Liar Liar, Pants On Fire! | Reading Reddit Stories

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Hello and welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories.

I'm Shane and today's theme is liars.

And I'm joined by

one liar.

Yeah.

And one person who tells the truth.

Which one is it?

Amanda.

I'm a little lying girl.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Take off your baby ball.

I lie about it.

Could you imagine if it was a prank?

I actually was thinking about that.

I'm like, that would be awful.

Okay, to be clear, Arasha, you thought this was a prank.

You need to talk to Erin Dougal about this.

Like, once a week, I would be like, I'm not fucking falling for this shit.

And I know why.

It's because I showed her an ultrasound picture and they did have the wrong date on it, which I don't know why that happened.

And I fucking clocked it.

And she went, that's the wrong date.

And I went, oh, that's so weird.

It is.

Like.

So you thought Amanda would wear a fake baby bump every day for months, even in videos, just to fool you.

I pitched it first.

I was like, I will do that.

I would never in my life.

I'm not a prankster.

I just, it eats me up inside.

No,

it's hard.

Yeah.

It's hard.

But it's fun.

Are you retired?

I'm done now.

You're done lying.

I'm done.

Okay.

Never again.

Okay.

Before we begin, I want to point out, we are about one year after the famous story where we had both of you here and we talked about the guy who was paying his wife for sex.

And we lost our minds.

Christmas time.

We filmed that episode at like 6 p.m.

on a Friday after filming so many videos that week.

That was so Christmas.

And we were out of it.

No.

And it's Friday right now.

It is Friday.

And it's the last pit video.

I was

crying.

It was just so funny to me that it was Christmas and a little blowjob, and he would give her purses.

Not the little blowjob.

And he would give her purses.

Like, whoa.

All those stories made me cry.

They were funny.

That was a mess.

That was a mess.

And people who only saw the first half didn't even know where we went toward the end.

So they were like,

this was just a normal video.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Watch till the end, people.

Watch till the end okay let's get into the lies oh our first story comes from true off my chest

i've been hiding a huge secret from everyone in my life for the past three years iconic no oof all right what do we think this lie is three years they've been holding this they killed someone and they have a different name

amateur running from the law that'd be a big secret yours i feel like it has to be romantic based it definitely has to be like a person that they're hiding, someone that they've been seeing.

Where?

In their house.

Then you agree with me.

Yeah.

Oh, like they're cheating.

They're cheating.

Okay.

Okay, some good guesses.

Or like they're like not studying what they told their parents that they were.

Oh, you think it's a college thing?

That's a thing.

I think.

It's worse than that, though.

I pretended to graduate college.

I walked across the stage, wore the cap and gown, had the family celebration, took pictures holding a fake diploma cover, the whole thing, but I never actually finished my degree.

One semester before graduation, I just cracked.

I was burnt out, failing a couple of classes, and too ashamed to tell anyone.

So instead of facing it, I faked it.

I told my parents everything was on track.

I bought a cheap gown online, faked the graduation date, and made sure the ceremony wasn't open to guests due to limited capacity.

Since then, I've been working random jobs, telling people I'm between offers or exploring different fields.

It's a constant weight on me.

I've had panic attacks just thinking about someone finding out.

My parents still proudly mentioned that I'm the first in the family with a degree.

I hate lying to them.

I hate lying to everyone.

I've finally re-enrolled and I'm taking night classes now, slowly fixing the mess I made, but it still feels like I'm living in a lie.

I don't know if I'll ever have the guts to tell them what really happened.

Oh, damn.

Okay, this person needs to finish night school, get their degree, because I get it.

It's really hard.

It's really stressful.

It's really overwhelming to do college.

And if you're the first in their family, so much pressure.

So if they just did night school, which is awesome, they have it.

Okay, they have it behind their back.

So you think, oh, you can graduate, graduate.

Their logic is, I'm going to graduate.

And then it's all true.

It was still a lie.

No, they should confess.

You think they should confess once they get it.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah,

this is tough because it's like, I feel like reading, hearing that story, it made me be like, okay, yes, because there's a big difference between lies and pranks.

And in this case, you're fully just lying.

Like, this BOP doesn't really have

a set date to be like, hey, this is the truth and this is when it's going to come out.

And this was all for fun.

This is actually just like living in a lie.

Right.

Which for the record, I would never do.

Okay.

Well, As far as we know.

I don't believe a word you say.

My parents don't know I work here.

Could you imagine?

That would be crazy.

They're like, hey, how's the hospital now?

It's going great.

Doctor.

Rasha.

You're a Rasha.

It's so good.

You show up and they're like, so this is the hospital.

And you're like, yeah.

I'm like in the corner.

I'm like,

yes.

I feel bad because, you know, this isn't like a malicious lie.

This is one of those like lies where you're covering something up that you're embarrassed about.

Right.

And I feel bad for people in that situation, but I can, I'm incapable of doing something of this level because as they're explaining the guilt, the just the weight, I'm like, life is going to suck so much more by doing this because now you got to do so much work.

all the time to cover it up.

But like you said, I think the incentive here, the motivation is like, which one is worse, the guilt or the shame?

Shame.

Yeah.

I feel so bad for this person.

And, and you know what?

Like, those last like years of college are really hard.

Like, it's

super easy to like crack and walk away from college.

And that's also okay if that's your decision.

Like, that's a completely fine decision.

And also, like, he's going to graduate college, and it's not like, oh, you didn't finish your degree.

Like, you just took longer to do it.

Yeah.

I took 10 years to do mine because I was off and on.

I took years off.

Like, some people do take a couple years off and then go back and keep going.

I will say, college, in my opinion, happens way too quick.

I think you get out of high school, you're like, who am I?

And they're like, all right, what's your major?

Where do you want to go?

Blah, blah, blah.

And then you have all these pressures.

I wish that they forced us to take a year or two to travel, to like get some work experience, to figure out who the F we are, and then go to college.

I think a lot of people do that.

A lot of people do take a year off or so.

I think it's huge.

And also, I am, what I did and I'm such a huge fan of is going to community college because the stakes are a lot lower.

Yeah.

Because it's not as astronomically expensive.

It's still expensive.

But

you know, you can then, and then switching majors is a great thing.

I think people should do it.

But the systems in place, I think, are set up in not only going to, you know, like a big university and having sort of this big college experience, but I feel like these days too, from middle school, you're expected to pick like a track.

and and those are the courses that you'll take that will eventually lead up to your career and the reality is that you don't actually know what you want to do until after college several times it's so funny too at this stage in my 30s and everyone i know the amount of people who have degrees that match their career is shockingly like not that high.

Yeah.

People end up in completely different places.

Like your life is going to go so many more directions than you expect.

I think for this person, I'm I'm even curious if their degree is going to change their job field that much or if it's just kind of like a mental thing.

Yeah.

Just something that they need to do for their, yeah, for their own sake and their family's sake.

Either way, I just, I feel bad for this person.

I hope they get the weight off their shoulders.

Yeah.

The comments, my nephew did the same thing.

He forgot to get tickets for the family to attend the ceremony, even though they'd flown in from out of town.

His dad, my brother, kept pressing to see the diploma, not because he was suspicious, but because he was so proud.

Took my nephew a year or so to come clean.

After the initial shock wore off, we all rallied behind him to help him redo a year or two.

He's now truly degreed, and we all love him so much.

Anybody can crack.

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Someone else said, hey, I'm so proud of you.

You're finishing.

Honestly, I'm legit thrilled for you.

You got all the congrats and celebratory backpats and you could have just not gone back, but you didn't.

You're finishing.

That's terrific.

I also dropped out right before graduation, and that was 25 years ago.

My family knew, and I was putting myself through school so there was no surprise or disappointment.

I still haven't finished because that last semester was so brutal emotionally that I've never really even considered finishing.

I'm very happy for you.

You're doing the hard thing and confronting a sense of shame you've lived with.

You're legit my hero right now and I wish you the very best of luck.

Oh, okay.

These are so sweet.

So positive.

