Episode 919 - Michael Balazo

Speaker 1 Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark.
And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo!

Speaker 1 Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 919 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark.
And with me, as always, is a man who's got Halloween fever, Mr. Dave Shumka.

Speaker 1 I see, I told you. I'm a witch.
Now do it, Wolfman.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 that's Recola.

Speaker 1 You're good as any sound effects playlist. That's good stuff.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, now seriously, this is Dave. Graham, you had like a keyboard that had a bunch of buttons.
Wait, Frankenstein.

Speaker 1 Fire bad.

Speaker 1 Classic line.

Speaker 1 Uh, mummy? You're giving Give me a mummy. Could you mummy, please? Oh, you're asking? Okay.
Wait,

Speaker 1 brains. Problem.

Speaker 1 No new zombie.

Speaker 1 Hieroglyphics.

Speaker 1 Our guest today, return

Speaker 1 guest to the podcast, first time in person.

Speaker 1 Very funny comedian. He's recording his new album November 28th and 29th in Toronto at the comedy bar.
It's Michael Balazzo. Hello, Michael.
Hey, Graham and Dave.

Speaker 1 You scared the damn hell out out of me with all that Halloween stuff. It's really hard for me.
Do you have a go-to Halloween impression you can do? Blob.

Speaker 1 Go for blob. Blob.

Speaker 1 No, I just turned to Adam Sandler doing the blob, I think. But that's okay.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is your fourth time. Yes.

Speaker 1 Remember, last time I was on, I was recording remotely and I was doing it at the office where I was working, and it was so late that all the lights in the building went off.

Speaker 1 And so the last 20 minutes was me in the dark. I truly.

Speaker 1 scary.

Speaker 1 All of our Zoom episodes blur.

Speaker 1 The whole pandemic has just been like one long.

Speaker 1 But it's nice to have you here in person. Yeah.
Yeah. So happy to be here.
Should we get to know us? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Get to know us. Michael, I did a show with you last night.
Yeah. Very, very funny.

Speaker 1 I've only seen you perform once before, just a few minutes of comedy. So this is nice to see you do a a whole set.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 There's a bit at the end, but I don't know if it should ask you about it because you're going to record it on an upcoming album, so I don't know if it should. Well, I won't, I won't

Speaker 1 ask me, ask me anything. Oh, okay.
Change my mind.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Jeez.

Speaker 1 He's not that guy, though.

Speaker 1 Change My Mind wasn't

Speaker 1 Charlie Kirk. Oh, so what was on his? Okay, his thing was...

Speaker 1 I don't know his thing.

Speaker 1 Speaking of things that blend together, when I heard Charlie Kirk was killed, I was like, which one is he?

Speaker 1 Me too. Is he louder with Crowder? Is he Ben Shapiro? I've got a deck of cards that have them all on it, like

Speaker 1 the ones from 1992 with all the...

Speaker 1 I think those were from the 2000s Iraq War. Right, yeah.
I bought a set of those that had like...

Speaker 1 Did it have chemical alley? No, well, it had like...

Speaker 1 It was from Newsmax, I think. And it was like...
Someone bin Laden was in it, I assume. I think it was American Americans, like Michael Moore and Hillary Clinton who were like anti-Iraq war.

Speaker 1 Rosie O'Donnell's got to be on that.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 God, where are those?

Speaker 1 I was going to leave them to my kids. 26 each.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 you have a very, very funny bit about briefly dating an adult film star. True.
And I just was, how did you guys meet? So I was in LA about 10 years ago, 12 years ago, and

Speaker 1 it's a lonely city if you've spent any time there and you don't have a, you know. I've seen the movie Drive.
Yes, my experience was basically the same.

Speaker 1 But I was at a bar one night on my own and in my neighborhood. And this never happens to me, but like a woman just sat down across from me and was like, hey, just struck up a conversation with me.

Speaker 1 She was attractive and friendly. And then...
And so were you. Well, thank you.
I like to think so. And then I told her I was a comedian.
And then she was like, oh, my God, you're a Canadian comedian.

Speaker 1 And she ended up knowing one of the kids in the hall and had just been in Toronto with one of the kids in the hall at a strip club.

Speaker 1 Don't name names. I can guess.
Scott Thompson.

Speaker 1 No, not Scott Thompson. But

Speaker 1 then she got excited and we were drinking. And by the end of the night, She was like, we have to write a screenplay together.
We need to do shows together.

Speaker 1 She told me we have to go to Paris together the next week. And then we like made out that night.
And then we had like two other dates. The final date was on Valentine's Day.

Speaker 1 And as I got to know her more, I got more and more anxious because I was like, this is

Speaker 1 probably not going to end well. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did you know that she was an adult film? Oh, yeah, she told me

Speaker 1 in the first few minutes. And I like, I went home that night and I looked her up and saw her doing all of the classic things.
And you were like, oh, you just made out? Yeah.

Speaker 1 So she wouldn't go all the way with me.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 all of my friends still think that I'm like the biggest idiot for not

Speaker 1 sleeping with an adult film. So she was very nice, by the way.
Very, very nice. And she was like, we've got to write a screenplay.
Okay. So this guy's delivering pizza.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's, I've, I've known people that have worked in adult film on the male side, but I don't think I've ever met somebody on the female side. Yes.

Speaker 1 It was my first time, too, and I was like, this seems unlikely for my life's trajectory. Yeah.
That I am dating an adult film. What would happen if you had stayed?

Speaker 1 What would your life look like?

Speaker 1 Probably a mustache. Mustache? How many

Speaker 1 different sort of

Speaker 1 Canadian alternative comedians date

Speaker 1 porn women? Or I guess it could go, you know, gender, whatever gender. Yeah.
I mean, there was a

Speaker 1 and that have like long, like, you know, 10-year relationships, get married. Howie Mendel did

Speaker 1 Jenna Javison. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Remember their sex tape? That was crazy.

Speaker 1 Put a glove over his head while they were doing it. It was a condom, to be fair.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was saying today, say on the podcast that I watched, like, America's Got Talent's 25th year anniversary show, and they're like, Terry Cruz is like, and we got one of America's greatest living comedians, Howie Mandel.

