Putting Relationships To The Test | Reading Reddit Stories

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Hello and welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories.

I'm Shane.

And today we've got a classic Am I the asshole episode.

And I'm joined by two people who are not the assholes.

Wow.

Ian and Amanda.

I was about to be ready for

beat your freaking butt, my dad.

Yeah.

Because this is your boss.

That's true.

He owns you.

And I own you too.

Bitch.

Yeah, sure.

No, it's more fun.

You got to be more intense, Ian.

You got to be like, I own you people.

Do I?

Yes.

No.

People behind the camera are shaking their heads no.

Oh, okay.

Just do it to Cass then.

Okay.

I own you.

I give you the green light.

I'm very excited for Am I the Asshole stories because, I mean,

I feel like that's kind of like where we started with these.

Oh, yeah.

It's still the bread and butter of pretty much every episode.

All right, well, let's just hop into these.

Do it.

Okay, our first one.

Am I the asshole for just deciding not to travel because my wife made reservations for Disney again?

Hmm.

Oh, boy.

Oh, God.

We've got a Disney adult story.

Let's go.

Let's go.

You guys knew I was going to be on the show, and you put a Disney adult.

Let's go.

My wife, Jess, and I have been married for the past 13 years.

We're both 39.

After experiencing financial hardship throughout our 20s and early 30s, Jess and I are now fortunate enough to have the means to travel once or twice a year.

The only problem is that Jess literally only wants to go to Disney World.

We have been to Disney nine times now, and every vacation we have ever taken together was to go there, including our honeymoon.

So we go, we eat the Mickey Mouse ice cream, we wear the mouse ears, we stay in the official hotels, we see the characters, we ride the rides, we take the pictures in front of Cinderella's castle, and we come home every trip.

I'm honestly beyond sick of Disney and I never really liked going in the first place.

Jess knows this, but she has no concept of travel beyond Disney.

We're currently planning a trip for April, and Jess, as usual, said that we can just go to Disney.

I explained that it sounds fun, but hey, why don't we go somewhere like Hawaii this time?

Jess was confused.

She asked why we would go to Hawaii.

I responded that we could enjoy the spas and go to the beach.

Jess mumbled a half-hearted answer and walked away.

A few days later, she approached me saying that she made hotel reservations for Hawaii.

At first, I was excited because although she did so without consulting me, it seemed like she was really listening.

But then, when she showed me the hotel she booked, I found she had made reservations for Aulani.

Which is the Disney resort in Hawaii.

That's right.

Frustrated, I told her that I'm honestly tired of Disney and that I just want to have a different experience.

experience this time.

She told me that she was compromising with me and that I should be appreciative for the time she spent.

I asked her if she was willing to consider anything other than Disney for our trip and she said no.

Whoa!

At this point, I said that I wasn't going.

Now she's furious.

She canceled the reservation she made and now she's looking for a friend to go to Disney World with again without me.

Was I the asshole here for not trying to accommodate her a request?

No.

I mean, look, this, this, this

guy

sounds like a very accommodating husband saying, like, I never really enjoyed Disney and then agreeing to go all these times.

Yeah.

But also, like, marriage is a partnership.

And it sounds like in every discussion of a vacation, she has won this argument.

And.

Right.

Yeah.

I mean, luckily, I think, I think the Disney resort on Hawaii is like, it is more of like a hotel yeah like I think there's like stuff for like kids to do yeah but there's not like roller coasters and space mountain stuff it's just a it's just a place where you sleep and then you can like go outside and like enjoy Hawaii it's still just like okay our vacations are always gonna be Disney themed yeah and he's tired of it and he's telling her hey I'm tired of this to me it sounds like he hasn't said he's tired of it at all until right now he's putting his foot down and he's putting it all down at once and resentment, he let resentment build up.

Yeah, which is still, it's still a little sad to me that in all these years she's never been like, what would you like to do?

No, I agree.

I don't think he's an asshole at all for this at all.

But like, yeah, I think it's time to maybe go to Europe.

Yeah.

How do you, I'm just like, I'm so confused because like you're together for like, what was it, 12 years?

And how do you, how do you like not even communicate about like

where you're going for your vacation?

vacation like like well we're going to hawaii

disney

like what you already bought the tickets and everything that's insane yeah unless it's like oh you book the reservations you pick yeah it's like don't just go off and just book it like let's do that together see where i thought this story was going was she was going to be like, yeah, let's go to Europe.

Let's go to Japan.

Let's go to

Beijing.

And then it's going to be like...

Disney, Disney, Tokyo, Disney, Paris.

Like, she was going to be like, let's go to one of those, which frankly, that's, that's if you want to argue a compromise yeah that's what it's like let's go to Paris and one of the days we'll go to Disney Paris yeah and then some of the other days we'll go do other things I think Disney and I think that Disneyland isn't even it's not even in Paris like it's like a ways out of the city

so that would be a good excuse to be like yeah let's go to Disneyland in Paris and be like oh it's like so far away from Paris let's just go for one day and then oh our hotel is here in Paris guess we got to walk around Paris I think that there's I think that there's a good way that this husband can convince her to go to other places in the world.

He's like, hey, hey, you know, Epcot, you know how they have that like little Japan place?

We could go to the real one.

No,

they have like, they have like a whole, there's a whole place that's like that in countrysides.

Do you know that there's a real Morocco?

Why is she like this AI robot where it's like Jess, Jess only wants?

Just tell her.

Hey, honey, I don't want to see Mickey for a long time.

I fucking hate Mickey Mouse.

Just tell her.

You know what?

I also, I don't think this is what's happening, but I know that I do this and I have to like force myself away from it, which is they didn't go on vacations for the longest time because they couldn't afford it.

They finally could and they probably one of their first trips was Disney World.

And it was like, that rocked.

Yeah.

Let's do it again because we know it rocked.

Yeah.

It's so easy to fall into the like trap.

Well, we've done that and it's awesome.

So let's just keep going there.

I think the like more common one is like restaurants.

It's like, oh, that restaurant is our spot.

We love it.

We're going to just keep going there.

It's like, we have to try something new eventually.

Right.

Yeah.

And then you try something new, and you're like, that's our new favorite spot.

Right.

That's.

It's comfort.

It's the tough thing.

And there's nothing wrong with.

But nine years in a row.

Nine years in a row, I think.

It's like, unless they are both stoked about it.

Right.

That's fine.

Right.

But he's not.

Right.

Yeah.

Okay.

Comments.

Well, verdict, not the asshole.

Sure.

Yeah.

Comments, how the fuck did this go on for nine trips without you saying something?

I'd have gone mad after going a second time.

Correct.

Someone else said, Your wife needs to learn to consider her husband's feelings instead of only her own, not the asshole.

Lastly, someone said, What the fuck?

You have a wife problem.

She's not into fully compromising at all.

She doesn't look beyond herself much.

Book yourself a nice vacation and go.

Okay.

Yeah, you got a woman problem, bro.

You gotta get that problem.

I have problems, but a bitch ain't one.

Disney.

No, I think, I think, like, I mean, it definitely seems like they have a communication problem or like a standing up for like your what you want to do problem.

Yeah.

Okay, update.

Yes.

Thank you.

About a week ago, I made a post about an argument my wife, Jess, and I had.

The TLDR version of it is Jess loves going to Disney World, and we have gone there for literally every trip during our marriage, which is now at an impressive nine times.

When I asked asked Jess if we could go somewhere like Hawaii, she suggested Aolani, the Disney resort, and I dismissed the idea completely.

This upset Jess.

Here's the update.

I screwed up.

I know most people were giving me the not the asshole judgment, but Jess actually showed a great deal of openness to my idea.

She took initiative by reserving the hotel because she wanted me to be happy.

When I said nope, no Disney, she felt that I hadn't put any effort into taking her feelings into consideration.

And she was completely right.

I hadn't.

It was, in a twisted way, my form of revenge for dragging me to Disney World all those times.

In the last post, some people commented about how Aulani barely even looks like a Disney resort at all.

This is something I should have researched myself before I threw the gauntlet down with Jess.

When I looked into it, it looked like a run-of-the-mill Hawaiian resort.

In my defense, going to Disney World nine times has kind of made me sensitive, and I'm fairly sure that on a Rorschach test, I'd see nothing but mouse ears at this point, but I really should not have jumped to conclusions.

A day after I made the post, I approached approached Jess and apologized.

I was wrong.

Yes, she might be a Disney adult, but aside from always wanting to go to their theme parks, she's never obnoxious about it.

