Three Hot Takes | Reading Reddit Stories

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Sucks!

The new musical has made Tony award-winning history on Broadway.

We demand to be home!

Winner, best score!

We demand to be seen!

Winner, best book!

We demand to be quality!

It's a theatrical masterpiece that's thrilling, inspiring, dazzlingly entertaining, and unquestionably the most emotionally stirring musical this season.

Suffs, playing the Orpheum Theater, October 22nd through November 9th.

Tickets at BroadwaySF.com.

Hello and welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories.

I'm Shane, and today's theme is messy.

And I'm joined by two very organized individuals.

Courtney and from Two Hot Takes, Morgan Abisher.

Back again.

Back again.

Are you organized?

I'm not organized.

I am the definition of messy.

I mean, messy.

You run a big podcast pretty much all on your own.

I feel like you have to be somewhat organized.

It's a one-girl circus, and circus is the main thing.

It is chaotic.

It is not, it's not tidy.

Not tidy.

So I might fit right in with the stories today.

Okay.

I love it.

And it's messy in the literal sense and figurative sense.

Yeah.

Some messy people.

There's messy people out there.

Yeah.

I feel like I'm organized on the outside, but not organized on the inside.

All right.

Let's just hop in.

Let's do it.

Okay, here we go.

First story comes from relationship advice.

My coworker, an 18-year-old man, put me, 22-year-old woman, on a hear-me-out cake and posted it online.

Do I take action in some way?

Ooh.

Ooh.

What picture do they use?

Yeah.

I feel like before we hop into this,

Angela did have a pitch for a sketch, like for TikTok.

This was months ago, of us going in the line and doing the hear me out cake, but then just suddenly someone puts just someone else in the line.

So I was like, that's pretty funny.

So then this,

but that's a sketch.

It's hitting home.

If this actually happened in real life, it's really bad.

Yeah, no, it would make you feel really uncomfortable.

I think putting a co-worker on a hear-me-out cake is grounds to be fired.

Yeah, but you're supposed to put Shrek on there.

Yeah.

And Spirit, the horse.

Like, this is not supposed to be real.

It's a double whammy of bad because not only is that sexual harassment, but then you're also insulting them on top of that.

Oh, that's so true.

It's not a compliment.

Yeah, it's supposed to be like an unpopular opinion.

Exactly.

Oh, yeah.

This is bad on multiple levels.

Bad all around.

Several layers of cake.

All right.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm going to joke now before this gets actually messy.

Okay.

Here we go.

I work work at a diner as a waitress with this kid.

Let's call him John.

John has always seemed pretty chill and busses my tables.

Sometimes we chat if we are closing together, usually about school as he started college not too long ago and I am almost graduated with my BA.

Ultimately, we are friendly but not friends.

Last week, he said that he was part of a group chat with a handful of other co-workers on Instagram and asked if I wanted to join.

I said sure because I haven't connected with people at the diner that well and figured it was worth a shot.

We swapped Instas.

The group chat is very normal, friendly banter between co-workers.

Yesterday, I saw that John posted a reel of him and a couple of his buddies doing their take on a Hear Me Out cake, which is usually a very light-hearted and funny way of saying you would get with what are typically fictional and mostly animated characters.

The entire cake adhered to that concept, except towards the end when my face, a picture that he must have screenshotted from one of my posts, is stuck on the cake.

I was the only real person on that cake, and John actually made a comment about how attractive I was and that he wished that he could could hit that, but doubts he has a chance.

Is this grounds for taking this issue to higher ups?

I don't know if I'm comfortable working with him at the moment.

Do I just take care of this myself and tell him that it makes me uncomfortable and I want him to take it down?

It is a public video.

I'm just uncertain how to move forward.

Oof.

Yeah, that's bad.

To be

the only real person on the cake out of animated things and characters.

Oh, and I'd hit that.

Ooh, no, no.

I'm not doubling down even further to say that.

Like, I mean, the fact that it's a public video too, like, this feels like

kind of like sexual harassment, I'd say.

It does.

And I'm,

I just, I don't know, like, how to proceed, except like like you kind of should go to HR first.

Yeah.

Let them see if they'll make it right and handle it.

Because like you shouldn't have to have this conversation with him.

That's so awkward.

No.

And I feel like we're, we're kind of at this tough place right now where like laws and things haven't caught up with technology and like social media and like AI and creating these like images and things like that.

So it's a really tough spot for OP to be in.

It really is.

It's really unfair to her.

I do think she should take it to HR.

Yeah.

I'm,

what do I think is going to happen with HR?

What do we think this restaurant has in terms of top of the line HR?

I'm skeptical.

I feel like with these types of situations, I'm waiting for that update of like, and they said there's nothing they can do.

But she should do it anyways and try.

Yeah.

And a lot of times that does happen because they pull the, well, it's outside of company time.

He didn't make the cake here.

Yeah, but social media, dude, it's like 24-7.

Like, yeah.

You see it constantly.

So at that point, you'd have to go to him and just, hey, inappropriate.

Can you take it down?

Also.

I appreciate it.

What was he thinking?

He's trying to shoot a shot.

You think he wanted to, he like intensely was like, you should see my video.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's a horrible way to shoot your shot.

Ask her out kindly, you goofball.

Like, that's not going to do it.

Yeah.

Ugh.

Comments on this.

Go up to him at work and say, hey, can you delete that video you made about me?

The one where you printed a picture of my face and put it on a cake?

It's really fucking weird.

14,000 upvotes.

Yeah, it is weird.

It is very weird.

I think she has every right to say that.

Do I think it's fair she should have to say it to his face?

What is one thing?

Someone said, this would make me uncomfortable too.

I feel like he posted this knowing you'd see it and hoping you'd respond positively to it.

Either way, it's awkward, and I'm sorry you're in this position.

I'm cringing for you.

I think the fastest way to get it taken down would be to talk to him about not being comfortable with your photo on a public video.

If he apologizes and takes it down, I'd say you may not need to escalate.

If you have a decent relationship with your manager, it may not hurt to ask to shift your schedule around to avoid him, too.

Good luck, OP.

OP responded saying, I was wondering if it was a tactic of some kind, like making a move without making a move.

Yep.

I don't know.

He is too young for me anyway.

I think I will see if I can get my manager to help with my schedule.

But because of my classes, I don't think I could change much unless I want to work fewer hours.

Thanks for the support, though.

I think I will try to word a message to John now asking him to take it down.

Can I just say one thing?

For him to like follow, check me out on Instagram.

You'll stumble across this video where I happen to say you're hot or whatever.

This man, cut your little face out with scissors, put it on a stick, dot a cake.

That's a lot of work to make sure someone sees that you think they're hot.

Like, that's a lot of weird, premeditated stuff.

Like, and I also feel so bad, like, the whole taking it as a compliment thing.

Like, I would honestly say, like, like, seriously, ew.

You don't take sexual harassment as a compliment or anything that just you don't feel comfortable with, you don't feel comfortable.

That's valid.

What I would do is just be like, I would DM him, be like, hey, like, I don't know if you meant this as a compliment, but it actually, like, makes me uncomfortable.

And I'm actually, like, a little upset that this is public, that you put my face on a cake.

Like, would you delete it or cut it out?

Like, saying something like that would maybe.

It sucks that.

In so many guys' heads, they think this would work.

Like, this guy truly thought she was going to come up to him and be like, hey, I saw that your hear-me-outs were Nutella, Mojo, JoJo, and me.

Thanks.

That's so cool that you'd think that.

Someone else said, yeah, fuck this.

Don't take this lightly.

Coming from a 31-year-old man who has managed a lot of people, this is not okay by any means.

Get a copy of the video, bring it directly to management.

This is 100% harassment, and you should never feel uncomfortable in the workplace by another employee.

He needs to be reprimanded, and discipline needs to take place, or he won't learn from his fucked up actions.

He's young, but he's an adult.

He needs to learn this now.

Lastly, someone said, no, the worst part about this is that typically these cakes are for ugly slash weird characters or animals who you'd have to defend.

So now I'd be paranoid that everyone thinks I'm annoying and ugly and weird.

I'd be so hurt and freaked out.

OP responded, thanks for that, LMAO.

I wonder if it's still part of that logic that I could see an 18-year-old guy thinking like, well, it's sort of an insult too, so she'll be into that.

I don't know.

There's there's not much logic going on here that's what it is have you guys heard of negging yeah yeah that is what this is giving i thought we moved past that i thought that i thought that ended in like 2015 no it's all coming back no i have like a bunch of girlfriends that are still single and the dates they will go on and the things people will say to them it's like

they want they're like trying to almost be like find that girl that's like i'm not like other girls and it's like but That's not where we're at anymore.

Like, just go in, be cool, be kind, and you're going to get your person.

But this,

not it.

No, I do think it is a common misconception that people think the hear-me-out

cake is just like your crushes that you're shy to share.

I think people will go for what it originally was, which is defending a crush.

And I think it's gotten so big that people think it's just your secret shy.

She's saying, though, that it was almost she was the only real person, which means his other hear-me-outs he had on the cake, unless all of them are just putting one, but usually people put a couple.

A couple.

Yeah.

So that would mean his other ones were also fictional cartoon characters.

Or objects.

