CUMBCAR // Mystery Blood [42]

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Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Regulation Podcast. This is episode 42.

I am your host. My name is Baby Pepsi.
And with me, as always, Gassigoo, the Mechanic, Lil Ricky B, and Gizmo.

It's the first time I get to officially use our new nicknames. And I was so scared I was going to fuck it up this morning that I watched the

I watched the nickname draft again the last 10 minutes just to make sure I had them all right And then I practiced, and then I still almost fucked it up on my name

out the gate.

But you did great. Yeah, God.
You did fantastic. On the outside, I might have done well.
On the inside, it was a dumpster fire. It was great.
And came across great.

Can we say before we really get going into this episode? I'm alarmed that Gavin is here. I'm very worried.

I don't trust him being clean right now.

He texted you or someone. I don't know if it was a slack.

He slacked it. Once again, he he declared an emergency poo one minute before

we were supposed to start and then he showed up like 40 seconds later which

I don't understand I didn't start the emergency poo at 1059 I was just letting you know I was still dealing with one yeah but the fact that you showed up so soon the fact that you felt the need to alert us

That that was occurring yet still showed up. Well, let's be fair.

I know how long it takes me to wipe, and I was budgeting accordingly. How long does it take? How long does it take you to wipe?

Probably do it for a minute. That's a lot of wiping, dude.
You know,

raw asshole.

We also know, though, however, that Gavin has a system worked out where he doesn't have to wash his hands after he goes to the bathroom because they never touch anything other than his phone, apparently.

So I guess that cuts down on time. That's for a specific bog and only for piss.
And I still, and the whole point is I still wash my hands anyway. I'm just saying saying I don't have to

why bother why bother because just I wash my hands a bunch every day can I can I ask a can I ask a personal question you can you feel free not to answer this when you

uh do a podcast poo like this are you using your knuckle method or is this no need for the knuckles wondering that as well no there's no need oh I'm not well you you do both you don't you don't do one just one you do both yeah you do both when you poo both knuckles i don't think i've ever taken a shit and not peed in my life yeah yeah oh no i'm saying if if there's poo involved i don't knuckle

don't trust it

yeah you also said something you said something i thought was interesting a few seconds ago you on the why bother front you said uh

yeah i i don't have to wash my hands but i do anyway i wash my hands tons of uh a bunch of times a day why bother why bother going through the process of telling us you could get through using the bathroom without washing your hands if you're also going to wash your hands yeah the discussion was with meg i was like look surely i don't have to do this but i i i didn't ever just not ever wash my hands what what did who the conversation was with have to do with anything

is meg in the room with us right now yeah that was a that was a weird clarification well like sometimes right sometimes uh jeff will say something about a conversation with Emily or Eric will mention

my wife into this small wife i'm just saying that was

the person who I had the conversation with about, holy shit, don't even have to wash my hands. I'm just enjoying.
I said one thing and we're all going at you for different things.

I'm just trying to add on to it. And I'm really enjoying it.
Someone who's typically on the back foot. I would say the audience was pretty on board with the old, the knuckling.

I was on board with the knuckle. Not that they do it with a knuckle.
Yeah. It's just the way you said it.
Wait, what was wrong with the way I said it?

You said it.

I think everyone, I don't want to say everyone. Obviously, that's not true.
But I feel the majority of people I saw vocalized they agreed with you, but that you described it in a poor way.

Well, what's new there? The only reason a knuckle came into it is because I was trying to invent a bidet attachment that just had a little knuckle on it that came out. It could have been anything.

It could have been a ball. It could have been a fingertip.

You know, we were saying that we could invent a tool. Emily was saying you should call it a moose knuckle, but I was just thinking you could call it a goose knuckle.

Wait, why are you bringing Emily into this?

Yeah,

because I wanted to. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, because

I don't know, I wanted to give her credit for the idea that I then modified. He was explaining

the context of it, where your reference to that you had a conversation with Meg was said in a defensive tone as if that somehow clarified something, where it was just really an additional piece of info that was yours.

If this keeps the fight going, I'm on Gavin's side.

So, has anyone tried it in between? No.

No.

I mean, I kind of have my own pull and tug and shake myself. Okay, let's hear it.
So, you go, you pretty much deal with the penis? Yeah, I mostly just deal with the penis. I don't really,

I don't really fuck with the gooch that much. I mostly just like pull and tug and yank and shake and go, God damn it, dude.

Stop. Just stop dripping.
Be done. For fuck's sake, be done.

Nick has his own method as well. Okay.
Oh, yeah. It's like Jeff's.
It's like, come on, let's go. I got shit to do.
Get the drips out.

How long are we dripping for typically?

You add like four seconds every year of age.

Yeah.

At this point, I drip way longer than I pee.

Not that bad yet.

I think people got the wrong end of the stick because I was talking about going from the back with the bidet. I don't ever touch any of that from behind, right?

I don't even have to touch my skin i can do it through my boxes at a urinal i can just get a finger you know up by the balls through the boxes give it a little and then my i'm done my issue is never with uh the journey as much as it was the location and you can't really change that

You could tell me you're going north, you're going east. It doesn't really matter.
It's where we're landing is.

Yeah, it was less about the approach and more about the destination.

but i mean we could change it up if you want you can tell me we're going we're going a different direction we're going to go up the right leg we're going to hook around the thigh we're going to go up over the belly button

i what about if it was just the toilet seat that shocked you that gave you a little electric shock how do you feel about that what

what does it do it shocks you i i felt that that part was very clear why

so you get the pee out

Oh, this sucks. You think you electrocute the piss out? Yeah, I think you could.
I think you could surprise yourself and go, oh, and you know, your body tenses up and then you get all the drips out.

It's easier than changing underwear. I'll do it.

So if I sit on a couple of shot collars and see if it helps get the dregs out.

Give it a good test for you.

If you put an anti-bark collar on your ass and farted, would you shock yourself? Would that be enough to trigger it? What detects that bark?

I don't know.

Is it sound? Is it vibration? I have no clue what causes those things to shock, but I never thought of if you could activate one via a fart. But that's very funny to me.

What if we collared Jeff's testicles with a shot collar?

That's not necessary. That's not necessary.
We don't need to do that. What we need to do is we need to do it.
And I'll do it if you do it, okay? I'll do it if you do it.

I go in, I stand at the urinal, and I pee. And as soon as I wrap up and I begin the dripping, shaking, pulling, pleading, begging process, you electrocute me with a stun gun in the back.

And then we'll see if that

happens. And then I'll do it to you.
And then we'll,

that way we both get stunned. We'll go into the urinal.
So it's, we're both miserable. We do, and then we have two people sample size to determine the success of it.

There's no way I don't just bang my cock into the ceramic. We'll see.
I I don't know. We don't.
It would be a low voltage. We'll do it on a low one.

I think just the fear that you could be zapped would be enough.

I think having someone stand behind you with a stun gun and you know it's possible that they might shoot you with it would get you record drip time. Maybe that's what we need.

Maybe we need to do it religion style and just rule by fear. Oh, yeah.
Just every bathroom has a stun gun that zooms out as soon as you start pulling up your underwear.

It fucking just nestles in right next to your butt.

I think the thing I'm most suspicious of is that Eric is of an age very similar to the amount of podcasts we've done and is still doing all of his squeezing internally, apparently. Yep.

How do you do that? You just sort of, you know, keep it healthy. You keep it healthy.
I feel like a squeezer would agree with my shock method, Eric. How do you feel? I don't, I don't know.

Why you, you're insane. Put an electric toilet seat and then zap your ass to get.
But it doesn't happen every time.

I think it only happens sometimes. I don't want it to happen anytime, Andrew.
It does not need to happen ever. I don't think.

