Raye - Escapism (feat. 070 Shake)

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This episode contains explicit language and references to drug use.

Ray is a singer, songwriter, and producer from London.

Besides being an artist in her own right, she's also been a songwriter for other artists since she was a teenager. She's co-written songs for Beyoncé, Charlie XCX, and Ellie Goulding.

In 2023, she released her debut album. It's called My 21st Century Blues.
The first single, Escapism, became her first song to hit number one in the UK.

It's gone platinum in the US, the UK, and seven other countries, and it features guest vocals from 070 Shake.

When Ray was here in LA on tour, I talked to her about how she made escapism and what inspired her.

Anything please

have mercy on me, take this pain away. You're asking me my symptoms, doctor.
I don't wanna feel.

my name is Ray.

I was with Mike Sabbath, a producer, one of my best friends.

And I was like, we need to go to the middle of nowhere and write the rest of the songs for this album. So we're getting ready, we packed Mike's car full of gear.

and we set off on like a drive from LA to Utah. It was really cold and lovely.
Went to this little log cabin and then got ready to wake up the next day and start writing some songs.

I had split with my label and I'd kind of got my head around some of the shit that I went through and landed in a positive mindset of, okay, I'm going to make the album that I always wanted to make.

What was the situation with the old label and what you were doing versus what you wanted to do?

I think in the UK, and especially at the time, it's all about having hits and specifically with dance music. I was explicitly told, you know, until you have more big hits, you can't do your album.

So then I went on this whole journey of trying to do that. Just trying to make music that would be commercially successful.
Exactly. So I did that.
I did that for years. And I absolutely hated it.

You were writing those songs, though. I was creating within confines.
You know, you get a brief, you get the boundaries in which you need to create.

So I was ashamed of the artist that I was at that point in time. I hit my breaking point of like, I can't do this anymore.
I've wanted to be a musician since I was seven years old.

It's the only goal I've had in my life. But I got pushed to the point where I was like, I'll give up because fuck this.
This is horrible.

So I became independent and it happened very quick. And so when the time came that I was like, okay, I'm ready to like put an album together, I was like, Mike, let's do it.
I'm ready now.

And then I remember Mike played me this beat with synth strings

into the drums.

And this piano.

And I was like, turn it up, turn it up, max out the volume. And I'm bopping my head to these drums.
I'm like, oh my god, this shit is fire.

Can you tell me about Mike? You said he was your best friend. Yeah, he's one of my best mates.
I always say we met before Mike had facial hair. I think we were both 19 or 20, something like that.

It was like a little songwriting camp and Mike was there. And I walked into the room and he was making this beat that nearly made me throw up.
Because it was so good. Because it was so good.
Yeah.

It was a disgusting beat. You know what I mean? Like, oh, what the?

It was amazing. From then, we really clicked and we'd started making songs together.

I'd written lots of titles, of songs, of stories that I knew I wanted to tell.

And I had the title escapism.

Just needed the right sonic bed to lie those lyrics in. So when I heard the beat,

I was like, oh shit, it's time for this song.

What was the feeling you got from the beat? And what was the feeling of the story that you wanted to tell?

2019 was a really dark year.

I'd kind of cut out the people in my life that cared. I didn't see my parents at all that year.

I didn't talk to my sisters, my friends, my real friends, and was just trying to feel anything other than how I actually felt.

You know, and to be completely candid, being a suppressed artist, combine that with drugs and a sprinkle of alcohol, you get what is my definition of escapism.

I remember being out one of these nights, and I was literally in a car with, I didn't know any of these people, none of them gave a shit about me. I don't even think they knew my name.

Do you know what I mean? And they're just there in the back doing lines, like, oh my god, we're gonna go to this place, and I'm like, oh, like, where am I?

I just wanted to create that picture.

And so the first part that I wrote was just a heartbroke bitch. Hi Hill.

Six inch in the back of the nightclub sipping champagne. I don't trust any of these bitches I'm with in the back of the taxi sniffing cocaine.

I think the conscious decision you have to make, especially when you want to create something a bit more honest or personal, is the wrestle between lyricism and melody.

You know, you want melody, you want it to have catchiness, you want people to be able to connect to the melodies. But I'm a lyrics girl.

Like, for me, the story or painting the picture, like, I want you to close your eyes and see it all in your head. I kind of chose one note.
So, in that, I'm prioritizing the lyric.

It's not like there's a heartbroken child.

It's that I don't want you to sing it. I want the lyric to be the priority of the melody.
Dun dun dun dun dun na na na na. One note, one note, all about the story.

Drunk calls, drunk text, drunk tears, drunk sex. I was looking for a man who was on the same page.
Back to the intro, back to the bar, to the Bentley, to the hotel, to my old ways.

