Updates ONLY | Reading Reddit Stories

It seems everyone gets a tip these days.

Deliver food?

Get a tip.

Drive around town?

Get a tip.

Serve a drink?

Get a tip.

But here's one tip that can help you find a higher-paying career.

Merit America can help you get the training and support to find and succeed in an in-demand job, like data analytics, HR admin, or supply chain planning.

It may be the last tip you ever need.

Learn more at meritamerica.org.

Been struggling with brain fog lately?

Try Myco Benefits Focus Capsules from Host Defense, made to support memory, clarity, and mental energy with mushroom mycelium, B vitamins, and more.

Developed by renowned mycologist Paul Stamitz and backed by 40-plus years of research.

They're vegan, gluten-free, and grown in Washington State.

Visit hostdefense.com to find your focus.

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.

These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Hello, and welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories.

I'm Shane, and today's theme, updates.

And before we get into these stories, I have an update for you.

Later today, we have our 100th episode, our live show, and you can get tickets at live.smosh.com.

It's going to be at 4 p.m.

Pacific Standard Time.

Get your tickets, check it out.

And if you're busy today, you can still get your ticket and then watch it anytime until March 23rd.

It's going to be a doozy.

I for one can't wait.

It's going to be.

It's going to be a doozy.

You won't be able to go back there again, that's the truth.

Yeah.

Ian, Damien.

Hey, hello.

Hi.

Thank you for being here.

Hey, we're happy to be here.

Updates are, I mean, it truly is like the greatest gift to mankind.

It's the bread and butter.

And from what I've heard, butter might come up later.

Do you think, do you think when like

do you you think like in the in the 50s,

after

after the after the atomic bomb, the guys that worked on the project was like, update hydrogen bomb.

Ian, you've started this the most Ian way possible.

Hey, butter, that sounds cool.

I've heard that one of the stories later involves butter.

What's y'all's favorite butter?

Drop it in the chat.

I like standard Irish butter.

Irish butter is good.

I once said Irish-fed butter to I think in like a smosh meeting many years ago and someone's like what do you mean like grass-fed butter?

You don't feed the butter, it's the cows.

I'm like, it's called grass-fed butter.

So yeah, kerrygold.

Okay.

Yeah, I got kerrygold at home, but like butter from the Brittany region of France.

Whoa, all right.

Fancy man over here.

That's some that's some high-grade butter with a little little salt

Little salt on the top

Some good stuff.

All right.

Let's get into our first story, shall we?

Yes.

This one comes from relationship advice and also best of editor updates.

Ex-boyfriend and I were van lifeing across country.

He kicked me and all my stuff out last week.

I am now two states away and have his dad's watch.

He's demanding I deliver it to him.

Oh my god.

Okay.

There's a lot to unpack there.

So yeah, like the title says, we were both remote workers and decided that we could van life and see things while still working.

We lasted about a month and last week he flipped out over the way I sipped my coffee and told me I had to leave.

I thought he meant like we would pack up and figure out how to get me home.

No, he meant I needed to get out with all my shit in the middle of a state park in New Mexico and figure it out.

I was scared and pissed so I hurriedly packed everything and got out.

A very nice older couple had heard the screaming and saw me with a pile of my stuff and asked if I needed help.

I said yes and they said they would drive me to Albuquerque in their RV and we could figure out what would happen next.

Well it turns out they're the sweetest people ever and we eventually came to the conclusion that it would be easier for me to travel with them home to Kansas.

And now they've allowed me to stay, paying them insanely fair rent, food, etc.

I just have to edit the wife's book and help the husband with his guitar playing.

Well it turns out in the hurry of packing I grabbed my ex's watch.

That was his dad's.

I got in touch with him and told him I was sorry.

It was truly an accident and I had no intention of keeping it.

How would he like me to get it to him?

He said I needed to meet him in Utah.

I said that was ridiculous.

I could send it to him.

He said that it was too valuable to trust to mail or FedEx and needed to be hand-delivered.

I said I was in Kansas and not coming to Utah, but I would return the watch to his brother when I go home in March.

He said no.

The only solution was for me to drive it to him.

I said I didn't even have a car.

He said, you're probably fucking half of Lawrence.

Use one of theirs.

At that point, I blocked him.

The watch is pretty valuable and has a lot of sentimental value and I will return it.

It was my oversight that I have it in the first place.

What are my obligations to follow his instructions to get the watch back to him?

I feel like she's asking more like on a legal sense.

Yeah.

Like we're both lawyers.

Do I have to give it back to him?

Yeah, okay.

Here's a great way to try to get your stuff belittle the person and say that they're fucking like a whole city.

Yeah, I don't know what

is what he's thinking there.

Like she has the watch, brother.

Well, beyond that, like, we don't know the story that led up to it, but I can't think of many things that would justify abandoning somebody in a place that they have no resources.

Like if that nice RV couple had not come along, that's, that would have been a very dangerous situation.

And it already was.

Like

so many things could have gone wrong.

So

yeah, in my mind, he owes her.

I know this is best of updates.

So it could be like, ooh, I'm a werewolf.

And he didn't know I was like staying in his

van in the first place.

And he heard the coffee and that's because I was hiding.

Look, this is the thing.

She's a nomad.

There's no way he can find her.

Then why he's so angry?

I

r slash nomad.

Oh, I get it.

He's not mad.

Wow, okay.

Thank you.

Pretty good.

Sorry, I'm a little slow.

Was it really the coffee sipping?

Oh, it sounds like they got on each other's nerves immediately.

Yeah.

They lasted a month van lifeing.

Oh, that's right.

But van lifing, it's like, you know, living together with someone is a huge test.

Living in a van

down by the river

together?

Yeah.

No, insane.

Like, that's a lot for some people.

It clearly was too much for them.

I think a lot of people are sold the fantasy of van life without the reality that comes with it.

It's tough.

It's all pushed by big van.

By really big van.

It's a bus, really.

This guy is a massive jerk.

I mean, for one, dumping her off just randomly in just some place

and just leaving her there without a car or anything.

I wouldn't do that to like somebody that I was like even

like remotely close to.

I think there's nothing that can justify that.

Like even if he was like, if his second comment related to something like, I found out that you outside of our relationship slept with five of my closest friends, you can be as mad as you want.

You don't abandon them in the desert.

Like, and I understand that

it's hard, but you're responsible for their shape.

She's extremely lucky.

So is he?

Lucky that someone was able to like pick her up.

It's the beginning of a horror movie.

Yeah.

Lucky that someone was able to pick her up.

And lucky that the people who picked her up weren't serial killers.

Yeah.

I mean, like, it's

anything in the books.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It happened to be a sweet old couple, but like...

What if it's editing the wife's book, but it's bound in like people skin?

Yeah.

Okay, yeah, we kind of glossed over that whole

thing that she was going to edit her book and do what for the husband?

They'll help him play guitar.

What is going on?

I know this is this is a lot.

They're not real.

It's like a Tom Bombadil situation.

Yeah.

They just really need breakfast and it's like, well, welcome to the land of plenty.

I'm the spirit of Middle-earth itself.

She might still be in the desert and she's hallucinating all of this.

So we'll get into some comments.

A lot of users pointed out that this reminded them that they were making comparisons to what happened to Gabby Petito, which shows like the severity of this type of situation.

Other people said, you gave reasonable options.

Let's say he files a police report that you stole it.

You have proof that you contacted him and asked where you could send it.

He declined.

Yeah, it's hard when you're really trying to compromise and someone won't wiggle it all and eventually you're like, I guess that's it.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, if you took this to Judge Judy, I think she would rule in the woman's favor.