Speaker 1 And then they cut to him doing a clip where he's doing a helium voice. He's like, I go to the hospital,

Speaker 1 it's helium, one of our greatest living comedians. Yeah, there was a while where the

Speaker 1 America's Got Talent, maybe still, the hosts or the judges are none of them are American.

Speaker 1 It was like Heidi Klume, Sean Cretchin.

Speaker 1 I like the way you do that song there.

Speaker 1 Kofi Anon.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 Xi Jinping. Was it

Speaker 1 Simon Cowell? Simon Cowell is on it. And it's Mel B from the Spiced Girls.
British. And there's

Speaker 1 Heidi Klume. Heidi Klume's not on it anymore.
It's...

Speaker 1 I remember when she was coming up and she was on a magazine cover and like she wasn't a household name yet. So they

Speaker 1 the magazine cover said Heidi Klume, as in boom, boom.

Speaker 1 Nice.

Speaker 1 It was probably Maxim.

Speaker 1 No, maybe it is Heidi Klum.

Speaker 1 She's the one that I feel like she goes out first on all, like she puts the X down pretty easy. I think don't bore me.

Speaker 1 Fashion you'll

Speaker 1 see judges, right?

Speaker 1 Judges, not host. She used to judge Seal every time they kissed or made love.
She would be very harsh with her criticism. Simon Cowell, Sophia Vergara, Sophia Vergara, Howie Mandel, and Mel B.

Speaker 1 Was Manny from Modern Family also

Speaker 1 a judge?

Speaker 1 Remember Manny? Remember Manny? Who is Manny? He was a little boy. He's a little boy.
But he's big, but he's little. And now he's a man.
He's now boyi.

Speaker 1 Now that he's a man, he's changed his name to Boyee.

Speaker 1 Get it? He can date. Because he's probably of legal age.
He could date Sophia Vargara now

Speaker 1 if she wanted to, yeah. Or she dating was

Speaker 1 somebody, Joe,

Speaker 1 Manginello. Oh, right.

Speaker 1 From Magic Mind. Yeah, and he, I just remember Sophia Vegara saying, like, he wants to have more kids, but I'm done.
I'm sewing it up.

Speaker 1 So there won't be any little menagelellos running around. Will there be any Pentoleanos?

Speaker 1 But then Howard Stern was one of them for a while, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And like, he seems, he actually seemed like genuinely

Speaker 1 nice and like

Speaker 1 of all the people that would have been crazy, like Piers Morgan's obviously the worst, but sure.

Speaker 1 Howard Stern could have been the worst. So was David Hasselhoff at one point.
Right. I mean, at least Hasselhoff had sung and danced and acted in a way that maybe Piers Morgan hasn't.

Speaker 1 Can you pull up his Wikipedia? I just want to make sure he didn't sing and dance professionally.

Speaker 1 No, just amateur.

Speaker 1 Now, Mike, you... Mike, Michael.
Michael. Michael, you're coming from Toronto.
Does everyone there have Blue Jay fever? Everyone has Blue Jay fever. I left yesterday morning, arrived here.

Speaker 1 I was preparing for my show yesterday. I went to a bar to have two alcohol-free Heinekens.
They were showing the Jays game, and the Jays ended up, I think, beating the pants off of Seattle 12-2.

Speaker 1 They just won their bat.

Speaker 1 And wasn't the previous day also a spanking, but for the Spanish? It was an opposite spanking. Yeah, they've been doing opposite spanks there.
They made an agreement.

Speaker 1 Either or, and then the last game will flip for you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 At the time of this episode's out, we'll know the outcome of everything. Yes.
Are you Blue Jay Fever? Or are you just coasting off of James? Yeah, James has a real. He must be going nuts right now.

Speaker 1 He's going damn nuts.

Speaker 1 I'm coasting off his residual

Speaker 1 or excess Blue Jay fever. I'm not a huge baseball guy, but I, you know, go Jays, go, excess J.
Sure, sure. Yeah, most of the time.
Two games this past season,

Speaker 1 and they were, I think they lost both of them. Sure.
So

Speaker 1 little did you know they'd be in the contest. No,

Speaker 1 they didn't even hint that they would make it this far when I saw that's the key, though. They're trying to make you feel comfortable is when they get you.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they were nagging you.

Speaker 1 Don't bother covering any more games.

Speaker 1 Um, you mentioned James. Uh, James is one of your co-hosts on the Evil Men podcast that I don't think we've mentioned yet.
Oh, yeah, we haven't mentioned the evil men podcast.

Speaker 1 You're welcome. It's a very funny podcast if you've never heard.
It's uh, it's Michael, it's James, it's Chris Locke. Yes, and then sometimes guests show up.
Yeah, Graham and I have both guested.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we've guested past guests, Jackie Pirico is a regular guest. Pirico, yes, and uh, your girlfriend from the UK is a regular guest.
Suze Kempner. How many times has she been on?

Speaker 1 She must be the all-time. Maybe four.
I think maybe Jackie has done a few more just because she lives near where we live. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So Jackie's sort of the girlfriend of the show. She's the show's girlfriend.
Yeah. And it's serious.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 You mentioned

Speaker 1 on a recent episode that your girlfriend Suze subscribes to a dressage streaming channel. Yeah, that's a streaming service.
Yes. Called, So it costs more monthly than Netflix.
What?

Speaker 1 And it's called, she actually told me she subscribes to two.

Speaker 1 One is called Clip My Horse, which she tells me is an inside joke for the horse world. I don't know what it means.
Humans don't think it's funny, but the horses really like it. It's like clipping is

Speaker 1 getting their hair cut or something like that.

Speaker 1 Like a testicle? I would think clip, clop, clip, clop. I have a horse.
And plus video clip. So it's like,

Speaker 1 I don't know. But it does cost more than Netflix, which was funny because it doesn't even feature stars in movies and TV shows.
They see them on horses, though. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And the other one is, I forget what the other service is, but it's like she has two. So she spends at least 35 pounds a month

Speaker 1 on horse TV shows. I believe one of, isn't,

Speaker 1 doesn't Bruce Springsteen have a daughter who is like an Olympic horse rider? I think she did dressage, yeah. Have you ever seen a one-legged horse, you would sing to her.

