Gurpler This Friday // Who Onion'd? [40]

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Hello and welcome to another episode of the Regulation Podcast.

This is number 40.

My name is Jeff Ramsey with me as always.

Andrew Panton, Gavin Free, Eric Medour, and Nick Schwartz.

Hello, boys.

Off the jump.

Let's just get it out of the way right now because this episode's coming out, I think, two days before Gerpltine's Day.

We should just, before Eric gets mad, because we forget and let it slip to the last three minutes of the podcast, don't forget the Gerpler is coming out on Friday,

I almost said April, Friday, February 14th at noon Central Time, Gerpltine's Day.

We have 5,000 of them.

There will also be some signs and a t-shirt reorder in there as well.

I've won Mario Party at this point, and I feel very good about it.

Everything is right in the world.

I'll tell you what didn't happen.

I didn't get disconnected.

I may not have won, but I was connected the entire time.

It won't be locked down at this point, but checking in at the sign vote at this current moment, $709 for the Scrumping, $459 for the Falcons.

I am surprised.

Yes,

I'm surprised it's so big.

I honestly, I went with the scrumping because that's where my heart is, but I thought Falcons would be higher.

We'll see.

We'll see what happens.

How was everybody's week since we last recorded a podcast?

I got injured in my sleep.

Oh,

I thought it was a dream.

Go on.

Face episode six.

Hell yeah.

I was sleeping.

and you know like when you're in that state of not knowing if you're awake or if it's a like if that's real like if it really happened or maybe you dreamt it I had one of those and for some reason I decided to bring my elbow as high up past my head as I could and I did that and I felt like a tinge in my kind of shoulder blade area and I went oh fuck I'm 30 now and I think I need to be careful of how I'm stretching in my sleep god damn it and then I went to sleep Again, I fell back asleep and

thought nothing of it.

Continued on for the day.

Then went to go to sleep the following evening.

And upon laying down, it felt like I was getting stabbed in the back

and I had to adjust.

I can't pull on things without pain.

I don't know what I've done if I've like pulled a muscle or like strained a tendon in my shoulder, but I've been I've been on the injury report for the past three days

Hopped out of the tub yesterday tried to dry off went oh oh went on doing the little shake motion with the towel we're hurt anybody else get on the injury report from sleeping uh

no I mean Gavin's always on the injury report

how's the gas situation Gavin oh I wouldn't say that's an injury though that's just something to wake up with and deal with and then it's fine

it's not an injury it's just a way of life.

It's just a misery and day out.

Like if your roof has a leak and you just have to dump the bucket once a day, is that an injury?

No, that's certainly.

Well, maybe to the house, actually.

I think it's exactly what it is to the roof.

Yeah, it seems like something that should be referred.

I mean, it's a bad analogy, right?

All-time worst analogies.

Yeah.

Too bad you don't have to get out of Greg free card because you could have definitely used it there.

Yeah, I am stuck inside Greg.

So did Andrew ever use his?

Oh, yeah, Andrew, did you?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I didn't.

I'm glad I didn't.

He's looking forward to using it soon, though.

God,

there's been multiple opportunities.

Is it because so much of the audience agreed with you on whatever you were going to use it for?

No, it just wasn't as bad.

The pitchforks weren't as sharp as I thought they would be.

The only reason why I didn't use it is because I thought the funniest way to use it would be to have me interject right before the conversation happened in the episode.

Just being like

stop everyone the conversation that's about to happen but uh i had that thought too late and i didn't want to like make that suggestion to nick uh day of so i was like it i'll just whatever comes comes ride it out why would you have to inform nick about the greg yeah because i wanted that edited into the episode at that point oh what you wanted we would have the argument and then yeah just remove it from the cut no no no no no it wouldn't be removed what would happen is I would like right before it would start, new audio of me coming in would interject, be like, I'm stopping the episode for a minute.

I'm playing the grade card.

Everything that precedes this argument, I'm safe for.

So you have to use, you have to fire up the time machine to use your grade card.

I mean, that's not how our reality works.

It's how the show reality would work.

Yeah.

So no.

Well, sort of.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I see what you mean.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're right.

Interesting.

I didn't realize it would use the time machine because so far I think only Nick and Eric have used the time machine.

And I know we have

never used it.

You've used it?

I think the three of us have used it when we were promoting the first Gerpler.

I think you're right.

That was wrong.

The first time we used it, yeah.

I think so.

The three of us, yeah.

We're just not known for using it.

No, we're not.

We're not known time.

Eric and Nick are iconic time machines.

Yeah, but I'm happy to open that door if you guys want to become time machine guys yourself as well.

Just sort of like a whole show of people who can use the time machine so it doesn't have to be me.

I'm fine with that.

I feel like when I think about time travel, I think about like a dinosaur with like a laser contraption on its eyes and a machine gun and then Nick and Eric.

Can I

use the time machine now to go back to the beginning of this conversation?

Please don't.

Okay.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

All right.

I mean, I was going to say yes, but Nick said no.

So I guess that's sort of...

Let's see what happens.

Look, look, if you want to hide the keys to the time machine, that's fine.

Yep.

All right, Nick drives it.

I just, I'm along for the ride, you know what I mean?

Let's go fucking nuts.

Nick, do you want to use the time machine to go back and be less negative towards Gavin's idea?

Will you use it to have a better analogy than if there was a leak in your roof?

Is that the plan?

You just tell me where you want to go, Gavin.

I want to go right before I made a really shit analogy about absolutely not.

Absolutely not.

It's too close.

The time machine has to go further back in time.

It can't go that soon back.

Sorry, man.

It's like a limitation.

I guess you don't have a Greg free card.

That's true.

What if I go back to the beginning of the time machine conversation and let everyone know that we're about to start talking about the time machine?

Is that still too soon?

I think you should use the time machine and be here on time.

That would be great, time machine.

Oh,

high five Eric.

Oh, oh, get him.

Ooh, wow.

That was good.

Oh, was I not on on time today?

You were one minute late.

You were one minute late.

Yeah.

Oh, shit.

I apologize.

And now that we sync at the beginning, I feel like it really fucks up your whole showing up on time thing.

Because you technically, you need to be here for a sync.

Also, Nick got weird today.

He wanted to sync without me.

He's like, should we do the sync without Gavin?

It's like, I don't understand what that would accomplish.

Nick, what do you think the sync is for?

Nick, I took notes on this question from before.

If you want, I'll give, I got you.

Okay, okay, go ahead.

But it's lining up audio, clearly.

Put all the tracks down, and they all go at the same time.

Yeah, I can see at the beginning where everybody's countdown is.

And if it's further in the track, it's harder to find.

I don't mean to throw

shade at you, Jeff, but.

Oh, please do.

Please do.

I had something happen to me in a game in GTA.

I was playing by myself.

And I thought, oh, this is going to be a funny story to tell.

And I captured clips of it.

And I was like, well, this is, you know, podcast would be easier if it was a photo.

And I went to look.

I took the most Jeff photo of this story that I could have possibly taken.

I was so disappointed in myself.

Where this is the one image I took during this process.

It doesn't.

It doesn't explain anything that happened or

what the issue was.

It is so contextually just empty.

Within the context of the story, it makes, but it's just like, even within

knowing what I'm doing with this, it's like, why did I take this angle?

What was, there was just zero thought process.

I was clearly panicking.

I was playing GTA 5 by myself.

And I've been trying to do these research missions where you go out and you have to steal something and then bring it back to your bunker.

And you can like unlock new upgrades that way of like different gun attachments or a heavy machine gun on a car type thing.

