Geoff vs The Universe // Getting Delicate [50]

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hello and welcome to the regulation podcast this is number 50.

my name is jeff ramsey with me as always andrew eric gavin and nick i was afraid i would forget your names it's been so long since i've talked to you all

well it has been a while it's been a while some time to the audience though it's no time at all Yeah, seemless.

It seems to the audience, but I've been gone for the better part of about three weeks.

I had two trips back to back.

I went on a vacation with my family to Greece and Turkey.

I went on a cruise and then I did some land stuff.

And so, I, by the way,

we'll get into it later at some point when I've collected my thoughts.

But Turkey, Turkey, may be the greatest place on earth.

I've heard that.

I've heard Turkey smell.

Wow.

Jesus Christ, do I love Turkey?

Honestly, it's a fantastic place.

Greece, pretty good.

Turkey, way better.

No offense to Greece.

Taste it pretty good.

I think that's pretty good.

Athens is like a 82.

Turkey's a 96, man.

Everywhere you go.

Anyway, but I was really, really looking forward to today because I've genuinely missed you guys more than I knew I could miss.

I missed you too.

We all look forward to spending time together so much.

And to take such an extended break was way more difficult than I realized it would be.

And so

I keep up in the Slack, you know, and so I'm watching you guys have fun and test out new shows and stuff.

And man, the only time I've ever experienced FOMO in my life, I think, is in that Slack when I see you guys doing stuff

that I don't get to be a part of, which is the best FOMO to experience because I know whatever you guys are doing is fucking magic and I can't wait to watch it, you know.

So

I'm coming in today at a bit of a deficit, and I'd like to tell you a story about how I arrived at this microphone.

So

I was on this cruise for I think 15 days,

and we left Istanbul at 2 in the morning, flew to Frankfurt, had about a four-hour delay over there, and then flew from Frankfurt straight to Austin, which was awesome.

We were getting in the plane, though, and they go, due to some intense headwinds, we're going to have to add more fuel to the plane.

We want to make sure we have enough to get there.

That's because...

They knew we were going to get our asses kicked.

Boy, did we.

It took an extra two hours to get home on that flight.

So, what was like an 11 and a half hour flight was like a 13 and a half hour flight just because it fucking wins.

Yeah.

And so by the time we roll into Austin, it's been 20 hours of travel, right?

So I'm a fucking zombie.

We get in about 4 p.m.,

get home, love Albert a little bit, and then Emily is trying so hard to stay awake, but she just crashes.

And I think I got to stay awake because at 6 a.m., I have to be back at the airport for another flight.

I have to go out of town just for one night to go deal with something and then come back.

So I'm home for 15 hours and I'm like, this 15 hours is going to be a nightmare because I feel like a zombie.

I have got such jet lag.

You wouldn't even believe.

Jet lag gets worse as you get older, actually.

I read about it a little bit.

And I'm older.

So I decide I can't go to sleep.

I cannot go to sleep.

So I'm doing dishes.

I do all the laundry from the trip.

i uh i'm just doing all kinds of stuff i manage to stay up till about 9 p.m and then i crash hard until about 11.

and then i wake up and then i do that thing where you go to sleep for you think it's like an hour and a half but it's really 18 minutes and you're like come on and you go back to sleep and you're like oh it must be five in the fuck it's been 23 minutes mother i did that till about 4 a.m and then at 4 a.m i gave up and i was laying in bed i was laying in bed i already told eric this part and i got to thinking about everything i have to do this week.

And I was like, man, thank God Jeff was so smart to do a bunch of so all rights in advance.

So I don't have to record one this week because I got that robots one coming out.

And then I looked at my phone and the robots episode had just come out.

And I go, oh, I miscounted.

I have to do a so-all right.

And I'm thinking, all right, well, I'm out of town Tuesday.

I'm out of town Wednesday.

We're going hard on Thursday and I assume Friday.

So what am I going to do like a so-all right on Saturday?

Like at some point, I would like a day not to do shit, you know?

And so I'm just laying there there and i think i just i can't go back to sleep i got to do it now so i rolled out of bed and i did a soul all right at uh 4 30 in the morning that is maybe the worst thing the worst thing i have ever done

i haven't even gone back to listen to it yet but i just didn't see any other time to do it so and it was just all about how exhausted i was right and uh i can't imagine i'll be i'll be happy if it's in english honestly if i can understand what i'm saying and uh and then by the time i was done it was like 5 15 and I have to be at the airport at like six.

And so I was like, or 6:30, you know, and I was like, oh, fuck.

So I take a shower and I just go to the airport a little bit early because what else am I going to do?

And

then I get on my plane and I travel and I go, I get off the plane and go straight to the thing that I got to do and deal with all that.

It's stressful, but it's good.

And it needed to be done.

And clearly, obviously, not something I can talk about on the podcast because I'm talking around it.

And then I eat a hamburger for dinner from Uber Eats.

I somehow fucked up my Uber Eats order and sent my hamburger to a building five blocks away.

So by the time the guy got it to me, I was just, I was, it was like a barbecue burger and it was kind of cold.

And I was kind of, as Gavin would say, mingin.

And

I couldn't even finish it.

And I don't know if this hamburger is a part of the problem or if it was just a punctuation on a long couple of days.

Oh, no.

But

then I go to bed and I'm able to sleep from about, I don't know, 10, that same kind of shit, like waking up every 20 minutes.

You're in an uncomfortable hotel room in a different room.

All I want on earth is to be in my bed and I can't be, you know, I'm just like pretty defeated at this point.

And so I wake up, wake up, wake up again at four in the morning.

And so I just lay in an uncomfortable hotel room bed from 4 a.m.

until my flight isn't till 1:40 in the afternoon.

I couldn't get an earlier flight.

And so

at about 9 a.m.,

I just, I was hungry.

I was starving.

And I didn't want to eat any shitty hotel food.

I don't want to eat any shitty airport food either, but I was just miserable and uncomfortable.

And I thought, I'm just going to go to the airport.

Fuck it.

I'll just go to the airport early.

I can sit in the Admiral's Club.

You know, thank God the gift of 20 years of travel at Rooster Teeth is that I have Admiral's Club, you know, essentially for the rest of my life, which is helpful.

And so I was like, I'll just go to the Admiral's Club and I'll just sit in there and

kill three and a half hours, it turns out.

So

I get dressed, I get all my shit, order my Uber, get into my Uber.

Biggest, meanest Russian dude I've ever seen in my entire life.

Car is like a hot box.

It's so hot, I'm sweating.

Guy won't look at me, make contact with me.

He says three things over and over again.

Well, he says one thing three ways over and over again.

I'll tell you in a second.

Anyway, also,

wonderfully, car reeks of cigarette smoke.

So being in a hot car reeking of cigarette smoke, Google says,

or Uber says it's going to take 44 minutes to get to the airport.

It took an hour and 17 minutes to get to the airport because of traffic, which is the only thing this guy said.

He said it three ways.

When he was mad, he would say, fucking traffic.

And when he wanted to communicate with me, he would go, fucking traffic.

And then when he was just like really flustered under his breath, he would just go, fucking traffic.

And that was it.

That's all he said for an hour and 17 minutes or whatever.

And it was the most uncomfortable ride in my entire life.

And by the time I got out of the car, I was not feeling great.

I'm imagining the guy in Home Alone 2 when Kevin almost gets in that cab with the scary guy.