Or something else.

He was definitely trying to shoot a shot.

Absolutely not.

Inappropriate.

Gross way to do it.

Yeah, that was a TikTok trend.

You're posting it on Reels?

What the hell?

Yeah, dude.

So clearly, he wanted her to.

That's what the manager says.

Manager's like, this wasn't posted on TikTok?

Gross.

All right.

Next story.

No update.

No update.

Pretty messy, though.

Messy move.

Yeah.

It's just immature.

Anyway.

Immature.

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Suffs!

The new musical has made Tony award-winning history on Broadway.

We demand to be home!

Winner, best store.

We demand to be seen.

Winner, best book.

We demand to be quality.

It's a theatrical masterpiece that's thrilling, inspiring, dazzlingly entertaining, and unquestionably the most emotionally stirring musical this season.

Suffs.

Playing the Orpheum Theater, October 22nd through November 9th, tickets at BroadwaySF.com.

Suffs, the new musical has made Tony award-winning history on Broadway.

We demand to be home.

Winner, best score.

We demand to be seen.

Winner, best book.

We demand to be quality.

It's a theatrical masterpiece that's thrilling, inspiring, dazzlingly entertaining, and unquestionably the most emotionally stirring musical this season.

Suffs, playing the Orpheum Theater, October 22nd through November 9th.

Tickets at BroadwaySF.com.

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I love these.

I, a 44-year-old man, am getting married to Amber, 35-year-old woman, fake name, next weekend.

On Friday, I got a call from my youngest sister, Luna, 34-year-old woman, fake name, asking if I could pick her up from the hospital as her husband was away with work.

Her job can be really physical, and she's extremely outdoorsy and active, so her calling to be picked up from the hospital isn't unusual.

When I arrived to pick up Luna, she was a bit of a mess covered in blood, and when she smiled, she was missing a tooth at the front.

Turns out she'd come off her bike and smashed her face on the pavement.

She's knocked out a tooth, got a fracture to her wrist, grazes and cuts all over, including her face, and had broken her nose with some awful-looking bruising around her eyes, which has now come up.

Luna's fine, just annoyed she can't ride her bike and needs to rest.

She did ask me not to tell Amber, which I thought was weird.

When I told Amber that Luna was hurt, she asked if any of Luna's injuries would affect the wedding.

I said Luna had a fracture to her wrist, so might have to carry her flowers differently and might find having makeup applied uncomfortable as she had broken her nose.

Amber told me that I needed to tell Luna she couldn't be a bridesmaid anymore.

I disagreed as I don't want Luna to be the only sibling excluded, especially over a broken nose.

Amber said that she didn't want want wedding pictures like luna's she wanted pictures she could be proud of in luna's wedding pictures she's got a busted lip because she got punched at work a couple days before her wedding and her husband had a cut on his forehead from head-butting a table during his bachelor party the weekend before the wedding what are these people doing what's going on i was like i was like she got a busted lip from work she's a oh she's a she's a uh superhero yeah

in those pictures you don't see the injuries straight away you see how happy they are amber then told me that she told luna that if she had any injuries to her face in the run-up to the wedding, then Amber was going to make Luna just a guest.

I told her that I wasn't going to tell Luna that she couldn't be in the wedding party over a broken nose.

Amber's gone to stay at her sister's as she's mad at me choosing Luna over her and our wedding.

Her sister has messaged me saying that Amber's considering canceling the wedding because I'm not on board with her vision for our wedding and said that I'm being an asshole for not prioritizing Amber and her feelings.

She also said that Luna knew what the consequences of getting hurt so close to the wedding would be.

Am I the asshole for not wanting to remove my sister from the wedding party over a broken nose?

Edit for clarity.

This has gotten so many more responses than I ever thought it would.

I've been reading the comments and it's been mentioned a few times about Luna's injuries and been speculated about how she gets them.

My brother-in-law is not hurting her, nor is she doing it for attention.

She works in private security.

She got punched before her wedding day, breaking up a fight.

I was there when my brother-in-law cut his forehead.

I saw him headbutt the table and went with him to the hospital.

When she had her cycling accident, she was wearing her gear, had her helmet on, but she hit a steep curb after swerving because someone opened their car door into the road without looking.

Before this, her last hospital trip and accident was just before Christmas when she broke her foot after dropping a kettlebell on it.

Last year, that accident should have made me realize about Amber as she was upset that all the pictures that had Luna in them from our family Christmas, Luna had a boot on her foot.

According to Amber, it was distracting in her pictures, and there were a few comments on it on Amber's Instagram when she posted the pictures.

Okay,

come on.

Can I say that?

Luna, Luna's hilarious.

She definitely has that thing in her brain where she doesn't feel pain because

otherwise, what?

Zero pain.

Hey, everyone, this is my sister, Wiley Coyote.

She gets a little messed up.

It's Tom and Jerry.

It's Tom and Jerry.

Don't, don't, Jerry.

Dad, squish.

It's kind of, it's unfortunately pretty funny.

It's an accident.

It wasn't.

Like, what's she supposed to do?

Her job is private security.

Like, she's going to get messed up.

And it wasn't even from that.

It was a freak freak accident.

Yeah, someone opening their door.

I think my jaw was open and like dropped the entire time you were reading.

I have a lot of thoughts because I'm like, one, Amber, Bridezilla, like Bridezilla.

If she's gonna call off the wedding because you don't wanna exclude your sister, let her.

Let her, not your person.

Like,

should be more of a conversation there, and her, like, going off and kind of stonewalling OP.

It's like, this is my sister.

Yeah.

Makeup these days can work wonders.

And

how often are you going to look back at the pictures of the full wedding party?

It's not really going to be about that, but like, oh God, like, I'm just like, I'm a little torn.

I think it's a little frustrating that this bride is like, you're, you don't respect my vision.

It's like, your vision is.

treating these people like objects that are props in the scene that is your wedding.

And like, it's about being happy.

And like, I'm so sorry that a boot killed the vibe in a Christmas picture.

I'm so sorry your family relative was injured and hurt and still wanted to be there because they care about you and their family.

Like they all want to be there because they're family and they love each other regardless of what's happening.

You can't, sometimes you can't prevent an injury.

As careful as you can be.

This person goes full send into life clearly in the best way the person who has the injury and I love that.

I love that for them.

Even if they were the most careful, something can happen.

And because of that, they can't experience a very special day, you know?

It's interesting because it's the opposite of so many wedding stories we read about where they're upset about someone upstaging them and like, oh, you showed up in a white dress, or you showed up like, we had a story where it was like, hey, this person's too good looking.

They can't come to the wedding.

Oh, I do.

Or else they'll look too good.

This is the opposite where it's like, hey, you look too messed up.

So you're going to distract because you've got no teeth and your lip is messed up.

Like, such an interesting logic.

big old that's my biggest fear is walking up steps tripping and cracking my teeth on a step I think about it every time I walk up the stairs the way you look so different with half a tooth did you lose a tooth my sister did and we look very alike so I saw that and I was like you saw a glimpse

it changes you if you ever break a tooth you take a selfie of that so you remember it for the rest of you

it's an interesting thing of us working on a comedy YouTube channel is that if I break a tooth you'll use it I know that I'm like hey you're gonna keep it this is going to help me.

Like, this is going to amplify what I do.

You know, like if I work, if we film something here and someone has a chipped tooth, I'm like, hey, man, you're going to get all the attention because you look funnier than us.

Maybe you should step out.

You immediately say that.

You're going to make us look bad.

I need to break my tooth.

Oh my God.

I think there's some red flags here.

The Amber, the wife, or the Amber, the fiancé, is talking a lot about how this wedding is like hers.

She doesn't really seem to be thinking about how the wedding is like a joining of two people and viewing her husband as a team member.

Also, if you're literally like leaving your partner's place and like staying somewhere else in the days leading up to a wedding, it's like maybe you should do that.

This is not the grounds for a solid wedding.

It seems like she cares more about the optics, more about the wedding versus the marriage.

Like she just wants to get married to have the wedding.

Right.

And this beautiful vision.

And it's like, that's not what it's really about.

Right.

It's such a privilege to be able to have people you love stand there next to you and support you.

And like the fact that his family's all on good terms, like this is the ideal day.

And you're going to kick her out because she's maybe a little rough around the edges right now.

People are not your aesthetic to like.

That drives me nuts.

I literally just had a story where someone asked her bridesmaids only because she thought they were all ugly.

None of her best friends were included.

See, and this bride's doing the opposite.

Like, bride wants everyone to look like supermodels, apparently.

Insane.

Insane.

People need to stop losing their minds over weddings.

Right.

As someone that's planning a wedding, it's not that serious.

And we really objectify the idea of like everyone's position sometimes, like that, where it's like, I'm going to select people that are not as pretty as me intentionally, regardless of how much I care about them.

Like, whoa.

I'm just shocking.

Yeah, no, it's baffling.

It's also shocking just with the wedding of how much people are thinking about other people.

I'm like, what are you, like, you're not focused on the person you're marrying?

I also think there's the added layer, this would be just as bad if it was Amber's sister, but it's Amber's sister-in-law, and she's making this decision for her husband of your sister's not invited now.

And it's like, did you consider how important that is to him to have his sister there?

