A Retraction // Andrew Transformers Panton [44]

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Hello Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Regulation Podcast.

This is episode 44.

My name is Jeff.

With me, as always, Eric, Andrew, Gavin, and Nick.

I'm going nicknameless this week.

We're going to go back to, we're just doing first names today.

Then what was the point of the nicknames?

A nickname is there when you want to use it, but you don't always use it.

You don't want to overuse it.

We didn't overuse our nicknames last year.

That's a great point.

I was hoping you would use it.

So,

well, just to see if you would keep calling Nick Nick the mechanic or the mechanic.

Oh, yeah.

Some people don't like that I call him the mechanic and they think that I've got it wrong somehow and that I'm not doing it on purpose.

I think Mecha Nick is so much cooler than Mechan Nick.

Mechanic is a dude named Nick who fixes cars.

Mechanic is a giant robot named Nick who fixes cars.

Hell yeah.

That's right.

I imagine him as just Nick as he is now, normal human man, but with one of those wind-up things sticking out of his back.

You know what, though?

Oh, I like that too, but for some reason, he has Oakley razor blades on.

Yeah.

He's got the wind-up in his back and then Oakley razor blades on.

He's like a, that's his, uh, I don't know why, that's his robot look.

Wow.

Maybe we can get in the lab and make Nick a backpack that looks like one of those wind-up keys.

He can only wear it if he has the boots on.

Yeah,

he's got to be wearing the boots.

He can't be making cool fashion items before he wears the boots.

Mecha Nick is powered by red boots.

Yeah, we'll wind him up and he'll just plod around in the boots.

Key, right?

It's always a key in the back for some reason.

Yeah.

Are those what you were picturing, Jeff?

Yes,

just making sure.

Just making sure we were on the same page.

Yeah.

Like 80s

tough guy glasses.

80s tough guy glasses.

All right, my server's off.

Oh, cool.

Right on.

Good to have you back.

Hey, good to have you back, man.

Hey, before we get going too far today, I need to do something I rarely do and I hate to to do it, but I got to do it because God, goddammit, I'm a man of integrity.

I need to issue a partial retraction.

I did something that I don't do.

I listened to last week's episode.

Oh.

And now, and I realize why I don't do it because there is nothing worse than hearing me fuck up a story.

This is, I fucked up the beginning of that gross story yesterday in

similar ways to how I fucked up the horse down the mountain.

And I've been so mad at myself ever since I was just driving in the car yesterday with Emily.

And I was like, oh, I'll turn it on and listen to it.

Two seconds in, I was like, I'm going to fucking kill myself.

I can't believe I blew it so badly.

I start off the story by talking about Emily's getting nauseous, right?

And I'm like, oh, like two in the morning, she wakes up and she, that didn't happen.

That I conflated that because I was in a rush to get the story out and I hadn't like worked through the story beats in my head because telling a story takes a little bit of work and preparation.

you want to get it right.

You know, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta find the right, I don't know, the right cadence to tell it.

And so, I was a little rushed into the story, and I just short-circuited part of it.

She didn't get sick at two in the morning and then get up and throw up.

That's what I did, and I gave that to her as well as to me.

What actually happened is we were in line for Space Mountain at like 6 p.m.

and she looked at me and she said, I don't think I can be in this line anymore.

And I'm like, What does that mean?

She's like, I don't think I feel well.

And so, we left, left Burndog and Vanessa in the line, and we went and sat down on a like a bench for like 15 minutes.

And then she said, We have got to go back to the hotel.

So then she's like, I'm going to be sick.

And so she was like holding it in.

We walk out of Disneyland.

I don't know if you've walked out of Disneyland lately.

It's about a half an hour process to get to the Uber stand.

And then we get into an Uber.

And this is what I feel the worst about because this is probably the funniest part of the story.

We get into the Uber.

Emily just like puts her head against the window because she's like, and just is like holding her tummy, you know, like trying to get through this.

And it's three miles to the hotel.

It's the Weston, but it's 6 p.m.

on a Friday.

So it takes 36 minutes to get there because of just like literally sitting at stoplights, not being able to go because of pedestrians just crossing the street constantly, you know, and not paying attention to traffic laws.

And so in that fucking Uber, the guy goes,

hey, it's your first trip to Disney.

And we're like, oh man, it's been a long day not feeling well.

My wife's feeling a little sick.

He's like, oh, yeah, that happens if you, yeah, it's a little bit too much excess.

That's right.

And he just goes, it's like, oh, man, my wife and I moved here last week.

We just took our daughter to Disney for the first time last week.

What was your favorite ride?

How long are you here for?

And I'm like, we're just here for two days.

And he's like, oh, yeah, a lot of people are here for a week.

And I'm like, what are you doing for the whole week?

How do you?

And he just keeps going and he won't stop.

Eventually, he dies down, but his music is playing and he's playing like.

I don't know, something Jeremy would like maybe, like

not Lincoln Park, but something like that.

That's so funny.

You know,

I don't know the bands like Breaking Benjamin or like Sad Melissa or like

bloody Steve or like I don't know some like 2010 like metal-y rock nonsense that I just don't get and it's fucking blaring it's just going constantly and this motherfucker to be cool and to be the fun uber has

has

installed rows of leds on his dashboard and on the side of the car uh like you know where you roll the windows down and then under the seats and under the dashboard and they change colors rapidly to the music so it's like yellow red red, blue, red, yet, red, red, green, red, red.

While the music is blaring, and the guy's like going, like, oh, you gotta try.

Yeah, you gotta go on Pirates of the Caribbean.

It's the my three-year-old loved it.

That was the funny.

And Emily's just like whimpering in the corner.

And then finally, we get there and we pull out.

And then I, I, she barely makes it to the hotel room before she gets sick.

But I don't know why I missed that part of the story.

And I just fucking hate myself for doing it.

And I got to go back to not listening because I'd rather not know that I suck than be confronted with my own shittiness.

I'm imagining you and Emily just on the one catania mania thing where uh the little lights and gene wilders just chat a bunch of

trying trying not to vomit

i felt so bad for her and then i felt so bad about me because i that part of the story up anyway anyway that's my retraction yeah that's my retraction great yeah i felt have uh oh you have a retraction too i've got what i have to do i don't have a retraction i have more of uh i made a mistake uh not so much a retraction uh as far as uh you reminding me us talking about the nicknames also reminding me we did the nicknames pick thing and in the nicknames pick i suggested jeff as your nickname uh boss dog uh because boss hog character in dallas i felt very strongly i let it go i let it go proud of myself for that and uh i realized maybe four days ago that it is a dukes of hazards character yeah

boss dog but this name's not boss dog either it's boss hog he is uh he's the i guess like the mayor of hazard yeah i knew it was boss hog but i thought oh boss hog he's in dallas and then i googled boss hog and he just looks like you should be in dallas i mean look at that man that looks like a dallas ass man to me that's the dallas flag right i'm pretty sure it's the dallas flag

you can't be more dallas than boss uh boss hog boss dog

have we ever done a villains draft oh villain's draft is good i'll put it on the uh I'll put it on the sheet.

We've done villain deaths.

I don't know.

We've done villain deaths.

I don't know what draft we need to.