Except you got in.

Kind of.

He's got like, he's got like a sweatshirt on with cutoff sleeves and like Russian tattoos and shit, you know, and I'm like, well, they definitely got those in jail, you know.

So I don't, you know, I'm not John Wick or anything.

I'm not trying to get into some kind of a fucking cool guy fight.

And so I

just stomach the cigarette smoke.

So when I get out of the airport, I'm not feeling great.

And I think, ah, no problem.

I'm really mostly just hungry.

I'm fucking starving because that burger was not it.

And I go to the Admiral's Club.

I look at my watch.

I've got just under four hours before my flight at this point, I think.

Or no, maybe three like three and a half hours maybe and i shouldn't i shouldn't exaggerate and i go sit in a chair and i just can't get comfortable and i just go sit in a different chair and i can't get comfortable and i think i just oh i'll go get some food and i go see the food and admirals club american airlines sucks yeah

when it comes to food at the admiral's club they're the lowest of the low i've been in a lot of delta and united holy shit dude turkish airways i was in the at the turkish airways club jesus christ I don't want to leave.

I wanted to move in there.

Oh my God.

They even have video games and shit.

They have a whole golf thing.

You can like practice your golf swing in there and they'll just make whatever food you want.

Anyway, so I get some, and at this point, my stomach's starting to feel like, oh, do I feel a little crazy?

So I get a banana.

I get the, like, the safest things I could think.

I get a banana and I get

oatmeal.

And I eat the banana.

And I'd start to eat the oatmeal.

And something's like, you shouldn't continue this.

And I'm like, okay, well, I'm not going to eat the oatmeal then.

but I know I'm fucking dehydrated and I need nutrients.

So I'm like, oh, they have orange juice.

They have super watered down Admiral's Club orange juice.

If you've ever had Admiral's Club orange juice, you know what I'm talking about.

It's like 80% water and like, and just a little bit of juice for coloring, right?

And so I start slamming those.

I get about four of them in me and then I'm starting to feel really rough.

I feel bloated.

And I go,

I'm going to go find another seat to sit at me.

And I try to get comfortable in another seat and I can't.

And I'm like laying.

I'm trying to sleep.

I can't get it.

And then it hits me.

You're going to throw up.

You're going to throw up in the Admirals Club.

You're absolutely going to, in the next five minutes, you're going to throw up in the Admiral's Club.

So I grab my backpack and I leisurely walk, you know, nothing's wrong.

I'm trying to look normal.

Meanwhile, I'm fucking sweating to death.

And I walk to the bathroom.

I get the farthest one from everybody.

Get down on my knees.

And I throw up.

And you know how when you throw up and then you're like, oh, thank God, I feel instantly better.

Yes.

Yeah.

It's the only upside to vomit is that it makes you feel better after.

I don't feel better.

And I'm like, I guess I got to, yep, throw up again.

Six times I threw up.

Every bit of orange juice and banana and water, I throw up.

Like,

like a fucking

Fairleigh Brothers movie kind of vomit, right?

And so

after the sixth one, I still don't feel better.

And I'm like, I tried to make myself throw up, but there's nothing left.

And so I just have to feel shitty.

So then I walk over and I get my toothbrush out of my bag and I go into the sink and I brush my teeth to get the puke out of my mouth and stuff.

And then I go back in and then I have like about two and a half hours to kill in the Admiral's Club where I just,

I don't know how to describe it, but it's, I'm just unhappy.

I'm just miserable.

I just like nothing on my phone is interesting.

I don't, I can't get comfortable.

No chair sits right.

Nothing in that everything, every chair is at an odd angle.

So I can't lay down.

I can't sit upright.

I cannot find a moment of comfort in the atmosphere.

You need to be asleep is what you need.

I need to be asleep.

I haven't slept at this point in a very long time.

Yeah.

Sorry, taking a breath for some water.

Hopefully I don't throw it up.

Oh, God.

So then

when it's about 30 minutes from my flight, I just can't sit there anymore.

So I get up and I just go walk around the airport, hoping that like getting some exercise will make me feel better.

It doesn't.

It doesn't.

But it just time moves so slowly, like so unbelievably slowly.

And I think, man, I can't wait till I'm on this airport because it then or on this airplane, because I, one of the things I did,

because I genuinely love myself, is I get, I bought myself first-class seats on this flight because I knew it was going to be kind of stressful and I knew I was going to be coming off of another long trip and I deserve a little bit of comfort, right?

And so I get on the plane and I'm in 3E and the guy next to me this like really sweet kind of young guy he's wife like newlywed wife is in one f

and they're like talking and laughing and i go hey man i'll switch places with your wife if you want so you can sit next to each other i don't i you know i got no problem doing that and they're like so grateful and i'm so happy to do it because i always hate when emily and i can't sit together on a plane you know and and so i go sit in one f which i didn't think about at the time as a fucking bulkhead and i can't stretch my legs out my legs immediately start to cramp and I just can't get them to stop.

I can't do anything about it.

Right.

And so I sit on the plane.

We take off.

Everything's fine.

I'm at this point.

I'm terrified.

We're going to get held up or there's going to be a problem.

And because I'm at like, I started the day at like a 50 and I'm at like 20 right now on the, in the seat, right?

This big, gross lump of shit comes and sits next to me and just spreads out all over me.

He's like 6'4 and massive and he's like cramming me in and I got no fucking room, and he's fucking gross.

And then he, we take off, and then he does the grossest thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

He orders a Bailey's on the rocks, which

turns out

immediately.

Turns out.

What?

Turns out.

Yeah, dude, Bailey's on the rocks.

Turns out.

Bailey's on the rocks is not a smell I need in my mouth.

I instantly get nauseous.

I'm like, what the fuck am I going to do?

I go, oh, thank God I can turn my nose off.

It's like skill I have.

So I shut my nose down and I'm fine.

Then he orders another Baileys on the Rocks.

What?

I'm like, we're 25 minutes into the flight at this point.

And I'm like, I don't know how long I can keep my nose shut down.

Like, I've never done it for an extended period of time.

A minute here, two minutes there, but we're going on like half an hour.

And it's kind of, it starts to, I get tired, you know?

And eventually, eventually he finishes his second Bailey's on the rocks.

She takes it away and he just gets a water.

And I'm like, oh, thank Christ.

Well, yeah, he's got to, he's got to rinse all that milk spit out of his gullet, drinking Baileys on the rocks twice.

Bailey's on the plane.

I know, dude.

It's the, as I said, it's the grossest thing I've ever seen.

What is it, Christmas Eve?

And so, um, and then I can breathe again with my nose, and that's great.

I've been basically just just trying not to puke for the first 20 minutes of the flight.

So I like, I go, oh, I should, let me get on my phone and I'll buy some internet and I'll just watch TikTok.

That'll help distract me, right?

Cause I got a, it's about two and a half hour flight.

I got about two hours, 15 minutes to go or whatever.

And

the fucking Wi-Fi's down.

Oh, fucking.

For the whole plane.

And the captain gets on.

He goes, hey, I'm really sorry, but we don't have any Wi-Fi in the plane today.

Really, really apologize for that.

Like, fucking great.

I got nothing, right?

I'm going to raw dog this fucking plane nauseous now.

And then

what I can only describe as the universe shitting some sort of karma that I'm not aware I need, like directly into my mouth, the lady comes out and she goes, time to serve lunch.