Great comments.

I thought people were going to tear him a new one.

Hey, fuck you, pal.

Yeah.

Someone else said, I completely understand.

I did the same thing.

I was working on an associate's degree and I ended up failing.

It was too much.

I had some physical and mental health things going on.

Mine was by accident, though.

I was told I was going to be graduating and was listed and invited to the ceremony, got the rope, walked the stage.

My family was there and it was so great.

Then I got a letter in the mail a week later saying I failed a class and I did not actually graduate.

I was so ashamed.

I kept it a secret from everyone for a long time, worked for a while and got things under control, slowly started taking classes again.

I let my mom know, but kept it from everyone else.

Eventually I got my associate's bachelor's and master's degree.

I needed to to go at my own pace, not pack on 15 credits in a semester, just one or two classes at a time so I could truly learn and do well.

I graduated late from everything, but who cares?

I did it my way and I'm so proud.

Yeah, I mean, here's the thing.

You don't have to list on your degree when you got it or how long it took you.

You know, you get it and it's, you get it.

I also feel like I haven't shown anybody my degree.

Nobody has ever seen my diploma.

Yeah, I mean, it's a bit for me, but I know for a lot of people,

it depends on the field.

Right, of course.

A lot of jobs do require bachelor's, masters.

Um, they still probably pay shit.

I mean, that's just the way things go right now.

Um,

uh, but when you're an actor, you're fine.

It doesn't matter what school you went to.

Because you have a journalism degree, right?

No, I have communication and social, so, sociology.

That's cool.

So my sociology was actually what I wanted to major in, which was all about like relationships.

I did a whole semester on women in hip-hop videos.

Hell yeah, straight up.

It was fucking awesome.

I wanted to intern for it because it would be like this huge Indian man who was incredible, and he would break down every music video and like the relationship and like of women and how women were portrayed and what messages these were sending.

And then I also went over like abusive relationships and like nuclear family, and I was obsessed with it.

And then I took forensics for fun.

Let's go back to the internet.

It's very boring, actually.

Let me go back to the huge Indian man.

Like, he was like physically.

His name was Sut Jolly, and I wanted to be his intern.

And so many people wanted to be his intern.

But he was like, he was like seven feet tall.

And he was like an owl.

He was thin.

I think he's.

Heard.

Okay.

Heard.

I also feel bad because I know this is very much the case.

How many people are getting degrees just for their family's sake?

I was just about to say say that.

And I feel so bad.

And I mean, how many things in life do people do, like get married, have kids?

Yeah.

All these things, big things that they do for someone else's approval.

Yeah.

And it's like, hey, man, if you don't want to finish your degree, you don't have to.

That's your journey.

I mean, lying is essentially for other people, right?

So that you can kind of twist other people's thoughts.

You know the truth.

What's happening here?

She's constantly trying to make it better.

Constantly.

I'm not lying to you.

Take that off.

No.

I have to keep this song for the video.

It's not that kind of video.

Oh my God.

Nobody's a hip-hop.

See, she's a villain.

Not the shirt.

She's the baby bump.

Get out of here.

It's real.

Let go of my hand.

Can I tell you something weird?

I get uncomfortable when people hold my hand for so long.

That's so funny because you're such a touchy-feely person, but then holding your hand is too much.

I'm such a touchy-feely person, but like, even if

someone calls funny hand for a while, I'm like, all right.

And

you said that about your husband, even, right?

Yeah, my husband will sometimes hold my hand like while we're walking, and I'm like, yeah, squeeze, squeeze.

Love you.

All right.

I don't know why it is.

Just with holding hands.

Just your hands.

Just hands.

All right.

Well, I'll just, I'll have this here.

No,

No big deal.

You beautiful hands.

Thank you.

All right, let's move on to our next story.

This comes from Am I the Asshole.

Am I the asshole for telling my boyfriend's family that I bought our house, not him?

Huh?

Okay, so she's telling her boyfriend's family that she bought their house, not him.

Okay.

Okay, girl boss.

Yeah.

This whole thing started last month or so.

Me, 27-year-old woman, and my boyfriend, 26-year-old man, who I will call Matt for privacy's sake, have been together for six years now.

I'm the main breadwinner, and that has always been a struggle in our relationship.

I would say he's pretty insecure about earning less than me.

About a year ago, I had finally saved up enough to purchase a house in the neighborhood I really like.

Up until then, me and Matt had been living in his apartment, which is cramped and not located in a nice area.

Matt has never been too bothered about moving.

He likes living in his apartment, and he doesn't mind living elsewhere as long as he doesn't have to pay more than half.

Knowing damn well I could easily purchase the whole house, and it was a bargain for the area, I bit the bullet and bought it from all my own savings.

When we moved in, Matt loved the place and I thought everything was fine.

Now this is the reason I am posting on Reddit.

Two days ago, me and Matt went over to his mom's place for dinner.

Conversation was going fine until the topic of our house was brought up.

Mother-in-law mentioned how proud she was of Matt for owning his own house at 26, which I was confused about, but obviously didn't want to start anything at the dinner table.

Then Matt's sister chimed in about how much of an achievement it was.

Matt looked over at me, not saying anything.

I'm not usually a petty or confrontational person, but something about the fact that I was the one who not only bought the house, but also paid the majority of the bills, and Matt didn't even drop a dollar stuck with me.

So I decided to say something.

I asked Matt, who really bought the house in front of everyone.

Oh!

Girl, boss.

Honestly, I would probably do that.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Who bought it?

Yeah.

Who's your mommy?

Who's your mommy?

Girl, boss.

There is nothing.

That's the most intense thing she could have done.

Oh, yeah.

Who bought the house?

Like, like, of course.

There is no better question or statement you could have done.

Good.

Put his ass on the line.

Yeah.

I know.

It was a dick move, but honestly, I was so riled up by that stage.

Matt said nothing.

And then I announced to everyone that Matt didn't even contribute to buying the house.

Oh, okay.

Immediately after saying that, I packed up my stuff and went home.

I have been texting with Matt's sister.

I will call Kate, who seems to be on my side.

Matt is staying with his mom right now, so I have the house all to myself.

He hasn't contacted me yet, and I don't know whether it's worth breaking up over a lie like this.

Am I the asshole?

Okay, breaking up

is a little extreme, but then again, she owns the house.

The situation is certainly a bit of a deal-breaker in a lot of ways.

Like this relationship.

She did the right thing.

Yeah.

I mean, absolutely.

I don't, don't let him get away with that lie.

Yeah.

No, I'm thinking more about the grand picture of this, of like, of like where you guys are at as far as like,

I think it's really complicated in a relationship to buy a house.

And it's like, if you're not going in on that together, I don't, I don't even mean financially.

Just like, it doesn't seem like they're together as a team doing this.

Like, you know, it's almost like, but I don't know how long they've been together for.

six years six years to me i think it's very tricky when someone is a breadwinner i think you have to have multiple conversations to because because because feeling guilty feeling shameful feeling embarrassed those are all real things they're human things and they're totally okay yeah but it's like you have to have these conversations like

You have to understand that like if you're going to make this big purchase, you're in it together.

There are other ways to contribute than making money.

Like you can contribute emotionally, physically around the house.

Like, I don't know.

I just, I'm so over this.

She makes more than me and I'm really insecure and I'm going to lie.

It's like, that's your relationship with your own family.

Don't drag my accomplishments into your like sad, shameful stuff.

Yeah.

Because I guess the way I'm seeing it is like, you know, they've been together for six years.

They're not married, but I'm like, six years.

I'm like, you're, you're in a very serious relationship.

I don't care if you're married or not.

So it's like, but she bought this house.

I'm like, you bought your house, but then he's claiming that he bought this house.

I'm like, that's intense.

Yeah.

Because you didn't buy it as a team.

You didn't even, it doesn't sound like they even discussed it together.

Right.

That's where I'm like, are you guys even really like, is this relationship serious in where you're going?

Yeah.

And that's so disrespectful what he did.

Like, that is extremely disrespectful.