And so for this one, I had to steal a tank that was like six miles away, but they let you have a cargo bob next to the tank so you could scoop it up, you can attach a clip to it and then fly it all the way to your bunker, which I did.

And it was great.

It only took me like four minutes, except when I went to put it in the little yellow circle, I came in a little bit hot and the tank flipped upside down, like two feet away from the circle, and I couldn't get into the tank.

And I had to try to figure out how am I going to move this tank two feet just so I could wrap this up by myself.

And it became a mass struggle.

I was trying to steal vehicles to ram into it.

It wouldn't move it.

I was like, how the fuck am I going to?

It's two feet.

Like, it's just two feet.

And I got 20 minutes to do it.

Come on.

I called in, as you can see in the screenshot, my ramp vehicle.

I thought I was very clever seven minutes into this 20-minute timer.

I was like, I'm going to get the ramp vehicle and then I'm just going to scoop it up.

It's going to launch over like everything else.

It does not do shit.

Didn't work at all.

Just drove onto it.

Just bounced off of it.

Like it didn't.

even.

Yeah.

Like it didn't scoop it in any capacity.

I could not figure out how to get this thing to move.

And what's annoying about the tank, and I guess this is just how tanks work, is the heavy part is the lid and the part that you shoot.

Like if you shoot the body of it, it just spins because

it rotates around the head.

Like it's the part you can't, it's not solid.

Like it just spins in a circle if you make contact with the trucks when they're upside down.

Like it's 360s.

It doesn't

like, so instead of the, the blow of the impact going in a singular direction, all you do is you spin it either clockwise or counterclockwise, which makes it harder to push.

I was, I thought, one of my solutions was, oh, maybe.

Maybe Gavin can help because I eventually came to the idea of I have an alien blaster.

And I don't know if any of you guys have that, but I know Gavin does.

Yeah, cool me in.

Well, I was going to, you were streaming with Meg, so I didn't want to interrupt that.

So I was like, I'm fucked.

But I kept trying.

Took me 17 and a half minutes to move a tank two feet.

I got there.

I did it.

I completed it.

But it was just me constantly shooting this thing for like 17 minutes straight with an alien blaster.

Is that how you did it with shooting the thing?

That's how I did it.

There is nothing else I could do to flip it.

And I only flipped it not like i didn't even push it to the yellow i was able to move it like a foot to the left and it just rolled over because it was kind of on a hill looking downward jeff we've played a lot of the game uh should we both present our ideas for what we would have suggested uh yeah

you go ahead i i know what i would have used immediately but you go ahead okay andrew i would have uh pulled up in the the batman rocket car and i would have just backed up to it and then just blasted my jet engine i didn't have it

but i like the idea

I do have that.

I could have done that for you.

Gavin or Andrew, I'd have been happy to.

I would have pulled up in my Phantom Wedge, which is the 18-wheeler with the scoop front that will push through anything.

And I would have just nudged it with that.

It's got my nose on the front.

I did look at that.

I didn't have enough cash.

I considered trying to buy my way out of this problem, but I didn't.

I was like 400,000 short.

Within the game.

Yeah.

I wish I could have loaned you the 400,000.

I have a clip for this, if you want to see that.

Hell yeah.

Clip it.

Yeah.

Just as an example of

the frustration that I was going through.

Let me put a link here.

You'll see what I mean by where it spins.

The trucks spin on this thing.

It's very annoying.

So this is just me.

I'm trying to...

Andrew.

Like, it's right there.

And I'm trying to get it.

I'm just trying to scooch it a little bit.

This is so

stupid.

This is so...

This is the dumbest.

Why didn't you just redo the mission, man?

I can't.

I'm locked in, and I'm like, it's two feet away.

That little green bunker symbol next to the ammo, that's where I got to get it.

So I eventually decide I'm just going to try to push it down the hill because it's closer.

I mean, this is worse than might be.

Yeah, I'm getting

five minutes from when you took the screenshot originally.

Just, if you're listening to to this, just know the tank is totally upside down and it is teetering on the top part of the tank that spins.

And so he's just shooting it.

It's kind of rocking back and forth, but literally inching to where

it like this isn't right.

It's like watching a seven-year-old try to move a refrigerator.

So it was daytime when I started this mission in this context of how long it's been.

This is me.

This is me.

You're a maniac.

So this is when you come in hot.

Yeah.

Great.

So, I'm coming.

They're chasing me, and you're going to see that it was a problem.

This whole mission had problems to it.

Yeah, everything's wrong with this mission.

Oh, my God.

I thought it was being very sneaky.

Andrew clipped the tank on a tree.

He's just hitting all the trees.

He's hitting shrubs.

I'm trying to avoid the trees.

I'm getting chased by helicopters.

But I may have come up with a new sport, I believe, if this lines up the way I think.

Yeah.

Oh, no.

So, like, shot put with the tank.

Dude, that was a treppy shade.

How did you do that?

That's the coolest thing I've ever seen.

Oh, my God.

Gavin and I were in unison.

It started with that, but that was.

I've never seen that work.

That was my tank journey GTA, but mainly when I wanted to show a screenshot of like, this is where the tank was to the hole.

And I didn't have that.

And I felt like such an idiot just looking at my one dumb side screenshot.

I want people to know who are listening.

What we just saw was Andrew in a cargo bob carrying a tank so low that he's hitting trees and shrubs.

It gets hung up on a pole and it catches so that cargo bob keeps going forward.

The tank drags behind and then the momentum gets to the point where he does a full front flip and then launches the tank forward, like Gavin said, like a trebuchet.

That's insane.

He did a full flip.

That was in a cargo bob.

What?

Can I ask a question?

We're not recording tomorrow morning, right?

We decided not to.

Yeah, right, right.

We're doing a thing.

Gavin and I are doing a thing, but we can also do this.

Oh, right.

After we do the thing, can we do this?

Yeah.

I would love to try this.

This, and also, I want to do my Call of Dirty idea that I pitched to you guys yesterday.

I did some research on it, and it gets even better.

Yeah.

Oh, great.

Yeah, we could try a tank toss.

Tank line up on the same tree and see who can throw it furthest oh that's really interesting just something to think about who knows how long the thing that the three of us are doing will take i also i had an idea for a draft that we could maybe do at some point and what's that

how do you feel about a a a peeve draft yeah i love it what what is that oh yeah like drafting peeves

what's that things that annoy us pet peeve

like we were just talking about one of mine earlier today actually is is pet peeve one of the types of peeves or are they all pet peeves i don't know what that means you're asking the helium guy that question

i've just never used never really used peeve on its own it's always pet peeve but why do you specify what kind of peeve peeve verb annoy or irritate that was one thing that peeved him but what's the pet part My peeve is people treating me like a moron.

What the?

When you go to the Wikipedia for it, it says pet peeve.

A pet peeve, pet aversion aversion or pet hate is a minor annoyance that an individual finds particularly irritating to a greater degree than the norm.

What the fuck is a pet aversion just seems like you don't like cats.

So it's like pet to mean small?

Is that what it means?

I think so.

I think so.

So,

dude, should we create Wikipedia where we just list all the things that are peeves?

That's so good.

Pretty good.

I think this is going to be Eric's honorable mentions.

I think we're going to finish the draft.

You have any honorable mentions?

And Eric just be like, boys, boys, sit down.

Boys, watch out.

I got my list.

Yeah, Wikipedia could just be the name of our Peave Draft.

I like it.

Wikipedia, I love it.

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Should we take a second before we get too far into the episode to discuss the rooster teeth of it?

Oh, it's probably a good idea.

