Graveyard Season // Goof World Key to the Goof [73]

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Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Regulation Podcast.

This is episode 73.

My name is Jeff Ramsey.

With me, as always, Andrew Panton, Gavin Free, Eric Badur, Nick Schwartz, Why the Laughter?

You came out.

It cut out so early.

It didn't, It didn't go.

It just came out as, oh.

I forget that it cuts out sometimes.

Such a shame for you, but not for the audience.

They get to hear my full-throated introduction.

It is October 1st, the day that this comes out, I believe, Eric was saying.

Yeah, welcome to October 1st, the month of Jeff's full throat.

Yeah, I'm saying, I give you a full-throated introduction.

It clips for you, idiots, but the audience doesn't hear that because it's recorded.

it's graveyard season

avoid the graveyards it's more likely that bad things will happen it's graveyard season

if you are thinking about taking a stroll past a graveyard maybe reconsider if you're visiting a loved one don't imagine if graveyards were like uh signing up like enrolling for health care and you could only do it one month of the year and everyone just had to pile their dead in on the same month oh man that would suck It would suck for the people that died in November.

I actually don't know how a graveyard works.

Like, hang on.

Let me...

That was a sentence.

That made me sound like Andrew.

So I don't know.

Yeah, I said it and then immediately went in a minute.

No, no, no.

So say, let's say tragedy, Nick dies, and we are tasked with handling his body.

Tragedy has struck the regulation podcast.

And 100% eat.

And I don't know what I'm doing for work.

So we are tasked with handling the body of Nick.

What?

Do we have to like...

Do we like call a graveyard?

Here's the.

Well, no, the first thing.

Okay.

Nick.

You want to get buried or cremated?

How you feeling today?

Cremated.

Well, fucking, okay.

Well, we can't bury him.

He's ruined it.

What do you want us to do with your ashes?

Some people like to be cremated and then put into like a vault.

Or do you want to be on the mantle at home?

Or do you want to be buried as ashes?

I want to be in a tree.

He wants to be sprinkled in a pizza parking lot or something.

Okay, well,

we're still burying him.

Nick, you're dead.

You don't know.

I'm sorry.

We just pretend we didn't.

So we're burying him.

I think this group is more prepared than most with the beanhole prep.

I think even if we didn't call anybody.

So, my question of what do you don't know how a graveyard works is us digging a hole for him?

I'm saying that worst case scenario, I think we're covered.

We're digging a nick hole.

I've buried a lot of people in 50 years.

I could get it done.

It's not complicated.

It's easy to bury somebody.

It's annoying and it takes a little bit of time, but it's just phone calls and deposits.

Do you call the graveyard?

That's what I'm asking.

Yes, you call.

Yeah, you call the graveyard.

Typically, when somebody dies, if it's not that If they're old enough, they've already purchased a grave where they want to die and it's sitting there waiting for them.

But if somebody dies unexpectedly like this, then you would call a couple of graveyards and whichever one you're interested in, find out how much a plot of land is, buy that plot of land, and then stick the motherfucker in the ground.

It's not hard.

It's just sad.

As you know, the first headstone in every graveyard is the phone number of the graveyard.

There's not an actual body there.

It's just the phone number on a headstone.

Even before phones, that's crazy.

In the wild west, here's a bunch of numbers on a graveyard.

This will make sense in 150 years.

Nick, are you more insulted that we're burying your ashes at the bottom of a bean hole?

Or are you more insulted that Andrew definitely won't come to your funeral?

Oh, yeah, no, I won't be there.

Yeah, I was going to say, definitely Andrew not being there.

But Dilbot might be.

Could we use Nick to cook the beans?

Like, can he go in the bean hole?

Is that how we can we make the ashes?

That's how we make him ashes, right?

We throw his body in a hole.

We douse it with gasoline.

We light it on fire.

We lower the beans into it until he's like charcoal.

Yeah, yeah, we put the beans in first and then put Nick on top of the beans, probably.

Oh, on top of it, well, then we have to dig through Nick, don't we?

Yeah, we're gonna have to dig through Nick, but he'll just be he's just gonna be charcoal.

But can we break him and like sort of do like a hold him really hard and then like he encompasses the whole bean pot?

He's not gonna give a shit what we do with him.

You can bend him in whatever way you want to to fit him in that hole.

Oh, the gasoline is going to take care of it.

This is good.

So, yeah, so you call the graveyard.

Jeff, Jeff, do you have a plot of land?

You got a grave somewhere?

No, I'm not going to be buried in the ground.

I'll be cremated.

In which case, it doesn't really matter.

I have a plot of land, but just to flex on people to say that I own land, you're a landowner.

I'm a landowner.

I own a six-foot by three-foot square land or plot of land.

Let me tell you, real hard to sell on a real estate website.

Not a lot of action.

Can I make a request?

Yeah, go ahead.

Can I be buried at Andrew's nearest graveyard to see if you'll come to that one?

Oh, that is such a good idea, Gavin.

Oh, my God.

You make it the most convenient for him to visit you and see how long it takes until he visits you.

This is incredible.

We'll see.

Gavin won't.

How

Andrew thought?

Thoughts about,

I mean, there's a lot of questions you stressed.

My approval of the idea, how long it would take for me to visit you.

What thoughts are you looking for?

Oh,

would you go?

Yeah, I'd go.

Okay.

I'd definitely go.

What's your range?

Because I think once you said you wouldn't want to travel further than

a mile to do something you wanted or was it something like that?

No, I'd want to visit your tombstone.

I'd hang out.

I'd say I'd just stand there and I'd go, hey, I knew this guy.

This guy is a pretty good guy.

Anybody want to take a picture with me and this guy's gravestone?

Hey, have you heard of Slow-Mo guys?

Wonder how we got started.

So are you saying you wouldn't go to the funeral?

You would just visit me later.

I'd be more inclined to visit you later than go to the funeral.

Okay.

Interesting.

I don't think there's any value to me at anyone's funeral.

Well, it makes me look more popular if there's more people there.

Could I just send somebody in my place?

Ooh.

I think that you sending a proxy to Gavin's funeral makes Gavin seem less popular than ever.

Well,

what if everyone sends a proxy?

Oh, that's what I'm talking about.

And then we can see.

Yeah, we can see who sends the best proxy.

Yeah, what about this?

If I show up as Dilbot,

is that okay?

Is that a proxy?

I just assumed you were planning on showing up as Dilbot already.

I didn't know that.

No, I just considered it right now.

Gavin, is your funeral held in a place that has free Wi-Fi?

Maybe I could get my funeral sponsored by Verizon or something.

Maybe they could put up a hotspot.

You're not going to be using a bunch of your data.

So can just right before you die, can you turn on a hotspot?

And then

Andrew can just hotspot to your phone.

Like, it should be okay.

I'm not going to worry about the bill.

Do you also try to die at the beginning of the billing cycle so we have a good three weeks of Wi-Fi

before your bill's late?

Here's my promise.

I will go as far as I can from the office Wi-Fi.

Wherever I end up is wherever I end up.

I'll lose control eventually, but I will attempt the trek.

So, like, 20 feet out the front door.

Yeah.

Let me throw this to you guys.

We recently, as has been discussed, we recently took a trip to the center of the Regulation Universe, Deputy Indiana, right?

Yeah.

We were there.

Video came out.

A lot of land.

Not a lot of people.

Not a lot of stuff being done with that land.

I can't imagine it would be too hard to buy a little plot of land and create our own regulation graveyard.

And then we could all be buried together in the regulation graveyard.

Maybe we could even put it behind that church we could buy.

Ooh.

Interesting.

Why don't we just

make our own graves?

And then we could put up tombstones of whoever we want to.

They don't even have to be buried there.

We can have our own graveyard full of tombstones that we want.

And then we can be thrown into the mix as well.

Can you just start a cemetery?

I don't see why not.

