Catching Flights & Starting Fights | Reading Reddit Stories

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Speaker 4 Hello, welcome to Reddit Stories. I'm Shane, and today it's all about travel.
And I'm joined by two weary travelers, Ian and Amanda.

Speaker 2 Hello. So travel.

Speaker 4 So these stories are all about travel. We've done travel stories before.
A lot of drama happens in regards to travel, you know, who you go on a trip with, how trips go.

Speaker 4 Planes.

Speaker 2 Passport bros. We did travel stories together.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Here.

Speaker 2 Right here on Reddit. Sequel.

Speaker 4 And now we're doing it again. Have you recently traveled at all?

Speaker 2 You know I have.

Speaker 4 Yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 Yes, I've traveled a lot this year. I went to Florida.
Oh, wow.

Speaker 2 I went to Cape Cod.

Speaker 2 And then I went to Greece.

Speaker 4 And you talked about this on Smoshmouth, but

Speaker 4 going on your trip with your family, there was a little bit of drama here and there. Yeah.

Speaker 2 There's four sisters and one mother.

Speaker 2 That's five Portuguese women in one place. That's a lot of.

Speaker 2 All trying to choose dinner. That's a lot.
Where did you travel to?

Speaker 2 Well, my passport was expired for a whole year. Wow.
Yeah. What? How did you let that happen? It just happened.
One day I looked at my passport and went, oh, this is old.

Speaker 2 So I, and then, you know, like, I didn't want to, like, I tried to get it renewed and like went to FedEx and I was like, I heard you guys renew passports. And they're like, no, we don't.

Speaker 2 And I was like,

Speaker 2 okay.

Speaker 2 so just kind of sat in my room for a while and then I did it online it was super duper easy whoa really yeah

Speaker 2 okay took a I took my photo my passport photo here at the office with like crappy light and they accepted it and

Speaker 2 yeah photo doesn't look great but um I got my passport so I'm ready to I'm ready to travel the world where are you going are you gonna go somewhere have you planned I want to go to Austria but I feel like I kind of like I want to go like when it's like green and there's waterfalls waterfalls and I feel like now it's probably gotten snowy.

Speaker 4 Our first one comes from Am I the Asshole. Am I the asshole for refusing when my friend wanted to join my fiancé and I on our first trip together?

Speaker 2 Here I'm out.

Speaker 4 I, a 22-year-old woman and my fiancé, a 23-year-old man, are going on our first trip together.

Speaker 4 I'm really excited as this is my first time on a plane and even leaving the state I've lived in my whole life.

Speaker 4 We've been planning for this trip since earlier this year and we've gotten our tickets as well as accommodations.

Speaker 4 Altogether, we've already spent about $4,500 on everything, which has been something we've been saving for as we're both college students.

Speaker 4 Our trip is in about a month and in comes my friend, we'll call her Ashley, she's 22, who's been my friend for about a year.

Speaker 4 She'd brought up going to Japan as well, kind of jokingly, when we told her about the trip.

Speaker 4 I didn't think she was serious, but then she brought it up a few more times, even saying that she had a family member she could stay with.

Speaker 4 She asked if she could spend some time during the days joining us on our adventures while this family member was at work.

Speaker 4 I was supportive of this idea as I know this would be her first time in Japan as well and I care about her.

Speaker 4 However, when she told me she wanted to get the tickets, her family member no longer would have space for her to stay.

Speaker 4 She wants to know if she can stay in our accommodations and join us on our flight back home.

Speaker 4 I let her know that our accommodation has strict rules against having more than two people and there's only one small bed in this studio.

Speaker 4 She said she'd be fine sleeping anywhere on the floor or couch, etc.

Speaker 4 I told her I'd be more comfortable if we didn't chance a fee or getting in trouble in general, as I really just want a a comfortable stay.

Speaker 4 I told her that we're still willing to spend time with her during the day, and I began sending her accommodations in her budget. I was hoping this would be enough.

Speaker 4 Instead, she's just asking if we can cancel our accommodations and pay for larger accommodations that can have a bed for her as well.

Speaker 4 Mind you, she's not saying she will help us pay for the more expensive accommodation or anything else for that matter.

Speaker 4 She simply just wants to stay with us and for us to pay for a different accommodation. It seems like no matter what I say, she just keeps trying to manipulate me into letting her stay with us.

Speaker 4 This is also hard because I know my fiancée and I really wanted wanted this to be a romantic trip for us both as we likely won't be able to afford another for a few years as we finish school.

Speaker 4 I'm just stuck on what to say or do. And if I'm the asshole here, should I be okay with my friends staying in our accommodations and joining in our trip?

Speaker 2 I can't with this one. Wow.
I mean, it's because they're 22. I mean, come on.

Speaker 2 I think there's just like zero self-awareness. Some people just aren't self-aware.
I think, yes, I agree, but also immediately would have been like, no. Yeah, oh, no.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 it's...

Speaker 4 No. I don't understand also, even from the start of this, when it's like, oh yeah, my fiancé and I are going on our first trip together, the thought of going, can I join?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I want to sleep.

Speaker 4 Like, as a joke.

Speaker 2 Well, that sounds really cool. I'll sleep on the floor.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah, it's like,

Speaker 4 and this isn't the first time we've had stories where people are going on a trip and someone is like, can I join your trip to out of country?

Speaker 4 I understand being invited on someone's trip, but to, unless it's like

Speaker 4 siblings or like your absolute best friend. Yeah, I don't understand.
I would never

Speaker 2 come to Greece with her and her sister. Yeah, and I was like, You can't.
Because the accommodations are so strict.

Speaker 4 And then when you were there in Greece, all of a sudden it was like, Wait, who's this fourth sister?

Speaker 2 And it was

Speaker 2 a canto.

Speaker 2 Fifth sister. That would have been five sisters.

Speaker 2 And one mother. That would have been six people.
And your mom is like eating my favorite daughter for years. How do you want to go to dinner? And the short Kanto.

Speaker 2 Kanto. Kanto.

Speaker 4 I can't believe this.

Speaker 2 Here's the thing. People weirdly do that.
They'll be like, oh my God, well, we've always wanted to go to Japan, and maybe we'll meet you there, or I'll meet you there.

Speaker 2 It's always this weird, tricky thing. And it just, the worst thing to do is to be like, no, you cannot come to this country that I have no ownership of.
But also, no.

Speaker 4 Well, and the prospect of like being on a trip to a country and if you have friends who are also going to be there around the same time, but you're doing,

Speaker 4 you're going on two separate trips to the same place is what it originally sounded like. So it's like, oh, I have a family member there.
I'll go stay with them.

Speaker 4 But as soon as that doesn't work, it's like, oh, then I'm sorry. Your trip is not working out.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 4 You were never on our trip to Japan.

Speaker 2 Also, this is her first time leaving the Japanese state. Leaving the state, getting on a plane.
That's super special. It's super special, and she wants to spend it with her fiancé.

Speaker 4 Also, put two and two together. You're not going to sleep on the floor in their small accommodations.
Yeah, they gotta fuck.

Speaker 2 Like,

Speaker 2 that's what I was gonna say. Sorry.
And then I thought I was gonna get

Speaker 4 that. Like, if I'm talking to friends, even if this had all been planned and I was invited to go with them, I probably would have said no.

Speaker 4 I'd have been like, oh, well, I have to find my own accommodations. I'm not staying in the same room as a couple.

Speaker 2 Can you imagine sleeping on the floor and then going like, no kissing,

Speaker 2 guys?

Speaker 2 I can hear you. what are you guys doing

Speaker 2 the blankets are all moving and your legs are in the air

Speaker 4 and then they wake up they wake up in the middle of the night and I'm standing at the foot of the bed and I'm just like I float up

Speaker 2 I float up I float up a lot of times I don't feel good because like it does kind of remind me of when

Speaker 2 I was in Japan for one reason and you and Damien were in Japan for another reason. Oh.
And we were in Tokyo at the same time and we met up. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know, we met up a few times, but it was like, we had our own thing that we were doing. Totally.
And we met up in Kauai. Yeah, we did.
Yeah. For lunch.
We're on the same.

Speaker 4 Ian happens to always be.

Speaker 2 That's so weird. Actually, he was in Greece.

Speaker 2 And he was in Florida.

Speaker 2 He was surfing on a wave, and I was like, hello?

Speaker 4 He's there in the lake like an alligator.

Speaker 2 Amanda.

Speaker 4 I think what's happening here is OP is similar to me where they're afraid of confrontation. They're afraid of saying no to someone.

Speaker 2 But some of them are. He would have said no, though.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah. Well, because at a certain point, too, you get to the point where you go, oh, I just know, I don't think this is a big deal.
This is not offensive to say no.