Yeah, you do like a little bit of squeezing. Sometimes you just got to

kind of stand there for an extra little bit and give it a like a little bit of time, but you just sort of internal squeezing. Do you do internal squeezing throughout the day? What do you mean?

I'm asking Gavin

like the Keggles. Yeah.

Not really. Am I supposed to? I mean, I think it's like working a muscle a little bit, isn't it? You don't work out your Kegel muscles? I don't really think to.
Hmm.

How's that working out for you? Yeah, maybe I should. So what's your routine? How many reps? The answer is not well.
He's fingering his asshole.

I'm not sitting down doing reps, but sometimes you just got to, you know, if you're just kind of like sitting, you sit and squeeze. But Gavin, I'm going to be honest with you.

The whole time we're talking right now,

brother, I'm squeezing.

I did it for a second, but I got tired. That's exhausting.
Just put a shock seat. I got to be honest.
I didn't think we'd be this far into this episode still talking about Gavin's bathroom.

I figured we'd be talking nicknames way more than we have, and we just went right into finger and butts or whatever. I got one last thing on toilets, and then I'm going to move on.
Do we

think there's a way

that

you know how fingerprints are identifiable? Is there anything on our ass that makes us uniquely identifiable? I don't know.

I guess that'd be scanning. I don't know how I'd feel about that.

I was just thinking about if you have a shock toilet seat, you might not necessarily want everybody in your household to be part of it.

So, if there's a way, like you could sit on it and it like registers your cheeks, yeah, like a butt thumbprint.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the anus is pretty unique because there was that service, wasn't there, that turned your anus into little chocolates. I don't want it to scan my anus, though.

That's too personal. I don't like

that'd be a really funny thing to see fingerprints and anal print on a sheet for a criminal,

sir, sir. We swept the whole place.
Are you getting fingerprints? No, and you're not gonna like what I have to say next. His anus was all over the place.

He was beheaded, so we couldn't get dental records, but thank god they left the anus intact.

I just like the idea of them dusting down a doorknob and being like, This isn't fingers.

Oh, man. Hey, we have there's two things I'd like to talk about today, if you guys don't mind.
One, I would like to talk about a recent,

I don't know, a heartbreak or setback that the company has had, maybe that we could discuss.

And then the second thing I'd like to talk about at some point today, just don't let me forget, I am in a deja vu nightmare that I cannot seem to break out of this week. I love it.

And it's making, it's making nighttime miserable for me.

Do I know about the company heartbreak?

I think you do. Yeah.
Yeah, we can cover that real fast. But, you know, we've been talking a lot about getting an office and that being something that we're working towards.
We have,

we don't like to announce announcements, if at all possible. We don't like to talk, you know, get too far ahead of our skis on this stuff, but we had been making a lot of progress in the background.

So much progress, in fact, that we found an office. We toured it three times,

went ahead and put in an application, got approved for the application. I paid the deposit.
And while I was waiting for the lease to sign, the landlord decided not to rent to us.

And we lost the place. And we don't really know why.
It's kind of a bummer. It's more than a bummer.
It really sucks because it was about three to four weeks of, it was basically all of January.

behind the scenes we were running around looking at properties and i eric and i specifically were dealing with a real uh

like landlords and real estate agents, and a tenant. And I had to put in a lot of time in with this tenant to get in his good graces.
It was a whole thing.

And just like the rug got pulled out from under us at the 11th and a half hour. And I just, and we tested a lot of the walks to coffee shops and stuff.
We did. We were all over the neighborhood.

We had started to plan where stuff was going to go. It was the really frustrating thing was it was a perfect space for us.

Like it was, it checked off literally every single need we had and was affordable. And it just sucks because now we're back to,

you know, we're back to zero and we have to start all over again.

And so that's a little peer behind the curtain of stuff that we, you know, that was going on in January that we weren't really talking about publicly because we wanted to get the office first before we brought it up and because we were so excited about it, you know,

and then we fucking lost it. Do you think the

owner listened to regulation 41 and just decided genuinely no. I don't think it had anything to do with that.
We also lost it before 41 came out. So it would have been 40 that did us in.

What I think happened is I think the landlord decided they wanted to sell the place. And I wanted, they wanted to give us a short lease, and I pushed back on that.

And I wanted at least a year lease, and that's where we lost it, which is ludicrous to ask for anything less than a year lease.

So I think it probably means they were just trying to have a stopgap solution until they were ready to put the place on the market and sell it.

Yeah, I was so excited initially when you said that we got rejected because I thought it would be for content reasons. And that's very funny.
I was

at the final hour being like, well, maybe I should look into this a little bit and seeing you with a jackhammer in your backyard making a beanhole. And then being like, we can't, no, no.

Luckily, the hot dogs on the

fan hadn't come out yet.

Nick said it was probably cum related. It might have been.
Who knows? But

we definitely lost our office and we don't have one. And now we're,

if you know of an office in Austin,

let Eric know.

We'll get another one.

Please don't let Eric know. Thank you.

I did, I did the benefit for you of looking at some research of some office buildings. Thanks, man.
Yeah, appreciate it. Really appreciate it.
Thank you so much.

Keep it to yourself. Appreciate you.
Anyway,

I bring it up more just to tell you guys a little bit of behind the scenes,

a little like a little squeeze of sausage out of the tube, but also just to show you that it's been a really successful, wild, wonderful launch, and things have gone incredibly well on on almost every front.

And this is just an example of one that didn't work out for us. That's very true.

Throw that out there. What would be the name of our office? Cumb House.
Oh, God.

We're in the Cumb era. No, I don't know.
I really don't know.

That happened outside of main regulation canon, but that was.

If you're interested in the origins of Cumb with a B, that was from our Mario Party Girl Tynes Day stream.

$8,000.

$8,000. And that's

$8,000. But you have to spell come with a silent B at the end.
And

I've done a lot of these, you know, a million dollars, but, which are always

quite involved. It's a big life change.

I like the idea of little dreggy amounts that would make a huge difference to like a year, but over the span of your lifetime, you wouldn't even be able to notice.

I'm really curious to know what you consider like canon content.

Regulation podcast just that it's just the podcast well some people don't don't even

play stuff absolutely yeah it's just that was like a big gerpler like i feel like that was a big event stream for us that that feels like if it was if it was yeah like if any supplemental content would be considered canon i feel like that would be the one because it was a direct response to something that happened on the podcast.

I was just curious if you had specific like because I've never considered like what is or isn't mainline canon for this podcast. I think that's an interesting thought.

Well, I mean, it leaks into the canon because I actually have a request of Jack.

Um, oh, we got some canon leakage. Yeah, can I uh can I make a request for the license plate of my car?

Yeah, you can make a request.

You want come car?

Yeah, uh,

let's see if it's available.

Yeah, we'll see if it's available. And uh, yeah,

C-U-M-B?

C-A-R-A-R.

Maybe if we spell it C-U-M-B space B-C-A-R, they'll fall for it.

Cumby car.

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So you're in deja vu, Jeff? Oh my God.

All right. This story is a little raw.
I haven't like, I haven't

thought exactly how to tell it yet. So I apologize if it's a little meandering, but

Sunday night, I go to bed,

go to sleep, probably at one or two in the morning because I've been playing Warzone with the truck boys every night. And at like maybe 3, 3.30, I get up to take a piss, as most men my age do.

And I go into my bathroom and take a piss. Pitch black, of course, right? But

you know how to move around your room at night.

And I take a piss like normal. And as I'm coming back to my bed, I'm standing next to my nightstand about to get in.
My mouth is dry because I have this stupid, uh, what do you call it?

Like mouth guard I have to use every night now. And uh, and I, and I, as I'm getting into bed, I see next to my nightstand, there's a, uh, a white monster energy drink sitting there.