I said I was sorry and asked for permission to reserve the hotel again, and Jess responded that she'd love to go to El Lani with me.

When I told her that it's not really all that Disney, Jess said, of course I knew that.

I wanted to go because my sister said it was beautiful.

I'm a moron.

Jess and I have replanned our vacation and we're super excited to be going now.

I came to this realization because a lot of people pointed out some things I should have figured out myself.

Thank you.

Okay, blink twice if you need assistance, buddy.

Yeah.

He is right.

It is just like a resort.

Sure.

I just still, I still don't love that he's jumping to yes.

I'm not considering her feelings.

Like, well, she didn't consider your feelings for nine years, so I don't know.

We obviously don't know these people on a real level.

We just have this story.

But from what I'm gathering from here,

it just doesn't sound like she's considering him.

I don't know what happened in between that post or what, but that's a different man writing that.

Hey, guys!

She's like, I really don't remember.

She saw the post.

Yeah.

She's in a Mickey costume, like, say what I said.

No, write that down.

That's better.

Up day number two.

Stop.

She's like, hey, it's Jess.

I don't know where he's been.

He's been missing for two weeks.

Yeah.

Hi again, everybody.

This situation all started because my wife Jess and I had an argument about going to Disney World on vacation again.

I didn't want to go because we've been there nine times.

When I suggested Hawaii, Jess made reservations for Aulani, which previously on Dragon Ball Z.

Disney World Resort.

Okay, it was, and we realized that I was wrong and that Aul Lani was a perfectly fine compromise.

Okay.

Unfortunately.

We will not be going to Aulani for our upcoming vacation.

Oh.

A couple of days after Christmas, Jess had a minor car accident.

She mistook the drive for reverse and backed into our garage door.

When I heard the loud bang,

I ran outside and found Jess holding her neck in the car.

I immediately drove her to the hospital where she got x-rays done.

She seemed fine, but the doctor said that based on her symptoms, headache, neck pain, numbness in her fingers, she could have whiplash.

Jess and I figured that she would be fine in a couple days, but almost two weeks later, she is still complaining about back pain.

Yesterday, she approached me saying that she wasn't confident she could go to Hawaii in a few months.

I asked what she wanted to to do, and while apologizing profusely, she asked me if we could postpone that trip.

I responded that she had absolutely nothing to apologize for.

After that, she said that she felt bad about not being able to go to Hawaii, but she might be able to make it to Disney World.

Shut up!

Please!

Stop!

Please!

Stop it!

Stop it!

Please, stop.

She's like,

I have to have Mickey touch my neck.

You know what'll help?

Maybe Space Mountain will get it back.

Maybe.

No, this is fake.

Because when you said that she backed into her garage and she got whiplashed from that, I was like, did she, was she driving like a 2x0?

Like a roller coaster?

She's flooring it out of her garage.

That's crazy.

All right, all right.

Let's, let's, let's continue.

Yeah, sorry.

While I didn't understand at first, she told me that it was very high accessibility and, in a worst-case scenario, ECV rentals.

She doubts that will be necessary, but assured me that we could take it easy there.

I know that this isn't the conclusion people here wanted, and it's certainly not what I wanted to do with my next vacation, but Jess's health has to come first here.

We've made our reservations.

It's not where I want to go, but Jess is super happy right now, and that's what matters most to me.

Thank you all for your input.

Is this a no-sleep post?

She's like this.

This is terrifying.

I'm so happy.

We're going to fucking Disney.

Her neck is just

injured.

You injured your neck and you want to go to a theme park?

Oh, hold on, hold on.

She's playing...

Okay.

hear me out.

Okay, because when you have like

when you go to Disneyland, right?

And there's like, and you have like accessibility problems,

don't you, like, get to like skip the line?

They changed that.

They changed that.

They changed that.

People were taking advantage of that.

Because I was going to say, maybe she's like playing 3D chess.

She's like, okay, I'll run to the garage.

I hurt my neck.

So I can skip the line at Disneyland.

I don't think that'll get you in front of the line.

This man,

it's like his body is in a room and he has these little like black mirror things on and he's just transported into like the perfect husband for Jess.

How does he believe that this is the thing?

He's in severance and every year he just comes into consciousness at Disney World over there.

This is also like whiplash.

This is like I don't know.

An amusement park is not where I would go if I injured my neck.

You shouldn't ride any rides if you have a neck injury.

Go to Hawaii.

Literally, she's like, okay, Disney World is fine, but the resort where we're going to lay by a pool all day is dangerous.

Bullshit.

I can't handle it in Ohio.

I hate her.

Well, guess what?

Mickey is going to come and get you.

Dude, you're excellent.

My old boss is going to come and get me.

No, this is, this is,

once again, I only have this story.

I have no other information.

This just feels like...

total manipulation to me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Quite.

Yeah.

She's like, oh, I backed into the girl.

She's like, okay, for Mickey.

No,

I'm so upset that he agreed.

What he should have said.

And the actual answer is, no, we're not going on any vacation.

We're not getting on planes.

We're not going anywhere.

If you have this injury that you're saying that happened a couple weeks ago, that you don't feel confident a few months from now.

Yeah.

Bullshit.

I feel like this is like, this is like some kind of like weird new agoraphobia where like you only feel safe.

You only feel safe inside your own house in disney world yeah god that's the future

we're living in tell us update no another update

it ends up that's because he's going to disney world oh 100

he's not going anywhere

he's going to disney world and he's gonna love it he's going to disney world for the rest of his life he's not going anywhere maybe the top of his head is going somewhere but the rest of his body is buried yo

he's attached to something else and she's pulling that arm and it's a phantom body.

I'm sorry.

What are we doing here?

Oh my God.

I was wondering why you guys are losing it off camera as you were getting to that point.

I was like, no, I was like, something's coming.

Also, him re-explaining the story just shows that he is so like in this pattern of like, and I'm a good husband and here's the story.

And I was wrong.

I am wrong.

And it's like, okay.

Yeah.

This is a nightmare.

They live in the haunted mansion.

This might be one of the favorites.

We're We're going to Disneyland.

This might be one of my favorite stories.

This is a very good one.

Yeah, this is a favorite.

No, it's extremely funny.

It's also a nightmare.

Yeah.

Nightmare.

Next story.

God.

Can we just move on?

I don't know.

Best of Redditor updates.

Yay.

Buckle up.

Am I the asshole for leaving my bumble date stranded at a restaurant after she admitted she was going to her guy best friend's place after the date?

Stranded.

Okay.

Okay.

A couple of months ago, I matched with Anna on Bumble.

I thought we vibed really well.

She had a really nice and funny demeanor and we had lots of engaging conversations on FaceTime.

We set up our first dinner date last week.

I proposed a really nice restaurant which was sort of far from where we lived, but I really wanted to treat Anna because I thought she was special.

Anna asked if I could pick her up and then after the date drop her off at her best friend's place.

I didn't mind it at all.

Anna said she had movie night with her best friend.

I picked Anna up and we went to the restaurant.

The The date went better than expected.

We vibed really well.

Anna also had drinks since I was the designated driver.

However, right at the end of the date, Anna asked if I would drop her off at Josh's.

I was initially confused and then realized Josh was her guy best friend.

Anna instantly realized what she said and it sort of became awkward.

Anna apologized and I told Anna there was no reason to apologize.

I was just curious about who Josh was, so I asked Anna, and Anna said he was her guy best friend, and they occasionally have movie nights.

Anna said she wanted to be honest with me because she really liked me and saw a future with me and she admitted they sometimes make out during these movie nights but it but it doesn't go further than that.

I appreciated Anna's honesty but this whole thing felt like a huge gut punch.

I was maybe in my feelings but I just couldn't do it anymore.

I told Anna to just ask Josh to pick her up and I paid for my portion of the dinner and left.

Anna looked really sad when I ended the date and left.

I felt sort of guilty about it later and called my sister to ask her if what I had done was right.

My sister said I shouldn't have left Anna stranded at the restaurant, especially after Anna was really sweet and honest with me.

I told my sister how I could be expected to take Anna for a really fancy dinner and then drop her off at her guy best friend's house where she would then make out with him.

I had enough self-respect left not to do that.

Was I the asshole?

No.

Your sister.

Yeah.

What?

I mean, stranded.

It's not like he left her in the middle of the woods.

Well, it sounds like it was.

It sounds like it was like far away, I'm assuming.

I guess I need to know.

I need to know that.

I need to know because is it a restaurant like in the city that they both live in?

He kind of makes it sound like it's out a ways.

Yeah, which is

crazy for a first date.

Well, but they've been FaceTime dating.

