"Nikki Glaser"

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Speaker 1 Hey, everybody. It's a podcast.
It's Smartless, and you have hosts, Sean, Will, Jason.

Speaker 1 Here comes. Here it comes.
Here it comes.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Smartless. Oh, yeah, welcome to Smartless.
Smartless.

Speaker 1 Smart.

Speaker 1 Smart

Speaker 1 Less.

Speaker 1 You know what I said to Scotty yesterday? I said,

Speaker 1 can we guess? Can we guess what you said? Yeah, Scotty yesterday. Will you go first? I'll go second.
Did you touch my sprinkles?

Speaker 1 Okay, do you have a guess?

Speaker 1 I'm still writing it, but

Speaker 1 it's somewhere in the Star Wars Star Trek fight canon.

Speaker 1 No, I said to him, concept cars, they...

Speaker 1 Should we put a love seat in the toilet?

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 I said concept cars are such a waste of time because they're such a tease. Like they're these really cool cars and they never make them.
It's like, why don't they just make them?

Speaker 1 Sometimes they do and they take

Speaker 1 pieces of them.

Speaker 1 i feel like that tesla uh super truck or whatever the hell it is it looks like uh an absolute joke rolling around oh you mean you mean the douche identifier

Speaker 1 yeah it looks like a silver 80s tank or something yeah i love it distracting i love it because you do you do get to see you're like where are all the where are the douchebags oh they're there and there's one there then you can just stay away it does look like a concept car and then they went to production on it.

Speaker 1 It's like, oh, it's the dumbest. But some of the concept cars that like all these companies make, they're so cool.
And then you're like, well, okay, well, where do you get one of those?

Speaker 1 And they never make them. Sure.
It's like couture. It's like, you know, it's like, oh, sorry, Jason, go ahead.

Speaker 1 Well, so what they do in the fashion world is they'll go ahead and they'll make stuff just for the fashion show.

Speaker 1 This Henley, for instance, can't be found. Jason, I'm going to, and Will, please come by, but you're going to be in New York.

Speaker 1 Amanda and Maple are coming over for dinner next week. What? Wow.
Yeah. God damn it.
What night?

Speaker 1 Wednesday. Come over.
I'm going to be gone. I'll be gone by then.
Wonderful. Wonderful.
Jay, would you say

Speaker 1 you're at the cutting edge of fashion, by the way? Because I noticed you wearing some rag and bone jeans, which reminded me of 2011. And I thought, here's my guy.

Speaker 1 Listen, things are great back here in 2011.

Speaker 1 Anyway, listen, we could do this forever all day. And I'm sure our guest is just riveted by what we were saying.
But I can tell you something that I am. I'm riveted when she's performing.

Speaker 1 I am riveted and by riveted I mean generally laughing the entire time.

Speaker 1 I think it's it's so rare when or it is so special when a performer comes along that just kind of constantly, every time you see them, they exceed expectations and then they just surprise you with their comedy.

Speaker 1 She is somebody who makes you laugh for a moment

Speaker 1 and then the next it's not chair And she makes you laugh in ways that you're like, and she has that unique thing also of every time you hear a joke, not only are you laughing, you're thinking, I can't believe I didn't think of that.

Speaker 1 It's so brilliant.

Speaker 1 And she keeps topping herself. She's had a million specials.
She had a new special. Sorry.
What color is her hair?

Speaker 1 Well, you'll see.

Speaker 1 She has a new special that just came out on HBO Max or whatever they call it on May 11th. But she really, really rocketed herself this year in the ultimate roast of Tom Brady.

Speaker 1 You guys, it's the none other than the most hilarious Nikki Glazer. Oh, my God.
Nikki Glazer.

Speaker 1 Good morning.

Speaker 1 Wait, are you in the

Speaker 1 area

Speaker 1 shop?

Speaker 1 Where are you? She's watching.

Speaker 2 She's a comedy store podcast studio. Truly? No, really.
I'm visiting L.A. and I wasn't going to fuck around with you guys.

Speaker 1 I wasn't going to trust my Wi-Fi at my hotel.

Speaker 2 I needed like a real studio.

Speaker 1 This is the real deal.

Speaker 1 you're not an Angelino?

Speaker 2 No, I live at St. Louis in.

Speaker 1 So you did, you moved back to St. Louis full-time?

Speaker 2 I did. I did.
I went back during COVID just to hang out with my parents and my family. And then it lifted.
And I was just like, no one even knows I'm here. I can just go to L.A.

Speaker 2 and people in LA think I'm in New York and people in LA or New York think I'm in LA.

Speaker 1 Isn't the crime rate huge there?

Speaker 2 Yeah, in certain parts.

Speaker 1 All right, wonderful. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Sean, like, call me on the internet.

Speaker 1 I just read that about St. Louis.

Speaker 2 We have the highest crime, but it's really...

Speaker 1 That can't be true.

Speaker 1 That's got to be like a per capita quality. Well, Nikki, what's the number one crime that's going on there?

Speaker 2 Probably carjackings and murder.

Speaker 1 Okay, carjackings and murder.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 I guess that's alarming. It's not errors at third base.
You know, you got that Nolan Ariondo over there. You know,

Speaker 1 it's good for you.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but it's, yeah, you just got to avoid parts of town. But it's a segregated city.
It's not the greatest for that. So you you just, yeah.
It's yeah, we still have issues in St. Louis.
Wow.

Speaker 1 Can we revisit my lesson on Kansas? Kansas City. Kansas City and Missouri.
Yeah, because I was in such a way that I was so shamed by it.

Speaker 1 I went into sort of a blackout and I don't really remember what I learned.

Speaker 1 Just real quick.

Speaker 1 No, it should be fast. Kansas City is in Kansas or in Missouri.
Both. It's both.
So it straddles the border between the two states. Is that correct? Oh, no.
I thought there were two separate ones.

Speaker 1 Do you see?

Speaker 2 No. Wait, I think there's there's two separate.

Speaker 1 Well, they're separate, but they're kind of next. They're next to each other.
They are.

Speaker 2 They are.

Speaker 2 They really are.

Speaker 1 Everybody sounds gray on this, just like Nissan.

Speaker 2 That's so dumb. It's confusing.
I don't know if it's one that's separated, but no, I think they're separate. They have to be separate because they are in different.

Speaker 1 You can't have a city cut in two.

Speaker 2 Today, I can't see.

Speaker 1 Maybe you can't.

Speaker 1 What about Minneapolis?

Speaker 1 It's not up there. It's not up there.
Okay, so it says, I just Googled it. It says it remains two separately incorporated cities.
They're right across from each other.

Speaker 1 Wait, say say it again, Sean? It says it's two separately incorporated cities, but together, along with a number of other cities and suburbs, as part of the Kansas City metropolitan area.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're

Speaker 1 incorporated?

