Office Horror Stories | Reading Reddit Stories

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Good morning.

Welcome to Reddit Stories.

I'm Shane.

And today we have a bunch of office stories.

And I'm very excited.

I was just saying this before we started rolling.

It is not even 9 a.m.

yet.

Very office-like of us to be starting at this time.

Right at the beginning of the day, I'm joined by my two coworkers, Angela and Spencer.

What's up?

What's up?

We're here in an office, sort of, I guess it's a studio.

Clocked in.

Yeah, we're clocked in, man.

No, I just want people to know like how early in the morning sometimes it is when we're reading these.

Yeah.

But then also sometimes so late at night.

Yeah, sometimes you ever know if it's 7 p.m.

Yeah, or 8 in the morning when we're reading these.

Yeah.

Someone's out there working construction.

They're like, that's crazy, dude.

That's crazy, dude.

Yeah, man, that sounds insane.

Yeah, well, that's crazy.

You had to read a Reddit story.

Yeah, that was finally hard.

Offices, workspaces, coworkers.

That's That's what we're dealing with here today.

This is fun.

You two are like some of my favorite coworkers.

Yeah.

Wow.

Ted to rank coworkers.

Yeah, you'd be the top three right here.

Yeah.

Everybody knows that.

Cool.

That's settled.

Now that we got that out of the way.

Now that we're done with that.

In front of a bunch of other co-workers of ours.

Okay, it's gookie energy today.

All right, our first story.

Am I the asshole for telling my coworker I can't attend her funeral because I'm busy that day?

What?

So here's the situation.

He can commune with the dead.

Yeah, my dead coworker.

So here's the situation.

I have this coworker.

Let's call her Karen.

Karen is a character.

She's always talking about these elaborate plans for every possible scenario.

Last week, she told us she had pre-planned her entire funeral, complete with a guest list, catering, and even a DJ.

Apparently, she wants her final send-off to be a lit celebration of life.

Anyway, out of the blue yesterday, Karen walks up to me during lunch and says, hey, just so you know, I've penciled you in for my funeral next Saturday at 2 p.m.

It's going to be fabulous and I'd really appreciate your attendance.

So here's the thing.

I'm alive and kicking, so the idea of attending a funeral for someone who's very much alive just felt weird.

Plus, I already have plans next Saturday to binge watch an entire season of Stranger Things and eat my weight and pizza.

So without really thinking, I just blurted out, sorry, Karen, I can't make it.

I'm busy that day.

She looked at me like I just slapped her with a cold fish.

Busy?

She asked, her voice dripping with disbelief.

You can't be too busy for a friend's funeral.

Now, Karen has been giving me the cold shoulder ever since, and our other coworkers are split.

Some think I'm a heartless jerk for not going along with her bizarre funeral dress rehearsal, while others think she's completely off her rocker for expecting people to actually attend this thing.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for telling my very much alive coworker I can't attend her self-planned, preemptive funeral because I'm busy watching Netflix?

Edit, for those asking about her well-being, she is fine.

I overheard somebody asking her and she replied that it's just a celebration of life.

So yes, it seems to be a narcissistic event.

Wait, so I think they might have left out a part where they are actually throwing like a

practice for it.

Yeah, so it's like a rehearsal for the funeral?

They're specifically saying that they are busy watching Stranger Things and eating their weight in pizza, which is so epic, I have to add.

Yeah, and I loved that.

Very so epic.

Very cool.

I felt at peace just hearing that.

But like,

I'm confused.

Because she's throwing a party.

She's throwing a gigantic party.

It's her preemptive funeral.

So she's throwing her funeral now,

long, hopefully before she dies.

And she wants it to, her final send-off to be a lit celebration of life.

Now, yeah, he later calls it a dress rehearsal, but

I think that's his own terminology.

It is essentially just a big party she's throwing for herself, and it's kind of the labeling of it's a preemptive funeral.

Um,

I mean,

I don't know, my thought is like, cool, you can do whatever type of parties.

You can't tell someone they have to be there.

Like, and I also, I don't know, I'm of the mindset, like, if I did this, if I was in her position, and then someone was like, I can't make it, you just have to be like, oh, okay.

Yeah, this feels like because of the way she's like dressing the event is making it a bigger deal, but it's not.

It's not the same as like a real funeral, like in the sense of when people are like, well, you should attend your friend's funeral.

It's like, yeah,

if they died, but this isn't that.

This is a different thing.

I've never heard of this before.

They're also not even

like friends, it sounds like.

It sounds like they're just coworkers.

Yeah, with coworkers, especially, you're not like obligated to

go to their personal events.

It's always like a nice gesture to be like, hey, hey,

throw in a barbecue.

Come.

And that's the best part about co-workers is you don't really have to go.

Yeah.

Crazy thing to say.

Yeah.

But like with your friends, you're like, oh, you gotta go.

You know what I mean?

I mean, here's the thing.

Here's the thing I figured out.

You don't have to go with friends either.

Yeah, I don't know.

That's the most Spencer Agno thing you've ever done.

I've never lose some along the way.

It was a mind-blowing thing for me because I always was the type that had to cope with like elaborate excuses for why I couldn't hang out with people.

And I'm, I'm very introverted.

I need like time to myself.

And so, but I would never say that.

You know, if I was in this guy's position where I'm like, oh, I want to just stay home and watch TV, I'd have been like, I can't, like, I got to do this thing that day.

But then

it was a good friend of mine, Matthew Scott from SoRandom.

He,

there was, we were hanging out in our dressing rooms one day and I'm like, you know, I'm like 19, so I'm still a very insecure person.

And we were talking about making plans and like a bunch of us were going to go hang out that night.

And I was like, yeah, do you want to come?

And he goes, no,

I'm going to stay home and watch TV.

And I remember just being like, that's awesome.

Like that's, that's, yeah.

Like, honestly, thank you for just being completely honest.

I'm not offended at all because I get it.

And I, I, ever, it kind of like changed something in me where I was just like, oh, you, you're allowed to not.

Just because I don't want to go out that night doesn't mean I don't like you.

Yeah.

Doesn't mean it, you know, it just means like that's what I'm desiring to do that day.

Yeah.

Or just being like, I think it was working here where it was like realizing that people, like, we'd finish a shoot or something and it was like, hey, we're going to grab beers or whatever.

And someone just being like, hey, I have no more social energy in my tank.

And being like, that is so relatable and understandable.

And you can't force that.

And that's okay.

Totally.

It's especially strange because, yeah, we're talking about coworkers here.

They don't sound like they are friends

based on this description.

So, to expect that

is strange.

I don't know, this is just all odd to me.

This is such coworker behavior.

This feels like, you know, I don't think we, this is just like the coworker I have nightmares about.

Where it's like, you know, you're kind of forced to do their bits with them or whatever like that.

Where it's just like,

no, I mean, like, do you, you know, like, people like that where they come over, they're like, ah, blah, blah, blah, and you're like, it did, yeah, man.

I'm like I'm at I'm at work.

You know and I think people here have good boundaries with that where it's like you know if we see someone sitting sitting off kind of in the corner it's not like it's not like hey let's let's bring them into the bit or let's like no they're like there for a reason.

Yeah, it's like they're doing their own thing.

Yeah.

Also I feel like people who

like this is a really weird take but I feel like

like

I've seen it in reality TV too, where people love funeral as a theme and they find it very

fun and like a big deal.

Like there's been like funeral divorce parties.

It feels like she's making it a big deal because she's labeling it her funeral and she's calling it and you can't like say no, but it's just a party.

I think

like the to the funeral theming stuff, I wonder if it's almost like a,

you know, when people try and like talk things out.

out out loud to almost like not normalize it, but make it feel a little less scary.

Yeah, like what where it's like it feels it's like you know reclaiming no 100 i totally get it and it's a little punk rocky to be like my marriage is over let's eulogize it or whatever

it's cool but i think like she's doing see i don't even think it's cool to eulogize something i think it's i think it's lame as hell i think it's corny the funeral divorce party it's a little corny but it's it's kind of a theatrical fun theme because you get to like be super like there's like a it's like a fun theme i guess like you're allowed to theme parties kind of yeah in any sort of way you want.