I think that I had put there literally at like 8:30 in the morning when I was getting ready and forgot about it. And it just sat there all day.

And I thought, oh, I'll just grab some of that to wet my mouth down

and then go back to bed. Right.
And so I went to grab it and I, and I, I pick it up and I drink it with just a little swig. And then I put it back on the nightstand.

But somehow I put it on the nightstand wrong and it falls over and it spills an entire giant white monster. It's like

going all down the floor. It's hit hardwood floor, a rug.

It's everywhere. And it spills, it hits me in my jammies.
So

covered in white monster

on my sticky, on my pants and my shirt. And Emily and the dog are asleep, snoring loudly next to me, right? And so I'm like, it's dark.
I can't turn the lights on because I don't want Emily.

Emily has to get up and go to work in the morning and Emily works hard days. You know, it's just 12-hour days.
I try to be very respectful of that. And then if the dog wakes up, who knows?

You know, if he gets up, then it's, we're all fucked, right? He's, he's a hard sleep. He's a heavy sleeper, but once he's awake, he's awake.

And so I just like, I'm like, fuck, what do I do? I'm not the kind of person that can leave it till morning. I just, I don't have that in me.
You know, I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep.

So I go into the bathroom and I just grab a towel and I wet it down. And in the dark, I get on my hands and knees and I just scrub the floor as best as I can in the dark.

And then I get another towel and I try to dry it all up and get it as clean as I can, as quietly as I can. And then I realize I have to change my clothes.

So I go into the bathroom and I shut the door so I can take my jammies off and get the sticky stuff off my arms and legs or wherever that, not my legs, but my arms and like wherever it hit me.

And then go put new jammies on and then go to bed. So it's like, I'm like 20 minutes in to getting up to take a piss at this point of trying not to wake them up.

Monday night, the next night, I'm playing

Warzone with the Truck Boys. About two o'clock, I come to bed.
I get into bed, put my head on the pillow, and realize I have to take a piss.

And it's like one of those ones where it's like, could you sleep? I could probably sleep till 6 or 7 a.m.

and be fine, but I'd rather just, I'd rather sleep well, right, and just get it out of the way.

So I get back up, I go into the bathroom, I take my piss, I come back to my desk or to get back into my bed, and next to me, I see a Gerpler full of

Italian lime aid soda that I bought myself from Central Market the other day or Whole Foods the other day as a treat. I was like, I deserve something special, something better than Diet Pepsi.

So I bought this Italian soda that's like lime aid, right? It's the stickiest, sugariest, sweetest thing ever.

I had brought it upstairs with me at like 11 o'clock at night because I knew I was going to be playing with the truck boys all night long and you can get thirsty.

And the last thing you want to do is go all the way back downstairs to your kitchen to get a drink and come back up. But once again, I had set it on the nightstand and forgotten about it.

And it sat there the whole time I played trucks. So I go, oh, I'll just have a sip of this.
And I go to pick it up and I,

and I do, and everything's fine. And I take a sip and I set it back down, but I guess I set it on my glasses, my reading glasses.

And so it falls, but it falls the other way towards the

thing is, it's a Gerpler, god damn it. It's full.
And so also it rolls down, hits the ground. It goes,

it rolls, making this large plastic bounce noise as it goes around.

The sticky juice hits.

Well, first off, what happens is I'm frozen. This is my deja vu nightmare.
I look at it and I think, this has already happened. This is no big deal.
This has already happened.

This happened last night. And so I don't do anything because I'm like not fully there.

And I just watch it kind of before I can, maybe three or four seconds before I realize, oh, no, this is happening again right now. This just happened yesterday.
It's happening again.

How is this happening to me again? I don't understand it, right? So you were having a, you thought you might have been having a flashback at first. Yeah, I know.

I just like, you're out of that where you're not fully there and you just freeze in the moment. Yeah.
Like, this doesn't make sense. Like, I'm not understanding what's going on in the world right now.

Like, I'm, I'm existing in, I'm like unstuck in time, like in fucking, uh,

uh, like in that book. I love the idea of it being like in slow motion, bouncing all around, slushing liquid.
And you're just, you're just like, this can't be right. This can't be right.

Yeah, this isn't.

I'm unstuck like in slaughterhouse. Yeah.

And you're like duh this didn't this i don't have to deal with this right now because this already happened yesterday right and then i realize it and i go oh god

and uh and i look over and the dog and the wife are still asleep and it is so much more liquid and so my first thought is to go down to my knees to see how bad it is so i just drop to my knees into a puddle of liquid so now my new jammies are soaked at the knees just like completely and totally soaked right so i'm like oh you

double moron Like, you're extra stupid. So I get up and I go into the bathroom and I take my fucking jammies off again.

And then I get more towels and then I start to scrubbing and I start to clean it. And this is somehow so much worse than the monster energy drink, this Italian soda.

And it's just like, there's so much more of it. And it's everywhere.
And as I'm going through it in the dark, I realize it gets on. I wrote it all down to make sure I don't forget.

It gets on my lamp, my laptop, my reading glasses, my phone charging station, my watch, my phone itself, the book I'm reading, all just covered in it, right?

I also don't notice till the next day that even though it fell backwards, some of the water went forward as well, obviously. And the bottom drawer was slightly open on my nightstand.

So I had a heating pad that just got covered in

soda somehow.

So that was all sticky and ruined. I didn't find that out until much later.
And so I'm on the ground under

my nightstand and my bed, like laying down to get, because I can't get under the bed well enough, you know, on my knees.

Uh, like literally laying on the ground naked, just rubbing the ground with a wet and a dry towel for maybe 25 minutes this time.

Um, the whole time, doing it in the dark so I don't want to wake up Emily and the dog, put on new jammies, go to bed. The next night, I go, I'm not, I'm not bringing anything with me today.

I'm not doing it, I'm not doing it. It's never gonna happen again, right? No, so I don't, and then everything's fine.
Last night, no, come on, Jeff!

Last night, this is anticlimactic. Last night,

we went to the Bill Simmons podcast live in Austin at the Paramount Theater. And so I didn't get a chance to eat dinner before I went.
We didn't get home until about 11 o'clock.

I swing by McDonald's on the way home, grab

just some McDonald's for us. We eat dinner and then we go upstairs to go to bed.
I have a giant Diet Coke, like a large Diet Coke with the top off because I've been chopping on ice.

And I set it on my nightstand. And then I look at it and I go, nope, nope, nope, nope, not doing that.
So I pick it up and I put it in the kit in the bathroom next to the sink.

And then I go about my business. And then later, like an hour later, or maybe a half hour later, I go back into the bedroom and it's on the nightstand again.

And I realize at some point I picked it up and put it back on the nightstand. And I went, nope, you're not treating yourself that this time, dumbass.

So I make an effort to go and put it back in the bathroom, right? Then I decide not to play trucks with the truck boy or Call of Duty with the truck boys last night and just to go to bed early.

So I go to bed at like, it's like 11.30 by the time we go to bed, you know, and maybe midnight. And

about 2 a.m. I have to pee.
So I get up in the middle of the night and I go to the bathroom and I pee, and I'm coming back to the bathroom and I see the Diet Coke on the counter and I go,

I'm safe. And I go to pick it up to have a victory sip because I'm so smart as not on my nice hand.
And I just punch it. I just punch it as hard as I can.
I don't even know how.

And it just goes straight into the sink. It just goes straight into the fucking sink.
There's no mess, but I pour an entire Diet Coke and all, and there's still some ice in it, not a lot.

Into the sink. and I just lose the entire thing, and I just can't believe it.
And so I go to bed, but I don't know what to do now. I'm scared to go to bed tonight

because it's three out of the last four nights. I've spilled major amounts of liquid in the process of getting up to go to the bathroom.
I'm terrified. I don't know how I've, I'm stuck in this cycle.

