The Devil Made Them Do It | Reading Reddit Stories

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Hi, welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories.

I'm Shane and today's theme is oops, all assholes.

Every story today comes from Am I the Asshole and many come from Am I the Devil, where the worst of the worst end up.

And I'm joined by two of the worst of the worst here at Smosh.

I was waiting for that.

Yeah.

Had to.

Trevor and Tommy.

Hi, everyone.

Welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories.

I'm Shane.

How was...

And

I feel

like, yeah.

Yeah.

Our producers have been very excited for this episode today.

Okay.

They're saying that it's going to be a banger.

Okay.

Some absolutely wild people in this story.

I love it.

I always love coming and sitting on this couch and then hearing about the most insane things ever and being like, wow, there's actually people out there.

Like this.

Yeah.

You know what's wild?

We've never done a Reddit stories together.

Really haven't.

That's correct.

This is a new pairing.

Whoa.

Great

new take.

Well, hell yeah.

All right.

Yep, I'm excited.

This is going to be fun.

This is going be to be really cool.

I love bad people.

You know what?

I'm going to go ahead and say, I actually think all these people are going to be just misunderstood.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, let's cut people some slack today.

Yeah,

let's cut all these people slack.

Let's cut these people.

Let's cut all these people.

Okay.

Some people.

These little pieces.

Yep.

Let's get into these stories about horrible people.

Yes.

First one comes from Am I the Asshole.

Am I the asshole for interfering in the bouquet toss at my girlfriend's sister's wedding?

That's awesome.

All right.

Someone here has interfered in the bouquet toss.

My girlfriend, we'll call her Maggie, and I went to her sister's wedding on Sunday, January 22nd.

It was a great event, and things were going well for most of the evening.

This was the first time I met Maggie's mother, but I had already met the rest of her family.

When it came time for the bouquet toss, Maggie was one of the ladies in the group to try and catch it.

I thought I had an opportunity to be funny and lift the mood, so I stood behind Maggie and slapped the flowers to the ground before she could catch them.

Yes.

I don't know if she actually would have been the one to catch them, but I did it anyway.

I was doing it as a joke, which I thought would be obvious to everyone.

I was like, 0.0001% serious.

I'm actually not interested in marriage.

I'm in my 20s.

I really had no bad intentions and wasn't trying to upset anyone.

I thought I would get a chuckle from the crowd.

After I slapped the bouquet to the floor, there was an audible gasp from everyone around, followed by an awkward silence.

I was a little embarrassed, but I laughed anyway to try to non-verbally show everyone that it was a joke.

Nobody laughed.

After a bit, the moment had passed and everyone was starting a big dinner.

Nobody talked to me and I was getting a couple sideways glances.

Maggie's mother eventually pulled me aside and, very respectfully, asked me to leave.

To which I obliged.

I didn't want to cause a scene.

A few weeks later, my girlfriend and her sister are over it, but the mom still seems weird about it.

I haven't spoken to her since then was this an asshole move or was it just a lighthearted joke that was misinterpreted

guys

guys it was misinterpreted

i'm just joshing bam

guys

guys

come on no that's a funny thing to go up to your friend and be like bro you should go smack the bouquet out of the air and then you both have a laugh and then you go get another glass of wine yeah it's like that's like you don't go do it it's like bro wouldn't it be hysterical and then you don't do it yeah you're also preventing anyone else from anyone else yeah grabbing it.

And you're also,

you know, in a traditional wedding sense,

he's getting up and being part of something that he

should not be part of.

Right.

Whenever I go to a wedding and I am not part, like really part of the family.

Oh, I'm sitting in the back of the family.

I'm like, yeah, I'm.

I'm invisible here.

Exactly.

And it's still like, it's a joke that at a wedding just kind of, it just feels a little old school in a not a funny way of like, like, I'm not going to marry her.

Like, oh, hell no.

Like, it's like,

not me next god please oh

uh

there i was at a wedding once and this is on camera where my best friend caught the bouquet and like we luckily were filming it and we turned to our buddy her her boyfriend and he's there just like

and it was like just such a funny organic moment like that's just what happened but to get up and try to make a joke yeah

probably not gonna land like funny things happen at weddings but they need to happen just

naturally genuinely exactly yeah exactly i'm wondering if the sister asked the mom to ask him to leave

or because if the mom if the bride asked the mom to ask him to leave i guess it's it's like i understand people take it upon them to like kind of navigate the wedding because the bride and groom are too busy to and should it shouldn't be their responsibility at the same time like would the bride agree with that or are you kind of taking the wedding into your own hands that's that's an interesting thought the mom seems to hate him now yeah he's got an uphill battle if he actually wants to be with this girl.

You're going to be bad on your first meeting with the mom.

Oh my God, man.

Like the gusto to pull that kind of stunt at a wedding where you don't know most of the people.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I feel like that's the tough part is like not knowing people.

And then it feels like this has probably got to be a big deal for the sister and the mom.

Like maybe it's like she's like, this is her dream wedding.

This is like she's been planning this.

She's a big wedding person.

Cause like, yeah, on the outside looking at it, it's like, oh, he made a bad joke and did a dumb thing.

But if the mom asks him to leave and then is still that upset, like, it had to have been like a pretty bad thing.

It had to have been pretty intense.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's, it's definitely very embarrassing for the girlfriend because the joke of it, too, is, no, fuck no, I don't want to marry you.

Like, I will prevent even the superstitious possibility of it.

So that's the first impression the mom gets and all the family gets.

I wouldn't be surprised if that's update, she broke up with me.

Probably.

This is an am I the ex post for sure.

Yeah.

The verdict, asshole.

For sure.

Comments, you're the asshole.

It's a tradition that not many people take to heart.

It's not an automatic you must be married thing.

You made an unnecessary scene and damaged your relationship with your girlfriend and her family.

You ruined a possibly cute moment for no reason.

Jokes are supposed to be funny, so explain the joke.

Seriously, explain how ruining a moment at a wedding is so damn funny.

OP responded, Oh.

I didn't intend to ruin the moment, nor did I know that I would.

But the joke was meant to be that I didn't want to get married in this economy.

Traditionally, in, I'm not sure what culture it stems from, actually, but traditionally, the person to catch the bouquet is the next person to get married.

3,000 down votes.

Yeah, we know that.

Okay.

He's like, but guys, the economy.

Guys, hear me right now.

He's like, the joke is that I don't want to get married in this economy.

What kind of English class bullshit was that?

What the hell?

If you actually look at the joke, if you want to analyze it within the space, it's about the economy, actually.

It's actually about society.

There's one guy sitting at a table and he's like,

that was a well-made joke about the economy.

Yeah.

I get it.

I get his question.

No one writes it down.

It's economic critique.

Impressive.

Someone else said, you're the asshole.

Clearly, I'm not one of those people who read these kinds of posts and jump to conclusions, but this time I will.

She should not have gotten over it.

You are very lucky she didn't dump you that very night.

She still has a chance to change her mind, and I hope she does.

You should sincerely apologize to her mom.

You ruined a moment at her daughter's wedding to declare to everyone in the family that you want to make a point of not marrying your girlfriend so badly that you will make a spectacle of yourself.

At the very least, I would never allow you at special family events again because you cannot be trusted.

