"Mike Birbiglia"

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Speaker 1 Hey guys, so if I had a dollar for every time somebody comes up to me and asks me what my morning routine is, I'd be like a billionaire. Here's what my morning routine is.

Speaker 2 I get up

Speaker 1 and then I brush my teeth. Welcome to Smartless.

Speaker 1 Smart

Speaker 1 Less.

Speaker 3 So, so Will

Speaker 3 had a dinner party the other night that I was invited to. Sean was invited to.
We were both there. You were invited to as well, but you were working down in

Speaker 3 Atlanta. And

Speaker 3 about halfway through it, maybe halfway,

Speaker 3 someone said, yeah, Sean and Scotty left.

Speaker 2 They're gone.

Speaker 3 They're gone. So now's your chance.
I haven't seen you, talk to you since.

Speaker 3 Did you have a sickness or something?

Speaker 1 I have this thing about the dog. I have this thing about leaving the dog for more than four hours.

Speaker 2 The dog that he left for eight months in New York, he's worried about leaving for four hours for New York. Yeah, exactly, Sean.
Same dog. No, because

Speaker 5 the dog was left alone.

Speaker 1 The dog was left alone. So when the dog's left alone here at the house.

Speaker 3 Who doesn't leave their dogs alone?

Speaker 1 I know, but not that long. I have like a thing about it.

Speaker 3 Well, you got to get over that thing because that excuse is so outrageous that but it's not an excuse and it's a long life it's a long life you can't be tethered to your house for

Speaker 3 when you tell people I got to go because I'm worried about leaving my dog for four hours they're just gonna think you're rude because no one's gonna believe that that's a real thing well I'm telling you it's a but what if I'm telling you it's a real thing well then they should say you should go to therapy because it's just it's an it's an irrational fear well I don't know well what do you think people do you see have you ever seen you ever seen anyone go to work have you ever seen real people go to a job before?

Speaker 3 You know, like an eight-hour job?

Speaker 2 Which is. You know, all those people that you see filled on the buses, and you're wondering, like, fuck, why is this bus holding my lane? Well, it must be so.

Speaker 2 They're all going to real work. They're all going to be real.
All the dogs are dying while they're on the bus. Dogs must die all day.
Jesus Christ.

Speaker 2 All those buses that are filled with people going to do real hard work.

Speaker 2 Just a bunch of dog murderers. You're watching to go get your fucking eyes checked.
They're not. Obviously, they don't have a healthy relationship with their pet.

Speaker 2 They have left the pet in the pet. You know what? It's a little lower on their list of priorities.
You know what I mean? No.

Speaker 3 Sean,

Speaker 3 had you stayed, you would have seen me have one of my low points.

Speaker 1 Yes, well, Amanda told me.

Speaker 3 So I told our host, I've told my host a few times, anyone that'll listen, I've probably bored you guys with it before, that my kryptonite is giving toasts.

Speaker 2 I just can't do it.

Speaker 3 There's something about it that doesn't make, it doesn't, it's not comfortable for me.

Speaker 2 I feel very

Speaker 1 why you should keep trying.

Speaker 2 Well, you got to think about somebody else, I guess, is the first part.

Speaker 3 Well, that's just, I guess so, yeah.

Speaker 3 Instead, I'm thinking about me and embarrassing myself, and i should just be kind of just channeling love for the other person but that's a great note i'm gonna use that next time but anyway i didn't think about it at the time and the host drops a microphone in my hand and i totally froze up no and you forgot where you were i didn't even think i could have just bailed out and said you know what happy birthday i didn't even think that i thought i had to come up with a bit i thought i had to do it like a set so what did you do and i said i literally said out loud oh my god think of a good dad joke and i couldn't even think of one of the many that you've told told me.

Speaker 3 And I just looked up at him. I must have looked so horrified and pathetic.

Speaker 3 He looked at me with such pity and just slowly pulled the microphone back out of my hand

Speaker 3 and moved on to someone else.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, it's not for you.

Speaker 1 It's not your thing.

Speaker 2 I can't do it. That's interesting.
I mean, if we think about it, considering how you've been performing since

Speaker 2 you were such a little kid,

Speaker 3 but I get different about a microphone, a spotlight, and a stay.

Speaker 1 I'm not comfortable with it either.

Speaker 1 But you know what, though? I have a good friend who forced me to, anytime I went to her house, she would make people stand up and give speeches.

Speaker 1 And at your birthday, like two, three years ago, I started the speech thing, remember, at Richard's house? Yeah. And I was like, oh, get up.
Everybody says something nice about Jason.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I do it because I'm scared of it, because I'm like, I have to work through whatever this is. Leaning into the fear.

Speaker 2 What's that?

Speaker 2 Leaning into the fear.

Speaker 1 Yeah, leaning into the fear. And every time you do it, it gets better and better.

Speaker 3 Well, I hope so, because

Speaker 3 that was very humbling.

Speaker 3 Let's get our guest take on how fucking rude Sean is and what a baby I am.

Speaker 2 I pulled a bat girl. Yeah, here we go.

Speaker 3 So, guys, today we got a fellow who is funny, okay? But he's not just funny. He's also smart.
He went to Georgetown, for Christ's sake. His mom is a nurse.

Speaker 3 His dad's a doctor, but he's not just smart either. Guys, he also...

Speaker 3 is our least favorite word. He's a storyteller.

Speaker 2 No kidding. But a real one.

Speaker 3 I like it. Some folks have referred to it as a comedic monologue, but he's not just that either.
He's also an actor, a director, a writer, a husband, a dad.

Speaker 2 And right now, he's our guest.

Speaker 3 Dudes, please welcome the man of many things, comedy Swiss Army knife, y'all.

Speaker 2 Here he is, Mike Berbiglia.

Speaker 3 I think Will was just saying the other day, you know, we should get Mike Berbiglia on the show.

Speaker 1 Wait, you, Mike, you've been on my, you've been on my list for like we have talked.

Speaker 2 We have talked about getting Mike on the show. And I, Mike, hi, Mike.
Hey, how are you?

Speaker 3 I already had him.

Speaker 2 I'm really good, man. It's been a minute.

Speaker 5 It's been since we were in Popstar together, I think.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no, no, no. It's been, I've seen you since then.
Oh, no. We did that benefit for Canada.
You came in very kindly, did that benefit.

Speaker 2 Talk about a guy who stood up in front of people during the pandemic when you guys were all worried about when the government was trying to depopulate.

Speaker 2 I forget what they were trying to do, but they were trying to do something.

Speaker 2 The government had this crazy plan to get us all.

Speaker 2 And we, Mike, kindly, we did this, this charity for this hospital in Canada, and he very kindly showed up and did a set

Speaker 2 virtually, which is

Speaker 2 so fucking hard. Oh, wait.
So you.

Speaker 5 And I had such admiration for what you did.

Speaker 2 You were so funny and so fucking good, Mike. And doing it into a camera.

Speaker 2 It was honestly. I loved it.

Speaker 3 It was like via Zoom or something.

Speaker 2 You kind of

Speaker 2 watched it.

Speaker 5 Stand Zoom. Via Zoom.

Speaker 2 And all the people, thousands or hundreds and thousands of people in Toronto for this thing were watching him. And he's got to do it with no crowd in front to the camera.

Speaker 2 And I thought, man, that is, first of all, you got to be really funny to pull that off.

Speaker 5 Thanks a lot, man. Yeah, it was fun.

Speaker 2 It was very kind of you.

Speaker 5 And well, you know, the other thing about that gig, it ended up being a seminal thing for me because Steve Martin also performed.