Speaker 1 But is there a picture of it, Sean? Does it straddle the border? Let's see. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And if so, like, where... Partially there's a river in between them, and then partially it just goes right down state lines.
But it's the river.

Speaker 2 One has the Chiefs and one has meth.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I can't.
One has meth, one has the Chiefs. Well, wait,

Speaker 1 who has the Royals?

Speaker 2 I think that's, I think wait, Missouri.

Speaker 1 Missouri has the Royals.

Speaker 2 Wait, no, it's Kansas City. Wait, no, no.
Kansas City.

Speaker 1 Yes, Missouri.

Speaker 2 It's Kansas City, Missouri is the one that's like everyone knows about. And Kansas City, Kansas is next to it.
Yeah. It's not fair.

Speaker 1 Right. So Kansas City, Missouri is for the Chiefs.
Kansas City, Kansas is probably for the Royals, correct? I don't. Is that true, Sean? Oh, boy.
It's on the border. I can't tell.

Speaker 1 Can I tell you something right now? I've never learned how to read a map. No, they both play.
They also play in Missouri, just for what it's worth. They all are in Missouri.

Speaker 2 It's Missouri, yes.

Speaker 2 It's on the other side. St.
Louis is on one side, and Kansas City is on the other. And I did get started in comedy in Kansas City, so I know, I should know.
I went to school in Kansas

Speaker 2 in the University of Kansas.

Speaker 1 Oh, you know, I don't know these things. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 1 That's not Kansas University, though, home of the Jayhawks. Wait, no, it is.
No, it's University of Kansas.

Speaker 2 But they say KU. It's not a thing that makes sense.

Speaker 1 That's where I'm from.

Speaker 2 I don't really like. I got got to get out of there.
I'm second-guessing everything.

Speaker 1 Hey, guys, can I just take a poll? I mean, this week.

Speaker 1 Do we feel satiated on this? Do we feel good about it? Do I feel good about it?

Speaker 1 JB, how do you?

Speaker 1 I'm still a little confused. I'm going to do a separate Google later.
Okay, good.

Speaker 1 Nikki, obviously we want to get to the roast because it's interesting. You've talked about it ad nauseum.
You must be so fucking satisfied.

Speaker 1 Well, it's not going to be boring to me because I haven't seen either yet. Okay,

Speaker 1 good. I saw it.

Speaker 1 you were incredible.

Speaker 2 Sean, where I first met you was on the Rob Low.

Speaker 1 No, but I made a big impression. It was the Alec Balden one, really.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, the Alec Baldwin. Yes.

Speaker 1 And you said one of the funniest jokes about me, and I still repeat it today to friends. What did I say? You said, you said, deliver, it was delivered perfect.

Speaker 1 You said, Sean Hayes, oh my gosh, Will and Grace was the best you could do. I

Speaker 1 love it.

Speaker 2 I recycled that joke.

Speaker 1 You did?

Speaker 2 Yeah, because that's a good one that you can just use for anything.

Speaker 2 Like, yeah, I talk about, like, I have a bit about my boyfriend and, you know, we break up and date other people.

Speaker 2 And then I look back at him and I just think, oh, my God, like, after dating all these guys, I'm just like, he's the best I can do. Right.

Speaker 1 And that's it. And so I've realized that I've recycled that one.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that works.

Speaker 1 But I

Speaker 1 fanned out on your backstage. I just think you're hysterical.
Oh, it's such an

Speaker 2 when you fanned out, that meant a lot to me. Well, thanks.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 it's true these roasts that they become a place to discover people, but I feel like you were already discovered. But for some reason, this last one, everybody acts like they found you.

Speaker 1 But it's Nikki Glazer. She's been around forever and she's been brilliant forever.
So what did that feel like

Speaker 1 to be like, wait, I've been here. What are you guys all talking about?

Speaker 2 I didn't feel that way. I kind of was like, yeah, this,

Speaker 2 I've never been like, when is everyone going to notice? And I just kind of, I really just take what comes to me and I never really want to like fight for people to care about me.

Speaker 2 I want people to care about me on their own time. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So I've I've kind of been like, okay, when they do, they do. And, and felt pretty relaxed about it.
But this was, I mean, it was insane.

Speaker 2 It was just like kind of an overnight thing that I never expected would happen in my career. I've always expected it just to be very slow and gradual.

Speaker 2 And I kind of liked the level of fame I had achieved. It's comfortable.
I'm not that recognizable. My life isn't like disrupted by it ever, but there's some perks to it.
And now it's changed.

Speaker 2 I want for nothing and I'm just good. It's like I can say no to things if I want, but now it's like

Speaker 2 it was a huge bump overnight. And I'm sure you guys have experienced that in your careers as well.
And it's just, there are just more people.

Speaker 1 He's had a lot of bump show marriage. Yeah.
You can make a lot of bumps. Sometimes I put them all together and make a nice fat lie.
Sure. Sure.

Speaker 1 Wait, so

Speaker 1 Nikki, do you find like now you're at the airport and people are like, people are like, roast me, burn me. Yeah.

Speaker 2 They don't say that. Thank God.
Because I don't, it would be so mean coming out right away.

Speaker 2 And sometimes I will go there, but no, thank God they don't do that. They just say, did we go to camp together? You know, that kind of thing.

Speaker 1 Right, yeah. Like, where do I know you?

Speaker 2 Because I usually look like shit when I'm traveling. So I don't really look that right.

Speaker 1 I don't.

Speaker 2 I really do not look the same.

Speaker 1 I always steal that line that Dax said years ago. And I use it all the time.
People go, when they have that moment of confusion, they go, I think I know you.

Speaker 1 And I go, yeah, I used to work at Subway around the corner.

Speaker 2 Because everyone's frequented at a Subway. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And they're like, and they're like, maybe he made me a sandwich. Yeah, maybe this is the guy.
Yeah. And that's right.
It seems old to be working in the

Speaker 1 reason I've never seen a roast, I think, is because

Speaker 1 I get so tight because I think that poor person is going to have all these very good natured jokes, right?

Speaker 1 They're hard-hitting jokes, but the whole, everybody knows the game here is that we're going to like to say nasty things about it. But like,

Speaker 1 for the most part, that person doesn't know these people. And so, like, where do these, I just don't know how that goes down okay for the subject of it.

Speaker 1 I think, I think you have, you can opt to not be a part of it. And when you opt to be a part of it, you can say no to it.
Yeah, sure. You know that.

Speaker 1 But can you say no to even to being there? Like, basically, not be attending your funeral effectively. And just

Speaker 1 you have to be there. I think you have to be there.
No, you have to be there. Yeah, that would be weird if you're like, hey, let's just have a night where we shit on so-and-so.