Speaker 4 So if they're offended, that's their problem. Yeah.
But it's just no. It's just simply no.

Speaker 4 And I think it's not too late for them to even go,

Speaker 4 we kind of actually want this to be a romantic thing for just the two of us. I think we're going to go do our own thing.
Yeah. And we don't really want to.

Speaker 2 Here's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking OP's friend, it seems like stepping on eggshells because if they're that close, it seems like the friend gets mad about.

Speaker 2 And also remember, there's always a friend who gets kind of either cool or upset with a couple.

Speaker 2 It's kind of always like a weird line there.

Speaker 4 Yeah, interesting.

Speaker 2 Not the asshole in my opinion. Oh, definitely not the asshole.
Definitely not the asshole.

Speaker 4 Comments here. Not the asshole, but you will be if you allow her to go.
This was to be a romantic trip for you and your your boyfriend.

Speaker 4 She invited herself claiming she had someone she could stay with.

Speaker 4 This was probably false all along and she waited until the last minute to ask if she could stay with you, thinking she could guilt you into it.

Speaker 4 Then when you told her no, she wanted you to pay for a larger accommodation so she could stay, but she offered you no money. Chances are

Speaker 4 she also has no money for accommodations or food and planned to mooch off you and your boyfriend on all your sightseeing and meals.

Speaker 4 Just tell her no, you are not willing for her to join at all, maybe sometime in the future, but this is just a trip for you and your boyfriend. That could all be true.
I also don't, we don't know.

Speaker 4 Some people are also, there are people out there who are just

Speaker 2 unaware,

Speaker 4 unaware, and totally just like not thinking things through. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I'm not saying that's what this commenter is saying isn't true. It could be, but that wouldn't be my initial thought.
It also doesn't matter. You say no.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Someone else said, not the asshole, but this is a no-brainer. You aren't being honest with her.
Stop using accommodations as an excuse and tell her the truth. This is your first trip with your fiancé.

Speaker 4 The two of you have planned it carefully for just the two of you. Your plans are final.
They cannot be changed. You look forward to traveling with her in the future, but not on this trip.

Speaker 4 If she was truly a close friend, she would have had the good sense not to try and force herself on you. You haven't known her very long at all.
You may just now be seeing her, the real her.

Speaker 4 If she doesn't drop the subject immediately, then drop her. She's an acquaintance, not a friend.

Speaker 2 Oh, so that's drop her.

Speaker 4 Let's see, did they

Speaker 4 know her for very long.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 in comes my friend, Ashley, who's been a friend about a year. Oh.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's a lot for after a year. Yeah.

Speaker 2 This year, maybe it's not like everyday kind of friend.

Speaker 4 That's shocking, though, for that quick.

Speaker 2 But I think the

Speaker 2 mooching thing kind of has me a little bit.

Speaker 2 I somewhat suspect that.

Speaker 4 Now

Speaker 4 with that amount of time, that does fit a lot.

Speaker 2 You're also still in college they said?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Something that I also think their behavior where they're they're trying to find physical reasons why this person can't come on it seems like this is someone who's not respecting her feelings. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Because you know, it's okay to use your feelings as a reasoning for something, to being like, you know, I just, I want this to be my husband and I.

Speaker 2 That's my reasoning.

Speaker 4 It's not that our accommodation. We could be staying in a five-room hotel room.

Speaker 2 Easy.

Speaker 4 But I want it to just be my husband and I. But this

Speaker 2 is the bang it.

Speaker 4 She's clearly afraid of using just her emotions.

Speaker 2 Sorry.

Speaker 4 Because this person clearly is going to go,

Speaker 4 that's not a reason. Like, I don't know.
This person's not respecting them.

Speaker 2 He has to tell her.

Speaker 4 Lastly, someone said, Ashley, it seems like a lot of things you were counting on for this trip are falling through. I think you'd better try again later when things line up for you.

Speaker 4 Fiancé and I will be taking this couple's trip without you.

Speaker 4 Yeah, like that's what she should say.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, I totally agree with what you're saying about like just

Speaker 4 speaking to your feelings about just being like I want this to just be my husband and I. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And that's and there's no real wiggle room with that. Yeah, and if you can't respect that, then that's fucked up.
Then you're not going to be friends for very long. Please tell me there's an update.

Speaker 4 Update. Oh!

Speaker 4 Okay, what do we think? Do we think it's a mooching situation or do we think it's...

Speaker 2 Okay, I think the roommate, I think the two of them went there and the roommate was at the hotel like, hey, Gamster Frickers.

Speaker 2 That's what you do. Roomie.
that's what you do

Speaker 2 yeah but I mean it's our fun little thing

Speaker 2 that we have that exists every day

Speaker 2 to Kauai and I and I was walking down the aisle and I went huh that really happened that really did happen he doesn't care

Speaker 2 I care doesn't seem I care seems like you are not listening to our feelings yeah Shane Shane

Speaker 2 Let's all go to Japan.

Speaker 2 Feelings matter.

Speaker 2 Feelings matter in these situations.

Speaker 2 I think there's some like jealousy with the

Speaker 2 girl. Yeah, the girl's getting married and maybe she's not and she's like, well, I'm your friend too.
And like we always do things together. And then he came along but she's a little bit more.

Speaker 2 But she's only been their friend for a year. I know.
But maybe she's in love.

Speaker 4 I was kind of reading this through thinking like this is a 10-year friend.

Speaker 2 10-year friend. No.

Speaker 4 Which makes a lot more sense, but a year in.

Speaker 2 It's either that or mooching. Can I have both options? Sure.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 4 I ended up refusing for the 10th time and told her no bluntly and as clearly as possible.

Speaker 4 I also made sure to say that I wasn't down with changing anything and that I want to spend time with only my fiancé.

Speaker 4 That I've been trying to nicely say no, but I don't appreciate getting manipulated nor having my partner's and I's feelings ignored. She said, we've been talking about this trip for so long.

Speaker 4 Why didn't we just work it out earlier? It's not my fault that

Speaker 4 this is last minute. Why won't you just do this one? It's not much different.
There's just an extra bed.

Speaker 4 And she sent me a link to a specific accommodation where the two beds are side by side, just by the way.

Speaker 4 She basically ignored what I said, so I have ignored her since. We're in the same friend group, so I think it's probably going to get weird, but honestly, I'm okay with that.

Speaker 4 Regardless of how that goes, my fiancé and I will be going alone and not meeting up with her or anyone anywhere during our trip. I'm going to work on the saying no thing and setting harder boundaries.

Speaker 4 I just had an abusive upbringing and I'm still working on it all. I keep needing to remind myself that I'm not in that place anymore.

Speaker 4 She's not the only 22-year-old out there who's really bad at saying no. Like I was horrendous at it at that age.
I had to come up with all these reasons to say no to people instead of just saying no.

Speaker 4 It's okay.

Speaker 2 Well, it's hard because some people make you feel bad about being honest. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Also,

Speaker 2 the two beds together, like, girl, move on. Yeah, what the hell? Move on.
What? 10 times?

Speaker 4 I cannot stand people who don't take no for an answer. Like, it's, it, it is enough of a reason for me to slowly drift away from someone because

Speaker 4 it's like the most

Speaker 4 basic form of disrespect that people can do. It's like you go like, oh, no, no, thanks.
And then there's like, yeah, but I'm not going to listen.

Speaker 2 You're not really like thinking about this.

Speaker 4 It's just like, hey, man, just listen to that.

Speaker 2 Truly. That's all.
That's all. Tell me there's pictures of them in Japan.

Speaker 4 No.

Speaker 2 Did they have a good time? Whoa!

Speaker 2 They got a picture of it. Is that the girl in the background like this?

Speaker 2 Like the grudge.

Speaker 4 Well, that's

Speaker 4 it.

Speaker 2 That's it.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 4 she did the right thing.

Speaker 2 She did the right thing.

Speaker 2 Okay. Yes.

Speaker 4 We're happy for you. Our next story.
We're happy for her. Our next story is a doozy.

Speaker 2 Let's go.

Speaker 4 I've read this one.

Speaker 2 Whoa.

Speaker 2 Dumb.

Speaker 2 Dumb.

Speaker 4 Okay, here we go. This was on Am I the Asshole, and it got reposted onto Am I the Devil.

Speaker 2 So this is a real piece of shit here.

Speaker 4 Am I the asshole for parting with my friend midway through a Grand Canyon hike?

Speaker 2 Sorry, partying or partying? Party? Party. Partying.
Party.

Speaker 2 I am parting ways with you now. From my friend.
Can you imagine partying in the middle of the Grand Canyon? Okay, sick. That's true.
Set up some speakers, some lights. Oh, sick.