If it's attached to a church, I would think that there might already be one there.

Oh, yeah, maybe.

We could dig up a couple people and make room for a little bit more.

We could just take it over.

You know how it was deemed slightly insensitive to play

the tombstone game in a real game.

Yeah, graveyard bingo.

What if we open the first gamer graveyard where everyone buried there

gives their consent for games to be played in the graveyard?

That would work.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We call it the game yard.

Game yard.

It's us.

It's Mr.

Beast.

It's I show speed.

We get them all.

You guys come on to the game yard and play bingo.

I like this idea.

And it further cements deputy as the center of our universe when we're all dead there together at the same time.

I accidentally did a collab with Isho Speed.

Yeah?

Oh, the cheese, the cheese thing.

He was at the cheese.

Yeah, I was filming cheese rolling and he was like rolling through the frame at one point.

Oh, wow, really?

I didn't know.

Can I ask you guys an ignorant old man question?

Yeah.

Who's Isho Speed?

I saw he was, I opened up YouTube the other day to watch a card break and I saw that he was traveling across the US sleeping in like a RV or something.

And I thought, that's not cheap.

This guy must be pretty famous.

but I don't know who he is or what he's like.

I get it that he's probably a YouTuber, but like, what's his angle?

Is he fast?

Is that why his name is ISO speed?

Okay, he races people.

I would say that's secondary to his popularity.

Is he just like a personality then?

He's just a personality.

He's just a Twitch personality guy.

I'm just, oh, does he play games?

Is he like a gamer?

Uh, sometimes, yeah.

Uh,

he he shows up sort of everywhere that you didn't think he was gonna be, like, uh, like Bill Murray?

He's a little bit like Bill Murray.

He, uh,

sometimes he just shows up in WWE and gets thrown around.

And it's like, oh, okay, I guess that's just what he's doing here.

Uh,

I think he's just, I think he's a personality who finds his way into stuff like the inside of a prime bottle.

And then I think he's just friends with Logan Paul.

I think that's just his thing, you know?

Yeah, yeah.

The only thing I've seen recently is that I guess he was trying to use a fire hose, but it threw him on the ground and then he stormed off.

I'm just so out of the loop at this point.

I mean, that's not happily serious.

You're not missing that long.

I shouldn't be, at my age, I shouldn't be in the loop.

It would be weird if I was.

You're good.

You should have a graveyard plot, not know who I show speed is.

Yeah, I should be having conversations about how we buy a graveyard together, not about how I take a road trip with Isho Speed.

You think I show Speed's tombstone would be on like a treadmill type thing that went back and forth?

He still shows speed

even from beyond the grave.

A moving tombstone.

I like your idea a lot, Jeff.

I think a game cemetery.

Yeah.

And then you like, if you sign up.

You sign up.

Let's call it the...

They're all Gavin's ideas at the end of the day, but I was going to say, we'll just call it a regulation idea.

But you're right to just.

Give Gavin all the credit.

Always.

Yeah, something to think about.

Something to think about.

We can get some cheap land in Deputy, cut some some of that corn down, throw some tombstone.

We could put a Zimmer tombstone there.

We could, you know, eventually put us there.

It'd be a lot of fun.

All our dogs and animals when they die could go there.

Andrew's fake cats could go there someday, maybe.

The entire community is cats.

It made me so happy when we were doing the Borderlands stream.

There's a cat that Eric can summon, and I just said, This is my cat, and nobody knows what that means outside of that.

Ridiculous.

Ridiculous.

Creepy legs.

So dumb.

Um,

I like the idea a lot.

I think uh,

some tombstones, I think the people of deputy want more people to visit there.

If I've learned anything from your trek to deputy, it is that

uh,

we can talk about something else,

okay.

Starting a cemetery is a very complex, lengthy, and expensive process due to strict regulations,

significant financial requirements, and the difficulty of finding suitable land.

So, we're going to have to find an existing graveyard and buy it.

We can do that.

That's way easier.

We, as a podcast, are giving up at the first sign of regulations.

No, I'm not saying we're giving up.

I'm saying we need to alter.

We need to find that we need to find an existing graveyard in Deputy and buy that.

I think that'd be easier.

Okay.

All right, we can do it.

I mean,

if we just not do all that and open a graveyard, who's going to come at us?

Oh, fuck.

The overall expense ranges from $100,000 to $2 million, depending on land and development.

Here's what we'll do, though.

Here's what we'll do.

Here's how we'll raise the money.

We'll fill the graveyard with benches, and then audience members can buy plaques on the benches, and then we can raise revenue that way.

Would you be willing to take pre-orders, Jeff?

Is this the one scenario where pre-orders would be okay if we pre-sold tombstones or graveyard spots?

I mean, that's kind of the business model for gravy.

I think we'd have to.

Yeah.

My grandparents pre-ordered their gravestones like 30 years before they died.

Well, do you have to pay rent for all the years you don't die?

No, I think you just

think it's probably better to buy it sooner than later because you get it cheaper and you get locked in at that rent-controlled price.

I know that it's going to be hard for me to outdo your 50th birthday present, Jeff.

But would you feel insulted by a 51st birthday present being a hole in the ground?

A hole in the ground?

No, I would be really honored if you cared enough about me to choose where I live for eternity.

That'd mean a lot.

That's such a disturbing gift for someone potentially with half their life left.

Potentially.

Fucking fingers crossed, baby.

You know what?

Where we could get really cheap, non-regulated cemetery land is Goof World.

Goof World, tons of room.

We got space for you.

And something we can talk about, because the content has come out related to it we had we had some keys to the city we had some discussions about

keys

that we could possibly acquire from the larry king estate yeah if you have not listened to regulation takes two

you should listen to it we try not to have actual regulation canon outside of regulation episodes but sometimes it does an idea will start there so make sure you listen to regulation takes 2 sometimes the idea is just good enough that we can't stop it in the moment.

We have to let it play out.

It was a discussion about keys to the city and a belief that keys to the city should actually be able to work within that city.

You should be able to open any door.

I saw somebody bring up the potential of locking any door you want.

That's also funny.

But just the idea that they work for one year at least.

So there's like some weight to it.

And at the time, there was an upcoming auction for Larry King's Estate, which featured five of his keys to the city.

And we became fixated on these keys we got to have these keys we got to be able to open any door in san francisco and so we entered the auction and we thankfully were able to secure the keys they went very very cheap all things considered i also got a few other bonus items that i assume there will be a big unboxing at some point during our break show i i have an update on that actually i have an update So I got an email, the first email I have received from the company, by the way,

late last week or early, yeah, I think early last week that said, Hey, if you don't coordinate shipping with us, you're fucked.

You take this stuff.

We're sick of telling you this.

And I had never received any communication from these people at any point.

So I went on to their website and immediately ordered the

selected the shipping option.

And once again, shipping continues to cost about as much as the items.

Wild.

But the keys to the city, I believe it is Beverly Hills, cincinnati san francisco and

what was the last city i don't remember we ended up with five we have five keys to the city maybe it was miami i can't remember uh anyway

they i selected ground shipping and we should we'll have them by the time of this recording but they they've been in the uh they've been shipping uh for a couple days now hello we should we should have them very soon So you're going to have those.

I also got a few mystery lots that were,

I think the cheapest lot available, I secured.

I'm excited to see you guys unbox that.

And can I ask a question?

Yeah, of course.

How cheap is the cheapest lot?

I think it was $80.

Okay.

And when you say mystery lot, is it a mystery to us or a mystery to you?

Mystery to you guys.

I know you know what it is.

I've looked at, yeah.

Because that is

a fucking angle.

And maybe when I die, if they do an estate sale, it's got to be all blind box estate sale.

Like everybody pays, you pay 75 bucks and you get a plastic bag full of some of my shit, but you don't get to pick what it is.

And then we just clear the house out that way.

I think there's a, that's a, people should look into that.

That's a great idea.