Totally.

Someone said, I'd say she needs to stop catering to him.

She has his brother's address.

Send the watch to him, provide him with the tracking number and be done with it.

I've sent the watch to your brother's address.

Here is the tracking number.

It should be there in X amount of days.

Do not contact me further is all she needs to do.

For a guy who stranded her over sipping a coffee, she doesn't need to bend over backwards for this small of a mistake.

That's what I agree with.

And you can also like have like

the receiver sign for it.

Yeah.

And if and if there's nobody there, then they come back later.

Yeah.

Someone said, the guy abandoned you.

You offering to mail it to him is honestly an impressive move on your part.

He's continuing to insult you after you made that very reasonable offer.

Do not meet him in person.

If you do, you're potentially putting your safety at risk.

I agree with that.

Lastly, someone said, leave the watch in the middle of some state park like he did to you.

Yes.

Yes, petty revenge.

There's the argument of being like, I don't have the watch.

Just an iced out lizard.

Sasquatch the photo of Sasquatch.

It's like, whoa, he's got bling.

He's got the Seiko.

You know?

Okay.

What do we think is going to happen next?

Do you think she's going to mail the watch?

Do you think she's going to keep the watch?

Or do you think she's going to go try to meet him?

Oh, gosh.

Are those our only three options?

It could be a secret.

Since this is an update, something tells me.

It seems everyone gets a tip these days.

Deliver food?

Get a tip.

Drive around town?

Get a tip.

Serve a drink?

Get a tip.

But here's one tip that can help you find a higher paying career.

Merit America can help you get the training and support to find and succeed in an in-demand job, like data analytics or HR admin or supply chain planning.

It may be the last tip you ever need.

Learn more at meritamerica.org.

Today, we're exploring deep in the North American wilderness among nature's wildest plants, animals, and

cows.

Uh, you're actually on an Organic Valley dairy farm where nutritious, delicious, organic food gets its start.

But there's so much nature.

Exactly.

Organic Valley's small family farms protect the land and the plants and animals that call it home.

Extraordinary.

Sure is.

Organic Valley, protecting where your food comes from.

Learn more about their delicious dairy at ov.coop.

I feel like if she mails the watch, then the story's over.

So I don't think she's going to mail the watch.

Okay.

I think she might meet him somewhere.

I think she's going to go to mail the watch and she'll get like called back like, can we talk to you about this package real quick?

Like, I think there is something about the watch or whatever you really think there's drugs in that watch not that there's drugs in the watch but like we already know that like sipping coffee is either this is an unreliable narrator which I don't feel right now or he was up to something where it's like you're acting weird and you're gonna draw attention to the van and we've only been doing this for a month like there is something involved that would like tie him to something a murder I don't know it's just interesting he really wants that watch hand delivered that doesn't want the feds involved You're expecting a reveal.

There's going to be a reveal.

Some character development on his part.

Or is it going to be that the book and the songwriter are the there's somebody that we know?

We're like, oh, it's Dr.

Seuss and it's Simon and Garfunkel.

Okay.

Here we go.

Well, so lots of this update came a week later.

Well, so lots of mixed advice, but most people said the best option was to contact his brother.

Before I did that, I decided to unblock my ex just to give him one more chance to give me an address where I could ship the watch.

Actual text conversation.

Me, hey, I'm sorry I blocked you.

I just didn't appreciate the insults, but I want to get your dad's watch back.

Can you let me know where to send it?

I'll pay for shipping, no problem.

Like less than 30 seconds later, he responds, I stashed the watch in your bag because I wanted to prove to myself what an awful person you are and good job at proving me right again.

That is such bullshit.

It doesn't make sense.

That is manipulator.

That is literally contacted and being like, hey, I have your watch.

Can I give it back to you?

Oh, but you won't do it in the exact way that requires you to drive across the whole country, huh?

Now we see who's crazy.

You know, he just fucked up and like the watch got misplaced.

And he's like, actually,

it was a test.

It was a test and you failed.

And you're bad.

You're bad.

I actually believe he did put the watch in there.

I think it's a good idea.

Seriously, I think it's a manipulation tactic.

Now, it doesn't really matter.

I mean, at this stage, because I don't think she should ever be in contact with him again.

She needs to stay away from him.

But I think it's very likely that he's telling the truth as a means of like, kind of like keeping her close.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It also doesn't make sense.

It doesn't make sense.

He's like, you proved me right.

You're a bad person.

It's like, I'm trying to give it back to you, dude.

Yeah.

Well, I got to say, tests always work.

Relationship tests always work out.

Tests everything, everyone, all the time.

All the time.

Trick people, too.

If they tell you something happened, tell them it didn't happen.

Yeah.

After he sends that, she writes, I was like, wow, so many people in the original said that he probably put the watch in my stuff as I was packing in order to force communication and force the opportunity to see him again.

Well, you were exactly correct.

I didn't even respond to his text and blocked him again.

I have no intention of keeping the watch, so I decided now it was time to contact his brother, who along with his wife has always been very nice to me.

He was super appreciative, and we spent a couple days going back and forth figuring out the shipping, but the watch arrived to him on Friday, and all is good.

He even Venmo'd me $1,000 for being so honest, contacting him, etc.

I make really good money, so I told him it wasn't necessary at all, but he insisted, so we agreed to donate it to a food pantry here in Lawrence.

But I'm still

so creeped out thinking about the day when he kicked me out of the van and he was screaming at me, calling me all sorts of names and scheming to stay in touch with me.

He was slamming all my stuff into bags, but that was cover for him hiding the watch.

The fact that it was so deliberate, yet he thought of it so quickly is so scary to me.

We got along so well before we left and he always seemed like such a great guy.

I don't know if the confined space of the van is too much for any couple or if it brought out a side of him I didn't know was there.

Makes me sad and scared at the same time, but relieved it's over.

I wonder how, sorry, go for it.

I think we're about to say the same thing.

Like, how long were they together before they went?

I know.

We don't have that info.

Because it's like, it's like...

You didn't see any kind of signs and this just happened once you started van lifing.

It's tough, man.

I mean, with so many relationships, people,

you have those blinders until you don't.

Sure.

You know, you have those blinders until kind of like the bad thing happens.

And then you're like now aware of that.

Like,

it's almost the difference.

It's, it's, frankly, it makes me think of like what we talk about with so many age gap relationships when like an older guy is dating a younger woman.

And it's like, they're probably not going for a woman in her 30s because she has dealt with a guy like you.

She can clock.

And now she's going to clock it.

So you can't get away with that.

But I think it's different for every person um i also think i would i would question how spontaneous that was when she's like yeah you just thought of it spur of the moment but we're forgetting that he was like ah the coffee you're sipping the coffee like i don't know and i don't want to get like you know too personal for anybody else but like if you've ever been in a relationship where the other person starts being a little bit like

and all of a sudden it's like oh dinner you just want to have dinner on a night and you're like i don't know what this is and then later there's something behind it That for me is like, it sounds like he planned this whole thing of like, I'm going to kick her out and then have her come back.

And like, that's how you do this.

And the fact that he's just like, coffee, you are drinking it with your mouth lips.

Get out.

Like, that's so made up

by him.

Well, I'm glad she's out of it.

Yep.

Oh.

Happy ending.

She got $1,000 out of it.

And she got a thousand who gives somebody $1,000 for just like a simple task.

So we believe from the comments that it might might have been a Rolex.

Okay.

But still,

it's just like she just shipped.

She still just shipped a watch.

Here's $1,000.