Speaker 2 Yes. Well, Steve came and did a QA with me, which was also kind.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 And then I did a joke that he, so I had a joke that's in my new special, The Old Man in the Pool. And I say, I love pizza so much.
I get excited when I see the word plaza.

Speaker 2 That's a great joke.

Speaker 5 Because the word pizza is exciting. It has pizza in it.
Each of the Z's is two slices. The A is a slice.

Speaker 5 It's five slices in one word, which is a rarely used literary device I invented called Anamata pizza now

Speaker 5 the reason why I bring this up is that Steve Martin was on the on the zoom with us and he wrote me a side note and he goes hey I love that anomata pizza joke and I immediately put it in my show and it's in the final show it's because and it's because of him that I put it in no way

Speaker 2 yeah true story

Speaker 5 did you grow up loving Steve Martin were you a huge fan oh my I mean yeah the great the great uh the giant I mean it's the the I mean honestly like Born Standing Up is a book.

Speaker 2 One of the best. I read it.
Yeah. I mean,

Speaker 2 it's so good.

Speaker 5 The great books about comedy. And then when I was starting out on the road, driving around the country and listening to Steve Martin albums.
I mean, that's all I was listening to.

Speaker 5 He was in the audience for Old Man in the Pool.

Speaker 5 When he is in the audience sometimes for my shows, I feel self-conscious because I'm looking at him going, I have stolen this all from you.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah. Now, Will, you know him a little bit.
Why haven't you gotten him on the show yet?

Speaker 2 Well, we've talked about it. I know Steve a very little bit.

Speaker 2 And Sean does too. And he's very good, obviously, really close with Marty Short.

Speaker 2 And first of all, I thought, Sean, when you said to Mike, I thought you said, did you grow up loving, I thought you were going to say, did you grow up loving pizza like I did?

Speaker 2 That's my

Speaker 2 follow-up. That's my follow-up.

Speaker 2 But yeah, I feel the same way.

Speaker 2 I love Steve as well. And I read his book like you guys and was just blown away by it and just everything he says and just, you know,

Speaker 2 he's Steve Martin. What do you say, right? I mean, he's.

Speaker 1 Well, that he can write, he can write stand-up. He can write books.
He can write specials. He can write.

Speaker 2 He can play music.

Speaker 2 But also, what I love about him, too, is he has such a wider view. There's so many people we know who

Speaker 2 do what we do. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But have such a...

Speaker 2 who really kind of, that's what they are. They're a stand-up comic or they're an actor and that's kind of what they do.
And Steve has such a broader view of the world. You know, he collects art.

Speaker 2 He's interested in music. He does a lot.
And he is truly a well-rounded person. I don't think there's...

Speaker 3 I'm going to save this for when you get him on the show.

Speaker 2 And I was going to say, I'm going to work on the story. I was going to say, I want to talk about

Speaker 2 it. Because I'm saying that Mike appreciates him in this same way because he read his book and appreciates him.

Speaker 2 And I think that, Mike, a lot of your stand-up also is about not just about...

Speaker 2 It is kind of like you are a storyteller. I hate saying it.
Oh, God. I can't believe you said it.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 I don't mind that word. You don't.

Speaker 3 Well, in this context,

Speaker 3 it's filmmakers that are called storytellers.

Speaker 2 We have a tough time when filmmakers go. As a storyteller, you know.
No, I'm just a storyteller.

Speaker 5 It's like, oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay. Yeah, I guess you're going to be able to do it.

Speaker 3 But you, Mike.

Speaker 2 But you, Mike. That's what you do.
Yeah. It is.

Speaker 3 And so

Speaker 3 it's not joke, joke, joke, joke, joke. It's you're walking people through a situation, and in that situation are many funny things.
Yes?

Speaker 5 Yeah, because I think, you know, what happened, what what it started out in, when I was in college, I was studying screenwriting and playwriting.

Speaker 5 And then I was doing stand-up at a comedy club in Washington, D.C.

Speaker 5 And I was working the door and I was kind of watching all these comedians come through.

Speaker 5 And then at a certain point, I kind of merged those two things and I started telling stories, started telling stories on This American Life and on the Moth.

Speaker 5 And then I created what, you know, I started, my first one was called Sleepwalk With Me, one of these solo shows. And Nathan Lane presented it.

Speaker 5 And it really actually kind of changed my life it was 2008.

Speaker 1 i love that

Speaker 5 what do you what are you doing studying screenwriting at georgetown isn't that supposed to be like uh the law capital of the world or it is you know it is but in my in in my class in my screenwriting class uh was joan and nolan oh uh that sure sure sure went on to write the prestige and memento and all kinds of amazing stuff i'm gonna look those up i'm gonna look those up jordan nardino uh uh uh brendan O'Brien wrote Neighbors.

Speaker 5 There are a lot of writers who ended up in this. It was this class taught by this guy named John Gladwin.

Speaker 2 Where do you go? JB, you've offended a lot of great writers.

Speaker 3 I'm just saying,

Speaker 3 it's sort of a backhanded compliment. I mean, that place is

Speaker 3 a very difficult school to get accepted to.

Speaker 3 You also have a law degree.

Speaker 2 Yes, exactly.

Speaker 5 I also have a law degree. I picked up a lot of degrees there.
But no, I agree with you. Storytelling is one of those things where when you say, I'm going to tell a story, people are like, oh, God.

Speaker 5 But I think the key to it is it just has to be funny all the way through.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I love story.

Speaker 5 I think it's a very unique

Speaker 2 skill because,

Speaker 2 and there are a lot of different kinds of comics and some who just are like, we know them.

Speaker 2 Some are just like absolute, just a joke, just a line, just a turn of phrase or whatever, and that's their thing.

Speaker 2 But to be able to tell a story and hold people through a story and be kind of funny the whole way and then pay it off. It's really satisfying as

Speaker 3 an audience member. Now, let me ask you this.

Speaker 2 Because

Speaker 2 it's tough to do. It is tough.

Speaker 3 What would you say, since you've had these great one-man shows,

Speaker 3 what would be the difference considering your stand-up style

Speaker 3 is much like what one would consider maybe a one-man show would be like?

Speaker 3 What would you characterize the major differences between your one-man shows and the work that you do, the writing that you do for a stand-up set?

Speaker 5 I just think like a typical stand-up is basically built on the premise of you have a series of setup punchline, set up, punchline, set up, punchline.

Speaker 5 My sort of like what I've learned through the years is

Speaker 5 those jokes can be part of a five-minute story.

Speaker 5 And if you have 10 five-minute stories that add up to a single story, that's really the goal of all my shows.

Speaker 5 And if there can be an emotional payoff at the end of it, you know, like the last show I I did on Netflix was called The New One. It was all about how all the reasons why.

Speaker 2 Hang on a second.

Speaker 5 It was all about how I never wanted to have a child and then and then and then essentially how I had a child and why I was right and then ultimately why I was wrong, you know, and that's the emotional turn of it.

Speaker 5 But I mean, that's, I've always just felt like it's kind of a matter of like, what do you want to pack into your 90 minutes? It's like, that's why I love movies. Like I love movies.

Speaker 2 One of those big tins of caramel corn, you know, a Star Wars movie. Yeah.
And maybe, sorry, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 I thought you were saying, what does Sean want to pack into 90 minutes?

Speaker 2 You know those big tins? It's like a big tin and it's caramel corn.

Speaker 5 By the way, I relate to Sean going home early from the party. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You do.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. Are you kidding? But you would have stuck around, Mike.
Mike, you would have stuck around. You're a good one.