Yeah.

Okay, okay, okay, maybe.

Like, really, like, how far?

Maybe you should have driven her.

Maybe you should have driven her.

And yeah, okay, stranded, I get that.

But I'm also like,

I don't know.

So we're not talking about,

we are acknowledging, like, most of us, I think all of us here would probably not continue, or like, or like, I think I wouldn't continue seeing this person because I'd be like, that's, I don't know if I'm comfortable with that.

I would definitely have more questions.

It's the conversation of, okay, you're not, he's not interested in seeing her more.

That's clear.

He did tell her he was going to drive her home.

Should he still drive her home?

Right, right, right.

That's kind of the conversation because she hasn't necessarily

been a bad person to him, but she, like, she's she's being honest with him and he's going oh i'm not and i don't and i don't think he reacted as cool and collected as he's saying because because he's like he's like i left her there and i paid for my

dinner and so it's like oh you know like he was deep i didn't realize that he said he would drive her home i get that i think it's like okay drive her drive her to josh's and say See ya never.

I think that's what I would probably do in this situation.

I fear,

as is the case with every reddit stories i fear we might have a little bit of an unreliable narrator on this one too yeah like what did what actually was because i'm just like yeah how did how did you react how did this go down how did she tell you about i think ian's right i think he probably did not react well i don't think so either and it's like it was his choice because he's like i want to treat her to this fancy dinner So he goes there and now he's making her pay for her portion.

Yeah.

Oh my god.

And that's after her being like, hey, I'll be honest with you, this has happened.

It has me wondering, I'm very curious about the wording of this because slight wording changes change this entirely.

If it's like, yeah, in the past we have done this, and he's going, oh, so you do this all the time.

Right.

And you do this and you're about to go do this right now.

And it's like, I mean, I appreciate her honesty, but like,

I guess like,

pretty rough.

I also am like, if I was her friend, I'd be like, you shouldn't expect to like be succeeding in like seeing people if you're telling them you're actively

kind of seeing some is she actively in the make out era with that that's what i'm a little that's what i want to that's what i'm curious about too and it that's where i'm like what was her word maybe she was like oh this is someone that i used to but we're we don't do that anymore and maybe you just left that out taken taken at i think you probably did taken at her word taken at the word of this story which i i never fully trust a reddit story i'm like

okay if she really did say that that's wild that's wild to admit that That's wild to ask a date to drop you off at the place that you're saying this is happening.

I don't know what you're expecting to happen.

My only assumption with this story is I'm like, I think there's little tweaks to this.

Yeah.

I'm guessing, I'm guessing that if I had to guess what the context was, that they probably used to make out or like

a couple times they got drunk and made out in the past, but like then they agreed it's weird.

That's my assumption too.

And he just can't get that out of his head because he's like, I'm driving her, I'm driving her to her other boyfriend's house.

Yeah, maybe she's like, oh, I needed to pick, I need something there, or my car is there.

Maybe it was something else.

Anyways, I don't know.

So the verdict was not the asshole.

The comments, what did Anna think was going to happen?

Which I agree

as the story as it's written.

I feel the same way.

Someone else said, why on earth would you go on a date with someone and then ask them to drop you off at your friends with benefits and then expect them to want to continue a relationship with you?

What planet are you living on?

Have my cake and eat it to land?

Someone else said, kudos for the maturity on both their parts, but girl, what?

Thanks for dinner.

It was great.

You're great.

Now I'm going over for a movie night with a guy I might make out with.

Can you drop me off?

Huh?

I completely agree if that is what she's saying.

If that, yeah.

If that's what she's saying, which given his story, sure, I agree, but I don't think that's what I'm saying.

I just have a hard.

I mean, look, there are people out there that would do that, right?

The world's filled with every kind of person.

They exist.

Right.

I just have a, I'm having a hard time believing it.

But update.

Yay!

Hey, everyone, just a quick update.

I appreciate all the comments and the different opinions on my previous post.

However, at the end of the day, the reason I posted it was because I felt guilty about what I did, and I agreed more with the comments stating what I did was wrong.

Also, my sister has never once given me bad advice in life, and I think her assessment was right this time, too.

Since I left Anna at the restaurant last week, she texted me a couple of times, but I just ignored those messages.

I opened the messages a couple hours ago, and I was sort of surprised.

Instead of lashing out at me, she just apologized again and said she was willing to stop seeing Josh if it meant we could continue our relationship.

She said after the dinner, she just took an Uber back home and didn't go to Josh's.

I texted Anna that there was no reason to apologize and I shouldn't have left her stranded at the restaurant and I should have also paid for her meal since I was the one who invited her to the expensive restaurant.

I asked Anna for her Venmo, but Anna said she didn't care about the money and asked if we could continue our relationship.

However, I didn't have the same feelings for Anna anymore, so I texted Anna up front that I don't think we're compatible and I don't want to continue this.

We chatted a bit more, and Anna was very respectful of my decision but admitted she was sad.

I too admitted it was tough, but it's best for everyone that this doesn't continue further.

That was the final text, and I definitely think there are valuable lessons learned for this entire thing.

Thank you all for your input.

That has me now believing that this was all legit.

Okay, maybe he is a hero.

Look, because he's sad.

Because he's given this update going, yeah, I was wrong.

I should have done this, whatever.

I'm like, oh, I, she really probably did say that.

Definitely.

And that is the situation, which is

wild, but hey.

I'm also like, I'm so done with people saying no need to apologize when clearly they were hurt.

Like, why can't we just be upfront about how we feel?

Like,

no need to apologize.

No need to apologize.

I think that's become the common saying.

I think that's become the common saying of being like, it's all right.

Like, just um i don't like it fascinating no i think that i think that's a really good point i'm saying yeah just be like thank you for apologizing to me it's like when someone's trying to apologize like no no no no need to apologize it's like

let me let me apologize dude let me apologize

okay well i mean that's a good update i guess i still you know i'd like them to get together i know it is

because they had he said they had good chemistry so it's like yeah get over it dude like move on yeah i mean it's a good update in that they both are okay okay and they're good and it's all all right.

I mean, he was saying he just doesn't have feelings for her now.

Like,

already

feelings.

I know.

That's, that's the thing where I'm like, I'm like, bro, get over it.

You guys had, like, good chemistry or whatever in your date.

Yeah.

She said she's in things with the friends with benefits.

Say, all right, cool.

Let's, you know, date number two.

Just like, you know, exactly.

Get over yourself.

It's true.

It's so early on.

I think he was embarrassed.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's a lot of elements going on right now.

Yeah.

No need to apologize, though.

Yeah, yeah, but don't, don't, don't apologize.

I'll never apologize to you guys.

Oh, good.

So you don't ever need to

know.

That's great.

Our next story.

I also own you both.

Oh, okay.

And I love that.

Yeah, and that's why I don't need to apologize.

And I said I like that.

Our next story comes from Am I the Asshole.

Am I the asshole for having second thoughts about marrying my fiancé after a drunk comment?

Ooh, classic.

Real.

Real.

This is you tell the truth when you're drinking.

Ooh.

Oh, no.

What is it?

Junk words or sober thoughts?

That's right.

No, that's right.

Yeah.

This is a 30-year-old woman, and she's writing about her 27-year-old husband.

Yeah, okay.

Not sure why I'm even here.

Guess I'm still trying to process what my 27-year-old man, what my fiancé drunkenly admitted to me.

For context, my fiancé, who I'll refer to as Alex, and I have been together for just under two years and got engaged in December.

Everything has been a blast since the day we we met, and we keep surprising each other with just how awesome of a couple we can be.

Last night, we had a special date night for New Year's planned, where we were dressed up like bowlers from the 1970s and bowled our asses off for a few frames until we finally decided on a winner.

I don't know why this is so funny.

It's pretty funny.

Wait, how did he describe their relationship?

It's a blast.

A blast?

It's always a blast.

It's always a blast.

That sounds exhausting.

Yeah.

They go to Disneyland.

They go to Disney World Walls.

You'll see some like boring times with their relationship.

Totally.

during the five games, we ended up drinking two of those beer towers, about seven beers each altogether.

He's not a big drinker, so he was a little more than tipsy when we decided to call it a night and head home.

We live really close by, so we walked to and from the bowling alley since we figured we were going to be drinking.

On that 15-minute walk home, he was doing the usual mushy, I love you, and other cute little things he tells me while giggling.

Things took a bit of a turn when he started talking about how much he enjoys our sex.

Okay.

He's always told told me that we have amazing sex and that he can't get enough.

But in his drunken state, he told me something different.

