.

What are we doing here?

Dude,

I think it's got to be somewhere like 90.

I mean, like, really doubling up on Gavin.

I think it's going to be like 90,000.

You guys are shooting a little low.

It would take approximately 1.2 million mosquitoes to completely drain the average human of their blood.

A single mosquito can consume about 0.005

millimeters of blood.

While the average human has about five liters.

If If I splat a mosquito and a bunch of blood goes,

are you saying I could have a million splats worth of blood?

Well, you'd be pretty weak before you.

Yeah, you'd probably

at around 500,000, you'd start to, you'd probably,

you'd probably get pretty tired and do a little less splatting.

The only thing I know is it takes 10,000 bee stings to kill a man.

It's a firm fact right there.

10,000.

Tell that to Macaulay Calkin and my girl.

Oh, he had an allergy.

I was referencing Bear Volleyball, jackass thing.

Oh, yeah.

Where they have like 100,000 bees and their animal experts like takes 10,000.

And Dave Ingen's like, what are we doing here?

What do you mean?

We've got 10 times as many as he just said it takes to kill somebody.

I would be.

I think the mosquitoes.

I don't like mosquitoes.

That'd be a lot.

But ants.

Who does?

Ants would be a problem too.

Who likes mosquitoes?

Who's pro-mosquito?

You said that

it was going to be a matter of time.

They made Mr.

Mosquito.

It was a game.

They made a game for it.

There are people that like being mosquitoes.

Mosquito heads out there.

I'm on the record of saying I don't like mosquitoes.

Sorry if that's controversial.

That's what I mean.

I think what could be fun, though, if they coordinated like ants, if you have enough of them, is imagine like waking up and your bed is in a different place.

Like they lifted your bed because they're so strong as a unit.

That sounds scary as hell.

Yeah.

You just travel places, save on gas, just get a bunch to lift the car.

And

I mean, now we're kind of getting into granded territory or like, I want to be able to control.

I guess this is like probably a Marvin villain, a Marvel, Marvin.

Marvin Comics.

It would be a Marvin Comics.

It's an idea not good enough for Marvel.

It's the knockoff offshoot Marvin Comics.

The ant, the ant.

Mega, mega ant.

What would it be?

What would the villain name be?

Guy who tries to control the ants with his mind.

Ant man, but

knock on already exists.

But you want the knockoff?

He's friends with Mrs.

Miss Mob.

Who's the knockoff Paul Rudd?

Yeah, no kidding.

Oh, who is the knockoff Paul Rudd?

I don't know.

Nobody comes to mind for me.

Paul Rudd is a very specific guy.

Who is the guy that played Gambit in Wolverine Origins?

Oh, yeah, who's Channing Tatum?

No.

No, Taylor Kitch.

Taylor Kitch.

Also the Star of Battleship.

Yes, Star.

Star of Battleship.

Never saw that one.

Was that the...

Was Rihanna in that movie?

She was.

That's about the thing.

I wonder what Rihanna's film career looks like.

Because I know she was in Battleship and she's in the Smurse movie that comes out.

Which everybody should see, by the way.

Need that movie to make about $350 million.

She's in this is the end.

I don't think I could name another Rihanna movie, which is sort of surprising.

I feel like she's probably been in more.

Or maybe she stopped.

Maybe she made Battleship and was like, I got all I need from this acting experience for a little while.

Let's see.

Oh, she was in some other big hitters.

She was in Valerian and the city of a thousand, whatever

planets.

What a weird

battleship to Valerian is such an interesting one, too.

She was in

a lot of Oceans Eight, she was in.

Oh, I didn't seen that one.

Oh, yeah.

Bates Motel, she was in

two episodes.

Do you think we could do a draft of movie directors who forgot how to make movies?

That's very specific.

Going from Fifth Element to Valerian would be on my list.

Or like

directors who made good movies and then disappeared and just didn't make anything else.

Like Tob Hooper made two of my favorite movies and then disappeared.

Hmm.

Tobe.

Tobe Hooper?