Speaker 3 But Mike, just to close this loop, so

Speaker 5 if one were to go to one of your Broadway or West End or all these other places you've had such success with your one-man shows that are that are different than going to see you do a set at a at a comedy place doing a stand-up thing what would the what would what is the difference between your one-man show and and doing like a uh a stand-up special so this so a stand-up when i when i do clubs or like i'm going out on tour right now with my next show which is called please stop the ride and it's like 25 cities and that'll be stand-up it'll be the early stages of what become my one person shows are stand-up it's like a bunch of jokes it's a bunch of stories it's free form there's improv anything can happen and those shows are are fun in their own way and then at a certain point like you know

Speaker 5 less scripted yeah and at a certain point like uh when i first started out with these shows in 2008 with sleepwalk with me i started working with this director seth barrish and so over the years like we'll construct we'll go you know he he'll go you know what I get from what you're saying as a story is this.

Speaker 5 And I'll go, oh, okay, I wasn't intending that. I was intending this.
And I'll rewrite it.

Speaker 5 And it's kind of like a series of revisions and revisions and revisions until I'm actually conveying the story that I'm intending.

Speaker 5 What's in my head, basically.

Speaker 3 And that one, Sleepwalking With Me, was

Speaker 3 motivated, birthed by, prompted by,

Speaker 3 tell these fellas, I've done my research.

Speaker 3 Tell these fellas

Speaker 5 what that, yeah that's a literal title so sleepwalk with me is based on uh

Speaker 5 a a story that happened to me which is that i have a very serious sleepwalking disorder called rem sleep behavior disorder i want to ask you about that and so and so it started out uh years ago i was in my 20s i was living with my girlfriend at the time i started having a recurring dream there was a hovering insect-like jackal in our bedroom and i'd jump on the bed and i'd strike a karate pose and and my girlfriend abby would go did did you know did you know karate no no i had i had the books from book fair when i was a kid but i never took it

Speaker 5 okay but uh but i you know i jump on the bed and she i said there's a jackal in the room and she goes there's no jackal i go okay and i go to bed and then it got it got increasingly worse and

Speaker 5 i had this incident in I was in Walla Walla, Washington, which is in eastern Washington. That's where it all happened.
And

Speaker 5 I was at

Speaker 5 La Quinta Inn. Sure.

Speaker 5 It was a hot spot of trouble.

Speaker 5 And I had a dream that there was a guided missile headed towards my room. Sure.
And there's all these military personnel. I jump out of bed.
I say, what's the plan?

Speaker 5 And they say,

Speaker 2 it's coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm very action-oriented in my dreams. I'm a hero in those dreams.
Were you in the pose still? I was in the pose. I'm in the pose.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 Fuck. And they say, and they say, it's come to our attention.
The missile coordinates are set on you.

Speaker 5 And I was later diagnosed with the same same thing, REM sleep behavior disorder, where people act out their dreams.

Speaker 5 And so I decided in my dream, and as it turns out in my life, to jump out my window so as to detonate outside the window for the sake of the platoon.

Speaker 2 Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 And you remember the dream that vividly?

Speaker 5 I do, yeah. I literally, it's funny you should say that, Sean, because I wrote it down that night.
I took photos of it. You know, I post some on my Instagram sometimes.

Speaker 5 Like the actual, I jumped, there's two important details. One,

Speaker 5 I was on the second floor.

Speaker 2 Uh, two,

Speaker 5 the window was closed. It was January.
So, I jumped through a second-story window like the Hulk, like the Incredible Hulk.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Now, this was going to help your situation in what way, though? You said to detonate yourself?

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's a very great question, Jason. It's

Speaker 5 to detonate outside the window for the sake of the platoon.

Speaker 3 But the missile was incoming.

Speaker 2 Yes, indeed. Yeah, but it was coming.
But it was on him. It was on him, dude.
oh, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Okay, movie.

Speaker 5 So I jumped through the window. Yep.

Speaker 2 And these are guys that you've been in the shit with. So you want to save.

Speaker 2 You want to save. Obviously, you guys have been through a lot.
You're like brothers. Yeah, we're a band of brothers in Walla Walla, Washington.
We gotcha.

Speaker 2 We'll be right back.

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Speaker 5 So you decided to move the target away from

Speaker 3 whoever you were sleeping with and the other people.

Speaker 2 And you were going to, yeah.

Speaker 3 So you land in the parking lot?

Speaker 5 I land actually on the front lawn of the motel.

Speaker 5 And I

Speaker 5 take a fall. I take a fall and I get up and I keep running.
Oh, my God. And I'm running and I'm slowly realizing I'm on the front lawn.

Speaker 5 of La Quinta Inn in Walla Walla, Washington in my underwear bleeding.

Speaker 5 And I'm like, like, oh no.

Speaker 5 But in that moment, I was relieved that I hadn't been hit by the missile.

Speaker 2 Yet. Sure.
I remember that.

Speaker 5 Yeah, exactly. I thought that would have been a disaster.
At least I'm still in the game.

Speaker 2 Wait, so the fall didn't wake you up?

Speaker 5 Fall?

Speaker 2 The fall sort of woke me up. The fall sort of woke me up.

Speaker 2 Well, hang on. The going through the glass window didn't wake you up.

Speaker 3 Or the big gash? No.

Speaker 2 No. No.

Speaker 5 I went to the front desk and I said, hi. I'm bleeding.
I'm in my underwear. Yeah.
And I go, hey, I'm staying at the motel.

Speaker 5 I had an incident wherein I jumped through my, by the way, years later, I got an email from this guy at the front desk saying, hey, I was the guy.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God.

Speaker 5 I go, I was at the motel. I'm staying here.
I jumped through my window.

Speaker 2 I'm going to need a second key. I'm bleeding.

Speaker 5 I'm bleeding. I'm bleeding.
I need to see a doctor. I need a second key.
And he goes, all right. And he goes, and so I drove myself to the hospital and I

Speaker 5 checked myself. You know, I went to the, I had to explain three times what happened.
The nurse, the receptionist, the doctor, I'm, no, I'm the Hulk. I'm the Hulk.
I'm the Hulk.

Speaker 5 You know, one guy was like, no, you're Bruce Banner. I was like, point taken.

Speaker 3 You still think you're dreaming?

Speaker 5 No, no, no. At this point, no, no.
At this point, I'm kind of.

Speaker 2 No, no, no. At this point, he just thinks he's the Hulk, dude.

Speaker 5 No, I, I, so I explained what happened. The doctor

Speaker 5 took glass out of my legs.

Speaker 5 Literally took glass out of my legs.

Speaker 2 Fuck me.

Speaker 5 The glass was about a centimeter from my femoral artery.

Speaker 5 And if it had struck there, I would have just blat out on the front lawn and died.

Speaker 5 And then I flew back to New York and I did what I should have done when I saw the jackal and everything.

Speaker 5 I went to a doctor who specializes in sleep disorders and I was diagnosed with this serious thing.

Speaker 2 Fuck.

Speaker 5 But that story. So that story in the context of my first solo show, which was called Sleepwalk With Me, it became an independent film and everything.
And it was that you directed.

Speaker 2 That I directed. And

Speaker 5 thanks. And

Speaker 5 it was, I mean, thematically, and in real life, truthfully, it really was. It's really about denial and about being in denial of the fact that I have this sleep disorder and not dealing with it.

Speaker 1 Do you still have it and suffer from it? And what do you do?

Speaker 5 And so I,

Speaker 5 I was diagnosed with REM sleep behavior disorder.

