Johnny Horizon // Sleep Re-education [45]

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Hello, and welcome to Regulation Podcast, episode number 45.

I'm your temporary host, The Mechanic, joined by Baby Pepsi, Gassigoo, Gizmo, and Lil Ricky B.

As always, thanks for joining us this week, guys.

Did you know that you can inhale popcorn?

Yeah.

You can eat it through your lung?

What do you mean?

Yeah, so if you're eating it and you like in take it in wrong, if you inhale at the moment, you can take a kernel and then suck it into your lungs are you referring to the seed yeah uh like the the little bit in the middle not i mean you could probably do a whole one if you wanted to but the bit in the middle

the bit in the middle is the bit that you eat though well yeah but you can also inhale it yeah it's light as air right so you'll say you can inhale a whole kernel You can inhale a whole kernel and can get very sick and apparently succeed.

Yeah, then corn grows in your stomach and you die.

I heard about this.

Now, Nick,

is there corn growing in your stomach right now?

Not at the moment, no, but I did also, listen, my wife is on a big kick about learning about foods because, you know, kids and eating all that stuff.

And the other thing, apparently, that you can die on the easiest is a hot dog.

Y'all are eating kids.

What?

I said, kids and eating.

Kids and eating, eating kids?

Eating kids.

So you're just, your wife's looking for things not to feed Archie so he doesn't die.

Essentially, we did find out because he had his first hot dog this past weekend.

I was pretty proud and excited.

I'm going to get him a counter here pretty soon.

Make sure he keeps up with the rest of us.

But

apparently, that's the craziest.

This kid's like three.

Yo, so if you eat your 80 hot dogs or what?

No, but this is four because most people don't know how many hot dogs they've eaten in their life.

And that's true.

He gets to start from scratch.

And write stats on dogs.

Insane.

Oh, my God.

Teach him from an early age about the lifetime hot dog counter and how it's his responsibility to keep up with it.

It does make sense, sense, though, that you're most likely to choke on a dog because eating a hot dog is like eating an inverse throat.

Yes, it's the exact same size as your throat.

So, most people like cut it down the middle, which is why some restaurants serve it that way, and some restaurants just serve it that way because they cook it that way.

Otherwise, you're just eating a cooked throat plug.

It is, it's like the pile to the hole.

How high would you say Archie could count, Nick?

I don't know, 20s.

He's ahead of you, Andrew.

Uh,

80s, 90s.

I just appreciate that Archie lives in a world.

I don't know.

Remember the Mr.

Show sketch where like 23 is the highest number?

That scene's going to be Archie.

He's going to have 23 hot dogs in a calendar year and be like, that's it.

I've gone the highest.

I've peaked.

If I eat another hot dog, it just isn't a number.

We have to invent something else.

If you said I had 23 hot dogs left to eat total, I think I'd be fine with that.

Like in your life.

Yeah, that would mean that you lived 5,000 years.

You went to $1 hot dog night and had one hot dog.

Gavin just found his secret to immortality.

Just never eat the 23rd dog.

Yeah.

It'll be 50 years before you eat the third dog, for Christ's sake.

Nick, I got to say, buddy,

I thought that was a fantastic intro.

Anytime you want to step in and do the intro again,

the floor is yours.

Really?

Let me know when I have a factoid next.

All right.

It reminded me of Kermit the Frog a little bit for some reason.

I don't know why, but it kind of gave me some Kermit vibes on the Muppet Show, and I liked it.

I kind kind of don't want to do it now, I guess.

Hey, Hollywood, welcome to Regulation Podcast.

I think Nick is feeling on top of the world.

That was crazy after that intro, but also he's given away the fact that he's not wearing the mask.

So I feel like

kind of

we tricked you there a little bit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is that what you thought Kermit the Frog sounded like, Nick?

No.

Sounds like the aragati in that show we watched.

Are you Mr.

Smith?

Going to Washington, baby.

Covet's last name is actually Smith.

Oh, Christ.

What do you guys want to talk about today?

Does anybody have anything on their list?

Are you kidding?

You guys have been locked and loaded all week.

Somebody just throw something out there.

Well, I got two things, but I want to give everybody else the floor first.

Gavin, last time we recorded, said he didn't hit any of his notes.

I feel like Gavin should.

leave us off plans.

Mail my semen to every house.

What do I mean by that?

Dude, all right, so no more Gavin notes ever.

Move on, I guess.

Mail my semen to every house.

No, let's let's linger on this for a minute.

Yeah, let's think about it.

No, no, this is my crime thing.

Like, if my semen was everywhere, I could never be caught for a crime.

But then I realized all of the semen-based crimes are really not fun.

Yeah, why would you want to cover up a semen-based crime?

It would make more sense if you decided to go touch a doorknob at every house in America or something.

Like, it should be mailing my fingerprints to every house.

But you took it to sexual assault pretty quickly.

It could have also been murder, I guess.

Have you seen the town?

Remember how like they do the heist and then they like get a bunch of different hair from a barber shop of like various people to like fuck up the DNA?

Like what you're suggesting is like a bag of cum, but it's a bunch of different dudes come,

throw the cum bomb in.

So it's like there's an orgy of dudes here.

How do we whose DNA is whose?

I was just trying to get, I was just trying to blanket my DNA.

Yeah, I don't think because what you're actually doing with your initial suggestion is putting yourself as a suspect in every single crime.

Yeah, but they'll be like, oh, it's this guy again.

Yeah.

I can build a reputation.

They would get real sick of interviewing you after about two weeks.

Where were you last night?

I was here being interviewed by you.

How did his cum get to California?

Insane.

Gavin, what else you got besides cum?

I want to know, because Nick is a freak, right?

And we've been learning this a lot more recently.

I want to know if Nick and Eric ever just hang out one-on-one.

When have we done that?

When have we...

Very different answers.

Very different answers.

I invited you to a soccer game, but you weren't able to go, which was also good because I wasn't able to go because it felt like I got hit by a bus.

Wait, what?

That was on Saturday.

So that was barbecue day.

Yeah, that was

a lot.

But

we've gone to basketball games.

Yeah.

And we've used to go to lunch after we were all in the same office.

Yep.

But just you and him at lunch.

Yeah.

Just the two of you.

Yeah, we've, yeah.

Yeah, we've done, we've done stuff like that before.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Me and Nick get along really well.

We're sports guys.

We have stuff that we can talk about like that forever.

Would you be willing to do it again for us and

record the conversation?

I don't even want to watch.

I just want to listen to the conversation.

You guys just put a Zoom recorder down.

Sure.

Yeah, but how much more fun would it be if we were in like a different car park with binoculars and we could we had a mic on their table?

Is that what you think fun is?

Is that what you do for fun?

Is that so fun?

Yes.

How do we record?

No, no, I'm into this.

I'm 100% into this.

How do we record the binocular view?

Oh, you can get

binoculars with a sensor, and I think.

Oh, like smart binoculars.

Yeah.

Ooh.

Can we do a bird's-eye lunch of Nick and Eric where we get smart binoculars?

Can we actually do this?

This could be a supplemental.

Yeah, I mean, I don't know that it's a very good supplemental, but we could definitely do it.

Well, it could be, we could all be mics.

Like, Jeff and I could sometimes talk about what you guys are talking about.

Why do you want to cuck their lunch?

