Can You Guess The Plot Twist? | Reading Reddit Stories

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Hello and welcome to Reddit Stories.

I'm Shane and today's theme, plot twist.

That's right.

You're not going to see what's going to happen next.

You're going to have no idea.

You're going to be blindsided over and over again in this episode.

And I'm joined by two people

who have no idea what's about to happen next.

Angela and Trevor.

What?

Wait, what's going on?

What if I just like...

Never mind.

I don't know.

Just never mind.

I was thinking about a joke of like, oh, actually, we're heading over where we're going to do Bordeaux.

Plot twist.

That'd be an awesome plot twist.

That'd be.

Not in a bad way, like, I don't want to be here.

Like, in a way that's like, that caught me off car.

Yeah.

It would have.

If you'd committed to it, it would have been like, whoa.

It's like how they say,

when you make plans, God laughs.

That's so true.

I don't think I've heard anyone say that until just now.

I have.

All right.

Love you.

Wow.

I do think it's really funny.

I don't think people realize with this show, like, we just got done playing Uno a second ago.

Like,

we go from doing the most batshit, stupid stuff, and then we sit down on this couch.

Oh, you go to your star wagon.

Yeah, we go to our wagon.

I get my Fiji water.

Okay.

Just kidding.

We usually sit on the same couch and we're silent for five minutes.

Think about it.

And then we come over here and then we have to completely shift the gears to a different type of mindset.

I sat on a couch and watched Tim fix a computer.

That's sick.

For like really cool.

Yeah.

And he was just fixing the computer.

And I was like, wow, this guy's the best.

I trust him with my life.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Let's get into our first story.

This comes from Am I the Asshole?

And this was posted recently.

Am I the asshole for telling my neighbor I dated her husband?

Wait, say it again.

Am I the asshole for telling my neighbor I dated her husband?

Copy.

Okay, letting someone know like, hey, your husband, we dated at one point.

Yeah.

I, a 33-year-old woman, became friendly with my neighbor, a 37-year-old woman.

Let's call her Emily.

After I helped her move a few boxes into our building while her husband, a 35-year-old man, was in the hospital.

I didn't meet Emily's husband until a few weeks later when she invited me over to dinner as thanks.

When I first arrived, Emily's husband had run out to pick up some wine.

But when he came back, I was shocked to see Matt, a guy I had gone on three dates with a year ago, before he suddenly ghosted me.

He had a terrible poker face and tried to pretend like he didn't recognize me.

I don't play those games.

I asked how long they had been married, and Emily said, Three years.

She recognized there was tension and asked if we knew each other.

He said

I said yes and told Emily that I had gone on dates with him a year ago.

She became very upset and asked me to leave, which I did.

The next day, Emily reached out and said that she didn't appreciate that I lied about when I dated her husband.

He told her we had dated four years ago, before they were married.

I didn't even live in this city four years ago.

And even if we had dated four years ago, they had been engaged at that point.

Either way, he would have been cheating.

I sent her screenshots of our texts texts from the year before and from Bumble of his profile, which was still active.

She never responded, but when I saw her in the lobby yesterday, she wouldn't even look me in the eye.

I don't know if they're still together, and Emily hasn't responded to my texts.

So am I the asshole for telling her the truth?

Wow.

What a situation to find yourself in.

I'm going to be thinking about that one for a bit.

Wow.

Yeah.

The audacity.

Yeah.

Verdic's not the asshole.

I don't think she's the asshole at all.

Obviously.

No, I think this is tough.

You're trying so hard.

What?

I think it's tough.

No, I think this is really tough.

What do you think is tough?

Trevor, what do you think?

I think we'll be thinking about this for a bit.

I think this is a really, this is not an open and shut case here.

You know?

Yeah, that's crazy.

We don't know what's going on.

I'd say, yeah.

It's tough to say, yeah.

We've got to cut it.

How can we have the drop back?

We did a little prank on you.

The first sentence of K-Life's mouth.

I love fucks and doing it.

I was like, really?

It was really cool to sit in it for a second and be like, what if we gave you nothing?

Yeah.

And I'm just like, okay, so cool discussion show we have here, guys.

Spencer and Trevor thought great before.

Were you guys talking about this shit before?

Yeah.

Spencer and Trevor are like, what if you guys go up there?

Don't give them anything.

We just don't, we're just like, man, that's crazy.

Okay, but honestly, jokes aside, blocks mystery right there.

Okay, pretty good.

Pretty good.

You got me.

Yeah, you got me.

Because, like, what if you had a story and no one had anything to say?

Anyway, but we do.

So, what sucks about this is that she's taking it out.

The wife is taking it out on OP.

Sure.

And

it's like a classic where the other person in this scenario is the asshole.

It seems like he cheated, but she's like, well, fuck you for telling me.

Right?

Yeah.

And I mean, I also think it's, I don't know if it's quite there or if it's, because she's saying you lied.

I can't believe you lied about when you guys dated because my husband's now saying we dated, you dated four years ago.

The husband had already said, no, I don't know this person

and then said, No, we dated four years ago.

So you, she, she knows.

Yeah.

But, like, I think we all know we've been in situations similar where you're just like, I, my, I do not want to allow my brain to process what's actually happening.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, you then have to face that, and that's awful.

But don't take it out on the person who went out on a

but now she's doing a horrible thing.

And it's like,

exactly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The classics.

The classic deny.

The classic deny, project.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Denial with a side side of projection.

I'm going to be thinking about that one.

I really am going to be thinking about it.

But no, she's not the asshole.

In fact, I mean, like, this is a bold person for not being afraid to just be open and upfront about it.

Yeah.

Honestly, sometimes hiding behind someone else's lie is easier.

I think I've fallen for that sometimes where two friends, I see someone kind of not telling the full truth.

And you're like, it's going to be messy if I step in there and I actually go, I am the soldier here.

And I will tell you this person is lying.

But it is the right thing.

I don't know.

It's the right thing to, I don't know, it depends.

It depends on each scenario, right?

But this person was doing the right thing by telling the truth.

Of course.

Kind of looking out for people.

Well, you're aware of like, hey, he's cheating on you.

That's horrible.

Like, and very blatantly, like, has an active Bumble account, has all this stuff going on.

Active at a time of...

Active as a posting.

Well, then this is fucked up that OP is getting in trouble.

Yeah, exactly.

No, it is.

Because I would say.

that you know we she doesn't know these people right they're strangers they could they could be in an open relationship but if that's the case if she brings this up it should not be horrible for them to hear and right like maybe i'm wrong but like

so either way bringing it up is fine at the end and 100 justified when it's like hey this guy's cheating on you he's pretending he doesn't know who i am yeah and it's not like she has an agenda to like get with him or something no like she's just being like hey i'm reporting we went on three dates he ghosted me she has no interest in it yeah yeah the wife is mad that op is breaking her reality yeah it seems i do respect op too because like yeah you don't really it's not like she's friends with these people.

It's like she helped them move in some boxes and they're just neighbors.

Like it would have been very easy for her to just like,

not my problem, not my issue, like leave it alone.

I would say I could see a lot of people in this situation being like, oh shit, these are my neighbors.

Like I am just going to pretend.

Yeah.

Well, and that's what the husband probably was thinking was going to happen.

Yeah.

But hey, good on her for not letting him get away with it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Comments.

You told her the info she did need to hear.

Now just let the pieces fall where they will.

Do not engage further.

Not the asshole.

You are being honest, but it's best to leave her alone now.

Someone else said, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

She has all the info she needs to make a decision.

That's all you can do.

OOP commented saying, update.

Emily just stopped by.

We had a quick chat, but she let me know that she's kicked Matt out and she thanked me for telling the truth.

She also found out that I was not the only person he dated while they were married, Giving her space now, but wanted to share an update since it happened so quickly after posting.

Okay.

Good.

And shocker, plot twist, he was dating other people too.

Can you believe that?

Wow.

Can you believe that, dude?

Dude.

I can't believe that.

I'm going to be thinking about that one.

Yeah.

That one's going to sit with me for a bit.

Let's think about that for a while.

Update.

Okay.

For real.

Do I get to, is this where you get to guess?

What do we think the plot twist is?

And then if you know that's...

If you guess it, you get a a yahtzi yeah you guess it you get a yahtzi and we get to we get to scare everyone in the office okay we know there's a plot twist coming so what we think is happening is probably not happening

plot the

obvious plot twist is like

you know

i think obvious plot twists they get into a relationship with each other Whoa.

