SmartLess

"Keanu Reeves"

March 27, 2023 58m Episode 142
We welcome fellow goalie “cool breeze over the mountains” a.k.a. Keanu Reeves to the show to discuss sellin’ cornflakes, workin’ on workin, and the results of being an unlicked cub. “Be excellent to each other.” Stick around at the end of the episode for a special surprise where we introduce our new podcast, Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil, out now wherever you get your podcasts. Please support us by supporting our sponsors.

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Full Transcript

Listen to The Unusual Suspects with Kenya Barris and Malcolm Gladwell, a new podcast on Audible. Kenya Barris and Malcolm Gladwell joined forces to interview luminaries of entertainment, sports, business, politics, and more to learn about their paths to success.
These deep yet casual conversations reveal unexpected stories that may just change the way you think. Featured guests include our friend Jimmy Kimmel, the longest-running late-night TV host, isn't that interesting? David Chang, who is on our show, who's fantastic.
He's the renowned chef and founder of the Momofuku Restaurant Group. Listen to The Unusual Suspects with Kenya Barris and Malcolm Gladwell on Audible now.
Go to audible.com slash unusual suspects. While Hilton is always expected to have top-notch service, you'd be surprised at the unexpected places they're offering it now.
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across the globe. And they've added romantic and refined nomad hotels and graduate hotels

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with those Hilton Honors points you've been saving at Hilton.com. Hilton for the stay.
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Visit HubSpot.com slash marketers to see how companies like yours are generating 110% more leads in just 12 months. Hey guys, it's really rainy out there today.
Who's getting wet? Who's getting drippy and droopy in their drawers? Who's getting real chilly under the collar?

And who's getting ready to be heated up because of all that mess?

Let's get hot on SmartLess! Smart. Less.
Smart. Less.
Oh, boy. Guys, it is cold here in Los Angeles.
You know what I could have used last night? What's that, Jason? It's an extra blanket. Maybe even a Sherpa blanket, huh? You know where you could get one, Jay? Where? Where? Where? What? If you go to, and I don't know if my coordinates are correct here, but if you go to www.wondryshop.com slash smartless.
What's that? That's our merch madness store. Can I get sweats there? Do they sell Sherpa blankets in there? Yeah, of course.
Can I get t-shirts? Yeah, of course. What about warm socks? Yeah, of course.
Oh, that'd be great for the cold weather now. Do you like joggers? Do you like phone cases? Sure.
What does he look like, the joggers? Do you like pop sockets? I don't even know what those are. I'm going to buy three t-shirts and a Sherpa blanket right now at www.wondryshop.com slash smartless.
You did it again. You only did two W's.
www. It's going to be three W's.
So hard for me. And this is the World Wide Web? This is it.
Yes. .wonderyshop.com slash smartless.
Go. We got all this new smartless merchandise.
It's so good. The hats are amazing.
Listen, for storytellers like us who are creating content. No, but just hear me out.
As a content-creating storyteller. Yeah, we got it.
We got it. We got it.
You can come and load up. We got it.
a content creating storyteller we get it

you can come and load up

you know speaking of loads

wait really quick

I just want to talk about this because

it's been in the news for several weeks

and I'm obsessed with the UFOs that they're shooting down

and

today I was watching the news

and it's funny how they're kind of skirting

around it like

like it has to be

alien stuff right

It can't be. today I was watching the news and it's funny how they're kind of skirting around it like

it has to be alien stuff

right?

probably not

but it can't just be weather balloons

tell Scott he can stop painting his face

there's not going to be a big

painting his face

take the tinfoil out of the windows

I think it's a different kind of balloon

they're flying

a different kind of surveillance device

they said it's not surveillance or anything

Thank you. The foil out of the windows.
Yeah. No, I think it's just, it's a different kind of balloon they're flying, a different kind of surveillance device now.
I think so. They said it's not surveillance or anything.
No. Somebody pointed out that if aliens sent these craft over here from wherever the hell, they wouldn't be easily downed by our dumb weapons.
You never know. Missiles.
You never know. Right.
They may be dumb, too. They might be dumb, too.

But anyway, you know who isn't dumb?

Our guest today has quite the stellar and sparkly reputation.

Oh, I thought this was Willie's building.

This is yours?

This is mine, yeah.

Sean's?

There it is.

It's right there on the calendar.

You guys are going to crap yourself.

This is so fun.

Really?

Yeah, I can't believe we get to talk to this fella.

I might get a little starstruck not just because he's celebrated here in the United States, guys, but he's very much celebrated internationally, too. Really? By the way, he's not even American.
Many fans may not realize he was the one to cast as a James Dean-type and a Rebel Without a Cause-type adaptation, which I'm obsessed with. That's the first thing I'm going to talk to him about.
And word on the street is there's no one nicer in Hollywood. His first name in Hawaiian means cool breeze over the mountains.
Guys, it's the legendary Keanu Reeves. No.
Cool breeze over the mountains. Over the mountains, really? Wait.
I didn't know that. This just picked my mood up a lot.
Where are you? Are you in a hotel room right now? I am. I'm at the Four Seasons in West Hollywood.
We're not paying for that. We're not paying for that.
No. No, I'm doing some John Wick Chapter 4 press for a film.
I can't wait to talk about it. You put this into your junket schedule, that is a very nice thing to do because that's a haul doing that stuff.
It's you fellas, come on. You're tired and you've been doing lots of press and then you've got to talk to us idiots.
No. This is so We're going to up our game.
We're going to up our game. Because what, you got a couple of round tables after this? No, I'm good, man.
I'm good. All right.
I'm good. Dude, great to meet you, man.
Yeah. Cheers.
I've been such a huge fan for so long. I can't.
It's so nice to meet you. Yeah, this is so cool for us.
So, Keanu, let me ask you something.

Because we, as a Canadian, we always claim you as a Canadian.

What's your Canadian status?

Really?

Where would you put it?

But wait, let me just jump in with that.

Beirut.

Born in Beirut.

Born in Beirut.

Canada.

Chinese, Hawaiian.

European.

Do you want him to answer it?

I mean, you can tell me.

I mean, I could just look up his Wikipedia.