Speaker 5 I was prescribed medication and I still had sleepwalk issues. And

Speaker 5 I said to my doctor, like, hey, I still have this sometimes. And

Speaker 5 she goes, well, one thing you could do is you could sleep in a sleeping bag up to your neck and you could wear mittens so you can't open the sleeping bag.

Speaker 5 And so I did that for a period of time. I don't really do that as much.

Speaker 2 Until summer.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Probably dropped a lot of water weight in there.

Speaker 2 Oh, wow. So she said that, she said, do that.

Speaker 2 And then that worked for a little while. And then.
And then, so what do you do now? And then what? Then just meth? Just fuck it. I'm not sleeping ever again.
No, no, that's.

Speaker 2 I've been up for two years. Strap you down, right?

Speaker 2 I've been up for two years. I've been up for two years.
And fucking

Speaker 2 fucking beat this thing. Hey, first of all, Mike, I would just want to go back real quick.
How'd they get the missile? How'd they get your coordinates?

Speaker 5 That's a great question.

Speaker 2 I mean...

Speaker 5 I think about that. I think about this all the time.
Like,

Speaker 5 I actually didn't. I don't watch shocking movies.
I don't watch, you know, things late at night because I worry that it's going to affect my dreams. Of course.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 But that day, it's not even like I watched anything shocking. I was just driving through like the Cascade Mountains.
This is a period in my life in my 20s where I was performing at colleges.

Speaker 5 I was performing in like gymnasiums and cafeterias. It was like a really, it was, it was, it was in the grind.
And I was just listening to a.

Speaker 5 like an NPR report on the radio about like missile defense.

Speaker 5 And of course, that's what invaded me.

Speaker 1 So can you take a nap and will this happen if you take a nap? And now how do you sleep? And

Speaker 1 do you sleep rest? Like do you feel rested?

Speaker 2 I sleep a lot better. People,

Speaker 5 I'm one of those people where I have the thing

Speaker 5 and all my friends know I have the sleepwalking thing. And when they have an issue sleeping, they call me like I'm a doctor.
And of course I'm not.

Speaker 5 And so I always recommend this book that was written years ago called The Promise of Sleep. And it's a lot of of it's like sleep hygiene stuff.

Speaker 5 Like my sleep is better because like a few hours before bed, I shut off my phone. I stopped watching the news, whatever it is.
And I sort of like, I think about landing.

Speaker 5 One way to look at it is like landing into sleep as opposed to crashing into sleep.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 But honestly, in a real practical way, is the medication that that doctor prescribed you

Speaker 3 sufficient, adequate? Have there been no more episodes? Do you not worry about going to sleep that you're going to know, start walking around and do stuff like this?

Speaker 2 Or murder someone?

Speaker 5 Yeah. Yeah, no, that's definitely a, it's a concern.
And, and like, I, I monitor it very, very closely.

Speaker 5 And, you know, I, I don't even want, the truth is, I don't want to take the drug, you know, like a few, I have to. Like a few years, like recently, I actually looked up the

Speaker 5 side effects of the, it's clonopin, you know, it's clonosin. Oh, yeah, I've taken the drug I take, yeah.

Speaker 5 And it was like the side, you know, it was this, recently it was like the side effects I looked in.

Speaker 5 It was just like, it was like, it was like depression, you know, poor motor skills and, you know, something else. And I was like, oh, that's, I thought that was my personality.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, Sean, you, you, I think you're taking too much, Sean.

Speaker 2 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 Well, but, but, boy, but I, I get, what, what, what would, what would, I mean, I would probably,

Speaker 3 I would have to, I'd be so worried about falling asleep that I never would be able to fall asleep. Um, and I wouldn't want to take that medication.

Speaker 3 I probably would like strap myself down, but then you wouldn't be able to roll over. So I'd probably like devise some sort of box over my bed.

Speaker 3 I'd like build a box, like a cage to sleep in, something like that.

Speaker 2 And I'd talk about that more. Talk about the cage.

Speaker 5 There's a period of time where my wife Jenny has, of course, had to deal with this for many, many years. Poor Jenny.
And

Speaker 5 the, I know.

Speaker 5 Jenny comes for so many reasons.

Speaker 2 Jenny walks in the room. She's like missing an eye.
She's got like

Speaker 2 walking on cage. She's wearing a single.

Speaker 5 By the way, she and I listen to the podcast all the time. She's going to be devastated that this is her mention in the podcast.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no.

Speaker 3 She's a poet.

Speaker 2 You're a hero. She's a poet in her own right.

Speaker 5 How did you meet Jenny? I met Jenny in St. Louis.

Speaker 2 He strangled her once at midnight in St. Louis by the bus station.
Okay. Okay.
Settle down.

Speaker 5 Settle down.

Speaker 2 Settle down.

Speaker 5 And we met in St. Louis many years ago.
And

Speaker 5 yeah,

Speaker 5 it was one of those things. It was, for me, it was, you know, it was love at first sight.
Like we were both on work,

Speaker 5 you know, on work trips and I just fell in love with her immediately. And

Speaker 5 I'm in love with her to this very day.

Speaker 5 You know, it was a great thing that I loved from your McEnroe episode recently is he said this thing about he and his wife, which is, which is that they let each other. be who they are.

Speaker 5 And I was like, oh, that's such a beautiful sentiment.

Speaker 5 I said to Jenny, I go, oh,

Speaker 5 I think of us that way.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 5 she's a poet and I'm a comedian. And those are two people who don't know how heating and electricity work.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Sure. I love that.
I like that he said that, too. And I was thinking about it, too.
And, right, you guys would agree. Jason, for sure, Amanda lets you be who she is.
And I think that that's

Speaker 2 one of the great things that makes it work for you guys.

Speaker 2 Mike.

Speaker 3 Now, Mike, you've got a podcast of your own called Working It Out.

Speaker 2 it out.

Speaker 3 So it's an exercise.

Speaker 3 It's just at the gym.

Speaker 5 Well, similar to it. You're just

Speaker 3 interviewing trainers and

Speaker 5 similar to Smartlist. Working it out was a pandemic, baby, because I couldn't perform as a stand-up in front of audiences.

Speaker 5 And so I was like, so I started asking my friends, you know, John Mulaney and Bill Hayter and Conan O'Brien, different people to work out jokes live on the show. And

Speaker 5 so now we're 115 115 episodes in and it's like a big part of my life.

Speaker 2 Like I just love doing it. That's great.

Speaker 2 Yeah. It's the best.

Speaker 1 What's one of your earliest jokes that you wrote and that's tried and true always works?

Speaker 5 From from my whole career or from the from this show? Either. Well, it's funny.

Speaker 5 Like the first joke that made sense to me as like, I feel like with comedians, it takes you years to find your voice and figure out like what, you know, what's what's authentic to you.

Speaker 5 And there was a joke I did early on where I said,

Speaker 5 my girlfriend and I are

Speaker 5 living together and she's starting to

Speaker 5 think about having kids, which is exciting because we're going to have to break up.

Speaker 5 I've just, I've decided I'm not going to have kids until I'm sure nothing else good can happen in my life.

Speaker 2 And it was

Speaker 5 one of those jokes where it was the first time where I was like, oh, it's not even a punchline. It's just a thought that sort of has an internal twist to it.

Speaker 5 And that's sort of how I try to think about jokes is like that

Speaker 5 if they

Speaker 5 don't even have to strain credibility even. You know what I mean?

Speaker 5 The turn is authentic and the setup is authentic.

Speaker 2 Have you ever told a joke about something in your life?