I think there's something hilariously morbid about a TikTok blind box laboo boo style opening of clicking on the box and showing all the mystery stuff they could get.

Bought a Jeff box.

Let's see what we got.

Looks like we had some of his old underwear.

It looks like a piece of art his daughter made for him.

Appears to be an ashtray tap tap tap tap tap i do i do want his sunglasses i don't want his socks

i got his framed army dd 214 that sucks oh man it's only all left socks

that is a great idea that would be very funny but in the talking of keys because you have that lot coming i have decided that goof world needs to hand out a key by the end of this year okay i'm into this i want to declare everybody's in the running to become a key of goof world recipient.

Like in the community or just us?

You, you guys, anybody.

I'm going to put it out there for anyone can be a recipient.

It's out there.

So think about it.

So you're going to manufacture a physical goof world key, right?

Yeah, I believe that's the plan.

Yeah, I'm going to make an actual key.

And there will be a recipient.

We'll do it at the last podcast of this year.

Okay.

I love this this.

What do you call it?

Like, it's like goof world's key to the city, keys to the goof.

Okay,

key to the goose.

It works for one year.

Do you still have all those keys that you had for that safe gag that you didn't do?

Oh, yeah, I still have that in my, yeah.

Fuck.

That thing's heavy.

And shipping has only increased in price.

Fuck.

You know how we're planning on

getting the keys engraved?

So it says, like, present the city of San Francisco presents this key to larry king and regulation podcast yes that which is maybe the funniest bit we've ever come up with to me personally uh i was just thinking about it doesn't it's not as funny if we do it at a graveyard no like in loving memory of aunt you know samantha and regulation podcast yeah

doesn't play this doesn't work it's it's weird so that graveyards are where comedy goes to die sometimes i think it's unfortunate we're gonna our game graveyard our game yard is gonna be a lot more irreverent than this good it should be i think it's something specific to larry king i think larry king is just a funny individual there's an aura of it makes it fun and larry king very was very seriously considered himself to be a comedian and a very funny dude and would write jokes and do stand-up and in the like the last like 10 or 15 years of his life was really into the idea that he was funny so i think he would above all else would understand and get the bit he made me laugh once when you asked Seinfeld if Seinfeld got cast.

So everybody, just be aware.

Keys to the goof.

It's coming.

All right.

I love this.

You can go up and down.

So, what happens?

Do you physically send them a key?

Do they have to send it back at the end of the year, or do they keep that?

And then we make a new key the next year?

I think it's a new key every year.

Some key in the lock.

And I'll send it to the person who receives it.

Is it going to be comically large?

No.

Probably not.

Well, it depends.

You know what?

Actually, I can't say that.

I don't know how I'm going to make this key yet.

So it could be.

If I have to personally make it, it's not going to be comically large.

Okay.

If I can order it from somewhere, it probably will be comically large.

If it's not an inconvenience for me personally and just for the person receiving it, it will be comically large.

If you want this key by the end of the year, you better start looking now.

We're recording this on September 16th.

And as of today, like stuff we're ordering for the store, we're not going to get till like mid-December.

We're really running out of time.

Shit.

I'll lock in.

Yeah.

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On October 17th, I'm an angel.

See the wings?

Don't miss the new comedy Good Fortune, starring Seth Rogan, Aziz Ansari, and Kiana Reeves.

Critics Rave, he's having sent.

Kinda.

You were very unhelpful.

Good fortune, directed by Aziz Ansari.

The um, the video came out, which was the road trip to Deputy, which people are really liking so far.

I'm quite happy that many people were fooled by the billboard, briefly.

I think depending on the size of the screen you're watching on, it looks more or less convincing.

Real convincing on a phone.

Real convincing on a phone.

But what I didn't expect was how many people were convinced that Jeff was playing the piano.

Really?

That's so funny.

Have you seen the video, Andrew?

I have.

It's fantastic.

Do you want to see the tune that Jeff actually played on the piano?

I would love to have it.

Oh, awesome.

Fantastic.

I put it in the slide.

The beginning sounds like a song.

Yeah, I can't tell the difference between that and the version that

sounds no different at all.

Nailed it, Jeff.

I was the physical performance of a person that looks like they're playing piano.

And I fucking sold it with that music.

I sold it perfectly.

Yeah.

And I also blown away that the ball from that video, which was under the sign, was retrieved within like five hours of posting the video.

Yeah, super, super.

By someone who just happened to be like coming back through that area after doing a job somewhere.

I thought there was such a good chance that that thing was going to get waterlogged from a rain or from a bunch of humidity and it was just going to be goopy or it was going to get chopped to bits by a lawnmower.

But yeah, I mean, it's pretty,

it's pretty goopy.

It got a little goopy.

If it had been there much longer, it would have been fucked.

But yeah, yeah.

That's uh, but congratulations.

Uh, we were doing the break show and Phallas O'Mallis came in the chat and said, hey, I have it.

And it was like, All right, you better post it because

you can't just say that.

And then they posted it and everyone went crazy, which also led to so there were so many people that went to Deputy to find this ball.

Yeah, man.

So many people were posting.

Like, I'm two hours away.

I'm on my way right now.

And it was, it was pretty crazy.

Deputy's gotta hate us already.

Yeah.

I mean, they, they definitely hated us when we were there.

We should rent one of the storage units and have a meetup in it.

I think we'd get kicked out of the town.

I think deputy dog would come pick us out.

I don't think

it says no meetups when you rent the storage unit.

It's scary.

I don't think you can just meet up in a storage unit.

Dude, especially those storage units, let's be honest, they look like they might be meth labs.

Yeah, definitely.

Yeah, those are

rough.

They're doing some pretty brisk business there.

I don't know what we want to get in their way.

But now that we're done, we did it.

Face off season one finally officially done.

In the books.

We can move on to face-off season two.

Hell yeah.

I can't wait.

Andrew's been really putting it together, making things happen.

I'm really, really, really excited.

Yeah, we just got to lock in the format.

Yeah, people were asking me about it in the stream this morning, and I told them I think that all barriers are done.

I think we filmed all the intros, everybody has their teams.

Andrew made all the arenas and the logos and everything.

So we're just ready to shoot, right?

Yeah, we just have to lock in how we want to have it come out.

Right.

Once we lock in format, we're good to go.

Easy peasy.

I'm really excited.

Easy, peasy.

Um,

that was a a great video.

You guys going to deputy.

Really enjoyed it.

I had so much fun on that trip.

And it was.

It should.

A lot of people are like, you should release the whole 16 hours.

But we didn't.

I used like most of the footage I took.

I just took little snippets every few hours and then obviously filmed in the mall on that.

Gavin somehow managed to capture almost every single funny thing that happened.

in that entire trip.

Like there's nothing on the editing room floor or there's nothing that got missed really.

I would say the only only thing that got missed that was really funny was when

Jeff was trying to text Emily using

voice to text.

And we all kept chiming in to try and get the text to read the most insane thing.

And for some reason, I just was so into that that I wasn't filming it.

But even that, I think every funny thing was there.

It immediately led to a phone call so Jeff could explain what was going on.

So that was fun.

The other funny moment that didn't get caught that may have only been funny to me, but it was a miserable kind of funny was we found this little basement bar restaurant to eat dinner at.

I was about to bring up the same fucking thing.

Oh my God.

This was my favorite too.

It was weird, man.

You go into an office complex and then there's like a waiting room for a doctor's office and you go down an elevator and then you're in some little like gothy bar.

It was cute.

It was fun and the food was good.

But we, it's real small and there's like a little stage and then just a little eating area and we went and we just picked a chair.

Place is just about empty.

There's like two people sitting at the bar and one couple on the other side of the restaurant bar.

There's maybe it's maybe like a 20 top, this whole place.

Like it's real small.

We sit down.

Somebody comes over and hands us menus.

We look at the menus and we go, I'm like, this is going to be a good night.