Speaker 1 And then he's knowing that he's at home, going like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 Although it'd be pretty funny. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But then the person has to like pretend to laugh the whole time and pretend to be kind of like okay.

Speaker 2 Your feelings do get hurt. Like you can go in thinking, oh, they're only going to go this far.
And then they go further. I know I've seen it happen where they don't plan on you going there.

Speaker 1 They just. And that's really the only way to get to the huge laughs, too, is when it gets super uncomfortable, right? Of course.

Speaker 2 And to say that, like, I went some places on the Tom Brady Roast that I thought other people would go to,

Speaker 2 and they didn't. And I was the only one that kind of said those names or brought up those subjects that were kind of sore for him.
And you, and it is crazy.

Speaker 2 Like, I've seen old roast clips of, like, I don't like to watch myself. So when I come up on my own feet, I'm like, get out of here.

Speaker 2 But when I was preparing for this roast, I was like, okay, try to channel what you've done in the past. You've done, you've got to watch what people like about you.

Speaker 2 I don't even, you know, I just do it and then I don't watch it again. So I'm just like, watch it again and see what you bring to this.
Cause it had been four years since I'd done one.

Speaker 2 So I watched one and I was like, who the fuck do you think you are saying this to people?

Speaker 2 You told Alec Baldwin all this. Like, what? Like, I just didn't recognize this girl.
And I'm like, she's got balls, but she's also like a psychopath. Like, I just didn't, I really didn't.

Speaker 2 I couldn't believe that I did it. But I was like, I guess I have to channel that again.

Speaker 2 And you really just, they're set, Tom Brady's just set in your periphery a little bit back enough that you can't really see him when you're performing.

Speaker 1 Right, right. So it helps.
Does anybody know if any of these roasts have ever gone wrong where the subject just like says, whoa, whoa, whoa, fuck you, and gets up and leaves.

Speaker 1 I read the Tom Brady thing, right? A little bit.

Speaker 1 I just kind of read little blurbs. Was he upset? Do you know?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think

Speaker 2 he said that he, in hindsight, kind of regrets it.

Speaker 2 I don't really, he doesn't regret it. He's glad he did it, but he didn't know that we would go someplaces.

Speaker 2 I don't really know how he feels about it but i i totally see what he means because i think you go into these things thinking that they're you just don't know what people will dig up about you and see in you when they study you and look at your face that no one's ever gotten up and stopped it in the middle of it and just like left and just got i think

Speaker 2 i think there was one joke at a comedy central one where it was about

Speaker 2 it was like a paul walker joke that ludicrous was there and he's friends with him obviously and he got up and like walked off stage. I think there was, but they cut it later.

Speaker 2 I think there was something like that that happened.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know, one of my favorite was, I don't know what happened to her. She was so funny, Lisa Lampinelli.

Speaker 1 She was really, really funny. And then

Speaker 1 she quit, yeah. Did she really? What happened?

Speaker 2 She does self, she does like self-help talks now. So she's like a motivational speaker now, but she got out of it because she was like, it's too mean.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's tough. It's tough, right? She was funny.

Speaker 2 She was one of the best. She was one of the best.

Speaker 1 One of my favorite jokes that she said during the roast of William Shatner was she was going through his

Speaker 1 credits, you know, and she goes, Remember TiVo when before, you know, before DVRs, there was TiVo. Yeah, we got it.
And

Speaker 1 it made, if you, if, if you liked something, it would suggest other things, you know?

Speaker 1 And so she goes up there and she goes, yeah,

Speaker 1 William Shatner, I tried to T, I tried to TiVo TJ Hooker once, and TiVo suggested I punch myself in the cunt.

Speaker 1 See, that's great. That's a great joke.

Speaker 2 And he can handle it.

Speaker 2 It's been off the air for a while. You can have some distance.

Speaker 1 Hey, Sean, was Scotty just in a violent rage throughout the whole William Shatner roast? He didn't watch it.

Speaker 1 He watched it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no.
He enjoyed it.

Speaker 1 And Betty White, Betty White was on the panel and she got up and told like really crass jokes. It was so funny to see Betty White tell crass jokes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I loved one of my old, like from one of the early ones that was on Comedy Central years ago was something about Andy Dick. I forget who said it.
It might have been Jeff Ross.

Speaker 1 I want to fuck Andy Dick with B. Arthur's dick.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 It was something like that.

Speaker 1 And then they cut to B. Arthur, like, what?

Speaker 1 Yeah, the reaction shots are always the best.

Speaker 2 That really sells it too, is that you got to have the person that you're making fun of when they're cutting to them live. That really will make or break what people thought of your joke.

Speaker 1 Right. If they're laughing along.

Speaker 1 We'll be right back.

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Speaker 1 All right, back to the show.

Speaker 1 So how did you first get, were they just like, hey, listen, who's a really, who's got a really shitty disposition? Nikki Glazer, let's get her in here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she's a really, she's really mean to people.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it started early. Like, I, I remember I wrote, you know, jokes for people who were doing the roasts early on.
And then I did, Jeff Ross had a show called The Burn on Comedy Central.

Speaker 2 And I had a show on Comedy Central at the time. So they threw me on that.
And I had a really good showing on that. I just knew it was a...

Speaker 2 place that I would really excel and I needed to prove myself to Comedy Central for them to even consider me. So I worked really hard hard to do that TV show and I did a great showing.

Speaker 2 And then, um, and then people don't really want to do roast. So it's like, you know, they probably asked Whitney Cummings that year.

Speaker 2 They asked Amy Schumer and then they, Natasha Legero, and they probably didn't want to do it. And so they called up me and last minute, you know, you get booked like a week before and you go, okay.

Speaker 2 And then you have a good one and then they ask you back the next time. And every time I kind of go, I don't know if I want to do this because it's so much work.

Speaker 2 And I would really, I would always have like a mental breakdown right before it and think, what am I doing? I'm going to bomb and like cry and have panic attacks about it.

Speaker 2 I don't know if you guys relate to that where you say yes to things and then you do them and you go,

Speaker 2 I'll never do this again.

Speaker 1 JB,

Speaker 1 tell her our rule that Matt Damon taught us. What? Which about, oh,

Speaker 1 which is the, and we should apply this.

Speaker 1 Actually, well, it was Ben who told Matt who told, but he said, he said, if somebody asks you to do something, and you can start using this from this moment forward, Nikki, if somebody asks you to do something.

Speaker 1 Like two months down the line.

Speaker 1 And he's like six months, come come and show up at this thing. Say to yourself, ask yourself, would I want to do it tomorrow?

Speaker 2 Oh, that's so good.

Speaker 1 If you want to do it tomorrow, says unbelievably effective.

Speaker 2 You know what? I would even though, I would go, do you want to do it now?

Speaker 1 Sure.