Whoa.

That's like me.

That's what I want.

I want to be the happy end.

Pretty cool.

They move.

Because that woman, the neighbor, wants to not think about that.

And she's like, let's get out.

Okay.

Happy ending plot twist to me is that they

start dating.

Bad ending plot twist to me is that OP gets in a relationship with the guy after they break up.

Yo.

Okay,

because my gears are turning, I wouldn't normally make these types of assumptions, right?

But this is plot twist, so I'm thinking like, what's the craziest possible thing?

I'm trying to get a Yahtzee here.

What if this is absolutely, this is fictional Bonkerstown.

If OP

moved here on purpose to split them up.

Yes.

Dude.

This was all the plan all along.

And OP's in debt.

Dude.

Yes.

And also that.

Dude.

Stole something from a museum.

Yeah, man.

I'm going to think about that.

Okay, let's see.

Give me a one-way ticket to fictional Bonkerstown.

Okay.

Jesus Christ.

Okay, here we go.

A happy final update.

Over the last few days, I've been hanging out with Emily along with her sister and two BFFs who flew in to support her.

Tuesday night, she texted me, space is overrated.

Wine?

And that was that.

Matt confessed to everything and more, and it was all a lot worse than anyone thought, but this isn't about him anymore.

We've all had some really good, sometimes difficult conversations, but it's all been very cathartic and surprisingly positive.

I found myself in the company of some pretty amazing women.

Did you get it?

Which is why this situation has turned out the way it has.

I moved to this city two years ago without knowing anyone, and it certainly wasn't an easy thing to tell someone that I'd hoped would be a friend.

To be honest, it kind of felt like word vomit in the moment.

And when I first posted this, I admittedly wanted validation because there was a large and loudly nagging part of me that thought I'd done the wrong thing.

100%.

So I'm very grateful to have come through what began as a really awful situation with four awesome new friends and far more laughs than tears.

Emily, her sister, and I now are planning bi-weekly brunch dates and we also discovered that we have some other friends and interests in common.

This post got far more attention than I ever anticipated, so I did end up telling Emily about it.

Her sister joked that we should start a podcast together and we both shouted, no.

So this is both the end and a new beginning of this story.

Thank you all for the support and kind words for both me and Emily.

We're going to be just fine signing off.

Okay, so the plot twist is that they became friends.

Yeah.

All right.

Which is the best case scenario.

Yeah.

I'm very glad I'm wrong.

Me too.

Me too.

I'm glad we are too.

Yeah, we were all assuming a lot of really wild things.

Yeah, I'm not counting out my first theory, though.

This could still

fall in love.

Absolutely.

They can fall in love.

I'm holding that, hope.

That would be

the brunch girlies.

Yeah.

Yes.

That would be awesome.

Bi-weekly brunch sounds like an easy commitment.

Bi-weekly brunch is,

that is the ultimate best scenario that could have happened.

Yeah.

Like if we, if someone threw out bi-weekly brunch, I'd be like, you're thinking too positively.

It's too optimistic.

You weekly brunch, you mean?

Bi-weekly.

Yeah.

Bi-weekly.

They have bi-weekly brunch, which I think is better than weekly brunch.

Weekly brunch is too much of a commitment.

That's what I'm going to say.

Bi-weekly is better.

Honestly, I'm walking away from this story thinking a bi-weekly commitment in friends is the way to fucking go.

Because a weekly commitment, even like D ⁇ D every week, who are you kidding?

I don't know.

Bi-weekly anything, it's just like, that's where I'm going.

You really need to start promoting bi-weekly stuff.

That's

a jam.

If anybody takes anything from this podcast, it's that.

It's just like,

think about your problem right now while you're driving in the car listening to this Reddit story.

And what if you made it bi-weekly

instead of every week?

And you know what?

That's going to stick with me.

Yeah.

That's going to stick with me.

And I'm so glad they said no to a podcast.

That means they're good people.

Yeah.

People who start podcasting.

I hate them.

Podcasts are bad, and people who host them, even worse.

Yeah.

It's true.

You've been saying that.

I've been saying that in my mirror.

In my mirror.

So that was a happy plot twist.

We're just getting our toes a little dipped in.

But don't worry.

It's going to get worse.

Yay.

Like it always does here.

It always does here.

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Okay, our next story comes from Relationships.

And this was posted in 2014.

Wow.

20 years ago.

I was 14 years old when this was happening.

That's too much for me to handle.

Okay.

Does that make you 25 right now?

Yeah, 25.

That's fucking crazy.

Yeah, my fault.

Really suck the air out of my

quietest it's ever been.

Honestly, we were all just doing math.

We were all thinking really hard.

Okay.

This is a 22-year-old woman.

Me with my boyfriend, who's 24 of three years.

He found out that his ex is engaged and literally won't stop crying.

Oh.

Oh, God.

Oh, boy.

Yeah, that's not a good look.

I...

22-year-old woman met my boyfriend who's 24 three years ago through some mutual friends.

He was pretty guarded, and I was the one that pursued him.

We were long distance.

I was living in Oregon, he was living in Washington, until I moved in with him last year.

My boyfriend has only had one other relationship and a hookup before me.

He stopped talking to the hookup a long time ago because she was crazy, but he kept in touch with his ex until she cut contact with him around two years ago.

They dated when he was 15 and it lasted for around two years, and then she dumped him because he had no self-respect.

Apparently, she's the reason why my boyfriend is so guarded now.

I'll admit that I was really jealous of her and was glad when she cut contact with him because she's beautiful and my boyfriend talked about her as if she had all of life's answers.

This past January, I woke up in the middle of the night and I heard my boyfriend crying quietly.

I could tell that he was looking at his phone and I wasn't sure whether or not to say anything since I wasn't sure if he just wanted a private moment or not.

After a while he got up to go to the bathroom so I took a peek at his phone.

He was on Facebook looking at his ex's profile.

She had gotten engaged and there were pictures of the ring and everything.

It's been two months now and my boyfriend has been breaking down out of nowhere.

I keep asking him to talk to me about it, but he won't.

I told him to talk to a therapist and he got really insulted and said that he doesn't believe in therapy.

Sick, dude.

I'm unsure of what to do since this happens at least twice a week.

I love him, but he's always seemed a bit distant to me and obviously this woman is the reason why.

Should I contact her and ask her if she has any insight?

I'm starting to think that she must have said something to upset him like this because he didn't seem that bothered when his ex was dating other people.

Oh

man.

It's like turbo loser behavior.

Turbo loser.

I'm sorry dude.

That's kidding.

That's crazy.

So he's 25.

He broke up when he was 17.

She's 24.

I think it, I think she's about two different ages.

Okay.

No.

He's 24.

So seven years ago, they broke up.

Dude.

And she got engaged and he's crying multiple times times a week.

For two months.

For two months.

And when she says, you should talk to a therapist, he says, I don't believe in therapy.

Now, you can pick one of those reasons to break up, but

she's...

It's either she's a...

Like,

I guess I, I don't know.

My head's going a million places like as I'm piecing this together.

And I'm like, you know, your emotions you can't control, but like, there's a lot you can.

But also, if you're feeling that much emotion over this and you're clocking that your partner's feeling that much emotion over it, it's like, hey, this is very serious.

Yeah.

I mean, it goes back to like, you can't

like regulate someone's emotional response to something and be like, you need to calm down or something, especially if it's.

But it also is like.

there is a little bit of like, is this a trigger?

Is this bigger than what this is?

Like, this is bigger.

Like, is the ghost in the room with us now?

You know what I mean?

Like, like, this is tapping into something that's a bigger problem under the hood.

And there's other hints she's sewn out here.

Like, yeah, she's beautiful, and he's always talked about her as if she had all of life's answers.

All the answers, yeah.

Like, hey, man, that's this, this is a lot of red flags here.

Yeah.

I think they've been together around three years.

He cut off contact with his ex around two years ago.

She cut off contact with him.

So he's saying he had no self-respect.

He's in regular contact with his ex for a year while they were dating.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This is a whole lot.

Comments: no, don't contact her.

Her job is finished.

If her ex still has problems with their relationship, that's his issue.

Now you, Missy, do not play Miss Fix It here.

You can't fix the fact that your boyfriend is actually still in love with another woman.

You can be the most perfect woman on earth, but while he still has her as his dream woman, you don't have a shit show.

Honestly, and as hard as this may be, I'd talk to him about it again.