Yeah.

We probably should.

I'll be honest.

It's been 24 hours, but I'm already sick of talking about it.

But we definitely should address it in the main podcast.

If people aren't aware, our previous parent company, Rooster Teeth, Teeth,

the company that was around for about 22 years,

went out of business last year.

If you're listening to this, you probably are aware that we spun off and started our own company.

Well,

one of the other founders, Bernie, was able to acquire the name of Rooster Teeth and some of the intellectual property and has reformed the company in some manner that isn't entirely

clear yet.

They have more information coming, but a lot of people have been asking if this means that we will then be rejoining Rooster Teeth because we were once a part of Rooster Teeth and like what that means for regulation.

And what it means for regulation is that we are so fucking excited and happy for Bernie and Ashley and for Rooster Teeth and for the people that like Rooster Teeth content to be able to have that home on the internet again.

But we aren't involved with it.

We spent the last nine months creating our own company.

carving out our own space on the internet and building our own little self-contained universe.

And we're very, very happy here and very excited about where we are and the direction that we're going and the adventure that we are on.

And we will be tremendous fans of the new Rooster Teeth adventure and whatever direction that goes.

And we will be friends of them.

And I'm sure you will see us commingle at different points in the future, but we will be distinct and separate companies.

And there's no,

I don't think there's any plans for that to change anytime soon, if at all.

No, not at all.

Not at all.

Not at all.

Zero.

Yeah.

Will not happen.

So, I mean, if you want to get into the weeds of it, you know, I think I could take credit for that idea.

Yeah.

Please for Bernie buying it.

Floated it to him, sent him a little message.

I said, hey, you know, it'd be cool if you bought it, bought some of the IP.

And then it happened, you know.

So I'm not saying that's a factual story that I just said, but if you want to give me credit, I'm open to it.

Yeah.

I'm willing to take it.

Sam, I think, here, all credit to you, Andrew.

Thank you so you so much for doing that.

Yeah, yeah, I just like floating on this idea.

You know, he was about the eighth person I texted saying, hey, you know, it'd be cool

buying the RT property.

If anybody else wants to have anything else they want to add or elucidate to that, or if I misframed anything, but I think just the general gist is that we are genuinely happy and excited.

And I don't think anybody wanted Rooster Teeth to disappear from the internet because of some Warner Brothers purge.

So the fact that Bernie has it in some fashion and is able to keep it alive i think is great we were all there when it died like clearly we didn't want that to happen we were all employed by it yeah as it sank uh but yeah we zero yeah we had healthcare

i still did healthcare was cool it still is um

anyway yeah we will there will be no collab between i i just think being definitive There's no thought of one, at least.

Yeah, I don't know what that would be.

Like, we don't collab.

Like, people have been asking me a lot about it.

And I get it.

I totally understand it.

We spent 22 years making content together.

I would also point you to 22 years' worth of content if you're looking for any, because we made a shitload of it.

Like, if you started today, it would take you a decade to get through all the content Bernie and I made together.

But, uh, but we don't collaborate with anyone.

Like, we don't have guests on the podcast.

We never did.

We, I dare say, never will.

You know, when we were at Rooster Teeth, we didn't have people on from Rooster Teeth on this.

We've had one person come on, and I, I, I, they're delightful.

they're so funny part of me though was like this we don't do this we don't do this i i get it yeah we had one person come on as a whim uh during the chip tasting and i and i don't know that we'll ever that that'll ever happen again it was great it was fine yeah but fantastic

we're pretty keyed into

making what we're making with each other and only us if that makes sense yeah absolutely i think i think that was really well said i think that was great um

do we all have squinkles i got my squinkles I got my squinks.

My squinkles are on the way.

Are you fucking

serious?

There's no, this is a bit.

You're doing a bit.

Are you serious?

Oh, hang on.

Did they just get to limit?

How are they not there?

Dude,

we took a break.

We took a 90-minute break between our

so you could get your squinkles.

I uber eated a sandwich in that time.

How could you not uber eat squinkles?

I did.

They're on the way.

That's insane.

Why did we take the break because i was gonna go and they weren't at that store okay fair enough that you know what you really should have led with that i agree with these other guys you should have said that in first nick nick fire up the time machine

all right all right they're delivered anyway they're here i just didn't see yeah

fair enough okay go get your squinkles okay well he gets those let me just say a little communication could be nice gavin's come at me for a lack of communication a little hey i went They didn't have any.

I'm going to order them.

Gavin likes to start in, you start in the second act.

Go get your squinkles.

Well, I'm going to defend.

Okay.

Go!

Get your squinkles.

Defend later.

Defend later.

I talked to Jeff about this yesterday.

I said there are times where Gavin does stuff and the way he presents a question, it's like he's waiting for you to walk into a trap, but that's never what he's actually doing.

It just feels like it every time.

It's a great example of that.

God.

He's not even going to like these squinkles.

No.

No.

We're all going to hate him and he's going to hate him twice as much.

Oh, I think I'm going to like him.

Eric, I was trying to answer your question as directly as possible.

You said, does everyone have their squinkles?

I'm telling you, no.

Do you want to start with the story?

The answer.

I think the reason everyone was mad at you is that we took a 90-minute break for your answer to still be no.

Well, yeah, but

wouldn't it be annoying if you were like, does everyone have their squinkles?

And I'm like, here's what happened.

So I went to the...

No, I don't have him like

i do have him though i was wrong

boo boo

um so jeff reset the squinkles stuff what what talk tell us about the squinkles all right

okay we are at the airport leaving cancun we've had an amazing uh four days together sun and fun and salt water and a lot of diarrhea and some pretty questionable evening entertainment.

And now we're hanging out at the airport at Margaritaville, waiting to come back to America.

And we decide to walk to our gate and glance over to the right.

And what do I see but a package of candy called Squinkles

Chunks?

And I thought to myself, that can't be real.

So I go and I pick it up and I take a picture of it to go show Eric.

And then he goes, that's the craziest thing I've ever seen.

And then we get on a plane and go back to America.

Very dumbly didn't buy the Squinkles Chunks.

Thought the photo was enough.

Don't know what was wrong with me there.

Mentioned it on the podcast.

Everybody's decided they want to try squinkles.

So then every week when we record the podcast, we all get ready to eat the squinkles, but Gavin never has them.

And I think this is like the ninth podcast in a row we've tried to do squinkles.

And now it sounds like Gavin has them.

So we're all going to eat squinkles and see what we think.

Well, you kept changing the time of the podcast to be earlier than my squinkle getting.

It's been two weeks.

Two weeks.

In between, go in between.

In between the days.

There are other Squinkles with today's date.

All right.

I was not able to find Squinkles Chunks, but I got Squinkle.

Salsagedi.

I got Squinkles Salsagedi.

That's what I got.

You also got Salsagheti.

I have Squinkles Chunks.

They are not hard to find.

They're at like Walgreens and CVS.

I tried both of those stores, didn't him?

Wow.

Is that what your clock looks like, Gavin?

What is that?

Yeah, that's my satellite clock.

So I'm always on time exactly.

I always didn't use it today.

You were an hour.

You were a minute late.

Yeah, so, but that's how I get on time.

Why do you put things of importance on the floor?

You're shaving with a mirror on the floor.

Your clock's on the floor.

What are you doing?

On the floor?

That's a footstool.

Okay.

Yeah, I apologize.

That's not where I keep the clock.

That's where I put the clock to take the picture.

Oh, that's a nice chunk.

That's what a squinkles chunk looks like.

It looks like dog food.

It looks like a little cat treat.

