"Keanu Reeves"

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Listen, for storytellers like us who are creating content.

Speaker 4 No, but just hear me out. As a content creating storyteller.

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Speaker 4 Speaking of loads.

Speaker 4 Wait, really quick. I just want to talk about this because it's been in the news for several weeks.
And I'm obsessed with the UFOs that they're shooting down. And

Speaker 4 today I was watching the news. And it's funny how they're kind of skirting around it.

Speaker 4 Like it has to be alien stuff, right? It can't be

Speaker 4 Sean probably. No,

Speaker 4 but it can't just be whether it's.

Speaker 6 Tell Scotty he can stop painting his face.

Speaker 4 There's not going to be a big, a big thing. He can foil out of the windows.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 I think it's just, it's a different kind of balloon they're flying, a different kind of surveillance device.

Speaker 4 No, I think so. They said it's not surveillance or anything.

Speaker 6 No?

Speaker 4 Somebody pointed out that if aliens sent these craft over here from wherever the hell, they wouldn't be easily downed by our dumb weapons. You never know.
Missiles. You never know.

Speaker 4 They may be dumb too.

Speaker 6 They might be dumb too.

Speaker 4 But anyway, you know who isn't dumb?

Speaker 4 Our guest today has quite the stellar and sparkly reputation.

Speaker 4 Oh, I thought this was Willie's guest. This is yours? This is mine.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 Sean's. There it is, right there.

Speaker 4 You guys are going to crap yourself. This is so fun.
Really? Yeah, I can't believe we get to talk to this fella.

Speaker 4 I might get a little starstruck not just because he's celebrated here in the United States, guys, but he's very much celebrated internationally, too.

Speaker 4 Really? By the way, he's not even American. Many fans may not realize he was once cast as a James Dean type type and a Rebel Without a Cause type adaptation, which I'm obsessed with.

Speaker 4 I'm the first thing I'm going to talk to him about. And word on the street is there's no one nicer in Hollywood.
His first name in Hawaiian means cool breeze over the mountains.

Speaker 4 Guys, it's the legendary Keanu Reeves. No.
Cool breeze over the mountains? Really?

Speaker 4 Wait. I didn't know that.

Speaker 4 This just picked my mood up. A lot.
Are you in a hotel room right now? I am. I'm at the Four Seasons in West Hollywood.

Speaker 6 We're not paying for that.

Speaker 4 We're not paying for that. No.
No, I'm doing some John Wick chapter four press for a film that I can't wait to talk about it.

Speaker 6 You put this into your junket schedule. That is a very nice thing to do because

Speaker 4 that's a haul doing that stuff.

Speaker 4 Come on.

Speaker 4 You're tired and you've been doing lots of press and then you got to talk to us idiots. No.
This is so cool.

Speaker 6 Okay, we're going to up our game. We're going to up our game because what do you got? A couple of round tables after this or you got.

Speaker 4 No, I'm good, man. I'm good.
Yeah. All right.

Speaker 4 Dude, great to meet you, man. Yeah.
Cheers. Cheers.
Been such a huge fan for so long. I can't.
It's so nice to meet you. Yeah, this is so cool for us.
So, Keanu, let me ask you something

Speaker 4 because we, as a Canadian, we always claim you as a Canadian.

Speaker 4 What's your Canadian status? Really?

Speaker 4 But wait, let me just jump in with that. Beirut.
Born in Beirut. Born in Beirut.
Canada. Chinese, Hawaiian, European.

Speaker 4 Do you want him to answer it? I mean, you can tell me. I mean, I can just look up his Wikipedia and show off that he did research.
Yeah, the story of my past is obviously the story of my mother.

Speaker 4 And so she ran away from home when she was like 15.

Speaker 4 And she ended up going to Beirut, Lebanon.

Speaker 4 And as you do, she was born in England. And she met a guy, and they had a kid, and that's me.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 And then it's a long story, but my sounds romantic.

Speaker 4 It does.

Speaker 4 There's a bit of adventure in their journey.

Speaker 4 And then my

Speaker 4 father had a stepfather who was Canadian, and then there's a bunch of stuff that happened. But long story short,

Speaker 4 me and my sister and my mom ended up moving into a house in Canada.

Speaker 4 And so that's how I became Canadian when I was like seven or seven years old. Did you, so did you go to

Speaker 4 school, a lot of school in Canada, in Toronto? Well, I went to, I was raised in Toronto, and

Speaker 4 I went to Jesse Ketchum. Did you really? Yeah, do you know it? Fuck yeah, I do, man.
Please he will. Of course, look how excited.

Speaker 6 Now he's out.

Speaker 4 I graduated from Leaside High School. Leaside? Yeah.
Yeah,

Speaker 4 the two high schools that were, our grade school fed,

Speaker 4 what the fuck were they called? Northern and Northern.

Speaker 4 North Toronto.

Speaker 4 I went to MT. I went to North Toronto for one year.
You did? Yeah, I went to North Toronto for one year. And I'm trying to remember the other school.
Jarvis. Hey, Jarvis.

Speaker 4 So my sisters went to Jarvis, and my nephew is graduating from North Toronto this year. Well, congratulations.
Thank you. And congratulations to you.
Is that right, A?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 6 So are you a Maple Leaves fan as well?

Speaker 4 I was. I was.
I played a lot of ice hockey as a kid. Yeah.
And

Speaker 4 so, yeah, I played a lot of hockey. I played a lot of hockey.

Speaker 6 No more.

Speaker 6 You don't play in one of these Hollywood leagues or teams?

Speaker 4 No, I never got into the Hollywood leagues. I played a lot when I got here.
I mean, I played in some leagues in Los Angeles, and I discovered that you could play pickup hockey basically every day.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Really?

Speaker 4 And so I played a lot of that. And I'm a goalie.

Speaker 6 So is Will. Oh, my God, Will.
Take it.

Speaker 4 So is I.

Speaker 4 I played goal at North Toronto at the rink there at North Toronto, right? Nice rink? Yeah,

Speaker 4 great rink. Nice.
By the way, you should be noted. I got an email today from somebody I know here in LA saying, hey, do you want to go and play

Speaker 4 pickup? They call it pickup hockey. Of course, we call it shiny, but do you want to go and play some pickup hockey in this league? And I said, man, I just wrote back like two hours ago.

Speaker 4 I was like, I'm too old, man.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 6 No, but

Speaker 4 what if they're old too?

Speaker 6 And everyone takes it easy in the corners. Everyone's old.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but you know, and then you end up, you fall or you take a bad hit, and then you're like, what the hell am I doing? What am I doing out of here? What am I doing out here?

Speaker 4 I went to four different high schools in Toronto. So I went to North Toronto for two years, and then I went to a performing arts high school, got kicked out of that.
Sure. Really? Then

Speaker 4 I went to De La Salle on Avenue Road. Dude.

Speaker 4 Dude,

Speaker 4 De La Salle's on Farnham, and I grew up on Farnham. What?

