"Paul Rudd"

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So, listen, this is this is I know Sean's favorite part of the show.

The coldoe.

Super fun, yeah.

The shatten shoe.

Well, but no, no, no.

That, that

is his really favorite part of the show is what follows here.

After the fun music, he gets to do his coffee chat.

But right now, he sort of welcomes the listener in.

How you doing?

How's everybody?

He gets a sense of everything.

Asks everybody how you do it.

And then like a little funny quip, like, what's the bit going to be?

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Or I could do a dad joke.

You know,

I could do like something like, I could do something like asking.

Or no, you could do that.

Yeah.

Or you could just say to our audience, you could just say, hi.

Hi.

Welcome to Smartless.

Welcome to Smartless.

Smart.

Smart.

Smart.

I have to say something.

Okay.

This year, you guys, both of two of my best friends in the whole world, you, both of you, are doing some of the best work I've ever seen you do.

I'm hanging out with Will on the set of his movie, and I've seen some footage, and Will, the work is truly, truly incredible.

This is what I'm hearing.

Truly incredible.

Mind-blowing.

I've never seen it.

People are going to be blown away.

Not surprised.

And Jay, when I, Jay, when I sat down and watched Black Rabbit, I've already spoken about it.

This year is so exciting.

I'm so excited for people to see both of you in these two incredible pieces, and I know you cringe when I say this: pieces of art because I do believe that they're super coming from

the rainy

award-winning.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, that's not why I said it.

That's not why I said it.

No, but you set the tone

for us.

You kind of let out, and you know, what a buffo!

Great, spicy from the Damascus.

And now, and now it was unexpected.

Nobody thought.

Watch him go back.

That's as he's getting yanked out.

Nobody.

I have a good.

Wait, I have a.

When do we start recording this episode, you guys?

Because I got a hard ass.

Sean, your guess is going crazy.

Do you want me to?

I know I'm going to get there, but do you want me to ask you guys a thoughtful question that we can riff on, or I can have a joke, or we can just get to the gap.

Choice of patter today, huh?

Yeah.

What do you want?

What's up?

Wow.

You've had some time.

We haven't done one of these in a couple of weeks.

I guess you've got some.

That's what I'm saying.

I'd love a dad joke.

I'd like a joke.

A dad joke.

Okay, well, this is it.

I have, okay, I can do a dad joke.

I can also do a good, this is a great joke I just heard yesterday.

Fuck, you have genres of jokes, too?

You have subsections to your

all right.

So

this guy, this patient is in your, that patient is in a urologist's office, and the doctor says, well, the result is that you got to stop masturbating.

And the patient says, why?

And the doctor says, because I'm talking to you.

I love it.

Oh, really?

I thought that was funny.

I love it.

I love it.

Oh, wait.

Wait, I kind of like that, but I don't have it.

You know what?

It's old.

How about this?

Yeah, go ahead.

Why did the Mexican take anti-anxiety medication?

Careful.

For Hispanic attacks.

Oh, that's all right.

That's okay.

I feel like that's okay.

I feel like that's okay.

That's great.

Yeah.

But also, also, for the record, no reaction.

Absolutely zero reaction.

Story of my life.

Right here.

You're in America guffawing now.

Guys, my guest today, who's far funnier than I am, grew up in the Kansas City area, and he's a die-hard.

Jason Sadekis.

Die-hard Kansas City Chiefs fan.

He's the co-owner of a candy store in Rhinebeck, New York.

Paul Rudd.

And he once said his

stand youthful

eight hours of sleep.

You got a very successful people often still mistake him for Ben Affleck.

He met his wife when looking for a publicist after filming Clueless.

It's the hilarious, delightful, and widely talented Paul Rudd.

What?

Paul?

Wait, did you guys hear?

Slight reveal.

That's twinkling his mouth.

Slight reveal.

This is long.

Wait, how did you know he was?

Let me tell you something.

Guys, there's only a few.

There's Claire McCaskill.

There's Rob Riggle.

There's Jason Sedakis.

And there's all that.

How do you know?

Paul, do you get mistaken for Claire McCaskill a lot?

I get a lot of her emails.

and uh

it's usually when they talk about the uh the three from KC

the big three it's uh it's Sudeikas me and Cass McCaskill how how has it taken this long for Sean I feel like this is Sean's fault

any earlier than now and uh now finally uh you've given us a manageable price aline kashishi

and here was rough in the negotiations.

She hanged us up on this shit.

Are you with Aline too, Paul?

Yeah.

Yeah, there's a package.

That's your manager.

That's that's great always she's great great back when she was in she was my agent when she was an assistant that's uh that's how far back we go yeah no way oh wow how about that wait a second so so she was working the phones for the for the real agent and that real agent kind of siphoned you off on the junior slash receptionist icm it was right on right since kind of clueless yeah wow wow and and uh wait i want to go back because i didn't know you own a candy store can you talk to me about the candy store please sure like where are you going?

Where is the address on it?

Well, it's called Samuel's Sweet Shop, and it's in Rheinbeck, New York.

And it was, it was, uh, it was started by a guy named Ira.

And

he was, it was just this sweet guy.

And

he passed away, sadly, when he was very young.

And

we didn't want the candy store to kind of go away because it's, it's not a big place, not a big town.

And, and all the high school kids would work there and everyone needs a candy store.

And so Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Hillary Burton, who are neighbors of mine,

yeah, let's.

Yeah.

I know me some Jeffrey Dean.