It does.

It does look like a cat treat.

How's the chunk?

Oh, I love it.

Good chunk.

Really?

What does it taste like?

Tamarind and mango.

Okay.

And almost like it's got a little bit of tahina and sugar.

Like a little bit.

Squinkles salsagetti looks kind of like somebody rolled red vines around in

sand.

It does.

That is a great explanation.

Like you dropped your, you dropped your red vines in the sand pit, and you had to eat it anyway.

We're gonna, we're getting into the salsagetti.

Should we do it?

Yeah, let's do it.

Nick's excited about the little sauce packet.

Open mine.

Well, do you put it on it, or is it on the side?

What are you supposed to do with it?

Sauce on the side?

I feel like you probably put it on, I'd assume.

So I'm opening.

What is this?

Soy?

What is this?

Yeah, it's soy.

Cassano.

Yeah, I'm gonna pour it on there.

You know what?

That's not half bad.

Oh, that's thick.

and chai

holy shit oh is it a little spicy yeah got a little kick to it

what's that i haven't used the brown sauce yet what's the soy sauce like oh

oh we're trying to soy sauce

oh

it was better without it i bet the salsa getty or whatever is like a like a watermelon-y strawberry thing and then the sauce is probably like a tamarind flavor thing.

Yeah, it's very watermelon.

That's great.

That's really good.

I enjoy squinkle.

Dude, I'm a squinkle guy.

His squinkles chunks are so good.

So your squinkles chunks kind of taste like you said they're mango?

Yeah, they're definitely mango and like tamarind, like a little bit tamarind.

Dude, squinkle salsaghetti is fucking good.

Yeah, you ever eat something and all you can taste is just

the fact that your body probably can't make use of any of this.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

McDonald's.

That's what it tastes like.

I mean, it tastes like every

like Mexican candy I would get growing up as a kid.

I really like it.

Yeah, yeah.

This just tastes like, it tastes like all of that.

Easy.

Super easy to eat.

Not a candy guy.

I'm a squinker.

I think I am.

I'm a squinker.

Yeah, I'm a squink fan from here on out.

Hey, I got a gift for you

next week.

I'll take any extra squinks off your hands for you.

Like go to the five packets.

Wow, you went all in.

Yeah, I ordered what was available.

Speaking of going all in, can I tell you guys a little story about going all in without realizing it over the weekend?

Please.

Last Friday, this is a follow-up to my dick story.

This is kind of dog related.

Last Friday, Emily and I had to take little Albert to the

allergy specialist, right?

Mm-hmm.

Because he's, you know, he's, he's a little nerd and he's got a billion allergies.

And he, uh, it's just been a constant.

It's a problem with being an English bulldog, right?

Henry had all the same shit.

And so we had to take him up there because he has to get shots.

I have to personally, because Emily can't do it.

She's too dressed out by it.

I have to give him two shots every three days for the next hundred years.

And then at some point, he'll be no longer be allergic to outside, I guess.

But anyway, so we had to go all the way up to Round Rock to this allergy specialist to go get the medicine medicine and everything.

And it just so happens that right next door to it, you have to actually, the way it's, it's at like a cul-de-sac off the, or some sort of a, um, like a traffic circle off of 35 in Round Rock, where you end up, you have to go through a Freddy's fast food restaurant to get back to the main road after you go to the allergy place.

And I've never been to a Freddy's, but it had a nice sign.

And I was like, hey, do you, do you want to get some food?

And nobody was like, yeah, let's, let's get some food from that place.

And so we went through the drive-thru.

They had hot dogs.

So I was like, obviously, I'm going to get a chili cheese dog, right?

I showed you guys a picture of it.

It was number 38 on the list, I believe, 38 or 39.

And they asked me, they said,

what would you like, sir?

And I said, I'll take a chili cheese dog.

And they said, do you want onions on that?

And I went, well, yeah, of course.

And they go, okay.

And then they said, ma'am, what would you like?

And she was like, I'll have a cheeseburger.

And they're like, just like the number one or whatever.

And they're like, okay, do you want onions on that?

And she was like, yeah, it comes with it.

You know, we're like, okay.

And then they give us our food and we go pull into the parking lot and eat.

And my

hot dog is swimming in onions.

And we're like, well, they went a little heavy on the onions, huh?

And Emily's like, I swear it's just, it's just like patty, cheese, onion, mustard, and bun, but mostly onion.

And we kind of laugh about it and we eat it.

And then we throw the bag away immediately in the parking lot.

There's a trash can and go home, go into the house, go about our business, go back into the car to leave.

And the car smells so intensely like onion, we can't be in it with the windows rolled up.

And we're like, Holy shit, how did it get so oniony in here?

This is crazy.

How did we not notice it last time?

And so, we go do our business.

We have to drive around town with the windows down.

We go to our business, we come home, we leave the windows down.

We're like, Yeah, we'll just leave the windows down for a while.

I'm sure it'll be fine.

That began a saga of us trying to get the onion smell out of our car that has not ended.

No,

I don't know.

Under Emily's car right now are like seven air fresheners, like leather scent air fresheners.

We had, I drove the car around on Sunday for like an hour with every window down intently just to get breeze in.

On Sunday day, I left it in the yard with every window down and the rear trunk up for like nine hours.

We sprayed, we for breezed, we've vacuumed to see if there were onions that fell somewhere.

We cannot get onion out of this goddamn car.

We've made tremendous progress, but let me tell you, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, you couldn't sit in the car.

Man, that's crazy.

I've never seen anything like it in my entire life where the onion scent transference was so strong, it just, it just like imbued itself into the inner workings of the car.

You couldn't have made it smell more like onions if you chopped up an onion and just shoved it into the air vent.

It was insane.

It's still insane.

Do you think some onion did get in the vent?

No, how's onion going to get in the vent?

Honey, you've seen me eat.

It's not that messy.

Do you think a worse smell would stack with the onion or would it displace the onion?

Like if you went full windows up, canister strumming sort of thing, would it blast the onion out?

I don't think so.

I don't think anything is getting rid of this onion.

This onion has taken hold of my wife's car and it's not letting go.

It's like a demon onion.

It's like we need to have some sort of an onion exorcism.

I don't know what else to do.

The car has been aired out for like 16 hours of Texas air straight.

It just,

it won't go away.

I'm going to come and puff some of this onion.

All right.

The only solution is to have Gavin come over, have a sleepover, fill that gut up with air, and then let him go fart crazy in this car.

Start pushing those scents around.

I think you might be able to seat it.

I'll sleep in the car.

Do you have a USB plug for my seat pack?

Yeah, we do.

I'm willing to try it, man.

I'm willing to try it.

I wish it smelled as bad as it did initially.

You can still smell it now, but it's also the thing where, like, do I smell onions or am I just convinced that I smell onions?

But I definitely think we still smell them.

Yeah.

You need to make like popcorn in the car.

You need to get an air popper in there.

You need to just try to overpower it.

What if we all sit in the car?

There's five seats, right?

Yeah.

And we'll all do a different task in the car that makes a nicer smell

if it's i tell you what i'll let me get in there this weekend and see how bad it is and maybe that's a supplemental weekend film we could do a popcorn in one seat maybe i could get some baking going in a different seat i did i did i actually

this is something maybe we could try the day at well actually on monday i had to go back up to the allergists because one of the vials cracked and all the fucking i don't know, whatever it is, medicine fell out.

And so I had to go, I had to make it a, go make an emergency run.

And I was like, you know what I'm going to do?

Cause I was in my car.

I was like, I'm going to get the same order

and I'm going to eat it in the parking lot.

