"Paul Giamatti"

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Subject to change. You know, Jason, have you ever ate edamame? Because I've ate a dad egg.
I've never even met your mame. Oh, see, you did the joke too.
I do like, you know what I really like doing with the edamame, especially if I'm sitting across the table from my daughters? Yeah. Is I like to take one of those edamame beans, I like to fire, I like to squeeze it and fire one of those beans right at one of my daughters.
That's fun, right? And of course, you know, 16-year-old gets pissed off, but the 11-year-old, she opens up her mouth real wide and goes, yeah, try, try, try, I'll catch it. And that's fun.
And then mom smacks me and then dinner falls apart. Hey, remind me to skip sushi next time.
Yeah, you should. Or just wear a helmet.
Welcome to SmartLess. SmartLess.
SmartLess. SmartLess.
What's the purple sex toy over your right shoulder? There? In the back there. Keep going.
The purple thing. It's just one purple thing.
Right here? Even further back. Oh, this? Yeah.
By the way, you know what that is? Should it be in somebody? Roller, back roller, back roller.

That's the inside of like a

metal, but it's a record. It's like a sound

thing.

And you can also stick it up your ass.

That's what we're getting at.

Okay, but wait, I want to say something about Jason's food

because I FaceTimed with Jay

last week and

you do eat a lot of stuff. It is kind of a

joke, but it's not really because you do

for every cookie that

I'm going to go. because I FaceTimed with Jay last week and you do eat a lot of stuff.
It is kind of a joke, but it's not really because you do, for every cookie that goes in, it's like 20,000 pounds of nuts and bolts and twigs and sticks go in. Yeah, that's right.
But I FaceTimed you and you answer it and you're on the treadmill. And that's the other thing.
You constantly are on the treadmill, constantly. Well, again, it's not constant.
It's just discipline. It's one hour a day.
No, I know, but it's good. And then I brought up the porn thing again because I can't believe you're the only male in the world that doesn't look at porn, but we already talked about that.
And then... Have either one of you looked at any porn today? No.
No. I don't need the eyebrows, Will.
You don't need to be like, what a weird question. You know, do you guys look at it daily or weekly or what's the frequency? No.
Again, more eyebrows. This isn't an...
What about... Is it once a week? Will.
I don't know like the frequency of it, but I'm just saying like generally speaking... Let's hear it.
You say you don't know. like male guys every guy looks at point anyway yeah but the other thing was i want to talk about the headband that you were wearing while you were running on the thing seems kind of porny it was no i've never seen you in that i've seen you in that like others like hats and stuff but i've never seen you wear the headband while you're on the treadmill i still have that dumb dumb long hair, and I don't want it sweating into my eyeballs.

That was astonishing.

It was like Loverboy, like the 80s band or something.

But it made you think of gay porn?

Porn.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, I don't know.

I just thought I'd never seen you in that headband. Jason never would look at gay porn

because he'd be too worried.

Why are my pants crowding? Yeah. Oh, no were you saying what's my workout yeah what's your workout get up so you know what it's it's funny well my my hair is quite short right now but when if it's even a little bit longer i have it's the worst if i'm so that i don't sweat and i would never wear it outside because i'm embarrassed it's old school bandana rolled and then kind of up here and then my hair is kind of sticking behind that's exactly what jason was wearing it's the worst but i could never wear like everybody who lives kids alessandra everybody looks at me like dude that is the worst i look like such a solid because you don't want to get zits is that what it is well you just don't want the hair dripping down his face you don face.
You don't want to sweat because then you get zits if you sweat on your face. Well, I'm 53.
You know, I'm pretty good on that. But it's more I just don't want to get the sweat in my face.
You know what? I don't sweat out of my face. You don't sweat, period.
You what? You don't sweat out of your face? I never sweat for my face. You know why? Because it's hard to sweat while you're chewing.
Fuck, we're getting that on a T-shirt. Boy, I'm getting that on a t-shirt so quick.
I want to get to our guest because I can hear him. It's really rude.
I feel badly for him that he's had to listen to the porn and he's had to listen to the sweat. Sweat.
I don't sweat out of my face. I don't.
I don't sweat out of my face. And he doesn't deserve it.
You know why? Because this is a guy, I use, do you like the term actor's actor? I do like that. He's the kind of actor of actor and the way i look at it is he's the kind of actor that all us actors look up to yeah you're like yeah this is the guy knows i'm nervous well the second you say actor's actor you know they're friendly yeah and they're just like they've just done so much stuff they've done the dramatic stuff and they've done the comedy and they're good at all of it and you don't begrudge them because you're like they're so good at it that you're like yeah they do and he this is a guy who's got he's got an academy award nomination he's got he's won two golden globes he's won a primetime emmy he's won uh four sag awards he's been in every imaginable we were talking about one of his movies last night at dinner after you left jason uh because one of his co-stars was there from that film from years ago.
He's been in, he's single-handedly responsible for the death of the Merlot business. He's played John Adams.
He played Howard Stern's boss. Oh, I love him.
Guys, it's just Mr. Paul Giamatti.
I love Paul Giamatti. Did I do this right? Okay.
Yes. Hello.
Lord. Yes.
Well done, Will. I love you.
Hello. I love you guys.
I absolutely love you. Look at you.
Fantastic. Wait a minute.
Talk about the background. Can you hear me? Can you see me? Is this all like okay? We can hear you.
Jason, Paul, Jason's very confused right now because of all the books behind you.

Look at that wallpaper behind you.

It looks so textured.

It's a green screen.

It's fantastic.

Wait a minute.

That's a moth trap.

I see that, too.

That's actually a moth trap.

Very effective.

Works like a charm.

So, listener, he's got at least 6,000 books behind him,

and you've read all of them, I'll bet.

No.