And then if there is no resolution, I'd consider moving on.

You deserve someone who thinks you are the best woman on earth, not some distant ex from his high school years.

OP left a long response saying, thank you for your reply.

I was insecure about my boyfriend's relationship with his ex from the start.

They didn't talk that often, but they'd catch up once every few months through Skype or something.

She lives on the East Coast, and when Hurricane Sandy hit, he called her, texted her, and messaged her on Skype despite her having cut off contact with him prior to that.

I didn't even know that he still had her phone number.

Is this relationship hopeless?

I knew that he still had a bit of a thing for her, but I didn't know the extent of it until now.

If he can't move on after all this time, I don't understand why he got into a relationship with me.

Yeah, no, this is, it seems like a pretty clear-cut case of him having a relationship during his formative years that ending him wanting it back and not being over it, and then being with someone else because he needs to feel validated, but not having let go of it.

And yep.

This doesn't also necessarily mean he's still in love with her.

It could just be that like he did not process losing her, especially like, honestly i'm glad we went back and did the math on the age thing because there is something about your first like when you're 17 or something like your first love and it's sticking like i don't know i've had i've had people i've dated like get engaged but i did see the guy i my first ever boyfriend get engaged and i remember just being like why did that bring me back to when i was like like young because it brings you back to that age and then you're like no i'm in my 30s i'm an adult I don't know this person anymore.

But it brings you like back to like early college or something or high school when you like romanticize that stuff.

That's why it's not like, I'm not knocking the guy for the emotions he's feeling.

No, you're not.

But it's like, but he's also refusing to talk to her.

And that's the bigger problem.

We're knocking like the dissociation of it, like the denial, the like not being honest with himself and his partner.

Because if he's not communicating to her, she has to then deal with the mystery of where it's coming from.

Because it might be coming from somewhere like that.

Where it's like, it's like, oh, no, it's more of a personal identity thing.

Or Or it's like not reckoning with my past as opposed to I'm not over my ex.

Now all points, all, now all signs right now are pointing to he's not over his ex, to me at least.

No, it is.

It is.

I was just saying that like the fact that it's coming out at random times.

Yeah.

Like

this could be so many things.

And what sucks is he's not at the wheel here.

He's like, he's not really like.

dealing with it.

Yeah.

Right.

Also, OP did mention that she pursued him.

He did not pursue her.

She pursued him.

So maybe he wasn't, he clearly wasn't ready.

Other comments.

Not to knock high school relationships, but this guy was 15 and they only dated for two years.

It's been, what, six years since they broke up?

I think your boyfriend just doesn't have that much experience to realize that that relationship wasn't as profound or meaningful as he believes it to be.

Apparently, he's been putting her on this pedestal this entire time, which is not healthy.

Maybe he should see someone about this because it can definitely put a hold on his life.

I went through this same thing.

It took me a stupid amount of time to really get over my high school girlfriend.

And looking back now, I can't figure out why I had created this perfect love story in my head when it was nothing of the sort.

That's really interesting.

So yeah,

I didn't have to deal with that because I didn't date anyone until I was in my 20s.

So

you know what?

Why don't you start being a huge fucking loser as a teenager?

Yeah.

That's true.

Try being obsessed with Shakespeare and going to church.

It worked for me.

Hey, why don't you play Final Fantasy, okay?

Yeah, dude, I had so many girlfriends, so I don't really relate to you guys.

And that's okay.

Sounds really hard.

Sounds hard to be able to do that.

Sounds hard to be

working with.

Yeah.

Okay, I'm dying to know what happened.

So this comment said, like, I haven't talked to someone, he's said he does not believe in therapy.

Last comment.

I would end it.

I realize that you've been dating for three years, but this kind of reaction is off the scale.

It's pathetic, and it's completely disrespectful to you.

I can't see how you can move past it.

Had she died, then of course one could understand this.

But if he's this brokenhearted over some girl he dated in his fucking teens, they broke up seven years ago for fuck's sake, then you should not be in a relationship with him.

I guess it's six years ago, but he was talking to his ex until two years ago when she cut off contact.

So he clearly like maintained a relationship of some sort and was not allowing that space to happen.

Yeah, this is this is full of landmines here.

Yeah.

Update.

Yeah.

What do we think the plot twist is?

Because we got a plot twist.

So right now it's just like, oh, he's not over his ex.

That's the obvious answer.

Was he dating his ex off and on?

Like, what was that?

But she's now married.

So I don't.

What's the worst thing that could happen?

That's what my brain is like, okay, if this is a plot, if we're talking like crazy plot twists, what's the craziest thing that could happen?

I'm worried.

that he's obsessed with his ex and she's going to find a bunch of evidence that he is like

not over not over her emotionally but he's also like

maybe just really like putting in a lot of work keeping tabs on her and like trying yeah

trying to contact her like she's already like i didn't know he still had her number like he tried to contact her a bunch after she'd already cut him off

which is a huge red flag or maybe he's yeah maybe he stalks her that's i mean

truly already she's like i'm cutting you out of my life and he's still trying to contact her and you're on facebook in the middle of the night first of all oh 2014 Facebook.

Because I was like, first of all,

come on.

But, like, this is someone who cut you out of your life, and he is literally searching her up and everything.

It's, I don't know, I don't know where this is going.

Yeah.

My crazy prediction for the craziest plot twist: he, she's engaged.

He finds out she's engaged.

He goes to the wedding to try and break it up.

That's what, that's what I, that's the crazy plot twist I want.

Okay.

Or plot twist.

They are in love.

She ends up with...

And he was crying because it's real love.

Dude.

And it sucks.

And he was an asshole along the way, but he's in love with that girl.

And that girl is in love with him.

Dude.

That would suck.

That's crazy.

That would really suck, dude.

Dude, that would sit with me for a while.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

The update.

Yeah.

First sentence.

It's over, I think.

Okay, good.

I called my dad and asked him to help me move back home.

These last two days days have been really emotional.

My boyfriend was gone all day yesterday.

He was gone when I woke up.

That's fine.

I assumed he went to work early, but he still wasn't home when I went to bed.

I texted him once when I woke up to say good morning and twice at night, one asking if he was coming home for dinner and another asking if he was alright.

I also tried calling his cell, but he didn't pick up.

I thought that I deserved some answers, so I decided to snoop, something that I've done once before when I was feeling insecure about his relationship with his ex.

Well, on his laptop, hidden in a bunch of subfolders, was an MS document with his ex's name.

MS document?

Microsoft document.

Loser.

F ⁇ ing nerd.

Cut that, cut that.

Okay, Microsoft.

I read it, and I'm assuming that he just saved the last conversation that he had with her right before she cut contact with him.

It started out normally, but then he asked how her relationship with her now fiancé boyfriend was going.

She said that it was good and that she was happy.

And then it got weird because he said something like, really?

Are you sure?

She said yes and said that was a weird question.

And he said, I don't know.

I don't believe that you're that happy.

I don't remember everything exactly because my head was spinning, but he basically told her that her fiancé, then boyfriend, will never treat her as well as he did and that they've known each other X number of years and managed to stay friends after their breakup, that they've helped each other grow as people and that she should really give him another chance.

He said that he's waited for her all these years and that he loves her and always believed they'd wind up together.

This was all while he was with me.

She called him an asshole and told him that he had a lot of balls to say that to her when she told him a long time ago that they're only ever going to be friends and that he's an even bigger asshole for doing this while they were both in relationships.

She told him to go to hell and to break up with me for my sake because I deserve better.

That's not even the worst part.

No.

My boyfriend woke me up this morning by calling my cell and telling me to come to the kitchen.

He said that he made breakfast.

So I went to the kitchen getting ready for a fight.

He and I never fight, but I am so goddamned hurt.

And he made what honestly looked like an amazing breakfast with a ring box in the middle of the table.

Get your pancake out.

Get your pancakes out.

He told me to open it.

I did.

He said something like, these last three years with me has been an adventure and he hopes.

Ah, what an adventure.

He hopes to keep making new adventures with me.

I guess around this time I snapped out of whatever haze I'd been in and I exploded.

I demanded to know where he was all day yesterday, why he wouldn't contact me, why he's been crying over his ex for the last three months, everything.

He got mad at me for being mad.

He told me that I should be happy because he was proposing, and wasn't that what I wanted?

I asked him why when it's so obvious that he'd rather be with his ex.