He's trying to show off that he did research. Yeah, the story of my past is obviously the story of my mother.
And so she ran away from home when she was like 15. And she ended up going to Beirut, Lebanon.
And as you do, she was born in England. And she met a guy and they had a kid and that's me.
Yeah. And then it's a long story, but my...
Sounds romantic. It does.
There's a bit of adventure in their journey. And then my father had a stepfather who was Canadian.
And then there's a bunch of stuff that happened. But long story story short me and my sister and my mom ended up moving into a house in Canada and so that's how I became Canadian when I was like seven or seven years old.
Did you so did you go to uh you went to school a lot of school in Canada in Toronto? Well I went to I was raised in Toronto, and I went to Jesse Ketchum. Did you really? Yeah, do you know it? Fuck yeah, I do, man.
Please, he will. Of course.
Oh, look how excited. Now he's up.
I graduated from Leeside High School. Leeside? Yeah.
Yeah, I, um, the two high schools that were kind of, our grade school fed, uh, what the fuck were they called? Uh, Northern and... Northern, yeah.
Ah. North Toronto.
I went to NT. I went to North Toronto for one year.
You did? Yeah, I went to North Toronto for one year. And I'm trying to remember the other school, Jarvis.
And Jarvis. So my sisters went to Jarvis and my nephew is graduating from North Toronto this year.
Well, congratulations. Thank you.
And congratulations to you. Is that right, eh? Yeah.
So are you a Maple Leafs fan as well? I was. I was.
I played a lot of ice hockey as a kid. Yeah.
And so, yeah, I played a lot of hockey. I played a lot of hockey.
Yeah. No more.
You don't play in one of these Hollywood leagues or teams? No, I never got into the Hollywood leagues. I played a lot.
When I got here, I played in some leagues in Los Angeles. And I discovered that you could play pickup hockey basically every day.
Really? And so I played a lot of that. And I'm a goalie.
So is Will. Oh, my God, Will.
Take it easy. I played goal at North Toronto, at the rink there at North Toronto, right? Nice rink.
Yeah. Great rink.
Nice. By the way, you should be noted, I got an email today from somebody I know here in L.A.
saying, hey, do you want to go and play pickup? They call it pickup hockey. Of course, we call it shinny.
But do you want to go and play some pickup hockey in this league? And I said, man, I just wrote back like two hours ago. I was like, I'm too old, man.
I care. No, but what if they're old too? And then everyone takes it easy in the corners.
Yeah, but, you know, and then you end up, you fall or you take a bad hit, and then you're like, what the hell am I doing, man? What am I doing out here? What am I doing out here? I went to four different high schools in Toronto. So I went to North Toronto for two years and then I went to a performing arts high school.
Got kicked out of that. Really? Then I went to De La Salle on Avenue Road.
Dude, De La Salle is on Farnham and I grew up on Farnarnham. What? I grew up 100 yards from De La Salle.

What?

You guys probably walked by each other a million times.

You're both the same age.

How old are you?

How old are you?

I'm 52.

I'm 58.

So, okay.

You were probably walking along the street there when I was like a punk kid, you know?

That's amazing.

Wow.

Yeah.

That's wow. And then there's a Hawaii in there? No.
Oh, I'm sorry. Yes.
My father was Hawaiian. So he grew up in Hawaii and then he got into some trouble.
And so he ended up going to Lebanon too. And that's where he and my mom met.
Where did your mom go before Beirut? Where was she? She was born in England and she went to Paris. She was interested in fashion and design and so I think she worked at a fashion house atelier.
So you guys just moved around constantly. Yeah yeah even in Toronto there's a lot of I got a lot of gypsy in my story.
Yeah you got a lot of Good stuff cursing through you. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Even in Toronto, there's a lot of, I got a lot of gypsy in my

