"Matthew Rhys"

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Speaker 1 Sorry that you guys caught me off guard. I was just talking to Jason's wigmaker and

Speaker 1 he

Speaker 1 had said that they don't make the hair that Jason uses for the wig anymore because it's a synthetic thing, and it has to do with because they use a certain petroleum component to it, blah blah blah.

Speaker 1 Anyway, the point is: if you see Jason on the street, just please say, Hey man, your natural hair looks great.

Speaker 1 It's an all-new Smartless. Smart.

Speaker 1 Smart

Speaker 1 Less.

Speaker 1 Are you guys excited? I'm excited. Do you know what I'm talking about? I think, are you talking about our,

Speaker 1 we're on the TV? Yeah.

Speaker 1 With the doc. We're going to be on TV.
I told my whole thing. It's Smartless on the Road.
It's Smartless on the Road.

Speaker 1 On Macs. On Macs,

Speaker 1 that new platform, yes.

Speaker 1 Yes. Should we do...

Speaker 1 Should we see? Should we watch watch it together? Let's watch it together. That would be so good.
Oh, God, that's not a bad idea. I'm really excited.
I'm excited for people to see Will Farrell.

Speaker 1 Sounds weird to say. Well, yeah, I'm excited for people to see.
Well, we have so many great guests. Yeah,

Speaker 1 say some of the guests. We have Will Farrell.
Will starts it off, though, doesn't he? Will starts it off, we have Conan. Yeah, Kevin Hart.

Speaker 1 Letterman, hang on, hang on. Then we have Letterman.
Then we have

Speaker 1 AOC with special appearance by Can We Mention that Bradley makes a special appearance. Bradley Cooper comes out of the light for us.

Speaker 1 And then we go to Chicago. We have Andy Richter and Jeff Tweedy from

Speaker 1 Wilco. Mark Cuban.
Mark Cuban. And then

Speaker 1 Matty Damon. Matt Damon, the Matt Damon.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Octurtle, Quirtle, Wordle, Perennial Third Place Fisher, Matt Damon. And then one of the biggest guests of the entire tour is Tracy from Wisconsin.
Tracy. And then we have Tracy from Wisconsin.

Speaker 1 Sean's sister. My sister.
Oh, Sean's sister makes an incredible appearance. Yeah.

Speaker 1 good. And doesn't

Speaker 1 your mother's right eye make an appearance? And your mother's eye makes an appearance, too. It's all true.

Speaker 1 It's all true. And you can see it.
Get it? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't get it. On Max, Smartless, on the road.
Check it out. I'm glad you asked because I don't think they get it.

Speaker 1 And then, by the way, we come back to L.A., and then we end here

Speaker 1 with Kimmel. With Kimmel and Kevin Hart.

Speaker 1 I mean, we get to have,

Speaker 1 what a soft landing to come back and have our good buddy, Jimmy Kimmel. And then Jen makes an appearance.

Speaker 1 And then what's the final meal of the whole thing? Oh, yeah. Then we're over at Shawnee's house for somebody.
Oh, we got Shawnee's right. Spaphy and meatballs? We made Sloppy Joe's.
Sloppy Joe's.

Speaker 1 I made Sloppy Joe's from scratch for you guys. Yeah.
It's all in the dock. It's all in the dock.

Speaker 1 Are we watching it at your house? Yeah. Let's watch it, Animal.
Let's watch it. We'll watch it on Macs.
God, it's so fun.

Speaker 1 I hope people like it. Who knows?

Speaker 1 We hope. It looks real good, too.
Sam Jones did a great job directing it. It looks real handsome.
It's black and white. I hope people like it.
It's what? It's May 23rd, right? May 23rd on Max. Okay.

Speaker 1 I have a crazy story that happened.

Speaker 1 Well, I said I was going to save it to tell you today. You have some pre-show pattern? Yeah.
You know, Sean. Go ahead.
No, this is crazy. Sean, what have you prepared? I've prepared this.

Speaker 1 Sean, by the way, not to interrupt, but speaking of prepared, there's somebody preparing something in the kitchen behind you. Yeah, Scott is going to make me some tea right now.
Okay. Tea.

Speaker 1 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you fast? He's on Broadway, man.
He's on Broadway. I'm on the Broadway.

Speaker 1 Oh, to keep your pipes nice and lubricated.

Speaker 1 Well, it is one o'clock there. What was for lunch today?

Speaker 1 I just had a,

Speaker 1 what's it called? Like a Kaiser roll with egg and cheese and a little bacon.

Speaker 1 Apple juice. I had, what do they call it? Like a foot-long sub.

Speaker 1 A Kaiser roll. Kaiser.
Yeah. Where do you have to go to get that? Like downstream.
There's There's a bread shop. Downstairs.
Downstairs. No, Zabar's, Kaiser.
Zabar's is a Jewish deli.

Speaker 1 We live right near it. And then there's a cafe, and they don't do bagels with egg.

Speaker 1 You'd think they would do bagels because they sell bagels in the store part, but not the cafe part, which is really crazy. You got to go full Kaiser.
Yeah. All right.
All right. So this is the story.

Speaker 1 This is crazy. This is going to blow your mind.
I think it blew my mind. So the show takes place in 1958 backstage at the Tonight Show.
Oscar Levant is the guest on the tonight show that night.

Speaker 1 The other guest, which we never see we only reference a lot is jane mansfield sure okay

Speaker 1 who was you know this big star back in the 50s marilyn monroe jane manfield very similar

Speaker 1 so marishka hargotay you know marishka hargate i do sure yeah she's the star of uh uh the svu thing oh thanks scotty and um hey scotty

Speaker 1 just made me tea um so she's the star of this show for like 20 some years right so i'm so she's like i'm outside of your theater come out i'm like oh my god i came out gave her a hug uh said hello.

Speaker 1 We took a photo.

Speaker 1 And somebody in the show whispers in my ear, her mom is Jane Mansfield.

Speaker 1 I go, wait a minute. What? Yeah.
Whoa. Marishka Hargote's mom.
I go, your mom is Jane Mansfield. I go, do you know that we reference your mom in this show over and over again?

Speaker 1 Did your mom know Asuka Levant? She's like,

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 You know, unfortunately, she was very young when her mom died. So then we go back and we say herbes.
I go back in the theater and I forgot. I text her.

Speaker 1 I go by the way your mom made her broadway debut in this theater that we're working in right now

Speaker 1 isn't that crazy crazy crazy yeah

Speaker 1 so um did you at least offer her tickets to the show

Speaker 1 no she's got to pay for those yeah yeah i mean you can give her access to the house yeah i can get her on here her dad her dad was uh mickey hargette who was like a uh yeah bodybuilder yeah that's right from hungary how do you know that i know that she just googled it no i didn't i knew that before and um Wait, why do you know vague Hungarian bodybuilders?

Speaker 1 Do you want to see my magazine collection or not? No, I don't want to see your search history either. I do.
I actually do. I read somebody in my search history the other day.

Speaker 1 There's such a bonkers all over the map.

Speaker 1 I go, here, you want to know what I've been searching up for the last 24 hours? And it was just the weirdest, stupidest stuff.

Speaker 1 I want to say just because I want to be, and I don't want to bring it down, but I got to be honest about where I'm at, if that's okay.

Speaker 1 yes yes today and then we can switch gears is that okay just yes of course it is it's very real um

Speaker 1 you want me to say you want me to describe it my my my oldest friend in the world jeremy passed away oh and uh i loved him so much oh well i'm so sorry and uh yeah you just found out yesterday yeah yeah

Speaker 1 and um

Speaker 1 oh god i'm so sorry and i just got to be honest about it because it's what's going on in my head and

Speaker 1 I just wanted to say that. I love the guy so much.
And it's so, Jason and I were talking today

Speaker 1 this morning. And

Speaker 1 it's funny. We always get surprised when people say it's such a surprise, such a shock.
And we know that the deal is that everybody's going to die in something. We're here for five minutes.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He passed suddenly, well?

Speaker 1 You know, the last few weeks kind of came out of nowhere, certainly, and then he finally passed. And I'm happy he did.
He was, you know, obviously he was in a lot of pain.

Speaker 1 And I'm just thinking about his family and

Speaker 1 all of them, and I've known them forever. And

Speaker 1 his daughter and his wife and

Speaker 1 his parents, who my parents knew, and our great-grandparents knew each other. Our families are intertwined for generations.

Speaker 1 So Jeremy was up in Toronto?

Speaker 1 He was in Toronto, yeah. And

Speaker 1 he was one of the great guys.