You are the kind of asshole who shoves people's faces into their birthday cakes as a joke.

Lastly, someone said you're the asshole and oh my god, I'm feeling secondhand embarrassment.

Absolutely asshole move.

And you're bragging about it to strangers on the internet?

Cringe.

Damn,

cringe.

Yeah.

Cringe, yeah.

It's very impressive to get a asshole verdict on Am I the Asshole?

Because people either are clearly not in the wrong and they're trying to like sort out like, hey, what's going on?

I'm feeling like I'm being gaslit.

Or

they word it very well and they make it in their favor.

For someone to be so delusional that they write it out clearly, but then they go, what'd I do wrong?

I mean, wow.

It's amazing to me that they can write it all out and not see it.

Not see it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But hey, these verdicts are hilarious when we get them.

Yep.

Well, Jesus.

That's that.

That's that.

No.

I have a feeling we don't need an update because I think we know what happened.

Yeah.

I think this relationship is over or it will be over soon.

It's one of those movies where they don't need to tell you what happens.

You just go, ah, he did die.

Yeah.

You know, as a comedian and as someone who's got a lot of social anxiety, for a long time when I was younger, I would try to make like jokes in public, not anything like this.

But I think something I've learned as I've gotten older is just you have those moments where it's like, oh, I could do this joke here.

I'm like,

I don't need to.

Yeah.

I don't need to prove, like, I don't need to impress people.

I don't need to make a joke to like get approval.

It's okay to like, you could just sit and just be part of everything.

Yeah.

And it will be okay.

But absolutely.

I don't know what his intentions really were here.

But anyways.

Anyways.

First asshole down.

So what do this this animal

and this animal

and this animal

have in common?

They all live on an organic valley farm.

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Back to the show.

All right, our next story comes from Am I the Asshole.

Am I the asshole for being a picky eater at Friendsgiving?

See, this is one of those ones where they're going to tee it up like, I'm just being a little picky eater.

And then they're going to be like the worst person ever.

They're going to be like, I threw food everywhere and punched all my friends in the face.

I barfed in the potatoes because they were bad.

As with every story on this show, it's not the like intention.

It's the execution.

It's the execution.

You can be a picky eater.

That's completely fine.

Yeah.

How they go about it.

I, a 26-year-old woman, joined a group of friends I met in grad school.

We range anywhere from 23 to 30, and we're a mix of men and women.

I was bullied out of my old friend group so I started hanging out with the current group since February.

Trevor finds that hilarious.

I'm sorry.

Trevor loves that.

I'm sorry.

It's just teeing up and like the first sentence of your Am I the Asshole post being like, I got bullied out of my last friend group.

Like,

I'm sorry.

It is pretty funny.

It's like, did we need that?

We'll see.

They have all been friends longer than I have, so I'm like the new addition.

Okay.

So I see.

They're new to the friend group.

Okay.

For the last couple years, they do Friendsgiving, which is usually a week or two before Thanksgiving, and we all bring a dish slash drink to someone's house.

This year, a girl, Lisa, said she would host since her and her fiancé just moved into a big condo.

We were all assigned to bring something, but it didn't have to be Thanksgiving-themed.

Any food would do, which defeats the purpose of Thanksgiving, but whatever.

I'm not the hostess.

Okay.

All right,

I'm starting to lose you a little bit.

Now, I've always been a picky eater.

I don't have allergies allergies or anything, but I know what I like and I'm not interested in trying new foods.

That may offend some people, but that's just who I am.

We had a Google Doc for who was bringing what, and I quickly realized I wouldn't be able to eat anything except bread rolls and apple pie, and I was bringing the pie.

There was a lot of foreign food since most of the friend group comes from diverse backgrounds.

Some examples are Lisa is Chinese, so she was going to make Chinese barbecue pork and steam a whole fish.

Another person's family is Lebanese, so they were going to bring hummus, parsley, salad, et cetera.

This sounds amazing.

Yeah, I'm really so hungry.

Hey, we're having Thanksgiving, but sorry, I'm bringing fucking amazing food to it.

My bad, dude.

Oh!

I want no green bean casserole.

Oh!

No cranberries from a can?

I googled the foods I didn't know, and none of that sounded appetizing to me.

She googled hummus.

What is hummus?

As someone who lives in LA, that sounds impossible.

I googled the foods I didn't know, and none of that sounded appetizing to me, so I texted Lisa and asked her if she could provide something for me to eat so I didn't starve.

And she's lost me.

Oh, girl, eat the breakfast.

She asked me what I was thinking, so I provided her with some options, such as pizza, burgers, spaghetti with meat sauce, etc.

She said she would.

So I go to Friendsgiving and everyone starts to help themselves and Lisa brings me out a pizza.

I asked her where my other options were.

And she said there are no other options.

I said I liked pizza, so she got me a pizza.

I felt this was unfair because everyone had a variety to choose from and I was essentially being forced to eat one thing.

Oh my gosh.

Unbelievable that her friend was kind enough to be like, yeah, I'll get you a pizza.

Like, she said, I'll eat a pizza.

She got a pizza.

What's wrong?

She wanted Lisa to bring pizza, spaghetti, a burger.

A fucking ketchup packet.

We got into an argument.

I told her when I gave her a list of options, I expected her to have a few different ones for me, like a good hostess would do.

She said, No, why should she provide a bunch of food?

I never said a bunch for just one person.

No one stood up for me, and a couple people even sided with Lisa, saying I was acting spoiled.

I ended up in tears and left early without eating anything.

Lisa wouldn't even give me back the pie I brought, which was unnecessarily mean.

Can I have my pie back?

No, it's delicious.

Sorry, dude.

No, the pie is really good.

We're keeping a pie.

That was a couple weeks ago, and everyone is ignoring me.

Granted, it's nearing the end of the semester, so we've all been busy.

I'm starting to feel that there was a miscommunication between Lisa and I, but I wanted to see if anyone would side with me.

My friends are aware I only like a few foods, and I feel like I'm being bullied for my tastes.

I'm super anxious and upset and can't focus on my finals.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole?

No.

Oh, God.

I'm.

I feel like everyone knows so many people who have dietary restrictions or are picky eaters, but it's always fine.

I feel like everyone I know is so cool that when you go out, they're like, oh, I'm going to bring my own thing.

They bring their own stuff.

They bring your own stuff.

Or it's like,

it even went so far as to like, hey, could I request this?

And like someone, I think it's unfair to ask someone to make extra stuff, but to be like, hey, is it possible for us to make a pizza or to have a pizza there?

And like, they did that.

It's like, no, I need more options for me.

It's back to where it's like, what kind of privilege is this?

Yes.

Bananas.

Like, yeah, your friend already did go out of her way to get you the food that you wanted.

Because she could have easily been like, yeah, I'll bring my own pizza.

Boil some noodles and get a meatball going.

Yeah, what the hell?

No, that's insane.

I don't understand why she, it's so unfair to be like, you need to do this.

Right.

You need to make an extra thing.

It's like, I'm making the pie.

Do you mind if I make a pizza for myself and that's just for me?

Nobody would have had a problem with it.

I would love to hear the other foods that were there because she definitely didn't list all of them.

No.

And I want to know every single food that was there that she missed out on.

It sounds awesome.

Because it sounds so good.

And I'd love to join next year.

Yeah.