Like, they're not going to get $1,000 from their watch.

But it's also their dad's watch then.

It's the brother.

It's the sentimental value.

It's

about the family thing.

Yeah.

And that's the thing that Baby No Money has for the brunch, and he has the paddock for the show.

Oh, okay.

Yep.

Yeah.

He's got the roly for the brunch.

Crazy.

You're best friends with them now.

I can just say it.

Yeah.

I didn't know that's what he said in that part.

Yeah.

He's got a got a roly for the brunch and a paddock for the show.

Okay.

I always say, got a rolling roller brunch for the show.

Yeah, he said, right, yeah.

Damn, he's going to claim us now.

Now he's going to take all the money from this episode.

Yeah.

And then he's baby money man.

Yeah, now he's baby with money.

Baby with money.

Baby Branzy's money colon reloaded.

Okay, our next story.

comes from PH Careers, a subreddit dedicated to careers in the Philippines.

Oh,

yeah, and it ended up on Best Redditor Updates.

My boss just haha reacted to my message asking for a raise.

Ooh, you gotta kill him.

I don't know your boss.

I posted here a while ago asking if having 13K as a salary as a software developer was enough.

I'm a graduating student, and this company hired me after my internship.

When I accepted the role, I expected to do the same tasks I did during my internship, so I thought the pay was fair but then they gave me more complex tasks like creating a payroll system which meant studying thousands of lines of code hundreds of tables and the whole process from scratch mind you it's just me and my senior in the team I took it as a challenge and slowly learned to enjoy it but now I feel like the minimum isn't enough because I'm handling so many projects and my tasks have leveled up a lot today I finally got the guts to message my boss to ask if a raise was possible.

I was polite, just asking if it could be considered and explaining why I felt I deserved it.

She just haha reacted and even sent a heart eyes emoji.

I don't know if it was sarcastic, but I was just asking a simple yes or no question.

I didn't even mention a specific amount.

Now I feel like I'm being treated like shit.

As much as I want to leave immediately, I still need the money, but this really motivated me to start looking for another job as soon as possible.

Okay,

according to one user, 13,000 in the Philippine peso is close to 224 American dollars.

A year.

So they're not being paid 13,000 USD in the Philippines.

They're paying 13,000

Philippine pesos.

Philippine pesos.

Got it.

Which totals $224 American dollars.

Well, we'll have to assume that it's probably not a great wage.

No,

and she's not happy with it, right?

But also Philippines mention.

Air, air, air, air.

I hope somebody just puts a lot of like

stuff.

Hell yeah.

Like a halo, halo.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jolly bee.

So she, she texts her boss going, hey, can I get a raise?

Would a raise be possible?

And the boss texts back, ha ha, heart eyes emoji.

Yeah.

Ha ha.

I don't understand the heart eyes emoji, but yeah.

But I mean, when you texted me for a raise, I sent you the little monkey emoji.

You did.

And I felt like that was pretty clear.

Yeah.

Dance for it.

Dance, monkey, dance.

Dance harder.

Dance, you, man.

That's weird.

I feel like the haha would have been disrespectful on its own, but the heart eyes makes me think, did they mean to respond to this message?

It might have been an accident.

I'm getting the sense that this is an accident.

I think I made two mistakes in the past few minutes here.

One, I went too crazy detailed with what I thought the update was.

Is two, I don't think we're supposed to be solving a mystery here.

I think I'm just supposed to listen and talk about it.

I was like, maybe she was actually going on here.

Let's read these comments first.

Your boss is deflecting the conversation at hand.

13k as you're already aware is too low, especially as a starting salary.

Immediately drop your job as your priority in life and prioritize getting a job that knows your worth.

Someone else said save up while planning your exit strategy.

Don't make it obvious.

Lastly, this is translated from Filipino.

Those who work at McDonald's are paid even more.

Okay.

So I wanted to get a baseline of like, what is this?

And so it sounds like this person's really getting screwed.

They're making payroll systems.

They are learning whole lines of code.

They are having to teach themselves new skills.

They're not being compensated for that.

They're being absolutely used here

and disrespected by their boss.

And at the very least, it might have been an accidental text, but the boss should have followed up by being like, sorry, that was an accident.

Let me

consider your proposal.

I would agree, but even those, like, I have had moments where like I will be scrolling, like, where's that text?

And I'll be like, oh, I never texted my friend.

Who did I text?

And then I'll scroll down and be like, oh, I sent that to the wrong person like a week ago.

They must have been so confused.

And now this other person must be mad at me.

So at best, I think they were like talking to someone completely different at the time and just picked up their phone, responded, and then.

Yeah.

I could see the ha-ha being being the response.

I could see it.

I mean, it's not a good response.

No, it's a bad response.

But the hard eyes, I think the hard eyes might have been for somebody else.

But I think we'll find out very soon, very shortly.

I'm going to throw out one more before we do.

Okay.

I think this boss is actually being so supportive.

It's the ha-ha is like a belly laugh, like, ha, ha!

And then they're going, their eyes are hearts because they're like, I love that you've come into your own and found your word.

That's good.

They're like, I was going to pay you dirt until you recognized what you're worth.

They're like one of those weird TikTokers that, what do you think your tip should be?

And they're like, just 20% is fine.

They're like, I would have given you a million dollars.

and that's the lesson you should have known damn damn i can't believe that content exists that

it's very real it's very rough okay

update from two days later Thank you for the advice and for giving me a reality check.

Here's an update on my story.

I waited two days for a proper response, but I guess that was her response.

Regardless, I had already planned to resign and was just looking for another job to transition into.

Just a day after posting this, I was able to quickly land an international client from OLJ.

OLJ is an open resume and job posting board who is paying me four times my monthly salary.

That's so.

The task seems easier than my usual work, at least in theory, but I still have some concerns since the tools are new to me and different from what I am used to.

However, I believe we grow the most from challenges that scare us, and stepping out of our comfort zone is where real learning happens.

So thanks for motivating me to apply.

Haha.

I immediately submitted my resignation.

My boss later replied, apologizing apologizing for the late response and saying she was actually considering my request.

She could have mentioned that when I first asked instead of just reacting with a haha and an emoji though, LOL.

She then asked if I could at least work reduced hours as many of their clients had started with me.

That made me smile because suddenly she saw my worth.

Yet, when I initially asked for a raise, it seemed like I was not even worth a simple reply.

not even a two or three letter response like yes or no.

Unfortunately, I did not do what some of you suggested.

Ha ha reacting to her message or replying with just an emoji instead.

I told her that I had already made up my mind and kept it polite because I did not want to burn any bridges as I still appreciate the experience I gained from the company.

Thank you all for helping me realize my worth.

I have learned my lesson and will never go through that again.

Very nice.

That's very heartfelt.

That would have been so funny though to just be like, ha ha.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ha ha.

I think that would have fallen into the category though.

It was a few Reddit stories back when you you were like, and then on the plane, everyone cheered when I said this thing and I stood up and everyone's like, yeah.

That would have been too much.

So yeah, I like what Spencer said of like, you know, when you go all Reddit on them.

Yeah.

And it's true.

It's like, you see some comments like living out the fantasy.

Yeah.

And it's like, I respect what she's doing where she's like, I.

I'm leaving.

I'm screwed.

They're screwed over on like a real level.

Yeah.

I can just walk away and not have any sort of like.

Absolutely.

yeah a hundred percent if the only thing holding you back from uh like your entire company falling apart is one person googling am I getting taken advantage of like right not the best system a lot of companies and and I mean like even if that boss was considering a raise there was no way it was gonna be even close to what this person's making at this new job no no it's like yeah just like I think that was a really good move of just be like no I'm just gonna keep it professional I'm just gonna leave no drama because I think like some people they you know, they really want to have that moment.