You don't know him?

No.

He's the guy that directed the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Oh.

And then

he also directed a movie called Invaders from Mars that is one of my favorite movies of all time.

80s, like kids' horror movie.

Oh, that's fun.

Yeah, it is fun.

It's awesome.

What's the name of the saw guy?

Isn't he like Tobe Hooper or something?

Guy that plays jigsaw.

Tobin Bell.

Tobin Bell.

I knew there was a Tobin there.

Good pull, Nick.

Thank you.

That's Redemption for the slug right there.

Pulling Tobin Bell.

Slug for the first time.

The kids redemption.

I want to watch Changing Eliants.

I just watched The Edge.

I have a list of movies.

That's why I watched The Edge.

Guys.

Guys.

Guys.

I want to watch Changing Eliants.

Well, let me explain.

I have a list of movies and The Edge was one of them.

Were there movie store movies where I've never heard anyone talk about them?

I've just seen the poster a lot and I don't know anyone who's seen them.

I've never heard any discourse around them and changing lanes is one of those for me.

Don't know what it's about.

Don't know anyone who's seen it.

Have never heard anybody talk about it.

Feels like it could be a fake movie, but I've seen it so many times.

That poster, that's all I know.

It's a Ben Affleck movie, right?

Oh, yeah, there you go.

The Ben Affleck, Samuel Jackson, they're probably changing lanes.

I don't know anything else about it, but I'm excited to watch it.

Has been my, my recent, how I've been watching movies.

The Edge was a similar thing of like, I know a bear's involved, but that's all I know.

I don't know what this is.

Similarly,

I stumbled into a movie that I'm going to watch called Death Valley that I just bought on Blu-ray.

Okay.

And

it stars a young Peter Billingsley

before he was in.

I'm assuming it was before.

Hold on.

let me.

I'm trying to find the poster.

What is this movie?

Death Valley.

Has anyone seen Changing Lanes while you're pulling that up?

No.

No.

See, nobody's seen this fucking movie.

No.

But it was all like.

I know about it.

I've just never, you know, I've never seen it.

Weird.

What's your Death Valley about, Jeff?

So it's Peter Billingsley.

He's a young kid.

He's imagine him a little bit younger than in his role in a Christmas story.

He

lives with his dad, like in New York.

I'm just going off the trailer.

And his mom remarries or has a new boyfriend and he has to go spend a vacation with his mom and her new boyfriend.

And it's like

Billy thought the worst thing he would do today would be to say goodbye to his father or maybe having to get to know his mother's new boyfriend.

But the worst thing he's gonna have to do today is survive.

And then it's a he and his mom and his mom's boyfriend go to Death Valley on a vacation.

To drive, I don't know, just driving through nothing in Death Valley, but a serial killer latches onto them and chases them down and tries to kill them.

And it's all about Peter Billingsley at like eight years old, running from a serial killer in the desert.

Isn't that where The Undertaker's from?

Death Valley?

I believe so.

Yeah.

For all I know,

for all I know, he's the serial killer.

I haven't seen it yet.

I hope he saves them.

The tagline is not even a scream escape, so that's pretty cool.

So maybe while you watch Changing Lanes, I'll watch my Blu-ray of Death Valley.

Ah, shit.

What dog shit should I watch?

Do you not have movies that you've seen posters of Gavin that you just like, you don't know anything about?

The Clumps.

The Clumps is a great one.

It's a great one.

You should watch The Clumps.

Oh man, really?

I don't want to watch The Clumps.

You said it, dude.

You said it, man.

It's too late.

You brought it up.

Oh, what about Sliding Doors?

Has anyone seen that?

I don't even know what Sliding Doors is.

No, I don't think I've seen Sliding Doors.

What is Paltrow?

And it's like a whole thing where like

if she got on the train, her life would have been different and then she dies or something like that.

She'd like be a brunette, I think is like the difference.

Like she had like different haircuts.

See, to me,

Sliding Doors is like a changing Lane's ass type of movie name.

Yes.

That's what I thought.