I don't know how to get out of it.

I was conscious of it last night when I literally, I'm looking at my hand and I'm like, I'm gonna have this, this Diet Coke is gonna taste so fucking sweet at 2.15 in the morning because I'm not gonna going to be cleaning it up three minutes from now.

And then I still managed to just like fucking like karate chop it. I don't know what's wrong with me.
Were you getting flashbacks to Purple Nightmare while you were cleaning it up?

Didn't think about it at all. I wasn't thinking about anything other than misery.
When you're on the ground at three in the morning, rolling around in dog hair and, you know,

fucking dust bunnies under your bed and you're just trying to clean up sticky liquid. You're not thinking about Purple Nightmare.
I didn't have that much.

I didn't have that many mental faculties going why you just bring water to bed it's still i mean he'd still spill it's easier it doesn't matter

it does matter dude it matters if it gets into the walls if it gets into the door like if it seeps under the floor like it still matters it still gets into the electric equipment you need a sippy cup lid for your gerpler I was actually thinking this is the perfect opportunity to invent something.

Gerpler silences. Like imagine

a Gerpler skid. Yep, yep, yep.
One that is the perfect dimensions to push into the bottom of the Gerpler and then a rubber O-ring around the rim with just like a little mouth-sized cutout.

And that way, if you drop the Gerpler, completely quiet. What you're saying, what you're describing is a Gerplid.

We need to invent a Gerplid. Yeah, but also one for the bottom.
I would love a Gerplid because I have a problem in my desk where I have wires everywhere. just crossing and whatnot.

And I will fill up my Gerpler at the middle of the night and then try to put on my my desk and not be able to see because I'm in the dark, but just know it's wire, wire, wire, and being so scared of dumping that full giant cup of liquid all over all of my tech stuff.

What's in your night Gerpler? What do you mean? Well, it's just water. Okay.
Yeah, and just like I'll fill it up in the bathroom, go to sit down at my desk, and then I won't be able to see very well.

And it's a thing of like, I got to really feel out where this cup is.

I do not trust it. But a GURP lid, that would change.
That is a game changer. So you get water from your bathroom tap? Yeah.

Why don't you just drink out of the tap?

What?

What?

Do you come back and finish a whole Gerbler of water? Yeah, absolutely. How do you not get up in the night to piss? I piss all the time at night.
Oh, you just don't care?

I need to drink. I like drinking.

I like having something to sip on, whether it's water, mainly water. I'm a drinks guy, big drinks guy.

For the record, I'm not opposed to water at night. It just wasn't, no, I wasn't planning on most of those.
It's just what happened to be around me in the moment, you know.

I just don't think, I don't think you should be allowed to have drinks at night anymore, Jeff. Like, I think you might be done.
I think this just might be a dude.

I mean, I, the only night that I had peace was the night that I banned myself from taking a drink upstairs. So, you might be right.
I just

don't want to be of an age where I can't trust myself to pick up and drink of a liquid past a certain time. Yeah.
You might, it's, hey, man, you might be there now. This might be it.

Everything you're describing, this might be a right now thing, dude. I think you need to put yourself in training.
I think you need to work up to this.

You got to relearn how to drink properly in the dark. You are coming at me with some aggression.
It's better than what you're doing now. Yeah, that's exactly.

I'm not, I don't want this for you, but based on what you've described, I think what you need to do is start by drinking in the shower at night. Yeah, I agree.

I think if you minimumly have to go in the shower, if it spills on you, you can just shower off. You'll be fine.
It's already in the bathroom. Yeah, you have to keep all your drinks in the shower.

I think you start with the shower. I just think you need a nice long straw.
Big heavy cup and a long straw that goes to your mouth while you sleep. He's going to miss.
It's not, no way.

I got to be honest here, Gav. I think that I, I think I'm, I think I like their idea more.

Maybe I should only be able to drink in the shower because then there's like an intention behind it I'll I'll it'll like because you're like half asleep right but if I'm if I'm I have enough mental faculties to realize that I need to go into the special drink room I'll be alert enough to probably drink fine in the drink room and if I'm not you're right I can clean it up in that room right there immediately and it's further away from Emily and the dog and even if I spill it it'll be loud as all hell if I drop a cup in that shower on that tile but at least the cleanup will be faster yeah exactly you can let the dog in the shower with you while you drink if that helps you.

No, he needs to be asleep. Okay, just making sure.

So, Andrew, as someone who drinks your bathroom water, do you ever drink the shower?

No, okay.

Sometimes, I mean, water gets in the mouth.

Whatever happens, happens. But I'm not like mouth open.
I gotta refresh in the shower. Why not?

Uh,

that's a

hot soap going on.

Yeah, you got hot water. I'm not a hot water guy.
There are a few layers as to why I wouldn't.

But if water ends up in my mouth and I, I mean, I feel like I, for the most part, spit it out, but I'm sure I've accidentally swallowed some.

But you wouldn't ever just be like, okay, I'm done with the shower. Let me turn this to cold and just have a drink.
No, because this is not really a convenient way to do it.

It's like a shotgun blast your face of water. Like, I don't, it's going to spread.

It would go everywhere. And then I'd have to re-dry myself.
Like, it's just, it's a lot. It's everywhere.
You're already soaking wet, though. Okay.
I'm still wet. And I've just decided to.

You've just had the shower. Okay.
Instead of turning off the shower, you turn off the hot. It's cold now.
Have a little drink.

I think the problem is I don't want any other part of my body to be as cold as the inside of my mouth when drinking. Like your lips and cheeks and stuff.
Yeah, my face.

I'm going to blast myself with cold water. Like, even if I get 80%, that 20% is really not enjoyable.
It's not the most efficient way to do it either. No.
What if you had a shower funnel?

You turn it to cold. You you look up, it's all going in the funnel, and it funnels into your mouth.
That's a good idea.

I mean, what you're describing would work, but you're like creating a device that I didn't ask for. You're never thirsty in the shower? No, okay.
I don't think I've ever been. That's a you know what?

That's deep, Gavin. I don't think I've ever been thirsty in the shower.

I don't think I've ever even considered being thirsty in the shower. I've been thirsty in the tub plenty of times.
Really? That's a nightmare. Well, you got a cold tap right there.

Yeah, but it's all the way on the other side of the... I'd have to.

It's a lot of work.

Do you think if I only drink my nighttime drinks in the shower for spillage reasons, that I will become conditioned to be thirsty in the shower or get thirsty in the sea shower? That's interesting.

I don't know. I don't think you'll do it long enough.
I think you need to trust yourself after

three consecutive successful shower drinks. to then move into the bathroom.
That seems pretty low given my track record, but I appreciate your. But you have a lifetime of not doing it.
So I feel like

if you're comparing

on an average, I guess that's true. I have a bit of a recency bias, though.
You do. It's bad.

What I, the part of this story that I really enjoy that we haven't gone over yet is it from Emily's perspective. Because I'm sure all of this happened.

And then the next day, you were like, you are not going to believe what happened last night. I spilled.
It was a disaster. I had to clean it up.
I was trying to make sure you didn't wake up.

It was a whole thing. To do that multiple nights in a row to Emily,

I would love loved to have seen her face to learn that this happened consecutive times. Here's how that conversation went.

The first time I did it, I said that to her and she said, oh, I heard. And then the second time I did it,

the second time I did it, I didn't mention it to her at all. And she said, same problem again again last night, huh? Oh, that's like, so bad.

And then the third, last night.

Last night with the

punching the soda into the bathroom. I don't think she had any idea.
She was formerly for her. Family rules.
That is so funny.

Hey, more drinking problems. Not dip shit.

Yeah, that's kind of the energy of it.