Nope. A lot of them.
Well, some of them. I've read some of them.
Jason, name a book quick. Where the sidewalk ends.
So no pornography, no books. It's pretty dry.
It's just sugar and salt for me. Those are my vices.
I want to know about the books. Why the books, Paul, behind you? I have a kind of manic thing.
Honest to God, I have a kind of collecting mania with books. I put all my manic behavior into books.
I get that. And you know what? If you had asked me to describe, say, what would Paul Giamatti's background be, I probably would have said a bookshelf brimming with books.
I probably, given a few guesses. Or a bunch of different glasses frames.
Right. Or a selection of Warby Parker just all back there.
Paul, do you have a favorite bookstore? In New York? I like going to the... Yeah, I'm assuming you're in New York.
Yes, I am. I like going to the Strand bookstore.
That's a classic bookstore. It holds up.
There's a good one out in LA called Iliad Books. That's a great...
Yeah, bookstore. Yeah, Iliad is very good.
I know that one. But I was just at the Strand two weeks ago, and it's really holding up, isn't it? It is.
It's still there. They still got it.
Yeah, it's still there, which is nice. Wait, now who was so...
So what was the film that you were referencing last night that one of our dinner guests was in? Private Parts with Mary McCormick. Oh, yes.
Yeah. Absolutely fantastic.
Wow, that is a deep cut. And we were talking about, God, I love that movie, Paul.
You're so great in that movie. I appreciate it.
It's a good movie. It's a really good movie.
Betty Thomas directed that, right? Yeah, have you worked with her? I have not, but I would like to. So let me ask you about Private Parts now that we're on it.
How did that movie come about? Like, were you a fan or did you listen to Howard leading up to that at all? Like a little bit, you know, but not much. I wasn't any kind of big because I didn't realize, for instance, that that guy I was playing was a real guy until about halfway into my little tenure doing the movie, which was a couple of weeks.
And they said to me, how'd you nail this guy so well? And I said, this is an actual they were like yeah i'm like that's hysterical and i said i feel terrible now because i've made i mean this guy looks like the biggest asshole on the planet i thought this is a real person his children are gonna see this his wife is gonna see this this is horrible and i and it got me a little nervous i thought this is terrible but so did you meet him uh no i one I had to do, in promoting something a few years later, you know, I was always the guy, they'd make me do the drive time radio shit. They'd be like, well, you do the promotion on the drive time radio, guys? When did you start saying no to that? Shortly after that.
Only a couple years ago. But it was always me they made do that stuff because of private parts.
So I was always talking to some fucking guys in Oakland or something like that. Right.
And one day they patched him through. They put him on with me.
And it was just incredibly uncomfortable. But you strike me as a fellow who's pretty diligent about researching your parts and whatnot.
Are you not? Erroneous. Erroneous mistake.
Oh, please. It depends.
Sometimes I am. Sometimes it depends.
But sometimes I do a lot of research and sometimes I just don't bother. If you're playing a non-fiction character, you'll do the research? It depends.
Like I did a boxing picture. I did a boxing picture and I was interested.
Cinderella Man. You were nominated for an Academy Award, which I mentioned.
I was, thank you. Yes, thank you.
So good. And I wanted to learn about how to wrap guys' hands and I wanted to learn all that stuff and I learned all these old school tricks.
They would hold a big cold silver dollar against a guy's bruise while there was fighting. I learned all that kind of stuff.
Sean, you could have taught him because you're pretty good at wrapping guys' hands around stuff. I'll show you.
I'll show you later. Wait, Paul, what do you mean? The silver dollar? What are you talking about? It's like an end swell, right? Guys would get an end swell, meaning like a...
That's like the real thing that they use to smear out a swollen eye or something. It's like a metal square that's got like a little ring.
Yes, that's right. And in the old school, because that movie I did set in the 30s, they didn't have those things.
They would just have a freezing cold silver dollar and they'd push it against the guy's face. Oh, just to take the swelling down.
Correct. Will, you got anything for endswell? What is ends well? Well, all's well.

I think that's what it's called.

All's well that ends well.

I don't know.

But Paul, but then what about my idea that you may be very, very well trained?

I'm assuming you went to, are you a Juilliard guy, a Yale guy?

I went to Yale.

I went to the Yale School of Drama.

That's amazing.

Now, wasn't our friend Laura Linney over there?

She went to the Juilliard, I believe. Was she Yale as well, maybe? God, I should know that.
No, she went to the Juilliard. She went to the Juilliard.
Yeah. Hey, Jason, you remember you were in Ozark with her? Yeah, that's right.
You were in the television's Ozark. Do you remember that? I've never been to Ozark.
How was that? Did you enjoy that with her? What's that? He's completely blanked it. Yeah.
I only can remember just an hour ago. No, she's about the best ever.
She is the best. So, Paul, so you went to, you mentioned, so you went to Yale.
You were, you're, you're from New Haven. You actually were born there, right? No way.
Yes, I was. And your dad was, your dad was a professor there, ended up, ended up being, being the president of Yale.
And that's right. Oh my God.
Wait, what? Did your mom teach at Yale too? No, she taught at a private school in New Haven. Right, so your mom was a teacher.
High school. So both of his parents are academics.
You have any Yale tattoos. You should have a Yale tattoo.
I should. I should have a big...
I don't. I should have a bulldog on my ass.
Or a big Y right on the small of your back. I should always have a bulldog on my ass.
Same. Yes, me too.
But wait a minute. What about...
Go back, though, before, in order to get into Yale,

you couldn't just, it wasn't like your mom and dad were like,

come on, I got you.

Like you had a high school, you probably excelled, right?

I did pretty good, yeah.

I was pretty good academically, yeah.

Did you go to high school in New Haven?

No, I went to a high school, I went to a prep school.

I didn't board, I went to a boarding school,

but I didn't board there. So I went, you know.
Willie, you went to a boarding school, didn't board i went to a boarding school but i didn't board there so i i went you know willie you went to a boarding school didn't you yeah did you yeah i did up in kennedy and then and then the the day students we call them because it was all boys but they were called day boys yeah um sean anything careful boys i mean this whole episode is really you're gonna get a letter will it's really getting spicy it's pride month Christ's sake. Is it a Canadian boarding school? Is it as horrendous as the boarding schools seem to be in England? Well, no, but back then...
Do they cane you there? Do they give you a good sound thrashing if you, you know... They didn't even bother grabbing the cane.
They just went with the hand. I'm not kidding.
Easy shot. Yeah, I used to get smacked in the back of the head.
Oh, yeah. Are you serious? You used to get hit? Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got hit in the back of the head a bunch. Was this like a Catholic school? Was it like Jesuits? No, it's an old school.
It's a, I went to this school that's like a very old school, sort of British-style boarding school. At the time, it's now co-ed and it's very different.
It's all changed. And so I'm, but at the time, it was very much a old English-style all-boys boarding school.
And our sort of brother's school was this school in Scotland called Gordonston where, you know, a lot of the royal family went, et cetera, et cetera. So we had some members of those types of people came over to and went to my school as well.
So the then prince of Spain, Felipe Bourbon. Prince of Spain? He's now the king of Spain, went to my school, yeah.
So you struggled a bunch growing up, did you, Will? Well, I had nothing to do with that. How did you eat? I was low man on the totem pole.
Did people harass the prince of Spain? Did you know the prince of Spain? Yeah, I did. Boy, this is a terrible sentence, but he and I were on the same ski team.
That is crazy. Wow.
And I got bussed. I got bussed to a school in downtown Los Angeles to, yeah, okay.
Yeah, and I had to walk to school with no food. Yeah.
No food, no shoes. Right, Sean? Both ways, no shoes.
But anyway, we're back. Let's get back to Yale and the Prince of Spain.
But your dad was a professor and ended up becoming president of Yale. So I think that does help because I know other people whose parents were professors at colleges.
Yeah, but it only takes you so far. You must have done very well in high school.
I did pretty good in high school. I was a bright kid.
SAT score, I'll bet, was pretty good. And your essays and all that? I think probably they must have been.
I don't remember what my essays entailed. I don't remember what they were about.
What were the extracurriculars going? They must have been pleasing. My extracurriculars, that's interesting.
I worked on the school newspaper. I drew cartoons.
Really? On the school newspaper. Yes.
And what else did I do? I did some theater there. Sure.

And kind of the latter end of it, I did some theater.

Were your parents more interested or excited about you becoming an academic

or were they okay with you becoming an actor?

I think they were okay with me becoming an actor.

I think the – because everybody in my family going back was teachers.

Right.

It was ridiculous.

Everybody is a fucking teacher.

So I think the idea, the assumption was one of their three children was going to be a teacher and my brother and sister didn't do it so i think they thought this guy will do it and then i just didn't i would i could see couldn't you see paul in like an alexander payne film playing a new yorker cartoonist and i don't know what the story is yet, but I'm working on it. I'm going to call.
But now, wait. I might embarrass myself here, but did you not do Crumb, the Crumb movie? Am I confusing? I did a movie called American Splendor about a guy, this guy Harvey Peekar, and Crumb did the drawings for his stuff because he couldn't draw.
He couldn't. Yes, sir.
Yes, sir. You're welcome.
So you're close, Will. I'm very close.
Were you able to use some of your talent as a cartoonist whilst doing that film? Nope. He couldn't draw.
So I couldn't. Oh, right.
Because Crumb drew for him. Yes.
No, I didn't get to do any of that. I wish I had wanted to be a cartoonist, like an animator,

was what I kind of wanted to do.