Speaker 1 I always say he's a first ballot Hall of Famer. Just a great guy.
You could always rely on him. And

Speaker 1 I miss him. And,

Speaker 1 you know, you never,

Speaker 1 and I was just thinking this morning, and I was taking the kids to school. And I was just thinking, like, oh, man, hug the people you love.
Yeah, for sure. Tell them as much as you can.

Speaker 1 And if you're thinking about somebody, call them. Let them know.
Right.

Speaker 1 Just let them know you're thinking about them. You love them, how important they are to you.

Speaker 1 I love that. And I just wanted to say that because it's on my mind and I love you guys so much.
We love you. We love you.
You do too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's, it is, you're right.
It is this sort of like, we're always shocked that people die, but everyone here is going to. Everyone listening will.
And it's like, it's a terrible thought.

Speaker 1 And we somehow have managed this little device inside our head and our heart to kind of put it in a little box and keep it away and deal with it at near the end of our life.

Speaker 1 We just kind of pretend it's not ever going to happen, but

Speaker 1 it does, and we just hope we use our time correctly.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, for sure. You know,

Speaker 1 I just did this article, this interview, and Jay, you were so kind. I just read it.
You said such nice things about me, and I appreciate it.

Speaker 1 I appreciate your generosity. And

Speaker 1 I said,

Speaker 1 you know, if I can pull this thing off, great. If not, I'm still alive.

Speaker 1 That's my quote. you know about the play so you're feeling bullish about the play yeah

Speaker 1 it could suck but at least i'm not dead no but the point is to your point well is like we're still we're here we're here yeah right we're here in we're here nothing matters other than our health and our

Speaker 1 people we love and the people we love and and i just yeah i wanted to say that just say jer we love you and uh

Speaker 1 And that's it, you know, thinking about you, buddy. And I also know that he was always so quick with a laugh and he loved to freaking laugh.
This guy made me laugh. And

Speaker 1 so I don't know.

Speaker 1 He'd be like, great. We'll get to your guest.

Speaker 1 You're going to have a nice opportunity to give him a nice goodbye this weekend with all of those people you're talking about. That's right.
That'll be a wonderful thing for him to watch.

Speaker 1 That's right. You know, I mean,

Speaker 1 that's one of the good things about After We Go, right? We get to what, like, it's a narcissist delight. You get to just pull up a chair and watch everybody say nice things about you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I love it. At least that's my fantasy.
I know. Well, it's one of your fantasies.
Right. Just a big Jason session for a whole day.
What are you eating right now? No, in that situation where you get

Speaker 1 where it doesn't matter anymore. Just super salty, puff-inducing things.
Because, you know, you can be as puffy as you want upstairs. Sure, you can.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Turns out you can be as puffy as you want downstairs too.

Speaker 1 Actually you lose water weight almost instantaneously down there because you're always sweating. Oh.
Yeah. It's hot as shit.
Oh, where you're going.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're going to get a lot of sweating going on. That's a good point.
It's a constant schfitz.

Speaker 1 To switch gears. Sure.

Speaker 1 You know, if we can, as much as we can, to somebody who's not puffy.

Speaker 1 Really? No.

Speaker 1 This gentleman keeps it very tight in the best way. I really.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know. He really is.
He's got...

Speaker 1 This is a guy.

Speaker 1 You want to talk about First Ballot Hall of Famer? This is a guy who's got it all. I mean,

Speaker 1 when you got talent and good looks, forget about it. When you got an easy way about you,

Speaker 1 for freaking getting.

Speaker 1 This guy's done at everything. He's been on the big screen.
He's been on the little screen. He's been on the boards, you know, on stage, if you will.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 This guy's from the other side of the pond. Uh-oh.

Speaker 1 British. Yeah, well, he's actually Welsh.
His first language is Welsh, according to the internet.

Speaker 1 He's a guy who's done so much, and he's one of those guys who, like, you just, every time you see him, you're like, oh, I love this guy. Everything he does.
This is the way I feel.

Speaker 1 You know, he was for years he was on, you knew him from brothers and sisters, and then he was on the Americans forever. And the thing I love about him, maybe the most, is that he is

Speaker 1 partnered with one of my all-time favorite people,

Speaker 1 the delightful Kerry Russell. Guys, it's the incredibly talented Matthew Reese.
Oh, man. Oh, my God.
Yes. Look at him.

Speaker 1 Is he gorgeous or what? Look at the stash. No, look at him.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 no.

Speaker 2 Not for you.

Speaker 1 We have a fifth guest today.

Speaker 1 He proved that the mustache was real. He pulled out it just to prove it.

Speaker 2 No, no, I'm just checking the glue.

Speaker 1 Listener, he's got a 30-pound mustache on and it's looking strong. Are you playing a motorcycle cop?

Speaker 2 No, I'm doing the Tom Selick biopic.

Speaker 1 You could.

Speaker 1 You could. Welcome to Smartless Matthew Real You.
Thank you, thank you very much.

Speaker 2 You know,

Speaker 2 that's the real terrifying moment, the reveal.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 2 At the beginning, I was like,

Speaker 2 is he talking about Ian McKellen?

Speaker 1 Who are they expecting? What is this? This is going to go. It's Karen Edgerton, everyone.

Speaker 2 The real Welshman who can say.

Speaker 1 Wow,

Speaker 1 it's so cool to meet you. I know.
Very, very cool.

Speaker 2 Thank you very much much for having me on, Chen. This is a real pleasure.

Speaker 1 Matthew, I wish we don't know each other well enough. We've crossed paths a few times because obviously

Speaker 1 Carrie and I are old friends. And so we've met through Carrie.
And she's such a delightful person, as you are well aware. And then she's like, I just, I love the idea.

Speaker 1 I'm like, you're as good as the people you hang out with. And the fact that you and Carrie are together, I'm like, Matthew's a good guy.
He's a great guy. I can't.

Speaker 2 No, I just know.

Speaker 2 I took that idea and then I latched myself onto FX so that those around us would think the same thing.

Speaker 1 By the way, that's smart. That's smart living.
How long did you guys do that show together? Was it five, six? It was

Speaker 1 six. It was six years.

Speaker 2 It was meant to be five. And I think

Speaker 2 the poor showrunners had kind of arced it for five. And then FX went, you know what, let's do one more.
And they went, what?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 We're less.

Speaker 1 We had the opposite.

Speaker 1 That's a good sign on a show. We're talking, of course, about the Americans.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 and margo martindale is a friend and dear dear margo martindale yeah that that care that they were both reunited on cocaine bay recently yes so margo and you did you were in cocaine bear as well i i muscled my way in just what looking after the kids in ireland and reading the script and i and that first opening scene i said i was like who who who's playing that guy the guy who bangs his head and falls out the plane she's like what what who i don't know and then i said ask back ask elizabeth banks i said ask banks who's playing that that part.

Speaker 2 So she texts Banks. Oh, we haven't cast it yet.
And I said, tell her, I'll do it.

Speaker 2 No, just ask her if I can do it. And she very kindly said, yes, you can come in and fall out of an airplane.
By the way,

Speaker 1 what an absolute treat. So you're directing a movie and then you got a guy who's got like one scene, basically.

Speaker 1 And then you're like, Matthew Reese calls and he's like, hey, can I just do this one scene? You're like,

Speaker 1 are you kidding?

Speaker 2 Yeah, she smelled the desperation on me. I was like, can I please get out of the house? I can't do another zoo or aquarium.

Speaker 1 Please. Sean, is it true the rumor? Sorry,

Speaker 1 that's how you and Scott met, right?

Speaker 1 Didn't you put in the search for Cocaine Bear?

Speaker 1 No? Did I not hear that verse?

Speaker 1 Technically, it was Cocaine Cub, wasn't it? It was Cocaine Cub. Yeah.
It was the prequel that they have called Scotty. Oh, Scotty, if he only knew.
So you do Cocaine Bear.

Speaker 1 And of course, I want to get,

Speaker 1 I don't want to just gloss over the delightful Margot Martindale, whom we all admire.

Speaker 2 No one can swear like Margot Martindale. Oh,

Speaker 2 I mean she should, she should have a kind of course at NYU, like swearing for film and television, because

Speaker 2 no one can swear like her.

Speaker 1 And no one can get their ire up quicker and then get to swearing over like something that seems trivial. We did the show together, the Millers, and she'd be like,

Speaker 1 I believe they just did this rerouting. I got to fucking remember this fucking thing whom they want to shoot this afternoon.
You're like, Jesus, what? Yeah.

Speaker 2 She said of one very famous actor who's in our show, she went, can you fucking hear the way he breathes?

Speaker 1 I went, well, before then, I had, no, I haven't actually, but I can hear it now. You brought it up.

