The Most Unhinged Dating Stories | Reading Reddit Stories

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Hello and welcome to Reddit Stories.

I'm Shane and today's theme is all about some wild dating stories.

And I am joined by two people who I think have had wild dating lives, Tommy and Chance.

Woo!

You just kick him on the load down.

If we both did that, the couch would fall apart.

It would just rip in half.

You can do yours now if you want to.

Woo!

That's a good roller coaster right there.

Thank you.

So these stories apparently pretty wild.

That's great.

Apparently.

I mean I feel like most of the dating ones are.

Yeah.

People get crazy in love.

Yeah.

It's true.

Okay.

Shall we just go get right into it?

Let's do it.

Okay.

I'm down for some wild stories.

We know this first one's gonna be good because it comes from best of Redditor updates.

Okay.

It's gonna be a couple parts to this.

The guy I'm dating, so 36-year-old man, has a shrine to my 37 year old woman ex-husband in his house.

The guy I'm dating has a shrine to my ex-husband in his house.

The guy I'm dating has a shrine to the

ex-husband in his house.

You have an ex-husband.

You're dating me.

I have a shrine to your ex-husband.

Why?

I was married for seven years to a celebrity.

And there we go.

Celebrity in quotes.

Okay.

I put it in quotes because while most of you have never heard of him, he is a A-list in the world of metal music.

If you're a metalhead, you 100% know who he is.

Maybe someone in this room might know, have an idea.

As we discuss this.

We split amicably because he was always going on tour.

I used to love going with him, but the thrill of it wore off and I found myself sick of traveling so much.

Because of this, we grew apart, but still keep in contact occasionally because despite the fact our marriage didn't work, he is a really cool, nice person.

Two weeks ago, I met a guy through a friend that I immediately hit it off with.

We have been on three dates so far.

The first two dates were drinks after work.

He showed up in nice khakis and a button down both times.

On our latest date, I went to his house to watch a movie.

Literally watch a movie.

We are taking the physical stuff slow, lol.

He has a nice house, so I asked for a tour.

After he showed me the upstairs, he said he had to show me his game room.

We went down into a fully furnished basement with a pool table, a mini bar, and darts.

Okay.

But there was something very weird down there also.

Apparently my new man is really into metal music.

Would never have guessed based on how he dresses.

And his favorite artist of all time is, you guessed it, my ex-husband.

Yes.

He had framed posters of all my ex's bands, autographed signature guitars, and every record he has ever released were framed on the walls.

He even had magazine articles about him and some of his bands framed.

Every wall in his game room was covered with my ex's face and his signature guitars.

So I may have messed up here, but I kept my mouth shut and didn't say anything.

He knows I'm divorced, but he definitely doesn't know it's from his idol.

Girl.

We are seeing each other tonight for our fourth date and I know I need to tell him, but how?

I really like this guy, but I'm afraid if I tell him he will freak out and run.

What should I say?

Where should I tell him?

I just don't want to damage our relationship because I can really see it becoming long term.

I know I should have told him at his house, but honestly, I was in shock.

Does anybody know how to approach this?

And he has his final part of the collection, his ex-wife.

Yeah, wow.

I finally collected everything.

Are you sure he doesn't know?

Yes, that's what I was going to ask.

And he's a big fan.

If he has got magazine articles, he's got all this shit.

He knows he was married to someone.

Yeah.

This dude knows.

If he's a die-hard.

He's a diehard.

He's like, I want to.

I want to kiss the girl that he kissed.

No,

no.

He's got to know.

But also, she should have told him right then, right there.

Yeah, that was a good idea.

Because also,

he knows.

She should have been like, oh, he definitely knows this guy.

He probably knows who I am.

Right then, right there, get it over with.

Rip off the band-aid.

He's there just like, yeah, I'm such a huge fan of him.

He must be so awesome to have sex with.

I wonder if he's a really good husband.

Okay, comments.

I find it really hard to believe that he has a shrine of your ex-husband to the level you're describing, but doesn't know who you are.

Maybe I'm jaded, but it seems too coincidental and potentially unsafe for you.

OP said, a lot of people are saying this, and now I'm a little freaked out.

I mean, he can Google him and find out we were married.

Right.

Now I'm scared he did.

I'm going to ask my friend that introduced us if she told him.

He has Googled him so many times.

Yeah.

I'm a little,

I guess maybe I'm a little surprised because, you know, we're all like public figures in a way.

And it's like.

We know that information gets out there, even information that you do everything you can to keep secret.

Yeah.

That I'm kind of surprised that she was married to him for seven years and she's not even questioning

whether he's like if his whole basement is filled, it's like he's Googled him.

He's Googled him.

Yeah.

He's Google him.

Imagine having never Googled the man.

He's like, I've never Googled him.

I don't know anything about his life.

He knows.

Someone knows.

How else can he get all that shit?

Which does make it freaky that he hasn't brought it up to her maybe

once he showed it.

But also, it's like, I'm going to show you this.

Like, do you have anything to say about this?

Someone said, have you ever been in photos with your ex-husband that this new guy might have seen?

I find it hard to believe that in this day and age, he wouldn't know who the former wife of his idol is.

She said, This never dawned on me until I posted it, but there are pictures of us all over the internet.

Now I'm a little freaked out that he already knew.

Lastly, someone said, If he's such a fan, he knows you.

OP said, Yeah, I think you guys are all correct, and I don't think I should continue seeing him.

I'm beginning to think it's not a coincidence at all.

Okay, update.

Also, Carrie from Sex in the City says, friends who set friends up with other friends are the most evil people on the planet.

So this girl, I don't know who, she has not been mentioned, but Miss Girly thing, who's ever setting her up, she was doing some nefarious shit, I bet.

Two weeks ago, I met a guy through a friend.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's it.

I'll put it on her.

I'm going to name her Emma.

Fuck you, Emma.

Sorry.

Emma.

Okay, update.

Well, after getting a huge range of answers, some of which were kind of frightening, I decided to give the new guy the benefit of the doubt and go ahead with our dinner date that night, our fourth date.

So I met him at the restaurant and we had some wine first.

We were just talking and chatting and I realized that I had to bring up the ex-husband thing.

So while we were both two glasses of wine in, I decided to just ask him flat out if he knew that I was previously married to his favorite musician.

He laughed nervously and said, yes, I knew, but my friend didn't tell me.

I figured it out.

He told me essentially that he found out through the grapevine that he decided decided to start mingling with my friends so he could meet me.

He told me that yes, at first it was just because I was married to his idol, but that now he is really developing feelings for me.

I thought it was a little odd.

A little odd.

No, this is stalker shit.

This guy's kind of quirky.

But it's also he's looking at her through the lens of his idol.

He's not even looking at her for her.

Right.

I thought it was a little odd, but I felt fine with it until I remembered his man cave basement.

I asked him if he knew I was married to his favorite musician, then why the fuck would he bring me down there to show me all of the memorabilia?

His response was too weird for me.

He said, I was trying to see if you would confess.

I was like, confess to what?

And he said, to my being married to my ex.

I told him that I thought it was pretty concerning that he tried to trick me into some weird confession and that I didn't think we would work out.

He accepted it and didn't seem upset or anything.

Dinner had already been served, so we started eating when he proceeded to bombard me with questions about my ex.

And now we're on to the real, the real reason we're all here.

When is is he releasing new material?

What is his favorite band?

What does he do during the day of a show?

Is he vegan?

What's his mother's maiden name?

Okay, so I made up the last one, LOL.

Blah blah blah blah blah.

Finally, he could sense my discomfort, and we ended the dinner and parted ways.

He said he would text me the next day, just as friends, which I said was okay.

Well, his text the next day was trying to get him and his friends VIP passes when my ex comes near us to play.

I did not respond, and I blocked his number because he kept texting again and again, begging me for the hookup.

It was desperate and weird.

Anyway, I called my ex to warn him about this dude, even though he seems harmless.

He doesn't know where I live, and I didn't get any psycho vibes.

I think he just wanted me as a trophy, as some user put it in my last post.

You.

Thanks, Reddit.

I'm sorry, you didn't get any psycho vibes?

Yeah.

Girlie, you need to be a little more aware.

So he became friends with Emma in order to get to her.

Yep.

That is, that is like Mega Mind crazy shit.

I will never get it.

That is like the Joker planning a giant Gotham extravagant shit.

It really is.

I've never understood because I'm such an introvert and I'm like so shy that becoming friends with people is already hard enough for me.

But whenever I hear about people becoming friends to get to someone else or like just dating someone to get to someone else or like using people as a stepping stone socially has always fascinated me because I'm just like, man,

that's a whole lot.

Yeah, it's a lot also like putting I get it kind of but it's like putting if you're going for someone specifically you need to go to that person not go around them yeah if you don't know what you're going to I think it's okay to cast a wide net meet some people like you're like I'm not sure about this person meet them then they show you their people and then you just kind of that's what networking is it's kind of like yeah but you're going into it like I just want to meet some people yeah you're not I want to no connect with you you're never you're never looking at someone as a means to an end you're you're fascinated by every person individually as well.

And that's fine.

That is how networking works.

Networking is being like, I'm friends with you.

And, oh, I've met people through you.

And now I'm friends with them.

And now I'm meeting people through them.

That's fine.

He did this with the intent

of getting to other people.

Seven degrees of separation.

Never okay.

He's got an end goal.

Yeah.

He was never interested in Emma as a human.

He needed her to get to her.

Well, I'm glad OP escaped that.

And he was never interested in her either.

Yeah.

He was never O.P.

He was not.

It was the idea of her.

And as soon as she said, we can just be friends, he's like, great.

I need this from you.

I need this from you.

I need this from you.

Oh, God.

She, frankly, needs to be a little more paranoid.

That's what, yeah,

she is not paranoid enough.

Well, I think, yeah, I guess her husband is...

a celebrity, so she might not have to be that.

Well, the thing is, yeah, the thing is this, though, like, it's almost the more niche of a community you're in, the more interesting fans are.

I don't know what Metalhead fans are like, but I know that's not mainstream stuff.

That's true.

But like, for them, it means so much more to them.

Yeah, right.

So they're way more die-hard about it.

There's probably, I don't know.

That community is usually a little, they're usually sweethearts.

It's a lucky community to have to do all this within.

I've usually heard that Metal is like a really chill

fan base.

Because they get all their anger out in their music.

They're all yelling.

They're like, ah.

Yeah.

Like, let's make a sandwich.

Wild.

Wild.

That hits a, what, like an eight or nine on the wild scale.