You do?

I like that guy.

I like all his performances.

Anyway, we went in and another guy named Andy Ostroy,

we went in and bought the candy store.

And now we're Rheinbeck is that you can't walk there from the city, right?

That's a trip.

You can.

It'll take you a while.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You'd need a lot of candy to fuel it.

Yeah.

Is it like a two-hour drive?

It's about a two-hour drive.

Yeah, about an hour, depending on if you're leaving from the upper west side, it's about an hour and 45.

Well, I'll leave.

I'll get a head start.

Jenny Slate also owns a small store like upstate New York.

Massachusetts.

Oh, never mind.

Moving on.

A general storage.

She's a general storage.

Are we going to start going down?

Sean, you want to start listing people who also own businesses?

Come on down to T5 and let us know.

Paul's got a candy store in Rheinback, okay?

Started by Arnold.

And that's it.

Wait, so go back.

So

you met Aline that way, and then you met your wife because you were looking for a publicist.

Is that right?

Yes.

Well, I was the director of Clueless.

You were the director?

Oh, Amy Heckling.

So Amy Heckling said, after we filmed Clueless, I knew nothing about anything.

I still don't that much, really.

Were you clueless?

Yeah.

I was clueless.

Well done, you welcome to Smartless.

Guys, we got it.

We're cooking with gas tables.

Emphasis on smart.

I mean, yeah.

By the way, I love Julie, your wife, Julie.

She's awesome.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah.

And she loves you.

Julie, that's what it is.

Thank you.

She loves you guys.

And she said, say hi, and she also said say nice things about her.

So I love my wife and she's an avid listener.

And then we just hear the page flip.

And then you just.

And no, it's enough of her.

And so,

yeah, so what were you talking about?

I was talking about meeting Julie, looking for a publicist on Clueless, Amy Necker.

Paul, you're upstate.

So you meet your wife, Julie, you meet her through, she's your publicist.

We've been through that.

I mean, let's just get down to that.

Here are the brass.

Nobody really cares.

You are a guy who is

working at the highest level for over 30 years.

And I mean that in a way.

You have been consistently doing stuff.

Comedy, drama, all this stuff.

Like, right?

Always.

No missteps.

No missteps.

Yeah, now I wonder if you.

No, not even, not even Hollow.

No, Halloween 6, not even that.

I saw that.

You were fucking great in that.

That was 75 years ago.

That was so funny.

That was the first thing I ever did, the first movie.

No, was it really?

Is that true?

Yeah.

Now, had you seen the first five parts

in the storyline?

I've seen all of them.

I saw all of them.

You saw them all.

Yeah, I love them.

I saw the first and loved it.

There was five more.

Is that ever?

No, there was.

No, he was

even more than that.

Yeah.

The first is a classic.

When you get to six,

plot holes.

What are you talking about?

I love that.

There's some shark jumping.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Do you end up getting killed in that one, spoiler?

No, I survived.

Do you get a good shot in on him?

I remember, yeah.

We get into it.

We had some scrapes.

Yeah, no, now, because you've done so many movies, do you really truly remember?

Sorry, what Jason's asking.

Yeah, no, wait, I want to wrap.

what was the weapon that you guys were tossling with?

Oh, you and Mike Myers.

I think I hit him with a pipe.

Okay.

I think I maybe hit him with a pipe.

That's a good choice.

So you stun him for a second, but then he continues.

He never runs.

It didn't kill him.

No, that's what's horrifying about Mike Myers is that he never runs.

He just walks because he's going to get you.

He walks.

He's going to take his time.

Did you ever do a tie-in around Halloween at the candy store with like photos of yourself from the Misteals from the movie?

That would be good.

That's a great.

Thank you, Will.

That's a great thing.

I don't know.

I haven't done it.

Yeah.

I I haven't really done that yet, but maybe you will be this year.

Write this stuff down.

So you end up surviving six, but was not

in seven.

Did you know?

They didn't ask me about seven.

They did like a cast change like Fargo or I think they kind of got,

I want to say in seven, it might have been Josh Hartnett.

They did a white lotus swap.

That might have been H2O.

Oh, H2O.

I remember that came back strong in seven.

If I had been a reviewer of seven and knowing and that you weren't in it, my headline for my review would have been all trick and no treat.

Oh, geez.

You know?

Oh, man.

You know, Paul, you're in a pretty special episode of Smart so far.

We're only 31 minutes in.

That's really so much.

And we are not even in the first place.

29 of which my microphone went down.

But

I did want.

I know.

Can I just know also how fun it is just, you know, when to listen to you guys?

Keep your knees bent.

We're only halfway through.

To listen to you guys before I come on and to hear the jokes, which I really, really liked.

Did you like my urologist joke?

I did like the urologist.

You're the one.

Yeah.

I'm a fan of the dad jokes.

I heard one not that long ago that I really liked, which was

where do McKid melons go for the summer?

Where?

Where?

To John Cougar's Melon Camp.

Nice.

That's a good one.

I've remembered my urologist joke.

Guy put us in for a prostate exam.

No, No, Jesus.

No, that's fine.

Watch this.

Paul, watch this.

It's not going to happen.

We don't have any

prostate exam joke.

No, Paul, watch how you bless it and joke.

Keep going, Jason.

Watch this.

Go.

I will try to fall right

across.

Right before I chest the tape, I will fall.

Here we go.

So guy walks into urologists.

Hey, he's got to get his prostate exam.