The issue to me is really not the thing she's doing.

She's allowed to do this.

It's mistakes.

It's that she's pressuring him.

You're pressuring a coworker.

So it's not even like, hey, you've been my best friend since high school.

Like, it's not like that.

It's, hey, I work with you.

We are forced to be in the same building every day in order to pay our rent.

Now you have to come to this person.

But she's using that theme to do that.

She's going, here's my funeral.

It's strategic.

Because it's like, in five years, are you you going to throw another?

Yeah, exactly.

And then make people be like, you need to come to my funeral again.

Because it's, what if I died a second time?

Yeah.

Like, you know, I don't know.

It's also kind of like dangling your worth in front of someone, being like, if I was gone.

Would you care?

I think

that, but.

I think we should be allowed to

see what would happen after we died.

That's my hot take.

Okay, Tom Sawyer.

Yeah.

No, that's a, yeah, that was a good fantasy, like little fantasy moment.

Mm-hmm.

For me as a kid.

That was a good little fantasy moment, Spencer.

But yeah, no, I think you're right.

We should be able to see it.

And I feel like she wants to see how people will show up for her.

Apparently not.

Even in small spaces.

I think our producers put down a note that I agree with, too, that

it's, you know, she's throwing this, she's theming it.

To be pressuring people, I think is, I think the pressuring adds the insensitivity of like, you don't know what someone else is going through.

So to be like, yeah, come to my funeral themed party, it's like, it's like, oh, my, it's like my parents just exploded.

Yeah, it's like, you don't know what somebody, especially a coworker, you're probably not talking to them.

So it's like, what are they going through?

That maybe they're like, yeah, I don't want to go to a funeral right now because I just went to one like last month.

So this isn't really fun for me.

So I think just...

The pressuring part is what makes her

absolutely an asshole here.

Also, your life doesn't have to end to give it meaning.

Whoa.

Hey,

she's allowed to just throw a party.

Yeah.

You're allowed to celebrate your life without it being a family.

And you're, yeah, and your life doesn't have to be ending to make your friends show up.

Unfortunately, I think if I got a like a party invite and they're like, well, it's a celebration of life.

I'd be like, I don't know.

I'm okay.

Oh, for sure.

For sure.

Comments.

OP needs to go to the funeral and say a few words to the attendees about how unbelievably self-centered, narcissistic, and thirsty she is.

That'll go over really well.

And how insensitive she is to others going through real loss.

I I love like the Reddit take of like when they're like you know you need to like you need to like sue her like you need to like you need to like you need to sue this well like dude lawyer up

then drop the mic and leave to binge watch stranger things not the asshole someone said turn it into a roast tell everyone except Karen not the asshole sounds familiar

No, I agree.

There's always a comment that's like the catharsis comment of like, well, you should show up to her house with a bulldozer and

bulldozer house.

Bulldozer house because she's dead now so and foreclose her house um someone said i have so many questions is this like a birthday and it's funeral themed a funny leaving office themed party a random party on a random day has she expressed any signs of wanting to end her life does she have a terminal illness no i would i would

raise questions for me it's like when you have a big theme i always need like a justification for the theme Yeah, just like a little something.

Like, are you leaving the job?

Like, what's happened?

What if we get, what if you all show up to the party and she's legit dead?

She's like in a casket.

That would be crazy.

Yeah, and it's a murder mystery.

It's like, one of you killed me.

And you showed up, and then you find out that she was so pissed.

You weren't.

Not only do you show up and she's dead, she's like a skeleton.

It's like she's been dead for five years.

Yeah, yeah.

And anytime.

You're working with a ghost.

And you're like, you talked to her?

You didn't.

You're crazy.

It's like that Tegan and Sarah song working with a ghost.

Whoa.

First time a Tegan and Sarah song has been referenced on credit stories.

Tegan and Sarah has been referenced.

OP responded to that comment.

They're co-workers.

Yeah.

They are.

Pence are good.

OP responded that saying, well, the way she talked about it made it feel like a celebration of life more than anything else.

I actually overheard another co-worker asking her about her well-being and Karen answered that she was absolutely fine, but that birthdays weren't that special anymore or something like that.

Someone said, my grandma had a funeral for her 40th birthday party.

They set up a coffin in the living room and she laid in it all night while her friends gave her drinks and well wishes.

Grandma and grandpa posed in that coffin for pictures pretending to be dead with their favorite drinks in hand.

At their actual funerals decades later, we printed those out poster size and freaked out some of the younger significant others that attended.

I'm not sure if they requested that, but it's what they would have wanted.

My grandparents partied.

You know, we figured out a way to monetize this.

I was just about to say, it's actually pretty fucking rich of us to sit here this whole time and be like, she's crazy for doing this when we have so much content.

I think there's a difference, though.

Yeah.

Yeah.

because

ours makes money.

But ours was justified.

It was like, here's a joke machine.

Like, here's a roast.

Right.

And it's a theme.

And it's good.

And you can't get it.

Here's a thing.

There's a difference between a funeral-themed party and my preemptive funeral.

Because

it's being like, hey, I'm having a party this weekend and it's funeral themed.

Yeah.

Is one thing.

It's, hey, I'm having a

my funeral to celebrate my life.

It's like, okay.

And it's not even on her birthday, it doesn't sound like.

It's just like, hey, I'm throwing myself a party where everybody's going to be celebrating me.

Yeah.

And it's, it's just,

it's a little, a couple extra layers there.

I've never really meant anything more than what I'm about to say.

I believe parties, all parties are a celebration of life.

Yeah.

Here you hear.

Sometimes I feel like pressured to like go into work sometimes.

Like, you know, so this co- I can relate to like this, like, you know, when they're like, hey, Spencer, like, we need you in today, like, because you're in the shoots today.

And I'm like, you know, it's just, it's like this unfair pressure that, like,

what if I don't feel like going?

It's just not, it's like, it's kind of like, it feels like a little invasive.

And it's like, you know, I should show it.

I should show up and like, you know, I should show up and be like, you know what, you're, you're narcissistic.

You're like self-serving.

Like, look at you just asking me to show up.

Like, you're

not going to be asking me to, like you don't know what I'm going through.

I was up late like, you know,

I had to squeeze in a shower this morning.

Like you don't know what I'm going through.

You want me here at 8.30 in the morning?

I was here.

I was supposed to be here at 8.

I showed up at 8.20 and I'm sorry.

You are so I had to squeeze in a shower this morning, Coden.

I had to squeeze in a shower.

I had to.

Look,

I'll just say 8 a.m.

call time.

I showed up at 7.45 with donuts.

That's crazy.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Guys, I'm having my funeral this Saturday.

Please show up.

And Tegan and Sarah are co-workers.

And they will be performing

somewhere else, not at my place.

Coworkers is really funny to me.

Allie and AJ, co-workers.

Yeah.

Okay.

Am I the asshole because I took all the leftovers home after a work party?

Luke.

Luke.

Baker.

Before we even get into this, Luke is absolutely famous for taking all the leftovers.

But we acknowledge it.

We know that that's what he's going to do.

Yeah, let's see.

Let's hear this.

I think, before we get into this, I think having that co-worker who takes all the leftovers is a very important part of the ecosystem.

You go, thank you, sir.

Like, they are a necessary part of making sure there's no waste, that the environment stays healthy.

It's good for the soil.

It's absolutely.

Yes, it's like a worm.

Yeah, exactly.

They're our office worms.

They're breaking down the materials and kind of like, you know, the earth, like, will reabsorb them.

Literally.

I'm going to let Luke know that he's the office worm.

100%.

Well, we still would love it.

If you were the office worm.

Here we go.

I've worked at this company for three years.

My three-year anniversary landed on the same day of my significant other proposing, and to top it off, I'm getting promoted.

I was expecting at least something from my coworkers, like a small party or gift, nothing fancy.

Dude, if I expected a dude.

What?

I'm like, hey, everything's going awesome in my life.

I was expecting people to, you know, kind of throw a party for me for that.

Nothing fancy.

Nothing fancy.