It makes sense for Boss Hog, but we need to put Boss Hogg in a draft because he is entertaining.

Yeah, that's that's really good.

And before we get too far away from it, I just wanted to make a Bloody Steve logo that

I thought fit.

So a big Bloody Steve guy.

They were huge like in 2014, Bloody Steve.

It's them.

I think they were on tour with Bring Me the Horizon and you could go see Bloody Steve.

They didn't have the hits, but good for them.

They were so close to getting the end of Transformer song.

They were second, they were right there.

Only people could have heard it.

Oh, Christ.

That looks like Sploody Steve.

Yeah.

Sploody Steve.

Yeah, well, I mean, that's a pretty light, like, metal font.

You get crazier.

Like, metal fonts are so nuts.

They go way crazier than that.

One of my favorite things to do is when I'm hanging out with Bern Dogg and we're in public is making him decipher those for me and show me where the letters are.

Dude, he's

good at it.

He's good.

Yeah, he knows all of it.

He knows every fucking black metal, death metal, war metal, war core, dick core, kill Smithcore band on Earth.

He can read it all.

What's that band that's like 28,000 letters and it's a big acronym for something?

You know what I'm talking about?

It's like a really disturbing string of words, but shortened into just letters.

I don't even remember what it is.

I have no clue.

How I met your mother.

My little retraction is when I was talking about the CT scan, the Venogram thing,

it sounded like when I listened to it back that they injected the contrast directly into my brain.

That's not the case.

They did.

It was injected just into my arm.

That's so much less cool and freaky.

I don't know how you inject something directly.

Would they have stabbed me in the temple?

I don't know.

How would that have worked?

I was imagining every movie I've seen where they do brain stuff where there's a big tarp covering the front and they're in the back and and they're going in no the contrast was in my arm and then they look at the veins in my brain

but it's done through the

arm did people really think they stuck like a needle in your brain i did apparently andrew

it seemed to be 50-50 i just wanted to clarify that i didn't have a needle through my head that's so much less cool oh man i don't like that retraction That's almost lame.

If somebody sticks a needle in any of our heads, that's going to be an hour and a half conversation alone just on the process.

like that's an insanity if you thought that why wouldn't you why wouldn't you have more questions about that bit doctor stuff i don't know it's above my pay grade oh my god but you know it's like you're you're sharing like a medical thing as well so it's like i don't want to necessarily ask additional questions i feel like you should lead in that so it's like it's yeah you i you said it i interpreted it i really enjoyed it And now I got to know it was just through your arm.

That's cool.

That's unfortunate.

Well, yeah, I didn't think it was cool.

Uh, I well, I just thought it you going through that was cool.

If you're gonna have to go through something where they're like checking your brain or whatever, the idea that you're in like face-off and they got the needle in the pot, that that is sort of what I was imagining.

It's like the face scene and face-off when they swap faces.

You thought I was going through some like severance procedure.

Yes,

exactly.

It's funny you mentioned getting a CT scan because I just had one about it 90 minutes ago.

Oh, damn.

Yeah, that's Brain, jaw, face,

teeth.

Yeah.

I have an impossible to solve or find

problem in my head that they just, they cannot diagnose.

But it's not teeth related.

It is 100% not.

I don't need a root canal.

That's been ruled out.

But yeah, I just got phantom pain.

I might have to get Botox in my masseter muscle now.

Ooh.

Oh,

classic masseter.

Yeah.

I think what would fix your pain, and I'm like 70% joking.

I think one of you guys, Eric, Gavin, Nick, at some point, should just hit Jeff over the head with a steel chair.

And I think that might help.

Maybe, maybe instead of that, I like where you're going with that.

The pain is on the left side of my jaw, like above my back molar.

What if they hit the right side of my head really, like in roughly the same place?

You think it would even it out?

I think it could even it out.

It has to be by surprise.

You can't know it's coming.

It's got to be like a beanhole situation where like, you look down to open the bean hole and then bah, steel chair, side of the head, you instantly feel better.

That's for

the bean hole.

Yeah, this is this is good because Gavin will walk up to you with the steel chair and you're like, oh, I see you.

And then I tap you on the shoulder, you turn around, boom, I hit you with the steel chair.

And then me and Gavin raise our steel chairs in the air as new champion.

How about then when I'm on the ground and incapacitated, you inject contrast directly into my brain.

Now, this is a plan I like.

We're off the chairs.

You can eat the beanhole beans,

and Nick is just going to film all of it and have some beanhole beans.

Just enjoying life.

I want to have beanhole beans, but good ones.

You know, I want to go to that bean hole days this year if we can.

Do you think they're going to be good beans?

Yeah, I think so.

Yeah, I think

fuck you.

Come on with the the nay saying of course they're going to be good beans this is the epicenter of beanhole beaning these are the people that do it the best i just i remember anthony bourdain saying that like places that are known for specific food are never the best at it that so that's just exactly what it walks in my head forever exactly what i was thinking andrew it just doesn't feel like it's going to be the thing but that's just me but not play i understand what you're saying places are known for a certain food but what if it's the only place that's known for that food it's not like there's a competing beanhole areas.

This is it.

This is like, this is the bean hole hole.

This is the hole where all the beans come from.

There are no other, it's not, it's not like somebody in Wisconsin has bean has a bean hole and they're like, no, ours is the best.

And somebody else is like, no, ours is the best, like Sloppy Joe's or something.

This is the only one place that claims beans.

I don't know why my brain went here, but why?

What if...

What if beanhole beans are like the Peter Molyneux of food?

What if they're just none of them are good?

What if none of it is good?

Populous was good populous was good no i fable's good i love fable my point is though is that peter molineu always talks about how amazing these experiences are going to be and they'll at best be good but they're never what he says like what if we're chasing this very specific thing that just isn't ever what we think it is maybe we have to come to terms with bean hole beans are just okay what are the best beans like outside of the hole

baked beans

do these beans come outside of the hole

If you could make a can of Heinz baked beans in a hole, they would be great beans.

Yeah.

I think they would be just as good as they were in a different environment, like just standard bean making.

No, because they're slow roasting with like a ham hot.

See, this is the Peter Molyneux coming out.

24, 48 hours.

They're being prepared in such a way to make them more tender and flavorful.

It's, it's a, the process is, is what makes it good.

This is not, and by the way, you're also, you're allowed to be disappointed by Peter Molyneux because he made such fucking hits that you fell in love with him, right?

Peter Molyneux not some

like snake oil salesman going from town to town.

He's a guy who built some of the greatest video game experiences you've had.

He let you down with everything post-Fable because Fable was so fucking great.

No.

I don't think that.

I really like Fable, but I think Peter Molyneux's whole career is sort of that.

populous was a perfect game fable one and two were perfect games fable three was better than everybody said and then he fell off a cliff but those games but that's why but that's why it hurts that he fell off that cliff because those other games were fucking great man but even fable was there were things that he's like you're gonna be able to do this and then it's just it's nowhere close it's not even reflective of the experience as good as fable is So you're describing every video game developer, describing every video game of all time.

It's a different, you're making a weird argument for Peter Molyneux.

That is, this is his thing.

He states he is very ambitious in his selling of what this thing is, and

it's never quite that.

As good as those experiences are.