Speaker 1 So whenever like a Bruce Springsteen song comes on, is your girlfriend like, hey, this is the guy who's the dad of

Speaker 1 my favorite horse rocker. She knows him through, she knew of the daughter first and was like, Hey, do you know that that girl has a famous father? He actually used to sing rock songs back in the day.

Speaker 1 And I had to be like,

Speaker 1 He's actually the boss. Yeah, and he still does.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 he sings and dances.

Speaker 1 What if Bruce Springsteen did

Speaker 1 an Oscar for the streets of Philadelphia? Bruce Springsteen does a tour, no guitar, no backing band. He just dances dances for two hours.

Speaker 1 To his own songs? To like whatever. He has headphones on.
He's just dancing to his own music. Whatever music he wants to hear.
That's pretty much it. That's Courtney Cox.
Come out and dance with him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Pierce Morgan's there as well. Break dancing.
Pierce Morgan's just trying to get his union card.

Speaker 1 I want to be a respected dancer. Is there a...
I know there's a stage actors, a screen actors union. Is there a separate

Speaker 1 Canadian dancers union? Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 We're called the

Speaker 1 Caddoos. Do you really want to know? I can find out.
Of course, I do. Why do you think I flew across the country?

Speaker 1 I'm going to ask my friend. Is your friend a dancer? My friend is married to a dancer.
All right. This might be a very insulting question.

Speaker 1 Can you dance at all? Are you a dancer? No, not at all. I mean, I have my own style.
If I'm

Speaker 1 at a bar and an ABBA song comes on, what's your style? Oh, Groove.

Speaker 1 I don't even know. Okay.
This is, I'm not trying to put you on the spot. No, there's no,

Speaker 1 I'm asking if there's a Canadian dancers' union, and it occurs to me there's a grave dancers' union. Oh, yeah.
Which was, of course, the album by Soul Association.

Speaker 1 I owned that album when I was a kid. I know everybody.
Runaway train, somebody to shove. Yeah.
The big black gold.

Speaker 1 Black gold.

Speaker 1 What fine? Would you fill up the tank? Let's move around!

Speaker 1 That was good. Yeah, that was Bruce Ringstein.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I just realized I don't know how I would describe my dancing, and that makes me nervous. I couldn't describe mine either.
Arms in, arms out. Arms.

Speaker 1 Arms out, wiggling around, yeah. I guess sort of like one of those blowy men.

Speaker 1 Oh, sure, yeah, yeah. What are they called? Blowing men? The car dealership guys? Oh, yeah, the wacky, wild, armed, inflatable men.
Not blowy men, who are the guys who hang out behind my house.

Speaker 1 I heard some whispering as I approached. Yeah.
I was like, what is that? I'm trying to get a blowy.

Speaker 1 Well, give a blowy. Either way.

Speaker 1 Is that a British? No, blower. Well, blower would be a British.

Speaker 1 Either a blower? Give us a blow-oh. Blowy.

Speaker 1 Is there a blowy?

Speaker 1 Do you need to text someone and find out the slang? What do you call it?

Speaker 1 Is there a blowies union as well?

Speaker 1 there i did see a very um when the blue jays were playing the yankees new york of new york yeah um

Speaker 1 saw a a

Speaker 1 anti-yankee pro blue jay t-shirt that was quite ribald i think i know the one

Speaker 1 what was it said one bj is better than nine yanks

Speaker 1 or something like that i guess that's true i'm doing the math in my head yeah

Speaker 1 it's like we yeah i don't know how it if you think about it logically like you receiving the BJ is better than receiving nine Yanks. But I'm also thinking is nine Yanks, is that

Speaker 1 completion or is that nine sessions? Nine sessions. Yeah.
Yeah. Like, because nine Yanks sounds pretty good.
Yeah. It's good.

Speaker 1 I mean, sure, I've got my, if you stamp my card every time, I'll probably get the 10th one free.

Speaker 1 I like, I love a t-shirt that just is made. in the moment of something.
That's like, it's hilarious. It's on point.
It's so funny for that exact moment in time.

Speaker 1 And then there were a lot of them post-COVID. There were a lot that you find at thrift stores, a lot of, you know, don't after one BJ is better than two positive COVID test results.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're a big

Speaker 1 thrifter. I'm a big thrifter.
Is there like a

Speaker 1 do you what do you see these things showing up? These

Speaker 1 Flavors of the month.

Speaker 1 The one that was the funniest to me, not funny in the terms of the story, but the guy, lead singer of Headley, disgraced singer. Jacob.

Speaker 1 Hoggy. Hog, hog.
Hugger. Hunker.

Speaker 1 When I went to Valley Village once, there was no less than 25 of those shows shirts that had just been dumped there. Headley shirts? Yeah.
Wow. And they just had them all batched together, too.

Speaker 1 They didn't, you know, try and sprinkle them throughout the store. It was just...

Speaker 1 Imagine, this is one of those time machine moments where if you got those shirts and you had a time machine, you could go back like 10 years, make a killing selling those t-shirts. I remember

Speaker 1 wearing those t-shirts.

Speaker 1 The king of fortune. The guy with 20 shirts.
People are just handing me money because I'm wearing all these Hadley t-shirts.

Speaker 1 When Graham and I made a, we once made a podcast called Our Debut Album, where we wrote and recorded a song. We wrote a song in an hour and then recorded it.

Speaker 1 At the place where we recorded the drums, it was like a rehearsal studio.

Speaker 1 One day we were there and Jay Arner, our friend,

Speaker 1 said, Oh, the guy from Headley, that's his hummer.

Speaker 1 So they must be rehearsing today.

Speaker 1 And then later, like

Speaker 1 around the same time, I had to go to a clinic to get, because I couldn't get in with my doctor. And the person at the clinic was like, all right, I'll give you this prescription.

Speaker 1 And I don't know how it came up, but she found out that I

Speaker 1 met this doctor for two minutes and she told me her daughter loved Headley. I don't know how it happened.
I see you showed up here in a hummer.

Speaker 1 That's like breaking the Hippocratic oath, isn't it? You're not supposed to do it. Do no harm, like no Headley.