Do you think that Eddie Murphy had like one bad...

One bad movie with a co-star like he had one bad experience and was like never again and just decided that he would be all of his co-stars

It's such a weird thing that he has so many movies where he's playing like all nine of the characters that are in.

When did he first do it?

Was it coming to America?

Probably coming to America.

Yeah.

I assumed he was like,

if I don't cast anybody else in this film, I can keep all the extra money.

If I play every character, I'll just...

I'll just be, I'll just get, yeah, I'm just going to get, I'm just going to pay myself for each role I'm in.

What if it was like an all-time scam where they didn't know it was him playing all the roles when they hired him?

Yeah, like the casting director just thought he was just meeting six different actors and the studio was like, wow, we got a lot of new people we've never heard of in this movie.

Eddie Murphy really trying to bring new people in.

We're giving out a lot of sag cards, it looks like, in this thing.

And it's just him.

He's in sag eight times.

I'd like to imagine it continued off-screen or like he had a chef character he would play and he'd make the meals.

Like it's just Eddie Murphy profiting every way he can.

He's taking every job.

I would love to know if Eddie Murphy ever dreams about other people he's played.

Or does he like he's he is those people?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I want to see a remake in the movie Identity, but with the cast of the Clumps.

I want all the alternate personalities to just be Clumps characters.

Is the original Nutty Professor...

Are they called the Clumps in that?

I don't think I ever.

I think I watched it as a child, and I don't remember anything about it.

I mean, like, the old, old one.

Oh, the original, not his first?

Yeah.

Because I assume he was still a clump in the first one, but was the original character the clump?

Yeah, but do you think the clumps were in the first one, or do you think they brought the clumps in for the second one?

Well, I mean, he was a clump, wasn't he?

Wasn't he always a clump?

I'm assuming he was always a clump, but I'm curious if this cast of characters.

If he's a clump, he's got to come from a line of clumps.

He definitely will, but I was curious if the line of clumps was in the first or if we're getting introduced to all these clumps in the second one.

I'm pretty sure a lot of the clumps were in the first one.

Then why me?

I don't.

I mean, I haven't seen the nutty professor.

It just feels like a weird thing to be like, you know what, the second thing, we're going to make a sequel.

And instead of it being like about goofy science, let's focus in on the clumps.

I think that people really want some clumps in their life.

Jerry Lewis's name in the first nutty professor is Professor Julius Kelp.

Oh, so the sequel would have been the Kelps.

Yeah, so he went from Kelp to Klump.

They modernized it.

His alternate ego is Buddy Love.

That's why he's the cool guy.

Well, he's Buddy Love in the new one, too.

But yeah.

I like the

I've seen the first clump.

I've seen the first Nutty Professor.

I've seen the first clump.

I've seen the first clump.

I've seen OG Clump where he's buddy love.

You've never seen OG Kelp.

I've never seen Kelp, and I've never seen Nutty Professor 2 the Clumps.

Would you rather watch Nutty Professor 2 the Clumps or the original Nutty Professor starring Jerry Lewis?

The original Nutty Professor.

Well, maybe that should be the movie you watch.

Eric's going to watch Sliding Doors.

You're going to watch Nutty Professor.

I didn't say I wanted to watch Sliding Doors.

I don't want to watch Nutting Doesn't Dead Valley.

I don't want you to watch Changing Lane.

Because you posted it.

And then Nick's going to watch something too.

Nick, what are you going to watch?

Oh, that's a good question.

You're ever here bitching about watching Sliding Doors.

That was a well-reviewed movie.

That's going to be.

I wasn't the one who brought it up.

I brought up Sliding Doors.

What?

I didn't have anything.

I posted the picture.

I posted pictures of a bear.

I posted Chasing Lanes.

Like, what are you talking about?

Picture posting is nine-tenths of the law.

Oh, my God.

Did they do a nutty professor 3?

Did we ever see the clumps again?

I think we need to get the clumps back.

I can't believe you never saw the first one.

I feel like every kid rented that for a birthday.