I love Faber.

Although, the Sean Murray guy, was that his name?

No Man Sky guy.

He did that, but then he's kind of

delivered on it.

He worked to get it.

Decade.

It was crazy.

Yeah, he never stopped.

I'm not going to unfairly fault Peter Molyneux for over-hyping shit when Cliffy Bees of the world exist.

It's not like Peter Molyneux is the only dude in our space that's doing this.

Everyone does this.

I think it's a different level of Peter Mollenwood.

Can you eat beans in Fable?

Because I looked up No Man's Sky has beans.

So I'm just.

Does it really?

Should we go through video games and find the best video game beans?

That might be good.

Let us know in the comments.

If you're listening to this, let us know what games we should be looking at, which beans are the best in each game.

That'll help us.

I realize I'm arguing for Peter Molyneux.

I don't really want to defend that dude.

I really don't give a shit about Peter Molyneux, but I do care about beans and like he's become a bean proxy.

I think that the beans at the Pequot Lakes bean hole days are going to be better beans than anything you've ever put in your entire fucking body ever throughout the course of your life.

And I'm willing to bet real money on it.

Well, what's funny is that Peter Molyneux has a bean connection where his first business was shipping baked beans to the Middle East was his first business endeavor.

And he got into video games.

Yes, well i've talked i think i've talked about this on the show at least i've told you this before um

but he he was shipping he was trying to ship baked beans it's like oh they don't have this they're gonna love it wasn't going well but his company was happening to be named the same as a electronics manufacturer and atari mistook him for the electronics manufacturer and then he just lied that he was them and that's how he got his entry into video games is his company became like the distributor in Europe for Atari products?

Yeah, apparently, Lion gets you pretty far in this world somehow.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's a wild character.

I love Peter Molyneux, but ridiculous.

He's going to have an AI Connect Boy make beanhole beans for you, and it's going to be delicious.

I found an article that says Peter Molyneux regrets, he says he regrets overpromising on his games.

What I should have said in every interview is: everything I say, take with a pinch of salt, which is a great actual recipe for beans.

Yep, pinch of salt.

Everything is bean related.

Speaking of like

weird logos to interpret and kind of the game space, I just learned that a claim is two C's, and that fucked me up.

Oh, that's not a K?

I thought it was K's.

No, it's two C's.

What are you talking about?

Are you serious?

Yeah.

I think the K, there is a K there.

If you look at the right side of the A and the next C, it looks like a K.

So maybe you just like

visualize it.

Yeah, dude, I agree.

If you just like look at stuff wrong, it's wrong.

I agree.

Yeah.

If you make the A a different letter, sure, you could make a K out of it.

You guys all were aware of the K C situation that it's C's?

Yes.

Yeah.

I've never looked at it and thought these were K's.

I've always looked at it and

C's.

Have you ever read an online article with the word acclaim in it?

No, I don't think so.

I think I've only seen it.

You've never gone to joystick or fucking Kotaku or any website at any point in this time?

I have, but I don't feel like acclaim is like,

I don't think they're, they're really around all that much anymore.

Like the whole thing.

What do you think about?

Yeah, that's why I learned about the double C's.

Yeah.

You went acclaim.

Who's that?

I'm only, I'm only familiar with acclaim.

They were a baked bean and put

I Yeah, I'm always slightly scared when I side with Andrew, but yeah, I definitely assumed there was a K involved somewhere there.

It's not important, I guess.

You just read that and you're like, oh, yeah.

Yeah, you know, you can move on with your life.

Never really get into it.

Yeah, that was my big reveal.

Mike and Alyssa are always trying to outdo each other.

When Alyssa got a small water bottle, Mike showed up with a four-litre jug.

When Mike started gardening, Alyssa started beekeeping.

Oh, come on.

They called a truce for their holiday and used Expedia Trip Planner to collaborate on all the details of their trip.

Once there, Mike still did more laps around the pool.

Whatever.

You were made to outdo your holidays.

We were made to help organize the competition.

Expedia, made to travel.

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I have a question, actually, for all of you, speaking of maybe weird things.

When you get a form and it says sign your full name, do you include your middle name?

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Always?

Yeah.

Yes, it's your full name.

I just realized that I have not been doing doing that because uh for reasons that don't necessarily make sense like they're that don't hold weight you don't know how to follow directions no it's what does full mean to you well okay so full means every part of it but

here's the thing whenever you make a profile on any website it always says optional in the middle name box and i have just extrapolated that to every form in my life.

What's audio possible?

That's a good question.

I don't know.

Off the look.

I think my full name,

I think I was young enough where somebody else handled that for me on the last passport I had.

They only last 10 years.

How old are you 10 years ago?

I don't think my passport is active at the moment.

I think I need a new one.

Your passport's not active?

I think it may have expired like a year ago.

We have such different lives.

I'd be freaking out if my passport expired.

I mean, I haven't checked.

I don't know.

Andrew's passport was expired during all those trips to Vegas he was supposed to go to.

Oh, my God.

I think if my passport expires, I have to leave.

Yeah, I think it's so shit.

We're going to be in a real different situation.

I agree.

I just,

I filled it out in the most recent form I did.

I was signing something and I put my full name as my full name.

And then I thought, I often don't do this.

Like, I maybe sometimes will.

And then I realized the reason why I don't is because whenever I make a profile, it always says optional in the middle name box, which then made me feel like, ah, people don't like middle names.

Who cares?

It's like a fake name.

Doesn't even count.

Do you think anyone's middle name is optional?

I view middle names as optional.

Non-essential.

I mean, the name optional.

I got it.

Yeah, somebody.

Somebody for sure.

Somebody for sure.

Absolutely.

They're bullshit.

They're fake names.

A lot of them.

They're like, hey, wanted to name...

He doesn't understand your joke.

I don't think.

No, he's saying optional as a name.

The name is optional.

Yeah, you got it.

Yeah.

Literal name.

I got it.

My point was that people will name their middle name Transformers.

Like, it doesn't matter.

People have crazy middle names.

Andrew Transformers.

Transformers Panton.

Can that be on your next passport?

Can that be the title of this episode?

I'd have to legally change my name.

Jeff, how hard is that?

Well, I did it a while ago now, about 20 years ago at this point, but it's not too hard.

Takes a morning.

Costs you about 270 bucks.

Although, with information, who knows?

I won't change my name for five bucks on Xbox.

I'm not paying that.

What if your middle name was Transformers in brackets 2007?

Andrew Transformers 2007.

I have no problem with that.

It's not a terrible movie.

It's not my favorite.

It's the best one.

Why don't you change your name to Gavin Optional Free?

Oh,

do you give a shit about David?

No.

There you go.

That's my point

anyway i just wanted to see if i was dealing i realized that maybe i shouldn't be applying the same logic to the process of making a fantasy football account that i do all legal documents so i'm i'm a middle name guy now going forward we'll always include the middle name good to know

Andrew Transformers Panton.

Are you going to include the full middle name or just the middle initial?

Oh, can I do that?

Does that allow me to do that?

Some giving him options here.

Some forms only ask for middle initial.

Some forms only ask for middle initial, though.

Oh, man.

Not official forms.

Yeah.

What?

Where?

Why not?