Speaker 4 I grew up 100 yards from De La Salle. What?

Speaker 6 You guys probably walked by each other a million times. You're both the same.

Speaker 4 How old are you? How old are you? I'm 52. I'm 58.
So, okay.

Speaker 4 You were probably walking along the street there when I was like a punk kid.

Speaker 4 That's amazing.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's wild.

Speaker 6 And then there's a Hawaii in there? No.

Speaker 4 Oh, I'm sorry. Yes.
My father was Hawaiian. So

Speaker 4 he grew up in Hawaii, and then he got into some trouble. And so he ended up

Speaker 4 going to Lebanon, too. And that's where he and my mom met.
Where did your mom go before Beirut? Where was she?

Speaker 4 She was born in England and she went to Paris. Wow.
She was interested in fashion and design. And so I think she worked at a fashion house at Telier.
So you guys just moved around constantly.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah. Even in Toronto.
There's a lot of, I got a lot of gypsy in my story.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you got a lot of good stuff cursing through you. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Now,

Speaker 6 is your sister in the arts?

Speaker 4 She's in the equestrian arts. Okay.
Whoa. Or she was in the arts.
Yeah. So she was into horses, training horses, riding, could do anything, everything on a horse.
And that was her deal.

Speaker 4 And so my husband, Scotty, he is an army brat.

Speaker 4 He moved 17 times before he was like, you know, 20 or something like that. Wow.
And but moving around made him want to desire to be stable in one place and never move again. Are you like that?

Speaker 4 Or did that upbringing make you feel you like, are you drawn to like different experiences all the time

Speaker 4 hmm

Speaker 4 i think both oh if you can be both i mean i think you can i mean i love traveling i love new experiences i mean i think you know with the arts that we're in you know if it works out you get a chance to travel around and yeah you know meet folks and and um so i love that experience but it's also important i mean i love I love a good couch, a little home.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you know, yeah, good God. And

Speaker 4 then, of course, then the itch starts.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 And then it's a fever, and then you're distracted.

Speaker 6 How long are you good on the couch without any work or without any work that you know is coming up? Because that's just

Speaker 4 measuring. You just want to measure it.

Speaker 6 It's like if you know work's coming up, like you have a start date on something, I can sit on my couch for six months. But if I don't know anything's coming,

Speaker 6 I'm about two weeks.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah, you're an unemployed. I call it the working on working.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 You know, it really depends on what the journey you had before you're unemployed. Right.
Right.

Speaker 4 You know, like if you, you know, if you have like, if you, if you've been working and it's been really intense for five or six months, you know, you come out of that,

Speaker 4 you know, you might not be thinking about being unemployed and working on working for a day or two, but

Speaker 4 two months.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you don't, you don't do, you, you do jobs that they, they shoot a lot of nights. There's a lot of action.

Speaker 6 There's weapons.

Speaker 4 You know what I mean?

Speaker 6 You don't have easy days on your movies. No rom-coms for you.

Speaker 4 No, I like a good rom-com. I got to work with Allie Wong.
I did a couple of days on an Allie Wong show.

Speaker 4 She's amazing.

Speaker 4 But no, I've had the fortune to do some pretty

Speaker 4 some pretty epic shooting. Like, I mean, working on Matrix 2 and 3 was 22 months.
Wow. Oh, my God.

Speaker 6 And all the John Wicks are like, that ain't no phone in.

Speaker 4 No, there's no phones.

Speaker 4 I remember seeing that first John Wick. Well, first of all, I mean,

Speaker 4 now that you've opened it, you open up the World War II. Yeah, I had a bunch before that.

Speaker 4 Well, okay, well, everybody's got a bunch. I've got John.
Jesus, why are you arguing with me? I want to talk about Jesus.

Speaker 6 And he's tired. He's not going to deal with that one.

Speaker 4 I'm really tired. And so I remember being in New York

Speaker 4 1998 when Matrix came out, I want to say. And I know that.
I know, because I have a weird thing with dates. And was, I couldn't have been more blown away.

Speaker 4 I had no preconceived notion because we weren't inundated at that time all the time with the phones and stuff of leading up to stuff.

Speaker 4 So you could kind of go into a movie clean and just for what it was. Fuck, man, that was such a game changer for me, that movie.

Speaker 4 Did you know while you were filming it with the effects and all of the stuff that it was a game changer?

Speaker 4 I mean, you never know while you're making something, but I knew what the Wachowskis, the directors, I knew their vision was extraordinary. I knew the script was extraordinary and the cast.

Speaker 4 And then once it got all put together, I mean, I think of that film as a perfect film. Yeah.
It's amazing.

Speaker 4 And it is like for me, too, watching that film because I hadn't seen him with the visual effects and all of that, just like.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 that's great. I remember, Kiana, my oldest son is 14, and I remember just within the last couple of years, the moment of like when I was like, we're going to watch The Matrix, man.

Speaker 4 And he's like, I go, we're just going to, we're going to watch that, because I wanted him to have the experience that I had.

Speaker 6 But, you know, but you've always been in the greatest sense of the word, and I don't have a better word than this, but a real director snob, like in the way that like you, you don't work in Keanu Reeves vehicles.

Speaker 6 You work in director vehicles.

Speaker 6 It seems like to me, like you really appreciate someone who's got a real plan, a real vision, and you kind of work to service that as opposed to, yeah, I want to be the star and let's just find any director that'll do.

Speaker 6 Is that is that?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, I that's kind of you to say. I have

Speaker 4 obviously, as you guys know, I mean, you want a director with a vision. And I've had the chance to work with some directors who have been able to realize their vision in such extraordinary ways.
And

Speaker 4 so to be on those sets, to be working with those artists

Speaker 4 is the best, man. You know, you know, Kennedy,

Speaker 4 it seems to me that you have

Speaker 4 the choices that you have seemed to make all the way through a very long career. You have done so much different stuff.

Speaker 4 You know, certain people, you could see them, they get sort of into a theme thematically throughout their career. You can see this sort of through line.
You've done stuff.

Speaker 4 You have just zigged and zagged and consistently done different stuff. And maybe that's, I don't know, maybe now I'm going to draw the line back to like your upbringing, sort of moving around a lot.

Speaker 4 Like you like new experience, new stuff. You've done period stuff.
You've done the action stuff. I'm thinking of speed with Sandy and or, you know, and

Speaker 4 then he can't pigeonhole you. It's

Speaker 4 action adventure. Bill and Ted's.
I'm private Idaho.

Speaker 4 Dude, it's fucking.

Speaker 4 First of all, Bill and Ted's. Yeah.
Excellent adventure. I mean, that was a game changer.
One of the most quotable movies. I mean, I was a teenager.
I was 18 or something when it came out.

Speaker 4 We were fucking dying.

Speaker 4 We watched it a million times. But yeah, so you start and you do all these different things.

Speaker 4 And it seems like do you have like a thirst? for that. It kind of goes into like taking jobs for the right reasons, right?