I won the the lottery and nobody threw a party for me just nothing fancy or anything it's my dude i i am sorry i could not give less of a about a work anniversary

i'm sorry no no what i care less about is your la anniversary

people go i've been in la for six years i'm sorry probably everyone has done those i don't get it respond with that sucks man yeah cool you've been in this city for that long

Yeah, and you still haven't made it.

When you, no, that's

not to you.

I might see you saying that to someone else, but like when you're like I would say you have made it like whoa, you've worked at Smosh for this long.

I'm like, ooh, don't remind me, just kidding.

You're the longest at all.

No, I know.

All right, I got to get out of here.

2014, so probably 10 years.

24 years.

Yeah.

It's probably been about 10 years since I've worked on Smosh in some capacity.

Crazy.

Bring out the party.

Yeah.

And where's my party?

Okay, so

again, they

my three-year anniversary,

my three-year anniversary land on the same day of my significant other proposing, and to top it off, I'm getting promoted.

I was expecting that.

Also, my birthday.

Yeah, I was expecting at least something from my coworkers, like a small party or a gift, nothing fancy.

I was pretty hurt when I came in that week to find nothing.

There were congrats and well done, but nothing else.

I poured my eyes out later to my significant other and expressed how uncared about I felt.

He contacted one of my coworkers, soon-to-be employee, and she went to my manager and said something like that.

Whoa, what?

They had a little buffet in the break room, just the common stuff, veggie platter, dips, chips, and sweets, like cookies, tarts, and brownies,

some banners.

Yeah, at the end of the day, I took the leftovers home with me on the plates slash Tupperware they came in on.

The coworker, again, my soon-to-be employee,

that's crazy.

Are you in that bird?

Yeah.

This is why Shane wind that bird.

Yeah, this is the one that's going to be the rewinder.

Again, my soon-to-be employee texted me the next day asking if I took the sweets she made along with the plates.

I said yeah, and she got super hostile.

Apparently, she wanted to keep those in the break room so that those unable to attend the party could still eat.

And nowhere did she say this was all for me.

She also needed the platter plate back because she was making a birthday cake for her niece.

My significant other and I both agreed it was wrong for her to text me like that, and seeing as it was my party, if I wanted the leftovers, I deserve them.

But he thinks I should have just apologized to keep the peace.

If I'm not wrong, I don't see the point.

Oh my god.

When I direct a games video, are y'all like my employees?

Yeah, you can.

Can I say that?

Like when you're like, when I'm like, hey,

you have to cross-go to get another $200.

In that moment, in that moment, you're in those gentlemen's costumes.

Yeah, you're our boss.

My coworker, sorry, I mean my employee.

That's a crazy way to

look at things.

Yeah, that's a crazy assertion of power.

This person sucks.

Yeah.

This person's straight out of the office.

This person sucks in every sentence of this story.

Every part of this they suck.

It's really hard, I think.

Like when you scroll through the MI the Asshole like subreddit, you asshole where they're declared the asshole is very rare.

Because usually probably when people write out their story.

You're trying to make yourself sound a little bit.

They usually,

it's why I believe a lot of stories.

I'm like, I'm getting this from one perspective, and you're probably painting yourself.

But if you even are attempting to do that and it comes through fully that you're the worst person,

you have to be so delusional.

It's like you were in control of every sentence that you wrote.

Because journaling is often a way that you write things out, and you kind of like, it kind of clears things up for you.

Where you're like, oh, I'm in the wrong in this situation, or, oh, I see it, now I see it on paper.

So to write this all out and be like, submit to the internet

and not go, oh, I should probably erase that line where I say one of my coworkers, soon to be employee.

Soon to be below me.

Like that's what I mean.

I also, I guess I kind of have this mindset, maybe, I don't think it's sad, that like, especially as an adult, like,

especially in my 30s, I just don't expect like celebrations for me.

You have to

celebrate yourself in a way.

Especially not coworkers.

Maybe I get it when people are talking about like a significant other or like, you know, if you're

hanging out with your family on a a weekend of your birthday they don't say anything like moms and significant others

you can expect a celebration from but like anybody else co-workers especially everyone's got their own shit going on and frankly a lot of shit going on none of what they listed are things that i think warrant a celebration

celebration yeah uh yeah especially um you know getting your getting married maybe

maybe i wouldn't expect a celebration i wouldn't expect it but like at the very least maybe if someone got you like flowers or something, yeah.

But ultimately, they're saying they walked in and people were like, hey, congrats.

Hey, well done.

You are so lucky if I acknowledge how long you've worked somewhere.

I don't.

You are so.

You are so lucky.

You should thank me.

I never think about that stuff, but getting promoted is also not like, I wouldn't expect, that's...

kind of the reward and the celebration

itself.

Congrats, you get more money.

Yeah, like, congrats, you're about to be my boss.

You what?

It's not like, hey, I should give you something.

I agree with there's a note, never take food in the container containers they came from, or they came in.

If you're a coworker, like if you want to take leftovers home, like make sure it's not someone's Tupperware.

Yeah, yeah.

Obviously.

I mean, that's

the cheap shit.

I mean, come on.

Unless it's like the first

unless it's spaghetti stained.

Yeah, and then that's just like, come on.

You're doing them a favor.

It's like I was looking to throw away that spaghetti stained Tupperware.

Yeah.

And I think Luke is very good about this, but if you're going to take leftovers, you at least ask before you do it.

Or if everybody's packing up and leaving, like,

take it.

Like, I don't know.

Yeah.

I think, though,

what makes them an asshole to me is just their perspective.

Yeah.

Like, it's hard for me.

I don't even care about the actions, but I'm like, when you wrote it out like this, I can't even get past just the way he wrote it.

Yeah.

Some comments.

OP, you are not owed anything.

I have the most wonderful team at work, and we're all very close and work well together.

Not one of them knows my work anniversary, nor would I expect them to.

The only reason the date is relevant to me is because that's the date I asked my supervisor for my annual review and hopefully a raise.

You've been at your job for three years.

Big whoop.

Congrats on all your other achievements you mentioned, but you're extremely entitled and you don't expect more of people.

You expect absolute nonsense from people that no one would usually think of.

You're the asshole.

Someone said, you're the asshole.

How old are you?

Your coworkers, or soon to be employees, as you put it, do not owe you a party because you worked worked at a company for three years or the fact that you got promoted or the fact you got engaged, period.

It's something also I hate you.

Also, you're dumb.

And I hate that.

Also, lawyer up because your wife is cheating.

And also, I'm not.

Also, your wife is cheating.

Yeah.

I'm not going to your preemptive funeral.

And check her phone.

White people did pop off with big whoop.

Big whoop is good.

Big whoop is good.

Big whoop is good.

Whoop, dude.

It's something that coworkers do if they feel like it and not because they feel obligated to.

The fact that none of them wanted to until you cried to your boyfriend speaks volumes of how they feel about you on an interpersonal level.

You might want to sink in for a bit.

Also, office etiquette is if there are any leftovers, you leave them at the office so that anyone who wasn't able to attend gets some as well.

And to take the containers and plates as well makes you an even bigger asshole.

Hey, bro, we left you some celery.

OP says in another comment that she's 38.

Along this line of...

38 and acting like this is crazy.

It's crazy.

And it's crazy to me that she like...

Because to me, I thought it was like one of those boys that like only watches mad men that thinks like, hey, I got a promotion.

Everyone, Everyone, let's go out.

Promotion.

That's how they say it.

Yeah.

Or like, you know, it just feels like.

That's crazy.

I feel bad for anyone who's our age and is looking for that level of affirmation.

I'm just like, that's not.

That fucking sucks.

If by 30, you aren't like.

Wait, are they 30 or 38?

They're 38.

Yeah.

But I'm saying, even by like, even by like 25,

if you're not like cool with yourself and content with yourself, if you're seeking that approval from co-workers.

You better wake up.

So lastly, someone said, along this line of thought, it is standard practice to gift down.

You are now the supervisor.

You should provide for those who work for you, not expect them to provide for you.

I would be dreading working for you at this point.

Yeah.

It's a very old-fashioned.

She's their boss.