I'm going to eat both orders since I'm by myself.

And then I'm going to see if it was a one-time thing.

You're insane.

Or if it's something else

that's weird

that just like simultaneously made an onion smell, like some problem with the engine or something that we're attributing to the onions, but it's not, you know, or like whatever.

And I was all set to do it.

And I even told Emily I'm going to do this.

She's like, that's a terrible idea.

You shouldn't do it.

This has been a nightmare for us.

And I'm like, I know, but I got to know.

I got to know.

I got to know.

Whether you onioned or the car.

I got to know.

You're going to do this.

Right.

So I drive, because it's like fucking 40 minutes up to Round Rock to go do this, right?

I drive up there to go get the vial and the goddamn Freddy's wasn't open yet because I drove out there too early in the morning because I'm a moving guy and I didn't realize that they don't open until like 11.

So I couldn't perform the test, but

maybe,

maybe that's what we do.

Maybe that's our supplemental.

I'm not trying to step on 100% Eats territory or anything, but maybe we should try to onion out the car and see if we can destroy my car with onion.

See if we can replicate what happened to Emily's car.

We should do this tomorrow.

Well, I'm certainly okay with that.

Go and onion the car and then we'll all try and de-onion the car.

Okay.

I support it.

You guys will have to schedule that.

Do it after the game stuff.

Gavin won't show up if it's not on the calendar.

That's true.

I forgot about a recording yesterday because it wasn't on the calendar.

We'll figure it out.

The worst thing is that usually when I'm late, or I've just forgotten about something, I'm right here just working at my desk.

Like I don't have to physically move anywhere.

I'm just being late in the right place.

I really, I'm not a negative review food place guy.

But if I read a review for a restaurant that said, do not go here,

the onion is so strong it has taken over the scent of my car for the past two weeks i'm going to that place i need to figure out what's going on with these onions

if you guys can't get the onions out you need to go to the restaurant and just interview what are you doing what are what are these onions where are you importing these from

oh man we need to do a deep dive on onions

i'm glad we're going to go do this i really am uh whether we do it tomorrow or sometime in the future i really i do want to get to the bottom of it and uh and i'm prepared to sacrifice gavin's car to do it.

Yeah.

And I think, I think my thing, I'm going to cook bacon in my seat.

Okay.

And then everyone can come up with a different task for Eric and Nick, do you have any ideas?

I'm sure we can land on something.

I'm just looking at the calendar.

We're not going to be able to do it tomorrow, but how many USB plugs do you have in the car, Jeff?

How many devices could be possibly plugged in?

I have, well, I have, I have one and I have wireless charging.

Well,

I can bring my battery that will power.

45 things.

Oh, yeah, that's a good call.

You can have your little battery.

Do you guys ever think about bandanas?

Only when I'm looking at Marcus Phoenix.

Outside of that, no.

But I think about them a lot when I'm looking at Marcus Phoenix.

I was thinking about bandanas the other day.

And I was thinking, so I did a little research because I was like, who invented the bandana, right?

This was a Solrite thing that's not going to, I'm not going to do Solrite.

But,

and bandanas were invented like in India, I want to say like a billion years ago, right?

And they were invented to do what you would think to cover your neck, protect your neck, and to tie your hair back, right?

And I got to thinking about cowboys and how cowboys used bandanas mostly when they're riding their horses to stop from breathing in dust and shit, right?

I figure they were probably the first people to wear a bandana up over their nose to cover their mouth, which got me thinking, who was the first guy?

Because there must have been a first guy who like put his bandana up with his buddy because they were going to go, you know, drive right on down to the next town.

And he goes, you know what, Steve, with that bandana up, you could be anybody.

I couldn't tell who you were.

If you went and robbed a bank right now, nobody would know it was Steve.

You're completely anonymous.

And then somebody was like, that is true.

With a bandana up over my nose, I'm anonymous.

I can commit crimes.

And then all crimes were committed in the cowboy days by people who wore bandanas over their face.

So I wonder if the guy who who invented bandana crime knows what he did going forward.

You think the bandana was the first face covering crime?

Might have been.

That's interesting.

Whether it was the first face cover crime or not, there was a first person who said, I'm going to use it for this reason.

And then, let's be honest, bandanas are iconic with robbing banks now, right?

Like when I think of a bandana, I think of a cowboy robbing a stagecoach or or a bank.

And that had to start somewhere.

It probably started with a clough.

Do you think there was intentionality to it?

Or do you think it was like, let's say, a crew of four people?

And one of them is like, you see what you see, John is going to fucking wear his bandana and that guy refuses to take that bandana off.

He thinks it's so cool.

What an idiot.

He looks so dumb.

And then the three of them get identified immediately and nobody fucking knows who the fourth guy is.

And then that's the light bulb moment.

He's the guy who figured it out.

He's like the wet bandits.

He's the bandana bandit.

Yeah.

It feels to me like a thing where it happened and then there was a result and they went, oh shit, we can use it like this as opposed to someone being like, I can cover, I'll be anonymous.

They'll never arrest me.

There was a moment, though, you're absolutely right, Andrew.

There was a light bulb moment.

For all I know, bandit

comes from the word bandana.

Do you think there's ever been a police lineup where all five of the people in the lineup are wearing bandanas?

Oh, I guarantee.

Yeah, yeah absolutely it's trying to identify that's funny i never considered the bandana history jeff yeah

i uh i i got i got thinking about it the other day and i just couldn't stop thinking about like that whoever that person was who was like i'm gonna rob this stagecoach and you'll never know it was me i'll never forget and then everybody's like that's brilliant i'm gonna do that too i wonder if it created criminals

people like i did dana i never would have done this in a million years but now it's like people being trolls on the internet.

Like, nobody's going to have to

man.

If only I could do this anonymously, I would be the biggest son of a bitch.

Wait a minute.

Do you think there was like a corner store where they couldn't keep bandanas in stock?

It's like, oh, I'm really worried about what's going to happen in this town.

These are flying off the shelf.

Do you think anyone ever robbed the store they bought the bandana from?

Yeah.

You know, there was a guy who was selling it to him, too, who was like, I'm going to remember your face and your face.

And then there's no fucking cameras.

So he's like, he's got his, he's got his, his partner has to draw every person that comes in and buys a bandana just so they have a record.

He just draws everyone from the eyes to the fore to the top of the head.

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I came up recently with what I think is going to be a good invention.

This is probably some lab work, but it's

an advanced lab.

Like, I don't have these skills.

Sure.

But I feel like I'm at a certain age.

I'm of an age where this would come in handy.

I want to place a little fist on

like a bidet attachment.

You know, when the thing comes out and it squirts water into your anus?

Yeah.

I want just a little fist on the end of that to just knuckle the back of my balls a little bit.

I hate it.

I hate everything you're saying.

I didn't know.

You said fists and I didn't know where any of this was going.

I didn't think it was going to be that.

I didn't think you want to bolt, like speed bag your sack, but

can you explain that again so I make sure I understand what you're saying?

Well, sometimes when I stand up and I've done, I've done a piss, like if I sat down to pee and I stand up, sometimes it's just like a little in the pipes and I've got to just

move some stuff around to get all the drips out.

And I feel like if that was automated, that would be real nice.

That's going to be a, that's a short-term solution for a problem that's only going to get worse as you age.

There aren't enough little fists in the world to punch your balls enough to get all the pee trapped in there.

By the time you're like my age, dude, it's just a constant dribble.