Yeah, no.

That's just.

That's scary.

That's like a stalker, like straight up.

Okay, it's fair to bring this up.

Is this, would this, any realm of this be a deal breaker if someone knows you or something

like from from your career, from Smosh or from YouTube?

Does that happen often to you?

No.

It's happened twice to me, and it's not a deal breaker.

Really?

Really?

If they pretend like they don't, and then I found out they did, and they're like, I actually, I'm not, then that weirds me out.

Yeah.

But if they come into it and they're just like, hey, by the way, you're hilarious.

Love your shit.

Hey, let's go drink.

Then you're just like, oh, boom, I'm in.

That's fine.

I think there's levels to it.

I never experienced it.

And, you know, out here in LA, you might experience a bit, like, they might be also a peer where they're like, oh, I'm an actor.

Oh, I've seen your stuff like yeah

but a fan like where they're like oh I'm a fan I've watched tons of your stuff oh yeah I think where I would would have had an issue with it is that I'm like oh you know an idea of me yeah and this is gonna be complicated because this is this is

disappointing because it's kind of like oh you know the mask that I've put out would you like to get to know the person under it

I love your take

my take is like oh you know, the mask I put out.

Are you ready to be disappointed?

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

There's levels to it.

I'll also say my sun sign and my rising sign are the same.

So it's very easy for me because I feel like the mask that I put out is also.

I think there's levels to it, but there's also the thing of, okay, did you seek me out?

Oh, that's what I'm saying.

Because

that's a thing.

It's like, oh, if it's...

happenstance.

But see, in this situation, he sought him out.

He sought her out.

And that I think is inherently a problem.

Shane, I think I'm so crazy broken

because I'm like, at least they're coming after me.

At least someone is putting in some freaking effort.

Wow, you went out of your way to track me down and find me?

Yeah, let's go to dinner.

Okay, so you need to be more paranoid.

Is that crazy?

Yeah, I'm going to get kidnapped.

And you're like, he's taking me somewhere.

He's taking me on the girl.

I'm going to be the means.

I love surprises.

I'm like, what is what is the blindfold for?

I'm like, ooh, you're weird.

I've heard the take too, and you know, like I said, you know,

this is far removed from me because I'm not dating anyone.

I haven't for years.

But I've seen the take of like

a person and a fan can never date because there's an inherent power imbalance there.

Like the person who's a fan is going to kind of like already be enamored in a way, and that kind of creates this

imbalance.

And I was like, I thought that's really interesting

once again I think there's just a lot of levels to it it depends on how much of a fan you know because someone might watch and be like oh I've seen your stuff I really like your stuff that is kind of one thing you know it's it's are they a but a dot like a fan of this level yeah where they have images of you around their house it's like that would be crazy that might be the relationship is fan and entertainer and it needs to stay that way because then you're also cherished that's a cherished relationship right there that's a real thing But

when you try to combine two different things or transition one from another, that makes sense.

I think it can be tough.

Then you're locked into being entertaining forever in your personal life.

Yeah, you know?

Yeah.

Oh, that's awful.

Yeah.

But a lot of different situations that arise.

I mean, but anyways, it's an interesting thought.

Our next story.

Relationship advice.

This is a 28-year-old woman.

My boyfriend, who's 29, grabbed a stranger's ice cream.

can't believe this actually happened

was it a baby

my boyfriend stole candy from a baby and it was really easy

it was frankly really easy okay so her boyfriend's her boyfriend grabbed a stranger's ice cream right off the bat it doesn't say stole

poison in it no he just grabbed it

no he just grabbed it and squeezed it

it's like somehow worse than stealing their ice cream at least he did Yeah.

We were out walking around this evening.

He'd mentioned wanting to get ice cream, but hadn't brought money, and neither had I.

We usually take a walk after dinner and don't buy stuff during it unless we decide beforehand we want to get something that night.

So as we're walking past a group of people, he made a sudden movement to the side and then started running in the opposite direction at full speed.

It was so fast, I hadn't seen exactly what he did.

People were saying things like, holy shit, and oh my god.

One guy said, he took my ice cream.

And that's when I realized what happened.

He fucking stole this guy's ice cream on a busy street.

Well, I was absolutely shocked and mortified.

Everyone around us had seen it or else quickly got told about it.

They were staring and pointing down the street where he was still running.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

I apologized repeatedly to the man whose ice cream he grabbed, then said I was going to go find him and got myself out of there.

Utterly humiliating.

Well, he'd nearly made it back to the house in that time.

I got there a few minutes later and found he had been crouched in the stairway furiously eating the ice cream out of the cup.

Wait, what?

What?

What?

He was gonna turn back into a rat if he didn't get the ice cream before midnight.

Chance, come on.

Oh, right, bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye.

He scrambled when he heard me coming, dripping ice cream everywhere.

Looked like a deer in headlights.

He literally left the cup on the stairs and ran away from me up to our apartment.

But I had the key.

But I had the key, so he was just standing there when I got there.

I, of course, demanded an explanation.

He had the balls to deny he'd done anything.

No, he insisted he didn't know what I was talking talking about.

No.

I sort of lost it and started yelling at him.

The cup is down on the stairs.

Your hands and mouth are covered in it.

A dozen people literally saw you snatch it right out of the guy's hand.

What the fuck do you mean you don't know?

He then changed his story and said it was just a joke.

What the fuck?

He decided to reenact a YouTube prank video on a random stranger.

How is that a prank?

After I let us inside, I kept asking what makes him think that's okay to do.

He then changed the story again.

This time he said he doesn't know why he did it.

It was just an urge.

I didn't even know what to say, so I told him I needed some time to myself.

I'm seriously disturbed.

He's got no good reason.

This is completely out of character for him.

He's always very mild, reserved, and treats people, especially me, very kindly.

He's the last person I'd thought would do something like this.

What do I do next to figure out what the fuck that was about?

How can I even know he's being honest?

Hey, babe, um, we need to talk.

You grabbed a random man's ice cream.

Why?

This

is

something I think about a lot: about how quickly you can just ruin your own life.

About how just anyone walking on the street, I'm just like, I could just grab that guy's ice cream and run.

Yeah.

Yep.

And just eat it somewhere.

Like, I could just do it.

You can do something just unpredictable.

Every time I'm in a museum, I'm like, what if I just went insane and ripped all the paintings off the wall?

It's something you could do.

Art galleries are a crazy place to be where you're just face to face with a Picasso and you're just just like I could fuck that up right now

Just

I just lick it like what and what now

and what are you gonna do and what are you gonna arrest you you're under arrest

What are you gonna do about it?

Yeah

It sounds like this is

like you know how people joke a lot about like I let the intrusive thoughts win and I got a donut.

It's like that's not an intrusive thought.

No, we all want a donut all the time.

But this sounds like a, this sounds like an intrusive thought one.

Yeah, I was about to say, this sounds like something just took over him and he did it.

It does sound like...

It does.

I do believe him that I believe the YouTube prank.

There is some reality in which I can believe a guy was like, a 28-year-old straight male is like, this will be funny.

And then it turns out not to be funny, but it seems like it's such an era of like jackass humor that isn't around anymore.

Yeah, and there's nobody filming it.

There's no I was just about to say, there's no one there to react to it.

It's just

for the moment.

It's just to be like he left her behind.

Yeah, he left her behind.

He denies it once she finds him.

And you have to tell her if you want, if she's the audience, you have to be like, I'm about to do a prank.

Yeah.

Which it will set it up.

And then there's expectations there.

And then she's like, oh, this is.

This is not funny, but I now know what's going on.

Right.

I don't think it was the YouTube prank.

My only possible thought.

There's two possibilities.

One, this is a fake story.

Two,

that

what's being written is fake

on Reddit.

Everything on Reddit is real.

Yeah.

I mean, look.

Period.

We, for fun, always take everything as just like, okay,

what if this is real?

But in this case, I'm like, this is really out there.

But people do stuff like this.

I'm not saying it doesn't happen.

This could happen.

This very easily could happen.

And if it did happen, and a friend was telling me this, I'd be like, I don't think it's the YouTube prank.

That was his second explanation.

His first was deny.

His second was that.

The deny was weird.

His final one was like,

was his final one was he doesn't even know why he did it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was just an urge.

That's probably what I believe.

I believe that.

I just think he just was like, he did it.

And once he did it, he had to commit 100%.

There's no way.

There's no way.

That to me says like you had a break in your consciousness.

Yes.

Like you had a blackout and you are

that is like possession.

Like you were possessed by something otherworldly.

It does happen to people.

Oh my God.

Lastly,

a note was written down by Bailey.

It's also unsanitary.

He doesn't know like he grabbed someone at random person's ice cream.

This was bad in every possible category.

Yeah.

Comments.

I would honestly ask him if he's okay, both financially and mentally.

Try not to attack him or make it sound like an accusation.

Someone else said, how long have you been together?

Either this behavior is new and something has gone wrong with him, or you need to put some more effort into getting to know your partners.

Also, check your CO level sensors.

Someone else said, are you sure your boyfriend isn't a raccoon?

Right, right.

That's what I said.

Update, which you desperately need.

Yeah.

So I finally got the explanation from him yesterday.

Turns out he was in a Discord server chat where the members all dare each other to humiliate themselves by doing outlandish things in public they'd never normally do.

He told me he's left the group because the experience was really stressful to him.

Not exciting like he'd thought when he joined.

It was the first time he'd taken one of the dares.

He said that afterwards he just didn't know what to say and couldn't believe he'd actually done it.

He was extremely apologetic for acting like a lunatic, causing me to worry about him.

We had a long talk about it last night.

I genuinely believe he regrets it.

He knows what a stupid fuck-up it was.

Not much else to say really.

Just wanted to come back now that I got the answers.

Thank you to everyone who tried to make sense of the original post and who gave me advice for talking with him.

I guess I believe that.

But it's like it wasn't filmed.

You could just say you did it.

But also, why not tell her before?

Or why do you have to do it with her?

Go do it by yourself.

Well, you don't know when you're going to walk past a man with a loose grip on an ice cream.

You don't know when that's going to happen.

That's true.

I don't.

He's holding it like that.

Okay.

So he gets dared by a Discord server, which they literally don't see if he does this or not.

He could have lied.

Yeah.

He could have just fully played it out in his head.

But he wanted to experience it.

He wanted to experience it.

But then he also didn't have to actually eat the ice cream, but he did.

I think once it started, he just flagged out and just ice cream.

The rush had to have been, frankly, awesome.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, it probably looks sick as hell.