Yeah.

It's like,

if I'm now working for her, I'm looking for another job.

I'm like, this job is going to suck so much.

But it's very old-fashioned.

It's why, like, I think...

This is very like our town speak, but like, I think back in the day, it would be assumed that like the head or top of the call sheet and like the lead of the show would get all the gifts and the flowers but now that person like the lead of a show usually gets like a food truck for people at the end like how Kiana bought all those motorcycles.

Kiana got us all motorcycles.

Sorry.

Kiana.

Kiana is getting all motorcades.

Kiana got us all motorcycles.

When like the like the like quarterback usually gets everyone on the team like a big Christmas gift or whatever.

When you're the big person, you should get gifts for people.

And I feel like it's but back in the day it used to be really corrupt and I feel like it used to be like oh the the best people get the gifts I do think though people are also I think younger generations millennials and Gen Z in particular from from what I'm hearing like that type of stuff in in the workplace people give less of a shit about yeah it's like I don't give a shit about parties gifts fucking pay me Yeah better.

Like that's the like if my boss like because I feel like Smosh does a better job of this.

It's like cool parties like, oh, you got us gifts, cool, but we're not getting a raise.

Okay, sick, great.

Like, you know, it's a pizza party meme.

It's a workplace.

Like, it's, we're there to do a job.

Like, the best type of coworkers are the ones who just are doing their job so your job isn't harder.

Yeah.

Like, that's the best gift you can give to your coworker is making their job like

obstructive.

Respect.

Yeah, that's like, I just think expecting, putting pressure on interpersonal stuff in a workplace is probably the worst shit you can do.

100%.

Update.

Yes.

Stop saying I forced my significant other to contact my coworker.

That was his own choice, and never once did I imply I approved or wanted him to do that.

I only took the Tupperware because I had nothing else to carry the leftovers in.

I like to imagine that all the coworkers are in their 20s, and it's like, and there's this 38-year-old woman who's just terrorizing us.

I try to make all my employees feel special and celebrate their achievements so I had more expectations out of them than I should have.

That was was my mistake.

My mistake was having expectations that you would perform.

That update's probably gone well.

Sick.

I love an update starting with stop.

Stop it.

Stop.

No, I love when you tell the internet to stop.

Yeah.

Because it always works.

It will, yeah.

The internet will actually listen to you and they'll be like, oh, guys, we need to stop hating.

Literally, stop thinking I did that.

I did it.

There's no better way to get just ruined on the internet than to tell people to stop.

It's just the worst thing you can say.

Well,

she sucks.

Amen.

There you go.

This next one comes from True Off My Chest.

My coworker is a totally normal person and he fascinates me.

Oh, I love this shit.

He has no mental health problems like everyone else here and most of the other people in my life.

He isn't on any meds.

He's physically healthy.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

We can finally talk about our Shane Guess's pitch.

I'm so glad this is now out.

He has no mental health problems like everyone else here and most of the other people in my life.

He isn't on any meds.

He's physically healthy.

I've had to explain my panic attacks, anxiety, my meds, being overwhelmed by basically everything, and so much more to him because he's never experienced/slash heard of them.

Almost everyone I know is a mess, and the contrast between them, myself and him, is amazing to me.

It's like he's a machine.

Just some other things.

He's never late to work.

He He doesn't oversleep.

He doesn't have trouble sleeping.

He doesn't have meltdowns, tantrums, outbursts, or shutdowns.

He isn't allergic to anything, and he has no food sensitivities, or at least none that he knows of.

He works out every day, either at home or the gym.

He has no chronic health issues.

He doesn't get stuck or freeze or get trapped in a loop.

He can drive without issue and knows how to get to where he wants to go without his phone.

Detours don't cause him any issues.

If things don't go to plan or have to change or just fall apart, he just adapts and moves on.

This is how people feel when they meet me.

If a big choice has to be made, he just makes it.

He does what he says he'll do when he says he'll do it the way he says he'll do it.

He can solve problems.

There's no googling, no looking it up.

He just knows.

He doesn't keep his phone on him all day.

He just puts it away and has no need to look at it.

He doesn't use social media.

He doesn't follow it.

He doesn't care about it.

I'm obsessed.

I love this.

I'm obsessed with you.

You've seen the guest, right?

Yeah.

I'm singing when he gets back to his room and he just goes,

yeah.

this guy's awesome.

I'm obsessed with.

Where's the problem, bro?

Just not this guy, but this person's obsession with this is so relatable to me.

Where like I have seen people without anxiety and been like, look at you, just operate the world.

It is frustrating.

I have a friend that I grew up with and went to college with who has no anxiety.

And she was fascinating to me.

And still to this day, like I am, I love being around her because the world's so

interesting to me I think it's just like the lack we're so used to like now embracing

our like

right I mean I'm trying to think of like you know I think there have been times where I thought someone was like this and then you get to know them better it's like oh no they they do have they're just better at hiding or coping with it, but it's it's no I have a friend that like I'm gonna be confident.

I don't think anyone here is like this.

And it like she is just like, huh,

let's go.

Yeah.

What?

What do you mean you're nervous?

What do you mean?

You don't think you can do it?

I think you can.

Let's go.

I have met people like that who just are so chill, whatever.

I feel like sometimes with people like that, they can't comprehend anxiety.

No, that's what's tough.

Because then when you're anxious, they're like, they're like, what?

No, 100%.

It was very, there were times where it was so fun to be around her, but then there were times where it was like, it was ridiculous.

Cause it would be like, we're about to like, cause, yeah, she was like, I did theater with her and it would be like she'd be like why don't you think you can do it and i was like i

i was like i'm having imposter syndrome i don't feel like i'm good enough and she was like but you should feel like you're good enough she's i'm like yeah i should well

if i could do that then i don't know no but confidence of that level is fascinating yeah because i'm just like oh you don't think certain thoughts yeah like in a good way like thought unnecessary thoughts you don't have the monkey brain thing that where it's like that monkey on your shoulder that's telling you shit that's what monkey brain is?

I don't know.

I had I think a therapist once referred to it as that.

So I actually have been told that I don't get anxious in the same way sometimes.

Like,

you know, like I don't have that like kind of worst case scenario brain that I think a lot of people have.

And I think for some people that is hard for them to like

kind of relate to.

Well, anxiety comes in many different forms, right?

But it's just like it's it's the complete void of any form of anxiety.

Exactly.

And like, I feel like you are so, you're layered.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

And like, this friend of mine was so not even that.

And it was hard for me to get deep on a different layer.

To me, it's like,

I kind of just don't believe it.

Like, I don't believe that you can have

that lack of

depth of feelings.

Like, you know, I feel like they just, they don't know this person well enough yet.

I think that's also very likely.

I think i i don't know if i've met someone who i think has never

gone through any sort of mental struggles i don't know it doesn't have to be diagnosable but it's just like something i think mental struggles i think this person like my friend has been nervous before has been sad before has been scared before but like anxious like like um like a certain type of like in your body like like oh my god i have no reason to feel this way and and or like

yeah i think like normal everyday emotions that are reactions to your surroundings, I think this person has.

Like, it's not like a psychopath type of thing.

Right.

But I think it's just like the idea of like kind of like an ease to life that this person has where it's like, oh, I'm lost.

I know how to get home.

I mean, it kind of makes me think of,

you guys know the movie Unbreakable.

You know how his whole theory is like, well,

Samuel Jackson, his character, like, is like so...

His body's like so broken and so weak and so brittle.

Like he like breaks all his bones if he like moves at all.

And he's like, well, if that's true, then there must be the opposite of this where someone's, you know, where like someone's so strong that like nothing on their body can break.

And it's like, I wonder if there's like someone so mentally ill that, that there must be the opposite where there's someone so not mentally, like if there's a spectrum, maybe they're just like the full end of the spectrum where it's like, yeah, I don't really have that.

Well, it also reminds me of people who you meet and their family is like.

kind of perfect.

No, it's like, oh, yeah.

Our whole family hangs out every weekend and we all love each other and we never have issues.

It's just like,

are you guys, what, planning?

No, it's not.

It's not, do not believe his lies.