What if we cut a drink holder into a nightstand? That's not a bad idea. I like how you're talking.
Gavin, you're back on top. I like that idea.
I like the GURP lid. Maybe we really like the GURP lid.

Instead of cutting a hole into my nightstand, maybe it's like a clip-on cup holder.

Yeah, I don't trust that. I don't trust that for you, honestly.
But we can, you know, you keep spitballing. I'm just, I'm worried about just going nicely.
No, I understand. I understand.

Or have you seen one of those really heavy mugs? Yeah, we should get you a near-unmovable mug. Yeah.
And that way, there's no way you can knock it over. You'll probably sort of like a

mug Miolner, if you will. Yeah.
I have found a 22-pound mug. Yeah, let's get him a miyuk nir.

I would consider that. That's an interesting idea, too.
Well, the problem, but here's the issue, though, is he's bringing liquids there, right?

Like, you'd have to fill this thing with the intent of drinking it there. And that hasn't been the case with these spills.
That's true. That's true.

I'll just have to be a little more intentional about how I do this. But I think that so much of what he's doing is knocking over

this thing that if we got him a very mugnier again, uh, that

he's way less likely to knock it over. Totally.
I absolutely agree with that. My point was just that he keeps accidentally leaving liquid in these places.

And if for him to use this, you'd have to intentionally put liquid in that spot. So he'd have to just change his thinking.
I have to show you guys this. Please.

You know who the real loser in this whole thing is that I just feel so bad for and a bad about?

No, it's not me. I mean, I'm always going to be the loser in my story, right?

I'm the lose tagonist of all my

stories. But it's Emily.

I've clearly begun my decline. I'm obviously on the back nine, whether I want to be or not, and she's stuck with it.

You know, like she got like one or two good years with me when we met, and then it's just a fucking steady race downhill. Yep.

So I found heavy mug, the world's heaviest mug. It's $155.
We save $65.

The image that they show is so funny. The first image, okay, cool.
Backlit, neat. It says heavy with an asterisk.
It also kind of a regulation logo. Or not quite.

It's more of a red-hot chili peppers thing, but it's fine. The other one, it's on a motorcycle.
Cool. The third picture, the one that I sent you guys.
It's filled with bullets.

Do you guys put bullets? Is that a U.S. thing?

that's a it's Texas thing you got everybody has a bullet mug I've never thought about it but yeah and also oh my god dude 22 dude Jeff we got to get this heavy heavy mug for you yeah I'm if you guys will if you guys buy me that mug I'll try to use it Jeff's thing is Yosemite Sam era

he's filling it with a hammer it's pretty cool if you knock this one over you break your toes is it bulletproof

is there anything that's like it's bulletproof I don't know there's a little video there where a guy puts it through a glass table because it's so heavy.

And then there's also another one where they're cheersing one with a glass mug and one with the heavy mug. And the heavy mug explodes the glass mug.
What's your nightstand made of, Jeff? Wood?

Okay, I think we're all right. I think we're gonna be.
All right. I think we saw it.
It's a pretty solid nightstand. I think I'm okay.
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Dude, can I tell you guys something concerning? I just looked down at my table and there was a little bit of blood on it. And I don't know where that blood came from.
What? That's mystery blood?

Are you

all right? Like, where's the blood coming from? I don't know. But no, I mean, like, touch yourself and see.
Yeah, I'm looking. No.

I'm looking.

You definitely look. I don't know where I'm leaning.

It would be your leg.

Your leg? Wait, what are you talking? Wait, where is the blood? It's on, it's next to my keyboard. Here, I'm looking at it.
It's not gonna be from his leg.

I thought this was, I thought he was looking at his nightstand.

How long would he be looking at his nightstand in the middle of a punk cup?

He's in the office.

You know what? Yeah, but I record in my bedroom, so I just put everybody in my mind table. We're all in our bedrooms right now.
So really, the mind table is my best bedroom. That is a lot of blood.

Oh, that's a lot of blood. That's a concern.

Okay, Jeff. It's not just a concerning amount of blood.
It's also that it's

smeared around everywhere. Yeah.
Hold on. I'm wiping it off.
Yeah, I don't know where that came from. Is it are your hands bleeding?

I'm looking. I cut my elbow like two weeks ago, but I'm looking at the body.

You also sniffed with a knife in the middle of

it. That's true.
Yeah, that was a long time ago.

It's not my elbow cut. Are you knife juggling right now?

I don't even have a knife in front of me.

Okay, I don't have a knife in front of me. Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know where that came from.

You know, I bet you if you had a big mug of bullets on your desk, that bleeding wouldn't have happened. Whatever happened would be scared to mess with you.
That's true.

Big old mug.

You're a bleeder.

I am a bleeder. Thanks.
Yeah. I am, I over-index on blood.
Yeah.

You're probably the bloodiest friend I have. I'm ready to pop at all times.

Oshua is easier to test blood. What do you mean? Like, he does a lot of crime shows.
Waga, waga, waga.

Oh, come on. That's joke of the day, right there.
Not for God, man. I love that.

I thought that was a good one. Topical, man.
Topical. Thank you.
Thank you.

Oh, she the blood lady? Yeah, she's in prison, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's the blood lady. What do you want to test blood for, Andrew?

I just, when you come across blood, sometimes it's like, I wonder where that came from. I wonder if it's even mine.
Whose blood is this? How often are you finding random blood that could?

Not often, but whenever I do, I go, huh, where did that come from?

And like Jeff saying it's not even like he doesn't seem to know if it's his, it'd just be cool to be able to test it and go, oh, this is my blood.

I mean, it's got to be mine because I'm the only one that sits at this. Yeah, that's what I was

ever in this room.

You would assume so, so but you you would know definitively if you could test it it's true i feel like blood that i've been surprised by i always know is mine i mean it wasn't blood there when i sat down today see

you assume it's yours because that's the rational thing to assume but what what if it's not whose blood could it be i don't know i feel like whenever i found blood i um it's guaranteed mine

it would be weird if you were like had some sort of a blood leaving fetish where you would just like break into homes and then just like bleed a little bit and then leave.

The DNA bandits don't like that. Yeah, I don't like that.
They'd catch you so fast. You say the DNA bandit, but you're leaving your blood behind, which bandits, it's the opposite.

It's the opposite, right? They steal people.

Yeah, I feel like the DNA bandit might take blood from people, but that's a, but then that's a vampire, and he's getting into murky territory here.

Yeah, but the wet bandits used to flood the house they robbed.

What does that have to do with what you're saying? No, no, you're right.

They left behind the wet. Yeah.

And if this continues the argument, I'm on Gavin's side.

Was that really a plot point of that that they would flood the house, the wet bandits? Yeah,

that was like their whole name. That was like their thing, right? The wet bandits.
I just, I don't remember that. Why were they called the wet bandits? No idea.
I just

don't think you remember it. Wet bandits.
No idea. It was a major subplot of the film.
I mainly watched Home Alone when I was like six or five. I don't know.
Didn't stick.

That was not a detail that was important to me, I guess.

Terrified of mobsters, though. When was the last time you saw Home Alone? In its entirety, probably like 20 plus years ago.
Oh, yeah. You got to watch it at Christmas, son.

Dude, I see that movie three times a year, probably still to this day. I would love to watch it with you.
Clips of it a lot. Yeah, it'd be a lot of fun to watch.
Great group watch.

But it's one of those things where I get clips. Every once in a while, I'll go, I want to see some Home Alone and I'll watch some stuff, and that'll kind of fill the need.

I haven't like sat down and done a full watch. Maybe it's this summer.
We could have Christmas in July, and we could sit down and watch Home Alone together. I love that.

It's the hottest day of the year.

We could release the GTA snowman videos we made in December and then do a Home Alone watch-along. Can we hold the GTA snowman videos till July and have Christmas in July this year?