Speaker 4 Partying in the Grand Canyon would be sick. Dope.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I want to do that. Unless there's a flash flood.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4 My friend Crystal and I spent six months planning and training for a very intense all-day hike of the Grand Canyon.

Speaker 4 We would go down South Kaibab and up Bright Angel on Crystal's birthday in June, which would be over 100 degrees. Two weeks before the hike, our friend Valerie said she wanted to join us.

Speaker 4 Valerie looks way fitter than us, she does CrossFit and has a six-pack, and we assumed she would be fine.

Speaker 4 On the trip leading up to the hike, Valerie was eating salad while Crystal and I were carb loading with pasta and pizza.

Speaker 4 Crystal and I each bought four liters of water, trail mix, and granola bars, and believed Valerie had packed her bag with the same, as it was all in the hotel room for all of us to share when we packed up the night before.

Speaker 4 About half the way down, Crystal and I realized that at the pace Valerie was going, and thus the rest of us, we would not finish the hike before sundown.

Speaker 4 We told Valerie about our concerns and she said we should just hike ahead without her and that she would either catch up or if it was too much turn back.

Speaker 4 We asked if she was really sure about it and she said she was so off we went. When we got to the bottom of the canyon we waited for about an hour at the Colorado River but did not see her.

Speaker 4 At that point we really had to get going so we would finish the trail before nightfall. We tried to call her from a payphone but got her voicemail.
None of us had reception.

Speaker 4 We explained the situation to a ranger and they said they'd look out for her.

Speaker 4 When we were close to the top and it was actually already dark, we got reception and got messages from her that she had collapsed and had to stay at the lodge at the bottom of the canyon.

Speaker 4 The lodge is booked months out, but I guess they hold some emergency beds. She would hike out the next day with another group and said not to worry about her.

Speaker 4 Both Crystal and I were totally destroyed physically, but we got in the car, went and demolished a pizza, then went to sleep at the hotel.

Speaker 4 Oddly, we found half of Valerie's water and all of Valerie's food at the hotel.

Speaker 4 I don't want to make too many assumptions about her, but I think it's clear enough to say that it seemed clear she didn't know how to eat during or before a hike, despite our guidance.

Speaker 4 The next day, Valerie said she would be up by 3 p.m. I was planning to pick her up.
However, the one update we got from her was that she would be hours late. 6 p.m.

Speaker 4 rolled around and she still wasn't up. I left her a voicemail letting her know we needed to continue on to our next hotel.
one hour away.

Speaker 4 We were both feeling really beat up and I didn't think I would have the energy to do the drive much later. I told her in the voicemail that I'd pay for her to Uber to the hotel.

Speaker 4 Just tell me how much it was. At around 10 p.m., Valerie called me furious.
It took her over 13 hours to hike up and she almost didn't make it. She was suffering from sunstroke.

Speaker 4 She said she could have died because we abandoned her and we were really selfish not to stay with her.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 This is the dumbest thing. I'm in a nightmare right now.

Speaker 4 So all of the stupidness is before they is allowing her to go on this.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 because people who don't hike regularly probably underestimate how intense it is also the grand canyon i think for a lot of people they think like oh it's a you hike down into the canyon back up it's like it's massive that's like what three thousand kids feet gigantic can i be honest i hiked the grand canyon when i was seven and it was easy in kids

Speaker 2 there's home video of it

Speaker 2 and i was like mom Why didn't you pack me good shoes? She was like, I forgot.

Speaker 4 We also don't know which, we also don't know which hike they're doing. Exactly.

Speaker 2 Million hikes. It sounds like they're doing an aggressive one.
I think it was called Blue Angel.

Speaker 4 Yeah, South Kaibob to whatever angel. But this is the thing.
They're like, oh, she's really fit. It's like, yeah, but there's matter.
And then there's like hiking shape.

Speaker 2 There's endurance fish. I mean, unless she needs to do a bunch of

Speaker 2 on the ledge. We have to climb up the side of the cliff and she's just like leaping up.
Yeah, she has a clear functionality.

Speaker 4 It's a completely like, it's its own unique thing. I mean, it's really...

Speaker 2 She wasn't prepared.

Speaker 4 It was really dumb of them to accept. Like, they should have been like, no, like, I'm sorry.
This, we've been planning this for months. We've been training for months.

Speaker 4 We don't feel comfortable bringing on someone that.

Speaker 2 But she didn't train with them. No.
This is two weeks before.

Speaker 2 That's dangerous. Super dangerous.
Super dangerous.

Speaker 4 No, it's like, I'm sorry. This is

Speaker 4 100-degree weather, an intense hike. Yes.
We have to be accountable for each other.

Speaker 2 I don't think it was great for them to leave her behind. I was going to say.
No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 4 Leaving her behind is the dumbest thing of it all.

Speaker 4 even if she said leave me behind you never leave someone alone no like it's a hundred degrees you're doing an intense hike and you know better than anybody I know better than anyone because my brother and I got lost on a hike once but you it's it's one of the rules you don't go off trail and you don't leave anyone alone ever

Speaker 4 and

Speaker 4 the second they had that because but she's not an experienced hiker she's going oh no go on without me at that point they go no we have to turn back we simply have to we're not gonna make it there we three are one unit we're not gonna make it together yeah so we're turning back yeah i'm sorry sorry was this so then was this like a loop it wasn't like an out and back i it sounds like an out and back to me because they would have passed her in that case oh you're right no it is a loop it was

Speaker 2 it is a loop um and maybe it's it's down one side out the other well they went down to the colorado river and then they must have gone up a couple they go up a different side that took her 13 hours yeah well yeah she's probably hiking also she had sunstroke sunstroke dude she was fucked.

Speaker 4 Oh, absolutely destroyed. And they left her twice.
Because they get up, they abandon her there, which is really dumb. They get to the bottom, they go, well, we got to keep going.

Speaker 4 So they abandoned her again. And then at the top, they're like, well, we got to get to our next hotel.
They abandoned her three times.

Speaker 2 That's crazy. Why do you have to get to your next hotel?

Speaker 4 No, they're like, we got to go smash a pizza, dude.

Speaker 2 Demolish a pizza, honey, demolish a pizza.

Speaker 4 No, they're really inconsiderate. Like, this is why it's dumb.
It's like, you clearly didn't care that much about bringing this person on your hike.

Speaker 2 Also, getting an Uber from somewhere near the Grand Canyon to get you to your next hotel, that's going to cost more than just booking a new hostess.

Speaker 4 We're in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, get an Uber.

Speaker 2 Just wait for her. Like, just literally wait and be like, hey, we're not going to arrive till 10 p.m.
Our friend has fucking heat stroke.

Speaker 4 Yeah, this is all insane. And also the fact that they were on the hike and then they were like, oh, we realized like we gave her guidance and she didn't bring anything.

Speaker 4 It's like, before you leave that morning, be like, what's in your pack?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Like, what are you bringing? Show us what's in your pack.

Speaker 4 Like, like, straight up, though, I'm like, you guys didn't actually give much of a shit about that.

Speaker 2 No, they're like, uh-oh, she didn't pack. Well, here we go.
It's like.

Speaker 4 This is, it's mind-blowing to me. I mean, like, she could have died.
Like, straight up could have died. Yeah.
Had they, this is what could have realistically happened. They abandoned her.

Speaker 4 She's by herself. And she just falls.
like falls somewhere and she's by herself. Like that's what happens.

Speaker 4 Like when my brother and I got lost and we were lost for like a whole day, I was immediately realizing, like, it was such a wake-up call for me of like, what's actually scary in nature.

Speaker 4 Cause I was not scared of bears or wolves or anything.

Speaker 2 Badass. I was, no, you're not.

Speaker 4 You're scared of running out of water. Well, we, and we did run out of water.

Speaker 2 You're scared of falling.

Speaker 4 Which was like, oh, I, since then, since getting lost, I'm like, I'm bringing so much fucking water with me.

Speaker 4 But also, I'm like, if I just fall and break my ankle. Yeah.
And I'm like, and now my brother has to just go on for hours and find someone and then come back and find my exact location.

Speaker 4 That is so scary. Like, I was like, oh, that's, that's how you die in the middle of nowhere.
That's why you'd never leave someone by themselves. No.

Speaker 4 This is so.

Speaker 2 You see the Grand Canyon.

Speaker 4 Lots of people die in the Grand Canyon. Oh my God.
Yeah. Well, it's a hundred degrees.
And

Speaker 4 it's treacherous.

Speaker 4 This is maybe the dumbest story I've ever read on this.

Speaker 2 I mean, everybody was pretty...

Speaker 4 There's a lot of stupidness, but these experienced hikers.

Speaker 4 Leaving someone by themselves who they know is an inexperienced hiker is the craziest.