But she's like, no, you don't need to make that decision.

She's going to not stay with with him because she's mad at him.

There's like a compromise here if you did want to compromise with someone like this.

But I'd be like, okay, cool.

She's not going to be your bridesmaid.

She'll be on my side.

Fuck, yeah.

She'll be on my side.

Like, that's how you could work around that.

But I think the flags are there.

The sirens are glaring.

You might have to lose some deposits and run from this one.

All right.

Some comments here.

I'm scared.

I'm scared.

So this was posted literally yesterday as of reading this.

So there's no verdict yet, but most were leaning towards not the asshole, but some saying everybody sucks here.

Interesting.

Which is interesting.

I'm curious the take.

Comments.

Notice she asked if her injuries would affect the wedding before asking about her future sister-in-law's well-being.

Oh, red flag.

Yeah.

Concerned about the optic.

3.4,000 upvotes.

Someone said this.

She needs to realize that her wedding day is just the very, very beginning of a relationship, not just with you, but with your family.

Treating your family ill from the start is not wise on her part.

She needs to show more compassion and humility.

Someone said a decent photographer could turn Luna into a giraffe.

Bruises are nothing.

Amber is way too image-obsessed, and if this isn't unusual behavior for her, I'd certainly be rethinking if OP wants to be in their life from now on.

Maybe telling Amber not to come back or to the venue until she corrects her attitude might be the wake-up call she needs.

Someone said,

Someone said, not the asshole.

Excluding someone over a broken nose is beyond ridiculous.

I get it.

She wants it to be a perfect image, but news flash, life isn't always perfect.

Weddings aren't meant for the aesthetic.

They're supposed to be showcasing your love for your partner with your family and friends.

Okay, so lastly, someone said everyone sucks here.

Your sister is prone to have little accidents.

She's carefree.

And while she doesn't care how she looked at her wedding, your fiancé obviously cares.

Your fiancé even called it and informed your sister about the consequences if she's going to be injured.

Your sister didn't care, wasn't careful enough, and knew the consequences.

She's the asshole for this.

Your fiancé is the asshole for the way she phrased it, as if the pictures are more important than a good time.

She's also an asshole for demanding that you tell your sister.

Your fiancé should inform her she's fired as a bridesmaid, not you.

I know it's a hard situation for you, but you should inform your sister that she was warned and now the consequences are not being a bridesmaid.

This situation is not, I had an accident and I'm so sorry.

It's, well, you told me I shouldn't do it, but I still wanted to and now I'm injured, but I don't care.

You should just accept it.

I don't know how I feel about that, but I love it.

Because

this, for one, this accident wasn't her fault.

It's not like she's going out jumping into pavement face first.

She's in private security.

She's like helping people.

How did someone just open their car door?

Like, how do you plan for someone opening their car door as you're peacefully riding your bike?

She had the helmet.

She had the gear.

Yeah, I'm thinking about, okay, so any scenario where she was injured would have been bad.

So if someone at her job assaulted her, would that count in the same category?

It sounds like it.

It sounds like she's just saying, you're not allowed to be injured for this.

I don't understand.

Accidents happen.

Yeah.

And Photoshop also happens.

Yeah.

Photoshop.

That is such a great point.

Like, get over yourself.

I guess I understand.

The comment isn't necessarily...

The comment still seems to say that the fiancé is the bigger asshole here, but I don't know.

I just don't think that logic works for me.

No, because it's as if she was trying to set a boundary, like that people need to walk on eggshells and be careful not to get injured.

For my, like, how do you, how do you, I don't think there is a right way around this person.

Like, this person expects everyone to kind of cater to how they want their life to be, regardless of how realistic it is.

Like, hey, don't get injured.

It's like, okay, I'll try.

Like, why are you going to hurt me?

Like, what am I, how, how can one prevent life?

Not everyone can be Adam Standler in a bubble.

Like, that just doesn't, it's not, it's not reasonable.

And like, we talk about like boundaries and like you can only create a boundary involving yourself.

Right.

You can't dictate what other people are doing.

So it's like, it's kind of an unfair ask.

And I think that comment you read, Shane, where they were like, they didn't even ask if she was okay, just if she looked messed up, like, that speaks volumes too.

Was that a bubble boy reference?

Yeah.

Might have been.

I regret to inform you that was Jake Gyllenhaal.

What the heck?

That's okay.

You got it.

Gyllenhaul is so cute.

And I got there afterwards.

I was like, honestly, couldn't be.

It's a good reference, though.

I was like, I bet there's some movie where Annab Zandler's in a bubble, you know?

Probably.

Adam, I'm putting you in a bubble.

Next one.

Girls, grown-ups, grown-ups four.

Where are we at?

Where are we at with that?

All right.

Our next story.

No update.

No update.

There's two reasons.

It was there.

They're literally hot off the press.

I know.

I know.

I'm not okay.

I'm not okay.

It's torture being on the other side of this.

Sorry.

All right, our next story comes from relationship advice.

It's a 26-year-old woman.

My husband, 29-year-old man, thinks it's a crime that his best friend, 29-year-old man, bought me boots for my birthday.

Need advice.

My husband's best friend has sort of been adopted into our household after breaking up with his partner four months ago.

We've always been extremely respectful of emotional and physical boundaries.

The only thing that might have been a bit cozy was that I already cook for everyone.

It just felt natural to extend that to him.

Friday was my birthday.

His mate got me new boots.

I didn't realize it at the time, but it would have cracked the $600 mark.

Whoa.

Which is a lot.

But considering the context, months of going out of my way to make sure this man who is important to my husband didn't drown, I already had an eight-year-old pair of the same exact boots.

He would comment on them being worn out.

God forbid, he wanted a meaningful way to say thank you.

I didn't even realize I wasn't supposed to be happy and grateful until the tension.

When I went to bed and left both of them down there, it was probably the most insane blow-up I've ever overheard on my birthday.

Now I'm stuck between trying to defend this guy from my husband and not looking like I'm siding with his mate while he has such a warped idea of the situation.

I've known them both for six years and this feels like somehow the breaking point.

It's so stupid, I could cry.

Whoa.

Okay.

There's a lot to unpack here.

There is a lot to unpack here.

I do think think this type of scenario could be the basis for some

drama.

Boots is a weird one.

$600.

How about the boots?

$600 is a lot.

Like, there's a lot of gifts that if a friend got, like, a partner, you'd be like, whoa, why'd you get that for them?

Yeah.

I guess I almost feel like I need to see these boots.

Well, it's also, that's got to be a struggle of if his buddy...

got his wife like a far more expensive gift than he got his own wife.

You can see how he's like, he's feeling insecure.

Yeah, or thoughtful.

Like, granted, a lot of money, but she's had these boots for eight years, clearly attached to them, clearly loves them, maybe hard to find.

So, the buddy going out, spending this much money, buying these boots, it's kind of like a, I see you, OP.

I see you.

It's if, depending on the boots and the love behind the boots, it could be a really intimate gift.

And the husband's like,

you see that?

And I didn't get her something something that nice.

Yeah.

Ooh, do you have a crush on my wife?

You got a crush on her?

There's something like, because you don't have a blow-up over boots like that.

Boots are like,

yeah, I guess it's an interesting spot to be in, because it's not like a dress, but it's not like a

gift card to chilies, you know?

It's kind of in a, it's kind of closer to the dress, you know what I'm saying?

The price point is interesting, but it's like, I kind of want to see the, that's what I mean where I'm like, what do these boots look like?

Okay, so we got some information.

The husband got a heated blanket and her favorite perfume, which could have been expensive.

Could have been expensive.

I mean, oh my god,

some of those are influenced.

It's like $4.50.

Yeah.

So this is why you buy a game.

And perfumes, perfume's a very intimate gift, I feel like.

Yeah.

Yeah, they are.

If someone gets that for someone, it's like, okay.

Blankets are even more optimistic.

Yeah.

What happens under blankets?

I'm curious, though.

See, here's where I need more context.

I'm like, was this like a perfume from like, I don't know, box store?

It was 30 bucks.

It's a spritzer.

And the heated blanket was like, you know, clearance rack, you know, winter's over.

Like, what are we working with?

Because then it's like, the boots are so thoughtful.

Yes.

Yeah.

And this is his friend.

Yeah.

This isn't like her like childhood friend, longtime friend.

It's his friend, but he's been kind of taken under their wing for the past four months.

After a bad breakup.

Yeah.

He's just been living with them.

He's financially okay, though.

Like, it's not like he was

a boot.

Right.

That's what I'm saying.

Like.

It's a little confusing.

There's not a ton of information in this story.

Okay.

But these comments might shed some more light.

So some comments, someone said, too little information about the arrangements you two have with this guy about his living situation.

Is he a guest?

Or does he pay some bills and his necessities?

Does he have a job in the first place?

OP said, he works with my husband.

He stays at his parents on the weekends and us midweek.

He pays the utility bills.

Someone else said, it's a bit pricey for the relationship and seems to outshine your husband, which is concerning.

It's a discussion your husband needs to have with his friend.

Nothing for you to do and nothing you did wrong.

Someone said $50, okay, nice gift.

Thanks.

That's awesome.

$100 gift, that's some red flag stuff, but maybe I can understand.