We would love to do a watch-along and do some other Christmas-related videos. I'm like, forcing the whole audience to be Australian.

That's great.

Not bad. It's not bad.
I like it. Eric was not on board and you just got him on game.
You know, I, it was good. Well, because I, we keep getting hit for it, but shit, man, we just put out a video.

We just put out GTA deadline and somebody's like, I think this was recorded in June. And it's like, all right, I mean, we can hold on to Christmas videos until July if that's the case.
So let's.

Well, people complaining about

things being not timely.

We're serving them timely in March.

Things are getting getting crazy.

The most timely videos. We're serving them timely.
In March, we're doing it. Mario Party March.
Mario Party March. Oh, sorry.
I just did. I thought you were talking about right.
I didn't understand.

Sorry. Andrew, I thought that was an excellent segue.
30 days of consecutive Mario Party, and we're releasing it essentially as we film it. Couldn't be more timely.

Could not be more difficult to do.

Yes, it's going to be... It's so.

So we learned, just to explain the idea fully, that you can exit a game of Mario Party, save, and then come back to that.

And I pitched the idea of doing one turn at a time of the longest amount, the most amount of turns you can have in a game, which is 30.

So for 30 consecutive days, we are all going to group up in the morning, play one turn of Mario Party, then save and quit, and have to wait until the next day to continue the game.

And we will be posting these daily as we do it.

One day after. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So this will be on Patreon. So check the Patreon, subscribe.
This is where you'll be able to watch it. And it's, this is,

I still, this is still insane. Like, this is still crazy.
Well, once I put out the full video at the end, yes.

So is it free on Patreon or is it for members only on Patreon?

Yeah, I don't know. We never talked about that.
I think it could be free. The only reason I don't want to put on YouTube is that it might murder the channel with a bunch of people.

It's going to absolutely murder the channel by putting up a 36-hour compilation of content.

Also, we just had so much fun doing

advent calendar, and we wanted to kind of have that have that kind of fun again in some daily way. And so I think this really scratches that itch.

So it'll be free on the Patreon as long as you're a member, which there's a free membership. So just sign up for free.
You can give all of you. Watch all information to Patreon for us.

Every day with us. And if you don't want to do that, at the end of all the days, we'll release the full video of all the days put together on our YouTube gaming channel.
I cannot wait. Damn.

It's going to be hell. There's going to be so much rage.

It's such an interesting game to do like that as well, because there'll be potentially like when the Jamboree buddy comes down on the map and then we play a mini game to see who gets him.

And there'll be such celebration and potentially the next day, someone could just run past you and take him. Yes.

Thinking about the game we just played, I had a plan laid out. I had all the pieces on turn six.

And by turn 12, the game and you guys had fucked me out of my plan so just imagining me being so excited one night being like oh I've got everything lined up and then each day for a consecutive week just a phase of my plan getting destroyed with me not being able to do anything about it oh it's gonna be good it's gonna be a lot of built up it's interesting that we're gonna have to set an alarm every day like even across all the weekends for a whole month.

It's I'm so excited for this. We've been Gavin, you and I specifically have been doing this kind of content together for closing on two decades now, right? Like a very long time together.

And I get so genuinely giddy and jazzed anytime there's an opportunity to do something we've never done before or film something in a way we've never done it before.

And it's really rare that you get those opportunities because, you know, we've reinvented the wheel 16,000 times at this point.

But I did, we've never done anything like this before. And I'm so excited to see how it goes.
And I think it's going to be miserable in all the right ways. And I just can't wait to see it.

It is a terrifying thing to take on from a production standpoint, but it is

one of those things where once we get on the other side of it, I think learning from this process will open up a lot of possible fun avenues for different content ideas going forward.

I mean, like the idea came from Andrew doing the advent calendar, which was really great because he did a really great job. kind of producing that, putting it all together or whatever.

And then we got like, oh my gosh, this was so exciting because we put out something every day. Andrew pre-recorded those with us.
We batch recorded those in like a few days.

We can't do that with this. We have to just get together every day

and do this. I, uh, there's so much like room for error and disaster.
This is like, this is not good. This is not good.
Speaking of error and disaster,

does anybody currently have any plans to go out of town in March? I was. Well, not anymore.
Not anymore. March.
Yeah. Okay.

All right. I didn't either.

Huh. I didn't either.

Are you sure? It's possible. It's possible that might have changed slightly.
You could do it. You just need to bring a switch and bring

what if I'm home. What if I'm home by 11.30 the next morning and we can record just a few hours late at noon?

I'm curious about what you mean by that because I'm pretty sure I'm looking at our calendar. It says 9 a.m.
every day.

I know, but what if I had to push it back for a couple of hours just because I'm a dad and I got to be a dad? Yeah, what if I got to do that every Friday?

Every Friday? It's going to fall apart so quickly. It's not going to fall apart.
We're going to hold it together, but we are going to have to deal with these little roadblocks.

I am the one that has sacrificed the time.

I don't want to hear this from you guys. Yeah, I dressed to wake up even us at 7 a.m.
to make content, which is like, I know, like, in the grand scheme of work, like, that is so fortunate.

Like, I've had actual, really tough jobs. Like, I know, incredibly blessed, blessed, but like, I am not a morning person.
So, like, having to try to be on at 7 a.m.

each day is going to be a little bit of a process. You're a morning person if it's, if it's, like, 4 a.m., though.
Like, you're that kind of morning person. You do most of your work.

You do most of your emailing and slacking at like 5.15.

No, I'm an evening person or I'm a per, like I've sent you guys all something today, except Jeff, because

you're not going to be available for it.

And I did that because I had a terrible sleep and I woke up, sent that, and then went back to bed. Is it because you had to piss a gallon of water? No, it wasn't.

Is it because you had to clean up a gallon of water that somehow found its way to the ground? Yeah, yeah, it was. That's that

you got a crystal ball. I have a question about your pillow situation while we talk about you sleeping.
Yep, you so you've got a lot of pillows because

I mean, the way I see it, it's kind of like a

they slip down the back of the bed, right? And then you just need more pillows because they keep

I've actually

been experimenting a little bit and being and being a no-pillow pillow guy. Jesus Christ.
What the? How do you go from eight pillows to no pillows? You're going to snap your neck in half.

So COVID really screwed me up from like my sleep patterns. I need to sleep upright now.
Or at least I was so like I spent so long having to do that. It feels unnatural not to do that now.

So I've been experimenting with just using the wall as my pillow and sleeping that way.

i need to buy a ticket to vancouver island i gotta i gotta watch you sleep that's all right can can we buy you a headboard i'll that would be really nice install it like if you'll let me come up you'll let gavin and i come up yeah you can get pillowed headboards we'll buy a headboard in the naimo and we'll come set it up for you i have so last december i bought a new bed frame that has a headboard that's part of it, but it's too heavy to carry up all the stairs.

so it's still there so i've had this wait how long has it been that uh last december not the the sorry not the previous december we had the december before 2023 2020 yeah

you just need somebody to help you move a headboard for call me dude it's really heavy

dude i have so much time in march to to travel now

how did the bed get up there uh

yeah that you know what? Here's the thing. The bed, like getting the bed up there was kind of like, oh,

that's all we had. That's all we got.

What? And like, that's all you had in you? Yeah. I'm still recovering from getting the bed up.
That was heavy. It's a big bed.
It's like 2023?

Yeah, it's listen. We're still, we're trying to get the confidence together, the morale to get the bed frame.

Get it together.

Get your freaking headboard up there. I'm getting it up.
I have to.

We want to get into the specifics of this.

We have some stuff we need to move around. And I also still have like four broken chairs that are just taking up space from out there.

So we're going to have somebody come in to take those away because those have to go to the dump, which is a different process. Weren't they all on the balcony there?