I'd have a hard time being like, oh yeah, we can, this relationship can keep going forward.

Not only is he taking away all of her accomplishment and just making it entirely his own, not even the, the lie wasn't even, we bought a house together.

The lie was, I bought a house.

Um,

he's taking away her accomplishment entirely, too.

He's not even,

it's, it's, it's one thing, even if he said, we bought this together, he could be proud of her, yeah.

Um,

but I don't know, he's embarrassed, yeah, which is why I think it's maybe like maybe why she felt the need to say something right then and there.

Yeah, totally.

Because I feel like, I feel like she definitely did the right thing, obviously, by standing up for herself.

But what's tricky is maybe her bringing it up in front of the family, which in this context is funny and is like, yes, go off.

But I think in that situation, if you truly are a partnership with whoever this person is, right?

And in this case, your boyfriend, it feels like there's a little bit of an exchange of like, oh, we're going to talk about this later.

Yeah.

And later being like, hey, what was that?

Like, what's going on?

Or a brief beforehand of like, hey, my family doesn't know this yet.

I'm really ashamed of this.

Can we maybe bring this up?

Or can we maybe avoid talking this?

Like, there just needs to be like a

an alliance and that's clearly missing.

And he was kind of dumb to just expect that this would come.

The family brought it up.

So he lied to them and said, I bought this house.

Right.

It does bring up another, and this is what I talk about with cheating and all this stuff.

I'm like, the layer of disrespect of like, and you're going to go along with it.

Right.

My girlfriend's going to go along with this.

Yeah.

It's like,

damn.

Which makes me also think that she

came in hot because I think that there was already resentment built up from her.

She was like, I bought this house.

You weren't ready.

You never even contributed, which is also another thing.

It's like, we let all these conversations go unsaid and it it builds up resentment.

And I'm not saying that she's in the wrong.

I get it.

When you're in a heated moment like that,

that's essentially just completely ignoring all of your work that you've done.

Totally.

But this, this, if you guys are together, you can buy the house, but it's kind of like, what is the agreement that you guys have together in on this?

Yeah.

I see that.

I can't fault her for what she said.

No, no.

It is also pretty badass and funny.

It's really funny.

But he started this.

He lied.

He premeditated lied.

It wasn't a momentary, like,

uh, like that.

Yeah.

Maybe, but he thought this out and he lied to the family beforehand.

He didn't even tell her like.

That's a big lie.

That would, I mean, buying a house in today's world is an extremely hard thing to do.

And it's not only that, it's like a big risk.

She put all her savings into it and everything.

Yeah.

And here,

the most important person in her life who's supposed to respect her more than anyone else

blatantly disrespects her.

Like,

I'd be so pissed.

She, she really reads as like just incredibly independent to me.

Yeah.

Right.

Like the way that she has laid out him being in this like cramped apartment, not a nice area, and he's not really like in a rush to move.

Yeah.

And she's like, I want to move forward.

I'm ready for the next step.

I'm doing it with or without you.

Here I've done it.

Now almost like just letting him be a part of this.

And she has kind of taken that like dominance, which she seems to be fine with.

Like this is the plan that she has executed and it's fine.

But he's clearly not fine with it.

He doesn't want that narrative.

He's like, you make more money than me.

My family can't know this.

He's like lying about it to cover it up.

And this is just not going to work.

It's not working.

It's not going to work.

Their values are just so different.

You know, like they're

not going.

It's, this is a big thing that's like not gonna work and i do not think this situation is a deal breaker in itself i know i know so many couples where one person makes more money than the other that's almost how it's just gonna always shake out and i know that in many different uh variety right like i know plenty of couples where where a woman makes more than the man or whatever and and they're fine right because they're a team and it's it you can tell like they view it all as like we're working together yeah and there's also just a level of security like dude it's a different world now.

Right.

Like, stop.

The only sad part about that is that you are insecure.

Yeah.

Yeah.

100%.

But the thing is,

not only did he lie, he just, to me, it shows a level of respect that he just doesn't have for her.

Totally.

Totally.

And to go to what you said, like, it's okay to feel insecure.

What action you take upon that, though?

It's just what he did.

Right.

You know, it's like if he goes there and he goes, you know, hey, sometimes I feel, I don't feel great about myself.

I don't feel like good.

She clearly doesn't care.

I, at least I'm reading from this.

Right.

I feel like she's okay with this situation.

She's like, fuck it.

I bought real estate.

Move in.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's it.

So the verdict is advice needed.

They just want more info.

But we have several comments here.

Someone said, not the asshole.

The fact that he said nothing actually speaks volumes.

He wanted to look like a big man while writing his girlfriend's coattails.

As for the breaking up part, I think it would depend on what he actually told his family.

Did they assume he contributed or did he tell them he did?

If he told them he did, he's stealing your valor.

Get him out.

OP responded, Kate told me he said he contributed.

Tomorrow I'm contacting him to see where this all goes.

All right, so I guess it depends on what he said.

Okay.

I think

I'm going based on the assumption that he told them I bought the house.

Yeah, me too.

Which isn't fair.

I, so we don't, I get where the advice is needed of like, what specifically did he?

Well, regardless, the family, the way they portrayed it, it was like, oh, he bought the house.

She went under the assumption.

And then also in the moment, he was like, she was like, wait, who bought the house?

And he stayed silent.

Right.

He like gave her a look of like nothing.

And

because he could have in that moment been like, oh, no, we both contributed.

Totally.

Which would have been easier.

Was there someone else at that dinner table that wasn't involved at all that they were just like.

The younger brother.

Past the mashed potatoes.

Yeah.

He's like, can I go upstairs now?

It's like, I want a game.

Yeah.

Someone said, soft, you're the asshole.

Here's my question to you.

Why was it so important to you to set the record straight when it came to who actually paid for the house?

I would have probably raised an eyebrow at Matt with the inherent promise of we will be talking about this later, but I don't think I would have humiliated a man that I profess to love in front of his family.

I mean, did he actually tell them that he bought the house or did they just infer it in a sexist fashion?

However, if this is all part of I'm getting tired of his fecklessness and financial insecurity and his lies on top of that was the straw that broke the camel's back, then you should probably start to think about what life looks like without Matt.

I would have been disappointed that he did not correct them, but frankly, it's nobody's business who paid what for the house.

That had 74 down votes.

So a lot of people did not.

Yeah.

Fecklessness.

I mean, what does it even mean?

I do also,

something I was thinking earlier was that I'm like,

his family knows the financial, I would assume the family knows like his job and

whatever the financial situation.

So like, I get that there's the sexism of like, oh, yeah, we immediately believe you bought the house or contributed the most.

Yeah, what what I disagree with that take is is definitely like it it certainly does matter the the verbiage of

who did this like because what the family is saying is true in that purchasing your own house at 26 massive really impressive borderline unheard of yeah but give it to the woman who actually did that yeah not this man who's claiming it i will say like i i would view any couple who's buying a house.

I'm like, oh, you, you guys bought this house.

Together.

I'm not going to do this thing of like, you out of the two of you did this.

He bought the house.

Yeah.

That's that is also striking me as a little odd.

Which is maybe where Matt gets that, right?

That's his family.

So maybe his family instilled those values and virtues in him.

OP responded to that comment saying it was definitely more of a straw that broke the camel's back situation.

As I said in the past, financial insecurity is a major problem in our relationship, and shit like taking credit for purchasing small things has happened before.

Never anything as big as taking credit for buying the house, though.

Resentment?

68 up votes.

There's a pattern here.

A different commenter replied, imagine if you had kids with him, he'd probably take credit for giving birth.

Oh my God.

Someone said, so it isn't worth breaking up over this specific thing, but this is now a pattern.

You say, I'm the main breadwinner, and that has always been a struggle in our relationship.

I would say he's pretty insecure about earning less than me.

This is why you break up.

I had an insecure boyfriend who was threatened by my achievements once.

It sucked.

They constantly picket you to bring you down to their level and or you start not talking about your achievements as much to lower their sulking and passive-aggressive behavior.