Yeah, I don't.

Yeah, it's

into this.

Cut them all lunch cucks.

I think they're cucking themselves for lunch.

Well,

we could bring a couple of packed lunches to watch you eat.

Yeah, once again, this only makes it weirder.

I feel like this is, you've, you've turned this into a weird you thing.

No, it'd be like a steakout podcast.

Yes.

Yes.

This is a steak podcast.

Oh, speaking of steaks, we should get steaks.

You guys watch us through the window.

Yeah, I'm finally getting steaks.

I feel like a key part of the stakeout is that the people being steak aren't aware of the stakeout.

Well, here's the thing.

Maybe they won't know which lunch we're pervert on.

Also, Andrew, sometimes in the movie, they are aware of the steakout and they're feeding false information.

So we don't know.

Someone could be sneaking around behind us and putting a banana up our car.

Here's what we do.

Exactly.

Isa Foley style.

They

eat steak for lunch.

We watch and record while we eat Philly cheesesteaks in the car.

Philly cheese steakout?

Yeah, a Philly cheese steakout.

I love this because I'm just fascinated to find out what you talk about.

I'm going to put it on the, I'm going to put it on the idea list.

Hold on.

Yeah, yeah, put it.

Yeah.

Do you really find it hard to imagine what Nick and Eric would talk about?

I feel like it's so easy.

Yeah.

That's, I think, more a reflection of you than them.

Well, Gavin's not like a sports guy.

That's what I'm saying.

Like, I think he just doesn't get that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't think I've ever spoken to anyone about sport.

Interesting.

That's what I'm saying.

I think it's a deeper well than you're realizing.

I think it's going to be a fascinating window into the relationship of the two of them.

Your general interest, Gavin, which would you say you'd be able to talk the longest about?

Just like you're dropped in a scenario.

What is the most ideal thing?

You end up in a lunch with somebody that you don't really know.

What subject could you go the longest on?

Oh, I don't even know if he's ever going to do that.

Yeah.

He could talk about his RVB fandom.

So are you saying what sport or what subject in general?

What subjects?

Because Nick and Eric have sports.

That's like they could just go forever on that.

That's easy.

Radio.

Yeah, radio definitely.

I'm saying for you, what would be your equivalent of sports socially?

But who am I talking to?

Anybody.

It doesn't really matter.

Someone that, like, what is in the same way that you're like, I don't know what they'll talk about.

And we're saying they talk sports.

It's really easy to talk sports.

What would be the subject that would be your sports?

What is your sports?

Movies, games?

Movies, games.

Okay.

Cameras, I would feel like you could talk about frame rate.

Yeah.

Wow.

Law of reciprocity.

Who's going to talk to me about frame rate then?

Someone person that we're inventing.

120?

Oh, my God.

59.9?

Tell me.

Teach me.

Maybe not.

We're going to talk to Nick about if we ever have lunch.

Yeah.

Oh, let's have lunch.

That's got to be, and we have to record that because that's your show, right?

We have to figure out what your show is.

Yeah, if you guys are going to have lunch, we have to be in a car outside watching with binoculars recording it.

I think of all of the people on this show, it is easily Gavin and Nick are the one that I'm most interested in.

100%.

I'm not sure where that would go.

It's the combination that's had the least time.

Yes.

Maybe this show is just every iteration of all of us eating lunch.

And then once we get through it, then the series is over.

Eric, when you and I eat lunch together, I'm going to endeavor not to open my mouth to speak at the entire time.

Why?

Why would we do?

Why would you do it?

Because I think you and I could pull it off.

I think we could do it.

This steakout is exhausting.

I do think steakout steakout is a good idea where we eat steaks and the two other people eat chili cheese steaks.

Cheese steakout.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's a good idea.

A great idea.

Yeah.

Man.

I got some other great ideas for you guys today, too.

Well, Gavin's trying to mail his cum, so it's got to be better than that, right?

Yeah, absolutely.

Speaking of receiving things in the mail, we had a great loss that you guys don't know about.

I lost something for the show, for us, that I bought.

I was excited to share

in a better way than the way in which I'm doing it now.

But I'm thinking about content coming up in the future.

You're going to get,

just trust me.

Just trust me.

Don't question it.

This is something I wanted to reveal in a better way.

I can't question it.

I don't know what the fuck you said.

I said that I'm revealing it now.

I wanted to reveal this in better terms than the terms that I am.

But I bought something because we were coming up on when we would do another big movie battle.

And to add to the excitement of the battle, I wanted to get trophies so we'd have something on the line.

So I've been looking at different things I could use as a trophy.

And I ordered something that I thought would be the absolute best prize to receive if you came in dead last.

And that is,

let me put a photo of it in our chat.

Is it a vial of Gavin's cum?

You know what?

Surprisingly hard to find considering it was mailed everywhere.

I couldn't get it.

So no,

it is

an even more rare item of a graded copy of the Big Bounce on VHS that is still sealed.

What is that?

What's the big bounce?

That's the trophies?

Yes, I thought nothing would better represent last place than a mid-2000s crime comedy on VHS that's sealed and graded.

The bad news of why I'm I'm unveiling this now is it was stolen from my doorstop while still in the package.

And I just cannot, I keep thinking about it ever since it happened that

somebody stole a package from my front door, assuming something of value would be in it.

And to open it to discover the big bounce on VHS

graded.

I just, I really just want to know what's going on in their head.

I wonder if they thought it would have value because it is graded.

It cost $30 to buy that.

I've never seen a graded thing be cheaper.

So I was very excited to have this, but

it's gone.

Someone stole the Big Bounce.

How do you know it was stolen?

I don't know.

You should check eBay Canada to see if that magically shows up in the next couple of days.

I should, but

I'm glad that you guys don't really know what the Big Bounce is.

It's a movie I remember renting when it came out and not liking, and that's all I remember about it.

This movie came out in 2004, and it looks like something I wouldn't like then, nor would I like it now.

You don't like all the Hawaiian shirts we got going on on this front box?

It is, it is really something, man.

Yeah.

Owen Wilson, Morgan Freeman, Gary Sinise, Sarah Foster.

Hang on, not done.

Willie Nelson, Vinnie Jones, Charlie.

Vinnie Jones.

Oh, we got to see it now.

I feel like this was Willie Nelson's film era between the Big Bounce and the Dukes of Hazard.

Like, I think he really

2004 was the year he took a swing at it.

Total run time,

88 minutes.

Oh, that's a bad movie.

That's perfect.

That's great.

That's a bad sign.

88 minutes?

That's my kind of movie.

Yeah, I mean, that's cool that you know it's a bad movie, though.

Wow.

Yeah.

Yeah.

85 minutes is the perfect movie length.

It's so close.

I wonder what percentage of our audience has seen this, less than one percent.

Let us know in the comments.

We'll do a poll or something, but let us know in the comments.

Uh, budget 50 million, box office 6.8.

Oh, oh my god, there's huge names in that.

That, yeah, it's an Almer Leonard adaption.

I don't know if I've ever even seen like a trailer for this, nothing about this is familiar to me.

Finnie Jones probably made more money that week playing football.

You'd think the number one review is The Big Snooze, is the title of it.

It's just, yeah.

So I'm on the hunt again, essentially, is the moral of the story.

I think it's hilarious that somebody stole this.