This isn't.

This is.

This is.

It's just.

I can't believe this.

I, I, I, but peer pressure.

The guy is 29.

Boys will be boys.

I'm like, okay, I understand peer, I understood peer pressure at a certain point in my life.

I'm like, yeah, 29.

I'm, I'm not feeling peer pressure like that anymore.

I'm not doing that.

He wanted to do it.

He wanted to do it.

Yeah.

It seems like he thought it would feel different.

This is a childhood dream.

Yeah.

Yes.

And he finally made it come true.

Proud of him.

I'm not.

I'm not either.

I just feel bad for her.

Like, she deserved to know.

I'm not proud of him.

And, like, what did he expect was going to happen?

It was a really shitty thing to do to her.

Right.

He stole an ice cream and ran away and left her

crowd of people.

So she's just like

a girl emoji

horribly for her.

Yeah.

No, it was incredibly selfish of him.

She should have been like, oh, my God, let me buy you a new ice cream.

I don't know what just happened.

I think this, I think.

It's not on her either.

I think this should be a deal-breaker for her.

Oh, absolutely.

Without question.

Like, even though he's sorry, I'm just like, no, that was so disrespectful.

And it's like, what other dares or

he says he's done.

He says he's done, but he still was able to do that to her.

And I'm just like, that's not right.

That's a lot.

20 years later, he was like, I was dared to not do a dare for 20 years.

Oh, I

got you.

There's a whole lot of levels to, there's a lot of red flags.

There's probably red flags I'm not even catching in this story.

I don't love this.

I don't love how easily she forgave him for such extreme.

They're still together?

Yeah.

No, shame.

I just want to come back to that.

She's like, I genuinely believe he regrets it.

He knows what a stupid fuck-up it was.

I'm like, okay.

Like, all right.

When you love somebody.

Anyways, moving on.

This is a 35-year-old man.

My mother...

58.

My mother's new fiancé wants me to call him dad.

He's 24.

How do I navigate this?

The mother's fiancé is 24?

This is a 35 year old man who wrote this.

OP is 35.

My mother, who's 58, her new fiancé wants me to call him dad,

but he's 24.

How do I navigate this?

She's dating a 24 year old?

She's

engaged to a 24-year-old.

A 24-year-old, and that 24-year-old wants him to call him dad.

Yeah, right.

Yeah,

fucking right.

You know, age gaps are such an interesting thing to me, but especially when people have like kids

who are younger than their partner.

I'm like, how do you, how?

Yeah.

Like, come now, you, you have to, yeah, you gotta know what's going on.

Yeah.

Please buckle in because this is all so weird.

I'm a 35-year-old man, and for some backstory, my dad died when I was 19, leaving my mom with me and my two siblings.

I'm the oldest.

It took some time, but eventually my mom started dating again.

We don't live together per se, but our house is back onto each other and have a gate so it's pretty common for her to offer to do my laundry or me to just go over for dinner or go look after our dog, that kind of stuff.

Plus me and my siblings go over there for dinner every other Friday night or so.

The men she's been dating have been getting younger and younger and I've never had a problem with them.

She's been very open to me and my siblings that she wants to get married again and we've always been supportive, at least after the initial shocks, lol.

The latest guy is by far the most serious and they've been dating since around last June.

He proposed at the start of autumn and they want to get married next summer.

Again, me and my siblings are fine with this because it's her life and we trust him.

He's a nice guy and they clearly love each other.

But anyway, so long and short is, this weekend her fiancé, let's call him Phil, calls me and asks me if I could come over.

I say, yeah, sure.

I'll be over after work and I assumed he just needed help with some DIY stuff they're doing.

When I get over there, he calls me sport and says we need to talk.

I should mention this is something he does to me and my little brother, calling us things like kid, sport, scout, little little buddy, or my personal favorite, calling us red and blue, seemingly out of nowhere.

My brother is 30, by the way.

He tried it with my little sister, 28, too, once and called her princess, once, but he stopped when she just stared at him.

I'll wait.

The thing with Phil is that he reminds me a lot of Charlie Day's character in horrible bosses and that his sole ambition has always been to meet a girl, get married, and have a family.

When he told me and my brother this, my brother made some joke about how maybe our mom's going to come up short on the last part, and he got very upset, but they made up after.

Anyway, so I go around and ask if my mom's around, and he says, no, it's just him and that we really need to talk man to man.

I say sure, and he starts talking about how he's always wanted to be a father, etc., and raise a son to call his own, and then he drops this bombshell by saying, now I know I can never replace your father, the man who made you, but it would mean the world to me if you would call me dad.

I'll admit it, I snickered a little.

And then I knew he was serious because he looked like he was about to cry, and he didn't drop it either.

I asked if he really meant it, and he got really emotional and started talking about what it means to be a man and how his purpose is to have and provide for a family, and he wants me and my siblings to be a part of that family.

Like he reiterated, he'll never replace my father, and this did rub me the wrong way a bit, but he's ready to step up and be my dad and provide and protect for me and my siblings.

I just sat there thinking, dude, I'm a decade older than you and live in a separate house.

I don't need providing for.

And even if I did, I don't think a guy a third of my age who works part-time at the hardware store and is into collecting manga is the man to do it.

No offense if you are into that, LOL.

Just, I don't know.

I was a bit taken aback.

I was in shock, so I just said, okay.

And he gets emotional again, but in a happy way, talking about how he wants to go camping or go to a baseball game.

I don't even like baseball, L-MAO.

And how he joined the Lions this year and how he wants to bring me into it too as his boy, which just feels so surreal.

Even more so as I'm a shriner, so all this talk of service and charity isn't the brag he thinks it is.

Because again, I'm 10 years older than this guy.

Well, I ended it by just saying, this has gotten a bit too weird and I was going home.

He got very upset and I left, called my brother, and he agrees it sounds weird as fuck.

Later, my mom called me and she wasn't disappointed, but admitted it's made him very upset and depressed.

I told her that if he's embarrassed, he doesn't need to be.

I get he's excited about the marriage and we can just laugh this off as a funny story.

She then said that wasn't what he was upset about.

He, and she too a bit, is upset about the fact that he poured his heart out and I rejected him.

She said, yeah, it is a bit kooky, but this is how he proves himself he's a man.

And I guess I was a bit angry and said something like, first off, it's not my job to certify what's between his legs.

And second, this doesn't prove he's a man.

It just proves he's a nut job.

I apologized immediately, but she said she didn't want to hear it and hung up.

She called back 10 minutes later and we apologized and she begged me to just go along with it until he has some kids to call his own.

I won't go too much into the details here, but she sort of let slip they plan to try IVF treatment because she's not ready to give up on being a mom just yet.

And while I have my own thoughts about whether or not that's a good idea, I'm not here to litigate on that.

We finished up fine and I reiterated I'd support her and she agreed that it was definitely a stressful situation for me, but begged me to at least think about it which leads me here.

I did think it over and obviously I'm going to say no.

I had a dad and he died.

Rest in peace dad.

And that's the only dad I've ever needed, I've ever wanted, and I'll ever bestow that title on.

I'm not asking if someone's unreasonable or what I should do, more so what I should say.

This clearly means a lot to him for some reason and I deeply love my mom, so I want to try and minimize the damage, especially as we are still so involved in each other's lives and they live behind me.

How can I make it clear to them, as painlessly as possible that I think this is weird and borderline offensive?

I really don't want to rip the band-aid off because I fear what it might do to the family.

Whoa,

this is

wild.

Okay,

I like how the mom almost kind of admits that she's dating a boy.

Like a boy like like truly like because she's like he's trying to prove that he's a man.

I'm like you're 58.

Yeah.

You should be dating someone who's been a man.

Yeah.

For a long time.

Yeah.

You know, it's like describing him and describing like how he's thinking is like, you're admitting he's way too immature.

Yeah.

Right.

You're admitting it.

You recognize it.

So you recognize the power imbalance here.

Yeah.

Like this is not okay.

His mom and his wife.

Yeah, exactly.

It's like, you know, we talk about this because oftentimes we see these age gaps.

It's, it's the man is older.

This is no different.

This is just as messed up.

Like this is not okay.

And especially she's putting putting her children in such a weird position here and defending him to them.

Yeah.

Like defending him while also admitting that it's like, hey, I understand that this is a lot.

There's also this element of

he said

he poured his heart out to this guy.

He's like, this is what I want.

This is what I want.

And the guy said, no.

Right.

That's it.

You can't control other people.

You can say what you want, but you can't make other people do something they don't want to do.

Yeah.

Period.

And everyone applauded.

I and everyone applauded.

I'll say this too.

They're engaged, right?

This man is engaged to their mom.

I think this would be an inappropriate conversation, even if he was 60 years old.

Absolutely.

Like, it's like, no,

you're an adult.

You're a 35-year-old man.

Your father died when you were already an adult.

He doesn't, what he said is true.

It's like, he does not need another father.

Like, he had a father.

You don't get to do that.

Like,

that's not the case and it's like would you feel comfortable calling me dad because that's something i would like right that's how that's how you offer that thing yeah exactly um this is

this is a very unique situation yeah um this is extremely unique

24 is so young it's it's well and it's it's adding his behavior to it too like

um

he can't rent a car the details

that's exactly correct it cannot.

Like, I'm sorry, man, you're not ready to be a father to a 35-year-old.

Like,

like, you're not.

Like, I'm not saying a 24-year-old might be ready to be a father for a, like, a two-year-old.

Two-year-old.

Right.

But a 35, being a father to a 35-year-old is a whole new ballpark.

You don't even know what it's like to be 35.

No.

You won't for 11 years

for another decade.

I'm sorry.

You don't get to tell him how to live his life when you aren't ready for that either.

Exactly.

It's just extreme.

this is unfortunately extremely funny.

Oh yeah, it's hilarious.

Extremely funny.

Comments, I wonder if he grew up without a dad.

He's giving a weird 1950s energy to this whole thing that feels like he only knows what dads from seeing them on the television.

OP said, oh no, his dad's still alive.

Both his parents are.

I've met them.

They definitely feel odd about the whole situation, but go along with it for his sake.

Someone else said, such a crazy situation.

I think you should talk with your mom and maybe hang out with her fiancé, but as bros, not some weird dad situation.

OP said, I have offered this, but every time me and my brother do, he definitely tries to act like the man of the group or sets us up for more explicit father-son activities or just talks about how desperate he is to be a father.

A personal favorite was a time when he got his phone out and started reading some pearls of wisdom he'd obviously found online.

That's awesome.

Dude, this is...

