Roommates From HELL | Reading Reddit Stories

Today, we're exploring deep in the North American wilderness among nature's wildest plants, animals, and

cows.

Uh, you're actually on an Organic Valley dairy farm where nutritious, delicious organic food gets its start.

But there's so much nature.

Exactly.

Organic Valley's small family farms protect the land and the plants and animals that call it home.

Extraordinary.

Sure is.

Organic Valley, protecting where your food comes from.

Learn more about their delicious dairy at ov.coop.

When never thought this would happen actually happens, Serve Pro's got you.

If disaster threatens to put production weeks behind schedule, Serve Pro's got you.

When you need precise containment to stay in operation through the unexpected, ServePro's got you.

When the aftermath of floods, wildfires, hurricanes, and other forces that are out of your control have you feeling a loss of control, ServePro's got you.

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Hello and welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories.

I'm Shane and today's theme is roommates, which is never dramatic at all.

Roommates all get along, everyone knows that.

I'm joined by two people who have been roommates, not with each other, but with other people.

It's true.

Angela and Arasha.

I think being Smosh cast members is a hop, skip, and a jump away from being roommates.

We're basically roommates.

No, basically.

We live in the Smosh house.

We're content roommates.

Yeah, we all live in this room here.

Yeah, Honor Peru.

Yeah.

This is my bed.

Yeah.

Yeah, dude.

Yeah.

For sure.

How do you feel about roommates?

This to me is like

this is like a pretty hefty Reddit story like topic or

category because this is like, okay, we're going to talk open relationships.

Okay, we're going to talk like like, we're going to talk shit that is like full of boundaries and communication and a bunch of people not doing it.

Yeah.

Roommates is complicated, I feel like, because

like I actually feel like I missed the concept of like having a bunch of friends together all under like one roof.

But then I think you get into it it and you start to think about like cleanliness and chores and guests.

And then suddenly it's not actually all that exciting.

Roommates is, it's a tough situation.

Like I think like in relationships, in romantic relationships, moving in together is the biggest step because being like roommates

is more challenging than almost anything else in my eyes.

I only had roommates for a short period of time,

obviously before being married, but

in that short period, like I've, I've joked about it a lot, but I lived in like a back house type of situation that was basically just a converted garage.

And I'm like, while that was like shitty in so many ways, it was kind of nice to also have my separate space that had no AC, but I also didn't have to deal with so many things.

But the kitchen had some drama.

The fridge had a lot of drama.

Oh my god.

Yeah, I kind of had to accept it at a certain point.

I'm just like, I have no real estate in this fridge.

Fridges are bitches.

Fuck fridges, man.

They're such cunning.

But I will say, overall, my roommates were pretty chill.

I had a lot of them.

There was a lot of people cycling in and out.

I would say over the course of a year, I had maybe seven to eight roommates total.

But everyone was actually surprisingly cool.

There was some not cool stuff, but overall,

respectful.

Well, we're gonna read some messy roommate stories.

I can't wait.

Messy.

This first one comes from, Am I Overreacting?

I installed a lockbox for my cheese, and now my roommate says I'm creating division in the house.

Am I overreacting?

Some cheeses, man.

Got to lock them away.

Truly.

Big lockbox.

Even if I lived alone, I'm like, I got to lock this away.

A cow just can come in.

Or else I got to stop myself.

I can't be trusted putting the cheese in your lockbox and then throwing away the key.

Who's that?

I was going to say that's Ratatouille's brother, right?

That's your dream character.

No, what's his name?

Remy?

No, no, it's Remy.

Remy's brother.

Oh, what is Remy's brother?

If anyone wants to Google it, Randy?

Get it.

Randy?

Amiel is his name.

I can see his face now.

Leave it in.

Okay, here we go.

Okay, so this might sound insane, but hear me out.

I, a 24-year-old man, live with two roommates.

One is a 29-year-old man, one's a 28-year-old woman.

One of them, 29-year-old man, is fine.

The other one, 28-year-old woman, is a fridge pirate with sticky fingers and zero shame.

Ew.

Damn.

I don't even think she likes half the stuff she steals.

She just eats it because it's there.

The final straw was my cheese.

My mother brings me cheese from my home country every time she visits.

No, I can't buy it here.

I had it hidden behind the milk for safekeeping, but I opened the fridge yesterday and it was gone.

She said, oh, I didn't think it was a big deal.

It's just cheese.

Uh, several question marks.

No, it's not just cheese.

That cheese was the only joy I had left this week.

So I snapped.

I went into full chaos.

I bought a small fridge lockbox.

Yup, a plastic safe that goes inside the fridge.

Combo lock and everything.

Put my cheese, my fancy yogurt, my cold brew, and my chocolate in there.

Labeled it unauthorized entry will be considered an act of war.

She saw it, and now she says I'm creating division in the house and being hostile and passive-aggressive.

Am I?

Or is this what happens when you push a peaceful person to the brink over dairy?

Because honestly, I'm about three bites away from putting air tags in my hummus.

Okay, now we're being funny.

This person's being a little funny.

Yeah.

Um, look, man, I never in my time of having roommates considered eating anyone else's food.

Right.

I don't understand that concept.

I guess it, I maybe it gets a little dicey when there are some shared stuff, right?

Like, if you are like, oh, yeah, let's all share the eggs, let's all share the milk.

Like, there's been discussions over condiments of it, but if it's like, hey, if you're the one who empties it out you have to replenish you know like you replenish it that's a good rule uh there's some things that are general but a very unique cheese i would say cheese hits the the category of because cheese also that's tough you don't know how expensive a cheese is true that varies that's like wine definitely and especially if you're finishing it you're right

man i feel like the rule even if you do take something you don't finish it you don't finish it like you just hope they don't notice but i will say i think

go with me on this.

Lockbox aside, I think it is adding tension to the House because of it saying this is a declaration of war.

Unauthorized entry will be considered an act of war.

Yeah.

That's why I'm like, okay, now we're scared.

You are adding some crazy tasks.

Is that hostile?

Technically, it is hostile.

Yes.

Am I saying you're in the wrong?

No, but

it is technically.

You are discussing an act of war here.

Like, like just saying those words in a film.

if we were having a diplomacy meeting, I think we'd be like, hey, like,

what are we doing?

Yeah.

Like, maybe just like a little, like a picture of a little guy going, don't touch that.

Yeah.

Like, that's fine.

Something cheeky in the fridge.

Yeah, like MC Hammer, like, can't touch this.

Can't touch this.

Yeah, yeah.

You gotta respect that.

Totally.

But, but, but I guess I get that people are a little territorial over it.

I want to know.

Sounding like the final straw.

Yeah, yeah.

The final string of cheese.

Exactly.

Yeah, the final lock.

But I want to know the specifics of it.

How many conversations about specific things?

And did this person know, right?

Because they're saying it's just cheese, but maybe if they were to learn.

That's good excuse.

I don't like that.

Really?

I don't like just being like, oh, it's just cheese.

It's like, hey, you're eating his food.

Yeah.

Like, I don't know.

Once again, me personally, I never understood the concept of grabbing other people's food.

Especially if you're not like friend, if you're friends and roommates, maybe that hits different territory.

Yeah.

But this is just roommates.

You're kind of strangers.

I'm like, wow, that's wild.

Do you think the lockbox is getting enough

ventilation?

Yeah, to take care of his fancy yogurt and cheese.

Like, if it's a box.

