"Joe Buck"
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Transcript
Speaker 1
The family that vacations together stays together. At least, that was the plan.
Except now, the dastardly desk clerk is saying he can't confirm your connecting rooms. Wait, what?
Speaker 2 That's right, ma'am. You have rooms 201 and 709.
Speaker 1 No, we cannot be five floors away from our kids.
Speaker 3 Uh, the doors have double locks, they'll be fine.
Speaker 1 When you want connecting rooms confirmed before you arrive, it matters where you stay.
Speaker 3 Welcome to Hilton. I see your connecting rooms are already confirmed.
Speaker 1 Hilton, for this day.
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Speaker 3 Who knew?
Speaker 4 Go to walmart.com or download the app to get all your gifts this season.
Speaker 5 So, Sean, before we get Will in here to really screw things up,
Speaker 5 let's go ahead and let's introduce the show.
Speaker 4 I'll do like a little thing like that. Yeah, so let me just, so I'll take this one, right? Because I do it really smooth, right?
Speaker 3 Yeah, go.
Speaker 4 Hey, welcome to Smartlist. We've got a great show.
Speaker 3 This isn't a jazz.
Speaker 5 It's not a jazz show, though.
Speaker 3 It's more of like a comedy. Well, hey, welcome to Smartless.
Speaker 5 It's pretty good, but it sounded a little too Arnette.
Speaker 3 Oh.
Speaker 5 Can you take some Arnett out?
Speaker 3 Okay.
Speaker 3 Hey, welcome to Smartless. Smart
Speaker 3 Less.
Speaker 3 Smart
Speaker 3 Less.
Speaker 5 You know, I've been listening to the podcast.
Speaker 3 Oh, wow.
Speaker 5
It's not terrible. Welcome.
It's not terrible. Will,
Speaker 2 you're doing great.
Speaker 5 Thank you. Sean, we knew you were going to be fantastic, but are we doing midterm reports? I got to say,
Speaker 5 you're just, you're doing really, really, really good work. You know, you seem to be in a real slot.
Speaker 5 The voice sounds great. The questions are always snappy.
Speaker 5 Sean, you're providing incredible leadership.
Speaker 3
Let me go self-assessment. Go self-assessment.
Just quickly, Sean, hold on to that question.
Speaker 5 I've I've got issues with myself, but I feel like a lot of it can be re-recorded.
Speaker 6 So I don't feel so bad about it.
Speaker 3 Do you listen to the show?
Speaker 5 I have listened to the past couple,
Speaker 5 and
Speaker 5 it's not terrible, as I said.
Speaker 3 What do you do when you're listening to it? Like, are you driving? I'm driving.
Speaker 5 I'm driving, and I'm giggling and looking kind of psychotic at red lights, you know?
Speaker 3 I've listened to it as well when I'm driving and I've gone and then I hear somebody say something and I think, oh, it'd be really great to say this right now. And then
Speaker 3 one of us says it.
Speaker 3 I had that same thought.
Speaker 5
Yeah, so it says it. I was like, oh, boy, I wish I would say something.
And then, boom, I said the exact thing. Like, huh, I guess my brain works the same as it worked like I'm.
Speaker 4 I don't need to play it back because I was there.
Speaker 5 That's the way I was thinking for
Speaker 3 like all the way up until a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 5 How about that? And yeah, I was stuck in some real traffic and I was like, huh, let's find Smartlist.
Speaker 5 And then I got a little embarrassed because I pulled my car in, a valet guy took it, and the Smartlist thing was on my
Speaker 5 radio thing.
Speaker 3
And I was like, uh-oh, this is the thing. I did the same thing.
I listened to it.
Speaker 5 How do I change this?
Speaker 3
I did the same thing, and I pulled in, and I thought, oh, my gosh. And I ripped my phone off, turned off Bluetooth clumsily.
I'm like, please don't.
Speaker 4 People are either, people are going to love us or hate us for talking about how much we love ourselves.
Speaker 3
I didn't say I loved it. I just said I've listened to it.
So, all right. So, we, we, um,
Speaker 3 is it Justin Bateman? No, it's Jason.
Speaker 4 Oh, my God. Justin.
Speaker 3 I know. You know, a lot of people do make, before we get into your guests, one thing I do want to say, people do make that mistake of,
Speaker 3 I've been privy to it, where people go, Justin, I'm a big fan, right? I mean, it happens quite a lot.
Speaker 5 It happens about once a week.
Speaker 4 Why do they not know Justin?
Speaker 5 I think it's a combo between my name and my sister's name, Justine.
Speaker 5 Right.
Speaker 5 Will, I think you've called me Justin half a dozen times.
Speaker 3 That's not true.
Speaker 5 That's not true.
Speaker 3 I did say when you got your, when, when you got your, your, your,
Speaker 3 Jason got his big star on the, on the Hollywood Walk of Fame a couple years back.
Speaker 5 And they misspelled, it says Justin Bateman on the star. No, you're joking.
Speaker 3
I know it's written in some. He is joking.
But I did say when he asked me to say a few words, I was amongst a few people who said a few words.
Speaker 3 And I did say, you know, I remember I said the first time I really took notice of Jason was years ago I was watching Family Ties and I see Justine Bateman and I said to myself, man, I wonder if she's got a brother.
Speaker 3 See, I have zero recollection of that because i was in such a blackout i know you were during that ceremony like i mean that's a crazy it was fun it was fun for us and the girls were your girls were there and your and amanda and just all your bunch of it's an honor it was neat it was definitely and we were able to celebrate you yeah you know it was nice Why did you not want Sean there?
Speaker 3 Because he was on the list and you crossed him off. What was the thing that I was doing?
Speaker 4 And I showed up, but they kept me behind the barriers.
Speaker 3 And they kept you behind the barrier and then you got arrested briefly.
Speaker 5 Yeah, it was close enough.
Speaker 3 It was close enough.
Speaker 3
Wait, wait, we're really quit. Last thing.
Where is it located?
Speaker 5
It is on Hollywood Boulevard. I believe it is east of Vine on the north side of the street.
I've not been there since the ceremony because I'm too.
Speaker 3
No drive-bys. You never do a drive-by with your darkened windows.
You never do a drive-by. Nice drive.
Speaker 5
I told the driver to slow down a little bit. How about next time I get real sad? I should just go there and just sit crisscross applesauce on it.
And
Speaker 4 we know where to find you.
Speaker 3 Get some kids. If it's never goes missing we know where he is yeah just fill the bucket a little bit
Speaker 5 um hey gang today yes oh we have a fellow we could really learn from okay now we're trying to entertain folks with talking sure we are okay with just straight talking this guy is a professional talker he's a respected talker he's an awarded talker seven emmys what for talking wow his subject get ready sean sports And not just any sports.
Speaker 3 These are top sports.
Speaker 5 This man has been the play-by-play announcer for an astonishing six Super Bowls.
Speaker 3 Cliff Trysdale.
Speaker 5
And 23 World Series. He's smart.
He's handsome. He's an amateur pilot, opera singer, and glass blower, but a professional husband, father, and friend.
America, this is your own
Speaker 3
Joe Buck. No.
Joe Buck. I even know.
Get in here. Joe Buck.
Oh, Sean. I'm sorry.
No, I'm sorry.
Speaker 5 Listen, Sean's got questions.
Speaker 4 I got questions for you. I know who you are.