Speaker 1 Show it, Jason. Oh, Jason,

Speaker 1 Jason,

Speaker 1 you will so fall in love with Margot Martindale, you won't be able to contain yourself. Guys, am I right? Yeah, she's gold.
She's gold. She's absolute gold.
Now, tell me,

Speaker 1 Welsh is a language. Is that what I heard you say, Will? Oh, my God.
First all,

Speaker 1 wait, so it's not English. Getting ready for the letters.

Speaker 2 It's not English. It's much older than English.
It's one of the oldest in Europe.

Speaker 1 So let's start there. So I just want to say, so, Matthew, you are, it says that your first language was Welsh.
Is that true?

Speaker 2 It is. It is.
I grew up speaking Welsh. The whole family speak Welsh.

Speaker 1 But isn't Welsh just English with an accent? I don't understand.

Speaker 2 Yes, basically.

Speaker 2 What we do is try and adopt such a harsh accent. No one really understands the English we're speaking.
No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 He's putting you on. So I've spent some time in Cardiff, which is where you're from, yeah, Matthew? It is.

Speaker 2 What were you doing there?

Speaker 1 I was filming there a few years ago, and I remember we had some. What were you driving?

Speaker 1 I had, I was going to say, the driver I had when I was working on that show, you know, the guy.

Speaker 2 Jerry Lockett?

Speaker 1 Yes, Jerry Lockett.

Speaker 2 Oh, the Lockett Rocket.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 the famous Jerry Lockett. What do you mean, driver? What are you talking about? You got a Rolls-Royce.
That's what I was trying to bait you to.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, no, no. I didn't.

Speaker 1 No, they loaned me a Bentley when

Speaker 1 I was in London. I was driving around for a a few weeks.
I know.

Speaker 1 It's a long story.

Speaker 2 Wait, did you drive yourself in this? Yeah, I did.

Speaker 1 I did. I drove myself.
Did you go outside drive? Sure did.

Speaker 1 And then I drove to Ricky's, to Jervis's house in London because I was going to have

Speaker 1 his house to have just a visit. Who are you? Who's this? And I called him and I said, I'm outside.
And he came out and he saw me in this Bentley. I go, where can I park this thing around here?

Speaker 1 And he was like, Jesus fucking Christ. Look at it.
It wasn't mine. It was literally, I don't drive a Bentley.
That was why I made a point. Anyway, so you're from Cardiff.
We know Jerry Lockett.

Speaker 1 We've got Jerry out there. We know that he's listening.
We love you, Jerry. So we know you're here.

Speaker 1 How are you?

Speaker 1 And I knew that you guys knew each other because he was always like, do you know Matthew Reese? And I was like, I do. I do a little bit because I know Carrie.
And he says, yeah,

Speaker 1 Matthew's from here. And he's so proud of you.
And all the Welsh are so proud of Matthew for what you've done.

Speaker 2 I think there's only because it's only three million, of us, three and a half million.

Speaker 1 That's all of Canada, isn't it?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 2 First What is the population of Canada now?

Speaker 1 30, 30, 30. Oh, okay.
He missed it by a zero. 10%.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So anyone who's Welsh and has done anything, even if they haven't done anything, we're just inherently proud. Yeah, yeah.
For a country the size of Connecticut.

Speaker 1 Two of them are named Bail, and one of them is named Reese. Yes, that's it.
That's basically Christian Gareth

Speaker 1 Bail and Matthew Reese.

Speaker 2 Well, there's also Hopkins. You also got Hopkins.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, you too. You do.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then Burton, obviously. They're a bunch of people.

Speaker 1 So wait, I don't know anything about you, and I know you. I'm a fan of you, but I don't know anybody.

Speaker 1 Did you, so were you one of those people that grew up and did theater and stuff as a kid, and you're like, oh my God, if I can go to America, wow. We're going to get to that, John.

Speaker 1 That's exactly right. She's right in the middle of a story.
He's telling you a story. So he grew up in a story.

Speaker 1 He was speaking Welsh as his first language.

Speaker 1 So he's

Speaker 1 landing the plane on that. Okay, sorry.
Go ahead, Matthew. And

Speaker 1 John, check your chat, please. So talk about.
No, but growing up speaking Welsh, you guys spoke Welsh at home, yeah?

Speaker 1 We did, we did.

Speaker 2 And in Wales,

Speaker 2 there's a great, you know, there's a great reverence for, you know, performing arts, and there's a very, there's a kind of an ancient tradition,

Speaker 2 it's pre-Christian,

Speaker 2 whereby everyone congregates, in the old days, everyone would congregate, and then you would sing competitively or recite poetry or anything of that ilk, basically.

Speaker 2 And it's very modern these days, but twice a year. All the children of Wales will gather and

Speaker 2 it's a competition now, but you're very much encouraged to get on stage and in some form art form or another and compete for your school or your county or or whatever oh wow so yeah so from a very early age you're kind of kicked onto a stage um whether you want to really yeah yeah

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Speaker 1 All right, back to the show.

Speaker 1 So you grow up, you're speaking well. Obviously, you speak English as well.
They speak both.

Speaker 1 It's, you know, one in English and one in Welsh. And it's tough to read.

Speaker 2 It's the hotbed of contention, yeah.

Speaker 1 What's the distance between English and Welsh? I mean, I have absolutely no idea what it sounds like, what it looks like. Yeah,

Speaker 1 talk a little bit in Welsh just so we can hear it.

Speaker 2 I'll just get one of one of the oldest poems in Welsh is about 600 BC, and it just says,

Speaker 1 It's Lord of the Rings, the Elves. It's how the Elves speak in Lord of the Rings.

Speaker 2 Yes, well, Tolkien based Elfish on Welsh.

Speaker 1 Oh, I just made that up. Is that true? Oh, yes, it is.
What? Are you kidding me? I mean, I'm a 54-year-old man that is not living in a cave. Why have I never, ever heard Welsh?

Speaker 1 It's a golden cave, let's be honest. Yes, a beautiful cave.
I've heard tell. I've heard tell

Speaker 2 one cave to bind us all.

Speaker 1 I don't understand how that's gone by me.

Speaker 1 Well, I do. Well, I

Speaker 2 think, I think, Alyssa, I don't want to get into the English bashing soapbox, but the English did, you know, if we could, we'll do a quick history.

Speaker 2 The English did their best to kind of eradicate all the Celtic languages for the Scots, the Irish, the Welsh, the Cornish, you know, they

Speaker 2 weren't too Celtic-friendly. So there was a lot of stamping out of the language in the culture.

Speaker 1 Wow. And was it influenced

Speaker 1 by

Speaker 1 folks more northern? Like, was there a Viking influence to all of those Celtic languages?

Speaker 2 I mean, there's the great evolutionist, Germanic-based, and then, you know, I think the Celtoi were a Spanish tribe initially. And they, you know, then the Gauls got involved and amalgamated.

Speaker 2 And then they set up camp in Britain. And then the Romans came.

Speaker 1 We're all such babies here in America. Well, you don't learn any...
Even if you did pay attention, you know, even if you did in America go to school not on a massage bus,

Speaker 1 you learned history. How dare you? You still learned history.
But at least in Canada, we had to take British history.

Speaker 1 So we knew we were always studying the fucking Battle of Culloden and all that shit.

Speaker 2 Is the Empire still stamped down your throat in Canada?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. I mean, I haven't lived there in 30 years.

Speaker 1 He's not a guy who reads World War II books on the can, going to bed.

Speaker 1 It's not as bad as Justin Thoreau, Thoreau, who will watch World War II documentaries through the facehole of a massage table on his iPhone.

Speaker 1 He takes it to a new level, this lust for World War II. He lines it just for comfort and stuff.
He lines it with his discarded sleeves just to protect his face. Just to pad the ring.

Speaker 1 So, Matthew, so you're in, you're, what, you're sort of 17 and you go to Rada.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, went to the

Speaker 1 Royal Academy of Dramatic Art in London, which is the preeminent classical

Speaker 1 acting school in the world.

Speaker 2 Yeah. That's what I tell everyone.

Speaker 2 That's why I told my parents they allow me to go.

Speaker 1 It's like everybody who goes to Rada, they'll tell you. And it's the same way with everybody who's ever gone to Oxford.
Make sure to let that be known. Yes, we'll drop it in.

Speaker 2 You know, they're all called.

Speaker 2 You walk in and they've left the honor boards are still up

Speaker 2 in the foyers. So, like, you know, it has Peter O'Toole and Anthony Hopkins.

Speaker 1 It's incredible.

Speaker 1 I did a summer course there years ago.