How much ventilation does it need?

I don't know, but you want to see it.

Does cheese need a lot of ventilation?

Well, I just mean like you're just putting like a big box.

Well, it's a

big box, you know?

I've never heard of a fridge lockbox.

That sounds pretty cool.

It is.

It is a little harsh, but it seems like this person was probably pushed to do that.

Yeah.

Comments, oh my god, I would be so upset, especially if it is from Via Ahumada.

Absolutely not overreacting, especially if it has to be brought to you personally.

OP responded, ha ha ha, this is the one.

Yes, it's Villa Ahumata cheese.

Ultimately, what the reality is, is that this is not cheese that he can get at home.

This is only cheese that his mom brings him.

Look, this reminds me of the Rancho Gordo beans.

This does remind me of the beans.

Look, man, which I won't lie, I have a pound of Rancho Gordo beans soaking in a pot right now at home.

He's been talking about it.

When I get home, I'm going to cook it.

Yeah.

It's going to be okay.

Are you all right?

I heard a noise.

What?

Like, in your ear?

What?

What is going on?

Okay.

Okay.

I went to touch my hair, and I swear I heard a duck quack.

What?

I was like something hit something that went quack.

I'm just making sure there's like not a duck.

I want a duck to walk out right now.

And just be like, sorry, can we hold?

Sorry.

You guys are getting this riled up over cheese.

How about some bread, am I right?

I think we're clear.

You can continue shading.

There's no duck back here.

There's no duck.

We're good.

Okay.

That's insane.

I literally went quack like I heard.

Was it you?

No, that would be psychotic.

I heard it going, quack.

I think you quacked.

I think I gotta drink more water.

Okay.

All right.

Some other comments.

Leave it.

Someone said, as a dairy fiend myself, in jail, I was the dairy king.

Very reasonable reaction.

Wait.

What?

Hell yeah.

Sorry, you were in jail?

He killed me.

He came back to say that?

He was talking about rabbits.

In jail, I was obsessed with cheese.

They called me the Dairy King over there.

Yeah, I killed a guy.

Anyways.

Yeah.

Not the asshole.

When people take my cheese, I murder them.

I feel like I'm on true.

This is our first story.

Four stories.

Someone else said, I want a fridge lockbox now.

Don't need one, but now I must have one.

Okay, update.

Cool, Marissa.

Update.

Okay.

Here we go.

Okay, I did not expect this to blow up like this.

I'm laughing so hard, I haven't even got the time to read all the comments.

There's too many.

However, the two big takes are, what is this cheese?

And the note is aggressive.

The cheese is

asadero cheese.

It's Mexican cheese.

And yes, if you look it up, you can probably buy it online.

It is not the same, though.

The one I like and get is from this small 10,000 inhabitant town two hours away from my hometown.

It just has this unique taste and it makes sense to me.

The note is not aggressive, it's a joke.

Like, hey, I'm locking my food away from you, but we're still cool.

However, please stop stealing.

I'm not actually going to go to war, although it would be fun.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure we've moved on.

She's buying me lunch tomorrow, and I'm not getting rid of my lockbox, nor am I getting a mini fridge for my room.

I like the idea of her seeing tasty stuff in my lockbox and not being able to eat it.

It's the lockbox see-through so you can see what's in it?

Yes!

That's evil!

Okay.

That's fucking awesome.

He said he won't go to war, but that would be fun.

He says it's fun.

He says he enjoys tormenting them.

So then it should be like with a funny emoji at the end because the just the words itself are pretty harsh.

Those are scary.

I could see that being devilish if you had a lockbox, you had a bunch of roommates and you're putting just the most delicious treats in there.

Just tiramisu, just like a line of like delicious like cupcakes, like just absolutely

and you're just in your room and you hear at night,

fucking shit.

And then you're hanging out with your roommates and they're just like, like, that's crazy.

Hey, what's your favorite number?

Like, what if we all said our favorite numbers?

What if we just said our favorite four numbers in a row?

Hey, what's your

birthday again?

Cool, cool, cool.

What year?

Cool.

Cool.

What about your mom's birthday?

Just curious.

It's crazy you bought dibs, those like miniature ice cream little things.

I didn't know they had those anymore.

That's crazy.

So you're thinking about your birthday.

So what's your guest's birthday?

That's so good.

Man, I didn't know they made Yoplay with

a Greek yogurt.

That sounds awesome.

He's going to visit one of his other roommates' rooms, and he's just like, hey, what's up?

Oh, is that a crowbar?

It's like, oh, yeah.

Honestly,

I found this.

He brings home all these books, hacking, hacking rocks.

Oh, I'm just studying something.

Oh, this kills me.

We did the whole Seinfeld version of this.

Yeah.

You can't get in, Jerry.

I'm not letting anyone get in.

I mean, look at the stuff in there.

Have you figured out the lockbox?

I'm not sure.

We're trying to figure out the lockbox.

I'm just going to go.

Jerry, you won't get in there to her fancy yogurt.

Diane's over there just like, it's like, oh, you guys care about this lockbox?

Oh, God.

I do want to know more about this fancy yogurt, actually.

I feel like we've heard one of those things.

We skipped over the fancy yogurt.

Yeah.

I want to know.

I bet it's the kids' yogurt with

yogurt.

There's yogurt?

Nope.

Is it the damn?

No, I'm talking about the yogurt that you would get like...

I'm talking about the yog.

Yo-crunch.

Yo-crunch?

Yo-crunch.

I'm talking about the yogurt.

Yo-crunch.

Yogurt for boys.

Yo-crunch.

Wait, you're...

Have you said this opinion on Reddit Stories that yogurt is pink?

I'm not getting into that.

Bring it.

Bring it.

Bring it here.

Bring it to this audience.

Next to this one.

Bring it.

Not next to this one.

Angela thinks yogurt is pink.

All yogurt.

You think like standard yogurt is pink?

I think most yogurt is pink.

Most yogurt is pink.

No, you said all.

Wow.

It's hit every channel now.

The yogurt is pink has gotten the smash we got.

Okay, let's move on to our next story.

Today, we're exploring deep in the North American wilderness among nature's wildest plants, animals, and

cows.

Uh, you're actually on an Organic Valley dairy farm where nutritious, delicious, organic food gets its start.

But there's so much nature.

Exactly.

Organic Valley small family farms protect the land and the plants and animals that call it home.

Extraordinary.

Sure is.

Organic Valley, protecting where your food comes from.

Learn more about their delicious dairy at OV.coop.

When never thought this would happen actually happens, Serve Pro's got you.

If disaster threatens to put production weeks behind schedule, Serve Pro's got you.

When you need precise containment to stay in operation through the unexpected, ServePro's got you.

When the aftermath of floods, wildfires, hurricanes, and other forces that are out of your control have you feeling a loss of control, ServePro's got you.

Simply put, whenever or wherever you need help in a hurry, make sure your first call is to the number one name in cleanup and restoration.

Because only ServePro has the scale and expertise to get you back up to speed quicker than you ever thought possible.

So, if fire or water damage ever threatens your home or business, remember to call on the team that's faster to any size disaster at 1-800-SURVPRO or by visiting SurfPro.com.

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Privacy starts at the source.

Today, we're exploring deep in the North American wilderness among nature's wildest plants, animals, and

cows.

Uh, you're actually on an Organic Valley dairy farm where nutritious, delicious organic food gets its start.

But there's so much nature.

