Shrimp Under Pressure // Whimsy-free [75]

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Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Regulation Podcast.

My name is Jeff Ramsey, and with me, as always, Andrew Panton, Nick Schwartz, Gavin Free, Eric Badour.

This is episode 75.

Nailed it.

Perfect.

I'm pretty good about that one.

75 is a great number.

Great reason.

An intro.

Well, you say that, but to be fair, I feel like at least a quarter of them were you going

right in the middle of him talking or making a noise.

Or I don't think it's always Jeff's fault.

What, you said I go for a distraction?

I think you do.

I think you enjoy a distraction every once in a while.

I don't think that's not only one.

No, exactly.

First,

Kevin, are you going to take that lying down?

That's crazy.

Secondly, horseshit.

You'll do it in the beginning is when you'll do it.

You'll get ready to talk and then you'll go like, like you're going to say something.

Play the damn tape.

Okay, just episode 16, episode 26, episode

31,

episode 35.

And a list of episodes.

I also thought, like, we really let it slide last time.

The guy who never does any intros, telling Jeff he only gets one one shot at it, I thought was pretty bold.

Pretty, uh, pretty face, right?

Really, something like that.

Oh my god, how are you guys doing today?

I've done some intros, yeah, but you hate it.

You're not a fan.

I'm great.

Do you want to do an intro right now?

The pressure's off.

Intro's been done.

You can just do a stress-free intro.

Can I ask what you dislike about the intro?

Who me?

Yeah, as a doer.

Yeah.

You know, it's just like,

I don't.

Right.

So then your idea is to tell Jeff that he only gets one shot at it when you said the thing you don't like is the thing that you're like leaning on here?

Yeah, pretty much.

If you had to put it on paper.

Here's the, I'm going to defend Gavin here.

Gavin, here's what I'm going to say for Gav.

Gavin knows me very well.

We've been in best friends for a very, very long time.

Gavin knows that I rise to the occasion under pressure.

So he's trying to push me to higher heights.

That's what he's doing.

I think that's a beautiful spin zone.

Conversely, I like slug down under pressure.

I just shrink down into like a paste.

Yeah, Gavin shrimps under pressure.

Yeah.

Is it just content intros that you have this like anxiety with, or is it just intros in general?

Do you think you're good at meeting new people?

No, it's just me doing them.

No, it's like I have to do it on other shows and I just like, I'm always editing that stuff and I'm like,

shut up.

Do you think Gavin's good at meeting new people?

No, he's the worst at it, which is frustrating because everybody instantly likes him.

You should go to a restaurant with Gavin and see how he orders.

It's typically just whatever the person in front of him ordered, and he'll close his menu and say, I'll have that too.

Yeah.

The interaction, I don't want to hold anyone up.

I just, in and out.

If it's food that I would eat, sure, go for it.

I've never modified anything on a menu.

What?

Never made any changes.

I just pick off stuff if there's an olive in it.

I'll just flick it out.

But you have the ability to do that.

Why would you not do that?

Just

then everyone's watching me have a conversation.

I also don't always know when the olive is getting put into the thing.

Can the olive be taken out of this dish?

I don't know.

I'd rather not ask.

Sometimes it can't be.

Can I ask a question?

How much of it is the conversation itself and how much of it is having the conversation with an American waiter or waitress?

Better than a British one.

Well, it's definitely worse with when I'm in America because first it's like, huh?

And I'll say it again, it's like, oh, you're foreign.

And then at this point, I'm just trying to say a single word, like, salad.

Because I can see you shrink in that moment when they acknowledge you're British, you hate it.

Well, it's just, I just, I know it extends the length of the conversation, and I'm going to get uncomfortable, and everyone's going to be looking at me and them going over where I'm from instead of ordering.

So, would you order a substitution if you went to a restaurant in London?

Uh, still no, okay, no,

but less forcefully, yeah, okay.

Have you ever ever introduced yourself doing an exaggerated British accent, like the American impersonation style accent?

Like go fully dyke.

Yeah.

I've never done that.

I'd love to see it.

I feel like it's the ice is always broken, though, if the person knows who I am, because then it's it just like lifts all the pressure off.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's how that works.

Because then it's like, well, they want.

Now they want to have a small interaction and it makes it okay.

Sure.

I get it.

less variables at risk

no olives in that scenario you're all clear maybe i would make

maybe if they knew who i was i would make the modification oh if i told the waiter beforehand look this is my friend gavin just pretend just walk up when you when you take the order just go hey i just want to say i'm a really big fan uh and then like then you would be like thanks no olives

it's possible Do you think you could pull that off long enough where you could convince a close friend that they were famous because you put

such an amount of effort into everywhere you go 15 minutes before they get there, you pay people off.

I bet Andrew has done that with Jake somehow.

No.

Yeah, for like in fits and spurts, maybe like for an like for a stream.

I watched you do it for a stream, but

not like in-person at length for like years, you know?

Yeah.

I think Google really ruins it, unfortunately.

You eventually Google it.

Yeah.

This is a great like 70s prank, though.

Eventually Google what?

Like how is somebody going to know that Gavin's paying waiters off to say, oh my God, are you Eric Bador?

Because if I Google somebody's name and nothing shows up, then it kind of ruins the illusion of fame.

What if they have an interesting stage name that they're just not going by today?

That doesn't.

Your unfamous friend has an interesting stage name that they're not going by today.

I guess they would know that they don't have a stage name.

I feel like the closest that we get to this is me and Jeff talking about Mark the Frog all the time, and nobody knows who that is or why we talk about him.

That is the closest.

I don't know what that is.

Yep.

Mark the Frog.

Do you know what Mark the Frog ate for dinner last night?

Well, I had.

I was talking to him.

I was streaming last night.

He had six boiled eggs for dinner.

That was his whole dinner.

Yeah, he had six boiled eggs.

He does that a lot.

I definitely know Andrew that.

Mark the Frog at some point, if he doesn't enjoy me being him.

Oh, he does not enjoy it.

He hates it so much.

He keeps coming into streams and going, what is this joke?

I don't like it.

I don't think it's a funny joke.

And I just keep saying, welcome to it.

He says, I do not appreciate this.

And we go, exactly.

For those who don't watch the stream, Mark the Frog's just someone in chat who Eric and Jeff really like.

And sometimes Andrew likes to pretend that it's him.

Well, somebody had a theory that I was him, and I just replied to the thread saying, Yep.

And then

somebody else had another thread saying they thought I was AI, and I replied, No, I'm mark the frog.

And then he replied, please stop.

And I couldn't, because I don't know him

well enough.

I was like, is this a genuine please stop?

Am I going to stop doing this?

Or is this like him doing a joke?

Sounds like it was serious.

Maybe that's why he's eaten so many eggs.

He's trying to be the opposite of you.

He's like,

he's wearing pants.

Yeah, he wears two pairs of pants everywhere he goes.

I really like that we have some names that we repeat all the time when we do streams, like Mark the Frog or Jorky Bilfus or Crucified Donkey.

Like, there are just some names that you see on stream and you go, I think that's the one I'm going to latch on to.

Deep Sea Diverticulitis, that's a really good one.

That's a good one.

Yeah, that's a great one.

Schindler's Fist always showing up.

Schindler's Fist, yeah.

Love it.

Can't forget Spummer.

I feel like the start of all.

Oh, yeah, big thing.

OG Spum, yeah.

Which I i think is almost the best because he wasn't trying to do a thing it was just his name it's just his name can i ask you guys a question of course yeah is anybody watching this season of survivor no season 49 god damn oh i don't want to spoil it for you but i

got to get rid of the three tribe system

The same fucking thing happens every season, and you can see it coming from a mile away, and then you have to spend five episodes watching one team just get utterly decimated and and never ever ever win until they have to split it up and then divide them among the other two teams it happens it's like six seasons in a row it's happened they gotta they gotta mix it up it's really starting to get a little boring it was fun when it used to like when it wasn't always happening i guess i know i agree it was fun i like the idea three tribes i just hate it because it's like the first team to lose you just know that team's gonna go from six to two over the next four episodes and then one's gonna end up on yellow and one's gonna end up on blue or whatever and then there you go i'm trying to think, and I just don't know this off the top of my head, if a tribe has ever been voted out in a row.