story. Yeah, you got a lot of good stuff cursing through you.
Yeah. Is your, now, is your, is your sister in the arts? She's in the equestrian arts.
Okay. Whoa.
Or she was in the arts. Yeah, so she was into horses, training horses, riding, could do anything, everything on a horse, and that was her deal and my so husband, Scotty, he is an army brat.
He moved 17 times before he was like 20 or something like that. Wow.
But moving around made him want to desire to be stable in one place and never move again. Are you like that or did that upbringing make you feel, like are you drawn to different experiences all the time? Hmm.
I think both. Oh, okay.
If you can be both. I mean, I think.
You can. I mean, I love traveling.
I love new experiences. I mean, I think with the arts that we're in, if it works out, you get a chance to travel around and meet folks.
So I love that experience. But it's also important.
I mean, I love a good couch, a little home. Yeah, who doesn't? Good God.
And then, of course, then the itch starts. Yeah, exactly.
And then it's a fever. And then you're distracted.
How long are you good on the couch without any work or without any work that you know is coming up? You just want to measure it. You just want to measure it to yours.
If you know work's coming up, like you have a start date on something, I can sit on my couch for six months. But if I don't know anything's coming, I'm about two weeks.
Oh, yeah, you're an unemployed. I call it the working uh, working on working.
Um, I, you know, it really depends on what the, what the journey you had before you're unemployed. Right.
You know, like if you, you know, if you have like, if you, if you've been working and it's been really intense for five or six months, you know, you come out of that, you know, you might not be thinking about being unemployed and working on working for a day or two, but for two months. Yeah.
You don't do, you do jobs that they shoot a lot of nights. There's a lot of action.
Yeah. There's weapons.
Yes. But I mean, like, you don't have like easy days on your movies.
No rom-coms for you. No, I like a good rom-com.
I got to work with Ali Wong. I did a couple of days on an Ali Wong show.
She's funny. I've done it.
She's amazing. But no, I've had the fortune to do some pretty epic shooting.
Like, I mean, working on Matrix 2 and 3 was 22 months. Wow, my God.
And all the John Wicks are like, that ain't no phone in. No, there's no phones.
I remember seeing that first John Wick. Well, first of all, I mean, now that you've opened, you opened up the Matrix.
Yeah, I had a bunch before that. So, well, okay.
Well, everybody's got a bunch. Go do it.
Jesus, why are you arguing with me? I want to talk you and he's tired he's not gonna deal with that i'm really tired and and so i remember what being in new york uh 1998 when matrix came out i want to say and uh i know because i have a weird thing with dates and was i couldn't have been more blown away i had no preconceived notion because we weren't inundated at that time all the time with the phones and stuff of leading up to stuff so you could kind of go into a movie clean and just for what it was fuck man that was such a game changer for me that movie did you know why you were filming it with the effects and all of the stuff that it was a game changer? I mean, you never know while you're making something, but I knew with the Wachowskis, the directors, I knew their vision was extraordinary. I knew the script was extraordinary and the cast.
And then once it got all put together, I mean, I think of that film as a perfect film. Yeah, it's amazing.
And it is like for me too, watching that film because I hadn't seen him with the visual effects and all of that, just like... Yeah.
Yeah, that's great. I remember, Keanu, my oldest son is 14, and I remember just within the last couple of years the moment of, like, when I was like, we're going to watch The Matrix, man.
And he's like, and I go, we're just going to watch that because i wanted him to have the experience that i had but you know you you but you've always been a re in the greatest sense of the word and i don't have a better word than this but a real director snob like in the way that like you you don't work in keanu reeves vehicles you work in director vehicles It seems like to me, like you really appreciate someone who's got a real plan, a real vision, and you kind of work to service that as opposed to, yeah, I want to be the star and let's just find any director that'll do. Is that...
Yeah, I mean, that's kind of you to say. I have, obviously, as you guys know, I mean, you want a director with a vision, and I've had the chance to work with some directors who have been able to realize their vision in such extraordinary ways.
And so to be on those sets, to be working with those artists is the best, man. You know? You know, Keanu, it seems to me that you have the choices that you have seemed to make all the way through a very long career.
You have done so much different stuff. You know, certain people, you can see them, they get sort of into a theme thematically throughout their career.
You can see this sort of through line. You've done stuff.
You have just zigged and zagged and consistently done different stuff. And maybe that's, I don't know, maybe now I'm going to draw the line back to like your upbringing, sort of moving around a lot.
Like you like new experience, new stuff. You've done period stuff.
You've done the action stuff. I'm thinking of Speed with Sandy and, or, you know, and, and, and then.
They can't pigeonhole you. It's an adventure.
Bill and Ted's like, my own private Idaho. Dude, it's fucking, no, first of all, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.
I mean, that was, that was a game changer for you. One of the most quotable movies.
I mean, I was a teenager. I was 18 or something when it came out.
We were fucking dying. We watched it a million times.
But yeah, so you start and you do all these different things. And you it seems like you have like a thirst for that.
It kind of goes into like taking jobs for the right reasons. Right.
Like, is that something that are you constantly being like, yeah, I want to do something that I haven't thought of or that's scary or that's? Yeah, for sure. I mean, growing up is, you know, I always wanted to do as many different things as I could.
You know, that's the hope, right? Yeah. And I find that, you know, oftentimes lead roles have certain expectations on them and whether in any genre, you know.
then there's also times we're working in independent or being you know in supporting roles you get to kind of do some interesting kind of nooks and crannies and and and have different voices different tones and tell stories in different ways so that if you have the fortune you know if you have the opportunity to do a studio film and then an independent film or something like that, then it's the cinema, you know, getting a chance to play. And again, just tell different stories.
I love that. Play different roles and try and do that.
By the way, I don't know if anybody ever brings this up, but Dracula is one of my favorite movies of all time. I think Dracula.

I mean,

I don't know.

I got kicked in the teeth

and maybe deservedly so

for my English accent,

but they may,

anyway.

No,

one of my favorites.

One of my favorites.

But I think,

but my English accent aside,

I think that's a wonderful film.

And I think

Francis Ford Coppola

made a work of art

that was maybe a little ahead of its time. Yeah, it was amazing.
I mean the performance, Gary Oldman Oh my god, so good Oh my god Do you remind your team constantly to sort of find really interesting things as opposed to super lucrative things or star vehicles or things like that? Or can you take responsibility for that? Because it just seems like everything you do is always interesting and it's never down the middle. Well, that's very kind of you to say.
It's true. I don't bet you get a lot of offers to do things that would be a lot easier, a lot more predictable, a lot safer, a lot more lucrative perhaps.
And so has it been the same team forever and they just kind of know what makes you tick or? Yeah, that's the representation story is, is been pretty consistent with the people I've worked with over the years, but that's changed over the years as well. But I think, at least for me personally, it's always been like, kind of what I was talking about.
Like, how can we have a variety? What's the filmmaker? Where's it being made? And again, what's the script? What's the story? What's the role? Right. We'll be right back.
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And now, back to the stay.

And now, back to the show.

Well, first of all, where'd you get the bug to do it?

Because when you were in Toronto... Why are we artists?

The unlicked cubs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

Because when you were in Toronto...

The unlicked cubs.

When people like you that just transcend, you know, whatever,

You, you, you know, whatever. We just said it a million times how incredible your career is.
Is it something that finds you or you find it and why? I kind of grew up in a showbiz background. My mother was a costume designer.
I had a stepfather who you know at the time was you know i just finished directing some plays on broadway um when i was a little bean and uh and then growing up um yeah my mother says that i came to her when i was 15 and asked if it was okay if I'm an actor. At 15? At 15, and she said, yes, of course, son,