It's like a it's like a it's like a yard hose that won't fully turn off so you're just like constantly throughout the day leaking piss no but for like maybe a minute there's like a danger zone of like a minute after i pee where i have to like think like do i need to go back to the bathroom and try again just in case and there's all and if i do there's always a little bit more and if i don't i'm always like well change my pants because for me it's I'm only trapping piss when my balls are in hang mode, but whenever they're lifted up again by the boxes, that's when the rest comes out.

And I'm just sick of it.

I would say piss is the thing that changes the most with age, honestly.

I pee, I was thinking about this the other day.

I want to start recording it.

I pee now, like every one of my peas is longer than my previous longest pee from my 20s or 30s.

It's just like every time I piss, it's like a camel now.

I don't know where it comes from.

I don't know why.

It doesn't matter if I pee twice a day or 18 times a day.

And there's always just like

the dribbliest of dribbles for a while.

It's all and this is for every one of you dudes.

It only gets worse.

I don't want to sugarcoat it for you because it definitely sucks.

You're definitely not one to sugarcoat.

I'm at the point now where I would say maybe once every three weeks, I'm changing my boxes after a piss.

Oh, that's so funny.

I'm leaking it.

Enjoy it while you can.

Oh, man.

Maybe I need to to do some, like,

what's the clenchy thing?

Take a cool shot.

Yeah, maybe I need to do some of those to.

Oh, maybe.

But yeah, at the moment, I'm just having to get down there and sort of nurse the balls around a little bit just to get it all out.

And I think if that was automated, it'd be phenomenal.

I think you should try it.

Would you use it, Jeff?

Yeah, I would definitely try it.

I just, I think that, and the whole point that I was trying to make is that I think I'm beyond getting use out of it.

Right.

Like, it's like it would maybe handle 20% of the problem, but I still got to deal with the other 80% after, you know?

But for the window that you're in right now, I bet that would work very well.

Yeah, maybe it would do me for 10 years and then I'm just beyond repair.

I have a soul right idea for you, Jeff.

I've been sitting on for a while.

Okay.

You'll like it.

It's going to take some research.

You've been talking, you know, about all-star players not playing and how much money they make in the NBA.

I'd love to know if there is a player that is making like 60 million and is just a bench player at this point.

If there is a time in the NBA's history in which him sitting as an individual is making more money than the entire roster of a championship team and like the 70s or the like 60s.

I don't think it would have been in the 60s or the 70s because there weren't pay disparities like there are now.

There just wasn't money in the league like there is now.

There'd be a much greater chance of it happening in 2024 or 2025 than any other time, I'd say.

No, I'm saying like if you take the roster of every player from 1970 and you add it up,

is it less than the amount that they're paying this one guy to not play?

Like every player in the league?

No, every player on the team that won the championship that year.

So you take the roster of the winning team.

I just, the idea of that like, yes, you're

paying more to one guy to not play than a team paid all of their guys that won a championship is very funny to me.

I'm curious if that has ever happened.

I guarantee you it probably has.

It hasn't.

But I'll look into it.

I'll definitely look into it.

You mentioned that and there was like some big NBA news this week that kind of like, I think it, it exploded to such a degree that it was bigger than NBA.

Like it was invading my wife's TikTok.

And like I had to explain to Vanessa what was going on.

She's like, why am I getting inundated with this Luca Donchic shit, you know?

But there was a huge NBA trade this week where Luka Doncic was traded to the Los Angeles Lakers for a guy named Anthony Davis, and people are up in arms about it, myself included.

But what I want to talk to you guys about is when it happened Saturday night, kind of in the middle of nowhere, or like out of the middle of nowhere, I was playing Call of Duty.

And so I watched Sports Center and I was like consuming all the media I could.

And then I was just about to go to bed.

And at like 1:30 in the morning, I got an alert from my phone that there was an emergency Bill Simmons podcast to discuss the Luka Doncic trade.

And so I thought, oh, fuck, I got to stay up and listen to this.

This is what what I've been waiting for.

And then so from 1:30 to like 2.45 or whatever, I listened to that podcast and then I went to bed.

And that got me thinking, we should do an emergency podcast one day about something.

I love it.

Preferably something we don't know anything about.

But yeah, like I just want us to have to do an emergency podcast one night where we all have to get together at 1 a.m.

and like and talk about it, you know?

We should all install a siren in our house that's linked to the same like button press.

And if you hear the siren, you have to start podcasting.

We should be able to rig that up, right?

I could rig that up.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I take Eric's silence to mean he's on board.

Yeah.

Oh, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm for any good idea, guys.

I'm just trying to, it would be

take that how you will.

He's in.

I wish that we were friends with like a Shands type person, like an insider, a sports insider, to be like, when this trade happens, maybe like two seconds before you post about it, hit this button.

Let us know.

Have the light go off.

Like I'm trying to figure out what would be the thing that unites us for this emergency reaction.

What's a fun emergency?

Sports have fun emergencies.

But there has to be other things that also have fun emergencies.

What's the most fun emergency?

Like a surprise iPhone drop or something?

Oh.

you know how sometimes they're like and it's available right now yeah but maybe for like something none of us follow right yeah it's got to be something none of us follow yeah

that's a it's a good thing to think about something coming out would be cooler like what if what if it was like hey elder scroll six came out but we'll all know about that yeah or do you want to like the the emergency aspect of it is i don't think delivering on that

yeah i gotta agree with answer it's just us doing a recording about elder scrolls coming out when it comes out which i'm not opposed to but if it came out now like right this second shouldn't we start playing it yeah if it's a if it comes out as a surprise

i've played gta 5 while this podcast is happening that game came out 10 years ago i'm ready for a new release what's funny is that the i think the announcement for elder scrolls six

Between then and now is longer than when Skyrim came out and that announcement.

Jesus.

Yeah.

So all they really really told us with that announcement was that the number after five is six that's all the information we got they they clearly haven't didn't start working on it yeah

yeah

well i think they planned on yeah they've it's a weird time over there starfield i think was gonna have a lot longer of a tale than i think it will end up having yeah i agree with that

I need to play that DLC.

Really good first mission, that DLC.

A lot of fun.

We haven't seen something in Deja Vu.

Can we talk about this next year?

Yep.

Word for word.

Oh, oh, man.

Anyway, I guess until we figure out what it is, everybody just keep your eyes peeled for an emergency.

And if anything pops up and you're like, holy shit, that was unexpected.

Maybe we can assemble.

I think

if you have a suggestion as a listener as well, please let us know.

This is like,

getting creative with it.

Anything that we could have like a news alert for on a phone would be ideal of just it pops and then we all have to go.

Gavin, you need to construct an alarm system or something because I have my alerts off at all times.

So I'm going to miss this emergency alert.

Yeah, is there a reason that you just never have alerts on it for anything?

I just

don't really notice when it vibrates.

I don't like the noise my phone makes when it has an alert.

Yeah, but do you not think that every day where we're like, hey,

can we do this or can we change this?

Well, no, it's because of the four of us all say, sure, and then you don't reply for 80 minutes.

It's probably because I'm sleeping, if that happens.

At like 2 p.m.

Well, if I'm sick, yeah.

I mean, I've been sick.

I mean, yeah, dude, 2 p.m.

here?

That's noon.

What do you mean?

What do you mean?

Why are you?

He sends us

80% of my slacks from Andrew are at 5 in the morning.

Yeah.

Why do you keep odd hours?

Sleep at night.

I would love to.

He's creating a beat of his own drummer.

Maybe

when you injured your shoulder, was that in a night sleep or a day sleep?

It's a crazy question.

I think it was like probably 10 p.m.

It was a night sleep.