I think I might have one on the balcony. What was the broken thing on the balcony?

I have two broken chairs in the bedroom right now. One of them is the half chair, which I've turned into like a table of sorts.

And then my Herman Miller is in, I have a walk-in closet and it's in there.

Why'd you keep all this junk feet? This junkie? No, because it's tough to get rid of the chairs.

I actively want to get rid of it. It's just they're heavy, they're bulky, and they have to go to a specific place.

Well, for a start, the Herman Miller, you can almost certainly get swapped at the warranty. That is what I, yeah.

So that has been the one where it's like, I need to keep this because I need to to figure out the warranty. Or I was looking into replacing the seat myself.
I think I could do that.

But the other chairs are like just completely broken. So I need to get rid of those, create a lot more space.
I love the way you have to work up to just regular tasks.

If you'll let Gavin and I or some contingent of regulation come up and spend three days with you, we can revolutionize your life.

We can make things so much easier and simpler for you. First of all, always welcome to come up.
Second of all, I'm in the process of that right now. Very excited.
Okay. Okay.

I look forward to hearing more about that in the coming episodes. Oh, it's going to be soon.
Next few weeks. Where is it downstairs? It's as soon as you walk in the front door.

It's just in the entryway. Are you not sick of looking at it? No.

It's just a box. It's a total box.
Okay. We're definitely in a box there for over a year.
I don't see it often. We can't come in March, and I've got something in the first, it's late April.

It's going to be set up before

March. If that headboard, I'm going to tell you right now, Andrew, as your friends,

as one of your best friends on earth, I tell you this with peace and love.

If that headboard is in your hallway on your first floor by the third week of April, you will not be able to stop me from coming up and installing it for you. It's just not going to happen.

If you don't lie taken care of before then, it will be handled by me. The problem, here's my only concern: is when I bought it, I ordered it off of Amazon.

And I saw some of the reviews said that they were missing parts from it. So I'm a little concerned about that.
That's the only hurdle I have.

I assume there's a hardware store in Canada. You've been concerned about it since 2023.
It's been a thought since 2030. It's going to be hard to return it if it's missing parts at the same time.

When you open it and find out when you could still return it,

then I'd get parts everywhere.

Well, not all of them. I got bit like this one time, Andrew, when we were back in my old house

in my previous life, right? We were redoing the living room for some reason and we bought a sofa and it came shrink-wrapped together.

And we couldn't unshrink-wrap it and put it together because the house was all in a jumble, right? So it ended up just kind of sitting there and became part of a project that took months and months to

finish. And it just kept getting pushed from room to room.
And at some point, we finally unwrapped, like opened up the sofa and it was cracked in half.

and it was too late to return it oh no because we'd passed the window to return it and i just bought a 1800 sofa that was broken i had to throw away so i

open and check for the parts sooner than later i guess would be my yeah and if it was a large investment i definitely would be more on top of it i got it pretty cheap so not as much of a concern is it soft uh is what soft the headboard I have no idea.

I don't even remember what it looks like fully, to be honest. Well, why were you talking about it then? We were talking about getting getting a new, like, a pillowed one.
Yeah.

So you can sleep upright. Yeah, like mindset.
Oh, I guess I brought it up because that was the solution to the problem I had, and I've had it. I just haven't been able to implement it.

How would that be the solution? Because one of my issues is that the bed moves from the wall. And so by having the headboard, the wall comes with me.
Can I make a new prediction for 2025? Of course.

Andrew breaks his headboard. No, that's pretty good.
That's a good prediction.

If you constantly are pushing your bed away from the wall, you're going to snap that headboard off.

I guess it's possible, but let's see.

Now, that's it. That's it.
That's a not to derail us here, but that's an interesting idea. Should we have a mid-season check-in, like in around June or July or August? Sure.

We see how our predictions are going, and then maybe

everybody gets to make one more prediction. Oh, that's

like a mid-year prediction. What if it was like a 10-second-long long thing and I just said, y'all still married? And then we just moved on.

So is it that you can't fall asleep lying down? Or you actually have to sleep upright?

It's just something where like when I had to sleep upright because I got so sick and I couldn't breathe otherwise. Yeah.
And now just nothing else feels natural.

So I just have to sit up. Because I wonder if you could start sleeping, set up, and then we could get a bed that just lowers you down after you've fallen asleep.
That naturally kind of happens.

And then I just kind of slump down. I end up, yeah, sliding down naturally.
How do you try and fall asleep bolt upright, though? I close my eyes. What's relaxing about that enough to like drop off?

I don't know.

It doesn't bother me. I just sit upright.

That's really impressive.

Holy shit. Are you okay?

I just got news. San Antonio Spurs announced Victor Wimbinyama will miss the rest of the season with a blood clot.
Dude, did you? That's what

I was going to sign off with this and say, hey, Nick, check this out. And then send this picture.

Dude. Yep.
Hey, Spurs tickets should be pretty cheap. Blood clots are fucking career enders.
Like, no joke. That ended Chris Bosch's career.
Yep. And

that's not a thing you fuck around with. It's in his shoulder.
God, that sucks.

Yep, that sucks for Nick. What's scary is that really super athletic people get blood clots and there's yeah, yeah, that sucks for Wemby.
Shit. I uh I know we're getting a little bit long.

I have a clip I really want to play. I have something very exciting coming to this.
This is an old clip. We've been talking about history.

I think there are probably people that listen to the show that weren't even around for this era, but you may remember way back in the past, we once had a pencil trial on this show that went very well.

Everybody loved it.

And we had

a whole thing between, it was myself against Jeff and Gavin over whether I needed to eat this pencil or not. And

Eric found a website that

called Hired Judge, which I became a judge on, and people could give rulings. So first, I'm going to play this clip related to that.
And then you'll find out why. Hello, this is Shaheen Davari.

I'm from Hired Judge. I also was an attorney for three years and went to law school.

And so I'd like to start by saying at the very top that it is patently obvious to anybody who both listens to the podcast and understands the scenario that

Andrew should, in fact, have to eat a pencil. First, he made the agreement and made the bet.

And I want to say that up top because there was some type of backtracking that Andrew was trying to that truth isn't truth and it wasn't really him but truth is truth my friend it was clearly your voice and it was recorded and that evidence definitely weighed heavily on the decision here today

second the crackpot legal defense team did not do

their job enough to get paid so i really hope that you did not pay these people saying that you didn't properly define a term in the contract

isn't necessary in oral agreement contracts, and it's not a necessary in contracts. What's necessary in a contract is an understanding between the parties as to what the pencil is.

You both understood what you meant by pencil. No lead.
You don't want any lead. You don't want someone to get poisoned.

Graphite pencils are perfectly harmless to eat in very small amounts, meaning one pencil. And so

buck up and

eat the fucking pencil.

This is in favor, and now, okay, so you're reminding us that you welched on the bet again. You're bringing this all to the forefront again.

I'm so excited for whatever turn this is about. That is an aside, you are crazy.
No, no, no, no, you're gonna understand in a minute. This is crazy.
Shane Dafari, honorable man,

he is competing on Survivor this season. What? A contestant.

Shane Dafari, the guy that was a judge in my pencil ruling, is a cast member on this upcoming season of Survivor that starts next week. What?

Did you just see the cast list and be like, I recognize that name? Somebody on, I don't remember where, and I tried to find them brought up that this was a thing.

And I went, there's no fucking way that that's true. And then I confirmed it.
And I could not find whoever's comment it was. Thank you so much, whoever commented and made this connection.

I went back and I listened and then I looked into this. Same guy.
The pencil judge is on Survivor this season. And I am.
It's a shame he didn't put that as his occupation. Yeah.

Pencil judge.