Exactly.

Organic Valley's small family farms protect the land and the plants and animals that call it home.

Extraordinary.

Sure is.

Organic Valley, protecting where your food comes from.

Learn more about their delicious dairy at ov.coop.

The show.

This next one comes from Relationship Advice.

Roommate calls my boyfriend our boyfriend.

I forgot that this isn't all about fridges.

Fridge Reddit stories.

We're talking about fridge stories.

To be fair.

And today I have two fridges today.

And they're running.

We gotta catch them.

It is the last video.

It's the last video on a Monday.

This is bad, guys.

This is really bad.

Am I the asshole fridge?

Stop.

No.

Okay.

I, a 19-year-old woman, have been dating my boyfriend, Will, a 20-year-old man, for about six months now.

I have been in relationships before, but this is definitely my first serious and healthy one.

And I'm really happy with him.

We met in our hometown but we go to different universities that are about two hours apart.

However we try to see each other whenever we can maybe about every three weeks.

Usually Will will come and visit me because A he has a car so it's cheaper slash more convenient for him.

Plus bus routes between our cities no longer exist since Greyhound shuttered.

B a lot of his courses are still online only whereas I have in-person lectures and C my house is a lot nicer than his.

Whenever he visits, he stays for four to five days which my roommates are okay with.

He's also very nice and helpful.

If I'm doing chores, he'll help or he'll help take out the trash, slash wash dishes, slash make me breakfast, etc.

Will.

One of my roommates, Cass, 19-year-old woman, was dumped near the end of September, and since then, I felt like she has been weird with Will.

A few examples.

Sometimes he'll cook for me if I'm busy at school or working late at the lab, and oftentimes he'll make enough for my roommates, too.

Almost every time this happens, Cass makes comments about how he's so sweet and that she wishes she had someone like him and how her ex could never.

Will and I usually reassure her and say she'll definitely find someone who will treat her right, but she just looks at him expectantly.

Expecting what?

I don't know.

When he helps with manly stuff like taking out the trash, installing a hook in my room, moving heavy things, she always makes sure to linger around and comment about how strong he is and how I'm lucky to have such a fit partner.

Whenever he visits, we literally can't avoid her.

If we go out, Cass will ask to come with us.

My roommates and I use an app that tracks our location for safety reasons, and when I I go out with Will and don't tell her she'll usually text me asking where I'm going, what my plans are, if I want to hang out, etc.

We try to stay in my room but if Will goes to the kitchen or something, Cass will always happen to wander in.

We have to lock my bedroom door when we sleep to make sure she doesn't come in.

Knock, knock!

Can you get in there?

I brought cheese.

I'm not much of a drinker, but after our midterms, Cass wanted to have a little thing with just the roommates.

It was fun.

We drank a little and watched movies.

I'm pretty lightweight, so I got sloshed pretty fast, and at some point, I was calling Will.

And when Cass found out I was calling him, she was like, is that Will?

and kept ripping the phone from my hands very aggressively.

She's a lot stronger than I am, and really loudly started talking about her sex life and asking him about his, saying shit like, make sure you hit it deep.

This is pretty in character for Cass, who claims to enjoy making people uncomfortable and makes these kinds of comments for shock value, but I felt like she should have turned it off around my boyfriend.

She was only tipsy at this point, not really drunk.

Overall, anytime he's nice to her, she'll say things like, haha, it's almost like you're my boyfriend.

Uh-uh.

And whenever she refers to him around me, she'll call him our boyfriend as a joke.

But I still feel weird about it.

Will finds this all very uncomfortable and tries his best to avoid Cass as best as he can or shut her down when she makes those comments.

I'm not sure if I should bring it up with her because on one hand, I'm very uncomfortable, but on the other hand, I feel like she'll just deny everything or say it's all for jokes and maybe get hostile with me any advice appreciated

yeah I feel like there's plenty of signs here

absolutely I mean of course she wants to date Will we all want to date Will

look Will sounds like the best boyfriend on the planet right he's our boyfriend he is our boyfriend he's ours okay but you can't have him no he's ops i think she needs op needs to get a lockbox that she could put will in

put your man in a lockbox

Damn.

I don't want to be like, hey, OP.

Your roommate wants to fuck your boyfriend.

Oh, no, and she knows.

She's, yeah, she's aware of this.

Hey, OP.

Your roommate wants to fuck your boyfriend.

She's giving her the best.

She's giving Cass the benefit of the doubt.

Truly, truly.

Pretty clear.

Damn.

Bunch of comments here.

Next time she says that to Will, he should say, no, I'm...

your name's boyfriend.

And when she says it to you, you should do the same.

Make it clear clear he is not her boyfriend, and you have to start putting boundaries in other situations too.

Like when you go out and she asks you to come, you should say, no, it's a date, we want to be alone, and so forth, and so on.

Someone else said, since both of you are uncomfortable, you should talk to her about it.

Hey, I'd like to talk to you about something.

It makes Will and I uncomfortable when you make comments about him being your boyfriend and wanting to hang out with us all the time.

I feel like you are crossing a boundary in my relationship and I would like you to stop.

Lastly, someone said, have you talked to your other roommates about it?

If so, what do they say?

If you haven't yet, I'd bring it up with them first.

Get their opinion on it.

It'll also help later on if when you bring it up to Cass and she tries to turn it around on you slash will, which I feel like she will, right?

Like, they're 19 roommate situations like this.

Like, she's gonna say you're overreacting.

She's also going to like make you pay for it.

Yeah.

When you bring it up.

That last comment actually is interesting to me.

I don't know if I would loop the other roommates in.

I feel like I would maybe start.

maybe I'm missing some context here, but I feel like I would start with just the clear boundary setting of being like, no, he's my boyfriend, or having, you know, Will kind of communicate that too.

And also being like, actually, we were hoping to just go on a date, just the two of us, and kind of start there.

And then if the conversation needs to happen, then approach it.

And then I feel like I would have other people for support.

But for me, I don't know.

I feel like this maybe seems like it's kind of just between them.

Sure.

I mean, it depends on the roommate situation.

I mean, my take is I feel like a lot of roommates will just be like, oh, yeah, I don't know, weird.

But

that's so engaging the roommates that I had.

But

update.

Fuck yeah.

Oh my god.

He is now all of their boyfriend.

You think it's going to be a little bit more.

Huge orgy

where Will hits it deep

the way that Cass likes it.

What?

She's just repeating it.

She's just saying what the story was.

She's just saying what the story was.

She's just saying what it was.

She's just saying what the story was.

I'm just saying what it was.

Guys, relax.

Okay, Dinah, no.

Hey there.

A couple people were asking for an update, so here it is.

I also found out this post blew up on TikTok, which is pretty funny because Cass has a crippling TikTok addiction.

I read pretty much all the comments, discuss stuff with Will, and we decided that I'd try bringing it up with my other roommates.

And if the behavior persisted while he was here, we'd try our best to shut the behavior down jokingly or by using social pressure.

To give an idea of the timeline, I made my original post under a week before he was supposed to visit, so the following things have happened.

Before his visit, I was alone with one of my roommates, Jen, and I started to bring up Cass's behavior around Will.

I didn't even get a sentence in before Jen stopped me and said, I know, she's been weird.

Apparently, Jen and our fourth roommate, Eva, had discussed this before, but they weren't sure if I even noticed because I didn't seem to react.

Jen is definitely the closest to Cass.