Today we have a vegetarian dish or chicken shawarma.

Which is all I've eaten or smelled for the last two fucking weeks in Greece and Turkey.

It's all they eat over there.

It's either lamb or eggplant or chicken shawarma.

That's all there is.

The smell knocks me on my ass instantly.

Shut my nose down again.

I had to keep my nose shut down for about 45 minutes.

Eventually, I couldn't do it any longer.

I had to breathe.

And by the way, this 45 minutes, I'm just staring straight ahead.

You know?

Nothing to do.

I've got a couple of dumb old games on my phone, but I don't.

I don't like games on a phone.

They're not fun.

They suck.

Every phone game fucking sucks.

And I don't care what anybody says, they're all dog shit.

None of them are interesting, and I don't feel like reading or anything, you know, because I don't feel good.

So I go about 45 minutes.

Yeah, I'm like, I got about an hour and a half left on the flight, maybe.

I go, oh,

I'm gonna join the Mile High Puke Club.

Oh, boy.

No,

and I get up and I walk into the bathroom in the first class, first class bathroom.

And I get on my knees into the dirtiest bowl you've ever seen, you know, like streaks of other people's shit on it and stuff.

Oh, God.

God's sake.

And I projectile vomit.

Not once, not twice, not three times, not even six times.

How do you still have liquid in you?

I don't know.

I had one glass of water.

Somehow it multiplied in my body.

I throw up seven fucking times.

Oh my God.

God.

I'm exhausted by the end of it.

It was loud.

I can't imagine the whole plane didn't hear it, right?

But nobody makes eye contacts with me when I get out, so who knows?

And then I stand up and I go over to the sink.

And I think, as I'm standing up, I think, like, I gotta go get my toothbrush out and get this putase out of my mouth again.

I can brush my teeth in this little sink.

And I go over to the sink and it's wrapped in caution tape.

And it says,

sorry, sink, sink is broken.

And the basin is just full of packages of wet wipes.

And I'm operating at like 5% now, right?

I don't know what to do.

I can't problem solve at this point.

I'm still nauseous, but there's nothing to throw up.

I'm exhausted.

I haven't slept in two days.

I've got jet everything.

Like, you know how shitty you feel on a plane on a good day.

And so I just open up some wet wipes and I just wipe my mouth out.

I don't know what else to do.

Oh my God.

And it's chemically engrossed and it almost makes me throw up again, but it's the chemical smells.

The chemical taste is better than the puke, I guess.

That's not for mouths.

No, it's not.

Not for, I'm pretty sure it says on the packaging.

Not for mouths.

Yeah.

And then

I can't do anything about else about it.

So I go and I sit down for the last hour or so of the flight with the chemical slash puke mouth.

And I just stare ahead and watch the seconds go by in my mind.

Couldn't you have gone to the back bog?

I don't think I could have made it back there, dude.

It was a long, long,

I'm running on zero energy and I'm not, I'm not.

This is a top, I was trying to figure it out.

This is like a top 10, maybe top eight shittiest days of my life.

It sounds miserable.

Oh, yeah.

Miserable.

And then the pilot announces that we're landing 20 minutes early.

And I go, oh, yeah.

Ah, fuck.

That's the worst.

Because when you land early, it always seems like a good deal.

Yeah, but there's always somebody in your gate.

So then you just sit on the fucking tarmac and you fucking heat up.

And sure enough, we land 20 minutes early.

And he's like, well, as soon as this Alaskan Airlines flight pulls out of the gate, we'll go right in.

And it's actually only about five minutes.

It's not terrible or anything.

So I still end up getting home like 15 minutes early.

And I fucking, I think like, I'm, I'm, I'm like trying not to throw up.

And I'm just thinking through my head, like, what do I have to do?

Right.

You know, like, I get out.

It's going to be like gate 26 or 28, probably, because that's where we always are.

And I'm not looking at my phone.

And, uh, And

then, uh,

and then I'll just, it's like, it's like a short walk.

I go down the escalator.

I know exactly exactly where my car is.

I always park an L for losers, so I never forget.

And then if L is filled up, I park an M for moron.

But

I got an L space, so I have my L spot, so I know I'm in my loser spot.

And

we pull in and I get out.

And for the first time in my life, we pulled into the last fucking gate at the airport, like gate 36 or something, 32.

I don't know.

And it's like a 17-mile walk back to my car.

And Austin Bergstrom International Airport yesterday looked like Disneyland.

I had to fight my way out of the airport to get the fuck out of there.

And the whole time I'm sweating and every time I walk by a bathroom, I'm like, is that the one I go puke in?

No.

Is that, no, I just got to make it.

I just got to make it.

And finally, I get into my car and I fucking, I'm able to relax a little bit.

And I think like, maybe I'll feel, no, I still feel shitty.

And then I drive home, which was actually kind of difficult because I was in such a miserable state and i i got home at like four o'clock and i walked upstairs and i laid down in the bed and i didn't wake up again till 9 p.m

and uh and then i've kind of been up since 9 p.m oh you couldn't go back to bed yeah i've had a real difficulty i woke up today at about 10 i'm up to like 40 or 50 now i've i've eaten six uh saltines successfully keeping it down

yeah yeah yeah and i drunk a bunch of water and i'm feeling a little bit better as the day goes on but uh i have never experienced anything like the misery i just described to you guys it was never ending and it wouldn't relent

i feel like and this is going to be a weird phrasing but what i think you need is you need a a like dracula like coffin that you could just lay in for 24 hours You just need to like lay in a box and then have it sealed and just be like, this is going to open in 24 hours.

You don't think about anything.

Don't do anything.

You just need to recover.

Yeah, or like a sleep deprivation chamber or something, hermetically sealed.

Yeah, it's like,

it's,

and

I had, I was so excited to come back.

Like, I can't tell you how fucking jazzed I've been for the last week to get back and to play repo and to play video games and to do podcasts with you guys and to tell you all the stuff, all the stuff about the trip.

But I'll be honest with you, I flushed.

I have no memory of the trip right now.

Like, it might as well have never happened.

You threw it up.

I just, I can't, I can't focus on anything.

All potentially because of one burger.

Yeah, or just a combination of jet lag and getting older and just being delicate.

I think I'm just getting delicate.

You know, I think the 20-hour flight, the no sleep, and then the 15-hour or 15-hour flight 15 hours later just was too much for my shitty little body to handle.

That's two back-to-back VOM trips.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Because you have to point because I threw up like crazy at Disney.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, that's not a good sign.

I hope that's not a new thing.

I just throw up every time I go on a trip.

I'm never leaving Austin again.

I know I've said that before, but goddamn, dude, I don't have any other trips scheduled and I'm not going to let anybody schedule anymore.

It's too dangerous to go anywhere.

And how, how, how could it go so wrong at every point from the Baileys to the chicken schwarma?

That's, it's comical.

that they did that to me after two straight weeks of that.

It was like they just knew what would fuck my nose up to the to the broken sink.