You're the third best that I've ever had.

What a blast.

Not even, not even runner-up.

And they're dressed as bowlers.

Yes.

This is terrible.

This is terrible.

Third.

Hey, it's it's still, you know, that's still

it's still podium.

That's sucks.

Too super useful

Yeah.

I stopped walking for a second and just stared at him in disbelief.

Alex just looks at me, giggles again, and kisses me.

Thinking he was just saying that on purpose to agitate me a bit, like he does, but not really mean it.

I laugh it off and we keep walking.

Once we get home and sit on our front porch, he brings it back up.

I really do mean it though, babe.

You're amazing, but I have had better before you.

Buddy, shut up.

He got away with it.

If he would have just shut his mouth

after the first one.

I was as confused as I was mad, embarrassed, and offended all at the same time.

I asked him what the hell he was saying to me and if he was being serious.

He started crying and told me that he had a one-night stand before he met me with some woman that was like a sex goddess.

He also mentioned a past fling with a guy when they were both teenagers and experimenting with drugs.

Both of these confessions took me completely off guard because he never in our time together mentioned anything about being bicurious or anything like that, let alone promiscuous sex.

My commitment to Alex is starting to change now though, and I haven't been able to look at him all day.

I'm having second thoughts about following through with a marriage if he'll always think of me as a third place prize.

Even if I did think there was something about Alex that wasn't as good as a past relationship, I wouldn't openly tell him that I thought he wasn't as hot, handsome, has a small dick, etc.

That just seems like kind of mean and feels a little malicious or petty.

Am I the asshole for reconsidering the engagement?

She's like, I wasn't going to tell you that you have a small dick,

but you do.

It's actually the third smallest dick I've ever seen.

At first, I'm like, there's no way this guy actually said all this, but then I'm like,

you get eight beers deep.

Yeah.

Yeah, he did.

The truths are coming out.

And he's wanted to say it for a while.

He's been waiting for me.

There's nothing that Samuel Adams won't get out of you.

Oh,

Sam Sama, honey.

Sam Summer?

It's Sam's summer.

Stop the clock.

You got oysters and Sam Summer?

Are you fucking kidding me?

You're getting super brown during the summer.

It's Sam Summer.

That's super super.

And there's no secrets, it's Sam Summer.

No, no.

Sam Summer.

Okay.

Whoa.

No, you can't recover from that.

You simply cannot recover.

She just either has to forgive, move on, or that's it.

Which it's like, how do you move on from that?

Because mind you, not only being told third best, she also was like, I had no idea that he was also bicurious.

Like, that's also a huge bombshell.

And it's not that there's a problem with it.

It's that it's like, I don't, do I know you?

Here's the deal, though.

I think, I feel like, okay, yeah, if she can't move on from that, then that can't happen.

But if she can, I think your relationship, like your sex relationship constantly changes all the time.

So she's not always going to be third, maybe.

I mean, I mean, I don't know, maybe she is but like i mean it was a sex goddess that was never so true

why did he say that i know he really

oh

he got too comfy way too comfy i'm glad i'm glad that he admitted what he wanted to say like before they got married not like on their wedding night where he's like you're the third best love yeah

glad we did this you know what i mean

i don't know i just this is up to her if she can i mean like he very much wanted to tell her yes if if like, he felt like it didn't sink in the first time he said it and then decided to bring it back around.

Like, I guess maybe this is something that he was like,

it's probably something he's been wanting to tell her, but he was afraid to tell her.

Yeah.

Like,

probably

his experiences with men, he was probably ashamed of that in some way.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then, and then this other person that he's probably thought about since they got together.

Like,

third.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He didn't need.

This isn't at the Olympics like you don't need any

you only tell people when they're number one and even if they're not you lie exactly.

I also

I also think he's not

I think this is a very clouded statement because he's referring to one

an experience he had on drugs when he was a teenager that's absolutely when it's a distant memory.

Yep.

It's it's gets clouded by like oh the the past you kind of think of it differently.

Yeah sure and it's the same with this one-night stand.

You talk about single instances right and single instances in life can have this different

feeling of excitement to it whereas he's not referring like

this is a partner he's had for years and that's a very different thing i i just think he's i just think there's a lot but it tells me

but it tells me there's a lot going on internally with him yeah and that's why if i was her i would be reconsidering it because i'd be going i actually don't think i know you and i think you're working through a lot and i'm not i don't love that you think of it this way see i i would be like all right great starting tomorrow after we eat hangover food i want to hear all about it i would want to like go over everything

i would probably before i make any decision i'd probably be the same way out of just i would need to know yeah yeah i would need to know even if i was still certain that i'd be calling it off i would need to know first yeah 100 i want to talk it all out um

uh the verdict was not the asshole comments not the asshole saying it once was a slip twice Twice was deliberate.

True.

Someone said, not the asshole.

There is absolutely zero situation, joking or not, where I would ever say this to my wife, ever.

Lastly, someone said, you're not the asshole for having second thoughts.

What he said was hurtful and unnecessary, even if he was drunk.

It's okay to take time to process this and decide if you can move past it together.

He was in a bowler outfit.

He was in a bowler outfit when he said that.

And they had a good night.

They had a blast.

Maybe just one beer tower next time.

Maybe just one.

Literally just one.

I will say though, when you're like in the beginning of a relationship and you have those drinking nights,

you do start to say shit.

You've never, I've never ever had experience that, but like, you do say shit where it's like, what'd you just say?

Where it's like, huh?

So just be careful next time.

One beer tower.

One beer tower.

Not everybody drinks and not everybody, you know, is into it.

But for those who do, I do feel like those nights where you do get drunk with your partner are kind of like like a test.

Because it's like, all right, we are, we've got the truth serum in.

Yep.

What are we saying to each other?

How are we treating each other?

The bumpers are coming down.

And it is kind of like

it is kind of a test because once you get past it, it's like, all right,

anything we would have aired, we probably would have aired at the same time.

Right, strike.

Yep.

Update.

Split.

They might split.

They might split.

Ooh.

All right.

Update.

Do you,

it's done.

This is going to be done.

I don't know.

You don't know.

Do you think there's a chance?

I feel like all these Reddit ones, they like, I cut it off.

I don't know.

The advice is always to cut it off, but not always the case.

I mean, look, Disney World guy, they're going to Disney World.

Don't even get me.

I blacked that out.

The fact that you brought it up again

splashed me.

I think they're going to work it out.

I kind of agree.

I think it's over.

Okay.

Okay.

So Alex tried to apologize.

The morning after we went out, he pretended everything was okay and was as sweet with me as usual, but I was short with him and ignored his texts all day leaving for work.

When we both got home in the evening, I still couldn't even look at him, and so he asked me what was wrong and I told him.

Apparently, he hardly remembers a thing after we finished bowling.

He recalls walking home and saying some things he felt embarrassed about and then sitting outside and cuddling with me on the porch.

I told him exactly what I remember him saying, and he looked mortified.

He apologized profusely and told me I'm the only person he slept with and ever cared this much about, but I told him he'd humiliated me and made me feel like I was the problem and needed some time apart.

So he volunteered to go stay with his brother to give me some space.

He's since spent the rest of the evening and today trying to make it right, leaving voicemails and texting that he really didn't mean to hurt me and that he was drunk and stupid.

He kept reiterating that I'm the best thing that's happened to him and the sex he had before was meaningless and that you're my number one.

as far as anyone I've slept with that matters.

It's just, it just made me more mad.

Like he's now lying to save face and trying to manipulate me into feeling like I'm overreacting after making me feel like a lesser partner in bed.

I finally told him to stop and told him I didn't believe a word he said anymore and that even if he's being sincere, nothing he says will undo the fact that deep down he'll always think of me as a consolation prize to some sex goddess and his male buddy.

I'm honestly also second guessing if he even likes women and am not ready to deal with being with someone who's questioning their sexuality.

He started crying again and said he just wanted to open up to me since we've never had the conversation about previous partners.

And in his drunk state, he thought we were at that point where we could have honest conversations, but regrets the timing and letting it slip while drunk.

He said he'd move out and leave me alone, but hopes I won't share what he told me with my family and mutual friends, which I agreed to.

I don't feel bad about ending things.

He clearly didn't think before speaking.

speaking and now he's just trying to patch it up and minimize it as mistake and attempt at honest conversation when I know he's just trying to lower my self-esteem and make me feel like I need to turn into a sex goddess in bed or be more like a man.

I've realized my self-worth and I'm like, I'm no one's bronze medal.

I appreciate all the comments and kinds words and kind words on the last post helping me realize this.