Okay.

Why not?

Okay.

Well, now I...

I figure I get a middle initial all the time on forms.

I will say I haven't run into trouble with this yet.

So

I can feel good about that.

This is going to be a problem.

I feel like it would have occurred by now.

But it hasn't.

When do you get you get a new passport uh

i should do that you're not gonna be able to eat any beans if you don't that's true but i yeah i don't know beans

god damn man i don't know god

damn man i have a i have a cpap story oh yes uh the other day i learned What happens when you have a power cut?

Oh, no.

I never even considered that.

yeah uh

i might be investing in a ups here pretty soon for the old petron

because the uh the the the the cpap goes in my nose holes and uh the air travels like either side of my head up to the hose on the top of my head it looks really good i look really good while i'm wearing it um

but when

But when the thing turns off, there's no airflow, and I just started inhaling the remaining air of

the hose and all the stuff around my head.

And it squeezed my head.

You got a head squeeze?

I started constricting my own head with my lungs.

Oh, man.

And then I was

in the middle of a dream.

The dream didn't end particularly well.

And then I woke up like,

did you dream you were being strangled by an anaconda?

I definitely was dreaming that I couldn't breathe.

It was all over pretty quickly.

But yeah, very unpleasant experience.

I don't recommend it oh my god that's crazy i didn't even consider that that like obviously that could happen but the effects of that yeah is there a is it how you have the hose like if you position it differently would it have had less of an impact i don't think so because you're immediately sucking all the air out of you're just creating a vacuum i guess yeah just the head squeeze part But I guess it's the rig probably as well.

It's just because the bits on the side are very soft.

Okay.

And the hose is more more firm, but the bits around my face are like you lie on it and stuff.

And I assume there's one on each side because if I lie on one side, I crush the pipe and the other side can still be used.

Aside from the power outage,

how's the CPAP going?

Have you dialed it in better?

Oh, yeah, it was so much better than before.

Getting all the way through the night.

I'm not waking up full of air.

It happens maybe once a month now.

Wow, really?

So no more like just like intense fart pains?

No.

No, it's been great.

I'd love to know what the once-a-month cause has been for you.

Like what happens?

Why do you experience that?

Is it something you eat?

Is it a way you sleep?

It must be the way I sleep.

A certain angle.

You got a gassy angle?

Laying in bed and you're like, I can't fall asleep in this position.

I'm going to be all gassy.

I mean, that must be the case.

There surely are some angles that are gassier than others.

Oh, for sure.

Do you want to see a pic of me on the CPAP?

Yeah,

I have it.

I have one of you.

Yeah, look how good this looks.

Oh, that's a different one.

Oh, my gosh.

You look like you're going in for a very serious surgery.

You kind of, I think there's a way you can make it look like you're going to do an underwater mission in GTA.

Kind of looks like the rebreather, but for your limit.

Yeah.

I've got the wetsuit that I grew.

Yep.

You're working on it.

That's great.

Oh, dear.

Oh, man.

So just a full face squeeze.

That makes it so much funnier seeing it.

That feels like a bad place to have the hose at the top, the back.

I feel like I would prefer it being in the front.

You can have them in the front.

I just sometimes sleep on my front.

Do you move around

when you sleep?

You sleep on your front?

Wow.

Sometimes.

Like face down?

Yeah.

And I don't need a...

I don't need like any air now because it comes straight into my nose.

That's a life hack!

I could tape like three pillows to the front of my face and still breathe.

Oh,

I'm gonna write that down.

Pillow Mountain has a new expansion,

new wing, dude.

If somebody tried to strangle you with pillows, you would totally live.

Just imagining someone on top of me pushing a pillow into my face, and I'm just like shrugging with my hands.

It only makes me stronger.

You're just pushing the air in.

You're getting a better sleep.

Have any of you done sleep studies?

Any of the rest of you?

No.

No.

I think you should all do it.

No.

I think you should all get the apnea test.

No.

I've done sleep studies, but it was in college just to make money.

It wasn't like personal sleep studies to make me better.

What were they looking at?

Whatever they needed, I said I had.

And then

they would just hook me up to a bunch of monitors.

So it was really anything.

It was anything.

That was it.

Wait, so you would just say, Yeah, I have this, and then they would be like, Okay, let's monitor you to see.

Yeah, it's not something that's not something I'm exactly proud of, but oh, okay.

Okay, I mean, it would really in college when it was like, I don't have any money

that will do this for money.

Hey, we need someone who wakes up a lot in the middle of the night.

Yeah, that's me.

Hey, we need someone who stays asleep and like sleeps through alarms.

Yeah, that's me.

Got it.

No problem.

Whatever it takes to get the two free meals and like the $81 at the end of the night.

And you didn't care about just skewing all that data.

I did listen.

Listen.

I don't.

I don't.

Again, not something I'm proud of.

It just something, it was something that happened.

It would be so interesting to know what percent of the data is that.

What if it's all that?

What if every person on the test?

Honestly, it's probably a lot more than most people think.

It is not hard to get into a lot of those stuff.

They need to have a third box of I'm just here for the two free ones and I'm here for the the paycheck yeah

those places will contact you for a long time afterward too yeah they were big in austin in the 90s and the early 2000s they did a lot of like uh uh

getting your molar pulled uh studies too where kids could go get it for free or get paid like a couple hundred bucks to have your motor molars pulled and then uh

or not molar what is it uh what's the other one wisdom wisdom teeth yeah sorry okay i just i'm sorry i just had like i just had uh like nine i just had like an hour of cat scans on my molars today so i have molars on the brain.

Yeah, your wisdom teeth.

And then they would give you like medicines, and sometimes they'd be a placebo to determine like, you know, how well the pain meds worked.

If they just took the molars, could you just use the wisdoms more easily?

No.

Oh, no.

Well,

you know what?

Nick probably knows because his dad is a dentist, so I'm not going to argue this point.

Fair play.

Because I feel like the thing with wisdom teeth is they can go the wrong way.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Eric, did you ever...

Did you,

you did the sleep test one?

Did you ever do jizzes and stuff?

No, not

that one.

So the way it would go was

the sleep ones, the sleep ones paid the most.

The ones that would take your blood would be like not as much as the sleep ones, but they were good.

And then a lot of them were just like

placebo effect.

Like I would assume placebo effect, whatever.

It's, it's just, you know, it's, I never did ones where I had to come into a cup.

I did have to piss into a cup.

From my understanding, you need like a really high level of cum to get paid for it.

I would be shocked if any of us

figure out what exactly you mean by that.

You need like a good volume, like you need to find it.

I think it's a mix of like what your hereditary data is as far as like different types of things, as well as like sperm count and efficiency.

Like the effects of the

line on a cup saying jiz up to here.

No,

no, I'm not talking literal volume.

i'm talking like i think there's a bunch of i think they like test you first to determine if your cum is worth paying for essentially

i could be wrong about all of this but that's my understanding wait they test the they test your blood or they test your cum i don't know because it'd be weird to test blood and they'd be like okay give us the cum when they could have just tested the cum yeah but it also feels weird to like you give them cum and they don't need it ultimately

it's strange either way i feel like but i could i once again i've never tried this but i feel like that's what i've heard that has been my rough understanding is that it's actually not easy to sell cum well you must have looked into it though if you know this much about it could you potentially ask your mom she knows a lot about medical stuff i not in this field she's on the she was on the other side she goes once the baby was born that's when she came into play she was not got a baby gotcha

I just I feel like I've heard people talk about this and that's my

I've never never personally looked into it.