Speaker 1 Did you? 1987. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Shakespeare? Yeah, I did the whole thing for a few months there. Yeah.
Come on.

Speaker 1 At Rada. I sure did.
How was that? It was amazing, man. What did you do? You seemed so dumb.
It was amazing.

Speaker 1 Is there a lot of pressure when you go to a school like that

Speaker 1 to make it? I mean, obviously you did, but I mean, is there,

Speaker 1 just sort of culturally, do you feel they're like, oh my God, okay, so I'm in Rada now.

Speaker 1 I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta maintain our batting average of, or is there a lot of people that go there and then go into other fields?

Speaker 1 Is that more common?

Speaker 2 It is. It is.
It's a very small intake. There's only 30 to each year.

Speaker 2 15 men, 15 women. Every year.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
So it's very small. So you feel the pressure immediately.

Speaker 2 That's small.

Speaker 1 Did they do it on a bus?

Speaker 2 Yes, like a massage bus.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 It just kind of goes around around to Piccadilly.

Speaker 1 You said 30 on the massage bus comfortably.

Speaker 1 That's what I heard. And then

Speaker 1 you guys stop for lunch at Jinkies on Ventura, right?

Speaker 1 Some reading at the Bodhi tree.

Speaker 1 But it's very exclusive. But here you are, you're a kid from Cardiff.

Speaker 1 You're the only Welsh person in your year.

Speaker 2 Yes, I was. I was.
I had a friend who was a year older, and then Michael Sheen had just come through and kind of blazed a trail and was kind of, you know, setting the West End on fire.

Speaker 2 So there was this, you know, there was

Speaker 2 the flag of Wales is the dragon. So, there was a kind of a dragon firmly stamped as to, you know, the Welsh are resurging again.

Speaker 2 Um, but you know, like I said, Hopkins, Anthony Hopkins was the chairman of the board at the time. So, he'd be in and out, and he'd just done Shadowlands.

Speaker 2 So, you know, there was this, there was this great air that, you know,

Speaker 2 anything was possible, really. I think one of the things that the Welsh and Wales suffer from enormously is small person syndrome.

Speaker 2 And at that time, there was just this little bubble of a few, you know, Welsh people doing incredibly well. Catherine Zito was bursting through the ranks.

Speaker 2 So I was there at this renaissance when anything felt possible.

Speaker 1 You know what my question is going to be? I can ask it now or later. Did you ever forget a line on stage? What's your favorite theater story, Matthew? Yeah, because you got to have one or two.

Speaker 2 Yes, I have, I have,

Speaker 2 well, I have quite a few, in fact. No, but

Speaker 2 possibly when I was, because I was doing theater for the first five years solidly.

Speaker 2 And then at 25, I thought

Speaker 2 I'd got the role that was going to change my life and my career. It didn't.
But I got to play Benjamin Braddock in a stage adaptation of The Graduate with Kathleen Turner as my Mrs. Robinson.
Wow.

Speaker 2 And to me, it was the first real introduction to Hollywood because I'd never experienced anything like it in every sense.

Speaker 2 PAs. And I was like, what's a PA? Who has a PA? It was just incredible.
Anyway, fast forward, halfway through the run,

Speaker 2 it got a little, you know, there were a few bedroom antics

Speaker 2 in the production. And there's one moment where I jump in bed and we're simulating sex.
And I have to kind of plunge my face between her legs as if I'm pleasuring her.

Speaker 1 Sure.

Speaker 2 Or she did have the, you know, the obligatory kind of, you know, flesh-toned underwear on. But anyway, I had a streaming head cold.

Speaker 1 Sure.

Speaker 2 And being the malicious, vindictive type that I am, I wouldn't let the understudy go on. So I went on and I had my nose was just streaming.

Speaker 2 My nose was streaming. And I couldn't, I didn't want to kind of sniff heavily during, you know, during dialogue.

Speaker 1 So I, and I'm just an idea.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and I go, oh, I know what, I know what I, I know what I, I know what I'll do. I'll just clear my nose in that quiet moment when I'm between, I know, and I didn't think.

Speaker 2 So I jumped in and I'm between Miss Turner's legs and I just went

Speaker 2 and inhaled deeply and the covers kind kind of shot up and she's looking down at me like what the fuck what the fuck are you doing and i was like oh oh no i'm not no i'm not i'm not snip i'm not sniping i have a cold i have a cold i'm not sniffing you you're not trying wine out no no oh my god no way yes i i i always live with this deep regret of that moment that and when a someone there was a paparazzi photo when the moment she and she took off her her robe and this paparazzi photographer stood up and and photographed her and a big flash went off.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 2 And I looked at her on stage in this moment, and I was like, Oh, we should, we should stop. And she came in with the next line.

Speaker 2 And I always remember thinking, regardless that she was a consumer professional, went, I'm going to come in with the next line, I'm going to carry on.

Speaker 2 I bitterly regret in that moment not stopping the production because the next day in a tabloid newspaper, there was

Speaker 1 a huge photograph of, yeah,

Speaker 2 I was ashamed.

Speaker 1 I was ashamed. Oh, my God.
Well, you know.

Speaker 1 But it was.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's a tabloid in the headline just said, Welshman,

Speaker 1 you know, just fucking cowers under pressure. Yes.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yes.

Speaker 1 Spineless Welshman does nothing.

Speaker 1 We leave it to the English tabloid. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I love that.
Oh my fucking God. So Matthew, so you did, as you said, you did.

Speaker 1 Did you play another great Welshman? You played Dylan Thomas, didn't you? I did. At one point.
I did.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God, if you feel so long ago, it was about 12 years ago now. Yeah.

Speaker 2 He had this incredible moment. The poet Dylan Thomas had this incredible moment in his life where he was having an affair.

Speaker 2 That part was played by Kira Knightley and Turner Miller was playing my wife. And

Speaker 2 Killian Murphy is the husband of Kira Knightley. And this is all true, that he burst in on Dylan Thomas with a machine gun because during the Second War, he came in with a machine gun.
He opened fire,

Speaker 2 and then missed everyone, and took out a grenade, pulled the pin, and the grenade didn't go off. And it was that story that we told in

Speaker 1 Age of Love.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it was kind of an unbelievable story that he survived and then tragically drank himself to death.

Speaker 1 Wow, talk about

Speaker 1 the worst assassin you could ever imagine.

Speaker 2 Yes, and I was like, I was talking to Killian Barry. I was like, but you're playing a you're a commando.
You're a trained commando.

Speaker 2 Do you want to play this part?

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 you do not live in Wales, correct?

Speaker 2 I do not, no. I now live in leafy Brooklyn.

Speaker 1 Leafy Brooklyn. Yeah, so you live in Brooklyn, but you come over, you do theater, as you say, for basically five years.

Speaker 1 And then you move over to America to do what? What was the first thing that brought you over?

Speaker 2 The first thing I did, I was doing a play. I was actually doing a two-hander at the Royal Court with Paul Bettany called One More Wasted Year, and everyone called it One More Wasted Evening because

Speaker 1 it wasn't good.

Speaker 2 My own family said as much.

Speaker 1 It was terrible.

Speaker 1 Didn't they really? So they come backstage and what were they saying to you backstage?

Speaker 2 My uncle was the first person of the entire group and they came in and he's an old sea captain, very salty. And he went, well, that was shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I couldn't argue. I went, you're absolutely right.
And then, yeah.

Speaker 2 Stephen Dauldry, who was the Stephen Dauldry, who was the artistic director at the time, and Press Night came in, went, darlings, was it the play we need to see right now probably not should we go to the party

Speaker 2 that was hysterical oh wow that's so hardcore so you come over with paul betney you do sorry yes yeah an american agent came to see the play and he said do you want to come over for pilot season and i had no idea what it was and uh and i said yes and then came came to la

Speaker 2 and then The first audition he set me up with, it was Julie Tamer's first movie, Titus, with Anthony Hopkins and Jessica Lang.

Speaker 2 And I just thought, oh my God, Los Angeles is truly the promised land where you just turn up and get these huge movies and everything's great.

Speaker 2 And then I did that.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I shot that in Rome for six months. And then I went back to Erland and got a job for a decade.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I thought, here's another time I'm going to, my career is going to be made.
And it was just like, eh, where. Yeah.
Just paying for it. Isn't that amazing?

Speaker 1 I love that feeling of like, yeah, it's going to be like this forever. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's like the Klondike. I arrived.
It was like the Klondike, where they throw you these scripts and go, this is being made for MGM with this as the lead.

Speaker 2 And you're like, oh, my, and you're allowing me to audition for this.

Speaker 1 This is madness.

Speaker 2 All I have to do is get the part and I'm set for life.