And it's like, you don't know where you're going to be in five years.

You might need a reference and you want to leave a good impression when you leave a place of employment.

I agree.

Not that the person doesn't deserve it.

No.

It's just a matter of like

being strategic.

Yeah.

It's your career.

It's an investment.

You are sacrificing a little bit of personal satisfaction now to be like, and another thing, but you you could really benefit later, right?

Totally, especially like as young as that person is.

Like, you don't know where you're going to be in 10 years.

Totally.

Well, it sounds like even after they graduate, they're still a student because they're always learning.

Hell yeah, dude.

Hell yeah, and everyone clapped.

This next story comes from relationship advice and also best of editor updates.

Okay.

All right, expected update on this one.

Well, the last one was just very sweet, but I remember where I started

versus like, and I got a better job.

So this could be crazy this is a 24 year old woman my boyfriend who's 30 keeps disappearing into the bathroom for an hour or more with a stick of butter and the butter is gone when he finally comes out oh no

I was like I was like guys look he could be oh it's gone because at first I was like look I love Infinity Nikki Final Fantasy VII Never Christ is like the mobile games are on point fire emblem heroes I can be on the toilet right but the butter some people I hear about some people really go into the bathroom and they're there for like an hour.

I used to have stomach problems, but even before then, I would do that.

I would like, as a teenager, I would have my PSP and just be like, this is like a PlayStation in my hands.

I'm just going to keep being here.

I don't, I haven't seen this in probably over a decade, but like, there used to be like magazines in bathrooms.

Sure it is, yeah.

And it's like, it's like, I'm like, people really sat and like read magazines.

Well, you didn't have a phone.

Right, before phones.

You're just like chilling in there.

Readers digest.

Readers readers digest

is that what it's from

no way

no there's no way it's readers digest because it's from the bathroom i believe so that's such bullet emily if if that's not true then you need to go on tick tock and lie and spread that lie everywhere you gotta go time travel and have a tight

you're like

tires matter they're the only part of your vehicle that touches the road and they're responsible for so much acceleration braking steering and handling tread confidently with new tires from Tire Rack.

Whether you're looking for expert recommendations or know exactly what you want, Tire Rack makes it easy.

You'll get fast, free shipping, free road hazard protection, and convenient installation options.

Try mobile installation.

They'll bring your new tires to your home or office and install them on site.

Tire Rack has the best selection of tires from world-class brands, and they don't just sell tires, they test them on the road and on their test track.

Learn how the tires you want tackle evasive maneuvers, drive and stop in the rain, or just handle your everyday commute.

Go to tirerack.com to see their tire test results, tire ratings, and consumer reviews.

And be sure to check out all the current special offers.

That's tirerack.com.

Tirerack.com.

The way tire buying should be.

Today, we're exploring deep in the North American wilderness among nature's wildest plants, animals, and

cows.

Uh, you're you're actually on an Organic Valley dairy farm where nutritious, delicious, organic food gets its start.

But there's so much nature.

Exactly.

Organic Valley small family farms protect the land and the plants and animals that call it home.

Extraordinary.

Sure is.

Organic Valley, protecting where your food comes from.

Learn more about their delicious dairy at ov.coop.

Are we gonna get an update?

She's so locked up in the middle.

Someone told that to you and you believed it and you have held that information.

This is like an ocean's water.

How long have you been just going through that?

Did someone tell you that in middle school,

Emily?

Emily, I love how often that happens to all of us.

But guys, guys, guys, all right, look,

we have a huge, we have a big audience here.

Now we have the chance to do something really funny.

We can do that.

Everyone, everyone, go out right now and tell people it's called Reader's Digest because

it used to be in the bathrooms.

So you're like digesting your food and you're reading yeah yeah to everyone watching and listening let's spread a huge lie let's do it

like we don't do that at night

here's the deal Emily one loved the enthusiasm with which you were sharing like a fun fact and I'm sorry that it turned so strongly on the sine wave straight to the other direction um we all have done this though it's the thing where it's like oh you swallowed your gum that's gonna take seven years it's like no no it isn't and then you when you really think about it you're like oh there's no way if I ate a quarter I'd poop it out like it's all those things.

Can I say, Emily said that to us with so much conviction.

Yeah.

She immediately goes

on the computer, and it's like when they're in the elevator in severance.

I watched her entire perspective on life shift.

I've been living a lie.

That's an easy one to hold for a long time, because when do we think about readers' digest?

Never.

Never.

All right.

Let's get into this story.

Yeah, let's see if this can stop, if this can top ourselves.

Before we get into this, what's happening with the butter?

i don't remember what happened oh okay

i was like the store the boyfriend is going into the bathroom with a stick of butter he's in there for an hour or two and comes out with no butter i'll tell you exactly what it is man just loves butter and he's embarrassed about it i think he's just going in there and eating and he's just going

like you know the hot dog shooter yeah somehow

somehow that's the most innocent option here i guarantee you that's what's happening some people just love butter i'm gonna pull the retin link because that was what i was gonna guess but now to keep it interesting, I'll keep it the opposite.

I think the man has a hard time with digestion issues and he has the thought of just

greasing it up.

I was going to say greasing it up, but honestly,

no, I think that's rough.

I think

that's awesome, dude.

I was going to say it with full conviction, but I really, honestly, I think he's just eating butter.

Okay, I think he needs gamer fuel.

I think he's playing a mobile game and he needs energy.

Two votes for eating the butter.

I'm just going to say he's doing something

else.

Shane, one way or another, it's going inside this man.

I don't know if

he's eating it or it's making its own way down.

Smith is made of butter at this point.

He's just like, it puts the butter on his skin.

Yeah, that movie was influential to a lot of people.

Oh, no.

Okay.

Okay.

I have been dating my boyfriend for two years and we finally moved in together.

Ever since we moved in, I have seen a new side of him.

It's a very odd issue and I can't wrap my head around what to do.

At first, I started to notice butter was disappearing quickly.

I assume maybe I lost track of how much we had or maybe he was cooking when I wasn't around.

I don't know.

But one night a few weeks ago I saw him try to stealthily take a stick of butter from the fridge which I pretended not to notice and he took the butter with him into the bathroom.

Now, I have noticed my boyfriend spending an hour or more of time in the bathroom since we moved in, but I never saw him take the butter before.

I was so confused.

When he came out of the bathroom about an hour later, I saw no sign of the butter, but I also saw he did not put the butter back in the fridge it was gone i tried to subtly keep an eye on him and over a week he did this three separate times and each time a stick of butter disappeared finally i said one day where did all of our butter go i hardly used any this week and it's gone he pretended to not know and said maybe we had forgotten to buy it i said no we had four sticks before now they are gone he just acted like it was a mystery and said guess we should order up some groceries he began sweating profusely and said Butter, I hardly know her.

Then he ran out the front door.

She likes, he's sweating, and she's just like,

Yeah.

That's butter.

Oh, I saw, I read something about some guy that was like eating a ton of like meat and butter and cheese.

And like, that's keto.

He was like sweating out like white stuff out of his pores.

It might be blue.

I'm so mad that I know that.

And you know that reader's digest note.

Yeah, yeah.

By now, I was getting very confused.

So I ordered groceries and made a point of saying, good to finally have four sticks of butter.

This should last us quite a while.

And he's just like,

yeah.

He made no comment.

On the first two days, whenever I used a small amount of butter, I would remark about how much butter we had left.