We all went to high school together, but I was only really friends with Eva at the time.

She said she brought it it up privately with Cass after Will's last visit, and Cass just did a thing where she talks and incoherently defends herself.

Eva and Jen agreed to step in if shit got out of hand with her.

Cass was very excited for Will's visit and would say stuff like, oh, I can't wait to see him, or just a few more days.

I have a test from 7 to 9 p.m.

on his second day here, and apparently she talked to Jen about picking out a movie for the two of them to watch while I wrote my biochem test.

She settled on Sinister 2 for anyone wondering.

Okay.

I wasn't.

Jen said that she was out of line, but again, Cass just incoherently defends herself.

Every time she made comments like that, my roommates and I would just silently give her a look and say, um, okay, anyways, and change the subject, which seemed to at least make her self-conscious.

During his visit, Cass was all over him as soon as he got here, pouting and saying, where's my hug?

Jen hugged her instead and we use this time to escape into my room, LOL.

Day two rolls around, and as soon as I'm out of the house, she tries to get Will to watch the movie with her, saying she really wants to watch it but doesn't think she can do it alone.

Will politely declines and continues playing video games in my room and she leaves.

Throughout the rest of the visit, I'm firm with her, telling her she can't come on our dates, saying she's being weird when she makes comments about how hot he is or how he's our boyfriend.

Will has also done what one other commenter suggested and just point-blank said that he's my boyfriend and that he'll never be hers.

At some point, he's so aggravated he stops talking to her or acknowledging her at all because he was worried he would yell at her.

I've never heard him raise his voice before this.

As time wore on, I felt like she got increasingly desperate for Will's attention.

This is the absolute craziest part.

Just now, while I was showering, Cass went into my room where Will is in her underwear and a bathrobe, saying she knows he's playing hard to get, but that he can't resist her.

Barf.

Will Will started yelling at her to get the fuck out, which alerted my roommates and I.

Eva and Jen dragged a tearful Cass out of my room.

She even called me a skinny bitch on her way out.

I think they're going to drop her off at a friend's house tonight.

I'm just fucking floored.

I really did not expect her to go nuclear like this, but god damn.

Oh

my god.

Yeah.

I really was about to just be like, okay, like it's really unfortunate.

Like, because it is just like a sad situation for Cass, right?

Like, at first, I feel like I kind of am giving her empathy because I'm like, that is a really tough situation if you are really crushing on this guy who you're like, oh my God, he's so perfect.

And you're envious of your roommate having this experience, but she completely has crossed the line and done everything possible to be inappropriate.

And that's where it's like, girl, we really can't make excuses for you.

She's crossed a million lines.

I mean, the level of delusion too of like picking a horror movie to want to watch with him.

She can't watch her too long.

Right.

She's like, oh my god, I'm going to make my move.

Like, oh my god, he wants me to.

I'm going to seduce him, and this is going to be the perfect plan.

And it's just like, oh.

Yeah, and like, look, there's, you can't help who you crush on.

Like, she has a crush on someone who's taken, but you can choose your actions and go, oh, well, I shouldn't.

do anything about that.

Yes, I should be out of the house maybe when she was.

She is just absolutely crossing every boundary.

There was also a thing that she did that's a big red flag to me, and she's a where's my my hug person.

I don't like those people.

No, where's my hug at girl?

Where's my hug?

I don't like it.

No, no.

And that's just cringy and weird and the other roommate had to be like, it's right here.

Man, that is bold to

walk into the room in underwear and a bathrobe and go, hey, look.

We can't deny this, Ted.

To be honest, I'm sorry, but it is kind of also hilarious.

Oh, it's hilarious.

But she's like, you're obsessed with me.

And then she's like, you're skinny bitch.

Crashes out immediately.

That's insane.

Look, you can't deny this.

And he's like, please get out.

And she just goes, ah!

Well, your girlfriend's a skinny bitch.

And I love the way you take out the trash.

Like, what is happening?

That's so sad.

Update number two.

No!

Yes, she moved.

She moved.

Cass is out.

And Revanti moved.

I talked with with my roommates, and Jen called Cass's mom.

As pissed as I am, I'm obviously very concerned for Cass, as even though she wasn't the most pleasant person before, none of us could have expected her absolutely unhinged behavior.

Cass has gone back home with her parents now.

I haven't pried, so I don't know exactly what their plans are now or how she's doing, but it seems like she'll be far away for a while, as her parents came back to pick up almost all of her belongings.

They'll continue to pay her share of the rent and even left some apology pastries, which was very nice of them.

As awful as that experience was for Will and I, we ultimately decided not to file any kind of complaint or restraining order for the time being, as her parents seemed to have the situation under control and we didn't want to drag the issue out longer than it needed to be.

I hope this is the final update.

Thanks for following my story.

Wow.

Okay, now I really feel bad for making fun of her.

Why?

In a way, she wasn't well.

I just think it's a little sad.

That makes me sad.

It is sad.

Yeah.

But she's, it's

probably for the best.

Yeah, and she's fortunate that she has parents who can pay the rest of her rent and kind of right the situation.

Like, it seems like at least she has some support in that way.

Feels like maybe she just

got ahead of herself or and just

got a little,

yeah, I don't know.

Yeah, like, I feel like sometimes, maybe, like, I forget how long it had been since she had gotten broken up with or whatever situation she was in, but maybe it could have been that, like, she was seeing the situation completely differently and she was kind of going down that path and being like, oh, this is the truth and this is how I'm seeing it.

And she really is like, he wants me and we are supposed to be together.

And so sort of shaping that narrative.

But obviously everyone on the outside was like, no, this is what's happening in our reality and it's not okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Yeah.

That's hard.

But it's good.

She's, it's good for OP and her boyfriend.

And it's good they didn't have to like get legal with it.

It didn't have to get too bad.

I mean, all it took was the boyfriend saying, please get out.

Like, I do not want to be with you.

And now they they know that they're faithful to each other.

Yeah.

I mean, hey, it was quite a quite a test.

And also, her parents seem really understanding because, like, a lot of people will have to leave a living situation for like health reasons, like, really quickly.

And then those roommates are like down and out without a roommate.

Yeah.

And it feels like they're still handling it.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

So it worked out there.

It did.

Dang.

That was wild.

That was wild.

Yeah.

I want to see Will.

Back to more fridge stuff.

Yeah.

Our next one.

Freezers.

Am I the asshole for finding out I've been unknowingly paying rent to my husband and his mom for two years?

What?

All right.

Uh-uh.

Why is the mom in there?

I, a 31-year-old woman, have been married to Brian, 33-year-old man, for two years.

Right after the wedding, we moved into an apartment he said was a great deal from a family friend.

We agreed to split rent and utilities 50-50 to keep things equal since we were starting fresh and wanted to avoid money fights.

So I've been sending him $700 a month just for the rent this whole time.

Three days ago at a barbecue, I overheard his mom talking about how it's nice getting rent from Brian's place and how smart they were to keep it in the family.

Turns out his mom owns the apartment and Brian's on the deed too.

I had no idea.

He never told me.

Just let me keep paying rent for two years like a clueless roommate.

When I confronted him, he said I never asked and that I'm overreacting because we weren't overpaying.

But I feel completely blindsided.