There's a lot of context

to it.

We're not getting a lot of context because, you know, like I said, being a picky eater is fine.

But it was followed up with, yeah, and they're bringing a lot of foreign food, which I don't know how I feel about.

I'm like, and it's like, can you make burgers, spaghetti, meat with spaghetti with meat sauce?

I'm like, are you forever?

Your type of picky is interesting.

There's no problem.

I can't call that out.

I don't think there's necessarily a problem with it, but I want to meet this person and see what their reasoning is.

Actually, spaghetti is a foreign food.

It's from Italy.

So this is the second friend group she's going to get bullied out of, probably.

Yeah, she lost a second friend group.

Yeah.

I wonder if she got bullied out of the first friend group or if she did another insane thing like that.

Stop talking.

It's 100% what happened.

Yeah.

This probably happened with the previous one.

And it's, once again, it's just the entitlement.

The entitlement's the problem.

I mean

literally, I know like here at Smosh, we have like food catered at lunch, right?

But so many times people are like, oh, I'm going to order my own food.

Yeah.

Totally fine.

I've been bringing my own food.

I've got to make your food, man.

Like, nobody's going to be offended by that.

If she brought her own food, she's like, you know what?

I'm going to order a pizza.

I'm going to bring that.

And they had a problem with it, I'd be like, well,

she's in the right.

Like, she's allowed to do that.

Or even like if they all picked a restaurant to go to that wouldn't have any food that she she liked, I get that it's like a little bit weirder to bring your own food to a restaurant.

But she's going to a thing where everybody is bringing food.

The point is to just eat together.

It doesn't matter what the food is.

Just bring another food.

Right.

Yeah.

And to be unhappy with a pizza.

Like if there's any food that I'm like, I'm never going to be upset that that's what I have.

Yes.

Pizza.

Pizza.

It's a check mark.

It does its job.

Verdict, asshole.

Comments, you're the asshole.

This is the price of being a picky eater.

Everyone else had options because everyone else was willing to be flexible.

Lisa could have just told you to bring your own food if you weren't sure you could eat anything else people were planning to bring, but she made sure you'd be fed.

The correct response to that is thank you.

Someone else said, you're the asshole.

No wonder you got kicked out of the last group.

Hell yeah.

Hell yeah.

All right.

This last one, this last comment's a big one.

You're the asshole.

Hint, you're not being bullied.

You're getting social blowback and consequences for acting very poorly.

First, you didn't realize it was all food you couldn't eat.

You realized it was food you don't want to eat.

Stop making it seem more than a matter of taste.

Second, Lisa complied with your request by making a dish that she knew you could eat.

Expecting the host to provide you with multiple options at a potluck, including pizza and burgers and spaghetti and more, is flat out unreasonable.

And you causing a scene because of it is entitled, unhinged, and gross.

How embarrassing for everyone there to have to witness it and for you to have done it in the first place.

Third, it's not a problem of miscommunication, it's a problem of your unreasonable expectations and rude behavior.

Get some anxiety meds, get through your finals, and look for new friends.

These ones rightly don't want anything to do with you and get some therapy and etiquette training.

Damn.

Damn, dude.

Holy shit.

She's coffin.

This person is.

She's dead.

Number two.

Look at this.

My God.

This person's going onto Reddit angry as fuck.

Like, let's see what I can find today.

Whoa.

All right.

We have an update.

Oh, wow.

What?

We have a small little update.

They write, I'm the asshole.

I sent Lisa a text asking to talk and she hasn't responded.

I also texted another girl in the group who said they're having a post-finals New Year's party and I'm not invited.

So there's that.

Update number two.

Lisa texted me back saying she was sorry about the pie, but she's not sorry for the friends giving as a whole.

I asked her about the New Year's Eve party and she said she and the group think it would be best if I didn't come because of how I acted.

I can't say I blame them, but I'm heartbroken.

Update number three.

I texted an apology to the group chat and I offered to take everyone out to dinner at a Chinese restaurant after finals are over.

We'll update if anything changes.

Tomorrow I'm going to order takeout from somewhere I've never ordered before.

Oh, how brave.

Guys, I'm going to get Panda Express.

It's going to be crazy.

I'm going to get the orange chicken.

The orange chicken.

The orange chicken.

Hey, look, it sounds like maybe this will be for the best for them, that they can change course.

Yeah, they can change course.

It's always tough.

I don't want to be hard on people for

food-related things, right?

Again, it's all about the execution of how you express yourself.

And as with so many posts, I take people at their word, right?

She's not saying it's a texture thing.

She's not saying it's like there's triggers that she has.

She's like, I just, I'm picky.

It's like, all right.

That's the basis of this.

Yeah.

It's like, how you acted from that is not cool.

Right.

But maybe they're changing.

Yeah.

I respect that.

It does seem like they're at least trying to put in a little bit of effort.

Absolutely.

There you go.

Yeah, absolutely.

You accepted that you're wrong.

Whenever they update and they go, I'm the asshole.

I'm always like, all right.

Okay, all right.

As long as you know that.

All right.

We should all give you a chance.

All right, our next story.

Am I the asshole for bringing my fiancé to Christmas despite my famous cousin's wishes?

Famous.

Famous cousin.

Famous cousin.

Kathy Bates.

My cousin Tom Cruise.

My cousin is very famous.

Yes, you have heard of him.

And no, I won't tell you who he is.

We'll call him Terry.

Well, it's Terry Cruz.

We'll call him Terry.

When we have family functions, mainly for holidays, Terry likes for them to be only family so he can be himself and get drunk and pass out on the couch and share Hollywood gossip with us.

Otherwise, he feels like he is being interviewed and having everyone talk to him or want a picture.

And he has to be in promo mode.

He said it's because he was tired of having to meet strangers and not be able to let loose and there were some issues of these partners taking pictures of him or spreading gossip.

I hated this at first because I would be dating some chick and she would want to get to meet him and it's awkward to tell them they can't come to family events and they get mad that they never get to meet him.

My Tinder has a pic of me with Terry.

All right, well you're using your cousin.

But I get it, so I was fine with it until this year.

I began dating this chick in August.

This chick.

Unfortunately, unfortunately, man,

you're not gonna win me over when you're talking like this.

Anyways, I was dating this chick, right?

Anyways, I began dating this chick in August.

I couldn't bring her to Thanksgiving, fine.

But when I walk in, I see another cousin, Danielle, has brought her boyfriend, Steve, even though they've been together for less than a year.

They got together over New Year's and engaged on Halloween.

Terry was fine with this because he's met Steve before, old family friend, even though I've been told that no exceptions are allowed to his rule.

Thanksgiving sucked because the whole time I was mad that I once again wasn't allowed to bring my girlfriend.

My girlfriend consoled me after and I realized that she is my soulmate.

Two weeks ago I proposed and we got engaged.

Christmas was at my aunt's.

I'm a believer in ask for forgiveness, not permission.

So I brought my fiancé because she had nowhere else to go and I wanted her to meet my family.

We walked into the house and all hell broke loose.

Everyone was asking who she was and scolding me about the rules and Terry flipped out.

He was already buzzed and looked 20 pounds heavier than usual and started yelling at me for doing this to him.

He didn't seem excited at all about my engagement or willing to introduce himself to her.