Speaker 3
Wow. He does.
It's been my nightmare since I
Speaker 3 begged Justin to come on this.
Speaker 3 It's been my nightmare to be revealed, and then all of a sudden, everybody's like,
Speaker 3 no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 3 Here I am. Wow.
Speaker 3 Sorry.
Speaker 5 I have noticed from listening to the show a couple of times
Speaker 5 that I end up talking about.
Speaker 6 Your own show, you mean?
Speaker 5 Our own own show I start out talking about our guests' appearance and it's a little weird but I can't help it because I'm looking at you right look at the shoulders on you now we don't usually see those under the suit but what do you build houses on the weekends I do look at you yes good for you
Speaker 3 got a little workout routine
Speaker 3 I do yeah I'll throw some weight on it did you blast backs and buys today I did not I barely just crawled out of bed I'm in Mexico it is uh we are recording this on a Saturday morning yeah I realize that when I'm on with the likes of you, Saturday morning doesn't really feel any different than a Tuesday morning or a Wednesday morning.
Speaker 3 Saturday every day for us.
Speaker 3
So, yeah, last night I went to a wedding. I'm in Mexico.
I'm
Speaker 3
is that why you're in Mexico because of the wedding? We're actually between homes in my hometown of St. Louis.
So we're waiting for a new home to be ready. And my wife
Speaker 3
of seven years and our three-year-old twin boys are now down here in Mexico with me for the better part of five weeks. So we're just kind of hanging out down here.
Wow. So, okay.
Speaker 5 So, you have a five-week wait on the new house. Congratulations.
Speaker 5 You, you, you have, was it just coincidence that you knew somebody that was getting married down there, or you are you a bit of a motherfucker?
Speaker 3
Total coincidence. We absolutely, total crasher.
Yeah, we, so Sean Payton, the head coach of the New Orleans Saints,
Speaker 3 a name drop. An incredible running back, by the way.
Speaker 3 Yes, different guy, but close.
Speaker 3 And I know you're kidding. And
Speaker 3 I found out I saw these people around the place where we have our house here. And I said, well, what's everybody doing down here? Well, we're here for Sean Payton's wedding.
Speaker 3 So I text Sean Payton and I said, hey, what time's the wedding? What do we wear? You know,
Speaker 3
what kind of attire is it? Beach casual, I'm sure. Ha, ha, ha.
Just kidding. Have a great wedding.
Good luck to you guys. And then it was, you got to come.
Speaker 3
And then it was, then I felt horrible because he's over the top. I mean, I feel so bad.
I didn't know you were down here. So we ended up going last night, my wife and I.
And
Speaker 3
we basically did crash Sean Payton's wedding. But let's be honest, Joe, hi, Joe.
Good to meet you, man. And I'm a fan, and I want to get into all that, but let's be honest about the original text.
Speaker 3 Like, I hear you're getting married. And even though it's a joke, ha ha, let's be really, let's get real for a second.
Speaker 3 You wanted the invite.
Speaker 3
I did. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
That's now.
Speaker 5 I, I, this is anathema to anything I would consider enjoyable. A wedding, isn't a wedding something that, that most red-blooded knuckle-dragging males want to try to avoid attending?
Speaker 3
That's true, but it's 52. It's been a long time.
Sean's 57. This is like the next go-around.
I've had my own second go-around.
Speaker 3 So this was kind of a different wedding. The actual ceremony lasted seven minutes, and then it was down onto the beach, and everybody's having fun.
Speaker 3 Joe, you got to know that Jason,
Speaker 3 we've been through this before. Jason asked me not to invite him to my wedding,
Speaker 3
and I didn't. And then 10, 12 years later, it's like, I can't believe you didn't invite me to your wedding.
I'm like, no, you asked me not to invite him.
Speaker 5 It's like writing no gifts on an invite, and you know, you expect people to bring something.
Speaker 4 Wait, why, why, Jay, why do you, why do you not like weddings?
Speaker 5 Well, because they're just
Speaker 5 stiff, stodgy, scheduled,
Speaker 3 awkward, long.
Speaker 3 You know why? Because it's not about him.
Speaker 5 And I don't drink anymore. There it is.
Speaker 3 There it is.
Speaker 5 If you drink, boy,
Speaker 5 I'd be a pastor or a reverend or who's the person that does the officiating?
Speaker 3
Either one. Either one works.
So what I'm saying is, because we went to a wedding and because my wife and I do drink,
Speaker 3
this morning came early. So I had to clear the cobwebs.
I have to, right now, the three-year-old twins are bound and gagged in the back of our house so that they don't make noise on this podcast.
Speaker 3
Sure. Well, just don't worry.
It came early as Jason's nickname. Now listen, let me ask you this, Joe.
Speaker 3 Joe, let me ask you a question because you've got the kids there and you went to the wedding and we know Jason hates a wedding.
Speaker 3 And it brings up a thing that I'm avoiding today myself.
Speaker 3 There were three kids' birthday parties I could have gone to today that I was invited to, two of which are for one-year-olds. I have a long-standing rule.
Speaker 3
If you invite me to a one-year-old's birthday party, it means you don't like me. Because I think, first of all, the fucking kid's not going to remember.
And I don't want, you know, sorry, the child.
Speaker 3
Well, I'm saying that to my wife all the time. This is her first go-around with kids.
I have 25 and 22-year-old daughters. So the idea of making it even a point
Speaker 3 to run back home if we're out of town or if we're working to go to the actual boy's birthday on the 26th of April,
Speaker 3 that doesn't really count
Speaker 3
until they can count. That doesn't count until they're at least six.
And then they can go, oh, today's my birthday. They have no clue.
They have no clue. What's happening?
Speaker 3 And I think that there are a lot of people who are going to say, oh, what a grumpy, what a grumpy dude. But I really believe.
Speaker 3 Same here. I believe that we should not have to go to children's birthday parties before they know, realize that.
Speaker 5 I completely agree.
Speaker 3 Even if they're your own kids, I agree.
Speaker 5 This reminds me of something somewhat depressing, you guys and listener,
Speaker 5 not super related, but did you know that, like, I'm 52, right? In January, I'm going to be 53, but that means that I have finished the 53rd year. Like, I'm in the 53rd year right now.
Speaker 5 And in January, when you say, hey, happy birthday, you're 53. It means I just finished the 53rd year.
Speaker 3 Very good point. Do you know that?
Speaker 5 Like, when you turn one, you have lived one year. Will, don't look at me like you've never thought of this before.
Speaker 3 I've thought about it. But you haven't.
Speaker 3 Your brain doesn't work as fine as mine does i think it's interesting of course i have no my mom my mom who who uh is
Speaker 3 a lot
Speaker 3 she goes she'll say all the time like you're now in your 51st year and i'm like yeah also she's bright not you constantly so well yeah Anyway,
Speaker 3 so you're saying that that just adds to your depression because you're actually one year older than you're saying. I'm actually a full year older.
Speaker 5 Yeah. Joe, how, how young a guy are you?
Speaker 3 I am the same age as you. All right.
Speaker 3 I'm 50. I'm in my 53rd year.
Speaker 5 Okay. And so you've been at this a long time, a very long time.
Speaker 5 When you first thought about becoming a broadcaster, obviously it was at a time probably much younger than anybody starts thinking about a career because you're in the middle of the day.
Speaker 3
It was like third trimester. When I was in the third trimester, I was on my way out.