And so he's got to lean over the table.

He's got to get the old.

And so the doctor says, okey doke, here we go.

This time, Jimmy, no hard on.

And the guy turns around and says, my name's Bill.

He goes, yeah, no, I'm Jimmy.

Yeah.

That's not even fun.

I've heard Jason try to tell the joke face.

By the way, it's a great joke.

Sometimes he's like, and the guy Paul says, and then Paul says, Jimmy, and he goes, Bill, I'm not Paul.

I'm Jimmy.

And I'm like, what are you?

And I looked at him like, what are you doing?

Listen, I don't write.

I speak.

Wait, we're going to get, we're going to get to the point.

Okay, here's the thing.

Here, Sean, Sean, I'm going to grab the reins here.

So, Paul.

What are you talking about?

I've been trying to.

You're all gussied up on pop-tarts.

Paul, so I was saying that you've been at the top of level.

So

you start out of the gate.

Sure, you do Halloween 6.

It's amazing.

But then you do like clue.

You just do so many movies.

So how was it that you came?

What was the thing?

First of all, what was your first professional job?

Not necessarily a movie, but how did you know?

Like, it seems like you've been doing it at the highest level from moment one.

But what was moment one for you?

Like, how did you, how did you leave Kansas City?

What was that thing?

Did you?

Oh, yeah.

I didn't have any of those questions prepared.

Go ahead.

Well, fuck, we're 25 minutes in, man.

Whose fault is that?

Paul's microphone.

It is, totally.

It's this weak connection that I have.

Thank you for saying that, Will.

It's not, it's,

I don't think it's totally true.

I've made many missteps, and I've been very fortunate in many instances.

But when I was a kid, I just loved comedians.

I loved watching

SNL and all of that stuff and listening to Steve Martin albums.

And

I think that, you know, when I was kind of in school, we had speech class.

We had a radio and TV class.

I loved watching the David Letterman show.

And I used to start making little videos like he used to do.

And I used to.

perform in speech competitions.

And when I was, you know, I want to say about 16 years old, my neighbor in Kansas City said, what do you think you want to study?

What do you think you want to

pursue?

And I said, I don't know.

I like the arts and I like drawing and all of that.

And he said, what about an actor?

It seems like that's something that you would maybe like to do.

And I think it was some kind of lightning bolt moment where I thought, yeah, maybe that is what I'd like to do.

Because I've certainly always liked.

funny stuff and movies and everything else.

And it feels like from that moment on, I decided, oh, this is exactly what I'm going to try and pursue.

And I then went to school for it and I studied it.

And what was these, what was this humorous interpretation thing?

Because we had something similar in high school, but it was called forensics.

I don't know why it was.

Yeah, forensics, exactly.

This is, it was called forensics in Kansas City, too.

And sometimes I would tell people I study forensics and they think it's like what Quincy did.

Yeah, right.

Quincy.

Yeah, Quincy medicine.

For all the young listeners, Quincy.

Do we know why it's called forensics, Sean?

I don't.

I don't.

And in high school, people would be standing against a wall and talking to it.

And I didn't know what they were doing, but they were rehearsing, but really close to a wall and talking to a wall.

I thought that was the weirdest thing.

But now I get it.

They were just rehearsing their monologue or their forensics or whatever it was.

You sure you weren't institutionalized?

You weren't in an institution at that point.

It looks like an institution.

You may have still been at the hospital, Sean.

It wasn't even comedic forensics.

Well, there were different categories.

There was dramatic interpretation, humorous interpretation,

prose and poetry, improvised duet acting.

And

yeah.

And we will be right back.

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And now back to the show.

So, Paul, I heard you were a DJ for a while, right?

Well, I mean, barely.

You know, I thought it was like a long time.

I did.

I know.

I really did.

I really did DJ.

But when you say to people that, you know, oh, I used to DJ, that sounds like it was kind of a cool thing.

But the way I DJ'd was not cool in

weddings and bar mitzvahs and stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Bar mitzvahs.

And by the way, eventually it was that.

The first time I DJed

was

I was in high school.

It was just an iceberg truck.

And I went.

Nobody, they're like, what?

We don't even have equipment in this thing.

I was trying to get a job as a waiter.

I was in high school.

And

and i went to different restaurants and i had really long hair and i didn't want to cut my hair because

uh

i i was

i was a i was a cheese ball and i'm like i gotta keep this yeah

you're crushing it and so and so i was getting rejected at every um

waiting uh you know, application I'd fill out.

Like, there's no way I couldn't get a job.

And I went to this bar called Stew de Bakers, which was like a 50s bar in Kansas City.

Had to be 23 to get in.

They didn't want any of the younger crowd.

Wow.

Sure.

Yeah.

They didn't even want new drinkers.

You had to have at least

23-year-olds who, like, who's going to go to a 50s bar anyway?

Right.

You had to be born in the 50s to get in.

To even want to go to this place.

That's funny.

And

so I went to try and get a job, and and they said, we're not hiring.

And I saw that they had a DJ booth.

And I said, do you need a DJ?

Because I also DJ, which is not true.

I didn't.

But they said,

actually, we do.

But here's the thing.

At Stude Baker's, every hour on the hour, we do these things called showtimes where all the waiters hop on the bar and they do like

bored in a hand jive or some dumb

dance thing.

Sean, we don't need to.

The next sentence out of your mouth doesn't need to be, you mean like this?

Like this.

Or are they still in business?