whatever you want to do. And then, and then I started, so I was pretty self-motivated and, you know, enrolled in a theater arts program, which will, you know, you might even know the, Leah Poslin's Theater Group.
I don't know if you ever came across that. I don't know, but yeah.
There was a wonderful person there named Rose Dubin. But anyway, so I was super self-motivated.
You know, I auditioned for the Performing Arts High School and I was at the library. I was reading.
I was just, you know, taking acting classes, Uda Hoggan, respect for acting. I'm 17.
Of course. You know, doing the Stanislavski voice work.
You know, I ended up getting an agent at Leopausland's because I was playing Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet. And so I guess that was my first big break.
Oh, that's cool. And you're like, this tastes pretty great.
Yeah, I got an agent. I started doing some commercials, sold some cornflakes and some Coca-Cola.
And you drove all the way out here by yourself from Toronto and you're still not an American citizen, which I think is kind of cool. I get it.
It's cool and not cool. You know, I got in my first car when I was 20 and I drove to Hollywood.
And of course, when I got here, they wanted to change my name. Really? Yeah, they were like, Keanu, it's too ethnic.
Oh, Lord. I mean, literally like the day I arrived.
I mean, I remember I had driven across the country and I remember they told me and I was like stomping up and down along the beach in Santa Monica going, what the fuck? Yeah. You know, and then I was like, okay, well, what's my name going to be? And I was like, Templeton.
Did they pitch you any names or did they ask you to go think up some? Yeah, so eventually I came up with my first and middle initial. So I was Casey Reeves.
No way, no way. For a couple of...
That would work. Yeah, Casey Reeves.
That would be good. Oh my God, please.
You'd be a great Casey. No, man, but then I had like auditions and they'd be like, Casey? And I wouldn't even look up.
And eventually I went back to my agents and I was like, I can't change my name. Like one of the first plays, one of the first plays I ever did was, I was playing John Proctor.
And one of the lines is just like, you know, because it is my name, because I can have no other. And I was the crucible.
That's the signal. I was in the crucible.
And I just thought that was just running through my head, you know. And so with Ted, was Bill and Ted's the one thing that really like, how did that come to you? And that kind of put you on the map for us to know who you were, right? Yeah.
I think for me, probably, you know, the biggest, another big break that we all need is, I was in a film called River's Edge. Oh, my God, dude.
Right, right, right, right, right. Of course.
With Crispin Glover. With the amazing, beautiful Crispin Glover.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, that movie is.
What I do for my fucking friends. and to watch that artist work you know talk about being and seeing an artist kind of deal with what the expectation of a role could be or how you could even act how you could even be in a scene you know for was a revelation.
So he was doing it completely differently than what you thought it was going to be just reading the script, yeah? I think everybody's standing there in the room. I mean, it was just, but he had the essence of what the role was.
And he had his unique voice on it, which I think we all do, right? We all have our own voice. But the way that he was performing and understanding the form of acting too, the way that he understood the camera, the way he understood choreography, and where he would go with his voice, the choices that he would make, was something to me that was revelatory.
I do love that part of what we do. You know, like the audience doesn't read the script before they see the movie, so they have no preconceived emotions.
They don't know what they don't know. So they get what they get, and they don't get upset unless somebody sucks.
And, you know, like usually people don't suck. That's true.
People that are taking these big swings, and you just kind of... But I bet if the audience would think for one second, like if you read all these lines on a page, would you imagine this kind of performance? And nine times out of ten, the answer would be no.
That's what everybody on the set is dealing with. So the instinct is to criticize it and say, oh, no, you can't play the character like that.
You know, a director will come up and say, hey, easy with that. And let's go over here and take the character this direction, you know.

But the audience is never going to do that.

So an actor just needs to push back just a little bit and say, well, hang on.

I'm still going to get us there, but it might be a little wiggly through here.

Like, just let me do that.

Let me play it like this.

And with that, you get, you know, so many artists, but you get like Christopher Walken. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah. You can't write that.
You just, that's performance and you can't give it a false negative because it sounds and looks different than what you imagined. Do you remember Crispin Glover in Wild at Heart? And he's in the, he's plays the, he's got all those flashback scenes and he's the guy who's got, he's he's got he's got cockroaches in his underwear and they and he's cutting bread he's cutting bread I just I love Wild at Heart it's one of my favorite movies you just hear I forget his character's name they're like what are you doing and then he's cutting and then he goes I'm making my lunch and he's just in this like underwear stuffed with and you're like what a wild choice and you just know that David Lynch gave him a ton of room.
But Keanu, like, you know, not that there isn't art and challenges in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and the sequel and Speed and all of these things. They are, you know, what people call, you know, popcorn movies, but they're just as difficult of roles and movies to make um were you did you have uh any kind of trepidation from going to being so trained to going into these kinds of things and worrying about the perception of them um at the time no man i was trying to work yeah yeah for sure and I you know and I love like for the script of

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, the audition process for that film is almost legendary. I mean, I think everybody read for that and it was.
Oh, really? But I got to meet Alex Winter at that time. And we just had one of those things where you're both in the waiting room to go audition and you're like, hey, hey.
And then we started talking and he's like, yeah, I ride bike because I have my helmet. I go like, I ride.
And he's like, yeah, what else? And then he's like, I went to NYU film school. And he started talking about movies.
And then we were working on on the, we started audition. And, you know, with those roles, he and I both kind of both independently came to the idea of Comedia dell'arte and the physicality of these kind of classical Comedia characters.
And so like there was Bill and there was Ted. And so how would you, what was the physicalness? How the physicalness how did they play off of each other in a kind of punch and judy kind of way but like um and so we had a we had an instant kind of vernacular and a way to approach these roles that that uh was really exciting and hilarious yeah it was just so those.
And that was something that you guys, first of all, written by the great Ed Solomon too, right? I mean, great, great writer. Chris Matheson.
Yeah, just so, and was that, once you guys kind of keyed into that, you know, like you said, there were so many people auditioning for it. Was it just like you hit it? And then you have George Carlin oh George Carlin I forgot that was in that too what was that like man man he was so nice he's super low-key he and Alex would go talk politics and do all of those things yeah one of my I mean he was so lovely I remember he uh he's one of the few people I've asked for an autograph and And I was like, sir, can I have an autograph? And he was like, sure.
And he wrote, Keanu, fuck you. And then I was like, oh, my God, George just said that to me.
I was like, cool. And I took it so personally.
And then I found out down the years that he would actually write that to other people. It wasn't special.
But it's special that you did that, man. Is there somebody that you got over your years, other than George or these people, that you were just completely blown away, starstruck by? Gosh, so many.
So many. So many.
I mean, I asked for an autograph from Lou Reed for a friend. Sure.
For a friend.

He was just like, shoo.

And then he kind of scribbled at it.

I think I gave him some pathetic piece of paper.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah.

Dude, what do you think about, it seems like, man, again, I just love,

you've just had such an interesting, like, really, really unique trajectory in longevity. And then it seems like the last couple of years, people, I feel like every five years, people re-appreciate you.
Like a new group of people are like, oh my God, Keanu Reeves. And the last couple of years, it's true.
And people go like, and then you've just become this thing in the last couple of years. Like everybody has recognized, and it's obviously because of a lifetime of being a good guy.
People are starting to really recognize that about you. And you've kind of crossed over.
And I don't mean to embarrass you into this kind of weird, look, man, whether you like it or not, and you can avert your eyes so you don't have to look at me when I say this,

you've been a sex symbol for a long time.