It's not just the money, it's the secrecy yes I told him I won't keep paying until we talk about a fair setup now he's acting like I'm the problem what the hell the mom and Brian owned the apartments yeah but she's paying the monthly but she's paying them rent or she's paying them yeah the mortgage she's paying the mortgage but is so no or is she paying the mortgage or is it just like the place is already paid off and we actually we don't even know right they could have had they could have it paid off and they're just she's just giving them money they're just making money off of the place now she's living in it.

Uh, she's this is her husband,

like, no, this, this, oh, this is a massive red flag, no, incredibly messy.

Holy like, sorry, wait, that's your money combined that you're taking.

What?

And they never told her.

He's basically, he's basically stealing from his wife, is what he's doing.

And the fact that he's turning around being like, you're overreacting that I didn't tell you where your money is going.

You didn't ask.

Oh, I'm so sorry that I didn't ask you.

Wait, are you on the deed?

That was a question that you were just supposed to come up with.

If your husband or wife buys property and doesn't tell you like what kind of marriage is that that's terrible and then you are financially involved but you don't know you're financially you are liable for that property and you don't know for two years yeah no that's this is where i talk about where i'm like this is cheating to me like this is in the same realm of cheating where it's like such disrespect of not telling your partner something and making huge decisions having huge things going on, not involving them.

Which is just like, why are you married then?

Like,

why would you marry somebody who you want to exploit like that?

That kind of response to the response is almost always worse than the action itself.

True.

When people get called out for the thing and being like, well, you didn't ask.

It's like, dude, fuck you.

It's like, you're cheating on me.

Well, you didn't ask if I was seeing somebody else.

You piece of shit.

I don't think you want a wife.

I think you want a subletter.

Verdict was not the asshole.

Comments, it's not even that you didn't ask.

He said it was a family friend.

It wasn't.

It was him.

Yeah.

Someone said, and I bet she's the only one paying rent.

OP replied, yeah, he's never shown me his half of the rent going anywhere.

Starting to think I was the only one paying anything.

That's like so, what an awful feeling to feel like you're the only one paying.

Someone said, not the asshole, but girl, I'd be drafting divorce papers in a Lisa Frank notebook because this is giving financial betrayal and mama's boy energy.

Like imagine being married, paying rent, and finding out you're the tenant in your own damn marriage.

This man let you roommate his investment property without telling you.

That's not just shady, that's premeditated.

You didn't marry a husband.

You married a landlord with benefits.

Lastly, lastly, someone said.

I saw her on the show.

That comment.

Like that.

That's right.

Damn.

Someone said, as far as I can tell, she can claim she's been paying for maintenance on the home this whole time.

So that entitles her to equity in the home.

They're married, and since she's been paying this money, she can demonstrate that it's a shared marital asset.

She should get a lawyer and get her half of the house.

100%.

If she is paying this mortgage, she is involved in this house, and it's not just the mother anymore.

That's crazy.

And it is total boy mom energy to just like be making this kind of partnership and deal with your mom when you are married.

What the hell?

And like, not letting your partner in on it.

It's just like, like, it just keeps going.

She found out via the mom saying stuff too.

At a barbecue?

Yeah.

Like, what were they serving?

No, what were they serving?

That's a barbecue.

I need to know.

It's a very deliberate plan.

This was, this was evil.

Yeah.

That's bad.

I hate that.

I hate him.

I feel so bad.

I hate him.

I hate him.

I hate him.

Brian.

There's no update on that.

It was very recent.

So sorry.

It's because they're in a courtroom.

Hopefully.

I hope so.

They're too busy to update.

Yeah.

Next story.

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Comes from Am I the Asshole.

Am I the asshole for telling my best friend she can't do her adult content at my house?

We need to watch this content.

My best friend was recently kicked out of where she was living and asked if she could stay with me in this emergency situation as she had nowhere else to go right now.

I instantly said yes.

We moved all her furniture and bigger things into a storage unit and she brought a few suitcases to my place.

I'll be honest, at the time, I really wasn't thinking about her work situation.

I knew her job was OnlyFans.

That's what she did for a living.

That's how she made her money, and I've never judged her for that.

However, the following day after she moved in, I took my daughter to school and came home to do my own work.

I work from home.

She wandered into my kitchen at like 12 p.m.

and told me she had some videos she needed to make.

I instantly knew what she meant by that, and I said, well, I mean, are you going to be quiet during these videos?

She laughed and said, no, but you're my best friend, so I don't mind if you hear me.

To which I responded with, I mind if I hear you.

I'm not gonna lie, I don't feel comfortable with you making those videos in my house.

You can take your pics and stuff though.

Granted, you don't do it while my daughter is home.

She got a little snippy and upset with me and told me that making custom request videos was how she made the majority of her money and she had a bunch of requests that she needed to do.

I told her again that I don't feel comfortable with that specifically.

She told me to wear headphones.

I said, I do wear headphones because I have pretty much constant work calls throughout my day and I can't have you moaning and screaming in the background.

I ended up saying, If you can be quiet, then you can while I'm here working, and again, as long as you're not doing it when my daughter is home.

She told me she won't be able to be quiet because that's not what they, her clients, want.

So I told her, I'm sorry, girl, no, I can't have that.

She's now a little pissed off at me because I'm basically stopping her from making decent coin while she'll be staying with me until she finds a new place, and that she has nowhere else to go to do it.

I feel bad, but I think my feelings and reasons are justified.

Am I the asshole?

Um,

I think it's it's her home.

Like, that's that seems like a very reasonable request.

Like, that's tough.

Like, she's already doing so much for this friend.

Totally.

Like, it's like, hey, like, I'm, I clearly very quickly was willing to, like, shelter you in this time of need,

but, like, no, I don't feel comfortable with this.

Totally.

That's tough.

That's a tough thing.

It would maybe be a tad more nuanced, but there's a kid involved as well.

Yeah.

which I think is where it becomes a little more defined for me.

Yeah.

And it didn't seem like she was putting too much thought into that, you know?

It seemed like she was like, OP seems like there's a little bit of compromise.

She's saying, like, if you can be quiet, you can take your pictures, you can do this.

But she's not really being like, okay, well, can we come up with a schedule?

Or can we, you know?

The OP's not even like judging her.

Right.

The OP is just saying, hey, like, I don't judge you for what you do.

I just don't feel comfortable with that going on in my home it's like totally okay like cool you know yeah i that's just it's just it's unfortunate for her friend because that's her job right so she needs some place to do it but then it's also like another

like her job is being also a mother And your kid's in the house.

You know what I mean?

Like, that's like a, that's a job that takes over your house too.

And like,

and that is, if she doesn't want her kid near that, I think she's allowed to.

Like, to me, the motherhood of it all kind of trumps it all.

Yeah.

It's really tricky.

It is is tricky.

I wonder how long she's going to be at this house.

I feel like

the most accommodating you could do is be like, my daughter and I will be out of the house from this hour to this hour.

You can do it then.

Yeah.

But you can't do it when we're home.

Like, I feel like that's reasonable.

I'm also confused, too, because it's like, if she's saying, right, in her words, she's making decent coin, like, there has to be some other place that she could also invest some of that money in order to have a private space to do that to have the best performance possible and make more money no yeah i mean i don't know i don't we don't know how much money she has or anything because like my my head went to like can you not go rent like a hotel room or something to like do this in like are you making enough money that that's possible yeah but use the storage unit it's also like how long

it's also like how long she's at their place because if it's like hey if we're talking like a week or two it's like hey i'm sorry like for this two weeks yeah sure this is the situation yeah if it's months it's like then this is not gonna to work out.