And the second I think that, some guy walks out onto the stage, which we realize is I could touch the stage with my left hand from the table,

sits down in front of a microphone with an acoustic guitar and goes, My name's Dickhead.

I'm about to play for the music for you for the next three hours.

Three hours.

Three hours.

Three

hours.

Unbelievable.

He played music for the entire time we were there to my left ear and Eric's right ear because we were four feet away from him

and pretty much the only people in there.

And it became impossible to talk or have a conversation.

He also was doing chat with people across the room as well, like over our our heads.

Like he knew people as well.

Incredible.

I have a new rule for Goof World.

I wanted to throw out there.

I figured out how the law works in Goof World.

Regulations, I guess specifically.

We're doing a reverse method in Goof World.

It's going to be me as the current mayor of Goof World.

I'm going to institute things.

to the people and then at the end of the year they can vote if they want to remove it or not.

But they have no say in the rule being applied.

What's that the reverse of?

I think so.

Isn't there typically a vote, or I guess you're voting on policy, right?

You're voting that you're assuming.

Oh, I see, like, you're bringing it.

Okay.

I thought you were saying, like, the Grouflot starts off with everything being illegal, and then you're not going to go.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's the institute, and they have no say in this process.

First rule: everything

is

on a pound scale for size

a pound scale So I ordered a quarter pounder last night and I enjoy that I like that I like that form of measurement.

So no stones no stones Okay, I just know but everything everything is applied to it.

So no bullshit small medium or large.

It's all related to how much a pound is of a pound of cappuccino, please.

Exactly.

One tenth of a pound of cappuccino.

So no grams.

No grams.

Get grams out of here.

Do we have to call it?

No grams?

Can we use, do we have to call it insta-pound if we use the app?

Sure.

Okay.

Why not?

Dumb joke.

Christmas cracker joke that one.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

So wait, you're starting a brand new world in 2025 and you're not going metric?

No, we're going pound.

I think the pound, I know what a pound is.

When I read quarter pound or beef, I know what what that means.

Okay.

I get it.

Small, medium, large means nothing.

There's no, there's no scientific, there's no, it could be anything.

Because it applies to multiple mediums.

Like, you don't order liquid by the pound.

You can.

You don't wear a shirt by the pound.

You do if you go to a certain Goodwill's.

How heavy is a gallon of water?

A kilogram of water is a liter, right?

I think that's all I know.

It's four liters.

Oh,

is it?

I'm just imagining being arrested for having like six grams of weed in Goof World, and they're like, you're going to jail for.0132277 pounds of weed.

See,

if you display it like that, then I'm throwing that case out.

That's ridiculous.

I'm also voting on weed being legal in Goof World.

Yeah.

After the fact.

Yeah, I'm fine with that.

It's approved.

What about abortion?

Jesus Christ.

What are we doing?

I just thought it was a good opportunity to get some of Andrew's opinions out.

Yeah, it's all good.

Does Goof World occupy a physical space or is it more of a state of being?

Oh,

that's an interesting question.

Oh, like it said liminal area?

I think state of being, I don't think it's a, yeah, I don't think there's a literal place.

So like, whether we're in Nanaimo or Austin, we can all still be in goof world together as opposed to us having to go to a physical space like in Deputy or somewhere where

gotcha.

Gotcha.

I like that.

That makes total sense considering it started off with like the time zone, like everyone across the world sharing the goof world time zone.

I do think it's really funny to have on a chart the first three things approved in goof world.

One, everything's on a pound scale.

Two, weed is legal.

Three, abortions are fine.

Abortions are legal.

What a jump.

I already like goof world a lot.

And four, we're all in the same time.

Oh, you hate goof world because we're changing the clock every fucking year.

We're shifting.

We haven't locked that in yet.

You're going to be unhappy in goof world when 8 a.m.

becomes 3 a.m.

Yeah, you specifically are going to have issues with goof goof time.

Yeah, I mean, what are you going to do?

Like, what

the 9 a.m.

you've got now, what do you want that to be?

Ooh.

What am I feeling today?

What should 9 a.m.

This is terrible?

5 a.m., I guess.

Okay, so that would be 7 a.m.

here would be 9.

That's fine.

Yeah, see, he approves.

He gets it.

Gavin gets it now.

Can we call the law in Goof World the Glaw?

The goof law?

This approves.

Yeah.

Oh.

Oh, but that's a reference back to the little printing the glaw thing.

Yeah, do you have to print it every day?

Oh, that's interesting.

Because it goes back to our roots.

Print on the amendments from yesterday.

You know what?

You sold me, Jeff.

Approved.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I flip.

I'm a mayor that can be convinced.

I can be swayed.

I'm not locked in.

We've got to get you a little gavel.

What's a goof world mayoral term?

Hmm.

I think that's a really good question because you started this whole thing, Andrew, by saying as the current mayor of Goof World.

Yeah, there will have to be an election at some point, obviously, right?

But but if it's on, but we're on goof time, I imagine that we're like the day before the election, you're like, ooh, it's actually 2022, so we don't, we don't have the election anytime soon.

Oh, you could reset your term.

We went back in time four years, according to the goof calendar.

Yeah, I think maybe it's like every two years, there's a decision if we need an election or not,

and then we initiate an election if there is a vote, a majority vote.

Hang on, you have you have an election to see if you need to hold an election?

Yeah.

Well, no.

No, we don't have an election to hold.

We put out, hey, we feel an election this year every two years.

You're putting out feelers?

Yeah, we're putting out feelers.

Yeah, because people might be like, you know what?

He's doing a pretty good job.

They're doing a pretty good job as the mayor of Goof World.

They're fine.

We don't need to vote.

We're all happy.

And then if there's a re-election, then one's instituted.

You walk in.

Do you think you would ever get re-elected?

You know what?

I'd say so far, I'm doing a pretty good job.

I haven't heard any complaints from the residents of Goofworld.

I think this all started with complaints from Gavin.

This is crazy.

Yeah, but he's not a resident.

Well, I want to be.

I think we should definitely sell Goof World passports in the store, and then anyone can just decide.

I mean, would you allow citizens just to

come in themselves and become one, or do they need to go through like some sort of history test?

No, I think anyone can opt into Goof World citizenship.

Without an application?

Just buy it?

Yeah, I think they can acquire their way.

I mean, that's, isn't that how America works right now?

You can just buy your way in?

I'd think it's $5 million.

Yeah, well, it's a lot less for Goof World.

Five?

Significantly.

We're still figuring out pricing.

Okay, we're trying to set up a city here.

I just like the idea of an item in the store that comes with a small application that gets approved on tonight.

Yeah, I think it's open to anyone.

I think you can be kicked out of Goof World, obviously.

Oh, damn.

And is that sole discretion of the mayor?

Or

is there a vote?

You know what?

I'm trying to, I'm really deciding if I want this to be like a monarchy situation or

kind of handyness.

Democracy.

So you started as a mayor and now you're considering a monarchy situation?

Well, just in the sense of like, yeah, I'm ultimately making all the decisions.

It is,

I'm going to say it is a little bit intimidating to have a completely open

place

decided by people that can just opt in and do whatever they want.

However, that's sort of how the world works.

That's how democracy works.

Well, not everyone can live everywhere they want.

No, but if you're born, then you suddenly have a voice in this thing.

Like, you're automatically opt-in.

You're opted in.

There's less paperwork potentially than there is in joining.

You know, as a person who was born, I got to agree with that.

Hey, me too.

So, one of the requirements to be a goof world resident is you have to be born.

I think you have to exist, yeah.

Yeah.

If your parents are both goof world citizens, you're automatically in.

Oh,

that's interesting.

We need

to run for office.

You're not.

That's interesting.

You're not.

So goof world, it sounds like goofworld might not be for birthright citizenship.

Interesting.

I don't.

Hmm.