None of that.

None of that's.

Find me a family that's not so fucked up.

Well, I think that even the families that aren't so fucked up, there's just a little like.

No, they are so fucked up.

But there's a little fucked up.

No, every family is so fucked up.

That's, yeah, I'm standing Anna Karinina over here.

Yeah.

I, yeah, I mean, I have a hard time believing that there's anyone who's just got nothing going on.

Now, diagnosable, like needing medication, yeah, I think there's plenty of people.

100%.

And what's funny to me is her obsession with OPs of the city.

That's what's so funny.

Oh, it's funny.

Because it's relatable to me.

It's very sweet.

Where your...

Your

neuroses sometimes are so at the front of your life that when you see someone with such ease, it's so like, it's like a fantasy.

You're like, whoa.

I don't remember the the last time I saw someone like that.

I know.

I also

use maps to get literally home, even if I know how to get home.

I use it just because.

I think it's a good habit, honestly.

But like when I see someone just like, like she said, like, like OP said, to just get home, doesn't use, doesn't use a phone.

I'm also curious how old this person is, because, you know, it's also a matter of like, maybe if she talked with him, he'd be like, oh, well, I used to.

Like, I've, in getting older and working on things, I've gotten better.

Like, or like

he's coping, he's coping with things in a certain way

was he before

yeah I mean and look like yeah the internet and social media can provide a lot of great stuff he doesn't use social media which look I mean social media I think

I

think you're fully living a different life I think social media

really fucks us up a lot and I say that and that's part of my job.

I think it is so designed to manipulate our brains that it caused a lot of anxiety.

I think him not using social media probably

is part of factor here.

It must be where he lives, too.

It must be like us, like an option where you don't need to be on that, the job that he has.

But it's also true.

It's also true, and we should just say this again, of like some people just come across one way and we just actually don't know what's going on.

100%.

We should have like a challenge pit.

Like, who can be the most normal for like an hour?

Yeah, be normal for a minute.

Be normal for like, just, I need you to be normal for like five, like

really though, I think about this.

This is dark, but you know, like with true crime, there are like serial killers who like, yeah, they had a family and kids and everything.

And they didn't use maps.

Everyone in the community thought they were awesome.

It's like, and they were a serial killer.

Like

you don't really know sometimes.

Comments here.

Someone said, sounds like a man who is confident and somewhat content with himself.

OP said he's definitely confident and I assume content with himself.

Honestly, I'm jealous of it.

Someone said, a normal dude who was transported here from the 1980s before the internet, before GPS, and before social media, rare nowadays.

People in the 80s.

OP says he was born in 1983.

So I do think he's older.

So I think there's also a lot of elements of like, maybe he's like, maybe he would be like, oh, yeah, in my 20s, I was an anxious mess.

And I've learned, like, I put in a lot of work and I've gotten to this point.

That's it.

It's actually so true.

I'm thinking about people like in my older generation.

Like, my grandpa wasn't like an anxious dude.

I've, my anxiety.

I'm.

Maybe he wasn't.

Yeah, maybe he wasn't.

Maybe he is.

But I will say like the older I've gotten, the more things have gotten better.

Like in my early 20s, I was a fucking mess.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Same.

I was thinking thoughts that I have now gotten over.

And a lot of it has from like,

you know, you get, the older you get in life, it's, you're not as like holding on to who am I and what is my life because you start to kind of move past those milestones.

You just go, well, I'm just living life.

And I don't know.

Someone said, how exactly did we get to the point where being an average person was considered shocking?

Lastly, someone said, The idea of normal is often made to be this weird cookie-cutter version of things where we are all the same.

But all you described here was a normal person that's paying attention to the present and growing on top of what little effort they put in today.

It looks big because they've been doing it for years.

Truly, the biggest bit of sadness one should feel about this is that they didn't get the same environment to grow at that pace, and that is no one's fault but life and random number generator luck, to be honest, doesn't entirely stop you from being able to have it in your lifetime.

Yeah, so is he single or so like what's his deal?

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Next story.

Am I the asshole for refusing to give up my vacation days so my coworker can go on her honeymoon?

Asshole!

Maybe.

Lawyer!

Your coworker's cheating on you, dude.

I work at a small company where vacation time is pretty limited, and we have to request it months in advance.

I put in my request almost a year ago to take a two-week vacation during the holidays.

My plan was to visit family who live out of the country, something I only get to do once every few years.

Recently a coworker of mine who's getting married came up to me and asked if I'd be willing to give up my vacation days so she could go on her honeymoon.

She apparently didn't realize how quickly the days would fill up and waited too long to request her time off.

Now, the only way she can go is if someone cancels, and since I have one of the longest vacation blocks, she came to me first.

I told her I was really sorry, but I can't give up my time.

This trip means a lot to me, and it's the only time I can see my family this year.

She wasn't happy and told me I was being selfish for not accommodating her once-in-a-lifetime event.

Now, a few other coworkers are chiming in, suggesting I could be more flexible since I don't have special circumstances like a wedding.

I feel bad, but I also plan this trip far in advance, and it's important to me.

Am I the asshole for not giving up my vacation so she can go on her honeymoon?

This is a crazy like vacation system.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm going a vacation.

You can't.

Yeah,

because it's a small company.

Like a hotline and like

I don't know.

I don't know.

I mean, I'm assuming jobs where it's Tegan and Sarah.

It's Tegan and Sarah.

Tegan and Sarah, so Sarah needs time.

I assume like, you know,

with a lot of jobs where maybe it's like a more necessary like their jobs more important than this?

I just mean like where it's like if you're working at like a maybe a small clinic

or something where it's like

you need people there.

You can't like shift your schedule.

Her immediately flipping and calling him selfish is i don't think i've ever called anyone selfish like especially like a co-worker to their face i'd be like well i can never really work with them again i don't know that's a crazy accusation to throw up yeah i can't i can't fathom but i know we work in a very specific type of job of like just asking someone to take off their pto like to retract their vacation for me and like clearly like you know the the person posting this like empathizes with them they feel like I like,

I say clearly, I mean, I think, I want to believe that they do, but it's like, hey, like, you know,

maybe ask someone else.

Like, I'm sure if they were kinder about it and like tried to work something out, maybe.

Am I also the one, like, maybe

like a honeymoon is once in a lifetime, but you can, a honeymoon is just a vacation that you can push back.

It's not like there's a specific window.

You have to have the honeymoon.

You can have the honeymoon later, unless they already booked the honeymoon, but they didn't take their pto but it's still on them it feels like because of her workplace

you can't do last minute vacations yeah like it feels like it has to be months and it feels like what he did is the right way and she has to unfortunately do that like she can't like yeah she can't force him to change his plans and that's just their work environment because if he changes it it's like now he's gonna have to wait another year Yeah for this.

But his circumstances sound very special too of like he sees his family once every few years.

A lot of people have their honeymoon a year after their wedding.

Yeah, I was gonna say it feels like a newer trend where it's like, oh, and like, you know, we're gonna do our honeymoon way later.

It's like so old-fashioned to be like, okay, tomorrow they get on a plane.

Yeah.

Bro, I just saw you.

Yeah.

Just hanging out like all day.

Literally.

Yeah, I don't see the problem with.

It's kind of crazy to have a full wedding and then go on a vacation the next day.

And I think people have stopped doing it because it's just ridiculous.

Yeah, it's like you want it to make, if you're planning a wedding and a honeymoon, that sounds like a nightmare to me, but that's a whole different.

Yeah.

No, you can't force someone to take off their, to give up their PTL.

Yeah, and it was, it was their, it was them immediately turning around and calling him selfish or

quickly thereafter calling him selfish or them selfish.

That's what's also weird about this works way of like getting time off is that everyone's time belongs to themselves.

You shouldn't have to like ask for your time.

Like that, it's just a breach of privacy to be like, I need your free time for my free time.

Like, it just shouldn't, it shouldn't add up like that.

Yeah, and I don't know the work situation that they're in if it's like

go to the HR, the boss, and, and ask for, like, is there something we can do about this situation so I can get this time off.

They should be asking somebody else as like a mediator.