And I would have loved to have seen the reaction.

Now I'm back looking to find the last place trophy.

I got a few other things lined up for it that I'll reveal when we get closer.

But last place, if anyone finds anything really dumb, that is movie memorabilia, I guess put it in the comments.

Let me know.

I'd love to see it.

Not a a lot of trivia for this film either.

Jeremy Renner was offered a role in this film, but turned it down to the SWAT, which is the only other Jeremy Renner movie I could think of from that time.

Giving me facts about the big bounce.

There's not a lot of facts to give about the big bounce.

I don't know what the big bounce is.

You're telling me the original novel is set in Windsweat, Michigan.

For this

abaditation, George Armitage shifted the location to the more amenable Hawaii.

Why are we still still talking about this?

What?

I don't want to talk about the big bounce anymore.

I hate the big bounce.

Do you have a steak in it?

Do you have a S-T-E-A-K in it?

Yeah.

Jeff, do one of your new content ideas involve bouncing.

It could.

I stumbled on some.

I was in the lab a little bit this weekend, and I think

I backed my way into inventing an entire new workout genre that I am very excited to share with y'all.

I was at Costco, as I am, once a week, every week of my life.

It is

one of my favorite places, but I don't like that other people go to Costco.

I don't like other people in general.

Other people at Costco are extra bad for some reason.

It's like the combination of the two, it just makes like, it's like chocolate and peanut butter into dickheads, right?

So while I was leaving.

Costco with a giant shopping cart full of shit and cars are, there was a line of cars behind me.

It's the thing that they always do.

I don't know know if you've been to the Costco's in Austin.

I'm sure it's the same everywhere, but a parking place, I would pay for one at the Costco in Austin.

I have to park like three stores over sometimes to go to the Costco that we go to because it's so fucking crowded all the time.

And while I was walking out, I was pushing my cart.

It was pretty heavy.

I was thinking, this is kind of a workout.

And I was thinking about how much I fucking hate working out.

And I have to trick myself into working out.

Riding bikes is how I trick myself into working out these days, right?

But that doesn't give me any kind of like upper body strength.

And I was like, this is almost like a workout pushing this cart if I pushed it long enough.

And then I thought, this asshole behind me is just waiting for me to get to my car so that I can load it up and back out and leave.

And then he can take my parking space.

If I just keep walking, how long is this guy going to follow me?

I invented dickhead calisthenics.

Here's what we do.

We go to Costco and Walmart parking lots on Saturdays or the mall where it's very crowded.

We take a shopping cart, we fill it up with heavy, non-perishable items, even bring weights from home if you want to.

And then you just push a shopping cart up and down rows for 20 minutes straight while people queue up behind you thinking that you're going to a parking space but you're not you're just getting a workout you're making them miserable getting in shape and making yourself happy all at the same time this is how i can trick myself into working out and i bet there's a lot of other dickheads out there in the world that would work out if they thought it was inconveniencing someone else Wow.

Wait, so somebody is following you looking for a space?

Yeah, like when you're walking through the parking lot and you're pushing your cart and there's a car behind you and they think that you're going to go and unload.

So they follow behind you so that when you unload your car and back out, they can swoop in and take the space.

But you just never do that.

You just keep going up and down the roads.

And if, and they're like, wow, this guy must not know where his car is.

He must have got lost.

It sucks to be him.

But they're still following you.

They're still following you.

You're going to waste five or six minutes of their time before they realize you're never going to find your car.

And then the next car will come up immediately and be like, oh, I just saw a guy.

He's got, he's at the end of the parking lot with a full shopping cart.

I'm about to get his space, but you're not because I'm going all the way back to the front of the parking lot.

And then I'm going all the way back to the the end of the parking lot again and after i don't know enough reps i will have gotten a workout uh my shit my my misery index will be through the roof because i've made you people unhappy and i can go home uh sated that i've worked out my mind my soul and my body now i love this idea i think this is fantastic my only thing and i would love to know if it's just a uh it could be a canadian thing it could be a community i live in thing for size this has never been a thing that has occurred or has been a thing that i've even considered doing.

This happens every parking lot in America every day.

Like you, you, when you can't find a space, you just keep going until you find one.

And then you'll see a car backing out and you'll be like, oh, great.

This will be my space.

And then sometimes there may be conflict if someone tries to steal that if another vehicle shows up.

But just following someone on foot seems like such an unnecessary move.

Like, why are you being married to this one person?

You're in a store.

Because this person is a guaranteed parking spot they're driving towards their car they're walking towards their car they've already completed their groceries their shopping cart is full you know if you stay behind this person and they're on an aisle you know they're headed to the somewhere on that aisle i'm surprised you've never seen this this happens to me every day of my life it's it's like explaining clouds yeah that's i think is interesting i i

I don't know.

As I said, it'd be interesting to know if it's cold.

Am I crazy?

I'd like to hear from the other three.

Are you guys understanding what I'm saying?

Or do you align with Andrew's never having seen somebody follow a person in a parking lot for a space?

And just to be clear, I completely get where you're coming from.

It's just not something that I have seen or would consider as a driver.

Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about, Jeff.

Exactly.

Yeah.

I think it could be a size of my community thing because a Costco is annoying to get a space at, but if you just keep driving, you will find one within five minutes in that parking lot.

But what about Gavin?

Do you understand this also?

Yeah.

Okay.

Because you don't drive, so I was just curious.

I've been a a passenger i've been in a car

i just feel like most places i go though if you just park at the back just like go just drive far away that's what i do go to costco and park at the back there is no back it's full yeah i've only been once yeah what you've only been to costco once yeah what really that's enough for him i mean he doesn't drive like you want to go get lunch you want to go

get lunch

yes the steak out will be on the move because they couldn't park gavin and nick should have to go get lunch at a costco Because here's like what Gavin's saying is right.

Yeah, just go park in the back away from everything, whatever.

But that doesn't stop everyone else.

And I think that's, I think those are the comments that we'll get on something like this where it's like, oh, I just park in the back.

It's like, right, then this doesn't apply to you.

This applies to every other person trying to park in the front, like the closest parking spot.

But there are no spots in the back at Costco.

I'm telling you, I was there Sunday.

We drove around for 12 minutes before, Like, I had to park at a Marshalls.

It was Costco

Whole Foods Marshalls.

I had to park at the Marshalls and walk through the Marshalls and the Whole Foods and into the Costco parking lot to get a space.

I would have happily parked in the back.

I would have happily, dude, at the Costco where I go to, people park on the fucking grass next to trees to go there.

These spaces you're talking about don't exist.

That's so interesting.

That's the whole point of this.

I have been to like Best Buy car parks before, though, with Americans, and they'll just do four or five loops of the front, trying to get a real close spot, and just be driving past 150 empty spots just then slightly further away.

Just

throw the car somewhere.

I'm right there with you, dude.

Get a little bit of exercise.

Go walk.

I like to walk.

That's why I want to invent this game where the job, the whole point of the job is to walk up and down the aisles.

Yeah, I think a lot of Americans on the daily will park as though it's raining, even when it's not.

Additionally, this is just the first, this is just the first exercise I've come up with.

I think that

this is kind of a thought starter.

This is kind of a, hey, do it, try it on for size, see how it is.

Oh, cool.

I got a workout.

I got to be a little bit of a dickhead.

It served both purposes.