He told me that she's obviously moved on, so it's time for him to move on too.

That's how everyone wants to be proposed to.

Yeah.

Look, dude, I swear, yesterday, I finally got over my ex.

And let's get married.

I've never been so angry in my life.

I've been so incredibly patient with this man and done my best to be understanding of his situation.

I've literally given him all that I had, but I'm not going to get married to him just to be his consolation prize.

It's so ironic because had he proposed four plus months earlier, I would have been ecstatic.

Now it just broke our relationship.

So yeah, I called my dad crying and he's on his way to help me move back in with him and my mom.

That's it.

I'm a wreck, but I think it's just because everything wrong and twisted in this relationship is hitting me, and it took so long for me to understand.

And my ex is just sitting on the couch with his laptop.

Thank you guys so much for helping me see how unfair this whole relationship was.

I read every one of your comments, even if I didn't get a chance to respond to them all.

Oh,

oh, my God.

Oh.

That blows.

Honestly, though, thank God it did end with her getting out of the relationship.

Yeah.

Like that is so,

so hot.

There's like a wire that's connected to a different wire for this guy or something because it's like, oh no, I got caught.

Go double down and buy a ring.

Like it's like.

Yeah.

And while I agree that I think therapy doesn't work.

No, I'm kidding.

I'm kidding.

No, this guy, like, he needs, he needs like, he needs bi-weekly, semi-weekly.

He needs the twice-a-week therapy.

Yeah.

This is wild to, like, just double down and just, and go the other way.

And I bet he was so like affected by seeing her truly move on.

Also, it bugs me when, like, you in these stories, you hear someone finally understand a woman's moved on when there's a ring on her finger.

That doesn't mean she doesn't belong to you anymore.

You know what I mean?

Like, like, like, buddy, she was clearly moved on when she fucking cut you out out of your life.

Yeah.

Like, oh, now she's really off the table.

Oh, my God.

Because her dowry is now spent.

Like, it's like

something made him go, oh, now she's really not available to me.

So let me lock down this one here.

He has no respect for women because, I mean, he's talking to this ex being like, no, I'm right for you.

And she's being like, no, I'm telling you flat out this.

And he's going, no,

not it.

Okay, here's my question.

But then he's also disrespecting his current partner so damn much.

And I mean, this is like often the most infuriating part of like cheating is the cheating itself, but it's the insult to your intelligence.

And it's like, he comes back with a ring and he's just like, yeah, and it's going to be all right.

He truly believed that was going to work.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, here's my question.

You're the girl who's engaged, booked, and blessed, okay?

Yeah.

And you're seeing him text you this stuff or DM you this stuff or Facebook message you this stuff and you see he's clearly like social media like connected to this.

He's still dating somebody.

Do you slide into her DMs and tell her?

I think I do, especially after reading all of these,

I do think if you have the opportunity to tell someone that they're being cheated on, you should take that opportunity.

I think I do.

It's hard.

And look, there's so many stories where like it blows back at you.

Like the

previous one we just read.

But like, it's hard to just, especially having, I've I've been cheated on.

And it's like, it sucks.

It's just like, but like,

if you know, if you have definitive proof,

it's just like, dude, like,

give it to them because they might get mad at you.

They might deny it.

But, like, they're internally, they're going to know now.

Yeah.

And you could save them a lot of years.

She was going to get married to him.

It's like, man, like, I'll get you out of this hole before you dig it further.

100%.

I think the ex was probably honestly a little like worried about this guy.

Like she cut him, she cut him out of her life because I think she was probably starting to get like, hey, you're, you are not letting this go.

I do not feel safe talking.

It's a little parasocial almost where he's like acted like these seven years they've been together or something.

And she's like, no, I'm engaged to someone else and this shouldn't rock you to your core because we haven't been together in seven years.

Yeah.

And he's like, the way he said, he was like, I believe, like, I truly believe that we would.

end up together.

It's like, if that was your belief, then why are you in another relationship?

Like, what is the purpose?

Like, if you really had that belief in your heart, are you just doing it for fun?

Like, it's, it's obvious that he has a lot of issues.

I can't imagine.

I know this happens to so many people.

I can't imagine the mindset that he knows deep down that he's not over his ex

before and still, and he's going to propose and get married to this person.

I'm like,

you want to do that?

Like, I don't understand that mindset.

I don't understand the mindset of proposing to someone when you're not like, this is for sure

what I want out of life.

He is so clearly communicating to OP that he's settling with her.

Like, I mean, it's, it's blatant.

This is, these are the moves of an untherapized person, right?

Like, it is, there is no emotional intelligence to any decision he's making.

This is me jumping, but I almost think if he did go back, if that girl, his old love or whatever, did like give him space, I almost think he's idealizing her so much that he won't even he doesn't even like women are just like kind of placeholders a little bit and there's like a bigger issue yeah and that it wouldn't even like he'd be let down and he'd be like oh my god you're not everything i built you up to be oh absolutely i feel like he just disappeared for a day to go like i don't know walk around a park and like consider his options and be like god it really doesn't seem like she's engaged like maybe I should go get a ring and lock this down before she realizes.

He's like, I feel like there had to have been some like self-reflection.

Like, i've been crying over her i need to i need to propose right now because she'll say yes and then like yeah i'll have this locked down like he's settling for that he so clearly had no respect for his girlfriend like at all and she realized that and it's that's that's that's so infuriating but like i'm so glad she has self-respect for herself and yeah Our producers threw out an interesting of like, what if he's trying to get engaged to make his ex jealous?

To be like, oh, I'm over you.

Oh, God, that that could be so.

That actually makes a lot of sense.

Yeah.

I mean, we don't know, but it makes a lot of sense.

Oh, that's that's crazy.

Oh, I actually think that might be it.

That's sad.

Unfortunately.

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Might be.

Yeah.

It's probably the first time you ever made a breakfast.

It probably is.

Probably had to google how to make an egg.

Okay, our next story comes from Am I Overreacting?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Am I Overreacting?

I went on a date and saw my wife calling on his car, Bluetooth.

Ooh.

Ooh.

Ooh.

Ooh.

I, a 28-year-old woman, went on a date with a guy who's 30.

We met up, ate breakfast, and hit the road because it's a long drive.

Everything was going well.

We were listening to music and just vibing, and then he got a phone call.

He was driving, so his phone was connected to Bluetooth, and I could see who was calling.

The caller ID said, my wife and my stomach dropped.

We have been dating talking for seven months and nothing he did gave any signs of him being married.

He didn't pick up and let it go to voicemail.

My mood instantly shifts and he asks what's wrong.

I told him I saw who called and that he needed to call them back immediately.

He was going on about how it was his brother and I called BS because I saw clear as day that it said my wife.

He goes on his phone and shows me his recent calls and it says big bro at the time the call came through.

The thing is that when the call came through initially and he let it go to voicemail I was staring at it in disbelief and then I looked away because I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

It's possible that he changed the contact name really quickly.

I told him again to call the number and he doesn't show me but he does call someone and I can hear a male voice on the line.

He hangs up and insists he doesn't have a wife and he doesn't know how that happened, etc.

We get to our destination and I try to put it past me, but I can't let it go.

If he had refused to show me his phone at all, I would have ubered home.

We end up leaving earlier than planned, and he keeps trying to explain himself, but I can't forget the image of my wife calling.

I told him I needed some space to think about what happened.

Am I overreacting, or is this a messed up prank?

Oh

man.

Whoa.

This is so...

Oh, man.

I would be messed up.

I would be so messed up if I saw that and it's just like, no, take a look.

And I saw brother.

i'd be like i'm losing yeah

now

my brain immediately goes to he switched the contact name really quickly

yeah that i mean the the simple solution is to like if the big brother is at the top of the call click that and call us back can i see the text with and he didn't he said i think he i think they explained he calls but he she didn't see yeah yeah oh yeah because I think if I'm in that position and he's proving himself to me, then I'm going to be as lawyered up as I want and be be like, show it all to me.

Let's end this right now.

Don't just show me one thing.

Let's go through it all.

Let's go through things.

Let's just do it and then we'll be done.

Yeah, they've been dating for seven months.

And it is, because if he doesn't have anything to hide, if it truly is like a joke or whatever, like if it is some weird bug in like the car Bluetooth, it's very simple.

Just be like, oh, I call it and it's his brother.

But he didn't do that.

So then it's like, yeah,

why didn't you?

He is truly like

trying to completely like alter reality here.