Our grandma was telling Terry to get over it and asking to see the ring and saying she wished she had gotten my fiancé a gift so grandma was on my side.

But Terry was still arguing with me and said I shouldn't be allowed at any more events.

And he ended up calling an Uber black and leaving before we even ate.

An Uber black.

Uber black.

He's famous.

Remember he's famous.

He's got an Uber black.

To top it all off, my uncle, who has never even liked Terry, got upset because apparently Terry was his secret Santa, so he didn't get a gift.

So my uncle started blaming me for ruining Christmas.

That's awesome.

I get they are mad, but it was clear there was an exception for fiancés, and I'm embarrassed that my family was so rude to her when I just didn't want her to be alone on Christmas.

Am I the asshole?

Oh my god, dude, this family.

This is scary.

This is all just so much.

Oh, dude, that uncle is hilarious.

Bro, you ruined secret Santa.

Dude, I was going to get a gift.

I was going to get a gift from the rich, famous one.

Come on, man.

Can I be completely honest?

I don't think I like anyone.

Yeah, it's not great.

I don't even like the girlfriend because she's like, my girlfriend was really excited to meet Terry.

I was like, is that, come on, man.

Yeah.

Does she want to meet your family or does she want to meet Terry, the famous cousin?

Yeah.

And then he's like, this chick, by the way, she's my soulmate.

By the way, this dumb chick I'm dating.

Who I like.

I like her guy.

I'm a little close to her.

She's all right.

I think it's really funny when he got it, like, like, oh, this guy,

his brother's fiancé or his sister's fiancé or something.

His sister's fiancé was allowed in.

Like, a family friend already knew him and they were engaged.

And he's like, I thought there were no exceptions to the rule.

It's like, come on, buddy.

Yeah.

And I'm like, I get,

I don't understand, but I also sort of slightly understand of like, oh, you're famous and you don't want to be like, you want to be with family who's just treating you like a person.

Sure, yeah, I get that.

But you also, just because you're famous doesn't mean you get to set the rules forever.

For every single person.

No, sorry.

Like, it's a family event.

Everyone gets to do their own thing.

Don't go if it's such a hassle for you.

And if it's about getting blackout drunk, then it's like choose, pick and choose which events you're going to get blackout drunk for.

The way this story is written, I'm like, hey, I think your cousin has a problem.

Yes.

This sounds bad.

Especially like once they're engaged, it's like, well, that person then is probably gonna be a part of your family.

Like you're gonna have to be around them at some point.

Yeah, it's can I also say like the cousin talks about like oh, I don't want to be bothered.

I don't want to be asked all these things, but I'm like, but it also sounds like your cousin does want to be the focal point of the family event.

He's like, I want to get drunk and have everyone ask me about Hollywood stuff.

Yeah.

And I tell you gossip while I get drunk on the couch.

He's complaining and he's like, oh, my cousin does this thing.

He's so annoying.

But he has his cousin in one of his Tinder profile pictures yeah right absolutely using his cousin yeah and it's clear that he's also telling people that match him like yeah that's my cousin it's not just like oh i have a photo with this guy that i'm using i'm like does this family like each other it doesn't sound like it no

not at all maybe for secret santa purposes yeah yeah they like each other for what they get out of each other for what they get out of each other here's the thing i think the uncle here is justified i think he's the one person you think he's justified secret ruining secret santa that's screwed up

But it's the cousin, he should be blaming the cousin because the cousin left.

Because the cousin, yeah, that's true.

The verdict, everyone sucks here.

Yeah.

I agree.

We don't get that verdict much at all.

That's a rare verdict.

Everyone's the asshole.

Comments, you're the asshole.

You could have asked.

You could also not use your famous cousin as a pick on Tinder.

Yep.

Someone said, so the rule was made for OP, basically.

I get that it's not technically OP's fault.

It was the girl he brought, but I I kind of get why Terry'd be extra upset that OP showed up with a girl he doesn't know.

I'm leaning, you're the asshole.

Someone else commented, and his new chick that he's been dating for only a few months is an Instagram influencer who are of course known for valuing privacy above all else.

Someone else said, the chick thing made me lean into you're the asshole territory because chick, really?

Is this 1973?

I just feel like OP has a lack of respect for people in general.

Using a photo with his cousin in it seems awfully manipulative too.

Yep.

Lastly, someone said, You're the asshole.

The two situations weren't the same.

Your cousin knew the other person, unlike your girlfriend.

Getting engaged that quickly is also shady as fuck.

If you don't like the rules, don't go.

Spend Christmas with your new fiancé.

You wrecked Christmas because of a tantrum and games.

And your cousin knows not to trust your judgment because you sell your link to him.

You don't add to his privacy.

You resent, you can't use it to your benefit.

Give a serious apology.

You were bang out of order.

Wow.

Wow.

Yeah.

I mean, I I feel like that's accurate.

Yeah.

Update.

Oh.

Reading the comments, there's a mixed response, but it looks like the consensus leans towards me being the asshole.

So yeah, I probably could have handled it a bit better.

And people are writing me for not including every detail in the post, but there was a word limit.

Nobody has correctly guessed who Terry is, and I won't respond to any more guesses.

And I don't use his picture to get girls.

I literally have Arias, so I have no issues in that department.

Okay, dude.

Okay.

Anyway, nobody talked to me yesterday, but I I found out this morning that all is fine.

Terry called me to apologize for making a scene and congratulated me on my engagement and I accepted his apology.

He also told me he went back and visited with family yesterday and gave my uncle his gift for secret Santa so Christmas isn't ruined for him.

Awesome.

As for my fiancé, she handled it all really well even though it was an awkward way to meet my family and my aunt made rude comments about her outfit.

She also had the idea.

She's not in.

Also, my aunt sucks too.

She also had the idea that we should have the family over for New Year's to make it up to them.

So, yeah, everybody was a bit dramatic, but no harm was done.

And he has a raya, so he's all good.

He has a raya, so he has no issues there.

No issues there.

Cool.

If you don't know what that is at home, that's like a, you got to be invited to the dating app because you're like a celebrity or something.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I wonder what the secret Santa gift was.

I'd love to know that detail.

Probably a new car, a new home.

An autographed headshot.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

All right.

Our next story.

All right.

Comes from Am I the Asshole?

Am I the asshole for saying my wife wasn't my dream girl in a trivia game?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Why are you writing this post, bro?

I feel like all you have to do is write that sentence and then you should be having a question like, oh, wait a minute.

Oh, that sucks.

So my wife and I have been doing a game night every so often with some other couples via Zoom since we can't go out and see people lately.

This was in the later part of 2020.

Okay.

We were playing this card game the other night that was basically a trivia game for couples to play, and you are asked a question, and you write down your answer, and your partner has to guess what they think you answered.

If they guess correctly, your team gets a point.

Whichever couple knows each other the best wins.

So, some of the questions in this version were a little spicy, and one of the questions was: Who is your dream man/slash/woman to have sex with?

I wrote down my spin instructor.

No, no, no, I thought he was gonna pull like Jennifer Lopez or something.

Please don't put a real person who you can go and see.

Oh, no.

No.

No, you don't do that.

Oh,

dude, you're a hero.

You're so dumb.

Right, right.

There's like a version of this that's like not writing your wife.

Yeah.

But it's like, okay.