Totally.

She's also, she's not gone.

Like, she's on work calls.

So, like, she is talking to people on her laptop probably.

Like, that's not comfortable to have.

Totally, yeah.

If that gets overheard, like,

what do you do?

Right, because then that affects her job.

Yeah.

And it's that kind of like understanding that I just don't think they are both having together right now.

No, no, it's just ultimately it's her place, like, it's her rules.

Yeah.

The verdict was not the asshole.

Comments, not not the asshole.

She needed help and you are helping her.

She's disrespecting your house rules.

If she really makes so much coin doing it, she can easily get a hotel room.

Someone else said she needs to check into a cheap motel and do her content.

She can afford it.

OP said she can definitely afford it.

Yeah, I'm sure there's things she can do, but she's being a little snippy with me and doesn't understand why I care.

If she can afford a hotel room or a motel room, then it's like, dude, do that.

Then you get to go and do it and not worry about the person that you're living with.

I feel like that also just subtracts points that she's she's being, you know, snippy about it.

It's just kind of like, yeah, this person has housed you and taken you in.

Like there has to be some sort of understanding of like, I totally understand.

Like I'm not going to try to be in your hair.

But instead, it seems like she's almost taking advantage of that generosity.

Yeah.

Someone else said if she has money and a job, why couldn't she find a hotel to stay in?

OP says she claims she won't be able to do her videos in a hotel room because she'll probably get complaints.

She said she didn't think I'd care.

Okay.

So you'd get complaints in a hotel, but not.

Yeah.

So it's like, she's talking about being very loud.

Yeah.

Like, if it's so loud that you're going to get complaints in a hotel,

I mean, this is extreme.

Yeah.

It's like, then where do you go?

I'm really going back to the storage unit.

I'm like, nobody's in there.

Yeah, you're really, yeah.

Guys, use code Arasha in your storage unit.

For the storage unit, not for the only thing.

Oh, yeah.

Just clearly.

I just keep going back to how great storage units are.

And now we're underutilizing.

Yes.

Update.

Small little update.

Oh, she's gone.

She finally listened and has booked a hotel room for the night just so she can go and get these requests that she has built up done.

She's let her subs and clients know that she's not going to be taking requests until she's settled in a new place.

She's also just told me that she thinks she found a new place to rent and she's now starting the process of that.

Problem solved.

Done deal.

Done deal.

Yeah.

Great.

Yeah, there you go.

There you go.

And there's no links or anything.

No, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, dude.

Just want to know, you know.

For sure.

Is anybody hot?

Okay, our next story.

This comes from Too Hot Takes.

Shout out to Morgan over at Too Hot Takes.

Love Morgan.

I think my roommate may be poisoning me.

It's back to the cheese.

I am a 25-year-old woman and I live in Seattle.

I just moved here a few months ago from New York City because of my dream job and I was so excited.

I work as a data analyst and I make a very comfortable living.

It felt like my life was finally all starting to fall into place.

The only thing I needed was a place to live.

I looked to Facebook because I figured that might be the best place to find a roommate.

I found this girl, let's call her Kate, 26-year-old woman, and she seemed perfect.

She said that she and her boyfriend, 29-year-old man, were in a two-bedroom apartment that was very spacious in a great location and were looking for someone to rent the room.

She said she was a seventh grade English teacher and her boyfriend was a physical therapist.

All her interests and hobbies seemed to align perfectly with mine, so I agreed to live with them.

I moved in one month after initially finding each other and everything started off great.

Kate and I were friendly and had good conversations when we would interact.

One day however I got home and she seemed to be in a very bad mood.

I asked her about it and she ignored me and walked into her room.

I didn't think anything of it, but then I received a text from her that read, I know you want to fuck my boyfriend.

And that's all she wrote and that's all she wrote that's all she wrote I was very confused because that was completely untrue I have been cheated on in the past and know how devastating it is so I would never want to inflict that pain onto someone else there were more texts exchanged and everything seemed to be good but when I saw her in person she continued to act weird but I brushed it off the next day however she began to act very nice and sweet even offering me a smoothie because she knew I was too busy in the mornings to make breakfast I accepted and went about my day.

The smoothies continued every morning, and I just thought she was being nice.

Now, I am experiencing some symptoms, and I'm a bit scared.

My hair has started to fall out, and my hormones have been all over the place.

I have developed some weird stomach issues, and I get headaches all the time now.

This is all new to me.

It may be that the move and all this change is affecting my health, but it does seem to have started around when the smoothies did.

I don't know how to catch her and see if I'm right, and I don't want to seem rude and stop accepting the smoothies if I'm wrong.

I don't know what to do.

I need some advice.

This is literally an episode of Make It or Break It.

They literally, she poisons her with smoothies.

Don't have the smoothies.

Go to Tommy.

She's doing the smoothie.

Did someone write out just an episode from Make It or Break It?

No.

Because they were gymnasts.

Okay.

No, because they were gymnasts.

But this is where they got the idea.

And these are roommates.

Jane, they were Jane's.

They were roommates.

Bro, stop drinking the smoothies.

Just stop drinking the smoothies.

Just do something else.

You take the smoothie, you go outside, you dump it out.

I think the smoothies are poisoned, but I don't want to be rude.

Yeah.

I can't criticize her.

I'm like, that's also me.

Yeah.

That would be me.

No, you take the smoothie and then you go to a poison tester and you say, what is the content in here?

I've seen the top comment says that.

Top comment says, please see a doctor, ASAP, take the smoothie with you.

Or go to the hospital.

Again, take the smoothie with you.

Please do this now, not later.

In all seriousness, the hair loss is concerning.

Hair loss accompanied by other symptoms you're describing all point to heavy metal poisoning.

I'd rather read an update from you than hear about you on one of my true crime podcasts.

Oh my God, all because she just wants to fuck her boyfriend?

Dude.

She's like, all because I walked in on him in my underwear and baggage.

This is

insane.

OP responded to that saying, wow, I didn't realize that they would be able to test it at the hospital.

That is 100% what I will do.

I also do not want to be on a true crime podcast.

Thank you very much.

This is beyond helpful for me.

Holy shit.

Update, update, update.

I'm going back.

I'm just because we didn't talk much about it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is scary.

She doesn't know these people that well.

She like went in, suddenly one day, it's just like, just leaves texts.

I know you want to fuck my boyfriend.

Like, ooh.

We're seeing the flip of the other one where it was obvious that the roommate did want to fuck the boyfriend.

Yeah.

Now you have this suspicious.

And now it's like suddenly smoothies,

but like hair falling out.

Yeah.

This is like, this is, this is what people like read and hear about, and then they're like, okay, I'm not doing the random roommate route anymore.

Like, this is what makes people not want to interact with the future.

It's on Facebook Marketplace.

Right.

But also, there's so many success stories, and you have normal people, but then you have situations like this.

Side note, never really realized that the word movie is in smoothie.

No, it's not.

No, it's not.

Smoothie is movie.

Smoothie.

With an M.

No.

O-I-V-E.

It's, they're literally

so different.

You think a smoothie is, you think smoothie is spelled S-M-O-V-M-M-S-M-M-E-M-E-M.

No, no, no, I just think I think the word smoothie is in,

I think the word movie is in smoothie.

But it's not.

But it's literally not.

All right, there's an M and there's an O, and that's about it.

I like how we've read some unhinged stories, but the comments are all going to be about this now.

