Are They Better Off? | Reading Reddit Stories

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Hello and welcome to Reddit Stories.

I'm Shane and today we've got a lot of breakup stories.

Some that aren't breakup stories, but a lot that are breakup stories.

And I'm joined by two lovely people, Trevor and Courtney.

Hello.

Hello.

We've all gone through breakups here.

Yeah.

Yeah, they suck.

Yeah.

I've heard of some people having good breakups.

that are that are amicable and fine, but I feel like

most are not good.

Most are

not fun.

Yeah, not good.

Well, we've got a bunch of breakup stories.

It's been a long time since we've done a breakup themed episode.

Hell yeah, let's get into it, brother.

All right, let's just hop in.

Let's do it, brother.

Let's do it, break up.

This first story, this comes from the Too Hot Takes podcast.

Shout out to Morgan over at Too Hot Takes, big fans.

And I'm pretty sure I've read this story before, and

I love this story.

Or maybe I'm just aware of the idea behind it.

Am I the asshole for breaking up with my boyfriend over the orange peel theory?

What is the orange peel theory?

I should make note that this was from about a year ago when the orange peel theory was a thing.

You'll hear about it soon.

What is the orange peel theory?

I was scrolling on TikTok when I saw a post about the orange peel theory, which to sum it up is when you ask another person to do a small task for you, like peeling an orange or asking them to tie your shoes for you.

Both of these are tasks that you can do by yourself.

The real test is how they respond to you.

If they respond with, you can do it yourself, can't you do that, I guess, then they are not willing to do small tasks for you and will most likely fail to do larger tasks for you in the future.

However, if they do it willingly or take the initiative to do it immediately, then they pass in a way.

Now, onto the situation.

My boyfriend of seven months was sitting on the couch when I saw the TikTok video explaining the theory, and I decided I should try to try it out.

Up to this point, we were happy, but now looking back on it, I am not surprised by how he responded.

I asked him to tie my hair up for me, and he looked at me and asked me why I couldn't do it.

At first, I thought that maybe he was intimidated by my long hair.

However, he has had long hair in the past and knew how to tie it up.

I asked him again, thinking it was just a fluke, but he told me that I could do it since I was in the kitchen and he needed to relax, stating that he just got off work.

I know what y'all are thinking.

Let that man relax, he just got off.

Y'all, he works from home, and even if he was truly tired, he has plenty of energy to play games and go out to the bar with his friends.

Regardless, I honestly didn't want to break up and thought it was dumb to throw a relationship away over a TikTok.

Well, that was until later in the day when I asked him if he could toss a towel in the dryer so I could be warm when I got out of the shower since I forgot to do it myself.

Surprise, surprise, he never did it and it just made me realize how much I do for him and his daughter that is not even mine.

I think I have fed, held, and changed her more than he has.

So Reddit, I ask you if I am the asshole if I go through with it.

So she's considering breaking up with him.

She's considering breaking up with him, but I think the title is a little misleading.

She's saying she's going to break up with him over the orange peel theory.

Right.

But she talks about the orange peel theory and then starts to go into their whole relationship and other things.

And you're not an asshole for breaking up with someone for things that have been going on your entire relationship.

If it was...

oh yeah, everything's perfect and then he failed the orange peel theory.

Yeah.

That would be different.

Yeah.

I cannot believe how much tests come up in Reddit statement.

Yeah.

People are testing their friends, testing their partners.

Yeah.

I mean,

she definitely chose things that are very different from the orange peel theory.

But, like, it is so interesting.

And I know that she like looks back on the whole relationship, but it was this test that caused her to look back on everything and switch her perspective.

And I think probably because she thought he would say yes to these things.

Yeah.

Not like, oh, I don't know if he will.

Like she thought they were good and that he would be down to tie her hair up.

I feel like I wouldn't do the hair tie one as like the first task.

That's like, I don't even know.

I wouldn't even want someone to tie my shoes for me.

Come like, you're going to tie them too tight or too loose.

There's going to be, you're going to have little shark fins coming out.

Can you imagine you're just like doing work and all of a sudden you look over and I'm standing in the hallway and I'm just like, can you tie my shoes?

Just standing there with untied shoes.

Just like, can you tie my shoes?

I would, I would tie it.

And then you're like, no.

And I'm like, wow, that's so fucked up.

I would.

I would tie your shoes if you asked me to.

If you were like, can you tie my shoes?

I'd be like,

okay.

I can't.

That's a buckle.

You failed the chest.

I would tie your guys' shoes too.

I would tie your shoes.

I'd tie your shoes.

I'd tie your shoes.

But we're not dating.

What the fuck?

No, that like threw me off.

At the start of the story, I was like, like, if, if, if Raven had asked me, like, if she was in the kitchen, I was sitting on the couch and she asked me to come put her hair up, I'd probably be like, yeah, but that's like weird that you're asking me to do that from that far away.

But then when it came to the towel thing, I'm like, oh, that's just a considerate thing.

That's a cute thing.

The towel thing is where I'm like, okay, like this is part of your regular routine.

I think the problem with some of these tests is it's people asking of something for the first time ever in their relationships.

So I think the response of like, what, what, why?

Like,

because they're confused because it's never happened before.

And the orange one, it's like, because it's so easy.

Some people can't peel an orange.

Like, I used to, I sometimes still don't know if I can.

And so to ask someone to peel it, that's like, it is like a tedious task that needs to be completed in order to like, you, you did it, you peeled an orange.

Whereas like something like tying your hair up or things, it's like, it's a little bit different.

Still, I think it's important that she saw the reactions that she got.

If this was like neglected didn't I feel like I've heard a lot worse stories on here, so I was like expecting a lot worse, but the issue I see on her end is she's talking about like yeah, you know looking at this It's very imbalanced.

I'm taking care of the their his kid.

I'm doing all these things.

Should I break up with him?

I'm like have you talk at least talked about this?

Yeah.

Because that's something you discuss of, hey, I feel there's an imbalance of what we're doing for each other.

Hey, I would like you to to be a little more considerate of me and like, you know, help me out sometimes.

But it's just kind of a,

he's gone.

There was no verdict reached on this, but we have some comments.

TikTok advice does seem a little strange, but sometimes approaching life in a different way can help take those rose-colored glasses off a relationship.

Maybe if more people took a different look at relationships, then divorce wouldn't be so high.

This coming from someone who is divorced.

Someone said, this is laughable.

I do small stuff for my husband all the time and vice versa.

But if I'm sitting comfy on the couch and then he sits down and asks me for a drink, hell no, get it yourself.

Having a relationship is not doing every little thing your partner asks when they ask.

True.

You're the asshole for taking relationship advice from TikTok.

You're the asshole for testing your boyfriend.

Yes, couples do little things for each other and it is healthy and makes a good relationship.

Manufacturing scenarios to manipulate someone into fetching and caring for you to demonstrate how committed they are to you is not healthy.

You are not royalty.

You are not beneath these tasks.

It reflects more on you that you expect someone to tie your shoes when you are perfectly capable of it than it says about your boyfriend when he says, what now?

Yeah, I totally see all of that.

And I do think if you're testing your partner, you're coming from a place of like distrust already.

And if you have distrust, you need to talk about that.

You don't test that.

Yeah.

I never even considered like even doing that kind of a challenge or test because I'm like, well, I already know like that he would.

Like it's not like, I feel like it is already like there's like a, yeah like the

base layer

of trust yeah so like if there's if you're it's a layer of insecurity that's probably already there I think this just it it probably confirmed some fears for her and like regardless of how it happened like if she realized she's not happy in this relationship and if she's taking care of someone else's kid and this little test helped her realize that like it sucks that he she used a test because I agree like whenever tests and challenges are happening it's weird.

Yeah.

This challenge I felt was like super innocent, but it can bring out a reality that you weren't expecting.

I think if you're testing it from a place of like, there's really a problem and I'm gonna have a problem with the result.

I'm like, I think you're, I think you're missing the mark by doing it.

Yeah.

You know, if it some couples, if you have the type of relationship where it's gonna be cool, if you're doing it for fun as more of like a prank type of thing, that's different, but she's coming from a real place.

And it's just like, what, what are you doing?