I was like, I think I want to do what my dad did.
Speaker 4 You came out with a microphone in your hand.
Speaker 5 So for sean and for tracy uh his dad jack uh will broadcaster for over what 60 years i want to say yeah i mean yeah definitely over 50 he was with the cardinals for for 50 years
Speaker 5 and and and how awesome that you uh you followed in his footsteps and i think one could easily argue surpassed um his accomplishments now i say that to his grave once a year
Speaker 3 we're very very soon after the anniversary of his passing uh and uh that was back in 02 and i usually make a pilgrimage out there and go hey
Speaker 3 the old kid want up you look at me look at me now is that is that something that you uh felt that you
Speaker 3 did you feel like you didn't have any options because you just wanted to do what dad was or did you did you have passion for it at a young age no i had passion for it i think the the answer to that is no matter what your parent does and i was really close so i i can joke about that stuff with my dad because I was one of the few people that could actually make him laugh.
Speaker 3
So he took me on road trips when I was five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10 years old. I was in every National League city by the time I was 12.
I was like his little traveling partner.
Speaker 3 And he and I were more best friends than we were the typical father and son. So
Speaker 3 to answer the question, I think when your parent does something that as a kid, if you're close to that parent, you see
Speaker 3 they love,
Speaker 3 your natural natural inclination is to go, well, man, my dad can't wait to go to work every day. That's what I want to do.
Speaker 3 And then when it's something so fun, I mean, I spent every summer down at Bush Stadium and being on the, you know, inside of the ropes and playing catch in the outfield and shagging fly balls during batting practice and bat buoying and doing all that other stuff.
Speaker 3 And then sitting in the booth all night and basically going through a master's class every night of the summer, listening to the actual radio broadcast in a headphone, watching my dad do it, watching the game myself.
Speaker 3
It just was, I was immersed in it to the point where, yeah, I just didn't want to be anything else. I just wanted to be him.
I get that.
Speaker 5 And what about meeting some of these early heroes of yours, these athletes? Was it, what about the saying, never meet your heroes? Did something go south at any point, or was it all great?
Speaker 3 There were many times when I was nine, 10, 11 years old, and we would walk by the hotel bar and I would see a player with somebody that didn't look a lot like his wife
Speaker 3
curled up around a drink. And I'd be like, Dad, that just put your head down, kid, and keep walking.
That's what he would say. And that was a pretty good Jack Buck.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3
Well, that came, you know, that's when kids would ask him, you know, how do you get into broadcasting, Mr. Buck? I want to be a broadcaster.
I love the Cardinals. I love what you do.
Start smoking.
Speaker 3 That was his advice, which I don't condemn.
Speaker 5 Did you smoke a bit growing up?
Speaker 3
I never smoked. I was the squarest, dorkiest kid.
And I think the reason why
Speaker 3 is I didn't want to, there was so my dad's time at home was so fleeting during the high points of the summer and the fall when he was doing NFL games.
Speaker 3 I didn't want to waste that time being in trouble. So not that, you know, I didn't want to, oh, mom found Joey with a pack of Marlboro lights and now I'm grounded.
Speaker 3 I didn't want to waste any time that I could have with him out of the house when he was home. So I just didn't do, I didn't really get in trouble as a kid.
Speaker 5 So him being out of the house so much, I would imagine just about every weekend for six months.
Speaker 5 Do you feel, and I'm projecting here, because like my, my mom was a stewardess for Pan Am for 30 years. So her being
Speaker 5 flight attendant nowadays, yes. So
Speaker 5 two weeks of every month, basically she was out.
Speaker 5 And so now with all of the traveling I do, I basically work in Atlanta during the week and I'm home on the weekends.
Speaker 3 Joe used to see your mom sometimes in the player bar.
Speaker 3 He did.
Speaker 3 Man, did she love Pedro Guerrero? Man.
Speaker 3 In fact, I see a little bit of Pedro in you.
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Speaker 3 And now, back to the show.
Speaker 5 So it helps with my guilt because I feel like it's just sort of normal for a parent to be gone all the time. Do you feel the same way? Because you got kids and you're gone all the time.
Speaker 5 How do you do it?
Speaker 3 The best thing I can say to that, and we talk about this on our own podcast, which you were nice enough to be on.
Speaker 5
Let's tell Tracy what that's called. Daddy Issues.
It's called Daddy Issues. And you can find that where you find your favorite podcasts.
Sure. Is that right? And your co-host?
Speaker 3 My co-host is Oliver Hudson,
Speaker 3 who has
Speaker 3
the lot in life of being Cade Hudson's brother and Goldie Hahn's son and Kurt Russell's stepson. And you talk about daddy issues.
He has mommy issues. He has sister issues.
Speaker 5 So he's got a left-handed golf game up there with Phil Nicholson.
Speaker 3 Yeah, no, he does. And,
Speaker 3
you know, as I tell him, because he's just obsessed. His dad left him before he was 10 and he was just bound and determined to never be that dad.
And so he's gone the entire opposite way.
Speaker 3 And he won't accept work sometimes if it's going to take him away from his kids. My dad, as I said, was my best friend.
Speaker 3 I took advantage of all the opportunities his job gave myself and my sister when we were little. And then when he was in town, or if it had been a long time, he'd take me on the road.
Speaker 3 If he and I could become best friends and I worship the ground he walked on, it can be done. It's just what you do with your time when you're home.
Speaker 5 So what you're implying is you're going to take twin boys on the road with you as soon as they're old enough to travel.
Speaker 3
No, I'm too old. I'm too old for that.
I'm too old really to be their parent. And I have
Speaker 3 a really
Speaker 3 long-standing now, three-year argument with my wife where she is so tired of hearing me say, I'm 52. I've done this before.
Speaker 3 Can I get a fucking break here? Can I just lay down? I just
Speaker 3
got a one-year-old. I'm with you on that, Jeff.
Oh, my God. But my wife's so sick.
And I keep saying my wife, Michelle, who's an avid listener. And as I told Jason when he was on our podcast, she has
Speaker 3 one of those newfangled electric cars. And on the screen, which is the size of a flat screen in a bar, when you get into the car, it used to have my podcast on it.
Speaker 3
Like, oh, she left off at the 43-minute mark. And now it's just smartless, smartless, smartless.
And she, I don't know.
Speaker 3 Jason's a big fan of the smartless too.
Speaker 3 Yeah, I heard that at the time. You know, I remember I worked with Bo Bridges years ago, and he would talk about when
Speaker 3 he did that show with his dad Lloyd and his brother Jeff.
Speaker 3 They did that show
Speaker 3 SeaQuest.
Speaker 5 Do you remember that? Sea Wolf?
Speaker 3
Not Sea Wolf, not Airwolf. You're thinking.
Airwolf. The one that was shot in Palos Verdes.
The one that was shot. They were in the ocean all the time and they were swimming.
Yeah, it's
Speaker 3 like
Speaker 3
we got to go to work with our dad every day. It was the greatest.
And that really, you know, now, of course, I don't, my kids don't come to work with me every day.
Speaker 3 You're not going to take your kids to work with you. No, but I'm kind of stuck in the middle too, where like I do.
Speaker 5 Joe's not going to do it either.
Speaker 3 No.
Speaker 3 I'll be retired by the time they're going to get anything out of it. I will have ridden off into the sunset.
Speaker 5 No.