Comments, why and how would it be a prank?

Have you been to his house out with his friends?

Some people do put sarcastic nicknames for certain people in their contacts, but switching up the contact name would have most likely taken some effort that you would have noticed if you were still sitting next to him.

You are right to take some time to yourself.

Trust your gut.

Someone else said, I will add to this.

As a married man, I have never saved my wife's contact as my wife.

Yeah.

My married friends don't either.

It's either her name or a pet name.

Or a wife.

Or wife.

Yeah.

My wife.

My wife feels like a borad thing.

Yeah.

I'm not saying it's not possible, just very odd.

Lastly, someone said, could it be that he had a missed call from Big Bro just before he picked you up and he erased that call from the log?

Oh,

yeah, I'm up there too.

Yeah, like he didn't change the contact.

The call goes to voicemail.

He opens recent calls, deletes that call.

Yeah.

I didn't think about that.

That's probably easier to do really quickly.

And then calls his brother and goes, here's my brother.

Yeah.

I mean, I got a few suspicious contacts in my phone that are just my friends.

Sure.

Like, it's just my buddy Nick, you know?

Yeah.

But everyone in my phone is first name, their name, second name, how I know them.

So you're Shane Smosh.

You're Trevor Smosh.

Dude, that's

awesome.

Dude, you're Angela Smosh.

I am.

I do that.

I do that.

Because there's just a lot of people here, and I'm like, I need to clarify that this is the person.

Yeah, if I'm cheating.

It doesn't help that we have a lot of people with the same names even here.

For sure.

Like, if I'm cheating on someone, I'm going to go real wife, secret girlfriend.

Right.

Like, I'm going to say.

Yeah.

Like, I'm going to be specific.

Exactly.

Like, my wife, devil eyes, or like, my wife, two,

my wife, three.

No, it's not great when I'm driving my plug DC's better plug on my thing.

I'm like, hey, look, don't worry about it, man.

Just kidding.

I don't do drugs.

Wife's boyfriend.

Wife's boyfriend.

Imagine if she saw that wife's boyfriend.

My wife's boyfriend.

She's like, hold on.

Several layers.

Is the deal still on?

No, that's my wife's boyfriend, who's my plug.

Don't worry about it.

Okay.

Update.

Oh, God.

So the simple, the most simple plot twist is that he manipulated his phone, is gaslighting her.

There could be other possibilities.

Maybe they did go into a new reality.

Maybe when they were driving, when he got the call from my wife, they were in another dimension and they traveled in their long distance traveling.

They drove through some sort of wormhole and they went to a new dimension where that's just his big brother and he's not cheating on her.

Yes.

Or

she was overreacting so much

that it that it altered her judgment.

Okay.

I think maybe just every wife was like brother.

Maybe this is her fault and everything in the world is her fault.

And that seems like what a lot of commenters will say, but I'm here for the truth.

Stay with me here.

Stay with me.

This guy has a friend.

At one point he was driving with this friend and his friend connected his phone to Bluetooth to play music.

They happened to pass each other driving opposite ways at the exact time that his friend got a call call from his wife who he has in his phone as my wife and it auto-connected to his car's Bluetooth and that showed up and the call was actually not even in the car.

Okay, I have another one.

Okay, let's go.

Let's run.

Him and his buddies, his bros.

Actually, no, this doesn't even...

Him and his buddies, his bros, they're out in an arcade and they're asking for a certain amount of coins so they could play a game.

And the man goes, are these for your wife?

And he goes, no, it's my my brother.

And I go, it's so funny, man.

You being my wife.

I'm going to put me in your phone as my wife.

I like that.

That's good.

I like the arcade setting.

Yeah.

Okay, that was a little Easter egg for you guys.

And that's going to stick with me.

Because I know you love games.

Okay, so let's see it.

All right, here we go.

Let's hear it.

After my post, I listened to my gut and took a step back.

I told my ex question mark that I couldn't look at him the same after that trip and needed space.

He kept reaching out with long messages declaring his love but never actually explained how the my wife mix-up happened.

I took Reddit's advice and did some digging.

He's not on social media but I found him on True People Search.

Turns out he really isn't married, which I already suspected.

I've dated enough to know when someone's hiding something big and this didn't feel like that.

So I called and asked for the truth.

He put Big Bro on the phone who tried to claim the car had somehow saved his contacts and that's why I saw my wife calling.

Total bullshit.

When I called it out, Big Bro left left the call and I got into another argument with my ex.

I told him I was done and thought that was it.

Wrong.

He kept sending long messages asking to see me and would keep calling, which I ignored until he finally said he'd tell me the truth.

At that point, that's all I wanted because I knew what I saw and felt like I was being gaslit.

So I called.

Y'all, it was a test.

There's no wife, no girlfriend, no significant other.

He admitted to making it up because I had already been pulling away before all this and he wanted to see if I really cared.

He was crying saying he didn't mean for it to go this far.

Honestly, at this point I felt relieved.

I had started to doubt myself and I was right to trust my instincts, but that didn't change anything.

I ended things again.

And of course, he went right back to the long-winded messages, so I blocked him.

It's over, I'm done.

Moral of the story, always trust your gut.

To answer some questions, no, I've never been to his house because I only do that if I see something going somewhere.

Make of that what you will.

This isn't the first time he's tested me, so I already had doubts.

Yes, I've met Big Bro before, but we weren't close.

Turns out he was in on it the whole time.

No, this isn't fake.

Oh, so

I don't know what the test was.

The test!

The test was to just see if she cared.

So he felt her pulling away, so he made up a fictional wife to see if he could get her pulled in.

I don't understand.

Look, I don't,

people can date however they want.

They can go about relationships however they want.

She's, they're unofficial after seven months, but he's been testing her in these seven months too.

I'd be like, dude, you have the patience of a saint.

I would be, I'd be out.

Seven months, no, because she's literally writing X, like with a question mark.

She's like, we weren't actually...

boyfriend, girlfriend.

I cannot think of one instance, and maybe it's because I'm thinking really quickly and we're at the end of this shoot day, when testing your partner is good.

It's never worked out.

When you're like, let me set you up and then rate you based off of the results.

If you don't have trust to just have a conversation and trust that they're telling you the truth,

then I don't know where you go from there.

Like testing is just never going to work.

It establishes you don't have trust for that person.

And as we've learned from so many Reddit stories, people who test their partners, they're never satisfied.

Yes.

They always have to then test them again.

But also, that's such a weird power dynamic.

That's like manipulation.

That's totally.

There's nothing healthy about being like, let me test you.

I don't know.

I feel like the fake wife who's actually my brother playing was pretty airtight.

I'm surprised it didn't work out.

I'm really surprised it didn't work out.

Yeah, you know, I was going to say, you know what?

I'm glad you said that.

I agree.

I'm going to change your name to wife in my phone.

And then you're going to call.

And then we gotta lock the door.

That was cringe.

The guy I'm dating, Charlie, from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

That is such a weird way to ask if everything's okay.

It's so clearly just like a matter of him being like, hey, we've been dating for seven months.

And I know we haven't really like decided, like, this is serious.

And I'm just curious, like, where it's going.

Like, I'd love to know, like, your thoughts.

Yeah.

Like, how, how simple, like, is that not just

the easiest easiest thing to do?

You can't do that, man.

You got to test them.

It's so insane.

That's the test.

The test is just asking them, hey, are you like into this?

Yeah.

Like,

I want to be closer to you, so I'm going to actually put more shit in between us.

Like, what do you

what are you talking about?

Wow.

I got a Scott laugh.

All right.

We're going to move on to our last story, which I know is going to sound shocking.

That's our last story, but this one is a doozy.

This is going to be a ride.

He said it's a doozy.

Copy.

Okay.

This comes from relationship advice.

I, a 27-year-old woman, made a stupid joke to my husband, who's 30, and he stormed off.

How do I fix this?

Hey, Reddit, I'm an Instagram snooper, so this is my first time here.

I honestly never expected to post here because my husband, who's 30, and I have a great relationship.

Of course, I can't say we haven't had our occasional bumps, but it's honestly a dream come true all the way through.

Our wedding was April 2021, and we both cried like babies that day.

And since then, the sailing has been smoother than soap.

It's 2022 as of posting this, so it's November of 2022, so they've been married for about a year and a half now.

This afternoon, he and I came home after a little lunch outing with our newly engaged friends, Kai and Marie.