I don't know.

That's kind of my, if a friend of mine came to me and was like, yeah, I'm feeling like there's an imbalance in our relationship.

I'm gonna do this test.

I'm gonna be like, you should just break up.

Yeah.

But if you're getting to the point where you're really genuinely testing your partner based on stuff you're coming across on the internet, just break up.

Like, what are you doing?

Or have a real conversation.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

That's how you solve.

That's how you solve things.

Update.

I was all expecting one.

All right, I know.

Hello again, Reddit.

Fast update for you guys.

First, I would like to thank you for how brutally honest the comments were.

And no, I am not 12, I am 22.

I would also like to clear some things up.

First off, I didn't mean to make it seem like I was testing him like a crazy girlfriend who sets her boyfriend up for failure.

I simply used the theory to see what he would do out of curiosity and came to the realization that I was giving 90% while he was giving 30% into the relationship.

Yeah.

I mean, that's 120% relationship right there.

Yeah.

But their relationship just goes really hard.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The theory helped me take off my rose-colored tinted glasses and truly see just how much I was doing without an ounce of appreciation.

As for the ones saying that they would also refuse the small task as well, this simply does not apply to me.

If my partner asked me to tie his shoes, I would be down on one knee because I feel like it is a simple way to show love.

Previously, I had never asked him to do something that I could do myself since I am relatively independent.

This was not the case for him since he uses me for almost everything.

Babysitter when he goes out, nighttime nanny, chef, cleaner, washing machine, chauffeur, etc.

As I took time to read the comments, there was a lot of reflecting and I knew I had to talk to him and give him a chance to work this imbalance out.

I texted him and told him we needed to talk and he asked me for a ride to my house since his mom was out.

I picked him up but to my surprise he had his baby so I asked him if he could just stay in the driveway and talk.

He told me that he was hoping we could talk on the way.

When I asked him on the way to what, he told me that his buddy wanted to meet up for drinks and I just lost it and told him to get out of my car.

I just let out everything I was thinking and feeling.

He looked very confused, but then changed his tune and started blaming me, saying that I waited too long to tell him this and that his daughter is already bonded to me.

She is around one.

I'm not sure what to do.

I went home and my phone was filled with messages from his mom saying that I needed to step up and be a good mom and future wife.

The thing is, I don't want to be either.

Lastly, I know you guys don't like the orange peel theory, but I think I dodged a bullet.

Or for the ones who feel bad for him, he dodged a bullet.

Oof.

Clearly,

I mean, clearly they shouldn't be together.

I mean, that seems to be the case here.

I don't know.

This just feels like, it feels like she's 22 and figuring out who she is.

Yeah.

And it's also like, you know, what she's also kind of describing, I mean, in a very weird, unhealthy like way, is love languages.

It's like, okay, you're talking about how acts of service are very important to you.

That's something to know when you're getting into a relationship.

But it sounds like she, it sounds like they had no communication and they got to this point, and then she's unloading how she feels about him this whole time.

I think it'll be good for both of them to break up, sadly,

because this just sounds like a lot.

They need to communicate.

Yeah, it sounds like everything that needed to happen.

Yeah.

You know.

Tests suck.

Exhibit A.

Yeah.

It sounds to me almost like from the beginning she wanted to break up with him.

You know, it just didn't sound like she liked him from the start.

Yeah.

It just sounded unhealthy and immature all around.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I don't even know what to say.

Yeah, that's like being 22 and like being with someone who has a kid.

And yeah, then like just the expectation from the guy and his mom that you're just going to be the child's mother.

Yeah.

Like, they can't have been together for, you know, more than a year.

Right.

Yeah.

This sounds like an inevitable breakup.

Like if I met these people and they were talking about their relationship, I'd be like, this isn't going to last.

Like sadly, it's just

seems like a lot.

Yeah, and I can sympathize with her because like I've been in a relationship where suddenly you'll see yourself in the mirror and you're like, oh my God, I'm this guy's mom.

Like next thing, just because of small boundaries are pushed or small patterns become bigger and bigger and then suddenly you're doing their dishes and everything and like you don't even realize when it started so like this test probably yeah like took off the rose-colored glasses for sure for sure um

yeah they were just on different paths they just weren't compatible yeah and i think how she went about all this shows like she's she's an immature person like and and she needs to grow more too and and um

So the means in which we got to this breakup,

one thing, but but they're broken up, and I think that's probably for the best.

Yeah.

And hopefully in her next relationship, she communicates what she is seeking in a relationship before it gets to this point.

Yeah, knows what to look for way earlier on.

Right.

Yeah.

Well,

I like unloosen my shoes.

Tie it.

Tie my shoes.

Okay, I tie your shoes together.

Everyone fights over tying my shoes.

I think this is a really good topic, though, because we're talking about how TikTok influences relationships.

I also think it's how social media influences relationships because,

and I try not to do this, but I think so many people online are just

putting the camera in front of their face and telling people how their relationship should be.

And it's like, hey, man, like, take everything you see on social media with a grain of salt.

If it resonates with you, cool, but...

It's just some person.

They might just be saying something random, but it really impacts a lot of relationships.

And

it's a lot.

Yeah, it makes me think of that movie eighth grade, how the main character, she's like, how to be confident, how to do all this stuff.

And like, when you see her reality, it's like, not that.

And so I try, that's how I take a lot of content creators with a grain of salt because it's like they're being so passionate, giving you advice sometimes.

Yeah.

And like, I'm just like, that's, they don't know me.

Like, I didn't, you know?

Yeah.

No, because you'll come across, there's so many like

on sides that I've seen in the past of like like dudes who are like ways to know she's cheating on you or ways to know like your relationship isn't gonna work it's just like I'm like who are you what are you what are you saying and I don't know I think it's very important to

there is good advice out there and there is legitimate you know guidelines and and thought processes but you got to make sure what you're getting it from is from like someone who's like a professional who's got like research behind it and then otherwise it's like communicate with your partner if something doesn't feel right talk to them.

And if you're not happy with how that communication's going, that's that's the sign.

Yeah.

There's like, I feel like with so many things on the internet, like, yeah, there can be good stuff out there, but you really do have to like make sure you're seeing it through the right lens.

And if you're not feeling happy in a relationship and yeah, like you're not going to your partner and you're going to TikTok instead to then find more things to potentially be upset about, that is just not the healthy way of doing it.

It's kind of that test you can do where you can Google something and if you Google it the right way, you'll get the results you want.

You know, it's like, is this in a relationship good?

And you'll find like an article about like why it's good.

And it's like, is this in a relationship bad?

And then you'll find another article saying why it's bad.

You can just confirm your own thoughts.

Yeah, I think social media also like just creates unrealistic standards in general of like remembering that advice that's being shouted at you or shown shown to you, taking it with a grain of salt, but also like even things that aren't being explicitly like said to us, we're taking in and comparing ourselves, and that can make things really tough.

I think that's like, that's like, I feel like even more what the orange peeling challenge was, where it's like, oh my god, seeing a video of,

look how cute this was.

My boyfriend peeled it for me, or then the flip where it's like, oh my god, he didn't, and it turned into a horrible argument.

And like, and a lot of words are fake.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So many are fake.

So many people are doing bits out there.

Don't know what's real and what's what's not.

Imagine doing a bit.

Oh my god.

Yeah.

We never do bits.

Never do bits.

Couldn't be me.

Bits couldn't be me.

Everything's fully 100% real.

Yeah.

No.

And never a bit.

All right, our next story.

Am I the asshole if I break up with my fiancé after she showed a startling change of behavior after getting engaged?

This is a 32-year-old man.

I just recently proposed to my girlfriend of two years, Sharon, who's 30 years old, like a month and a half ago, and it feels like the second the ring got on her finger, her attitude and behavior took a total 180.

The entire time we were dating, we seemed exceptionally compatible, and at least it seemed we shared common beliefs and morals.

Seven weeks ago, I proposed and she said yes, and I felt like it was the happiest moment for the two of us.

But not even a week later, it's like her attitude totally flipped.

I thought I knew all her friends, but one day I came home and there were six women I've never seen before, and Sharon introduced me to them.