Yeah, like someone had a vomit obstacle course they were just sliding different items under you it's it's insane what you had to close your nose for i'm starting to think that i'm i'm i'm like a truman show i just don't know it

the last gate at the airport i've never even seen the last gate at the airport

you trying to hold your nose flaps for as long as possible felt like the lowest tiered

Tom Cruise stunt for a mission impossible

like they've just run out of stuff and it's now just a he's got it you hear that tom cruise held his nose for 50 minutes fucking crazy it's just the camera slowly moving into his face as he's squirming in a plain seat

if you thought goldenly breaded mcdonald's chicken couldn't get more golden think golder because new sweet and smoky special edition gold sauce is here made for your chicken favorites at participating in mcdonald's for limited time charlie sheen is an icon of decadence i lit the fuse and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

He's going the distance.

He was the highest paid TV star of all time.

When it started to change, it was quick.

He kept saying, no, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

Now, Charlie's sober.

He's going to tell you the truth.

How do I present this with any class?

I think we're past that, Charlie.

We're past that, yeah.

Somebody call action.

Yeah.

Aka Charlie Sheen, only on Netflix, September 10th.

So anyway, that's my last two days.

What have you guys been up to?

Holy shit.

So should we postpone today?

No, man.

We got too much to do.

I just asked,

we were supposed to do repo first, but I asked to do the podcast first.

We have to pump.

We're going to do two episodes of the podcast and we're done for today.

There's no, you're out of your fucking mind.

We need to

rest.

Jesus Christ, that's insane.

I thought we were pushing it.

I ran down a schedule yesterday of like, here's everything I want to get done today.

And I'm like, ah, this is going to push Jeff, but I think he'll be okay.

You just told 20 minutes of a story where I went, we shouldn't have even done the podcast today.

That's crazy.

I think you need a day, or at least the majority of a day, where you got nothing you need to do.

I don't know what to do.

If I don't do this podcast, I'm miserable.

I don't, nothing is fun.

I don't want to do it.

I don't feel, you know what I mean?

Like, at least this is distracting me in the moment.

We'll see how I feel after.

I think the craziest part of that story is you had a bed until what I assume was 11 a.m.

for checkout and you decided to leave it.

I did.

I did.

I did.

I was just uncomfortable and unhappy and I just wanted to be home.

You know, sometimes when you do stuff that you know doesn't make sense, but you have to do it.

Like getting in the car and going to the airport was getting closer to home.

And I just was so desperate to get home.

Like I didn't get sick until I was at the airport, but I wouldn't, I was

miserable before that, you know, I was exhausted and jet lagged and miserable and felt like shit and just wanted so badly to be home with my wife and my dog and my bed and my house.

And so even just getting up and like, it's like I was going to be miserable in a shitty hotel room and an uncomfortable bed or miserable in what I was hoping would be a comfortable chair at the Admiral's Club, which turns out those don't exist.

I noticed something about your story that I've realized we're different at.

I don't think I've ever knelt down to vomit.

Oh, really?

I don't go knees to the ground.

No.

Yeah.

What do you do?

Bend to the hips.

Yeah, I hunch over.

I have my hands on my

above my knees.

I lean over forwards, maybe put a hand on the wall behind the toilet, and I just go like that.

I'm like, I'm on the ground gripping that thing and just letting it fly.

Like, I think you're nuts for being on your feet.

Like, I would be scared to be that high off the ground because I just get puke spray everywhere.

100%.

You got, you got to, like, I'm like, I'm hugging it.

I'm hugging that thing.

Yeah.

I just don't want to get my face close to the water.

Like, I'm.

Oh, it's the worst.

I was like 10 inches from some other guy's shit.

Yeah, I couldn't do that.

I'm not worried about that.

It's, I like getting the whole body into the puking motion, and you can really leverage the rest of the body when you're in the legs.

It's like throwing.

It's only your arms, but you can throw further stood up than you can on your knees.

Yep.

I just, for me, it's like I'm giving myself over to what my body needs.

And it's like fully giving up everything physical in in every single way i'm like touch the toilet i'm trying not to but there's like dude there's no choice what i i just need it out of me and it's whatever it takes whatever it takes

sometimes a grip yeah

puking is the most violent thing i do in my life yeah it's up there for sure okay so it's probably pretty yeah but like it feels so good when you're done i i usually in this situation

15 times and and it did not but i and And I get that.

What's the number one

body function?

What?

Like a sneeze is up there as well.

Yeah.

I didn't think my question was that confusing, but it's

what I think other people.

Yeah, what do you think?

It's like, what's higher on the list than puking?

Like, what's better?

I think it feels better.

I think a sneeze is better.

Sneeze.

It's probably

better.

Everything feels better.

It's the worst thing you can do.

You think it's the worst?

Puking?

in the act of it yeah yeah if you said uh you know would you rather sneeze or would you throw up and feel the satisfaction from not feeling bad anymore i put a bunch of functions above vomit because you have to go through the vomit yeah the vomit isn't fun oh trigger warning for vomit talk today oh cool

good timing on that one man thank you very much great no worries yep i like that gavin and i both sneeze through our our mouths and we're both uh

standing up vomiters wow you guys have so much in common i was blown away listening to that back because jeff you said you've only been a nose sneezer yeah and you wouldn't even know how to redirect it through your mouth but also you're the nose flap guy

yeah

so have you ever tried closing them my flap if i tried closing my flaps while i sneezed i'd probably blow my brain yeah i was about to say it's gonna be like a loony tunes like the back of your head explodes out yeah no way dude i don't want to die although i kind of did i kind of did earlier today your head turns into like a used matchstick You just, your eyes blink.

Eric, you surely wouldn't kneel down on a plane in the piss.

If I, Gavin, if I am

feeling so bad that I have to puke on an airplane, I'm doing whatever it takes to get that out of me.

You don't prioritize like not walking out with two puddle stains on your knees?

If I

feel so sick that I have to puke on the airplane, I don't give a shit about a fuck.

I don't care about anything.

It needs to be out of me, period.

Yeah, and there were no puddle stains, just for the record.

I don't want people to think that there were puddle stains.

I didn't know

because you didn't mention it, but there's a, there's, I've pissed in a lot of planes where it's just like, I would not want to be down there right now.

Oh, absolutely.

I don't want to puke in an airplane.

I'm just, I'm saying that, like, I have, if it has to get out of me, I'm, there's no, I just don't think that there can be a barrier where I go, let's think about this analytically.

Like, I think I'm just toast, like, I'm doing whatever I can.

Is it just that you can't puke stood up, or you just don't want to be messy?

No, I can.

I just want it out of me in one go and be done.

I don't know if I'd have the strength to stay standing.

I'd be scared I'd collapse.

Yeah.

I get weak in the legs.

I need the stability of ground when I'm puking.

I don't know how to articulate how this would work, but the premise of somebody

seeing like your stats page, Jeff, let's say it's somebody that somehow like someone from the past is looking up, maybe like a long distant relative from your past is able to like look at future generations of like stats and they look at you and they're it's your vomit statistics and where you are when you vomit.

How absurd it is that you're so high up in the sky and you're vomiting.

38,000 feet.

Yeah, try to rationalize.

Like if somebody didn't understand flight and just went, how the fuck, how did, what,

what?

Seeing the heat map of that would be great because like your own toilet at home would be pretty, pretty warm and then there would just be like five blotches through the sky, like 17 miles apart because you're hoarding up.

Yeah, because you're going like 350 miles an hour or whatever.

I might have puked a couple of miles worth.

Holy

i didn't even think about that aspect of it

i didn't either man can i tell you i've never hated anybody in my life more than that lump of shit sitting next to me

i could tell by the way you talk about it man i hated that dude it's fucking bailey's on the bailey's bailey's on the rocks twice

about bailey's on the rocks as somebody who doesn't drink i i just i don't understand It's not even liquor.