I know there's a scene in the Way of the Gun where they explain the pricing of all stuff.

That was a good movie Way of the Gun.

It's a great action scene at the end.

What, top five cum movies?

Probably.

There's a scene in that movie that I think about all the time for a shootout.

Where like a character dives over a thing to like take cover and there's just a whole bunch of broken beer bottles in the thing and he just gets shredded by it.

Not fun.

Very graphic.

That's a pretty graphic movie.

If I remember, I haven't seen it since it came out, but I remember it being pretty.

It's very candy.

Yeah.

Yeah, that

he dives over and his arm just gets filled with glass, and he has to like slowly pull it out.

And it's not fun.

Oh, yeah.

There's a guy that gets shot in the dick in that movie.

It's good.

Maybe Wayne the Gun is a better movie than I remember.

Speaking of sleep, I found my, I found my eye mask again that I hadn't, I misplaced it and I lost it for about a year, rediscovered it, and I don't think I can use it.

I think I got to like slowly transition into using it.

I've somehow, I've developed like bird brain, I've learned since getting it back.

I will put it on and instantly fall asleep.

because it's so dark.

And I think it's partially because the blinds where I live don't really work.

So it's always like in the day, it's always somewhat bright.

Even at night, it's kind of bright.

Um,

so I put it on and then it's pitch black to an extent I'm not used to.

And I instantly fall asleep.

And then I'll wake up at some point and feel kind of panicked because of how dark it is.

And I'm having to adjust.

But I feel like a bird where like they cover the cage and it tricks it immediately, thinking it's night.

Like that's, that is where my brain is at with this thing.

I put the mask on.

I'm like, oh, this is nice.

It's dark.

Then I fall asleep.

Then I wake up going,

where am I?

Type thing.

Have I told you my weird thing with eye masks?

I brought it up and you related to it.

I don't know if it's the same point.

I saw on the show.

I have an issue with them because I can't tell if my eyes are closed or not.

And you said, yeah.

And that made me feel seen in a way that we both, I think, felt a moment of like,

this guy gets me.

I have a thing that really annoys Meg where I have to put my eye mask on when the lights are off.

Otherwise, it just feels like the lights are still on.

Really?

Yeah.

So if Meg is like still up and about doing something, I'll make her turn off the lights so I can put the eye mask on and my brain kind of saves the dark room as an image.

And then she can turn the lights back on again.

And even though I can't see the light, it feels like they're off.

That's great.

So, Andrew, if you if you were in a pitch black room, how would you know if your eyes were open or closed?

I think I could feel them.

i would be able to feel it it's the thing with the eye mask is your face is something kind of crunched yeah

okay pushes it on it is a weighted eye mask specifically so like there's a weight to it um

yeah so i think that that would be the difference is that good like you want that you want the weight sometimes you just want to feel like you're getting squished

That's what Gavin's doing with his CPAP machine.

He's just kind of sucking

it or whatever.

Yeah, but he is stale air.

If Gavin was getting fresh air while squeezing his face, I think that would be a fine experience.

Yeah, well, yeah, it was more like the breathing, but not getting any air and your lungs kind of do that.

Like

sometimes Pillow Mountain falls, or it has in the past, and

it's not the worst feeling in the world, just being toppled by pillows.

It's like the softest avalanche ever.

I have a new problem of

I got

a king-size duvet.

That's the name, right?

It's a fancy word for sheep.

I mean, fancy sheep.

It's got like a fluffy insert.

Yeah.

So I got that, and I have a cover.

And my partner and I use different, we have separate sheets that like, they cross, but like, we each have a sheet because we're both like hogs, essentially, in the night for sheep.

Night hogs.

Night, night, night hogs.

Like the mattress sheet or like the top sheet or the tove.

The top, the duvet.

We both have, we have two duvets on the bed.

They have their duvet.

I have my duvet.

Why did you start by saying I got a duvet but then we both share different sheets like you mean the same thing i don't know what i'm saying to be honest but we have two duvets we have two duvets and my the one i just got myself is a king one that i got on sale and then it has a it has a cover on it uh but i split half the bed so i have way too much the bed to sheet ratio is a lot i'm really struggling with balancing the sheet it just it's turned into a weighted blanket because it's too much sheet for just my side.

It ends up stacking on itself.

Why'd you buy a king size for half a bed?

Well, because it is a king-size bed, but I'm only using half of it because it's my sheet.

Yeah.

You didn't foresee that?

I'm like, man, this will be a shitload of sheet.

Well, here's the my previous one was a queen, and that was totally fine.

And I have upgraded to a king because it was on sale.

And it has been a problem of too many sheet.

Just, it's everywhere, and I have to end up stacking it on them.

If I'm getting out of bed and they're in bed, because there's no space, because I'm a side, I'm a like edge sleeper, I like being on that corner.

Uh,

and it has been an adjustment.

It's the whole sleep thing has been a whole thing.

What does edge sleeper mean?

I sleep on the edge on right on the edge of the bed, yeah,

yeah.

I

do not go into the center.

You got all these pillows.

They're slowly falling down the back of the bed, which is like pushing the bed out.

But you're

just on the edge with a king-sized tomb.

You're like sleeping on the fringes.

Like you did.

You don't use the middle of the mattress.

You just use like the very top and the very side.

So it was nice

before when I was in the bed just by myself, uh the pillows would fall or they may i could grab a pillow i could adjust i would be more in the central there but i have a constant fear of like i am taking up too much space or i'm being an annoyance so i am an edge sleeper to give as much room as possible and i don't mind it andrew i agree with you i do the exact same thing i don't think it's weird at all i'm an edge sleeper as well I think it's, it becomes weird where there's so many pillows.

It's become a problem where the pillow to actual bed space is an issue because they don't want seven pillows.

So I either I have to like reassign the pillows.

I have a space between my bedside table and the bed that I just shove pillows into as a pull spot now.

So there's pillows down the back and down the side?

Well, there's always pillows down the side and they are to fill.

As more pillows go down the back, I pull from the side pillows.

All right, what about this?

What about this, right?

Get one pillow that's the perfect height, and then that's it.

Well, we went over this.

I just, uh, I need, uh,

I guess I could talk about that.

I, uh, I have that bed frame that has a backstop or whatever.

Headboard?

Headboard.

Yeah, that's what it was.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Backstop.

Yeah, the bed backstop.

Yeah.

Backstop.

So, so your pillows are down the side.

Are they touching the floor?

Yeah.

No, it's clean.

It's clean floor.

That's just pointless.

What do you mean?

There's just no reason for it.

There's not enough space in the the bed.

If I kept them in the bed, I'd have to create a pillow line between me and my partner.

And that just feels weird.

Like that, that feels like we're going through something when we're not.

So you're storing the pillows under the bed to keep them out of the way.

Yes.

But I'm going to use them.

They come into play.

Yeah, he needs to be able to pull from like the quick.