It went great, but was like just another outing, nothing special, though we got some bomb pasta back home, which I'm currently shoveling into my gob since it's too chilly for ice cream.

We live in a super tiny apartment, and so he showered first while I got the leftovers into the fridge and stuff.

I went in after him, finished my shower, and put some lotion on my palm.

I accidentally squeezed too much and dabbed some of it away.

After I rubbed it on my face, I still had some of the leftover on my finger, and I did exactly what any perfectly sane person would do.

On my thumb, I whipped up a little smiley face and some spiky hair to create lotion man.

I came out of the bathroom, giggling about it, and said something along the lines of, hey look, it's lotion man.

He didn't really react.

He just looked at my hand and blinked at me.

I honestly was just goofing around and started making a silly voice and saying some random shit sprinkled with some inside jokes.

I was blabbing for about a minute before he just up and left.

I was, of course, completely oblivious as he grabbed some of his shit, and I just was smiling and asking where he was going in a kind of playful way.

He has a huge truck, and we'd just returned from a trip, so he has enough stuff to last him weeks.

So it didn't really dawn on me that he was leaving, leaving, until he drove away.

Honestly, feel like Boo-Boo the fool for making such a stupid joke and then letting him leave just like that you guys know boo-boo the fool

yeah

oh boo-boo the fool is the jester in the chair did not know that thank you for having that knowledge

boo-boo the fool is a jester in a chair

Plot twist, Boo Boo the Fool is a jester in a chair.

Okay, so she shows him lotion man.

Goes, look, it's Lotion Man.

And he leaves and and like fully leaves.

Dude, here's the thing is I've done some bits so bad that Raven has walked out of the room.

So I get it.

Maybe she just bombed that bad.

I texted him a few times and he's just said that he's thinking about things and that he's at his brother Tyler's place.

I've been texting him non-stop, but he hasn't been responding or even reading any of it.

He also sleeps really early, so I doubt I can get in contact with him anytime soon.

His brother isn't responsive either, so I'm just leaving my phone on the nightstand and holding my breath.

I don't think it's really dawned on me yet.

I stared blankly at the door for like 10 minutes before I got off my ass and actually tried contacting him.

I've been with this man for years and I'm always cracking cheesy jokes.

I feel stupid and like shit for making lotion man and continuing after no response instead of just shutting up and accepting that I'm unfunny.

At the same time, I'm just confused.

He's never been at this point even in our rougher patches.

The worst we've done is just take breaks from sex or just talk to one another.

a little less.

I wasn't planning on getting into my sex life, but honestly, I'm just rambling at this point.

I'm all for giving giving him space, but I can't say I'm not hurt.

He's just leaving.

And the process of divorce is just so, ugh, I don't even want to think about this anymore.

Was making Lotion Man as big of a mistake as I think it was?

Any advice on getting him back home?

Thanks, Reddit.

Also, any cute subreddit suggestions would be appreciated since it's my first time on Reddit and I want to distract myself.

Oh, dude.

Guys, this is Lotion Man.

Dude, that's Lotion Man.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

Comments here.

There is something big missing to this story because ain't no way it's over-the-soap thing.

Someone else said, I guess I'm missing something important.

What was it about the lotion man that he got mad enough to leave?

Someone said, that's a pretty extreme reaction, and it sounds like you didn't do anything wrong.

You should perhaps stop texting, see what he says tomorrow.

You need to find out why this caused this reaction, and he should be the one apologizing to you.

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I feel so bad

for Lotion Man.

Yeah.

For her and Lotion.

Okay.

Okay, so I'm thinking that he was feeling like

things weren't working out, but for him, for that to be what snapped it,

like that sucks so bad.

That's devastating.

For someone to have, I don't know,

I don't think I would do a lotion man-like joke, but I do think anything, nothing's off the table.

So for someone to use a moment of failure, like lotion man and use that to be like, I'm leaving you, is the worst thing to hear.

Yeah, I've made jokes far worse than lotion man, just like bad, not like bad, but like they're just not good.

Yeah, and God, yeah, that would be devastating if I just told a really bad throwaway joke and it was like, Well, that's it, you're done.

Like, what?

Yeah, and this is it's loaded for us because, like, sometimes I feel like our ability to make jokes kind of is your employment.

And

like,

what if you did a TNTL bit and then you just saw like somebody in the back go,

and it was so bad.

Like I do queen of mold.

And then I see someone come back here and they go,

and then you walk in the back and they're like, it's not going to work.

Oh no.

That would be, I would never.

That's what this feels like to me.

I would never tell a joke again.

I would never.

She's probably so,

so rocked to her core.

I think what we're not considering is what if Lotion Man killed his father when he was a child?

What if Lotion lotion man is like you know he's like hey you know my history with you're so fucking right what if lotion man

that that image specifically looks a lot like her ex who she's not over uh her ex her ex lotion man what if

her ex lotion and he's like yeah no no if you had something

mine wasn't good no go okay it's just a safe space no one no one will leave you if what you're about to say is back

now i was gonna say what if what if lotion man she left out that she used lotion Man to tell him that she'd been cheating on him?

And it was like, she just left that part out of the story.

She's like, oh, yeah, I actually, well, I used Lotion Man as a little puppet.

Well, she's like, I didn't say that, Lotion Man said.

Lotion Man said it.

I can't, I'm so, I have no clue what the plot twist could be.

I hope, I really hope it's not that he wasn't being honest for a long time and was, and was hiding the fact that he wasn't into this and then used that moment and really just slapped her in the face when she was giggling.

You know what I mean?

Like, I really hope this has a cool plot twist and not a heartbreaking one.

Yeah.

I hope so too.

Let's find out.

Because we have an update.

Hey, Reddit, again.

I posted here earlier about how my husband left after I told him a dumb joke.

You can find it here.

I followed the advice I got and kept my distance.

You all had me really pondering about how much of my relationship was the butterflies and kittens I thought it was.

I still firmly believe that everything was absolutely perfect before it happened, but oh well, I have my opinions.

So you guys are right about some some things and wrong about some things.

For those of you saying that the lotion thing had nothing to do with it, you were kind of wrong.

But for the people who said something happened during the lunch outing, you were right on the money.

My husband came back the other day.

He apologized and said he was ready to talk to me.

I obliged.

I tried my best not to be all over him, but quite frankly, I missed this man so damn much.

He's my husband after all.

I think I figured out what it is.

What is it?

I think I figured it out.

I think I figured out what it is.

I think Lotion Man was so endearing and so cute that he had cheated on her and he was just like, I can't do this.

Like, this is such a sweet and precious moment.

Has to be a new one.

Wait, this is the smartest you've ever looked to me.

No, no, that's brilliant.

That's a brilliant analyzation.

That isn't bad.

That isn't a diss.

That's me going, that's brilliant.

I'm also sitting here wondering if I've read this story before and I don't remember it.

No, you'd remember Lotion.

Dude, that'd be funny.

I would remember Lotion Man.

We've had so many, dude, we've had so many many types of people on Reddit Star.

Like, she brings up Lotion Man.

Lotion Man is one of the catalog of people.

She goes, like, look at Lotion Man, and he's like, I've been stealing money from you for years.

You know what I mean?

Like, something dark.

And Lotion Man was like

the most innocent thing.

I think you're so right.

No, because that's what I think of what would break someone.

Like, if you cheat on like the person you love and then a moment of just pure sweetness, that would be the moment that you're just like, I can't believe I've done this.

Like, I've been cheating on you for 15 years.

Oh, I'm going to throw up.

So

that's my prediction.

My husband came back the other day.

He apologized and said he was ready to talk to me.

I obliged.

I tried my best not to be all over him, but quite frankly, I missed this man so damn much.

He's my husband, after all.

He told me the following.

I mentioned previously that we went out with our two newlywed friends, Kai and Marie.

Kai is a 30-year-old man.

Marie is a 29-year-old woman.

Does Kai look like Lotion, man?

We did have some quality time with all four of us, but often one or more people were missing from the table considering it was a fusion buffet and the food was amazing.

Apparently at some point my husband and Marie grabbed some food together or maybe before we left since I know I was talking to just Kai for a while before they appeared and we got into the car.

Whatever it was they were alone together.

Marie, the fiancée, told my husband that when Kai proposed, she realized she was in love with him, my husband.

But she accepted Kai's proposal and tried to put her feelings feelings to rest by organizing a lunch out.

Though apparently she was charmed or some bullshit because she asked him to run away with her or something.