It is a very unpleasant way to live.

There are literally millions of men out there.

Why live your life with one that doesn't meet a reasonable standard?

Now, I definitely would not have just left like that.

This should have been a conversation between the two of you, ideally, but I do get wanting to set the record straight.

I will say, not the asshole, but you could have handled it better.

OP responded, this.

I'm worried if I stay with him, shit like this will continue.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, that's that's very possible.

I think that's what I was thinking from the start of this is just like, this does not sound like it's going to work.

Totally.

Again, like, not to, not to completely drag Matt.

Like, I think he just needs some.

growth and he he also just kind of needs to learn his place in in his family and his life and his world but for OP, I think she deserves a man that's going to be like, look at my awesome fucking girlfriend who bought a house and is making a lot of money and is awesome and is actually worthy of that title.

I think far too many women date men or marry men that aren't proud to be their partner and instead are like, oh my God, everything that they're doing, I'm actually jealous of and insecure of and I want to pull them down.

Yeah, that sucks.

If your partner is not your biggest fan and isn't like rooting for you to be the

happiest, like, ultimate version of yourself.

Then, what is the point?

What the fuck?

What are you in competition with your partner?

Then they don't truly love you.

They're actually just like, I want us to be together, or this relationship is something that I want, but I'm not actually like, I don't love you.

I don't want you to be happy because those things are obviously great things to attach to your partner.

Otherwise, yeah, update.

Update.

He's dead.

Oh, my God.

She's like, my house, bitch.

She killed him.

Burying you in the backyard.

Yes.

One day later.

Hi, Reddit.

I'm back.

Last night I posted an Am I the Asshole and it kind of blew up.

I don't know Reddit standards, but I think 400,000 views is a lot.

So some stuff happened today.

Matt, fake name for boyfriend, came back to the house.

I was assuming he was coming back to get his things and leave, but I was unfortunately very wrong.

He literally told me he could forgive me and that he was moving back in as if that was a good thing.

I was so shocked, but he was dead ass.

So as any sane person would do, I grabbed all his remaining stuff, gave it to him, and told him to get the fuck out.

He got really mad at that, and I was worried he would get aggressive.

So I called Kate, sister-in-law, for backup.

She was really helpful and drove Matt home.

As soon as I can, I'm changing locks.

As for some of the comments, I pay the mortgage and I don't even think Matt knows what a mortgage is.

I live in Canada, so I'm not sure if I have legal rights to kick him out.

He has stayed with me for just over a year.

I am trying to seek some lawyer advice.

Thank you for all your help and i will try to update if i can whoa so he took that 24 hours to go i know the right thing to do i for i forgive you and i'm moving back in yeah and i want a man cave

i hate him i can't believe he did that that sucks also the sister-in-law like your own sister's like i got you girl

and she's like come on brother you dumbass get in the car seriously i feel like in these stories stories, like, brother and sister-in-laws are often the ones who can end up being an ally in a weird way.

Like, family, you can't rely on a lot of times.

She's probably been annoyed with her brother for a long time.

Like, he's a piece of stuff.

Oh, yeah.

Get your stuff.

It's like a shitty backpack with, like, a hat.

Sister-in-law's like, should we kill him?

Right.

Matt's going to go back home, though, and his parents are going to be like, she's a bitch.

Yeah.

You stay here until forever.

Yeah.

The pattern continued, and she clocked it.

Good for her.

Yeah.

Damn.

All right.

our next story.

Yay.

Am I the asshole for not telling my friend that the volunteer gig he flaked on was actually paid?

What?

Okay.

So I, a 23-year-old man, and my friend Ryan, a 23-year-old man, are both in engineering.

Last month, our department posted a call for volunteers to help run logistics at a local tech conference.

It sounded like a good networking opportunity, so I signed up and I told Ryan about it too.

He was like, eh, not worth the time unless they're paying.

Fair enough.

I showed up the first day, and to my surprise, they hand me a badge, free food vouchers, and say we'll be getting a small stipend at the end.

Like, not huge, but still $300 for two days.

Not bad at all.

Ryan texts me while I'm there, like, yo, how's it going?

And I just say, not bad, chill so far.

I didn't mention the money because one, I didn't know how long I'd be staying.

And two, he already decided it wasn't worth it.

Anyway, after the event, I got the stipend and posted a pic of the staff group on IG.

Ryan sees it and asks, wait, you got paid?

I say, yeah, it ended up being paid after all.

He flips, says I was shady for not telling him, that he would have come if he knew, and that I knew he needed the cash.

He told a few people I set him up to miss out on it.

But like, he made his call.

I didn't know it was paid either at first, and I never lied to him.

Am I the asshole?

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I love this person writing this thing.

He's like, he's got like a sidewalk.

He's like, dude, chill.

Anyway, so I,

he just.

Yeah.

How did he find out that it was paid through the staff?

And he was He's like, we got paid.

They're all paid.

Money Mary Day mentioned.

$300.

It's like,

it's like one of those massive checks that says free

for two days.

And free food vouchers.

And free food vouchers.

Yeah.

I guess where I'm confused is like,

I'm like, was he even able to join once he like got through?

Like, I'm like, you're already on the job.

I can't, you can't just show up.

Also, he didn't know it was paid.

He didn't.

No, this is the problem with so many of these situations is people just make assumptions before asking.

Yeah.

Of like, hey, like, did you end up finding out that it was paid?

Or like, what was the, like, what happened there?

Instead of just being like, so you set me up.

And then to like spread his name being like, oh, my God, he set me up.

Can you believe that, you guys?

Like, what?

You knew I needed the money.

He set me up.

It's like, it's like, dude, it's not like if he got paid, I wouldn't get paid.

Right.

I'm confused.

Like, the flipping out, I'm like, hey, man, like, I don't know.

He's just trying to make enemies.

I think he's just upset that he, he did miss out now.

Well, it's just like, you knew I need the money.

It's like, okay, well, be a grown-up.

I don't know.

Reach out to the volunteer place.

Yeah.

Like, well, let me just double check to make sure.

Yeah.

It's, it's, he's definitely being clouded by this need for finance that he's like, I needed money.

I, and you didn't let me do this opportunity.

I'm desperate for it.

Like, and that's getting in the way of his.

He was home just looking at IGs.

He was like, oh, big check.

Whoa,

damn him.

Get off IG.

Go volunteer, man.

The verdict was not the asshole.

Comments, not the asshole.

They needed you there in the beginning for a quick volunteer orientation, right?

I've done this event work before.

So when you found out it was paid, it was too late for him to get paid.

Make sure he knows that, and that should be the end of it.

And you were right, by the way, the networking opportunity was worth more than the $300.

And I hope you got some contacts out of it.

Maybe one day Ryan can decide an internship you go for isn't worth it, and you'll find out it was paid too.

Then later, Ryan will wonder why he didn't get a job offer.

Someone replied to that, saying, In this market, networking is worth months of employment.

When you spend months trying to find a job with no luck, while the person who networked finds a contact that is looking to hire, OP's friend is short-sighted if they thought it wasn't worth it without cash up front.

I love these commenters.

One of them is like Ryan's mom.

She's like, see, yeah, just tell him.

Networking.

Tell him.

Yeah.

With almost any Reddit story about any sort of career,

I, of course, am overall out of my depth and clueless because I've worked this job my entire life.

But in the acting field, that is a very similar sentiment of like, you do, when you move out here, you go under the assumption of like, you have to take every opportunity you get,

whether it's paid or not, because you need to like make a ton of contacts and friends.

Totally.

Most are unpaid.

Most are

unpaid are the ones where you meet like some of the best people.

Yeah.

I think what you have to do is evaluate these events, not just like by money, but what other forms of currency are you going to get?

Exposure, publicity, contacts, like those are also big things that if you just go into these events or jobs in general, just thinking how much money am I making per hour, like.

Ultimately, you're not going to get very far in life because there's a lot more that's actually going to pay you.

Right.

Right.