Speaker 1 You never know anything. You really don't.
I mean, look at us three morons. Like, we've, each of us have had great success as I knock on wood.
We're super grateful for in our careers.

Speaker 1 But then, you know, this thing comes along. It's more successful than anything we've ever done.
And it was just us three idiots chatting during COVID.

Speaker 1 What were you doing?

Speaker 1 The world basically was saying, we don't want you guys to do the thing that you think that you're going to just. Yeah, the things you're professional at.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can keep doing that a little bit if you want, but we just want you to be that you're we want to hear your idiotic thoughts on stupid shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just like, you know, wonder at the moment where Sean learns that whales was, you know, why, you know, where Wales got its name, Sean? You know, that's where they made the first harpoon.

Speaker 1 You know, that's not true. That's not true.
It's not true. That's not true.
Correct. But you bought it for a second.

Speaker 1 And that's what they tune into.

Speaker 1 Because he'll fuck with me and he'll say something that's completely not true and then he'll say something that's completely true. I never know what to believe.

Speaker 1 I know, Amy. But wait a minute.

Speaker 2 They did shoot Moby Dick in Wales with Gregory Peck. And my grandfather worked on it.

Speaker 1 Is that true? Is that true? Is that true? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they built three large rubber whales.

Speaker 2 And one of them,

Speaker 2 I know,

Speaker 2 this is the great joke, is like they came to Wales.

Speaker 2 And one of them sailed off into the Irish Sea, which I think is fantastic.

Speaker 1 I have a whale that needs a rubber, but go ahead. Heyo.

Speaker 2 my grandfather caught Moby Dick, but there's a cure for it now.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, wait. What did your grandfather do on the on that?

Speaker 2 His, his friend Dadka was a carpenter, and I think he kind of, they kind of helped out and I think in the, in the framing of the whales.

Speaker 1 I love that. Yeah.
That's cool. Wait, I want to ask about Carrie.
And I want to know, like, did you meet each other? Because I'm an idiot. I don't know.
Did you meet before Americans or on the set?

Speaker 1 And how did that go? And when did you know the sparks flew? Just one question at a a time. We did

Speaker 2 because I get easily confused.

Speaker 1 Because I love Carrie. I love Carrie.

Speaker 2 So do I.

Speaker 2 We met quite a few years before the Americans

Speaker 2 in Rustic Canyon at a kickball party that Jennifer Gray hosted. And I had no idea what kickball was.

Speaker 1 Boy, all of that adds up, by the way. Yes, yes.

Speaker 2 How I just ambled through life, bumping into the furniture and ending up going, how did I get here?

Speaker 1 How did this happen?

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 we were the last two two to leave. We're in the parking lot.
I was trying to open a bottle of beer for her with a key and failing. And I asked for her number then.

Speaker 2 And then, and that was, and that was all I can remember.

Speaker 1 She was moving to New York

Speaker 2 two days after that on the Tuesday. It was a Sunday.
And that's all I still remember. And then

Speaker 2 the road to the Americans was a long, crazy one. And then on the first day of fight training, I said to Carrie, I said, oh, we've met before, actually.
She was like, no, no, we definitely met.

Speaker 1 I said it'd been years.

Speaker 2 He's been years at this point. and i said yeah yeah we met before we met at a kickball party in rustic canyon she went oh

Speaker 2 i know who you are and you left me a message on my answering machine a very drunken message and i went oh did i did i i'm so sorry i have no memory of lead leaving a long rambling incoherent drunken message which is probably where she's no wait did you really wait can i can i be a a a super moron Are you guys together?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Ah, yes.
Okay. Wait, did you, so you got together, you started with a bunch of people.
Why are we just bringing up that they're just good friends?

Speaker 1 No, because they were together on the Americans for six years. That's what I'm saying.
That's what I was asking.

Speaker 1 But during that, you guys fell in love, got married, had a kid? We did, yes. Yeah, but I want to know what happened.
So she goes, okay, now I remember you. And then what?

Speaker 2 And then

Speaker 2 it was a very slow burn. The first season, you know,

Speaker 2 I think we're both trying to be sworn off to that thing. We're going to go, I'm not going to do what everyone tells us never to do.
I'm not going to do that.

Speaker 2 And then, but the beginning of the second season, it was

Speaker 1 a sale.

Speaker 1 Okay, so now were the producer, did the producers take each of you aside individually and say, hey, this is, you're dealing with an asset here, okay? Everyone has jobs.

Speaker 1 If you guys go south, we have to shut the show down.

Speaker 1 Were there conversations?

Speaker 2 No, no, they were very gracious about it.

Speaker 1 Cause I've had friends.

Speaker 2 I'm so nervous. I know.
I've had friends who, you know, who've had that conversation, conversation, the sit-down from the producers going, look, we've all been down here before.

Speaker 2 You guys are in your mid-30s now. You know, you're not 22.

Speaker 1 Right off the company.

Speaker 2 And they were very, yeah, they were very kind and gracious about it. Do you know, do you know the TV director, Tommy Shlamy? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So Shlami was directing the beginning of the second season.

Speaker 2 And he has that kind of beautiful voice. But Kerry and I were having a, we were doing a sex scene.
And Shalami just goes, these two have been naked together before.

Speaker 1 And then they just was like called

Speaker 1 out oh really

Speaker 1 so at that point no one knew but he could tell

Speaker 2 he could he could tell and then and then there's a longer story as to how we got found out which was uh just we've got time well kerry got broken into i was in the i was in i was in the house at the time and the and the robbers kind of grabbed my backpack hold on shoved it full of her stuff you're in the house alone during a home invasion yeah yeah

Speaker 2 stop there well so so here's the other thing: it's early day, and this is just a testament to my abject stupidity. But with early days of

Speaker 2 our relationship,

Speaker 2 and she wakes me up, she says, there's someone in the house. And I go, no, there's not.
And then I just heard this voice.

Speaker 2 And I remember thinking, in any logical moment, you'd go, let's lock ourselves in the bathroom, call 911. And for some stupid reason, because it was very early days, I thought, what I do next,

Speaker 2 she will judge me on for the rest of our lives. Have you seen, what's that film?

Speaker 2 Force majeure. Force majeure.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Where the avalanche comes and he just runs. He leaves his family beyond.
Right, right.

Speaker 1 I swear to God,

Speaker 2 I was like, if I suggest to go into the bathroom and call 911, will she think me a coward? Right.

Speaker 1 Your relationship's over. Yes.

Speaker 2 I had all these weird things going through my head. So what did I do?

Speaker 2 She had a working fireplace

Speaker 2 in the bedroom. So I picked up the poker.
Sure. And with not a stitch on on me, I walked out to meet my fate.
Oh God.

Speaker 1 Wow. And we'll be right back after these messages.

Speaker 1 Okay, so now we're back. So now we're back.
So now you're now.

Speaker 2 So after eight months of treatment, yes, I was fine. No, I'm kidding.

Speaker 1 So, so did you face to face with this fella?

Speaker 2 No, because what I did was, I think

Speaker 2 what most people do is you turn the light off, light on, and they run straight away.

Speaker 2 So I heard them kind of run and

Speaker 2 they ran out the front front door.

Speaker 2 I know. I know.
Jesus.

Speaker 1 So you do this and now Carrie thinks that you're her hero.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't go that far. Or did she think you were stupid for going for chase? Yeah, basically, yeah.
She was locked in the bathroom. Yeah.
Yeah. Calling nine moments.
Waiting for you. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Then seven cops turn up and they start, they clock her and they're like looking. They'll have no idea why, but they're looking at her.

Speaker 2 And then all of a sudden the DA were like, they catch them and the DA said, oh, I tell you what, we would love to return your belongings on set with a photographer to Kerry, if that's okay.

Speaker 2 And she's like,

Speaker 2 She wasn't wild about the idea, try to put it on, no, no, no, because the DA was retiring that year, he wanted kind of a you know, hero ending.

Speaker 2 So the NYPD came on set with a photographer, and then they're holding up my bag. And Yadid, one of the young PAs went, Wait, that's not Kerry's bag, that's Matthew's bag.

Speaker 1 And as I'm running, trying to go, Shut the fuck off!

Speaker 2 And that's how the that's how the crew kind of found out.

Speaker 1 No wow, that was so arbitrary. Yeah, that's crazy.

Speaker 2 It was a lot to go through just for the big reveal.

Speaker 1 Wow. That's kind of cool.
So then this guy managed to grab a few things before he went running. He did.