$600, massive red flag.

Why is my best friend spending that much on my wife and she's okay with it?

Lastly, someone said, as an old married guy, my advice is to get this guy the fuck out of your house and your marriage.

Wow.

See, I get that.

It would definitely give the husband maybe some reason to feel insecure.

And like, is something actually going on?

Because it is an intimate gift.

It's expensive.

Like, $600.

Am I missing something?

Wild.

No, but.

It definitely draws some thoughts.

So there are some other posts where I guess they clarify it wasn't a financial thing.

Like, they took him under their wing, kind of more just like, oh.

Going through a bad breakup.

We don't want him by himself.

Right.

Yeah.

He's a good friend.

Which is fair, but also it kind of brings it back to the tone of like, I can see why the, is it husband?

Husband would be upset.

Like, you came here because you're from a breakup.

You're heartbroken.

You're putting this toward the woman in your life right now who's there.

It's interesting to hear that he's like part-time at two different places.

Maybe to give them some privacy on the weekends, like as they're parents on the weekends.

It's just, it's only been four months that they've like, that this arrangement.

But four months and then a $600 gift.

Which, you think about it, like how much money he's saving on rent, basically getting a private chef with her cooking meals for him.

Right.

But it is still kind of like, hey, like, you're kind of shitting in my Cheerios guy.

Like,

this is my wife.

At the very least, this is my wife.

At the very least, maybe he could have run it by and been like, hey, I really want to thank you guys.

I feel like this would be a cool gift that I could do to just, but just letting him know.

But this was a surprise to the husband as well.

I'm so serious about the fight.

If I'm getting that level of gift for someone who's not

you, I would be like, I would need to run by and make sure nobody else is getting them that gift.

It's like, I'm spending $600 on a pair of boots that this person has a worn-out pair of.

Is the husband thinking about getting these boots?

You would want to think about that, but he didn't.

I don't know.

It's definitely, there's a lot going on here.

Yeah, and so this guy, he's the husband's friend, right?

That's the original.

So like, though, OP, she's been there and known them both around the same amount of time.

She said she's known them both for her.

She's known them both for six years, but it sounds like it's his.

She's his partner.

So it's like he, he invited his buddy into his home.

And she's, she's, it's also her home, but it's like the connection is them two.

Why is he doing that?

And if it's a thank you to both of them,

it should have been a,

it's boots for Mary.

Yeah.

So I don't know.

This is, this is textbook messy.

I like that.

What if he does?

What if he is out there being like, I think China deserves better than the husband?

Is it some love actually happening?

We don't know.

What?

Wait.

No update.

What?

It was posted yesterday.

Why is he doing this on?

Can't believe you did this.

Go look at the account right now.

Can I go back?

I've never done that to him before.

Ever.

I always wanted to do it.

I hope our audio-only listeners.

That sounded awful.

It'll be fun.

You just took him out.

For people who are just listening to this and not without video,

Courtney.

I threw a poof at my husband.

She threw a poof at me and it made me poof.

Am I the asshole for throwing a poof at my husband?

No, that was really funny.

Yeah.

No, not the asshole.

It was very funny.

I'm trying to put myself in this situation, right?

Courtney, I'm trying to picture this.

The problem is, the problem is like, there's so many friends.

I don't think this is out of the realm of possibility of like like a friend giving you these gifts.

It's just different contexts because I'm just like, I don't know.

I'm picturing everybody else at Smosh and I'm like, I don't think I would think much of it.

But we have such a different situation.

Yeah, it's tough because it's like, I'm trying to picture, and also like all of your friends are girls.

So it's like,

yeah, it's like, okay, like...

Give me the boots.

Green flags for me.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Goodness and boots.

Don't get in between

getting her boots.

But I don't know.

But I also could see it being like if it was a surprise gift and someone got you a $600

thing and they hadn't, and I didn't know about it.

And I'd be like, oh, shit,

maybe my gift sucks now.

Like, I could see that being a thing.

Yeah.

It's tricky.

I think this situation specifically, though, is so tricky.

It doesn't need to be, though.

And this is where people on Reddit just need to learn how to.

Communicate a little bit.

Ask him, hey, why did that, you know, make you feel a certain way?

Like, did it make you feel insecure?

Like, can you open up and like tell me, like, is there something I don't know going on?

Like, maybe it is a little love, actually.

Maybe the friend, six years ago, when they met, they sat at a bar and friend said, Dibs, husband's the one that actually got her.

Like, we don't know the full context here, and maybe she's blissfully unaware, but like, maybe there is some other tea there where it is messy and he does have a crush.

And so, the husband was like too far, back off, blew up.

Yeah, I'm trying to picture being in an OP's situation of like receiving a gift that's so expensive and it's like apparel, especially like from like

someone like in that dynamic.

It feels, I would feel like, I think I would be a little bit taken aback.

Yeah.

Oh, and then like if they were expensive, I'd be like, how did you get these?

Because I'd want to know, like, oh, did you find them at Nordstrom Rack versus paying the full price at wherever?

Yeah.

Right.

Because that matters to me to like, because I care about being grateful to equate, you know.

If you had a guy friend who bought you something,

like, how do you think it would go?

I feel like my fiancé Justin would be like, hey, Morgan loves her clothes.

I know.

She doesn't have to buy them.

A win is a win.

I feel like that's kind of how we're just like, we're chill like that.

I think it's like the trust that you have between each other, like to not jump together in those things.

I'm also someone who like,

in every step of the, the way, I'm always like, oh, how does this come across?

So I want to make sure that my partner feels comfortable, that they're not going to think about anything.

Because

I've been in situations in the past where I was thinking all those things, you know, where you're insecure.

And so

I'm not saying she needs to think about that every step of the way, but she could, I feel like these dots are easily connected.

Exactly.

And she could go, oh, I could see how he could be a little insecure.

I need to just go talk to him and tell him, like, there's nothing to worry about.

Yeah.

I will say too, again, depends on the boots, but like there was a story a while ago where someone's guy friend got her like a first edition book.

And it turns out this book was like three grand or like 2,500 like some crazy thing.

Boyfriend had a problem.

They fight about it and it did turn out that that guy had feelings.

Oh

yeah.

I mean

three grand.

It was a luji book.

Holy crap.

And a book is like that's like a collector's item.

I can even see that being like a step away intimacy wise in terms of like maybe everyone in this situation is all doing financially well.

Yeah.

You know, we don't know necessarily like.

We don't have a lot of context on this one, yeah.

Like, what if $600 is like nothing to them?

We don't know, it's like buying a coffee, I know, right?

Totally, yeah, maybe not,

it's definitely, I think it's definitely a story where, in some context, this is nothing, yeah, we just don't know, and I do think in a lot of contexts, this is something.

What if he gave her the shoes, and she's like, Oh my god, he's like, Yeah, why don't you take those shoes off?

Split those dogs out.

Oh,

put the new boots on, put the new boots on really slowly.

I don't know why I tried to make it a foot thing.

I tried to make it a foot thing.

I'm sorry.

It's like we get an update.

It's like, yeah, he's a foot guy.

Yeah.

He actually bought me the new boots so he could smell.

Oh my god.

He wants it.

He wants the old boots.

That's the whole reason he did it.

Oh.

No, it's not.

It's not.

We have no update.

I'm so sad.

I know.

I'm sorry.

I'm going to like literally go sign up for like post alerts from the account after this.

I think that one is the messiest as far as a situation goes.

That's messy.

That is.

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I went on a date with a girl, hit it off with her friend.

Love, actually.

Okay, Ted Mosby.

Like, what?

Yeah.

I met up with a girl at a bar with her friends.

Our first time meeting.

The girl I met up with and I had fun, kissed a little, was fine.

But her friend and I really seemed to connect.

She was with a guy, but said they'd only hung out twice.

Now the girl I met up with wants another date, but she said she's going out with a lot of people right now and doesn't really know what she wants.

I don't know if I want to waste my time with that.

Is it fucked if I follow her friend on Instagram in hopes of a follow back so I can DM to grab a drink sometime?

Of course, the worst she can say is no, and her friend that I went out with would stop talking to me.

But I need you people to help me ignore my moral compass here to make the move.

Thanks.

Ignore my moral compass.

I need help.

I need bad advice.

Let me be bad.

Here's my thing.

And I got to say, like, when it came to dating, I always sucked at it.

I rarely dated.

I hardly had any experience.

I never had a situation where I like was remotely close to this, right?

So from my outside lens, I'm also of the opinion of just like, hey, it was one date.

Like, you're showing up.

Like, these are all strangers.

You don't technically owe anyone anything.

If I was on a date with a girl and she came and hung out with a group of people and then, and then she ended up liking someone else.

I look, would I maybe be pissed?

Sure, but I'm also just like,

I don't know you.

I don't have to talk to you ever again.

Yeah.

So it's kind of one of those like low stakes like things in my eyes.

I know people have a lot of strong opinions when it comes to dating.

But I guess I always had the view of just like, well, we just don't know each other.

We're strangers.

Yeah, I feel like if you're all so new to meeting each other, like to have some kind of emotional claim already feels strange.

So like, yeah, if I was in that situation, I don't even think I would be mad.

I think I'd honestly be relieved just because of my anxiety.