Finally, one day I saw him do it again.

He took a stick of butter into the bathroom, was gone for an hour or so, and came back with no butter.

I couldn't believe it.

So when I made dinner, I acted shocked that one stick of butter was gone.

He said maybe we only had three, but he knew I'd been making a point of it.

The very next day, another stick of butter was gone.

I listened at the bathroom door and heard sink water running and thought I heard moaning noises.

I was so confused.

Finally, this time when he came out, I said, I know he has been taking butter into the bathroom.

He got all flustered and said I must be mistaken, but I said I had literally seen him take butter into the bathroom and come out without it, and that I know he's been lying to me about the quantity of butter in our fridge.

He then started apologizing for being misleading but said let's just not talk about it.

And when he saw I was getting mad he said what if I just order my own separate private butter?

He just needs to just tell us what you're doing with the butter.

Or if you have a butter shame of some kind you need to have your own private stash in the first place.

Yeah.

Don't start the but like as a partner I I would need to know because I'm worried about this person's safety.

I know.

I think y'all just need to talk to your partners.

Like that's half of of these Reddit stories is like, I was trying to solve the butter ass mystery and I'm like, just

ask.

Just ask him now.

He's saying he doesn't want to talk about it,

but he goes, So she's like, I was like, okay, but what are you doing with the butter?

He asked me to promise him to never ask about his butter activities again and to just put it behind us.

He said, just look the other way on this one thing and stressed how it is not a big deal at the end of the day.

I was like, okay, I guess.

But I have been so confused and even disturbed about it.

Like, what is he doing with the butter?

Why was he lying about it?

Why won't he tell me?

I don't even think he's eating it because he's not an overweight guy.

And I feel like if somebody ate that much butter, they'd become hefty, but he shows no signs of it.

I'm just like, who is this guy?

Am I overreacting?

It is just so odd.

I see him in a different light and I am not sure what to do.

Should I just ignore it?

That's insane.

No.

You caught him butter-handed.

I think, unfortunately, this is similar.

We had a story about a jar of peanut butter that, you know.

Okay.

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

I think I remember that.

Yeah.

They were doing gay stuff, right?

They were doing peanut butter stuff.

I thought there was some other story we listened to where it was like people in a room and they were like, they're like, oh, it's so good.

Oh, no, that was with

trying hummus for the first time.

Oh, it was the hummus.

I lied to my parents.

He said, I tried hummus.

That's right.

Link to the episode, but later.

No, so there was a story where a roommate was using a peanut butter jar for reasons and then putting it back in the pantry.

That's insane.

So my inclination is to blow it up.

But also like,

how was it?

We don't know.

But my inclination is that this guy is using the butter for sexual purposes.

Yeah, here's my question.

She's obviously looking around the bathroom after this being like, what the fuck happened?

Like, can I figure out with my Sherlock Sherlock mind space what is going on here?

Where's the wrapper?

Butter, you cannot grab a just stick of and go, there is a wrapper.

So unless he's discreetly unwrapping it, that would be,

I don't think you can flush like a waxed paper.

No, you should.

Not good.

Well, you could.

Not good for those pipes.

Yeah.

I'm also amazed.

It's not good for his pipes.

He's not, he's not eating it, right?

No, we don't know that.

We don't know

while eating.

I'm just saying, she's saying she doesn't believe he's eating it, but the butter is gone.

Yes.

Now she is saying that she's heard moaning and the sink running and the sink running.

Now, if he's not eating it, how he's making the butter completely disappear is, I mean, this is the pretty.

The true magic trick.

They need to get pen and tell her on the phone.

Yeah.

She also did have the line in there of like, I just can't believe.

And I was like, it's not butter.

Like, it's too well set up.

So much of this is very, I will say, like,

properly written of you must be mistaken about the butter.

This is all weird.

I mean, if I was a nurse, I'd be like yeah he put it up his butt yeah it's like nurses they find all sorts of crazy things up people's butt

all the time people people be doing that not butter but I'm still but I'm still thinking I'm still thinking the dude is just eating butter and he's just ashamed of it for some reason like there's a I mean like there's a lot of people that have fixations on certain kinds of foods my friend eats rocks so like

your friend from Neverending Story

we were we clocked the same thing no I was gonna say it was a mountain goat because they just like that salt.

Do they eat?

They like salt and they lick rocks.

Pigeons also eat stones.

And pigeons make milk.

What?

Pigeon milk?

Yep.

Interesting.

Okay, there was one comment.

Someone said, okay, what the fuck?

And someone replied to that saying, butter is the fuck.

Butter might be the fuck.

Before we get into this update.

There's one producer note here left by Emily, and she says, I learned a lot today about butter stuff with an unhappy face.

Butter stuff.

So the comments had a lot of theories.

We're not going to read them.

Can I guess one more thing?

Go ahead.

So sorry.

She said she heard moaning, but she may not recognize his moaning.

I think under the sink there is a horrible monster man.

And he has to feed him butter.

Only he has to feed him butter because that's the most like calorie dense.

Okay.

Oh.

That's possible.

Little troll down there.

I have a theory, but I don't need to express it.

I think we're about to find out anyways.

Yeah.

All right.

Update.

Are we finally getting it?

Are we finally uncovering the mystery?

So this is posted a day later and it's posted to Today I fucked up.

Today I fucked up by confronting my boyfriend who kept secretly bringing sticks of butter into the bathroom for an hour or more and coming out without the butter.

This morning I said, look, yes, you should buy private personal butter for your activities, but I said, I need to know what you do with the butter.

He got very quiet and then he said, fine, I'll tell tell you just this once.

And he told me.

He told me everything.

I was so mortified and confused.

I cannot tell you what it is, but I will say it is a sensual activity, extremely sensual.

It is definitely an inappropriate use of butter.

I cannot even type what it is due to how graphic it is.

On one hand, it's just butter, but on the other, I can no longer see him the same way.

I am staying with my parents.

Oh.

To make matters worse, a friend of his his found my other post and sent it to him saying, LOL, this must be about you.

I guess he used to do it in college too, and he is furious.

And now other people I know in real life know what he does with butter.

He is angry at me for exposing his butter-based proclivities.

Now I have probably ruined my relationship and everyone knows my business, causing me shame and humiliation.

I can't believe what he does with butter though, and I don't think I can be with somebody who does things like that.

I can't say I can't believe.

She said it like nine times.

Yeah.

I consider it a momentous fuck-up for me to have ever confronted him about it.

This is my mistake because I can never unknow what I know.

So that means that she,

if she didn't, she'd be fine not knowing this and continuing that just knowing it, she can't.

Yeah.

Yeah, because once you, once you,

it changes your whole way you see somebody.

Pandora's butter.

Unfortunately, my brain is just thinking of every single possibility.

I'm thinking of like two different...

I can't think of that.

I'm like that and things that are on type.

There's something I'm thinking of.

Yeah, I think he's lubricating something in the bathroom and then using it.

Making the water go down the sink faster.

Yeah, exactly.

Look, taking the oddness of this specific proclivity aside.

No, it's unusual.

Sure.

In a relationship, you are entitled to privacy.

You are entitled to still have your own separate life, but there has to be communication.

You know,

there was no communication, and obviously, something happening, and there's a break in trust there.

And I'm being so real about this.

When you know, she was like, You're doing something that you can't tell me about, and it makes me uncomfortable because you're in there for a long time, and I'm not allowed to know, and we live together.

And supposedly, they would keep living together for the long haul if everything works out.

So, it is a lack of communication.