Speaker 3 Are you going to retire? You're never going to retire.
Speaker 5 Come on. You're just getting started.
Speaker 3 I don't know.
Speaker 5 How old was your dad when he stopped?
Speaker 3 He stopped like the minute he died.
Speaker 5 Which was what? How old is he?
Speaker 3
Well, that'll put an end to it for sure. It slows you down.
It slows you down.
Speaker 5 How old was he? Was he 80?
Speaker 3 He was 78.
Speaker 5 78.
Speaker 3
He left a bank with the DMC'd, went to the hospital in St. Louis for lung cancer surgery and basically never got out.
So he worked the last day he was outside of a hospital. Oh, man.
Speaker 3 He did a fundraiser and then went into the hospital and seven months later, he died.
Speaker 5 You've got 25 years left and you don't even smoke. So that's at a minimum.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Great.
It's not happening. We're excited.
I'm not growing old in the booth. In fact, and nobody cares.
Speaker 3 I mean, that was my dad's joke forever was, you know, I'm going to die in the booth someday. And there are going to be two guys walking down the street in St.
Speaker 3 Louis, and one guy's going to turn to the Knacks and say, hey, did you listen to the game last night? Jack Buck died in the fourth inning. And the other guy will say, oh, did the Cardinals win?
Speaker 5 Nobody cares.
Speaker 5 I know what you're implying here, and it's going to sound like smoke, but I disagree with you. I really care who's announcing my sports.
Speaker 5 And specifically, I love what you do because I don't know whether it's an acting talent or whether it's genuine, but you seem so relaxed and so casual and you so easily relay the play-by-play information that I need to enjoy the game.
Speaker 5 And
Speaker 5 you actually alleviate stress for me because watching sports and caring about sports can be stressful, whether you're winning or losing.
Speaker 5 The fact that you're kind of have a steady hand at 10 and 2 and you're taking us through the game,
Speaker 5 not a lot of people do it like you.
Speaker 3
Well, thank you. And when I said I agree, I agree that it can be stressful watching.
And I'm a huge St. Louis Blues fan.
I'm a hockey fan. And
Speaker 3 go ahead.
Speaker 3 Well, this is my question for you.
Speaker 3 Sorry, you keep going, and then I'm going to follow up.
Speaker 5 He's the guest.
Speaker 3 Shut your mouth. God.
Speaker 3
Your question took 20 fucking minutes. Go ahead.
It's well articulated.
Speaker 3
Go, Joe. No, it's not.
Go, Joe.
Speaker 5 Pick it up. Cut him off.
Speaker 3
Explain your own question. Sorry, Joe.
No, it's okay, Will.
Speaker 3
So you're right. It is stressful.
And I try to just get out of the way. And sometimes that pisses people off.
Sometimes, oh, he, you know, he thinks he's too cool, he doesn't care, he's not excited.
Speaker 3 It's actually the opposite. I
Speaker 3
try to highlight the game so much, and it's TV. It's different if you're doing the radio.
It's different, you have to say everything, you have to give all the detail.
Speaker 3 TV is it's it's almost redundant to be the play-by-play guy on TV. You see a ground ball to the shortstop, you don't need me doing the TV to go ground ball to the shortstop.
Speaker 3 You just, you, you can kind of hit different notes in it and just get out of the way. And when a home crowd is going crazy, I love just kind of saying home run, you know, Dodgers are up five to two.
Speaker 3
And then that sounds good. Our director goes, you know, that's when he goes to work.
His name's Matt Gangle, and he's showing, you know, you and the highly expensive seats down front.
Speaker 3 And he's showing Burt Sugarman, and he's showing Mary Hart, and he's showing all of these people.
Speaker 5 And Hartwell, just, just, just
Speaker 3
peanuts back. Right.
Thinking about what club club opening you're going to later that night.
Speaker 3 Well, Matt Gangle, first of all, I want to give a shout out to Matt because I want Matt to highlight me next time I'm at an event.
Speaker 3 It's done.
Speaker 3
He sounds like a great guy and a very great guy. Sounds like a job for Lewis Kay, but we'll lose that.
Sounds like a job for Louis Kay.
Speaker 3 Is this Lewis's first nod on the
Speaker 3
live FAST? It shouldn't be. It shouldn't be.
I mean, what kind of person are you? So listen, so, Joe, so I was going to, you mentioned the St. Louis Blues.
Speaker 3 There are a couple of things I want to talk about. A, Sean's interest was piqued when we talked about all this dad stuff, and he really, and I want to get into that because it's, no, no, I do.
Speaker 3 Because this is something that's very interesting. We've talked a lot about on the podcast recently, and I know that it's something that you, you, you know, that is
Speaker 3 a conversation, sort of an ongoing conversation that we've been having for a while.
Speaker 3
But you mentioned hockey. What are the...
What are the sports? Because you call primarily baseball and football.
Speaker 3
You're on the baseball over there on the Fox, and then you're on the football with T. Aikman.
Yes.
Speaker 3 What
Speaker 3 sports do you watch with Troy Aikman? Sorry. Thank you, Sean.
Speaker 3 What sports do you enjoy? If you're going to turn the TV on, what sport will you turn the TV on to watch? For instance, Al Michaels sits behind Louis Kay at the Kings games.
Speaker 3
That's where his tickets are. And I see, sometimes I go with Lewis, and I sit there and I talk to Al.
He's a great guy. He loves Lee.
Speaker 3 He keeps saying, do you believe in miracles at the end of every game? And as a Canadian, I think, like, yeah, but none of our NHL players were playing.
Speaker 3 Can you imagine if who would have been playing for Team Canada in 1980? You would have had Mike Bossy, you would have had Wayne Gretzky, you would have had. Anyway, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 3
Just get over it. Just get over it.
Let us have our moment. You guys can have our moment.
Can we just have our moment? You know, you've been hogging that moment forever. But
Speaker 3 what sport will you turn the TV on to watch? What do you love?
Speaker 3
to watch other than baseball and football? Hockey or golf. And I never understood golf as a kid.
I love to play golf, but I never understood it on TV. I got to call five U.S.
Speaker 3 Opens, which was a thrill. Wait, really?
Speaker 4 Tell me something, Joe. Psychologically, what is the thrill?
Speaker 3 Welcome.
Speaker 3 What is the thrill of watching golf on TV? No, it's a chance to just go to sleep.
Speaker 3 That was going to be my best friend. That's what I was going to say.
Speaker 3 So as the aforementioned in my 53rd year father of three-year-old twin boys, if there's any moment to just kind of power down and go see see 3PO just freezing out and
Speaker 3 that's golf.
Speaker 3 Right, right.
Speaker 5 Okay. And then they jump on you.
Speaker 3
And then they jump on me. And they, you know, one of my kids at his birthday party, I'm not going to name him.
It could be one of two. It could be Blake or Wyatt bit me.
in the crotch area when he was
Speaker 3 this that's what made me think of it uh when you said hit me i i've actually been bitten in my uh very very private area whoa with his head but he was scared of a life-size, real moving Batman that was his uncle coming to his birthday party.
Speaker 3 I was holding a cup of coffee. He buries crying and buried his head in my crotch
Speaker 3 and then went one more.
Speaker 3
Okay, hang on a second. Hang on a second.
Hang on a second. So this birthday party is in the morning because you're having a coffee.
It was midday.
Speaker 5
And then Michelle's brother shows up and says, hey, I got this new suit. I'm working kids' parties.