Or what are their hours?

Hadress baddies?

Any of those sentences are a no.

So you lied.

So you lied, but you knew you had a stack of wax in the car.

So I lied, and they said, well, here's the thing.

You got to audition because we do these showtimes.

So

I had to audition with a lip sync of a 50s song.

Which one?

I know you said.

So I chose Volar.

Oh, Vol.

Yeah.

And

which was, I just thought it'd be funny because it's in, you know, Italian.

And,

but I put on a tuxedo and a pompadour to cover my long hair.

My hair like an Elvis wig, right?

And so anyway, I got the job.

Yeah.

And then they saw that I had really long hair and they said, you got to cut your hair.

We're a 50s bar, not a 60s bar.

And I said, well, I won't do it.

So they made me wear the Elvis wig every time I worked.

Oh, you wore the pompadour every time?

Yeah.

And it was also a really bad pompadour.

So it was a really cheap wig.

And so it started to lose its pompadour shape and it just turned into like a big, weird black tuft of something.

And when I was working, people didn't realize that I had long hair.

and had to cover it up.

So they just thought I was some young kid with this weird wig.

I don't know what they thought.

But anyway,

that started my DJing career.

Well, you know what?

It reminds me, you make me think, you know, you hear about, you know, famously, Michael Jordan when he had his Hall of Fame speech.

And then he, you know, he's being celebrated for being the greatest basketball player.

And then he harped.

He really harped on like his high school coach who cut him from the basketball team and all the people who didn't like right like that.

He still hung on to that.

And I think we should get stickers made up and go around to these Kansas City establishments that rejected you.

Stick it on the front window.

This place rejected Paul Rudd.

Yeah, right?

Really let that stink linger on him.

You know what I mean?

Your hiring practices are ridiculous.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Are ridiculous.

Yeah, that's great.

Speaking of your original last name was Rudn Rudsky.

Rudnitsky?

Rudnitsky?

What is it?

Rudnitsky.

Down like way back, not while I was born or my grandparents, but way back, great-great-grandparents.

Yeah, wow,

Polish,

like Russian, Belarus, that Eastern European, yeah.

Have you done the thing where you do the whole look back and, like, do you know, do you know, do you know your people, what they did, where they were, yeah, the wars they fought?

Yeah, and I found uh

found that it was mainly kind of like in an area of Belarus, yeah,

something called a town called Holmec.

Oh, well,

anybody's listening from Holmec, follow your boy, you know.

But now, wait, so Paul, you, you, let me tell you if I got this right.

You were born in Jersey, moved to Kansas City, had a bar mitzvah in Canada.

Your parents were from England.

Yeah.

So you were almost

in Canada.

This is now I'm interested.

Yeah.

I mean, why so many different places?

Well, I...

Being, you know, everyone in my family was kind of, was British, both my parents, everyone was kind of around London.

My grandparents were in London, but they, we moved to the States

and then, or my parents did anyway.

Uh, most of the family went to Canada, and so I had grandparents and aunts and uncle in uh in Toronto and and in the GTA.

No, he really knows it.

I know Friday,

and he said Toronto, too.

He, this is

real, yeah.

I'd walk to the byeway, get my Empire Strikes back cards in French.

Yes, um,

are you still a Maple Leaf boy?

Pass the Mr.

Submarine.

This is all for you, Will.

This is such good stuff, Pizza Pizza Nisa.

Mr.

Sub, though, isn't it?

Mr.

Sub, it's now Mr.

Sububub.

Did you live in Canada?

No, but I'd been going there my whole life.

Yeah.

And so most of my relatives

were in Canada.

So when I had to get a bar mitzvah,

my parents said, well, just do it in Canada because that's where most of of the family is.

Where was it?

In Canada?

In Toronto?

In Toronto, yeah.

No way.

Paul, come home.

Come home.

Wait, and so your mom.

By the way, great.

Yeah, I will.

So your parents, so your parents are in England.

Your dad was a tour guide or something

and was the vice president of TWA and your mom.

Oh, no, he wasn't the vice president.

That would have been nice.

No, he did work for TWA.

TWA was

the airline

TWA.

Their hub was in Kansas City, which is why we wound up in Kansas City.

Oh, I see.

Got it, got it, got it.

When my dad left London when he was a kid, he was about nine years old, and then they moved to New Jersey, his family, and they were in Patterson, New Jersey.

And

but he eventually started working with TWA before I was born, and he kept getting job transfers.

So we moved around a lot when I was a kid.

I was born in New Jersey, and then I lived in New Jersey, and then I moved to Kansas for about a year, and then I moved to California for a few years and then I moved back to Kansas.

So we moved around quite a bit as

what about all the moving around and stuff?

Was there like that?

It's giving me anxiety.

All the schools,

all the kids.

Oh, look at the kids.

Did you grow up in one spot?

Yes.

Did you always?

I mean, Jason, you were always LA.

Since I was seven, I've been in Los Angeles.

Yeah.

Where were you before that?

I was in Salt Lake City from four to seven.

I was in Boston from two to four.

And I was in New York from zero to two,

just

outside in Royal Right.

Oh, beautiful.

But what about what about you adapting into all those different environments?

Did you have a sibling to sort of protect you or did you do the protecting?

I have a younger sister.

She's two and a half years younger than me.

And

I think, yeah, we always were just kind of the new kids in school.

We got very used to it.

We didn't really know any different.