Okay.

Man,

if you wore an aura ring, it wouldn't know what the fuck to do with you.

Change

everything.

Stop whatever this is.

The ring would be like, human malfunctioning, please remove me.

I can be of no help.

We should get you out and see if you can be the first person to score a one for a sleep.

Dude, I would love to see Andrew's sleep score.

We'll do it.

Let's get it.

So you're saying that you have your alerts off because you don't like when your alerts go off?

Yeah.

No one likes it.

Yeah.

I'm never like sick.

Yeah, so turn it off.

They're called alerts.

They alert you.

They're not called goods like yeah i check my phone constantly so i see i'm i you brought up that like i've i've been delayed first of all this is a democracy of a company we have you technically don't need my vote

oh there are things where i'm not i'm not moving forward until i hear from everyone we like to check in with you and make sure you're good with tons of stuff and sometimes we'll be talking in slack you'll be talking in slack And then someone will ask a question about the schedule, like maybe 10 minutes later, and we don't hear from you for like two hours.

Yes,

that has been funny.

And then because then I'll get a text from Gavin and he'll just say, what happened?

It's also not always purely a yes or no.

Sometimes your insights are invaluable.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We'd like to see your opinion on stuff that you're not even in.

I just,

I want it noted that the man that had two weeks to get squinkles is coming at me right now about me being timing.

He's got you.

Damn, you just got squeaked, bro.

Dude.

You really dropped the squink on that one, Gavin.

No, you squeaked the ball.

That's better.

We film videos in the morning, and then we film the podcast much later in the afternoon.

I assume I'm just going to go and get the squinks between.

And you keep moving the podcast up, stepping on my swing.

Do it on literally any other day.

It's other stuff on other days.

I'm doing other things.

Oh, my God.

You're not that.

You said that when you have stuff going on, you're typically just at the desk you're at right now.

Yeah, I mean, I could have stopped editing pineapple donut and gone and got squinks, but but guess what?

I was editing the video that comes out tomorrow.

But you didn't even go to get squinks.

I did.

They weren't there.

They didn't sell any.

Why did you look before you went?

I should have.

Geez,

we put out a video.

You should have.

Sometimes you're just wrong, but I get the fight.

I respect fighting and knowing internally you're wrong.

Back to the corner.

If, Andrew, if the mind table is where it was last week, where's the corner?

I don't know how to answer that question.

What do you mean?

Okay.

I'm locked in on my sleep for a second.

I got a call from Eric one day and I went, oh, fuck.

What happened?

And it was the day you guys were filming the agility thing.

And I was like, why did I get a call?

I wonder what happened.

What did I need?

And then in the video, you guys have a wheel and one of the things you talk about is call Andrew.

And then it's cut me getting called because I didn't answer.

And I assume it was nothing.

But I spent at least a week going, I wonder what the call was about because we never talked about it.

I never asked.

I was curious.

Did you see it in the moment and just decide not to answer it or you just missed the call?

I missed the call.

Oh, okay.

But it was funny to watch the video and see you guys set up a wheel and then the edit of like never calling me, but knowing the call happened.

It landed on me.

I assume it was 30 seconds of silence.

Yeah.

Yeah, absolutely.

But I felt like I had behind the scenes info when watching.

It was nice.

It was an exciting watch.

Great video.

I'm excited to watch the pineapple.

Oh, have you not seen it yet?

Not yet.

No, I saw you dropped it in in the evening last night.

I dropped it in.

And there's a

for those who've seen it or were about to watch it, there are moments where people just start laughing at something that's happening off screen.

And I assume that was me just bending over to try and fart.

We get actually get one in the video towards the end.

Yes, that's exactly that's exactly what that is.

It is, it's very funny.

It's, it happened a couple of times.

It's very funny every time.

There's also a moment I left in that I don't think is clear.

This was kind of just an in-joke, but Eric constantly bitches about Nick's ability to film the action.

He's apparently always filming something else.

So I spent a lot of that video just filming the complete opposite thing.

And at one point, Eric's opening the fridge and saying, look at that.

And I'm like filming the fridge door and I'm filming all the other stuff in the fridge.

And Eric gets bad.

It's a real.

But it's not clear.

That's what I'm doing.

So that was what I was doing in that moment.

Yeah, he has to cover up his inability to be able to to film and be like, it was actually a bit.

What I was doing was like a funny bit.

If you thought that it was filmed that, it was actually funny and you should like it.

The bit with the fridge was a, was a bit.

The bit where I was actually filming the wrong thing while Jeff was eating was totally real.

You see, it's easy to do.

My wife was so excited that Call Barbara was one of the things on the wheel, like later.

She's like, oh my God, that's awesome.

And all of the comments are, none of them are about my small wife.

All of them are about, oh, my God, Bimmy Dunks coming into regulation.

He's like, you morons.

That's great.

This is a good episode.

This is a really good episode.

Yeah, I'd put this up there at like eight.

Feel good about like.

Yeah.

I want to.

If we do go and onion out the car,

you onioned your car out with two meals, right?

A hot dog and a hamburger meal, yeah.

And they both had onions?

Yeah, we could make it worse if we four four of them.

So we could like quad up the onion or double it from what you had?

We can absolutely do that, yeah.

Interesting.

Yeah, well, if it's not one for tomorrow, I think we should try that soon.

If we can't do it tomorrow, and I'm going to guess we can't, let's do it next week.

Let's just put it on the calendar sometime next week.

We can schedule it Monday and

make sure we do it.

Onion.

There you go.

Onion?

Onion chant?

Oh, all right.

Well, that's probably a a pretty good place to stop then.

It's real strong ending, guys.

Felt the fucking energy just go.

That was like watching Gavin after he's had C-pap all night, where it's just a fart that doesn't come.

It just never...

Geez, man.

Are you still?

So are you still C-papping?

Yeah.

Have you adjusted so you're not being filled with air like a balloon?

Well, I need to find the sweet spot still.

Like, I could turn it down, but then

I just have apnea through the machine.

Like, it's not powerful enough

So I need to have it so it opens my nose but not my throat Okay,

okay, and sometimes if I get it if it's like just too weak my my nose like blows open and closed like a like a door in the wind.

It's like

I'll be dreaming about something and then suddenly I just hear like

and it's just my nose flap

what a fucking problem nobody else has

i'm already i'm already a massive disadvantage because i i everything

everything in that industry comes in like small medium large and it's obviously the large doesn't work i need to go online and find their secret menu option of extra large for my nose.

Otherwise, nothing, nothing like my nose, nothing seals in.

It's just this gapy nostrils that can't close around anything.

It's a nightmare.

I might be the worst CPAP user.

Completely impossible.

We could all have a go on it, though.

I'll buy everyone a fresh attachment.

Okay, in that case, yeah.

And see if it fills you with air.

Maybe you should connect the CPAP to your ass and blow it out the other way.

I burp all day long.

Well,

don't forget, this Friday, it's Gerpltine's Day at noon central time.

We're going to be live on Twitch, twitch.tv slash the regulation pod, just before noon to celebrate the release of the Gerplers, the Kuzlers, the two signs, and the reprint of the shirt.

And

you can celebrate by going to regulationstore.com, right?

Regulationstore.store.

Was that the other one?

Yeah.

I'm still not convinced I ever had Jeff.sucks.

It was someone else.

Oh, was it someone else?

It had to have been.

It was you.

It happened in the meeting.

I love when Nick swoops in like this.

Nick piped in from the background.

Not even verified info.

Yeah.

It happens a lot.

It happens a lot in 100% Eight, where he'll just go, yeah.