Speaker 1 But she was like, Oh, my daughter loves Hedley. And I was like, Oh, I know where the lead singer sometimes is.
Okay, well, if you ever ever see him, here's my phone number.

Speaker 1 Calling your doctor. I don't remember what the.
Is the guy from Headley's across the street? Yeah.

Speaker 1 For our non-Canadian listeners, Headley was a Canadian rock band. Is a Canadian rock band? Well, maybe on hiatus for a bit.
The lead singer is disgraced because of sex. Sexual stuff.

Speaker 1 And it got his start on Canadian Idol. That's right.
Which was hosted by or co-hosted by past guest John Dore.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was John Dore. And then who was his Brian Dunkelman? He was the Brian Dunkelman.

Speaker 1 Ben Mulrooney. Ben Mulrooney.
Yes. Far right commentator, Ben Mulroney.
Is he now far right?

Speaker 1 Pretty much. Yeah.
I think he has a new show on CTV. I mean, we all assumed he was pretty right

Speaker 1 just from his lineage. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 But anytime you see that somebody's like involved in the entertainment industry, you're like, oh, they must be a liberal.

Speaker 1 Yeah, not Ben. He breaks all the rules.
I wouldn't say he was involved in the entertainment industry. Well, wasn't he peripherally? He was always talking about E.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did he host E-Talk or E.T. Canada? Oh, that's.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. I think he was E.
Talk.

Speaker 1 He was always dropping E on TV. Yeah, it was new for every show.
Canada has or had two nightly entertainment TV shows, at least.

Speaker 1 Mostly on America with a bit of Canadian stuff thrown in.

Speaker 1 Coming up this season on Emily of New Moon.

Speaker 1 Oh, yes. Please.

Speaker 1 I'm so sorry to do this, but we were talking about Hedley in

Speaker 1 to bring it to another disgraced Canadian musician. Here we go.
Have you guys talked about the drummer from the New Pornographers?

Speaker 1 Not specifically, but.

Speaker 1 What's going on with him? I know he's not in the New Pornographers anymore. And you know why? Oh, wait, no, no, no, no.
The original drummer left. So the most recent one,

Speaker 1 I think,

Speaker 1 if I have my timeline correct, he's also probably not in the band anymore because he was charged with

Speaker 1 the drummer from the new pornographers was charged with possession of child pornography. Oh, man, that headline.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was joking with my friend Joel.

Speaker 1 You usually get a joke about child pornography with your friends.

Speaker 1 We were talking about like maybe years ago when they were trying to come up with their band name, he kept going, like, I know what we should call ourselves.

Speaker 1 And they were like, no, we can't call ourselves the child pornographers. We need to put a different word instead of child, the new pornographers.
Yes. How about the old pornographers?

Speaker 1 No, no, no, that's awful, too.

Speaker 1 Band vote.

Speaker 1 That was, I know,

Speaker 1 yes, this does ring a bell, but yeah, it's not the original drummer who was also in Age of Electric and Limblifter. Right.
Oh, Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 But I hadn't heard that this, the new pornographers news doesn't necessarily. Even though they're from here.
Yeah. And I'm not trans.
They're not really from.

Speaker 1 They're from here, but none of them live here. Or the ones, maybe.
They formed here? They formed here with a bunch of...

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 when I worked in Canadian music

Speaker 1 on CBC, I just remember people being like, yeah, we can't like, we would try to like organize, you know, interviews with people and people would be like, no, none of them are here. Yeah,

Speaker 1 AC Newman lives in Brooklyn, and

Speaker 1 freaking Nico Case lives in, I don't know, Nashville. Let's say Nashville, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And hey, the drummer, I know they don't live here, but their drummer has this really cool hard drive.

Speaker 1 Now,

Speaker 1 I was wondering. Hard drive solo.
Oh, no,

Speaker 1 no, it's reformatting.

Speaker 1 Now, Michael, I was wondering this.

Speaker 1 Now, you, I don't, are you on any kind of, are you on Blue Sky or anything? I'm on Blue Sky, yes. And Instagram.
I used to follow you on Twitter. Yeah.
And I'm not on Twitter anymore.

Speaker 1 You were a good follow, too, on Twitter. Thank you.
And

Speaker 1 there was

Speaker 1 a tone to your tweets that was very like

Speaker 1 kind of making fun of earnest Canadians. Like, making fun of people who are like down home, like Canadian culture, Tim Hortons, which, by the way, you're drinking right now.

Speaker 1 No, you're going to ruin my brand.

Speaker 1 And then I always thought it was very funny because there is this, the surge of like pro-Canada, like earnest nationalism, not nationalism, patriotism in this country was always quite cringe. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 in the last six months or so, there's been a real

Speaker 1 surge in earnest patriotism.

Speaker 1 How are you dealing with that? Oh, it's my I've lost all business.

Speaker 1 Business has absolutely gone through in the toilet.

Speaker 1 I'll still find it cringe-worthy.

Speaker 1 The whole elbows up thing.

Speaker 1 You do a very good, like, rural Ontario Canadian guy voice. Hey, Mr.

Speaker 1 Trump, if you think you're going to stop me from listening to Spirit of the West or new pornographers, even though their drummer got in some trouble with the law, you got another thing, common buddy.

Speaker 1 He's still the best drummer out there.

Speaker 1 Show me an American drummer who's got arrested for child pornography as good as this guy.

Speaker 1 Now, I will point out that the guy who replay the guy you're talking about is American. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 I mean, oh, yes.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah, elbows down. He's like, I want him to be Canadian.

Speaker 1 As is Nico Case. She's

Speaker 1 from somewhere in Washington State. I think so.

Speaker 1 I believe she came to Vancouver and played in Cub or Mao. Yes.
Or both. And now Solo.

Speaker 1 And we love her for it. And we love her for it.
Absolutely. We love her, don't we, folks?

Speaker 1 Elbows up.

Speaker 1 Elbows up. Yeah.
What have you been doing to contribute to Canadians' elbows up?

Speaker 1 I've been podcasting like the Dickens.

Speaker 1 I've been performing stand-up comedy. I've been playing acoustic guitar

Speaker 1 in my apartment. You play very hilarious, funny songs.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 So in August, I did the Edinburgh Fringe Festival for the second time, a full run. And this year, I thought I would

Speaker 1 incorporate songs into my show because I hadn't played guitar, period, for like a few years. And I realized, like, oh, it's something I love to do.
And I.