I don't know.

But she wanted him to leave me and be with her.

Now, Marie is honestly gorgeous, which I hate to say because I'm so pissed off with her.

She's the typical blonde, blue-eyed, skinny pageant girl who looks kind of like Emma Watson.

I'm not.

My husband gently turned her down and wished her all the best, but he says he had her on his mind for a while.

We were all college friends, so we know one another very well.

And when I showed him Lotion Man, it all essentially exploded inside him.

I had a hair towel and some shitty old clothes on, and I was giggling over a stupid thing, and apparently my immaturity ticked him off.

He suddenly got cold feet about our relationship and left for his brother's place.

He eventually came back and said he loved me all over again.

I was frozen in shock and asked some questions before asking him to sleep on the couch at least for that night.

He did, and it didn't really help me sleep.

I can't believe that he was considering throwing away all of our relationship for a crush.

The more I think about it, the less I can look him in the eye.

We went to Thanksgiving lunch together with some of his family and some close friends, and we spent last night together, so I think he thinks he's in the clear.

I can't lie and say I'm not considering just forgiving and forgetting, though.

He comes home from work about six hours from now, and I don't know what to do next.

I have off today, I'm a teacher, and so I'm considering either one contacting Kai and telling him about what his fiancé is up to.

My husband begged me not to, as Marie was apparently making a spontaneous mistake.

Two, contacting Marie and shooing her out for trying to fuck up my relationship or having a civil conversation.

Less tempting, but it's whatever.

Three, contacting Tyler, his brother, and asking if he left the house at some point.

Tyler's house is very close to Marie's place, and I'm very worried about that, though I doubt I'll get anything out of him.

Four, all of the above, any advice or well wishes because I'm not in a great place right now would be appreciated.

Dude, that is

soul-crushing.

That is awful.

As someone who genuinely, like hearing the story like lotion man is some shit that I would do.

Like I can't, I can't.

Which way would you do that?

Like make a little lotion guy.

Oh, yeah, exactly.

That's what I'm saying.

I feel BS.

I thought you were saying the other day.

No, like I do so much dumb stuff like that.

Like I can't, it, I really do.

I can't overexaggerate the amount of terrible, dumb, stupid jokes that I make at home with Raven.

And if I made a dumb joke like that that I thought was like, ah, that's so funny, like silly, stupid, and she, and that was how she responded, I would never, that's like, I would never joke again.

Like that would genuinely crush my soul.

What a

bad, bad time for him to hurt her feelings.

It's just like, dude, you, you got up and left out of nowhere with no explanation and you left for a while,

right?

And you come back and this is your explanation.

Like this is your wife.

Like this,

this is someone, you're breaking all the trust here.

I mean, it's like we talk about it all the time, where it's like, no matter what, people have to take care of themselves in a relationship.

You do have to like

go with you.

You can't be with someone if you're not happy, right?

But the way you go about telling your partner or not telling them or the way you communicate is what makes you a good person or a bad person.

You know what I mean?

I mean, that's what makes, like you falling out of love with someone, that doesn't make you like immediately the asshole.

The way you did that, like if you had the like care and like just forefront of thought to be like, let me think about this.

How can I communicate this?

How can I be responsible for my wife in this time when this is like really messy?

Yeah, because this is, it's, it's the classic thing of like.

That I say all the time of like the the love aspect is one thing.

It's the respect thing.

Yeah.

He's disrespecting.

That's what I meant to say.

Thank you.

So much.

He's disrespecting her nonstop here because yeah, your feelings, love, it's, it's, that can be a roller coaster for people.

Yeah, but you respect is a choice.

And he made a lot of choices here that were very disrespectful to her.

We now go back to what we were talking about earlier.

If she knows that Marie confessed her love for her husband, and here's Kai over here that she's talking to.

Mid buffet is weird.

Yeah.

Mid buffet is crazy.

Confessing your love at a buffet?

But like mid-buffet, like when you get up, like I was just at a buffet for Easter brunch with my family.

And it's always like, it's always like someone's like guarding the boat a little and you're like you go out.

Yeah, well I'll stay here.

I'll stay at the table.

And then someone comes back and then you kind of all eat at different shifts and people go back for seconds to be like, let's go.

to the salad bar.

Yeah.

I'm obsessed with you.

I'm in love with you and then go back.

Like like mid picking up a lobster roll, putting it on your plate.

Like

I've been in love with you all these years.

Grab some jello.

Did you want some of this, by the way?

I'm in love with you.

Let's keep this conversation maybe a minute tops and let's hit back.

Like what?

It's...

Fuck.

Yeah, no, that's...

And it is.

It's so disrespectful.

Like, that is not the way that you handle, like, just leaving

and not saying a word is so awful.

Like, if you are having those thoughts, like, take a second to process and be like, hey, I want to sit down with you and tell you like the thing that happened at lunch.

Or like, if you're not even ready to talk about that specific part, just not, never leaving your partner high and dry without any explanation and quite literally abandoning your person.

Yeah, and it's like you, you abandoned her is already a lot.

Yeah.

You come back and you go, the reason I abandoned you is because this person confessed their love for me and I was thinking about it.

It's like, okay, we're done.

Yeah.

It's like when you fight or flight, that instinct to leave her when there's some issues that you're going to be able to do.

Like, oh, so that's where you were leaning.

You were leaning towards that.

Yeah.

Now I'm supposed to feel confident in us forever.

Yeah.

And I totally understand like if there's a moment where you like have a lot of emotions, like I totally get needing to be alone.

Yes.

No, I get that too.

You just needing to like take a look at.

But you need to tell.

Yeah.

You tell them that before you disappear.

Yeah, 100%.

It's like just send them a text.

Like literally, even if you walked out and sent a text and was like, hey, I have some things going on like mentally right now.

I just need to sit for a second and we can talk.

Like, don't stress too much.

Like, I just need to sit.

Like, that's great.

That's fine.

Like, but yeah, to just walk out, get in your truck, drive, no explanation, and yeah, then just come back and be like, God, yeah, well, I was thinking about someone else that said that they loved me is.

The worst thing that you can do to a person after they show you lotion man.

Update number two.

Regardless of what happens in this next plot twist, the friend group is dead.

We're not going to fusion buffets anymore.

No.

No.

We're doing one-on-ones.

I don't know with who.

We're doing one-on-ones.

We're doing bi-weekly one-on-ones.

Yes.

Oh, God, I'm scared.

I don't know what can happen from here on out.

A lot of you had some really interesting theories, LOL, and surprisingly, most of them were somewhat right.

The majority ruled that I should do all three.

Confront Kai, Marie, husband, and Tyler.

Not necessarily in that order, and so I had to get smart with it since a lot of you guys told me that any of them could twist the story had they known there was an outside influence.

Before I begin, yes, the full story is wacky and honestly doesn't make that much sense.

I'm honestly just piecing it together via context clues, and I do have some questions left unanswered.

When my husband came home, we had a conversation.

He essentially said the same story as before, and he told me he was open to my marriage counseling suggestion.

I gave him a big hug and did the laundry.

Usually we split the laundry, plus I had been giving him a light cold shoulder.

so I indirectly forgave him, in his eyes at least.

We haven't really set boundaries with our phones, like we know each other's passwords and everything, but he would definitely get suspicious if I was just scrolling around on it.

So instead I agreed to meet up with Kai first.

A lot of you guys were concerned that he would tell Marie and everything would implode, but Kai is a big gymnut and I've been wanting to go recently, so I said it as casually as possible, using it as an excuse.

He agreed.

The next morning, I met with Kai.

I sat down with him and told him all I know.

Yes, I cried like a baby.

Originally, Kai was rigid and tried to kindly poke holes in what I was saying with a few gotcha questions before he too broke down.

Marie didn't tell him a word.

That was a big red flag on its own.

I then went to Marie with Kai.

A few redditors told me to be as discreet as possible and so, as a suggestion, said, I just blurted to her that I know everything.

She played dumb at first and then eventually broke.

You all were right.

Marie trying to settle her crush was a bullshit story.

My husband was the one who approached her.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

There it is.

She told me that he asked her before she sealed it with Kai if she wanted to have a night with him and another woman.

Here's the kicker.

Marie said yes.

And she's a laugh too.

No, I'm kidding.

Oh, no.

So he.

He casually pitched a threesome while on a buffet date, double date.

And

he was at the lamp chop section of the buffet.

And he said, fuck me and two other women that are not here with us at the buffet.