Like, ooh, don't have to worry about that person.

Okay.

But there's people pleasing of it all.

I feel like OP is dealing with like people pleasing.

Like, I think the best way to honestly go about this, if I was in their situation, is don't continue to pursue the original person because that's you're then you're intentionally leading on to people yeah i would be honest and you don't even have to go listen i actually really liked you at that one gathering so i'd like to pursue you now it's just no you if you wanted to reach out be like hey like how are you doing build a friendship first like and if that that that friend only saw that guy a couple times that's it seems like she she didn't have to volunteer that information sounds like she's seeing people she's dating she might be open to it yeah so that's that's how i would go about it and i'm and if you wanted to be honest with the original person you dated and being like, hey, like, I thought it was great, but like, I'm not feeling it like that.

Oh, who do you like?

Yeah.

Like, go after who you like.

It is early.

It's the first date.

The first date.

How old again?

Doesn't say.

Doesn't say.

So it's giving younger, like 20s or 20s.

And so it's like, did you have to make out with the one if you already knew you liked the other?

Maybe not, but hey, early on, you can't be sad if the first one doesn't want to see you again, though, if you ask out the friend.

And just go after who you like.

He does say the girl he met up with wants another date, but she said she's going out with a lot of people right now.

There you go.

And doesn't really know what she wants.

I can't imagine she's going to be like, how dare you?

She's telling him.

She's telling him I'm seeing other people.

Yeah.

So I feel like she might be the type that's like, oh yeah, cool.

Like, that might even have been her saying, yeah, that was fun, but I saw you were coming into her too, so I'm seeing other people too.

Like, kind of leaving that open in that casual oh what a lovely healthy dating life of of people all it's just a bunch of people in a salad it's giving kosher it is it's giving it's gonna be kosher it's good it's kosher and like i'm usually like hey don't you know don't shit where you eat but like this is not serious this was one brief date sounds like a double date very casual group hang setup not you're not going after your ex-girlfriend of two years friend.

Like that's not that.

This is one casual date.

There's no emotional stakes.

You don't mean much to these people.

No, they don't know.

I would hope not.

Yeah, I'd be a little concerned if they're scared.

They're just freaking bringing down the hammer.

Like, what?

Yeah.

Some comments.

It's not fucked up of you to try, but it will be up to them how they handle it.

Depends how strongly the girl you went out with feels about it and whether she'd be cool with her friend giving it a shot with you.

Risky, but if she's seeing other people, she might not care.

Give it some time, though.

Someone said, y'all are giving horrible advice.

They're both going to drop you when they realize that what you're trying to do, if they have any ounce of loyalty to each other.

Someone said this happened to me.

I went on a second date with a guy and he later met my friend.

He was attractive, but I wasn't attracted to his personality.

He hit it off with my friend and kindly texted me and asked if it was okay if he pursued my friend.

He even offered to set me up with one of his friends.

I declined his offer.

He was nice about it, so I texted my friend and she was interested, so I gave him her number.

They went on a couple dates and didn't work out.

in the long run, but it didn't bother me.

Yeah, I feel like this is one where

in his position, he's allowed to do what he wants.

I agree that it's like, hey, depends on their friendship, their dynamic, what's going on there.

That's in their core.

Yeah.

You can only control yourself.

Shoot your shot.

I do like that little bit of rules of engagement, like, hey, appreciate the date.

You know, I know you said you wanted to grab a second, but I actually kind of hit it off with your friend.

Would you be cool if I asked her out?

It's like you saying how it's kosher.

Like, this will only bother people as much as they want it to.

You know, like

as much as you want your ego to be involved of like, oh, they got that, they want them instead of me, like you can either let that bother you or not.

You know?

Right.

Yeah.

Update.

What?

Wow.

Whoa.

Wow.

Finally got one.

Jane, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Yeah, I feel like

Wow.

I'm shocked.

She's going to throw the poof at me.

I feel like you're going to say just kidding, though.

I feel like this isn't real until I hear it.

Yeah, Psyche.

No, I'm just kidding.

Can you imagine?

I pull out a gun.

Okay.

It's a poof gun.

Square gun.

Square gun.

Square gun.

Square gun.

Yeah.

Update is three days later.

Okay.

I took your guys' advice and decided to do it the nice way.

I asked the girl I'd gone on a couple dates with if I could grab her friend's number since it seemed like me and the girl I originally went out with were looking for different things.

She was talking about all the dates with other guys she had lined up.

And I liked talking to her friend a lot.

She said yes and gave me her friend's number and told me she would be happy to help.

Said if I wanted any advice to let her know whenever I needed it.

Yeah.

These are girls' girls, they're people's girls.

Everybody's happy.

Everybody's dating.

Everyone will find their person.

I love it.

I then texted her friend, mentioned how I had enjoyed talking to her and would love to grab a drink sometime.

She responded that she felt the exact same and would love to.

From there, the texting was kind of dry, which had me confused.

So I texted the girl I originally went out with, saying I appreciate her help, but it doesn't seem like her friend was interested.

It was then that she revealed that it was her guy friend friend this whole time whose number she'd given me.

They both then said some rather mean things and they seemed to get great joy out of fucking with me.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Catfish him?

Wait, take a bag, take it.

Take

it back.

He asked for the friend's number.

Right.

He said, yeah, I'd be happy to.

And if you need help, and then she gave his number to one of her guy friends.

Oh, that's so mean.

Okay.

Diabolical.

I responded, fair play.

Ha ha.

That's that.

I shot my shot.

Nothing else I can do.

Not even mad.

Just surprised people like this exist, especially in the late 20s.

So, oh, oh.

Edit.

I don't want this to be an opportunity for people to virtue signal to themselves that this will happen to them or that people are inherently evil.

Always shoot your shot.

I would, and I will do it again.

You can do it, and so can I.

I wanted to make sure that the vibe on this post isn't too negative.

Love you guys.

Chill.

This guy's chill.

Honestly, he's really dancing.

Him responding, fair play, ha ha, probably pissed them off so much.

They were like, bravo.

Wait, so they both the girls didn't want a other girl.

We don't even know.

We don't even know.

See, oh, I want him to, like, he's got to get in the divine response.

Yeah, get in the direction.

Can I say, I don't actually think it's good if you're on a date with someone and you're going, hey, I'm seeing other people.

But she, like, to just give it as a preface, fine.

But he was like, yeah, she was talking about all these other dates she has lined up.

But on a first date, that's weird.

Then she responds with all of this.

I'm like, you're insecure.

You're insecure as hell.

So she's like,

that you can sit there and talk to your date about other people you're seeing, but then you're really upset when they might want to see someone else.

And they ask respectfully.

Like, if they try to ghost you or they do some slimy stuff and you want to do all this, sure.

But he was respectful.

He was just like, hey, like, is it cool?

He said, he said, hey, it seems like we're looking for other things.

Yeah.

Do you mind if I ask for your friend's number?

And then she does this.

Just piece of shit.

Just weird.

I mean, maybe she's been like hurt a bunch of times in all these dating stories.

And so she tries to keep you a little humble when she's dating you and going, yeah, well, I'm dating other people too.

So you're not that important to me.

So if you hurt me, it's not going to hurt me that much.

But like, also, like, what kind of act is that to like make this person feel bad by giving a guy friend's number?

Like, what are you trying to say?

What are you bullying him in a sense?

Like, it just feels like some weird catfish, mean psychological torture.

It's a lot of effort.

I'm just always blown away by people who put so much effort into things like this.

Get a hobby.

We're just like, damn, dude, you have the time?

I wish I had the time.

I don't feel alone.

Like, this is a first date.

This is a one date.

If you really don't like the guy and you feel weird about it, just tell him, oh, she's not interested.

Oh.

Just say that.

Move on.

This is so weird.

I definitely think that's what it was.

I don't think she's going on a bunch of other dates.

I think she's trying to create this like

false sense of demand and she's so hot and blah, blah, blah, blah.

Like, no one that actually has a bunch of dates lined up and...

has other options acts like this.

This is mean.

Yeah, it's not, it's not coinciding.

Some comments.

For anyone reading this, remember other people putting you down is a reflection of themselves, not you.

I pity people who need to put others down to make themselves feel better.

It really shows how little they think of themselves, which is quite ironic.

Lastly, someone said, was anyone in the previous post ever a woman with friends?

I don't understand how they think telling him to go after her friend was a good idea.

It's so tacky to go on a double date and then ask the other friend out.

What is everyone thinking?

And they're still telling him to ad slash message her on Instagram.

Literal proof Redditors need to go outside.

Dude, I need to go outside?

I don't know.

That one felt a little, we need to be a little more open-minded to how life happens and how this was a very like friendly, like reminds me how there's, there's, I think, Hinge used to do, or Bumble, Bumble has done those like singles events where they encourage that when you're using dating apps, don't just try and go on the one-on-one dates.

Make it a group date, make it a group thing, safer, can be more fun, people can mix and mingle.