I was curious as to why I was just now meeting them when I already met Sharon's two best friends, Michelle and Octavia, both not present.

Over a year and a half ago, Sharon said she wanted to make sure we were a sure thing before I met her inner circle.

I found this strange, not to mention it was a weeknight and they were quickly draining my wine rack of wine.

Sharon still had her own place, but she stayed with me so often she practically lived here.

Still, I found it incredibly rude when they left with four empty bottles of rosé in their wake.

I tried to talk to Sharon about having uninvited guests on weeknights, and she dismissed my grievance very flippantly.

More than that, she brushed me off.

The following week, she went out with the girls several times, and when she brought the girls to my place, twice without notice, once with notice to appease me, her words, they all treated me like a butler, shaking their empty wine glasses at me for refills.

After the fourth time, I made it clear that I will get a locked wine rack.

Sharon just called me no fun after that.

It gets worse.

Sharon decided me and the girls got off on the wrong foot and said we should have dinner together at a nice restaurant.

Well, I went and it was not great.

The six kept prodding me about my life, my house, my career, but deflected every question I asked.

It got especially bad at night when they started talking about modern relationships and jealousy, and one of them brought up some key points about relationships that I thought Sharon and I were on the same page about, specifically what-ifs regarding polyamory and being friends with exes.

To my shock, Sharon said we shouldn't be too hasty on such decisions, which was a total 180 to how she expressed herself on these things only a month prior, where she was vehemently against keeping ex-intimate partners in friends circles and was staunchly monogamous.

The worst part was when the bill arrived.

Sharon announced it should be together and slid me the check.

I told her she can't be serious and we got into a bit of an argument.

I ended it by putting my amount down in cash and walked out, leaving them to figure out the rest of the bill.

The next few days after that, Sharon kept calling me toxic and fragile, but every time I even pushed at it, she would give an apology and promise she was just stressed at work.

It's nuts.

We haven't even planned the the wedding yet.

The worst part was this Monday.

When at work, I got a nest doorbell alert, checked and saw Sharon and one of her six new friends arriving at my place, going in and exiting with my golf clubs.

This set was a gift from my father, and it cost a pretty penny too.

So Sharon lending it out without my permission got me pissed.

I told her the club's cost would move it into a serious crime, and she and her friend had an hour to return them or the cops would be called.

Sharon kept insisting she got my permission and I told her to cut the crap.

Well, not 45 minutes later, I got another notification of Sharon and her friend coming back with the clubs and going inside, leaving them.

Sharon's friend flipping off the nest doorbell on the way out.

I got home and saw Sharon's friend literally just threw the clubs and bag on the living room floor.

Sharon tried to talk to me about my toxicity again, and I told her again to cut the crap.

I said if I knew this was how she was, I would have never proposed.

That seemed to freak her out and she again insisted that she was stressed from work, but I wasn't buying it anymore.

I told her to return the ring and her key and we would talk about our relationship this weekend.

She cried and begged me to not cancel the engagement and insisted that it was just stress.

I told her again we will talk about it this weekend.

She finally relented.

I had my house re-keyed anyway after she left just to be safe.

Sharon has been texting me constant messages of love and apologies for getting swept up and insisted she was only wanting to show me off to her close friends.

I don't know.

I'm just not buying it.

The same close friends have been sending me texts daily calling me toxic and fragile again, saying they knew I wasn't man enough for Sharon or secure enough to share her with friends.

A few of my friends that knew Sharon the entire two years we were dating were surprised and can't believe she turned hide this quick and that there must be something missing or that I am leaving something out.

They say I must have said something to trigger her friends to act like this and I had to have been the asshole somewhere along the process.

I don't know.

It's a lot to take from all directions right now.

What the frick?

Is that the end of that one?

Yeah.

Oh my god.

Dude.

That is.

What a shift.

I have sort of personal experience with something similar to this,

where

an ex and I kind of made like a, like one of those leaps in a relationship.

We made like, okay, like, it was kind of like moving in together.

And I saw a big change then.

And in hindsight, my interpretation was like, it's kind of like one of those fear moments where you're like, oh shit, is this what my life, like, am I ready for this in my life?

Whatever.

And you kind of like sabotage your life

i think this this sounds to me

a little like self-sabotage or maybe not but it just

maybe she got scared that she's engaged in trying i don't know this is i truly don't know this is weird i mean it's super common and you get to see bits of it in a lot of those reality shows that are so obsessive with marriage, like the ultimatum and Love is Blind and stuff, where like marriage is this like pinnacle like this is the thing and it is it matters so much like

and it it can cause a change in perspective I think for a person where suddenly they got to be thinking about all this stuff and I think you know it it it sounds so abrupt and like when the friends come over and they're like treating him like a butler, like I've seen that before and I think sometimes the group mentality can kind of get a a little overbearing and it can really kind of objectify and put the the the the fiancé in like an uncomfortable position that he's like he's like because I've seen partners be like oh yeah I'm down to like help you guys I'm down to be like your butler for your girls night and stuff but

it and then it's just but it doesn't sync up at all with what she's saying where she's like I just wanted to show you off to my friends while she's also no I'm seeing if you're worthy like you shouldn't have said yes if you weren't sure he was worthy right yeah this feels like you're counteract like you're doing things you should have done before.

Yeah, like this would all.

You should have never done most of this, but.

It sounds like they were a lot on the same page in a lot of ways.

I wonder if they had a marriage talk or an engagement discussion ahead of this, because I feel like that, I feel like would have,

I don't know, it sounds like they didn't.

And they also don't live together.

And so it's like, this is their first big leap.

Like from one thing, you know, because often for couples, moving in together is like the first big leap.

um and then it's proposal and stuff being with someone for two years and not knowing about six people that like exist in a significant way in their life i would lose my mind like how does that like

how does that happen how do you keep six people away from someone like that just seems that's insane that's enough i think i think there's several moments and i'm

I don't say these types of things lightly.

Like, I think it's communications important and like not just being like i'm done whatever but there's several things that happened in this room like yeah that'd probably be enough to take the ring back one is here's six of my here's my inner circle i've never introduced you to i'd be like yeah like you got your own illuminati yeah oh my god like so you don't trust me or like i also think it's weird like i think it's important for you to introduce people to your friends even just as the relationship is getting more serious long before the engagement it's weird that she separated all her women friends from her boyfriend and then treating him a certain way, taking his stuff.

It just feels like she's really like pushed, like putting him down a lot.

Oh, yeah, she's treating him like shit.

And another one that I think is an immediate pullback that ring is he's like, we had discussions about monogamy and polyamory, and suddenly at dinner, she's kind of sounding different.

She's going, well, I don't want to be hasty on those decisions.

Like, well, then we shouldn't get married if we have different views on.

marriage.

Like, that's a big thing that you need to be in like agreement agreement on.

Suddenly she's like, well, I don't know.

It almost feels like, because I definitely, you know, I've had those times in my life where I have like friends that I act a certain way around, you know, friends that I'm stupider around, that I'm dumber around.

And like, I don't know, maybe it's a very just like extreme case of she's like, I have this group of friends that, and this is like my wild side or whatever, that like, she was like, I genuinely don't know if you would want to be with me if you knew that side of my life.

And then as soon as she got the ring on, she's like, okay, I can finally like have that part of my my life now be introduced to you.

Yeah.

She thought it was, you know, set in stone.

That's a, that's a, that's very likely just that, I mean, she held back on so much of who she was.

That's why I think they didn't have the engagement discussion.

Because I feel like if they were like going to be like, okay, so like, this is it.

Like, we're, this is us.

Like, we want to be together.

And so maybe this will happen sometime.

And that's what I'm saying.

I think you think the proposal was like a complete surprise to her.

Like, yeah, I feel like like it sounds like they were like on paper very compatible, had similar morals.

So he was like, yeah, like, let's just, I'll propose to her.

And yeah, I was literally going to say the same thing.

I think it's a big red flag when I'm like dating somebody and they are so different with me, with just me, than with their friends.

Yeah.

And yeah, I think, but I think it's okay when you, like, yeah, because I have different, I'm a Gemini.

I'm a freaking chameleon.

I have different like demeanors around different people.

But to have

different fundamental

moral values depending on who you're around is

big red flags.