How else can I apply this ideology to working out and find other ways that you can be a dickhead to other people while getting a workout yourself?

I'd love to hear it.

In a...

multi-story building, you watch someone go into a lift and then you run up the stairs and you hit the button on every floor from the outside.

Wow.

Until you're on the top and you're going to get your card in and your pay.

Oh, wow.

Gavin, that is great.

That's exactly what we're talking about.

That is dickhead calisthenics to a team, Gavin.

That is brilliant.

That's block two.

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When you go back home, Gavin, is there an adjustment for how to deal with drivers as a pedestrian for you?

Like, is the culture around navigating on foot in a vehicle or in an area with vehicles different.

Because I find that jarring whenever I was in Austin.

How is it jarring for you?

Like

nobody waits for you to cross.

You have to declare that as the walker.

Are you talking about just on a crossing or just anywhere?

Just on a crossing, generally, I'd say.

Here, it is a thing where if you're standing

to cross, a car will stop almost immediately.

Where in Austin, it felt like I had to declare that I was crossing.

Well, the light usually tells you.

In an environment without a light, I guess.

Jesus Christ.

Okay.

Well, yeah, in England, there's the zebra crossings, which they have to stop.

Okay.

So there's certain crossings where you could just walk across immediately, but depends on what you're.

I was just trying to like equate to Jess Costca thing of like, once again, I don't know if it is a different culture or if it is just a, I live in a smaller population area.

So it's just different.

I think you live in a small town that doesn't have a lot of traffic, probably, but Austin's the 11th largest city in America.

Yeah.

It would definitely be different, but it's also, I mean, they're layers of culture.

Costco, just in general, nightmare.

I wonder what the worst Costco is, like, as far as what country's Costco is the most annoying.

Because they're a global brand, I would assume, right?

There's Costco's everywhere around the world.

There are.

I know they're in Japan, at least.

I bet you Costco Japan is great.

Yeah,

I've heard Costco Japan's pretty cool.

And if you have like your Costco membership from the U.S., it gets you in there also.

Yeah.

And they have like fresh sushis that they make in-house and stuff.

It's supposed to be really good.

Yep.

Austin is the 11th largest city, according to this list.

12th is Jacksonville.

Yeah.

It's like Metro.

It's like metropolitan area or however the major cities.

I just wouldn't.

If you would have asked me, where does Jacksonville rank?

I would have been like 55.

I lived in Jacksonville for three and a half years and I wouldn't rank it in the top 50.

Wild.

Wild.

There should be an Olympic of costco guys

every country's costco guys

going head to head because we only have the u.s costco guys currently i want to see what japan's costco guys look like those costco guys he's talking about the rizzler and all those dudes yeah yeah he's talking about the

why does eric sound like he's in a small bag i said so far away eric but i love it because i know how much you love the rizzler it's like you got so excited your whole equipment broke when you're trying to unmute guys guys guys sorry, I started just slamming shit around.

I heard we were talking about the Rizzler.

I think the Rizzler is going to have the longest career of those crew by far.

I'm a big Rizzler guy.

Well, he's got the Riz.

He's got the Riz, and his gimmick is just him being him, where I feel like the Costco guys are reliant on the boom and the doom catching.

Yeah, it's much like how Tobuskis had epic win, fail.

Boom or doom will eventually run its course, I imagine.

Yeah, Yeah, but not the Rizzler.

Rizzler's forever.

No.

Speaking of forever, a long time ago, you and I got, you and I, you guys and I, what?

A long time ago, we landed on an idea.

This was during face days.

Okay.

We landed on an idea that our company, our brand, should be protected by a superhero or a mascot in some way.

Yes.

We began a global search.

We eventually landed on the smashing sportsman who I think was a perfect choice.

He was a journalist who developed arthritis and got angry about it, right?

Yep.

We attempted,

boy, were we surprised and happy to find out that the Smashing Sportsman was a property of Warner Brothers.

And so we immediately thought, this is great.

Maybe we can acquire the licensing from the Smashing Sportsman, who's not being used.

Or do like a collaboration of some kind.

Or do a collaboration.

Our efforts fell on deaf ears.

I don't think we were.

Shockingly.

Yeah, I don't think we were high on the priority list.

I don't begrudge Warner Brothers for that at all.

No, that's fair.

But I would consider that to have been a dead end, the Smashing Sportsman, right?

I absolutely would agree.

We are now fans of the Smashing Sportsman and maybe the only people alive who are familiar with him.

I was doing a podcast for So Alright yesterday, and I was talking about Woodsy Owl.

I was just at Disneyland and they had a Woodsy the Owl and a Smokey the Bear t-shirt.

So I thought that that was weird at Disney and I bought one because it's all about just how I like Woodsy the Owl and how it endeared itself to me as a child.

But when I was learning about Woodsy the Owl, it mentioned that he and Smokey, along with Johnny Horizon, were the Department of Agricultural Agriculture's forestry department mascots back in the day.

And I thought, Johnny Horizon, I've never heard of Johnny Horizon.

Let me look that name up.

Here's Johnny Horizon.

Johnny Horizon was a mascot used by the Bureau of Land Management in the United States in the 1970s, primarily for its anti-litter campaign.

Yeah, this land is your land.

When they had the bicentennial, they had a huge program led by Johnny Horizon, which was like, let's get 200 million Americans to clean up America for our 200th year, our bicentennial.

Here it is right now.

It was a huge success.

It was so successful.

They were in the process of creating Johnny Horizon national park grounds around the country that you could go and stay at.

It was like KOA campgrounds.

Johnny Horizon was instantly bigger than Woodsy Owl and Smokey the Bear.

However, he became very expensive very quickly.

And the people that created Johnny Horizon after like two years after the successful campaign in 74 and 75 for the bicentennial, they went to the Department of Agriculture and said, we need to double the budget on Johnny Horizon.

We want more of this.

The Department of Agriculture said, fuck you.

We don't need this.

We've got a bear and an owl.

We don't need the Marlboro man without a cigarette.

We've got our own shit.

So in 1982,

they relinquished their trademark on Johnny Horizon.

I think he's an independent player.

Really?

He was huge in the mid-70s, led a nationwide anti-littering campaign.

His only problem was he teamed up with Burl Ives when Burl Ives was like a big deal.

Like his only problem was that he cost too much money to produce.

And so they cut and ran and they

relinquished their ownership of him.

He isn't trademarked or owned by anybody.

You think can grab him for the tricentennial?

I think Johnny Horizon could be, he seems like a regulation kind of guy.

He wears a cowboy hat.

He's got an awesome fucking name.

He's royalty-free.

And he's already done a lot of good for the world.

This, I think Johnny Horizon's awesome.

I back him fully.

I do want to say that this also helps me back him.

He's friends with Snoopy.

There you go.

There you go.

This was part of a pledge that I started looking it up.

A part of a pledge that they did with Johnny Horizon was Snoopy pounce on pollution.

And it's not just Snoopy.

It's Snoopy talking about join the Johnny Horizon team.

It's a winner.

And it's Snoopy full on.

Dude, this rocks.

He could even start a band and we'll call it Bring Me Johnny Horizon.