It's like a quick bag of pillows.

Yeah.

So that's that's the solution for that.

But the the backboard bed situation, I called a moving company about it and they were not they were very confused by my situation what i required no um no way

and i've now encountered a problem where i just don't know so i can hire there are people that get rid of stuff and there are people that move stuff but there aren't in my area for what i can tell people that both move get rid of stuff and move stuff for you um

so i'm at a i'm at a crossroad like i don't know what to do because i can hire someone to i need to get rid of

so this is the i don't know if i've described this fully but i have a bed on the top level that i need to get rid of no that's wrong i need to get rid of the bed on the middle level

i have a bed on the middle level that i need to get rid of and then i want to move the bed on the upper level to the middle level as like a guest room type thing um

but

uh They're they're heavy and like I also have the the bed frame thing I'd like to have brought up up because that's heavy.

To the top of the middle?

To the top.

So that's going to the top.

So I need someone to get rid of the middle thing and then move the top to the middle once the middle is clear.

And I just haven't been able to find anyone that is willing to do that at a rate that is

reasonable or that makes sense.

Does TaskRabbit exist?

Dude, I'm on the website right now looking at what it would be.

I heard about that.

I don't think it is available where i live okay i think i live in too small okay so i'll google task rabbit canada equivalent because it's so i called a movie company and i was like i need this i need to move this bed i need to get rid of a bed and i need to have this pulled up and they're like well wait you need this and we went back and forth for a while and then they told me it would be a 500 minimum because you have to book them for three hours Well, yeah, I assume they book out the van as well.

Yeah, totally.

Like, it makes sense, but I just, it's not.

But then I have somebody else that I've used for like chair removal.

I got rid of all the chairs outside of the Herman Miller.

And, uh,

but they don't move furniture.

Huh?

Task Rabbit Vancouver, Canada.

Okay.

Well, I did see that as a dot-com and went, that probably is just an American thing.

Choose a task by price.

I bet you could get a task rabbit guy or you could probably just call a regular handyman.

Handymans move things?

I bet you could lay out your situation and then he could either say yes or no.

Ooh.

Plants removal.

Don't do it right now.

I'm just looking at what you said.

I wonder if there are any

Vancouver Island-based listeners.

I don't want to have a listener coming in.

Dude, Andrew, I was about to say the same thing.

That's the craziest fucking thing you've ever said, Gavin.

Hey, anyone like this podcast want to come over to my house?

Are you out of your fucking mind?

It's a little much.

Like maybe a coffee shop or like we could start somewhere

in like a meeting phase.

I feel like straight to the home.

Like I feel like even people you meet at work and then become friends with, I feel like it's rare.

It's immediately a home visit.

I feel like there's sort of a build to it.

I've had listeners in my home.

So have I, you.

Hey,

I've never been to Gavin's house.

Be very careful, Andrew.

They turn into Gavin sometimes.

I had a guy deliver a Christmas tree once, and he was like, oh shit, can I take a picture?

I was like, yeah, can we just do it against like a blank wall or something?

Yeah.

You should have a blank wall just for that scenario.

A little tripod in front of it.

There's nothing better than somebody delivering a pizza and going like, oh, hey, Jeff.

So this is where you live, huh?

I'm going to remember that.

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Do you guys use fake names for delivery apps?

No.

No.

I use a fake name on almost everything ever.

Really?

Yeah, I got like 20 names.

What middle name?

I don't have any fake middle names.

See?

Just start writing optional.

Optional.

It's got to be confusing to be you.

No wonder you were never able to figure out how to get loose and teeth merch.

Do you have certain fake names for certain levels of importance?

Oh, interesting.

Like, do you have like, oh, this is complete nonsense?

Here's the fake name for this.

And this is, oh, you know what?

I actually kind of would like to read this.

this name is the i would kind of like the read name yeah the more ridiculous the name the less important it is if it's like a completely unbelievable name it's probably not anything important interesting hmm

i don't want to like

i don't want you to have to reveal all of your identities bruce wayne but yeah it would be fun to play a game in which we have a list of your fake names and have to guess what level of priority each name is are any of them named after your famous characters like Stuart?

No, no.

Okay.

Okay.

Too official.

Are you going to bring up the game that you want to play with me, Gavin?

We're talking about.

Can I post the screenshots from the insane thing you sent me last night?

Yeah, of course.

All right, copy.

Okay, so Andrew texts me.

I've had charcuterie on the brain quite a bit recently.

Andrew simply texts me this out of nowhere.

He wrote, I spell it right across my three attempts, and then it's a picture of him.

Oh my god, writing it, which I immediately wrote, I feel like I'm having a stroke.

Why is it written downwards?

It looks like the notebooks in the Kevin Space you wrote in in seven.

So then,

so then he sent me a screenshot of what it looks like.

He's basically dodging the buttons on whatever.

Yeah, so the buttons are on the top right, so I couldn't go across.

I had to go down and around the buttons.

I said, Wild, are you right-handed?

He said, Yes, I am.

I said, I feel like, and don't take offense to this, I feel like I could write it better with a pen in my anus.

So, I'm going to pitch the game to you guys, Andrew or Anis?

Oh!

Where we both write a word.

That's pretty much it.

You have to guess.

Why don't any of your letters connect?

I'm like looking at like your H's.

Those are insane.

I'm looking at your R's.

Those are insane.

Your.

is it you?

I just, I'm looking at how

so what happens is

I'm a right hand.

I'm a right-hander.

So to do this, I have to hold the phone in my left hand.

And I also have, I've always just had a little bit of shaky hands.

So it's, it's kind of the screen is shaking probably a little bit.

And I'm trying to, like, I should really be holding it.

My left hand is kind of useless, I guess is what I'm saying.

So it's an unstable surface.

And I'm also trying to make because I went in knowing I wanted three attempts.

So I was trying to balance that.

And I also had to try to factor in it curving.

So he's there dodging the buttons.

And then he sends me.

And then he sends me this one where he's dodging the mind table.

Like, just to open a new document.

Why do you?

Oh, my God.

Why are you constantly dodging the previous thing you used in the app?

Why do you do it?

I, you know.

Did I spell it right now?

That was the thing is I was

thinking about it a lot, and I didn't, I couldn't think of a way to use without spell, auto-spell, or whatever.

Put two T's in.

It's almost as if it's a real piece of paper and you just don't want to waste it.

Yeah, I'm just reusing the same digital image over and over again.

I don't think you've spelled it right because I don't think that's two T's.

C-H-A-R-C-U-T-T-E-R.

Are any of those right?

The only misspelled because you probably can't read what I've written.

Yeah, yeah.

Also, people, there are just people that listen.

C-H-A-R-C-U-T-T-E-R-I-E.

Wrong.

C-H-A-R-C-U-T-E-R-I-E.

Right.

That's it.

C-H-A-R-C-U-T-E-R-Y.

Also wrong.

You already had it right, so you know that.

Yeah.

Chuck you, Terry.

I've been thinking about it a lot.

I feel like it's a word I very rarely see, but hear often.

I just wanted to try also.