And like, I think people should be a little bit more open-minded to those things because

you should be following your heart and what you want yeah not how things are supposed to be done like obviously like don't break the law or whatever but it's like you're just like we're all trying to find love this is all

love you know speed dating exists for a reason bumble did the meetups for a reason like you can like literally speed dating you're in the room and you just go chair to chair to chair and meet how many people

like come on it it was one first date and yeah i'm blown away yeah i'm blown away and there's nothing wrong with saying like these types of situations can hurt like it can be like oh man that sucks yeah i'm bummed out but

it's not always a reflection of of oh you're not good enough it's like no their connection just was different they're different people right because regardless this guy now figured out that that woman was not for him oh yeah yeah in more ways than one and late 20s too like which love doesn't have an expiration date like there's no timeline of how you should do things but like you would think by that point she's a little more level-headed and mature.

Childish behavior.

Like how she took that was childish.

Yeah.

She's so goofy.

Yeah, it's just a whole lot.

I hope he finds love.

He's going to be fine.

Green flags.

He sounds fine.

Yeah, and honestly, I did want to have him go in the DMs.

But like if that girl is friends with this one, maybe you don't even want to

bother.

Yeah, he doesn't need to.

I'd be curious to see what the friend would say about her friend's behavior, though.

Yeah.

Like, hey, I tried to ask you out.

And just so you know, like, she kind of catfished me with one of your guy friends.

Like,

I'd love to take you out for a drink.

I almost wonder, yeah, if it's like, hey, she might, this relate, this friendship

is a red flag.

Jealousy.

Some people, their best friends, are their biggest haters.

Yep.

Oh,

they all were almost so cool to me.

You know what I mean?

We were pumped.

I'm sitting over here.

Round of applause.

We were so pumped.

And then the rug swept out from us.

It's messy.

It is messy.

It's messy.

Okay, our next story comes from Am I the Asshole?

Am I the asshole?

Am I the asshole?

Am the asshole.

He's gonna have like some PTSD from that book.

I'm ready.

I almost threw it again.

I almost threw it.

I'm ready.

I'm gonna catch it next time.

I'm sorry.

I will catch it.

Think fast.

I'm sorry.

The next time you throw it, I'm gonna catch it with one hand.

Ooh.

And I'm gonna throw it over this partition.

Bet, bet.

Just you watch.

Okay.

Am I the asshole for making my sister's gender reveal cake gray because she wouldn't tell me the gender?

Huh?

Okay.

I need to know more.

Gray.

I, a 23-year-old man, bake as a hobby, and I'm actually pretty good at it.

Like, I get paid under the table for weddings and baby showers, kind of good.

My sister is pregnant and wanted me to make the cake for her gender reveal.

Cool, no problem.

I asked her to send me the info so I could prep the inside classic pink or blue filling.

She says, oh no, I want to be surprised too.

Just make it neutral for the reveal and we'll all find out together.

Huh?

I was like, huh?

Huh?

So you want a gender reveal cake with no gender revealed.

She says she'll have someone email the info to me later.

That someone never did.

Deadline comes and I still have no gender.

So I make the cake.

It's gray inside, gray outside, just full-on cement vibes.

I even added little fondant clouds for effect.

It still tasted great, but visually, grim as hell.

The reveal day comes, they cut into it, and my sister looks pissed.

Her husband is confused.

People start murmuring.

Then she pulls me aside like, why would you make it gray?

That's so passive-aggressive.

I calmly reminded her that no one told me the gender.

I literally had no data to work with.

I told her I wasn't about to guess or go full improv on someone's baby cake.

Now my mom says I embarrassed her in front of the family and that I should have tried harder.

Tried harder to do what?

Summon the gender through vibes?

So am I the asshole for making the most neutral reveal cake in history?

There's no way.

Okay.

I'm torn.

Okay, here's my thought though, is they never, nobody contacted him.

He could have probably reached out and said, hey, nobody's contacted him.

Like been like, before the party, been like, nobody's letting me know.

But she said to make it, she said to make it neutral.

That phrasing is, I also think he could have followed up on that and been like, what you're saying saying makes no sense.

What's neutral, though?

Is that like white?

Is it just a tan cake?

Like, neutral, yeah, neutral means literally neutral.

People think denim blue is a neutral thing.

Mauve, you know?

Mauve, olive.

People call olive neutral these days.

What's neutral?

Switzerland.

Instructions unclear.

If I was in OP's spot, I'd be like, okay, so my cake has nothing to do with the reveal.

You just want a cake that's there.

And the reveal is happening in this email that you're mentioning that I like.

What?

I think it was more so like she didn't even want to know.

She did not want to be tempted about having that email or that envelope.

So it was like, someone will email you.

Someone will send you if you need to make the inside blue or pink.

They never did.

But like, I fully agree.

Like, why not just follow up?

Like, that's so low effort.

True.

Just follow up.

It's big.

This is your sister's big announcement.

It's been a minute since we've had weaponized incompetence.

Yeah.

And this is a little bit of it.

I guess like the gray, like, I would be just so upset if I was expecting my brother to make me this beautiful beautiful cake and he gave me a concrete block.

I don't care if it tastes good.

I want a cute little cake and you're expecting to cut and then get this thing.

Is it especially especially if they're like good at making cakes for

special.

Yeah.

But it is kind of on her like I guess like they both could have followed up like hey did someone send you the email oh you never got it oh my god let me follow up with that.

But he's baking a whole cake.

So he baked a whole cake but didn't he put in all the work of baking a whole cake but didn't put in just the slight effort of just emailing being like, hey, I haven't heard.

Yeah.

But also, he doesn't even say, he didn't even say who was going to contact him.

I know.

I will also say, like, because I'm not, I'm not, I don't, this is very like interesting and messy, but like,

sometimes cakes, they aren't going to be made really quick day of, you know?

Like, they take time.

What's the deadline?

Like, lining up.

I agree.

There's a lot of reason.

There's a lot of ways that the cake maker could have done this better.

Like, they know what a pretty cake looks like that doesn't have have to be pink or blue.

I know that they potentially have a job that they, they said that they make cakes at a job and then they do their own on the under the table, right?

This is a hobby.

He bakes his own hobby, but he bakes stuff under the table and gets paid sometimes.

So it's not his full-time job.

I've seen great British bake off, though.

Those hobby bakers.

Yes.

Sometimes they're still better than the real thing.

It's a lot of lack of communication on his part that I'm a little surprised by.

Like,

I'm honestly surprised he made the cake.

Because he was told someone is going to contact you.

She said someone is going to contact you and tell you the gender.

Nobody contacted him.

Why bother me?

It would have been better for him to not make it and been like, nobody let me know.

That's true.

But instead, he makes it and then he has this whole surprise that he knows is not going to make her happy because he knows that they didn't contact him.

He almost wanted to embarrass them.

Yeah.

I think I have a lot of, there's a lot.

This is one of those where reading about it in this way,

it's tough for me to like think about it because for one,

We email a lot at our job and like there is a whole language to emails.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Like emails are horrible or nice depending on somebody's right.

And I'm like, I kind of want to see these emails.

I want to see this communication back and forth or the lack thereof.

Yeah.

But also I'm like, what's your guy's history?

Like what's your relationship?

What's your history?

What's your opinion?

Because like when it comes to gender reveal parties, I think they can be silly, especially if people don't care about the gender.

I know some people do, people do it for different reasons.

Some people go over the top with them, you know.

It's possible.

I think OP maybe is inserting their personal opinions into this cake too.

Like,

people calling him passive,

people calling them passive-aggressive for making the cake gray.

Because Gray is deliberate.

He said he is.

Gray is the worst.

In his normal words.

No, and he in his own words said it looked like concrete.

Yeah, okay.

Who wants a concrete?

You put a lot of work into a concrete.

Like

I'm fascinated to see gray cake.

I want to see it too.

I want to see this cloud.

I kind of want them.

I kind of want it.

I want a gray cake.

Look, the only thing that's going to save this guy at this stage, to me,

is if the baby later on is they, them.

It's like, all right, you clocked it.

Oh, psychic.

You know, like, the child later on is like, hey, I'm non-binary.

And this OP is going to be like, yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Clocked it.

I will say that.

But then they're like, my least favorite color is gray.

And he's going to be like, fuck so close i will say though like out of all the ways if you want to do a gender reveal i like the cake versus starting forest fires with

fireworks and stuff so it's ugly you know it's like cake destroy napa valley yeah yeah

cause a pilot i love a cake

are babies gender apocalypse

yeah yeah or what if what if they find out that they're that it's twins and now they're gonna have both oh and pink and blue gray what are they yeah

Depending on the icing, if you have pink and blue icing, it kind of turns the brownie gray.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know.

The verdict was asshole.

Yeah.

He was determined to be the asshole.

Honestly, it does surprise me, though.

You think so?

A little bit.

I could have seen, like, everyone sucks here.

I could have seen everyone sucks here a little bit.

Look, bad communication just frustrates me.

Yeah.

Just in general.

Because, like,

but...

He, I think the ball was in his court, is why I agree with this.

Okay.

I'm with it.

Comments, you're the one making the cake.

If you can't do it because you don't have the relevant information, that's on you.

Be pushy or cancel the job.

Come on now.

At least you could have made the cake white instead of gray.

That was passive-aggressive.

You're the asshole.

Someone said, Why couldn't you have made it yellow and baby-themed or something?

It seemed pretty vindictive to make the cake a grim cement vibes for an important event where you'd be serving many more people besides your air-headed sister.