So you get a little la lay,

little sprinkly melody thing at the end.

And then when you get to the chorus, that I don't wanna feel, you get a little sweet, emotional breath. I don't wanna feel

how I did last night.

I don't wanna feel reality and I want to feel honest feelings. Those times are for me specific times in my life

where you're just trying to run away from reality as fast as you can. You'll take whatever is on the table, whatever's on offer, whatever you can get your hands on, wherever you can run.

Do you think you could have written about this period in your life while you were in it? Or do you think you needed to have this many years distance from it to be able to write this song?

I think it's complicated to say whether I could have, because at the time I didn't feel like I had permission to tell the truth in such an intense way.

Really, the artist that I've decided I want to be today

is explicitly honest, no matter what. You know, I'd rather be explicitly, uncomfortably honest than glaze over the truth.

Last night really was the cherry on the cake, been some dark days lately, and I'm finding it crippling.

Excuse my state, I'm as high as your hopes that you'll make it to my bed, get me hot and scissoring.

If I take a step back to see the glass half full at least it's the product two piece that I'm tripping in

I wanted to ask you about this one part that I just love and I didn't fully appreciate it until I got the stems just a heart broke bitch high heels six inch in the back of the nightclub sipping champagne

ah the harmony yeah can you tell me about writing that part Yeah, I do so many layers and so many harmonies and then it'll be a case of take it out. That's not take it out or keep it there.

It's nice over that one phrase. We'd originally done a three-part, four-part harmony over that section, but it took away the kind of grit of it.
It softened it. It didn't need to be soft.

In the back of the taxi, sniffing cocaine.

Juxtaposition is something I love in music. If you was to really zone into the lyrics, you'd be like, oh shit, this is a sad story.
But musically is the opposite thing.

So we went back to LA. I remember listening back to all the demos we'd made.
And Escapism was my favourite. I loved it so much.
But it had a lot of work to add and way more things I needed to add.

We needed to take the production to the next level. And so we woke up one morning.
We were kind of all slept at the studio. We'd been there for a couple of days.

I woke up, hadn't showered, I was just like, Can we just play escapism really quickly? So, there was a choir section. We were like, Did we keep this in? Did we take it out?

Was originally going to be the outros that bit.

I don't want to feel

after the

so we took this section and we kind of looped it round and round and round

And then done this thing where you can send it left, send it right, send it left. When you've got headphones on, it will rotate between ears.
Like, this feels so good.

I was like, we can't end it here. Like, we just got to keep going.
And Mike's like, whoa, I got a great idea. He'd like voice noted some thunder that he heard.

He'd held his phone up during a thunderstorm.

He's like, we've got to add this thunder in. I'm like, you're sick.
And I was like, fuck it, let's do a key change. Just pit shift everything.

I was just gassed all over again.

That bit of the end made me just imagine this blurry chaos just coming to a head. Musically, that's what it sounded like to me

and then i was like i need to rap at the end i was like fuck it i don't care i want to rap again

so in the morning in my pajamas just in the mic like lipstick smudge like modern art trying to figure out the right little eight bars to go in there

Lipstick smudge like modern art. I don't know where the fuck I am or who's driving the fucking car speeding down the highway sipping Mixing pills at the liquor car car, fuck these fins?

I left everyone I love on red.

Spilling secrets to the stranger in my bed. I remember nothing, so there's nothing to regret.
Other than this 4-4 kick drum pounding in my head.

I feel like it's the story of someone who's having a really bad night, dressed up as a good night. Yes.
And it just gets worse and worse and worse. Absolutely.

It is a bad night, but you don't realize it's a bad night because

you're in the product of escapism.

You're standing on top of the bar screaming and singing lyrics, both hands in the air. You're in a car with your hands out the windows like I'm in a movie.

Like, obviously, it's not a good night, but it feels like it.

The last thing that happened with the song is getting 070 Shake's vocal.

Her name is Danny, but she goes for 070 Shake. And she's one of the, in my opinion, greatest artists making music today

I met her a couple of years before

and you know when she's like oh you know, what music do you make? Whatever, I was like, Don't listen to anything that's released, you know, like you don't.

I really wanted her to think that I was good because I was such a fan of her. This was around the time, two, three months before I went independent.

I FaceTimed her and we were talking, and I was like, I was just explaining what a tough time I was having, and I was really struggling.

And her perspective is Ray, like nothing else matters, but the music. None of these other things matter.

You're asking me my symptoms, doctor. I don't wanna feel.

I don't wanna feel

how I did last night.

I don't wanna feel

how I did last night. Oh, doctor, doctor.
Anything

Is it ever hard for you to listen to this song because you did too good of a job capturing the experience of what was a darker time in your life?