But like, did that shape your, at an age where you're kind of learning your personality and kind of what your what your strong suit is and what isn't you know are you funny are you

like did it did you find that you were perhaps made you nicer earlier because you had to be accepted by these new groups all the time uh-huh yeah possibly i yeah i sometimes think that you know a good way to kind of ingratiate yourself or just not get your ass kicked is to just be kind of pleasant and if you can make somebody laugh then you can be accepted a little bit easier yeah I certainly was drawn and always have been drawn to people who are funny I mean my dad was hilarious

and I think that

you know when I'd be yeah probably in some new school or something I was I'd go home and I'd listen to those Steve Martin records or you know that album get small did you ever listen to that yeah what about British humor because my mom's British as well and she really shaped my my taste in in dry kind of no

you know,

humor.

Did your dad do that for you?

Well, I think that, you know, some of the earliest things I can really remember laughing at was they used to show Monty Python's Flying Circus on PBS.

Yeah, I loved it.

And my parents loved it and we'd watch it and I thought it was hilarious.

I never really understood or thought in terms of like British comedy or a British sensibility, but I did always respond to that.

And then when Faulty Towers was on, it was just one of my favorite shows.

But it's like, you know, oh, you guys like that?

Monty Python's a great example.

Oh, holy shit, there's no way you guys like Faulty Towers, Sean.

Oh, Sean, you really like that?

Fucking let the world know, man.

Yeah, you just discovered this.

Um,

there's, but like Monty Python, there's like there's the broad half of the troop, and then there's like the dry half of the troop.

Like, there's Michael Palin, you know, being crazy and goofy, and then you cut to John Cleese, and he's just blinking at him like you fool.

Which were you drawn to?

Was it the John Cleese side since you went to Faulty Towers?

Well, Cleese is always, yeah, hilarious.

I think that, I think I just, there was an absurdity to it.

And there was also something, it might have been the first time, and maybe why I was drawn to Steve Martin as well, but it was like, oh my God.

There are grownups that are being completely silly.

I remember that Twit of the Year competition as a kid and crying.

I couldn't believe how funny it was to see these grown-ups acting this way.

Yeah, yeah.

And I mean, there was still so much with same with Steve Martin, where it was this kind of

ridiculous, I'm getting happy feet kind of thing.

Right.

Yeah.

I want to know about glazing hams because that was one of your odd jobs out of school.

What do you mean, glazing hams?

What does that even mean?

It means exactly.

It means glazing hams.

Yeah.

Like, what is that, though?

What do you mean?

You work at honey baked ham?

No, that was our competitor.

Sorry.

No, no.

What do you mean glazing them, though?

It's still touchy.

Yeah, it's a hot spot.

Look,

just please don't bring that up to anyone at Holiday Ham Company because they had a real issue with honey baked.

Wait, but how do you glaze a ham?

Like, what do you do?

It's a whole process, Sean.

Let's keep it clean.

Sounds like a YouTube how-to video.

How do you glaze it?

Is it like in a factory?

No, no.

It was in a mini mall.

um oh i see like personalized yeah there was it was like a it was a standalone store oh got baked i believe is a chain isn't it okay right got it yeah i just wanted to be really curious no i don't mean to besmirch honey baked no no no no no no no nobody took it that way no no no no thanks

there's one thing i don't want to do it's piss off the people at honey baked hand no old age

you do you don't have a target on your back now don't worry from the gang over at honey glazed okay um

i love yeah, go ahead.

Oh, no, no, what do you love?

No, you go, you go.

What are you going to say?

Guys, don't fight.

All right.

I worked.

You go.

Jesus.

No, you go.

This is a great place.

It is a great place.

It almost seems

I want to know where you worked.

I want to know where you worked.

Oh.

I worked at the Holiday Ham Company.

No, you're going to say something else about working.

So I worked at this place.

Yeah.

And

it was a whole, when I say it was a whole process, I would get there very early in the morning and I would unload a truck filled with ham.

Naked ham.

These aren't glazed yet, right?

These are unglazed.

Oh, you're just unglazed hams.

By the way,

this isn't like

pigs hanging in a truck.

These were ham hawks.

Are they hawks?

Like Yundi.

Sure.

And they were cryovaced.

Vacuum sealed.

Oh, wow.

And what I would have to do is unload a truck at like five in the morning, and then I would have to cut open

their sheaths.

Yes, exactly.

Cut open the plastic.

And then

I would have to put them, these entire ham hocks.

So far, I haven't heard one thing that we're going to keep in the episode, but go ahead.

Yeah.

No, no, this is absolutely, it's boring myself as I even listen to myself.

So there you are.

You're unloading.

You got a truck full of unloads.

So I got to put it on a thing.

I slice it.

I dice out a whole thing.

I got to cut it in half with a saw.

I put it on a spit.

And then I take a propane torch and a sugar sifter.

And I have to wear protective gear on my wrists.

Same approach to acting.

Same approach to your acting.

That's exactly right.

That is how I approach all of my roles.

How long were you?

Were you longer in this job than you were

at the Bevick's place, the 50s joint?

Oh, at the

Studebakers.

Yeah, at Studebaker's.

I went from Studebakers to Holiday Ham Company.

So, you know.

Did you cut your hair before you were handling those hams?

Sorry, can I ask, did you have the long hair when you were handling the hams or did you have any hair?

Yeah, they didn't care.

But you had to put that shit in a net, though, didn't you?

By the way, I think I had it in a net.

Yeah.

And

it was in a net.