Like Sandy Cheeks.

Like, I think that like something like that's funny, you know?

Okay.

Oh.

I wrote down my spin instructor since my wife knows I think she's hot and thought she'd guess her and we'd get a point.

Well, fuck me.

Turns out every other husband either wrote down their wife or a celebrity slash fictional character.

That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, fictional character is the way to go.

My wife was livid and upset.

I tried to explain I didn't actually want to do anything with my spin instructor and I would never even briefly consider being unfaithful.

It was just me trying to play the game.

She doesn't believe me saying everyone else's instinct was women who didn't exist or better yet, their wives.

I feel really bad, but also really confused.

I don't know how to deal with this is she overreacting or am i an asshole and no need to tell me about the curb your enthusiasm episode no i hadn't seen it yes i've seen it now almost every man there sent me references to it as soon as the video was off

i'm sure there's a kirb you enthusiasm episode that matches this what the hell was this dude thinking this guy was not oh my god i think that might genuinely be it like i don't want to be mean but i think he might just genuinely have not been thinking like he could just be a very like like there could have been some drinks in it like yeah like he just might be dumb that's just the dumbest thing i've heard so maybe it's like a dumb thing it's like almost so dumb that i'm like maybe he genuinely didn't understand that that was an insane thing to do like he was so stupid on that when he said it was like oh i my wife knows i think she's hot i i think my spin instructor's hot so she's gonna say that right

the logic is not there it's so oh my god there's also we play so many of these types of games there's moments in these types of games where it's like

you even know you're not going to get a point, right?

You know, like, okay, I'm thinking they're not going to say this, but it's a fun thing to say.

Like, it's just like, oh, I'm going to say the cute thing.

I'm going to say the wholesome thing.

I'm going to say whatever.

Right.

It's like you don't, I don't know.

Yeah, he was not thinking here.

He's not.

Because even his strategic explanation does not make sense.

No, no.

Oh.

Oh, boy.

That sucks.

That's bad.

In front of friends.

Oh, that's all all God.

Okay, the verdict was asshole.

Yeah, yeah.

Comments, you're the asshole.

Who humiliates their wife in front of friends?

Oh, right.

You do.

I would strongly suggest you quit.

I would strongly suggest you quit your spin class immediately and spend as much time and effort as it may take groveling to win back your wife's trust.

Good grief, man.

Someone replied to that saying, honestly, OP is going to hear about this for ages, but if he doesn't quit that spin class ASAP, oh boy, he just gave her a massive reason to worry about it in addition to humiliating her in front of friends.

OP, you're the asshole, buddy.

Big oof.

Someone said, you're the asshole.

Dream girl, i.e., someone you will literally never get the chance with, like a celebrity.

You don't put down someone that you know in real life that you interface with on a regular basis.

Exactly.

You're the asshole.

Come on, man.

A woman you know in real life?

There is such a clear difference between talking about a celebrity crush or a character from a TV show.

But you chose someone you realistically could hook up with, which is what your wife will be thinking about from now on when you go to spin class.

Mm-hmm.

Exactly.

Dude, and it had to be a spin class, too.

Like, come on.

I don't know if this is the biggest asshole, but this is the biggest idiot.

So

big, dumb dumb.

Just big, dumb, dumb.

Hall of fame.

Big, dumb, dumb.

Hall of fame stupid.

Oh, my God.

Nuclear stupid.

Oh, man.

Oh, my God.

I've heard of other stories like this, though, where people say a real person.

Like when we were talking about, like, oh, if you could sleep with anyone in the world, who would it be?

And they say someone they know.

It's like, what, what are you doing?

That's just an odd way to answer that question anyway.

Yeah.

And to be fair, most of the time when I've heard those stories, it's like teenagers.

So it's like, oh, you're young and you're not thinking.

I'm like, dude, you're older.

You're married.

Yeah.

What are you doing?

Oh.

Oh, please let there be an update.

There's no update.

The context points that he has talked about this spin instructor to his wife before.

He's been like, yeah, my spin instructor's hot.

Like, what are you doing?

I don't know if I was in a marriage, if if I would want to hear that personally.

People are, I, I, I,

people have varying degrees of it, but there's a matter of trust, right?

There's a matter of like understanding.

I think even if this was a couple where they both feel comfortable being like, whoa, that person's hot or like, oh, yeah, that person's really hot.

In this context, it's still kind of embarrassing.

It's disrespectful

in front of people.

And clearly his wife felt disrespected.

He's writing this post because his wife felt disrespected.

Yeah, if it was like an inside joke that they'd made before,

yeah, but like, no, that's, oh, that's so

uncomfortable.

Yeah.

She was like, good luck getting your spin instructor.

Big shot.

And then we were like,

oh my God.

Oh, I feel very bad for the wife.

Oh, my God, bro.

Oh, lady.

Oh.

No update.

I'm just imagine being a friend in that room.

I don't know if I would be able to keep it together.

I think I would close my laptop and be like

the internet went out.

I think I'd literally be like you're dumb as fuck like I don't know.

I might have to call him out in the moment and be like, that's insane.

Bro, that's crazy.

I would have a hard time not laughing out of complete discomfort.

100% be so uncomfortable.

Absolutely.

All right, our next story.

Am I the asshole?

Like the rest?

Great.

Am I the asshole threatening to kick out my coworker slash roommate for kissing my best friend?

Say that again.

So threatening to kick out my coworker slash roommate for kissing my best friend.

I think I need more context.

Okay.

Kick out of what?

We will find out.

Yeah.

Around February, I, 23, let my coworker Jayden, 25, and his daughter, Leah, 6, move in.

We were coworkers and friends for three years, and he's always been so funny, smart, and cute.

We became really close friends.

Unfortunately, work decided they can't afford to keep everyone and have been making cuts, and Jaden was basically forced to quit.

I know he was really worried about his rent and everything and my roommate was leaving so I offered for him to stay with me and we worked out an agreement.

We decided that while he's still looking for a job, he'd deal with all the chores and errands and housework.

It's honestly been amazing having him live with me.

He's such a great cook and Leah has actually been really well behaved and sweet.

He's helped me out a lot and I really enjoy being able to spend all this time with him.

He has found some part-time work but nothing that pays enough for him to live alone so we've mostly kept our agreement just with me doing more and him helping pay a little.

My friends have come over quite a few times and obviously met him.

Last weekend I had a bunch of my friends stay over.

I thought it went great but the next day Leah told me she saw Jaden kiss my best friend.

I was really upset and Jayden and I ended up arguing about it.

I told him how betrayed I felt.

He tried to say it was fine that apparently that kiss wasn't intentional and he didn't say anything because they didn't know what it meant.

But it's still wrong.

I'm doing so much only for him to do this to me.

I got upset and told him that he will have to leave if he just wants to take advantage of my kindness, that I don't want to live with someone who betrays me like that.

He was offended and just tried to act like it was no big deal and I was being crazy.

He thinks I have no right to say anything about his love life, even though it's my best friend and I'm doing so much for him.

Our talk didn't really work, but I did talk to my best friend and she agreed to back off.

The last few days have been horrible and he doesn't think he's done anything wrong.

I've tried to talk again, but he now refuses to and has been really cold and told me that he'll move out as soon as he can.

I don't think I've done anything wrong.

It's his own fault.