Speaker 2 Sounds like they weren't experienced because if they were, they would never leave someone behind. That's true.
They trained, but I don't think they're. They trained for themselves.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I don't even know how they could walk off and be fine with it.

Speaker 2 I bet she was embarrassed and was like, please go. Totally.
And even if it gets to that point, it's like, no.

Speaker 4 But it's just a hardline rule. It's a hardline rule of you just don't do that.
Yeah. Especially, especially these conditions.
100 degrees?

Speaker 4 I don't care where you are. You could be like

Speaker 4 anywhere. And if it's 100 degrees, you're not going to leave someone behind.
Like, it's.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And also, like, if she was under-equipped, what did they leave her with?

Speaker 4 Yeah, well,

Speaker 4 they said they didn't, until they got back to the hotel room and saw that most of her food was there.

Speaker 4 Most of the water and food was there, that they were like, oh, she must not have brought anything.

Speaker 2 Well, didn't they all leave together? Didn't they not checking on her at all before you left? Like,

Speaker 4 I just, this is just shocking to me. Just weird.
They just say no to this person. Like, why did you do any of this? They, they kind of just seem like they don't give a shit about her at all.

Speaker 2 No, because this is their dream to do this hike. They've been training for it, and that's all they cared about.
But then say no to this person. Not that I'm in excusing what they did.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 But say no to her then. When she's like, can I join the hike? It's two weeks out.
It's just like, no, they can't.

Speaker 2 But how old are they?

Speaker 4 It doesn't say their ages.

Speaker 4 It doesn't say their ages.

Speaker 2 I'm going to guess late 20s. Yeah, me too.
Early 30s.

Speaker 4 But like, obviously this wouldn't be the same level, but like,

Speaker 4 imagine if you were like training for a marathon and then like a week before, I'm like, yeah, can I join? It would just be like, no, man.

Speaker 2 Mile one. You're like,

Speaker 2 go on without.

Speaker 4 Yes, you can.

Speaker 2 Yes, join, Shay.

Speaker 2 Some comments here. I know what that means.

Speaker 4 When you were noticing she was eating salad, I would have stopped her immediately.

Speaker 4 Better yet, don't invite people to go on difficult trails that you don't know are experienced enough to have the long endurance required. Why not make sure she packed her food and water?

Speaker 4 So many opportunities here to back out or advise. Since you did invite her and have her as part of your group, you also took on the responsibility of making sure she doesn't die.

Speaker 4 Never leave your team on the trail. Take her back up, send her to the hotel, anything except just leave her.
You're the asshole. Next time, don't take people with you on potentially deadly hikes.

Speaker 2 Whoa, mic drop.

Speaker 4 So true. Someone else said, you're the asshole for trying to do a rim to river and back day hike in June.
That's really dangerous. Whoa, that's right.
Yeah, the hike itself sounds insane.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Someone else said, you're the asshole. That's how people die at the Grand Canyon.
You shouldn't have let her come. If you let her come, you don't ever abandon someone like that.

Speaker 2 I fully agree. Whoa, getting roasted.

Speaker 4 Once you say yes, they are your responsibility. You're fully responsible for them.

Speaker 2 They have so many opportunities.

Speaker 2 That exact hike in my cats. That must have been a hike that I took.
Must have been the one.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I did that barefoot and it was easy.

Speaker 2 It was actually pretty easy. I was six.
I climbed. And I'm pretty sure it was 110 degrees when I did it.
Yeah, which is crazy.

Speaker 4 And the Colorado River was rushing, so we had to swim across. And I went in, fucking nose-dived in there.
Yeah, and I did it no problem. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it was pretty easy. I even caught fish while I was down there.
Oh, with my teeth. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it was like 150 degrees.

Speaker 2 That was crazy.

Speaker 4 I didn't have any water, but I was fine. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So, anyways, what's going on with these?

Speaker 4 Oh, so dumb.

Speaker 2 Is there an update? No. They got heat stroke from all that roasting.

Speaker 4 Yeah, baby.

Speaker 2 Straight up. Nice.

Speaker 4 I can't believe that, dude.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's. That is dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.
So dumb. That's why when people are like,

Speaker 2 you know, in Kauai, speaking of Kauai, you know how they put on the rocks, like, how many people died in this area? Yeah. That's what they do.
And

Speaker 2 in attractions, they're like, this is how many tourists have died here. Good luck.
They're not, because they're just like, don't do dumb things. Yeah.
But so many people do.

Speaker 2 And then those like beautiful parts of nature that is Kauai get shut down.

Speaker 2 And it's just, I don't know.

Speaker 4 People underestimate nature.

Speaker 4 I think hiking especially people underestimate because if you do it right and most of the time hikes feel can feel very chill and very like oh how could that be dangerous? That was such a nice day.

Speaker 4 Yeah. But it's like one small thing goes wrong and a hike turns into the deadliest shit you've ever dealt with.
Yep.

Speaker 4 No, when my brother and I got lost and it started off very dumb, it started off with, Our camp is probably down there, so if we cut off the trail here, cut to 12 hours later us hiking.

Speaker 2 That's so scary. He straight up did Donner party.

Speaker 4 Dude, actually, it was so dumb. And ever since then, it's like, never.
Never?

Speaker 4 I don't care.

Speaker 2 Don't go off trail. No.

Speaker 4 Ego will get you killed. Yeah.
Hike.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 4 Moving on to our next story. Our next story is an old one.
Oh. A 10-year-old story.

Speaker 4 But sometimes these old ones are the craziest.

Speaker 2 He's going to be talking about watching the Big Bang theory. Yeah,

Speaker 4 okay. We're watching Game of Thrones.
This show is always going to be good.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 This comes from our relationships.

Speaker 4 This is a 24-year-old man. My girlfriend, who's 21, wants to go on an out-of-state camping trip alone with another guy who's also 24.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Hot.

Speaker 2 Got it. Hot.

Speaker 4 So I love my girlfriend, and I do trust her, but every girlfriend I've ever had has cheated on me, and I'm terribly insecure about her spending alone time with someone in a situation like this.

Speaker 4 We've been together together for two years now. I met her my senior year of college because my college town was her hometown.

Speaker 4 I moved up to her college town to live with her after I graduated and I found a great job there.

Speaker 4 For months she's been talking about us going to Maine to camp for a week for vacation with one of her best friends, let's call him Kyle, and his girlfriend.

Speaker 4 I've never met Kyle since my girlfriend lives two hours from him now, but she was very open with me when I asked her about him. He's been one of her closest friends since middle school.

Speaker 4 They liked each other for a bit through the years and the summer after she graduated high school she had sex with him, but it never went anywhere because she was going to school and he ended up meeting this girl, his current girlfriend, let's call her Anna, soon after.

Speaker 4 They've been together since. So I was all down for a couples trip.
Well, recently I found out the week they had planned I'm being sent out of state for business and can't take it off.

Speaker 4 And now Kyle's girlfriend can't go either, so it will just be my girlfriend and Kyle on the coast of Maine camping and spending alone time together for a week.

Speaker 4 I asked her what Anna thinks of this and she said she's only met Anna a few times, that she knows my girlfriend and her boyfriend had a sexual past, but that it's okay because she trusts him and knows how excited my girlfriend and him are to catch up and see a new state.

Speaker 4 I want to tell her no, but I can't be that boyfriend.

Speaker 4 It's the only week she has off between summer and fall semester and she said her friend Kyle is moving to North Carolina for a new job in September, so she will probably not see him for a long, long time.

Speaker 4 It wouldn't be fair to expect her to stay home her only week off from school because I have to go on a business trip either.

Speaker 4 But I can't help but feel it's unfair to me to run off with an old flame/slash current friend. It just seems really off to me.

Speaker 4 I've never met this guy, I don't know his motives, and he's going to be sleeping with my girlfriend and our dog in a tent for a week.

Speaker 4 How do I tell her I don't want to go alone together without being a controlling douche fuck? Thanks, Reddit.

Speaker 2 Thanks, Reddit.

Speaker 4 Look, here's the thing, though.

Speaker 4 I get saying it's

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Speaker 4 It's wrong to be like, you can't go on this trip. I'm telling you, you can't go.
It's also okay,

Speaker 4 I think, for him to say, hey,

Speaker 4 I'm letting you know how I'm feeling. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm feeling really uncomfortable about that.

Speaker 2 I think he should.

Speaker 4 You slept with this guy, and you guys are about to be in the woods together for a week.

Speaker 2 For a week.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 2 That makes me feel a little weird. It makes me feel a little bit.

Speaker 4 Does it not make you feel a little weird, too?

Speaker 2 No, I think he's not. Because if I'm in her position, I'm not going on this trip.

Speaker 4 It's also, we're talking about, you know, and this isn't fair because plenty of people who are this age are not going to do stuff, but it's just when you're young, like, and figuring yourself out, it's just like they've been dating for...