But that's...

Did you know that guy was real when you were doing that movie?

I did.

Yeah, he probably did.

Yes, indeed.

I did.

Yes.

I was, yeah.

No, I was confronted with the actual man,

so there was no question he was real.

And he was very real.

Do you doodle still to this day?

Yeah, not as much. I wish I did.
I don't draw as much as I used to. I think when I decided to be an actor, I stopped drawing, and it was just a kind of different part of my life, and I stopped drawing.
I still do sometimes, but not that. Yeah, what is your go-to doodle? I think everybody's got one thing that they do know how to draw well.
Yeah, well, I do a lot of – it's faces mostly, and it's kind of angry old men, mustachioed old men. You have portraits of Jason in your house? Yes, exactly.
My 11-year-old daughter is very, very good at drawing, and I was looking at some of her work the other day, and I said to her, I said, honey, you know, I notice a lot of the faces that you draw. There's a lot of tears coming out of the eyes.
Is everything okay? She goes, yeah, dad. And I go, no, no, I mean, I just, you know, I'm trying to be a good dad here.
And I'm just saying that that's a flair for me. And I just want to make, just want to check in with you.
She's like, no, it's just really fun to draw. Do you think that she was so shocked that you noticed anybody other than yourself? That I knew my way to her.
Something out of your own that didn't have to do with show business? Something that wasn't stuck to the front of the television that I noticed? Yeah, she was pretty shocked. Was it the Dodgers? That it wasn't Dodgers or golf related? Do you still get a chance to do theater? Do you like doing it? Do you prefer, like, now that you are on this trajectory of 800 movies and TV shows, you're like...
I haven't done a play in a while. I do like it.
I do prefer it. You're doing a play right now.
Yeah, well, Sean would like for you to take over for him. What I'm saying, you really want him to step in? He's very tired.
You know, Paul actually was quite famously in a play with a very good friend of ours and a friend of the podcast, Billy Crudup, in Arcadia years ago. Oh, no way.
What was it? Yeah. I did a couple of plays with Billy.
I did three plays with Billy. Oh, wow.
Billy just took $15 off me this weekend because his Yankees took two out of three from my Dodgers. Oh, you're gambling with Billy.
But I only sent him $14. I kept the dollar back for the damage that Aaron Judge did to our bullpen fence.
Did you see any of that footage? He ran right through the wall taking a scoring fly ball away from us. Aaron Judge had a very exciting weekend here in Los Angeles.
Obviously, this podcast is airing later than that. But, Paul, I don't know if you're a big baseball fan.
I know that baseball runs in the family. It does.
I'm not a huge baseball fan, but I occasionally follow it. Things like this.
Tell Sean, well, tell Sean, because I don't know, Sean, you know Paul's involvement with baseball, which is quite, you know, goes without saying. Well.
And we can cut it, too too if you don't want to talk about it. No, no, no, no, no.

After being in academia,

my father ended up in professional baseball and he ran the National Baseball League

not for very long

and then he was the commissioner of baseball

also not for very long.

He was the commissioner of baseball.

He was the commissioner of Major League Baseball

for like...

That's like God of baseball.

Basically. Well, yeah, kind of.
That's crazy. It is crazy.
And so he did neither one of those things for very long. Did you go to a lot of games in that time? Was it because it was kind of the family business in a way? Yeah, I mean, I did.
I went to some playoff games. Now I can't even remember what ones I went to.
I wish I did. I wish I was paying more attention.
I wasn't paying that much attention. But I did go to some.
Yeah. But not enough.
I wish I'd gone to more. That's why I asked you about extracurricular in high school.
I was on the swimming team. I was on the swimming team.
Swimming team. Oh, okay.
Swimming team. That's about as well.
Is it interesting? It is. It is interesting.
It's like to picture you swimming in high school is kind of interesting. It is interesting.
You know what I mean? I had hair. I had hair.
I wore like a little Speedo. So you did have hair.
I did have hair. I actually had hair.
But for swimming, you know, you would shave. You would actually shave your head and stuff like that.
Of course. Yeah, they would do all that stuff.
You probably shave your whole body. You shave your whole body.
Right?

You shave your whole body.

Yes, sir. Did you, Paul, you just said I wasn't paying attention.

And I was actually thinking about this concept recently,

about this idea of as we get older,

and I've been doing a lot more reflecting lately,

about this idea of like this stuff.

I feel like now I'm much more aware or cognizant and I, and I want to absorb everything much more now than I did when I was a younger man. All these things that we took for granted, these experiences that we would have, right? Have you guys had any of that recently? Well, but even just saying what I was saying to you, I regret that.
I mean, I was in college and I was kind of checked out and I was sort of like, eh, not dealing with my dad and stuff like that. And I very much regret it now because he passed away very shortly after doing all of that.
So I definitely regret that. And very much so.
But I very much feel the same way that I need to be taking everything in way more than I did. And I wonder if my kid, my kid will remember shit or regret shit the same way I did, but hopefully not.
How old is your kid? How old is your kid? He's 22. He just graduated from college.
Oh, wow. So he's the age I was when my father died.
I don't want to bring the whole show down by talking about my father's death. No, this is good.
But he's the age my father was. He's the age my father was when my father died.
So it's interesting to me to think, yeah. I remember I worked with Marcus, with your brother, on a very, very shitty football movie.
No, I remember that movie very well. It was most enjoyable.
Wait, what? Yeah, I remember just dorking out with him about your dad and just picking his brain about it. He's a huge baseball fan.
He's like a fanatic. He's such a good dude.
I really like my time with him. He is a good dude.
I loved that movie. What was the movie? It was called Necessary Roughness.
It was a football movie back in the day with Scott Bakula. Scott Bakula, Sinbad.
Kathy Ireland. Who else was in that? Yeah, it was a lot of people.
Hector Elizondo. Hector Elizondo, that's right.
Jay, did you take the moment during Necessary Roughness and really absorb it? Oh, I sure did absorb it. Wait, we're talking about two different things now.
What were you absorbing? Well, we shot it in Dallas, Texas. There was a lot of off time, you know.
Oh, no. They've got some nice ballet in Dallas.
Absolutely. We'll be right back.
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Hey guys, everybody should have a support system, right? Who's your support system? My support system, as you well know, talk about all the time, is Scotty. And of course, my two besties, Will and Jason.
Whenever I have a problem, an issue, I talk to them about it. And if they're not available, I will talk to a therapist.
And I've been going to therapy for a long time, and it's always great. So think about your favorite leaders, mentors, and idols.
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That's betterhelp.com slash smartless. All right, back to the show.
Paul, since we're kind of going through, and I want to, there's so many movies we could, you know, because behind every movie, there's a story about making it and stuff like that. I could talk to you for hours about so many things that I love you in.
But is there one, because we're kind of going through them now,

is there one that stands out that's really, really, really meaningful to you

that you will, speaking of holding on to things and remembering things,

that really, really sticks to your soul and you have great memories of?

There's a lot of them I really remember nicely that way.

And it's not necessarily the movie, it's the experience.

Experience, right, right. Is there one in particular? There's a movie I did called The Illusionist.
really remember nicely that way. And it's not necessarily the movie.
It's the experience too.

Is there one in particular?

There's a movie I did called The Illusionist,

which is about a magician and stuff like that.

I really liked making that movie.

It was in Eastern Europe.

It was in Prague, which was fun to be in.

Beautiful.