It's a liqueur, which means that it's like a lower ABV.

So if you're drinking it to like get a buzz, you got to go further.

But it's also, Andrew, it's like drinking alcoholic milk.

It's, it's

thick, like a melted milkshake.

You know how I'm a no-go on white shit?

Right?

Bailey's is at the top of that list.

Like even when I was a, even, listen, I was a crippling alcoholic.

I was never bad enough to drink a Bailey's.

If it was between like sobering up and drinking Baileys, I would have sobered up.

Never.

Yeah, I feel like it's always

like a family has got a bunch of old relatives over and they go into the cabinet and they pull out half a bottle of Baileys that hasn't been poured since this day last year.

It's like a rarely drunk thing in my experience.

It's 17% ABV, which is like

barely more than wine.

It's it's so low.

It's so, so low in ABV.

It's and drinking it on the rocks on an airplane seems so bizarre.

That is like, that's,

I was on a plane this last week, and this woman ordered a double vodka just on ice, and they just gave her two little bottles of vodka, and she went, thank you, poured it on the ice, boom, downed it.

And it was like, what the fuck?

That's crazy.

She forgot everything at her seat.

She forgot her phone.

She forgot her pillow.

She forgot her glasses case.

She she forgot everything.

It was really exciting.

How far into the flight?

Uh, oh,

the first drink service,

like it was immediate.

It's like, what can I get for you?

And I went, water, and she went, double vodka.

She had a place to go and she wanted to get there fast.

It was, it was crazy.

That's something they never get right in the flight safety videos: there's never anyone really pissed up trying to get on one of the slides,

which would probably be the case.

Oh, man.

I used to pride myself on being really good at like getting real friendly with the flight attendants.

They'd always slip me extra free booze.

I was able to do it almost every flight I was on.

I was really good at that.

Is that

you said it with a lot of pride?

And just, I'm just saying, I'm just pointing out like sort of where you ended up.

I don't think you should be so prideful about.

I used to weasel these idiots out of free drinks all the time.

It's a skill I don't use anymore, but it doesn't doesn't mean I'm not proud that I had the skill, you know?

I've seen you turn on the charm.

Yeah, man.

You haven't just kind of like that.

I've seen you turn on the charm too at a hotel in Vegas.

Oh, God.

Hotel in Vegas.

No,

you're a one-liner.

Yeah, you're one-liner.

The one time I had Riz.

Yeah.

Oh, I don't think.

Man, the way you say that word is weird to me.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

What were you saying, Andrew?

I cut you off.

I don't even remember.

I'm just, I'm wrapped up in Gavin being the Rizzler, and I just can't.

Everything else went out the window.

Gavin, would you like to be the Rizzler?

I don't think so.

I don't think you should be that.

You should be what?

The Rizzler.

I just don't think I've ever heard it in that accent before.

You think you can be a Costco guy, Gavin?

I mean, you say Rizzler, I just think of the rolling paper.

What?

Nobody knows what that is.

What rolling paper?

Oh, you're saying Rizla.

It's rolling paper.

I think they're very British.

I think they're very British rolling things.

That's what my friends used to smoke.

What's that shit?

Hash?

I don't know.

Marijuana, like a cigarette.

I'm trying to remember the brand of like rolling tobacco.

We're not friends with your friends.

We don't know what your friends did.

That wasn't that.

I need to show you.

I searched Rizla or

This is

look at this fucking guy.

Is that you and your friends, bud?

I mean,

that a similar look.

That guy looks like he tells you that he can only be paid cash because he has child support payments.

Yeah, and the government's going to take his money.

That's crazy.

Hey, so for serious, serious though uh what what did i miss for three weeks what catch me up marvin haggie um virtual weapon

oh virtual weapon so what's virtual virtual weapon we have to see we came i guess i guess we could talk about that here right uh we i came up with a game uh where we're trying to find the regulatory by the time this comes out that video is definitely not out but that's okay you'll see it eventually um We came up and it's called Regulation Best Thing.

And what I'm trying to do is find what the best thing is.

And so it is a random Wikipedia article versus a random Wikipedia article, and whichever one of those things is better moves on.

And then we randomize again.

And then it's a head-to-head competition all the way until we find what the best thing is.

That's

it didn't go how you'd expect.

Like it wasn't like orange or swing set.

It was like

small town in Poland or Iranian spy who was executed.

It really goes in like a lot of different directions.

But the thing about Wikipedia is that it has kind of like everything on it.

And that's why we used it.

So eventually we landed on a movie, an Italian action movie from 1997 called Virtual Weapon.

I'm in.

And this is starring Terrence Hill and Marvelous Marvin Hagler.

The boxer?

The boxer.

Yes.

He is the comedic relief.

From what we can tell from the trailer, we think one of them is virtual from a video game.

The non-Marvin Hagler actor, we believe, is from a video game.

He either gets pulled from the video game or Marvin Hagler is imagining him as like his friend.

It's very odd, but there's a lot of explosions.

It's like cloak and dagger.

Yeah.

A little bit.

So we landed on that and it was very hard to beat.

Are we going to watch that movie?

Yeah, absolutely.

Oh, we absolutely are going to watch Virtual Weapon.

We landed on it and it was immediately four men in a Discord call going, oh,

oh,

so yeah, we're definitely watching that.

It's pretty exciting.

So that was one of many things that happened while you were gone.

Nice.

I've been haunted by a video game.

I'm sorry.

I need help.

I need help from the community because

I was playing Fall Guys one evening in an explore category and a level popped up.

And I was like, oh, this looks ridiculous.

So I'll, you know, like, I'll just play through this.

This is fine.

Spent 30 fucking minutes on this level and I was not able to beat it.

And by minute 10, I was like, I just, I can't, I can't leave.

I can't, I don't need to do this.

I've accomplished what I needed of just like loading in, but I cannot leave this level until I beat this fucking thing.

It's ridiculous.

It's a level where it's a bunch of like spinning tops.

And then there's cannon shooting orange balls into the middle constantly.

And then when you get on the other side of that, it's a bunch of jump pads and like trapeze things where you got to go between those and swing and then land on another jump it's a whole thing and i spent 30 minutes doing it and i would have spent longer but that is the maximum amount of time they allow you to spend in the thing it timed me out so why is this full guys but solo no it was just like i was in the they have like an explore playlist where it's all community-made levels and there's no like if you make one it just ends up there and you can play it and you can like thumbs up it or thumbs down and so I landed on that one every other person quit everybody left within like three minutes and I was like I fucking gotta beat this this is so annoying and so I just spent the entire time there until the clock started running down and I was so mad but I gave it a thumbs up so I thought okay I can probably come back to this later but it erased it like it doesn't that's not how you favorite a level I guess so for like the past 10 days it's all I've been thinking about.

Whenever I lay in bed, I just think about this level that I haven't been able to beat and I have no way of finding.

So, if someone out there somehow knows what this level is called, please let me know.

Because I'm in hell by now, I cannot find it.

I went back in, I saw that, like, there's a way to favorite levels, and giving it a thumbs up apparently isn't it.

I don't think the thumbs up in any way, like, is a bookmarker for what I did.

And since it's in a playlist where it's, it's not curated, so it's just like impossible to track that way.