Okay.

I think she girl.

Yay.

I think a lot of this is off.

But I think she's she's going through a lot as she's writing this post.

Yeah.

But I do think she's missing the mark on a lot of it.

100%.

He tried to share something super vulnerable.

He fucked up with the third place.

And I think it's really, really painful.

But I think in order to marry someone, your conversation is just going to get harder.

And you have to kind of take your insecurity and fear and anxiety about sex and all these things out of it.

And just be like, okay, we're two human beings.

This sucks right now.

But is the love and respect still there?

And I just, I mean, if that broke them up, I don't know.

I mean, their marriage wouldn't have lasted.

Because, because, like, the things that he was saying to her, like, I mean, obviously, I'm not in this relationship, but I believe the things that he was saying.

I mean, there's certain things he shouldn't have said, and saying, like, but you're like the best sex that is meaningful.

It's like, bro, like, let's just not go there.

Let's just, let's just get past that point.

I agree with her in the sense of, like, that's only going to make you more mad.

Like, don't do that.

No, but that's like dumb guy shit.

Totally.

Like, we've all said dumb guy things like that before.

At least I know I have.

Where it's just like, yeah, there just comes to points where you just shut up.

Yeah.

But I think,

yeah, her turning around and being like, I guess I'm not like, I guess I'm not a sex goddess or I'm not enough of a man.

It's like, bro, you are, you are missing the mark.

The point.

Yeah.

I.

Predict that months from now she'll look at some of those things she's written and been like okay that was not true also like her being like, oh, he wants me to be more like a man.

I'm like, okay, slow down.

It's not what he said.

And also, like, you promised you wouldn't tell your family and friends.

You just did a full Reddit post on it.

Like, you're not being respectful.

I guess the argument is that this is anonymous, but it does run the risk always of people knowing.

I don't know.

I think she missed out on something that could have been good for their relationship.

I don't know.

I get, I'm not saying everyone has to accept everyone's flaws, but at least give it a chance to kind of dig into like, okay, clearly you waited till we were wasted to tell me.

Clearly, you were afraid to tell me.

And he had rightfully so.

So it's like, I don't know.

I just think people need to dig in a little bit more before they just call it quits.

But I also do agree with what you kind of said it earlier: is like this did break them up, which means, are they compatible?

Right.

You know, this did break them up.

There are people out there, there's a version of this where this happens, and it's like they do talk it out, and it makes them stronger because they were compatible.

Right.

Right.

They were, they saw eye to eye on things.

Yeah.

And I also agreed, I think it's important to go back what you said earlier is like people's sexual relationships will change and evolve.

Yep.

It's not like, oh yeah, you're the third best ever.

It's like viewing sex as like, that's you.

You 24 seven.

That's you always.

And that's what it is.

It's like, no.

Sex is communication.

Yes.

That is something that will change.

And if you're with the right person that you're compatible with, it will only get better.

And it's because it's about communication and talking with each other and understanding each other.

Totally.

He doesn't seem, it seems like they both have growing in that realm.

Yeah.

And he also, frankly, does sound like there's a lot that he needs to acknowledge and figure out.

She the same way.

That's kind of why I was not confident this was going to be

because I was just like, I don't think they sound compatible.

Yeah.

And This just sounds like too big of a thing for them to handle.

Maybe in a couple of years, if they really work on themselves, it's something that they will come back around and be fine with.

Yeah, I think it's very hard when you tell something

about yourself that's really personal.

And I get that he said third, but like that, the other person's response is only like, well, I guess I'm not.

Well, I guess it's really hard to communicate once it gets to that place.

Yeah, she was so hurt.

Right, rightfully so.

I get it.

But takes some, I don't know, takes some time.

But listen, you can't be in everyone's relationship.

You don't know.

You don't know what you're doing.

Oh, totally.

And this is one of those heartbreaking ones that is really devastating.

And really, like, man, I don't know what I would say to either of these people, you know, if I was talking to them.

I just think marriage is like,

you can't just be like, I'm out.

Oh, for sure.

You fucking like, this is the person that you chose to be with.

And you kind of have to give them the benefit of the doubt.

I agree.

But I also think if in her head, she's immediately seeing there's no way I'm ever going to get over this.

Right.

I'm also like, all right.

That's true.

But a marriage is truly being with someone where you're like, I will do everything I can to make this work.

Yes.

But once you hit that place of, I can't make this work, it's dishonest to stay in.

Right.

Totally.

So it's this tough, but she immediately, I mean, if you are calling it quits that fast, you weren't right for each other.

Right.

Yeah.

That's how I view it.

Right.

At least.

I just

don't think she's secure enough to be in a relationship like that.

I mean, look, that's a fucking devastating thing to hear.

I don't think either of them are secure enough to be in this relationship right now.

A little twinge of biphobia, too.

I'm just going to say it.

Just going to say it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No.

Biphobia is real.

Totally.

For sure.

That's what I mean.

Like, as she's writing this, I can tell I'm like, you...

Tears are streaming as you're typing this.

So I'm curious, because this was written very recently.

I'm curious if there'll be an update eventually, kind of like a cooled down version of it, but we'll see.

Update.

She had sex with two people that were better than him.

Now he's number three.

How does it feel?

She's never been back to the bowling lane since.

She's got guys bowling strikes all up in that.

Sorry.

No, it's perfect.

Split.

Split.

She's waxing balls left and right.

He could keep going.

You don't have to let him.

Something about like the holes.

I don't know.

Okay, here we go.

You know what?

All right.

Shoes.

You're done.

Just get me out of here.

Our next story.

Am I the asshole for flirting with 19-year-old girls and defending myself when being called a predator?

How old are you, bro?

Yeah, how old, bro.

Say how old you are, bro.

I'm 31.

Yep.

and recently ended a long-term relationship.

I was broken.

I recently went to this cool restaurant/slash bar downtown with one of my buddies to have a good time.

Anyone of any age can come in.

While we were there, there was a girl who was celebrating her 19th birthday.

They sang happy birthday, and they were allowed an outside cake with 19 on it.

The birthday girl was pretty, so I wanted to go chat her up.

Her friends were super cute, too.

My buddy told me to leave them alone and that they looked like babies.

He didn't want to go over at first, but since the breakup, every other woman but my ex has been invisible, so he went to Wingman with me.

We walked over and wished her a happy birthday.

I thought things were going well and the women were laughing.

Then all of a sudden one of the girls snaps at me to take a fucking hint, R.

Kelly.

Oh!

I was taken aback and just said, excuse me.

She said to read the room and that they were uncomfortable.

Another asked us to go away.

I was going to go, but I was really bothered by the R.

Kelly comment.

I said it's fucked up to call me a predator when we were all adults here.

My buddy wanted to leave, but I stood my ground.

The birthday woman said that it didn't matter.

It's weird for someone my age to hit on them, especially when they make it obvious that they are uncomfortable.

I apologize for making them uncomfortable, but that didn't give them the right to call me a predator.

One of the women said it was a personal problem.

I said that adults are allowed to hit on other adults.

It's not a crime.

One woman just asked why I was still standing there and yelled at me to go away.

Yes.

I was pissed off and when I left their entire table was singing ignition and laughing their asses off.

I was furious and humiliated.

When we sat back down, I was seething.

My buddy said that it was my fault for not seeing the signs that they were uncomfortable.

To him, it was obvious, so he wanted to go.

He called me delusional.

I pointed out that they were laughing and he said it was just uncomfortable laughter.

I told him that I had every right to be mad about being called a predator when they were all 18 to 19.

It's a horrible accusation to make.

My ex was six years older than me.

He said that they weren't calling me a predator, just weird for going for teens.

He said it was wrong of them to sing after me and that was bullying, but I should have left long before that.

I felt like he should have stuck up for me.

Was I wrong for sticking up for me or for hitting on them in the first place?

I was respectful and not creepy at all, too.

Edit, for the record, I do date women my age and older.

This was the first time I approached much younger women.

I-I-I can't.

This is exactly the type of guy who asks you out and you go, oh, no, thank you.

And then they're like, the fuck?

What the fuck?

You're a bitch.

And then they're like, excuse me, can you go?

And it's like, no, I'm pissed.

And then they stay.

Dude.

That's the most insane thing.

Like, where it was like, the moment they were like, take a hint, like, we don't want you here.

And then you stay after that.

Like, I know.

It's because he's embarrassed and is painful.

Prabhupada

stay.

It's wild.

It's a friend.

It's also,

It's also like they're celebrating a birthday.

Yeah, even if the cake said 30, I'd be like, oh, well, I'm not going to go up and bother them.