Oh, man.

we oh that man we suck that sucks we'll have to uh like here's here's johnny horizon and burl ives here's we'll have to do some research and look into it further but guys i think we might have stumbled on i love a mascot and protector who already protects the environment why can't he protect our regulation environment and since he's so popular or he was so popular why don't we bring him back to prominence why don't we become the face of anti-littering campaigns in 2025 you know what i'm saying why don't we get involved We're getting on to the 250th year, right?

For it was the bicentennial.

What's a 250-year anniversary?

Because that's next year, isn't it?

It's a very good point.

Yeah, what do they call that?

I don't know.

What's a

millennium?

Whoa.

That's a cool.

Wow.

Sep sep semi-semi-quincentennial.

What?

Semi-quincentennial.

Or

a

sester centennial.

Or a quarter millennial.

Or another thing also written here, the big 250.

Guys, there's one more piece to this I just thought I would throw out there.

Okay.

In Twin Falls, Idaho.

Far from the prying eyes of Washington, I'm reading this.

Every April, the townfolk gather to honor the memory of their their hero on Johnny Horizon Day.

They do what he first asked of them in 1965.

They clean up the land because it's their land.

Every April in Twin Falls, Idaho, they have a Johnny Horizon cleanup Idaho Day where everybody gets together and celebrates Johnny Horizon and they clean up litter.

I think we should go to that.

I don't think we can go this year, obviously, but I think like we should, that should be in our like must-visit places around the world, like Deputy Indiana, the Beanholes Days, this thing.

I'm so sorry.

I'm looking at it.

The last proclamation of Johnny Horizon Day was Saturday, May 4th, 2024.

And currently, there is no scheduled proclaimed Johnny Horizon Day in

Twin Falls County, Idaho.

Then we might be stepping in at the exact right time.

Yeah, we need to

keep this going.

We got to keep this going.

I think Johnny Horizon and Ratty Boy would be real close.

I like this.

I don't agree with that at all.

I think Johnny Horizon would punt Ratty Boy into a lake.

You know what?

Ratty Boy would like that.

Andrew, are you feeling threatened that possibly Johnny Horizon could outshine Johnny Caviar?

No, not at all.

They are first name related, though.

They are.

Yeah.

Caviar has a level of slime to him that nobody can compare to.

I'm not worried about being out-prestiged.

It's not very hard to do.

That's not really Caviar's thing.

Is there there anything more regulation than a guy without a cigarette and a cowboy hat the marlmorrow man who's not smoking his lungs out pretty cool

yeah i like it johnny horizon it's an awesome name it's pretty cool like johnny horizon yeah i and again friends with snoopy that's that's got to count for something it counts for a lot i think uh as a side to this something i've been meaning to share i feel like you'll especially enjoy this.

I went,

Jeff, typically you follow that with a name, that phrase.

I was just loading up a photo.

I went deep into the history of the ANW Burger family because there was a thing quite a while ago where you guys weren't familiar with the ANW Burger family because I don't think it's really a thing in the US.

Like all the burgers at ANW in Canada are named after like family members.

It's like the papa burger or the mama burger or the teen burger.

And I posted something and Eric said, what the fuck is a teen burger?

And so it led me on a thing of, oh, you guys just know Rudy the Root Bear as your AMW logo.

We know what?

What are we talking about?

What the fuck do we know?

You don't know about Rudy the Root Bear?

Oh, clearly these idiots only know about Rudy the Root Bear.

So let me just start with the Burger Family because that's the central point of what I want to talk about.

I didn't expect having to do a history lesson on Rudy the Root Bear.

But when AMW started as a chain, They had a group of characters called the Burger Family, and that was their whole gimmick, was that they had burgers and it was a family, and they all liked burgers, and you could order specific burgers of that type.

And when I asked me a question real fast, yeah, go ahead.

Is this an American company or a Canadian company?

So that's a really weird one to answer because it's both.

Like they're it's an existing brand, but they're owned separately.

Yes.

So the Canadian version of AW is completely unique to the American version, although there is overlapping things.

There is no root bear.

There is a degree of overlap, but the burger family still very much prevalent in Canada.

They got rid of the burger family when Rudy the Root Bear came into the scene in the U.S.

But when you made an AEW restaurant, you had to bring the family into your restaurant.

Like it was part of the setting up of it.

So all of these giant plaster family statues existed, but then Rudy the Root Bear became way more popular.

And so they had to get rid of these statues.

Because they were no longer representatives in the U.S.

They were just characters.

So there are communities that are obsessed with like trying to track down where these statues ended up.

And there's some great resources you can find online of people that have just pursued and or found how they've been repurposed.

So this is the Papa Burger, but he has been repainted and is at a car dealership.

Oh my God.

He's just a car dealer guy.

This is

some Papa Burger and Teen Brother stuff that they found in a mini golf course unrelated to A ⁇ W.

This is Papa Burger that has been repainted and had his eyes changed to look, but like you could clearly tell it is

the ice cream guy.

So it is almost like you're saying, in the sense of like, these are characters that have been abandoned, but then adopted by other businesses because restaurants had to sell these giant fucking statues that they did a pain for.

It's like they got fired and had to find other jobs.

Yeah.

So as we maybe explore deeper into becoming affiliated with Johnny Horizon, maybe also any listeners, if you catch the burger family around in an unofficial new employment role, let us know.

We should find a papa burger holder man and just snap the head off, face it upwards, and make our regulation Ian statue outside the office.

Oh, that would be so funny.

Just repaint them.

I really like that.

You're talking about these mascots, and it reminded me of something that I learned not too long ago.

You know, the Jack and Diane song at the beginning where he says, Sucking on chili dogs outside the table.

You know, it's not about chili, like the hot dog, right?

Oh, chili dogs are what their slurpey slush puppies are called.

Yeah, I mean, I've had a, they're my favorite, actually, but I never made that connection in my life.

Neither did I

until

like a, like a, a few weeks ago.

Everyone thinks it's sucking on like a chili dog, like a like a hot dog.

And it's not.

It's a slush puppy.

Wow.

Sorry, just to add to how fucked up these things get, here's another Papa.

This is a Papa Burger sprout.

What?

Good lord.

Wait, what?

Hang on.

Okay.

What the fuck?

Hang on.

He's the giant that sells vegetables, but he's holding a brick and he's next to jelly beans.

I know.

I don't know what business he's promoting there but yeah i just the idea of like papa burger the great american family and just seeing all of the roads that they've had to follow since then i like the one with the ice cream they didn't put the ice cream on the high up hand they just had that hand empty he's just hanging out to the side these are these are crazy these are

canada's weird why would that be the one you hang on to a w how strange i've eaten and drank a lot of a and w in my life and i've never heard of the bear or these guys that's crazy Really?

Hey, oh, dude, these idiots only know about the root bear.

What the fuck are you talking about?

Maybe 2025 is the year regulation gives back.

This is the year we created the fruit demon.

We're encouraging fruit consumption and healthy eating.

We're anti-litter now because of Johnny Horizon.

We're a real do-gooder kind of podcast.

This is, I'm on a website where it's just collecting them.

This is freaky, Papa Burger.

Gavin's going to mail his comb every day.

What the hell?

He's real freaky.

Holy hell.

He's playing like NFL.

He's like playing like NFL Blitz.

What is this?

The burger looks great on that one.

At some point, that will still exist in the world and everybody who knew what it was.

Wow.

Wow.

Yeah.

There'll be no connection to it.