Speaker 1 have written comedy songs in the past, so I'm going to do that.

Speaker 1 And I did them when I was rehearsing the show in toronto and then i brought it to edinburgh and i had about seven songs in the show by the end of the month that was one song

Speaker 1 because the songs were not working whatsoever with the uh audience in in edinburgh so i one by one took the songs out of the show did you have to travel with a guitar or do you get a guitar when you're over there so my friend mark Forward told me, he's like, just fly a cheap guitar over and then just leave it there when you're done so you don't have to like pay the

Speaker 1 luggage fee. And I was like, no, I don't want to break my guitar.
So I rented a guitar there. Right.

Speaker 1 It cost so much money that I hardly used it in the show and had to carry it to and from the venue in the heat every day. Just a bad decision all over.
Sure. Yeah.

Speaker 1 When I was the first time I flew over to the Edinburgh Festival,

Speaker 1 the flight going to Scotland went out of Newark and the plane was delayed. So there's this very small area for departures in Newark internationally.

Speaker 1 And so it was all filled with fringe performers, and it was the goddamn worst thing in the world. You know, someone bring out a mandolin and start singing.

Speaker 1 That is a thing about Canadian culture that drives me crazy.

Speaker 1 Every six months or so, it's like, you'll never believe what happened when this plane was delayed and a Newfoundlander brought out a fiddle on the plane and started singing about the ocean.

Speaker 1 And everyone's like, oh, it's amazing.

Speaker 1 And it's like a plane flying to Newfoundland as well. And it's like,

Speaker 1 you're going to hear this music

Speaker 1 before

Speaker 1 I would love to see a picture of the people on the plane of like one person with their nose buried in a book.

Speaker 1 I don't like this. They should have a button on planes where if that happens, you press it and the plane just explodes.

Speaker 1 Oh, by Jesus.

Speaker 1 Oh, remember when that guy was going to explode the plane with his shoes? Yes. He really screwed it over for the rest of us all those years, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then all the other people who were going to to combine a bunch of shampoo, travel shampoo bottles.

Speaker 1 I guess they were full-size shampoo bottles because you're still allowed to do it. Yeah, but you were used to it.
Yeah, I could carry your whole thing of perked plus.

Speaker 1 With the underwear bomber as well. Remember that guy? Oh, yeah.
And

Speaker 1 they made us take our shoes off after the shoe bomber, but they didn't make us take our underwear off

Speaker 1 at security after that happened.

Speaker 1 You know, it's easier if you just have your underwear pre-removed, everybody.

Speaker 1 This is the line where you have to. Well, they never know.

Speaker 1 They do have those

Speaker 1 things where you have to stand there sometimes and it gives you a little,

Speaker 1 it x-rays your body. Yeah.
And it gives you a score out of 10, bottom or not.

Speaker 1 And it,

Speaker 1 and you never know what they can see. But I always see them snickering.
I always tell them before I go through, I say, I know you're just doing your job. I know this makes the flight safer.

Speaker 1 but promise me you won't stare at my genitals when I stand there. Promise me that.

Speaker 1 They,

Speaker 1 one time I went through and I still had my belt on, and they were like, remove your belt, sir. So I gave them my belt, and my pants started falling down.
They're like, ha, yay.

Speaker 1 Then they gave me, like, they don't lock your ass.

Speaker 1 Sir, can you hold your pants up?

Speaker 1 Sir, your barrel. Sir, can you please put on this squirting flower right now?

Speaker 1 But yeah, they probably do see a lot of genitals, those guys. That's why it might not pay a lot, but that is one of the perks of the job.
Live pornography.

Speaker 1 That's why when they go on strike, they always cave. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We want more money. Oh, God, I miss those little travel penises.

Speaker 1 I miss when an old woman in a wheelchair goes by and I get to see what she's packing.

Speaker 1 Well, I do. I get to see what's in her bag.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. I guess you don't say that about women.
People don't say that about women. Older women.
And you shouldn't say that about anyone.

Speaker 1 Oh, packing is usually. What that woman's packing.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, I guess I don't say that.
Yeah, I usually say it about, yeah, guys' penises. Yeah.
Or like if I see a sailor with a duffel bag, what's he packing? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Probably like

Speaker 1 limes

Speaker 1 for scurvy.

Speaker 1 Sailor Jerry's rum.

Speaker 1 My older brother, Terrence, told me a while ago, because we always think that Popeye is funny. We always think Popeye's funny.

Speaker 1 My brother was like, I read the Popeye Wikipedia, and apparently the character Popeye was based on a real-life sailor in Chicago who is a Polish man.

Speaker 1 Hearing that Popeye was originally Polish blew my mind because he's not portrayed as a Polish man in the cartoon or in the movie. Imagine Popeye with a Polish accent.

Speaker 1 I think it would sound a little something.

Speaker 1 Michael, Michael, take it away.

Speaker 1 I want to eat a spinach.

Speaker 1 That's pretty good. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Speaker 1 I guess I never thought of the nationality of Popeye before. But he's a Polish man, and he shouldn't, he shouldn't be ashamed.

Speaker 1 Well, when you say the name Popeye, it does sound like Eastern European. It does, I guess.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 This is my friend Popeye. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What accent am I doing? This is my friend Popeye. Dracula? Yeah, Dracula.
Dracula.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Chicago.

Speaker 1 I will just have Borscht.

Speaker 1 He's into olive oil. That's maybe more Mediterranean.

Speaker 1 Think about this. Olive oil, she's into Polish guys.

Speaker 1 What's Brutus's? Yeah, is Brutus Polish? Are they all Polish? Is he Roman? I don't know. What is his

Speaker 1 ethnicity? Yeah, Wimpy. Well, Well, he will gladly pay you for a burger tomorrow.
He's got a lot of money. Tomorrow.

Speaker 1 He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money coming to him.
He's a burger futures.

Speaker 1 I want to measure all of the skulls of the Popeye characters just to see where they're from and what their IQ is. You know what I mean? Have you had your head red?