Why are they putting up with this?

Why are they not communicating like, hey,

we don't need you to be a dad.

We don't like how you treat us.

Like, just be here with us as you, and we'll be us.

Like, it really seems that

he's like, come on, let's rough house.

And they just beat their shit out of it.

I'm also picturing this guy really short, like, really low.

I can't help but picture him as the chosen.

Yeah.

I'm just picturing like, I've always wanted to be a father.

Like, it's just like.

It should be said, this guy, like, in a way, this 24-year-old guy is doing doing nothing wrong because

he's clearly insecure.

He's in a weird situation where if I was in his situation, I would have no idea how to act or think.

Like, this is a really weird place to be, and he's trying to solve it in a way that is not the way to solve it.

It's got to be uncomfortable for him.

I don't know what to think.

I've never encountered a situation like this.

I've never heard of anything like this before.

Nope.

So let's see what happens next because we have an update.

So I told both my siblings, and we agreed we'd collectively put our foot down with Phil at our next family dinner next.

They're going to kill him.

Especially after an incident where Phil referred to my brother as sport and asked if he wanted to go see a baseball game with him.

I do love how it's like 1950s.

Yeah, it's also like, are you paying for the tickets?

Are you paying?

Are you doing that?

God.

You're providing your dad.

Yeah, you pay now.

I like to think that the 35-year-old there is standing there, but still the 24-year-old insists on getting down on one knee.

He's like, hey, champ, he's just talking right at his crotch.

He's like, come on.

Okay.

Admittedly, I was a bit spurred on by what you all said and got involved, pinging him back with, no tickets for me, daddy.

And my brother responded with, daddy wants me all to himself, hmm, hot.

And Phil took a few minutes to respond before saying he was shocked, speechless, and disgusted.

Hell yeah, I love this approach.

He then messaged me in private to say he was utterly appalled and that he'd never disrespect his own father the way you boys did.

I kind of lost it at this point and said, right, that's because you're not my father, Phil.

You're a 24-year-old man-child dating my mother.

You have no right to my respect, especially not to the respect a father gets.

I immediately said sorry, but then blocked his number and left the group chat.

Apparently he sent a similar thing to my brother, who responded with more daddy stuff, and Phil blocked him.

Well, uh, that aside, I don't think that family dinner is going ahead.

After the original post blew up, it seems someone from his Lions Club found it and reported it to their chair or whatever.

And Phil has either been expelled or resigned, or in the process of one of the two.

He has removed nearly all mentions of the Lions from his social media and no longer mentions being a member, with his last post on it being some cryptic goodbye post where he kind of drones on about what it means to be a man in the modern day and the duty of fatherhood bestowed on all men at birth.

Really weird shit.

My mom called me half in a panic, half in rage after about the stuff I'd been telling about him before breaking down and saying we need to meet, which we did and got my brother to go over to.

I know Phil has temporarily moved back in with his parents in the next town over, but from my understanding, they still want to go ahead with the wedding.

But I think that's more so because they've already spent money on it.

I have no idea what's happened with Phil or what's going to happen with him, but I did make it clear to my mom that he is not my dad.

He's not even my stepdad.

I'm not a kid, and he's never going to be either one outside of legal fuckery.

She relented pretty quickly.

I think she's finally broken out of her shell at least.

And we've agreed that if things go ahead, that it's going to be a huge red line, though.

I don't know if he'll want to be friends with me after all this LMAO.

Anyway, thanks for the help on the original post, y'all.

I just, I just can't believe, I don't know.

It's, it's,

this is wild to me, like, that his parents aren't like, hey, stop.

Yeah.

Stop this.

This is silly.

I feel bad because the amount of delusion this guy is in, he is living in some sort of.

I feel bad for the mom, too, kind of.

I feel bad for kind of everybody situation.

You just need to keep it separate.

Just go get married and keep the kids out of that.

Yeah.

Okay.

Update number two.

A second update?

A second update.

Bit of an update as I can't respond to everybody, but I think the marriage is off.

Phil has gone AWOL again and has had a huge argument with his family as they've demanded he call off the wedding and date people his own age.

This apparently made him snap.

Me and my mom have met his mom and older brother who said Phil is very insecure around girls his own age and has never been able to talk to them, hence his preference.

This very deeply upset my mom and after some begging from all of us, she has agreed to push the wedding back, though she wants to keep dating him.

I have no idea where Phil is, though his brother assumes he's couch surfing with his DD friends, who have been sending me and my brother some not-so-nice messages because clearly we're just jealous of the MILF hunter.

Oh.

Okay.

I think we have enough here to say this should stop.

Yeah.

I think we have enough.

I'm all full on.

I think that's.

I think, I don't even know if this guy is

acting like a 24-year-old.

He's acting younger than that.

So,

wow.

Yeah.

That down with Phil.

Down with Phil.

Phil the future.

More like Phil the Past.

That's right, dude.

That was sick.

It was not.

Wow.

Wow, that was crazy.

What's our wild scale point?

That's a 10.

10?

That's a 10.

I ought to give it a 9.

I'll give it a 9.

I'll give it a 9 as well.

9.

9's fair.

We need to always leave room for it to get crazier.

It's just the delusion is so.

The delusion was palpable in that one.

Yeah.

That was...

And at least he's he's consistent, I guess.

And persistent.

And a lot more than a lot of fathers are.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Maybe he would be a good father.

I hope someday.

I mean,

if we're playing devil's advocate, the 35-year-old didn't let him get him a chance.

He didn't even get a chance.

He didn't go to the baseball game.

Your father died, and this could be your new father.

Him like being like someone talks to him at the game.

Just like, I'm here with my dad.

And it's just like a 24-year-old just like, hey, I'm here with my son right here.

All right, moving on.

Okay, this next story comes from our relationships.

This is a 31-year-old man writing, My wife, who's 28, my wife.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

No, it was worth interrupting.

It was worth interrupting.

It was really worth it.

You get one.

Sorry.

Yes.

My wife, who's 28.

My wife.

I knew you were going to do it.

I knew you were going to do it.

I was about to do it.

I won't do it again.

I was about to if you weren't going to.

I won't do it again.

Okay, I won't do it again, I swear, I swear.

My

wife, who's 28, wants a divorce because I live an entirely different reality with my first love, who's 29, in my dreams.

Okay.

In your dreams.

My wife wants a divorce because I live an entirely different reality with my first love,

a 29-year-old woman, in my dreams.

No, what?

No.

What do you mean in your dreams?

Like when you're asleep?

I guess when he's asleep, he lives a different life with his first love.

Oh, I'm into that.

I get a day wife and a night wife.

Night wife.

This night wife.

Night wife.

This sounds like a romance novel.

It would be called Night Wife.

Wow.

Dream Wife.

Dream Wife.

Oh.

Okay.

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As I know, but here's the thing.

I am a lucid dreamer, which means I can, to an extent, control my dreams, which is something I find cool as it allows me to go on adventures while asleep.

It also makes scary dreams not so bad because I can just wake myself out of them.

Over the last year or so, I've been having a recurring dream about my ex, my first love, a 29-year-old woman.

Truth be told, I never got over her.

Okay, okay, what?

I just feel like you're admitting a thing there.

Yeah.

Is she still alive?

We'll find out.

Yeah.

Truth be told, I never got over her.

We were together for five years from 2015 to 2020.

We broke up after I graduated from college because she didn't want to move from New York to South Carolina with me, which is where the biggest industry for my field is.

I was crushed, but moved on and we've spoken sporadically over the years, although we never crossed any lines.

I will admit that I've kept up with her on social media a bit, but nothing stalkerish.

Well, a year ago, she announced she was getting married and I experienced a resurgence of feelings for her, although I never acted on them or told her.

That same night, I dreamt about her for the first time in years.

In the dream, she showed up at my door and asked me if I wanted to get coffee.

I said yes, of course.

The dream, which was not a lucid dream, ended there.

It felt so real, I couldn't shake the feeling.

the feeling once I woke up.

It felt like we were actually reconnecting.

Since then, I've dreamt about her several times a week and I've practiced becoming lucid so I've been able to control the outcome more times than not.

We've lived a whole life together over the past year.

Everything from dates to a trip to Paris together, which we visited while in college.

We even re-walked the same paths we did in real life.

It got to the point I was looking forward to going to sleep to be with her.

Fast forward to today, my wife told me she felt distant from me.

And I started to feel guilty because I thought what I was doing was harmless, but she's obviously noticed a change in me.

So I confessed, about all of it.

At At first, she thought that I was joking, but when she realized I was serious, she accused me of cheating on her and told her mom and sisters who are calling me a cheating weirdo.

She even threatened to tell my ex so she'll know what a fucking loser I am.

Now I get that it's not anything a woman would want to hear, but it's not like I physically cheated.

I don't want to lose my wife, but I don't think she can forgive me for this.

What a woman would want to hear?

It's a weird way to put that.

It is not like you are physically cheating, but

if you are consciously making this choice in your dream,

it makes me feel like you're, I mean, you are making the choice actively,

which makes me feel like if the opportunity presented itself,

would you make the choice in real life?

Because you're consciously choosing to do it.

You're already like practicing making that choice.

You're literally practicing.

Yeah.

He admits in the story, I never got over her.

Right.

Yeah.

Oh, in writing, you put that down in a break.

You wrote, I am not over her.

Right.

That's a, that's

a deal breaker.

Yeah.

That is a deal breaker for most people.

And he's making the conscious choice to fantasize about this and make, he's like, I'm going to practice lucid dreaming so that I can spend time with her.

Yeah.

Like this, and this, this all spurned on once he saw that she was getting married.

And he's like, oh, this resurgence of feelings.

I'm like, oh, I can't get her.

I'm like, this is, there's a lot here.

That I think is a problem.

I have a question.

Can you date another person if you're not over?

Like if you haven't gotten like I think you could I think oh, I think you can absolutely dating yeah like if you're talking about early stages of dating like I almost think that's important when it's like to get over someone, uh-huh, but he's been with this person for three years for three years

and he's saying oh, I'm not over this person.

I'm like she needs like yeah,

that should have been resolved you need to that needs to break this off if you can't okay great.

Yeah, that's where I think it's a problem.

Yeah.

No, that's that's but I also think it's why you know I was up front years ago.

When you get out of a serious relationship, when you're when you're dating and you're like, hey, I just got out of a serious relationship.

Yeah.

Like I'm still working.

You're upfront about those things.

He wasn't upfront about this.

And it's like, she's noticing he's distant.

Now,

I don't know what you call this, right?