Right. Can I get a couple bucks?
Speaker 3
I bought the suit. You bought the suit.
So it's Michelle's brother? This is Michelle's brother? This is my wife's brother. Yeah.
I made my brother-in-law get into the suit that I got on Amazon.
Speaker 3
It was a great suit. I just didn't want to do it.
And I just said, hey, why don't you run around from the side of the house? And the next thing you know, I have an open wound on the head of my friend.
Speaker 4 So, Joe, listen, I want to go back to
Speaker 4 the art of what you do because I think it is kind of amazing anybody who does what you do to stay that hyper-focused every single game.
Speaker 4 And you have to know like the stats and the players and the plays. And doesn't it get exhausting after a while to be that laser focused on every single aspect of every game, every day?
Speaker 3 There have been ex-players right off the field. Ronnie Lott is a guy that stands out to me that
Speaker 3 safety for the San Francisco 49ers.
Speaker 5 Only has nine fingers.
Speaker 3
Yes. Yes.
Well, nine and a half.
Speaker 5 Tell Sean that story. That'll impress him.
Speaker 3 He lost the tip of his finger in it. Didn't Didn't lose it.
Speaker 5 Voluntarily said, let's take it off.
Speaker 3
Right. Yeah.
Right. And it, it, yeah.
Why?
Speaker 5
Correct me if I'm wrong. He got his pinky smashed between two helmets.
The doctor said, we cannot save your finger. You can't play football anymore or you can have it chopped off.
Speaker 5 He said, go ahead and chop it off. I got to keep playing.
Speaker 3 I think it was just the tip.
Speaker 5 Hang on, man. Let's keep it clear.
Speaker 3 When you say just the tip, this is a real thing. This is a family podcast.
Speaker 3 People like Michelle listening here. I'm pointing out my mom is listening.
Speaker 3
Jesus Christ. I'm sorry.
It's just the tip of the finger. Do I need to be more specific? Yes.
Okay. So he got off the field, went into the booth, and he said that was harder for me than playing.
Speaker 3
I have never had to concentrate longer in my life for three hours. And now more than ever with social media and, oh, my God, if you make a mistake.
And oh, my God, if you just misspeak somehow. And,
Speaker 3 you know, you say something that you didn't mean. It's fun, right?
Speaker 3 So fun it would a what a time yeah what an incredible time people say i think we don't have enough social media we we ought to double it it's so great and i want to hear from everybody but isn't it kind of like a tree in the forest though like if you don't look at the comments if you don't go on social media does it really exist if i did i would quit if i did and i and i'm so fragile as i told you on our podcast jason from being the fat fuck getting getting daddy issues the getting picked on yeah let's get that right Available wherever you get your podcast.
Speaker 3
Is being picked on as a kid. When I read that stuff, I'm not saying people weren't picked on as kids.
Most of us were for some reason, but it just goes right back into that.
Speaker 3
And so I'm always trying to please. I'm always trying to be.
Well, let it go, Joe. The picked on kids movement is fucking mad at you right now.
Speaker 3 Now that you're allowed to be a little bit more.
Speaker 5 But why do I see on the wiki page here that you're famously criticized and tormented? I've never heard any of that. I I don't know what the hell they're why.
Speaker 3 Because you're barely on, you just stick your toe into the social media.
Speaker 5 But is that a thing?
Speaker 5 Are you really criticized? Like, you're at the top of your field. Who's criticizing you?
Speaker 3
Because, you know, for you, going to bed in your Dodger PJs every night, you all season long. He's got him on right now.
Oh, yeah, I know. There's an LA somewhere on there.
Speaker 3
All year long, you hear your TV announcers do the games basically as a Dodger fan. And that's how it's supposed to be.
That's what I used to do as a Cardinal announcer.
Speaker 5 Joe Davis and Oral just bring it home to me every day.
Speaker 3 And if the Dodgers hit a home run, they're thrilled. If the Dodgers give up a home run and now the Dodgers are losing, the call goes down.
Speaker 3 I have to get excited for both teams because I'm not there representing either team. I'm there representing, you know,
Speaker 3 Switzerland.
Speaker 3 And I'm so I don't care who wins, but when fans hear the announcer on TV get excited for the other team hitting a home run, they get pissed off and and I get it so you're saying you get excited when a cardinal hits a home run even though it's a national broadcast no that's not at all what I'm saying I don't see how you can even derive that here comes the quote that's the direct quote yes and thanks a lot uh we thank you joe we've got the quote we wanted and we've got the controversy we wanted to start do you have lewis on speed dial i'd like to talk to lewis right now i'd like to phone a friend so joe let me ask you one question so going back so your dad you're you you loved what your dad did you wanted to emulate your dad and you wanted to spend time with your dad, which makes total sense.
Speaker 3 But who other than your dad
Speaker 3 did you look up to or do you currently look up to as in terms of broadcasters in sports or broadcasters in general or people that do you have idols in that world?
Speaker 3
Al Michaels, if Al Michaels is doing it, I want to listen to it. And it's just very pleasing to my ear.
Vin Scully is the greatest baseball broadcaster of all time.
Speaker 3 The mind-blowing thing to me is that he worked himself even to the bitter end when he was doing the games. And that's just, that's a lot.
Speaker 5 What about Pat Semarall and John Madden?
Speaker 3
Oh, my God. So good.
And
Speaker 3
Troy and Chris Collinsworth and I took their place at Fox. And that was, you know, it was hard to kind of step in.
And my dad was my broadcast partner for over 10 years.
Speaker 3 And I, you know, I didn't know what to call him on the air. Was it dad? Was it Jack? Was it hey you?
Speaker 3
Which is kind of what it became. I just didn't reference him by.
Right.
Speaker 4 That's how Jason references all the people that work on his crew, but go ahead.
Speaker 3 And so
Speaker 3 and so then we took over for Pat and John, and I think they are, to me, and again, I'm in my 53rd year, so that hits at my wheelhouse of what a big game in the NFL sounded like.
Speaker 3 It was Pat Sommerall doing his Montana rice
Speaker 3 touchdown. And then John doing his, he was the great straight man to John's kind of bam, boom, biff.
Speaker 5 You do any vocal warm-ups, preparation before you go, any sort of ritual? Will likes to gargle all kinds of things before he does his candy records and truck records. He must.
Speaker 3 I've never heard a more glorious voice than Will.
Speaker 5 You do anything other than just kind of show up and say,
Speaker 5 I think you say, you have a war cry, let's do this or let's get after it or something.
Speaker 3 Yeah, it's definitely in the category of a war cry. I walk in and go, let's do this.
Speaker 3 And then the guy follows me around,
Speaker 3 you need a catchphrase.
Speaker 3 You need to, right, to really cement your place because you're there. You're going to be on the Mount Rushmore of American sports broadcasters, but we need to establish a kick-ass.
Speaker 3
It's like, hey, Joe Bucker for Fox Sports. Here we go.
It's football time.
Speaker 3 You know what I mean? Like something like that.
Speaker 5 It's time for Fox football. So you can incorporate a Vince Cully there.
Speaker 3 Time. Yeah.
Speaker 4 So when you're listening to young announcers, what are some of the things that, you know, in your opinion, they haven't quite figured out yet?
Speaker 3 Don't be scared to not talk. Don't be scared of the silence.