Someone else commented saying, you're the asshole.

He didn't flake on anything.

He said he didn't want to do it unless it was paid.

If you're his friend, the moment you found out it was paid, why wouldn't you tell him?

That's so weird.

If he's some random dude you work with, who cares?

But you yourself said, my friend, so I assume you're, you know, friends.

He made an uninformed choice.

You then got more information and purposely withheld it from him for some reason.

Sounds weird and definitely on you.

How many down votes does that have?

This is also Ryan's mom.

She's like, actually, wait.

I like my son.

You guys are rap.

He costs.

Someone replied saying, Real talk, by the OP's justification, it doesn't even seem like he considers the guy his friend.

Yeah, this randomness.

This is not the asshole.

It's clear.

I don't know.

Yeah, it just,

that's going off of the assumption that, like, OP is thinking about his friend at all times.

Yeah.

Which you aren't.

He's working.

He's working.

He's doing his thing.

And he's like, oh, sweet, cash.

Like, I'm not thinking about everybody that I've ever known who needs money and could show up right this second.

Right.

Because Ryan texted him while he was working.

He was like, hey, how's it going?

And he responded, not bad chill so far.

He said he didn't mention the money because

he didn't know how long he'd be staying.

And he already decided it wasn't worth it.

That his buddy already decided it wasn't worth it.

But that's not...

The stakes are low for me a little bit, but it's like...

It's like, okay, you decided it wasn't worth it when you didn't know you'd get 300 bucks, but now there's 300 bucks involved.

So

I don't know.

Actually, being clued into that made me think like, maybe they are closer if they are talking so much and like they're yeah, texting every day, seemingly, or like he's at this event and he's like, hey, how's it going?

Like maybe they do have regular conversations.

Yeah, we don't have, this is a very short story.

You know, it's one of those types of situations, and I think it's true for a lot, where I'm like.

You're the asshole depending on the level of like friendship you got going here.

It's like a random acquaintance.

I'm like, you don't really owe them as much.

But like, hey, if you're, if you guys are buddies, what has see this guy done for you in the past?

What have you done for him?

Like, hey, what's the trade-off here?

Whatever.

I think if they were close friends, he would have been like, yo, man, it's actually paid.

I'm so sorry.

Like, sorry that you missed out.

I bet it's probably too late unless you want me to ask.

Like, I feel like close friends would probably try to make it work.

Totally.

But if he's like, still so far, it's like.

Yeah, yeah, then that's a little sucked.

But what I will also say is I, I still don't think it warrants the reaction he got got from his buddy.

Totally.

Flipping out, like, you set me up that, like, you're like, I hate you level.

And it's like, whoa, man.

Yeah, there's more needed in terms of level of friendship.

And also, I would say, how much OP has heard about this financial situation.

If they really have been like having deeper conversations about it, and he's constantly been like, hey, if you have any work that might come up, like, let me know.

I'm really trying to look for some money.

I'm strapped.

Yeah.

And it also depends on like what's going on with this friend's life.

Like if this friend is working and grinding nonstop and he's just like, oh, any chance he can get where he's not working, he's got to take it.

He's like, I don't have the time to volunteer right now.

Yeah.

There's those things too, but we just don't have that info.

Right.

The way that it read at first was more of like a casual like, hey, how's it going?

You set me up.

Yeah.

And it's like, that probably wasn't it then.

Yeah.

One last comment here says, not the asshole.

Everyone thought it was a volunteer thing.

Turns out that they actually paid the staff, which is awesome, but not your fault or problem.

Ryan didn't want to give up his weekend.

I'm assuming it was on the weekend for free.

And that's understandable.

Still, no one's fault here, but Ryan became the asshole for acting like you intentionally screwed him over.

You even offered the opportunity to him and he rejected it.

Yeah, I really see that one because it's the response after the fact.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't know these guys.

Ryan's just causing drama, man.

Yeah.

Dude, freaking Ryan, man.

Ryan, man.

Dude, Ryan.

He's just chill.

Yeah, he could go on a reality show and make some money.

That's so true.

All right.

There's a solution.

Right?

Don't they make so much money on that?

You would slay on a reality show.

You would kill.

I would kill people.

You would kill people.

No.

Well.

All right.

Our next story.

This is a confession from the subreddit.

Confession.

I've been faking an allergy for years, and now it's gone way too far.

Yes.

No.

Yes.

I don't like this.

Honestly, everyone with an allergy.

Literally.

Am I right?

Literally.

Cut it out.

You have to get out of here.

Can you imagine it?

Like, give it up.

Can you imagine it?

I mean, everyone with an allergy, am I right?

Just own a cat and get a spoon of peanut butter already.

Get out of here.

What do we think it is?

Okay, what's the allergy?

Pollen.

Penicillin.

Men.

Faking pollen would be tough because that's everywhere.

Yeah.

Men.

I'm going to go with cats.

I think people...

Oh, maybe their boyfriend has a cat and they're like, I can't

have a nasty apartment.

Yeah.

Okay.

This started as a dumb excuse and now I'm in too deep.

Years ago, I went on a date with this girl who was obsessed with peanut butter.

She kept pushing me to try her peanut butter smoothie even after I said I wasn't in the mood.

Instead of just saying no, I blurted out, oh, I can't.

I'm allergic.

Big mistake.

Yeah.

Bro.

She was super concerned, asked a million questions, and I figured, whatever, I'd never see her again.

But then she introduced me to her friend group, and they all knew about my allergy.

At that point, correcting it felt too awkward.

Fast forward six years.

What?

I'm still friends with these people.

My allergy is a known fact.

They warn restaurants for me.

They check ingredients.

One of them even threw out a peanut butter cake someone brought to a a party just to be safe.

The worst part,

I love peanut butter.

I eat it in secret.

I have a stash at work.

Once my best friend said, man, it must suck not knowing what a Reese's tastes like.

And I just nodded solemnly.

Best friend?

His best friend at work.

Or wait, no, once best friends.

Wow.

Okay.

Now my girlfriend, who also believes I'm allergic, wants us to move in together.

And she's super cautious about food.

I'm terrified she'll find my peanut butter stash and think I've been lying to her.

Well, she'll know you've been lying to her, which I have for years.

I have no idea how to get out of this.

Do I fake a miracle recovery, a medical misdiagnosis, or do I just keep the lie going forever?

What the hell?

Dude, I love peanut butter.

This is a tragedy.

Here's the deal.

Wait, is this the same girlfriend from the start?

The girl he was at a once.

I don't think so.

I don't think so.

Random girl.

He was dating a girl, but he met friends through that girl, and then it just spread like wildfire.

Like peanut butter.

Everyone knows, and everyone thinks it.

It's at work.

It's invaded everything.

Oh.

Over not wanting to try a delicious peanut butter smoothie.

Yeah.

That's what I'm saying.

However, can I also say, whenever someone's like pushing something on me and they're like, here, try this.

I'm like, no thanks.

And they keep trying.

I'm like, no, thanks.

You got to fucking stop.

You got to back up.

If I say no,

if I say no, you got to respect that.

No means no.

No matter how delicious the smoothie is,

stop it.

Yeah.

But he then did this and he kept it going for six years.

That is

wild to me.

Yeah.

He could have instead in that moment, said, hey, please stop asking.

Hey, please stop.

Hey, fucking stop.

So he basically needs to go to a doctor and then go, oh my God, hallelujah, miracle happened.

I can have peanut butter and half.

Don't allergies.

No.

Is this a myth that allergies shift every seven seven years?

So he could, hey, it could, he could just say, hey, it wasn't.

Do you not agree?

What's happening here?

I just feel like I'm mad that he didn't take the sip of the peanut butter smoothie at the beginning.

Oh, hello.

That sounds delicious.

Pushed your smoothie?

No, no, I won't push my smoothie.

Peanut butter smoothies are delicious.

They're fucking delicious.

So I'm over here like the lie is that he's gone, I love peanut butter, but he's not taking a sip of this peanut butter smoothie at the beginning.