That's pretty legible, right?

that's not bad was that your anus no unfortunately it was a finger on uh like instagram so uh next time i'll try it with anus are you right-handed or left-handed i am right-handed hmm yeah does that make does that does that help or hinder

i'm not sure you send me that black space you're using and i can it is a photo of my desk oh Black space?

Is that what you're talking about?

Like

live background?

I just took a picture very close of my desk.

Now everything he draws and writes is going to be on your desk.

He didn't send it, so I just had to take one of my laptop.

Okay.

It's going to be him writing on your desk with your original writing scribbled out next to it.

Yeah.

I just wanted to see if it would fit up and down, if my lettering made sense.

I think the only thing

else is cool.

I don't know.

I'm going to actually try.

Okay.

I need to find a way to hold a pen without actually putting it in my ass.

I have a way to do that.

Oh, in your hand?

And

second.

I'm spelling.

And

I'm throwing it out there.

E-R-I-E.

There you go.

I'm excited about this.

Couldn't save image.

Why not?

Here we go.

Okay.

My idea, Gavin.

Yeah.

Not a pen, but

you plunge your butt and then you dip the wooden part

in ink.

Plunge my butt.

Oh, oh, like I suction my ass.

You suction your ass with the plunger and then you dip the wooden part.

This Homer Simpson ass way of like...

You're going to try this.

It's going to seem all fine until you try to pull the plunger off and you prolapse your own asshole.

That's not my problem.

I was just trying to think of how Gavin could accomplish this without shoving something in his ass.

It's the best.

Maybe I'll get in the lab and

I'll craft some writable underwear.

Okay, I have a...

I've been avoiding asking a very obvious question, Andrew, and I feel like maybe I should just ask it.

Why don't you turn the phone sideways?

Can you do that?

Oh my god.

I'm about to fucking lose it.

Wait a second.

Is that how you did it, eric

no his portrait i'm just no what it's up and down i did it like you did to prove that somebody could do it and not make it look like a monkey made it

just so just turn it a sideways so you'd write like a well normal like a human yeah

oh it doesn't make this is actually worse i'm not used to this at all how's it different you just got more travel Oh no, now I'm running up against the colors at the bottom.

Surely you could just tap those away on something.

You can't.

Why are you writing at the bottom, though?

Oh, you mean like the right?

I'll show you.

I screenshotted it and then we can move on.

See, I ran into the colors at the bottom.

How did you write so much bigger?

Also, why'd you get it?

And you didn't start at the top.

Yeah.

Yes.

You started like an inch below the top.

Well,

yeah, yeah, I did.

I stirred where the light began, and I guess that was my problem.

Anyway,

I think people would struggle.

What?

We all have skills.

This one isn't one of mine.

Okay.

Did you learn handwriting at school?

Yeah, I'm great at that.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I can only do cursive.

Then why haven't you been doing it it in cursive?

Can you write charcuterie in cursive for us real fast?

I don't know how to...

I mean, this is, I feel like, I don't know how to do cursive?

No, I'm great at doing cursive.

I've never done it with just a finger before.

Oh,

I've only ever, I only know how to do it in cursive.

Can you write in cursive?

Oh, shit.

They called my bluff.

But the perfect plan falling apart.

I'll

next time I'll do it.

I'll reveal.

I feel like.

Next time?

What?

Is this too visual?

I'm worried about it being too visual.

We're a podcast.

I don't care at all.

Do it.

Okay, okay.

I'll do it.

Okay.

I'll do it.

Shelby's going to post all these pictures.

And so people will be able to see on our Instagram or wherever.

They'll also be in the video.

But I need people to see.

Like,

this has to be seen.

It must be seen.

I don't want to wait.

I can't.

continue on and living my life without seeing Andrew write in cursive.

I agree.

Are you cursifing on the soy phone or what is it?

Yeah, I'm cursive.

Oh man, soy phone.

Slippery fucking phone.

Headphone falls off my end table three times a night.

I did dip it in lube before I mailed it.

What?

Are you holding the phone just up in the air?

Would it be more stable if you did it on the desk?

Probably.

Because I'm not running tricutery for 70 more times.

This is my last trickery.

Don't say that yet.

We're not sure.

Let's see how you do.

That was just a quick run-through.

That's better.

Where's the C?

Heck?

C.

It looks like it says Everstein.

Yeah, it does look like it says Everstein.

It does look like it says Everstein.

This is my favorite rock punk group.

Everstein.

Well, I think it's the new Peter Mullen new game.

I believe it's the new Steve's Blood or whatever.

That was.

Steve's Blood and Everstein are going on.

Bloody Steve.

Bloody Steve.

This is Everstein.

Summer 2026.

You guys get sleep amnesia?

What sleep?

That's like you don't remember your dreams?

No, it's like

I have like a small window of time where I don't remember anything if I get woken up out of it.

Probably like five minutes on either side.

Wait, wait, wait.

So you just don't know like who or where you are for five minutes?

No, no, no, no.

Like somebody, if I'm in a deep sleep,

yeah that was my life every day every day he wakes up and he's terrified not again not again

you just like sat in a corner with your arms around your knees

every day i'm just looking around like where the am i it's 50 first dates it's five terrifying minutes

and i have a thing where like if i'm in a deep sleep and somebody wakes me up they can have a conversation with me if i go back to sleep that's gone i've erased that that that doesn't exist okay so you're like partially asleep still probably probably yeah but i've always been like this i just did i'll clear that thing i have developed a new habit which i don't know how this has happened but it's caused great issue it started well it didn't start but it impacted the first night of mario party uh march

Where I am bringing my phone into the bed to use it and not remembering I'm doing that and then falling asleep and it's just somewhere in the bed, which with my blanket situation has become a real problem trying to rediscover the phone.

I keep going to reach for my phone to check something on the end table at my bed, bedside table.

Not an end table, is it an end table?

Doesn't matter.

Anyway, it's not there.

You're the head of the table, so whatever you want it to be.

Yeah, head of the night stand.

It's not there.

And I need to, how do I train myself out of this?

Is something I've been meaning to ask you guys.

Do you have any approaches or techniques?

I keep grabbing this phone.

Well, I don't, I don't, I can't.

Maybe I need to like tape the phone down.

Take Echinacea.

Why don't you leave it plugged in and then you'll know where it is because it's just follow the wire.

Yeah.

That's actually a really good point.

Oh, that is good.

That's what I do.

That's smart.

The problem is my wire is like 20 feet long.

It's a really long wire.

That's great.

It's perfect.

Even better.

It is.

Yeah.

I'm not going to pull it out.

I

have a request.

Okay.

We do a little segment called a five-minute interview with Andrew, and it starts the first second you wake up.

I like this and we have to see if you remember it afterwards.

I like this.

Yeah, that's great.

How will he know to get on if for five minutes he just does it?

We have to list his partner.

Yeah.

Oh, interesting.

And maybe we'll start at like 4.30 a.m.

You just get shoved awake.

The mic's already recording and your headphones are already on and we just go.

This could be interesting.

I think it would have to

you'd have to it would have to be through them.

I can't know about it it can't be a thing that i'm waiting for because then i'll be like just kind of alert for it yeah you'll be freaking out just waiting for 4 30 if you do it in like three months from now where i've forgotten about this premise i think

i'm gonna write it down i because i i'm like apparently i'm getting into conversations i'm putting it on the idea bank right now it's probably like talking to you at your purest most base level deep deep subconscious well sometimes it could be terrifying because i uh

what did I do?