Speaker 4 Like, is that something that are you constantly being like, yeah, I want to do something that I haven't thought of or that's scary or that's.

Speaker 4 Yeah, for sure. I mean, growing up is, you know, I always wanted to do as many different things as I could.
You know, that's the hope, right?

Speaker 4 And I find that, you know, oftentimes lead roles have certain expectations on them and whether in any genre,

Speaker 4 you know, and then there's also times we're working in independent or being, you know, in supporting roles, you get to kind of do some interesting kind of nooks and crannies and

Speaker 4 have different voices different tones and tell stories in different ways so that if you have the fortune you know if you have the opportunity to do a studio film or and then an independent film or something like that then uh it's the cinema you know getting a chance to to play and again just tell different stories and

Speaker 4 different roles and try and do that By the way, I don't know if anybody ever brings this up, but Dracula is one of my favorite movies of all time.

Speaker 4 I think Dracula, I mean, I don't know, I got kicked in the teeth, and maybe deservedly so for my English accent, but they made anyway.

Speaker 4 No, one of my favorites. One of my favorite movies.
But I think,

Speaker 4 but my English accent aside, I think that's a wonderful film. And I think

Speaker 4 Francis Ford Coppola made a work of art that was maybe a little ahead of its time. Yeah, it was amazing.
I mean, the performance, Gary Oldman. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 Amazing. Good.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 6 Do you remind your team constantly to sort of find really interesting things as opposed to super lucrative things or star vehicles or things like that?

Speaker 4 Or can you take

Speaker 6 responsibility for that? Because it just seems like everything you do is always interesting and it's never down the middle.

Speaker 4 It's very kind of you to say. It's true.

Speaker 6 And I'll bet you get

Speaker 6 a lot of offers to do things that would be a lot easier, a lot more predictable, a lot safer, a lot more lucrative, perhaps.

Speaker 6 And so has it been the same team forever and they just kind of know what makes you tick?

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's the representation story has

Speaker 4 been pretty consistent with the people I've worked with over the years, but that's changed over the years as well. But I think, at least for me personally, it's always

Speaker 4 been like kind of what I was talking about. Like, how can we have a variety? What's the filmmaker? Where's it being made? What's and again,

Speaker 4 what's the script? What's the story? Yeah. What's the role? Right.

Speaker 4 We'll be right back.

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Speaker 4 And now, back to the show.

Speaker 4 But first of all, where'd you get the bug to do it? Because when you were in Toronto.

Speaker 4 Why are we artists?

Speaker 4 The unlicked cubs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
Yeah. Because

Speaker 4 when you're in Toronto,

Speaker 4 when people, people like you that just transcend, you know, whatever,

Speaker 4 we just said it a million times, how incredible your career is.

Speaker 4 Is it something that finds you or you find it and why?

Speaker 4 I kind of grew up in a showbiz background. My mother was a costume designer.
I had a stepfather who was, you know, at the time was, you know, I just finished directing some plays on Broadway

Speaker 4 when I was a little bean. And

Speaker 4 then growing up,

Speaker 4 yeah, my mother says that I came to her when I was 15 and asked if it was okay if I'm an actor.

Speaker 4 At 15. At 15.
And she said, yes, of course, son, whatever you want to do.

Speaker 4 And then I started, so I was pretty self-motivated and enrolled in

Speaker 4 a theater arts program, which will, you know, you might even know the, it was up by North Toronto, Leah Poslin's Theater Group. I don't know if you ever came across that, but

Speaker 4 there was a wonderful person there named Rose Dubin. But anyway, so I was super self-motivated.

Speaker 4 You know, I auditioned for the performing arts high school and I was at the library, I was reading, I was just, you know, taking acting classes, Udahagan, respect for acting. I'm 17,

Speaker 4 you know, doing the Stanislavski,

Speaker 4 the voice work.

Speaker 4 I ended up getting an agent

Speaker 4 at Leah Pauslin's because I was playing Mercutio and Romeo and Juliet.

Speaker 4 And so I guess that was my first big break. Oh, that's cool.
And you're like, this tastes pretty great. Yeah, I got an agent.
I started doing some commercials, sold some cornflakes and some Coca-Cola.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 you drove all the way out here by yourself from Toronto, and you're still not an American citizen, which I think is kind of cool. Well, I guess.
It's cool and not cool.

Speaker 4 You know, I got in my first car when I was 20, and I drove to Hollywood. And,

Speaker 4 of course, when I got here, they wanted to change my name.

Speaker 4 Really?

Speaker 4 Yeah, they were like, Keanu, it's too ethnic.

Speaker 4 I mean, literally, like the day I arrived.

Speaker 4 I mean, I remember I had driven across the country and I remember they told me I was like stomping up and down along the beach in Santa Monica, going, What the fuck?

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah, you know, and then I was like, Okay, well, what's my name gonna be? And I was like, Templeton, or like anyway, did they pitch you any names, or did they ask you to go think up some?

Speaker 4 Yeah, so eventually, I came up with my first and middle initial, so I was Casey Reeves.

Speaker 4 No way, no way for a couple of

Speaker 4 that would work, yeah, that would be good.

Speaker 4 Oh, my God, please,

Speaker 4 but then You'd be a great Casey. No, man.
But then I had like auditions, and they'd be like, Casey, and I wouldn't even look up.

Speaker 4 And eventually I went back to my agents and I was like, I can't change my name.

Speaker 4 Like, one of the first play agents,

Speaker 4 first play I ever did was

Speaker 4 I was playing John Proctor. And one of the lines is just like, you know, because it is my name, because I can have no other.
And I was

Speaker 4 the crucible.

Speaker 4 I was in the crucible. And

Speaker 4 I just, that was just running through my head, you know.

Speaker 4 And so with Ted,

Speaker 4 was Bill and Ted's the one thing that really like, how did that come to you? And that, because that kind of put you on the map for us to know who you are. Right? Yeah.

Speaker 4 I think for me, probably, you know, the biggest, another big break that we all need is I was in a film called River's Edge. Oh, my God.
Oh, right, right, right, right, right, of course.

Speaker 4 With Crispin Glover. With the amazing, beautiful Crispin Glover.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, that movie.
What would I do for my fucking friends?

Speaker 4 And to watch that artist work, you know, talk about being and seeing an artist kind of deal with what the expectation of a role could be or how you could even act, how you could even be in a scene.

Speaker 4 You know, for me, it was a revelation.

Speaker 6 So he was doing it completely differently than what you thought it was going to be just reading the script, yeah?

Speaker 4 I think everybody's standing there in the room.

Speaker 4 I mean, it was just, but

Speaker 4 he had the essence of what the role was. Yeah.
And he had his unique voice on it, which I think we all do, right?

Speaker 4 We all have our own voice, but the way that he was performing and understanding the form of acting too, the way that he understood the camera, the way he understood choreography, and where he would go with his voice, the choices that he would make

Speaker 4 was something to me that was revelatory.

Speaker 6 I do love that part of what we do. You know, like the audience doesn't read the script before they see the movie, so they have no prepared emotions.