Yeah, he messed up.

He messed up by not taking the sip.

This is karma, essentially.

It's really dangerous because this is, this, this paints a horrible narrative for all the people who really have allergies.

Who have peanuts?

And peanut allergy is, is, you can die from it.

It's so scary, even just being around it.

It's so serious that it's got to be terrifying because peanuts are fucking everywhere.

Everywhere.

Everywhere.

They took it off planes.

Good.

Yeah.

I was always agreed.

I was always confused by that.

Yeah.

I was like, out of all the foods, you chose the one that kills a lot of people.

I was like, you know, there's a lot of snacks out there and you chose peanuts.

Yeah, come on.

i understand it's probably cheap and easy but come on man people like because i know i knew of people who had severe peanut allergies where they had to wait for specific flights where they would like clean out the whole plane and like back like do intense cleaning because like they can't fly it's such an intense allergy and it like needs to be taken seriously so i get why his friends threw out that whole peanut butter cake at a party i mean we're we're guys we're we have a lot of people we have there's a lot of people at at Smash who have like a lot of severe allergies and we're extremely conscientious of it.

So it's a very serious thing.

I do think lying about allergies is a very serious thing.

No, no.

Yeah.

Well, do you guys think it would be embarrassing if he was just like, hey, I have to admit, like, this is where this lie came from.

Like, I don't know, man.

I don't think he can.

He's in pretty deep.

It's such a, it, it.

Compared to other lies, it feels like such an innocuous one at face value.

But the length of time and the amount of effort they've all put in.

Six years.

They threw away a cake at a party, a peanut butter cake.

I'd be thinking about that shit.

I'd be like, we threw away a delicious cake.

Yeah,

for you.

And like, Amy's.

Also, like, he's got a girlfriend who he's going to move in together with that he's been lying about a huge aspect.

I,

his life.

Yeah.

This stresses me out.

I'm like, bro.

Yeah.

I think I think that's it.

He might get hives just from the stress.

Right.

I think he just let it spiral too much.

I think he should have corrected it right at the the beginning.

Oh, well, yeah.

It should have been a more immediate like, hey, I didn't,

I accidentally just said this in the moment, but I actually didn't mean it.

There are so many things he could have done that would have been.

Like I said, I'm mad at the person for pushing anything on you when you say no.

Yeah.

But he could have also just been like, hey, I'm leaving right now.

He's like, I'm never going to see you again.

But I'm allergic is probably the one you can't do.

And then to stick with it, because he could have said, I'm allergic.

And she could have been like, oh, oh, what?

And then later have been like, I lied because you were pushing it.

Yeah, exactly.

Like you blurt out things sometimes.

And then it's like, oh, shit, I shouldn't have said that.

But then he doubled down and then tripled down.

And six years later, he is here.

But lies make you keep lying.

Yeah.

So I think, is this wrong for him to be like, oh my God, I'm, you know, I don't have this anymore.

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That kind of feels almost like the first story, where it's like, if you just, if he just like completed college and got his diploma, then it's almost like a technicality of now everything is true, where you did graduate from college now, but earlier lies still persist.

Same with the peanut butter allergy.

Now the truth is out that you are not allergic, but they think anymore.

I, yeah, It's he's not going to be in the clear though, because he's, for one, he's going to know that he lied for six years, but it's also going to be a thing, it's going to keep getting brought up of like, man, and you were so allergic to peanut butter for seven years, and then you were, and he has to keep being like, Where's his family during all this?

Could you imagine the mom visits for one day?

It just blows it all up.

She's like, When were you ever allergic to peanut butter?

This boy used to drink in peanut butter.

He's kept his family a secret because they work on a peanut farm.

When When you coming down to peanut farm, I don't know.

My great-grandpa, Jimmy Carter.

This is my dad, Dr.

Jif.

Doc?

It's pronounced Gif.

Yeah.

These are my cousins, creamy and crunchy.

Okay.

Comments.

Comments.

Someone said, I'm going to be real with you, misdiagnosis is your best bet.

Your next step is telling her you're seeing an allergist who's been micro dosing peanuts for you to get to eat them and voila cured it's actually a thing and what's one more lie dude come clean or do it quick before she marries you and has access to your medical records whoa okay if she's gonna that's going a little bit far i have not i don't look at my husband's medical records every time i haven't thought

show me the records i've i i've i didn't know that was a thing yeah

you know what it's actually not you can

say that feels you have to you have to the person has to like, because this actually happened to me recently, you have to be like, yes, I give my husband permission to

my medical records.

They can't just look at your medical records.

I would certainly hope so.

Because they're married to you.

I'm pretty sure.

I hope that's the case everywhere.

OP responded, okay, I actually didn't know this.

Is this common knowledge to everyone?

Someone responded, it's common knowledge to people who know people with actual peanut butter allergies.

Someone said, just say your parents told you you've had a peanut allergy since childhood and you went to an allergist to inquire about micro dosing and they did some tests and you found out you've outgrown the allergy.

Blame it on Dr.

Jif.

OP responded saying, I think this is the safe one.

Mentioning micro-dosing and the tests will help for sure.

I'm not the best liar, but hey, I was lying in the first place and I just want it over with.

I'm going to be real honest with you, man.

I think you're a good liar.

Yeah.

Six years.

Six years.

They throw out a cake.

That's a lot of practice.

You know, they say it takes 10,000 hours to master a skill.

And I think six years, you're pretty close.

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

You might, I think you've actually done it.

You've done it, buddy.

I'm not gonna do that math right now.

It's just kind of crazy that all of the solutions are like this is practically the best thing to do is to lie again to get out of all of it instead of being like confess, you know?

I think

it's true.

It's I think it's too late.

Yeah.

His life will blow up if he tells the truth.

Which is crazy.

Well, that's what happens when you lie.

Don't lie.

Don't lie.

Don't lie.

No, this is awful.

This is my nightmare.

Like, my nightmare is this.

That's why I don't lie.

Read.

Here's the best possible situation.

He,

the seven-year mark hits, and he develops a peanut

allergy.

What if he actually started to develop one?

I think he'd be really disappointed.

That's karma.

That would be like Twilight Zone.

That would be a bad thing.

That's the Twilight Zone ending where he does develop a peanut allergy.

It could happen.

It could theoretically happen.

Yeah,

I feel like you got to think ahead when you lie and make sure that it's not going to be something that like haunts you or puts you in a bad box for later.

Marvel movie.

Right, right, exactly.

Like, that's a genius lie.

It's like, if you lied about the peanut butter smoothie, like later, if it comes up one more time and you're around other people, then it's like, oh no, I wasn't referring to the peanut butter.

I was referring to the

cocoa powder.

You know, like just like, I don't know, switch it up.

Like, I feel like I'll never have hot cocoa ever again.

I just, right.

I just, I, I, I, I feel so much more stress with any lie.

I'd rather, like, I'd rather face all the other things, like the shame, the like, the uncomfort, the, the, everything else.

But knowing that I'm on the surface is so nice because I'm like, okay, this is all true.

Yeah.

Like Like you might, there, you might lose out on a lot of things in life by not lying.

You might.

Like people do go places by lying, but I'm like, yeah, but you're living a lie.

It's not true.

Like, and I don't like that.

And you have to live with yourself.

Yeah, man.

That's the worst.

Yeah.

And how is he going to hide his peanut butter

little stash?

from his girlfriend when he moves in.

Like, how?

Yeah.

Maybe he just sank.

Maybe he just tells her.

Like, what if, what if it's like, hey, let me let you in on something.

Hey, let me.

Hey, come here.

Get over here.

Let me get over here.

She's like, okay, don't murder me.

And it's like his peanut butter room.

Yeah.

You know what?

Okay.

And they're fucking it.

You know what's another movie ending of this before I move on?

It's like he tells everyone it all blows up.

He loses all his friends.

He loses his girlfriend.

He goes home by himself and he makes himself a peanut butter smoothie and he tries it and he's like, that's delicious.

You're so right.

That's really good.