Speaker 4 Like, fuck it.

Speaker 2 Let's just.

Speaker 4 They've been dating for two years, but it's just like...

Speaker 4 You know, they're so young and stuff. And I just, and he's been cheated on before.
It's just tricky and it's scary.

Speaker 4 I think, like, you're talking, we're coming from a a place of like relationships that we have a lot more security in, I think.

Speaker 4 But for him.

Speaker 2 It's definitely tricky. I think he should be on.

Speaker 4 I don't think he's wrong at all for feeling uncomfortable. No, no, no.

Speaker 2 No, I don't think he's wrong. I also wonder if he's not communicating how he's feeling about this whole situation at all.
If he's like, no, no, it's fine. Yeah.
It's fine. No, no, it's fine.

Speaker 2 And like, so I wonder if like she's, she's going along with it because she has no idea how uncomfortable.

Speaker 4 Exactly. And I think

Speaker 4 speaking anecdotally

Speaker 4 about young relationships, when I was younger in relationships, I think what was different was just I was bad at communicating. So I was operating out of a place of nervousness.

Speaker 4 And I think that's often the difference when we're reading stories about really young people is they're not communicating as clearly to each other or being as honest because they'll doubt themselves as he's doing.

Speaker 4 And so, yeah, I think that's possible that they're just not seeing what this looks like.

Speaker 2 Here's my thing: these relationships, it's like you want to trust your partner. Here's a perfect way to start trusting your partner.

Speaker 2 I don't know, you can't gain trust by being like, Don't do it, right? No, I do agree with that. I don't know.
Because I think, like, if he says you can't go, then he's acting on his insecurities.

Speaker 2 Like, yes, she's never done anything to him

Speaker 2 that's ever

Speaker 2 made him question

Speaker 2 her

Speaker 2 loyalty. Yes.

Speaker 2 So I think. So now he's already not trusting her.
Yeah. So like, I think like he just explains, he did explain, he's like, I've been cheated on a bunch before.

Speaker 4 So

Speaker 4 he's being very upfront of just like, I feel insecure in this area. Yeah.
And that's totally true.

Speaker 2 She hasn't cheated on him. Yeah.
It's not an ideal scenario.

Speaker 2 I recognize like, yeah, clearly they were at some point they were attracted to each other. And they had sex.

Speaker 4 And it only ended because he met his current girlfriend.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's tricky. It's a tricky situation.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Would you tell her not to go? No, but I would have questions. Like, are you guys going to be sharing a tent?

Speaker 4 What I will say, because I know it is more on the unpopular side, it's not unpopular. This is just, but the perspective on

Speaker 4 that I know at this stage in life after having been cheated on and stuff of just like, if your partner is going to cheat on you, they're going to cheat on you.

Speaker 4 And so I do understand what you're saying of like,

Speaker 4 if you cheat on me, then you were going to do that. And all right, this is over.
That's what I'm saying. I I get that, but that's also so scary to be like, all right, go off.

Speaker 2 And I don't think he should be like, go off.

Speaker 2 I'm strong and you should do. I don't think that.
I think he should tell her. He's like, I feel insecure about this.
I feel worried about this.

Speaker 2 I'm worried. I have questions.

Speaker 4 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you know what? If he's saying like, I also think it's okay, especially when you're young, I've said this, of just.

Speaker 4 If he's like, I'm super uncomfortable. And she's like, well, this is who I am and I want to go on this.
And I was like, maybe you're very different people.

Speaker 4 And maybe your perspectives on these types of boundaries and stuff are different. And it's okay to break up.

Speaker 4 You're so young. That's kind of like who cares? Like, if you guys are just not the same types of people, I understand you've been together for two years.
That's probably, you don't want to break up.

Speaker 4 You probably care about each other. But I don't know.

Speaker 4 I've said it a lot of like when you're really young and if you feel like who you're with is you're not seeing eye to eye. Now that's after communicating and talking about it.
Right. Talk about it.

Speaker 4 Make sure you're not on the same page. But if you talk about it clearly and then you're not on the same page, it's okay to be like, maybe this isn't for us.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 That's totally fine.

Speaker 4 Some comments here. Tell her you don't feel comfortable with her going alone with a guy.
Make it about your feelings, not about her cheating. Yep.
Opie responded, I tried this at first.

Speaker 4 She just brushed it off, kind of. I've known him most of my life.
We've had these plans for months.

Speaker 4 Just because you can't come suddenly doesn't mean I should rearrange my plans for my only week off for you when you won't be around anyways.

Speaker 4 I want want to go hiking and see the cliffs and coasts, not to elope with a good friend. Yep,

Speaker 2 that's probably exactly what she's thinking.

Speaker 4 Someone said, I don't know what you should do, but you are not alone in thinking this is shifty and weird. I too would feel extremely uncomfortable with this situation.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I don't think there's anything wrong with thinking.

Speaker 2 Like we said, they're going out alone.

Speaker 4 It's probably about as bad as it can get. Right.

Speaker 2 And also I'm trying to think of scenarios worse than this. And I hear a week, and I'm like, a week is a long time.
A week is a long time. Like a week and a week.
It's a long camping trip.

Speaker 2 Three nights.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 A week in a tent?

Speaker 2 My God. Fuck.
Oh, they will be.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Just to make sure, just to see. Do they still have it? I'm just kidding.

Speaker 2 Update?

Speaker 2 Update. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 The dog is single. Let's go.

Speaker 4 So I was overwhelmed with responses. Thanks, everyone, for the help.

Speaker 4 I decided to talk to her about my feelings and see how she dealt with them, telling her she needed to make it a group trip and not share a tent alone with him.

Speaker 2 Here's how it went.

Speaker 4 So she comes home and she's so excited to show me the new climbing gear she bought for the trip. Great.
I tell her we need to talk about the trip and Kyle and she looks a little worried.

Speaker 4 I preface the conversation asking more about her and Kyle's relationship. From what I gathered, they're closer than I thought, yet this actually reassures me.

Speaker 4 She was his rock when his dad died and he was hers when her best friend committed suicide.

Speaker 2 Jeez,

Speaker 4 he has a place in her heart as a lifelong friend that no one else can fill, and I have one in hers as a lifelong partner that no one else can either. I have to suck it up and live with that.

Speaker 4 She seems to really like Anna, and Kyle apparently really likes me from their talks.

Speaker 4 They're happy the other found a great person and realized they weren't compatible anyways and only tried it out out of loneliness, a loneliness thing after both losing important people.

Speaker 4 I can live with that. So I tell her I know it's impractical, but I don't want her sharing a tent with him.

Speaker 4 She says that's fine, completely reasonable for me to ask, and just wants to make me comfortable. She says she can try and pack lighter in other aspects.
Cool.

Speaker 4 So then I tell her the trip itself makes me uncomfortable, and why doesn't she invite someone else? She mentions that's okay. She can invite her friend Allie, who just got back from Colorado.

Speaker 4 They can just bring the four-person tent again for them and the dog if Allie wants to go. Oh, but Allie's a very hot, very promiscuous lesbian and was my girlfriend's first sexual encounter.

Speaker 2 Stop, stop.

Speaker 2 You know what?

Speaker 2 You know what? This man should be counting his lucky stars. His girlfriend sounds awesome.

Speaker 4 Wait, I have my other best friend, Chris Hemsworth.

Speaker 2 He comes in. We're ready.

Speaker 2 It's fine.

Speaker 2 I'll invite my other friend, Fuck Fuckley.

Speaker 4 Dr. Fuck Fuckley.

Speaker 2 Whoa, he's a doctor? He makes money. And he's single.
This is my other friend, Cassian from Akatar. Stop.
Do not bring that up right now. I just finished the book.
Oh, God.

Speaker 2 Don't even bring up his name. Contain yourself.
I can't.

Speaker 2 Uh, hmm, nope.

Speaker 4 Anyone else? Oh, yeah, her friend Taylor, maybe, but she'd be kind of a drag. Oh, that's okay.
You used to hook up with Taylor, too.

Speaker 4 At this point, I realize it boils down to the fact that I am jealous and I don't want my girlfriend alone with anyone who is attracted to her.

Speaker 4 Not because I don't trust her, but because I have this fucked-up mentality that I have to prove myself and be there to claim her or something.

Speaker 4 If I want this relationship to work, I have to force myself to get over that. This trip will help.
So I tell her that, and she insists she doesn't have to go if I'm really that insecure.

Speaker 4 We can take baby steps and work on it together. No, I say, I want you to go.
Enjoy your only week off. You earned it.

Speaker 4 So we decided we are going to drive down there next weekend to Kyle's. We're going to all hang out and properly meet, eat some dinner, drink some beers, play cards against humanity.