And I enjoyed making that movie.

It wasn't Christopher Nolan, was it?

No, that's The Prestige. Yes.
At the same time, two magician pictures came out simultaneously. Yeah, I remember at the same time.
How did you like working in Prague? Man, that is a beautiful time. Great, I loved it.
It was fantastic. What film do you think, and this would be a very hard thing for you to answer, but which film do you think was the most helpful to you in your career? Because I feel like every single job you've done has been extremely prestigious and really, really like...
Did Will say you've been nominated only once for an Oscar? For an Oscar. Yeah, but I feel like every single part of the play.
But like 12 Years a Slave, Romeo and Juliet, Saving Mr. Banks, Downton Abbey.
Well, those are all amazing. 12 Years a Slave was an amazing movie to make.
Yeah. One of those really incredible experience.
But any one of those jobs, you would think an actor would go, okay, now my career is made. Right.
You know? I guess so. But I mean, I think something like Private Parts actually was the first time I ever did anything with real money.
Just for my sister, Tracy, Private Parts is the Howard Stern movie about his life. And where Howard really convincingly and to great acclaim plays himself, which is very unusual.
He was great. He was so good.
He was really great at it. He was terrific.
Paul, it does occur to me that Private Parts actually was a kind of a kicking off point. Of course, you were a working actor, but that kind of opened you up to a whole, because it was such a big commercial success.
Yeah, I'd only really done theater stuff up until then. I'd done little bit parts in a lot of stuff, in a lot of TV shows and TV movies and stuff like that.
So that was the first time I had anything substantial to do in a movie. Did that lead to Saving Private Ryan? I don't remember which one of those came first.
Maybe, but Saving Private Ryan was just... No, Saving Private Ryan was years after Private Parks.
I don't... Was it? I don't even...
This is what's weird. It's like...
And this is where I feel like my mind, my brain is going. You're also a guy...
I bet every single film would love to have you be a part of that film because of what... They were a year apart.
I just looked it up. Really? Really? What it says to the community or the industry about what our film is.

Like, we have Paul Giamatti in this film, okay?

So don't even submit your, you know, this person or that person.

I appreciate that and I like it, but I don't see it.

I mean, that's very nice of you to say.

I feel the same thing about you, gentlemen.

I feel the same way about you.

No, don't even try it.

No, no, I'm not.

I'm sincere and honest.

I really do.

You're keeping a little of them.

You're keeping a little of them.

You're keeping a little of them.

You're keeping a little of them.

You're keeping a little of them.

You're keeping a little of them.

You're keeping a little of them.

You're keeping a little of them.

You're keeping a little of them.

You're keeping a little of them. Thank you.
feel the same thing about you gentlemen i feel the same way about you don't even try it no no i'm not i'm sincere and honest i really do with your moth protector back there that's right it's like when they when they say i'm in a movie they're like oh great it's going straight to video that's good now we know it's going straight to video i've been in plenty of stuff i've been in plenty of stuff like that that's for sure but paul you know it's what's funny is and i love and feel like there have been all these, through the decades that you've been working in film, there have been all these moments, like saving private parts, and then in the 2000s it was sideways, which really, it was so, and I joked that it killed the Merlot business single-handedly. It did, actually.
But it kind of did, right? It did, yeah. It actually did, I think.
Yeah, it seemed so. How so? I've seen that movie 50 times.
Because of how disparagingly you guys talk about Merlot? Yeah. It's just sort of like for the Philistines? Yeah.
Oh, dude. Dude, what? Yeah, what? Paul, you're, even at the mention of Merlot, the look of disgust on your face.
The guy loses his shit. have no idea.
I knew nothing about wine. I know nothing about wine.
You don't drink it? Not particularly, no. It kind of gives me a headache.
What's the drink that you like? I like tequila. I like mezcal.
Those are the two things that I like a lot. Is it, Paul, is it a problem? Go ahead.
What are you talking about? Yeah. That's far as not.
Do you really, do you love it? At this juncture, I do love it. And at this juncture, it's not a problem.
I still am in the loving, I'm still in the love phase. I'm in the honeymoon phase still with tequila and mezcal.
So everything's fine. I took a sniff out of somebody's, somebody had a beautiful glass of tequila on the rocks yesterday that I took a sniff of.
I swear to God I went into a time machine. By the way, I watched Jason put his nose in the glass.
I was knee deep into my 20s. I was going pretty fast on a highway.
And there was all kinds of things in my pocket. You had a candle on the dashboard.
Candle on the dashboard. Remember that? Paul, Jason used to drive with a lit candle on his dashboard.
On his dashboard. Why? Because he wanted the cops to stop him so bad.
I should have put a Kojak light on my roof. You should have had the little light to just pop up on the roof.
Yeah, such a dumbass. Why aren't you driving a lit candle? What was the idea? Just for nighttime or was it lit all the time? Paul, it was just because I was blind to my douchiness and I was looking for Atmo, you know? Jason, when you smelled that tequila thing and it was like a time machine, is there like a desire to drink it? Or are you just like, yeah, it was nice to smell it, but I don't have any desire? Yeah, no, not anymore because I did it.
And I was was thinking about it at the time i was thinking let's do this i'll until you're sick of it because you don't want to be doing this when you're in your 40s or 50s oh that's interesting like at the level i at the at the level you thought at the time at the time really you had that foresight to say i get it out of the way now yeah i'm a black or white guy can i be honest with you that's how i feel about whenever a little bit too whenever i make a cake i eat so i'm not even kidding i eat so much of it so that i don't ever want it for a long long time it also makes all the cake go away so you can't have any more that's no do you gentlemen do you drink at all i don't drink anymore willie none of you drink anymore that's odd no wait a second sean you don't. No.
Wait a second. Sean, you don't drink?

How do I not know that?

Jay, because New Year's Eve two years ago.

Oh, right.

When you were playing games.

Sean disappeared.

Sean was doing bits.

Paul, this is true.

We were at our friend's house,

and we kept pimping Sean out to do various bits.

So he's standing up.

It's true.

And Sean's doing bits, and he's dancing,

and he's doing all these moves,

and he's doing impressions of people. I love a monkey people and we're all sitting at the table like a monkey.

But he was hilarious and we were dying.

And then all of a sudden, he wasn't around.

And somebody goes, where's Sean?

And he went to the hospital.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, he had Scotty driving to the hospital.

You had palpitations?

What happened?

Did you have like palpitations?

I get AFib brought on by alcohol.

Oh, my God. And so I would just deal with it.
I wouldn't know when it comes on. It would come on once or twice a year.
Wait a second. So you would have it regularly? Like once or twice a year.
And I could be at a grocery store. I could be at a party.
I could be anywhere. I could be at church.
He's got his own entrance at Cedars. He's got a special back door.
It's in the dock. And now Jimmy Kimmel calls me paddles because I would go so many times to the ER and they would clear and get my heart back to right now.
Yeah, and then he FaceTimed back to the party. He says, guys, I'm okay.
It's just on schedule here. So you just quietly took yourself off to the hospital?

Yeah.

That's beautiful.

Yeah, his set was done.

That's very thoughtful of you.

He's been known to,

Paul, he's been known to in the middle of the night

go to the hospital

and not even wake

his husband, Scotty, up.

And then come home

and then he tells Scotty

the next day

that he was at the hospital

playing bed for him.

Because you've had

these heart puppetations.

Well, amongst others.

Atrial fibrillation.

But amongst others.

He's a hypochondriac.

He likes to be taken care of.