Speaker 2 Because even tomorrow, sometimes I'm like, I'll be different tomorrow. But yeah, I'm always, that's such a great, but, but this, this, though, I, I need time to prepare.

Speaker 2 So I don't know how to answer that. You know, like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So what asked me, I always want to do it because I'm like, the exposure, the potential of it.

Speaker 2 And then you get in it, and it's like destroying my relationships, destroying my life. It's making me self-doubt all the time.
And then, and then it's over, and I'm like, that was the greatest.

Speaker 2 I can't wait to do it again. And then, yeah, everyone in my life goes, What do you mean you want to do that again?

Speaker 2 But this time around, I actually implemented a system where I was happy the whole time and I have, I know how to do it now, and I can't wait to do it again. But the three before destroyed my life.

Speaker 1 I, I, I, I totally relate to that.

Speaker 1 And obviously, none of us, the three of us, is a stand-up, but I, I, every anytime I'm asked to kind of go and host something, you know, charity thing or whatever or best. So much more.

Speaker 1 Well, A, it's a lot of work, but B, every single time I do it, I become a bigger and bigger grouch leading up to the day, leading up to the moment, and I'm fucking in the worst place.

Speaker 1 And then you do it, and everybody's, and it works, and you're like, that was fucking great. And everybody in your life is like, fuck, man, you were a dick for the last two weeks.
Yes. It's the dread.

Speaker 2 Every time people have told me that no one hates what they are going to do than you all the time.

Speaker 2 And then when I do it, even when I'm like about to go, when I'm on stage with a microphone, having the time of my life, unless I'm like bomb, you know, like something's totally wrong.

Speaker 2 But as soon as I'm performing, I'm in it. I'm doing great.
But dread constantly up until that moment. And I think that's just, I don't know, the way it goes.

Speaker 1 Nikki, do you allow yourself to think, because you were saying earlier that you're really happy with where you find yourself? Like

Speaker 1 you've got the right amount of, you've got an amount of relevance that you really enjoy but also a nice amount of anonymity where you still you know you can go to the grocery store etc etc do you allow yourself to think forward you know a year five years ten years do you allow to do you allow yourself to think about goals and stuff like that where where do you where do you want to go do you know no and i want to ask you guys about it too do you have goals or do you just keep saying yes to things as you go and see where it takes you just say yes to where it takes me and if you look at my credits you'll see that i say yes to a lot of shit

Speaker 1 we do a lot of switchbacking.

Speaker 1 We don't go right up the no.

Speaker 1 This is for another podcast, but I'm a freak about goal setting and writing them down and all that stuff for years and years and years. Are you teasing a new podcast or a fashion podcast?

Speaker 1 What's it called? That sounds exciting.

Speaker 1 Are we producing it with him?

Speaker 1 No, no.

Speaker 1 Sean is a task master. He's just like, our joke is, Sean takes,

Speaker 1 if an email comes to the three of us about some sort of business thing, within 12 seconds, before he thinks of his answer, he has responded.

Speaker 1 yeah i like to just check it off my list though i don't like to have anything in my inbox i'm just yeah me too i have an absolutely clean inbox really

Speaker 1 and i'm like i need 24 hours to think about it i'm like i'm not answering and then someone needs to text me hey you need to respond to that email yeah yeah yeah that's what i did my email has just moved to texting yeah yeah but nikki i i so for like the goal list thing the goal list thing i since i'm like 22 23 years old i've been writing down goal lists and they're stream of conscious goal lists like i'll write down on paper I'll go one, two, three, and I'll just number as they come in my head.

Speaker 1 And there's the stupidest things like, I got to lose five pounds. I got to visit my mom more.
I got to make it, you know, I got to connect with this person about this project.

Speaker 1 You can cross that one off. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. My mom passed away.
So,

Speaker 1 but

Speaker 1 my mom died like 25 years ago. It's hilarious.

Speaker 1 Anything in there about your dad's license plate? I did say it wasn't sad. Yeah, no, it's very sad.
But you got to laugh. It's the honest thing that you have to do.
Right.

Speaker 1 But anyway, so I would do all these things. And I'm like, and then at the bottom, I put lifetime goals.
This is like when I was 22, 23, I'm like, I want to host Saturday Night Live.

Speaker 1 I want to be on David Letterman. I want this, blah, blah, blah.
And I went to therapy like years ago. And he goes, Don't tell me a catastrophe happened.
I go, what? He goes, they all came true.

Speaker 1 I go, every single thing on my list came true. And that's always, yeah, so I got real depressed.

Speaker 1 Because then what's

Speaker 1 the point of living? So then you make new ones? Yeah. So then buy a rope.
Buy a chair.

Speaker 1 Find a beam. Find a beam.
Throw the rope.

Speaker 1 Throw the rope over the beam. Kick the chair out.

Speaker 1 Regret it immediately.

Speaker 2 Try to get the rope off.

Speaker 1 To no avail. Regret it immediately.

Speaker 1 And as I'm doing it, I'm still checking it off. I'm like, look at that.
Try to yield a scotty, but my windpipe is. Put your toe on the desk.

Speaker 1 By the way, Sean, I noticed something. I noticed, Sean, something about the way that you described.
You sounded like you were from Brooklyn or there. You go, since I'm 22.

Speaker 1 Since I'm 22 years old. Yeah.
So, anyway, so and he said that the most obvious thing in the world, but it isn't obvious until you hear somebody say it.

Speaker 1 He was like, well, you just got to make new ones. And I was like,

Speaker 1 oh, yeah. I guess I just got to keep thinking.

Speaker 2 I've been trying to like manifest stuff and I'm doing these manifest meditations where it's like, just picture your life with the thing you want.

Speaker 2 Feel that it's already happened. And then you drift off to sleep and you try to get the feeling, not that you're doing the thing, but that you live in a world in which this is what you do.

Speaker 2 It's already happened.

Speaker 1 What is he, like Esther Hicks?

Speaker 2 It's um, uh, what is his name? Neville Godard. Neville Goddard.
That's how everyone says his name on the YouTube. But yeah, please help.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, here's a crazy story. I have really fast.
If these guys will let me tell it, so it's

Speaker 1 you going back to back. Yeah.
Yeah. And then that's it.

Speaker 1 You're doing B2B already. All right, good.

Speaker 1 B2B.

Speaker 1 I thought we left you on the beam.

Speaker 1 You not know how to take a hit?

Speaker 1 Left you on the beam.

Speaker 1 Still writing my goals down. Does the sound of a rope just so anyway? When I was a kid, I was obsessed with the show Soap.
Do you remember the show Soap? Yeah, one of those great separate cameras.