Because it always feels like they go to like two people and then they get separated and then they last for weeks.

Yeah.

I don't think there's ever been a scenario in which one tribe was literally voted out every episode until they were gone.

That'd be pretty funny.

I'd pull for that.

I'd stick with a three tribe system if that was.

That was possible.

We could get that locked in.

Are you guys, if you guys aren't watching Survivor yet, what are you watching?

watching anything

is there anything you're excited about i watched the monkey the other night what is that it's a stephen king adaptation directed by the guy that did long legs it was very good it is very uh final destination ish um in its cartoonishness it is incredibly gory and graphic but in a way that is funny so it's not at all upsetting at least in my opinion very good it was one of the rare things where I watched the movie and then I read a synopsis of the short story and I was blown away by how much they added into the movie and how much better I think the telling of the story is in the movie than the short story was.

Is it about that short story with the little monkey that clangs its hands?

Yep.

Wow.

I read that when I was in like fourth grade.

Yeah.

So it's the premise of this monkey that anytime it clanks its hands, somebody dies in the world.

Most likely somebody that you will know.

And it's just a play out of that.

But it's very, it's like all the deaths are very over the top.

Do you think Stephen King has the most surface area between his top lip and nose of any celebrity?

Yes.

Yes.

A lot.

It's a great question.

Maybe him or Ron Perlman?

Yeah, Perlman.

Oh, it'd be cool to measure them both.

It would be.

It would be cool.

Javier Bardeem, he's got a decent amount too.

Oh, yeah.

I feel like.

They're a neighbor.

No.

what else are you watching Jeff outside of survival well the reason I asked is because uh

I've been pretty disillusioned with television so Emily and I have tried to have decided to spice up our lives a little bit

and uh we have

oh you're gonna love it we have instituted into our private lives the wheel

we have uh we've decided to take the regulation wheel and uh we we couldn't figure out what we wanted to watch on television so we decided to let the wheel make the decision for us we looked at every new major network so ABC CBS, NBC, or Fox, major network, new procedural or drama has to be an hour, can't be a sitcom.

They all look terrible.

We can't force ourselves to watch any of them.

So we put all the ones that are debuting season ones this season on a wheel and spun it six times.

And like four out of fucking six times, Boston Blue with Donnie Walbrink come up.

So now Emily and I have to start.

We have agreed that we are going to watch every episode of an entire season and follow it week to week of a fucking major network procedural show, which is something I haven't done since high school, probably.

And so now I think next week or the week after the first episode comes out and we have to watch.

And it's called Faith and Family.

So I know exactly what I'm about to watch and I'm so fucking not excited.

Why do you do this to yourself?

You already do it at work.

You just watch a movie.

I watch a movie.

Dude, I watched Inner the Ninja yesterday.

Came out from my childhood.

It was so good.

I do watch movies.

Did any of your spins go to the second wheel?

Oh, no, Emily and I aren't ready for a second wheel.

Oh, so you're on the wheel?

There was no second wheel.

That's not an official wheel, invalid wheel.

That's fine.

It's a private wheel.

It's not an officially sanctioned wheel.

Yeah.

It's all good.

I have a show for you.

Another one, Jeff, you can add to your list.

What's that?

Celebrity bear hunt on Netflix.

One of the things we said is it couldn't be a reality, unfortunately.

So it was

between Boston Blue, 9-11 Nashville, and or 9-1-1 Nashville, and Sheriff Country, all of which look like utter trash.

And I'm not, yeah, I'm not jazzed about any.

I was scrolling Netflix and saw a show called Celebrity Bear Hunt and went, what?

What?

And it's a bear grill show in which he hunts celebrities, such as Mel B.

Oh.

It is a series

that I watched.

Through skipping.

Like, I'd rapidly skip until I thought something interesting looked to happen.

Happened.

Oh, sorry.

Is Joe Joe Thomas in there?

Yep.

He's in it.

They have to do things and then they fail or they pass from what I gathered.

And then they have to try to escape the bear, which is like they get dropped off somewhere and they need to make it to the exit without bear grylls catching them.

And if they get caught, then they get put into elimination.

But what I think is really funny from what I watched is Bear Grylls just decides who goes home.

So it'll be all the people that he caught.

And then he'll be like, Yeah, you know, I think you're done here.

I think we're ready to move on from you.

And then they get helicoptered out by a rope.

It's very stupid.

Is that Lawrence Llywelyn Bowen?

Uh, probably.

These are British people we don't know.

Holy shit.

I haven't seen him for 20 years.

I knew

boring.

I know who Lottie Moss is because her name, she's Kate Moss's sister, but that's the only one, I think.

Well, it says on there, Kate Moss's Kate Moss's.

But that's how I knew who she was.

What is strictly come dancing is a great question, Nick.

What is that, Gavin?

What the fuck is that?

It's like the Dancy with the Stars, and it's where, I think it's what Dancing with the Stars ripped off.

I think it's been around way longer than our version of it.

I think I'm mad at Celebrity Bear Hunt.

Yeah?

I think this is a bullshit name.

I know.

It's a premise that's tricking me automatically, and then you see it, and there's like, I get that you watched it through skipping.

I don't think I'd watch any of it.

There's no bear.

Yeah, there's no bear from what I could tell outside of grills.

It's very disappointing.

I want to watch a bear chase Kate Moss.

So is it like, is it like a most dangerous game scenario where he's in a everybody's like in a like in a pile or like standing in the woods and he goes, all right, you have 10 minutes run.

And everybody just runs in different directions and he hunts them all down.

So yeah, he, they all, they're in like little teams and then they get sent to go do their their task that they have to do.

And then in the opening episode, bear grills parachutes down into the area after like 30 minutes.

And then he starts catching them.

And it's a lot of bear grills in a like bush close to the celebrity going, like, oh, if one of them breaks off, I'm going to catch him.

And then one of them breaks off and he sprints at them and then ties them up with rope.

What?

It's not.

Do they have to let him tie them?

I think it's a tag system.

Does I be like, you're not, you're not about to do that?

I'm pretty sure it's a tag system.

Okay.

How is it filmed?

I don't know how it's filmed in the sense of like how they're hiding the cameramen from the celebrities.

They're not.

It's a lot of funny stuff of like the first, one of the first captures was they had to escape via a car that was chained up.

And one of the people just decided to sit in the front seat and wait until all the chains are done so they could start it.

And so that's who he caught.

He's like, she's doing nothing.

He's just sitting there while two other people were doing all the unchaining.

It's not good.

As you said, I saw it and I went, they're hunting a bear?

Celebrities are hunting bears?

Is this like the edge, but a reality show somehow?

And it's just a lame bear girls thing.

But it's wild that that exists.

I've been doing damage control.

So I haven't been able to enjoy.

as much great television as I would want.

Because of the drawers?

Yeah.

Not because of the drawers a lot of people agree with me yeah

it's yeah a lot of great drawer rankings out there that i've seen

my mom has been in the hospital and uh just incredibly bored and she's a very festive person uh so she decided that just to kill time she was going to write all of her christmas e-cards Because we also have a postal strike right now.

So she wasn't sure if by the time that Christmas comes around, she'll be able to send out cards.

So she thought, to kill time, I'm going to schedule a bunch of Christmas cards to people.

The problem was that she did not schedule the Christmas cards.

She sent Christmas cards to a whole bunch of her friends that know

she's in the hospital.

So there have been several, and since she's been in the hospital, I added her email

to my account just to make sure that like nothing important goes past because she's not like big on tech stuff.

So I've been monitoring things, and so I get emails whenever anybody receives or opens an e-card that she sends because it's tied to the account.

And a whole bunch of them open.

And it's just people kind of reaching out in a way that they don't want to say, like, are you okay?

Like, because they know she's in the hospital.