Does anybody see a world where these jokes continue and spiral out of control?

And somehow we look back and Mark the Frog is the mayor of Goof World, and we've lost complete entire control of our own creation.

We did the break show.

We did the break show, and we were like, like, all right, we're making all these coins because we lost a fucking coin.

Oh, no.

Oh, my God.

We're going to find out.

I dude, all of these coins.

Oh, what happened?

What happened?

We got the coin, the Ian's, Ian's an assholes coin.

And then Jeff decided that we're going to see how many we're going to do on a coin flip, but Gavin's there.

So the numbers are too high.

So the numbers they, no, shut up.

So the numbers you guys landed on was 2,500 for heads and 5,000 for tails.

And it landed on tails.

So now we're going to have 5,000 coins.

It landed on tails and mark the frog in the chat just went, I'm not going to buy one of those.

In my defense, I think that was Gavin's idea to flip the coin.

I don't know that it was mine.

You, you are so

Emily's idea to flip the coin, I think, after saying that it should be 10,000 or 1,000.

And then Emily and I did some negotiations and we shook hands on 2,500 or 5,000.

it seems it was, it was discussed.

So what are you going to do?

Either way, Jeff was, Jeff, Jeff is partly accountable for this.

Yeah.

Here's my thinking, though.

A coin is smaller than a clock.

That's, you know what, Gavin?

You're right.

That's

a lot cheaper to make.

Unless you're a goof world.

Get to know.

Anyway, we fucking that's one of the dumber things we've done professionally is flip a coin to determine how much of a product to buy with the numbers being so askew.

I was really hoping to print a thousand of these things in general, which is what I kept floating.

Let's make a thousand or two thousand, maybe, but you guys went out of control with the bidding.

We played Smash, though, to see who was in control of the company.

Yeah, but that's a that's just a paperwork, man.

That doesn't matter anywhere.

That's title only.

This is somebody's got to write a check for this.

And I said, Eric and I are somebody.

It's yeah.

I mean, the problem is, is I've seen this all the time with like

shoe resellers.

This is a big thing in that world.

So I don't, I don't feel like you, anybody made a wrong choice.

I think this is within play.

Interesting.

It seems reasonable.

Incumbent upon us to convince the audience that they need an Ian and an asshole coin to make decisions in their life in the worst fucking, I gotta have a Gerpler kind of way.

And we have between now and Christmas to do it, I guess, because that's, I think, when we'll get him.

I guess the problem here, though, is when I see this done in the shoe world, when they flip the coin, typically there's a winner, and nobody won here.

We have probably got way too many coins, and there's nobody that wants the coins, so nobody really won.

It's a complete loss.

It was just the loss of a coin flip.

The company that makes the coins won.

Oh, yeah.

The stakes were entirely wrong.

5,000 is a lot of coins.

I don't know if I've ever had 5,000 coins at one time.

That might be a record for me.

That'd be a shitload of coins.

How heavy is a coin?

Well, they were different weights.

Yeah, but

that's a point.

The regulation coin has some nice heft to it, but I couldn't tell you in goof world pounds of how much it is.

I'm sorry.

It's less than a pound.

It's maybe like a tenth of a pound.

Oh.

See, if I hear tenth of a pound for a coin, I'm buying 10 coins.

I want to have a pound of coins.

We should sell them in single.

Here's all right.

Here's what we're going to do.

We're going to sell individual coins and then we'll sell pound packs.

We'll figure out how many equals a pound and then we'll sell that as a bundle.

So you can buy one coin or you can buy a pound pack.

Or what if you could buy an inch of coins?

That does nothing for me.

Because here's the thing.

That inch of coins, it's going to get knocked over at some point.

It's not gonna stay in that inch position well i mean

an inch of food might be eaten at some point what difference does that make

yeah but with coins if i have a pound of coins then i just know i have a pound no matter what no matter where they are i have a pound yeah and with an inch i've got to be i could be like well i've missing

i've lost half an inch where are my other two coins Yeah, but you're going to lose like three coins and be like, how much of the inch do I have left?

I guess the same equates to pounds.

You know what?

It's just that I like pounds more than inches because I don't know what an inch is, but I know what a pound is.

That's fair.

Well, okay, can I make a request for Goof World?

What if we all come up with like a request for the laws of the land?

And I don't have mine ready.

Can we please use Celsius?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

That was assumed.

I didn't even consider putting that to a vote or having to tell the people of what that is.

It's just, yeah, I'm in Celsius.

Counter.

Is there a way that we can use Kelvin?

Yeah, I'd prefer to use Kelvin.

If I can't use Fahrenheit, I don't want to be able to use Celsius either.

I want to find a new

robot and move.

I think it should be neutral.

I think, yeah, I think Kelvin feels like a very neutral.

Like, what do you think the temperature is right now in Celsius for you guys?

Like, Andrew, like, what do you think?

It's 18 right now.

Okay, that's my guess.

Outside?

Outside.

No, yeah.

What?

Wait, what?

What a fucking.

I can't.

I don't even know where to go with that.

Wait, who's the idiot?

Me?

Yeah.

Tell me why.

When people ask what the fucking temperature is, they're not asking what the temperature in your office is.

They're asking what the temperature outside is.

All right, well, I mean, 18 could be the temperature inside too, so I was terrified.

What's the temperature today?

Well, inside.

Well, in my garage, it's slightly warmer than my living room.

I haven't checked upstairs yet, but it's closer to the sun, so probably a little warmer.

Well, it's eight.

Tell me, tell me how this strikes you.

18 degrees Celsius is 291.15 Kelvin.

I mean, isn't it like just you add 270 to Celsius or something?

Yeah, I think that's what it is.

273.15 just to get there.

Okay.

Well, then that's what I like that.

Yeah.

Not that I have a say.

I'm not the mayor.

It's true.

It's true.

I'm just proposing it, you know?

That's my proposal.

But do you guys have any

laws that you would want in from the the beginning?

Apart from the one you already said, weed.

Oh,

weed and abortions.

I just want everything to be legal.

I don't want anything to be illegal.

There's going to be some illegal stuff.

Yeah, I mean, the only thing that's like fun, you know?

That's fair.

I'm a big brother of my ass.

Jeff's goof world is like kind of scary to me.

Andrew's goof world is fun and like the possibilities are exciting.

Jeff's is like, you're going going to get stabbed, maybe.

Maybe not going to get stabbed, but heroin's legal, probably, you know?

I think that might lead to stabbing.

I think they might be.

Okay, I have a different one then.

All right.

I have a non-drug-related one.

How about Andrew said something about raising the steaks earlier?

How about in Goof World, if you use the first, if you, anytime you use the word steak, S-T-A-K-E,

you have to then eat S-T-E-A-K

at that day.

Like using that word, that's a steak flag, you're throwing down like a potato flag.

And that means now

you got to cook a steak or buy a steak or eat a steak.

I kind of want a steak right now.

It's about lunch.

I was trying to find like an alternative if you were a vegetarian and I feel like.

Oh, cauliflower steak.

Cauliflower?

Okay.

Well, yeah, that's fine.

As long as there are alternatives for people that

I want to propose that it's illegal to back into a spot.

Yeah.

Can't back in.

You got to pull in forward.

You're not a secret agent.

You're not impressing anyone.

Pulling forward.

But then you got to back out.

I don't understand this.

Why is there a preference?

Because it takes longer.

When you have to back in, you got to do like this J-turn thing that's like just holding up the rest of the target parking lot.

Yeah, but you also have to do it in reverse.

Why do you have opinions on this?

You don't fucking drive.

Why are you...

What did you say?

Get him.

Get him.

Get him.

Get them right now.

I mean, I didn't invent blue, but it's my favorite color.

What do you want from me?

Oh, that's my favorite color, too.

I'm just surprised that you

care about anything driving-related.

If it's something you have to do backwards, no matter which way you do it first, you still have to do it backwards.