They're celebrating a birthday right now.

Like, don't bother them.

He was like, I, I deserve to have this.

Yeah.

I deserve every woman's been invisible to me.

So I, I deserve to go up to these, you know, ladies and talk to them.

It's like, that's where you're wrong.

It is not your God-given right to have any woman go, yes?

Like, no, bro.

Like, her friends were ballsy as hell.

Like, ballsy.

R.

Kelly's a little much.

And it definitely sounded like, and the whole, like, they were laughing and everything.

It was like, oh, no, they were doing the kind of like awkward laugh of like diffusing a situation, trying to diffuse a situation.

But look, man, he also entered

the gladiator arena of people who are going to make you, like, insult you better than anyone.

Oh.

18 and 19?

19?

You're dead.

Devastating.

Born and raised on TikTok.

Just gonna, they're singing Ignition at you.

Bro.

I didn't even know 19-year-olds knew Ignition.

They know the remix to Ignition.

They know.

Yeah, they do.

You can't hide from that.

I fucking killed Eric with that one.

It's so good.

So they watch the documentaries.

They know exactly what's going on.

Yeah, no.

They're like deep in the Me Too movement.

There's no context where I'm going to willingly talk to teenagers because I'm scared of them.

Because what they're going to make fun of me.

They will rick.

They're going to make fun of me and it's going to hurt.

It's that John Mulaney joke of like, there's nobody in the world who can like find your weakness like a teenager.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Also, it's like your own friend was like, bro, that was your fault.

Yeah, your friend is like, you're delusional.

And he's like, no, I'm going to stay.

He's being, he's actually truly being your wingman right now by telling you you're being delusional and being creepy.

Exactly.

Being your wingman in that way.

Yeah.

Sometimes the wingman has to do that.

Yeah.

Emily makes a great point.

He referred to her as the birthday woman

in this post, which he definitely, I know for, you know, that he was typing out and he wrote birthday girl woman.

Back, back, back, back, back, back, back.

It's birthday woman.

They're like, hey, birthday girl.

It's giving cake.

It's giving Matt Gates.

Yep.

This guy really puts the Reddit and Predator.

Oh.

Nice.

That's a strike.

Thanks.

Bogey.

Edit.

Okay.

Verdict, asshole.

Not surprising.

There's an edit that he rewrote.

He's like, wait, hold on, hold on.

All right, guys, I get it.

I let my pride get in the way of things here.

Can't fix it.

We'll do better next time.

Okay.

Do better.

Let's see what these comments are because you know it's about to be ripped apart.

You're the asshole for being creepy, not taking a hint, and arguing about it to women who asked you to leave.

You're upset about being called a predator, but don't seem to care that your inappropriate behavior made a group of women in public feel uncomfortable.

Someone else said he is extra-you're the asshole for standing his ground when they asked him to leave.

What did he think would happen?

They would admire his persistence and realize they were wrong all along and he was actually a nice guy who they should all sleep with.

Someone else said, You're the asshole.

The fact that both the girls and your friend easily recognized that it was creepy to hit on her should tell you that it wasn't okay.

Okay.

He wrote this all out thinking he was right.

It is kind of funny imagining him like winning them over in an argument and then be like,

Yeah.

Yeah.

I did it.

And they're like, okay, can you go now?

Update.

Stop.

They're dating now.

Stop.

Update.

What's that face?

What does that mean?

What does that mean, Chain?

It's not his update.

It's hers.

Yeah.

Let's go.

That was so cool.

That was awful.

I call that the Messi.

I don't know if he does.

I'm the Lionel Messi of Reddit, they say.

I don't know if he does that.

I've never watched football.

Football.

Our football fans watching are pissed off.

Or they're like, hey, Messi do the wings in those ball.

Does Messi do the wings when he scores?

No.

I don't know.

I think they all kind of do the wings.

And you do the slide.

Yeah, you just slide.

Oh, the slide with the wings.

And you slide forward.

That's a good move.

Yeah.

That's a messy.

Anyways.

I can't do that on this on this.

What do you call this material?

This is...

Jute.

Jute.

Yeah, I can't do that.

I knew that.

I can't knee slide on juice.

Jute rug.

Big thing.

Yeah, big deal.

Big deal.

Was huge in the 2010s.

Yeah.

Update from the 19-year-old girl.

Get out of here.

I have never had a Reddit account before, but my journalism TA showed us it, and sometimes I'll just check the front page for news.

Earlier, I saw a post up there that basically described my birthday dinner like three weeks ago.

At At first, I didn't give a fuck, but now I just felt the need to clarify a few things, even though I know most people called him an asshole.

Some people got angry about the R.

Kelly comment and singing ignition.

Was it mean?

Yes, but I'm done being nice to creeps.

This was not a bar.

It was a bar and grill, but it was mainly a restaurant that just happened to serve drinks.

We were sitting near a family, so we weren't in a setting where people go to get hit on.

We were minding our business and keeping in the corner booth.

He came and wished me a happy birthday.

I said thanks and we all went back to our conversation.

I did appreciate being told happy birthday, but he stuck around.

We laughed uncomfortably and went back to our conversation.

He stuck around and kept interrupting us.

Each time he said something, we nodded and then turned our backs to him.

We said thank you, bye a few times, but he was still standing there talking to us.

His friend kept finding excuses to leave.

I was annoyed, uncomfortable, and disgusted, but I gave him a respectful, okay, have a good night.

Here's some cake for you to take home.

But he grabbed the cake and sat down in our booth.

No.

He said, the night's not over yet.

Predator!

Behavior.

Then my friend just snapped.

And if she didn't, I was going to.

When she called him R.

Kelly, she wasn't accusing him of being a pedo, but a creep.

30-year-old guys who hit on us are creepy and disgust us, point blank, period.

We were nice the entire time and I even gave them a million hints and cake for the road.

His friend was even finding reasons for them to leave.

Then he had the audacity to stand there and fight us on it.

I told him that he was way too old for us and it was creepy from the start.

When he left, we started singing Ignition among ourselves, not singing it after him.

It's a throwback that our parents put us on.

Instead of crying over our night being ruined by a creep, we turned it into a fun moment with karaoke.

P.S.

When he asked us our age and gave us his, we became a million times more uncomfortable.

Guy was 30 trying to get with 18 year olds at a birthday dinner.

We are used to old men bothering us and it's always gross.

To the if he wasn't ugly crowd, he was a decent looking fit guy.

If I never met him, I'd set him up with my aunt.

But he was in his 30s and that is way too old.

This isn't porn and I haven't met a single girl desperate for a 30 year old divorced dick.

Being called legal is demeaning.

Everything about it was sickening.

When he came over, announced his age, then asked us ours, I almost yaked.

It was like he was IDing us at a family restaurant.

Fuck out of here.

I'm tired of having to be polite to guys who are creepy and disrespectful.

Period.

Damn!

Period.

I would set you up with my aunt, Fitz.

That was crazy.

What if he commented underneath it being like, all right, so what's your aunt up there?

Yeah, literally.

How old's your aunt?

22?

I was going to say,

of course he left out the fact that, which most girls do, most women do.

They're like, no, thank you.

Have a good night.

No, thank you.

Have a good night.

Here's a piece of cake.

Good night.

Like the amount of politeness that we have to fucking do.

And then still, like,

I love this 19-year-old.

She just gave it to him.

Like, damn.

She gave him cake.

A corner booth?

That's.

Well, because when he said, I went to a bar and all ages are there, I was like, that's, I don't think that's how bars

work.

it was a fucking apple you're telegraphing it this is so good

that's insane he sat down and said the night's not over yet

which is very scary extremely scary i'm i'm i i mean he's lucky they didn't like call like the the staff on him right like they were being so nice to him yeah

yeah because you're just trying to de-escalate

which i know is like because they're terrified of him

and clearly like he's yeah he

my aunt, I love these girls.

I am loving it.

Oh,

brutal.

That's awesome.

You know, he saw this, too.

And he's like,

aunt.

Aunt.

Aunt.

And he's like, she said I was fit.

So, like, clearly she was into me, you know?

Oh, yeah.

You said I was fit.

Yeah.

Clearly, she thought I was hot.

So it's just like, she was probably embarrassed in front of her friends.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Totally.

It is, it is like, it is crazy, though, that he saw the night, that he like eagle-eyed the 19 on the cake and was like, let's go.

Which meant some of them were 18.

Yes.

Sure.

No, and I mean,

I feel like my point was proven.

That final paragraph, devastating.

She annihilated him.

Oh, 100%.