And then the girlfriend's like, ooh, from the day.

I don't know why.

Wow.

Okay.

Yeah, that's a tough one.

All right.

What a story.

What a story.

Creamy.

All right.

We're apparently going to love this next one.

Okay.

This story comes from the Too Hot Takes subreddit.

Shout out to Morgan over at Too Hot Takes.

Okay.

Her subreddit, man.

We love Morgan.

It's like the best.

There's some of the best stories.

We love Morgan.

Her fans submit some wild stuff.

Yay.

My husband lied about the reasoning for his tattoo, and he was having an affair.

Two separate things?

Okay, now that I've told you one lie,

another.

Yeah, completely separate.

Yeah, separate.

Okay.

I'm only period.

A year and a half ago, my husband got a tattoo.

I don't have a problem with tattoos or anything like that, but he had never gotten one before or talked about getting one.

He said he started thinking about it because one of his sisters married a man who had several tattoos.

It made him realize he wanted one.

He ended up getting a lily tattooed on the left side of his chest.

I didn't really like it, but I didn't comment because he is free to do what he wants with his body.

A little over a year after he got the lily done, he went back and had some ivy added around it.

I used to go to certain work events and parties with him because it was normal to go.

He started telling me I couldn't because of the pandemic, which made sense a few years ago, but things began opening back up and events were more normal.

He finally relented and brought me to one.

I met one of his colleagues.

She works in the same department as him, and they have the same title, so they work together a lot.

Her name was lily

my husband swore it was a coincidence i had tried to ignore my feelings about him suddenly wanting a tattoo he eventually admitted they have been having an affair for the last two years i was so shocked i was not even thinking about the ivy but my husband said that lily had a baby she named ivy and he got the tattoo a few months after the birth

He begged me not to get a divorce, but I can't forgive this.

We have to be separated for a year before before we get divorced.

Our daughter is turning 18 next month.

There will not be child support ordered for either of us by the time we are divorced.

The divorce should not be complicated.

We both work, so the attorney I consulted said there will not be spousal support ordered for either of us, and our assets will be divided.

Part of me is still in shock.

He wants to go to counseling, but I can't.

We have been married for 19 years, and I let him convince me my feelings about his tattoo were wrong.

I never thought I would be 43 and getting a divorce, but here here I am.

Fought this man.

This is devastating.

Okay, so the husband then got Ivy tattooed shortly after this woman, Lily, had a baby that she named Ivy, but we don't know that Ivy is his baby, but he got Ivy tattooed next to Lily.

It points to that.

And the baby was born during the affair.

Okay.

Okay.

I think

and he got it on his chest on the side of his heart.

Probably.

That's very sweet.

I will say that's very sweet, like in general.

Like that's very sweet for like

that.

Yeah, but that's so devastating.

That's so devastating.

Also, I'm so sick of these people gaslighting other people.

She clearly was like, I don't like this tattoo.

I don't feel good about it.

And then he's like, meh.

Great.

Boldness is always shocking.

Oh, he's so bold right here.

Damn.

And that sucks that he's just like, let's do counseling, babe.

Like, what the fuck no man you need counseling you need you need personal counseling away from everybody begged me not to get a divorce what why what are you thinking me dude

that makes that actually makes no sense like there's nothing I want to advocate for with this he got it his first tattoo was for the woman he's having an affair with and he got it in plain sight dude he made a decision and now he's gaslighting his wife and begging her not to end it with him it's like here's the thing people go through a lot of tough things in marriage, but like the way he handled it, I'm just like, buddy.

Yeah.

If he maybe came to her and confessed like this happened, holy shit, maybe,

maybe they could go somewhere with that.

But he's not even sorry.

I don't even think he's not sorry at all.

No, this affair has been happening for two years.

He possibly has another child with this woman and he's been married for almost 20 years.

Yeah, that's crazy.

That's insane.

Yeah.

That's wild.

Absolutely insane.

And they have a daughter who's eight, who's now turning 18.

And she has probably seen the tattoo.

Yeah.

And she's like, who's Lily and who's Ivy?

Everything about this is awful.

That's actually psychotic of him to do.

And that's, I think, I've said this before too, but like,

I sometimes wonder what's the more infuriating part about.

affairs and cheating is it's the affair and the cheating or it's the please let's not break up over this like don't break up with me don't yeah come on I'm like if you're gonna cheat or have an affair you need to at least be like I fully understand if you're yeah you're right like it's the to think like no you'll stay with me after this is that's that shows how much you disrespect this person like what's the long-term plan here you know is it like was he actually just like I'll never end it right like I'll just do this for all of time and when it comes I'll just be able to keep her in my life too the tattoo has like a home and then like a dog and then

A dorage site where he's going to be buried next to Lily.

Wait a second.

What's happening here?

Comments on this one.

He seems pretty proud of his extracurricular activity.

6.7,000 upvotes.

Wow.

Someone said, let's just for a second, not even talk about just the cheating part.

You go and basically get your affair partner's name tattooed on you and then have a kid with her.

You also tattoo on yourself and then you expect your wife to work on the marriage.

Like, what in the world is he smoking?

It sounds like he's done with the marriage too.

It makes no sense.

Like, how delusional is this dude?

Someone said, so Ivy is your husband's daughter.

Someone responded to that.

That's what I came here to ask to.

Why else would he add the Ivy to his tattoo right after the baby was born?

OP, 43 is still young.

Trust me.

Surround yourself with good people and plan yourself a nice vacation.

You deserve to be treated with love and respect.

And when you're ready, you'll meet someone that is worthy of that trust.

I've been there, and it's really painful to get over that kind of betrayal, but be patient with yourself and you'll get through it.

Sending lots of invisible hugs your way.

Also, 43 is not old.

You can't start over any time in your life.

Yeah.

Right.

The timing of it is a nightmare only in the fact of how many years they've put through with this marriage.

19 years.

19.

And that's just like, it's like cheating is such a betrayal on so many levels, but to actually truly never see it coming in the fact that you're like, I'm committed to this man.

Like, I've been married.

We have a kid who's almost 18.

Like, it's just like that is the cherry on top of all this unpredictability but she did feel bad things happening she did feel she sensed she was sensing it and then he denied her that that's what i i i it's it's an infuriating part too because i've heard this from a lot of people and i felt this too of just like you kind of know You kind of know, but then you're also like, you know, if you're a good person, you're, you're like, well,

I don't want to be, I want to trust.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to be the paranoid person.

I'm not going going to do that.

But you kind of know, because we pick up on body language when we don't even realize it.

We're picking up on tons of signs and stuff.

And yeah, you get bad vibes from things.

Like intuition is real.

Like our brain is so much subconscious that we do pick up on things.

Yeah.

We don't consciously go, oh, here's what's happening.

Like we know what's happening sometimes before we know what's happening.

Yeah.

And it's some of the most infuriating parts of life.

And so you sit there and you go, oh, I knew.

I knew.

And I couldn't, either I was denying it or I just was convincing myself or just overlooking it.

And it's so tough, but it's not her fault at all.

I mean, you know.

I mean, a lily on your heart, on your chest, after knowing them for so many years out of nowhere.

It's shifts in behavior, right?

Like, there's no behavior that's suspicious except for complete.

changes.

And you're like, wait, what caused this complete change?

Yeah.

And also just the lousy cover-up of like, oh, you can't come to work because of COVID.

And she's like, it's 2025.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We're out of it now.

No, it's the signs are always there, but I never blame people for not like picking up.

Oh, totally, totally.

Until it's like blatant.

Yep.

Yeah.

And then you look back and you go, oh my fucking God, you had like a billboard saying, yeah.

Yeah.

Like, like, you're right.

It's not her fault, but I, I can totally see her like reflecting and being like, I knew.

Something was up and I didn't follow through on that.

Again, not her fault,

but that's just like the natural human thing to do to be like, I should have known.

I should have said something.

Like she's clearly obviously going through a lot of grief and loss over this marriage and everything.

I can just already also see that as a layer that she's also experiencing.