Speaker 3 I think
Speaker 3 it's inherent within all of us, whatever we do, that if you're not talking. or you're not reacting, it's in your mind, you're telling the audience you don't know what to do.
Speaker 3 And I think a lot of times, especially when with technology and crowd mics being what they are and that ambient sound, you don't need to fill up every second with your voice. Let it
Speaker 5
feel like he's talking to me. He's looking right at me.
I think he's talking about it.
Speaker 3
Well, you're fucking talking. You just started immediately started talking.
Was that out loud?
Speaker 3
No, no, no. Case in point.
Did I say that out loud? When did Jason first start annoying you to become his friend? Because you're a baseball announcer. So how did he get your number?
Speaker 3
What was the thing? And how did he casually be like, hey, we should text each other and start fucking bothering you? We had a mediator. We had a mediator.
He was Hartwell,
Speaker 3 Let him talk. Let Joe talk.
Speaker 3
We had a mediator. His name's Hartwell.
Yeah, Jason's buddy Hartwell. So I'd heard, I heard Jason, he won't remember this, on Stern talking about washing his hands in a bathroom.
Speaker 3 And he was up in the press box area
Speaker 3 and he was in the media area washing. I went into, I went scrambling in there to pee.
Speaker 3 That's the other part of broadcasting they don't tell you. If there's stage fright in your life, don't even apply because
Speaker 3
you have a minute and a half to go to the bathroom and there's running involved. Right.
So you have to stay cardiovascularly in tune with yourself.
Speaker 3 Never a diaper or a bottle under the army.
Speaker 3 I have peed in a bottle while calling an NFL touchdown. I swear to God.
Speaker 3 I was peeing in a trash can and they came back.
Speaker 5 You don't have to brag, okay?
Speaker 3
You don't have to brag. It's true.
That's crazy. They handed me like a little water bottle.
I'm like, I can't, the half wouldn't end.
Speaker 5 So that's not going to do it. Give me that.
Speaker 3 And I was wearing a parka because it was freezing. It was in Milwaukee.
Speaker 4 While you're talking, you did that.
Speaker 3 While you're speaking. We came back from a break and I was peeing and the action started and I called a touchdown while urine was coming out of me.
Speaker 5 Can you say what the game was? What the touchdown was?
Speaker 3 You can go back and watch it.
Speaker 3 I'm pretty sure it was Atlanta against Green Bay and they played every year. Hard to believe now because of Lambeau and the success of the Packers, but back then they played one home game at Milwaukee
Speaker 3 County Stadium.
Speaker 3 And so, I, yeah, I, I, the bathroom was, was like over, it was like a Mission Impossible Tom Cruise thing to get to the bathroom in the stadium, and the half wouldn't end, and I couldn't get there, and I was just pounding water, and it just, I, I was, I was crying.
Speaker 4 Water was trying to get it when you were announcing it. There was a little extra sound of relief in your voice when you were announcing it.
Speaker 3 Yeah, there was a little, oh, that's six points. That's true, true though and uh
Speaker 3 and so yeah that that's another piece to the job they don't tell you in broadcast school or when you're a lucky nepotite i just thought of it i just thought of your your your catchphrase right at the start of the game baseball or football you go here we go the game of the week the buck starts here
Speaker 3 oh nice yeah well that's free joe go ahead the buck starts here
Speaker 3
if you say it during a broadcast i swear i swear i'm gonna you're gonna make me so happy you i will make one person so happy. And the rest of you.
And then that's one of those things.
Speaker 3 Like, if we can just reach one person,
Speaker 3
we know we've done our job. That's true.
We'll be right back.
Speaker 3
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Speaker 5 All right, back to the show.
Speaker 4 Joe, do you have like something that you've, it doesn't have to be controversial or whatever, but anything that in the moment you're like, it was so embarrassing and you can't take it back and it's out there?
Speaker 4 Like, you have a funny.
Speaker 3 There's a couple things.
Speaker 3 The most notable is I mentioned we did the U.S. Open.
Speaker 3 And they're playing at Aaron Hills. And Brooks Kepka, who's one of the great players in the game to this day, this was, I think, 2016.
Speaker 3
He wins the U.S. Open, wins his first major.
And
Speaker 3
I'm trying to pass myself off as a golf announcer, and I'm doing my best. We've had a pretty good week at Fox.
I felt like I did a decent job that year. It was my second year doing it.
Speaker 3
And at the end, this guy, Kapko, wins the U.S. Open, and this girl keeps showing up in every shot.
Every shot, kissing him, holding up the trophy. We did it.
We did it.
Speaker 3 I get a card handed to me from a guy in the back of the booth who'd been handing me cards all week that were dead on and made me sound a thousand times smarter than I actually am and a thousand times more clued in.
Speaker 3
And he's got all the stats of who the girl is. And so I just read the card.
That's so-and-so. She's a soccer player at Michigan State.
And I'm working with Brad Faxon.
Speaker 3
And he goes, Actually, Joe, the person you just said is his ex-girlfriend. This is his new girlfriend, Jenna Sims.
Oh, wow.
Speaker 3 And I'm like,
Speaker 3 okay.
Speaker 3 Good Good night, everybody.
Speaker 5 Good night, everybody. Good night.
Speaker 3
Did Kepka want to come and tune you up? No, so then I get Faxon has everybody's number. Of course, Faxon would know.
I mean, they had been dating for
Speaker 3 a month or whatever it had been at that point.
Speaker 3
But Faxon knows. He's in everybody's business.
He's in everybody's business. And I love him.
But I text him and I say, hey, give me Kepka's number. And I texted Kepka right after he wins the U.S.
Speaker 3
Open. I said, hey, I don't know if you've heard this, but I kind of fucked up on national TV.
I said, your ex-girlfriend's name.
Speaker 3
I'm so sorry. I feel terrible.
I shouldn't have ruined that moment for you. And he texted back like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, crying emoji, all good, you know, great job or something like that.
Speaker 3 And then he and I began.
Speaker 4 And then you asked him if you could go to his wedding.
Speaker 3
Yeah, they are engaged. So I am going to work so hard to get invited to that wedding, whether I'm in that city or not.
I will be there somehow.
Speaker 3 I'd like to introduce them and fuck up her name for the second time in my life. That'd be so good if you could tell that story and then once again
Speaker 3
use the old girlfriend's name. Bring it over.
He's welcome.
Speaker 5
Mr. and Mrs.
Joe, is there is what is what, in your opinion, the best ballpark hot dog nationwide, please?
Speaker 3 I don't really dive into the hot dogs when I'm there.
Speaker 3
What do you adopt? He eats hot dogs. Look at him.
You don't smoke. You don't eat bad food.
I have to eat the media food. He doesn't eat hot dogs.
Look at him. He's in shape.
Speaker 3 By the way, I i noticed you were in shape last year i really you really started whatever you were doing i could i was like look at this son of tighter suits no he looks better he just looks waist up see your jawline was popping last season and i just thought this guy that hair looks friggin great
Speaker 3 let me tell you that hair looks great
Speaker 3 that's the story sean that i kind of will carry with me for the rest of my life that i went in for my eighth hair transplant surgery uh back in the day and and i said it hurt your vocal cords right well for the first six i was awake during this really painful procedure.
Speaker 3 Now, this was back in the day,
Speaker 3 so this is like 2011 when I got my last one, and the doctor.
Speaker 5 You should do it with a needle and thread, right?