Speaker 1 Okay. So in the opening credits, when they used to like rehash the

Speaker 1 whole story of the show and the opening credits over and over every week, they would say, these are the Tates and these are the Campbells. And then, and blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 And this is Soap, right? And so these are the Tates and these are the Campbells. The Tates were the rich family.
The Campbells were the poor family. or, you know, the lower middle class, whatever.

Speaker 1 So the Tates, they would show this establishing shot of this beautiful house, this brick house in this gorgeous neighborhood. I was like, oh my God, I grew up shit, shit, poor.

Speaker 1 Nothing, you know, everybody knows my story. So then I was like, I would race to the TV every week to watch that opening.
I was obsessed with this house.

Speaker 1 So about eight, seven, eight years later, Scotty and I had a few to drink and we're going down a rabbit hole on YouTube of old openings of like 80s, 90s sitcoms.

Speaker 1 You know, we saw Jason's, we saw like whatever, you know, like facts of life and whatever, the Hogan family and like Dallas and like, you know, all of them.

Speaker 1 And I was like, oh, Scotty, we have to YouTube the store, the opening credits of soap. I was obsessed with this house as a kid.

Speaker 1 So we opened it and we're like, these are the Tates and these are the Campbells and the house right behind mine. Oh my God.

Speaker 1 Swear to God.

Speaker 2 This stuff is real.

Speaker 2 That you can

Speaker 1 be manifesting things.

Speaker 1 But so then if Nikki, if you're manifesting,

Speaker 1 then you are allowing yourself to dream a little bit of the future. Yeah.
And what does it it look like?

Speaker 2 That's that's what I'm struggling with: is like, I kind of like the way things are. And so I have an apartment.
I don't like, I don't own a home. And so I'm like, you know what? I should own a home.

Speaker 2 So let me just visualize the home I'm in. And then I think about like, we got to get these cabinets redone.
And then I'm like, oh, I got to call someone. Like I'm living in it.

Speaker 2 And then I go, I got to call the landscaper. Like there's so much work that starts happening.
I go, I don't want this house. Like, let me take me back to my apartment.

Speaker 2 So I'm kind of like, I just really like the way things are now. So I feel, but I have goals of like,

Speaker 2 you you know, SNL, I think, is a good goal, like hosting SNL. That's a great goal for

Speaker 2 it.

Speaker 1 It's happened, right? It's yes, I think it's happened.

Speaker 2 It's happened.

Speaker 2 There's, I think it's not yet, but there's been talks.

Speaker 1 There's whispering. Basically, I think that's happening.
There's no way that it's not happening.

Speaker 1 Just knowing how that shit goes and what's out there, there's no way that they're not asking you this fall. Absolutely.
Thank you.

Speaker 2 Okay, so it's happened.

Speaker 1 And I don't, I don't,

Speaker 2 that's already manifested. So I got, yeah, I don't know.
I don't know what's next. But But what do you, what about Will and Jason, do you guys goal it up?

Speaker 1 I do. I mean, I sort of keep an eye on where I'd like to maybe be headed towards, but it's not that specific.
It's just,

Speaker 1 I just want to be challenged with stuff that is right at the edge of what I'm able to handle.

Speaker 1 And I know that there's going to be a day soon where I'm like, fuck this, throttle back and just relax.

Speaker 1 And so I I know that's going to come. So while I'm actually feeling this fuel, why not let it go? You know, let it go.
It's exactly the same way. Drive towards it.
Yeah. I think it's good.

Speaker 1 I do the same thing, Nikki, that you do, which is, uh,

Speaker 1 in, and sometimes I do it super consciously. And, and I, and I actually set out to do it, but I do the same thing of sort of manifesting.

Speaker 1 And I find that I do kind of manifest in real time most of the time. And, uh, and, and it's been super, super, super effective for me.
I don't know why.

Speaker 2 And I think I did it. That's what, why my, I, when I was in high school, I used to just tell my friends,

Speaker 2 oh, I'll, I used to be obsessed with Dave Matthews, and my friends all were too. And I would say, oh, I'll just like meet him someday and like get to, I'm going to tell him, like, how I feel.

Speaker 2 And they were like, how would you meet him? And I'm like, well, I'm going to be famous. And they were like, what? They just like, I remember their incredulousness of like that I thought that.

Speaker 2 And it was so obvious to me that that was going to happen and that I'll be in his sphere.

Speaker 1 I, I, and I, I had the same thing about Letterman.

Speaker 1 I used to think when I used to watch Letterman at night when I was a kid, like in the 80s, like in high school, and I'd watch them at 12.30, and I'd think, like, I bet you Letterman's going to think I'm really funny.

Speaker 1 And it worked out. He does.
Yeah. And he does.
And it worked out.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 yeah, that kind of shit.

Speaker 1 And maybe that's sort of dumb confidence of youth. I don't know.

Speaker 1 But Nikki, do you want to pursue, I know you've done tons of acting stuff, but is that important to you to pursue that lane as much as stand-up and everything else?

Speaker 2 Yes and no. I mean, I think that's what I started pursuing initially in high school when I was like, how am I going to get the, how am I going to meet Dave Matthews?

Speaker 1 I got to get.

Speaker 1 That was my real goal of like being on TV.

Speaker 2 That's the only way I could be in his, as his sphere. And when I met him, I said the word sphere several times of I tried to be in your sphere.
It was really embarrassing.

Speaker 1 Well, where did, where did that,

Speaker 1 were you, were you living with with the, did you, was your family super encouraging of your humor? And like, was mom and dad funny?

Speaker 2 Were your, your were your siblings like where did the confidence come from that like oh you know if I think of something funny I should share it because that usually works out that did not come until way later so I was like okay I'll be an actress and I was not getting the parts in school plays and I didn't even go to like a theater school so it was like you know I was getting townsperson B and stuff so I was getting feedback like this isn't for you like to act and so I was not even townsperson a

Speaker 2 always b

Speaker 2 and and i would think i would get the lead and then i'd be at the bottom of the list and i would cry and then I go, oh, I guess I'll go do field hockey. And it was terrible at sports.

Speaker 2 So I was like, didn't really, but I was so depressed that it wasn't going to work out. I auditioned for theater school, didn't get it anywhere.

Speaker 2 And I was really like, I guess I'll just like have to kill myself.

Speaker 2 Like I really was thinking that because what's the point of living if you're not going to be on TV and performing in some way? But I had no way to do it. I just thought acting's the only way.

Speaker 2 I had no idea there were other things. I didn't even look into it.
I knew I couldn't sing or dance.

Speaker 1 What did your parents do? What did your parents do?

Speaker 2 My dad's in the cable business and my mom was just a homemaker. And

Speaker 2 so

Speaker 2 they were always supportive. And I come from a really funny family and they have great taste in comedy.
So I was always consumed.

Speaker 2 My dad like introduced me to Conan when I was in like eighth grade and I was like, you got to check out this show. And then that changed my like life.
And Seinfeld, I was obsessed with and friends.