Speaker 1 I once went, there was a museum, it was called the Museum of Questionable Medical Devices in Minneapolis. Love this.
Or was it Wisconsin? And they did have an old phrenology head measurer thing.

Speaker 1 And I think I tried it on. Nice.
And I don't remember how I scored.

Speaker 1 It's questionable. It's on your driver's license.
Yeah. They should do a new version of the big short about guys trying to get rich off of Wimpy not paying for his, not being able to afford a burger.

Speaker 1 He was the original credit card. He was like, yeah, I'll pay you today.

Speaker 1 Oh, pay you tomorrow, I swear. Give me that burger today.
And he's just hoping that he dies every time.

Speaker 1 Is that his thing? But he would eat, would he eat tons tons of burgers? He would eat tons of burgers. Well, how is he getting, how are they giving him so many for free? He had a tab? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Is it fair for me to say this? I just thought of this.
Wimpy walked.

Speaker 1 So, pop.

Speaker 1 Sorry. Wimpy ran so Jughead could walk.

Speaker 1 I think he walked. That's the way Jughead should run.
Yeah. Do a hugging then running.
No, no, no. I like the way I said it.

Speaker 1 Was Jughead a deadbeat? Did Jughead pay his tab? Did you have a deadbeat? Jughead was a skinny guy, skinny eater. Although, after COVID, have you seen him?

Speaker 1 He blew up. Oh, did the Archies do any COVID stuff? I wonder.
I wonder if there was a comic where they're wearing masks. They must have.
I wonder. Reggie would not have got vaccinated.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Moose would have been clueless about what to do.

Speaker 1 You're right, Reggie.

Speaker 1 You're right about Reggie. Reggie, he gives off sort of alt-right vibes.

Speaker 1 This is according to Snopes. Betty in high school 2021.
Did Archie depict remote schooling in 1997? Well, sure. Yeah, sure, okay.
There's an Archie comic for everything, man.

Speaker 1 Archie predicted everything. A Betty comic book page shared

Speaker 1 widely online in March 2021 was authentic.

Speaker 1 And it came from February 1997. It doesn't seem that long ago.
No,

Speaker 1 we had computers. Yeah, we had like, you could do a video chat with somebody, right? Archie also predicted the rise of AI girlfriends.
Oh, right. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I just getting through the pen. This is from Maclean's.ca.
There we go.

Speaker 1 A Canadian magazine. Getting through the pandemic, one Archie comic at a time.

Speaker 1 This is Canada's, if you don't know, that's the, it's Canada's magazine, MacLean's. Every night at bedtime, my son and I read Archie.

Speaker 1 Amid the brutal COVID disruptions, I feel viscerally what he is drawn to, the containment of it all.

Speaker 1 Nice. Oh, Oh, congratulations.
You're the first person to ever click this link.

Speaker 1 Oh, here we go. Archie Comics navigates the pandemic.
There we go. Now we're doing it.
Oh, my God. I got to subscribe to Publishers Weekly.
Jughead had to be intubated at one point.

Speaker 1 Well, this article's too big. But like, Jughead has a very prominent, long nose, so that would be hard for him to put a mask.
He'd be one of those guys that just put it under his nose.

Speaker 1 And the crown, he's not taking that off for anybody. That's right.
Yeah. He did have a jughead would be.
There was something called Big Ethel Energy at one point, apparently.

Speaker 1 Was it Ethel? She was the one that wanted to be a jughead?

Speaker 1 Yeah, and who was with Moose? Midge. Midge.
Midge and Moose. And Moose was a psychopath.
Yeah. He was jealous.
He was jealous, but he was also dumb.

Speaker 1 He could get Reggie could kind of get him in a scam or something. Yes.
Yeah, Moose was dumb. Yeah, Moose was dumb.

Speaker 1 Reggie was

Speaker 1 mean. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Dilton, remember the science? Yeah, Dilton was mean. Yeah, they bring Dilton in from time to time if they needed him.
Dilton had a whole incel storyline.

Speaker 1 Dilton Doily. Dilton Doily.
An Irishman.

Speaker 1 Irish scientist.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and then there was Mr. Weatherby was the teacher.
Mr. Sherman.
Miss Grundy. Miss Grundy.
Sven, the janitor. He was a Swedish man.
Oh, really? Oh, yeah, with a big mustache.

Speaker 1 And then the red-headed one. Cherry? Blossom.
Cherry Blossom. Yeah.
That's not a thing. Homer, Cheryl.
Cheryl. Cheryl.
Cheryl Blossom. Homer and Marge.
Homer and Marge. Simpson.
Sure.

Speaker 1 Velma. Velma.

Speaker 1 Popeye. So

Speaker 1 do you both remember the whole Bonose Nike ad campaign from the early 90s? Yeah. Bonose football, Bono's baseball.
This was Bo Jackson.

Speaker 1 Yes, because he played two sports professionally for a short time, right? Yes. Football and baseball.
Yeah. Yes.
So that was a very North American-centric ad campaign.

Speaker 1 A few years ago, as a joke gift, I bought my girlfriend Suze in the UK a Simpsons

Speaker 1 knockoff shirt based on that that said like Bart knows books and it was him burning books a little extreme Bart knows beer and it's Bart drinking Bart knows babes and it's him with Lisa and Marge and he's drawn everyone is drawn really shittily and I was like ha ha ha that's funny I gave it to Suze and she was like what does this mean?

Speaker 1 Because she didn't know the Bono's Nike campaign. So it just was absolute gibberish.

Speaker 1 I mean, everything about it is really good. Over here, Bonos is like, well,

Speaker 1 if they managed to clone the lead singer of U2.

Speaker 1 That was the...

Speaker 1 The bootleg Bart

Speaker 1 t-shirt craze was a real time in our history. Yeah.
There was a lot of like.

Speaker 1 There was like Tijuana Bart. Yeah, there were a lot of Black Bart.

Speaker 1 Black reggae Bart Simpsons. Yes.

Speaker 1 Did either of you guys have a Bart Simpson t-shirt? I had one.

Speaker 1 I didn't have knockoffs. I had a few real ones.
I had a real one. Yeah.
I had the who the hell are you one. I mean, that's one controversial.
And

Speaker 1 I think the one was just them.