Speaker 2 And someone in your life who's mentioned it by obviously starting probably probably with your wife, but like other people or anything like that where somebody's gone, like, hey, man, were you talking about this?

Speaker 2 And that they were like put off by it?

Speaker 5 I have it all the time, every time I'm on stage. Wow.

Speaker 5 Like, in other words, like, I think about that constantly. The

Speaker 5 sort of what, what can I talk about? What can't I talk about?

Speaker 2 Like, I have that with my daughter, for example.

Speaker 5 Like, cause right now she's eight years old,

Speaker 5 which is an amazing age, but

Speaker 5 I'm incapable of living in the present. And so my brain goes to when she's 15 and she's going to be like, my dad is garbage.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 And because I'm ready for that. Like I'm open to that.

Speaker 5 It happens. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. And,

Speaker 5 but I, but my dad didn't have to deal with that. I grew up in the 80s.
You know, we said it, but they didn't listen. You know, they were just like, is someone talking?

Speaker 5 And, but when my daughter's 15, she's going to be like, my dad is garbage. And I'm going to be like, you're so brave.
That's so true. How can I amplify your voice? You know what I mean?

Speaker 5 So I think about that all the time.

Speaker 5 Like I think about like even I have a joke about my daughter that I've been saying recently where like I said, Jenny and I went to see my daughter her ballet recital and we're in the audience.

Speaker 5 We're just crying and crying because she doesn't have it, you know.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I can tell right away.

Speaker 5 And it's one of those things where I'm doing the joke and I'm thinking to myself, eventually Una, my daughter, is going to see this joke. And like, what's she going to think?

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 3 Right.

Speaker 3 I made the mistake of working my kids and my wife into some stuff I was talking about on talk shows every once in a while. And my wife eventually just pulled me aside and said, that's no more.

Speaker 2 No more. No more.

Speaker 3 Come up with stuff that is funny, but has nothing to do with me or the girls.

Speaker 3 But that's you can't. That's your life.
Your wife and

Speaker 3 your daughter, they can't take that off the table for you, right?

Speaker 2 I mean, I was going to say, I go through the same thing too. And I've done it before on talk shows as well.
And my kids are older, like Jason's, my older kids are older. And so you do that thing.

Speaker 2 And a couple of times, like we've talked on

Speaker 2 the podcast, and I'm driving with my, and my kids are like, well, listen to it. Or they've driven it.
And they're go like,

Speaker 2 are you? Like, I can, it's just a weird because they are at that age now. And then they're kind of like, hey, man, look, they're looking not even my, my partner.

Speaker 2 It's my kids looking at me like, hey, dude, are you talking about me?

Speaker 2 Yeah. sorry, yeah.

Speaker 3 Or, but, and of course, you embellish a little bit to kind of make it funny, and but no one knows that, and they know that, but they know that, and it's, yeah, it's I said this before, Mike, on the show, but I tried to do stand-up years and years and years and years and years ago, horrible at it, didn't know how to write.

Speaker 1 And one of my jokes had to do with ballet. My opening joke was, you know, they say ballet is one of the most difficult things you can do, so I say, just don't do it.

Speaker 5 I don't, I feel like, I feel like the

Speaker 5 non-laughter was intentional from Jason and Will.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Well, we've heard that one before.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I keep waiting. And there's, you know what I say to Sean? One day there'll be a punchline.
Yeah. Well, first of all, Sean.
I've been thinking about it.

Speaker 5 First of all, a lot of people come on the show and say they saw Good Night Oscar and loved it. I've got the program in my office right here.

Speaker 2 You came to the show?

Speaker 5 Yeah, and it's unsigned. I stood by the stage door

Speaker 5 for hours.

Speaker 2 Did you come back?

Speaker 3 Sean doesn't like the people.

Speaker 5 I'm such a big fan of yours. Thank you so much.

Speaker 5 I'm just intimidated. I always feel like I'm going to be in the way.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, but that's an honor that we're going to be talking about. We talked about it on the show.
We talked about that recently. We talked about that recently.

Speaker 3 Mike, you probably felt it would be presumptuous for me to just knock on the door and say, hey, I'm famous. You're famous.
Let's talk.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
Right? But had I known,

Speaker 2 I would have invited you down. I had somebody sign it for you.

Speaker 3 Mike, are you the funniest guy in your family growing up? Or was mom and dad or mom or dad someone that gave you the funny gene?

Speaker 5 Close call. I mean, it depends on who you ask.

Speaker 5 My brother Joe, you know, a lot of times people will ask my mom, they'll go, was he always funny growing up? And she'll go, no, no,

Speaker 5 he's very serious.

Speaker 5 And then she'll say to me, she'll go, you know, you comedians are so serious. And I'm like, how many comedians do you know? You know, like, are you texting Ronnie Chang?

Speaker 5 Are you on an email chain with Roy Wood Jr.?

Speaker 2 Like, what is what is happening here?

Speaker 5 Yeah, but, but, uh, no, and my brother, but my brother Joe, I feel like has the reputation as being the funniest one in the family.

Speaker 5 And he and I work together and collaborate on writing and everything, which is, has been very cool.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's cool.

Speaker 5 It's a funny, it's a fun, it's a funny family. It's a, it is, I don't know who's intending to be funny and who isn't.

Speaker 5 You know, my, growing up, my dad, my dad's very funny, but he would get very angry growing up. He'd be like, God damn it, I'm eating pretzels.
You know, be like, is he angry? Is he hungry?

Speaker 5 What is the emotion being expressed?

Speaker 2 There's a lot of fireworks. A lot of it's a loud house.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Where was this house? What part of the world were we in? Massachusetts.

Speaker 1 Massachusetts. And how many siblings?

Speaker 5 I'm the youngest of four. So I was sort of like the,

Speaker 5 is there another child?

Speaker 2 Hang on, what part of Massachusetts?

Speaker 3 Shrewsbury.

Speaker 2 Shrewsbury. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And what's Berbiglia? What nationality?

Speaker 5 Berbigli is Italian.

Speaker 2 Great question. Great question.

Speaker 1 Well, just because you're youngest of like a business.

Speaker 2 That's why you like to put people into boxes, Sean? Oh, so he's Italian. You got it all.
What kind of box do you want to put him in? A pasta box?

Speaker 2 What are you going to do? What are you going to get? It's an elbow macaroni? What are you going to do?

Speaker 2 You want him to forget about the question? F you, Sean. Mike, I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 Now, Mike, you know,

Speaker 3 being a guy who does what you do.

Speaker 5 Hey well, I'm not offended, just so you know. I'm not offended.

Speaker 2 God damn it.

Speaker 3 Doing what you do,

Speaker 3 you literally, you work alone,

Speaker 3 except when you're collaborating with your brother.

Speaker 3 But so when you went, when you when you did the directing stuff

Speaker 3 or when you're acting on something and it's much more of a

Speaker 3 teamwork, right? A team sport, are you able to switch gears easily or is it kind of like

Speaker 2 uncomfortable?

Speaker 5 I do. I love that.
I love the collaboration side of the field. Like I, like, I started when I was in college, I was casting the improv troupe, and that was sort of like at Georgetown.

Speaker 5 That sort of changed my life. And, and I know you, I loved your Mulaney episode, and he was talking about it.

Speaker 5 So, Mulaney basically was cast by Nick Kroll in the same improv group that I cast Nick Kroll in like a year before.

Speaker 2 Oh, wow. No way.

Speaker 5 Yeah. So, Nick and John and I have been friends for years and years.
And then, when John moved to New York, he came on tour with me. And so, we've just known each other forever.