It's not each other, because that's so fucked up.

A bunch of comments.

Just say, I'm sorry, my trip is non-refundable and expensive.

There's no way I could undo the plans I've been making for a year.

No other words necessary.

It's on her and on the company to decide if they could make an exception for her special event she badly planned for.

A company issue, I think.

Totally.

Totally.

To those saying no is a complete sentence, sure, absolutely.

But this is not just one person, but several coworkers.

Most people like to try to maintain at least neutrality with their coworkers who they see daily and can have an impact on their career.

So having a legit logic to politely reference can win them back to neutral and may be worth it.

I do agree with that.

That could be.

Like there's the thought.

Well, what we were saying, like with Redditors being so quickly, like, oh, just cut them out of your life.

It's like, I don't think you ever think about the implications of fully like

shutting someone down.

It's like, there's a reason people don't go around like saying how they feel exactly.

Totally, because with coworkers, you're stuck with them.

Yeah.

And I understand like to make your job like tolerable, you do want to maintain neutrality.

You want to be like, okay, I don't want to have enemies that I go work with who are going to make my life hell.

They might be in the wrong.

They're assholes.

But that

it's talking about like making making your job easier um so yeah like no is a complete sentence if it was like someone stranger it was someone you don't have to see every day or even a friend because yeah a friend you can choose to never see again usually but a coworker you can't you're there maintain maintain civility um so i understand like trying to go about this in a way that kind of like

keeps it calm.

Not the asshole.

The only asshole here is your boss who apparently won't hire a temp or clothes shop to accommodate this.

Sucks for her, but she should have been more proactive.

I'm assuming this wedding and honeymoon was long planned.

Also, LOL, all your coworkers ganging up on you saying you should cancel because they don't want to be the ones to cancel LMAO.

Oof, that's a good point.

No, this job, and I know there's just so many jobs that are legit a grind and like

a pit where you're stuck and like...

Smosh.

No, this job is, I feel like, really great with this.

This is a smosh games.

No, well, you said it's a pit.

Oh, yeah.

But so many jobs, like from what I've heard from people and what I read about, like people are stuck in jobs where it's like really hard.

Like there's no flexibility.

And this sounds like one of them.

So that's tough.

And I agree, like the asshole is the boss.

Or even if the boss is cool, like the situation they're all stuck in.

It's not each other just fighting for your own time.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's the man.

It's the system.

Next story.

It's from True Off My Chest.

The title is just Meowing Coworker.

Been there.

My coworker, who's a V tuber.

Yeah.

A PNG tuber.

Wait, you have to keep it.

Meowing.

Is there more?

No, that's it.

So I was having a casual morning, nothing special.

Went into work saying my good mornings and hellos as usual.

Never had a weird situation occur in two plus years until yesterday.

We work at a cat cafe.

I never saw any cats, though.

It's usually empty.

I walked in and said hello to one of my coworkers, female, and she looked me dead in the eye and goes, meow.

Now I'm standing there like, what do I say?

And there's this awkward silence and the lady is still looking at me for a response.

Everyone else is pretty busy so I'm like 90% sure they didn't hear the meow.

So I did the only logical thing any normal human being would do.

And barked.

Meowed the fuck back while staring her back dead in the eyes.

The only problem was my meow was 10 times louder so most of the office floor looked up at me and they saw me staring at a coworker dead in the eyes and meowing.

Not sure what the hell they're thinking of me.

No one spoke to me for the rest of the day.

What a day.

End of story?

Some say that's the beginning of a story.

Wait, so that sucks.

So he's only the one that was seen meowing.

Last seen meowing, this man.

Yeah, I mean, look, he did what he had to.

He matched their freak and was punished for it.

And, you know, like Jesus.

I'm going to ask something that may be, maybe,

maybe unlikable.

Okay.

Do you think they're fucking?

Not yet.

Not yet, but they're about to.

Someone meows at me at the bar.

I'm like, okay.

I'm arching my back

to make myself look bigger.

I can't believe he meowed back, to be honest.

Ten times louder, he committed.

Yeah.

We all have embarrassing moments yeah not like this though i probably have something

we probably

work here i think you can do anything here

there's nothing you can't like we could get away with so much more here than probably any job i can't i can walk out i could if i walked out into our main area and you were meowed at the top of my lungs a lot of people wouldn't even look up yeah no i yeah no they would be like are you rolling They truly be like, oh, are you doing your job right now?

I think if, okay, if you meowed under your breath okay and we were like normal people in a normal work environment and then I meowed back out of courtesy or like yes anding you and then everyone looked at me didn't hear you do it I would go he meowed at me yeah

your honor I'd be like he meowed she meow she meowed first she meowed first

your honor she meowed

Comments, you did the right thing meowing back.

But trust me, the tone and volume matter.

I don't know why, but it does.

OP said, see, I didn't think I was being loud, but it's not like I meow all the time, so it came out a lot louder than I was expecting.

He needs to be practicing.

He's like, yeah.

It's not like I meow all the time.

Someone said, maybe she's a big fan of super troopers.

I guess there's the meowing game in the super troopers.

I haven't seen super troopers in a long time.

It's pretty cringe, bro.

We'll confirm this if our conversations progress further than meowing.

Someone said, so this is all I have to do to get my coworkers to stop talking to me?

There you go.

Update.

We're in bed together.

If they fuck,

I want us to blast music and I want everyone to get up and dance.

Okay, you're putting money on that they are going to fuck.

If they fuck or fall in love, I'm going to lose my fucking mom.

All right.

Okay.

Okay, my son.

What do you think?

He was fired.

You think he's fired?

And then they fucked.

And then they fucked.

Okay.

I think it's just going to be kind of boring and a lame.

Yeah, and that's what it will be, but I'm just giving myself

a little bit of a something.

Okay, here we go.

Yo, one of y'all done me dirty.

So I was already feeling skeptical because the post had blown up bigger than I thought.

Anyways, I go into work a bit nervous as is.

I'm walking inside, and everyone usually says hi, hello, etc.

But

hello, etc., but everyone is minding their own business.

Not a single person has said anything.

I'm thinking I'll quickly get over to my desk.

I'm looking for the meowing co-worker secretly, but I can't find her anywhere.

Just wanted to see if there was any awkwardness, but she's nowhere to be found.

I thought that's a bit weird, but I walk over to my desk and I kid you not, dead serious, someone put catnip on my desk and left a paper which had a screenshot of this comment.

I don't know why, but I got this bad feeling someone from my work has read my post.

With that.

You got a feeling.

Someone I work with was definitely on this thread.

I can't tell who it is, but I feel like everyone was looking up at me and

looking away.

Like the whole office knows, but no one's saying anything.

The whole day went by and I didn't hear anything from no one.

What the actual fuck?

Now out of all these people, how the hell am I gonna find that one person?

And if the meowing co-worker is reading this,

I wanted to woof at you today.

I want you.

Oh, and if the meowing co-worker is reading this, I wanted to woof at you today,

winking emoji.

JK, but where were you today for real?

So they want to fuck.

This is a worst update.

I wanted them to hook up.

Woof.

Yeah.

That's rough, buddy.

He had utter humiliation.

Also, like the idea of that,

I don't think I could survive in an environment where if you do one cringe thing, everybody gives you the cold shoulder.

Oh, yeah, no.

Like, I've lived my life.

At least here, you don't get the cold shoulder.

You just get it on a thumbnail over and over.

Yeah, yeah, it gets clipped, and our fans are going to reference it forever.

They're going to comment, I fear I'm losing the room over and over.

And that's just, and then it just gets printed out and shit like that.

Yeah, they draw fan art of it.

And that's fine.

Then you just get, then that's your brand.

But then, could you imagine the cold shoulder?

No.

We're so blessed at this job.

We're very blessed where at this job, doing something cringe honestly is kind of a good thing sometimes.

It's kind of like when a little kid is.

Like it actually kind of helps us.

It's literally like when a little kid in like an adult environment comes out wearing a Spider-Man costume and everyone goes, Spider-Man!

That's like our whole job.

Yeah.

That's what I feel like.

That is kind of our job.