They're going to be like, I see it.

No, Angela's right.

There was a duck there, and the movie is smoothie.

What?

Sorry, it's been a long day.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But I'm going to focus now.

A special day today.

We have filmed eight videos today.

Yeah.

Okay.

Another comment said, in addition to what everyone else has said about getting the smoothie and your blood tested, I would also suggest that you keep accepting the smoothies to go and then dump them in the trash once you're away from the house.

If she is crazy enough to try to poison you like this, you don't want to tip her off that you're on to her.

Yes.

Who knows what else she might try instead?

Also, even if the smoothie and your blood test come back normal, I would still continue accepting the smoothies to go and dumping them just in case.

If nothing else, this will at least help you identify if they are the cause of your symptoms, whether from poisoning or something else or not.

Lastly, someone said, I'd do a hidden camera in the kitchen where she's making the smoothies.

I think getting them tested, like, if these smoothies have heavy metal poisoning in them, the healthcare workers will do.

Yeah.

This is why these shiny silver smoothies that she's giving.

Oh my gosh, okay, but also at the same time, start packing, right?

Like, she should be on her way out anyway.

Yeah.

I feel like, regardless of the poisoning, the text.

I'd be getting out.

I'd be getting out.

Oh, yeah.

That text happens.

I'm like, I'm going to find new roommates.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're right.

You're right.

Which is so interesting, too.

Like, that's a whole element on its own that I feel like we can touch on: is like roommates, yes, but also like living with a couple.

I feel like so many people have roommates.

And look, I also,

I have a lot of feelings.

I know she's probably in a a tough situation.

Moving sucks.

Yeah.

And it's also like, we don't know her financial situation.

But in this situation, you think your life is on the line.

You think this person, let's be clear, you think this person might be trying to kill you.

That's a situation where I'm like, you need to get out.

Yeah.

Get out.

But for your own life.

Get out.

And sometimes in those scenarios, you're like, that couldn't be happening, could it?

Sure, it's not.

And that is why I'm...

I am weirdly grateful for Reddit because sometimes people will say something and they're like, this is just a little insane or is it?

and then everyone's like go to the hospital check it out yeah look

at least remove the possibility here's the thing it sounds unreal because it it it is in normal day-to-day life but at the end of the day people do poison other people it does happen is it rare yeah but can it happen yeah yes so you can't just say oh well this only happens in true crime podcasts like those true crime podcasts get their content from somewhere well i i also feel like it's quite rare already that this roommate has texted you something so abrupt.

That is a full-on declaration of war.

Yeah.

Like that, and I feel like, again, that maybe it isn't like super rare.

It's not as rare as like somebody trying to poison you, but if it's going down that way, I don't think it is insane to draw the link between somebody saying this crazy accusation and then them trying to do something to hurt you.

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Update.

What do we think happened?

I think there was something in the smoothie.

Oh, my fucking hair.

Thank you to all that have expressed concerns for me and my safety.

I really appreciate all the advice I received as well.

I want to keep this brief as this experience has been traumatic.

I took the advice to go to the hospital and did just that.

I went to the hospital the day after posting and brought along the smoothie.

They told me that they were unable to test the smoothie at this time, but they did give me a blood test as everything would still show up there.

This would also indicate what is happening in my body and why I might be experiencing these symptoms.

To make a long story short, it turns out my roommate was adding some sort of creatine or protein powder into the smoothies because she wanted me to bulk up so I was no longer seen as desirable to her boyfriend.

I told her about what happened at the hospital and she told me everything.

That is what was causing my headaches, stomach issues, and potentially the hair loss because I'm apparently allergic to it.

So technically she was not poisoning me, just trying to make me bulky.

So she just tried to make her buff.

Awesome.

This, however, is not the traumatic part.

While the doctors were giving me all the blood tests, they found that I have leukemia.

This news has been hard for me to deal with now because of my new circumstances.

I will be moving back home to be around family as I go through treatment.

No, this was not at all how I expected this to turn out, but maybe in a way it's a good thing.

I'm not really sure, but I know I'm going to be okay in the end.

Thank you to everyone again for the support and concern for my well-being.

Holy shit.

Yeah.

I'm hoping based on her comment, but maybe in a way it's a good thing.

I'm not really sure, but I know I'm going to be okay in the end.

Yeah.

Hopefully that it got caught early on.

I don't know.

I'm not a doctor.

I don't know much about leukemia.

I know it's awful.

Cancer's.

Is that what the hair loss, all those symptoms were?

She's saying all the symptoms.

So this is actually a flip and this is wild.

It sounds like most of her symptoms came from the allergy.

Yeah.

But she went and got her blood tested because of what this allergy in the smoothie was doing to her and then it turns out she had leukemia.

Right.

That didn't have any symptoms as far as I'm understanding from the story.

Right.

So this was actually

all

unbelievably lucky that she went to the hospital at that time.

That she got her blood tested when she wouldn't otherwise.

Which is so wild to think about.

I don't know.

I don't know much about cancer, but I do know that it can really go undetected for a long time.

I was going to say, like it doesn't necessarily cause symptoms yeah it takes a long time for people in our healthcare system to get their blood tested like you need like it takes a lot so like

her saying like I think I have metal or OP saying they I think I have metal poisoning is like okay let's test your blood yeah for sure so if this hadn't have happened it could have been like she would not have known symptoms of other things that's wild my heart goes out for them wow

turned out okay and also like what an old 90s 90s movie way to sabotage someone.

Like, what does this fucking mean, girls?

I just think that's so ridiculous of a way to, like, sabotage someone.

Right.

It's actually, no, it's quite childish, actually, to be like, I'm going to make you bulk up, and that's what's going to make my boyfriend not attracted to you.

It's going to be undesirable.

That's just wrong.

No.

Yeah, and she needed to move out anyways because that's still

sad as it is.

It is still.

technically like putting stuff in in their food and not telling them which is very much

crossing the boundary Incredible.

I do think it's hilarious of all the choices.

It's like, haha, I'm making you stronger.

No, literally, she's like, so putting frontine in your smoothies.

How dare you?

Literally.

What?

Also, like, straight up, like, I don't know how...

I think she thinks creatine works in ways that creatine does not work.

Definitely.

Like, it's not going to change you like that.

In this situation, I'm glad everything worked like this to get her there to testing her blood.

Yeah.

God.

Poor thing, that's hard.

Okay, our final story.

Angela, you're going to love this one.

My roommate is convinced that he has infinite garlic powder.

Oh.

I just, garlic.

That's really funny.

No, but I love garlic.

Yeah, garlic's incredible.

I don't know.

I just garlic.

I saw garlic powder and I was like, yo, you're going to probably like it.

Because she's a vampire.

Vampires hate garlic.

It's not true.

It's not true.

Which is why you hate this story.

It's not true.

If anyone anyone on the cast was a vampire, it'd be you, Rasha.

Thank you so much.

You're welcome.

Okay, so this story came from True Off My Chest.

I've been living with my roommate for a little over two years.

Early on, I noticed that he really liked putting garlic powder on just about everything.

We each have our own separate bottles of garlic powder.

His is medium-sized, and the one I buy is the size of a garlic powder you'd find in a restaurant kitchen.

One day, I noticed that his garlic powder was about halfway empty, so I decided to play a little silent prank.

Once about every week or so for the past two years, years when my roommate wasn't home, I would put just enough garlic powder from my bottle into his bottle right up to about the halfway point so that he would never run out of garlic powder.