Speaker 4 Then Kyle and I will go out to the bars and get to know each other and she and Anna will do whatever they want to do. If I don't like him, I tell her and we call it off.

Speaker 4 I think this will really help and make me comfortable. In the end, my girlfriend's sexual past makes me uncomfortable, but I'm sure mine from my fraternity days scares the shit out of her too.

Speaker 4 But just like I only have eyes for her now, I know it's the same.

Speaker 4 She's still not going to sleep in the same tent as him and said she can probably rent some single tents from the University Outdoors Club. Way cool.

Speaker 4 You guys were all divided on whether to ask her to stay or let her go, but I think we found a good compromise to make us all feel better and still let her go.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 4 I mean, hey, look, he made his decision. We don't have another update, so we don't know what happened.

Speaker 2 I will say, I'm proud that he came to that on his own. He literally had to verbally talk it out.
Yeah. And then it's, it's kind of what we said in the beginning.

Speaker 2 He's going to let her go because he has to move on from this stuff.

Speaker 4 I think it's, okay, I will say, maybe I'm wrong for this, but I think it was a little crazy that they were planning on sharing a tent before he asked her.

Speaker 2 I kind of agree. It's like, we don't have to share a tent.
It's like, you were going to share a tent. I'm like, get your own tent.

Speaker 4 I've never, I've never had this type of situation. I've never, so for me, this is all hypothetical.
I'm very curious what our commenters will think, what they would do in this type of situation.

Speaker 4 So let us know.

Speaker 2 Let us know.

Speaker 4 Move on to our next story.

Speaker 4 This comes from relationships.

Speaker 4 I, a 29-year-old woman, am traveling overseas to meet my online boyfriend,

Speaker 4 a 38-year-old man, in a week. He just said he had to cancel.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because he's 65 and his name is Bob.

Speaker 2 And he lives in Carolina. Bob! Come on! We gotta go! He's like, I'm meeting my girlfriend.

Speaker 2 Sorry.

Speaker 4 I met someone online through our PenPals about five months ago. It started off getting to know each other, and it turns out we had a lot in common and we were really compatible.

Speaker 4 I think it's safe to say we fell for each other. It quickly turned intense and we shared every single intimate detail about each other.

Speaker 4 We both were in serious relationships that fell through, but some time had gone by for us.

Speaker 4 My seven-year relationship ended about 10 months ago, five months before we met, and his four-year relationship ended four months before we met.

Speaker 4 We text all day, every day, and FaceTime for two to three hours every night, save for maybe one or two nights a week. He lives in Ireland, I live in the US.

Speaker 4 I found an incredibly priced flight to visit him. We were both so excited and maybe a bit rash, I booked the flight only after two months of knowing him.

Speaker 4 He told his family about me, shared photos of his family, and we planned all that I am going to do and see with him.

Speaker 4 At 5.30 this morning, I received a video message and a long text that his ex-girlfriend was in a serious car accident and that he would have to cancel.

Speaker 4 I've begged him not to, and I am trying to be supportive of what he is going through. So far, at most, I've only gotten that he will try, that he needs to sort this out.

Speaker 4 I'm freaking out that in seven days I will be in a country where I don't know anyone. Do I cancel the flight?

Speaker 4 I've been telling my friends about going on a trip, not really saying that I'm meeting someone. I have no idea what to do now.
I feel sick. I feel like a fool.

Speaker 4 I feel like everything he said to me was a lie. What should I do?

Speaker 2 Fuck this.

Speaker 2 I mean, I think this is the perfect opportunity to do a solo trip. I mean, Ireland, plenty of green grass.
Yeah. You know, check out the Guinness Factory.

Speaker 2 It's a lovely day for Guinness. Yeah, I mean, like, I've never been to Ireland.

Speaker 2 I think, like,

Speaker 2 make a solo trip out of it. Fuck that guy.
Go on,

Speaker 2 yeah. Also, like, if he is telling the truth about his ex-girlfriend getting in a car accident, that's really scary and sad.
Yeah, it could be real.

Speaker 4 I mean,

Speaker 4 I'm a little suspicious.

Speaker 4 I don't know. You know,

Speaker 4 they did say they were FaceTiming. Yeah.
So he... She's a real person.

Speaker 2 He's a real person. Yeah, we know that.
He just always has a filter. But the problem is when you're...

Speaker 4 I mean, and I've never been in a long-distance relationship, so I'm not experienced in this.

Speaker 4 A lot of them work out and are real, but it's just, there's also the element of like,

Speaker 4 you don't know him in person. Is what he's telling you the truth?

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 4 That is the possibility here.

Speaker 2 I think she should go on this trip.

Speaker 4 Absolutely. But not plan to, not care if she sees him or not.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. There's plenty of stuff to do in Ireland.
Enjoy the. But how soon is

Speaker 4 that in seven days? So she has seven days until

Speaker 2 or she could cancel it and save for when things calm down a little bit and not spend all the time.

Speaker 4 I think if she can get her money back.

Speaker 2 If she can get her money back.

Speaker 4 If she can get her money back, I would cancel. Because

Speaker 4 go on a solo trip, but like cancel this and then plan a trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 Okay, comments. I'll be honest, his ex-girlfriend being in a car crash a week before you come over shouldn't affect his ability to make time for you, even if he was to go out and see her.

Speaker 4 From what I've seen of people in online relationships, there is often one party that bails approaching a meet-up date as things are suddenly to become real.

Speaker 4 This is a big possibility, but I'm not saying it's definitely the case. I definitely wouldn't cancel unless you can get a refund.

Speaker 4 You could use this time to explore the country by yourself and turn it into a good empowering experience.

Speaker 2 That's what you're saying. E-Prey love, bitch.
Yeah. Eat prey love in Ireland.

Speaker 4 Someone else said everything he said likely was a lie since this is a classic catfish line. Just because someone can FaceTime you doesn't mean every other thing about them isn't bullshit.

Speaker 4 I'm sorry this happened. I'd still take the trip and have an excellent time.
Find things that interest you and go slash go do and see them.

Speaker 4 It's an awesome opportunity to see the world and I wouldn't pass it up just because the opportunity came from a shitty situation originally.

Speaker 4 If he's lying about all of it and it's like, she's FaceTiming him, he's just like, oh yes, I'm here in Dublin.

Speaker 2 And she's like, my Irish boyfriend is so cool. Like, yes, I'm drinking again.

Speaker 4 Like, that's all he does.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I'm eating Lucky Charms.
It's like, no, that guy's from Kentucky. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 He's like, look, I'm really sorry.

Speaker 2 There's a filter of a fucking leprechaun hat on. Stop.
Yeah. Yeah.
Do they even have Lucky Charms in Ireland? Probably not. Probably at those those, like, they have like specialty spots.

Speaker 4 He's going off the only things he knows. He's like, I'm doing.
He likes watching Train Spotting. He's like, Heroin.

Speaker 2 Well, that's now that's Scotland. Oh, that's Scotland.
I haven't seen it. I mean McGregor.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he gets it wrong. She's like, wait, that's Scotland.

Speaker 2 He's just like,

Speaker 2 and then it's like, Bab, come upstairs. She's like, okay, honey.

Speaker 4 He's just saying quotes from Banshees of Inisharan. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's just like, wait. She watches the movie.
She's like, that's all. Hold on.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 2 Update. Yay!

Speaker 2 The guy was Barry Keegan. Oh, my God.
I mean, that'd be pretty. He's single now.

Speaker 2 Yeah, him and Sabrina broke up. Uh-oh.
She's touring, and she can't with him right now. Wow, never could have shot her.
So people are like, so what happened?

Speaker 4 So what happened with that boyfriend? She's like, he's so tough, not a real person.

Speaker 2 Jesus. Sorry.
I had to. All right.

Speaker 4 After my post, I FaceTimed him to say what I wanted to say and end things. He tried to get me to postpone my trip and even tried to give me money to make me less mad at him.

Speaker 4 I told him whatever we had was over as I could no longer trust him. He cried, which made me feel weird.
I wished him and his ex the best and ended the call. I went on my trip and had a top-class time.

Speaker 4 The Reddit community really astounds me sometimes. I received a lot of private messages of suggestions of things to do and see, and the trip to Ireland became a trip of a lifetime.

Speaker 4 In Dublin, I did meet up with a very kind Redditor who showed me around the city and came with me to a bunch of museums during my stay.

Speaker 4 I saw amazing sights, met a bunch of really cool people through my travels, and met a few really cute Irish boys.

Speaker 2 There we go. I was gonna say she could meet her own boyfriend there.
Exactly.

Speaker 4 I learned a lot about myself on my first solo trip abroad. I am pretty self-reliant and I did a lot of self-reflection.
This relationship was my first serious one after my ex and I split up.