So much can change depending on who you're hanging out with.

I think we see that a lot even in Smosh.

Depending on who's in videos, you get such a different vibe.

But your level of respect should stay the same.

And it's a red flag to me that it's like, oh, well, around some people, you're just going to suddenly.

treat me like shit.

It's like, then we're not doing this because I don't know what's going to happen now.

And And it sounds like he said his, like, he tried to set that boundary and have that discussion a few times with her.

Yeah.

And I don't, I don't love that she's just like, oh, I'm stressed at work.

It's like, that's not an excuse.

Like, I'm stressed at work, so sorry I stole your golf clubs and then threw them on the ground.

What?

At first, I thought I was like, oh, no, he doesn't realize like the bridesmaid stuff is starting to happen.

But like,

he's like, no, we haven't even started planning the wedding yet.

And that's, that's a, you know.

Yeah.

Interesting.

There's also the possibility that she knew or was hesitant because she knew how terrible her friends are and was afraid to introduce them to him.

But

you know, like you and your partner are a freaking team and you tell that to them and be like, hey, I don't know about my friends.

Like if you're willing to marry, like marry your friends if you want to be closer to them than your literal life partner that you're about to legally be bound to.

You need like that's that's what's so great about having a partner like that is you guys ride together and you be honest about that stuff.

And so I, yeah, that would suck if that was the case.

Some comments.

Not the asshole.

You said you had met two of her friends, Michelle and Octavia, previously.

Have they had anything to say about this flipped behavior or the six strangers that materialized?

OP said, I did message Michelle on Facebook last night.

I asked her about the six and she told me that her, Octavia, and Sharon are cousins and grew up together.

Michelle said that she didn't really care for the six, but didn't say much else.

The six?

The ridiculous six.

The sinister six.

The six, the ridiculous six.

Two years and she didn't introduce you to these friends.

She knows how terrible they are and how terrible she is with them.

She put on quite a show to get the ring and now that she thought she had you locked down, she can show her true colors.

Unless you are leaving out something, you are definitely not the asshole.

You are not toxic or fragile.

You have standards.

What she did at the restaurant and with the clubs is toxic.

It seems like she wants to show them she has you wrapped around her finger and that you will allow her and them to do whatever they want.

I wouldn't give her another chance to use you for what you can do or give to her.

No one that loves you would treat you like this, friends or no friends present.

Tell her you're too stressed from work to talk about your relationship right now.

It sounds like this is a toxic group of frenemies she has that constantly try to one-up each other.

And I bet that this group of friends has been the end of all previous relationships.

So she learned to keep them hidden.

They're all good theories.

I mean, to me, it kind of doesn't matter.

Like,

the reasoning behind it is one thing, but the act is there.

And if you're willing to treat your partner with that much disrespect.

Yeah, and I listen, I get it.

Like, when you have friends that you've been friends with for a long, long time, you're going to trust them more than maybe your partner that you've not been with as long as you've known your friends.

I feel like I've seen it a lot, and we've read stories like this on the show where like marriage is where people think that they can settle down and be their real self or then then start to test boundaries and see like you know like there's just so many relationships where it's like there's just a series of just testing your boundaries and seeing what they're they're able to get away with or or it and that a lot of cases it is self-sabotage where it's like i don't know if i'm worthy of this so i i need to just show like let like literally again push boundaries with with what I believe is my is are my issues, you know?

Yeah.

Look, and peer pressure is a real big thing.

It's it's super impactful.

She's 30, though.

And like, as if this guy's right, this comment of like, oh, it's probably been the end of all of her previous relationships, like this group of gross friends.

Even her cousins are like, yeah, we're not fans of those people.

Yeah, wow.

I feel like your 20s, like the difference between your early 20s and late 20s for me was like you kind of drift away from the people you realize are not influencing you in a good way or are pushing you towards making bad decisions or disrespecting you and pushing you to be disrespectful because that's going to cause you to be lonely.

It's going to make your life toxic.

She's 30 years old.

She's too old to be like being influenced on that level, like is my, is my view.

And disrespect is a choice.

I mean, she, I get it, you're stressed from work, but you're still making, you're making decisions.

Yeah.

And regardless of her age, it's like how long they've been together and stuff, like what their trust that they've built with each other.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And yeah.

It's hard because they're just existing in an echo chamber now of like those friends and they're talking about things and they're just affirming the same things.

It's a dance.

It's a real dance.

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Come and get yours saturdays only at hard rock hotel and casino sacramento at fire mountain all right that group mentality uh yeah group polarization is such a real thing where like in in a group of like-minded individuals a small belief can become a big belief and you can all believe it and you go yeah no this is what he should be doing yeah and this is how he should be treating you it's like yeah and it's like it's easy and it kind of like spirals upward to this insane thing yeah like maybe the second she told those friends they were like, then they started kind of asking all these questions.

Like, well, is he willing to do this?

Well, well, is it about this?

Well, you're going to have to do this.

You're going to have to test him with this and this.

And then all these friends are like, and when it's six people that you really trust all having that opinion, you want to just trust what they're saying.

Yeah.

I don't think that makes her like.

like the victim in this situation.

I think it's just a like.

No, it's a real thing that happens, but she still disrespected him.

Yeah.

Update.

Sharon's been gone now for an hour.

Breakup is official.

I have the ring back.

I did talk to Michelle via Facebook, and Michelle said her and Octavia were cousins of Sharon, and Michelle also said she knew the six and didn't care for them.

Michelle didn't say much more than that.

I did meet Sharon's parents, and they both seemed to like me, and the topic of Michelle and Octavia never came up around them.

None of our finances were intermingled yet, but it was planned for later this month, which won't happen.

I invited three of our mutual friends, Casey, John, and Mike, to be here when Sharon got here.

Sharon showed up and was surprised to see we had company.

I said they were here for both of our sakes.

Sharon wanted to phone three of the six to come over to even things out.

To fight.

And I, yeah.

And I refused.

And I used the club theft as a reason.

Sharon sat on the couch very dramatically and then asked if I really wanted to make this public.

I outright asked why she changed so much after the engagement and why she hid the existence of the six.

Sharon then went in again about how she insulates her inner circle until a partner is vetted.

I called BS.

I met her parents.

What's more inner circle than your parents?

Sharon tried to deflect, but I wouldn't have it.

I pointed out how for the last month, her friends dropping by cost me nearly $500 in wine, which she, by the way, made no attempts to reimburse.

I also pointed out her trying to make me pay an eight-person dinner bill without asking me first.

She again said she wanted to show how great of a guy I was and how she clearly misjudged me and was disappointed in my attitude.

I then asked about the clubs.

She tried gaslighting with, you totally said it was okay, remember?

And I kept saying bullshit.

Mike piped in, he knew the clubs were a gift from my dad and I was highly protective of them.

He too called BS and that's when Sharon turned her attention to Mike and John saying, isn't he getting forgetful lately?

Don't you remember when he forgot that one date and neither was buying it?

I finally said that forget postponing the wedding or canceling the engagement.

The entire relationship is going to end if she isn't going to be straight with me.

Sharon made a very long exaggerated sigh.

She took the ring off and dropped it on the coffee table.

She got up to leave and said, you're never going to find someone as good as me and to send her stuff to her apartment.

She left and Casey, John, and Mike were totally stunned.

All I could say was, believe me now.

We ordered pizza and are waiting for it to arrive now.

I am still utterly shocked and confused by Sharon's attitude.

I'm sure the heartbreak will come next, but right now I'm just kind of numb.

Well, I mean, if

everything that he wrote is to be believed, then yeah, her personality flipped.

It was a 180.

A complete 180.

I've heard about these things happening, like personality flips,

and they always kind of baffle me.

This is when I'm really curious in the comments what people's theories are, because to me, this just feels, it feels like cartoonish.

I mean, we've read Reddit stories on here where like a guy, like they get married and suddenly he just starts being the complete opposite.

And it truly is about like locking somebody down.

They're suddenly comfortable.

And it's like suddenly, no, you're my trad wife now, like

hardcore.

It's hard for me to grasp because I've just never thought that way.

Like I've never thought the way of like, oh, we're in now.

I can do whatever.