Speaker 5 But the improv community, like, I feel like that sort of formed my entire

Speaker 5 approach to creativity and creation and all the rules of yes, anding everything. And, like, I, like, I made a movie about it.

Speaker 5 It's called Don't Think Twice with Keegan Michael Key and Gillian Jacobs, where it's a bunch of

Speaker 5 best friends in an improv group, uh, and then one of them gets cast on sort of a Saturday Night Live type of show, and the rest of them don't.

Speaker 5 And it's sort of about what happens in life when people realize that not everything's fair.

Speaker 2 What kind of, were you guys doing like Heralds and that kind of thing? Yeah, okay.

Speaker 5 We believe it or yeah, we actually, when when I was in college, we were doing Heralds. We, there was Improv Olympic actually came and did workshops with us.

Speaker 5 There was a, there was a, a group across town at GW called Recess and UCB4 with like Amy and Matt and Matt and Ian came and did workshops with them.

Speaker 2 Oh, they did.

Speaker 2 Who came down from Improv Olympic?

Speaker 5 So it was this, it was this group called Frank Booth, and they were fantastic. And it was

Speaker 5 this, you know, so Sharna Halperin came.

Speaker 2 Sharna, of course.

Speaker 5 And it was, and Liz Allen, who ended up years later, being,

Speaker 5 we hired her as the coach of our fictional improv group in this movie, Don't Think Twice. And so, yeah,

Speaker 5 the collaboration, like, I love.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 1 well, now, well, speaking of that, Mike, you know, like, you're so funny and so, such a brilliant writer and such a brilliant performer.

Speaker 2 Truly, do you have the aspirations to... What's that? There's a but.

Speaker 2 But.

Speaker 2 But you seem like a dick.

Speaker 2 Like a dick. Like a dick.
You seem like a dick.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 but like, but like other Italians I've met. Is that what you're going, Sean?

Speaker 2 For fuck's sake.

Speaker 5 Wait, Sean,

Speaker 5 as a fan of the show, can I ask Sean something, which is,

Speaker 5 is it ever, are these guys ever too much on you?

Speaker 2 Are you joking?

Speaker 3 We get pages of text afterwards. Like, do you want to know what, you guys, when you, I feel, it's all bad.

Speaker 2 It is true. It is true a lot of the time.
Yeah, it's pretty bad.

Speaker 2 And we will be right back.

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Speaker 3 All right, back to the show.

Speaker 5 I'm sorry, Shuffle.

Speaker 2 What was your question? I apologize.

Speaker 3 Probably, wait, can I do it?

Speaker 3 Have you ever forgotten a joke when you were on stage?

Speaker 2 Did you forget about it?

Speaker 3 Did you have somebody have to throw you a line?

Speaker 2 You have a podcast. Have you ever forgotten your question doing your podcasts?

Speaker 2 What's your funniest podcast moment?

Speaker 5 Sean, these are great questions.

Speaker 2 These are really spot on. I'm crossing the motion.
I'm not sure what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 no, have you, like if this was the 80s or 90s and you were as brilliant as you are now, they'd hand you a sitcom, right? And now people aren't really doing those, that kind of thing anymore. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So are you doing the dream?

Speaker 1 Are you doing the dream that you've always, which is stand-up and writing and touring and all of that or is there more that you want to do that you haven't done first of all i've i auditioned once for the role of buster

Speaker 2 uh they gave it to

Speaker 2 buster yep yeah so jason and will just sorry to put you on the spot but do you feel like they went in the right direction with that one no certainly not the show would still be on the air if you were well but i'd love to see i mean i don't know because i don't know what you did it if you're prepared if you remember at all what you did i'd love to see it mike let's let's let's improvise a scene right now uh will you play Job.

Speaker 3 I'll play Mike. Was it Michael? Yes, Michael.
There he is.

Speaker 2 And then Busty. What do you think?

Speaker 3 And there's, there's, hey, hey, Buster.

Speaker 3 Bud, could you please take your shoes off before you bring that mud inside the house for us?

Speaker 5 Oh, I don't know. I don't know if I can.
I think I'm already inside the house.

Speaker 2 Of course you're inside. Look around you.
What is this? Your first time in a building? Sorry, Mike.

Speaker 2 Oh, I'm.

Speaker 5 Oh, I seem to have taken off my shirt.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah. No, shoes, please.
Just under the bell, bro, and take them off.

Speaker 5 There go my pants.

Speaker 3 And, Job, what are you so upset about? Did your segue run out of gas?

Speaker 2 See?

Speaker 2 Okay, sorry.

Speaker 2 I still got canceled.

Speaker 5 But to answer, Sean, to answer your question, yeah, like I, I auditioned for, I auditioned to play Jim on the offense.

Speaker 5 I auditioned to play Jonah on Veep.

Speaker 5 You know,

Speaker 5 I don't know what happened to any of those shows, but I'm fine with you.

Speaker 3 You're doing just

Speaker 2 nobody.

Speaker 2 You know what happened to all those shows, Mike? They all went off the air. You know who's not

Speaker 2 eventually. You know who's not off the air? You.
You. You.

Speaker 2 You. No, but I'm still on the air.

Speaker 5 Well, truthfully, like

Speaker 5 when I was in 2008, I got like a CBS sitcom. And I think that

Speaker 5 if I had had my drothers,

Speaker 5 it would be like something like arrested development, where it's like off the wall and

Speaker 5 improvisational and nuts and uh

Speaker 5 at cbs in 2008 yeah that was not on the menu no right right and so it became a very watered down mike berbiglia and by the end of it i was just like we shot the pilot and the cast was incredible nick kroll played my cousin and bob odenkirk played my brother and it was amazing it was as good as we could do within the constraints of network tv at that time but then it didn't get picked up for air and honestly it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.

Speaker 5 I was crushed at the time, but then I went back to New York and I mounted my first solo show, and then I went on to make, you know, all these solo shows.

Speaker 3 Right, and you were doing something that was an absolute bullseye for you and your sensibility as opposed to the other show

Speaker 2 wasn't, right? And you sort of watered down. It really wasn't.

Speaker 2 Everything happens for a reason that way. I had a similar experience doing a multicam that was going to would have killed me and

Speaker 2 had a similar experience. And it

Speaker 2 was it the one was it the one before right before arrested development yeah and it had that happened the michael mally no no no no no it was this other one called uh still standing that i did anyway and i and i got fired after the pilot and i was so you would have been unavailable for i would have been unavailable for arrested development and at the time

Speaker 2 brian callan said to me at the time when i got fired because i knew brian from way back in the day and he goes oh what you're mad that you're not the fucking fifth lead who every other episode walks in goes hey what what the hell happened to my couch

Speaker 2 okay

Speaker 2 He goes, You're fine. Just be happy and don't fucking worry about it.
And God's literally, he was like, God's doing you a favor in fucking six months.

Speaker 3 Anyway, now, Mike, when you went in and helped out

Speaker 3 our friend Jimmy Kimmel and you hosted his show for a week when he was suffering from

Speaker 2 COVID.

Speaker 2 He got an attack of the summers. Yeah, yeah.
Vicious. That was great, Mike.
Vicious. Now,

Speaker 3 did you, did you, was it,

Speaker 3 how was that taste? Is that something that you would want to do, maybe?

Speaker 5 I loved it.

Speaker 5 I mean, Jimmy is the greatest, obviously. And

Speaker 5 I was

Speaker 5 flying from...

Speaker 2 No, no, Fallon. He's talking about Fallon now.
Stay on my question. We're talking about Jimmy Kimmel.