I guess if I would have

checked as soon as I finished it, it would have saved in a thing that like keeps your game history, but I closed out of the game because I was so mad that it timed me out before I could finish it.

So it's just gone.

And I have no way of being able to find it.

There's like zero.

like narrowing down because it is an open uncurated playlist in the game.

How many levels are that, do you think?

How many?

Oh,

I couldn't even speculate to guess.

An insane number.

Anybody who makes a level, I think, it ends up there.

So some of them even beatable?

I would assume that the creator forces you to have a beatable level, but you can just skip it.

There's an in-game prompt of like, are you done with this level?

You can just move on to the next one.

It's fine.

Like, completing it is not at all a mandatory part of that process, but it's it's one of those things where you get committed to like, I'm going to see this through and then just stuck on it.

And I was making progress.

I was figuring it out.

I got real close, but I never beat it.

And it's just, it's haunted me.

I'll lay in bed at night and I'll think about that level and that I still haven't beaten it.

If you find it again, will you stream it?

I think we should all play it.

If I find it again, we can all play it together.

Oh, you're dragging us in.

What if you were never awake and you dream the whole thing and it doesn't exist?

I mean, that would then, I guess, theoretically, I could dream a scenario in which I find it and beat it and then I'm good.

You should try that.

I should.

Every night, gonna lay in bed.

I'm down to play it with you if you ever figured out.

We need to find it.

I mean, it's such a like unique,

it's a unique level.

So, as I said, if anyone knows what I'm talking about, it literally starts out.

It's a bunch of like spinning tops in the beginning, you have to jump over and then like 20 cannons shooting giant orange balls all into the middle i highly doubt anyone is able to find it because from what i could tell by searching nobody knows how to favorite a level in that game even though it's a prompt every like thread is just how do you do this uh

so i don't i think it's just gone forever i don't think i'll ever be able to play it again but it's all i think about right now that goddamn interesting i can't beat it

can't beat it it can't be done I've never seen anyone do it.

You said, Gavin, what if it's an unbeatable level?

I think it's that level.

That level is unbeatable.

It's so annoying.

It's so upsetting.

Yeah, all of us running that at the same time would be interesting.

I think it would be fun to do.

We were talking about doing Mile High Club, where as we beat it, we get to leave.

Like, I think we could put that in the rotation of once you beat the level, you get to leave the recording.

Oh, fucking Mile High Club.

I really want to do that because not being able to leave until you've done it is

going to be like eight times longer than play until someone gets it.

We need to wait wait a little bit on that for Jeff.

Jeff needs to recharge.

Yeah, maybe give me a day or two.

Did you ever finish Limbo?

Did you do your thing?

I was about to bring it up.

Yeah.

Did a little stream?

Yeah.

Good test run.

How close did you get?

Or did you do it?

What was I, like 20% in or something?

Yeah,

roughly 20%.

I had a full play video up on the side, Jeff, and he was 17 minutes into the hour-long playthrough.

That's the furthest he got.

Even if we stream that again on a on a Friday at 4 p.m.

on Twitch,

I

don't have all of the memory I had when I was doing it.

Like leaving a two-week gap between attempts is horrific.

I'm going to die earlier than I did last time somehow.

Well, he Gavin lost three lives in a row and then realized he wasn't jumping.

Yeah, it was pretty cool.

He was just sort of like walking forward and then going, oh, I'm not hitting the jump button.

Yes.

I forgot the only mechanic in the game uh-huh

oh i can't wait to watch that yeah i mean that was a great stream but i think we'll just have to do it you know off stream because it's going to take so long but it's it's very exciting i think you can do it i believe in you dude yeah or maybe we'd have to do a run of like i'll stream every day that week or something

there's you're you're gonna keep you think you're gonna keep that information locked in your brain every day also why would you do this to yourself why wouldn't you i feel like that's the best way of next time why would you set yourself up for this why wouldn't you just go i'll just see if i can do it in one go and brutalize yourself for like a few hours instead of going like well here's nine days

uh do you think it's the most fun that like i think the best version of that idea is live wow yeah

honestly being live for it was a lot of fun because the chat was going crazy every time you died you would just see the death count come up in the chat just

be a bunch of people typing four and then a million pissed

and uh it would freak me out it definitely kept the pressure up higher than it would have been yeah but also it very very hard to count to the number five i've learned while you're playing that game i kept losing track of how many times that died i think that could be a fun

maybe like you will figure out the scheduling of it but if you have

because it's only an hour long theoretically your playthrough when you get it and you figure out how to do everything

Setting a time and doing like every day until you do it.

Yeah.

Outside of weekends.

I don't know what we would do with the VOD.

Would we just not do them for that?

Maybe it would be like a Mario Party in a sense, where like we slap them all together.

Eventually, yeah, just do one big video once it's all done.

One big 37-hour video.

What do you think, Nick?

Are you up for stitching together a bunch of me playing limbos?

I'd love to.

I think that'd be fun.

Yeah,

I like these little challenges.

I also, after that, we should definitely do the Mile High Club.

Yes.

Yeah, I'm down with that.

That'll be a misery.

Because I've done that one before.

It took me days.

It days to do it.

Really?

I think so.

Yeah.

I think it probably took two days to do.

I can't remember.

It was a long time ago, but it was hard.

What about you, Nick?

I think I've done it twice.

Never done it.

Never done it, Eric.

Oh, I've definitely never done it.

That's a Call of Duty thing, right?

Yes.

Which Call of Duty is it?

Modern Warfare?

first modern warfare right i call dibs on recruit you guys have to be veteran

when did modern warfare come out like 2007

it didn't even occur to me that you could play mile high club on anything but veteran because the whole point of doing it was there's an achievement associated to it yeah yeah

can you even do it on any difficulty lower than veteran oh you wouldn't get the achievement no but like is there i don't know it feels like so pointless to do it on i don't think i've ever done it on any other difficulty Oh, if you can, you should try it, but it's way easier.

Oh, it'd be so much easier.

The tough part of it is that it's got like a two-minute timer or something.

Or is it a minute?

Is it a minute?

I think it's two minutes, yeah.

So it's to the point where you have to make so much progress through the plane that it's quicker just to pick up another gun than it is to reload the one you have.

Yeah, it's a thing.

We all have to watch a guide on it, I think, because it is like, you have to throw smoke grenades and then run and then throw more smoke, like just getting that system out.

I wonder if we ever released a guy.

Oh, that's interesting.

I think we did it as a go.

You have to go through all this stuff as quickly as possible, and then you have a hostage situation at the end where you have to get a very precise shot on.

Yeah, you have to not shoot the hostage in the face.

Yeah,

we did it on versus

orchid timeout

11 years ago.

I think

I like the back then, It was like dusting off this dusty old game to do this old achievement.

And now it's been like double the amount of time since that.

Jesus Christ,

we got to get with the times, man.

We're stuck in 2011.

I just like, I just found the video.

I just went into AH Guide Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 Spec Ops 2 Mile High Jack.

Is that what this is?

That's different.

Oh, okay.

I just went in.

I just found this video, went into it, and it's just Ray commenting with people.

It's just Ray's account commenting with people from 13 years ago.

Weird.

They,

the one we should do, we should do the remastered when they redid the Modern Warfare series.

They did it again on that one.

So I had to do it twice.

So we can do it on that one.

It'll look better.

That'll be cool too, because then I'll actually get that achievement.