I understand you were frustrated, but damn, she's pregnant.

That's all anyone is going to remember from that event now, which was kind of you're the asshole.

Someone said, yeah, just make a cake with the theme baby.

Vanilla, chocolate, yellow, red, velvet, green, purple, elephants, giraffes, balloons, toys, building blocks, a baby's face.

Literally, the possibilities are endless.

There was literally no reason to take a passive-aggressive jab at your sister on her big day.

So what?

There was some confusion about whether they wanted the cake to be pink or blue.

This is such a massive overreaction to a perceived slight grow up.

Lastly, someone said, you're the asshole.

I understand the frustration, but you could have told her nobody sent the info over and just made a cute baby shower style cake.

It was in fact unnecessarily passive-aggressive, especially crappy to do an emotionally fragile pregnant person on their special day.

Communication sucked on both sides.

Yeah, I'm like,

if I followed up.

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And you never got the info and you followed up and you're really frustrated.

Not that.

I would still, I'd be like, hey man, just make it like pink, blue, swirl.

Yeah.

So that it's like both.

And then, and then they cut in, they go, what's the deal?

And you go, I didn't get told, but I still made it in theme, like a cement cake for this event that's important to her.

It's like, it's such a choice.

I don't even know how he gets it.

Yeah, I mean, if the answer is communication, that could have fixed this.

Like, come on.

Yeah.

It's that simple.

Also, thinking about it, it's probably the most embarrassing for him.

You're this cake guy.

You make this cake, and that's what you make.

Yeah, none of those people are going to hire you.

No one's going to give your hobby business any money.

Cake boss was at this gender event.

You never know who's casting.

You never know.

Also, the fact that, like, it's not like this is something he quick, like, appeared out of nowhere.

He spent time

hours and care on this gray cake.

Like, there was a lot of time for a lot of decisions, you know.

I've never baked a cake in my life.

Really?

I just realized that.

I don't think I have either.

Oh, but you, you, oh my God.

You two have a little thing to do this.

I guess.

We've made pies.

There you go.

We made pies.

Pies are hard.

I feel like harder.

Pies are harder.

Okay.

Just a cake?

I don't know.

I think it's because...

I don't know.

In LA, there's so many places where you get great cakes.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, why am I going to make one when there's like milk bar and stuff, you know?

It's like.

Susie cakes, coconut flavor.

Exactly.

No, whenever a cake comes into this office,

it's

a cake takes to see us come in.

Oh, same.

Me?

Oh,

watch out.

Okay, our final story.

I fell in love with my married neighbor, and then I babysat his kids.

Now I'm questioning my feelings.

Uh-oh.

Uh-huh.

No.

That one made me a little nauseous.

No.

And I bought the kids boots that were $5 million.

Okay, so first of all, I'm new to Reddit.

So sorry if there are any mistakes or something.

There's no mistakes on Reddit.

There's lots of mistakes on Reddit.

Yeah.

I obviously can't talk about this with any of my friends or my mom, but then I saw a Reddit post on TikTok and I thought this would be a good place to talk about this.

I'm also going to post this in a couple of different places based on what came up when I googled best Reddits to post on for advice.

So also sorry if this shows up multiple times.

Finally, I know you all are going to judge me, but at least try to understand my side.

Thanks.

So I'm a 34-year-old woman, and seven months ago, I had a messy breakup with my long-term boyfriend.

So I moved in with my best friend and her husband in a house we are all renting together.

It was then that I met my neighbor, who I will call Kay.

He helped us move our stuff into the house and I was instantly smitten.

We live in the suburbs of a major city, so we both ended up taking the train into work at the same time each day.

I knew Kay had a wife and kids very early on.

He talked about them often and pictures of them on his lock screen, social media, etc.

However, it initially started out as a very innocent silly crush.

He is handsome, funny, and sweet.

The first time we rode the train, he asked me about my job and seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying, which is something my ex never did and is something we fought over a lot.

He is always doing things for his kids, like bringing home treats and stuff for them, and staying on the phone with his older daughter the entire ride to work because she needed a pep talk before a school presentation.

It was just so easy to imagine how lovely and attentive Kay would be with me because he is like that with everyone else.

No!

Kay has never said or done anything to imply that he has feelings for me yet.

But we are genuinely friends.

Please, no.

She didn't emphasize yet, but she wrote it.

But we are genuinely friends by now because we talk on the train, which is about a 20-minute ride, almost every weekday.

I have never had the trouble of getting attention of men, and with this basis we have already, I know that we could easily become something more.

Oh!

I also learned shortly after I developed feelings for him that his wife is someone I went to school with, and I was surprised because they are polar opposites.

He is funny, she is dry, he is exciting, she is cautious, he is a little dumb, she is very smart intellectually.

Looks-wise, this feels mean, but yikes.

I just don't think that their personalities fit very well together at all, and I can easily see Kay getting stuck in a relationship because he's just so nice.

No, no, no.

The issue is that yesterday evening, Kay knocked on my door and asked if I could watch his kids for a bit.

This was of course no trouble and I said yes right away.

He told me that his wife had gotten into a car accident while away on a business trip and because she is pregnant he was super worried and had booked the next flight out to go see her.

They don't have any family in the state currently so he asked me to keep an eye on them for a few hours while a family friend drove several hours to watch them at night.

Now this is where the issue came in.

These kids were an absolute nightmare.

There were three girls and the oldest was your typical Bratty preteen times a thousand.

She was rude and didn't respect my authority at all, arguing with me about everything from dinner to who had to clean up to what movies she was allowed to watch.

I even heard her call me a bitch under her breath a couple times.

The middle was rowdy and constantly wanted to play loud, messy games even when I told her no.

The youngest was mostly sweet and quiet on her own, but she joined in whatever drama the middle wanted to create.

It culminated in me agreeing to play hide-and-seek with the younger two and ended up getting locked out of the house.

When I went back and tried to convince the oldest to let me in through the back screen door, she pretended she couldn't hear me and put her headphones in.

Thankfully, the family friend arrived a few minutes later and let me in, and then I went home.

This makes me sad because before now, I would often dream about being a stepmom to Kay's kids one day because of how highly he would talk about them.

Now I want nothing to do with them.

But at the same time, this is further proof that Kay and his wife are not happy because children from a happy home do not behave like this.

Okay.

She's never met preteens in her life.

Oh my god.

I just want to have a relationship with Kay, but I do not know if it is possible because his kids and I would not get along, and this is even before a potential divorce where their mother could easily get them to hate me.

I really love Kay, and I know that we could have a beautiful relationship if I pursued this, but this has really shaken me.

I just wish I had someone to talk to about this, but everyone in my life would judge me.

Hey guys, it's me.

For good reason.

It's me, the Joker.

And I'm I'm really in love with Kay.

Oh my gosh.

She needs to pull her head out of the overthinking sand.

I don't know if there's any hope of that.

My question is because kids are smart,

did these kids just clock it?

You never know.

Do you think the kids knew?

Do you think this was like a parrot trap situation?

Like they put it on a mattress and pushed it out into the lake?

Like it's giving me not.

It's giving just what they're doing.

It's giving maybe, okay.

God, I have so much to say.

Oh.

Like, okay, yeah, no shit.

This handsome, charming, emotionally available guy is married with kids because that's who he is.

This is his life.

Has nothing to do with you.

He's not for you.

He's not going on that train because he chooses you to get on that train.

He's there because he has to go to work.

He's got to go to work.

Like, she's reading into everything.

And oh my God, I can't believe the delusion.

That.

I wish I could have David Attenborough's voice to just be like, this is a niche level of delusion.

You've come across out in the wild.

Like, this is an insane level of delusion.

You thought this, you typed it, and you still hit post.

And yeah, that is a glimpse of what being a stepmom would be if you're going to be a home wrecker.

Yeah, I mean.

Good.

I wouldn't doubt that, like, maybe people have tried to comfort...

Kay before.

Like, like, maybe women be sniffing around and the daughters are sick of it.

Maybe that's why they clocked her.

But, like, that's me overthinking as much as you can.

Yeah.

This is a special kind of delusion.

Like, we see delusion a lot on Reddit.

This is scary.

I think this is scary.

This is excessive delusion.

This is scary, scary delusion.

I think if this was flipped and this was a guy, we'd be like, you need to call the cops.

Yeah.

And I think it's borderline that level.

I'm like, I think she needs to be.

When you get this far where you're like, yeah, so when we get married and we have kids, I'm like...

This is like stalker talk.

Yeah.

It is.

The way she's like speaking for the wife and all these things.

Like, oh yeah, yeah, I knew her.

It's really shocking because I know him and they're not the same at all.

Like, you don't know him.

He's just being nice to you.

He has his wife and kids on his lock screen, according to OP.

I'm like, this guy is comfortable.

There's a baby on the way.

I don't know.

I have so many.

I have theories on the kids because...

I mean, she's ghost and the kids.

That's okay.

Sorry.

Tell me about the kids, Shane.

Well,

I'm just thinking, how did it get so bad so quickly?

Because I'm like, if I had to go emergency watch some kids, I'm not going to be trying to like police them or parent them.

No.

I'm going to be like, hey, I'm just here to make sure like someone's here.