Speaker 3
Needle and thread, and then I'll pull the hair from your armpits. There's a whole cast of people that were in there to donate hair to me, just different people.
Wow. So, wait, you've had eight?
Speaker 4 Okay, keep going.
Speaker 3 This is so at the time I had eight, and the doctor had said, you know, I know, I know that, you know, you struggle during this procedure, and you've had a lot of them.
Speaker 3
You know, you can go under and you can do a general anesthetic. It's the best.
Are you kidding me? He's like, Yeah, but it's an extra $3,000. I'm like, I'll pay you 10.
Speaker 3
I don't want to be awake during this. I hate it.
And whatever. So they do the, you know, you sign out the waivers and all that.
Speaker 3 And then they put a tube down my throat and it sat on the nerve that fires my left vocal cord in a way that when I came out, I sounded like this.
Speaker 3 And I had, I had one vocal cord that was working and one that wasn't. Wow.
Speaker 3 And the story I told, we had McConaughey on our podcast recently, and I saw him in the shadow of where I'm sitting right now, back in 2011. And he's like, hey, Buckaroo, what's wrong with your voice?
Speaker 3 And I said,
Speaker 4 you said, what's wrong with yours?
Speaker 5 Did you light him up after that?
Speaker 3 And I told him the story, and he just waited, and he went, so what you're saying is.
Speaker 3
You fixed your video. You fucked up your audio.
Oh, boy.
Speaker 3
And I was like, yeah. And by the way, I just got on antidepressants and I'm going through a divorce.
So I'm going to go over here and suck my thumb and cry to myself for a little while.
Speaker 3 Joe, let me say this. And
Speaker 3 wait a minute,
Speaker 3
I don't use this term often, but you're a real hot mess. Keep going.
Sorry, go ahead. I'm good now.
Speaker 3 Back then, I was definitely a hotass.
Speaker 4 So eight treatments, eight treatments on the house.
Speaker 3
Eight treatments. Are we done or? No.
So I had one recently with the new methods with a guy in LA whose client list I found from another one of our guests. He's like, yeah, I had it done.
Speaker 3
It just came up organically. And he's, and so then we became friends.
Another Louis K guy.
Speaker 5 You want to give the doctor a plug right here? No pun intended. Yeah.
Speaker 3 Well, he gave you one. So, you know,
Speaker 5 so why do you have to have eight procedures?
Speaker 3 Can't you just have one good one? Massive head, Jason. And I
Speaker 3 have so many wispy hair.
Speaker 5 What is it like one row at a time?
Speaker 5 Can't they do the whole thing? Especially if you're knocked out.
Speaker 3
Yeah, you would think. And that's what led to my vocal cord paralysis.
But it was a six-hour procedure, but back then it was not as great as it is now.
Speaker 4 How long before your voice came back?
Speaker 3 It was
Speaker 3 about seven, eight months somewhere.
Speaker 5 Must have been scary. I mean, that's your livelihood.
Speaker 3 How much hair do you now have in your throat?
Speaker 3 Well, I mean, every once in a while, one will get in there.
Speaker 5 Were you worried that your career was over with your voice being on the phone?
Speaker 3 I was, yeah, I was a mess and I drove my daughters crazy because I would drive them to school in the morning and be like, how about this? Does this sound better?
Speaker 3 Fly ball into right and back into grab it is Peterson and that'll be two out. How's that? And I thought it was all over, but it just slowly came back.
Speaker 3 I could feel it getting better, but you couldn't hear it getting better.
Speaker 3 But it's funny how your brain works because I was on Fallon one time promoting the all-star game and I got out of that appearance thinking, oh man, I totally, you know, got got through that.
Speaker 3
I sounded great. And if I go back, if you Google me on Fallon's show in 2011, it's horrible.
I can't even watch it. And
Speaker 3
it's just funny that I was willing to kind of put myself out there. And I didn't miss a game.
I sounded horrible.
Speaker 3
The problem is when you have a paralyzed vocal cord, you can't hold air because it just escapes. And so you can't emote.
You can't get loud. You can't.
Speaker 3
And so I'm trying to just hold my breath, breath, wait for the moment, squeak out a play-by-play call. And eventually it came back for October.
And
Speaker 3 it just,
Speaker 3 I was really thankful because doctors were telling me, if it doesn't come back in three months, it's not coming back. And it was way over three months.
Speaker 3 Is your voice insured?
Speaker 3 I did for a while. I think it would be probably hard to insure after that.
Speaker 3 And it's not perfect.
Speaker 3 It's not what it was prior to this whole. thing.
Speaker 4 And if you're going to go back and do more treatments, are you still going to be put under with a tube down your throat?
Speaker 3 So that's the things.
Speaker 3
Little did I know. So I wrote about this.
This is how my book worked.
Speaker 5 What's the name of the book, Joe?
Speaker 3 The book is called Lucky Bastard.
Speaker 5 Lucky Bastard can be found wherever you like to buy your own books.
Speaker 3 It's on discount racks everywhere.
Speaker 3 Is he giving you a cut of his shit? Because when you keep, what is this? At least you have a little before you find your own book.
Speaker 3 Unbelievable. Make sure to tune in and watch Lego Masters Tuesdays.
Speaker 5 can i do that now yeah sure now i want to know why i'm still on the hair thing your dad your dad was a really attractive pretty hairless fella um you're uh one of your one of your one of your colleagues john smaltz got a beautiful head on him not a ton of hair on it no why what what what's the need what let's let's stop the madness
Speaker 3 ego
Speaker 3 no what ego you got a good look good bald
Speaker 3 look good bald why don't you just shave the whole goddamn thing i i know i wouldn't no I wouldn't. Jason, listen to you.
Speaker 3 With all the hair you have in your hand, you're like a billionaire saying to somebody who doesn't have any money, like, why can't you be happy? You're alive.
Speaker 3
You should be happy. You're alive.
It's a nice day outside.
Speaker 3 It's easy for you to say, motherfucker.
Speaker 3
Look at that. It's going different directions.
I know.
Speaker 3 If I had enough hair where pieces could go in different directions like that, I know.
Speaker 3
It's just annoying. It's like a little boy.
But here's the great news.
Speaker 3 His hair has got great roots because there's so much empty space below the skull for it to fight for the man.
Speaker 5 That sounds like an insult.
Speaker 3 Okay. See?
Speaker 3
He doesn't even know. Oh, Lord.
I don't know. I can't answer anything other than I have since done another one for the first time.
I did it like
Speaker 3
a couple months ago, and I highly recommend it. And it's not painful.
So I would, oh, I know what I started to say.
Speaker 3 I didn't realize because I opened my book with this, that my name was mud in the hair transplant world from these doctors because I talked about the barbaric pain that comes with it. And they're like,
Speaker 3
you're driving people away. You know, the seven people that read your book.
You're driving people away by talking about how awful the procedure is. And they're right because now it's simple.
Speaker 3 But you know, Joey, you bring up a boy. So the people in that world hate you.
Speaker 3
There are a lot of people who are gunning for you, it sounds like. According to you, who loves you? Who loves me? My mommy.
My mom loves me. I love you.
Sean loves me. I love you.
Speaker 5 Thank you. Michelle.
Speaker 3 Michelle loves me most of the time when I'm not complaining about being a dad for the second time around.
Speaker 3
My daughters. Who would win in a fight between you and Aikman? Aikman.