Like, yes, it's whatever it is, is something that I probably haven't heard of before, before, and it's unusual, and we're laughing, and like, I get it, but it does,

you just have to be communicative again.

Do you think he put his balls in his butt?

Shane?

What?

I mean, she's specifically saying that he's doing something with the butter, right?

That what he's doing to butter, she can't like move.

Well, we don't know.

Like, maybe he just like flushes it down as he's, I I don't know.

It's a whole stick of butter.

Because, like, trust me, like, if he's doing anything with that butter, like, lubricating something, I'm glad he doesn't put it back.

Well, yeah, I think you missed the core concept of the issue.

It's a whole stick of butter.

Yeah.

Whatever it is, I don't think there's a shower going on after that.

So, like, I don't know, man.

This is.

Man, we can think all we want.

It doesn't matter.

Maybe I've got a real good sniffer for food.

If I smell butter, I go, there butter in here.

Like, I don't think you can walk around, and that's my catchphrase, and I've always said it.

I don't think you can do something with butter, not shower, not leave a wrapper behind, and then just walk around, just be like, hey, everybody, what's up?

Be like, I'm sorry, why do you smell literally like Pam butter spray?

Like,

I do feel bad for the guy that this somehow someone knew and like now this is like everywhere.

That's also not her fault.

Yeah,

debatably though, because I know you're going to Reddit for advice, but we all know it's pretty damn public at this point.

And like, again, he should have communicated with his romantic partner that he's living with,

not shaming him for that, but like, it is his own private business, whether it's the butt or not.

It's like, who cares?

That's your business, that's your life.

It does suck that whatever it is can't be typed, and now his friends know.

I guess.

On that note, her first post, when she's truly, innocently like, I don't know what's going on here.

This is so confusing.

And she doesn't think it's going to be anything.

But the second post, she does go, and she's posting that, oh, people have already found out who he is, but then also still posting publicly saying what he's doing with it is so wild.

I can't think of him the same way.

So she is kind of doubling down.

What if he is just eating it?

You know?

And she's just

shocked.

I can't ever look at you the same way.

She's like, you're not supposed to eat it.

Just showed up your butt.

You'll get the calories if you eat it.

This story, because it's about the butter, it's funny.

I think there's a very real version of this story: of like when it comes to what people are into, like any activities they do.

And it's tough because in a relationship, people might discover something about their partner.

Their partner might even share it willingly and be like, hey, I can't.

This is hard for me to handle.

I'm not into this.

And that's okay for it to be a deal breaker, but it's also like the guy needs to find someone who's okay with what he does with butter and maybe even can be a participant in some way.

And there might be someone out there.

The world is large.

There's somebody else there that likes putting butter up there, but I'm sure.

And you know what?

I've actually heard a stand-up comedian make a joke about that like offhandedly, which makes me think like, oh, maybe that is a thing.

There's a community out there.

There's probably a community out there.

Little Butterboys.

Our next one comes from r slash little butterboys.

All right.

Our final story, and I'm a little confused by it.

I'm not sure what this means.

Sound it out.

It comes from relationship advice.

I, a 36-year-old woman, found out that my husband, who's 38, has a Camilla, a 42-year-old woman, a Camilla.

What is the Camilla situation?

I don't know.

If I can recall.

Okay.

Because I watched The Crown.

It is good, good.

So

Prince

Charles, yes, Prince Charles in the 90s.

I was like, well, you tried.

Prince Charles in the 90s was in love with Camilla.

Like, they were, he wanted to be married to her, but he was told he couldn't because the royal family was like, no, you can't.

You got to marry Princess Diana.

And he's like, all right, I will.

But he treated her like shit because he just wanted to be with Camilla.

So then, as soon as Princess Diana is dead, he's immediately with Camilla.

But I also know this fact that Camilla wanted to wear,

she had to wear gray to her wedding because the queen wore white, or she wanted to wear whatever she wanted to wear that I think the queen wore, and you're not allowed to dress how the queen dresses at the wedding.

So the queen like fully shaded her so nobody gets to wear this.

Yes, dude, the royal families just think and it's something like fucked up.

It's something like that, like so many levels.

All right.

So, what do this animal

and this animal

and this animal

have in common?

They all live on an Organic Valley farm.

Organic Valley dairy comes from small organic family farms that protect the land and the plants and animals that live on it from toxic pesticides, which leads to a thriving ecosystem and delicious, nutritious milk and cheese.

Learn more at OV.coop and taste the difference.

Want to pull off the season's freshest trends?

You just need the right shoes.

That's where Designer Shoe Warehouse comes in.

Loving wide-legged jeans?

Pair them with sleek, low-profile sneakers.

Obsessed with the sheer trend?

Try it with mesh flats.

Feeling boho?

Comfy sandals nail the whole free-spirited thing.

Find on-trend shoes from the brands you love, like Birkenstock, Nike, Adidas, and more at DSW.

Here, let's get into this.

You came in!

We'll have like crumpets go across the screen.

I've been married to my husband for two years now.

It's a first marriage for both of us.

His family has been very good to me.

They immediately accepted me, welcomed me in, started including me in family events, really made it not even a second thought to say yes when he proposed after a year of us being together.

I noticed on social media that there are always likes from a teenage boy on posts that he puts up about me.

I thought it was a bit weird that he's friends with a teenager, so I looked through the photos I could see on his profile.

There are a few with my husband from about eight to ten years ago, as well as another woman.

When I asked my husband, he said that the boy is his ex-girlfriend's son.

He explained that they were very serious but that she had ended up getting married to someone else.

This seemed odd to me, so I asked my mother-in-law about her the next time I saw her.

My mother-in-law rolled her eyes and said, don't even mention Val.

I am so glad that you came along because that girl was so bad for him.

She was unemployed, a single mother, and just very trashy.

We never would have accepted her.

I am very successful career-wise and well-established.

My family is very prominent in the community and well-regarded.

The more I thought about it, the more it really felt like my background had more to do with things than anything.

I asked my husband about Val again and asked if he would have married her if not for his family.

He said that one of the biggest reasons she chose someone else was because his family refused to accept her.

When I asked what was different about me, he responded, she was Camilla and you're Diana.

I asked him if that meant he would marry her if anything happened to me.

He shook his head, laughed, and said I was being ridiculous and that he didn't think like that.

I told him I wanted him to remove and block his ex and her son from his social media immediately and to stop communicating with them.

He's told me that he has a cordial relationship with both of them and that he doesn't feel it's fair for me to ask him to cut them out.

Is there a good way for me to deal with this knowledge?

I'm losing sleep over the fact that I feel like a placeholder that is there to please his family and that he'll go back to her once his parents are gone.

I'm starting to double to doubt every interaction I ever had with him.

When I bring it up to him, he gets upset and tells me to stop dwelling on his past.

I wish that I'd never known this because I feel like all of my happiness has been drained.

Is there any good way to approach this?

That's

yeah.

Well, he shouldn't have said the Camilla Diana thing.

I almost think this is one of those situations where it's, it's like a gift.

It's like he told you flat out

how he feels about you.

You, you should,

I think that's one of those situations where I'm like, you should go.

Like, no, you think so?

He, I, he inferred that, like, yes, I would rather be with this person, but I'm with you.

Yeah.

That is what he said.

Like, well, she got married.

The Camilla of the story.

She got married to someone else.

She's married to someone else now, like, doing their own life.

Like, I think, I

don't think it's an issue.

I think it was an issue that he worded it that way.

I think that was really stupid.