I think she went over there and immediately was trying to become the stepmom.

And I think that's why this intense reaction.

Because it's just like, hey, this stranger's coming over to chill with you.

I don't think...

most kids would freak out this hard.

No, that's true.

But I think she was like, oh, let's play games.

Let's do stuff.

I want you guys to like me.

Time to get me.

And

yeah the worst thing you can do with with kids of almost any age but preteens is to want them to like you yeah yeah and if i was in that situation and i didn't have feelings for kay i'd be like and the kids are being nightmare i'd be like i would pull the card and be like your mother is in the hospital she is hurt do you want to be acting like a nightmare while your mother is in the hospital and like that i think that would make them calm down real quick yeah but she of course i'm like she probably wouldn't want to bring up the mom because she's already deleted the mom from her own memory yeah like

this is terrifying.

It is really scary.

And

I've seen a little too much true crime stuff lately.

But, like, people have committed murder to get the life they want.

And that's what this is starting to get.

And I think you're on the money.

She must have gone in and done something and like really laid down the hammer because for the one teenager to call her a bitch.

Yeah, whoa.

Within doing

a couple hours.

No,

I think you're dead on.

She tried to go in and be.

That's, I think, what it would be.

It's more theories on her I'm just like this is a shocking situation.

Yeah

I mean who knows who knows I mean it's also very possible that he's all I mean I guess he could already be a little wary of her but he's in a situation it's a situation where he had no choice but to like

yeah if he's choosing to stay on the phone with his daughter the entire train ride home which valid if that was legitimate but also like It sounds like she's not very aware of how she's being perceived by other people.

So he's like, huh, okay, I think our neighbor is a little bit more.

While another friend drives hours to come stay with them.

So he did not want her to stay with them.

He's like, you're here only for a little bit until this family friend comes.

It's, yeah.

This is like, this is a standout as far as stories we've read here.

Yeah.

It's scary.

This is enough.

There's been a couple that have been really bad.

And this one's up there.

Comments, honestly, it doesn't sound like you love him.

You romanticize him and have this fantasy life in your head.

Yeah.

In your head, you act like he would drop his wife and run away with you.

You justify this belief by saying his children are wild, so it must be an unhappy home.

Meanwhile, you completely ignore the fact that his wife is pregnant and he dropped everything to go to her.

You say the kids do not respect your authority.

It sounds like they barely know you, and suddenly you're in charge.

You're not their mother and will never be their mother.

You think you will have a beautiful relationship with Kay if you pursued him?

No, you wouldn't.

He has a family that he clearly loves.

Just because he is nice to you doesn't mean he wants you.

I encourage you to discuss things with a professional because this isn't healthy.

OP responds.

How do you know whether or not I love him?

Are you inside my head?

You can love someone before being in a relationship with them.

And just like I don't know for sure that he loves me, you don't know that he doesn't.

You never know until you cross that bridge.

I know he wouldn't just drop everything and run away with me.

There would be months and even years of divorce court, custody arrangements, etc.

If he decided to leave his wife, and before the comments come in, yes, I know there's no guarantee that he will do that.

But Kay is a good, honest man.

If anything were to happen between us, he would absolutely leave his wife because it wouldn't be fair to either of us.

And he told me he believes very strongly in fairness.

That's why I'm asking.

I know this could be a messy situation if anything happened.

I just want to know if his kids being difficult will make things worse if it does happen.

I want to know if the potential pros outweigh the potential cons.

This super sweet, honest, fair guy who will definitely leave his wife.

He promised to be with her.

happening.

What in the world?

She's like, if and when is like really what I'm hearing.

She, she's like, so gone.

If and when we cross that bridge, ma'am, there is no bridge.

No, you're looking across the Grand Canyon.

Yeah.

There's no bridge.

No, it's really like, I hope, I hope a lot of people see these kinds of stories where it's like, doesn't like where genders can be irrelevant to the dynamics of what's going on of like, hey,

you are, this is just because someone happens to be around you a lot is friendly to nice

has that that is not for you like I am a flirtation a flirtatious person.

Am I flirting with you?

No, that's not for you.

Even if even if it's if I'm just being nice, it can be taken, you know what I'm saying?

Like, oh, yeah, he's married and he has kids.

It's like, regardless, like have some awareness of the facts that are laid out.

Clearly, a bad breakup.

I know that was mentioned and like moved in with her friend and friend's husband.

And so like the first nice guy she sees, she's like imprinting upon like a little gosling goose baby.

Like

there's someone else out there for you and it's not him and you need to talk to somebody.

I'm shocked she even posted on Reddit because I'm like, she's not going to listen to anyone.

No.

I'm fascinated so many times when people ask for advice that I'm like, you don't want advice.

She just wanted one person to say go for it.

And she's probably going to take that one.

Yeah.

No, that's, it's, it's, she's clearly having a lot of conversations with herself about this.

You know what I'm saying?

Update.

Oh, God.

Whoa.

Okay.

There we go.

One day later, and it is a screenshot of a text exchange.

No.

No.

He saw the Reddit.

So he saw the Reddit post.

I hope.

Kay texts her.

Blank and the girls are okay.

Thank you for watching the girls.

O.P.

responds, of course.

Anytime, Smiley Face.

Let me know if there's anything else I can do.

Kay responds, thumbs up emoji.

Kay then shares link to Red Host.

Oh!

Oh my god.

Kay says.

Kay says, is this you?

Because if it is, we need to talk.

I promise you that I have absolutely no interest in leaving my family for you.

I'm sorry if I ever gave you the wrong idea, but I don't see you as anything more than a neighbor.

I don't think we should be friends anymore.

OP responds, wait, can I call you?

Oh my god.

No.

Let me shoot my shot though.

Can I sing for you?

Okay.

Wait.

I think I hit it off with your friend.

Can we talk?

Wait, okay, so Kay found the Reddit post and sent it.

I think this Reddit post had to have blown up, and she also posted it everywhere.

I'm stressed.

Yeah.

She's on some hot takes.

Oh, she posted it on my subreddit.

Oh!

If there's more updates, you'll have to cover it.

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

No.

I can't go through this twice.

So we found this from True Off My Chest, but she posted this everywhere, including to.

Oh, God.

Thank God I missed it.

Wow.

Didn't need that stress.

Oh, my God.

Wow, bro.

So she said nothing.

She just posted the screenshot.

She posted the screenshot.

Honestly.

Oh, my God.

I'm surprised she posted it.

Kind of embarrassed.

I'm surprised she posted it too.

But again, speaks to the disconnect.

Yeah.

Yeah, maybe she posted it to be like, look what you did.

You guys ruined my chances.

It's really tough.

Like, it's always shocking, you know,

these types of stories, I often go, oh, this isn't real.

But

it's a stark reminder sometimes of

people like this existing.

And there are people that are so delusional that they will post about it in such a public manner and not think twice about it.

Right.

No, I think unfortunately it happens a lot.

And this was a really important thing my therapist told me.

It's like there are feelings and there are facts.

And OP was treating her feelings having more weight than the facts, which is this person is married, more kids on the way, a loving home, everything is good this does not have you in the equation well what's also and this is I think a reflection of like we all do this and it's really bad nowadays is you can prove yourself right endlessly you can convince yourself of anything and prove it to be true by looking at everything that supports you that belief

without having any doubt in your mind if if all she had to do was take a look and go what if I'm wrong but she refused to because she's going well here's all these things that prove that I'm right and yeah you can do that with anything I mean that's how we have people drinking raw milk right now so

what is up with that and look it was flat earth a couple years ago now they're drinking they're gonna move on to something else soon it's just really scary it's it is um you honestly though there are people out there where like you guys we could have gone an update that instead was like Kay saw the post and now we're having an affair yeah

I was really I was honestly really worried I'm like I hope he really is a great guy and loyal to his wife and he he is.

Did the right thing.

But

that was messy, but mess avoided.

Happy ending in my book.

Yeah.

No other updates?

No other updates.

I'm sorry.

Girl, if you're out there,

let us know.

We're going to go.

Maybe she's...

Maybe that delusion's gone down.

Maybe, maybe things really ended up better.

Hey, and you know, I want to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Bad breakup, first nice guy.

Really just, we're going through it.

Go to therapy.

It will be good.

You'll find your person.

Fair.

She hadn't taken any horrible actions yet.

No, yeah.

Just bad delusion.

Posting on Reddit.

Anyways, Morgan, thank you for being here.

Thank you for having me.

Make sure to check out Two Hot Takes.

Incredible show.

Thank you.

Great stuff.

You both have been on.

Yes, yes.

We have.

We have.

Separately.

It was a great time.

I know.

We'll have to do a little double sometime.

This was great.

This was great.

Yeah.

Make sure there's poofs there.

Courti can throw them.

No, it's okay.

I understand.

Yeah, you might be a little liability.

Okay.

Yeah.

You need to up the insurance up on there.

Yeah.

Up the rider.

Thank you both for being here.

These were definitely messy.

And thank you all for watching.

And I hope none of this mess ever finds you.

Aw.

Yeah.

As always, let us know what other themes and subreddits you want us to cover on the show.

And we will see you next Saturday.

Goodbye.

Bye.

Goodbye.

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