None of us have that weight.

Welcome to the club.

Yeah, and then you've kind of gone, so you're like an actor and a sex symbol,

and then you've now gone into this kind of like iconic status culturally.

No, I mean, by the way, you're 58. I know, you look exactly the same.
i know i'm not coming on you you look great for 58 um he is actually a great match for you though will i mean think about his his passions we would be where he came from either of us were gay we'd be perfect for each other but but i but it's it's an it must be kind of a bit of a trip because you're like, I'm still me.

And you haven't done anything different. You get up every morning and have your coffee the same way.
And then all of a sudden, right? Has it been kind of trippy in a way? Yeah. I mean, I think all of us have kind of had the experience of the before and the now with communication.
Yeah. And so I think, you know, certainly now, in the now, you know, to your point, Will, I mean, I think right now I'm, you know, nice is nice and can be super nice and I'm really grateful for it.
I do know that that is fickle yeah yeah but uh yeah but um but you know i think you know memes and stuff like that you know i remember the first time someone showed me sad keanu and i was like what is this yeah yeah you know i was used to paparazzi photos but i wasn't used to a paparazzi you know i could see how like you know i was used to tabloid communication right right yeah right and so this became that was the before and now the now is something else and you know and for me i was like i was just eating a sandwich and i was like in editing you know i was like kind of like down and like and then and i came, you know, in order to kind of self-preservation was like you can see a picture that can tell a thousand words. But that's always not going to be all the story to tell.
But in a meme, that kind of lensing or focusing and then the way it gets shared or transmitted. Anyway, long story short, that was pretty fucking funny.
Yeah. And weird.
It was funny and weird, right? It's fucking weird. It's weird.
And, like, here you are on a candle and you're carrying a lamb. You know.
Do you ever think about the kids today who are coming up who are, you know, think about, like, when you were coming up and you were doing Bill and Ted's and all these great movies and you shot out of a cannon, can you imagine having to have the scrutiny that there is now? Yeah, no, I mean, it's scrutiny and responsibilities, right? Right. I mean, I think.
And you're a kid, so you don't know anybody. You're kind of dumb.
We're all dumb when we were kids. Yeah i unfortunately kept that going but um yeah the uh the um yeah i mean i do i mean i i you know i've heard of just a lot of artists having the pressure to be on social media in order to get a job right like to even get in the room how many followers do they have yeah the following kind of aspect to the um kind of capitalistic idea of it but um yeah i mean i bet it's tough i bet it's tough but also i'm sure it's pleasurable for some people too right so i you know and there's artistry to it and involvement and creativity but um i think i think the the now is definitely more intense pressure on your private life than the before.
Yeah. I mean, the before had a lot of pressure too, but I think the now is even more.
Yeah, for sure. Well, I mean, when you said you were 58, it's like Keanu Reeves is going to be 60 in two years.
You've gotten a lot of shit done. Yeah.
You've been busy, motherfucker. Yeah.
I know, but I haven't hit the 100. I want to be, I haven't hit the 100.
I want to be 100 too. No, no, but 100 years old, but also 100 films.
100 films. Oh, how many you got? Yeah, I don't know.
I think I'm in the 70s. Yeah.
Well, you've got time. You've got time.

I've got plenty of time.

Just don't get stuck directing a bunch of them, and you know.

I know, right?

You'll lose a bunch of time.

It takes so long.

Yeah.

Wait, speaking of, though, okay, so I want to get into John Wick.

It's because I have a bunch of questions.

Okay.

So, first of all, let me just start.

We do have a connection because, and I'm kind of stating the obvious here,

we have the same personal trainer.

Yeah.

So, Patrick Murphy is fantastic. The best.
The best. I love him.
He's the greatest. And he's trained you quite a bit, as I understand, and he's nothing but incredible kind words to say about you.
And like me, he's always blown away. A lot of people are blown away by the fact that you do all your own stunts.
I don't do stunts. But you had to in the first John Wick.

No, I do action. You're falling on your back.

I do action. He doesn't call him stunts.

Oh, sorry. You do action.
First of all,

you guys have the same trainer.

I mean, is he so exhausted

after working with Keanu that by the time

he gets to you, he just...

He's deep into fuck it. There's a real fucking...

I mean, this is...

Okay, this is... Let's...
Stand up and make a bagel, Sean. Stand up and make a bagel.
Here we go. There it is.
Yeah. So anyway, but, okay, so you do your own action.
Is that right? No, it's a big difference, right? Because if I'm there, if John Wick gets hit by a car, I'm not doing that. That's a stunt.
If John Wick is in a fight scene, I can do the fighting, and if I can do a judo throw, or if I'm going to fall on the ground, but not jump off a bill. I'm sorry.
No, no, but let me just say something. Because you fall, because I've seen them, and so I'm looking at them, and it's your face falling on the ground.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's falling action. No, but that's the lens, right? So maybe I'll do the double action.
I'll do the... All right.
All right. I mean, listen, I get to ride some horses.
I get to drive some cars. I get to, like, you know, run and jump and do a lot of, you know, interactive fight sequences.
But Patrick praises you, like, no end because he just says you have such a high threshold for pain. You're like the second, if you hurt yourself, you're back in the game right away.
Like I heard or I read somewhere that you, like the first day or the first week you were shooting John Wick 2, that you injured yourself and you just got up and just kept going. Like it's like a football player.
Yeah, yeah, there is. But I mean, but that's kind of the joy of it too, isn't it? Like it's not easy.
I don't know about that. It's like not easy, man.
Once you get past 45, it's not super enjoyable. I mean, at 58.
I know, but if you can do it, right? If you can try, if you can try, if you can climb. If you can climb the mountain.
But doing it, it's got to be a lot harder now. But who cares, man? Hard, smart, whatever.
Are you having to? No, but shoot. Come on, man.
It's cold, it's raining, it's hot, it's whatever. It's like you're not comfortable, whatever, man.
Get out of here. Tell us, Keanu.
Keanu, tell Bateman, you fucking let's go, Bateman. What the fuck, dude? Fuck it.
All right, listen. But wait.
Then I heard this, from Patrick told me this, that people stop you on the street and give you feedback or ideas about the John Wick series. Oh, yeah.
You should do this. You should do that.
Is that true? Yeah, once in a while. And there's some good ideas and stuff.
Really? Yeah. I mean, I think that's what's really...
I'd be like, I think I got it. No, I really appreciate with John Wick how the world has opened up, right? With the idea of a high table.
There's so much mystery in films, but in a weird way, somehow it all makes sense and you authentically feel that everyone has a past. Yes, I love that.
Because the first one is like, you fucking kill my dog, I fucking kill you.