Because it's like he's not actually talking to her.

Is it emotional?

It is.

It is.

But it's not, because the person's not.

To me, I'm like, I don't even care what the classification is.

It's a problem.

It's a problem.

It's a problem.

He's an investor.

He's not invested in his current relationship because he's more invested.

The way he's talking and writing this out, I'm excited to go to sleep.

It's like, you're not in this current relationship.

You need to respect her and either get out of this so that she can live her life and stop wasting her time.

Yeah.

Or you need to figure out and handle your feelings.

That's awesome.

Comments, yeah, no, I think this might be a lost cause.

I would certainly consider this cheating, and I think that it does indeed warrant a divorce.

You clearly don't really love her, at least not as much as you love your ex.

OP responded, I do love my wife, which is why I married her.

I just also have feelings for my ex, which I should have been honest about before we got married.

I didn't mean for this to happen, but once it did, I wasn't able to stop it.

Living that life with my ex while sleeping felt like getting to experience what I missed out on in young adulthood.

With that said, my wife left overnight for a hotel, and I don't know if she's coming back.

I feel awful for hurting her.

I wasn't able to stop it.

Oh, you weren't?

You weren't?

Yeah.

What kept you?

You practiced, you said you practiced lucid dreaming in order to do this.

You're making choices.

Yeah.

What disabled you, huh?

Yeah.

No, you are actively doing that.

Or if you're not able to stop it, you're making an active choice to not communicate to her or to go to therapy and work on this and figure it out.

Yeah.

Someone else said, I'm asking this genuinely, not trying to be snarky at all.

What did you think your wife's reaction was going to be?

Did you expect what happened or did you think she would be more accepting?

OP said, I knew she would be upset, but I felt I owed her an explanation once she communicated that she felt distant.

I didn't want to gaslight her perception.

I just hadn't known that she even noticed a difference in me.

I just didn't think she would leave.

She's turned off her location.

I have no idea where she is or if she's all right, and her family won't speak to me now.

I do love her and would like for our marriage not to end, but that seems inevitable now as I process this.

The way he's writing is not convincing me he loves his wife.

Like, it's not convincing.

The only thing he did write was tell her.

Yeah.

Like, thank God.

Thank God he told her.

I mean, she was noticing something already, right?

It took her going, something's off.

Of course.

He's just so ready to go to bed.

He's like, okay, time for bed.

He's like, oh, boy.

It's like, it's 8 p.m.

It's like popping melatonin.

Yeah.

So many.

Okay.

Update.

Whoa.

She came out of the dream and they're happily ever after.

Wow.

Birth from my head, like Zeus to Athena.

Okay.

Night wife.

Oh, my God.

Night wife.

Okay.

Update.

Two days ago, I posted about the fallout that occurred after I admitted to my wife that I had been lucid dreaming about my ex and first love over the past year.

After a major blowup where my wife called me every name in the book and got her family involved, which I understood completely, so please don't take this wrong, my wife left.

I didn't know where her whereabouts were for over 24 hours.

Early this morning, about 3 a.m., she came home and told me she wanted to file for divorce.

She didn't want to have to compete with a phantom and deserve better than a shitbag like me.

But she doesn't want to move out or start the process because it's a pandemic and she doesn't want to live on one income.

This was written in 2020.

We make roughly the same amount of money, me, $90,000 a year after taxes, and her, $85,000.

I tried to apologize to her for all the hurt I caused by making her feel like she wasn't enough, to assure her that I do love her even though I still love my ex and explain to her that I've never physically cheated or had any inappropriate conversation with my ex.

but she won't budge.

She doesn't want me anymore.

I can't blame her.

I was selfish and I shouldn't have carried on what I now accept to be a one-sided emotional affair.

So I agreed to stay together for financial purposes for two years, or until the pandemic is over, whichever comes first.

But she kicked me out of our bedroom and basically claimed the second floor for herself.

There's so much tension in the house right now, so I left as soon as the sun came up and went to a coffee shop to do some work.

While there, I received a message on IG from my ex that my ex-wife sent her a long message from her own account telling her about everything that I told her.

I froze because I hadn't spoken to her in a long time, but she saw that I had read the message and followed up an hour later, telling me she needed to know the truth.

So again, I confessed, expecting to be berated and called a loser again, because I had nothing else to lose.

But she didn't think that my dreams about her were weird or creepy.

She thought it was sweet and that I still loved her, especially with her knowing that I'd never tried to have inappropriate conversations or force my way into her life.

I'm aware that her not condemning my actions doesn't make them right or take away from the hurt I caused my wife, but knowing she didn't think negatively of me made me feel better.

We messaged back and forth for a couple of hours talking about our relationship and how it ended and the choices we made.

In that, I learned that she and her fiancé called off their engagement a few months ago.

I also told her my wife was going to divorce me because of the revelation.

She expressed her condolences, and that was the end of the conversation.

I'm home now, and I can't help but wonder if this is the universe's way of putting my ex and I back on the path to reconciliation.

Hate me if you want, but I made a mistake and I hurt my wife and my marriage is over now, or going to be.

But knowing that the person I ruined my marriage over doesn't think I'm the scum of the earth is worth its weight in gold.

I don't know what will happen now, but I can't imagine a friendship with my ex won't blossom from this, at the very least.

I know this won't make my wife happy since she contacted my ex to further shame me, but I may just not tell her.

We are, after all, divorcing.

I hope the next few months and years can result in healing for both my wife and myself, and that we'll both live happy, fulfilled lives.

I fucking hate this guy.

I called it.

Don't lie.

I called it.

I'm like, fuck you, man.

Like,

fuck you.

Yeah.

This 100% confirmed.

It's like, you are waiting for your moment to cheat.

100%.

Like, 100%.

Oh, yeah.

And he does not feel bad.

I'm glad your dream practice sessions worked, my guy.

Like, congratulations.

You got exactly what you wanted.

Dude, give me a break.

Yeah.

It also...

It also just might be his delusion too.

He said the conversation ended.

You're right.

It may not have been as as good as we think.

Yeah, no.

It's like, finally, yes, I can't, something's going to blust from this.

I can just tell the universe is working.

And all she said was like, she was like, oh, that's nice.

My condolences.

And that's it.

Right.

You're so right.

Yeah.

I got her.

This is because I know a lot of dudes out there will take like any sort of polite comments as she loves me.

Yeah.

That's right.

Oh, God, that's infuriating.

I mean, she...

She clocked it and got out.

I think, I mean,

living together for two years, their plan is to live together for two years.

Sounds awful.

That sounds horrible.

Good luck to them.

I never want to live.

And I also think that's about to end because he's going to try to date.

He's going to move to wherever she is or something.

Yes, he will.

This is a crazy thing.

This is going to get worse.

There's no more updates because it probably goes worse for him.

It was from 2021, but there's been no updates since then because it probably did not work out.

No, right, definitely not.

Okay.

That was also a nine out of 10 for me.

That was a nine out of ten.

I'm gonna give that one an eight.

Aww.

Yeah, no, I'm giving it an eight because it was dream and it wasn't real.

But doesn't that make it worse?

Wilder is real.

Yeah.

Oh, three years into marriage, you go, I'm in love with my ex.

Wow, that doesn't make sense.

No,

I don't know.

Our next story.

This comes from two hot takes.

Shout out to Morgan over there.

Love their stuff.

I, a 23-year-old woman, created a one-to-one scale puppet version of my boyfriend.

22-year-old.

Hell, yes.

And showed it to him during foreplay as a joke.

Hell yeah.

What do you mean a joke?

Now he hasn't texted me in 12 hours and I'm starting to get worried.

How do I get him to text me back?

I love that.

Now, see, this is what I was waiting for.

Here's a 10.

Right.

Here.

Here's a 10.

My friends, we've made it.

That

is a 10.

I wonder if it's Marionette or if it's like hand pin or something.

And she's like a one-sale puppet version of my boy.

This is crazy.

So that can't be Marionette.

This is crazy.

Him at the bar with his buddies, and he's sitting there with a beer, and they're just like, what's going on, Greg?

And he's like,

I got cucked by myself.

The real Greg comes in, he's like, wait.

And it goes back over and it's the puppet at the top

with the friends.

What's happening?

All his buddies like the puppet more.

Yeah.

Like, he's a really good time.

Yeah.

He drank us under the floor.

He's puppet.

He's a dope puppet.

He's cool.

Yeah.

Wow.

The title pretty much says it all, but here are some more details.

My boyfriend of six months and I have had a pretty cut and dry relationship up to this point.

I've always been what some people would call as quirky, so pranks are sort of my bread and butter.

He, John, has expressed that he really likes this part of me and I'm just happy to be with someone who can handle all of my zest.

LOL.

Sometimes, I worry that he doesn't actually think I'm as funny as he says, but he always reassures me that this is not the case.

One of the ways we really like to express our humor to each other is in the bedroom.

For example, I love to do impressions of mostly Disney characters, such as the paperwork lady from Monsters Inc.

He sometimes does them too, but he's not as good at voices.

So here's where I think I may have taken it too far.

I recently bought a sewing machine to try and make cosplay costumes and stuff, but something dawned on me as I was messing around with it.

This was the plan.

We often start sexy time with a habitual back rub, massage sort of thing, and we switch off.

And then we progress into French kissing and then full-blown, you know what.

One very important fact to tell you is that John does in fact wear glasses, so I will usually make a point to take them off and put them on the table for safety.

During this particular romp in the hay, I got a really funny idea about how to take his glasses off next time, and I couldn't stop laughing.

He asked me what I was laughing at because he has some insecurity about his appearance, but I assured him that it was nothing like that.

We had our fun and John went home, but all I could think about was this plan.

So the next day, I went to the fabric store and bought a bunch of skin colored felt and wire framing and cotton and got to work creating a Muppet style version of my boyfriend to put his glasses on next time we started getting dirty.

Honestly the thing was looking pretty good and I even found some clothes at Goodwill that were his style.

I dressed the puppet in the clothes, hid them under my collection of squishmallows that's in my room and invited him over.

To spare you all the explicit details, we did start kissing and taking clothes off and stuff, but my hands were shaking as I reached up to grab his glasses.

Instead of putting it on my nightstand, I made a point to say something like, I'm just going to put these right here as I stretched over to the squishmallow that was covering the puppet boyfriend's head and put the glasses right over his felt eyes.

He got confused, I think, and looked back to where I put the glasses and sat up as a felt version of his face, very easily identified by the way.

John has red hair and a mustache, so the glasses on top left little question of who he could be.