So that'll happen in the second one.

It's

still sucks.

As long as it's not easy, yeah.

No, it's the exact same experience.

It just looks nicer.

Oh, sweet.

I'm so bad.

What's so frustrating to me about that thing is I'm so bad at the hostage part, but I'm okay at the other parts in my experience.

Like, I could consistently get to the hostage.

I remember when I was first going for that achievement, but I kept shooting the hostage.

Oh, and I did that like seven or eight times before getting it.

And then there's the thing of like, oh, you have to like fire immediately too, because if you don't, then you just have no window for it.

And then he just kills the host.

It sucks.

Yeah.

It is.

a brutal achievement to get.

No checkpoints.

No checkpoint.

Well, I mean, it would be kind of funny to have have a checkpoint in like a two-minute sequence.

It's at the hostage.

I had a question that is for the group, but I assume it's mainly for Jeff, because Jeff's like the butt guy, the anus guy.

Hey, that's me, the butt guy.

If you put helium in your butt, do you fart higher?

Yes, I would assume so.

Like a higher pitch, you mean?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, that's interesting.

I don't.

I...

I don't think you would, would you?

No, I think it'd be the same.

Hmm.

If it's going in your butt, I would think so.

Why wouldn't it?

Should we try?

I was thinking, you know, if we get if we get the new office at some point.

All right.

Pencil that in.

For the new office, we do a

helium farts.

Should we do that before the knife drones?

Yeah.

The same day.

I think it could be a new game for you, Jeff.

I might have an in for the knife drones too.

I might have, might have a solution for that.

Have you got a helium?

I thought you were going to say you might have an in for the helium because that's apparently a rare, rare thing to get don't we taught you about it don't say apparently to us we told you about the thing you're telling us i you know i don't know if i believe helium's rare alleged uh alleged rarity of helium what else is rare

uh

saffron saffron really yeah

Saffron

super super expensive.

That's why, like,

when I was in Turkey, everybody was like, get the saffron.

It's a third of the price as it is in the States.

I'm like, I'm good.

I don't cook with saffron because I don't have access to it.

So I don't know what I'm missing.

I'm fine.

You didn't try it?

Yeah, did you have saffron there?

Was it good?

I didn't have any saffron there.

But I did go to the Egyptian spice market, which is one of the coolest places I've ever been.

And Emily took a video of me trying to buy ice cream from a guy who did the thing where he

takes it out of your hand.

Doing ice cream.

Friendly hit me in the dick with ice cream.

Hard.

I felt it.

I was like, oh, fuck.

And then he charged me 20 bucks.

Fucking idiot.

I feel like that's the attitude of every ice cream guy that does that.

Oh, for sure.

Oh, man.

So just before we move on, I'm really curious to know, what color is helium on the rarity scale?

Are we talking purple?

Is it a gold?

If it's like a loot drop in a game.

Oh, I'd say it's probably blue.

I see.

Blue?

That's barely rare.

Well, I mean, it's not still used to

balloons.

It's just finite.

Yeah.

I'd say blue.

I think blue is right based on that.

That's a good call.

Blue helium feels good.

Do you have any gold slash...

What's the top color?

Yeah, I like gold, typically.

Is it gold or red?

Oh, red.

It's typically got orange.

When I think of the scale, oh, okay.

When I think of the scale, I think gray, green, blue, purple, orange, red.

Interesting.

Oh,

I didn't even think about red factoring in there.

I like that.

I like having one.

Oh, my God, it's red.

Yeah.

Hmm.

Were you going to say, what's the rarest item you have, Gavin?

Yeah, like, what's the goldest thing in your life?

The goldest thing.

I have an answer, actually.

But

I can't reveal it yet because it's for content.

Watch that reveal later.

Wow.

I got to prove that.

What the hell?

That's crazy.

Maybe the rarest thing that I should have that isn't in my life is the big bounce on VHS that is graded.

The nine-point whatever that got stolen from my porch.

Somebody took a gold package.

You can't keep bringing up the big bounce.

Nobody knows.

We talked about it before, and nobody knows what it is still.

Like, you can't do that.

Everybody knows about the big bounce.

Look at them.

They're getting ready for a big bounce.

I had, I'm like, what was the big bounce?

Like a kids' show or something?

I forgot.

I've totally forgot about the big bounce.

Charlie Sheen looks like Matt Dillon's brother from There's Something About Mary.

Like I feel just in that image, it's like the same guy.

Oh, yeah.

I'm pretty sure it's the same role.

Zaney Detective.

I sent a clip to Eric recently of the 1999 MTV Movie Awards best picture.

And it's, I think, the funniest category of films where it's just the most absurd range of it's like Shakespeare and Love.

There's something about Mary.

The Truman show.

Saving Private Ryan is like in the mix.

It has to be the only like known award that features Saving Private Ryan and there's something about Mary in the same category.

I don't remember what the other movie was, but there's something about Mary won, which makes it so funny.

It was the nominees for best movie were armageddon there's something about mary saving private ryan shakespeare and love the truman show

jesus wild what a collection of films i watched deep impact for the first time about a week ago because wow really because i was thinking about armageddon i was like oh i never watched deep impact like they're always talked about in the same same sort of time release same sort of style movie it

such a piece of shit like it wasn't

it's not even a like a fun bad movie it's just a genuinely shit film i was i'm blown away that it's even compared to armageddon and armageddon sucks yeah armageddon does suck i remember deep impact having a cool wave yeah

is it like tea leone standing on the beach and she gets like demolished by a wave does that happen in that movie yeah she's like a very unlikable main character for 75 of the movie and that just gets washed away and you and it's meant to be in a big emotional moment, and you just go,

awesome, and this freaking giant.

Oh, I just got so many problems.

Run him down.

Hit us with your deep impact.

What's that?

That was 96, 97.

Hit us with your deep impact.

Well, everyone like watches this giant meteor slam into the sea, and they're just watching this wave come towards him.

Wouldn't there be a massive, like, obliterating shockwave that would just annihilate everyone immediately?

Yeah.

I don't think getting wet or drowning would be the issue there for most people.

Is it getting wet?

Oh, I did wet!

I'm doing wet!

Fucking meteor, I'm soaked.

They could have done.

I feel like they left out the most interesting part of what would have happened.

The shockwave?

Yeah.

I don't feel like we see a lot of shockwaves in movies.

I feel like the shockwave is often forgotten.

Well, what's the best shockwave you've ever seen in a movie, Gavin?

That's Trinidad Oppenheimer?

I don't know.

I don't even really remember if that had it kind of just went bang and everyone jumped.

I looked up shockwave movie moment.

Yeah,

it gave me shockwave from Transformers.

What about from Terminator 2?

Is that a shockwave?

Where like

skeleton gets blown away?

Yeah.

See, that's how it happened, right?

The tidal wave would slam into a leveled city.

It wouldn't be knocking the Statue of Liberty's head off and shit.

Yeah.

Kevin would have been the worst witness to the nuclear bomb test.

Could you imagine if, like, Gavin,

his description of it went bang and everyone jumped of, like, oh, how was work?

Oh, he would drop the bomb.

Everyone jumped.

I mean, at a certain distance, that's what the result is, right?