Speaker 6 So they get what they get and they don't get upset unless somebody sucks. And, you know, like usually people don't suck, you know, for people that are taking these big swings.

Speaker 6 And you just kind of, but I bet if these, if, if the audience would think for one second, like, if you read all these lines on a page, would you imagine this kind of performance?

Speaker 6 And nine times out of 10, the answer would be no. That's what everybody on the set is dealing with.
So,

Speaker 6 the instinct is to criticize it and say, Oh, no, that you can't play the character like that.

Speaker 6 You know, a director will come up and say, Hey, easy with that, and let's go over here and take the character this direction, you know.

Speaker 6 But the audience is never going to do that.

Speaker 6 So, if an actor just needs to push back just a little bit and say, Well, hang on, I'm still going to get us there, but it might be a little wiggly through here. Like, just let me do that.

Speaker 6 Let me play it like this.

Speaker 4 And with that, you get, you know, so many artists, but you know, you get like Christopher Walking. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 You can't write that. You just, that's performance, and you, you can't give it a false negative because it sounds and looks different than what you imagined.

Speaker 4 Do you remember? Do you remember Crispin Glover in Wild at Heart? And he's, he's in the, he's plays the, he's got all those flashback scenes, and he's the guy who's got, he's like, he's got, um,

Speaker 4 he's got cockroaches in his underwear, and they, and, and he's cutting bread. He's cutting bread.
I love Wild at Heart. It's one of my favorite movies.
You just hear, I forget his character's name.

Speaker 4 They're like, what are you doing? And he's cutting. He goes, I'm making my lunch.

Speaker 4 And he's just in this underwear stuffed with, and you're like, what a wild choice. And you just know that David Lynch gave him a ton of room.
But Kiano, like, you know, not that there isn't art and

Speaker 4 challenges in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and the sequel and speed and all of these things.

Speaker 4 They are, you know, what people call, you know, popcorn movies, but they're just as difficult of roles and movies to make.

Speaker 4 Were you, did you have any kind of trepidation from going, to being so trained to going into these kinds of things and worrying about the perception of them?

Speaker 4 At the time,

Speaker 4 no, man, I was trying to work. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Speaker 4 For sure. And I, you know, and I loved, like, for the script of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure,

Speaker 4 the audition process for that film is almost legendary. I mean, I think everybody read for that.
And it was. Oh, really? But I got to meet Alex Winter

Speaker 4 at that time. And

Speaker 4 we just had one of those things where you're like, you're both in the waiting room to go audition. And you're like, hey, hey.
And then we started talking.

Speaker 4 And he's like, yeah, I ride bike because I'm a helmet. I go, I ride.

Speaker 4 And he's like, yeah, well, and then he's like, I went to NYU film school and he started talking about movies and like, and then we were working on the, we started the audition and, you know, with those, with those roles, he and I both kind of both independently came to the idea of comedia del Arte and the physicality of these kind of classical comedia characters.

Speaker 4 And so like there was Bill and there was Ted. And so how would you, what was the physicalness? How did they play off of each other in a kind of punch and judy kind of way? But like,

Speaker 4 and so we had a, we had an instant kind of vernacular and a way to approach these roles that, that was really exciting and, and hilarious. Yeah.
It was just so much fun to play those.

Speaker 4 And that was something that you guys, first of all, written by the, by the great Ed Solomon, too, right? I mean, great,

Speaker 4 great writer. Chris Matheson.
Yeah, just so, and was that,

Speaker 4 once you guys kind of keyed into that,

Speaker 4 you know, like you said, there were so many people auditioning for it. Was it just like you hated? And George Carlin, and then you have George Carlin watching.

Speaker 4 Oh, George Carlin, I forgot that Carlin was in that, too. What was that like, man? Man, he was so nice.
He was super low-key. He and Alex would go talk politics and do all of those things.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 One of my, I mean, he was so lovely. I remember he.

Speaker 4 He's one of the few people I've asked for an autograph and he and I was like, sir, can I have an autograph? And he was like, sure. And he wrote, Keanu, fuck you.

Speaker 4 And then I was like, Oh my god, George has said that to me. I was like, Cool.
And I took it so personally. And then I found out down the years that he would actually write that to other people.

Speaker 4 It wasn't special.

Speaker 4 But it's special that you did that, man. Is there somebody that you got over your years other than George or these people that you were just completely blown away, starstruck by?

Speaker 4 Gosh, so many. So many.
So many. I mean,

Speaker 4 asked for an autograph from Lou Reed for a friend.

Speaker 4 Sure. For a friend.
And he was just like, shoot.

Speaker 4 And then he kind of scribbled it. I think I needed to.
Carved it into your hand.

Speaker 4 Some pathetic piece of paper.

Speaker 4 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Dude,

Speaker 4 what do you think about it?

Speaker 4 It seems like, man, again, I just love, you've just had such an interesting, like, really, really

Speaker 4 unique trajectory in longevity. And then it seems like the last couple of years, people,

Speaker 4 I feel like every five years, people re-appreciate you. Like a new group of people are like, oh my God, Keanu Reeves.
And the last couple of years, it's true.

Speaker 4 And people go like, and then you've just become this thing in the last couple of years. Like everybody has recognized, and it's obviously because of a lifetime of being a good guy.

Speaker 4 People are starting to really recognize that about you. And you've kind of crossed over.
And I don't mean to embarrass you into this kind of weird

Speaker 4 look man whether you like it or not and you can you can avert your eyes so you don't have to look at me when I say this you've been a sex symbol for a long time none of us have that

Speaker 4 have that weight and now welcome to the club yeah

Speaker 4 and then you've kind of gone and so you're like an actor and a sex symbol and then you've kind of you've now gone into this kind of like iconic

Speaker 4 status like with culturally. No, I mean, by the way, you're 58.
I know. I'm not coming on you.
You look great for 58.

Speaker 6 He is actually a great match for you, though, Will. I mean, think about

Speaker 4 his passions. We would be a great match for you.
If either of us were gay, we'd be perfect for each other.

Speaker 4 But

Speaker 4 it must be kind of a bit of a trip because you're like, I'm still me,

Speaker 4 and you haven't done anything different. You get up every morning and have your coffee the same way, and then all of a sudden, right? Has it been kind of trippy in a way?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, I think all of us have kind of had the experience of the before and the now

Speaker 4 with

Speaker 4 communication.

Speaker 4 And so I think,

Speaker 4 you know,

Speaker 4 certainly now, in a now, you know, to your point, Will, I mean, I think right now I'm as, you know, nice is nice and can be super nice. And I'm really grateful for it.

Speaker 4 I do know that that is fickle. Yeah, yeah.
But yeah. But,

Speaker 4 you know, I think, you know, memes and stuff like that, you know, I remember the first time someone showed me sad Keanu

Speaker 4 and I was like, what is this?