Speaker 2 Okay, if you say so, Mike. I don't know.
I debate him. Get Kimmel in here.

Speaker 5 So I was in Chicago.

Speaker 5 As a matter of fact,

Speaker 5 exactly the same time Sean was in Chicago with Good Night Oscar, I was at Steppen Wolf, and they called, I was going to fly out to be a guest, and I was on Southwest Airlines, and I get a text from Jimmy Kimmel, and he goes,

Speaker 3 I'll switch you to private if you host for me.

Speaker 2 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 5 He goes, I might have COVID.

Speaker 5 And then

Speaker 5 five minutes later, he goes,

Speaker 5 you're going to be the host instead of the guest. And then five minutes after that, he texted me, you're interviewing Tom Cruise.
And five minutes after that, he texted, Tom Cruise has canceled.

Speaker 5 which means apparently he doesn't he's not willing to do all his own stunts he's not willing to go the distance yeah from Kimmel to Berbiglia sure right no well they should have they should have allowed uh Matt Damon to finally get uh get the show but

Speaker 5 no they still still bumped him huh but I loved it I mean yeah I mean he's

Speaker 5 I mean, Kimmel's amazing.

Speaker 3 But doing a talk show, hosting a talk show, and being able to improvise basically with guests, even though a lot of that stuff is sort of predetermined, what questions are going to be asked and roughly what answers are going to be given, you still, I would imagine, would just soar in that environment.

Speaker 5 I appreciate it. I mean, I love being able to do Working It Out as a podcast and then also do

Speaker 5 my stand-up and solo shows and touring. Like, I like the, I don't know.
I feel like

Speaker 5 thanks. Like, I feel like I'm lucky, especially like.

Speaker 2 I just say you want to do the late night show, for Christ's sake. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 2 Why are you fighting this shit?

Speaker 2 Well, you come in, you're combative. Because it's CBS.
It's never going to work for CBS. Take the late night gig.
I don't get it. What's your game, Babiga? What's your game? Do the late night gig.

Speaker 5 First of all, Will, first of all, Will, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that Will and I were in pop store together. And this is something, Will, you'll never hear because you're you.

Speaker 5 But I lived at the time The Lonely Island was making that movie. I lived next to Yorma Tacone from The Lonely Island.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 5 and he was writing that movie with those guys with Andy and Akiva. And

Speaker 5 he said to me, He goes, We're going to get, you know, he gets riled up, Yorma. He's like, We're going to get the funniest guys to play this group that's like in T, like a TMZ kind of group.

Speaker 5 And it's going to be like this person.

Speaker 5 And one day he came to me. He's like, We got Will Arnett to play the Levin, you know, character.
And he was so happy.

Speaker 5 And, and then on set,

Speaker 2 I don't know if this is,

Speaker 2 I don't know,

Speaker 5 but then, but then, no,

Speaker 5 on set, and I feel like you got to take this compliment.

Speaker 5 You broke a lot of takes because people were laughing so hard on this set.

Speaker 3 I need to see that movie, and then I want to watch Hot Rod, too.

Speaker 2 We should do a double bill.

Speaker 2 I thought you were going to say that Yorma, whom I adore.

Speaker 2 Yorma is one of the all-time greats, and you know, you're his neighbor and friend, and such a funny dude. I love all the lonely island guys, But

Speaker 2 Yorma.

Speaker 2 I was just going to say, let me finish on talking about Yorma.

Speaker 2 Sweet Yorma. Sweet, sweet Yorma.
Hey, Sean, cool it, huh?

Speaker 2 Yorma said we're going to get the funniest guys to play these guys at the TMZ, and then the next day he goes, okay, the funniest guys weren't available. We do have.

Speaker 1 Mike, first of all, I'm just remembering we DM'd each other after my show.

Speaker 2 Fucking cool it, dude.

Speaker 2 Oh, I wasn't wasn't going to bring it up. I wasn't going to bring it up.

Speaker 2 Thank you.

Speaker 1 And thank you for saying such nice things about it.

Speaker 1 But I did want to, because it's me, I want to say

Speaker 1 worst heckler, worst experience ever.

Speaker 5 Worst heckler. Oh, God.

Speaker 5 I feel like, honestly, you know, speaking of Steve Martin, like, I feel like his born standing up and like interviews he's given over the years are the best advice about dealing with audience.

Speaker 5 gone wrong stuff and he always says like just react honestly in the moment if you know like if someone you know,

Speaker 5 you know, shouts condom or some bullshit, you know, just like, why, sir,

Speaker 5 you know, I'm doing a show and thanks for being here, but that's actually not helpful. I have something prepared.
And like, and like, that's sort of,

Speaker 5 and what I find is that when you do that, is that it really just, it ends the thing because people just go like, no, I know. Oh, yeah, that guy's the asshole and this guy knows what he's doing.

Speaker 5 Let's move on.

Speaker 5 rather than rather than challenge or be challenging or aggressive back to him you mean yeah and i early in my career i was not good at this i mean i remember like you know i you know 20 years ago i i remember performing in a casino and

Speaker 5 there were these two guys in the front row who looked like maybe some kind of organized criminals and they weren't smiling or laughing they were very very angry and they were with these two women and they were just talking and talking and talking as though i wasn't there as though there wasn't a show of any kind.

Speaker 5 And so

Speaker 5 I kept being like, hey, maybe don't talk, maybe go talk somewhere else.

Speaker 5 And they just kept talking, talking.

Speaker 5 Finally, I didn't know what else to do. And I was inexperienced.
And I said, hey,

Speaker 5 gentlemen, I feel like.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 5 I said, gentlemen, I feel like

Speaker 5 maybe you should take your

Speaker 5 prostitutes. And

Speaker 5 I'm not standing behind this story. This is not, first of all, it's nothing I would say today.
I won't recommend this.

Speaker 5 And the guy looked at, and maybe you guys should leave. And the guy looked at me in the eye and he goes, I'm going to fucking kill you.

Speaker 2 And no one laughed. I didn't laugh.
He didn't laugh.

Speaker 5 The audience didn't laugh. We were all uncertain of what was about to happen.

Speaker 2 And then they escort this guy out.

Speaker 5 I'm with my brother Joe after the show. We're gambling

Speaker 5 at Blackjack Table. And Joe yells at me.
He goes, Mike, you can't do that. That's dangerous, you know, and you can't say that to people.
You can't say people's wives are prostitutes. And I go, Joe,

Speaker 5 it wasn't my best moment. I get it.
And at that moment, these two women come over. And they go, are you guys looking for dates?

Speaker 5 And they're the two women from the front row of the show.

Speaker 2 Oh my God. No way.

Speaker 3 Superstar professionals.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Wow.

Speaker 3 So you'd called this guy out.

Speaker 5 And maybe, and maybe, and maybe I was indeed about to be murdered. Mike,

Speaker 2 have you always had an eye for hookers? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Sorry.

Speaker 3 Be able to just pick them out of a crowd, literally.

Speaker 2 Just because it seems like people have a savant for different things.

Speaker 2 Mike,

Speaker 2 didn't you have a show called Spot the Pro for a while?

Speaker 2 Spot the Pro.

Speaker 2 It's kind of, it's awful that he said that, but it's kind of fun to say. Fucking great.

Speaker 1 I'm going to fucking kill you.

Speaker 5 I'm going to fucking kill you.

Speaker 2 Somebody says, I'm going to fucking kill you.

Speaker 5 Fucking kill you.

Speaker 2 It's unbelievable.

Speaker 1 It's horrible, but it's fun to say.

Speaker 2 Have you guys ever been threatened? Has anybody ever said that to you in that way or something close to that?