I want to work this out but he shouldn't be going around kissing my friends.

But the fighting has really upset Leah and obviously Jaden thinks I'm an asshole even if he's being selfish.

Edit.

Edit.

In all caps.

I'm not jealous.

This isn't about that.

I'm not in love with him or anything.

I'd know if I was.

This is about him betraying me, about him going behind my back.

Clearly everyone's the type to just hook up without caring about anyone else.

There's way too many people to respond to now.

Like I've said, it's not about jealousy.

I'm not in love with Jaden.

It's just rude and ungrateful to sneak around and do what he did.

Bro.

Okay.

Your best friend is not your partner.

Your best friend is not like...

You.

There's no betrayal.

There's no betrayal.

Unless, in all caps, you're in love with the guy and then you're manufacturing that betrayal or whatever.

Or unless you're in love with the best friend.

I don't want either one.

They're upset about this

kiss.

Yeah.

A kiss upsetting you this much and not really having logic.

The only thing

now you have no say in this.

This is the love life of two completely separate people.

The only thing that I could see myself thinking if I was in their shoes is just like, ooh, this could be messy.

Like, this is my roommate.

This is my best friend.

If they start hanging out, dating, and it doesn't work out,

but it's out of my control.

Yeah.

All I could say is just like, hey, like, that could be messy, but

that's a completely different thing.

That's not betrayal.

Yeah, that's definitely not the place she was coming from.

She's like, this is a personal attack against me.

Like, I am hurt by this, not, oh man, I don't want things to get messed up.

Like, yeah, that's right.

I really hate all the, like, I'm doing so much for him.

It's like, I thought you were explaining.

I thought you said it up that way.

I thought you were explaining that there was a deal here that was fair to you.

And now it's sounding like you think this person is beholden to you.

Right.

In so many ways.

You can't do both.

You're controlling and you don't even have any support for that.

There's no foundation for that.

Exactly.

The verdict asshole.

Comments, I genuinely don't get your issue.

Sounds like you're jealous.

You're the asshole.

Someone said, is Jaden aware that you have feelings for him and that you expected them to return because of your selfless acts of kindness?

You're the asshole.

Someone said, I'm surprised you didn't use the term friend zoned.

Yeah.

Wow.

No update,

but

I think we know.

That person's moving out because they immediately were like, oh,

this is not this.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Woo.

Yeah, I love that the six-year-old broke the news to her.

She was like, what?

They did what?

Oh, my God.

Six-year-old's like, I will never tell anyone ever anything again.

I have learned never to spill secrets.

She thinks kissing is horrible.

Yeah.

Kissing is the biggest way to betray someone.

My dad kissed your friend.

Okay.

All right, dude.

Thanks.

All right.

Our next story comes from Am I the Asshole?

Am I the asshole for calling my brother selfish over his last-minute destination wedding?

All right.

Am I the asshole here?

My brother is really angry at me over over what I said.

Yesterday, one of my brothers announced he had gotten engaged the night before.

Apparently, it was a spur of the moment and not planned ahead of time.

That's what he said.

I was happy for them and it was a happy event.

But then it came out they were having a destination wedding.

Yesterday morning, before they told anyone about their engagement, they booked a river cruise on the Rhine River, an eight-day cruise from Switzerland to the Netherlands.

The wedding will be somewhere along the way.

The cruise starts tomorrow.

They flew to Switzerland today and are staying in a hotel tonight and will fly back the day after the cruise ends after a one-night stay in a hotel in the Netherlands after the cruise.

So a 10-day trip in total.

Not only did they not give advance notice of the fact that they are having a destination wedding, they did not give any information on the river cruise they are going on.

I had to do some googling to find out what cruise company and prices and itinerary.

It turns out the cruise that's leaving tomorrow has sold out already.

They didn't give any info on their flights or what hotels they are staying at in Switzerland or the Netherlands.

I get that the engagement was spur of the moment, but they only gave 12 hours of notice about the wedding.

Besides the fact they didn't give any information about the cruise or hotels or anything, people have kids, jobs, and other commitments and can't just drop everything on less than a day's notice to take an eight-day trip.

Not everyone has the money or passports ready without notice.

Also, the cruise company they are using doesn't allow passengers under 18 for any reason, and there are no exceptions.

I have three kids, and my wife and I can't just leave them for eight days.

Lots of our family, her family, and their friends have kids and it's inconsiderate to exclude them or expect parents to leave their kids somehow for over a week.

It's also inconsiderate to trap your guests on a cruise while you are busy on your honeymoon just because you got married on a cruise.

The result is that no one is going to their wedding.

None from her side or any of their friends.

They are going alone.

My brother got really angry at me when I told him his last minute destination wedding was selfish and inconsiderate, but it's the truth.

Destination weddings are usually somewhat selfish, but by not giving anyone notice, it's really selfish.

I don't even know how they managed to throw together a whole wedding on such short notice, but no one is going because it is so last minute.

Still, my brother is really angry at me over what I said.

So I don't, I think, I think OP,

before I say OP is an asshole, I think they're also just extremely confused and missing the point of what's going on.

Yeah.

Clearly the brother is eloping.

Like clearly they're doing a thing where it's just the two of them and they're going to be.

They're going to go do their thing.

They're like, tomorrow, I can't make it there.

Yeah, man.

It's not.

We know.

So him telling his brother he's being selfish and entitled,

you're the asshole because your brother's not.

You're misreading it.

I'm curious.

I would go further and say this person's for sure the asshole if the brother goes, no, the point is that you're not invited and it's just us two.

And he goes, oh, okay.

but we don't have that um oh my god the verdict is asshole yeah and he is the asshole

you're the asshole they eloped they didn't have a destination wedding

someone responded to that given OP's reaction I can't imagine why they chose to get married in a way that would exclude family Someone said yeah, I love how he went into a full-on PI mode.

Dude, it isn't an oversight.

You aren't invited.

Someone said, exactly.

I wouldn't have thought it was possible to arrange a legal wedding ceremony at the drop of a hat.

So it sounds like the brother and his fiancé have been planning this for a while.

Good for them.

You're the asshole, OP.

You're the asshole.

What part of his plan made it sound like you were invited?

So funny.

I love the idea of like going and like eloping in Vegas and being like, yeah, I had a destination wedding.

I had a destination wedding in Vegas.

Yeah.

I mean, it sounds fun.

I hope they have fun.

That sounds incredible.

Sounds really great.

Look, there is kind of a joy of like finding out, like, look, you want to be there for your family.

You want to be part of these things.

There's also a joy of like, oh, you're going to do that.

Oh, so no wedding that any of us have to go to or worry about.

Like, there is less hassle involved.

There's a plus side to it.

I just, I just put down a deposit for a destination wedding that my friend is having.

And let me tell you, I'd love that money.

So I get it.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

Absolutely.

And I have to believe that surely they're going to do something when they get back.

Like, here's a little celebration with family.

Like, oh my God, that's so funny.

That's so funny.

OP is Homer Simpson.

That's what I'm getting.

Oh, my God.

I keep hearing these stories and like believing the plot from the OP's perspective.

I know.

And then going, oh, right.

Right.

I forgot what this show was.

Yes.

Yes.

All right.

It's time for our last story.

Am I the asshole for breaking up with my girlfriend over four leaf clovers?