Like I don't know, I guess, but I'm a very anxious person.

I'm a person who feels like I'm always, I'm a people pleaser.

So that type of behavior is just foreign to me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, I could see the side of like.

Getting a bunch of your friends.

He said mutual friends, but getting some of your friends and surprising them with the breakup.

I didn't,

I'm curious what people think.

I don't think that was necessary.

It felt like the answer was to break up with her already, but.

When you're feeling uncomfortable and you want support and he got support that he actually needed, I think that's good.

I think she was within her rights to have somebody with her, but I'm just like, literally, a brawl is going to happen.

Let's be careful here.

And also at the start, he was saying that his friends were going like,

he must have said something.

They were having a hard time believing it.

They were like, yeah, you must have done something along the way.

Because at the end, he's like, are you believing me now?

Right.

So he did feel gaslighted.

So he went about it this way.

Either way, it sounds like.

I do know if I had walked into an apartment to like someone that I was, like a guy I was having a fight with and he had two other dudes with him, I'd be like, oh no,

I'm out.

Like, that's just scary.

But yeah, I mean, she was surprising him with six.

of her friends.

True, in his home.

And that's a lot of wine.

Yeah.

I mean, if you're getting to a point in a relationship where you are throwing volleys back and forth of like well i'm gonna do this now it's over but uh so i think it's at the end of the day it's good they broke up also

of course oh my god um shocking like i said i'm so curious what the people in the comments think uh is the reason for this personality flip because it blows my mind

No, I mean, I do, there is like one instance in my life where I know somebody personally who had an insane personality flip, like honestly, this, but maybe like five times bigger, like that level and so like it's happened before and it is there's I we still don't like have an explanation for I still don't like sometimes you just don't know it's like really scary just change

and yeah it is scary but sometimes that's just how it happens yeah it's never gonna be that that I can say I've I've experienced similar and it's just like okay

it's not going to be easy, especially when

you're really close with somebody and suddenly it's like, oh, I think we have different views now.

Like, yeah, I can relate to that.

Our next story.

Am I the asshole for hooking up with a married woman and causing her divorce?

Hmm.

Huh.

Hmm.

Hmm.

I need to read more.

Let's hear his side.

I, a 21-year-old man, have been hooking up with a woman, 32, for about six months.

It started as something casual.

We met through a mutual friend at a party, hit it off, and things escalated from there.

I knew she was married, but she told me that she was in an unhappy marriage and was planning to leave her husband.

She made it sound like the divorce was already a done deal, so I didn't feel too guilty about it.

We continued seeing each other mostly late at night or during the time she said her husband was out of town.

I'll admit, it was exciting at first.

I was young, she was older, and it felt like something out of a movie.

But things started getting serious when she began texting me constantly and wanting to spend more time together.

She would vent about how terrible her husband was and how she couldn't wait to be free from him.

A few weeks ago, her husband found out about us.

He was devastated and immediately filed for divorce.

She called me in tears, blaming me for everything.

She said that if it weren't for me, her husband wouldn't have left her and that now she has nowhere to go and nothing to her name.

She even suggested that I should take responsibility and help her out since I ruined her life.

She has two kids, a 10-year-old son, and a seven-year-old daughter.

She claims that her husband is going to fight for full custody and that it's all my fault that her kids might end up living with him instead of her.

She says that because of me, her life is falling apart and her children might grow up without their mother around.

I feel bad about the situation, but I also think it's unfair for her to put all this blame on me.

I never forced her to cheat, and I wasn't the one who filed for divorce.

I'm also not in a position to support her financially or emotionally.

I'm still trying to figure out my own life.

So, am I the asshole for hooking up with a married woman and causing her divorce knowing she had kids?

Whoa!

You added that detail at the end.

Whoa, whoa.

He didn't say he knew she had kids at the start.

Okay,

I'll put it out there.

The verdict was everyone sucks here.

We rarely get those verdicts.

Yeah.

Everyone sucks here.

The old esh.

The old esh.

The old esh.

Got the old esh on this one.

This one.

Yeah, this sounds like a plotline of an HBO show.

Yeah.

Where everyone always sucks.

If you are

knowingly being

a mistress, you know, I don't know what the gender neutral term to that.

Mistress so

if you're mysterious

with someone that you know is married, like you're objectively, I think that that's that's not a good thing to do.

I think everyone agrees like that's not a good thing.

Yeah, if you just if you want to avoid an absolute mess, you need to like, I feel like the way he explained how she talked about her current situation, she never used the word separated, but was like, yeah, like it's basically over.

I would have been like, are you separated?

And if she'd be like, well, no, I'd be like, okay, well, when you are, I'm here because it's just, I feel like it's a meme at this point.

It's never actually over.

They're never actually basically divorced.

It's always like this mess.

Yeah, because, you know, in this situation, this, you're dealing with an untrustworthy person, right?

You already know that she's in a relationship.

So she's already lying to someone.

You're expecting that she's telling you the truth.

And it's like, and then you're shocked when it's like, oh, she was lying to me too.

It's like, yeah,

she sounds like a liar.

That's what she's doing right now.

You know, in this situation, if I was like his buddy and he was like, yeah, I hooked up with this woman and she's married and she said she's going to divorce her husband.

I'd be like, okay, cool.

You should tell her like, you'll then talk once that divorce is done.

Because it's not just...

that it's wrong, like there's the wrongness of cheating.

There's also in the situation of if someone's like, oh, I'm the other person, I'm like, that's also a stupid situation to get into.

Yeah.

It's wrong, but it's also frankly dangerous and just a mess.

You're going to end up in a mess and it's not worth it, man.

You're a 21-year-old dude.

Go hook up with someone else.

Yeah.

Like, just find something that's not going to be as complicated as that.

I do think it's kind of funny how she was like, oh, I really like you so much.

I can't wait

for this marriage to be over.

Oh, either.

She's like, it's over.

No,

it's over.

It's your fault.

Like, it's crazy.

It's, it's, that's, that's wild to me.

Yeah.

Bro, yeah, no, I could never do what this guy did because, like, knowing someone has kids too,

just like, oh, like.

I'm so curious, like, what that dynamic is too.

Cause what did she, did you say she was 32?

Like, there's an 11

gap.

Yeah.

Like, that's got to be such, like, I don't know, a 21-year-old kid who like doesn't know any better getting into a situation like that.

Like for sure, I obviously like you know, he's not doing the right thing, but like

God, yeah, I can't imagine being him in that situation being like, oh, yeah, like maybe this will happen.

Like she is gonna like

she could be far more manipulative than we know.

There's a lot of details that we don't have.

It's it's we met through a mutual friend at a party, hit it off, and things escalated from there.

Well, yeah, that's all we know.

I was thinking like in when it's any kind of cheating, it's it's like it's not like a responsible, long, well-thought-out planned thing.

Like, so regardless, like, so, okay, was she going to leave her husband?

And then this OP, were you going to be the father of these kids?

Like, was that what you were like planning?

Like,

there was no plan.

I think he was just.

Maybe I'm misreading.

I think he's just having fun.

Yeah.

Maybe I'm misreading.

Yeah, because he said, I'm not emotionally available at the end there.

And I was like, oh, that's a big one to draw.

Okay, yeah.

So she has two kids: 10-year-old son and a seven-year-old daughter.

She's 32.

So she had her first kid when she was his age.

So this almost feels like a and he's like this.

Yeah, no, it's a whole mess.

Look, let's be clear, everyone sucks here, but like, she is

this is insane on her part, and it's it's really gross on top of it.

Like, yeah, you think about it, it's like you're doing something.

It's not quite the age gap, and yeah, when you have, like, it's just like there's a lot, there's a lot to unpack there.

Yeah, this is this is unbelievable

behavior.

And then extra unbelievable.

It always blows my mind when people cheat.

And then when they're caught,

they're like, I can't believe this is happening.

You're ruining my life.

I'm like,

at least take responsibility for it.

Yeah.

Like, if someone cheats, at least if you're caught, it's like, you know what?

I did this.

I did this.

I think she couldn't handle the guilt of what she did.

And so it's so easy to just like blame the other guy.

Yeah.

She totally blew up her life.

Yeah.

Like 100%.