That was one of those, that was one of those, like, you know, us guys, sometimes we say just like one line that's just like, shouldn't have said that you're saying maybe he doesn't understand the severity of what he said yeah maybe it's like um oh i was with someone but now i'm with you and then it my question is like how well used of a phrase is that in the uk or something you know just because like i didn't know the severity and i it

i think i think like also like

yeah i mean

he probably loved her and then life moved on.

Like, it's possible for him to have loved her and love his new wife just as much.

Like, I don't think there's, I don't think there's any issue with that.

I think what he said was really stupid.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And was not like,

he didn't take her feelings into consideration and what that would do to her.

Right.

But I think,

I think, yeah, she's, she's got to get.

She has to get past this.

If she doesn't, then it's going to eat at them until it's over.

So there's already a trust issue there about like the past.

And it doesn't matter if it's like true or not.

It's going to become true or be true just because of how sort of it's impacted her.

I think she needs clarity and communication on surprise, surprise, on that specific phrasing.

Because there are also situations where it's like, oh, why did you and your ex break up?

It's not always going to be like, because actually now we hate each other.

It's like, oh, well, she wanted to stay in Seattle and I was going to be moving to the Midwest for my job.

We just knew it wouldn't line up.

And it's like, well, would you be together if you both lived in the same house?

Like, yeah, but we don't.

So now we're together and we're happy.

Like, because those hypotheticals could eat at you

forever.

Yeah.

Some comments.

Someone said, considering Charles cheated on Diana with Camilla, that was quite possibly the worst analogy he could have made.

Someone else said, tell him that his analogy made things a thousand times worse as Diana was obviously nothing to Charles but someone his family would accept, but who he personally didn't care about.

As a result of said atrocious analogy, you have lost a lot of faith in the strength of your relationship.

And if he wants this marriage to work out, he will at least remove them from his socials for now and attend marriage counseling with you.

Someone else said, I couldn't be married to someone who told me that.

He basically told you that he wanted to be with her, but you're acceptable to his family.

I guess what we're saying, though, is this

at least calls for a lot more conversation.

Absolutely.

Like to be like, hey, we need to talk about what you said.

Also, yeah, I guess that's also like,

how well do you know the

Diana Camilla story?

Right.

Because like, did he just think it was just simply parents didn't accept her, so he found somebody else?

Because these other people that are commenting clearly know more about the story and they're like, oh, he like cheated on her with Camilla and did all this other stuff.

And maybe she knows the story better than he does.

And he's just like, oh, one woman, another woman, that's the story.

I'm also assuming if these people live in the UK, I'm assuming that's a much more well-known story.

Tons of people here in America just don't really know it.

I mean, he's 38.

He's 38, so it's actually

a known thing.

Like, I mean, I knew of it when I was a kid, so if he was a little bit older than me, like, he definitely knew it.

And also, like, you know, in America, it's just like, oh, we know Marilyn Monroe was, you know, with JFK, like that was a thing, you know.

And so it could just be a casually known thing.

My big focus here is on, like, you have to block your ex.

And usually for me, it's like there's no reason why people on good terms couldn't be friends with an ex and like stay following and keep in touch.

Like, oh, I saw you have this thing.

I hope everything's good.

But sort of where they're at now is the trust has been broken.

Yeah.

Whether it's bad phrasing or not, they have to work on it under.

their individual terms of like, we got to go to therapy and you got to block them.

And then you earn it back and then you talk about it later.

But like if your marriage is your priority, even though it's not great to be asked to block somebody, there's a specific reason why for this one, not just like any ex.

You know what I mean?

I see that.

Yeah.

I see that.

Well, let's get to this update.

Oh, there's an update.

Okay.

Okay, so this update came 20 days later.

You know, a divorce could happen in 20 days.

So 20 days later,

do you think they're going to make it?

Is one question.

Gosh.

Do you think he's cheating on her?

Is another one.

Oh.

I think the kid is his son.

Ooh,

that's a good possibility.

How old's the kid?

And when were they together?

I mean, like, I'm going to be really disappointed if they, if this, like, broke up the relationship.

I think he's an idiot,

but I don't think that he was being malicious.

If there's no other reveals,

then yeah.

Yeah.

I think he could also be.

very specifically not meaning that with the phrase.

Like he could be just an idiot and he's just like, oh, no, it's my two favorite characters from Steven Universe Right and you're just like no, that's a wonderful show, but I'm not talking about them right

yeah, okay, let's see Thank you to everyone who responded to my previous post a lot has gone down since I posted and not much of it has been good to be honest I'm starting to wish that I'd left well enough alone, but I guess I'm stuck now So I sat down with my husband and told him that this whole val thing was really bothering me that I had never heard her name before for someone he held in such high regard He explained that she had cheated on him and had married the guy she cheated with.

They stopped speaking for a while, but they started being cordial again as she was having problems in her marriage and through her divorce.

He swears on his life that there's only friendship there, that he can't ever forgive her, and that he has no interest in her romantically anymore.

We share location history on our phones and have cameras on our house, so I know he's not lying about seeing her.

My husband was my first in a lot of ways, everything except my first kiss, so I tend to be a bit more jealous than others.

My husband has more of a past and it makes me very uncomfortable even though I know it's a reality that I have to accept.

I'm also diagnosed as on the autism spectrum, so I tend to be socially awkward and miss certain cues, which caused me not to really have close relationships up until him.

I was over at my parents' house telling my mother about Val.

She kept telling me not to worry, that everyone has a past and that he obviously chose me.

Little background, my father is a girl dad.

I'm the third of four girls.

He's been my protector my whole life and he will go after anyone that hurts me.

Dad overheard mom and me and came into the kitchen.

Are you serious right now?

He's talking to Val again.

I'm going to asterisk him.

I asked my father how he knew about Val.

I looked at my mother and she was looking at him with a horrified look.

He said he overheard us and it's not right for him to talk to other women.

They tried to talk around it, but I demanded an answer and they finally relented.

Okay.

My mother admitted that they had arranged my marriage.

Whoa,

baby!

Secret third thing.

It's a secret thing.

And wow, of all the ones.

I gotta take a lap for this one.

Of all the ones.

Wow.

Of all the ones that have a crazy movie though.

Is this the last one?

Let's go.

Okay, because I was about to be like, oh, okay, I can talk a little bit about my experience being on the spectrum.

I can see how she's stuck there.

This is a secret third thing.

My mother admitted that they had arranged my marriage.

We'd been seeing each other for a month and I met his parents.

Sorry, it just dawned on me how much the Diana thing works now.

And it's like, it wasn't just a little bit.

He's like, I mean that she was Camilla and you are Diana.

This absolutely

it's almost like he was trying to trying to tell her everything.

You can't just guide cues past her like that.

She'll taunt him every time.

I know that.

We'd been seeing each other for a month and I met his parents.

Shortly after, his mother called mine, explained about Val, how they were afraid he would go back to her, and how they wanted to do everything they could to make sure that their son married the right girl.

I asked my mother why she agreed, and she admitted that they were afraid I was gay and that I wouldn't ever have children.

She said that's why my husband was immediately invited to every holiday.

That's why he was introduced to multiple relatives in a very short time.

That's why they referred to him as family before he proposed.

They were trying to set the tone in my mind.

My head was spinning.

I told them I had to go and I couldn't talk to them anymore.

I drove home and felt like I couldn't breathe.

I walked into our house and told my husband everything.

He laughed.

He actually laughed.

He told me that he'd figured it out a while ago and thought I had too.

He told me that his parents paid for me to go on vacation with them.

They made a point of getting everyone in the family to share how much they liked me.

They gave him extra gift certificates to take me out to dinner and other events.