If you read this, he's dust.

And I love that she said, my journalist, TA.

Honey, she's in school.

Get your ass hot.

And she's in her, she's new to

her.

Divorce dick.

Yeah.

Brutal.

All right.

Our next one.

I don't know if anything can beat that.

These are so good, by the way.

And we're going to Disney World after this.

No.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

I can do it.

My neck's fine.

Oh, wait.

Oh, wait.

That's crazy.

I got it.

Okay.

Our next story.

This comes from relationship advice.

Am I the asshole for breaking up with my girlfriend because of a caught cheating prank?

Remember those shows?

Caught cheating?

Oh, cheaters?

Cheaters?

Cheaters?

is that what it's called

i think the show ended when he got stabbed oh yeah i think so yeah we call that a throwback just like ignition yeah yeah

i a 26 year old man broke up with my girlfriend 25 year old woman of two years because of something that happened recently and now my friends are saying i massively overreacted if this was all done for a tick tock i'm gonna be you know it was livid so a few days ago my girlfriend and a close mutual friend decided to play a prank on me The prank was that they filmed a scenario where I caught them in bed together, pretending they were hooking up.

They set up a hidden camera in the bedroom, and when I walked in, I saw him in just boxers and my girlfriend in a bra and panties, straddling him, acting like they were mid-hookup.

To make it more realistic, they even made some noises and tried to act like it was happening for real.

I was shocked, furious, and immediately confronted them as I thought it was real at first, like an actual betrayal.

And then I walked out of the room and started leaving the house when they followed me screaming it was just a prank and then showed me the video they'd been recording.

To be honest, I felt completely betrayed not just by the idea of the prank, but also because of how they had gotten undressed to film it.

I know it's meant to be funny to some people, but for me, it felt disrespectful and I was hurt.

The whole thing felt like a violation of trust, even though I know they weren't actually cheating.

I told her I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who would do something like that and I ended things right there.

She's devastated and our friends have been telling me I overreacted.

They think it was just a harmless prank and I should have taken it better.

But I can't shake the feeling that it crossed a line for me, especially with how intimate and uncomfortable it felt to see them in that situation, even if it wasn't real.

Now I'm left wondering if I made the right decision.

I'm starting to doubt myself because everyone else seems to think I blew it out of proportion.

What benefit does she get from doing that prank?

I mean, the views, bro.

There's a lot of people who do a lot of stuff on social media where I ask that question.

I don't think he's overreacting.

No, my God, no.

No.

Like, if you were in that relationship and they were like simulating sex as a joke.

They're like, that's a prank.

That's weird.

But you still straddled that person half naked who's my friend.

It reminds me of a question that gets asked around this office a lot, which is, what is a prank?

And it's kind of like trippy when you say that.

Some people don't know.

What is a prank?

What is a prank?

What is a prank?

And to me, a prank is supposed to be kind of like a joke that you pull on someone that does give them a rush of some emotion, but it's ultimately supposed to end in them laughing.

And it's supposed to be fun for the person you're pranking.

If the person you prank doesn't like the prank, then it wasn't a prank.

It wasn't a prank.

You actually just fucked with them in a way.

It just fucked with them.

And I think you should know the person you're pranking well enough to know what's going to work and what's not.

Because there are videos of people pulling off pranks on people where the person laughs their ass off.

Yeah.

And those are awesome, right?

Those are fun.

I mean

like punked and stuff like sometimes they cross the line

cross the line, but I think all of them knew I think the only the only shows the only ones that get a pass for me the mean pranks are the Japanese ones Those are hilarious, unfortunately like they get in the they get the porta potty and all the people

launches them out Yeah, like yeah, it launches them onto the lake and they're like holding on to the port-a-potty while they're like

there's ones where they would get into a port-a-potty and it would like flip backward and they're at the top of a a ski slope.

Yeah.

They're just going down.

Wait, I need to see this.

Oh,

Japanese prank shows are ruthless.

Yeah.

But here's the thing with those, that has nothing to do with their partner having sex with their best friend.

No.

You know what, fans?

They're going down a ski mountain.

Fine.

It didn't involve their whole fucking life.

Yeah, but the pants are down.

Like, and they go down to the bottom of the ski mountain and the wife and the best friend are like, oh, and also we're here.

Fuck it.

Wait, I'm sorry.

It has me thinking of my all-time favorite.

This is old school, where they would wait till people were walking down an alley by themselves and they would have a crowd of people run the, like sprint the opposite way, screaming, and the people would always be like, and they would start running too.

It was awesome.

Yeah.

That's funny.

But also devastating.

Again.

Your wife and your best friend are not fucking.

This is different.

Again.

I also think people need to know.

And we say this as people who make content on YouTube, you're going to try to make a prank and you're going to film it.

Know that most of the people who do prank content on YouTube, that it's all fake.

Yep.

The person they're pranking knows that it's all fake.

So fake.

Unless they're scaring them.

Those are my favorite.

When they're like coming around the corner and they're scaring them a lot.

Like scare tactics.

Yeah.

That shit was.

That shit was fucked up.

Unfortunately, I was entertained by that.

Yeah, me too.

But it's wrong.

But it's wrong.

So you're at that.

Cheating pranks.

Cheating prank is all the way back to the prank sort of golden era on YouTube, which totally sucked.

But it was like, yeah, there's a lot of those cheating pranks, and it was obviously fake.

Verdict, not the asshole.

Comments, not the asshole.

How does your girlfriend of two years not know you well enough to know what you'd find funny?

Like, even if you prank all the time with each other, she should know you and what you would find actually funny.

If you're not laughing, it's not actually a prank.

It's just them hurting you and then blaming you for being hurt.

OP responded saying, Yep, I told her that.

She says she wanted to try something new and unexpected unexpected and didn't think I would feel so strongly about it.

What?

Well, you don't know your boyfriend that well.

No.

Someone else said, so two adults who were comfortable enough being in their underwear together and assuming a sex position think you are overreacting?

OP responded, I can't make it make sense either.

You made the right decision.

Other people don't get to decide what sort of prank goes past your line for pranks.

If your ex-girlfriend really was devastated, maybe she'll learn that trying to pull elaborate pranks can backfire on her and she won't do it to other people in the future.

Not the asshole.

Update.

Yes.

Ooh.

My ex-girlfriend was really upset with all the hate she received online and blamed me for painting her in a bad light.

I told her I did no such thing.

She just didn't like that she got called out and on her behavior.

The mutual friend who was part of the prank is now also pissed off at me and saying I went way overboard.

I told them both to fuck off and have blocked their numbers.

Our friends have since started taking this more seriously after reading some of the comments on here, with a few taking my side and saying what my girlfriend and the friend did was horrible.

Others still think this was all unnecessary and I should have just laughed it off and moved on.

No.

No.

No.

No, what they did was just, it was like,

really?

Like, why?

It was just dumb and insensitive.

And then also to be like, how dare you make me look like an idiot?

It's like, You made me look like an idiot.

Yeah.

The whole point of the video that you were also filming without my permission

was supposed to make me look, I was the focus of this video I didn't know I was going to be in.

Right.

That alone.

Yeah.

I just can't stop picturing someone in a porter potty going down a ski slope and then having them have sex.

I mean, I would

at the end of the ski slope is his wife and some guy.

With divorce papers.

Were you tricked?

Pranked?

Pranked.

He's like, what?

With divorce papers and a DNA test that shows that the son is not his.

Yeah, exactly.

And he's like, what son?

And she's like, pranked.

She just really goes too hard.

God dang.

Yeah, that's bad.

He did the right thing.

He did the right thing.

Our final story.

This story was covered on two hot takes on an episode that Courtney was in.

Ooh.

So Courtney's take is out there.

And now it's time for our takes.

Ooh, our takes.

It's time for three hot takes.

Ooh.

Do you just call us all hot?

No, our takes are hot.

Oh.

No.

Sorry.

That sucks.

We're all in our 30s.

It's okay.

Well, you're.

Yeah.

I'm.

Yeah.

I'm kidding.

And you're.

No.

I'm actually not.

Yeah, baby.

Yeah.

Let's go.

Let's run with that.

Let's do it.

All right.

Okay.

Our final story.

Am I the asshole for telling my fiancé I don't want my Timu engagement ring?

Ooh,

brother Timu is a, like, it's a, uh,

it's like a Shein.

It's like an app or website where you get really cheap stuff.

Do you remember Wish?

Wish.com?

Uh-oh.

But it's, it's just a site where you get really cheap stuff.

Okay, got it.

Imagine Amazon, but like a hundred times shittier.