But wait.

I hate to say it, but that's not all.

Apparently, Marie has been cheating on Kai for a while with men and women.

And my husband has also been cheating frequently.

They covered for each other and occasionally met up.

Oh, the friend group is destroyed.

Guys, I don't know if this friend group's gonna make it.

Yeah, the band is breaking up.

At the last moment, she declined because she wanted to be loyal to Kai now that they were engaged, as if she wasn't cheating for the majority of the relationship.

And my husband got all pissed off for a while before saying he's just locked up in his apartment now.

Hume showing him Lotion Man.

He snaps and gets out of there.

Kai and Marie are both arguing, in tears, and red at the face.

I told them, sorry that I butted into their relationship and that I'll handle my husband myself.

She's like,

see you later.

I can't get over this man like having all these like crazy threesomes and then his wife doesn't look at shit man.

She's like, hey, threesome, you me?

Lotion man.

No, he sees that and he's like, my God.

I found Tyler before the sunset.

He told me, yes, his brother stopped by, but only around 11 p.m.

He left at around 8.

So those three hours went fuck all.

Tyler told me that he was angry and didn't tell him anything.

I then tell him some contacts, just the lotion man, and he says that maybe he was driving around for a while.

It doesn't sound like my husband to drive his relief, but I'm willing to look into it since the future was already looking pretty fucking bleak.

I went home, I googled something on my husband's phone.

Instead, I was just checking if any of them had contacted him.

Nothing, thankfully.

I would have gone into more depth, but that would have to wait.

Instead, I tried to keep him busy for the duration of the day.

Remember how I said he goes to sleep really early?

Well, that worked in my favor.

Took his phone that night while he was snoring his ass off, ran into a million dead ends.

I knew I was missing something, but I just couldn't find it.

Finally, I opened his hidden photos.

Kaboom, his story explodes to pieces.

What did I find?

Nudes.

Nudes, more nudes.

Even more nudes.

All of one girl.

Not me, shocker, but not Marie either.

I don't recognize her.

Let's call her Allison.

She's absolutely gorgeous.

Red hair, hourglass figure, you name it.

I'm obviously broken.

I traced her back to a contact.

I feel sick.

There it is, an affair.

He's been contacting her since February, days before I surprised him with the Valentine's thing that I had been using up my paychecks for and thinking I was the luckiest woman alive.

It fucking sucks.

I can't even read more, but I toughed through it.

Then I found it.

November 3rd, two days after the last nude.

She's pissed off.

She found out he was married all along.

She was in love with him.

I would feel bad for her, but she didn't even bother trying trying to contact me out of love.

Hubby has a genius idea.

He told Allison that he'll bring his wife over to a hotel to show that his wife doesn't care about the affair.

Sound familiar?

So I assume

when Marie canceled, there was nothing he could do.

He became whiny and begged her to come.

He told Allison that there was an inconvenience and they'd meet up another day.

Then, the lotion man.

He got pissed off at me and left.

I don't know what he did after that, but whatever it was, he wasn't with either of them.

Then he went to Tyler's place, slept it off, and came back afterward.

I'll spare you the details, but I couldn't even pretend to like him anymore after I found that out.

I brought Kai and Marie over the next morning.

He started fucking blubbering and tried to deny it all before eventually admitting he was into redheads.

Maria is actually strawberry blonde.

Allison is very ginger.

And it was the one desire of his I couldn't fulfill.

Even I could see past him.

I'm gonna have to.

You're gonna have to stop soon.

He's like, fine, you got me.

I'm into redheads.

He's like, I'm sorry.

It's just the last thing on my bucket list.

Even I couldn't see past his bullshit saying that he loved only me and that being with Allison slash Marie only made him love me more.

I just said, fuck it, and packed my stuff.

He got more desperate, but even I, the girl who was...

honestly infatuated with him, knew it was over.

He technically owns the apartment, so I had to leave.

Now I'm staying with Kai.

I feel for him too.

His wife was his world.

We were hugging and crying for a while, ranting about God knows what, just trying to get ourselves together, to be honest.

He tried to lighten the mood by making lunch and it was really nice.

He's a wonderful cook.

By making lotion.

By moving lotion, man.

I showed him the other two posts, and he got a kick out of some of your comments.

Haha.

As far as I know, my soon-to-be-ex-husband is with Marie for now.

I don't care about either of them, and honestly, it's kind of therapeutic just having some kind of closure and not walking on eggshells like I have been for the past few years.

few days.

Kai and I are going to the gym tomorrow to do some relaxing yoga and hopefully figure out what to do next.

We've both taken off from work.

I'm sorting out my finances and hopefully I should get the ball rolling to finally legally split from my husband and be able to call him my ex.

I'm still so, so frazzled.

I have at least half a dozen pictures of him and me on my desk and our wedding picture is my lock screen on pretty much all of my devices.

I know my students will notice his sudden disappearance from my life and I'll have to tell them that the guy I've been raving about for the past forever is divorcing me.

I'll have to tell all my family and friends, Kai is my rock in this whole thing and we'll eventually have to part ways, which hurts me because he's honestly my number one support system in all of this.

Living arrangements, actual divorce costs, law stuff, yuck.

Therapy, psy.

I still have to go through it all.

I can't believe I thought this relationship was perfect.

It's really therapeutic to just write this all down.

I'll be coming back for more advice someday, though.

Just now I've seen all, yes, all of your sweet words, and I'll continue lurking around for a long time.

But this should be my final update for now.

Thank you again, Reddit, from me and Kai.

Update number three, condensed for time, because we're running out of time here.

OP got a divorce and is now in a happy relationship.

Yay.

That is the final update.

So she did, she was able to

get out of that.

Thank God.

You know what's still one of the most interesting things to me about cheating is how cheaters oddly build up resentment for their partners.

Right?

It's so, it's such a weird thing.

That's such an obstacle in front of us.

It's such a weird like...

thing.

I've read some about it, but I still don't understand it, like where that that resentment comes from.

It's interesting.

So that's clearly what happened.

He just was mad at her.

No, I mean.

Polotion man.

When you're that deep in a psychosis that's telling yourself that what you're doing isn't wrong,

this person is annoying because they're in the way.

Like I think

you have to be kind of so deep in not logic to be upset with that person.

To sit there and tell

these people,

well, I'm into redheads.

Yeah.

And think

that you're gonna get through this

fine.

Yeah, that's the craziest response ever.

Of like the admission of guilt to for him to just be like, I'm into redheads.

Like, she's like, oh, it's beyond parody.

It's

no, so many levels of this is so disrespectful.

That is he like, he was, he planned a whole thing of, I'm gonna get Marie to come to pretend to be my wife.

It's like literally like Mrs.

Doubtfire like fuckboy edition or something.

Where he's like I'm gonna do both.

I'm gonna run between the restaurants and like

and get all the redhead pussy I want.

Fucking loser.

Jesus.

Sorry.

It's so sad too.

Love twists.

Oh,

I feel so bad for her, but I'm happy she like, it sounds like she took care of herself.

I'm happy she didn't have to do it alone.

She had Kai.

And you know, how does Lotion Man?

Where does he sit in the middle?

Where does he sit in all of them?

Honestly, where's is Lotion Woman?

I was going to say

I'm a little suspicious of Lotion Man.

Yeah.

I'll be honest.

Like, show us your phone, Lotion Man.

Yeah.

Hey.

If there's nothing to hide, let's just show your phone.

Open your phone.

Show us your phone.

Just open your phone.

If there's nothing I'll hide, I just want to talk to him.

Show us your phone, Lotion Man.

Dumbest joke ever said.

Next to Lotion Man.

Next to Lotion Man.

Thank you both for being here.

This was wild.

I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

I feel as if I screamed a little bit.

No.

No, no.

Pendula, what?

Yeah.

You screamed?

And we're sorry about that prank.

It's okay.

It really hurts.

It was a really good prank that we executed perfectly.

She's going to be not disappointed at all.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Nah,

whatsoever.

Literally coming in here like,

it's going to be so funny.

I actually like it for the Reddit listener.

That like for one episode at the top of the episode, you just hear people go, yeah, wow.

I couldn't imagine.

And they're like, this is a weird episode.

Oh, man.

Whatever Reddit stories.

Okay.

Thank you both for being here.

Thank you for watching.

And let us know what other themes and subreddits you'd like to see on the show.

And we will see you next Saturday.

Bye.

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