Thank you. I would tell Scotty the next day that he was at the hospital.
Because you've had these heart palpitations. Amongst others.
Atrial fibrillation. But amongst others.
He's a hypochondriac. He likes to be taken care of.
That doesn't sound like hyper. This sounds like a real thing.
No, no, Paul. He had his own podcast called Hypochondriactor.
Okay? He's a hypochondriac. He loved it.
I understand. I think I used to be one.
I'm kind of a recovering one. I'm not as bad as I used to be.
Really? Yes, I used to be. How'd you get over it? I'm not exactly sure.
I think I outgrew it. Well, what is a hypochondriac? Like, officially, it's somebody who's irrationally afraid of germs? No, no, no.
Or worried about their health, concerned with their health. Yeah, yeah.
And a kind of constant monitoring of your health all the time. And making sort of these leaps if they have a sort of a, and I fight against, I think everybody has that to a certain degree, and I've had it before too.
Yeah, the older you get too, right? And I had this thing recently where I had, Jay, I was telling you about, remember I didn't play golf, and I had this sort of pain, I was like, and I'm like, you know what, motherfucker, it's just gas and relax and give yourself a break. Oh, yeah, what was it? And it went away.
You're joking. Oh, really? Like in that moment,

it just vanished.

And I just took it easy for a couple of days

and I just like,

you know what?

Just stop giving it

so much fucking credence

and stop thinking about yourself

and do something else.

Yeah, but you also said

you had a three-minute fart

that on the backside of that,

you felt great.

That is true.

If I eat hummus,

that happens.

You have a terrible gas.

Just the valve just gets stuck open. Just open for the longest one forever.
I would love to go with you to the Mediterranean somewhere and just get you onto a hummus diet and watch it all fall apart. I would be, please excuse my friend.
I'm so sorry. That's amazing.
Paul, I was going to, the other thing I wanted to bring up was. Sure.
Yes, please. And going through all, and I don't want to go through all your credits, but one of the things.
God, no. And I've been such a fan of yours for a long time.
And I even, and I'm a fan of yours despite the fact that you're friends with Thoreau. Oh, that's right.
Oh. I've made a.
What thoreau well we don't know our best friends but we love to throw as much at him as we can so let's have your best material now no i that's interesting throw it at us beautiful no no i haven't seen him in ages i haven't seen him in a long time and you're better off yeah probably i think i probably am too he he adamantly will not return my calls my texts nothing does he do this to you guys you may have a wrong number for him he's he's pretty good he likes he likes contacting connection um he loves doing text bits not with his bits on the text not with me not with me he doesn't jason gets really mad with text bits i've noticed well it's just i don't want to participate i i mean i'm tedious i'm happy to to observe but i then i'm constantly feeling like oh god everyone is contributing and and emojing and double click thumbs up and if i don't i'm i'm a dick or yeah i hope that people just assume i You that people just assume I put my phone down. No, I know.
I know that. I feel the same way.
But I put my phone down, right? So they just think I'm not seeing it, right? I agree. Yeah, I agree.
Pauly, any good? Oh, is it Pauly now? Yeah. Pauly.
That's fantastic. That's amazing.
I want to be a Pauly with you. No, no, I appreciate it.
Give me one good theater story. Just something went horribly wrong.
Here he comes. That's a tough thing.
Did you ever forget your lines, Paul? Go ahead, Sean. No.
A guy, speaking of heart attacks, a guy had, I was doing a show once, and a guy, I was in a little black box experimental theater in Seattle where I moved out to Seattle and I started acting out there. And a guy got up in the second row.
I was watching him and I was on stage doing this long monologue, 40-minute monologue. Oh, my God.
Doing a monologue and watching the guy in the second row. Yeah, that was, no, I had an eye on the guy because he was getting really dopey looking.
And I thought, something's wrong with this guy. I mean, it was close quarters, a little shitty little experimental theater.
And he got up and climbed over the guy in front of him, came up on stage, pissed and shat himself and dropped. No way.
Oh, God. He'd had a heart attack.
I didn't realize he'd had a heart attack until, and I was playing in the show. You thought it was just your performance? Well, people thought it was just, because in the performance I was playing a, what do you call it, the guy who puts his hands, you know, a faith healer.
A healer. A healer.
I was playing a healer. And, you know, and I suck at improv-ing and things like that.
I doubt it. It could have been a golden moment for me, but I didn't, but I sort of knelt down and they came up and got the guy off.
I heard later, actually years later, I didn't even know that he'd had a heart attack, a small heart attack. No way.
That's about it, Sean. That's not a great story.
That's an amazing story. That's amazing.
It's one of the best ones we've ever had. And you're like, I don't know if I got anything.
I had a guy have a heart attack. Shitting and pissing himself was the relief.
Now, is that common, by the way, when you have a heart attack to empty? I think he was also kind of having a, yes, that's true. Is it? Do you evacuate fully when you have a heart attack? Or is it just frontal? When you have a cardiac event? I've never heard about pooing when you have a heart attack.
I think maybe it can happen. Well, yeah, You might lose, like, your faculties or whatever.
Wait, but the guy lives? That's a whole different thing, though. I think he did, yes.
Yeah, okay. Well, he was on stage with you.
Did he die? He was on stage with me for a while, yeah. I don't know.
I don't know if there's anybody who enjoys pooping or talking about it more than Bateman. Bateman says to me today, he texts me and he goes, he goes, hey, can you play golf on Thursday? I said, no, I can't because I'm getting a colonoscopy on Friday.
So Thursday is my prep day. And I said, let me know.
I'm going to be at home in that prep phase. And I go, let me know if you want to come by and observe.
And he wrote, very kind. What's the latest to let you know? I'm just not sure if my Thursday's going to fill up, you know? You finally had one? I'm having it this week.
I'm on Friday. Oh, you are? It's actually fantastic.
Listen, I can tell you, I enjoy the hell out of it. It's really, I enjoy it.
That little Twilight thing they send you off into? And you wake up real chatty, too. I had a bunch of jokes for the doctor.
And then the rest of the day, are you exhausted the rest of the day? You're good to go. You feel fresh.
I felt very fresh. Paul, I've said this on this podcast a couple times now.
You will need a shower, Will. But when I got my colonoscopy and my bare ass was hanging out, right when they put the anesthesia in my arm, they said, count back to 10.
I go, 10, 9, oh, I feel it. And right when I passed out, I go, whatever you do, don't touch my asshole.
And then I packed out. And you got that out.
That all got out. And I heard laughing as I went out.
Beautiful. Well, it reminds me of one of my favorite jokes, right? A guy walks into a...
He's going to ruin it. He's going to ruin it.
I know that. I think I know the joke.
No, please, please, please. I like this joke, too.
I think I know what it is. The guy leans over the table, and he drops his pants, and he's ready for his exam, and the doctor comes in, and the doctor says, okey-doke, Jerry, this time no hard-on.
And the patient turns around, he says, my name's Andrew. And the doctor says, I'm Jerry.
No, that's not even close, Jason. God, it's not fucking terrible.
That actually confused me. It was confusing.
Paul, Paul, if you're going to make me see, no, I'm confused now. It wasn't the joke I thought it was going to be, and I'm confused now.
Paul, you should know we both got quiet because we wanted to let him hang himself because he has tried to tell this joke 30 times. It's my favorite joke.
And it's so embarrassing. On this show? He's got like 20 times on the show.
On the show, on the golf course, at dinner, and he does it all the time. How did I mess that up? One time he taught it, he went like this.
One time he said, he goes, and the guy comes in and he says, don't get a heart on Kevin. And Kevin says, my name's not Kevin.
And I go, Kevin says my name's not Kevin. Wait, but I think I was conscious of that this time and I think I said it right.
No, I don't think you did. The guy's on the table and he says, the doctor walks that.
The doctor walks in. The doctor walks in.
What happened? The doctor walks in and he says, and the guy says, okay, Jerry, don't get a heart on this time. And the patient goes, my name's not Jerry.
And the doctor goes, no, my name is Jerry. Very good.
I just punched it up. I said, I'm throwing extra name in there.
He confuses it. I have to say, I'm Jerry's good.
I like just I'm Jerry. That's funny.
By the way, leave it to baby who made it longer and more complicated. And unfunny.
I'm Jerry's funny. That's a funny joke.
I have to say, it's a very funny joke. If you give it time.
It really is. Don't give it a heart on Jerry.
And Andrew, who's actually related, who grew up with Jerry's cousin. They're from the same town, says.
Listen, this is why we need our writers. This is why we need our writers.
It's true. Now you really feel the lack of writing, don't you? We do need our writers.
You're right. We do love our writers.
We do love our writers. Jason, who told you that joke? You? That's right.
Sean told you that joke. So speaking of our writers, one of the things I love love so this is what I was getting at before and I've again it goes without saying how much I enjoy watching you perform I appreciate it I'm a legit fan and but in the last couple years the thing that I've really loved watching you in is Billions and I think that that is a performance that is so just deserves so much more acclaim.