I think sometimes life though does, it like sets you up so that it hits so hard that you can't deny it anymore.

Like for it to like.

for her to be like, oh, this is happening, this is happening, and then see Lily in person, she's like, don't don't like it's like sometimes life is like no you can't deny it there you go yeah it's right there make sure that the truth comes out yeah right oh i want to know what the what his logic was behind the tattoos even more you know like like we know the logic but i'm just like so blatant so there like i wonder if it was like his way of kind of committing to this affair because she was probably like are you gonna leave your wife whatever and he's like no i'm gonna no but i gotta i got this right here and i got this for our our new child too yeah i'm also like you know, I'm sure his daughter, 18, is going to figure this out.

And it's going to be like, okay, cool.

You got a tattoo for your new child.

Like, cool.

What was he going to do?

That's like, that's kind of what I'm thinking.

I'm like, this is a betrayal.

Like, when you have kids, I'm like, you're betraying your kids too.

Yeah.

Like, there's the added stakes there.

I think you have a great point of like, he kind of already had.

This other woman in terms of his wife.

He's like, oh, we're in a committed marriage.

She's not going anywhere.

I have this kid.

They already love me.

Now that I have an affair and a new kid, I need to prove to them that I'm going to show up for them.

So I'm going to get this tattoo because that's what they need.

They need to just not find out about them.

In his head, he's like, I'm awesome.

Yeah.

No, seriously.

That's exactly what's happening.

Damn.

Update?

No update.

I think she's divorcing the shit out of him.

Yeah, good, definitely.

Yeah.

Unrelated, like, I'm always surprised by like the first tattoo people get and where they get it.

And like, a chest tattoo is a bold first.

Bold.

I think it's cool, but I'm just like, damn.

Like, bold.

People usually get like a small one somewhere where it's like, okay, like, I'm starting out.

Yeah.

But, like, first, right off the bat, bam.

Bold.

Yeah.

Huge.

I don't have a tattoo because I can't think of a tattoo that I want forever.

Like, there's not one that I want.

I'm in the same exact boat.

I love tattoos.

I think they look sick.

See, I think for me, it's kind of like if

I get a tattoo on my body, it's not necessarily important for me that this means something for the whole rest of my life.

It's more just like, even if this just represents the time that I got this tattoo and I was happy about it then, I can just look back and be like, that version of me is really happy with this.

And so I'm going to honor that version.

I've heard that.

And I've also heard once you start.

getting tattoos then you just go you don't care the stakes are lower totally um yeah because i look at like like spencer has a lot of tattoos that i think are sick and it's just like video game and like ninja turtles yeah turtles and and like uh he's got the squirtle squad that looks so sick our final final story whoa this is another confession oof here we go okay I lied to my co-worker about the cupcakes in the break room

classic this is scarily devastating yeah my co-worker can't eat cupcakes because she just got diagnosed with Crohn's disease and is on an elimination diet but she loves to eat she sounded very sad when she warned me that there were cupcakes in the break room so I lied and told her they sucked and were dry, and the icing was crusty, but they were perfectly delicious.

I even mentioned in passing to another co-worker eating cupcakes, who is also aware of her stomach issues, to tell her they sucked.

She later told me that she felt better knowing they weren't that good because she couldn't eat them, but they were good.

I feel bad lying and roping someone else into it.

That's so funny.

Oh my god.

My God.

I've read it.

They were trash.

God.

They were awful.

My life is worse.

I got just remember having eating them.

An email to everyone in the office: the cupcakes are trash.

CC, just the other, it's like, guys, they're actually so funny.

The guy who made them is like, aww.

Yeah.

Fuck you, Jake.

These fucking suck.

Jake's bakery coming 2027.

I guess not.

Aww.

Guys, I made it up.

No, Jake.

This is where, you know, I have such a hard stance against lies.

This is where I struggle.

Because I'm like, you're lying to make someone feel good.

Okay, this is fine.

No, this, it's actually, I'm so glad that you said that.

There's like a, there's a Bollywood movie that there is a line in it, and it's, it's, jis jut se kisi ka kushi hotai, vo jut jut nei he.

Whoa, which means, which means

that was that.

Yeah, you guys got that.

Did you like that?

Got it, that.

It means, like, it roughly translates to like, if the lie is going to make someone happy, it's not a lie.

Which is complete bullshit.

And Bollywood movies, the logic fully sounds.

It makes sense, yeah.

But it's truly like in that movie, it's just full of flooding people with lies to protect them.

Wow.

It's constantly just like, oh, no, no, no, I'm lying because, you know, I don't want you to be hurt by that.

It's a white lie.

It's, yeah.

Is the resolution of the movie at all about that being wrong?

Because if you're seeing a buildup of a lot of lies, oh, it's not.

You didn't finish it?

No, no.

I don't know.

I stopped watching it.

Yeah, no, no.

I turned it off.

No, it's definitely like they go through with that being the full message.

And it's like, this is a story that in a weird way kind of reinforces that, where it's like, you aren't really harming anybody except for Jake and his business, maybe.

Jake's bakery.

Yeah.

It's also, arguably, a subjective lie.

Where it's like, oh, we all think this these suck.

No, we all thought they were good.

It's not an objective lie of like, this isn't happening kind of thing.

I get going up to the person and being like, oh, they suck.

And the person's like, oh, thanks, you know?

And then everything's fine.

For them to go so hard on like, they suck.

They're actually trash.

You know,

I also have this view where it's like, okay, it's a lie that if they uncover the lie, are they going to feel bad or not?

And it's like.

In a way, if I found out that everybody was lying and saying they sucked so that I didn't feel bad, I'd actually be like, okay, that's actually also really chill that you guys did that.

Like, that's sweet.

If finding that out wouldn't make me feel worse, it'd almost make me feel better.

They'd be like, wow, everyone would do that just because I

yeah, I think you have to evaluate who is being harmed.

Is there anybody that is going to be hurt should the truth come out?

Is the lie itself hurting people?

Are you getting people's emotions involved?

Are you going to feel guilty?

Like truly doing an all-around like check-in.

And this lie kind of ends with today because once we move on, it's not like people are going to be talking about the cupcake.

Well, Jake is quitting.

Right.

Jake's switching fields.

I guess I'll be an accountant just like my parents wanted.

I guess I'll work at state.

But I will say, if that was me and everyone lied to say it sucked, I would have been like...

What's wrong with me?

Am I like the one who flips out?

Oh,

yeah.

No, no.

Yeah, it's tricky.

It's tricky.

Comments, this was a lie for good, not evil, though.

Someone said, yeah, not all lies are bad.

This didn't hurt anyone and actually made someone's day better.

So OP, you have absolutely nothing to feel bad over.

Someone else said, this kind of lie is perfectly okay, in my opinion, unless they were made by a coworker.

Then social norms dictate you say nice things because it would get back to who made them.

Context from another comment by OP, the cupcakes came from a different floor, so not made by anyone close or around.

Okay, in that case, unless it gets down to that next floor.

So Jake's like, everyone loved my cupcakes.

He has no idea.

Floor five hated him.

I really like that language of it is a lie, but it's a good lie, or it's a lie for good in that way.

But don't call it not a lie, you know?

So, again, the Bollywood movie is very wrong.

I'm worried about you like taking on this new thing about good lies.

Yeah, all my lies are good.

This is what worries me.

I didn't hurt anybody.

I'm not sure about this message.

Guys, think about it.

I got everybody donuts that day.

That is true.

Yeah, but I watched you be upset that day, and I was like,

Yeah, no,

that part was bad.

That part was bad.

So the donut didn't taste so bad.

But we got closer.

We actually did.

And so now I'm a good person.

Yeah.

Bye.

No, the video's not over.

Thank you both for being here.

Oh, my God.

We love that.

Thank you for watching.

Let us know what are the themes and subreddits you'd like to see on the show.

Let us know in the comments if you're holding back any big lies in your life.

Confess.

Confess in the comments.

And we'll see you next Saturday.

Goodbye.

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