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah. You know, I was used to paparazzi photos, but I wasn't used to a paparazzi.
You know, I could see how, like, you know,

Speaker 4 I was used to tabloid communication, right? Right. Yeah.
Right. And so this became, that was the before, and now the now is something else.

Speaker 4 And, you know, and for me, I was like, I was just eating a sandwich and I was like in editing and I was like kind of like down and like, and then I came up with, you know, in order to kind of preserve self-preservation, it was like, you can see a picture that can tell a thousand words, but that's always not going to be all the story to tell.

Speaker 4 But in a meme, that kind of

Speaker 4 lensing or focusing,

Speaker 4 and then the way it gets shared or transmitted. Anyway, long story short, that was pretty fucking funny.

Speaker 4 And weird. It was funny and weird, right? It's fucking weird.
It's funny. It's funny.
It's weird. And like, here you are on a candle and you're carrying a lamb.

Speaker 4 Do you ever think about the kids today who are coming up who were, you know, think about like when you were coming up and you were doing Bill and Ted's and all these great movies and you shot out of a cannon, can you imagine having to have the scrutiny that there is now?

Speaker 4 Yeah, no. I mean, scrutiny and responsibilities, right? Right.
I mean, I think. And you're a kid, so you you don't know anybody, so you're kind of dumb.
We're all dumb when we were kids.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah, I unfortunately kept that going. But

Speaker 4 yeah, the,

Speaker 4 yeah, I mean, I do. I mean,

Speaker 4 I've heard of just a lot of

Speaker 4 artists having the pressure to be on social media in order to get a job. Right.
Right. Like to even get in the room and make an audition and yeah, the following kind of aspect to the

Speaker 4 kind of capitalistic idea of it. But

Speaker 4 yeah, I mean, I bet it's tough. I bet it's tough, but also I'm sure it's pleasurable for some people too, right? So I, you know, and there's artistry to it and involvement and creativity.

Speaker 4 But I think, I think the, the now is definitely more intense pressure on your private life than the before. Yeah.
I mean, the before had a lot of pressure too, but I think the now is even more.

Speaker 4 Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 6 Well, I mean, when you said you were 58, it's like you're, Keanu Reeves is going to be 60 in two years.

Speaker 6 You've gotten a lot of shit done.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I mean, you've been busy, motherfucker. Yeah.
I know, but I haven't hit the 100. I want to be, I haven't hit the 100.

Speaker 6 I want to be 100 too.

Speaker 4 No, no, but 100 years old, but also 100 films. 100 films.

Speaker 4 How many do you got? Yeah, I don't know. I think I'm in the 70s.
Yeah. Well, you've got time.
You got time. You got plenty of time.

Speaker 6 Just don't get stuck directing a bunch of them. And, you know, I know, right? You'll lose a bunch of time.

Speaker 4 Wait, speaking of, though,

Speaker 4 okay, so I want to get into John Wick because I have a bunch of questions. Okay.
So

Speaker 4 first of all, let me just start. We do have a connection because, and I'm kind of stating the obvious here, we have the same personal trainer.

Speaker 4 So Patrick Murphy is fantastic.

Speaker 4 The best. I love him.
He's the greatest. And he's trained you quite a bit, as I understand, and he's nothing but incredible kind words to say about you.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 like me, he's always blown away. A lot of people are blown away by the fact that you do all your own stunts.
I don't do stunts. But you had to in the first John Wickley.

Speaker 4 You're falling on your back.

Speaker 6 He doesn't call him stunts. Oh, sorry.

Speaker 4 You're doing acts like a first call.

Speaker 4 You guys have the same trainer. I mean, is he so exhausted after working with Keanu that by the time he gets to you, he just

Speaker 4 zip into fucking. There's a real fucking difference.
I mean, this is.

Speaker 4 Okay, this is. Let's go.
Stand up and make a bagel, Sean. Stand up and make a bagel.
Let's see. Here we go.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 So anyway.

Speaker 4 Okay, so you do your own action, is that right? Well, no, it's a big difference, right? Because if I'm there, if John Wick gets hit by a car,

Speaker 4 I'm not doing that. That's a stunt.
If John Wick

Speaker 4 fights, I can do the fighting. And if I can do a judo throw or if I'm going to fall on the ground,

Speaker 4 but not jump off a building. I'm sorry.
No, no, but let me just say something. Because you fall, because I've seen them.

Speaker 4 and so I'm looking at them and it's your face falling on the ground Yeah, yeah, well I do well that's falling on the but no, but that's the lens right so maybe I'll do the double action. I'll do the

Speaker 4 crazy shit. All right.
I mean listen I get to ride some horses. I get to drive some cars.
I get to like you know run and jump and and do a lot of you know interactive fight sequences.

Speaker 4 But Patrick praises you like no end because he just says you have such a high threshold for pain. You're like the second if you hurt yourself, you're back in the game right away.

Speaker 4 Like, I heard or I read somewhere that you, the like the first day or the first week you were shooting John Wick II, that you injured yourself and you just got up and just kept going.

Speaker 4 Like it's like a football player. Yeah, yeah, there is, but I mean, but that's the kind of the joy of it too, isn't it? Like, it's not easy to do.
I don't know about that. I mean, it's like not easy.

Speaker 6 Once you get past 45, it's not super enjoyable.

Speaker 4 I mean, it feels like it. I know, but if you can do it, right? If you can try, if you can.
If you can try, if you can climb, if you can climb the mountain.

Speaker 6 but doing it, it's got to be a lot harder now.

Speaker 4 Let's, well, who gives a, who cares, man? Hard, smart, whatever. But you have a...
Oh, but shoot. Come on, man.
Fucking

Speaker 4 draining. Yeah, Baby.
It's hot. It's whatever.
It's like, you're not comfortable. Whatever, man.
Take it out. He's like, my God.
Tell us, Keanu. Keanu, tell Bateman.
You fucking, let's go, Bateman.

Speaker 4 What the fuck, dude? Fuck it. All right, listen.

Speaker 4 But wait, then I heard this too, from Patrick told me this, that people stop you on the street and give you feedback or ideas about the John Wick series.

Speaker 4 You should do this. You should do that.
Is that true? Yeah, once in a while. And there's some good ideas and stuff, but.
Really?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, the world, I mean, I think that's what's really

Speaker 4 what I really appreciated. Well,

Speaker 4 I really appreciate with John Wick how the world has opened up, right? With the idea of a high table. There's so much mystery in

Speaker 4 the films, but in a weird way, somehow it all makes sense. And

Speaker 4 you authentically feel that everyone has a past. Yes, I love that.
Because the first one is like, you fucking kill my dog, I fucking kill you. And you're off to the races, right?

Speaker 4 And that's what the thing is.

Speaker 4 And then it just kind of grew and grew and grew. I'm kidding.
It's deeper than that.

Speaker 4 But it grew and grew from there. But yes,

Speaker 4 but not really. But it's so cool.
It's really, really cool. Yes.

Speaker 4 Revenge and freedom.