And, you know,

like I say with so many stories, yeah, her reasoning is one thing, but your actions are there and they're final.

Like if you're having a crisis, if you're regretting this, this life you got into at a very young age,

then, but get divorced and then do this.

Don't do this.

I don't know.

Yeah, I mean, it's obvious she was whatever is going on in her marriage, we don't know, but she was trying to find some sort of emotional or physical escape in some way.

Like she was unhappy in some way.

But yeah, it's obvious that it seemed like she wanted both to continue on

and just kind of like keep them separate.

Yeah, you know, hopefully.

Oh, totally.

You're so right.

Yeah.

Like it was very much she

was devastated that the marriage ended.

So when and then when she kind of pivoted and blamed him and was like, I can't believe it's over.

It's all your fault.

It's like that was kind of like her real cards being shown of like, oh she was never planning to end that relationship that marriage going on for six months yeah at i that's an affair that's all i do think after six months you should be like she's not getting divorced like and yeah she wanted to get away with this forever um and it seems like a lot of people who cheat that is what they tend to do they're it becomes a thing of like

Yeah, and it's like, if you obviously doesn't sound like he was like in this for the long haul.

No.

I think it's six months.

Buddy, get out.

Just go.

Yeah.

Crazy.

Comments.

Don't get me wrong.

You're absolutely an asshole, but she's the one that causes her divorce, not you.

She's putting all the blame on you because shitty people don't take responsibility for their decisions.

Everyone sucks here.

Yeah.

Everyone sucks here except the husband.

You're an idiot who was sleeping with someone you knew was married.

She decided she needs some young side dick.

Karma got her.

You'll get yours eventually.

Young side dick.

Yeah, I feel like the stigma of like the other woman gets a lot, a lot of like negativity, which obviously cheating in general is bad, but I feel like as a guy, maybe he felt like it's like, I don't know, I'm just kind of here.

Totally.

Yeah, the same, the same connotation, I don't think is there, you know, for a lot of dudes.

Lastly, someone said, Knowingly having an affair with someone who is married automatically makes you the asshole.

Granted, she's the much bigger asshole, but you're the asshole too.

That's very much how I see this.

Yeah.

Are we ready for our next story?

Um,

yeah.

I'm thinking I am.

Yeah, I think I'm pretty ready.

Yeah, I knew we should do it.

Our next story.

Am I the asshole for considering breaking up with my fiancé because he ran away when we were being attacked?

Is your fiancé Jerry from Rick and Morty?

Oh my god, I thought you were gonna say Jerry from Tom and Jerry.

No.

The first image that popped into my head is just like a raccoon or something, like chasing him, and he's just sprinkling away.

He pushes her towards him.

Okay, my fiancé, a 24-year-old man, and I, a 24-year-old woman, have been dating for six years.

He proposed to me a few months ago, which was the happiest moment of my life.

We set our wedding date for this December.

However, after what happened last night, I am seriously considering breaking up with my fiancé and I'm unsure if I am an asshole.

My fiancé, my brother, and I were all walking back to our car from dinner at a nice restaurant.

The car was parked pretty far away as the place was packed, so we had to walk quite some distance.

It was late at night, and as we were walking, a person on a bike came up to us and stopped us and demanded we give them everything we had.

My fiancé panicked and just ran away, but my brother talked to the man for a couple of minutes and ended up beating him up.

Hey man, um

so what's going on here?

Oh my god.

Hey, I gotta beat you up now man.

That's crazy.

The man had no weapon.

It was just a fake gun.

I called my fiancé after that and told him everything was fine and that we would pick him up.

My fiancé still seemed a bit shaken, but I explained to him everything was was alright and my fiancé thanked my brother.

However, I still feel extremely weird and sort of disappointed that my fiancé just ran away.

I understand it was his natural instinct, but seeing my brother take the attacker down in comparison to my fiancé just running away, I feel like I lost a lot of love for my fiancé after last night.

She got the ick.

I spoke with my brother this morning to get his opinion and he said I should still give my fiancé a chance and that my fiancé loves me and what happened last night is not a normal occurrence.

I told him I got a massive ick and I don't think this ick will ever go away.

Am I the asshole?

Oh my gosh.

Oh, that's so crazy.

You know what's so crazy is I have actually had this thought before where I'm worried about the day that comes when I have to, when I have to step up and be a man.

Like I'm serious.

Like I'm not a confrontational person.

I'm not a violent person.

But sometimes I think I was like if there's gonna come a day maybe at some point when I have to like, when I, when something happens to Raven and I got to, you know, hopefully punches won't have to be thrown.

But when I just stand up and I'm like, I hope when that time comes, you know, I can find it within him.

Yeah, you just have to like mentally like gas yourself up.

a little bit every day.

Yeah, yeah.

So that when it does happen, like you are ready for this moment.

I like I will say I think it's so sad that that has caused a long-term ick for him because it's like, here's the thing.

This is probably the first time this has ever happened to him.

And there's a first time where we don't do things so well.

Like, okay, so now he, now maybe he can be better next time.

Like, don't let, don't let the first time, like, you know, maybe, like,

one time I handled an earthquake so poorly, okay?

And I like.

Which one was it?

Remember when I froze in fear during the Spider-Man movie?

And, and my dad's a firefighter, okay?

I feel so know everything about emergency situations and what to do.

And I do, but I get sometimes.

I think your response was better than mine.

No,

I wasn't panicking at all.

And so Courtney got up.

A bunch of, we're in the movie theater watching Spider-Man.

A bunch of people get up to go towards the exit.

And Courtney's like,

should we go?

And I'm sitting there.

I just go, nah, there's nothing we can do.

And I was just watching.

I was like, this is the best part.

I was like, it makes the movie better.

But okay, with earthquakes, I'm like, you're either going to die or you're in a good place.

Like,

what are you going to do?

Run away from the earth?

Oh my god.

We're in the middle of a movie theater.

You can get on the ground.

The earth is great.

There's a lot of there's a okay, yeah.

If you're if you're close to a window, get away from the window, things like that.

There's protocols.

No, you're right.

We're like in a war room.

Nothing we can do.

You're right.

I think what sucks about this is like,

yeah,

it's that he fully, and it

really could be.

It is flight earth.

And I agree with what you're saying.

No, but what was going on through my mind was like, I was like, I have no idea where the exit is.

Meanwhile, the big exit sign is right here.

I'm like, oh, oh, oh, like, literally, the fear of my body.

I was like, oh, and people are clearly walking your direction.

And I was like, which way do I go?

You can get all my money.

When your panic response hits, there's no thought.

But then after that, I was like, I'm so mad at myself.

Next time, I'm going to know.

And like, maybe that would be him.

Totally.

You can definitely train yourself for situations.

Like, absolutely.

I'm like, oh,

and you look at the exit sign, you're like, what does that word mean?

What is that?

Exite?

So funny.

One time, Raven and I got into a car accident and it wasn't anything serious, but I definitely like, it was one of those things where after it happened, I just like sat in the car silent.

She was driving and I was like.

Like I didn't know what to do.

And she had to like look over at me and she's like, can you do something?

And I was like, so then like I got out of the car car and like went to like check you know like on the other person like on the other car and like a piece of her bumper had like come off so i like tried to get that out of the road and i was like let's get you into like the center lane but there was definitely a moment where i was like i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do it's totally like a moment of like shock yeah there's fight flight or freeze and and truthfully it's not like he made a conscious decision in that moment it sounds like his brain kicked in and he went.

Yeah, he probably thought they were all gonna run.

Maybe a fair thought, like that he probably turned back and he's like, uh-oh.

He kept running!

He already scumped on their ass.

Yeah, so he ran so far that they needed to call him to pick him up.

He's like running like six miles away.

He didn't look good.

I'm in Reno.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, he ran for a long time.

That's, I think what's tough is, we're talking about the ick.

I think that kind of like minimizes it and makes it...

It gets us away from the conversation.

Yeah.

I get also of like your,

and this goes, I think, the same with like your friends or whatever, of being like, if we're in an emergency situation, are we going to like, is this person going to have my back?

Or do I, with this person, need to be fully prepared to handle things on my own?

And that's probably a scary thought in general.