I was in the back.

So if I was up front dealing with customers,

they would snap that off.

There's no way they'd comb it out.

Now,

I can only imagine, though, you know, at least one or two of those long hairs were getting glazed into the ham.

I just thought it would be a good Italian place called I Can Only Imagine.

It's just cannolis.

It's terrible.

It's terrible stuff.

It's Saturday.

It's Saturday, and it's free.

And it's free.

So go ahead, Sean.

Sean, get to your laundry list of questions and forget trying to have a conversation with Paul Ruddy.

Let me help you.

Go down and fucking check off your fucking.

We got a fucking rudd here.

He's one of the most handsome, by the way, Paul.

And I've seen it in this stuff before.

You look, you always look so fucking good.

So handsome.

You're so handsome.

You're so good.

We're around the same age.

What are you doing?

Just honestly, just an email with an airplane.

Olive oil bag.

Eight hours a day.

You say the most important thing is eight hours a day.

That's what you say.

It isn't what I say.

I think I said something about sleep once where it was like, oh, yeah, this is this, you try and get enough sleep.

But I sleep a lot.

I don't look anything like that.

Can I, can I, you know what the secret is?

What?

Love.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

That's our time.

That's our time.

Oh, no.

Love and Love and laughter.

You saved it, no.

Julie, I'll have you back now.

Who knew?

This is...

We'll be right back.

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And now back to the show.

No, seriously, Paul, anything weird ever happened on stage real quick before we're out on

well, yeah, you did a lot of theater.

I don't know if you listen to the podcast, but I love good theater stories where something went wrong.

Oh, of course.

Yeah.

I do.

You have anything ready?

Or you can sub it out for a Star Wars story if you ever on that.

I have lots of other questions of great theater stories.

Yeah, yeah.

Something bad happened in the theater.

Something.

Oh, something really bad.

Yeah.

No, no, I've had.

I actually,

well, I've done a show where somebody died in the audience on stage oh in the audience

there was a death there was a death in the audience there was somebody uh went to the um to the bathroom in like the fourth row that was an interesting thing to get a whiff of that during the scene no way somebody somebody lost control of their balance so not only did you kill but you acted the shit out of that part

well it wasn't me that did it oh yeah no that would be actually that would be that would be horrible.

Wait, what was the show?

And somebody really died?

Somebody died last night of Bally Who was the show.

These were two separate occasions.

Okay.

Unless I'm conflating them and they shit themselves in when they die.

Because that often happens.

By the way, it's often,

I think it even happens in the other order where it's like you die and then you wind up shitting yourself.

That's a shake that happens.

So wait, so the person died.

I've had somebody, by the way, I've also done a show where somebody,

in the middle of a scene, I heard a bunch of commotion in the audience and then didn't realize, it didn't subside.

So it's like, what is happening?

Only later came to realize that somebody in the front row of the balcony leaned over and puked on all of the people below the show.

Oh my.

Swear to God.

Yeah.

It was a show.

It was a show called Grace.

And there was a scene.

And I was doing it with Michael Shannon.

No, Michael Shannon had this long monologue.

We're doing the scene.

It's just the two of us.

We hear this noise.

We're both aware that there's a commotion.

But usually it dies down and it's getting louder and louder.

And Michael is

pissed off and starts screaming his lines toward the direction of the noise.

To make a point.

Which, of course, when Michael Shannon is yelling at you, like it's the most terrifying thing ever.

It's the thing that did make everybody kind of quiet down.

And then after this scene, I have to rush over to

the wings to do a costume change.

And I asked the stage manager, I said, What the hell's happening?

What happened out there?

And he's the one that said, Somebody threw up.

Somebody was drunk.

Wow.

Threw up over the balcony and it puked onto about 10 different people.

I'm covered in barf.

This show's not for you, huh?

Fucking bad today.

That's

should have seen the Lion King.

Yeah.

So, yeah.

That was a great fun.

Fucking wait, Sean, this is like your fucking dream come true.

I know.

Million

theater story.

Talk about the person who died.

I mean, learn that after the fact.

You're like, oh my God.

They had to close down and then eventually they had to bring somebody, like a stretcher, to get somebody out of there.

It's like, oh, wow.

It's weird.

I mean, you know, you hear of people dying on stage.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But you don't hear as much about people dying near the stage.

Yeah, yeah.

But did you, so you stopped the show?

Yeah.

You stopped and they, right?

We did not.

Did you keep going?

You kept going.

I don't think.

Dude, are you kidding?

Are you kidding?

He killed.

By the way, died.

The guy.

We slayed him.

Yeah.

Died nearing the end of the show.

Yeah.

And

I'm not so sure

anyone realized

until it was over.

until people were shuffling out of the theater.

And one guy stayed like a nice, peaceful passing.

Yeah.

It was definitely a courteous way to go

for us.

For the actors.

That's a great.

Now, Sean, you have, I know you have plenty.

I've told, I think I've told every single good one

on here.

Is there one you haven't told yet?

I mean, I'd have to think about it.

Me and Reina are at the dinner feed.

Yeah, yeah, right.

I've had,

by the way, I had one.

Now they're all kind of coming, they're flooding back.

I did a scene.

I was lying on top of a bed.

I was doing a scene.

I was lying on top of a bed and I'm

with this woman, Rachel Weiss, was in the show, and I was wearing boxer shorts and a t-shirt.

And all of a sudden, this had never happened before.

I heard the audience laughing.