He was silent for a second.

second and then said, is that supposed to be me?

As I was laughing, I said something like, do you like it?

As I took it out of the squishmallow pile and revealed the entirely Muppet John.

Oh, did you make that?

He asked, and I stood it up off the bed and asked him to stand next to it.

See, it's just like you, basically, I said, but he still wasn't laughing that much.

I think he saw that the Muppet ended up being just a little bit taller than him.

He's 5'7 ⁇ , and probably insecure about that.

The Muppet ended up accidentally being a little taller than him, around 6'1, based on seeing them side by side.

The Muppet also had a little bit broader shoulders, had a huge cock,

huge cough, a better job,

a better job.

He was a doctor.

I put a voice box in it and it asked me how I'm doing.

I noticed his disappointment and did a tried and true Disney impression to make him feel better.

In my best goofy impression, I said, well, looks like we should call him Big John.

John just took the glasses off of Big John and let him fall to the floor.

and put the glasses on the nightstand and sat on the bed for a while.

We eventually went to Sin City, but it was a lot quieter than usual.

He left after that, even though we were planning on having a sleepover.

He said he wasn't feeling good.

I texted him good night and went to bed.

So here's the ish.

This morning, I haven't gotten any good morning text or any text at all from him, even though he always sends me a good morning text.

I'm worried that Big John was a step too far and that normal John didn't think the joke was as funny as I did.

I feel like he's just putting me in an uncomfortable position by not telling me how this made him really feel, even though I thought it was pretty funny.

Is this salvageable or am I effed?

I think Arasha and I did this skit in Bit City.

That's crazy.

I feel bad for him.

That's a, I don't know.

Do you guys want to see the puppet?

Can I see the puppet?

Let us see the puppet.

Can I let us see the puppet?

I would like to see the puppet.

I would like to see.

Now, this is going to matter because how sexy is this puppet?

Okay, okay.

Okay.

That's his favorite.

Oh.

Oh, no.

Okay, so update.

She made it really ugly.

It's really ugly.

It's a really ugly.

Like, ugly.

Like, bloodshot.

The mustache is like strings, and it's like, yeah, the teeth are buck teeth.

Yeah.

It's terrifying.

I would be humiliated.

If someone was like, that looks just like you.

I'd be like,

I'm going to go drive off a cliff.

Yeah.

Like, whoa.

That was rough.

That's real rough.

But in other news, it's not sexy.

I actually think it's the flip of what we thought.

Yeah, it is.

We thought the puppet was going to be super sexy.

I think, actually, he would have liked it if it was like, oh, this is you.

Yeah, this is how I see you.

It's like you.

This is how I see you.

And it's like, yeah.

It's brutal.

He probably felt really bad about himself.

I can't believe she uploaded a picture of the puppet.

I know.

She's like, he's mad at this thing.

I like how this is a red story we know is real.

Yeah.

Because it's like, oh, yeah.

We have the puppet.

Bring the puppet out.

The comments, someone said, girl, what the fuck is this?

Yeah.

Exactly.

Someone else said, I read the title thinking, oh, that's a cute toy, thinking teddy bear size, then reread the scale.

I mean, it's not a deal breaker, but it can come off creepy as fuck.

Someone else said, the fact he still decided to have sex with you after this is what I keep getting hung up on.

I'm sorry.

Yeah,

I think six months into dating maybe is too short of a time.

I did react to that earlier in the film.

I was like, this is six.

Six months.

Six months.

This is new.

I think that's, that's like, that's, you're married.

And you pull that out.

Yeah, you're married.

Or maybe just a couple of years.

Get a couple of years.

Yeah, get like five years in.

Get like 10 years in.

Maybe.

Update.

Puppet can't alive.

Puppets alive.

Whoa.

And it killed a man.

Oh, shit.

Not sure why mods deleted my last post, but so many people were asking for updates that I'll leave the original in the comments.

It's really funny to read back, but here's what happened in the last week.

So it's been a wild couple of days or so, and I've honestly been a little depressed at the negative reaction from everyone.

After my boyfriend, John, left after he did the no pants dance in front of the puppet, Big John, he didn't text me for like a day and a half.

I was really starting to get worried and believe some of the comments that I was a serial killer.

Can I vent really quick about something?

I kind of hate how Redditors can't say had sex.

They refuse to say, so we had sex.

They always say like, we did the no pants dance or we did the deed or we went to Sin City.

It's doggo.

We did the dirty.

I'm like, just say you had sex.

Well, maybe it was not specifically sex.

Okay.

They did like pattywhack with each other's genitals or something?

Yeah, maybe.

Maybe that's nice.

All right, fair.

I just feel like.

Not everyone likes sex.

There's a lot of sex.

I know, I know, but like, but it's so common in Reddit posts to just be like, but even then, just be like, so then we went down on each other.

Like,

I think it's less cringy cringy than being like so we went to Sin City yeah

yeah it's just a funny trend I've noticed with runners where they cannot say that I'm like you're anonymous we don't right you post so true I'm like just say it you included a picture of this

puppet dude and you can't say we had sex yeah that's fair I was so sad that I didn't even want to look at the sewing machine to make my custom Disney ears with because it just reminded me of Big John.

Speaking of Big John, I hung him up in the closet so I didn't have to look at him.

Wait, it it just reminded her of Big John, not her boyfriend?

Just Big John.

That is crazy.

I was so ashamed, I was drawing when my phone buzzed and I saw it was finally John.

All it said was, hey, can we talk?

I was super nervous and he came over to my place.

It was awkward at first because it had been so long since we saw or talked to each other and I honestly thought things were going to end, especially after reading all the comments.

However, he apologized for his behavior and told me something that cleared things up.

So apparently his mom has been cheating on his dad with multiple younger men for years, and he and his dad just found this out the other day, the day I made Big John.

He wasn't upset about Big John at all.

I could tell he was still upset and my instincts were saying I should do a Disney voice.

But I considered the comments from the last post and decided just to say, I'm sorry that happened to you.

I hope your family is okay.

Then the most surprising part, he said, I'm sorry too.

And then in his adorably not very good singing voice saying, Big John never bothered me anyway.

I have something for him actually.

I don't know how he's saying that.

And brought out one of his favorite slap bracelets that his mom got him as a kid.

He pulled me into a hug and we danced like we were Cinderella and Prince Charming boyfriend.

He tried to dip me, but he's not very strong, so it created a funny moment where we kissed and then he led me to my royal suite.

And well, you can probably guess the rest.

I

so I am about to cry, which is funny.

I have tears in my eyes.

That's really funny that I'm about to cry now.

We got on the bed and Normal John had some smears on his glasses after kissing.

He asked if there was anywhere or anyone that he could put these on.

I brought out Big John and his hand fell off, but it was like a fairy tale romance when Normal John placed the glasses on Big John's cute nose.

So for now, it seems like a happy ending.

I'm sorry I didn't post any pics with the original post, but after seeing John's reaction, I was so embarrassed and some of the comments were so mean that I wanted to just destroy Big John and never think of him again.

But there were some very kind people who sent me private messages that made me feel a lot better and proud of my quirkiness, which could very well be autism, as some commenters have stated, getting the test in a couple weeks.

Also, stop thinking I would use Big John for the devil's tango.

He is strictly

caught me off guard.

He is strictly an awesome way for normal John to have somewhere to put his glasses.

So after all this time, I've gained the courage to share Big John with you, like all of you have asked.

I was happy with how it turned out and even happier than my beloved loved him as well.

Okay.

There,

this is making me realize there is someone for everyone.

You are not alone.

Yep.

No, they sound like an adorable couple.

Yeah.

And honestly, if they got past this, they're perfect for each other.

They're good.

That is so beautiful.

Yeah.

I was about to cry and then I remembered what the puppet looked like.

All right, yeah, that's true.

Exactly.

Yeah.

That is so gorgeous.

That is a very sweet puppy.

He started singing a frozen reference.

Come on.

They are extremely vulnerable with each other in a way that is simply adorable.

Beautiful.

That is a hilarious story.

That's a three out of ten.

Why?

I like that she addressed it.

Yeah.

It wasn't a sex thing.

Yeah.

Sorry, a devil's tango thing.

The devil's tango thing.

The devil's tango.

God.

We need to make like a, we need to have a running list of all the ways Redditors have referred to sex.

Yeah.

Or just anything revolving sex.

Like,

just, it's so funny to me.

Okay, that was a great one.

Yeah, that was a great one.

That was a great one.

That was sweet.

That turned very sweet.

Very happy.

Okay, here's our last story.

This comes from relationship advice.

This is a recent post.

As of reading, this is not that old, which is always great.

Okay.

Okay, there's a 42-year-old woman writing this.

My husband, who's 42, has informed me he intends to go on a gay cation with his brother-in-law, a 35-year-old man, in Ibiza.

How do I handle this?

Okay, well.

Well, first of all, pronounce it properly.

Ibifa.

Ibifa.

Okay.

Okay.

Hi there.

I really wish I didn't have to make this post, but here goes.

So me and my husband have been happily married for about 16 years, give or take.

We both have stable careers, good family life, and are fairly fortunate despite the cost of living racking the UK right now.

We have two boys, 15 and 10, and up until this Sunday, thought we had it pretty good.

We argue sometimes, of course, but it never gets too bad and we have a pretty decent sex life with some exploration, but I won't get into that.

Long and short is, on Sunday, just after I dropped our boys off at their friends, my husband asked me if we had the house alone and more importantly, do I have a minute?

I said yes, and he sat me down, then got out this printed poster for some sort of orgy and started explaining to me the concept of a gay cation.

How it's where straight men go to somewhere with sun, sand, and booze and become gay for the duration of the trip, but that's fine because it doesn't actually count.

Because what happens on the gaycation stays on the gaycation.

I was just completely silent and mortified, even more so when he said he was looking into booking a trip to Ibiza next year with his brother-in-law, his sister's husband, to experience it for himself.

When he finally let me speak, I just said, I need him to be clear with me.

Is he gay?

Because if yes, that's okay, but we need to figure out what happens going forward.

I didn't let myself get angry or upset.

I was just stunned.

He swore up and down, he's not gay, and he's 100% attracted to women, and of course, still loves me and our boys.

So I said, Well, do you think you're bi, maybe?

And he got very defensive, saying how I need to drop the accusations, and that this is the beauty of the gay cation.

It allows straight men to experience gayness without actually being gay, and how it's like going to an aquarium.

And again, he was adamant.

He doesn't find men's bodies or genitalia exciting at all, but he needs to experience this, apparently.