Speaker 2 I was really, I loved comedy, but I wasn't, stand-up

Speaker 2 didn't do much for me. I just wasn't even paying attention to it.
And then I went went to college and I was like,

Speaker 2 long story short, I had like a terrible eating disorder because I was pretty much like, I just want to die. My life sucks and nothing's going the way I want it to.

Speaker 2 And I have to go to college and figure out what I want to do for a living, but I don't want to do anything except perform. And I'm not good at that.
And everyone tells me I'm not good at it.

Speaker 2 Like, I was taking voice lessons to be a singer. And my voice teacher took my mom aside and said, this is a waste of your money.

Speaker 1 She doesn't have it. Like, I was kidding.
Why would your mom do that?

Speaker 1 The voice teacher said to my mom.

Speaker 2 And so I just was so discouraged. And then I was, I just got an eating disorder that I was like, oh, I'll just die of this.
And I really wanted to. I was really like slowly just dying.

Speaker 2 And then I was hospitalized. It was right after high school.
And I was going off to college. I was hospitalized over the summer.
And. And then I, you know, needed to get out of there.
And so I lied.

Speaker 2 And I was like, I just got to go away to college. And then I can like kind of die off alone without people monitoring whatever.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Nikki, this is awful.
It's so sad.

Speaker 2 It's so sad. But I really was like, what's the point?

Speaker 2 I just didn't know what the point of life would be if I wasn't a performer because I also, I wanted, I feel like my parents really pay attention to TV in a way that I always wanted to be paid attention to.

Speaker 2 And I think that's why I wanted to get on TV was to that, even though they loved me so unconditionally, I just didn't feel it

Speaker 2 the way that I was just a very sensitive child.

Speaker 1 Anyway, they proved that.

Speaker 1 How did you overcome that? How did they prove that they loved you? Sorry, go ahead.

Speaker 2 Well, they proved they loved. You're still working on it, but I have theories that they do.
But

Speaker 2 the love seems to amp amp up a little bit when I bring them to the Tom Brady roast and that'll be show.

Speaker 1 There's a little bit more text messages from my mom.

Speaker 2 I've always loved you. Like final.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait, that's really

Speaker 1 good.

Speaker 1 And we will be right back.

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Speaker 1 And now, back to the show.

Speaker 1 Nikki, what an interesting story.

Speaker 1 How did you overcome that enormous hump from high school to college? Just touch bottom and then.

Speaker 2 Well, I was like ready to fucking go. Every night I would be like, please die in your sleep because I was just hungry all the time.
And it's like, you know what it's like to be hungry, Jason.

Speaker 2 And so it's like

Speaker 1 fucking time.

Speaker 1 You dabble in the EDs.

Speaker 2 And so

Speaker 1 it's not enough, though, in the EDIs. And

Speaker 2 so it's,

Speaker 2 yeah, I was waiting for that to like just end it because I was cold all the time. I was hungry.
I looked insane.

Speaker 2 So I couldn't really make friends because everyone's just like, this girl is like a skeleton who looks so weird and looks so brittle and I was about to die. And my hair is falling out.

Speaker 2 And I just, and I'm at my freshman year of college. I don't have any friends.
And I need to make some. So I like, I think my, I just turned up my personality a lot.

Speaker 2 Just because I looked so crazy that I needed, the only way to make friends was to be larger than life.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 2 And so I started being funnier. I just like, it just was an adaptive thing.

Speaker 1 You made out you made yourself funny. I did because no one would like me otherwise.

Speaker 2 And then all of my friends, I got friends because I was funny and really outgoing. And all my friends would say, God, when we first saw you, we were like, who is that girl?

Speaker 2 And then we kind of forgot that you looked like that because people would go to my friends and be like, we're really worried about her.

Speaker 2 And they'd be like, we don't even know what you're talking about. Because I did really just overcompensate for how sick I was with my personality.

Speaker 2 And that's when people started going, you should be a stand-up comedian.

Speaker 2 And once I heard that, I go, okay, what's that okay i mean i knew what it was but then i googled it and i saw sarah silverman and then that that changed my world and that was like okay i'll just do that i was gonna say what what was the thing that inspired you to as you said turn it up what was the thing where i know you were your hair was falling out was you kind of rock bottom but what what what made you i didn't want to be made fun of i wanted to be the first to make the joke about how thin i was or what i wanted to be so extraordinary my personality that no one would notice how scary I looked or how concerning.

Speaker 2 And so I think that was it.

Speaker 2 You know, like the fat kid in school can be the class clown or most, I had never experienced that before where my looks like made people talk about me and whisper about me and make fun of me.

Speaker 2 I always just in high school wanted to just disappear. I didn't want boys to make fun of me.
I just was so scared of any attention. I wanted attention on stage when I told you you could.

Speaker 2 But I really was like, people from high school are just like, you are a comedian? Like I just kind of was, I didn't really, I didn't make big waves in high school.

Speaker 2 But and then when I turned it up, that's when people started telling me that. And then as soon as I looked into it, it, I was like, oh, of course this is it.
I've always

Speaker 2 like writing comedy. I have, I love comedy.
And then acting, the thing I found hard was like being someone else. I really think it was just, I was always trying to run away from who I was.

Speaker 2 And I finally found something that celebrated. I could say the weirdest things and the darkest things that I was ashamed of into a microphone.

Speaker 2 And then people liked me more because of the things that I hate the most about myself. Oh, yeah, but it's awesome.

Speaker 1 And that was really cool. Honestly, it's authentic.

Speaker 2 Which is the reason that mental illness exists is because people aren't being honest, and so that really helps me heal.

Speaker 1 But you did, but you, the one thing that you did not get generated overnight was, I mean, you're obviously really smart, and so that is something that you probably

Speaker 1 sort of saved you in the end from a lot of stuff was that you're not a dummy, you're really bright. By the way, you lost Sean when you said hungry all the time.

Speaker 1 Sean looks so confused, like, what do you mean?

Speaker 1 Never hungry. I'm never hungry.

Speaker 1 So then you found then that the thing that was bumming you out internally was actually material and that that is like it it actually becomes uh an asset to you and that vulnerability is one of the huge keys to comedy you know you got to pull your pants down a little bit there's nothing funny about no problem say the honest thing and people can't even believe you're saying it because so many most people aren't honest at that level and so whenever whenever i'm on stage and i'm trying a new bit and it's not going well and i've kind of lost the audience and they know that i know i just like, oh, my trick for that is just to stop and just say the honest thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because then it's so healing and you can't lose.

Speaker 2 And you just go, that bombed. Yeah.
And you guys don't like me anymore.