Yeah, because you don't expect something like this to happen.

It's not something you really think to plan for, but I guess you never know these days.

But like, yeah,

yeah, I think it's just an uncomfortable, unfortunate thing that happened.

But it's definitely a great thing to learn from.

Not, I don't know.

I feel bad for him.

I feel so bad for him.

I can't help but feel horrible for him.

Cause you know he's probably ran away and it was just like, I feel awful.

Yeah, because like I think both, I would have chosen neither of those options.

Like, I feel like it's just what you do.

You just, you give them everything and you go.

I think they're lucky it was a fake gun.

I think the brother probably could tell it was a fake gun.

Cause sometimes they'll like, like, there's the people who will have like a stapler in their, in their like sweatshirt pocket, and, like, the shape of it will make you think it's a gun in their pocket or whatever.

But, like, yeah.

Normally, it's like, no, you give them the stuff, and you just, because your life is more important, I would be afraid of running away, because I'd be afraid that they would just sh shoot me.

That would be my

like, if I see, maybe if, if a guy had a knife, then maybe it's like a run situation, it's a run angle.

But if somebody has a gun and you just turn tail and run, like,

the advice I've heard is if someone says, give me your money, you give them your money.

Yeah.

And then if they say, now get in the van, then you run or you fight or whatever.

But you're playing a risk if someone seems to have a gun and you're going to try to beat them up.

You better hope it's not a gun.

No,

if there was a gun in front of me and somebody asked me to give them my stuff, I'm like, take whatever you want.

Take my shoes, take the shoes.

I just want to go home.

Can I call an Uber before you take my phone?

Oh my God.

They're like, okay, I'll call it.

And it's like,

what kind of lift are you getting?

It's like, it's like, yeah, I prefer.

I'm like, come on.

Can you order me like Uber Eats cheese so that I have food when I get home?

All right, dude.

They do really good on Candy Crush, though, and you're like, sweet.

Thank you.

But it's also, we're talking about how his response is not, wasn't his choice.

It's not like she's...

making a choice in how she's feeling.

Her feeling is also like, she's like, I can't help but feel this way.

Yeah, like she had a physical like cringe.

The situation sucks.

Comments, whether the change in your feelings about your fiancé makes you an asshole or not, you would not be doing either of you any favors by staying with him out of guilt.

That's fair.

Someone said, My issue is he ran away and left you behind to defend yourself.

Like, if his instinct was to run away, he should have also grabbed you to run away with him.

That's fair.

Yeah.

Or and he just didn't even come back.

Like, that's.

Yeah, no, no, that there's like a lot of like

protection layers there.

So, like, I understand.

It's like, oh, he messed up this one time.

Messing up can cost you a life.

Like right.

Like gender roles aside, you kind of hope that, you know, some people will really hope to feel some sense of protection or like you want to feel safe with your person.

And like that's that was a very important moment for her.

And like I think maybe she would have had

and maybe the response wouldn't have been as intense if her brother hadn't literally done the flip.

You know, like she got a prime example of like the opposite of what her fiancé did.

I think it almost would have been worse though if she was if she was just with her fiancé and he ran and left her.

Oh my god, devastating.

Like

that's that's wild.

And it's just kind of like, I can't be with someone who's gonna do that, you know?

So lastly, someone said, that's a tough one, but imagine if your brother wasn't there.

It's scary to think your partner will not have your back.

I've felt that ick you mentioned.

It's really hard to bounce back from that.

Not the asshole.

Update.

Whoa.

Okay.

I have broken up with my fiancé.

I did it this quick because it was not fair to him or to me to keep this relationship just stringing along.

Yes, I loved him a lot and will always cherish the memories I had with him, but after the incident last night, I just don't have the same love for him anymore, and I don't think I ever will.

To be clear, I don't blame him for what he did in running away.

It was his natural instinct, and I completely understand that.

But when my brother instinctively stepped in front of me to shield me from the attacker in comparison to my fiancé just running away scared, it pretty much evaporated most of not all of my feelings for my fiancé.

I've just just learned about myself that one of my love languages is safety and security.

I let my fiancé know and I apologized and told him I don't blame him at all for what happened the previous night.

My fiancé was devastated and he did cry a lot, but after some time he said he understood my decision.

I still feel really guilty about it because my fiancé is a really kind and sweet man, but it wouldn't be fair to him if my heart wasn't in it.

He deserves to be in a relationship with someone who loves him for who he is, and I deserve to find someone who I wholly love.

Cut to this ex-fiancé walking up to a top of a mountain where there's a Shaolin monastery

and becoming the world's greatest fighter.

He's like, I'm going to become the deadliest fighter.

You need the redemption.

No, but I'd be like, that would be a huge motivation for me.

I'd be like, I'm going to become the world's deadliest warrior now.

Yeah, no, I think she's so right.

And like, she, that was a very important moment.

Like, in any relationship, you learn how your partner acts.

And like, she realized that she wants wants someone who she can feel safe with and like you know that might not be a priority like like like I know people that be like yeah, like I would probably be the one punching and kicking a cyclist off or whatever, but like yeah, I think that's totally fair and it's the whole situation is really like so many awful things happening back to back

but And I'm so sorry.

I laughed when she said that he cried.

I'm like, this guy.

I just feel so bad for him because I'm like, once he did that and he can't take it back and he's probably regretting it and he because the fact that he goes I understand yeah I understand it's just like oh this one just they're lucky no one was hurt

all right this one is a today I fucked up

today I fucked up when I asked my girlfriend to come up with reasons why we might break up okay

My girlfriend and I were lying in bed last night, cuddling and shit.

Okay.

Cuddling and shitting.

Cuddling and shitting.

My girlfriend and I were lying in bed last night cuddling and shit when it dawned on me all of a sudden that none of my friends were in relationships anymore.

All of them had broken up with their partners within the past few months, which was more or less the same length of time my girlfriend and I had been together.

I shared this revelation with my girlfriend mid-cuddle before asking her what I thought was a funny and harmless question at the time.

I asked her what she thought would be the end of us and encouraged her to come up with ridiculous reasons only.

Full disclosure, my girlfriend and I were both high during the inception of this fuck-up, so keep that in mind if some of our actions come across as somewhat random.

Anyway, per my question, my girlfriend provided the following reasons that would cause our relationship to crumble.

If I stopped showering, if during sex I said, I'm gonna come dot dot dot question mark, if I lived on the 13th floor, if I pss at someone whose name I knew, if I used a spoon to drink tea or coffee like it was medicine, if I literally licked my thumb before turning to the next page of a book.

If I literally licked my thumb before turning the page,

if I found out she had a dildo replica of her ex's penis.

I paused my girlfriend when she got to the seventh reason and asked her if number seven was something real or ridiculous because it sounded a lot less random than the other reasons.

My girlfriend said it was both real and ridiculous while laughing because at that point the atmosphere in the room was still light-hearted.

I asked her why she still had her ex's fake penis in her possession.

She shrugged and said it was a decent dildo.

I was about to ask her if she still used the dildo, but she predicted my question and said it's been a long time since she used it.

I think my face was beginning to show my mixed feelings because my girlfriend decided to tickle me out of the blue until I laughed.

I did laugh, thanks to the tickle, but I was unable to forget about the clone a willy situation.

It was bugging me.

I had to see it.

So I asked my girlfriend to show it to me.

She reluctantly agreed to show it to me if I promised to file this whole situation out, something that means nothing, and move on.

I promised.

Oh, dude.

No, I don't want to see it.

We know.

Look, if I'm dude in that situation, I do not see it.

I don't know.

I don't want to see it.

Just put it in the the garbage.

Cast it to the shadow realm.

For someone who said she struggled to remember when last she used the dildo, my girlfriend didn't even have to think about where she stored it.

Just in case it's unclear, we were in her flat.

As soon as I witnessed the clone dildo with my own two eyes, I knew, oh yeah, that shit was going to live rent-free in the back of my mind.

Of course it was big.

I mean, what other size is there when it comes to exes?

That's so good.

My girlfriend asked if I wanted her to get rid of it.

My mind said yes, but my mouth said it was her choice.

She shrugged and said it was just another sex toy.