Speaker 2 He did. He did.
Wow. And

Speaker 2 when I saw the picture of him when he was arrested, I said, oh, I said, look, there's a picture of the guy that caught him. I said, look, look,

Speaker 2 he's been cuffed by two little tiny cops. And she said, they're not tiny.
And I saw this. Oh, my.
And I saw the size of him.

Speaker 2 He could have turned me into a kebab with that poker and done what he wanted.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't have had a... Now, did you have any sort of war cry as you turned on the light? Was there any sort of, you know,

Speaker 1 hey, bear! Hey, bear!

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know?

Speaker 1 Was there any of that?

Speaker 2 No, no. As much as that, as much as I...

Speaker 1 I'm a poker. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 As much as I love that moment in Gladiator when all the Celts kind of attack the Romans. And I always think, you know, if it came to it, that's how I'd react.
I was not I couldn't move my legs

Speaker 1 don't make me come down there yeah yes I'm I'm classically trained you know I've done fencing totally naked

Speaker 2 yes let's just let's get this going yeah

Speaker 1 and we will be right back

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Speaker 3 The family that vacations together stays together. At least, that was the plan.
Except now, the dastardly desk clerk is saying he can't confirm your connecting rooms.

Speaker 1 Wait, what?

Speaker 2 That's right, ma'am. You have rooms 201 and 709.

Speaker 3 No, we cannot be five floors away from our kids.

Speaker 2 The doors have double locks, they'll be fine.

Speaker 3 When you want connecting rooms confirmed before you arrive, it matters where you stay.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Hilton.

Speaker 3 I see your connecting rooms are already confirmed. Hilton, for this day.

Speaker 1 And now, back to the show.

Speaker 1 All right, so you and Carrie have a child. That's a boy or a girl?

Speaker 2 He's a boy. He's a boy.
Kerry has two older ones, so there's three, you know, there's three in the house who outnumber us.

Speaker 1 And what are the ages of all three?

Speaker 2 15, 11, and 6.

Speaker 1 15, 11, and 6. Then the 15 and 11 are boy, girl?

Speaker 2 A boy, girl, so it goes boy, girl, boy.

Speaker 1 Boy, girl, boy. And how are you liking being a dad? I love it.
You love it?

Speaker 2 I do love it.

Speaker 2 It's the madness that I love. It's when it's at its most catastrophic.
The small stuff irks you, but when it's catastrophic, it's brilliant.

Speaker 2 When those mornings when the wheels so royally come off, that's when I can sit back and go, oh, this is just brilliant.

Speaker 1 Who's the more patient one with all of the, with, with, with, with the chaos? Is it you or her?

Speaker 1 Her. Her.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Chaos I'm fine with, but if it, but manners, like rudeness, I don't tolerate. And that's when I.
Me neither. Yeah.
No, that's, that's what I got. How old are yours now, Jason?

Speaker 1 I got 16 and 11, two girls. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 And I'm totally permissive and the guy that plays around, and I don't don't have to really be the disciplinarian.

Speaker 1 But if it's the rudeness, if it's stuff like that, and I just like the switch gets thrown. Yeah, same.

Speaker 1 Pick and choose my moments.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the chaos is great.

Speaker 1 Yeah, rudeness.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 we've got 14, 12, and then my partner, she's a five-year-old, and then we have an almost three-year-old. Oh, boys.

Speaker 1 Oh, boys.

Speaker 2 No way. Yeah.
You've almost got the hockey team.

Speaker 1 Almost got the team. And it's a fuck.
And it is, sometimes it is absolute, just abject chaos. Like, just.

Speaker 2 How do you like it?

Speaker 1 I love it. The chaos.
It's great. Yeah, I love it.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I just wouldn't have it any other way.

Speaker 1 I embrace it. It's fun.

Speaker 1 Same thing.

Speaker 1 They're all nice kids, and everybody

Speaker 1 has good manners and stuff. That's one of the things.

Speaker 1 But I love it, man. I love it when it just gets absolute.
Sometimes.

Speaker 1 When you get into the witching hour, sort of near bedtime, it gets fucking bonkers.

Speaker 1 yeah how about the complications matthew of the of travel and stuff since you guys are both very active in your careers and your kids are now deeply entrenched in in school and having that sort of social and academic continuity like you can't really pick them up and take them places with you as much as you want i'll bet right how do you guys manage that is it easy or tough

Speaker 2 it is tough i mean we try and live by this ridiculous rule where one of us works one of us doesn't and that you know kids stay at school right but it's it's just that never works out right because like what if somebody gets a great great call and it's uh you just can't say no but this is your turn and yeah

Speaker 2 this is what this is what happened last year and grandma came in and you know the kids ate sugar for six solid months

Speaker 1 they they love they loved it I think that my sort of view on it always is that is that you have this idea of how you want it to go so you say like one of us gonna work one of us not whatever that thing is and you try to set those parameters and you try to get as close to it as you can.

Speaker 1 And you have to be flexible and allow yourself to, you know, that there are going to be moments where it's just pure chaos. Yeah.
And the truth is, kids are so incredibly resilient.

Speaker 1 Like, they don't know any different. You know, I grew up in a house where my mom was a stewardess for Pan Am or flight attendants.
She was gone two weeks of every month. That was just normal to me.

Speaker 1 You know, just had my mom half the time. And that was just normal.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I had my dad.

Speaker 1 Never mind.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 Matthew's going to to love this story.

Speaker 1 No, no, yeah, go. So it starts with a Chevy Pontiac, the engine turning on.
Yeah, and it ends with a peel-out. Yeah, just a peel-out.

Speaker 1 And every real. And a sort of a distant kind of fuck y'all.
Fuck y'all, fuck all y'all.

Speaker 1 John, this isn't true, is it? Yeah, it's true. My dad left five.
Five times. And he left, and he's left his mom to keep an eye on all of them.

Speaker 1 And I stress. His mother has one eye.
And I'd stress an eye. Matthew, it's brilliantly tragic.
Tragic. You have to laugh.
Oh, it's fun.

Speaker 1 We have to do it. We have to laugh at our misfortunes because.

Speaker 1 But wait, I'm going to ask you a weird question only because you're wearing a black t-shirt. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I've seen a lot of photos of you and stuff, like where you seem very, you seem very kind of fat, like you're into fashion when you have to be. Like, I know nothing.
Like, I'm terrible.

Speaker 1 But, like, you're probably like Will. You're probably like Will, where you're like, I like to look good when I even go to the store.
I like to look good when I go out in public.

Speaker 1 Like, is that, it seems like a lot of effort.

Speaker 2 Oh, no, no. If, if you truly knew me, it's, Kelly said the other day, because I have, I have, I have these beaten up car hearts and I wear

Speaker 2 usually just the same black t-shirt every day.

Speaker 1 And even Kelly's like,

Speaker 2 you've got to change. for the school run.
You've worn the same thing for,

Speaker 2 it's now, it's now months. Right.
And my car hearts are really beaten up. And there's, there was this, there was this.

Speaker 1 What's cards?

Speaker 1 Car hearts.

Speaker 2 Sorry.

Speaker 1 It's a brand, clothing brand.

Speaker 2 It's like what are the carpenters, car hearts, yeah. All the carpenters wear them and they're real

Speaker 2 worker guys. And I wear them into the ground because they look so terrible.

Speaker 2 That there was, I was standing in school pickup in the line, and this mother kind of looked at my traverses and she said, What is it you do?

Speaker 1 And I went,

Speaker 1 I went,

Speaker 1 oh,

Speaker 2 I'm actually an actor.

Speaker 1 And she went, oh,

Speaker 1 oh,

Speaker 1 it's like, almost like, why are you wearing cars?

Speaker 2 Why are you masquerading as someone who works for a living?

Speaker 1 Well, you have your uniform. Well, it's like Jason always gets the question when they see him.
They always say, what time's your tea time? Right? Isn't that the question?

Speaker 1 Well, I wear this little outfit. It's clear.

Speaker 1 You know what I do get a lot? You know what I do get a lot is

Speaker 1 do you color your hair? And now recently, because of this film where I'm playing a guy in 1985, they think it's a wig. Just a full-blown wig that I'm wearing.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I'm looking forward to that.

Speaker 1 I mentioned that. No one thinks that my hair is the right, is the real color.

Speaker 1 Because in your 70s, like you are,

Speaker 1 that's not true.

Speaker 1 It's not believable that a 70-year-old would not be.

Speaker 1 I have to admit that there have been, I've had a few people in the last year who have asked me, Jason, if I color my hair. Yeah, same.

Speaker 2 I tell everyone that you color your hair.

Speaker 1 It's your son.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yes.
Son of a bitch.