It'll just be a creepy.

Who made that creepy old guy with the hot hamburger?

Oh, Rudy the Root Bear did that?

What the fuck?

I did something the other day that I haven't done, I think since I was a kid, where I kind of like popped my nut.

You know what I mean?

No.

No, I definitely don't.

You ever like as a kid, you know, kind of sit funny and you kind of, you, you squash a testicle and then it just shoots out somewhere else into the scrotum.

Yes.

Sure, I guess.

Yeah, I just would never describe it as pop a nut.

I just feel like I've, I had stopped doing that.

And then it happened and it was like a painful memory that brought me back to childhood.

Slip the ball, maybe?

Is that how you would say it?

Does it ever worry you what other painful childhood memories there are out there that you forgot that you're someday going to dislodge like a ball?

That's actually really funny.

Do you think like Evil Knievel had repressed memories and like he'd stub his toe and remember just being lit on fire and falling through it like a mountain?

I don't like remembering something unpleasant from a long time ago and being like, oh, I didn't think about that for 30 years because God knows what else I haven't thought about for 30 years.

Yeah.

Like I had one of those when we recently did a Were Songs draft and I was thinking, like, what is just general, genuine, terrible music that I've heard?

And it brought back a YouTube video that I hadn't seen in like 17 years and hadn't thought about in that time either.

The premise of having those, but for pain is terrifying.

I wonder if anybody's ever stubbed their toe, like getting up on their coffee table and then remembered being kidnapped by Russian drug dealers when they were six.

And they just repressed it.

Oh, that reminded me when the Russian drug dealer stepped on my toe.

Oh, fuck.

I was kidnapped.

Anytime Harry or Marv have to paint a house, it's just trauma.

They just see the paint cans.

PTSD from a previous career.

Oh, man, they would have the worst PTSD, right?

They went through a lot, those two.

No, they had a lot of time in prison to think it over.

Well, they escaped, though, for Home Alone, too.

That's true.

One of the greatest things things anyone has ever given me, by the way, is TPG's screenplay for Home Alone.

Yeah.

Two.

I don't even know if it would be, I guess, a direct sequel.

Not necessarily two, because there wasn't two.

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I had a surprise this week from Meg.

She listened to an episode of this podcast.

Why?

Hone the first time.

Why?

Was it to like get you?

No, she just thought, you know, other people listen to it.

I might as well see what it's all about.

What a time to start.

I like Meg too much to make her listen to the show.

Yeah,

what did she think?

Does she like us less now?

Now I think she's going to go back to the beginning of

face and get the whole war going.

But

she started off by listening to last week's episode.

And I've just discovered something slightly disturbing.

She's a total Andrew sympathizer.

What?

Pretty much everything Andrew said, she was like, yeah, I totally get where he's coming from.

The enemy from within.

Wow.

Here's the thing, though, with that.

I feel like I saw that way more for that episode than I have for any other episode.

That's true.

That is true.

There might be false confidence.

I think that is not going to stick around.

So what were we wrong about that you were right about last episode?

I think people, not even necessarily wrong, but people were like, oh, yeah, I knew what he meant by sleep amnesia.

What was the other thing?

There was a lot of stuff.

Like there were

inordinate amount of posts where people are going, I totally sided with Andrew on all this stuff.

Oh, I knew exactly what he was talking about.

And it's like, I don't even know what it was that we were like squabbling about.

Oh, you know what?

Part of it was the real nerds came out to back me on Peter Molyneux.

Oh, the Peter Molyneux.

All the real gamer nerds that have spent too much time reading about Peter Molyneux, like I have, were like, no, he is right.

A hundred percent Peter Molyneux love.

I still stand by populist Fable 1, 2, and 3 being awesome fucking games.

They're great.

And I appreciate Peter Molyneux for this.

I appreciate those as well.

Maybe the maybe the full name thing too.

Oh, yeah.

full name

yeah that that was something i was surprised people don't put their full like what do you think full name is like if the glass is full i can't fit any more into it that's what i learned about burger eating

what

that was that was when i was you know going back to the old things that was just how stomachs work oh the burger i could never do the burger channel he's going back to fucking place 32.

that's what i learned about burger eating well whenever i hear there's a limit that's always what i imagine because you eat you you when you go in, you sort of have this idea that your stomach is endless, but that's not how that works.

It's like you have a glass.

I don't think I've ever thought my stomach was endless.

Yeah, but you also don't think much about food in general.

So that's, I would never accuse you of ever having

eyes greater than your stomach, whatever that phrase is.

It is interesting, though, to think about your eating speed.

Like the speed that it physically moves out of your stomach into your intestines.

Could you just keep food coming like a conveyor belt at the exact speed of your digestion?

Theoretically, I think you could.

I think you could, but I think that song that goes do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do would have to do it.

And we'd have to see the food going down conveyor belt style into your stomach and then down out of your ass.

It also takes too long.

That was my problem is whenever we do these burger bets and I would lose them.

It was because the digestion took longer than the bet.

It's like, oh, I got no time to refuel.

Well, yeah, that's the whole point is like, it's not interesting if you ate a hundred hamburgers over the space of a year.

And yet we're counting hot dogs.

Well, that's true.

Megan agreed with me on that one.

Oh, people also agreed with you on the acclaim logo.

That's right.

Meg.

It's in Megan.

That was weird.

Make sure she listens to that.

Yeah, that was strange.

Well, she started at the beginning now, so she won't hear this one.

Oh, that's good.

Slip that in.

That's pretty good.

I've already lost Meg by this point.

That's fine.

Never mind.

It's one thing to go back and listen to 250 episodes of a, or I guess 280 episodes.

No, 250 episodes of a show.

But it's another thing to go back and listen to 250 episodes of a show starring your husband that all happened in your house while you were living there.

What a weird, like, she's going to have so many like

memory connections to things that happened in the house that are gonna, she's gonna have context for now.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

And it's a real time capsule, too.

She's about to fill in like the last five years of

confusion in her life.

Yeah, I think the first episode is a half an hour conversation about turnip prices.

Animal Crossing.

Kicked it all off.

I'm in a new era personally.

I'm on that CPAP now.

I'm a threat.

Oh, yeah.

Danger to society.

How'd you sleep last night?

It's been a journey.

It's been a little bit of a roller coaster overall.

So I started and I fell asleep and I had a great sleep and I woke up.

And then we've been doing Mario Party March, where every morning I have to get up and play one turn and then previously would just go back to sleep.

I went to bed early because I thought I don't know how this is going to impact my sleep.

So I'm going to be careful.

So I went to bed at 8.30, woke up at 11.30,

was awake for for about an hour, then went back to sleep and woke up at around 5 a.m.

and thought, I'll just stay awake to be safe, to be cautious.

I did that for an hour and then I got kind of sleepy again.

And I thought, I can sleep for 45 minutes and trust that I'll set my alarm as I did.

Everything's fine.

I then woke up with my partner standing above me and all of the lights on in the bedroom saying, you're late.

You're late.

I had slept through.

through, it was the wildest.

Like, I guess I had like

six months of bad sleep that I cleansed in one evening.

And they had spent like 15 minutes trying to wake me and they could not wake me.

And

I woke up in such a panic rushing to that Mario Party turn because we had recently done a pet peeves draft and one of us drafted general lateness.