Speaker 1 Oh, I had the Don't Have a Cowman and the like, as far as everyone knows, we're just a nice normal family, boy.

Speaker 1 Good early Homer.

Speaker 1 Oh, for some some chocolate frosty milkshakes, which is another thing that they disposed of. Homer loves chocolate milkshakes.

Speaker 1 The chocolate milkshake thing isn't testing well with the audience. Do you remember people were like, yeah, like, oh, this family is taking, like, this is the

Speaker 1 beginning of the end of our society. This family of hateful people who, meanwhile, goes to church in every single episode.

Speaker 1 I think, because it went up against the Cosby show when it first started, yeah. And Cosby obviously was such a nice man, the ideal father, ideal family.
Well, times have certainly changed.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I remember there being a TV guide cover that said Will Bart beat Bill. I was like, people, there were stakes in it back then.
These days, the t-shirt would be, I'm Bill Cosby.

Speaker 1 Who the hell are you?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's wearing a sombrero.

Speaker 1 And meanwhile, both those shows probably had 80 million viewers. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I remember it being like, I would gobble up anything Simpsons related at that time. And every written article about it was like, you know,

Speaker 1 there's the honeymooners is kind of the proto and the Flintstones and all this kind of stuff. And then you look back, it's like, Simpsons was much better than any of those.

Speaker 1 So now like, there's

Speaker 1 kids say like random stuff all the time. Oh, yeah.
There's like what is known as brain rot.

Speaker 1 A lot of just like weird, just trendy words. And I've seen videos of like adults trying to define them.
And there's things like skibbity toilet. Skibbity toilet, yeah?

Speaker 1 And just like skibbity, just as a thing. And they're like, yeah, skibbity.
I think skibbity means bad. If something is skibbity,

Speaker 1 and that's not true. Skibbity is just a nonsense.
Yeah, it doesn't mean anything, does it?

Speaker 1 And And I was trying to think of the equivalents to our time, and I was like, was cowabunga our nonsense word? Because

Speaker 1 no one said it except, well, the turtle. The turtle said it.
And turtles said it. They said it best.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I feel like our nonsense, my generation's nonsense word was boo Yakasha.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I just remembered that there's a reference to Bo Jackson in the song, Here Comes the Hot Stepper. At one point, I know what Bo Do Oh, yeah.
Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 I don't know why that, I don't know where that was buried in my brain, but you're welcome, you guys.

Speaker 1 I remember those boat commercials. I had a, no, I didn't have a boat.
I remember in grade three, I had a Nike shirt that said, just do it, and kids were freaking out. Oh, yeah, of course.

Speaker 1 We just learned about doing it.

Speaker 1 Get it, guys.

Speaker 1 This is something we can have.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there was a kid in my school.

Speaker 1 I think he had a South Park shirt, and they told him he couldn't wear it because it was kenny was dead on it or something i don't know my mom wouldn't let me wear my prized megadeth t-shirt to school in fourth or fifth grade

Speaker 1 it was the megadeth logo with a nuclear mushroom cloud and their skeleton character uh rising from the hell yeah yeah and i was like oh mom i can't wear my mega death t-shirt Now, how are you into Megadeth so young?

Speaker 1 I feel like that was at least like a

Speaker 1 grade six or a grade seven. It's because my older brother was into metal, he was into like Metallica and Danzig and stuff.

Speaker 1 And then found out about Megadeth, and I was like, he'll be the Metallica guy. I'll be the Megadeth guy.

Speaker 1 Did you? That's how our parents will be able to tell us apart. Did you like the music?

Speaker 1 I think I did at the time, but like, looking back, it's not very good. Yeah, I think in grade seven, I was like, I'll try.
Like, you know, you can buy CDs now and like, yeah, CD's nuts, obviously.

Speaker 1 Um, but uh, I was, I was like, oh,

Speaker 1 uh,

Speaker 1 whenever, like, there was a the

Speaker 1 Perry Farrell's side project, Porno for Pyros, came out, yes, and they had a creepy music video, and I was like, let me try this out. This seems very adult.

Speaker 1 And for the rest of my life, I can't stand Perry Farrell's voice. Wait, you don't think that we'll make great pets? We'll make great pets.

Speaker 1 The first single was Cursed Female. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yes, not great.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think I also, I think Guns N' Roses was my

Speaker 1 entryway into the 80s, early 90s. And then my friend really loved Poison, and there was the cover where they were all done up, like beautiful women.
I was like, this is very... This is for me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was like, this something is happening here. This is out of this world.

Speaker 1 I also remember reading guitar magazines in the early 90s, and there being an ad for the new, I think it was Megadeth album, and it was called

Speaker 1 Youth in Asia. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But it was with the word youth. Yeah.
Like, and then was it in Asia? Like, no, it was, I feel like it was a woman hanging a baby on a clothesline by its toes or something. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, just where did they come up with these ideas?

Speaker 1 hey, maybe let's pick the second or third idea.

Speaker 1 There was, oh, was there

Speaker 1 in the 90s, Corn had like an iconic t-shirt that I know, not with their name, but it was like someone, like a little girl on like a

Speaker 1 hopscotch or something like that. Well, yeah, there was the music video with the bullet.
The little girl. Oh, right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know, like the bullet goes through everything and then like she stares it down. Yeah, right.
And I remember being assured,

Speaker 1 I'm Corn Simpson. Who the hell are you? Would that be a good shirt? That's pretty good.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 The man Corn all saying it. They all have like a little speech balloon.

Speaker 1 They all have spiky hair like Martin said.

Speaker 1 There's going to be a great shirt. I'm Corn Simpson.

Speaker 1 There was.

Speaker 1 I once went to a speech, like a talk given by one of the Simpsons writers who had been there from the early days and is still like a producer. And

Speaker 1 he had this like prepared speech. And

Speaker 1 one of the things that he did, he's like, I also worked on The Simpsons movie and it was great. And we loved it.
Everyone loves The Simpsons movie. And

Speaker 1 we got to work right away on the next one. And I tell you, if I could make a Simpsons movie a year, I would.

Speaker 1 But he never acknowledged that that didn't happen.