And there's a specific, and for people who haven't watched it, it's really great. And it's Paul and it's Damien Lewis and amongst a million other really great performers.
I need to, I want to. I've heard nothing but great things about it.
So great. And I love me some Damien Lewis too.
I think he's just outstanding. Yeah, he's great.
But you, Paul, have this moment in the end of one of the

seasons

where you're

left on the bed. I don't want to ruin it.
I mean,

it's a few years old, but you're left on the

bed and you are crying

because it seems like your world has imploded.

And as the camera comes around,

it reveals that you're laughing.

And it was one of the great, I thought

it was such an incredible

device. It was a device, if you will.

Oh, thanks. It was such a small target for you to hit.
Yeah, because an actor would read that in the script and then you'd have to think, okay, well, how could I laugh that could believably sound like crying? It was tricky. It's a master class.
Unfortunately, some of it was on my back. Yeah.
That's actually what made some of it easier was it was on my back. So it was like I could do sort of like making it look like I was hunched over laughing or something.
But I think actually part of it is too, when I start laughing, I start crying actually. So it actually, it wasn't, you know, because if I, and I can get, I have, I'm able, making yourself laugh is tricky actually.
It can be, but I feel like it's like faking a sneeze or something like that. Like it's hard to fake a, make it, make an authentic sounding sneeze.
Oh, it is hard to do it. Are you a good crier? Can you cry on cue? Sometimes I'm not necessarily, I'm not one of those people that can do it on cue, and I'm not one of those people that's like, which eye do you want kind of thing.
Right. Laura Linney knows how to do that.
Laura Linney can, oh my God. My mom could nail that in a second.
Oh, hey, Paul. But wait a minute.
Because she only had one eye, Paul. Oh.
But wait a minute. Did she have tears out of the fake eye?

No, she had a fake eye.

She couldn't afford that one.

No, I'm serious. I'm serious.

That one came with a pump that she couldn't have.

It was a hole in her head.

It was a hole in her head.

So there was no form.

I'm sorry.

Did she lose the eye in some way?

Yeah, she was two.

When she was two years old, she had cancer.

Tracy found it and brought it to the show.

We actually had, we both, we've all three of us have held her eye.

We did it on stage

in Wisconsin.

Her actual eye

and formaldehyde

or her glass eye?

Yeah, her glass eye.

Wow, that's amazing.

Paul,

do you,

is there like a,

do you,

are you somebody

who seeks out,

like develop things

for themselves?

Are you just an actor

who's just like,

you know what,

my agent,

just call me

when there's something that you feel is right. Otherwise, I gonna go find a writer put this thing together right it was more that kind of thing for a long time i i made some like not unsuccessful attempts to to produce some stuff not even necessarily stuff for me to be in and i managed to make some movies and i did a television show that I then appeared in called Lodge 49 that nobody watched.
And it's a, it's a nice show. It's a really good show.
It's a really good show. And yeah, it was on for two seasons on AMC and nobody watched it, but it was a good show.
And just because the writer, I met the guy and I read the thing and thought, wow, somebody should help this guy make this thing because it's really great. But I haven't, only lately now, and as I finish Billions, I've actually been doing a podcast because for the past couple of months.
Which I was going to get to, yeah. Oh, great.
And that was something that I did develop with a guy that I know who is a philosopher and there's animation in it and stuff like that. That's kind of the first thing that I feel like I really did on my own.
Oh, that's cool. And that podcast is Chinwagging, is that right? It's called Chinwag, yeah.
Chinwag, Chinwag. What does that mean? What is a Chinwag? It's like a, I think it's a British term for like just shooting the shit.
Oh, I never heard that. Yeah.
Wagging your chin. Chinwag.
And it's a comedy podcast, but you get into all sorts of different areas.

You talk about...

UFOs and ghosts and Bigfoot and shit like that.

I'm in.

Yeah, because I like stuff like that.

I do too.

And I was like, you know what?

I'm tired of not talking about Bigfoot and doing shit about UFOs and ghosts.

Yeah, yeah.

I really was.

I really am.

Really?

Do you watch Ancient Aliens?

I do watch Ancient Aliens sometimes.

I love it.

I love that show. I love it.
What about how the about how the universe works? no I haven't seen that what's Ancient Aliens? what is Ancient Aliens? on History Channel it's on History Channel it's all about conspiracy theories about like why civilizations just died out like the Mayans or the Egyptians it's like all this stuff happens and then it's just done. It's like...
Chariots of the gods.

It's all about UFOs visited Earth back in the day and they built the pyramids and all this kind of stuff.

And we have legitimate people sort of espousing

on these theories and, yeah?

Fairly legitimate in their field.

They're legitimate in their field.

Is that a degree you can get fairly legitimate?

Yes.

History channel level.