I did something that I apologized for.

And they said, oh, I thought you were going to apologize for when you hit my phone.

I was like, what?

I hit your phone?

And I guess I slapped the phone out of their hands.

Whoa.

Whoa.

And not in like, I did like, I swung my, I wasn't aiming at the phone.

I wasn't aiming at anything.

My arm just swung.

Oh.

I swing in my sleep, I guess, sometimes.

Like, like I jolt.

Not so much swing, but like I jolt and I knocked the phone out out and then I commented about it.

Like I apologized at the time,

but I just had no memory of it.

How do you swing on the edge?

Dangerous.

Yeah.

Well, it could be a problem where sometimes like maybe I'll

like fall asleep holding their arm and then as I'll jolt and or my hand will, I guess, progressively go higher up the hand to the point where I'm pushing the phone out.

I'm a menace, I guess.

I don't know.

Just sleep in general, just all around, it's bad for me.

Sounds like nightmare.

Absolute nightmare.

Sleeping gets more difficult, I think, as you get older.

Yeah.

Really?

Really?

Yes.

Does it get easier for you?

Yeah.

It really has gotten easier as I've gotten older.

I don't have issues.

I mean, you got to get up to pee more, but sleep is easy.

I go to sleep easier.

I wake up happier, better.

I sleep through the night better.

Yeah, I don't have.

Now, for you, Jeff, do you think sleep has gotten easier or everything around it has gotten harder?

Because you're just feeling derplers everywhere.

You're on the floor.

Like, I just feel like everything around

has gotten a lot more difficult.

Honestly, my sleep got like instantly better the day I got sober, and then it just has continued to improve since then.

Oh, that's great.

So I think it's probably, you know, I'm pretty sure like drunken sleep is almost worthless.

It's like

not regenerative.

But yeah, like I used to have bad insomnia and stuff and I don't anymore.

I just go to sleep immediately.

I never have, I can't remember the last time I like laid awake not able to fall asleep.

That hasn't happened to me in years.

We'll try the CPAP set up, so I'll give an update.

Maybe these things will change.

Maybe things will shift.

I'm so fascinated to see how you get on with it.

Yeah, so am I.

It's the worst.

My advice is stick with it.

I got, I hated it so much that I just didn't use it for like a year, but I should have.

Yeah, I don't think I'll have that problem.

God, can you imagine how much better you could have been last year if you'd used it?

I used to think about if I lived in a different continent, that I would be unstoppable.

What?

What?

What?

Because

you say shit out of nowhere that is like so mind-blowing to me.

It's related to what he's saying, where there was a time in my life where I would be at peak energy from like 3 a.m.

through like 10 a.m.

And it was useless because everyone else is sleeping where I'm at.

Like, there's no, I'm not utilizing that well.

But if I lived in a different part of the world, I'm just, I'm just, I'm being held back by where I'm living.

Well, people do have different like genetic circadian rhythms, I think.

Really?

Yeah.

I just think

I had a bad sleep schedule.

I don't think I could blame the circadias for that.

I can kind of see what you're saying.

Do you think it's like cicadas?

Do you think it's like an animal?

Whatever.

My life goes on.

Just not as well as it would if you were in Australia.

Exactly.

I always felt like I was held back by being born in Alabama.

Well, that's, I agree.

I mean, I think we all agree with you on that there, buddy.

Yeah.

That always seemed like unnecessarily unfair.

How old are you when you looked around for the first time time and just went,

who me?

Yeah.

Oh, pretty young, man.

Pretty fucking young.

I shit my shit my pants in the mud and I went, this is it, huh?

I went and lived in Florida for a little while where like everybody was into skating and surfing and shit.

And it was like that culture.

Very like bones brigade early 80s.

And then I had to move back to Alabama in like fifth or sixth grade.

And that's when I knew.

That's when I went, oh my God, I've moved back in time.

I live in a different time now.

And this time hates me.

That was pretty much the rest of my childhood.

God, I laughed my ass off this episode.

This is definitely a good one.

It was pretty fucking funny.

This is like old face.

Yeah, this is just getting charcuterie so many different fucking times.

God, dude, there's like five images of it.

It's so funny.

It's so insane.

Speaking of old face, before we end, I want to let you guys know,

I've been playing trucks and it works.

What?

Let's go back!

Yeah, I think it might be time to go back to trucks.

Burn Dog and Antonio and I started playing Trucks again, and it's been working.

Wow, let's do it.

We got a new Trucks game coming out, too.

That looks good.

Yeah, was it like a change, or like, what happened?

I mean, the game's constantly updated, and there's, I've checked the

subreddit, and nobody's complaining about getting dropped anymore.

I can't find any like threads where people are like actively bitching about it, and it just seems to be working.

So, uh, just throwing that out there, we could maybe play trucks again.

We should get back into trucks.

That's crazy because I played COD with you guys the other night with all the truck boys and all four of us got dropped.

And I'm sure it's

all crashed from COD.

It's true.

It's true.

Oh, man.

Did I tell you guys last week about how I've started to fall asleep in video games again?

Dude,

we were talking about it off mic.

I was fucking playing Warzone with Bernie and Antonio the other night.

And we were looting a house.

And then the next thing I knew, I woke up and I was halfway across the map from them, just running through a, down the side of a mountain, had no idea how I got there.

They didn't even notice because they were arguing with each other about something.

And I just like, I fucking, I felt like it was 2010 and you were carrying me across the finish line again and crackdown again.

Did you, maybe while you were looking at the house, did you look at the bed in there?

I just closed your eyes.

Maybe I did.

I just want to play so bad, but we can, we play so late at night.

It sucks.

Yeah, don't play so late because because of Mario Party March, every night is a school night.

I know, it sucks.

Even Saturday and Sunday.

I know, there's no escape.

There is zero escape.

But I get so excited 30 minutes before, though.

Like, once it's like, oh, the turn is coming up, this is going to be big.

I got big things planned for this turn.

I'm having so much fun with Mario Party March.

Yeah, so we're in.

At the time of this recording, we just did part seven, day seven?

Day seven.

Yeah, we recorded day seven.

It's really heated up.

And to those who haven't been watching it, it's posted every day on our Patreon for free.

I went back and I can confirm that I just don't read.

Just don't read in that game.

Christ.

Yeah, that game.

Yeah.

We, we should probably wrap this up or I'm going to start launching into new prompts.

And then that's going to fiss Eric off.

Yeah, no, we need to wrap this up.

Yeah, because I, yeah, because I want to save it.

Save it.

Scrap it.

Save it for next week.

All right.

Thanks for listening to another episode of the Regulation Podcast.

This was episode 44.

Jesus Christ, we hope you liked it.

We sure did.

Laughed our little dicks off.

They're on the ground somewhere.

Everybody's, as soon as we stop recording, we stop down, as we call it in the industry.

Everybody's going to get on their hands and knees and start searching for their little dicks again because they always roll under something and then they get caught up in dust bunnies and stuff.

Then you got to go take and wash your little dick off before you put it back on.

That's a whole thing.

Anyway, we'll see you next week.