Stupid, everyone goes, yeah.

No,

I would fail at probably 99% of jobs.

Yeah.

I think anyone who watches the show spots pretty quickly, like Shane.

Shane could not work anywhere.

But this,

when I was complaining about showing up here at 8 a.m., and most people listening to this were like, I was at work two hours before I was in the middle of the day.

I was doing this on my way to saving lives

at 4 a.m.

But a job where I have to

not be silly

ever, I'm going to fail if every day is trying to launch

God named me silly all day?

Yeah.

Trick me.

I show people.

Try not to laugh at me.

In my interview to start the job with HR.

So I'm like, so like every day is try not to laugh?

Wait, so every day I can't laugh?

I can't laugh?

Every day, but there's no spit?

They're like, this is a funeral home.

And I'm like, so

every day's a lot of people.

I'm dying.

So every dates don't win?

So what if I come in with my gentleman's outfit?

All right, moving on.

Final story.

Oh, shit.

This comes from Best of Redditor updates.

So

buckle up.

Fuck yeah, we needed this.

My coworkers are engaged.

Been there.

I've been there and the internet blew the fuck up.

My coworkers are engaged, but one of them is cheating.

with my boss.

This did not happen.

Let's be clear, this did not happen.

My question is regarding a rather sticky situation I am unwillingly involved in.

In short, I think I am reliving an episode of The Office.

I have two colleagues who are about to get married to each other.

Let us call them Joe and Kate.

Unfortunately, I know for a fact that Kate is having sex with Peter, who is my direct manager.

It's an open secret in the office that Peter and Kate often go on work trips together, and everyone knows it except Joe.

This isn't speculation because about a month ago, Peter and Kate were gone but there was a deadline to meet.

So Peter joined one of our meeting meetings via video and we saw Kate try to sneak behind undressed.

Jesus.

Fortunately Joe wasn't in the meeting.

Different team.

I am wondering what exactly I should do here.

Morally, I am against cheating, but also, and I can't stress this enough, I just don't want to deal with the mess of it all.

However, the wedding is...

However, the wedding is approaching and I have received an invite.

I can't in good conscience go to this wedding when I know what I know.

I feel a moral compulsion to tell Joe, but is it even my business?

Should I even get involved?

Other than this mess, I generally like my office and my coworkers.

Oh, make that shit my business.

I am there.

I am paid well for my role and other than his less than stellar attitude towards sexual fidelity, Peter is a good manager who has my back.

My industry is quite niche and my skill set is specialized, so finding another job won't be an issue, but I am comfortable here and really don't want to switch.

But every time I see poor Joe around the office, the guilt consumes me.

I am so so anxious about this that my appetite has reduced and my husband and i have seriously started looking for a therapist for me to help me deal awhile

i get that though i've never dealt with um

i've never dealt with like a secret of that level like i i don't i don't know how i'd handle that i want to believe that i would like leave an anonymous tip Totally.

And, you know, I mean, think about it.

What if you get it?

What if she gets Peter's, or what if she gets Peter's job?

What if she gets Peter's job?

So Peter is the, the, her, hero.

I didn't know his job was up for.

Yeah, so that will...

No, I'm saying he would get fired for going on work trips.

Oh, this is so fucking messy.

Like, that's what I'm saying.

I think, because

she's talking about not wanting to rock the boat.

Like, that's her only holdback of just like, I like my job.

She's not wanting to rock the boat, but like, but I also, if you're going, if you're kind of keeping, you know, keeping morals out of it and you're going, oh, just work-related.

Then this is even.

Is this my business?

Whatever.

I'm like, this is a storm.

This is about to become worse.

Like, your job is about to be fucked because of this.

So

even disregarding, like, oh, what's right and wrong and what should I do for Joe?

It's like, no, on a professional level, this is a ship that's heading towards an iceberg.

And as a professional, your boss is breaking the rules.

So you should go to HR because this is unethical workplace behavior.

I can't think of another reason for HR than this.

This is quite literally what HR is kind of for.

If they saw it, and also they saw it a video meeting the fact that it so it's now their business because they literally saw it in a meeting it's like hey it's no longer oh i i have this assumption or i know about this through whatever no this is it's hey we were having a literal meeting this came into work hours yes it's at that point you can go to also like being invited to the wedding if i if i was ever invited to the wedding of someone who i know is like actively cheating on their their fiance their fiber oh no i would be like oh some like you know.

We got to tell them.

We got to

leave a note.

We would have a horrendous time at that wedding.

I would not be well.

I'd be pacing back and forth.

I'd probably have to get a therapist.

I'd be eating the cake before they cut the cake.

I'd be a fucking mess.

So Joe is at a separate team, but Kate works directly beneath.

Peter, who she's cheating with.

They're planning work trips where they're clearly just going and having affairs, which is also for HRD.

Can they get their fucking shit together, at least?

I'm always, I keep thinking about her, like being like, whoops.

I'm always blown away.

That's really funny.

I'm always blown away by like the audacity of so many cheaters.

It's the audience.

It's the thing I say, this is fucked up.

But whenever people are like liars or cheaters, where I'm like, at least do it well.

Yeah, but sometimes, but also I'll say that sometimes people want to get caught.

Like they're, they're like, like they, they don't, their subconscious is like, I can't do this anymore.

Oh, interesting.

I can't be honest for myself, so I need someone to wrap me out.

Yeah, I do agree that that's the case sometimes.

I also think sometimes people just get so comfortable where they're like, I am fine.

Vanderpump rules.

This was actually originally posted on a website called Ask a Manager, and it was reposted onto Reddit.

So a response from Ask a Manager, Do you have HR?

If Peter and Kate aren't in each other's chain of command, HR may not care, although it sounds like it's causing enough drama and distraction in your workplace that they should.

But if there's any reporting relationship there, it's very much their business, and that might be the easiest route to know you've done something about it.

Someone else said, By any chance, does that company specialize in red flag sales and service?

Let's leave the comedy to smash.

Someone said, This is a rare situation in which an anonymous letter might be the choice, but only if you can absolutely be anonymous.

Someone said, I don't think anyone would trust an anonymous letter saying that their fiancé is cheating on them.

I might.

Oh my god.

Any Jersey Short fans in the room?

No.

Dear Ronnie.

No, dear, no, yo.

Dear Sam, Ronnie made out with a girl at bed.

Update.

It's long.

Fuck yes.

Okay, thank you so much for responding to my question.

I couldn't really respond to any of the comments on your post, but I read them and really had a good think about everything you said and what the commenters were saying as well.

I'm here to offer an update in

case you or any of your readers may be interested.

Spoiler alert, it's explosive.

The clarification: HR was kind of a joke in my former company.

They didn't do anything but perpetuate gossip.

No such thing as anonymous complaints.

Oh, Peter and Kate were different departments.

Think sales and accounting.

Okay, the good news.

A few days after I submitted the letter to you, I ended up submitting my resignation.

I start my new job next month.

So far, my coworkers seem nice.

We've had one casual hang mixer organized by the new workplace.

Everyone bought food.

My brownies were a hip.

We don't care about your job.

Yeah, I don't care how good things are.

My new company had been trying to poach me for a while and I just decided to take the plunge.

I truly can't tell you how happy I am to be away from that mess.

I've just been relaxing at home now.

My former coworkers keep me updated about everything that's been happening and safe to say I left at the right time.

Bullets dodged.

Peter was blindsided by my resignation and asked me why I was leaving and if there was anything they could do to keep me, but I refused.

I was willing to serve my notice period, but Peter said it wasn't necessary and I could leave immediately since I clearly thought I was better than them.

It was in that moment it became clear to me that I'd been telling myself Peter is a good boss, but he clearly isn't.

Even your advice touched on this briefly, so I cleared my stuff out by the end of the day, went home, and cuddled with my dogs.

Since then, Peter's boss contacted me, asked me to at least serve my notice period.

I only responded by sharing Peter's last email to me, where he threatened to have me escorted off company property if I wasn't gone by the end of the day.

The grand boss proceeded to call me to convince me to come back.

In a rare moment of wanting to be confrontational, I told him I wouldn't feel comfortable coming back because of many reasons, not just Peter's rudeness.