Speaker 4 Is there anything you heard over the years in that feedback from your fans? Like,

Speaker 4 what is the main thing people say? Like, I think people try to like connect why it all is happening. And they try to connect, like, maybe my wife is really, is she really dead?

Speaker 4 Is she part of the high table?

Speaker 4 Is the character Winston? Is he really pulling all of the strings? What's the Bowery King?

Speaker 4 Is it a fever dream? Is John Wick, is this just, you know, so we have

Speaker 4 people trying to kind of connect dots and try and kind of get a big overview of the story and get to the... It's really cool.
Yeah, it's kind of fun.

Speaker 6 And we will be right back.

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Speaker 6 All right, back to the show.

Speaker 4 When you do a film like the John Wick films,

Speaker 4 do you, what is your, because they are so physical,

Speaker 4 what's your, when you rap, what is your sort of recovery? What do you, are you, are you like, I need four weeks on a beach or four weeks at home with the door shut or I need to like go to Parrot?

Speaker 4 Like, what do you do to like

Speaker 4 recover from those really grueling movies?

Speaker 4 When I get home, after I finish filming them. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it starts with

Speaker 4 collapse. Yeah.
And then, but, but it, but it's an interesting thing.

Speaker 4 I don't know if you guys have found this, but like, I don't know, coming off the road or coming off the the series or, you know, the work that you're doing, you can be really tired, but then there's also a restlessness.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I don't know if you've experienced that.
Like, you know, you want, I'm just going to stay home. Well, I'm just going to get up and go get something from the fridge.
Or,

Speaker 4 you know, but there can also be the periods where, like, don't talk to me. No, I don't want to work.

Speaker 4 But then you're like, but there is a restlessness. And then once I get through the restlessness from it,

Speaker 4 then it's like I go into a world that I don't quite understand in the sense of like, how do I rest? Or who am I? What is the meaning of life?

Speaker 4 What am I doing? You're trying to reconnect with people, you know, because making films of that kind of time scale, you're in a time machine.

Speaker 4 You know everyone around you, then you go away and you go down the river on your kind of independent journey. They're going down a river and then you have to meet up at the other side of that

Speaker 4 distance of travel.

Speaker 4 So so much of their lives have gone on yes you can have contact but you're not involved you know and so it's kind of in a weird way sinking up to those around you and sinking back up to your life you know at the same time that you're totally exhausted restless questioning everything and then of course you have the fear and desperation of being unemployed yeah um and then you want to you know then you're back into it is it as much of a of a of a draw for you as it was when you were just trying to make something of your career and something of yourself and carve something out?

Speaker 6 Because it seems like you're very

Speaker 6 respectful

Speaker 6 of life itself, like the real stuff, as opposed to career stuff and making fake life.

Speaker 6 And having done so much,

Speaker 6 do you start, and I'm just, I'm sort of projecting myself, right? I mean, I'm 54 and you start thinking about, well, we're closer to death than we are to birth.

Speaker 4 And like, sorry, no way, 54.

Speaker 6 Well, I'm just, you know, like, at what point do you, do you like, what's the right ratio? You know, um,

Speaker 6 do you think about, well, there are certainly, I'd like to play a role like this and a role like that, or direct them this, or go do a play, or whatever it is.

Speaker 6 Like, do you have certain things you still want to check off?

Speaker 4 Yeah. Before you take a

Speaker 4 bigger

Speaker 4 final life,

Speaker 4 before you kick it. Before I kick it.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I mean, to answer your question,

Speaker 4 I mean, I guess part of it is I still love acting and

Speaker 4 I still love the creativity of it. Yeah.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 I still have ambition and hope.

Speaker 4 And I still

Speaker 4 want to do good work and work with people. And so I still want to do that.

Speaker 4 I love the goal of 100. That's 100.
Yeah, and I want to be 100. That would be fun.

Speaker 6 Any big thing pulling you in life? Like, do you have certain places you'd like to travel to? Do you have a sport?

Speaker 4 Well, I'm hoping to do a play on Broadway. Yeah.
I mean, I haven't done that.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Whoa.

Speaker 6 That sounds good.

Speaker 4 Like, Sean, Sean's got his.

Speaker 6 Sean's playing at the Tabasco Theater.

Speaker 4 It's going to be hot. Tabasco.
Yeah. Yeah.
They've sponsored. Tabasco.
All night.

Speaker 4 You know that.

Speaker 4 That's Tabasco. Hey, guys, check out.
Everything's hot. It's a hot hot night.
It's a hot show. It's a hot theater.
You come in cool, you leave hot.

Speaker 4 Listen, I feel like this would be a generic question for anyone else other than you, but what's your favorite action movie?

Speaker 4 Oh,

Speaker 6 shit. One of your favorite action movies.

Speaker 4 Or one of them, you're the answer. Oh, my gosh.

Speaker 4 Oh, my God. And was there one? You think I'd have that like ready

Speaker 4 sleeve, right? Like, oh, well, here's the list of the favorite action. Come on.
I don't think I do. I don't have one.

Speaker 4 Okay, well, what do we mean by an action? Like, you know, there's actions. I mean, because it could be like a, it could be Bruce Lee and Enter the Dragon.
Or it could be Raiders of the Lost Arts.

Speaker 4 It could be Raiders of the Largest. It could be Rollerball.

Speaker 4 Oh, you should have to do it. Is that an action? Rollerball?

Speaker 4 A science fiction. Yeah, no, no, no.
That was good. No, but you almost said Raider of the Star.
Could it be chitty chitty bang bang? I mean, yeah. I mean, I don't know.

Speaker 6 Yeah, that car gets hairy.

Speaker 4 I mean, I don't know. I mean, but I mean, just to answer your question, I mean, I grew up, I mean, like, what is it? Like, the Towering inferno.
I mean, what about all of the chariot movies, right?

Speaker 4 What about the westerns? What about the gumball rally? What action movies are we to? What about, oh, I mean, I guess formative. I mean,

Speaker 4 I don't mean just people like moving in a scene. I just meant like people fighting.

Speaker 4 I mean, I can't remember where they're fighting and blowing stuff up. I'm kidding.
Good for you, Keanu.

Speaker 4 Define it. I mean,

Speaker 4 listen, Keanu,

Speaker 4 John Wick 4, right? 4. There's 4.

Speaker 4 It was released in March, and it's how great is. I can't wait to see it.
That's kind. Yeah.
I can't wait. I'm a big, big fan of you and those movies and all your movies.

Speaker 4 We've taken up a lot of your time. Thank you for being here.
We love you.

Speaker 6 You're the man. You're absolutely.

Speaker 4 You're very cool. Fellas, thank you very much.

Speaker 4 Nice to meet y'all. I'm jealous that Sean had you as his guest.
You've been on my wish list for like two and a half years. So I'm supposed to be here.

Speaker 4 I can support that. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Stop ducking me out there. You know, I'd like to spend more than just 57 minutes with you.

Speaker 4 Cheers. Come have dinner with us one night.
All right.

Speaker 4 That'd be so cool. That'd be cool.