Yeah, like Shein.

Yeah.

It's it's Shein.

Okay.

Okay.

So it's a 27-year-old woman.

My fiancé, a 29-year-old man, proposed to me a few weeks ago.

It caught me completely by surprise, but we've been together for three years and things have been going great, so I was really excited and said yes.

I really liked the ring when I first saw it, and my friends and family all think it is stunning.

It's an oval cut with diamonds across the band.

I asked where he got it and he wouldn't tell me where, but that he got a great deal on it.

I didn't think anything of it until yesterday when we were in bed and I asked him if it was diamond or moizenite, mainly out of curiosity.

I don't have a preference by the way.

He said he didn't know and would have to look it up.

When I glanced over at his phone, he was in the Timu app.

I asked him if he got got it from there and he didn't respond.

So I asked again and he responded with something like, does it matter?

He left the room and ended up sleeping on the couch.

I spent all night so confused.

Today I decided to download the app and look up my ring and I found one that looks identical.

I found the exact ring and it's listed at $38.

I am mad.

He makes good money, around $200,000 a year, and I feel like he could have shelled out some money for a ring better than the one on Timu.

Am I the asshole for telling him I don't want it?

This is tricky.

I think

where the issue could come

is that's like costume jewelry.

So I'm wondering if like that gold or whatever is going to start wearing off.

Yeah, turn on.

Like a $30 ring, I don't think,

I don't think that's going to last.

Yeah.

So I, to me, it's once again of like,

this is,

he does not know his fiancé or he doesn't know his girlfriend, right?

Because this, it clearly did matter to her to some degree about her, like what the ring is.

And there are tons of people who don't have like fancy rings.

Yeah.

But there's, it's like, there's still, it's such an important thing to have some thought put into it.

Do you wear it every day?

Yeah, it doesn't have to be expensive, but like to have some meaning to it is important.

But he just got it off a.

The fact that he didn't know what the stone was, didn't like think about, oh, this is like a stone that has meaning to you or that's going to turn my face.

I know people who have like silicone rings or like wooden rings or all sorts of things, but just something that has some meaning to it maybe.

Clearly it's important to her is what I mean.

Because there are people who are like, oh, I don't give a shit what the ring is.

Right.

But she's not one of those people.

I think his ego is hurt, but I think this does happen where.

The person is like, oh, I don't like my ring.

And the person who proposes like, their ego is hurt for a little bit.

And it can be a tricky space but I do think at the end of the day marriage you have to work together on it it's like let's talk about what ring you do want yeah at the end of the day and also because this is gonna be temporary it is this ring is going to

turn her finger green fingers going green in like two weeks yeah

definitely the verdict is not the asshole comments not the asshole because that thing might turn your finger green he's lucky you don't have a sensitivity to fake metals like some do he makes good money but bought a a $38 ring.

Is he cheap with other things where discount shopping isn't a new thing for him and he's just an all-around penny pincher?

My first thought was, did he not spend the money because he doesn't want slash expect this to last?

OP said yeah.

OP said yeah, let me provide some more context.

Really, he's never been overly frugal.

I'm probably more frugal than he is.

Neither of us are huge spenders, but we each make enough to not have to strictly budget or anything.

We have our own accounts and split rent equally.

I know he has at least $100,000 across his savings/slash investment accounts.

We go out for drinks a few times a week and we'll go to concerts together and whatnot frequently.

We travel a few times a year and stay in basic accommodations.

Ugh, like our DoorDash the other night was $40.

My ring costs less than door dashing dinner.

Yep.

I think he just, I think he needed to talk to someone and get advice on

what to do because I don't think he fully wrapped his head around that this finger will, this ring will turn her finger green.

And also,

yeah, I don't know what he was thinking.

But, but I'm not confused because she's like, he's not fruit, he's not frugal, we're not in a financial bind.

Yeah, this is confusing.

I kind of feel like he just saw it and was like, oh, that's pretty.

I have two weeks until I have to propose to her.

I could get this ring in a week.

I don't know.

Cause like

that's the thing.

I'm like, what were you doing?

Timu, because Timu also, like, don't they like throw a bunch of shit at your face?

And they're like, buy this.

Buy this.

No, no, buy this.

Now buy this.

Yeah.

And I wonder if like he just got served that ring and was like, that's it.

Yeah, I've done it work.

And he panicked.

He's like, oh, $38.

That's awesome.

Here we go.

$38.

And he knows he fucked up because he was so,

he was like avoiding the question, like, did you buy this on Timu?

I'm going to sleep on the couch.

Yeah.

He knew.

Exactly.

But yeah, you don't, guys, don't buy costume jewelry for wedding rings.

And it doesn't exist.

It doesn't have to be expensive at all, actually.

When you wear something every single day, it needs to have wear and tear.

But like, dude.

Update.

After reading responses from my first post on the MIT Asshole subreddit, it got taken down.

I was freaking out a bit.

He came home while I was FaceTiming a friend about this.

I hung up with her and then talked to him for an hour or so.

He apologized for sleeping on the couch and that he needed time to think.

He doesn't see eye to eye with me on my concerns about the ring and says he did research and that it was highly rated.

He says if the ring breaks, he will replace it, but didn't say it'd be higher quality.

I have people messaging me that the ring could be harmful to my health and that Timu has horrible standards for their jewelry and labor issues, so now I really don't want to wear it.

He left and went to his brother's house.

Usually I'd go with him, but things are just tense.

Am I the asshole for telling him I still don't want it?

No.

No.

You're not.

Update number two.

Oh my god, yes.

I'm literally just sitting here refreshing your comments, trying to figure out what to do next.

He texted to let me know he plans on staying at his brother's for the weekend and is taking Friday off.

It's not crazy abnormal since he's been watching football over there, but I feel like he's avoiding me now.

I'm trying not to be pushy about the situation and I'll give him some space, but ugh, now I'm just in my head about all of it and regretting my initial reaction.

It's just a dumb ring, and maybe I've read into it too much.

The only other time we've had an argument like this,

it was resolved within a couple hours, so I'm not used to this behavior from him.

Update number three.

Yes.

Update machine over here.

He came home this morning while I was in a work-from-home meeting.

These comments made my head spin all night.

I got like three hours of sleep, so I admit I may be in the wrong for bringing up his finances, but I did.

Ari, the gold digger, rumors when we met I was making more than him and often paying for his things.

His high-paying job is a recent development.

I have my own money and don't need his.

I asked him what was going on, if there was anything he needed to tell me, if he was testing me by doing this.

Well, that really set him off.

What kind of person do you think I am?

You think I'm a cheapskate, a liar?

You obviously think really poorly of me.

But still, he never gave me a reason.

So I asked why he was deflecting every question to victimize himself and to avoid my questions.

He tried to leave again.

So I tried de-escalating and told him, I see where he's coming from, but I need to know if he still loves me.

He was immediately apologetic and still wants to get married.

He said, I can just pick my ring out and buy it with my own money.

He said he's sick of talking about this and it's water under the bridge now.

He's acting like his normal self again since this convo.

I hear him out there skipping around and humming to himself all happily and it's actually pissing me off.

Maybe I'm being dramatic, but I don't think I can handle a marriage with someone like this.

Honey, you're not being dramatic, this man

is just.

No.

I think I know what can fix this relationship.

What?

Bowling night.

Bowling night.

You get matching bowling on the bowl.

Two beer towers.

Two beer towers.

And then when that goes wrong, you go to Disney World.

You go to Disney World and you talk about your second best goddess sex times.

Right.

He.

No, you can't marry this guy.

Like, what?

What are we talking about?

Yeah.

You buy your own ring.

Just admit you fucked up

and then work together on getting a better ring.

It doesn't have to be...

Yeah, if this is your future wife, don't you want her to be happy?

No, he's he's focused on winning, yeah,

like

yeah,

yeah,

um, okay, thank you both for being here.

Whoa, no more updates, no more updates, thank god.

There's nothing else to update on that, yeah,

they're done, they're done, I think they're done.

I think this was one of my favorite um Reddit Story episodes because

the stories were all bangers, they were

so good.

Yeah, these were really good, Yep, pretty solid.

And they'll also be solid at Smosh Reads Red Stories Live on March 8th.

We're doing it live.

We're doing it live.com.

And we're going to have a live audience.

Those tickets are likely sold out by now, but you can go get tickets at live.smosh.com and it'll be like you're there with us in person.

Get your pancakes out, watch the live stream.

It's going to be a blast.

So we'll see you there.

And we'll also see you next Saturday, as always.

Yay!

Bye.

Bye.

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