And you're off to the races, right?

And that's what the thing is.

And then it just kind of grew and grew and grew.

I'm kidding.

It's deeper than that.

But it grew and grew from there.

But not really.

But it's so cool.

It's really, really cool.

Yeah, it's revenge and freedom.

Is there anything you heard over the years

in that feedback from your fans? Like, what is the main thing people say? I think people try to, like, connect why it all is happening. And they try to connect, like, maybe my wife is really, is she really dead? Is she part of the high table? Is the character Winston? Is he really pulling all of the strings?

What's the Bowery King?

Is it a fever dream?

Is John Wick, is this just, you know,

so we have people trying to kind of connect dots

and try and kind of get a big overview of the story

and get to it.

It's really cool.

Yeah, it's kind of fun. And we will be right back.
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Our show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey guys, everybody should have a support system, right? Who's your support system? My support system, as you well know, talk about all the time, is Scotty.
And of course, my two besties, Will and Jason. Whenever I have a problem, an issue, I talk to them about it.
And if they're not available, I will talk to a therapist and I've been going to therapy for a long time and it's always great. So think about your favorite leaders, mentors, and idols.
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When you do a film like the John Wick films, do you, what is your, because they are so physical, what's your, when you wrap, what is your sort of recovery? Are you like, I need four weeks on a beach or four weeks at home with the doors shut or I need to go to Paris? What do you do to recover from those really grueling movies? When I get home after I finish filming them? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it starts with collapse.
Yeah. But it's an interesting thing.
I don't know if you guys have found this, but like, I don't know, coming off the road or coming off the series or, you know, the work that you're doing, you can be really tired, but then there's also a restlessness. Yeah.
I don't know if you've experienced that like you know you i'm just gonna stay home well i'm just gonna get up and go get something from the fridge or yeah you know but there can also be the periods where like don't talk to me no i don't want to work but then you're like but there is a restlessness and then once i get through the restlessness from it then it's like I go into a world that I don't quite understand in the sense of like, how do I rest or who am I? What is the meaning of life? What am I doing? You're trying to reconnect with people, you know, because making films of that kind of time scale, you're in a time machine. You know everyone around you, then you go away and you go down the river on your kind of independent journey.
They're going down a river and then you have to meet up at the other side of that distance of travel. So, so much of their lives have gone on.
Yes, you can have contact, but you're not involved, you know? And so it's kind of in a a weird way syncing up to those around you and syncing back up to your life at the same time that you're totally exhausted, restless, questioning everything. And then, of course, you have the fear and desperation of being unemployed.
Yeah. And then you're back into it it as much of a of a draw for you as it was when you were just trying to make something of your career and and something of yourself and and carve something out um because it seems like you're very um respectful of of life itself like the real stuff as as opposed to, you know, career stuff and

making fake life. And having done so much, do you start, and I'm just, I'm sort of projecting myself, right? I mean, I'm 54 and you start thinking about, well, we're closer to death than we are to birth and like, oh, sorry, no way, 54.
Well, I'm just, you know, like, at what point do you do you like what's the right ratio you know um do you think about well there are certainly i'd like to play a role like this and a role like that or direct them this or go do a play or whatever it is like do you have certain things you still want to check off yeah before you take a uh a bigger before i die life yeah before you kick? Before I kick it. Yeah, I mean, to answer your question, I guess part of it is I still love acting and I still love the creativity of it.
Yeah. And I still have ambition and hope., um, want to do good work and work with people.
And so I still want to do that. And I love the, I love the goal of a hundred.
That's a hundred. Yeah.
And I don't want to be a hundred. That would be fun.
Any, any big thing pulling you in life? Like, do you have certain places you'd like to travel to? Do you have a sport

you'd like to master?

Well, I'm hoping to do

a play on Broadway.

Yeah.

I mean, I haven't done that.

Yeah.

I'm going to do that.

That sounds good.

Like, Sean's got his play

Sean's playing

at the Tabasco Theater.

It's going to be hot.

Tabasco.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Isn't that the Belasco?

Oh, nice.

It's the Belasco.

How do you know that?

How do you know that?

It's the Tabasco. Hey, guys.
Check me out. Everything's hot.
It's a hot night at the hot theater. It's a hot theater.
You come in cool, you leave hot. Listen, I feel like this would be a generic question for anyone else other than you, but what's your favorite action movie? Oh, shit.
One of your favorite action movies. One of them, yeah.
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
And was there one... You'd think I'd have that ready up my sleeve, right? Like, oh, well, here's the list of the favorite action movies.
Come on. I don't think I do.
I don't have one. Okay, well, what do we mean by an action? Like, you know, there's action.
I mean, because it could be Bruce Lee, it could be Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon. Or it could be Raiders of the Lost Ark.
It could be Raiders of the, it could be Rollerball. Oh, is that an action movie? Rollerball, sure it is.
Or is that a science fiction? No, no, no, that was good. No, but you almost said Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Could it be Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? I mean, I don't know. Yeah, that car gets hairy.
I mean, I don't know. Sean, define.
I just can't answer question, I mean, I grew up, I mean, like, what is it? Like, the Towering Inferno. I mean, what about all of the Chariot movies, right? What about the Westerns? Gumball Rally.
What action movies are we talking about? What about, oh, I mean, I guess formative. I mean, I don't mean just people, like, moving in a scene.
I just meant, like, people fighting. I mean, like, I know where they're fighting and blowing stuff.
I'm kidding. Good for you, Keanu.
Fucking, yeah, Sean, define it. I mean, listen, Keanu, John Wick 4, right? 4.
There's 4. There's 4.
It was released in March and it's, how great is, I can't wait to see it. That's kind.
Yeah, I can't wait. I'm a big, big fan of you and those movies and all your movies.
We've taken up a lot of your time. Thank you for being here.
We love you. You're the man.
You're absolutely the man. You're very cool.
Fellas, thank you very much. Nice to meet y'all.
I'm jealous that Sean had you as his guest. You've been on my wish list for like two and a half years, so I'm so happy you're here.
I can support that. Stop ducking me out there.