I also consciously store my garlic powder at the back of my section in our pantry so that he never happens to notice how much garlic powder I have on hand.

Yesterday, after all this time, he passingly said out loud, I don't understand how this garlic powder is lasting so long.

I think I have infinite garlic powder.

Needless to say, it took a lot to contain my composure.

But I didn't even acknowledge

what he said, even in the slightest.

Now, the problem is that we both have to move out by mid-October because our landlord is selling the apartment and we're both going our separate ways.

I really want to keep this secret to myself because, one, I'd hate to spoil the magic, and two, I think I'd come off as pretty weird because who does something like that, really?

But after vigorously thinking it through and weighing my options, I decided that I have to tell him the truth and break the news to him about his magical bottle of garlic powder.

I'd hate for him to run out at his next apartment and start questioning reality itself.

So I think it'd be best if I just make the heartbreak quick, easy, and direct.

So yeah, wish me luck.

Oh my gosh.

That is so, that's a perfect prank.

Perfect, perfect prank.

It's like a punch-up prank.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's a, because it's a generous prank.

Yes.

He's like, oh my God.

I'm never

going to be aware of that.

I love that.

I do love pranks that are like a little bit at a time.

Yeah.

Like I've heard of the long car.

I've heard of people doing things where like they just slowly move someone's desk just a little bit every day.

Yes.

Until it's across the room.

Makes me laugh.

Like those are funny because for one, they're harmless.

Yes.

But two, it's just like, especially this, it's like, yeah, you're kind of doing, you're giving him a gift, but it's something nobody would expect.

This is so funny.

Because also garlic powder, if I'm correct, garlic powder is like really cheap, too.

It's like, it's just something you don't think about that much.

Totally.

And you're not expecting someone to put just a little bit.

It's sweet.

That's a lot of the moment he has to himself where he's like, I think I have unlimited garlic powder.

It's wholesome.

It's like an Even Stevens episode.

I love that it was like in passing, just like, yeah, I think I have infinite garlic powder.

I love that.

Like, he believes in magic, but he's kind of like nonchalant about it.

It's like, yeah, I guess magic exists because this just doesn't run out.

I guess my luck is within my garlic powder.

And meanwhile, this guy's like cracking up back there.

He thinks it's so funny.

And now they have to part ways.

I know.

And his garlic powder is going to run out.

I know, and I love that he's taking it so seriously.

He's like, I have to go break his heart.

And the guy's going to be like, oh, it's cool, man.

I can just go buy some garlic powder.

So funny.

I think I have infinite garlic powder, and I know you want to fuck my boyfriend.

Okay.

Update?

All right.

Comments.

Someone said, can you be my roommate next?

Someone said, I would laugh my ass off if I was the friend.

I think it's a brilliant prank.

Someone said, but nobody got hurt or humiliated or assaulted, slash sarcastic.

Slash S.

As Spencer would say.

Kidname S.

Kidname slash S.

Spencer says slash S all the time.

He does?

Slash Gen.

Have you never seen this?

I have lost that.

You've lost that.

You don't know.

Slash, you're Gen Z, dude.

I am not.

Wait, am I?

Yeah.

Yeah, you are.

You're supposed to know.

You need to know slash S, dude.

No, I don't.

Or is that like millennial?

I feel like it's pretty.

Spencer's going around saying that it's a little bit of a drink.

It's what people do on the internet to like establish if their comment is sarcastic or serious or not.

Slash S.

Because

sarcasm's hard to read sometimes on the internet.

Totally.

Someone said, please don't tell him.

This needs to be something he occasionally mentions to people throughout his life.

I mean, you'll never really see it play out, but just knowing that anytime he cooks for or with somebody, he'll probably mention the time he had a magical bottle of garlic powder would make it all worth it to me.

It's rare that as adults, we experience something that makes us feel like magic is real.

You have the opportunity to make a grown man believe in magic, and to me, that is priceless.

Don't ruin this for him, or for me, for that matter.

OP said, oh man, this is my favorite comment.

And now you put me in a jam.

Now I don't know what to do.

This is where you can make the prank really mean.

Is

he needs to like meet up with him eventually?

He's like, Yeah, that garlic powder eventually ran out.

It's like, oh, then you must have done something really bad.

Like, make him think that he made magic die out.

Or I would write a really small little note, be like, It's been me the whole time.

Love Zach.

Roll it up, put it in the garlic powder.

So then when

you see yeah,

or you write Santa,

Italian Santa.

Or

hear me out,

Santa.

Santa Claus.

Or hear me out.

You put creatine in the garlic powder.

There you go.

Make him buff.

Yes.

Make him huge and hope he's allergic.

That's insane.

Cut that part.

That's insane.

Cut that part.

Cut that part.

Okay, update.

He told him they cried and kissed.

Thanks for all the positive feedback and for the great advice.

I've been reading the comments and debating on what to do all day.

I finally decided that I'm going to keep a close eye on things when he's packing and try to steal his garlic powder so that it goes missing.

What?

I have to do what I can to keep the legend of the magical garlic powder bottle alive, and this is the only surefire way to do that.

I hope everything goes according to plan.

I'm fine with it.

Wait, so he's stealing it now?

He's stealing half a bottle of garlic powder so that the guy keeps believing in the middle of the morning.

But he's given him back so much garlic powder that I feel like they can call it even.

He's not stealing.

He's like, man, my garlic powder disappeared.

It's like, it had to find someone else who was in need of it.

Damn.

And at the beginning,

you no longer need it.

We heard that he, like, loves garlic powder on everything, right?

Yeah, he puts garlic.

He literally, truly putting it on everything.

He's one of those chefs.

On his eggs.

Okay, what I want OP to do, because he is stealing his garlic powder, is he steals, he's like, oh, it's gone.

He's like, then he should just buy him another bottle and then be like, hey, I hope this one's magical for you, too.

Yeah, and it's not going to be.

It's not going to be.

But, you know.

He's just like, here you go.

I just love the idea of finding a buck fifty bottle of garlic powder at Ralph's and be like, I think it's magic.

I think

it's magic.

He has otherworldly powers.

Well, it sounds like that guy needs the restaurant size garlic powder.

Like, they need to just switch.

I know, man.

Yeah.

Gosh, this is so funny.

I love it.

We should do something like that.

We should, that's a great prank.

Something small.

Wait, yeah.

Who could we get with that?

Who uses garlic powder?

Or just, like, something like...

I don't know.

We got to figure out some way.

Figure it out.

Yeah.

We'll think of something.

Okay.

I mean, hey, your next prank needs to to be just a very generous, kind prank.

It'd be great if it was generous.

It would be so cool.

Come on out, Angela's mom.

All right.

That is it.

Yay.

That's all our stories.

Yay.

Thank you both for being here.

Thanks for having us.

Should we all move in together?

No.

All right.

Yay!

Who wants smoothies?

Yay!

Just kidding.

Just kidding.

That's the new Who Wants Garlic powder.

Yes, yeah.

Garlic powder smoothies.

Ew.

But too bad they're in my lockbox.

Oh, shit.

And what's your birthday?

That's crazy.

What's your favorite number?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Anyways, thank you both for being here.

Thank you.

Thank you for watching.

Let us know what are the themes and subreddits you'd like to see on the show.

Hope you don't have any nightmare roommates.

And we'll see you next Saturday.

Goodbye.

Bye.

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