I haven't watched the last two seasons, Survivor. I couldn't be more into this season of Survivor.
I got to see how I feel like we're Team Shaheen. You've missed out, dude.

This last season of Survivor was one of the best. It was so good.
I don't watch Survivor. I might have to watch Survivor.
I think the show, we got to be locked in on this. I think we got to.

we should do little watch parties and cheer for him and i'll stop watching it as soon as he gets voted off yeah

hell yeah

we'll do all of that but continue watching it i just cannot wait

this is so andrew this is crazy insane wins oh my god i can't imagine imagine if he's like a russell hands like villain i'm like oh there's so many i have no idea we're gonna find out i cannot wait and i wish him the best of luck we have one degree of separation from survivor yeah it's not like he's on some dog show that none of us have heard of he's on survival which you talk about all the time one of my favorite shows growing up and i've only recently sort of fallen off of but i'm i'm back on fully invested let me ask you this and then we can we can start wrapping up here in just a minute He's going to be on this, but he ruled against you, Andrew.

He said that you need to eat the pencil. Do you think that that's going to sort of shade the way that you see him as he makes decisions throughout the season? Such a great question, Eric.

And that was immediately confronted with, do I want him to win or should I be actively cheering against him?

And it ultimately came to,

he was always in the right on the ruling. The ruling was the right call.

It would be insane for me to be against him because he was right. I was being a shit in that scenario.
And I feel like just further being a shit is not the answer. So I'm fully on his team.
Wow.

Cheering for Sheen.

I can't wait. I cannot wait to watch this season now.
We got a regulation contestant. Yep.
Dude, we're Davari heads. I love this.
I

think

if he wins, you got to wait the pencil. Yeah.

I agree. Yeah.

I'm glad that you guys have a consensus. That's awesome.

That's great. I did.
You know, one of us did predict it would happen in 2025 in the Nostradamus draft. So, yeah, I really

suck down some of that plum bum.

I just had to share that. I'm so excited.
And

that's phenomenal. That is unbelievable.
What a crazy coincidence. Also, please do me a favor and watch the last season of Survivor Injury.
I will get there. Yes, I promise.

The one before, I don't care about, but this last one. It's good.
I'll watch it. Oh,

should we

fuck off? You should wrap up because you have to go.

You have to get on a flight or something? I do. I'm leaving here to go to the airport.
He's trying to get all of his travel in before March hits.

The one tiny trip one tiny trip in march that i immediately booked after i agreed not to go on any trips in march you know when you told us about this trip and you were like obviously i've mentioned this months ago but uh it's coming up and i just want to remind everyone that i'm out of town on thursday that was the first time you told us right no i don't think so i think i put it in the in the slack the second it happened here's what we're gonna have to do unfortunately we're gonna have to pay for slack to see if jeff let us know or not huh and either way i win either we pay for slack and i'm wrong and I get a paid for Slack or we pay for Slack and I'm right and I get a paid for Slack.

What are you going to do with a paid for Slack? I don't know. Argue better or scroll back and get better.

You think you let us know?

Help Nick find that file he's looking for? Yeah. Yeah.
So wait, if you have to scroll that far back in Slack,

you let us know like three months ago? I would assume so, yeah. It's been planned for a very long time.
Okay. All right.
We'll have to, we'll, we'll take a look.

We got to get paid for Slack and then we'll do it. Can you host your own Slack server or do you have to pay them? I don't know how it works.
I think you probably have to pay them, I assume.

I don't know. Awesome.

It all exists on their server. They just have locked it away from us.
Yes. Yeah.
I believe that's how it works.

Yep. If you have a better solution, I'd love it, but that's what we're locked in with right now.
We'll find out next time, potentially. Did you pay for the Slack? Did we not? Mm-hmm.

Tune in next week. Do we have Nitro? I do.
Yeah.

Why do I have it?

yeah where's mine i pay for it personally yeah i don't care if you have nitro i don't give a shit could i have nitro no yeah me you have a fucking company credit card i use it yeah i'm gonna use it without talking to you guys i'm gonna just stop buying that makes that makes that makes worse i think it's the premise of how do you have nitro i paid for it i just pay for it you can pay for it

like i know i know dumbass i'm saying did you're the one asked did eric give it to you and i was gonna kick off about it well i know that now don't i i don't have a company card. I wasn't.
Wait, what?

I wasn't saying

physically, how do you have it? Like, what, what was

if anybody legitimately wants a company card, I can get one issued for you. Why does Nick have one? Yeah, why not? Why does he need one?

Why do you need one? Why did I give you one? I don't even know. To buy games that we play? Yeah, just give yours to Nick.
Yeah. Yeah, just give yours to Nick and then he'll have one.

I used it for buying a domain. Considering that when I got a company card for Let's Play, I was told explicitly you two could not be trusted with them.
The fact that you both just have them.

Well, I told them when we worked at Rooster Teeth, I told them up front that I wasn't going to do any reporting for it. And they said, okay, we won't give you one.
And I said, fine. Yeah.

Because I knew I wouldn't, I knew that it would annoy them. It would annoy me.
I might as well just not have one. Can I tell you guys something funny?

I was going through like old mail the other day and just like cleaning up my

house and I found a letter from American Express that I had just never opened. And I opened it up and it was my new credit card from Rooster Teeth.

I guess I had just never noticed and activated my final Rooster Teeth American Express card.

It's pretty cool. Perfect time to activate it.

I did not activate it.

Do you think it works if you did? I do not think it works. I'm sure it's not.
I don't think there's anything it's talking to anymore. They finally...

They finally killed my email access three weeks ago. I'm sure that the credit cards went away a long time ago.
What if it's just linked directly to the Warner Media account?

Then you'd be committing some sort of illegal activity by using it, I would assume. What if it's just Bernie's now?

It's charge it against him. It's fine.
That's funny. Yep.

Okay, let's wrap this up. Should we really fuck off this time? Yeah, wait, where'd the blood come from? Where'd the blood come from? Oh, I don't know.
There's no more.

Sweet. I don't.
There's no more. There's no more blood.
I forgot about it. I don't see it.
Let's wrap up, I guess. All right.

Well, there you go. You have now listened to the 40.

What episode was this? Second?

Yeah, there you go. 40-second episode of the Regulation Podcast from start to finish.
I assume it would be weird if you just fast-forwarded to this part. Although, hey, man.

Whatever floats your boat, I'm not here to yuck your yum, as the young kids say these days. Thanks for listening.
I know it's the worst, right? It's not collab bad, but it's up there.

Thanks for listening to another episode.

I hope it was entertaining for you. It was certainly something on our end.
And we'd appreciate it if you'd let somebody in your life know about the regulation podcast.

Maybe a friend, family member, coworker, doctor, accountant, advisor, maybe your HR department,

old teacher, maybe a childhood friend, maybe a childhood bully that you're trying to reconnect with. Maybe somebody that you need to make a lifelong apology to.

Maybe somebody that you've said. Can you please end this so you can go to the fucking airport? Maybe it's just Eric.
I don't know. But let somebody know if you wouldn't mind.
We'd appreciate it.

And we'll be here next week saying the same dumb shit. I imagine Gavin's balls will come up at some point.
So you don't want to miss that. Bye-bye.

Eric left. Yeah, he did.
What is this? Face?

No se que pedir estas navidades. Porque ya tengo todo lo que decíaba.
Que McDonald's trajera de regres el magrip. Y a un que sono volvo portiem polimitado.
It is delicious sandwich to

sleep, sonnado cubierto dun intense

barbecue. It's sufficient for the great viestas.
And no one received a year, eh? Because also can

refresh in cualquieta maño miyordo de magri por solo unos esenta nueve. Bara papa papa.
Preso y participación pueden barrano puede cominars con 1

cómo mio.