So So it's this,

it's created this scenario where there are people that think that she's on her deathbed, essentially, when in reality, she just doesn't know how to schedule Christmas.

She's not just on a shitload of morphine.

She just missed a button.

So

that's been my highlight of October so far is seeing just one day, a whole bunch of cards be opened by a variety of people.

And then

getting emails back, not tied to that, just personal personal emails.

Like,

are you okay?

Is everything okay?

Now,

does she send the cards again in December or are we done with Christmas?

That's a great question.

I don't know.

Maybe she just adds to the email chain and just says see above.

Oh, that's so

sweet to like get stuff done, like, to, to keep her occupied, like, do, do such a nice thing, and then just mess it up terribly.

Yeah, it's such a positive and productive way to kill time, you know?

Well, then, why are you on her emails now if she has the most time she's maybe ever had?

Because I don't think she fully understands that she can see her email on her iPad.

I think she associates her email with her computer, and she only goes there for the email.

Have you tried to show it on her iPad?

Yeah, yep.

I also think that email is important to younger Gen X and millennials, and that's about it.

Old people and young people, you cannot make them check their email.

The amount of stuff, important college stuff that Millie missed this year because she hadn't opened her email in 45 days hurt.

It's like, and you're just like, why wouldn't you check your email?

And she's like, why would I?

I'm not fucking, I'm not old.

It's just less reliable, isn't it?

Like you can, yeah, you can miss.

email because so much of it comes in every morning or like you know throughout the day and then you check it every morning and also some of it just gets like filtered out ends up in a different mailbox Yeah, for no reason.

And then it's like, it never happened.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's true.

To check like for it, and it's not a great system.

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So that's been that.

And

the other thing I was curious about with you guys, especially you, Gavin,

as a big fan of taste, have you ever consumed something that psychologically fucks you up, but like is fine.

But it like it's it's messing with your head

i'll give an example

i

have recently gotten really into a British candy called squashies.

I don't have a devil.

These are made up.

Man,

can you show me a picture of some squash?

I'm going to post a photo of a pack of squashies.

Oh, they look good.

A moment.

They are delicious.

They're kind of marshmallows.

They're made by Smarties.

I didn't know that.

So these are...

There's a variety of flavors you can get.

Oh, I've seen those.

I didn't know they were called squashies.

Yeah, there's some squashies.

I keep wanting to call them squash mellows because those are like plushes or something, and I'm more familiar with that.

Are they like teeth?

Why do they look like teeth?

No, they're not supposed to be.

Those are just, those are kind of fucked up ones.

I think those are dry.

Free freeze-dried.

Like tooth.

Dry freeze.

Yeah.

Eric's teeth, yeah.

Andrews look like what Tom Cruise blew up the aquarium with the Mission Imposter.

Yes.

It does.

I was thinking that when I was eating them.

The bigger problem, though, is the gum-flavored squashies taste exactly like bubblegum.

And it fucks me up because it's also the same kind of texture as bubblegum.

You psychologically can't swallow it easily.

No, I can swallow it, but then I get a tummy ache.

My tummy starts hurting because I was sitting, I was playing a game, and I was eating some bubblegum squashies going, I really like this flavor, but my tummy's feeling really sore because I feel it.

I'm thinking, my brain thinks I'm actually just swallowing a bunch of gum and I'm not supposed to do that, but it's not.

That's crazy.

Or maybe, maybe also it's just not something anyone should eat anyway because it's just a bunch of shit.

Maybe that's supposed to give you a tummy ache.

I don't doubt it's delicious, but I mean,

that looks like a tummy ache in a bag.

Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn't fucking watch 4K because it could give you a headache.

I don't know what you want.

So the past

world

has such high-definition taste.

You brought the food thing to Gavin.

Like, what did you expect here?

I didn't bring everything.

That's true.

I did ask him.

Yeah, that's fair.

What about anybody else?

I think they look delicious, and I could eat a bag of them in one sitting and not get a tummy ache.

I think you guys should try some squashies.

Bubble.

Well, we're going to go to the store later today to buy lemonade stuff so we can do that.

I don't know if you can find squashies in the U.S.

They're not Target.

Are they?

Awesome.

Okay.

Well, never mind.

That's where that Smarty's squashies bag I think was from.

Are they the same as Andrew's ones, though?

The The Smarties ones?

No.

I think that they're the same.

They're probably just like the U.S.

version versus the British version because that one on the top.

I don't think so.

Okay.

Yeah.

Well, for flavor.

For flavor.

No.

I mean, yeah, probably.

But the product will be the same.

Sorry.

Just to be clear.

That's not clear.

No, it's very clear.

I'm saying that they're not going to taste like the bubblegum ones.

Yeah, he wants us to have the same libas.

I feel like the smarties, yeah, because

I just picked a random.

I just googled squashies and picked the first image.

I'm sure there's bubblegum squashies.

I doubt that's the only squashy available in America.

What about this, Gavin?

Let me let me sway you on the squashy side.

You ready for this?

Well, I feel comfortable.

Slightly scared to answer, but yeah, go for it.

I believe, and I could be wrong because I've never looked this up.

Just a thing I've heard at some point that squashies,

Taylor Swiss favorite candy.

Think about that.

Process that.

That changes everything.

Does that change anything, Gavin?

Well, maybe like maybe it nudges the needle 1%.

Towards what?

Yeah,

what is it doing?

What is the needle doing?

What is the needle doing?

Towards maybe away from tummy ache.

I don't know what's on the other side of the needle.

You think Taylor Swift, this being Taylor Swift's favorite candy, nudges the needle away from tummy ache?

Could do.

Wait, is this needle for how you view all food?

And is one half of all food possible tummy ache?

It's a psychological needle, right?

So if I was eating them and I was getting a tummy ache, I'd be like, ooh, I'm eating gum.

But then in the back of my mind,

if Taylor Swift's putting away like 40 of these a night, I'd be like, oh, it's fine.

I'm not going to.

I don't think I'm getting a tummy ache.

I see your point.

We will have bubblegum squashies in the office tomorrow for the stream.

Great.

That's awesome.

Just bought them on Amazon overnight delivery.

Incredible.

Is that okay, Andrew?

Yeah.

Do you feel like

stealing your thunder or anything?

No, I wanted you guys to try them.

I think they're delicious.

I don't think Gavin will like them, but I don't know if I've ever bought anything thinking Gavin will like it.

Yeah, no kidding.

I do like some stuff.

I like things.

You do.

You are.

You said that like you weren't convinced you believed yourself.

Let's list it out.

Yeah.

What's the thing?

When you say that, what's the first thing you think of?

Yeah, yeah, that you like.

You better not say water.

I'm trying to think of something that's like Andrew or Jason.

Like I like a waffle.

That's good.

Waffle is great.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, there you go.

I thought he was going to say, I like paying the bill and going home for a nice cup of tea.

Can I ask when was the last time you had a waffle, Gavin?

Just now.

What?

I had a little toaster waffle.

Oh, a little toasty.

There's a thing in front of you.

He just saw a thing in front of him.

He went, oh, I ate this.

I must like it.

Kaiser Selzay.

Well,

I looked out.

I saw water.

I already knew I wasn't allowed to say that.

And then I saw empty coffee cup, and then I saw an empty waffle plate.

Did you have syrup?

Nah.

Of course not.

Of course not.

Nah.

Dry ass, just a dry ass.

It's just a waffle.

He just ate bread.

He had a slice of fucking bread.

Waffle.

The whimsy is gone.

There's just no whimsy with you.

It's just, you're just, oh, here's my utilitarian waffle I've gotten out of the toaster.

Time to chow down.

I'm whimsy-free.

It's like Tinkerbell, but instead of the dust allowing

fly, it is the knowledge that you'll have to pay taxes.

That's Gavin's whimsy.

Zero joy.

But some joy.

You like some things.

I mean, is there any food that you eat where you're just like, ah, that was just a meal?

Oh, yeah, when it's absolutely.