Probably.

Probably.

Yeah.

Me, a leprechaun.

My girlfriend, a rainbow.

A rainbow.

Throw it away because my now ex knows of my main account.

Some background.

I, a woman 21, and my now ex-girlfriend, a woman, 22, had been together for two years.

And last spring, we decided to go on a four-leaf clover hunting date.

She didn't find any, but I found three of them.

Ever since I was young, I've had special luck with finding them.

I have a collection of them, actually.

I find them without even looking.

Em, my ex, has also been searching for four-leaf clovers since she was young.

She's never found one, ever.

So naturally.

And frankly, she sucks.

I hope the next part of it is like, she obviously isn't lucky, so I had to break up with her.

She's not lucky, so.

So naturally, I brag about it.

It's always been like a fun, little playful thing between us.

I'm just luckier than her, I guess.

Anyway, to yesterday, the problem.

We went on our four-leaf clover date again.

Within the first 10 minutes, she finds her first ever four-leaf clover.

We cheered and I took her picture with it.

I'm happy for her, but I'm also upset because I wanted to have been the one who found the first one.

It's my thing.

We keep looking for another 10 minutes and I find one, so I hate life a little less.

I found another.

She cheers for me and we move on, looking at different clover patches.

This is where everything goes to actual hell for me.

Dude, I was picking through the grass and everything went to hell.

Everything went to fucking hell.

I hear her yell excitedly and I think she's just found another one.

I tell her cool and move on.

She runs up to me and shows me a fucking six leaf clover.

No!

Holy shit, bro!

I just stare at her.

I grab it out of her hand.

What the fuck?

How does someone who has never found a four-leaf clover find a six-leaf clover?

Those odds are literally insane.

I look at it closely to make sure she's not either lying just to get back at me or that she's not stupid and it's actually just two clovers stuck together or something.

But no, it's actually a six-leaf clover.

I'm actually so pissed.

Why'd she get to find the six-leaf clover?

Hello?

Who finds a six-leaf clover?

So anyway, I tell her that's insane and I'm taking it.

She gets sad and says, nuh-uh, she found it.

It's hers.

We start arguing about who deserves a clover.

I tell her I do because I'm a veteran clover hunter and deserve this to be in my collection.

I gotta go, man.

I gotta go.

What is this?

What is this?

She goes on about it being sentimental or something.

She does that stupid manipulation tactic where she starts fucking crying to make me feel bad.

She starts crying.

I'm not gonna fall for this.

Dude, I bullied my girlfriend relentlessly

over a four-leaf four-leaf clover and now she's crying and manipulating me.

It's bullshit, honestly.

I tell her to suck it up.

I'm keeping the clover.

She hops and wanders off to the car in tears.

Whatever.

She was being ridiculous.

I take my time and look around some more and find two more clovers.

I got bored and decided to leave and to see if she's done pouting.

She sat in the fucking back seats with her arm crossed.

I tell her to stop being dramatic and get into the front seat.

She fucking snaps.

She starts screaming, calling me all sorts of nasty names.

She said I'm manipulative, controlling, and all kinds of other bullshit.

I have never in my entire fucking life been called any of these words, so I'm not sure where she got it from.

I just looked at her while she screamed and hit the back of my seat.

She finished screaming like an idiot, and I let a few minutes of silence go by.

She asked me if I was going to say anything.

I shrugged at her because, like, what does she want from me?

She told me to go fuck myself and take her home.

I shrugged again and pulled out with her in the back seat.

She lives a decent drive from the park where we went clover picking, so the car ride was tense and awkward.

She would just randomly sniffle and it started to get on my nerves, but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to hear her bitch anymore.

Whoa!

About 15 minutes into our ride, I decided I couldn't have this anymore.

This isn't the first time this has happened.

She is so selfish and never lets me have anything to myself and never listens to my side of things.

She always, always does that type of crying shit and then says she just wants me to be nice to her, which I am.

I don't know.

So anyway, we're 15 minutes into the ride and I speak up and tell her I think we need to break up.

She lets out a noise noise like scoffing at me and I didn't like that so I just decided to give it to her.

I told her how I think she should have given me the clover because it was the right thing to do and she is incredibly selfish for not wanting to give it up and seeing me happy.

She stayed silent until we got to her house.

As she was getting out of the car, she told me that I'm the biggest asshole that she has ever encountered and she can't believe she let herself love me blah blah blah.

I'm not an asshole.

I don't think I am.

I told my friend about this and she thinks we're both assholes, so I don't know.

I need more opinions.

Link to a picture picture of the six leaf clover so you know i'm not bullshitting all right hold on let me see this six leaf clover one second

oh god these are real these are these are real people that walk around human beings i know adult all right adult human beings so it's it's got a lot of drawing on it but six leaf clover they she drew all over it so it's hard to see how it's real but those are the clovers Okay, so it's real.

I was kind of doubting if this was real, but I'm like, all right, I guess it is.

This person wrote this whole thing out and didn't get

that they're an asshole.

It's stories like this where I'm like, this has got to be fake, right?

But there are real people like this.

There are real people like this.

There are absolutely real people like this.

If this is fake and somebody just wrote this,

hats off.

Yeah.

Incredible.

That's kind of my take sometimes where I'm like, look, someone could have manufactured this to just piss people off.

But really well done.

Like, and very original, very like original take on a story.

It's sad though that we could, we're like, also like, yeah, this is a real person though.

Like this can easily be a real person.

Some people really get in their heads with like an identity of like, this is my thing.

That's my thing.

I'm owed this.

It's like, no, you're not at all.

And it's

specifically, this is about luck.

Which isn't an identifier thing.

You just, luck is luck.

You're lucky.

It's sometimes lucks too.

Right.

Now, to be fair, she didn't get the six-leaf clover and they ended up breaking up, so that's pretty unlucky.

Yeah, that's true.

Maybe if she got the six-leover.

Maybe if she got the six-leaf clover, they'd stay together.

I love even before the six-leaf clover, the way that she's like, yeah, she found her first ever one, but I was kind of upset because I always get the first one.

Like, or I want to get the first one.

It's like, you suck, dude.

It's like, bro, come on.

It's like, what don't you have in your life that this is the only thing that makes you?

This story is proof that luck may or may not exist, but consequences to actions trump luck.

Sure do.

Like that comes first.

Sure do.

No matter how much luck you have, if you're an asshole, bad things are coming.

I also thought that she was like, no one's ever told me that I'm a fuck ass bastard before.

And it's like, yeah, well.

She made up new words that hurt me.

Verdict, asshole.

Right.

Comments, you need to do some personal work, like maybe with a therapist to figure out why your identity is so tied up with this clover thing.

The bottom line is you're the asshole.

You took took her clover.

She deserved the clover.

She found it.

It's hers.

Give it back to her.

I can't comment on how she behaved because I don't trust your interpretation or your description.

You describe her with a fair bit of contempt, not cool.

Someone said, you're the asshole.

You did her a favor breaking up with her.

Lastly, someone said, yes, you're the asshole.

And everything you accused her of being, it's what you are, LMFAO.

No way you let a motherfucking clover destroy your relationship.

You couldn't even be happy for her that she found a four-leaf clover before you do, even though you found plenty before.

It's good for her that you broke up with her because you're a raging borderline narcissist asshole.