Speaker 2 It was, it was, yeah. It was during that.
It was during that moment. Do you remember what? Do you remember? I don't know if you remember this.
In the golden globes,

Speaker 2 This sounds perversely pretentious, but it still makes me laugh. That kind of green, the virtual green room, if you remember, is you, me, Bob Odenkirk,

Speaker 2 Josh O'Connor, and then we were all waiting for Al Pacino to kind of pop up. Do you remember into the virtual green room? And we're all waiting, we're all waiting.

Speaker 1 And then he pops up because we're all at home during the pandemic.

Speaker 2 And he looks like a Bond villain because he has like a small dog in his lap.

Speaker 1 And he's stroking it.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 1 And we all sort of say, we all go, hi, hello, hello, hi, hi, hi.

Speaker 2 And then there's silence. And then we cut it into a second round.
We're like going, hello, hi. No, nothing.
And then I think you said, I don't think he can hear us.

Speaker 2 And then Pacino just goes, oh, I can hear you.

Speaker 1 Oh, boy.

Speaker 1 We all went, oh,

Speaker 1 he just doesn't want to do the group high. And then he said, I think he colors his hair.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, this guy? Oh, hair color? Oh, Charlie. Oh,

Speaker 1 hey, so stop Matthew. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Quick question for Jason. Why is the emblem, why is the person holding an umbrella? What is that?

Speaker 1 Oh, this is some silly golf sweater. Mary Poppy.
Oh, yeah, what is that? Yeah, it actually is a Mary Pop. This is a, I believe this is an ATT thing, Willie.
Yeah. From ATT? Yeah, this is one of the.

Speaker 1 From that swag room we went into? Free swag. We have Smartless golf stuff coming out soon.
I love it. Oh, let's take the opportunity to do a merch tie-in, shall we?

Speaker 1 Smarts?

Speaker 1 Matthew, Matthew, can you commit right now to wearing Smartless golf merch on the school run?

Speaker 2 My entire closet is mainly made up of clothes I've stolen from jobs. I don't buy them.

Speaker 1 Well, we're going to send you some smartless golf swags with like some

Speaker 1 plus fours, right? For the

Speaker 1 pants, you know, you can wear that. Yeah.
You know,

Speaker 2 we were listening.

Speaker 2 I do want to say your show gives us so much joy. And we were listening.
Yes, it does. We were listening to it recently.

Speaker 2 And Will, I think you went to dinner with Sean at Jar and you and Sean, you were. I was not invited.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Well, we brought that up in the car.
We were like, that wasn't Jason.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I never am.
These guys have been all over the world together. Oh, my God.
I've never asked.

Speaker 1 I mean, they've been to Turkey. They've been to, where else, guys? Yeah, we have.

Speaker 1 Because your passport's been stamped. We've been to Sivoli, right? We've been to Sibyl.

Speaker 1 You guys play golf every day. Okay, golf.
Oh,

Speaker 1 it's different.

Speaker 2 So you did say that you were wearing UGGS, the kind of slipper Uggs for dinner. Is that right?

Speaker 1 Did I remember that right? Absolutely.

Speaker 2 And I said to Kay, I went, see? Yeah. It's fine.
And she went, they live in L.A.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 She's right. Sean, that was you wearing the comfy shoes.
Yeah, he's been doing it for years. He's doing it for years.
Who looks at your shoes? Nobody looks at your shoes. I would.

Speaker 1 And then I would choose to never come to dinner with you. Cobblers around the world.
Cobblers?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Listen,

Speaker 1 so Matthew, so now recently in the last couple of years, you've partnered with

Speaker 1 our good friend, Mr. Downey Jr.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, Perry Mason. That's an awesome-looking show.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Yes. Talk to us a little bit about that.

Speaker 1 First of all, how that came about and what an absolute terror he is as an executive producer. Oh, this dude.
Oh, my God. I mean,

Speaker 1 Jesse

Speaker 1 yells and screams.

Speaker 2 Oh, what a scream.

Speaker 1 He strikes people. Yes, yes.

Speaker 2 With a glove.

Speaker 2 Has a leather glove, a small gauntlet that he sometimes put a metal thimble in it just for the little,

Speaker 1 yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, Christ, he's here.

Speaker 1 He's here. He speaks so highly of that.
How did that come? How did, yeah, he loves you. Yeah, he does.
He really does. Robert loves you.
And talk to us a little bit about, and Susan as well.

Speaker 1 Susan does not like Susan. Oh, she does.
Well, the great Susan, the brains of that duo.

Speaker 1 The wind beneath the wings and the brain in the head. Yeah.

Speaker 1 How did that come into

Speaker 1 your sort of, into your world, the Perry Mason project?

Speaker 2 I mean, well, I'm trying to think what year it was now because

Speaker 2 it was a while back.

Speaker 1 Probably three, four years ago, maybe?

Speaker 2 yes yes yes yes um and i

Speaker 2 i always and this is what this is how my brain works when when my manager calls and he goes you know team downie want to talk to you about um a reboot of peri mason my first question was like who who's turned it down who's turned it down right why doesn't robert want to do it yes well so that was and i think he did i think that was the whole point that robert was was supposed to do it and and it took them almost 10 years of development and it it went through many very many guises of a TV film, a series, and I just think

Speaker 2 Robert never quite got there.

Speaker 2 So, yeah, they reached out

Speaker 2 for a meeting, which I was terrified about.

Speaker 1 And the brilliant Mr. Van Patten directed that.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it was just a dream movie.

Speaker 1 And by the way, I love that their company is called Team Downey, which is always fun to me. I think that's a great company name.

Speaker 1 I've always been jealous of that. But I don't want Robert to.
I would have called it Touch Downey. Yeah.
Oh, that's good. That's nice.
That'd be good, too. That's funny.

Speaker 1 It's just like I'm looking to rename mine Master Bateman, but it will not, it has not cleared.

Speaker 1 So, Robert, so so team downey, so Team Downey reaches out and you go and you meet with these guys and you're like,

Speaker 1 you're like,

Speaker 1 did you know that it was going to become this group? Like, what was your first thought of it?

Speaker 1 Were you like excited? Were you sort of skeptical? Were you?

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 2 I was slightly skeptical because I have.

Speaker 1 like did you develop it with them or was it a script? Well you're also carrying a bunch of pedigree out of the Americans one the Emmy American

Speaker 1 Brothers and Sisters that you did for five years with our with our old buddy Robbie Bates my old friend

Speaker 2 no no but but I that was never in doubt because you know I think when you saw Team Downey you know

Speaker 2 the writers on it, Tim Van Patten, HBO, it was it kind of it was streaked of I wasn't concerned that it wouldn't wouldn't be of a certain caliber

Speaker 2 If anything, my, you know, it's all usually stems from my own insecurities, what, you know,

Speaker 2 how I can turn it into a catastrophe more than anything else. But I was very excited.
I loved it. It was pitched as a one-off.

Speaker 2 And they were like, look, we just want to do the origin story and that'll be it. And then, you know, halfway through, they were like, you know,

Speaker 2 it works pretty good. It looks good.

Speaker 2 We should think about doing this. a little you know we should think about doing more of this i do i did have that small reservation where i've done where i've kind of

Speaker 2 you know, Perry Mason is so revered. Well, it was in the UK.
It was huge.

Speaker 2 And here also, there is a certain generation of an age group up that kind of go, no, no, no, you can't touch Mason. You know,

Speaker 2 you have to leave that alone.

Speaker 1 And then a ton of people have no recollection of the show whatsoever.

Speaker 2 And that's what Susan said. She said, look,

Speaker 2 there's an entire, there are swathes of generations ready for a new Perry Mason.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we can do it. We can make him whatever we want.
And

Speaker 1 where did you guys shoot that?

Speaker 2 In LA. They went back to the origin story in the books, which was 1930s LA, which to me was, you know, with Chinatown and everything else was such, was so alluring.

Speaker 2 And, and, and as a kid growing up watching old movies, I was like, oh my God, I get to wear a fedora.

Speaker 1 And you do an American accent? Yeah, yeah. You get to wear a fedora in LA like everybody else in Venice, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or Los Felis. Yeah.
As an actor, is the American accent a tough thing to do? And

Speaker 1 do you have like a phrase that clicks you right into the typical American sound that's sort of like a shortcut for you?

Speaker 2 No, there's no real shortcut.

Speaker 2 It's still a huge, it's like a, I say block.

Speaker 1 Like hamburger.

Speaker 2 I'll tell you what, well, yeah, well, I tell you what, killer.

Speaker 2 I went up to one of the writers early on in

Speaker 2 Perry Mason. I said, is there any chance we can change like murderer to killer?

Speaker 2 And he's like, you do realize you've signed on for Perry Mason.