But I have the high swings as well okay

there's some bog standard meals out there i was thinking the other day about how when i was at school i was quite good

and uh i think if i went out to school now i would get sent out a lot more

but then i was remembering

i was remembering a time i did get sent out and i think it was bullshit and i was wondering if you guys ever got told off at school for for like a bullshit reason that you just couldn't argue against.

I deserved every time I got sent sent out of class.

Yeah, it's not surprising.

What happened to you, Gavin?

I think it was in English in primary school, and we were learning about like word origins and stuff.

And it was like circumvent.

And it was like all words with like circum in it or like circuit in it.

And we all had to say something like

circumference and then they go around the room.

And I just said circumcised, thinking that was a valid answer.

Like a circular cut around the shaft of a penis.

And the teacher just said, get out.

That's why that's the word for it.

Yeah, and I didn't realize until I said it, until I heard everyone saying cirqu words that I was like, oh, it's not penis specific.

It's just a circular.

It's like a cylindrical cut.

Yeah, that totally makes sense.

Gavin, you were unjustly crucified for that.

I agree.

Yeah, I got light, I light bulbed in the class, and then the teacher just shot my light bulb.

Yeah.

And I was just stood outside.

You got punished for learning.

Yeah.

I literally learned in the light.

Like I shot it with an immunity bullet, so I'm on their side.

But then I was just stood in the hallway, worried that my parents would yell at me.

How long do you remember staying in the hallway?

Oh, maybe five, ten minutes.

Did they come get you or not?

Yeah.

How did that work?

Yeah, the teacher just opens the door and then turns around as if to say, come on back in.

Did you get in trouble with your parents?

I don't think they were even told, actually.

Yeah.

I feel like you could argue that away with your parents, too.

But

I would like to question that teacher now, probably long dead.

But I would just like to say that was a valid answer.

I used to do a thing in grade six that I look back on and I don't understand how it started or why it worked.

But if I was bored or I just didn't want to do whatever the class stuff was at that time, I would just get up and I'd leave and I'd assign myself what you went through.

I'd just stand outside the class.

What?

What do you mean?

I would just get up and I'd leave and I'd walk out and then I'd just stand outside of the class door and I'd just hang out.

Like like Ben Affleck with a cigarette?

Like, why are you going?

What's the excuse for going out there?

Uh,

I think they would assume maybe I was going to the bathroom.

I don't know.

I would just walk out and I would just stand there.

And then other students and stuff would sometimes walk by.

And I think they'd always just assume that I was in trouble and I was sent there.

But nobody told me to go there.

I just would go there.

Did you do it to look hard?

No, not at all.

It's just I wanted out of the class.

I was, I didn't want to do whatever was happening, or I I just

wanted space.

I don't know.

I chose not to participate.

And I did it a whole lot.

What?

And then eventually one time I did it.

And the teacher said, you were, you, you've been gone like 40 minutes.

And I was like, yeah, sorry.

Like, sorry.

I was taken aback because I had done it so many times by that point.

That I just assumed, like, nobody said anything.

There were no issues.

And then on like the 14th, i'd assume doing

it was an issue

so then i think i stopped but it's a thing i look back on where i just go i don't know how it became a thing and how i was able to do it so long without it being an issue in the teaching what would be what would hit that switch in your head where you're just like i'm out this sucks uh

maybe it was like a Maybe it was like a math thing I didn't want to do.

I wasn't feeling math that day.

So I'm like, okay, it's time to start doing math.

And I just get up and I'd stand outside the door.

Just

what?

Would you just look into the classroom or look out away from the classroom?

Like, what are you doing with your mind for 40 minutes?

I'm just thinking thoughts, I guess.

I would stand outside the door and I wouldn't like look into the class.

I had no reason to do that.

I was just.

It was like I was calling time out on the class, essentially.

But they're not stopping.

So you're going back in and you've missed it.

No, that that was the whole point is that it would progress and then i'd come back and it would be at a different point that i i would enjoy more or that i had passed the part i didn't want to be part of you're just trying to fast forward through your lessons just hanging out outside the classroom thinking thoughts

did you ever

go back in and realized you'd missed something really important and you kind of regretted to just stand

no i never regretted it

i think there were probably times because i i vaguely, I don't remember like the moment to moment.

I just remember doing it.

I remember one getting called out for it eventually, but then thinking, this has happened so many times.

Have you not noticed until now?

And if so, that's crazy.

I think I would just hang out.

Do you use this in your day-to-day life now?

No.

I think getting chewed out.

I didn't like it.

I'm not a fan of getting chewed out.

So I think once I kind of got some aggression towards it, I don't think I ever did it again.

But you surely would, you would, on your like 12th attempt, you were like, this, I'm going to get chewed out at some point.

Not attempt, just doing.

I think the more he does it, the more natural it feels and the less it feels like.

That's exactly the point.

Because when I did eventually get in trouble after like attempt 14 or whatever, I was taken aback that it was an issue because I felt like if this was going to be an issue, it would have been dealt with way before that.

I don't understand.

If anything, you could have been to the teacher like, I'm really disappointed you let this go on as long as it did.

You know, this is on you, teacher.

No, I was, I was not, I, I think very Gavin, like terrified of getting in trouble.

Not a fan.

I think the most similar thing to that that I had was when I used to work at Waitrose, the supermarket.

It was quite a physically demanding job and I'd get like seven hours into a shift.

I'd get pretty damn knackered about it.

So there would be like a staircase to go upstairs to the warehouse.

There's just a step.

There's the door at the bottom of the stairs and a door at the top of the stairs.

And I would just play stair game.

So if I needed a break away from everyone, I would just stand in the middle of the stairs.

Oh, yeah.

For as long as I could, maybe like four or five minutes.

And whichever door opened, I would just turn that way and walk towards them as if I'd just come from the other door.

So it didn't look like I'd been hiding.

It just looked like I was coming down or up the stairs.

But that's all I could think of.

I don't think I missed anything that would reduce the quality of my work.

Like, you didn't not learn Roman numerals one day because of it or something.

Was that the only time you got the circumcision thing sent to the hall?

Was it a one-off for you?

No,

there was another time where

the window was open a little bit and the wind was making the blinds vibrate

with a really funny noise.

The teacher would be talking and they would just be like,

And it would just sound like a...

like a weird vibraty fart noise.

Uh-huh.

And

my friend just couldn't stop laughing about it.

And he got sent out.

And then all I could think about every time it went

was him getting sent out.

And I just kept cracking up.

And then I got sent out too.

And she was like, if anyone else can't not laugh at the blind, you're getting sent out.

But I couldn't explain.

I'm not laughing at the blind.

I'm laughing at my friend laughing at the blind.

I only got detention once.

And it was bullshit, much like you.

Completely unjust.

I don't even need a trial or a jury it was just bullshit grade four

we're doing we're working we're told not to talk

somebody next to me asks what time is it i answer i get detention for it for talking

what

i got i had to spend it now it's the only time i ever got detention it also

happened to be one of the only times that my mom and my good friend's mom were going to come to the school and give us McDonald's for lunch.

So I had a full-blown meltdown over this because not only was I upset that I felt that I was unjustly being held in detention, I was also just upset in general about being in trouble.

And then the third layer was knowing that I had some nuggies outside that I was not going to be able to access because I was locked in.

So you just

kicking and screaming, crying.

That sort of thing.

I don't think I cried.

I didn't kick or scream.

I'm not a kick or screamer, but I'm pretty sure I cried.

I had a

similar similar thing happen in the fifth grade where we weren't allowed to talk at lunch.

And some kid next to me, which is bullshit, by the way, kids aren't allowed to talk at lunch.

Like, what the fuck is that about?

Thanks for nothing, Florida.

Dog shit, Jacksonville, Florida.

But the kid next to me goes, hey, man, you want some of this fruit?

It was like a, I don't know, some fucking peaches or something.

And I was like, no, no, thank you.

And a teacher just like fucking grabbed me from behind and said, no talking.

And I'm like, I just said, he just asked if I wanted, I said, no.

And she's like, get up and throw your lunch away.

And I was like, excuse me.

And she was like, get up and throw your lunch away.

You don't eat lunch today.