I told him all about Peter and Kate.

I told him my former company simply didn't have adequate safeguards, so even if I wanted to report this nonsense, I couldn't without being afraid of retaliation.

My former grand boss clearly wasn't ready for my verbal diarrhea.

said he would call me back, but it has been blessed silence since.

On the actual update, aka what is going on with Peter, Joe, and Kate.

The day after I left, Peter and Kate left for another business trip.

However, when Kate returned home, she realized their house was empty, completely bare.

It would seem Joe has been aware of the affair for a while, and instead of confronting Kate or Peter, he'd been lining his ducks in a row so he could just up and disappear.

He resigned by email, no mention of a notice period.

No one knows where he is or what he is doing.

Kate apparently tried to file a missing persons, but Joe had already informed the police he wasn't a missing person.

At the same time as Kate came home and realized Joe was gone, his entire family also blocked all forms of communication with her.

She tried to show up at Joe's parents' house only for his parents to claim they don't know her.

They never knew her, and if she didn't get off their property, they'd call the police.

I know all this from my coworkers, who know all this from Kate because she can't stop talking about it at work.

She doesn't know why Joe would have done this.

A few days after that, she also dumped Peter in a rather public, unhinged way, saying that he hypnotized her and her life was falling apart because of him.

But apparently it didn't stick for long because the next day they were having loud and violent sex in Peter's office during lunch hours.

There are rumors circulating that both Peter and Kate are about to be fired.

Not sure why they haven't been fired already.

Why would they get fired?

Some of my former coworkers have asked me if I could keep an eye out for jobs for them in my new company.

Thank you for your love and compassion.

Love and blessings to you.

Wow.

Good for Joe.

Just absolutely

had it all.

Had it all planned out, I guess.

Wow.

Yeah, I feel, I don't know where to start, frankly.

Yeah, that was a whole lot so there was a lot So Joe is known for a long time and was just kind of lining everything up to just fully disappear There's so many standout moments.

There's the the him going to the police saying that my ex-girlfriend is going to report me missing.

I'm not missing.

That's he planned everything.

This is Batman with prep time.

Legit.

I'm trying to think of

what's like the, it's going to play like the born, the born identity theme song, like the Moby song.

Yeah, when he's in the water and born ultimatum and then he starts swimming away.

Yeah.

No, this guy.

The family being like, we don't know you.

We never knew you.

And then the sex in the office, like, whoa, that was.

Feels like a crime.

I don't know what the crime would be.

Yeah.

I don't think this was a situation where she's trying to get caught.

I think she's just this belligerent.

I think like because the fact that they she's saying in front of everyone like yeah, he hypnotized me and then like a couple minutes later they're just having sex and And it's

Peter feels wild, too.

Peter feels very wild.

Oh, yeah.

And he's, and Peter's behavior towards, towards John.

No, towards OP, when they were like, when he's like, yeah, get all your stuff out of here.

And they're like, oh, wait, you're actually a really bad boss and a bad person.

And then they had to bring in the grand boss.

Yeah.

It just does seem true with Reddit stories where when someone's cheating, and it's like, well, they're a good person otherwise.

And then their behavior kind of shows, oh, their behavior outside of that is also bad.

Yeah.

It's like, well, yeah,

they're capable of that.

So they're they're also capable of that.

I want to know where Joe went.

They don't feel guilty.

Some say

he's out on the open road on a hog.

I love him being like, I was being poached for a year, so I just took that opportunity.

Yeah, no, that was.

No, no, no.

This is what I was saying earlier, though, of like, this is a

ship that's heading straight for an iceberg.

Cause look at it.

They're about to lose a bunch of employees.

If you're HR, you need to go, oh, this is a huge problem.

Yeah.

I can't help but feel like OP did nothing.

No, they didn't really, they didn't do anything.

OP kind of just like was like, I think

I'm making a career shift for a while.

Okay, a little bit of a

hot take on this, maybe, maybe not.

But I understood a little bit of OP being like nervous of like, okay, maybe anonymous letter, you know, maybe tell Joe.

But they just didn't even do that.

They kind of didn't do that.

And I'm like, once you quit the job, now tell Joe.

Yeah.

Yet they were kind of saying to the grand boss, like, hey, some stuff is going on.

I know.

Some stuff is going on that's made me uncomfortable.

And the grand boss is like, I'll call you back.

And they were waiting on the call and never got it.

Yeah.

Still, though, it's like, okay, man, but you still, you quit the job.

You're talking about how great your new job is.

You don't want to like throw something to Joe.

Send him an email.

Yeah, I mean, also, Joe.

Luckily, he already knew.

Joe knowing this whole time was quite the update.

And doing this, like, grandmaster ghost was crazy.

Yeah, because you don't know, based on this company's behavior, based on this company's behavior, you don't know the grand boss was going to alert to Joe.

I keep picturing Qui-Gon Jinn.

I know.

I keep purchasing like grand boss Tarkin.

No,

the language of this is hilarious.

But I am a little disappointed in OP that it's like, okay, you're out.

You're talking about how great it is.

Just toss an email to Joe.

I cannot get over.

Yeah, he's like, well, thank God Joe already knew because I didn't have to do anything.

He's like, I don't know if Joe's being cheated on, but the brownies went over.

Whoa, what's your new cow worker?

Because imagine how epic it would have been if it's like you send an email to joe being like hey i have reason to believe like i'm leaving the company i have reason to believe because i saw this on a work call that your wife or your your fiancé or yeah your fiancé is cheating on you with with yeah peter and he just responds back just like i know i'm already working on it

he's like don't worry about this email will combust in two minutes

and your computer will explode in two minutes what

joe fuck you The police know, and they know that.

And then Joe walks away, takes off the Mission Apostle mask.

He's Peter.

And then it's, yeah.

And he's being hypnotized this whole time.

My father's been cheating on me with me.

By the grand boss.

By the grand boss.

Yeah, where's the grand boss fit into this?

Where does Ethan Hunt fit into this?

Yeah.

No, but I think if I'm OP, I'm definitely sending an email to Joe once I quit.

The fact that they didn't do anything, I'm kind of like, okay, dude.

When was the wedding happening?

I don't know.

Well, they couldn't get time off because their coworker had their um sick was going on their vacation

awesome dude yeah this is the co-worker i can't come to your wedding i have my funeral plan yeah someone at the end of a reddit stories episode connecting all the reddit stories together i can never heard of it whoops that was mean

am i the asshole i said some really mean

yeah so my co-worker you know we were on the show together and you know i thought i'd i thought i'd make a bit and i thought that joke would kill you were saying

we were saying it's it's like impossible to be cringe at this job but it just came out you found and be cringe literally it's impossible to work here

it's been so nice to hang yeah

yeah this has been great hey let's let's never um have a coworker negative experience let's never do it yeah let's never do that and next time let's actually have pancakes oh get your pancakes out let's do it we need a we need a shirt that says get your pancakes or let's actually eat pancakes during redito get your pancakes out it's time for reddit stories all right thank you for watching Thank you both for being here.

Thank you for your input.

You guys are great co-workers.

Hey, man, you're a good color.

I will say, like, this is truly not, like, this is such a silly job.

Like, I know everyone watching this are working jobs that are harder than this.

Like, I'm very aware of that.

Especially for me, I feel like I'm so lucky.

But also, everyone we work with is just so cool.

Yeah.

Like, it's such a silly place.

I saw Brennan walk away as you did that.

I was like, Brennan was like, oh, there he is.

He's flicking me off, man, dude.

We were literally playing Magic the Gathering at lunch the other day.

Like this, what, what job is this?

That's wild.

Silly.

Silly job.

Anyways, well, I hope you watching, I hope your job is okay.

I hope your coworkers are okay.

I hope, like, I, you know.

I hope you're good, bro.

I hope you're good.

And I hope you have a normal coworker who doesn't have anxiety for you to be fascinated by.

And if your coworker meows at you, don't meow back.

Don't meow back.

DNM.

We'll see you next Saturday.

Comment down below any themes or subreddits you want to see on the show we'll see you later bye bye

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