I don't think I could have handled that story if the music didn't feel how it did. I think that's the whole point of what escapism is.

It's transcending above your sadness or your your pain for a moment in time. And that's what I needed this song to feel like.

It could never have been a ballad. Sad piano and strings and freaking sprawled out on the bathroom floor crying.
You know what I mean?

I would have been so sad. And that wouldn't have been honest.
That's not how I would want to hear an emotion like that.

And I think some people just like the song. So to anyone who just wants to listen and feel nice, just play it.

But to anyone who actually needs to acknowledge their pain, or the people who empathize, maybe, or listened a bit more to the lyrics in detail and found that they really related and needed it, like that, I think that's the whole point, isn't it?

I don't know how, but it makes something beautiful and so powerful out of something so ugly.

And that is something I'm proud of.

Coming up, you'll hear how all of these ideas and elements came together in the final song.

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And now, here's Escapism by Ray, featuring 070 Shake in its entirety.

Sleazing and teasing, I'm sitting on him. All of my diamonds are dripping on him.
I met him at the bar, it was 12 or something. I ordered two more wines, cause tonight I want him.

A little context, if you care to listen, I find myself in a shit position. The man that I love sat me down last night, and he told me that it's over, done the decision.

And I don't wanna feel how my heart is ripping. Back, I don't wanna feel, so I'll stick to sipping.
And I'm out on the town with a simple mission. In my little black dress, and this shit is sitting.

Just a heartbroke bitch, high heels, six-inch. In the back of the nightclub, sipping champagne.

I don't trust any of these bitches I'm with in the back of the taxi, sniffing cocaine. Drunk calls, drunk text, drunk tears, drunk sex.
I was looking for a man who was on the same page.

Back to the intro, back to the bar, to the Bentley, to the hotel, to my own way.

Cause I don't wanna feel

how I did last night.

I don't wanna feel

how I did last night.

Have mercy

Last night really was the cherry on the cake. Been some dark days lately, and I'm finding it crippling.
Excuse my state, I'm as high as your hopes.

That you'll make it to my bed, get me hot and scissors. If I take a step back to see the glass half full, at least it's the part of two-piece that I'm tripping in.

And I'm already acting like a dick, know what I mean. So you might as well stick it.
It's a hard brush, bitch, high heels, six inch in the back of the nightclub, sipping champagne.

I don't trust any of these bitches I'm with in the back of the tuxi, sniffing cocaine. Drunk calls, drunk text, drunk tears, drunk sex.
I was looking for a man who's on the same page.

Back to the intro, back to the bar, to the Bentley, to the hotel, to my old ways.

Cause I don't wanna feel

how I did last night.

I don't wanna feel

how I did last night.

Anything please

have mercy on me and take this pain away. Just give me my symptoms, don't talk.
I don't wanna feel

it fear.

Like I felt last night,

I don't wanna feel

I felt last night.

Yeah, peace with the things you can't change.

I was naked when I leave, and I was naked when I came

out of reach, out of test. Too numb, I don't feel no way.

So stuck, so what?

Street small, but it goes both ways.

Subtle,

you're one.

She never escaped.

Sunset and lost.

I don't wanna feel

how I did last sign.

I don't wanna feel

I'm under the last time I'm not the

thing, please. Doctor, God have mercy on me.

You're skinning my sentence, doctor. I don't wanna feel.

I don't wanna feel

bodily.

I don't wanna feel

bodily.

I don't wanna

Lipsticks much like Motano I don't know where the fuck I am who's driving the fucking cars peeping down the highway sippin' mixing pills at the liquor car fuck piecing fit.

I lost everyone I love on red. Uh-huh.
Spilling secrets to the stranger in my bed. I remember nothing, so there's nothing to regret.
Other than this awful kick drum pounding in my head.

For more info, visit songexploder.net slash ray. You'll find links to buy or stream Escapism.

And if you like this episode, you might like Christine and the Queen's episode from 2018. Christine and the Queens and 070 Shake have also collaborated together.

You can find a link to that episode in the show notes.

This episode was produced by Craig Ely, Theo Balcombe, Kathleen Smith, Mary Dolan, and me. The episode artwork is by Carlos Lerma, and I made the show's theme music and logo.

Song Exploder is a proud member of Radiotopia from PRX, a network of independent, listener-supported, artist-owned podcasts. You can learn more about our shows and support our work at radiotopia.fm.

You can follow me at Rishi Hirway and you can follow the show at Song Exploder. You can also get a Song Exploder t-shirt at songexploder.net slash shirt.
I'm Rishi Keishiraway.

Thanks for listening.

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