So when I heard you're late, my first thought was, oh no, this person's going to be so peeved.

And so I panicked and none of my setup would work.

And it was great because you all were like, what's going on?

And I'm like, I'm so sorry.

I just started CPAP.

And then there was a lot of excitement around it.

Yeah, because you sounded completely different.

You didn't sound like mourning and croaky.

You were like, oh, hey, sorry.

I just had a really

great sleep.

We talked about it.

I talked about it later.

It was like talking to an Andrew from 2022.

It was so weird.

You were a different person, and I think we all immediately loved it.

It was great.

No offense to Kurt, Andrew, but we were just really excited to see how rested you were.

I don't think you sounded that like just at peace with yourself in a year.

Yeah.

It's phenomenal.

Well, we also like, I'm generally not a morning person, which is tough, especially with CPAP stuff and just with the time zones.

I have to get up earlier than you guys for everything that we do or start earlier than I would necessarily enjoy.

But

so we did that.

And then I went back to bed after that Mario Party turn.

I was like, this is great sleep.

I just slept essentially that whole day.

It was crazy.

Put the mask on.

Come on.

The only problem I had was that, well, actually, a few problems, but one of them was that it's created a bruise on my nose.

I need to get a different mask.

It's just, it doesn't quite fit right and they'll clamp it down.

But the bigger problem was I realized that I don't know how sleep works anymore i'm having to re-educate myself on sleep because when you are never actually getting good sleep you constantly have the ability to sleep so i slept the whole day and then i laid in bed at like 11 p.m that night and i put the mask on and i i sat there for 30 minutes and just it was so weird sleep didn't occur and i was like i guess i guess i'm just not sleepy i guess i just can't just sleep

and so then i fucked up my sleep that night because like I slept too much during the day.

I haven't had to think about like, oh, I need to, I have so much of this.

I can overdo this.

So that was the whole thing.

First night of CPAP, it was like I was in a time machine.

I would, I would instantly fall asleep for like eight hours.

It was great.

Second night, disaster because I had spent so much time sleeping the previous.

Terrible sleep.

Couldn't get the mask to fit properly because I do still have a giant head and I don't, the straps barely work, work but I do get them to work at certain angles um

I experienced your thing Gavin I had a gassy gut yesterday

I sure did

I uh

I woke up I was like oh this is real unpleasant I don't want to have a deal with this I see what he was talking about did it come out your mouth or your anus uh anus for sure

I had to use the bathroom and I didn't realize that until I was on the toilet of like, oh boy, I am aired up right now.

This is crazy.

I actually think that the air was probably the cause of me having to use the bath.

Yeah, it was phantom poo potentially.

It was.

Yeah.

So that has been that experience.

I'm on day three, still learning how sleep works.

I think I'm going to get there.

I love the fact that you've been operating this whole like last six months like one of those old phones that when they run at a battery, if you just wait a bit, you can turn it back on and it will operate

at dog shit levels until it turns off again.

You've just been doing life like that as like a drained phone battery.

Yeah, but now it's expectation.

So it's on, I've had an issue where this

morning I went to sleep.

And now when I wake up from CPAP and it's a good CPAP sleep, I'll go like, oh, how far into the future have I gone now?

This magical.

Oh,

wait, this 80 minutes?

This is no, no,

this is not how this works.

So I felt like Superman for one day because it was like the sleep was insane.

I was having ridiculous dreams.

And now I think I'm just returning to earth as a normal person, but it is

a process.

You just discovered drug addiction.

The first time you do it, it's so fucking great.

It solves all your problems.

You have the best day of your life.

And then the next day, it's not quite as good and not quite as good.

And you're just like, why the fuck isn't it like day one?

Third day, I'm on it a little bit, but you guys are going to be like, oh man, he's papping too hard.

He's got a bruise on his nose.

I can see that scab.

Andrew, you're out of control, man.

So you've gone full face instead of just nose.

Yeah, I bought a new mask that I think will work better for that.

I also just not realizing

how it should work.

Like, I don't think I had a good seal on it the first night I used it at all because it just keeps blowing air into your face.

And

I have to sneeze.

That's another thing.

I'm learning new things.

I had my first CPAP sneeze last night.

That was a panic.

Terrifying.

You get all strapped up and then you realize you have to sneeze.

There's five seconds of trying to get the mask off because I feel like sneezing in a CPAP mask, a full face mask, would be terrible.

What if CPAP was short for CPAP smear?

Oh.

That would be a different product then, I think, if that's what it was.

I'm not figuring out what that what that product would do.

Yeah, I don't know.

Trying to think if there's anything else.

I'm still learning.

I'll give an update next week.

I'm sure I will continue to learn things of how humans actually operate.

I had to get used to the fact that there was something on my face.

Like before I went with the nose one, I had the whole mouth and nose one.

And I tried to take a pill and I forgot to take the thing off.

Just

crashed into my face and flew onto the floor.

You kind of just forget that you got something right there.

I just visualize when I have problems with it and not that I've had problems, but my strategy going in was that I'm just a fighter pilot and Independence Day with my mask, and I'm not going to be a bitch like Harry Condig Jr.

and rip that mask off.

I'm going to, I'm locked in.

I'm not going to crash my goddamn jet.

Why did he take the mask off in that?

I don't know, because I think in the movie, it's like he runs out of oxygen, but that's the thing that provides the oxygen, I think.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, if you, if you're...

connected to air and the air runs out, it is worse to be breathing an empty pipe than just the air.

That's true.

It'll squeeze your face.

We've recently learned if you try to breathe into an empty pipe.

But that has been my CPAP journey.

I'll keep you updated.

Gavin has been texting me.

At some point, I ran out of water.

I guess I got to change the water on it.

Does yours use distilled water?

Yes.

So you're a...

This is probably my biggest piece of advice to you with the pap, and because you're a messy bastard.

Whoa, clean it, clean it.

Whoa, whoa.

Clean it.

Clean everything.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa.

Can I express some ignorance?

What is the water for?

It's a humidifier.

So it's dry i thought it just pumped oxygen into you i didn't realize it was humid oxygen i guess that's yeah mean me neither had no idea well it's not it's air it's just pumping air oh okay i did have you know what gavin

you just use nose right you don't use the full mask yeah i had an issue last night where i took some air in and i stored it in my cheeks

and because of that

I could never, it was then pumping too much air.

I could never adjust the balance because it thought too much the air was more air was needed than actually was.

I did not know how to, I had to take the whole mask off because I didn't know how to react or counter the amount of airflow that was being shoved into my face.

Yeah, that happens to me sometimes, but because I have the just the nose thing on, I can vent.

So if my cheeks are all puffed up, sometimes I'll be like nodding off and I'll come back around.

My cheeks will be full of air and I just have to be like,

I don't got a vent.

I don't have a vent.

So I need to figure out that system, I guess.

It must be such a good night of sleep because it sounds like you guys have made sleep so complicated.

If you can sleep without one, you're lucky.

It is nice.

I haven't slept this good since I was,

I don't know.

It's been a while.

It's been a few different apartments.

It's crazy to just close your eyes and then wake up.

and it's different.

The time is completely different.

So what would it be before, though?