And I was just about to dive into some Oreos that my mom had packed.

And I was really bummed to throw Oreos away in the fifth grade.

Like, let me tell you.

So I came home.

My mom asked how school was.

I explained it to her.

She took me to school the next day and I sat outside the principal's office for about five minutes.

I'll never forget this.

And then at lunchtime, in front of the entire school, that teacher apologized to me.

Oh my gosh.

My mom made them make the teacher apologize to me in the cafeteria in front of the other kids.

Oh, I mean, a teacher telling a child to throw away food that their parent bought them, I assume, outrageous.

Bought and made, yeah.

She made an Oreo?

No, but she made like the sandwiches and other shit, you know.

The Oreo was just the thing I gave a show.

Yeah.

Yeah, that was eaten first.

You know, you're like, oh, cool.

A sandwich of banana and Oreos.

I'll start with the Oreos and we'll see how much time there is for the others.

Yeah.

That's unjust.

Man, that's crazy.

Can I shift gears?

I just ask a question real quick.

I'm at the office right now at the time of this recording.

Cool.

Jeff, why do you have a map?

Oh, that's a Gavin thing.

He requested that.

So I bought it for him and put it up.

Gavin, why do you have a map?

Well,

we're into keys, Eric.

We're into keys of the city.

And I thought, why don't we hang each key off a a pin stuck in a map on the city?

And then when we go to that city, right before we leave the office, we'll just grab that key.

I love it.

Had no idea that that was the plan.

I think that plan is incredible.

Phenomenal.

Insane.

Incredible.

I'm so glad that you asked that, Eric, because I saw the map photo on the wall and I went, why the fuck do we have a map?

I'm not going to ask because I'm sure this was explained to me.

I just don't remember it.

I'm sure it was a short bit.

It was just a conversation Gavin and I had during Portal, I think, and I just immediately bought it for him.

Oh, it's good.

It's good that you guys aren't paying attention to what you're doing in Portal, but you're figuring out a map with keys and everything.

That's really

good.

Well, that's something everyone can enjoy, whereas only Jeff and I can enjoy Portal.

That's true.

We were thinking about ways to enhance everybody's enjoyment.

So with the map setup, this is a question I've been meaning to ask.

We don't want any multiple keys to the same city, correct?

Well, I think we can.

We can potentially just put, instead of like a thumbtack, we just hammer in just a beefy nail and just slot a few keys on it.

Yeah, I mean, I think I'm fine with that.

I think we should be trying to

new keys.

I think we should try.

But if there's a lot and one of them's like, oh man, it's Beverly Hills again.

Absolutely.

I don't think that should be a reason not to get 100%.

Agreed.

Okay.

And if it's like, it's like you just can't pass it up.

Like if we find out that like

the monkey that taught Andrew how to skate also got a key to the city of Cincinnati.

We got to get that, right?

I mean, how do you not?

Just because we already have a key to Cincinnati?

Come on.

Yeah, I could have used a few more lessons.

That's all I know.

Monkey did not do a great job.

Speaking of the office, and you guys, Eric, you're in the office.

We'll be there later today.

Andrew, you were saying earlier that you had trouble sleeping last night.

I also had trouble sleeping last night, a little bit of trouble sleeping last night because I was excited about an idea that you and I have been working on in the background for a while.

It was the last thing I thought of, just because you and I were having a very good conversation about it.

It's the last thing I thought of before I went to bed last night.

And it's the first thing I thought of when I woke up this morning.

And I, in anticipation of this very episode, I, should we, should we do this?

I think we should.

And I also think, first of all, credit all goes to Jeff.

This is a great Jeff idea.

If anything, I have a partial assist at best.

Second of all, when you brought up survivor earlier, I thought that you were doing that to lead to this.

So I was very reluctant to change subjects.

I'm glad we got back here.

Yeah, no, I was all, I figured it would be too on the nose to do it in the survivor conversation.

So I wanted to get that out of the way and then thread it in later.

But I guess this is a good opportunity to let you the three of you who are not andrew and i know that somewhere within the walls of the regulation office is an item that carries tremendous power

got an idol

there is an item somewhere in the office hidden that carries with it a tremendous power that's all i'm gonna say i'm mad that eric's there and i'm not i want to start this tearing shit apart

i'm gonna find it first i'm gonna find it right now i'm gonna find it in the middle of this episode.

When you started saying this item, there's an item, whatever, I just thought of the tradio prank call where

Richard Chrissy going, and this next item is an item.

It's an item.

It's a bit of an item.

It's a big item.

So there's a hidden item in the house.

Somewhere within the walls of our office, there is a hidden immunity idol that carries with it tremendous.

Okay, so now we got, now he's been saying it more, and now he said the word immunity.

Immunity from what?

You'll have to.

You got to gotta find it, and then uh, you'll whoever finds it will get knowledge that they do not necessarily need to share with anybody else.

That's true.

So, so it, whoever finds it, we should just inform the two of you and not everyone else.

Yes, you don't have to inform us.

I guess, yeah, that's a good point.

Actually, you don't even need to tell us.

So, there's information with the item that will clue me in on what I get

having the item.

Yes, okay, okay.

Is it behind the map?

I'll let you know in just a minute, Gavin.

I'll bring Archie.

He'll help me.

So you're going to look high and he's going to look low?

You're going to find a lot of M ⁇ Ms, probably.

I'll give you that.

Yeah, the item is not peanut M ⁇ Ms.

Oh, okay.

Yes, good.

Cause I just ate some of those.

And if that was the item, I would have been pissed.

Have we...

Have we let the audience know that we've mastered or Jeff has mastered the bit barrel?

I don't know.

I don't think we've talked about because we've shown it and we're like, oh, trying some stuff.

And we got our first bit from the bit barrel.

But since then, Jeff has really honed in with the help of Emily

on how to get the bits out of the barrel.

And it's been working really well.

I found the magic angle, and now the problem is it works too well.

It's like you'll shoot too many bits out at once.

So you got to like back off a little bit.

But yeah, the bit barrel is 100%

like the Death Star, it is 100% fully operational and ready to go and it is we are officially the seal has been broken that and we broke the seal to put the bits in then we resealed it and then uh now it is uh we're using it it is in use when we need an idea we will go to the bit barrel when we have an idea that we can't do immediately we will throw it in the bit barrel uh we are in the era of bit barrel and i'm very excited to say that it works as well as it did in my head when i came up with the idea originally and it's always great to see something actually

work and not go,

you know,

like most of our Minecraft ideas.

You go,

I love it.

I'm so happy that it's in play, that it's functional.

It's such a fun idea.

What if we all

maybe that's too much?

I was gonna say, what, like, we all know, we pretty much all know what bits are in there, but what if one of us

What if all of us,

you want to rewind it?

You want to take two?

You're here.

Here, Nick, we'll give you a countdown, and then we get ready to go.

Jesus.

All of us throw in a bit that only we know about.

So there's five mystery bits.

It's possible some of us have already been doing that.

Who's to say that someone hasn't done that already, Gavin?

Oh, shit.

Yeah.

Shit ass.

Yeah.

Oh, now we get a little disappointed.

First, Eric's searching maps and stuff in the office when he can't, and now the bit barrel's being filled as well.

He's not part of it.

What a day for gavin

today you know what speaking of days we're recording this on a day uh shockingly uh

that is the start of the vancouver canucks season which i'm really excited about yeah always exciting each year i wanted to share something with you guys it is uh one of my favorite things every year that occurs when a Canuck season starts.

Most of us, everyone outside Gavin, pretty big into sports.

I am curious if other teams do.

I can't think of any other team that does this.

It's very weird.

It's very stupid.

But

at the start of every game, they got a little hype-up video, which is very common.

But I think the Canucks ones are strangely stupid in a way that...

Because it's Vancouver, I think they feel the need to like try to make a movie out of it.