Speaker 2 Like you're going to be saying murderer a lot. And I was like, yeah, I hadn't quite thought that one through.
It's a bit of an Achilles heel for me.

Speaker 2 That one always sounds like I'm a tough word to say. Yeah, like your batteries run out halfway through.
You just go, murderer.

Speaker 1 Murderer. Murderer.

Speaker 1 I was like, can you say killer?

Speaker 2 What about suspect? Suspect would be great.

Speaker 1 Right, because the British accent would put an A-H on it, murderer. Yeah.
Murderer. Murderer.
Murderer. Yeah.
Murderer.

Speaker 1 By the way, if you're going to live in America, you got to learn how to say murderer. I mean,

Speaker 1 sorry.

Speaker 1 That's probably the thing you're going to say the most. Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, now, so now you've got the second season of Perry Mason coming out, which is fantastic, which you never thought you'd do. No.

Speaker 1 And that was delayed a bit, yeah? With

Speaker 2 COVID, perhaps hugely delayed because Susan to a detriment went, no, we're going to wait.

Speaker 2 We're not going to shrink the show and make a smaller show of the first one. We'll wait until we can make the same big show with hundreds of supporting artists and do it right.

Speaker 1 Right, because there's a lot of background players in a lot of crowd scenes. It's a massive production.

Speaker 2 Oh my, it's a beast.

Speaker 2 There are those days I turn up on set and I go, I don't even know how this works.

Speaker 2 My brother-in-law was a tank commander in the British Army

Speaker 1 for most of his life.

Speaker 2 And he said, It's all like, if you think about the logistics they have to do, it's insane. But he came on set one day and he went, How does this work?

Speaker 2 He was just so shocked. He goes, what amazes me, he said, what amazes me is that so many components have to come together in one tiny moment and be quiet.

Speaker 1 He said it was,

Speaker 2 it sort of staggered, it staggered him.

Speaker 1 He's like, he was like amazed at the call sheets and everything. It is.
It's true.

Speaker 1 When you go to a big film television set and you watch all these people who are at the top of their game and they're seeing it, like you said, come together in that moment where everybody's got to be silent and everything's got to be great.

Speaker 1 And you see it pulled off. Sometimes it has the timing of something that has to happen in the shot.

Speaker 2 Whatever it is, it is pretty amazing to watch how good these people are at what they do yeah and filming filming in new york which we obviously did the american yeah it's it's staggering that they get away with what they do in the kind of like location department should be given flack jackets these days for the amount of the amount of abuse they just get from people who wanted to park drive down the street or you know enter a show but how many times have you had that when you're shooting in new york on the street and then somebody it's like pretty good and then like somewhere in the tank you just hear somebody out leaning out a window going i I want to be in the fucking movie.

Speaker 1 All the time.

Speaker 2 If it says exterior night in the Americans, you know you're looping it. You know you're ADRing it because you know there's someone shouting along the line.

Speaker 2 There was this one time in Harlem, I was doing a scene, and it was like eight guys, because I had to shout the scene. Eight guys were shouting the exact same words along with me.

Speaker 1 Because they've heard it so many times. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Matthew, we have taken up so much of your time. My God.
Yeah, just what we could talk to you. You've been a treat.
every yeah yeah

Speaker 1 conversation you're one of us you're one of us you are one of us this has been a real treat sean i can't wait to see the show we're all coming to see it we're very excited about it oh that's so nice thank you how are previews going really well really exhausting but thank you for asking i walked down the street one day uh today walked down the street to go get my little sandwich my egg sandwich anaka roll and a kaiser roll and this woman this woman stopped me she was really sweet but this is how much energy was in her voice she grabbed my arm she goes i saw your show last night.

Speaker 1 I go, yeah? Thank you for coming. She goes, it was really good.
And she's just like, fucking,

Speaker 1 I love New York.

Speaker 1 Undefeated. And that's it.
I was like,

Speaker 2 last time I did a play,

Speaker 2 I was walking from the theater, and this woman just shouted, You're an asshole.

Speaker 1 And I just went, I hope you saw the show.

Speaker 1 That's not personal.

Speaker 1 Matthew, well, when we come to New York, I hope that we can grab grab a meal. You, me, and Carrie, and maybe one of these ding-dongs as well.
It'd be great. Let's go.
Yes, please.

Speaker 1 Get Sean and Scotty and JB, and we'll do it up. It'll be great to see you, man.

Speaker 2 Thank you for having me.

Speaker 1 This has been such a treat. It's such a ton.
And send all of our love to Carrie.

Speaker 1 We adore her as well. And we adore you.
You are, as Sean said, you're one of us. It's been such a pleasure, buddy.
Continued success. Perry Mason comes out.
What's the release?

Speaker 2 It's out now.

Speaker 2 Monday nights at nine. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Monday nights at nine. There we go.
HBO Max. Yeah.
HBO Max. Congratulations, Snowflake.
Yeah, congratulations to all the success, buddy.

Speaker 2 Thank you, guys. Thanks, Amelia.
Thanks for being here, buddy.

Speaker 1 Have a good day. See you soon.
Bye-bye. Bye.
And you slam it shut.

Speaker 1 No, there's a nice guy. Well, what's a nice guy like that?

Speaker 1 How is he friends with you?

Speaker 1 Because that's the kind of ilka of people that I attract. You know what I mean? It's just like-minded people, birds of a feather, cool dude.
He's charming. He knows how to carry on a conversation.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know. I'm always impressed with guys like that who are just so relaxed.

Speaker 1 Well, he's confident.

Speaker 1 He's comfortable. He's got his uniform.
He's got his black t-shirt.

Speaker 1 You guys, he doesn't have an axe to grind. You know what I mean? He doesn't have something to prove all the time.
He doesn't have anything with his fun tops that he wears, Sean. I'm a fun top.

Speaker 1 Now, listen. I know you are.

Speaker 1 Speaking of which, where's the cocaine bear? What's he fixing now? Huh? He's fixing something. Scotty, what are you making?

Speaker 1 What kind of sandwich?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 you had a Turk sandwich. Oh, a Turk sandwich.
Wait, wait, what else?

Speaker 1 What percentage of the day when you're sandwiching? What percentage of the day? Hang on. What percentage of the day when you yell out, hey, Scotty, what are you doing?

Speaker 1 Is the answer, I'm making a sandwich?

Speaker 1 Well, usually it's for me.

Speaker 1 Making Sammy's. That's what I mean.
So what do we got on the turkey? How do you like your turkey sandwich, Sun, Sean? I ordered one yesterday. I had one yesterday for lunch.

Speaker 1 It was a turkey, avocado, lettuce, and extra, extra, extra mayo. Oh,

Speaker 1 and are we toasting the bread? No.

Speaker 1 Really? How about a light toast with a little snack? It's like a real soft thing there. Extra.
Do you literally say extra, extra, extra mayo? Yes, I always do because they never put enough.

Speaker 1 You know what I like? I like it when you get one of those like a sort of like an Italian, you know what I mean, with different cuts of meat, some cold cuts, lettuce, tomato, and kibbutz.

Speaker 1 She puts it into the Brooklyn. Some oil and vinegar, get a little salt and pepper.
Stuff it in there. Stuff it in there.
By the way, it reminds me of the same about wearing the hats all around.

Speaker 1 Remember Thoreau went through a long phase. He was always wearing like hats and little pork pie hats and fedoras and stuff.
And I remember Polar, Pohler said to him one day, you look fedorable. And

Speaker 1 it just

Speaker 1 really killed us. Yeah.
Hey, what kind of hat do I have on today? You got one of the smartless merch hats. That's right.
Wait, where do we get one of those? Sorry to interrupt, guys.

Speaker 1 It looks like Carrie Russell's entering the waiting room. She might just want to say hi.
You want to just pop on her? Put her on. Put her on.
Put Carrie on. We're going to air it.

Speaker 1 There she is.

Speaker 1 If you can hear us, hello. We'll have to have her on.

Speaker 1 I will tell the boys they can't hear you right now because they're on the other system.

Speaker 1 You were fantastic. Thank you.
Bye. Okay, thanks for everything.
Really appreciate it. Well done.

Speaker 1 I love that we just had a quick visual visit from Carrie Russell and Anne.

Speaker 1 We couldn't hear her, but we got to see her and she was there. She's probably with the kids, right, Sean? Yeah, she was there.
Yeah, she probably would. It's about time for pickup.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's probably time. Or for nap time for her kids, which she would then sing.

Speaker 1 What would she sing to them if she was going to put her kids to bed? She would probably sing like rocky

Speaker 1 jason hates when we go up

Speaker 1 he just he just pinches that voice off

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