I said, well, I'm really not comfortable because even if he was by, this would be explicitly cheating on me.

And he got very angry and reiterated he's not because that's the beauty of the gay case.

What is that?

I just had enough and left the room.

Well, honey, that's the beauty of the gay case.

That's the beauty of it.

Anything goes.

Anything counts there.

It's kind of like a lucid dream.

I ignored him for the rest of the day, but we spoke at tea where I again asked him, why does he want to do this so badly if he's not gay?

Yes!

He said how he's interested in how gay men's lives differ to straight men's and that unfortunately, once the gaycation begins, it's simply impossible for a man to resist and he must surrender himself mind, body, and soul to the gaycation or be destroyed.

What?

What is

what?

I really can't put into words how surreal it was because he was speaking so matter of factly and he again insists this is a thing that straight men do all the time and how he's actually doing it a bit late.

I just said to him if he has any love for me, then he can't go ahead with this and if he does, the marriage will be dead.

We didn't speak anymore after that.

Since then he's mentioned no more of it but somehow, and this is what scares me a lot too, that decision genuinely seems to be tearing him up.

He didn't go into work on Monday and only went in a half day yesterday because he told me he just felt too ill and he just looks distraught every time I see him.

I really don't think he's wholly gay though.

I can absolutely believe he's bi, but I'd rather we talked about that in a healthy way rather than this incredibly weird denialism around going on a sex holiday to a biza.

Has anyone known straight guys to do this and come back and just go back to being straight?

Like surely that can't be a thing that happens.

I'm so out of my depth here and I just don't know how to even initiate the conversation.

For the record, I also haven't mentioned it to his sister yet.

I don't know how I'd even break it to her.

Thanks for any help.

I just don't even want to think so.

Being able to get this out there there has helped even just a little bit.

Edit.

While this blew up, this has been incredibly sobering and I think I've now confirmed that I already knew to be the case.

The marriage is dead, one way or another.

In a way, I was in denial about that.

I have contacted my sister-in-law and she initially screamed at me, calling me a liar and even insinuated I was trying to steal her husband.

She rang me back shortly after, apologized, and admitted she was in deep, deep shock.

I have asked my parents to look after the boys and we're going to meet tomorrow to discuss this deeper.

I have also texted my husband and told him we will will need to make alternative accommodation arrangements, but he will not be sleeping here tonight and a bag will be waiting for him.

P.S.

I see a lot of people asking about the aquarium and at risk of doxing myself.

There is a pretty famous aquarium in the UK called The Deep.

At the very end you walk through a tunnel that goes underneath the main fish tank so it's quite immersive I suppose.

My husband explained the aquarium thing in that it's a bit like that.

You go there and you observe the fishes, you even get a bit up close, but you never actually enter the water, get emotionally invested or become a fish, gay.

So it doesn't really count.

It was very bizarre analogy, and I pointed out it still makes no sense.

And he just got more in a huff and how I just don't get it.

And frankly, I still don't.

Okay, but you're in the water.

You're not observing the fishes.

You're on the vacation.

You're all the way in the water.

Yeah, like you're a fish.

You're a fish.

Yeah, he might not be a fish.

He might not be a fish.

But he's swimming with the fury.

But he's swimming with the firmies.

yes.

He might not be a fish, but he's definitely paddling in the water.

But I will say, I have been out.

I've lived in West Hollywood for a long time.

For those who don't know West Hollywood, it's a super gay place.

It is gay everywhere.

It's gay, and yeah, it's gay everywhere.

And going out there, there's a whole strip of like 17 bars that are all gay bars.

Yep.

And living there for six, or I've lived there for three years and specifically in West Hollywood.

But living there, there have been so many people who have their straight friends come visit or come move here and they will be in our friend group and they will come out with us and they will go out and be a part of our group but they are straight and they'll get hit on and it'll happen or and sometimes sometimes they might even go home with a person they'll experiment it's it's very normal it's a normal thing you can go you can experiment and then they're like yeah that actually wasn't my thing I am straight.

And then everyone's like, uh-oh, there's a stigma of people who are like, no, you're not.

You're not straight anymore because you did that thing.

Well, I did that thing.

I didn't like it.

And now I know what I like.

Right.

There's nothing wrong with figuring that out.

So I just wanted to say that before we get into this.

Totally.

Totally.

Because she's like, well, he's gay.

And everyone listening is probably like, well, he's gay.

That's a good thing.

He must have been gay.

No,

he's probably bi and never experimented at all.

He could be bi.

He could be straight and wants to experiment still.

He's like, oh, that's something that I want to try.

And then he might like it.

He might not.

The issue

I don't think the issue here is his sexuality.

No, it's not.

The issue is he's married and he wants to go to a place.

He's literally like, yeah.

I'm going to go have an orgy.

Like, it's like, is he going to have an orgy?

But that's what he showed her.

That's what it says.

That's the beauty of the vacation.

She described it as an orgy poster, but it might just be a bunch of half-naked people.

But like, the problem is, like, he's still describing, like, what he's describing is inferring that he's going to go

be in a situation where it's even.

It's a mind, body, and soul.

Yeah, it's also like, even if it's a situation where it's like oh i'm gonna go i'm not gonna have sex but i'm gonna go watch some other people that are there have sex it's like right that's still cheating like you're still what you're telling me is right what she's upset about yeah is that it's like hey right what like this is a whole lot of layers she doesn't even seem to be upset about yeah she's i think she's trying to make sense of it i don't know it's it is you're right there's some vagueness to what is being described here.

He's explaining it like an aquarium.

Yeah.

So that's the best thing.

Which is awesome to be a fish.

right?

It's like, I'm going to go watch the little things do their little thing.

It's like, okay, well, buy a ticket and give me the money then.

Whoa.

Yeah, the fish make the proceeds from that.

As you know, as we all know, all the fish in an aquarium are rich.

I think the, I think, I, I understand, though, her inferring.

And it's what I'm inferring.

I would think

are you gay?

Are you gay?

That's my assumption.

Well, no, I'm saying my assumption that

this is going to involve sex.

Sex.

It's going to involve something,

you know, like kissing.

Yeah.

Like anything sort of.

And he said mind, body, and body.

He added body to that.

He did add body to that, but it's like, I'm picturing gay as in like happiness, going, dancing.

I have a whole different experience.

But he's just going to be gay in that time period.

Yeah.

I guess what I'm saying.

You can be gay without having sex.

I know.

I know.

Look at us right now.

I'm not fucking anyone right now.

I know.

Right now.

I'm not fucking anyone.

I guess.

But I'm still gay.

It's just

But like, you can go being gay is a spirit.

It's like a...

It is.

It's an energy.

Like, it's not just like...

And that's the beauty of the gaycation.

That's the beauty of the gaycation.

Just like, just like on the beach

drinking a pita club, just like, I'm gay right now.

Exactly.

Out of a little straw with an umbrella.

Yes.

You can be gay after sex.

You can just go be like, just go be gay for night.

Go dance.

Go to your local girl and be gay for friends.

You can be straight and do those things too, right?

Can you?

I don't know.

You know what?

I certainly can.

I haven't been to a straight Caitian.

I haven't been to a state of the game.

Guys, let's go in a straight Caitian.

Most Cations are straight Caitians.

Why can't she go with him?

That's what I was thinking.

That's what I was thinking.

Let's describe her as like a little twing.

And then if he's...

Nope.

She can just go to.

Nope.

No.

But if she goes with him, and if he's being honest about being straight, then he has someone to like hook up with.

Like he gets to go do the thing and you get someone that you love that you're married to to go have sex with.

Well, that's,

she should go with him.

I'm into that.

I'm like, she should go be gay too.

This is the resolution.

Yeah.

This is our answer to this question.

But wouldn't that be so much more fun if you're straight to go on a gaycation with your wife?

Yeah.

I mean,

the main take is like, this isn't going to work out.

Obviously, he needs to go do this and that doesn't work with her so this obviously this just this isn't gonna work out this way he should still go on the gaycation because that's his journey she should they should break up and she should find someone who doesn't want to go do that yeah yeah I just wanted to

I'm just so mad I'm not mad but I'm just like it was I just want more communication

we need far more clarification yes yeah I need to know what is happening because I have never heard of this in my life and it also sounds like someone has sold him on this gaycation yeah the brother-in-law?

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking too.

In Ibiza.

Okay, comments.

Your husband isn't proposing a gaycation.

He's proposing cheating on you with men while using magical thinking to pretend it doesn't count.

The fact that he's planning this with his sister's husband makes it even more disturbing.

His bizarre explanation about surrendering mind, body, and soul isn't straight man curiosity.

It's someone desperately trying to justify exploring his sexuality while keeping his heterosexual marriage.

His depression about not being able to go isn't about missing a vacation.

It's about being forced to confront his sexuality without his convenient what happens in a biza stays in a biza excuse.

His meltdown over not going shows how desperately he wants to avoid facing this reality.

OP responded, I read over this multiple times and I guess the worst part is I know you're completely right.

Lastly, someone said, I'm a straight European man and this sounds completely absurd.

If it's so normal, why then is the only thing that shows up on Google a docuseries from 2016?

Yeah, I've never heard of it.

I've never heard of this before.

Anyways, update.

Okay, let's fucking run.

Yes.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, for this.

I am really hoping, I'm really hoping that he is straight and just wanted to go have fun.

That's my hope.

Okay.

Okay.

So when I last posted, I'd contacted my husband to tell him he wouldn't be staying at home at tonight and a bag would be waiting for him.

As you can imagine, we argued quite badly.

I won't go into the specific details, but no, I'm 100% on board with the fact at a minimum he's bi, might even be gay altogether.

We've had arguments in the past, but I've genuinely never seen him have such a childish tantrum before, screaming about how I just don't understand the gaycation.

Absolutely despise that phrase now.

And insinuating I'm actually homophobic because I refuse to allow him to participate in this cultural exchange with the gay community.

A lot of you said to ask him if it'd be acceptable if the roles were reversed, and I did ask him, would it be acceptable if I went and slept with other guys during that week?

Like fucking clockwork, he was very angry and offended, saying it's completely different because a gaycation means nothing, and what happens on the gaycation stays on the gay cation.

So he did want to sleep with people.

Yeah.

So doesn't actually count.

Whereas I'd just be straight up cheating.

Well, I turned it around on him.

No, but you see what happens in Manchester stays in Manchester.

It doesn't mean anything.

It doesn't count.

It's like bird watching.

And I think it got through to him.