And I'm like, what is going on?

I realized it's because I was lying on the bed.

I had my

leg up and kind of like,

and I realized my balls were hanging out.

No.

Which is worse than actually like even your penis.

It's like when it's just your

balls.

Or just one ball.

By the way, it might have been just one ball, but it was loose.

You know what's crazy about that?

You know what's crazy about that?

Your balls were showing in that show and the show was the shape of things.

Yeah.

Yep.

That's exactly right.

Nice.

That's exactly right.

That was your ball

the shape of things yeah that's nice they were pendulous i have one that's not as racist the shape of things it should have been and the poster should have been your balls hanging out of short i think i think we've all seen the shape of those things

with the great fred weller with our mutual friend fred weller whom we adore

yes great fred weller um you guys go back do you go back wait you know what's another one of mine mine is uh we were doing westside story this isn't as funny but we were doing westside story and you know the jets and the sharks and when they negotiate the rumble, they say, you know, knives, guns, pipes, fists, whatever.

And this one guy, Darren, yeah, well, you just blew the joke, but uh,

but you know, it's like that.

So, Darren, Darren, my friend Darren, who's the most gayest man on the face of the planet and wears it with a badge of honor.

He's very, very, very funny, but he was a jet and he's trying to act tough.

And, you know, during performance 250, they go, guns, knives, you know, pipes, fists.

And he just jumps out and he goes, purses.

Same joke, same joke as dance.

No, I'm sorry, guys.

I guess.

That's funny.

You had to be there.

You had to be there.

All right, so listen, when you're scrolling through, because you've been in, I want to go through before you leave.

I just want, I mean, oh my God, I had all this.

You're in an hour 10.

Let this guy get back into his weekend.

I know.

Sorry, Wild Oats.

No, but his credits, your credits are fucking so.

What hot American Summer?

And friends, you run on Friends.

Anchorman, by the way, and then 40-year-old Virgin and Knocked Up and working with Jed Apato and role models and Ant-Man that you wrote.

I didn't know you wrote Ant-Man.

That's crazy.

No shit.

I didn't know that.

Yeah.

Well, one of them.

One of the right.

One of the rights.

It was originally written by Edgar Wright, who I just wrote with, who's the best.

The best.

The best.

We love Edgar.

He's a friend of the show.

Yeah.

He's a friend of the show.

He should come on, Willie.

Adore him.

Yeah.

So, wait.

What do you...

My might need to be a two-parter.

Yeah, I know.

There's so many things.

I know.

But wait.

You have to get into the fucking credits are crazy.

I know.

But anyway, so friends have to get into my credit.

I know, but it's incredible.

The people,

they want to know Paul.

I know.

You know?

They want to know about the moments and the movies.

I can't believe they didn't mean to ask him about

years.

I mean,

you and Judd collaborated on so many of those movies that were huge, seminal comedies

that really

changed.

You think about it, at that time, when you guys did 40-year-old Virgin, that really changed the trajectory of comedy films.

Like it kind of went into a start, it created a whole new lane.

He's a great Judd Appetow.

He launched all kinds of folks.

Yeah.

Well, he's great.

There was the first time I ever met Judd

was,

it really is a weird thing.

I don't know if you guys feel this way about those Steve Martin records.

I know we've talked about them a lot, but it seems as if a lot of people in our generation, those albums had a big effect on them.

Sure.

Yeah.

And as did Steve Martin in general.

And

one time I was at a dinner and I was talking about fake names and how it's so

difficult to come up with a perfect, funny fake name.

And I said, a great example is Gern Blanston, which was from

an early Steve Martin routine.

And someone at the dinner said, Gern Blanston, oh, that explains Judd Appetow's email address.

Oh, wow.

And I think at this time there was only AOL.

I'm like, oh, that's hilarious.

Yeah.

He's like Gern Blanston.

I don't think he has this anymore in case anybody wants to email him.

But

anyway,

I went home and emailed Judd.

I'd never met him.

No way.

And I said, hey, man,

nice reference on your email address.

That's amazing.

And he emailed me back.

And that's how you guys started behind me.

And that's how we met.

And then

he emailed me back and said, oh, I'm glad you've emailed me.

It's nice to connect with you.

Now I know who to hit up if I ever need tickets to a new Neil Abutte play because I've just done a bunch of Neil Abutte plays.

Anyway, we, we, anyway, we kept emailing each other for about a year.

We became kind of pen pals, never met each other.

And it wasn't until Anchorman that I actually met him in person.

Wow, that's crazy.

Wow.

And when I went into audition, he was there.

And it was a little bit like, you know, meeting your

pen pal.

That it's like, oh, my God.

Wow.

I can't believe there you are.

I can touch you.

I didn't want to touch him, but

yeah.

Now, your character in Anchorman looks very similar to the character in Friendship.

Was that on purpose?

No, it wasn't on purpose.

Although in Friendship, in the script, the character that I was playing was originally called Brian, which was the name of my character in Anchorman.

Wow, and I thought, maybe we should change that name just because I also have another mustache.

The mustache was just something that seemed like,

oh, this is the kind of thing that this guy would probably.

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

It was a weatherman.

He's a weatherman.

So it's really funny.

You're so good.

And the movie is so great.

Well, I got to say, you know, Tim, it's really Tim.

And it's Tim is so funny.

And I don't know if you've ever watched, I think you should be, which I think.

I mean,

he's a brilliant, brilliant.

She's incredible.