And then you don't know what he's talking about.

He said it's mostly verified.

What percent percent certain are you, Nick?

I am.

75% certainly.

Yeah, his number

went down.

Oh, it did.

Was that 90 when I started this?

Also, pretty wild that at the mind table, Nick was like as close as everyone else.

Surely Nick should be sat slightly further back from the mind table.

He's in an island of his own.

He's the furthest away from the table from everybody else.

He did say

because they're the monkey mask.

No, but he was the same distance from Jeff as Jeff from the table.

Well, in the way you drew it.

Yeah, in your drawing.

No, it's not about the table.

It's about where we are at the table.

What?

This is

so.

Dude, we were wrapping up.

We were wrapping up.

We were about to put this episode to bed.

It was going to be done like three minutes ago.

I don't want to go anywhere.

What the fuck are you talking about, Andrew?

Did you draw the correct mind table then?

I'll put it together, but like, it's, it's, I mean, we we were there.

Sorry, man.

We don't, sorry, we don't want to tax you too hard, man.

We don't

dude.

I really apologize for asking for clarification.

Some people drew their own great ones.

It was just

someone with headphones and then just us floating around.

I'm such a big fan of that one.

I think this is so

great.

It's so funny.

I think these mind tables are so good.

Yeah, if Andrew could draw the accurate mind table and as well put in the corner that I'm backed into.

He's going to draw.

Well, everyone has to be sitting at the mind table.

That's first of all.

Everyone has to be at the table.

Okay.

So, just give me a sec.

Okay.

I'm making a drawable surface.

No, no, you're.

Oh, my God.

What does that mean?

He's turning some paper, some trash into paper, or he just took a screenshot or an image that he's drawing all over, like a JPEG.

Yeah, I used to use it as Squinkles wrapper.

No, no, he's, it's, it's a jpeg of like a receipt that he's drawing on the bottom of in like paint

do a jpeg well he's preparing that did everybody have their homework ready yeah

what

what

we had homework from the last episode i have squinkles squinkles andrew mentioned it yesterday and so i went and listened to the episode and he was right we had homework oh what was it Well, I don't want to, I just wanted to see if everybody had it ready so we could dive into it after.

I want to find about

find out about this mind table first, uh, let me see if I've done my homework.

What could be homework around here?

I don't know, look on your floor where all your important things are kept.

I don't know, I was mostly just trying to create a layer of unease while we're waiting for Andrew to.

No, yeah, you did it.

Yeah, yeah, no, you nailed it, buddy.

I really appreciate that.

Thank you.

Okay, I got it.

Did it?

Okay, okay.

I'm excited.

Let's see it.

Download photo.

Save as JFIF.

Save as a Jiffy Fifth.

Okay, here we go.

Here's the table.

Now we all have to be sitting at the table.

You're already.

It does not say

it does not say who's who.

No.

You're so stupid.

You said it was a square.

And then you said that Jeff's at the head.

Firstly, how could Jeff be at the head of a square?

And secondly, that's not a square, you idiot.

Oh, one sec.

Yeah, let me go back into the lab here.

That's a good point.

Hell yeah.

And what's that bit at the bottom?

There's like a black line?

That was the thing that I drew over.

I missed a little part of it.

You know, you can like go file new and you don't have to rub out what you've already drawn in paint.

Okay, well, this table's a little wonky because I'm trying to speed through it.

It's a tool for drawing a square.

There we go.

Okay, here we go.

This is a speed draw version of it.

Where did that photo come from?

I don't even know what that was that just popped up on my screen.

Here we go.

Sounds like porn.

No, it was like a bunch of drawings,

which I guess still could be porn, but it wasn't porn.

Speed thing.

So the square is not the best square.

Is that the Windows 95 logo?

Says you can clearly see Nick's at the top the furthest away from all of us.

But he's he's still at the table.

You can clearly see that's Nick, Gavin.

What don't you understand?

This is you coming in being like, this is how it actually is, and it's so much worse than mine.

You threw it at me at the last second of this recording.

That's fine.

I did do that.

I did drop you in it, but that is a disgrace.

Yeah, I'm not saying it's my best work.

I never claim that.

Why is it different from your other drawing?

Because he wanted a square.

But the sides are different.

Yeah, you always flip.

Also, why is it flipped now?

Yeah.

So who's at the top?

Who's at the bottom?

Bottom is Jeff.

I thought I was at the head.

How can the head be the bottom?

I thought I was at the table.

Why am I so far?

How do you determine what the top of the table is?

Andrew, on the first drawing, there are two people on the left.

On the second drawing, there are two people on the right.

So what is the top to you?

That's a good point.

I guess.

Yeah, I would.

Yeah.

You know what?

To say my drawing was completely wrong based on his instructions and then follow up with this is how it is and then draw two completely different things is absolutely unbelievable.

I was just thinking about because we're looking at it from a top-down angle.

If I walk into your room, I don't know what the head of the table is.

How do we know where the head is?

You are the one telling us that someone is at the head.

No, I'm just curious.

I'm asking you in this picture, where is the head of the table?

Where is the he in your mind?

You determine where the head is.

Well, it's at the bottom.

It's at the bottom.

Okay, the head is the bottom in your mind.

Yes.

But that was just more of a general question because when you say the head of the table, you think of the top because the head is on the top.

But how do you determine the top?

Like the surface of the table.

Who is you in the situation where you're explaining this to us?

Is you us, or is you you?

Thanks for listening to the regulation podcast.

Like and subscribe.

Questions that I have before.

We were going to end like five.

We'll continue.

This is absolutely crazy.

We are going to dive straight into mind table in episode 41.

We are not done with this.

I was hoping to have something that we could recreate in real life with a real square table.

And I have like balloon people to represent it.

I would have no idea.

It's because you would put two people on one side and they would be on the wrong side.

Maybe?

They would have to be on both sides simultaneously, I guess.

Yes.

Yeah.

Does anyone have an actual answer to that?

How do you know where the head of the table is on a real table?

It's the end.

It's like a long erectangular table.

There's the two ends on it.

So there are two heads?

Yes.

That's stupid.

I assume there'd only be one head.

Maybe the head is like opposite the door you came in.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

I was just curious if we I didn't know that.

Well, I don't know.

I've always heard the expression like, oh, they're sitting at the head of the table.

At a round or square table, the head seat is wherever the host wants to sit, according to Google.

Oh, wow.

This is like visual because Jeff's the host.

Right.

So, Andrew is saying that you've just heard it as an expression, but you don't know what it is.

I always assumed it was the person who was sitting at the end.

I feel like in mob movies, even if you think they were sitting at the end, how does a square have an end?

Hey, they're all ends.

How does a square have an end?

Well, there you go.

Another awesome episode of the Regulation Podcast.

This has been episode 40.

I want to say this puts us somewhere around

250 episodes or something.

My slider is at 9.4.

I really felt that this episode.

It's really high.

The last probably 10 minutes of this really put it over the top for me.

I'll be honest, I took it down a little bit with that low energy ending that we were doing, and then it totally rebounded.

Kudos to Andrew and his mind table.

I cannot wait to sit at it again next week.

With all of you, when we introduce to the world, our gift to the universe, episode 41 of the Regulation Podcast, it'll be in a post-Gerbaltines world.

I can only imagine that the sun shines a little bit brighter, the sky's a little bit bluer.

The plants and the trees are a little bit greener and the air is a little bit crisper in a post-Gerpeltines Times world.

I can't wait to see you there.

Bye-bye, everybody.

Love you, bye.

Bye.

Bye-bye.