Speaker 4 Do you live in Los Angeles, Keanu? I do. Okay, just

Speaker 4 text me the address. All right.
So,

Speaker 4 all right. We love you.
Thank you for being here, pal. Thanks for doing this.
Thanks, man. Thank you.
Thank you, guys. Thank you so much.
See you, pal.

Speaker 4 Hey, guys, it's Keanu Reeves. That was Keanu Reeves.
Did you recognize him?

Speaker 6 I did recognize him.

Speaker 6 He's not changed a bit.

Speaker 4 He looks

Speaker 4 exactly the same. He's 32.
He looks 32. Jason, you look like his older brother.

Speaker 6 You son of a

Speaker 6 bitch.

Speaker 4 But wait, he kind of skated over the fact that I know he didn't, well, I call him stunts, but action sequences, whatever. He has too much respect for

Speaker 4 the people who dissipate.

Speaker 6 He's so unassuming.

Speaker 4 He's so unassuming. And it's all real.
But I'm not dissing them. I'm just saying, you know, take after take after take, movie after movie after movie.
Your body just, I don't understand.

Speaker 4 Can you say, do you, maybe, can you guys relate to this?

Speaker 4 When you were younger, did you have like, I didn't have an older brother, so, but I had, I had guys who were like my dad, my, my godfather's son, Ward Brown, was my idol, and he was a couple years, he was like three years older than me.

Speaker 4 And everything he did, I wanted to do. He played high, everything, because I like looked up to him.
I was like, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 4 Keanu, I could see is one of those guys that I've always, he's like a few years older. I'm like, I just want to do it.
What's he doing? Totally. He's totally right.
And he's got that.

Speaker 4 He lives in that same space for me. I feel the same way about Pitt.
I'm like, and everything. Okay, man, how's that going?

Speaker 4 What are you doing? Yeah, we're just no way. I know they're like

Speaker 4 it's like a cool factor. I'll never, I'll never achieve.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Well, you started out nice with it. You shared the same body instructor.

Speaker 4 What's his name?

Speaker 4 Body instructor.

Speaker 6 What's it called?

Speaker 6 Guys, my brain's broken today.

Speaker 4 A trainer, like a personal trainer.

Speaker 6 Like a body trainer, right?

Speaker 4 Oh, jeez.

Speaker 4 Jesus body instructor. Listen.

Speaker 6 Oh, but, you know, but he also seems, he's so humble and unassuming.

Speaker 4 And it's real. And it's all so real.

Speaker 6 He doesn't need any attention. He's almost shy, yet he's in a

Speaker 4 public role.

Speaker 6 I find that admirable and interesting.

Speaker 4 I didn't even get to the thing that I said in his

Speaker 4 intro, which was he, I wanted to ask him, the whole point of my intro is to ask him about he starred in Paula Abdul's music video, Rush Rush, in the 90s.

Speaker 4 And I was like, why is Keanu Reeves in this video? It was so wild. I remember it was like a big deal because I was obsessed with that video.

Speaker 6 Maybe he was dating her at the time.

Speaker 4 That's what I wanted to ask.

Speaker 4 Well, he's not, he's way, no, no, no. He's way too discreet.
He never would have said that.

Speaker 6 Fall him back, Sean. Okay.

Speaker 4 Let's get it back. This is the first time we ever want to get it.
We want to get a guest back. We didn't get to a lot of stuff because there's so much to talk to.

Speaker 4 Talk to them about it. I know.
I want to talk to him more about the Matrix stuff, but anyway.

Speaker 4 I mean, you did a terrible job asking questions, if I'm being honest.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you're going to lose your nomination next year.

Speaker 4 You are. Oh, you've already lost.
You've already lost. You're never getting back to Host of the Year.
Well, I can probably see that award go

Speaker 4 by.

Speaker 4 You're just using a buy for buy, huh? That's right. Okay.

Speaker 4 Smart.

Speaker 4 Smart

Speaker 4 less.

Speaker 4 Smartless is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Rob Armjarv, Bennett Barbico, and Michael Grantary.

Speaker 4 Smart Less.

Speaker 4 Hi.

Speaker 4 Hi.

Speaker 4 Hi.

Speaker 4 So, listener, hi. Before we go, we wanted to introduce the audience to someone very special today.

Speaker 6 Please meet someone special.

Speaker 4 Smartless Media is doing our very first

Speaker 4 podcast

Speaker 4 called Bad Dates with the amazing, incredible Jamila Jamil.

Speaker 4 Hi.

Speaker 4 Welcome, Jamila Jamil.

Speaker 5 Do I clap myself?

Speaker 4 Yes,

Speaker 4 enthusiastic. Clap yourself.
Thank you. You can give yourself the clap.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 6 Now, speaking of giving yourself the clap, this is called Bad Dates, right?

Speaker 5 so unbelievable segue yeah is

Speaker 5 called bad dates yeah yeah and and are you well tell tell the listener what basically what it's about beyond what the title says it is relatively self-explanatory it's just me and some of my favorite comedians and people coming on to disclose the sordid details of the silliest and weirdest and grossest dates they've ever had.

Speaker 5 And the reason I love this subject is because it's very bonding. It never fails to ignite a conversation wherever you are.
It brings

Speaker 5 barriers down, but also there's just a democracy to it because it just doesn't matter how hot you are, how smart, how rich, how famous. No one is exempt from a shitty fucking date.

Speaker 6 But I would guess that you have never had a bad date because you seem to know how to communicate in any way possible to make it all work.

Speaker 4 Like

Speaker 6 you can answer the questions or you can ask the questions. Like some people just only don't know how to do one.

Speaker 5 It comes to a standstill when I am, I'm not going to say aroused, but when I'm interested, all of my skills fly out of the window. And really,

Speaker 5 I have no way of receiving a sort of social cue. So really, you have to be inside of me for me to understand that you're interested.
Obviously, given the current climate, that's not. appropriate.

Speaker 6 But you're saying if you like the other person, you start to lock up a little bit?

Speaker 5 I completely, I lock up and I shut down. Yes.

Speaker 6 Will's got that with Charlize Theron. He can't.
He just

Speaker 4 needs to, you don't need to go wide with that.

Speaker 6 No, she knows.

Speaker 4 Don't worry.

Speaker 5 She's

Speaker 5 wine, Will. We all have that with Charlize Theron.

Speaker 4 Have you had a favorite guest yet on Bad Dates at all? I mean, anybody come tomorrow?

Speaker 4 Who could you be hinting at? I don't know.

Speaker 5 Sean, you've been a wonderful guest on the show.

Speaker 4 Sean.

Speaker 6 Well,

Speaker 6 give us a taste, Sean. What was your name?

Speaker 4 I don't want to ruin it, but it starts out with me meeting a guy in a bar with workout pants in a bar, and we're both super drunk.

Speaker 4 We go back to his place, and before we get to the goods part of the story, he asks, Can I, do you mind if I microwave a burrito really quick because we're at it? I swear to God. Not a euphemism.