Speaker 1 And then they laugh. Also,

Speaker 1 be revealing too in that way and be vulnerable. And JB and I have often said there's nothing funny about a six-pack in that like being, you know what I mean? Like this is just not fucking funny.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Who gives a fuck? But look how quick Will Farrell takes his shirt off.
It fucking works every time. I fucking love him for it.

Speaker 2 But that's the struggle, though, because I also want to be hot. Like, listen, we're all funny, but we all care about looking aesthetic.

Speaker 1 Look at this Henley. Did you get a good look at this Henley shot? I should have heard about this Henley.
I think that traits. Did Amanda buy that for you?

Speaker 1 She did.

Speaker 2 It's good. Okay.
But yeah, we all care about what people think about like how we look. And then people go, but you're funny.
You don't need to care. And it's like, well, it is a part of it.

Speaker 2 And it's honestly, that's, I'm being honest when I say I'm insecure about my looks. So that's still part of it for me.
I can't help that I do care about my looks, even though that's it.

Speaker 2 You don't need to.

Speaker 1 First of all,

Speaker 1 everybody does, and everybody does in no matter what job. And Sean's right, yours should be cute.

Speaker 1 But think about it this way. Because

Speaker 1 of the very nature of what you do, people

Speaker 1 comment. And we live in a world now where we see those comments and we hear that stuff so much more readily.

Speaker 1 So of course, it makes sense that you'd be, you know, when people say that, I remember years ago, some friends, you know from Toronto I grew up with like oh fuck Willie all you actors Hey you guys just care about how you look I'm like yeah cuz everybody's talking about it when you do something they go fuck you look like by the way.

Speaker 1 I got an on-camera job. Yeah,

Speaker 1 and people go like fuck man that guy Arnett looked like shit in that thing. You're like, oh, thanks a lot man.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 They will say in their the comments

Speaker 2 there was there's it's insane that there are comments under every single clip or video or picture that is of you. I

Speaker 2 David Spade told me a while ago, he was like, you know, back when I did the Hollywood minute during Weekend Update, that was the only time celebrities got like mocked mercilessly for like a minute.

Speaker 2 That was the only time that celebrities were being made fun of ever because it was just.

Speaker 1 Turn used to do it a bit right before that.

Speaker 2 Right. Okay.
So there's like two outlets for it.

Speaker 1 And now it's

Speaker 2 all people do.

Speaker 1 I will say, I like the way that you've offset it. And I was going to bring this up before when you talked about that you moved back to St.
Louis.

Speaker 1 We had somebody on recently who moved back to uh the midwest and it's made me long for i don't know why recently i've it's i've really longed for not living on either coast i've had this sort of dream it makes me feel kind of good because there is something yeah a little bit there's something kind of yeah but what's that quote uh uh doesn't matter where you go there you are yeah you know like you're gonna you're gonna feel the same no matter where you go i agree

Speaker 1 yeah i'm not looking at it as a remedy for how i'm necessarily feeling i'm just talking about my day-to-day experience experience. Like, what is, what do I want that experience? Your environment.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
You just want to get carjacked a little. Yeah.

Speaker 1 In the Midwest. Desperate to be.

Speaker 2 I get what you mean. Well, the reason I like it is because I, if I'm in New York or LA, I can do a set every single night and I can feel like I'm not doing enough.

Speaker 2 And I, I could be doing a set tonight and getting stronger. And I could be doing a podcast.
And, but in St. Louis, there's nothing much going on.
So I feel like it's just kind of an escape.

Speaker 2 I'm, I'm a workaholic and I lock up my liquor on the coast and I go and I can go get it if I can get a key and like deliberately go get it. But it's not just waiting for me in my room in St.
Louis.

Speaker 2 I kind of am away from work and can and don't have to drive myself crazy with it. And I can forget that that's that all that stuff matters.

Speaker 2 When you really are in New York and LA, you get sucked into the machine of like, you got to do more. It's not enough.

Speaker 2 And comparing yourself more, even though they're all waiting for you on Instagram to compare yourself to, I feel it more here, which is good sometimes.

Speaker 2 When I was doing the roast, I was like, I'll go to LA for a month and a half before that to get in the zone of like.

Speaker 2 competitiveness and running my set every night and like feeling like i'm not enough and needing to prove myself but i couldn't do that in st.

Speaker 2 louis i couldn't just like fly and do the roast i would have come with this like midwest ease i needed to come in like strong and insecure what's your day-to-day like in st.

Speaker 2 Louis then if you're not working like wake up I go into my podcast room which is next to my bedroom do a podcast then I go to a Pilates class then I go to Starbucks and pretend to write.

Speaker 2 And then I, you know, that whole thing where you open up your laptop and then you just,

Speaker 1 that's a whole thing that I love. I love you working.

Speaker 2 You guys are too famous to do that now. That's the fame I don't want to be is like where I can't go to Starbucks still and just sit and

Speaker 1 in a coffee shop.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's coming.
I gotta, I gotta really enjoy it while I got it. But yeah, I just sit there in online shop and then I go back home and play my guitar a little bit.

Speaker 2 And then I go to a voice lesson. I'm still trying to be a singer.
So I just, yeah, and then I go go hang out with my parents, hang out with my niece and nephews, and then you know.

Speaker 1 And that acting desire you said,

Speaker 1 just sort of atrophied way back when, and there's no desire there at all?

Speaker 2 No, there totally is. I think that it would be so fun

Speaker 2 to do it, but it's

Speaker 2 being on set is really exhausting and boring sometimes.

Speaker 1 Being on set is can be very boring, exactly.

Speaker 2 But and on the road is easy for me, I don't even have to think about it. I just walk on stage.

Speaker 1 But also, just the creative difference of

Speaker 1 an actor has to fit lines that were written before they

Speaker 1 come in. So your job is to fit a pre-existing character and line.
As a stand-up, it's the total opposite. You are already there and then you're writing lines to fit you.

Speaker 2 That's what I like about it. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 But what about the memory?

Speaker 2 I always wait till the last second for everything. So that doesn't work in acting.
You can't be just like... you know, binging your lines right before and memorizing them.

Speaker 2 I'm sure sometimes that is the way it has to happen, but there's a lot of preparation and forethought that goes into being an actor actor and preparing.

Speaker 2 And I feel like as a stand-up comedian, as long as I'm just showing up as myself, I can get the job done. Like I don't, I don't like a lot of review.
I don't like a lot of rehearsal.

Speaker 2 I don't like to critique myself because then I start to see the flaws.

Speaker 2 So with stand-up, I'm just like, I can just be in a conversation and just, you know, with someone and be like talking about something really sad and crying and then walk on stage and do it and then walk off and get right back to it.

Speaker 2 I don't have to like get in a zone. It just seems like a lot of work.
And I'm in now.

Speaker 2 I would get jobs where I'm acting against people like you guys who have been doing it so long and I'd feel like I'm not good enough and their self-doubt would come in.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 we'd be judging you, but you should.