Shatner actually was on... Was Shatner on Ancient Aliens? Okay, I'm in.
Yes, he was. He was.
And we actually talked, I talked to Shatner. He was the captain of a spaceship, so yeah, he's quite legitimate.
Yeah, yeah. And we will be right back.
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And now back to the show. Paul, do you, so what have you gleaned from these episodes about, say, for instance, UFOs? Are they, what's your feeling about it? Or Nessie.
What's going on with Nessie? Well, I'm a believer. I've never seen anything like this, but I'm a believer.
And stuff is super weird now. I mean, all the weirdness now of the government saying they exist.
They just opened up a new division. They just did, yeah.
They did, but I'm confused. It's like on the one hand, a bunch of guys say they're real, and then they walk that back very quickly, and it's really confusing.
And NASA just, is it in NASA that they just opened up a new thing? I don't know. Jason's read it.
I read that too. There's some part of the government is opening a new...
They're doing... And if it had any teeth to it, if they were really curious about it, I would think they would not tell us.
They would let us know when they were done. You would think.
Much like the intelligence community. It's odd, though.
We had Neil deGrasse Tyson on our show ages ago, right? One of the first episodes we did, and he made the point that if these things, these supernatural or extraterrestrial visits or all these things were actually occurring, we live in a time where people take something like a billion photographs a day and videos pointed in every direction, and yet there's no evidence. There's nothing.
Because they don't want to be found. There's lots of videos that they can't describe.
And they are. The Navy.
Well, the Navy videos are pretty remarkable. Yeah, but don't you think we live in a world now, too, that if there was actual proof...
You could hide it. That people...
Well, no. I think we live in a culture now where people would be like, yeah, that's kind of cool.
Anyway, what are you guys doing? They could give a shit. Don't give a shit.
Well, actually, just bury it. It would just get buried in the avalanche of shit that's out there all the time.
That's right. We just end up as just like a really non-consequential, like TikTok, like, I went with my family this weekend and we saw a UFO.
Yeah. You know, in that mechanical voice.
I love when I stumped that smart scientist, Degrass Tyson, on my whole mirror. How'd you do that? Oh, you should go back and have a listen.
It's a real great listen. Did you tell him the hard-on joke and see if he understood it? I have not yet heard that joke.
Here you go, scientist. See if you can figure this one out.
Who's named Kevin and who's Andrew, smart man? Jason was trying to figure out What did you stump him with? He was trying to figure out about figuring out if you could Time travel. Time travel and if you put a mirror far enough away could you see It was about the speed of light.
The speed of light and would you be able to see it? But the question was so long and involved you could see Neil deGrasse Tyson who really is a big brain guy who figures out a lot of stuff. He's glazing.
Glazing and really becoming quite confounded. And then you could see him because he was getting angry that he was having to spend so much time with a dumb dump.
And at which point I said, Neil, do you think that they could build a telescope big enough that you could go back in time through mirrors to see the beginning of Jason's question? Nice. That he liked.
We earned him back on that one. We earned him back.
Very good. I'm so into that, Paul.
So Billions is... Yeah, take a listen to it.
Billions is over. Yeah.
Yes, it is. Now it's ending.
Yeah, we just finished. Now it's ending.
Because you guys kind of you stuttered, stopped, you stopped, and then you guys did another season. Is that kind of how it went? Yeah, we had a...
Well, the COVID thing, you know, shut everything down, and so we had in the middle of the fifth season then we finished that half in the sixth and then we just did the seventh and now it's wow good for you was that a great a good positive experience working in new york yeah oh yeah it was great i mean i was 15 minutes from my house here in portland which was great and mike you know it's nice i could be around my kid he was a teenager and all of that was great yeah it was and the people were great there was no no assholes anywhere on it it was nice I could be around my kid. He was a teenager and all of that was great.
And the people were great.

There was no assholes anywhere on it.

It was great.

Good for you.

That's great.

You know what I always say?

If you look around, you can't find the asshole on a set.

It's probably you.

Yeah.

You do say that.

You do say that a lot. You do say that.

Once a day.

I'm looking forward.

This reminded me of my colonoscopy.

It's all about my asshole.

Yeah. You know? Great.
Way to bring it all colonoscopy. It's all about my asshole.
Yeah.

You know?

Great.

Way to bring it all back, guys.

We have a classic guest with us today.

Paul, what are you doing when you're not acting?

What are you doing to fill the time?

God, it sounds like you're just reading that.

No, I'm just trying to know.

More robotic.

Paul, what do you do when you're not acting?

It's a little eerie.

No, because I want to know because I know you're doing the podcast. like what else I do the podcast now and I read I read a lot I don't know it's a little bit like I'm I'm kind of I don't have a job now and I am a little anxious about it because I am a little bit I think of a workaholic actually like what will you do for the summer like okay again I have to do this podcast for one thing so you're going to do and then and then i don't know this is what's terrible i get all flummoxed you walk across the brooklyn this is what i imagine your day is you walk across the brooklyn bridge you go get coffee you go to the strand you might meet somebody for lunch okay you walk back you'll take a nap you'll go for dinner maybe you'll go to williamsburg like that's actually pretty accurate that's like that's terrifyingly accurate that's actually pretty close the thing that is very nice of what you do is that you you you work all the time so that we get to watch you like i love that you i can count on you being in something once a year at least you know like i hate these great high quality actors that are like so goddamn like i only want only want to work once every five years.
Well, but they're picky. That's not a bad thing.
You're very picky, though, too. It's just I feel like you – I think there's been more things that you haven't treated yourself to watching that I've done that are not of the highest quality.
There's plenty out there. Paul, I know you're being very modest.
I appreciate that, but I'm not – I should have been pickier in some ways. No, you're being very modest, and I will say – and I think what Jason is getting at is that you are – if I look at a film or a show that's coming out and I see Paul G, your name, I'm like, all right, this thing has a certain – I know.
I'm in good hands. Well, I appreciate that.
Yeah, it's true. It's true.
Now, saying that, here are the list of things that you've done that I have not liked. Oh, right.
Yeah. Because we like to end the show in terms of...
That's awesome. Oh, I love that.
I'm going to have to go alphabetical because the list is one. Excellent.
No, but Paul, but I was going to say, you've done so many things. We often ask people here, we're like, oh, what have you done? You've done a lot of this.
You've done a lot of that. What would you like to do? I mean, you've kind of done comedy.
You've done drama. You've done period.
You've explored a lot of areas. Yeah.
As an actor, is there one zone that you like, that you feel really comfortable in that excites you still? Well, I'd like to do more theater.

That would be nice.

I would like to do goofier comedic stuff,

which I used to do a long time ago,

and I haven't really gotten to do something like that

in a long time.

I'm not comfortable necessarily doing that at all.

But goofy, I'll bet not winking, though, right?

I'll bet like authentic, sort of like Coen Brothers type of eccentric characters that are very funny but they don't know they're funny. Yes, that would be nice.
What if he wants to wink, man? No. What's with you and the non-winking? Winking would be like, what do you mean? Super broad and sophomoric and you're overqualified for that.
You think so?

I don't know.

Superbred and sophomore.

Do you guys still love to perform on film and TV?

Do you still love it?

Do you still feel like it gives you the thing it always gave you?

Do you feel?

That's a good question.

I was going to ask you the same thing.

It's a good question.

I'm curious.

I love a set.

I just think it's, I'm so comfortable on a set.

I love how many people it takes to make something.

Well, you grew up on a set.