His mother cleaned his apartment and did all of his laundry while he was at work, so his nights and weekends were free for me.

When he said he was going to save the money for a ring, they gave it to him and they kept telling him what a good match I was for him.

He asked his parents while we were engaged if it had been the plan to keep him away from Val, and his mother admitted that it had been.

He told me that he fell in love with me while we were together.

What he feels for me is real and that he loves the life we have together.

He said it doesn't matter how it started because what we have is strong and real.

I don't know how to feel.

I can't even talk to anyone because I'm apparently the only person who didn't know this happened.

I feel like such an idiot.

I am furious with his parents for doing this, furious with mine for going along with it, and hurt that he didn't tell me the truth once he figured it out.

I don't know if I want a divorce.

My husband has been trying very hard to be supportive of me.

I've told him I don't feel like talking.

He keeps asking me if he can get me anything and asking me little questions to try to get me to talk, but I can't even get my feelings straight right now.

I feel betrayed by every person who is supposed to care about me, and I have no idea what the hell to do now.

Okay, can I just say

I think we got the plot to hitch two.

I didn't see hitch one.

I'm sorry.

Oh no.

Nobody did.

It's just Will Smith hitching people.

I always get it confused with Hancock and I'm like, oh, the doctor.

Oh, yeah, that's not a good movie.

And I get it confused with.

This fits.

the definition of gaslighting, correct?

Like massive group effort gaslighting.

Because they altered her reality.

It feels illegal.

This is a horror movie.

It feels illegal.

It's Truman's show.

Like,

people have issues with

arranged marriages, but like

the parties are aware that it's happening.

Right.

I also feel like she would have also brought up if it was something like, well, it is something that culturally in my family we've done for generations, but I wish they would have asked.

Like, this doesn't sound like it was a norm for her.

We think she's gay and she won't have babies.

Yeah, because the idea, I mean, I can't speak on it.

But in this situation, what really happened was that she was mass manipulated by everyone around this.

They're like, okay, we're going to do all these things to make this happen so that you think that this is all convenient, that this is all working out, that, oh, this is perfect.

But it's that the whole family is secretly making it feel.

And the husband, quote unquote, figured it out and didn't think to mention it.

to her?

It's just so disrespectful to her.

It's nuts.

It takes away all agency.

And now, like, I can believe that maybe they fell in love and it was wonderful then, but the fact that it's built in the way it is robs them of any authenticity there for themselves.

I was going to say before the big reveal, like, being on the autism spectrum, sometimes some of those, you know, it's different for everybody, but like some of those things can manifest in things that are similar to OCD, where you have a thought and you can't stop fixating on it.

And the fact that, you know, he had a romantic past where she didn't, like, that could.

keep coming up and it takes real work to get past that.

But that being said,

this being her first relationship, you know, at least to that degree, other than first kiss, it's doubly, you know, manipulative to be like, oh, yeah, this is what we're doing.

This is what we're doing.

Because she doesn't have a basis to build from.

She doesn't know what a different relationship looks like.

And maybe families do do this.

Maybe they constantly, you know, take each other out and give each other gift cards.

Like, might as well have been living in a bubble and then released them and been like, surprise, we're not on Earth.

Right.

I don't know.

To take away that last metaphor, that sucked.

Like, when you were describing it,

I was like hearing the soundtrack to like a horror movie playing in my head.

Yeah.

With like everywhere feels like,

you know, it's just, that is insane.

If this is a real story,

that is

insane.

I think I believe that.

Who do you go to?

Like, where's your support system after this?

No.

When they're talking about like, hey, is there anything I get you?

Do you want to talk?

I don't think they're realizing how much like the the base the ground level has been shattered.

It's not just oh some trust.

It's like reality identity ego is just dead.

Yeah Their reasoning is insane too of like we thought you were gay.

Yeah, so we thought this would be it's like what we needed.

What did you think was gonna happen?

Yeah, and they're like we need to put a baby in you Yeah, you

we didn't think you were gonna have a baby.

We need to get that baby in yeah we you have to have them to carry on our family name.

Some comments on the update.

Wow, just wow, this is some Truman show level betrayal.

I'm sorry, friend.

If I could, I would give you the biggest hug.

Someone else said, my dear,

this sort of happened to me in a roundabout way in my early 20s.

When I realized what happened, I left and started my own life.

I had great adventures and fell in love with a wonderful man.

We just celebrated our 30th anniversary.

You do what makes your heart happy, not those who arranged a manufactured relationship you weren't even part of.

Sending you bravery and compassion.

Trust your heart, not them.

That's very sweet.

There was another comment by OP saying they are looking into therapy, which I think.

That's a good first step.

Probably good.

It's great for everybody, but especially now.

When you're trying to discover what your reality truly is.

Yeah.

You get to do that fun thing to your therapist where they, you know, they've heard everything, but sometimes you can get them to break and they go, oh my God.

And you're like,

yeah, if you.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Was that bad?

Was that that bad?

Oh, no.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, you'll get a gamer score trophy if you get your therapist to cry.

I've never done that one.

I've gotten them to laugh and I've gotten the shocked face.

I didn't even think about crying.

Yeah,

if you give them a good enough story, yeah.

I've never made a therapist cry, but.

Damn.

My life's pretty.

You should try making fun of them.

Like, oh, therapy baby.

And they're like, I'm not a therapy baby.

Yeah, let's cry.

Hey, guys, let's work to send our therapist to therapy.

They all probably go to therapy already.

If home here is a therapy therapist, they should.

Yeah.

All right.

That has been Smosh Reads Red Stories.

Thank you both for being here.

Thank you, Shane.

I appreciate you.

And thank you for watching and listening.

And once again, we have our live show today, 4 p.m.

Pacific Standard Time.

Get your tickets at live.smosh.com.

And hey, if you can't watch it today, you can still get your tickets and watch it anytime until March 23rd.

The VOD will be available and it's going to be a wild time.

There's going to be updates.

There's going to be updates.

There's going to be updates.

There's going to be updates.

The audience is going to go crazy when you say update.

I know.

Oh, dude, I cannot wait to see that.

To have an audience full of people.

Oh, I'm getting chills.

Chills.

Oh, no, are you sick?

Butter?

Butter.

Oh, butter?

All right,

get your butter out.

Get your butter out, guys.

And then get your butter in.

Sorry.

We will see you guys hopefully later today.

And we will also see you next Saturday.

Goodbye.

Suffs, the new musical has made Tony award-winning history on Broadway.

We demand to be host.

Winner, best score.

We demand to be seen.

Winner, best book.

We demand to be quality.

It's a theatrical masterpiece that's thrilling, inspiring, dazzlingly entertaining, and unquestionably the most emotionally stirring musical this season.

Suffs, playing the Orpheum Theater October 22nd through November 9th.

Tickets at BroadwaySF.com.

When disaster takes control of your life, ServePro helps you take it back.

ServePro shows up faster to any size disaster to make things right, starting with a single call, that's all.

Because the number one name in cleanup and restoration has the scale and the expertise to get you back up to speed quicker than you ever thought possible.

So whenever never thought this would happen actually happens, ServePro's got you.

Call 1-800-SURVPRO or visit SurfPro.com today to help make it like it never even happened.

You want your master's degree.

You know you can earn it, but life gets busy.

The packed schedule, the late nights, and then there's the unexpected.

American Public University was built for all of it.

With monthly starts and no set login times, APU's 40-plus flexible online master's programs are designed to move at the speed of life.

Start your master's journey today at apu.apus.edu.

You want it?

Come get it at APU.