You know, I'd like to spend more than just

57 minutes with you.

Nice. Cheers.
Come have dinner with us

one night, all right?

That'd be so fun.

Do you live in Los Angeles, Keanu?

I do.

Just text me the address.

All right.

We love you. Thank you for being here, pal.

Thanks for doing this, Keanu. Thanks, man.
Thank you so much. See you, pal.
Bye. Hey, guys.
It was Keanu Reeves. That was Keanu Reeves.
Did you recognize him? I did recognize him. He has not changed.
He's not changed a bit. 58 years old.
He looks exactly the same. He looks 32.
He looks 32. Jason, you look like his older brother.
You son of a bitch. You know what I mean? You wait, he kind of skated over the fact that, I know he didn't, well, I call them stunts, but action sequences, whatever.
He has too much respect for the people who do stunts. He's so unassuming.
He's so unassuming, and it's all real. But I'm not dissing them.
I'm just saying, you know, take after take after take, movie after movie after movie. Your body just, I don't understand don't understand can you say maybe can you guys relate to this when you were younger did you have like i didn't have an older brother so but i had i had guys who were like uh my dad my my godfather's uh son ward brown was my idol and he was a couple years he was like three years older than me.
And everything he did, I wanted to do.

He played hot, everything, because I looked up to him.

I was like, blah, blah, blah.

Keanu, I could see, is one of those guys that I've always,

he's a few years older, and I'm like, I just want to do it.

What's he doing?

Totally.

He's okay, right?

And he's got that, he lives in that same space for me.

I feel the same way about Pitt.

I'm like, and everything, oh, hey, man, how's that going?

What are you doing? Yeah, we're just all, wait, I won't do that. It's like a cool factor I'll never achieve.
Yeah. Well, you started out nice with you shared the same body instructor.
What's his name? Body instructor. What's it called? Shreve.
Guys, my brain's broken today.

A trainer?

Like a personal trainer?

Like a body trainer, right?

A body instructor.

Listen.

But he also seems he's so humble and unassuming.

It's real.

And it's all so real.

Doesn't need any attention.

He's almost shy.

Yet he's in a public role.

Yeah.

I find – and unassuming. It's real.
And it's all so real. Doesn't need any attention.
He's almost shy.

Yet he's in a public role.

Yeah.

I find that admirable and interesting.

I didn't even get to the thing that I said in his intro,

which was he, I wanted to ask him,

the whole point of my intro was to ask him about,

he starred in Paula Abdul's music video, Rush Rush, in the 90 the 90s and i was like why is keanu reeves in this video it was so wild i remember it was like a big deal because i was obsessed with that video and maybe he was dating her at the time i that's what i wanted to ask i was well he's not he's way no no he's way too discreet he never would Let's get back in there. This is the first time we ever want to get a guest back.

We didn't get to a lot of stuff because there's so much to talk to.

Talk to him about.

I know.

I want to talk more about the Matrix stuff, but anyway.

Well, yeah.

I mean, you did a terrible job asking questions, if I'm being honest.

Yeah, you're going to lose your nomination next year.

Yeah, you are.

Oh, you've already lied.

You've already lied.

You're never getting back to host of the year.

Well, I can probably see

that award go...

Bye!

Bye!

You're just using

a bye for bye, huh?

That's right.

Okay.

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Hi. Hi.
Hi. Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. So, listener, hi.

Before we go, we wanted to introduce the audience to someone very special today.

Please meet someone special.

Smart Less Media is doing our very first podcast called Bad Dates with the amazing, incredible Jamila Jamil. Hi.
Welcome Jamila. Do I clap myself? Yes.
Clap yourself in. Thank you.
You can give yourself the clap. Yeah, yeah.
Now, speaking of giving yourself the clap, this is called Bad Dates. Right? So...
Unbelievable segue. Yeah.
The show's called Bad Dates, yeah. And are you, well, tell the listener basically what it's about beyond what the title says.
It is relatively self-explanatory. It's just me and some of my favorite comedians and people coming on to disclose the sordid details of the silliest and weirdest and grossest dates they've ever had.
And the reason I love this subject is because it's very bonding. It never fails to ignite a conversation wherever you are.
It brings barriers down. But also, there's just a democracy to it because it just doesn't matter how hot you are, how smart, how rich, how famous.
No one is exempt from a shitty fucking date. But I would guess that you have never had a bad date because you seem to know how to communicate in any way possible to make it all work.
Like you can answer the questions or you can ask the questions. Some people just don't only know how to do one.
It comes to a standstill when I am, I'm not going to say aroused, but when I'm interested all of my skills fly out the window and really I have no way of receiving a sort of social cue so really you have to be inside of me for me to understand that you're interested. Obviously given the current climate, that's not appropriate.
But you're saying if you like the other person you start to lock up a little bit? I lock up and I

shut down. Will's got that

with Charlize Theron. He can't.

He just seizes up.

You don't need to go wide with that.

She knows. Don't worry.

She's aware. It's fine.
We all have that with

Charlize Theron. Have you had

a favorite guest yet on

Bad Dates at all? I mean, anybody

come to mind? Who could you be hinting at? I don't know. Sean, you've been a wonderful guest on the show.
Sean. Well, give us a taste, Sean.
What was your worst date? Well, I don't want to ruin it, but it starts out with me meeting a guy in a bar with workout pants in a bar, and we're both super drunk. We go back to his place and before we get

to the goods part of the story,

he asks,

can I,

do you mind if I microwave

a burrito really quick

because we go at it?

I swear to God.

Not a euphemism.

He wasn't asking you.

I would have loved

that he said,

you cool if I shower real quick

before we keep talking?

Yeah,

it was a real dream.

Sean was on with Conan O'Brien.