I know, but I didn't know then how complicated it is to make fake life and how many people you need to actually get it done. You know, that it's not just the...
So you love it. Yeah, I love it.
Love it, love it. And you love the process of it and all that.
More than the product. Uh-huh.
I get that. You know, to answer your question for me, I think at this age, it really now finally for the first time in my life, it really, really matters what it is.
Because if I'm going to spend all that time, energy, resources, all of it, I'm going to give 110%. I agree.
And if it works right, if it doesn't work right, that's fine. But as long as I believe in it, I think that's my answer.
I feel the same way. I feel like, yeah, and uh and if and if it works right if it doesn't work right that's fine but as long as i believe in it i think that's my answer i i feel the same way i feel like yeah and life and kids and also just sort of uh um feeling content on a day-to-day basis is i put such a premium on that and and being happy i put such a premium rather than on work and i the last couple years i have not really done anything i have i've not said yes to anything in in a long time until this year and that feels good that's felt good it feels really good and there were things i maybe should have done but i was just like i just didn't feel but you don't regret it no and i and luckily was doing other stuff so I could, you know, continue to make a living and could afford to say no, but I just wasn't feeling it.
I mean, you know, and Jay, I know that you feel, because you're doing so much more directing and you've had the opportunity, again, I don't want to speak for you, but it's as an observer that you do a lot of like, I don't want to do, you just want to do an observer that you do a lot of like i don't want to do you just want to do this stuff that excites you yeah yeah i want to be i really like being challenged because i know there's gonna i've had enough periods in my life where i'm not um confident or i'm not i'm not feeling up to a challenge and i know those times will occur again So while I'm feeling eager to take off possibly more than I can handle, I want to take advantage of those moments. That's great.
Yeah, for sure. Because I know I'm going to be a coward later again.
Carl, what about you? The same question to you. Yeah, no, I think I feel a lot of the same things that you guys were just saying.
But I feel like I'm a little bit in the place that you are, Will, where it's like, I think I just want to, and all of you guys, I just want to do the thing that is really going to matter because it's otherwise, I don't have the energy. I'm old.
I'm getting old, man. And it's like, I'm with you.
It's like, so I have to just, it's got to be something I really, really want to do. But it's been interesting doing other things too.
It's like, I'd like to, I would like to draw again. I would like to try to write.
I don't know if I can fucking read. I read all the fucking time, but I don't know if I can write something, you know? You should.
I would like to try, I'd like to try different things, you know? So I think I need to say no more. And I think I need to just do the things I want to do for sure.
Well, how about this? When you're done with your walk across the bridge to get the coffee and the dinner like Will said, you write a couple pages. I would try.
You know what you should do? You should get over there to the Belasco Theater and see Shawnee and Goodnight Oscar. I would like to see you.
I would very much like to see that. We're going to get you some house seats, Paul.
I would very much like to see that. I would love to see that.
Here's what's going to happen. I'm headed east at the end of this week, and I'm going to come to the city.
We're going to go and have dinner, or we're going to have lunch. I would love that.
Downtown, and then we're going to talk about what you're going to write. I would love it.
For 3%, Will? You're offering his agenting for 3%. No, I'm just going to help him.
It's going to be his idea. He knows how to write.
I actually would be, I would welcome that. That would help me.
It would help me. I need help.
Have a conversation to get ideas going for himself. He doesn't need my help.
He would help me. You're just offering your muse.
Muse for hire. Why don't you call it, Paul, why don't you call it Mothcatcher? I like it.
I like it too. Mothcatcher, fantastic.
That's a start. That's a great start.
Moth protectorector is that what I call it? Moth Protector Moth Protector Moth Trap Moth Trap Moth Trap Moth Trap that's a good one that's a good title is that a Mousetrap? that's a techno thriller what was the last book that you read that really that you were excited about that you really liked do you remember? I read a lot of like crappy is what I read. I read a lot of crappy thrillers and crappy mysteries and spy novels.
Oh, I love spy novels. I read a lot of spy novels.
I do, too. I read a lot of stuff like that.
That's the funny thing. I don't read much highbrow stuff, actually.
I read a lot of, like, spy novels. Yeah, I enjoy that stuff a lot.
I really like stuff like that. Do you ever read any of those Len Dayton books, you know? Yeah.
That's what I just read, actually. Are you kidding? Actually, I was going to say what I just read was a fucking Len Dayton book.
That's uncanny. It is uncanny.
What you just did there. So the Bernie Gunther series, right? Yeah.
So I read all nine of those a couple summers ago. Those are fantastic.
Yeah, those are great. I can see that.
Sean, right? Are these guys going to have a good lunch? We are. I just read a Lenday stuff.
You would be a great fucking Bernie Gunter. I can see these fucking clowns sitting on the Brooklyn Bridge, each with a book, sitting on a bench.
We're not even talking to each other. No, no, no.
Like some great old couple. So if you love those Lenday, I've got another series for you.
I'll bring them a book. That would be fun.
Bring them a book, Will. That would be lovely.
That would be lovely. Oh, my God.
I'm going to. Please.
By the way. Please.
Paul, what, what, now what are we, what are we looking at just before we let you go? What are we looking at for the summer? If the, if, if, if, if everything is kind of shut down, are you going to, are you going to hit the beach? Are you going to get in the water? Are you going to, what are you going to do? I know you're on the swim team. Yeah, I was on the swim team, I was on the swim team.
I'd like to get back in the water. Maybe I'll go up to Cape Cod or something like that.
I don't have a home up there, but I would go up there, a main or something like that. Maybe somewhere like that.
That would be nice. Well, let me just say this.
There are a lot of people, a lot of really bougie people who listen to our show. Give me your email address right now.
And if you've got a real nice place, if you've got a nice spread up there in the Cape or one of the islands of Vineyard or Nantucket, and you'd like to have Paul Giamatti as your house guest for a few days. Yeah, let us know on our Instagram.
That would be terrific. Somebody could host.
Let us know. And he's going to spend a lot of, during the day, don't bother him, he's reading Len Dayton books and he's going to be at the pool.
But then for dinner time, don't approach him if he's in the middle of the chapter. Give him a nice glass of mezcal.
He's not going to drink your wine, but give him a nice glass of mezcal, and then he'll discuss whatever you want. Awesome.
Paul, you're welcome. Is that good? We've set up your summer for you.
That's fantastic, thank you. By the way, all jokes, you're going to find yourself on a fucking yacht in the Mediterranean because of this.
This is going to be incredible. Oh shit, that would be great.
That's the demographic? That's the audience? It's all Yachty. That's the first thing right now?

It's all Yachty.

It's a real Yachty crowd.

Fantastic.

Paul, it is so nice to see you again.

And to echo what Will said,

I'm here in the city for quite a while,

so maybe we could grab a bite or something.

Please, nothing would make me happier than to have lunch with you guys.

I'm going to get your contact info from our guys, if that's okay, Paul. I'm going to reach out.
Absolutely. Fantastic.
It would be a pleasure. Okay.
And Jason, when I'm out there sometime, you guys FaceTime me from your lunch. Sure.
Jason, we love you. We love you.
But Paul can't wait. We love you, Jason.
Yeah, likewise. But Paul can't wait.
It's going to be amazing. Likewise.
Thank you, Paul. Such a pleasure to meet you, my friend.
Yeah, real pleasure to meet you guys. Thanks for doing this.
Thank you very much. Thanks a lot.
My pleasure. See you down the road.
Bye, pal. Bye.
Well, Will, you've, uh, it was worth the wait. Do you know him, Will? No, I, you know, I feel like I met him briefly.
He's a, he, I knew that he was friends with Thoreau. They're old friends.
Um, and, uh, and like I said, I've always just been such an admirer of his. Yeah, the credits are just endless.
And that's what I meant, right? He's an actor's actor. Like, we all, as actors, we're like, you know, if you were doing something, they'd go, oh, yeah, by the way, Giamatti's going to do it.
You'd be like, oh, man, this thing is really, this is a real blue chip event we got going here. Totally.
And I met him once at the Golden Globes years and years and years ago. But I didn't chat with him until right now.
And talking to him at length now, you feel like he's one of those people like, oh, I feel like I've known him forever. Yeah.
And he's the guy you'd give any part to. Yeah.
Yeah, he really does have that just, there's something about him when he inhabits a character, you're just with him yeah yeah um and he brings so much sort of pathos to every character i even enjoy watching his verizon commercials and he's playing einstein like i can't believe we didn't bring it i was going to i was going to but i was like i totally forgot when he plays santa claus right because his service was no he's playing he's playing einstein you stupid oh einstein i thought And his service was kaput. No, he's playing Einstein, you stupid fuck.

Oh, Einstein.

I thought it was Santa Claus.

And his service was kaput.

God, I wish we would have brought it up

and you would have said,

so when you play Santa in the Verizon commercial,

you stupid dick.

You stupid fuck.

Listen, you know what, though?

I didn't know he was in Brooklyn.

He lives so close to the Belasco.

Bye. Bye.
Bye.

Dot com.

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