And every year they do like a cinema style opening where they have the players act and it is horrendous i have sent it to eric before the show started i will i want to share this with you guys because i'm excited i'm more excited about seeing what the opening video of this season is going to be than i am game one of their nhl season have you you not watched this yet no i've seen it this is an old one i don't the new one isn't out yet but i just wanted to give you a little taste and also just like some confirmation that that this is fucking weird that they do this.

What do you think will be better?

The video or their performance this season?

The video.

Sorry, bud.

All right, here you go.

Check it out.

So, this is called Protocol Activated.

Artificial intelligence has taken over all rival cities.

Players have been replaced by machines.

Vancouver stands as humanity's last stronghold.

We will be ready.

So, you would see this before the game starts?

Yes.

This is

insanely stupid, right?

That like nobody, those are all players

had like a like too much cash in their checking account or what?

What the fuck is this is all normal shit?

Like them players,

all the players were in tubes.

Yeah,

this has better production value than cork.

It does.

This looks better than anything we've ever made.

Ice for some reason.

What

The VR is helping award.

What the fuck, Andrew?

What is this?

Why is he on a mountain?

Is this why they lose?

Kind of.

Like, this isn't helping them at all.

No.

Do you know what they should be doing?

Practicing on the ice.

Instead of practicing, they're pretending to practice.

Yes.

I assume that's like a local news guy.

Yep.

Oh, no.

The Oilers are hacking the system.

Oh, no.

Oh, my God.

Oh, no.

Jesus Christ.

This

fucking rocks.

Andrew, I love this.

No, the Oilers are taking over.

The firewall's been breached.

Why was that guy running?

I'm disappointed in every team that I like like that doesn't do this.

I 100%, I feel the same way.

I'm with the what are the Celtics fucking doing if he's dunk montages?

Padres, wake up.

This is especially good because they were playing the Oilers, so the Oilers are in the building for this.

So it's all the players on the ice, the Oilers just going, yes, the fuck did we

hack anything?

What the fuck's a firewall?

A mainframe?

What?

Wait, is that guy?

How is that actor?

He's traded.

So they got to pull the chain as the team has won.

Because that's how you not win the Stanley Cup.

Ever.

We probably shouldn't watch this whole thing or this podcast, but fuck, dude.

I really, I want to see what happens.

Like, I need to see what happens.

Oh, the mainframe hack.

Quentin Hughes.

Oh, my God.

It's another full minute of this.

Who is that actor?

I don't know.

I I'm just a local.

No, no, no.

He's like an actual actor.

He's a ton of stuff.

He's a ton of stuff.

That's a retired Canuck.

Can't think of...

Fuck, what is he in?

Everything?

He looks like his name's Scott.

I think that was BB No Money.

Was that BB No Money?

I'm pretty sure it was.

Wow.

I feel like he's in like...

Buffy the Vampire Slayer or

yeah, yeah.

He's like Brecken Meyer, but different.

Yeah.

If the people want want to watch alongside what this was, what is it called?

Protocol activated?

This is called

Protocol V activated.

Canuck's in arena opening video.

Could you make it small?

Oh, it's Traum Eliz Petterson.

Yeah.

Are you

remove the full screen for a second?

Yeah, sure.

42k views.

That's it.

From a year ago.

Wow.

That's tough.

That was so impressive.

Helen Biscuit used an audio illusion to create a badass riff.

That's pretty cool.

I like that you called it Protocol 5 as if the name of the city is Phi Vancouver.

Yeah.

Phi Vancouver.

Yeah.

Well, here's the thing.

If I said Protocol V, then I think you would be going the other way where it would be like, wow, it's weird that you said Protocol V instead of Protocol 5, but I just don't think there's any winning in the situation.

If I was directing a video that was like Canucks versus Oilers, I would just direct a video where every player on the Canucks is on a date with the mom of someone on the Oilers.

That's pretty cool.

No, no CG.

Just like a montage of dating.

I like that.

And then, like, at some point, all the Canucks guys, they open their wallet to pay for dinner and a condom falls out.

And he's like, oops, I'm sorry.

And she puts it back in the cutter and she goes, Don't worry, you don't need it.

Oh, it touches his hand.

Yeah.

I like that.

Not specifically that premise, but the idea that you open every game with a video package that's mean for the players on the other team.

Or their families.

Just personally insulting in some way.

And like nothing's off limits.

Just attack the wags of the wives and girlfriends section and just watch the players go like, what the fuck is this?

What the fuck is this?

Hey, the vibes are slipping.

I think it's time to bring out the Velveeta Shells and G's.

The holidays are a time to go all in on indulgence.

Headline your meals with the rich, creamy meltiness of Velveeta's shells and cheese, and satisfy your holiday cravings like no other.

Bring that main course energy to your side dish.

Celebrate extra with Velveeta these holidays.

Okay, Chad, today you're gonna drive the all-electric Toyota BZ.

But my electric vehicle phobia, I'm not ready, Dr.

Ross.

I believe in you.

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh.

We're inside it.

Try to take deep breaths, okay?

Move the ventilated seats.

They're touching me.

You can do this, Chad.

Drive the car.

How do you feel, Chad?

I feel cured.

Woohoo!

I'm doing it.

I'm doing it.

The all-electric BZ.

One drive can change your mind.

Toyota, let's go places.

Hey, not to switch gears, but last week we showed an image of the

burn dogs death metal t-shirts.

We have since placed an order for the the t-shirts.

They'll be in, I don't know, probably sometime in November, honestly.

But we'll keep touch.

We'll communicate that information as we get it.

Yeah, we'll keep you updated.

But we should talk about, we decided

we were going to do some sort of a gift package or care package for the person

who deciphered it first, right?

And I don't know if, are we ready to talk about that?

We haven't really talked about it off camera, but it has been deciphered.

How it has been?

It has been?

That was the first question I was going to have.

You're the only one that knows what it was.

It has been deciphered a few times by a few different people.

Okay.

I need to sit down and I guess I'll just look at timestamps on the Patreon and YouTube and every and Reddit to see who, who timestamped first.

But

it says, oh, I'm so excited.

Eat the pencil.

Eat the pencil.

Eat the pencil.

That's fucking crazy because I was convinced that there was a Z in it.

I can see eat.

I was able to find Eat on my own, but that's about it.

It's pretty wild, but a lot of people did.

And I was amazed at the amount of work that people put into trying to figure it out, like changing the contrast and the hue and putting it through different filters to see what popped up.

And there were a lot of really funny and interesting submissions.

And I was amazed at the words people managed to swear they saw in there, but the actual words were eat the pencil.

I could see the I in pencil, but I thought there was like a

near it.

I see a Z.

I'm looking at it.

No, it's the penzil.

The penzil.

I can see a P, I guess.

It's so funny looking at it now, knowing the word doesn't help me at all in putting it together in this text.

I don't know, right?

It's such shit, but it's awesome.

It's such a cool design.

I was really happy to see that people were loving it.

And it's been so much fun seeing all of the different guesses and people fill out the lines in a way that makes sense to them.

Yeah, and it's always fun when you give the audience something to work on and have fun with and, you know, and do together and like a project.

And I was really happy to see how much people enjoyed doing that and getting, uh, getting to the bottom of it.

So I'm very excited to send out a care package.

We'll work on that in the background.

Absolutely.

Is that our first shirt that says eat the pencil?

Yeah, it's the first eat the shirt that says eat the pencil.

I can't believe we'd ever made a shirt.

Did we have a bumper sticker?

Oh, you guys.

Oh, oh, we did.

You're right.

We did.

Yeah, we did.

But it's first shirt that said eat the pencil.

Yeah, I can't believe we never just sold an eat the pencil shirt.

That's

it for this, I guess.

For this moment.

Anyway, big thanks to Bat Dog for making that.

Or our friend Burn Dog.

But he goes by Bat Dog Online if you want to look him up on Instagram.

He's got a Patreon as well if you want to throw some love his way.

I'm so stoked for this shirt.

It is like, it looks so cool.

It just agrees.

It looks so cool.

Elfamosa was excited to get it and see it, and they were blown away by it, too.

They were really excited to make it.

How many shirts sold would it take for you to eat the pencil?

How many shirts exist in the world?