Sure, but it's just the way you described it, like, was so insignificant.

just an insane explosion that changes the world testing this unbelievable weapon it went bang everybody jumped anyway

traffic was bad

if you look at like them dropping fat man on japan there would have been a distance where all you heard was a bang sure

yeah i guess Apparently, everybody in Austin heard the bang of a house explode while I was going.

Oh, yeah.

Did you guys hear that?

Yeah, the exploding house is crazy.

I didn't hear it, but that's wild.

I heard you could hear it.

It was like up in Pflugerville, and you could hear it from downtown.

Yeah.

Yeah, there was an exploding house, and I think nobody died.

People got fucked up, though.

Those are the best exploding houses.

Like,

look at what was left.

It's just, like, nothing.

That's what I was going to say.

Like, in England, a house explodes and it blows out the doors and windows and usually people die inside.

Here, the houses are made of wood, so it's just gone.

Yeah.

It's just nothing left.

Nothing.

I think it seriously fucked up like 20 other houses.

And one house was in danger of collapsing after it.

I also saw that yesterday, I was on Reddit a little bit ago.

I saw yesterday that the cops SWAT team exploded a house in Austin.

Like on purpose.

Yeah.

I don't know why, but they blew a house up.

I'll find it on the Austin subreddit or Eric will.

Wow.

I didn't know about this.

I'm looking for it right now.

That's crazy.

Why would they explode a house?

I really disliked it.

Here we go.

Austin.

Police detonate explosive device found in South Austin home 17 hours ago at the time of this recording.

Whatever.

Crazy.

Yeah.

I mean, they, I mean, yeah, that makes sense.

Uh,

let's see if it was near anything that we like.

CrossFit,

right off Man Shack,

Texacan Cafe.

Oh, damn.

I do like Texacon Cafe.

It's all right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's right there by Polyphonic Coffee.

Oh, it's kind of by the South Austin Beer Garden.

Did we do an episode at Polyphonic Coffee?

Let me have a look here.

Of this show?

No.

The coffee one.

Let me ask you a question, Nick.

Did we do an episode of this show anywhere else ever once?

The office, maybe.

Dude, no.

This is the place we tried to go to, and it was closed.

Ah, okay, there you go.

We tried to go here.

It was closed.

We went somewhere else.

They are fucking lost.

Yep.

Yep.

Yep.

I remember that.

Damn.

Crazy.

We had an exploding house here like a year ago.

Really?

Yeah.

Let me show you the remnants of that house that exploded.

And it was wild.

It was a

cool.

Holy shit.

It has that like...

Is that saying

Langley?

Is that the area that it happened in?

I don't, I have no idea what the street was called or whatever.

It landed in a graveyard?

Yeah, it was next to a graveyard.

It was a house that was

perfect.

God, could you imagine if you were visiting your loved one and you couldn't go because there was a house on them?

Wow.

Yeah, it was a thing where it was like 7 p.m.

And it felt is the closest I've ever had to a Cloverfield-like experience in real life where everything shook unexplainably for like a second and a half and the power went out for a moment, and then

everything was fine.

It was like, well, that was weird.

What was that?

Pretty short trip for anybody who didn't make it, though.

Yeah.

Yeah, no kidding.

Oh, man.

Well, dude, imagine if you landed.

Imagine if you were in the exploding house and you shot up in the air and you died and you landed in an open grave.

Boom.

It would just be like

done and done.

Or it's like being in that cauldron and repo.

Boop.

If your house blows up, do you still own the remnants?

Oh, oh, yeah, I would think so.

Like, if people will start walking away with your planks and door frames and shit, could you be like, hey, hey, yeah, conversely, conversely, people could be like, hey, could you get your fucking house out of my yard?

Well, it could be the other way around, too.

If, like, I don't have a front door anymore, my neighbors refuse to give it back to me.

It landed on their property.

Well, this sort of puts a damper on my whole thing.

I was in Burbank when that, uh, there was an earthquake in Southern California earlier this week.

And I was in LA when it happened.

It was the first time I felt an earthquake in years.

And really, yeah,

I was walking, getting a cup of coffee, and it made me feel dizzy.

I thought I was getting sick right before the stuff that I was out there doing.

And I'm like, oh, no.

I'm going to throw up.

I'm like dizzy and sick.

And then my phone started going off.

And it's like, earthquake in the area.

Duck and cover.

And I was just like walking down the street and realized, oh, okay.

It was just the earth below me shaking.

I wasn't sick.

So that was it.

Have you like you grew up in California?

Is that just a fact of life?

Does that happen pretty regularly?

Or do you get used to it?

Because I've never experienced an earthquake in my life.

It doesn't happen often enough for you to go, oh, this is just a thing you write off.

But the really small ones that you feel and you just go, was that an earthquake?

It now, instead of like

processing it, you go to Twitter and you just go, earthquake.

And then everyone else does it too.

It's very exciting.

So it was fun to be in LA for earthquake Twitter.

It really, it was down kind of like near San Diego and I was up in LA.

So it wasn't huge when I felt it.

It was just enough to sort of go like,

this feel, it felt like being on a boat for just a second.

That's all it kind of feels like.

I've never felt one.

Were you at, by any chance, were you headed up to LA because you were, you wanted wanted to go up to Coachella?

Yeah, yeah.

I was trying to kind of, well, I

was promised that I could perform and then I got all the way there.

And then a guy walked up to me and he said, you thought?

And then he pulled down my pants and everyone laughed.

And then I just, I came back home.

So was it Glenn Danzig because Misfits performed at Coachella?

He said, he said, I ain't no goddamn son of a bitch, but watch this.

And then he laughed at my dick and it was like, god damn it, Glenn Danzig.

That is the most ill-fitting schedule for, like, I watched so many TikToks of Misfits playing.

And by the way, dancing is getting up there in age.

But it sounded okay, but Jesus Christ, play into 75,000 people that have never heard of them.

It was just a bunch of kids that nobody gave a shit about.

No fucking clue.

And it's like, I was telling them, like, there's a bunch of...

48, 49, 52-year-old dudes like me that would cut their fucking pinky off to be there.

And it's wasted on a bunch of 19-year-olds that have never heard of them before and will never hear them again absolutely oh well but anyway i'm back and uh no more earthquakes no more earthquakes no more terrible trips for jeff

if you say so i think i've thought of something that won't work with the whole helium in the butt thing what's that

because i think if we put helium up your butt jeff it will just keep going up your colon what if i

you might have to be upside down yeah what if i'm upside down what if we what if we angle me properly that's a good idea yeah yeah yeah so start you right side up and then turn you upside down yeah we might have to have your your back against a wall yep upside down okay i'm i'm willing to do that yeah okay all right

we should probably uh we should probably wrap this episode up i think it seems like a seems like a good place to end it uh thank you for listening go ahead I was gonna say, I think it's very funny that Gavin has decided you're the one getting the helium in the ass.

I think that was a

foregone conclusion.

I felt like we were on the bottom.

I mean, most likely scenario, but it wasn't stated until that moment.

Well, he said, I feel like you're the butt guy.

He's the butt guy.

And I feel like if an outside client brought this to us, he would be the ones to take it.

Fair enough.

You know, like if somebody came in and they were like, we need a long back, everybody would look at you.

Yeah, yeah, no, it's a good point.

It's a good point.

Okay, well, see you next time.

Thanks for listening.

This has been episode 50, patreon.com/slash regulation pod and check out our gameplays.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Really out of practice.

Jeez.

Jesus Christ.

I didn't throw up though.

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