I think people who back into their spot think they're really good at backing into their spot.

And I've seen way more people try to do it and go, oh shit, I wasn't quite right, and have to keep going forward and like jimmy it a little bit.

Is there

well, first off, what's Andrew?

What's your favorite color?

Orange, Eric?

Go with yellow.

Nick.

Green.

Interesting.

Is there an official goof color?

Like, you know how there's like a state bird and a state flower?

Do we have like a goof flower, a goofbird, a goof color, goof song?

Like, you know, I do wish that we locked in the color before

weed being legalized.

It feels like that this is an important detail.

Not that the other things aren't important.

Can we mix all our colors together?

What would we get?

Probably a terrible.

It's it's not gerple what gerple i'm just gonna throw this out there it seems like gerple would be our color like yeah gerple yeah i would i would assume right

yeah it's probably gerpel and the state bird is obviously jack's exotic it has to be it could be it could be the regulation pigeon or it could be that little woodcock yeah and to be clear that's our pigeon now we own that that's our that is true we're buying that from jack so that's our our pigeon can we make an exotic bird be one that none of us have ever seen in goof world

Sure, like one that's extinct.

I guess, yeah, you could do extinct birds.

I'm just saying, it's such an exotic bird.

Never seen one.

Dodo?

I don't know if we could

make it.

It could just be a question mark, and we'll just say that no one's seen it yet.

Maybe

the bird has its own flag, and it's drawn by an artist who doesn't know what they're drawing and is only having it described to them.

Oh, I like that.

That's an interesting idea.

We We should hire like 10 artists and all have them draw a regulation bird.

That's the only prompt we give them.

We just need you to draw a regulation bird, and then we see what those 10 birds are.

And how many of them look like our regulation bird?

Because I would bet a few will.

Can we potentially also pick like the state punctuation?

Like, do you have any characters on a keyboard that you would pick to represent us, Andrew?

Oh.

So, what do you mean by us?

Like, all of us?

Like, what?

The residents of goof?

Instead of, like, the state bird, I'd just speak like the state punctuation.

Characters on a keyboard.

I'm looking at my keyboard right now.

I got a new keyboard, and the keys are on the front of the key, and I don't like it.

That was a mistake.

I shouldn't have got this.

Oh, that's horrible.

I hate this.

Yeah.

I'm not a fan.

I'm going to say

G.

G for goof.

Right.

Right in the middle of the keyboard, too.

Right in the middle.

Punctuation, really.

But okay, I thought this one here.

I was getting.

So that's like

thanks.

What do you want a comma?

For coming, and then another, you have to put like a second G at the end.

Instead of periods, we use tiny G's.

What do you want from me?

You want a comma?

I think you want your punctuation.

Yeah.

Yeah, if you think it should be the comma.

Take your time, though.

I'm thinking about it because

my gut goes to period, but period I feel like is finite.

Like it ends things.

And I don't know if that's the vibe.

There's something serious about a period that I don't enjoy for Goof World.

Jeff has picked what looks like a straightened out slash.

It's called a pipe, I believe.

Ooh.

It's like between a backslash and a forward slash.

Yeah, it's just like a big boner.

I'm going to stick with the comma for now.

Oh, Nick picked the butthole.

Smart.

Yeah, the butthole.

butthole oh the smart asterisk the asterisk is pretty good is that punctuation

well sure why not have to have a vote goof

g was already punctuation so i guess that can too you know whatever

said anything on a keyboard did i oh yes the asterisk is considered a punctuation honestly gavin honestly i don't know if you did i just said that

you figure if you just lie to gavin you can get away with it you'll be all right yeah yeah i i just made a statement i don't know that was probably my fault but I'm sticking with comma.

Any other rules?

Any other laws for goof world that people need cleared up?

We good?

We good with this goof meeting?

Goof hall?

I'm all good with it.

Yeah.

Good with goofall.

That's good.

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Can I, uh, can I hold a small intervention for

one of the costs of this podcast?

Okay.

Shit.

Hold on a second.

You haven't announced who it's about, right?

No.

Could be any of us.

It could be.

Anyone take any guesses on who it is?

I always assume it's me.

I assume it's you too, but

the way he brought it up, I don't think it is.

I think he would have led right into you.

Do you know what you did?

You don't have to say it, but do you know what the intervention is about?

No, but I'm excited to find out.

Interesting.

Let me post a couple of pictures.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, not in that one.

What are you doing?

Where are you posting?

Where are these going?

We have Discord.

No, no, it was in someone else's Discord.

Yeah.

All right, ready?

I can't wait to see what you just posted in someone's Discord.

Oh, I'm going to have to figure out how to delete that later.

Okay,

the intervention.

Right-click it.

Don't tell him now.

He'll do it.

I can't even post it.

Okay, I'm posting it in Slack.

Jesus Christ, dude.

Put your head in the game.

Can we have an intervention with him on how to note kids?

I need nitro.

All right, here we go.

Are you posted somewhere else?

General.

I would like to

have a word with Eric.

Okay.

Eric was right.

Yeah.

Post it.

I'm waiting for these pictures still.

Definitely sending.

Here we go.

This is Gavin.

This is crazy.

Okay.

Okay.

Yeah, these are burgers.

Yeah.

Eric is eating.

the most disgusting looking flat burgers that it makes me it makes me not want to eat a burger.

So you're putting me off so they look like they're from the same place, they are, which makes me think that that's their style and they're Spanish burgers.

I can have Nick stand up for me on this.

Nick,

I got two burgers from Mad Burger,

the place that Michael ordered when he got us the sack of burgers at 100%.

Those are sloppy, but they're good.

They are

so,

so

good.

They are flat as hell.

Those are singles, the doubles have a little bit more substance.

Those are mad burgers.

Woo!

Sounds like a ghost kitchen.

Uh, it's like a truck.

They all look wet and stepped on.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they're so good.

I will say they did, when I looked at the second photo of them and I saw that, okay, clearly this is a place that does that thing.

I did like to pretend that you were just falling on your burgers like the Subway sandwich.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because they do look like you fell on them.

Yeah.

Did you by any chance guillotine these burgers before you ate them?

Did you stomp on them and rattle your bowls or something?

Yeah, I did.

I did a romper stomper and hurt my nuts.

They are, Mad Burgers is so good, and it's my style of burger.

I want a like sloppy smash burger.

Oh, it's oh, I love it.

I love that style of hamburger.

You got to catch delicious.

You got to to get those numbers up, dude.

Come on, Gavin.

What's your style of burger?

Have you ever had a Smash Burger, Gavin?

Have I had one?

Yeah.

I've assumed I have.

You should, like, confirm that.

During this burger year, you should try it.

You should get mad burgers.

Oh, that's a fun idea.

Don't we need to onion a car soon?

Shouldn't we go get burgers?

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah.

We're past the fucking deputy thing now.

We can get back to doing other stuff in town.

We can go on short road trips.

I'm not even going to get into it.

I'm not even going to to get into it.

Yeah, we do need to do that.

Yeah, we do need to do it.

What is he not going to get into?

What are you not getting into?

Have a look at the fucking schedule.

What's that?

Hold on a second.

I'm looking.

He's saying that Gavin has a work trip, so

you can't do the young girls.

All right.

Out, out.

That's it.

Oh, he's out, out, yeah.

So we do have to do it.

And in a few weeks, I'm sure we will.

That's why we're recording today,

the middle of September, for the first day of august looks like looks like we'll be doing that in october sometime actually yes sir oh a spooky flat burger

i hope that gavin loves the mad burger and that it becomes your preferred i hope this flips on you in a way that like you're like i i did

like it just becomes my thing It becomes your thing.

I think that'd be the funniest option.

It looks too wet for me.

Next month, when we all get together, man, I'll order some Mad Burgers.

I think this could flip the other way, though, on Eric, where I like that Eric has become a popcorn influencer for people having popcorn delivered to them and just picking them up.