He went all quiet and then started crying, admitting the thought of me sleeping with another man is destroying his heart, but relationships need sacrifices so agreed while in tears that when he goes on the gaycation i'll get one week in manchester to do whatever i want he doesn't want me to but that's fair in a twisted way he supposed i told him to get out of my house thankfully he left without a fight i know it's incredibly petty but i also drained the joint bank account legal in the uk so he couldn't try to use it against me about an hour later i got rang up by his mom my mother-in-law who just screamed and screamed at me about being a cheating whore what about the kids it said what?

He must have

said some stuff.

When I finally got my composure back, I just said, ask your son about the gaycation.

Obviously, at first, she got angry, but I said, no, just ask him about the gaycation.

He'll explain, but she called me a fucking joke and hung up.

Later on, getting into the evening, I got another phone call from her in floods of tears.

She was very apologetic, and I told her she doesn't need to be the one to apologize.

She was so upset, she put father-in-law on the phone, who, while he sounded calm, I could just sort of tell he was on the warpath.

again very apologetic and said he overheard that phrase asked my husband and husband initially said no it's nothing before explaining how it's a modern thing men do and gave them the same spiel about how what happens on the gaycation men cannot resist the gaycation how a man must surrender to the gaycation etc father-in-law just said they told him to leave or they'd call the police don't care where he goes but he wasn't staying there My husband tried to call me while I was on the phone, but I just ignored it and father-in-law just said he was so sorry for me and they have my corner in this, so that's one thing.

Told them to be there for their daughter because it sounds like brother-in-law is involved.

Husband didn't tell them that.

And father-in-law just said he had to go because he was so, so, so angry.

Got a text from my husband after the phone call, which was all weirdly rambly, saying how I'd abused the gay cation to destroy his marriage and destroy his life.

And again, insinuated I, and his parents, was homophobic for doing such a thing.

Told him we'll talk when he grows up and blocked his number.

I took a day off work myself to have the locks changed this morning so that 500 pounds gone, whatever.

At least I know he won't be coming back.

I'm going to look into how to proceed with a divorce and then we'll move from there.

So I haven't yet met with sister-in-law.

She was in such a state and has taken this far, far worse than I have for reasons that'll be clear soon.

We're going to maybe try tomorrow, but we did talk over the phone and I eavesdropped on the conversation with her husband where she put her phone on speaker and I went on mute.

Her husband got home earlier.

She made him come home, told him there was an emergency, and just said to him, can you please explain what a gay cation is?

She told me afterwards she was praying he'd look confused or just be like, what?

Or anything like that.

But instead, he just sat her down and explained that a gay cation is a new thing where straight men go to gay hotspots and participate in gay sex acts, but it doesn't count because there's no investment and because what happens on the gay cation stays on the gay cation.

If I hear that phrase one more time.

Now I hate this.

He said it's like writing down angry thoughts and putting them in a drawer.

You never have to see them again.

Oh God.

God.

The whole time, sister-in-law is in tears as he just calmly bats off the same points my husband did about how it doesn't count, and he even did the whole it's impossible to resist, you must surrender or be destroyed.

Shit, I seriously think they must be speaking to a dominatrix or something because surely neither of them are that into this to actually make that up on their own.

I really don't want to go into what was discussed for her sake, but it did become very apparent to me that the brother-in-law is into sissy hypnoporn and at times conflated that with the the concept of a gaycation.

There was this utterly surreal moment where sister-in-law is just trying to wrap her head around this while also in floods of tears.

And he explains so genuinely, so matter-of-factly, that for most men, the gaycation is either a one-time or annual thing, but some men go on the gaycation for years, and others simply never return because they use hypnosis and mind control to be totally feminized into a state of permanent pseudo-gayness.

She said in disbelief, surely if you're taking it up the hours willingly because you want to, that makes you gay.

And he said no, because that's the beauty of the gay cation.

You can do all this gay stuff, but you don't interact with the wider gay life experience.

She asked him if the sissy stuff is what he wanted and he said not on a long-term basis and was adamant this is something all straight men do, but she wouldn't get it because she's a woman.

Then there were more insinuations of homophobia.

Well, that marriage is dead too, I suppose.

The whole ordeal ended when she said to him he has a choice to make, and he said, no, he doesn't need to make this choice because the beauty of the gay cation is that it allows him to keep his marriage

because it doesn't count.

She said that's not the choice.

The choice is whether he's leaving the house that night or she is.

The only good thing is he did leave.

Me and sister-in-law spoke about it after that, and I'm just still utterly stunned.

I understand she's gone to her parents for support.

What exactly did we do to have our lives destroyed in such an abrupt, bizarre, embarrassing way?

Per some advice, I'm I'm going to look at devices and bank statements to see if I can find any definitive proof of cheating.

After that, I suppose I'll figure out how I tell the boys why their father won't be coming home.

Edit, spoke to my other sister-in-law, my husband's family is older sister, him, younger sister/slash original sister-in-law, and gave her a skimmed-down version of it.

She asked her husband, and thankfully he was deeply confused, but then mentioned about two years ago at a birthday party, he was approached by my husband and brother-in-law about signing up to some online boot camp around BDSM cross-dressing.

He assumed they were taking the piss out of him, so told them to fuck off and never really thought of it again.

The fact that this has been going on for that long is making me want to throw up.

P.S.

For the poster who said about divorce options, I'm actually going to look into adultery because plain and simple, that's what this is.

Wow, I am so disappointed in this dude.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I feel...

Sad.

It's sad.

Yeah.

I think this is sad.

I think this is sad because it shows the lengths people go to like

they can't confront things.

Yeah.

There's so much like around it that they can't just like face the

it's the world we live in.

It is.

I was about to say that.

It's shamed so much.

You're not allowed to like, I think what you said was important earlier of like people's ability to experiment because clearly he never could in his life.

He's now been married for 16 years.

He's got something inside that he's struggling with.

And he's it's when you when you have a desire when there's something in you and you are literally pushing it down and that I'm talking a realm of anything.

Yeah, it that leads to destructive behaviors.

Yeah, because you're trying to kind of like find some other path

and he's found his way here to convince himself this is how he can do it.

It's it's I feel,

I want to feel really badly for the guy.

And I feel bad for something that is going on inside.

But unfortunately, where we have ended up now

is that's the and he had an out.

He well, he's been doing it for a long time, but she asked him, she was like, I'm I still love you.

I need we, but we need to figure this out right now.

Like what you're talking about, like, I'm your wife of 16 years.

Yeah.

Now, this is the time to figure it out and talk with me, communicate.

Right.

Yeah.

And he didn't do that, which it is a lot of pressure and it's a lot on

the only way to do it without without blowing up.

Yeah, yeah, because this is like,

it's just tough.

Like it's disrespectful.

It's disrespectful on so many levels.

I'm a little curious.

I'm curious what your thoughts are, because

this is the thing.

She's got put through a whirlwind, right?

So any decisions she's making, it's like, I understand you, this is all happening so fast.

Her going to his parents and telling them, ask about the gaycation,

do you think that's in a way like,

did she need to do that?

Like, because it is, is it in a way kind of outing him to his parents?

Yeah.

And like their reaction, the dad's reaction has me like, okay, like, what's, what, what do his parents think about the possibility of him being?

Yeah, that sucks.

Like, because there's a reason he is pushing us down so hard.

At the same time, I'm like, you like I said, what she's going through.

I'm like, oh, it's arguing.

And he, you're, you're worried about what the ramifications of separating are going to be.

But it's just like, so I'm not mad at her.

I'm not saying she's an asshole, but it's just like.

Right.

There's definitely homophobia in the story.

Sure.

Like, there's that some of the reactions.

I mean, yeah, it's like, you know,

you're cheating.

But to be like, I'm sorry.

It's like, okay, you're adding on a layer of also.

Oh my God, my adult son is gay.

I'm going to go blow up.

You know?

Yeah.

Or gay-ish or whatever.

Yeah,

it's just really,

it's sad on so many levels because it's also sad that he didn't feel comfortable at any point.

And this is his own thing.

This is his own battle.

To talk to his wife and be like, you know what, I wonder if I have feelings.

I wonder if I feel like you should feel comfortable talking about that.

Maybe they could have

done the gaycation at home with one person and had a mutual experience.

Or just like maybe just talking about it would be enough.

Obviously, yeah.

Like, oh my God, that would have been freeing for him to be like, oh, and that's okay.

This guy is struggling, it seems like, with not being okay with something.

That's all he needs.

That's all he needs.

He's trying to find a way of being like, and this doesn't count.

And he kept reiterating it.

Yep.

That's all he needs.

Just come out.

Just come out.

It's like, it's a hard, it's

so hard to do.

Do it.

Just start talking about it.

Well, that's the block.

That's the block.

I know.

That's the whole thing.

And I think it's very clear to me, like, from the subtleties of of like, oh, and nobody in his life is okay with it.

We are not, I mean, she did say, like, I'd be okay with this, but who knows where up into his life, how everybody's talked about it.

That's true.

So

it is a tragedy.

It's sad.

It's very sad.

But

at the end of the day, too, like, they're going to divorce.

He will be single.

And here's this opportunity.

Now we will see.

Anyways, wildness scale.

10 out of 10.

I think it could be the 10.

That could be the 10.

And that's the beauty of the gay.

And that's the beauty of the vacation.

What happens in the gaycation stays in the vacation.

It's also like, ugh, I hate this guy going to Greece and then

taking advantage of all these gay people too.

It's like, I'm straight, and I'm just going to do it here.

And then it won't count.

No strings attached.

What?

Fuck off.

These have been wild.

Those are wild.

These were really wild.

I will be thinking about these ones for a while.

Yeah.

Wow.

Thank you both for being here.

Okay, thanks.

Thanks for listening.

This is a lot of fun.

What's this?

Oh, it's just Jerry Spruce.

This was really fun.

Man.

Okay,

let us know your thoughts on these.

Yeah, we need to hear.

I'll be processing these for a while.

And let us know what other themes and subreddits you want us to cover on the show

because the stories just keep coming.

That's right, baby.

Anyways.

Oh, what?

Nothing.

All right, we'll see you next Saturday.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

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At Bright Horizons, infants discover first steps, toddlers discover independence, and preschoolers discover bold ideas.

Our dedicated teachers and discovery-driven curriculum nurture curiosity, inspire creativity, and build lasting confidence so your child is ready to take on the world.

Come visit one of our Bright Horizons centers in the Bay Area and see for yourself how we turn wonder into wisdom.

Schedule your visit today at brighthorizons.com.