I mean, he really has his own take on all of this stuff.

And that was just such a blast to kind of get to work with him and see what he was doing.

Have you ever seen his show?

What is it?

Detroit?

Is it just called Tim?

Detroiters.

Yeah.

Detroiters.

What's his name?

Tim.

It's Tim What?

Detroiters is Robinson.

Incredible.

Tim Robinson.

It's incredible.

You would love him, Chase.

I remember I met him when he was a writer on SNL.

And,

you know, everyone, even at that time at SNL, said, oh, well, I mean...

This guy, Tim Robinson, is the funniest.

Yeah.

And he directed and wrote and is an actor in this film, Friendship?

He is starring in it.

He didn't write it.

It might be the only thing I think he's ever done that he didn't write.

However, the guy who directed it is a guy named Andrew, Andrew D.

Young.

Yeah, he's...

He also wrote it and he's friends with Tim and completely captures Tim's voice.

I mean, when I read it, I would have sworn that Tim wrote it.

Was there a lot of improv on the movie?

I mean, there was some.

But, you know, it's like, it's funny when we kind of

started Tim's, we were talking about it, and Tim said, let's take out all of the jokes.

He wanted no jokes.

And so it was very, it wasn't really like this perceived as this silly comedy.

I mean, I know that Andy, the director, said that he envisioned

the master, you know, the Paul Thomas Anderson movie.

He was like, we could do like a weird comedy version, but very strange of that.

And

so it wasn't really, there was certainly some improvisation, but

it, you know,

neither one of us was trying to really hit anything too funny.

And I apologize.

Can we see this now?

It's coming out.

Can't see it now.

I think it's coming out in, I don't know, April or May.

How the fuck did Sean see it?

I got a little screen.

It gets a link.

So depending on when this airs.

Connections, perhaps.

Yeah.

So April, May, it's a spring release on this, huh?

Yeah, spring release.

Like all the beautiful things that come out in the spring.

Well, we're really excited about it.

We're really excited about you, Paul.

We love you.

You're a tremendous talent.

Hash about your career.

I think you're going to do great.

Thank you.

I'm so happy to be doing this.

And like, it's such a, you guys are so awesome.

Show is so funny.

I'm so

happy to be on you.

It's so funny.

Yeah.

I mean, I know.

We broke the lean down and we got you here.

Yeah.

No.

No, no.

Look,

you guys have, you a lot of people to talk to.

I'm honored to be one of them.

Wow.

We're very, very happy that you came to you.

Yeah, I'm honored that you kept spending some Saturday.

I sure wish my connection was better.

No, no, no.

Don't think twice about that.

Don't worry about it.

I'm not going to say anything.

At Honeyham's or your Wi-Fi connection.

None of it.

Don't think none of that.

I'm not going to.

Yeah.

We didn't talk about the Royals.

We didn't talk about the Chiefs.

We didn't talk about that.

Nobody wants to talk about that.

Nobody wants to talk about that.

By the way.

You really want to lose the audience?

Shut up, part two, Tim Ruddy.

You get two U's, you get two ups.

I tell you who would turn the volume up: Jason Sudekis and Claire McCaskill.

That's who you're right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What's Bobby Witt going to do this year?

And

the great Dandees, also of Kansas City fame.

The Great Dandee's friend of the city.

Yeah, I love you.

Good friend of ours.

Double D.

Paul Rudd.

Paulie.

You're just.

Good to see you, my friends.

All the love to you and Julie and the kids.

You're world class.

Tip top.

Thank you.

Tip top, Paul.

You guys are the best.

And I can't wait to see you in person.

It can't come here soon enough.

We'll be up to the candy shop soon.

Yeah, we're going to do a smartlist outing.

Let's do a live show from the candy shop.

Oh, there we go.

Look, anytime you want.

Claude Hoppers for all of you.

Free.

That's a good fake name.

I know some Claude Hopper's.

We're sweet on you, Paul.

Oh, there it is.

All right.

Beautiful button.

What a button.

A candy button.

I'm on my way to.

I cannot believe it.

Polly, have a great day.

We love you.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, Joe.

I love you guys.

Thanks so much.

Yes.

Thanks, dude.

Take care.

Bye.

Bye, pal.

Paul Rudd.

Paul Rudd.

Paul Rudd.

What can you say?

I mean, we've said this before about people, but that is an overdue of overdues.

Yeah.

Should have been on Felix.

It's almost embarrassing how overdue.

I I feel bad I didn't get into his stuff, you know, like all the.

You didn't get into anything, Sean.

This is one of the least prepared episodes I've ever seen you host.

And I can believe a former, former, remember, Jason, a former host of the year nominee.

Remember?

Yo, for sure.

Well, you know, but if he gets into the sugar like any fucking little three-year-old, you can't count on him.

Guys, I've failed you.

I bet they are regretting that nomination a couple of years ago in that gang when they.

Well, aren't you on that board too?

Yeah.

The iHeartRadio?

Yeah.

No.

These days I'm only bored when you're hosting.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

But

I do think

if we ever soften on the repeat guest policy you guys are enforcing like fucking live show.

He'd be a live show.

Oh, that's a good live show.

We could just go through all its credits and talk about funny stories.

Yeah, we'll go to funny stories.

I love that.

Yeah, I do like that man a lot.

Willie, remember when he was talking about walking in Canada and he was walking on the what was it?

Bye.

Here comes a bye.

He was was walking on the he went to the byway

Smart

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