I think I may have seen it in theaters as a kid, but like, I don't remember about it.

Did they have toys for the nutty professor?

I feel like I may have got a happy meal toy or like a Burger King toy for them.

Do you remember a bit where he's massive and he farts and

an explosion?

No.

he's like the size of a building i that might have been a dream sequence i'm not sure

i'm not sure that was canon to the story no

i don't uh

yeah i can't i don't have any memories of the nutty person oh my god oh my god i have to take a shit

let's end this wrap up i keep sending the message to wrap up i keep saying it yeah but this isn't right i have taken five shits today already oh that's uh-oh how do i have to take a sixth shit it's what it's 116 in the afternoon road trip you get traveled but sometimes wow but it didn't hit me till today i got home at noon yesterday speaking of which i had a really good time driving from austin to michigan that's not a bad drive i mean it's like a two-day drive but i will say this uh little rock arkansas and texarkana are

dog shit

No offense to anybody who lives there, but man,

not great places to hang out.

Is there a Little Rock in Little Rock?

Like there is is a round rock and round rock that is in that round.

Is there a little rock that is in that little?

Name a place that doesn't have a little rock.

Mars.

Oh, that's a bad one.

Talking about rocks.

Wrap these up.

Is there a definite rocket?

Guys, we're going to wrap this up.

As we go out, we're going to learn a little bit about

the Little Rock.

Little Rock.

It is a now reduced stone outcrop projecting in the Arkansas River from its south bank in the city's waterfront area adjacent to Junction Bridge.

I think I was actually by Junction Bridge, whose foundations include a portion of the rock.

Yeah, so I guess it's kind of gone, but there is a bronze plaque mounted on it.

Hell the original rock was 18 feet above the river.

We should buy one of those rest in peace benches, but just put the clumps on it.

What do you mean the dedication?

Clumps on it.

Just run

clumps.

I just think it's funny that there's a clumps bench.

That just makes me happy.

The premise that like you sit at a bench and you you're like oh who who's this in dedication to oh the clumps

so you want to dedicate just a bench in but does it have to can it be in little rock a little rock bench anywhere

it doesn't even have to be a legal bench we could just put a bench somewhere that says the clumps on it

ain't nobody stopping benches I feel like we should just put all these dog shit movies on a wheel and watch one of them.

We could end up watching a clump.

Why?

We can't even finish charmed.

Yeah, but

maybe after we finish charmed, we could do that.

If somebody would let us finish it.

You're real worked up about watching more charmed.

I don't think that's the reason we're worked up, buddy.

You're acting like episode three is coming out next week.

I can't figure out, honestly, and maybe you guys can help me out here as we end this episode.

I can't figure out if Gavin is rescheduling.

Charmed episode three because of

just scheduling issues or because he can't bring himself to watch any more of it and he just needs a buffer.

Well, let me tell you something that might blow your mind.

I had a really good time making Wheel of Decade.

I enjoyed it.

I enjoyed the hell out of it, but nobody else seemed to in the process of it.

I like

us.

All right.

Well, let's go ahead and take old Yeller back around the barn and put a bullet in its head.

It's got

and rabies and uh well i spoiled it for you unfortunately uh

we're gonna have to put it down much like episode 64 of the regulation podcast it is in the ground we are throwing dirt over it there's

ladies crying in the corner there's vaseline everywhere the dirt is covered in vaseline and you'll be covered in vaseline too and glory If you tune in next week for episode 65 of the regulation podcast, don't forget we have a Patreon.

Andrew, you're going to hit us with the patreon address mars

okay

uh uh patreon regulation patreon

patreon slash the regular uh why do we always throw it to andrew eric

i just want to see him get it right once patreon the regulation podcast patreon slash the regulation podcast thanks for listening bye regulatreon.com check out our our online web store at gavin

store

it's in store dot store regulation store.com or regulation store.store.

You can tell this is a business that we are all personally invested in and care about its success.

Thank you so much for listening.

We'll see you next week.

Bye.

Bye.