So you take that number and then add, add to it.

Add one?

Add more.

If I say one, then

I can get caught up.

Hey, last week at the end of the episode, I see we're getting to the end of the episode again.

I did a little game with you guys

that I admitted.

It was the

We try to determine what animal kills more humans a year.

Well, at the same time as I came up with that game, I came up with a different one, and I would like to play that with you now if you don't mind.

Very similar.

I'm locked in.

Good guy for it.

What's the game?

This is called the TV Show Episode Game.

This is actually where I got the idea for the animals.

I was looking up just out of curiosity what television shows have had the most episodes of all time.

And I got a list.

And then I was surprised that some of the stuff was on the list.

So I started to kind of compare and contrast it.

And I came up with the TV show episode guide.

So I want, I'm going to list two television shows for you guys.

And you're just going to tell me which one has the most episodes.

Okay.

Jerry Speaker.

Like, i'll give you i'll give you an example nobody watches daytime soap operas but they're the

oh yeah like like by and large it'd be like all my children and guiding light and all so i just grabbed two guiding uh guiding light and general hospital which show do you think had more episodes

i'm gonna go with general hospital i'll go with guiding light okay is general general hospital isn't on anymore right general hospital is guiding light is not i'll go general hospital because it's what i've heard of yeah What was the name of the show Denzel Washington was on?

Was that also General Hospital?

It might be because General Hospital has had 15,766 episodes.

Guiding Light, which I compared it to, has had 15, this is why it's not, it's been gone for a couple of years, maybe like 10 years, but they managed to have 15,762 episodes.

So fucking

General Hospital has had four more episodes than Guiding Light.

I just think it's so crazy that there's wild close in the top.

Yeah.

but, uh, but like I said, nobody gives a shit about uh daytime soap operas, so I wanted to do stuff that you guys actually care about.

What do you think has had more episodes of Wheel of Fortune or Sesame Street?

Okay,

uh, I mean, that's by instinct.

Uh, because they do one every day, right?

Monday through Friday, five episodes a week.

There's Sesame Street every day,

I'm gonna go Wheel of Fortune.

I'd go Wheel of Fortune, yeah.

I would think

Wheel of Fortune, I think, is older, right?

Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

I actually don't know that it's older.

Sesame Street might be older.

I don't know.

Yeah.

I'm going to say Wheel of Fortune as well.

You would all be correct.

Wheel of Fortune has 5,118 episodes under their belt, whereas Sesame Street has a paltry 4,701.

What's shocking is those numbers feel low to me.

Yeah.

I would have guessed higher.

Yeah.

Well, you know, they have, they go they're seasonal i guess whereas

i mean that's still if you watch one general hospital might not be it would still take you over a decade to watch one a day yeah yeah that's a good point you should do that yeah yeah you should do that

what has more episodes larry king live which is clearly posthumous because he's no longer uh alive or judge judy oh I'm gonna go Larry King.

I think Larry King.

I'm gonna, oh, does this include his podcast?

Was that also called Larry King Live?

Or are we talking?

I think we're talking about the CNN.

Strictly the CNN, Eric King.

Okay.

I want to go

on this.

Eric King.

People are always getting in trouble.

So Judge Judy would need a lot of episodes because people are always complaining about stuff.

Which is what I view Judge Judy as is a complaint show.

It's not a legal show.

A complaint show?

It's just two people complaining about stuff.

I want to go on the complaint show.

Judge Judy.

Yeah, I'm going to go Judge Judy.

Okay.

Larry King Live managed to eke out 6,120 episodes.

Judge Judy has 6,280.

So she's just a little bit ahead.

Oh, wow.

But it's amazing.

I picked them because they're so close.

Larry King has time to catch up, man.

Any minute.

That is true.

All you got to do is arise from the dead.

Yep.

When I do these, they tend to have a decidedly American bent, probably because because I am American.

Yeah,

this is in America.

I didn't want to do that to you guys this time, so I picked a Canadian and a British one as well.

So this is geared more towards Gavin, but everybody feel free to chime in.

What has more episodes, East Enders or Coronation Street?

I would say Coronation Street because Coronation Street started like 30 years before he said this.

You would be correct.

11,612 episodes, East Enders, 6,900.

There's an actor who plays, I don't remember his name, William Roach or something.

He was in the first episode of Coronation Street, and sometimes he's still in it.

Oh, my God.

He's like 90 or something.

That's crazy.

I think he's got the record for the longest time portraying the same character.

Wow.

Wow.

That's interesting.

I never thought to look that up.

Andrew, this one's for you.

This is Canadian.

What has more episodes?

And by the way, I don't know what either of these things are.

These are just the only two Canadian shows that were on the list.

So I had to pick them.

Okay.

Apologize if if you don't know what they are, but I assume you will because they have a lot of episodes.

100 Huntley Street.

Never heard.

Great.

Or never heard of it.

Bobino.

I haven't heard of either of those.

I gotta go Bobino, dude.

Bobino sounds awesome.

Yeah, we're Bobino-brained over here.

I assumed 100 Huntley Street is a daytime soap opera and Bobino is a kids' show.

That does sound like a kid's show.

Do you think, sorry, before we, I'm just, I got Coronation Street on the brain.

I'm locked in on that.

I need to get this out of the system before I could lock in on this.

There are people that have worked on that show that have spent more time in their fictional home than their real home, right?

At this stage?

Oh, wow.

That's a great question.

That's a great

question.

Like, they've probably been in their fake home for like 30 years.

And if they've moved, they've certainly not spent as much time in their actual house.

They've probably spent more working hours than

anyway.

Is that Bobino, Jeff?

I think that's Bobino, from what I can tell.

Is Bobino the doll or the guy?

No clue.

Don't care.

I mean, look, let me see.

Let me evaluate.

I can't recognize Bobino.

You don't care?

I care something.

Oh, no.

I don't know what Bobino is at all.

That's kind of terrifying.

Bobino, or what was the other one called?

100 Huntley Street, I believe.

Okay.

Well.

I'm going to go with 100 Huntley Street because I feel like they're ripping off Coronation Street.

You would be correct.

10,300 episodes of 100 Huntley Street and you've seen Andrew Zero.

There are 10,000 episodes of that show, and you've seen zero.

But how many Bobino

made 5,170?

I feel like Bobino lasted until he got bored, the guy that's in it.

I don't want to be Bobino no more.

No, say no to Bobino.

I'm in a lot of Canadian media nostalgia algorithms, algorithms, and I've never seen anybody display any nostalgia or love for Bobino.

No love for Bobino?

You might be able to be, maybe you could be the one to reintroduce.

Oh, wow, number one Bobino guy.

I mean, I need to do some research for sure.

I thought we're maybe going to go with like the big comfy couch.

I don't know how many episodes they had, but it didn't show up on the list.

I'm assuming it's Canadian.

Feels very Canadian to me.

That just is like low budget and in a way that that feels Canadian to me.

What other like

classic?

I have a show.

There's a Canadian show that I want to use as a blind side that I've been thinking about ever since we even introduced the concept of it

that I'm very excited about.

Gonna deploy.

I want to give it away.

or else that would kind of feel like ruin the blind side.

But there's a 0% chance any of you have heard of this show, and I'm very excited.

Very successful in Canada.

Okay.

Okay.

And there's 0% chance we've heard of it.

I would say 0.

Let me look at this list.

Do you just put it in?

That's just the list of the 50 most episodic or episoded television shows of all time.

And I just sorted it by country so you could see that those are the only two Canadians.

Pleasant goat and big, big wolf.

3000 Y is the blue cat.

I haven't.

Okay, well, those are China.

That's why I haven't heard of them.

I was just showing you that there's only two canadians those two which is the only two i could use enjoy yourself tonight is a great name for a show we're talking so many of them still going looks like bobino was a children's show that lasted for 28 seasons from 1957 to 1985 which would make sense why andrew hasn't seen it and 100 huntley street is a daily talk show in canada that's still going

i'm fighting do i just show do i just reveal a blind side and make us watch it anyway andrew i think you guys will want to watch it.