I said, a promise is a promise before deciding to make us some coffee, which I drank with a spoon.

Playing the breakup game was not the smartest decision on my part.

Now I'm cursed with the knowledge that my girlfriend not only kept her ex's cloned cock, but most likely used it whenever she wanted, which may or may not have been during our relationship.

Ooh, we're the knife knife that the big rectangle knife what a cleaver

now is not the time for secrets

I wanted to say I want to

picture

the name of something that's so crazy so Shane doesn't know this but

I just pictured them like, okay, great.

So they're going to get a cleaver and they're going to chop it up and throw it away.

And I was asking him what a cleaver was.

That was a bunch of weird sentences I just said.

Okay.

But none of which was a secret.

Courtney's words were, what's the big rectangular knife?

So one is, I mean, he's high.

He's high, but at least like the next day, it's like, hey, man, that makes me really uncomfortable.

Yeah, you have every right to be like hey there's also the other element of like it's kind of weird that you have your ex's dildo not just on behalf of your your current boyfriend but on behalf of your ex too like that's kind of yeah

yeah like i feel like that's something that should probably go with the relationship I'm very much like,

I don't know, when I got out of a relationship, when I get out of a relationship, it's like, if there are things that like very strongly like connect me to that, like things that I own, like even if it's like clothes or a hoodie or something.

I'm like, I just want to get rid of it.

Like, I'm, I'm closing the chapter on that.

I don't want to have anything that I look at it and it makes me think of like that person.

Right.

Having a dildo of your ex, like, that's wild.

That's

insane.

Obviously, I'm not in that situation, but if I was the ex in this scenario and they broke up, I'd be like, hey, please get rid of that.

Like, get rid of my penis.

Get rid of my penis.

You can go get

another one.

They have teams of people designing fantastic dildos just for you.

Yeah.

Call that.

Yeah.

If I found that that would be...

No, I think that would be a deal breaker for me.

It's that would be like that's not something I don't, I don't think I could get over that.

A lot of comments.

OP, you're allowed to change your mind and bring this up again in a measured and honest and sober conversation.

If it's bothering you, please do.

Spell out all your complicated feelings.

Don't make demands or accusations.

Trust that she loves you and has your best interest at heart.

It sounds like you guys have a great relationship.

Jealousy is amorphous and all-encompassing.

It moves in the shadows.

It doesn't have to make sense.

Own it by exposing it to the light.

Wow, okay.

Someone said, a lot of people saying, oh, it's inanimate and meaningless.

My brother, that shit would eat me up too.

Lastly, someone said, play the reverse scenario.

You have a clone of your ex's vagina sitting around that you use at will.

I think that would be hurtful to your partner.

Listen to your inner self.

This is an important growth moment.

Be vulnerable and ask for what you need.

Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm.

An open, honest relationship is the healthiest relationship.

This is how you build one.

It sounds like you're ignoring your feelings to try to appear secure.

Secure people don't hide their feelings.

They express them and look for people who accept them.

That's don't burn yourself to keep other people's warm.

That's a good one.

Update.

Whoa.

Based on my original post, the consensus was that I'd be honest with my girlfriend about how I feel regarding her ex's clona Willie dildo that she still owned.

I was building up towards sharing my feelings with my girlfriend, but she beat me to it and ended up telling me that she got rid of her ex's cloner Willie because she could tell how much it bothered me.

I confirmed what she said about my feelings and thanked her for disposing of her ex's dick.

My girlfriend said I should not be thanking her yet because she was not 100% honest with me when she initially said that she used her ex's cloner willy a long time ago.

At that moment, I knew she was going to tell me that she used the clona willy during her relationship with her ex, which was whatever, and during her relationship with me, which was where it kind of became a gray area for a current boyfriend perspective.

My girlfriend came clean about using her ex's cloner willy until the two of us finally figured each other out sexually.

I understood what she was saying.

The chemistry between us was there since the beginning of our relationship, but the first few times we had sex was a bit of a learning curve for both of us.

The sex was enjoyable for the most part, but despite our best efforts, we struggled to get each other off for some reason.

During that time, my girlfriend said she low-key relied on her ex's cloner Willie, which apparently made her orgasm without fail.

Call me insecure or whatever, but hearing that made me go, ouch, on the inside.

Yeah.

Yeah,

yeah.

My girlfriend said the irony of relying on her her ex's Clona Willie while we struggled to find our sweet spot in the bedroom was the fact that she realized later on that her attachment to something from the past might have prevented her from fully committing to something in the present or something like that.

She said it better.

My girlfriend assured me that when she told me her ex's clona willy was just another sex toy, she meant it because that's what it became eventually when she learned to let go of lingering feelings and fully embrace the new connection she had with me.

She made it sound like one of the reasons our sex life became the complete package it is now was due to the fact that she stopped using the clona willy as her main source to get off.

She apologized for not being vulnerable enough to unpack the impact her ex had on the beginning stages of our relationship and promised that her flat was now free of all her ex's clona willy dildos.

I thought she implied that there was more than one clona willy as a joke to get a reaction out of me, but as soon as she opened the garbage bin, I realized her ex really loved cloning his dick.

I counted three, including the one I knew about.

The other two were both glow-in-the-dark.

My girlfriend and I laughed about it.

I have a feeling we're gonna be okay.

That said, I'm not sure I'll easily forget about her well-endowed ex-boyfriend who pieced out of his relationship with my girlfriend by leaving behind not one, not two, but three of his dicks.

Wow.

Three.

Wow.

What?

Three penises.

Three penises.

What for?

Whatever for?

Two are glow-in-the-dark.

Well, maybe I get having one glow-in-the-dark and one not.

What's...

Why do you need?

Look,

I don't know, man.

I don't know.

I have no idea.

There's a lot going on.

I learned, I've been exposed to a lot of situations I've never thought of before.

Yeah, I know.

This is crazy.

As it goes with every Reddit stories, I think what you also could have done in this situation is it's like you see the three penises, like, all right, we're going to get rid of them.

And he's like, for sure.

And then he grabs one and he just goes, all right,

we must duel.

That's awesome.

You could do that.

I thought the update was going to be she has a clone X.

Oh, and he's fully there.

Props to them.

They communicated.

I will say bravo to him for getting over that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's tough.

And that's really, really awesome that she kind of proactively was like, I can tell that bothered him.

I'm going to do this.

Like, I was hoping that this could be a learning moment once again.

Yeah.

Yeah.

My only hang up, I think, because I think it is like really good how they communicated and how they were honest.

My only hangup is that when she says, like, I was using them at the start until we kind of found our sexual groove.

I think that if she had gotten rid of them at that point

then it would have been like more like, okay, like I get it.

You were kind of putting that thing in the past.

But the fact that she then still held on to them.

It's a lie.

Don't get me wrong.

I'm thinking in my, if I'm in this situation, even after this conversation, I don't know if I can do this.

Like, I just, I think I'd be like, I'm never going to get that out of my head.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

I can't.

Like,

I don't know how much like toys like that might cost.

Like obviously

she has a sex healthy relationship with her body and stuff.

But yeah, I can understand like she just maybe just didn't get around to replacing them.

Like everybody has like their needs and stuff.

But yeah, it's the idea of it that's like, whoa.

Yeah.

Anyways,

a lot to think about today.

A lot to think about.

Specifically, a lot to glow in the dark penises.

Yeah.

Think about.

Yeah.

A lot of those to think about.

Thank you both for being here.

These were some crazy breakups.

Hey, thanks for having me, Shane.

It's been an honor.

It's been a pleasure.

Really good to be here as always hanging out with you here on the Reddit stories.

What the hell?

What the hell, man?

Okay.

Anyways,

let me know your thoughts on these stories down below because these ones blew my mind.

And let us know what other themes and subreddits you want want us to cover on this show.

And we will see you next Saturday.

Yeah, and if you ever want to test your boyfriend, do the bicyclist mugger test.

Have someone try to get a bunch of people.

Where a cyclist comes up, pulls out a glow-in-the-dark dildo, and is like, hey, give me your money.

Give me your money.

This is a gun.

They're like, oh, he says it's a gun.

It must be a gun.

Okay.

All right.

We'll see you later.

Bye.

Bye.

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