You are so in the wrong.

There is an overwhelming majority that are like, yeah, this is a totally normal thing.

Yes.

It's ridiculous how many people, every time I've brought this up, where I'm like, oh, yeah.

Scorpio Sky, he just gets this popcorn to go.

Everyone that I've brought this up to has gone like, oh, I've never done that, but it's a really good idea.

And I'm like, what are you like, that's ridiculous.

That's like getting popcorn, like getting it delivered to you from like DoorDash or something.

And people go, oh, that's a really good idea too.

That's, those aren't good ideas.

Those are bad ideas.

No, it's great.

As Eric brought up, it was a discussion on a different podcast that Eric works on.

Creating character?

Creating character podcast.

Yeah.

Okay.

And

I keep getting influenced by it because somebody made a post in the subreddit that you talked about it.

And I was like, you know what?

Popcorn at home sounds really good.

Then you clipped it, that discussion, and I had it randomly pop up on TikTok.

And so I ordered popcorn that weekend, which is the second time I've done it.

Did a movie night.

It was delicious.

But you bought the

flavor colour or whatever that stuff was called, didn't you?

Didn't you ever figure that out?

I stopped using it once Eric established that you're supposed to use it in the cooking process and that it's not just a seasoning.

So instead of using it correctly, you stopped using it altogether.

Yeah, Yeah, because the whole point was that I could do popcorn from a desk

I Was looking to make popcorn.

Why can't you do it at your desk?

Uh Cause I don't know if it would work with an air popper.

I think it's you have to have like a kettle situation.

Well, it would put one of those at your desk.

Isn't it air popped at the movie theater?

Is it air popped at the movie theater?

They put it in a giant metal basket and go shit jigger jigger.

Jigga jigger jigger.

No, that's not it.

I think that's to shift it off the bucket.

I don't think that's air popped.

Yeah.

No, I don't think it's air pop.

Why don't you use a hairdryer?

Why don't you just get like a little electric stove thing for your desk?

I have too much things on my desk.

You do have too much things on your desk because you're spilling stuff on some of your things on your desk.

Yeah, I'm in the process of, I've remodeled the desk twice, and I'm going to have to do it again.

I'm trying to add another monitor.

What does that mean?

You've remodeled the desk?

Well,

maybe it was an overly fancy word to say I've taken stuff off the desk and then rearranged it.

Yeah, I agree.

That was an overly fancy word.

Yeah, definitely overly fancy word.

I remodeled my bowels earlier when I took a shit.

Everybody's remodeling.

So do you have any current pictures of your desk?

Are we allowed to see the present day?

Situation?

I'm not.

Do you trust this?

If he sent a picture of his desk, you would think it's his fucking desk?

That's a good point.

Like, he won't even send her his cats.

I like that he had that screenshot of him posting his cats on Twitter and someone replying to it saying, Those are my cats.

We haven't seen enough pictures of Andrew's world in a long time.

We should figure out a way to get Andrew to send us a photo from his room every episode.

It could just be a corner, it could be under the bed, just something, just something to give us a little bit of insight.

I feel like his world is so mysterious to us in 2025.

Yeah, why don't you give us something?

Uh,

what you got there?

What could you show us now?

I'm looking.

It's not.

It's not.

What's too secret about the desk for today?

What's too secret about the desk is that I'm in the process of rearranging a bunch of stuff.

So my desk is unusually filled right now.

Ooh, see, that sounds like a good one.

Sounds like the perfect time to send it to us, yeah.

Yeah, because then you've got the excuse of like, it's not a shithole.

You're just in the middle of a renovation.

or remodel as you said so there'll be no judgment on our part well it's it's let me i'll just i'll tell you some of the things that are on my desk right now i have the puzzle from the puzzle when we did the puzzle building race which we need to get back to yep then on top of that i have a deluxe edition uh collection of immortality it is like a thing they sold that is a book about the game and all of the the scripts from the movies in the game like it's really it's awesome it's it's very cool was that a lost series for us uh yeah, because we don't have Let's Play, right?

It's first, it's Let's Play, and it was on

Reacher Death.

Yeah,

that was fun.

And it's very cool.

I've had so many people reach out and say, I love that series, and I had that experience with my friends.

It's, it was very cool.

It's awesome than that connected with people the way he did.

Uh, I have that, I have a bag of Tostito's corn chips next to it, yum, yeah, uh,

and that's sort of uh, I got a

cup, I got a Gerpler.

I got

the cosmic GURP in front of me with some water.

It's

got a lot.

Got a lot of things going on here.

Mark the Frog yesterday in my chat, they were asking about

what we're going to do for the Gerpler coming up, the next Gerplo.

And I was like, you're going to love it.

Don't worry about it.

You're just going to like it.

And Mark the Frog said we should do next summer, we should do a bomb-pop Gerbler.

Oh, yeah.

Bomb pop is good.

That'd be pretty cool.

I like a bomb pop.

Love a bomb pop.

I will say, to go back to the popcorn for a minute, please do.

I thought that I could persuade Eric that this is actually a great thing, but I got foiled.

The world doesn't work the way it used to.

Because they, when you get a popcorn like that, so I it was a buy one, get one.

So I had two large popcorns, and they put another bag of, like another large bag over the popcorn so it doesn't spill.

And I had the thought of when I was younger, they would do free refills on large bags of popcorn.

And I thought, wait, did I just essentially get like five bags of popcorn by doing this?

I guess

it was the whole plan of like, I could take these, I could refill them, it'd be great.

I could, I could use this to my advantage.

At that point, Eric, would you be pro this move?

Pro just going and refilling the same popcorn over and over?

If you, if these were refillable bags,

does that change anything for you well yeah yeah because you're not yes my problem with the whole thing is that it i think it's insane to pay like the 11 yeah the 1150 to walk in to get popcorn to walk out with the pop like that's just crazy to me that's the value is not there yeah that's not i get it i feel like it's a gavin take but i understand where you're coming from thanks um

Because it's a flavor thing.

But

it turns out that these movie theater bags you can't just take them to get refilled whenever it's like three hours from the point of purchase is your window

how do they how do they establish when you bought them yeah how do they i don't know if it's like part of the receipt or or what but is it like a kid's play area as a kid where you get like a dinosaur stamp and all the stegosauruses have to go home after two hours i get i don't yeah i'm not sure how they track it just from my reading of it it's like essentially you have until the movie ends is sort of the idea to refill it.

But I don't know if they police that, so maybe it still works.

But I bet you could get around it.

That does seem like a an impossible life hack, though, to essentially buy popcorn once and then get free popcorn for the rest of your life.

Well, how much would you pay for a subscription to a bucket?

And it's just free refills of popcorn whenever you want.

Would you pay like 200 bucks a month for that?

That's just a value.

200 a month?

What are you saying?

What the fuck?

That was the number?

That was the number out the skate?

Are you at the end of the day?

The arrested development mom saying, like, here's $20.

Go buy an apple.

Like, you just don't know how things cost.

Yeah, but didn't you say it was like 30 bucks to get one bag delivered or something?

No.

It was the popcorn itself was, I think, $9.99.

Okay.

And then I got one for free.

And then delivery was probably,

it's probably like $7.

And then a a $10 tip on top of that.

So about

$30?

Yeah, so I guess like $30.

Right.

So wouldn't you say that $200 for the month is good value?

Are you doing those live hacks six times, seven times a month?

Well, no, here's the thing with this.

Is it getting delivered every time?

The delivery is part of this subscription fee.

Yeah.

Is a van going around constantly and when you hit the button, you leave your bucket out and they fill it with popcorn.

No, I don't, I don't have, as good as this sounds, I do not have $200 for a monthly popcorn subscription.

$200 is a significant amount of money.

That's a $20 service.

That's nuts.

Eric, why is it outrageous if one attempt costs 30 bucks?