Speaker 1 Some would have a spare roping chair for you if things went wrong.

Speaker 1 Always standing by. Always standing by.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, I think you could do whatever you wanted, and certainly now you could, but you probably always, I suspect you always could have.

Speaker 1 Yeah, leave yourself open for all of it because you seem incredibly dynamic and well-suited for all opportunities. Yeah, I'm so happy for your success.
I want to see you more doing more stuff.

Speaker 1 You're so naturally funny and so funny.

Speaker 1 And what I also love about it is I don't, well, maybe you do on some of your podcasts and stuff, but you don't seem to have fallen in the trap yet of a lot of stand-ups who seem to be obsessed with talking about breaking down stand-up, which I'm like, fucking enough.

Speaker 1 Some of these older stand-ups. I'm like, shut the fuck up.
Who cares?

Speaker 1 Who cares? Who the fuck? What does that mean, breaking down stand-up? You mean like talking loud about science behind it?

Speaker 1 No, the science behind it, what they think about stand-up and how they do, and they only talk to other stand-up. I'm like, shut up, man.

Speaker 2 Yeah, don't apologize for a joke and cancel culture. I'm just really not that interested in that stuff either.
And I think that we like to pat ourselves.

Speaker 2 You know, every artist likes to pat themselves on the back, like they change the world, but and some of it does. But I just, I don't know.

Speaker 2 I'm, I'm, I don't, I don't, I kind of just fell into it and it fits me, but I don't think of it as

Speaker 2 stand-ups are like above other.

Speaker 2 No, and I think sometimes we have to think that because we feel so less than and that's why we do stand-up is because we didn't fit into any of the other ones I can see that but like all of us are just out here trying to figure it out and so when people start breaking it down as though it were a process and as though we're a science right anyway but when people ask me about the process it's always like how do you write it it's I think it's the same for most comedians it's just you say something funny in conversation and then you go oh, I should maybe do something about that.

Speaker 2 And then you take out your phone and the conversation comes to a halt and everyone waits for you and you go, what, wait, exactly, how did I say it?

Speaker 1 And then they tell you, and then you ruin the moment.

Speaker 2 And then you, and then I'm in the wings of the show before the show, kind of going like, what should I do tonight? I'm kind of sick of my act as it is.

Speaker 2 Like, maybe I'll, and I'll look through and go, okay, maybe I'll throw that in. And then it just kind of happens on stage, but it's, it's, it's a lazy role.

Speaker 1 But you're super funny.

Speaker 2 I'm doing the only thing I've ever been good at.

Speaker 1 You're the top of the game. Honestly, I could just watch you do stand-up all the time.
You're really awesome. And you're very generous to have come here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and someone who's been a fan as long as I have to see you finally get this kind of recognition. Like

Speaker 1 one another. Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 2 Well, being on Smartlist is a huge, it's a huge deal to me with you guys.

Speaker 1 You've done us a huge favor. Thank you.

Speaker 2 Fucking funny. And your show was so good.
And talk about vulnerability. I mean, that's, but that's what we, don't we all want that from our celebrities?

Speaker 2 Like, I've always just wanted to see how they are. I used to love the, like, the stars are just like us kind of things.

Speaker 1 I used to really do love that.

Speaker 2 And that's what I think podcasts have given us is that conversational quality. And we get to really know you.
And some actors stink and they're not interesting at all

Speaker 2 in conversation, but you guys don't. You're so fucking funny.
And yeah, I'm just like.

Speaker 1 You're infectious with your very, very clean, honest sort of energy coming out of you is really infectious. We're droll in moments.
You're funny. So

Speaker 1 hilarious.

Speaker 2 All of you.

Speaker 1 It's so good to see you. So good to see you, too.
Thank you. You too.
Yeah. Thanks, Nikki.
Oh, my God, Nikki Glazer. Nikki, Nikki Glazer.

Speaker 1 Thank you, guys. Thank you, Nikki.

Speaker 1 Have a great rest of the day. I see you.
Bye.

Speaker 1 How great is Nikki Glazer? Yeah, that was super fun. I'm embarrassed to say that's my first experience with her.

Speaker 1 And wow, what a form I second. I'm a huge fan of hers.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she's amazing. She's super, super amazing.
I love what she said because she, I mean, even on here, she's just brutally honest about everything and how she feels and her opinions.

Speaker 1 And I think that's what people are are drawn to. Yeah.
She's got specials on Netflix that I can like immediately.

Speaker 1 She's got specials on HBO and Comedy Central. Dude, she's an absolute just like comedy megastar.
Yeah, I really can't.

Speaker 1 And not just because of her level, but just also how funny she is. She is profoundly funny.
So good.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 my buddy, great Bob Castron used to work with her, too. That's how he kind of really turned me under about five years ago.
He was like, Nikki Glaser's the funniest.

Speaker 1 He wrote with her for a long time.

Speaker 1 But she would be great in movies and she doesn't need to

Speaker 1 act, you know. I know.

Speaker 1 It's like five people that act. Most of us just play versions of ourselves.
And I'd love to see a million different versions of her. Yeah.
Yeah. But she'd be great.

Speaker 1 I agree. No, she's a really nice,

Speaker 1 which is so funny because she does these roasts, which can be so super cutting and stuff. And she's actually like a super nice, kind person.

Speaker 1 And I've, yeah,

Speaker 1 she's cool.

Speaker 1 Sean, do you have a update? Sean, are you frozen? What's going on? No, I'm just trying to fucking buy up.

Speaker 1 It's so fucking

Speaker 1 the worst poker.

Speaker 1 Sean. Look, I wasn't.
I was just biting my time.

Speaker 1 Why would you waste it? Was that? Wait, yeah. Did you just like

Speaker 1 float that one up there more?

Speaker 1 You're like all the time. I was having a cough.
You were in a coma.

Speaker 1 No, I was biting

Speaker 1 my time.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What's happening, John?

Speaker 1 Let's cut my roll.

Speaker 1 It's a good one. It's very good.
I just wish you would have just owned it. I was setting you up.
I apologized for it. Why didn't you just...
You're just sitting there and we knew that.

Speaker 1 He was looking at a list that he had on his computer of buys.

Speaker 1 Standbys. I just, yeah.

Speaker 1 Guys, I found

Speaker 1 it. Fucking fuck, what is happening?

Speaker 1 Nightmare. Will, you have, can you take us out like we should?

Speaker 1 You got anything? Well, you just had two good ones.

Speaker 1 I actually actually do have a book, a book of all the great buys that I want to use, and I call it

Speaker 1 my buy. Bye-bye.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 1 That'll do.

Speaker 1 That'll do. We'll see you at the next one.
Smart.

Speaker 1 Smart.

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