Hasn't heard those words either.

Yeah, brand new words.

It's like, is there like some superiority complex here of like, oh, she never finds four-leaf clovers and I do.

So like, I'm better.

And now that she has, it's like, I'm not better anymore.

It's like if you're playing Mario Kart with someone and you're really good at Mario Kart and you always beat them and then they finally beat you and it's like, no, no, that's not supposed to happen.

I'm the Mario Kart person.

Like, it's so insane.

It just comes back to I'm the blank person.

Yeah.

Right.

Person, not the clover person.

It's also the thing of like, if she was upset in the moment briefly of like, oh, you found it before me.

Oh, like that sucks.

Like I'm usually that person.

But it's like, you're holding on to it.

Like you have that moment and you go, this is silly to feel this way.

Yeah.

Like you have that moment of realization of like, okay.

That's stupid.

Yeah.

I'm happy for you.

You found it.

That's so cool.

But she's holding on to this and she's she's justifying it also Can I say I've never gone clover hunting before it sounds like floral leaf clovers are very common Yeah,

it doesn't sound too lucky.

They're supposed to be yeah, I'm like all right.

They're so common they started making new ones.

Yeah,

these clover patches like shit.

We got to come up with a new one

I'm also the type that when I find special things like that, I'm like, I'm not going to pick it.

Like, leave it.

No, it's a beautiful little nature thing.

Technically, it belongs to nature.

It's not yours.

Wow.

True.

How about that?

I think when you pick the clover, it's no longer lucky.

Ooh.

That's very good take.

It's like, bam.

Good hot take.

Love that take.

Yeah.

Sometimes if I see a penny and it's like heads up, because it's like lucky, I go,

someone else can have that luck.

I don't need it.

Yeah.

I'm so lucky that I don't need that.

Yeah.

How about that?

I walk in the street, get hit by a car.

I should have grabbed that penny.

All right.

Update.

Whoa.

Whoa,

that's crazy.

I would not have thought there'd be an update on this one.

I gave the six-leaf clover back.

It's been a few days, and a lot has happened.

A lot of bad luck has happened.

Oh, God.

I've read all the comments and appreciate the genuine feedback I've gotten, and I realize I am, in fact, the asshole.

I think a few of you went way too far.

I had a few people actually DM me with how hateful and harsh you were in your efforts to make me see that I'm the asshole.

But those of you who called out my problematic behavior and recommend I look into therapy are appreciated.

I personally have a very complicated relationship with therapy and mental health, so I think I won't be getting therapy.

I'll just try to be more aware of my actions going forward.

I did tell my ex that she should maybe look into therapy.

Fuck you, dude.

Dude, dude.

Fuck you.

Don't do that.

God dang.

She didn't take it too well, but I hope she changes her mind.

Right.

She's the type to believe in that stuff, and maybe it'll help her more than it would me.

Anyway, yeah, I gave the clover back.

It was hard, not gonna lie.

Part of me wanted to keep it and never look back, but someone said I'd always look at my collection and know the six-leaf one wasn't mine, and they were right.

I want my own six-leaf clover, not one an X found.

Also, and for the people who said they hope I'd never find another four-leaf clover, fuck you.

I found another yesterday.

It's not lucky then.

Oh my god.

It's not lucky then.

God,

this person sucks so much.

This is so funny.

This person sucks in a very comedic way.

100%.

Oh, this is someone who I think is very funny that I hope I never meet.

Are real.

Oh,

like they're very funny from afar.

Yeah.

I hope they keep doing things and living life and keep writing Reddit stories.

I really hope so too.

Keep writing them down.

I want to read the antics and adventures of this person.

Yes.

And I hope the ex-girlfriend gets to go to therapy because

this other freak has probably fucked fucked her up a little bit.

I love like, I have a complicated history with mental health.

So I'm not going to go to therapy.

But I did recommend it to my ex.

Like, dude, this person and all of these stories are people where their lives are so messed up or they have no friends.

They constantly have things not going right and they go, yeah, life's just unfair.

It's like, no, man, this is consequences for your actions.

No amount of clovers that you collect can counterbalance that.

I love also how the update ended: like, yeah, you know what?

I did the right thing.

I gave back the clover because it wouldn't really fit in my collection.

So I'm just going to go find my own.

Yeah.

It's like, that's what the update was about.

Like, you think you're like a good person for giving up this clover?

You did not just find that

fucking clover.

It was not a kind action because it didn't come from a place of kindness.

It came from going, oh, I realize this is actually worthless to me.

Yeah.

So then I gave it back.

Like my ex.

I became better.

Thank you for your feedback.

I'm a better person now.

And I told her to get therapy.

You're You're welcome.

Oh, God.

And I think it seems pretty clear that this OP was probably being verbally abusive towards the person.

I think it seems pretty clear.

Oh,

I'm very glad that they're broken up with.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

You know, truly feel sorry for the ex that had to put up with that.

Like, that's awful.

So this is OP responding to someone telling her to go to therapy.

Okay.

Okay.

Oh, my God.

I'm not developmentally delayed, nor am I a narcissist.

I just don't want therapy.

I know I'm the asshole.

That has been made abundantly clear.

I take accountability for that and have apologized and given the clover back.

What would therapy do for me?

Bro, literally.

You know what, Fair?

Honestly, what would it do at this point?

Yeah.

Wow.

Oh, man.

I think therapy would bounce right off of them.

The therapist would probably be like, yeah, we're not going to be doing this.

Yeah, no, I don't think so.

Jesus.

Wow.

What a.

Okay, out of all these assholes today, is there one that who

I not who's the biggest asshole, just who were you most entertained by?

I guess it's probably

Clover.

Clover won by a girl.

On the other side of the coin of Clover is

husband writing.

Spin Instructor.

Spin Instructor is pretty impressive, too.

Because that's like, that's...

That's psycho, but in a dumb way.

And this is psycho in a psycho way.

In a deranged way.

I like the balance of them both.

They're all pretty funny in like a way of like, I don't want to be part of it.

Yeah.

From afar, I'm like, LOL.

But

I feel like maybe the most upsetting one to me was

the potluck, the Thanksgiving.

Where I was just like, ugh.

That one probably infuriates me the most.

Yeah.

They're all infuriating, but.

Dude, this is Clover's story.

The Clover story is going to be stuck with me for a while.

That's really so.

Wow.

Redible.

Outstanding.

Start to finish.

Yeah.

Unbelievable.

Great work.

Great performances all around by these assholes.

Truly,

this is a standout episode where I kind of see breakups and divorces happening all around.

Right.

And I can't be upset about any of them.

And I got my pom-poms going forward.

Yeah!

Great!

Oh, just a large amount of disrespect.

Yeah.

Anyways,

thank you both for joining me on this ride today.

Of course.

What a roller coaster it was.

This is beautiful.

Yeah, beautiful.

Man.

Jeez.

Well, I'm so glad I don't know anybody like this.

Same.

I truly don't know anyone like these people.

And I'm grateful for that.

Yes.

Thank you both for joining me today.

Hey, of course.

Thank you for watching.

Let us know in the comments who you thought was the biggest asshole out of all of these stories.

And as always, let us know what other themes and subreddits you'd like to see on this show.

And we'll see you next Saturday.

Goodbye.

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