Speaker 4 He wasn't asking.

Speaker 4 I would have loved it if he said, You cool if I shower real quick before we keep talking?

Speaker 5 Yeah, it was a real dream. Sean was on with Conan O'Brien.
We've had Tig Nataro. We've had Nikki Glazem on the show.

Speaker 4 Wait, wait, cool. Wait, wait, wait.
Conan's been on a date?

Speaker 4 I know,

Speaker 4 just the one,

Speaker 5 yeah, yeah, and it was a disaster, thankfully. So he came on the show to talk about it.

Speaker 5 But it is just like, it is quite astonishing how much I've learned about a lot of very famous people, and also just how many people have shit their pants on a date.

Speaker 5 I don't know if that's true that any of you have literally shit their pants.

Speaker 5 It's actually like it is, it is the great equalizer. The arsehole is the great equalizer of humanity.
And I think it's been overlooked politically, but we've uncovered it on the show

Speaker 4 fascinating i want to hear all about that i am tuning in oh by the way you just got jason's attention the dates and the hooking up fine no it's fine but once you get into the short rounding oh

Speaker 4 that is that is the bowels of the story wheelhouse sean am i right yeah

Speaker 4 could you call the show shit show

Speaker 5 I basically should.

Speaker 5 But I mean, there are varieties on what we're learning on the show. But it is just, I just want people out there to know that you are not alone if you think you are.

Speaker 5 Like, the stories are so wild and so funny and so absurd. And we're not shitting on single life because God knows married life is fucking its own nightmare.

Speaker 5 But we're just trying to like have an intimate, funny conversation about something that I think is deeply relatable.

Speaker 5 My story amazingly didn't involve any shit, but I've had my own like extraordinary disasters. Sean, I've told you the story before, but yes.
I can share it with you if you want an idea.

Speaker 5 Of how much disaster is out there.

Speaker 5 I tried to have my first ever one-night sound because I've only only kissed six people, right, in my life.

Speaker 4 Oh my god.

Speaker 5 But it is sadly true. I started very late and then I was slow on the uptake.

Speaker 5 And so I

Speaker 5 thought, you know what? In my 30s, I'm going to have my hoe era that I've always dreamed of. It's going to happen.
And

Speaker 5 I got the sense that I was about to have my first ever booty call. A man that I'd been sort of casually going on a few dates with, just hanging out with.
We hadn't done anything anything yet.

Speaker 5 He texted me and said,

Speaker 5 shall I come over? And I was like, oh, 11pm. I'm definitely going to get my first.

Speaker 5 So you can even hear what's happening to my voice just talking about it.

Speaker 5 I suddenly become like a bit more like Mary Poppins about the whole thing.

Speaker 5 But I was like, oh my God, I'm going to get a casual shag. It's so exciting.

Speaker 5 So he turns up at my house, 11 p.m. on the dot, walks into my apartment.
I've only been living in America for a week at this point, right? So I don't know anyone or anything.

Speaker 5 And he takes three steps in and collapses face first on the ground. And all of his front teeth, we're talking at least 12 here, shoot out of his mouth across my entire living room.

Speaker 5 So now there is blood and teeth all over my room. And he's having a seizure.
So I've never seen someone have a seizure in real life before. And I panic.
I think he's going to die.

Speaker 5 I call 911, which is also... slightly exciting because you know I'm English and they call that in the movies.
So I feel very Hollywood right now.

Speaker 4 I call 911.

Speaker 5 They send in the fucking police turn up, the fire brigade, the paramedics. Everyone comes rolling into my house.
I now have about 25 men in my apartment, which is not how I'd expect it.

Speaker 4 And you're just larger, right? You were ready to go.

Speaker 5 No, not quite, but close.

Speaker 5 And this man is covered in blood.

Speaker 5 He's split his chin all the way open. And they're trying to resuscitate him.
They managed to bring him to, and they're like, excuse me, sir. Like, you know, have you taken anything?

Speaker 5 Do you have epilepsy? And he was like, oh, I might have had some cocaine. But he was like, but I always have cocaine.

Speaker 5 And I was like, oh, it's a small red flag it's not a huge one it's a little it was just uh I think the word always uh at his age felt slightly disturbing wasn't gonna be a short date no exactly and then they were like have you taken anything else and he was going no and he's having to treat like this because you've got no teeth now um and so they start putting the blanket over him to take him out and as they go past his cock he gets a raging erection which feels inappropriate in the moment and they're like sir have you taken anything else right and he turns around and he looks directly at me and makes full eye contact and just goes I might have had some Viagra

Speaker 5 which is I might have had some Viagra for those who don't speak toothless

Speaker 4 so that's a combination you don't want yeah so then you hook up so no yeah so you get an actor quickly sucked him off uh

Speaker 5 and sent him on his way um yeah he got carried out in uh on a stretcher in the middle of west hollywood of a quite famous actor uh so we had to put a blanket over his cup but also one over his face And he's just there's just like pitching a tent through West Hollywood as he gets taken to the hospital.

Speaker 5 So that was

Speaker 5 that was my first and last attempt at a booty call and have been in a long-term relationship since a week from that day.

Speaker 6 I can't wait to get you Trump one day and find out who that guy was.

Speaker 4 I can't believe Thoreau has never told us this story. Right.

Speaker 6 He's usually really open about it.

Speaker 4 Normally, you'd think that he would.

Speaker 4 Well, Jamila.

Speaker 5 So that is what can happen. I know.

Speaker 4 See, I live for those kinds of stories. And you can see

Speaker 4 how everybody has one or two or five or ten of these horrible.

Speaker 6 Ask her if she's ever forgotten a line on stage. You know? Yeah.
Any weird

Speaker 4 really horrible theater story.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 6 You have to tune into Smartlist for that one. But for all bad date stories, tune in to bad dates.

Speaker 6 When do we get to start airing these things?

Speaker 5 So March 20th, it'll be on Wondery Plus and Amazon Music. And then March 27th, it'll be on all services.

Speaker 5 And you can just sit back, relax, and enjoy the truly horrible tales of some people's dating experiences. It's just amazing what we'll go through to get a shag, isn't it?

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 4 Boy, that's a quote.

Speaker 4 Well, we're lucky, Jamila, that we have you taking us through this. This is going to be so great.
We're really excited. And you're our first, you're our first one.
You're our virgin.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you're our first one.

Speaker 5 Thank you. No pressure.

Speaker 6 Thank you for signing up.

Speaker 4 No pressure. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Thanks.
I'm a massive fan of all of you. So I'm going to try my best not to let you down.

Speaker 5 But I don't know if I can because this podcast is so weird and gross

Speaker 4 it's gonna fly. Yeah,

Speaker 4 uh, well, thank you, we're big fans, thank you for doing this, and uh, we can't wait to listen. Likewise, thank you, thank you, honey, bye, bye, Jamila.
Bye, bye,

Speaker 4 smart

Speaker 4 loss,

Speaker 4 smart

Speaker 4 loss.

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