You should get Gavin on 100 Huntley Street as his television representative.

Oh,

I'll answer all the questions.

Let me.

I'm going to reveal a blind side that I've been sitting on, and we are going to watch this at some point.

It's not going to be blind, though.

No, it's just.

Yeah, it's just going to be side.

I don't think you should.

I think you just got to stop yourself by now.

Yeah, I think you have to hang on to it.

I understand the desire.

Listen, sitting on two blind sides right now that I'm fucking, they're eating a hole in my blind side pockets.

I got to wait till 2026 for one of them.

It's killing me.

I want to do it yesterday.

You got to do it.

I've done some Sesame Street maths.

If I watched one episode a day

all the way through, I would be Jeff's age by the time I finished.

Wow.

You should do that.

Just think of all the stuff you're going to learn about colors and numbers and letters, too.

All the stuff I missed in the hallway.

We got to wrap up here

at time and everything.

But I wanted to get an armpit update from Jeff and see how he's feeling.

Oh, take it out.

Let me tell you guys, my armpits are 100%.

I'm back to normal.

I'm totally back to normal.

It's completely gone.

It went away.

I have made a permanent switch to spray on deodorant, though, because I've been using some in the interim and it seems to work fine.

And so I think I've just made a life change.

I think it was a traumatic enough experience that it's made me not want to trust

Stick the Under ever again.

And yeah, but I'm feeling fine.

I thank you so much.

I'm sleeping well.

I can raise my arms

over my chest without ripping any scabs.

Everything is good.

I appreciate it.

You're walking around like a boss in a video game.

You just had points.

You had bright red weak points.

I did.

Yeah.

My bats was lit up.

You just lock onto them.

Yeah.

What's everyone's burger count while we're doing a little cleanup?

Current burger counts are Andrew, 24.

Nick, 11.

Eric, 9.

Sorry.

Jeff, 20.

Gavin, 3.

That's pretty good for Gavin.

3.

That's pretty good.

You're nearly eclipsing your hot dog count.

Oh, shit.

You're right.

And it's early.

It's only the beginning of October.

I assume we're not going to mention the thing we have to refilm until that's out.

We can't.

We can't.

Oh, should we talk about that?

You were supposed to.

I guess we should talk about that.

Because I still don't know why we're doing it.

Maybe neither.

That's no idea.

I do.

So the other day we went and

we filmed The Onioning of the Car.

And part of the problem with this podcast is that we have an idea, a brilliant idea sometimes,

and then we have to sit on it for three, four, five, six months sometimes.

And in the interim, we have a bunch of other ideas, and those ideas get all jumbled in our heads.

And for me, as I get older and a little more frail, it gets a little harder to separate all these ideas out and they kind of become a mess.

And I get kind of lost in the sauce because we just, we don't, sometimes we don't, our execution isn't great.

From idea to execution is sometimes

the Mojave Desert event.

So much preamble for something he fucked up.

The longer the preamble, the worse it is.

I'm just explaining.

I'm just explaining.

So we went to onion the car, which was an idea that I had after Emily and I ate at a specific restaurant north of Austin.

And then we couldn't get the onion smell out of her car for fucking about a week, right?

And so we borrowed her car.

We drove up.

We caravanned up there.

We went to this hamburger place.

We all got hamburgers.

You can see it in the video that's already out by this point.

And

something didn't feel right to me.

I remembered the onions being diced when I ate them last.

This time they were whole onions on the burgers.

I was so confused by it that I went through and got a second different burger just to see if with extra onions, just to see if it came differently.

And I was still perplexed.

Then got home.

Asked Emily to check to see if the onion, if the car smelled onion-y.

And then through the course of that conversation, she let me know that the reason that the onions uh didn't onion the car is because when we went,

well, actually, Nick, you figured it out immediately.

You texted me and you said, I know what happened, and you were dead on right.

Do you want to say what it was?

Well, when we went through, we ordered burgers, but when Jeff and Emily went through, they ordered hot dogs.

You're a fucking idiot.

That was correct.

You're a fucking idiot.

That is correct.

We were in our hot dog era.

And now that we're in our hamburger era.

So stupid.

I had, listen, I see everything.

I see everything through a hamburger lens in 2026, 2025.

What do you want me to do?

So I just,

I got hamburger on the blame because we're in the midst of a hamburger film.

But I think if you go back, if you go back and listen to Onioning the Car, I think when you told us the story, you said it was hamburgers too.

I'm pretty sure you did.

I'm pretty sure the whole time it's been hamburgers, you're not going through a hamburger lens because it's right now.

I'm pretty sure you've said hamburgers the whole time.

Oh, I don't know that that's true, and I don't know that anybody can even go back and listen to that to find out.

So that means this video will be out by this time, but I actually haven't edited it yet because I was waiting on like a Jeff clip.

But

no one in the comments will know why it's wrong either.

Right, because they don't understand.

Like, they don't know.

I mean, it might, they might in the clip that you get from Emily.

The button for the end of the episode.

I just like, you're not absolved of this.

Like, Like, this is too much.

You're trying to be absolved.

You're not trying to be absolved.

With all your preamble and everything, it sounded like you're really letting yourself off the hook for this one.

No, no, no, no.

Listen, listen.

I'm in the middle of this.

Listen, with all this time that we put between these things, and I'm getting older, and the idea is so.

I'm giving context.

I'm giving rich context.

You're letting yourself off the hook.

I'm paying attention to the holidays.

You're letting yourself steal the audience to swim in.

I'm getting hard here, goddammit.

Obviously, I'm at fault.

Also, if you like this screaming, if you like this screaming, you should definitely drive in a car with Jeff as he missed turn after turn.

He doesn't listen.

Oh, he's not paying attention to the road.

Here we go.

We're just getting closer and closer to not being where we need to be.

I appreciate the context.

And also,

I love the fact that in the video, which I still haven't edited,

it's such a small part of the video.

It's the actual bug of it.

Oh, it's non-existent.

I imagine it's non-existent in the video because we just go, this is it, huh?

The rest of the video is screaming in a car.

That's why in the same week on my calendar is Onion the Car Part 1 releases.

And on Friday, as

a shooting thing, Re-Onion the Car.

Yeah,

we got to do the experiment properly.

Now that we've discovered my mistake, we will correct it and remedy it.

And then we will see if the onion is onioned-y.

Yeah.

So around the time you're watching Onion the Car, just know that we'll be re-onioning the car.

Nick says episode 40 is the original onioning, so you can go back and listen to it.

Wow.

Hot dogger hamburger.

Yeah, that was a long time ago.

Yeah, dude, we're on episode 75.

It was 35 weeks ago.

Pretty sure.

35 fucking weeks ago.

I feel like, Jeff, your preamble is wrong as well in the sense of, if anything, you were too sharp.

You were consistent across all that time.

Yeah,

I think, Andrew, you might be right.

You guys are, first off, you guys are remembering one word I said 35 fucking weeks ago?

That's because I've always envisioned this as a hamburger.

I've always had like a hundred years ago.

Maybe it's the fact that you all envisioned it as a hamburger that fucked me up and tripped me up.

Maybe it's like maybe it is your fault.

Maybe it is all your fault.

I was ready to take the blame, but now I see clearly.

Now I see that it's your fault.

It's four of you that did it wrong, not me.

I am correct.

And thank you, audience, for listening to another episode of the Regulation Podcast.

We sure enjoyed entertaining you, and we hope we did entertain you.

And if we did entertain you, maybe check out our Patreon, maybe check out our YouTube channels, maybe tell a friend about the regulation podcast and then tune back in next week for episode 76.

It's going to be onion-y.

You said hamburger.

Still wrong.

We'll see.

So it was always wrong.

It was either always wrong or not always.

Either way, I'm wrong, but it's a matter of was I wrong?

Yeah, I know, I know.

I've been in the car

inconsistently.

I'm excited to get in the car again, Texas.

Five, four,

three.

Hold on.

Hold on.

Hold on.

No, that's right.

Five.

Four.

Oh, three.