Speaker 3 I think I've seen that said with someone's eyes,

Speaker 3 but never verbalized.

Speaker 2 I had had a guy once, this is a true story.

Speaker 2 I was a teenager, and I remember I was in a McDonald's in Toronto, and there was a guy, there was a big line, two lines for the fucking, it was pre, you know, whatever, 100,000 years ago. But

Speaker 2 there was a guy in the other line, but ahead of me.

Speaker 2 And he was, there was something about him. He had the worst energy human I'd ever seen up to that point in my life.

Speaker 2 And he looked like he was just like, gonna fucking, there was something up with the dude. And I was talking to my friends, and I remember this like it was yesterday.

Speaker 2 And I was looking at him because I was like, oh, this fuck, in my mind, I'm thinking, this guy's a fucking murderer. Like this guy's fucking just the craziest looking dude.

Speaker 2 And I swear to God, I don't know how he was looking. He was facing forward.
I was behind him. He turns around and he goes, don't fucking look at me.

Speaker 2 And then turn back around. And I almost, for real, for the first time in my life, I almost shattered my pants.

Speaker 1 He said, one happy meal, please. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 It was, I remember to this day, don't fucking look at me.

Speaker 3 Can you imagine what kind of nightmares Mike would have had if that happened to him?

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Oh, bro. Oh, man.
Mike always had

Speaker 3 taken himself out a top floor, not a second floor.

Speaker 2 Oh, geez. Oh, man.
Mike,

Speaker 3 we've kept you six minutes over.

Speaker 2 We have to be fun.

Speaker 2 You're fun. You're fun.
You're making time go

Speaker 2 so fast.

Speaker 5 Huge, man. You guys are, this is a dream come true.
I listen to the show with my wife, Jenny, and it's like listening to your three funniest friends, and you don't have to talk. And today,

Speaker 5 I got to talk, which is cool.

Speaker 3 But barely.

Speaker 3 While you were listening with her, little did you know,

Speaker 3 we had plans to bring you on here.

Speaker 2 Yeah, little did you know.

Speaker 5 And that we had talked about, and

Speaker 2 hopefully you're listening to it now with Jenny. Do you guys, and just, again, we want to say hi to Jenny.
She's a fan. Yep.

Speaker 2 We love your poetry. And we love your project.
And we're a fan of yours.

Speaker 1 And Mike, I mean it when I said you truly, truly have been on my list, too, for like a couple of years now.

Speaker 2 Surprise.

Speaker 5 And Will, where were you on that? Yeah, Will.

Speaker 2 I'm going through a canyon right now, man. You're not here.

Speaker 2 Jesus.

Speaker 2 You're kind of breaking up.

Speaker 2 Okay. You're kind of breaking up.
We'll call you back.

Speaker 3 We'll call you back. Mike, thank you.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 I knew you were on somebody. Else's list is what we don't know who's on whose list.
Yeah. Wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 5 Let me say one more thing, too, because I listened to the show. In my special, The Old Man in the Pool on Netflix, I talk about how my family wasn't an I love you family growing up.

Speaker 5 Like, we didn't say I love you. We said take, we said, take care, which is sort of like a passive-aggressive command.
Like, I'm going to need you to do something for me. Take care, you know.

Speaker 5 But you guys always say, I love you to each other, and I find it so sweet and meaningful.

Speaker 2 I just want to say that. That's true.
Oh, that's true.

Speaker 3 Well, you know what? We love you now, Mike. You're part of the lovely.

Speaker 5 I love you too.

Speaker 2 We sure do. Anything you want to say to Tracy? I mean, if you know the show, is there anything

Speaker 2 Tracy,

Speaker 5 I could recommend some of my Netflix specials and my movies.

Speaker 5 And thank you for supporting Sean all these years through all that he's been through.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she's the best. I love her.

Speaker 3 Mike, do you have a recommendation for us for a good word to work into our buy?

Speaker 3 Because

Speaker 2 we've never done this.

Speaker 3 Yeah, we're pretty tapped out.

Speaker 2 And since you're a listener of the show, you ever thought, God, why don't they ever use this word? That would be easy.

Speaker 5 Like,

Speaker 5 you know,

Speaker 5 you all have children, right?

Speaker 4 Sure.

Speaker 2 Sure, sure.

Speaker 5 So,

Speaker 5 so I would just say, just think of your favorite song or Lulla.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Okay, that's good. We'll keep that in mind.
We'll keep that in mind. We're going to work that into the back.
We're not going to do it yet. We're not going to do it yet.

Speaker 2 Michael, goodbye. We love you.
Love you. Mike.
Bye, Michael. Love you.
Love you.

Speaker 2 Love you.

Speaker 2 Goodbye. Goodbye.
Bye.

Speaker 5 We are clear. Mike Berbiglia.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 very good. It's Berbiglia.
I'm just saying for the bye. Oh, no.
Oh, as a bye, you stupid ass. You're so stupid.
Fuck, fuck.

Speaker 1 He's dumber than me.

Speaker 2 Good. You know what? Stupid ass.
Then I get to say it then. Okay.
Oh, okay. Okay.
If I'm so stupid.

Speaker 3 Let's see if you can work it in smooth.

Speaker 2 If I'm so stupid. Stupid to you.

Speaker 5 I love that guy, Jay.

Speaker 2 I love him. He was on your list.
He's so funny. He's so fucking funny.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, I watch his stuff all the time, and I'm like, oh, that's, it's like new but old school, like his comedy, like you were saying, like storytelling stuff.

Speaker 2 I want to call you out on this, and I don't want to do it on the show because Mike's listening, but that's not true.

Speaker 2 The other day, I said, hey, do you know Mike Bobilia? You said, who's that?

Speaker 2 Untrue. And I showed you his special and you go, what am I watching? And I said, you're watching Mike Berbillia's special.
And you said, I don't see anything.

Speaker 2 He's invisible to me. He's worthless and talent-free.
Turn it off. No, no, he is so fucking

Speaker 1 fan for so long.

Speaker 2 I agree.

Speaker 2 He's so fucking fucking.

Speaker 5 But a lot of comics don't do that anymore.

Speaker 1 I mean, some of them do, but he's.

Speaker 2 I love that he does the one-man shows on Broadway. I think it's really fucking cool.

Speaker 2 And it takes,

Speaker 2 that'd be fucking hard as shit. Think about it, Sean.
You just got off Broadway. Imagine doing a one-man show every night.
I mean, forget it. You can't do it.
Did it.

Speaker 1 You don't want to do it again. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Jay, you were just saying. You're going to do it.

Speaker 2 You can't even make a speech at a fucking good friend's birthday party. Well, but a one-man show.
Yeah, you can't make a speech at a good birthday. Nah, you can't.

Speaker 3 I'm not good on my feet with a microphone in my hand and a spotlight in my face. That's it.

Speaker 1 Jason, Jason and I, Will, the other night at this party, ran into Gustavo Dudamel.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Did you really? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 who orchestrated that?

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 2 oh, wonderful. Aren't you good? Wow.

Speaker 1 Somebody took a nap and somebody's home from Atlanta.

Speaker 2 Uh-huh. Am I happy to do that?

Speaker 3 You know what? But

Speaker 3 he's going to be tired soon. And then hopefully, someone is just going to put him right to bed and sing him a nice long-bye.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 you know who I hope the person who sings it to me is? Who? Who? Mike Burbly.

Speaker 3 You got a buy by.

Speaker 2 I got it from somebody else. I got that from somebody else.

Speaker 5 Double buy. Double bye-bye.

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