Speaker 4 I think in my desire for closeness with someone I ignored a lot of red flags and downplayed my self-worth.

Speaker 4 I am now focusing on making real connections with people I meet in real life and have decided to stay away from anything long distance indefinitely.

Speaker 4 My first night in Belfast, I messaged him after I had what was probably too many beers. Damn you delicious Irish beers.
And he said he was sorry, but it was what it had to be.

Speaker 4 It didn't really seem sincere and it extinguished any romantic notions I had. Thank you to everyone who commented in private messaged me.

Speaker 4 It really made me excited for my trip and it was the best time.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 that is the best story ever.

Speaker 4 That ended up being the best story so far, yeah.

Speaker 2 I didn't realize she was going to immediately just cut it off. Yeah, that was extreme, but hey.

Speaker 4 There might have been other details. It might have all added up in her head.
Yeah. And she's like, I need to end this.
Well, for her. Good for her.
I'm jealous of her.

Speaker 4 I really want to go because I've heard Guinness in Ireland is raised.

Speaker 2 It is amazing.

Speaker 2 It tastes so good. And the Guinness Factory has this bar at the top that you can see the whole fucking city of Dublin.
Cool.

Speaker 4 It is really cool. I really want to go.

Speaker 2 Do you want to come with me next time I go?

Speaker 2 Yeah. I mean, I won't tell you.
Yeah, I'm going to be there. Okay.
Yeah, I'm not going to tell you, though. I'm just going to be like, hey, this Guinness plays pretty cool, right?

Speaker 2 And I'm like, there he is.

Speaker 4 Also,

Speaker 4 to all of our Irish viewers, I'm sorry for my accent.

Speaker 2 I'm not sorry. Yeah, I'm not.
I will not sorry. I will not.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 Okay. That wasn't class of you.

Speaker 2 That's what they say. I gotta watch Dairy Girls.
Oh. Oh.
Yeah. I need to watch that.
I need to watch that. Then I'm gonna come back with a sick accent.

Speaker 4 Just such a good accent.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 4 It is time for our last story, and it comes from Am I the Asshole? Am I the asshole for leaving a couple's trip in the middle of the night and ruining the vibe?

Speaker 2 Oh no, the vibe's been ruined.

Speaker 4 Leaving a couple's trip in the middle of the night?

Speaker 2 I mean, ruining sucks. Ruining a vibe.
Sucks. Sucks.

Speaker 4 Immediate action.

Speaker 2 Worse than death. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Did you ruin the vibe?

Speaker 2 Oh, no, dude. Narr.
The vibe must take.

Speaker 4 Oh, narr. Gotta keep the vibe intact.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
All right.

Speaker 4 This is a 26-year-old guy. Last weekend was my birthday.
Me and my girlfriend of two years, Kenzie, who's 26, and had plans to get dinner.

Speaker 4 She came to pick me up from work and her car was packed and my best friend slash his wife were in the back seat.

Speaker 4 To my surprise, she planned a whole weekend away to my favorite lake, rented a sick house on the water and invited all our friends.

Speaker 4 Her sister slash husband, my friend slash their SOs, and a few of Kenzie's friends all arrived Thursday night. It was awesome and I was stoked for the weekend.

Speaker 4 We met through my best childhood friend Grace, who's 26. Grace and Kenzie were college friends and I never thought I had a chance.

Speaker 4 Kenzie is beautiful and while while I'm not ugly, I've always felt like we weren't in the same league. No idea how I got her and I still don't.
Thursday night went well.

Speaker 4 Friday we swam and hung out at the house most of the day. We started drinking and playing games at night.
Kenzie's sister broke out this couples game.

Speaker 4 Basically, you pick one person in the relationship that fits the description or it has prompts to engage in debates between couples.

Speaker 4 Kenzie was pretty drunk by now because she's a lightweight and was drinking most of the night. It was fun until a question of what originally attracted you to your SO came up.

Speaker 4 Kenzie blurted out, he was safe and I knew he wouldn't cheat or leave me.

Speaker 2 Ooh,

Speaker 2 ouchie, ouchie. You know, I think the vibe got ruined

Speaker 2 right there.

Speaker 4 That's the vibe has been broken.

Speaker 4 The vibe has been shattered. I looked at her with a face and was like, huh? She then says, yeah, you seemed nice enough and after my abusive ex, I wanted a safer option.

Speaker 4 Things got really awkward and her sister quickly read a different card. I was really embarrassed and flustered, so I said I had to pee and walked outside.
I called Grace to tell her what happened.

Speaker 4 She was working and couldn't come, and she got upset. I told her I wanted to leave.
She said I didn't need to take that, and she would be there in the morning to get me.

Speaker 4 The night died down, and Kenzie tried talking to me in front of everyone, but I told her we'd talk about it another time. I decided to pack my bags and sleep on the couch.

Speaker 4 And before anyone woke up, I left. I texted Kenzie and told her that I didn't want to fight about what happened and ruin everyone's trip.

Speaker 4 So I was going home for the weekend and we could talk whenever she got home. She blew my phone up all Saturday, as did a few of my friends.
I decided to go golfing and just turn my phone off.

Speaker 4 I just didn't want to talk to anyone. When Kenzie showed up at my place Sunday, she was fuming, saying that me leaving early ruined the whole trip.
It was all anyone could talk about.

Speaker 4 And the whole vibe felt off because the birthday boy was gone. That she felt like a piece of shit and I didn't give her a chance to explain.
And she hardly even remembers what she said to begin with.

Speaker 4 She rented a boat, I love boating, and felt like I disrespected her efforts slash money to put together the trip. I told her that I didn't feel like arguing so I went home to avoid the drama.

Speaker 4 Some said that it was an asshole move to just bail and I should have stayed because she put a ton of effort into the trip. Am I the asshole?

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, I mean, he's kind of on some baby shit.

Speaker 4 It really sucks.

Speaker 2 All of that sucked. Like,

Speaker 2 there's no doubt, like, his feelings were obviously hurt. Yeah, rightfully so.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and that, I mean, that sucks to hear you're gonna leave the whole weekend all your friends took off time to be there for you you're punishing a lot of people also for what your girlfriend calls grace i think hey girl don't get involved like that

Speaker 2 i i think like i mean at the end of the day i think he felt

Speaker 2 so embarrassed in front of all his friends that he couldn't stand to be around him because he's probably thinking in his head

Speaker 2 they're all judging me for this and i just need to leave and so

Speaker 2 I don't think he realized that when you just dip out on something like that, your absence will be all people are going to talk about. Of course.
And that's going to make everything

Speaker 2 way, way worse. Oh, no, it's so much worse.

Speaker 4 This is this, it's the most dramatic move you can make. Yeah.
And to say, like, oh, I just wanted to leave to not cause drama. I'm like, you wanted to cause some drama.

Speaker 2 You caused

Speaker 2 so many.

Speaker 4 Maybe he wasn't. I think he was in his feelings.
He did it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he was probably in his feelings. He did, he did what what he felt he needed to do to feel better.

Speaker 2 He went golfing.

Speaker 2 I'm sure that was nice for him.

Speaker 2 But like when you're thinking like long game with your friends, like doing that is kind of a dramatic thing.

Speaker 2 I don't blame him for wanting to leave, but I think it would have been a much better idea for him to work it out there. And also,

Speaker 2 if he didn't leave, everyone would have forgot about that. They would have been like, ooh, awkward.
They'll figure it out. But I don't like him less.
But now it's like, why is he gone?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, because he was the safe option, and that's what caused this whole thing.

Speaker 4 It doesn't help your cause.

Speaker 4 Here's what I would have done.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 4 Your partner says, oh, yeah, you were the safe option, whatever. It's like, I'd be like, okay, yeah, for sure.
Everyone goes to bed that night. She wakes up.
What's that sound?

Speaker 4 They go out to the lake. I'm on a jet ski.

Speaker 2 Going around. I hit a huge ramp.

Speaker 2 I land on the ground, skid onto the beach, slide it.

Speaker 4 I'm wearing a leather jacket, nothing else.

Speaker 2 And you're backwards. You're backwards on it.
Your hands are on the back.

Speaker 4 You're backwards on a jet ski.

Speaker 2 I land. They're like, holy shit, dude.
You could have died.

Speaker 4 That's so nice. That's so dangerous.
I'm like, you're right.

Speaker 2 It is dangerous.

Speaker 2 That was my plan all along. Yes, I'm not the safe ski.

Speaker 4 Guess I'm not that safe, am I, babe? And she's like, oh my God, you're right. She hops into my arms.
We get back on the jet ski. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Right off into the sunset. Wait, just a leather jacket?