Yeah. Really? He's a tough, he's a big guy.
Look at Aikman. He's got abs.
He's got
Speaker 3
abs. He has muscles.
Oh, he has abs. Yeah.
He's in good shape. It's annoying.
But my point is, should we have, should there be a battle? We can get some announcers. We can get some of these.
Speaker 3
I'll take Michaels. I'll take Michaels.
So So you and L. Michaels, okay? This is, by the way, I could sell this to Showtime by.
Nance. I'll take my chances with Nance.
Speaker 5 Old Jimmy Nance has got a real sharp jab on him.
Speaker 3
Yeah. No.
Talk to me about Nance a little bit.
Speaker 3 I'll hello friends him. I'll hello friends.
Speaker 3
Jimmy's real folksy. He gets real folksy on you.
But I love his style because he keeps it real casual and he keeps it right down here. And you'll be watching,
Speaker 3
they do the handoff. You're watching the golf on the, on, you know, on Thursday or Friday or even on a Saturday morning.
And then all of a sudden,
Speaker 3 they get to the network broadcast. And all of a sudden, Nance and Sir Nick pop on.
Speaker 3
Like somebody just quietly let them in the back door. Before you know it, Nance is romancing the microphone.
He's like, well, and Nick, tell me about Kepka. And you're like, oh shit, who let Nance in?
Speaker 3
No, I've been making verbal love to his microphone. I know, you're right.
It's he loves it.
Speaker 3 He's got the gain on real high. Tremendous screen.
Speaker 3
He's got the gain turned way up. So, look, watch this.
I'll just do this on my mic here. So you can turn the gain way up so you can talk low and you don't have to give much of a voice.
Speaker 3 And here it comes. And now I'm Jim Nance.
Speaker 3 And here he comes for that
Speaker 3
walking up the 18th century. I want you to say, Will, I want you to hear this.
Yeah. Say just, but put a lot of time between all of
Speaker 3 all four words. Just a moment ago.
Speaker 3 Just a moment ago. Yeah.
Speaker 3
And then bam. My voiceover.
So I'm going to keep my gain on real high here and our guys are going to be mad. But my voiceover idol was this guy, Hal Reiny.
And he used to do Perrier. You'll remember.
Speaker 3 He's long since passed, but he'd go,
Speaker 3 there is a town in the middle of France
Speaker 3 where the water comes out. And it's a little bubbly.
Speaker 3 And that is a Perrier.
Speaker 3
Oh, I love that guy. I love that guy.
I'm going to turn myself down now.
Speaker 3 That's hilarious.
Speaker 5
Joe, thank you. And please enjoy the rest of your five-week vacation in Mexico.
Yes.
Speaker 5 And stay away from crashing more weddings.
Speaker 3
Joe, thank you. You're a real champ for being here.
Thanks, Joe.
Speaker 4 Nice to meet you. Thank you, buddy.
Speaker 3
Thanks, Will. Thanks, Sean.
Thanks, Justin.
Speaker 5 Wonderful callback. He brought it all the way back.
Speaker 3 Hashtag callback.
Speaker 5
Thank you, Joe. Hopefully, we'll see you soon in Los Angeles.
Yes, that would be nice.
Speaker 3
Hurry. Please.
All right, just Just
Speaker 3 a moment ago.
Speaker 3 Just a moment ago.
Speaker 3 Ago.
Speaker 3 Into the hole it goes.
Speaker 5 Thank you, my friend.
Speaker 3
All right, thank you. Bye.
Bye, pal. Bye.
Speaker 5 Another nasty, unfriendly, non-talkative prick.
Speaker 3 Sean, when you hear him talking about his relationship with his dad, does it make you wish that your dad took you to the track
Speaker 3 with him?
Speaker 5 And when we say track, we're talking about the dog track.
Speaker 3 I thought of it.
Speaker 5 Or High Lai. High Lai was Tuesdays and Thursdays, right?
Speaker 5 Is he still with us, by the way?
Speaker 3
My dad. He is.
Yeah, he's
Speaker 3 a big fan. He's a big fan.
Speaker 4 His name is Ron Ronald.
Speaker 3 Ron or Ronald. Yeah.
Speaker 5 Boy, that is a, let me tell you something. That is a dog track name right there.
Speaker 3 Okay.
Speaker 5 You use Ronald for highlight, but Ron's definitely at the track.
Speaker 3 By the way, how many times has he heard this in his life? Hey, Ron, who do you like in the fourth?
Speaker 3 Oh, bless him. Oh, my God.
Speaker 5 He knows how to slam a door, doesn't he?
Speaker 5 Will's on the ground.
Speaker 3 Come on, back up.
Speaker 3
I don't know why it makes me makes me laugh. It makes me laugh so much because it it makes Sean laugh so much, I think.
I love it.
Speaker 4 You know, when he was saying about how he inspired him or when Joe was talking about how his dad inspired him, you know, we always, I used my dad leaving as kind of like every day you wake up and you think, I'll show you.
Speaker 3
Kind of thing. I saw you nodding when he said that, though.
Not nodding off. I saw you going like, yes.
Speaker 4
Yeah, no, no. I love that kind of stuff.
I didn't know he had a podcast called Daddy Issues and they just talk about all that stuff.
Speaker 5 Yes, I would imagine. Did you talk about your dad?
Speaker 3
I think I did. Yeah.
I don't know.
Speaker 5
I don't know why I can't remember the stuff that I do. Maybe because I'm just concentrating when I'm doing it.
That's all right.
Speaker 3 We all remember.
Speaker 6 Will, go ahead. Take a shot real quick.
Speaker 3
No, I'm not going to say anything. No.
I'm not going to say anything. Just don't.
Okay. It'll come.
Speaker 3 I mean, we know why. We are.
Speaker 5 It knows.
Speaker 3 No, I'm just because
Speaker 3 you're not in touch with yourself.
Speaker 5 Yeah.
Speaker 3 That's why.
Speaker 5 It's down there somewhere.
Speaker 3 By the way, I'm not exactly completely in touch with myself either. So I'm, you you know, glass houses over here.
Speaker 4 Well, I'm in touch with both of you.
Speaker 5 I don't know. And I'm in touch with you.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Sean, you are, Sean, you're pretty in touch with yourself.
You've been doing a lot of work. I mean it.
Speaker 3 You do a lot of work on this stuff. And
Speaker 3 I totally respect that. I think it's awesome the way that you do, that
Speaker 3 that's become an important part of your life.
Speaker 4 Thank you. Yeah, no,
Speaker 4 I try to be self-aware 24 hours a day.
Speaker 5 Are you currently in therapy?
Speaker 3
Oh, yeah. Oh, God, you are.
Once a week? Once a week, yeah.
Speaker 5 Standing appointment.
Speaker 4 Standing appointment 12:30 Monday.
Speaker 3
Yeah. Come on.
Yeah. I'm not kidding.
Speaker 5 God, I wish I could get on a routine.
Speaker 6 I just could get it out.
Speaker 5 I guess maybe if I could get one of those. Do you have, does your therapist have like a punch card?
Speaker 3 Dude, you're on a routine. You're on fucking routine.
Speaker 5 But it would be good for me to get into a routine either weekly or
Speaker 3 bye,
Speaker 3 please.
Speaker 5 You could smell me leading into it.
Speaker 3
I can smell that too. It's good.
Old fish. Bye.
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