Because

you would have to.

That's so many times of getting popcorn.

I've done this now twice in my life, Gavin.

Yeah, no, I know.

But if you watch,

if you watch more than six movies of a picture.

But he's also buying popcorn in the most expensive way possible.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like he's going out of his way to spend more money on popcorn than a person needs to by doing it this way.

Alamo Draft House has a $20 season pass, so you can see as many movies in a month.

You can see one movie a day, every day, in a month, for $20.

Yep.

It is cheaper than if I were to go see a movie at the theater and a drink.

So in a sense, I'm saving.

Well, Eric, it's different because they make money on the food there.

And also they don't drive the new movie and set it up at your house.

You still have to go there and buy food.

I think $200 is I think $200 is crazy.

I think it's crazy.

I think it's crazy.

It is crazy.

It is crazy.

But it's not.

It's crazy because you're ordering freaking movie popcorn at home.

That is crazy.

But I'd say for the value, it's not that bad.

It's about the experience.

Gavin, I think it's crazy and I think you're crazy.

How much would you pay for an infinite refill of popcorn in a bucket for a month?

Yeah.

$20.

$20.

Yeah, $20.

But how would that operate as a business?

It's a bad business.

I think you're crazy.

I like this version of shark tank where you go up to the sharks and you say, How much would you pay for it?

And then they tell you, and then you tell them that doesn't work for the business.

You start yelling at them.

You start yelling insane.

That doesn't work.

i'm not out here defending the 200 as great i'm saying the actual entire thing is stupid you sure

40 bucks

you guys want a business to fail

you can potentially order 30 popcorns for 200 bucks delivered to your house from the movie theater it's tremendous value the idea is stupid not the price i thank you i'm out the price is atrocious.

The price is atrocious.

The price is stupid.

I think I've done it twice in my life.

One person subscribes to your service and it funds all the popcorn you have to buy as the manufacturer for the entire year.

You're getting movie theater popcorn delivered to your bucket for like six bucks and without, and you have to go anywhere.

Now it's $6?

Now you're speaking my language.

$6 seems like it's worth it.

If you did it every day, it'd be $6, wouldn't it?

About, well, six and a a half.

Are you eating a bucket of popcorn every day?

How much, how long past the first month are you going to live, do you think?

I don't.

I don't want to tell you.

Part of the joy of the movie theater popcorn experience is it's not constant.

It's a delight.

It is a delight.

Yeah.

And I think you can make the case that if, let's say, my $30 popcorn thing, I'm not paying ticket prices for a movie.

I'm doing a movie at home, not paying drink prices.

It's outrageous price for popcorn specifically, but if you turn it into a movie type night as opposed to going to the theater, I think it financially is probably a little bit cheaper.

Fair play.

But I wouldn't want to spend $200.

$200 is insane.

Yeah, $200 is insane.

You're crazy.

I agree with you.

The next time we do a Sloppy Joe's bingo or like a big long live stream at work, eventized live stream, we should order movie theater popcorn.

Yeah, Nick is so in.

Like, well, he saw that.

He saw that coming as soon as he started that sentence.

He saw that coming down the road and got ramped up.

Yeah, he did.

Let's do it.

Hey, when can we do the next one?

I mean, I'm sure we'll do a Sloppy Joe's in October for fantasy week and Halloween and all that stuff.

It's not like we have any time in September, so it's fine.

Yeah, Eric, what about $200 a month, right?

Okay.

Do you get a nice fresh the worst million dollars butt ever?

$200 butt.

You get a lovely hot coffee at your doorstep every morning.

Oh!

$200?

How big?

The size of the coffee is the thing that you're...

What size makes it worth it to you, Nick?

Big gulp?

32 ounces of coffee.

This guy's fucking crazy.

I mean for money yeah

no i wouldn't want a 200 coffee subscription but you probably pay that

anyway do i don't you get coffee like every day from places i grind my own beans and make my own coffee every day i don't buy coffee i don't the last time i bought coffee was probably over a week ago

fair play you know what

fair play i mean i do the same you didn't buy a coffee monday when you came into the office for break show

oh i did right as I was walking out.

You're right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I saw you go in.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, you're right.

He's talking Mr.

Full of shit.

He probably, but to be fair, I think he probably paid like five bucks for it or something.

Oh, that's fair.

Not $6.50, which is what this would cost.

Approximately.

Hell yeah.

Got you there, Gavin.

Yeah, take that.

Yeah, I mean, you have to go drive and get it.

So, anyway, you got bad, bad business ideas, Gavin.

I don't think they're very good.

Jeff, take us out.

Before we get taken out, just really quickly.

Just a very quick thing.

I just am curious.

Not Gavin.

Eric, how do you feel about Simon Sess?

Ooh.

What?

How do I feel about Simon Says?

How do you feel about it?

Yeah, what are your opinions on Simon Seth?

I don't know.

I guess I'm okay with it.

Why?

Wow, okay.

I assumed you'd hate it.

No, I mean, like, it's not like I love it.

It's like, I don't think I could give it more than any kind of like, yeah, okay, sure.

Like.

There is

a side quest in Borderlands 4 that is just a continuous series of playing Simon Says, and I I thought, Eric will fucking hate this.

Oh, I'm not going to love that in that game.

I don't play that game with sound on.

How am I?

I'm not going to be able to beat this side quest.

I don't, I listen to other stuff while playing.

I don't want to listen to this video game.

This is, oh, my God.

Oh, now.

I just, as someone who has such a deep passion of hatred for board games, I just don't know that

would be an even deeper level of hate.

But that would be a good thing.

No, it's just no.

It's like, it's fine because it feels like an I-Spy type situation where you know it's outside of a board and

how are you how how do you where do you land on heads up seven up?

You can look at the shoe of the person when they come and tap you.

So you got him.

You got him dead to rights.

How do you feel about Red Rover?

Oh send me on over, baby.

I'm

blasting through that line.

What's 7 up heads up?

Heads up 7 up?

Yeah, sorry, man.

Have you ever played that game?

How's it going?

It's kind of like duck, duck, goose.

Yeah, everyone puts their head down and then there's like three people or whatever that come over and tap random people on the shoulder.

And if you get picked, you have to stand up and say like, oh, I think Gavin tapped me.

And then

they're like, no, it wasn't, it wasn't.

That's the whole game.

Like thinking about it, that's the whole game.

How do you feel about Chicago shootout?

No, that's not real.

Chicago shootout is not real.

Stop talking about Chicago shootout.

It's not real.

I just got really bummed out.

Why?

Why?

I realized I'm probably never going to play Duck Duck Goose again.

We could Duck Duck Goose.

You want to Duck Duck Goose?

I just feel like I didn't play enough of it as a kid.

Think about, now think about it.

We all get in the office.

We order movie theater popcorn.

We play Duck Duck Goose.

Andrew chases us with the robot.

It's what a day.

I mean, sounds like our next big live stream event.

And you can help support us by listening to more episodes of the Regulation podcast.

Checking out our Patreon.

go to regulatreon.com if you want to find out more info about what we do.

Video game playthroughs, supplementals, drafts, podcasts,

live action events.

We do it all.

We don't give a fuck.

We just do stuff.

And we hope you'll like it.

And maybe you will if you'll check it out.

Thank you for listening to another episode of the Regulation Podcast.

And I'll leave you with this.

You get a million dollars, right?

But

you get every red light for the rest of your life.

Oh, no fucking shot.

Absolutely not.

No, no, never.

No.

Sure.

What?

You don't drive.

Bye-bye.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I think it's actually funny to say yes and not drive because then you're just burdening Uber drivers and they all think they're having the worst run of their lives.

Honestly, poor Meg.

It's pretty funny.

Poor, poor Meg.

That's a good point.

Gavin, above all other people, should say yes to this.

Yeah, let Meg know what you just said yes to and let us know what she said.

I'd do that for 200 a week.