We've had Tig Notaro. We've had Nikki Glaser, Margaret Cho, Paul Feig.
Wait, wait, wait. Conan's been on a date? I know.
Just the one. That's the most...
Yeah. And it was a disaster, thankfully.
So he came on the show to talk about it. But it is just like, it is quite astonishing how much I've learned about a lot of very famous people.
And also just how many people have shit their pants on a. I don't know if that's the thing that any of you have literally shit their pants.
No way. It's actually like, it's the great equalizer.
The arsehole is the great equalizer of humanity. And I think it's been overlooked ballistically.
But we've uncovered it on the show. Yeah, fascinating.
I want to hear all about that. I am tuning in.
Oh, by the way, you just got Jason's attention. The dates and the hooking up, fine.
No, it's fine. But once you get into the...
Short record. Oh, the anus.
That is... The bowels of the story.
That is his fucking wheelhouse. Sean, am I right? Yeah.
Oh, for sure. Could you call the show Shit Show? I basically should.
But, I mean, there are varieties on what we're learning on the show. But it is just...
I just want people out there to know that you are not alone if you think you are. Like the stories are so wild and so funny and so absurd.
And we're not shitting on single life because God knows married life is fucking its own nightmare. But we're just trying to have an intimate, funny conversation about something that I think is deeply relatable.
My story amazingly didn't involve any shit. but I've had my own extraordinary disaster.
Sean, I've told you this story before, but I can share it with you if you want an idea. Please do.
Give us a taste. Of how much disaster is out there.
I tried to have my first ever one-night stand because I've only kissed six people, right, in my life. Come on.
But it is sadly true. I started very late and then I was slow on the uptake.
And so I thought, you know what? In my 30s, I'm going to have my hoe era that I've always dreamed of. It's going to happen.
And I got the sense that I was about to have my first ever booty call. A man that I'd been sort of casually going on a few dates with just hanging out with.
We hadn't done anything yet. He texted me and said, do you like should i come over and i was like oh 11 p.m i'm definitely going to get my first uh so you can even hear what's happening to my voice just talking about it i suddenly become like a bit more like mary poppins about the whole thing um but uh i was like oh my god i'm gonna get a casual shag it's so exciting so he he turns up at my house.m., on the dot, walks into my apartment.
I've only been living in America for a week at this point, right? So I don't know anyone or anything. And he takes three steps in and collapses face first on the ground.
And all of his front teeth, we're talking at least 12 here, shoot out of his mouth across my entire living room. So now there is blood and teeth all over my room and he's having a seizure so i've never seen someone have a seizure in real life before and i panic i think he's going to die i call 911 which is also slightly exciting because you know i'm english and they call that in the movies so i feel very hollywood right now i call 911 uh they um they send in police turn up, the fire brigade, the paramedics.
Everyone comes rolling into my house. I now have about 25 men in my apartment, which is not how I'd expected my first booty cool to go.
And you're just in lingerie, right? You were ready to go. No, not quite, but close.
And this man is covered in blood. He's split his chin all the way open and And they're trying to resuscitate him.
They managed to bring him to. And they're like, excuse me, sir.
Like, you know, have you taken anything? Do you have epilepsy? And he was like, oh, I might have had some cocaine. But he was like, but I always have cocaine.
And I was like, oh, it's a small red flag. It's not a huge one.
It was just, I think the word always at his age felt slightly disturbing. It wasn't going to be a short date.
No, exactly. And then they were like, have you taken anything else? And he was going, no.
And he's hanging on the street like this because he's got no teeth now. Oh, my God.
And so they start putting the blanket over him to take him out. And as they go past his cock, he gets a raging erection, which feels inappropriate at the moment.
And they're like, sir, have you taken anything else? Right. And he turns around and he looks directly at me and makes full eye contact and just goes, I might have had some Viagra.
Which is, I might have had some Viagra. Oh, my.
Who don't speak toothless. No, so that's a combination you don't want, huh? So then you hook up.
So I quickly sucked him off and then sent him on his way. Yeah, he got carried out on a stretcher in the middle of West Hollywood.
Quite a famous actor. So we had to put a blanket over his cock, but also one over his face.
Wow. And he's just pitching a tent through West Hollywood as he gets taken to the hospital.
So that was my first and last attempt at a booty call and have been in a long-term relationship since a week from that day. I can't wait to get you drunk one day and find out who that guy was.
I can't believe Thoreau has never told us this story. Right.
He's usually pretty open about his mistakes. Normally you'd think that he would...
That's amazing. Well that is what can happen.
I know. See, I live for those kinds of stories.
And you can see how everybody has one or two or five or ten of these horrible stories. Ask her if she's ever forgotten a line on stage.
You know? Yeah. She's got any weird theater stories.
Hey, give me a really horrible theater story. It's just as dynamic.
You'll have to tune into Smartless for that one. But for all bad date stories,

tune in to bad dates.

When do we get to start

airing these things?

So March 20th,

it'll be on Wondery Plus

and Amazon Music.

And then March 27th,

it'll be on all services.

And you can just sit back,

relax,

and enjoy the truly horrible tales

of some people's dating experiences.

It's just amazing

what we'll go through

to get a shag, isn't it? Yeah. That's true.
Well, that's a, boy, that's a quote. Well, we're lucky, Jamila, that we have you taking us through this.
This is going to be so great. We're really excited for it.
And you're our first one. You're our virgin podcast.
Yeah, you're our first one. Thank you.
No pressure at all. Thank you for signing up.
No pressure, yeah. Yeah, thanks.
I'm a massive fan of all of you, so I'm going to try my best not to let you down.

But I don't know if I can,

because this podcast is so weird and gross

that I think it's going to fly, yeah.

Well, thank you.

We're big fans.

Thank you for doing this,

and we can't wait to listen.

Likewise.

Thank you.

Thank you, hon.

Bye.

Bye, Jamila.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Smart. Bye.
Bye, Jamila. Bye.
Bye. Bye.
Smart. Less.
Smart. Less.
Hey, friends. Jason here.
We're so excited the Smart List has officially joined the Sirius XM family. We can't wait to announce

new surprise guests who we know that you'll love. If you want to be the first to hear new episodes

ad-free and a whole week early, subscribe to Sirius XM Podcasts Plus on Apple Podcasts or

visit SiriusXM.com slash podcasts plus to start your free trial today.