Speaker 4 Just a leather jacket. Winnie the pooing.

Speaker 2 Winnie the pooing. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Not very safe. No, no.
Not safe.

Speaker 2 No, no, no. Especially out in the woods, all those turkeys.
Or I was sitting there going like, wow, this dick's out. You know, I was thinking the whole time.
Not very safe. Not very safe.

Speaker 2 The whole time I was thinking, like, this is the perfect setup for a slasher movie. Oh, yeah.
That's what I was thinking.

Speaker 4 No, he leaves, and on the road heading home, they get murdered, and then something's on its way to the cabin.

Speaker 2 Here's what I thought he could have done or should have done. Go.
Other than, like, get murdered on the way back.

Speaker 2 But like, he should have just woken up and left for the day, like the morning, done his own thing in the morning, written a note and been like, hey, I just need to do some time and then come back after he cooled down.

Speaker 2 Not like leave fully. Yeah.
I would be really upset with him as well.

Speaker 4 He also turned off his phone.

Speaker 2 They didn't. He would have been unsafe.

Speaker 2 It's true.

Speaker 4 It's true. It's just, it was all, you know.

Speaker 2 I felt like what I think

Speaker 4 it comes across childish. It was really inappropriate

Speaker 4 what his girlfriend said to him. Absolutely.
Yeah. But what you do is you pull her aside the next day and you go, hey, that was so disrespectful, so mean.
Yeah. I felt awful.

Speaker 4 And also, do you still feel that way about me? Because if you do,

Speaker 4 like that changes my perspective on our relationship. Like have that serious convo.

Speaker 4 And then if you're there, you could also talk to your friends that night and be like, I can't believe she said that to me.

Speaker 4 Like you could, you could like talk to some of your friends too and get their perspectives.

Speaker 4 And then they'd all probably be on your side and be like, Yeah, and I don't know, this could have been handled.

Speaker 2 Yeah, get out of here.

Speaker 2 Here's the tricky thing, guys, is that she's she was in a really abusive relationship from what he said, and her first initial thought was, Okay, this guy's safe, which I know is such a buzzkill.

Speaker 2 There's a nicer way to say it, there's such a nicer way to say it, but she was wasted. Yeah, it's it's it's no, she fucked up, she definitely fucked up, definitely fucked up.

Speaker 4 It's definitely,

Speaker 4 I will say, like, because I don't know if he later gets clarification from her, but like, drunk words are sober thoughts, like, absolutely.

Speaker 2 They really are.

Speaker 4 But I also think we don't speak well when we're drunk. No.
No. So it could also be like, yes, sorry, I viewed you as safe.
I viewed you as like someone who actually gave a shit about me.

Speaker 2 Like think about it.

Speaker 4 Maybe there's maybe some better aspects to her point of view that we're not getting because she was so drunk. Right.

Speaker 2 Like, think about like this, this is saying the same thing.

Speaker 2 He was a safe choice, and he makes me feel safe. Yes.
It's the same idea. And it has

Speaker 2 one is incredibly disrespectful. So true.
And one is a really sweet thing to say.

Speaker 4 Even in her wording, it's like, I knew he wouldn't cheat on me.

Speaker 2 It's like, okay, that is actually a good reason for wanting to date someone. That's not true.
But the way she said it is such a bummer.

Speaker 4 Oh, absolutely. No, it hurt.
Reading that part hurts. But then he just continues to dig a hole for himself.
Yeah, he did.

Speaker 4 And feeling awful is okay, but there's just other actions.

Speaker 2 I think you were right. I think he was embarrassed to show his face to his friends.

Speaker 4 And it is embarrassing.

Speaker 2 It's really embarrassing, yeah.

Speaker 4 Comments. Well, the verdict was asshole.

Speaker 4 Hey. Comments, feels like you massively overreacted.

Speaker 4 That may be the truth for the beginning, but no one stays for that reason for two years and certainly wouldn't splash all that cash and spend all that time and effort organizing such a lovely weekend for you unless the emotions were true and deep.

Speaker 4 You are not the rebound after an abusive relationship. The rebound would have lasted a couple of weeks.
That's not to say it was hurtful, but if you care about her, work to make it right.

Speaker 4 I think that's very true.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 We also, the question was your first impression.

Speaker 2 Exactly.

Speaker 4 And first impressions...

Speaker 2 can be fucking wild and they're crazy. Sure.
Yeah. She also spent so much, she did this whole weekend for him.
And he loves to boat and he couldn't even get on the boat. I know.
It's so sad. Sad.

Speaker 4 Someone said, you're the asshole. You'd seriously bail on a birthday weekend in front of all your mutual friends because two years earlier she felt you were a safe option.
It seemed to work out.

Speaker 4 She went all out for you for your birthday. If you bailed over something so seemingly ridiculous, what would you do

Speaker 4 when you face actual tough times together? You won't discuss it. You'll just run away.
Yep. Absolutely.
No, this is a huge red flag. I love that.

Speaker 4 It's like, what she said is, it's like I I said, I'm like, oh, that would hurt me. But it is minuscule compared to what a lot of couples go through at some point.

Speaker 4 And it's like, he kind of showed himself there.

Speaker 4 And it is a scary thing. Bailing.

Speaker 4 It's a hard thing to get over, you know, especially if she went through a bad relationship before. She's seeing this and probably going to be like, oh, well.
Yeah. And yeah, and he left her.

Speaker 4 What I do think about that one comment is true is that, well, you left her there alone with all the friends and they have nothing to talk about but you who were is gone and ghosted and not responding so you probably damaged your relationship with everyone shit's about to get talked i mean look i think in relationships the the response is to communicate always and he chose to do the polar opposite of it and i just it's not always that i think you're wrong or you're bad i just think it's going to make things worse it's legitimately like self-sabotage totally because he's clearly extremely insecure about this whole thing and is his choice is to run away.

Speaker 4 I wonder if in his head he thought he was going to do this and everyone was going to feel so bad and be like, oh my god, this is the best. Oh my god.

Speaker 2 This poor guy. Wow.

Speaker 2 He's such a hero. In fact, he's not safe.
He's so dangerous.

Speaker 2 We're leaving.

Speaker 4 You can't do that.

Speaker 2 What a risk taker.

Speaker 4 Because when your brain tells you to do things like that, the result is never going to be what your brain thinks it's going to be.

Speaker 4 You just need to communicate.

Speaker 2 Well, you want to jet ski and just a leather coat.

Speaker 2 it's something just leather jacket look but you've got to admit you got to admit had he done that the situation would be better than where it's at now and they're like i just saved tell me the situation would not be better if he hits a wave and he's sitting on that craft that's not dangerous that craft danger right it's not safe watercraft They wake up the next morning.

Speaker 2 It's like his balls have exploded. Yeah, dude, that's not safe.

Speaker 2 Also, do you drape like one ball?

Speaker 2 Do you drape one ball to one side, one ball to the other side of the thing that you're on? Oh my god, he's bawless and safe.

Speaker 2 I have to. Do you suck them up before you

Speaker 2 get on it? I have a lot of questions about

Speaker 2 naked jet skiing.

Speaker 4 Look, I've never jet skied before. What?

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 2 Dude, you're such a safe. Everyone in this room just lost their mind.
I didn't. I just stared at you.

Speaker 4 I've actually, no, I've never jet skied. I'm not.

Speaker 2 It's a blast and also terrifying. Sure.
Never jet skied. Do you want to? Yeah, sure.
I'll jet ski. Get out there, buddy.

Speaker 2 I've never had the opportunity. Jet ski is like one of those things where it's like you're on, you're like, oh my God, I'm having so much fun.

Speaker 2 And then after like 15 minutes, you're like, it's the same thing.

Speaker 2 Ow, my whole body hurts. Oh,

Speaker 2 my family.

Speaker 4 We never, I've hardly spent time at lakes. Okay.

Speaker 2 Fair.

Speaker 2 You can jet ski in the ocean.

Speaker 4 I know, but like when we went to the ocean, we were like scuba diving or like snorkeling and stuff.

Speaker 2 We never, we weren't like a jet ski family yeah we gotta take you to a lake for your birthday yeah you want to go on your birthday buddy you want to go to your birthday let's go to this let's go where they went i i i did jet skiing up at big bear we can go big bear on the mountain you want to go big bear

Speaker 2 i've been jet skiing yeah there's a lake there's a lake there's a lake at big bear oh big bear lake yeah whoa someone hasn't traveled am i right no one

Speaker 4 Okay, okay. Thank you for watching.

Speaker 4 Let us know what other themes and subreds you'd like like to see on this show. Let me know your opinions on some of these stories, because these were some wild ones.
And we'll see you next Saturday.

Speaker 4 Goodbye.

Speaker 2 Bye. Bye.

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