Because you said you used to just be sat up i'd sit up and then i would i'd fall asleep and then i'd wake up and i'd look at my phone and it would probably be like 50 minutes

50 minutes later i didn't when i did my test i had like a hundred five disturbances an hour and i am averaging less than one so it is a dramatically different sleep experience And I was getting like 20 something an hour, and that was enough to prescribe a CPAP.

So the fact that you had 100, that was like, that's almost two a minute.

Yeah.

I was doing burger numbers.

I didn't even know it.

That's crazy.

I'm so happy that you're going to become a regular human.

You're going to become like a superpowered man who can sleep.

It's crazy.

But realizing that it's not a superpower and that you have to, you have to limit it.

It's not a time machine.

Because it really felt like a time machine after night one.

And as I said, being brought back to earth on it.

You have to use your power responsibly.

I, I, yeah.

I'm cleaning it too.

I just like the idea of like one, one second, it was pitch black, and you were just testing this thing out, and then suddenly you're six minutes late for Mario Party.

Terrified, not even knowing that I could be.

I drank a Red Bull in that time as well.

When you told us that it was CPAP, it changed everyone's tune from like, oh, we're going to give him shit to, dude, that's so odd.

Oh, I'm so happy.

We were all so supportive.

It was so sweet.

It was, we were so supportive and then thought about it later and went like, he, the way you sounded, I know Jeff brought it up earlier, but like

it was so, hey, what's going on?

You were different.

You were a difficulty?

Hey, it was like, are you

okay?

I think I was still very much out of it.

And if it was another scenario, me being seven minutes late, I either would have been much more aggressively apologetic and or much more just prepared to defend myself for whatever had occurred.

I think the fact that we're playing Mario Party so early for you every morning is really detrimental to your gameplay.

Like, you're making some nuts decisions.

I disagree.

So, we filmed turn 14 today, which, if you haven't watched, please check it.

We're doing a thing where we're playing Mario Party every day.

I'm sure you know, but we're doing it every day and we're releasing it the following day.

We're doing 30 turns, so 30 consecutive days of this.

We are at turn 15.

We just did turn 14 today or i guess tomorrow we'll do 15

and uh

it has been an insane process because we do it first thing in the morning every day for me at least 6 30 a.m yeah is when i wake up it's such a weird way to start the day yeah we are waking up together every day for a month And I'm very excited for that to end as much as I also love spending that morning time with you all.

I don't think it impacted my gameplay today.

My bad sleep apnea night definitely impacted the mini-game I did with Jeff where we had to do basic math on rotating the platform.

Oh, my God.

I just died.

What?

What a day of that, man.

That was crazy.

I reached out to Jeff as soon as we finished.

I said, that was on me.

I will make that happen.

I'm sorry.

Dude, it was brutal.

That was fucking fun.

He apologized to me.

Because I could handle one.

So it was a thing where like there'd be three things you needed to dodge.

And I was really good at locking in on making sure one of those things didn't happen.

And I could not do anything about the other things

which is not fun though to be like on a Saturday playing it and then looking at the map and being like oh I'm excited to go past that spot maybe in the middle of next week yeah yeah look out Wednesday here

I get really excited at like 6 a.m every day if I happen to be awake like once the turn is within about an hour or so like, oh, what's going to happen?

Who's going to steal something?

It's been a lot of fun.

And it's been surprisingly less heated than I would anticipate to this point.

But I think that is only going to crank up now as we head into the back half of this game.

Yeah, I agree.

Shit's starting to feel a little real.

It is.

There's under the table dealings that have occurred.

Bribes that have been made.

Some star theft.

Some star theft.

Backstabbing.

Backstabbing.

Some front stabbing.

Some front stabbing.

Reconciliation, potentially.

Nope, but that's all video game talk.

We don't really talk about that on the main podcast.

We do hope you check it out, though, because it's free, and we don't know how to make it easier to watch than that.

It is, it's on our Patreon every day.

I guess I could come to your house and show it to you on an iPad every day.

Can you imagine the frequent flyer miles you could rack up doing that?

An iPad traveling via an iPad, the show, like it's the Wu-Tang album.

We should probably wrap up, though.

We've been going for a little bit.

I do want to throw this out there before we leave.

One last idea, since we're kind of in a draft era, I feel like right now, I'm really enjoying it.

I wanted to throw another one I had onto the pile.

If you guys like it, I already pitched it to some of you.

One-hit wonder draft.

Yes.

Yep.

Okay.

There you go.

All right.

That doesn't have to be music.

That could be, there's all kinds of one-hit wonders.

Yeah, as immediately.

And I say this as a big fan of the product itself.

I don't think the big league chew guy did anything else but big league chew.

Yeah, now I have so many that are so good immediately.

I don't want to say them out loud because I don't want to lose them.

You know what I mean?

Don't want to give the good ideas up, but yeah, one-hit wonder draft, I think, could be a real good one.

So, we should throw that on the pile first at some point in the undefined future.

Sorry, specifically about the big league chew thing, that guy was a major league baseball player, wasn't he?

Uh, he played for the Portland Hawks.

I don't know if he

did.

Did he play in the MLB?

I thought he was an MLB.

He could easily be.

Either way, I thought that was a very funny example to be like, this guy's never done anything.

Major League player.

Ah, shit.

He played baseball at definitely a professional level.

That is true.

But Big League Chew, though, that was his hit.

He was a role player in the dugout and the field.

Yeah, where was his soccer slam or his football fruities or his other sports-related gums?

And in an era where they got rid of all the candy that resembled tobacco, he ran through it.

He held on.

He made it through that storm.

He's the sole survivor of that.

Yeah, you go to dick sporting goods right now and they sell a tub of big league chew right at the counter as you walk out.

You won't see candy cigarettes anywhere.

No.

They have to lie about what they are.

They're just like candy sticks now.

Terrible.

Do you think we should ever revisit any of our previous discussions from the podcast from before drafts?

Like at one point, we were talking about the best sequels

for anything.

Oh, we we should.

We also talked about doing a worst third movies draft, too.

Yes.

Oh, yeah.

Man, I don't want to overload the audience with drafts, but I feel like we've got so many good drafts on deck.

I don't think that is a thing.

What, the audience?

No, they exist.

They're there, dude.

I promise you.

They're there.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Outside of my house?

Outside of our homes?

Because we got Meg on that.

We got to to wrap this up.

Somebody end this thing.

Now that Andrew's sleeping at night, he's discovering that there's an outside world.

Wait a second.

Are you telling me that these things go out to people?

I think now I'm starting to understand his Costco confusion a little bit more.

Thanks for listening to another episode of the Regulation Podcast.

We really hope you enjoyed it.

If you did, maybe go on over to our Patreon.

We are the Regulation Pod over on Patreon and consider watching some of those gameplay videos for free or maybe even becoming a member, a paying member, or not.

I don't care one way or the other.

I just want you to be happy.

I want you to be the happiest you can be throughout the course of your day.

And for some people, that includes Patreon content for a whole lot of eight people in the 8 billion people in the world, right?

Whole lot of people, it doesn't, but there are a few that it does.

So, if you're one of those people, that'd be cool.

Anyway, we sure enjoyed hanging out and having this dumb conversation with you.

And hopefully, we will see you next week for another episode of the Regulation Podcast.

I can't believe you didn't let Nick do the outro.

Yeah, I thought you did a great job, though.

So we'll see you next time.

Bye.

Bye, don't inhale popcorn.

Bye.