Speaker 1 But now there is a new one. There is a new one.
Not a moment. I've been demanded it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Finally, they've striking while the iron is hot.

Speaker 1 Hey, remember in the first one where they showed Bart's penis? Yeah, what's next? No, thanks. Bart's anus.
That's what we're going to see.

Speaker 1 Don't have, what would he say? Don't have a cow, man.

Speaker 1 What would be his phrase? And you see his butthole.

Speaker 1 Would this be the movie where Bart's? Don't take a shit, man. Don't take a shit, man.
Don't look in there, man.

Speaker 1 That was really weird that they

Speaker 1 were genus. Yeah, like it's something we were clamoring for.
They did it. We finally got to see it after all these years talking about it.
I know a certain drummer who watches that movie a lot.

Speaker 1 He just has that, yeah, that scene forever playing.

Speaker 1 Simpsons movie, I'm excited

Speaker 1 to see if they, how the story continues from the first movie. It's also, remember when it first came out, there was like promotional everything.
Like certain stores,

Speaker 1 they were turned into Quickie Mart. Yeah.
There was just like so many collectible,

Speaker 1 you know, there was collectible, you could get like Simpsons donuts, but a lot of people kept them because they thought they were going to be,

Speaker 1 like, Simpsons collectible cup at 7-Eleven. You can get the donuts at 7-Eleven.
It was really just one promotion. No, they did the thing.
That was where you could Simpson fie yourself.

Speaker 1 Like, all right. The operation.

Speaker 1 This lady has spent $800,000 to look like Marge.

Speaker 1 In The Simpsons universe, is Marge hot? Because

Speaker 1 she is hot, right? She's hot.

Speaker 1 She's gotten like the, I haven't watched a lot in the recent years, but I feel like the attitude towards her among other characters is that she's hot. And that she's, that Homer married up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. So, yeah.
And certainly in the sidebar ads, I get, she's very hot. She's very nuts.
And doing a lot of stuff with Millhouse.

Speaker 1 Maybe we'll see something of Millhouse in the movie. Oh, yeah.
Maybe we'll see his penis.

Speaker 1 What type of society things do you think they're going to take on? What are they going to skewer in that movie? What did they skewer in the first one? They got a dome put over the city? Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was environmentalism, it was part of it.

Speaker 1 What's her name was in it? Aaron Brockovit was in the movie. And

Speaker 1 Homer went to Alaska or something?

Speaker 1 Does he go somewhere in the snow? He has to go somewhere. Yeah,

Speaker 1 because he gets kicked out of somewhere. Spider Pig

Speaker 1 is involved. Spider-Pig was on the roof.

Speaker 1 Tom Hanks was in it. Tom Hanks made an appearance.
Do you think they'll bring back Aaron Brockovich for the sequel?

Speaker 1 It's not Aaron Brockovich, it's certainly Michael Clayton.

Speaker 1 It's in her contract. She's like, I'll be in the first movie, and if there's ever a sequel, I also have to receive Top Billing and be in the second movie.
Top Billing.

Speaker 1 Aaron Brockovich in the Simpsons movie, too.

Speaker 1 Name above the title. An Aaron Brockovich joint.

Speaker 1 My friend has not replied to me about the Dancers Union. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Maybe he has a ticket for a runaway train.

Speaker 1 Never going back.

Speaker 1 Did they do like a 25th anniversary redo of that with

Speaker 1 missing kids? Oh, or did they find any of the kids? They found a lot of the kids, apparently.

Speaker 1 This I learned from pop-up video. This was the new milk carton.
It was a milk carton for the MTV generation. Yeah, where do people get their milk carton kids now? Back to milk cartons again.

Speaker 1 I guess, though. Yeah.
Yeah. In Canada, we have milk bag kids.

Speaker 1 Canada's most popular kids show, the milk bag kids.

Speaker 1 Yeah, did either of you go see The Simpsons movie in the theater? Absolutely. I did, yeah.
I think I did as well. You may have seen it a couple of times.

Speaker 1 Yeah? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I feel like they had Tom Hanks. What's Starkey? Maybe Tom Cruise, but have they had Tom Cruise on the show? Like, maybe what do you mean? Was Tom Hanks in the movie?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he played himself in the movie. I mean, you got to get like Sidney Sweeney, probably.
Yeah, she's

Speaker 1 if they do that, Dave, I'll be going

Speaker 1 as many times as I can afford to see the Simpsons sequel.

Speaker 1 She's hot,

Speaker 1 Can't resist.

Speaker 1 She's the hot girl du jour.

Speaker 1 I love her.

Speaker 1 I'm not afraid to say it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I watched

Speaker 1 Tom Hanks was like a guest on Jimmy Kimmel. Did you see this? Where he's like, have you heard about this? Have you seen this? No.

Speaker 1 He did a, it was a fun thing. Like, he...
did the machine from big like the kid came out and like put in the coin and then it was tom hanks he couldn't have got the jacket off faster.

Speaker 1 He's like, done with the bit immediately. Like, he had to wear like a bitch, and immediately he's like, dropped a bit.
All right, thanks, Idiot. Yeah, exactly.
You guys get what I'm doing.

Speaker 1 Also, instead of the machine, can I get a typewriter? I'm addicted to typewriters. That's how he takes his payment.

Speaker 1 50 typewriters.

Speaker 1 And how tall are you, Tom Hanks? I'm about 14 typewriters tall.

Speaker 1 Didn't you have, you had a great tweet that I think

Speaker 1 it was something about his height. Just

Speaker 1 well, no. No, it was, I'm looking for the president of the Tom Hanks fan club.
He's like, yay big.

Speaker 1 That's the quality tweet.

Speaker 1 I hope that was your final tweet before you logged off forever. No, it was about 10 years before that.

Speaker 1 Do you guys still have your accounts? Yes. I do.
And I don't, every time, they used to have a thing.

Speaker 1 When you would log in, it would tell you that you had notifications because your tweet was liked or whatever. Now it's just notifications that Elon Musk has said something.
Yes. Which,

Speaker 1 no, you didn't ask for that. Yeah.
Or did I? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Does my algorithm know?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I used to tweet all day, every day. Now I'll tweet like once a month.
Yeah, I don't even, like, I, I for, well, we, as the show, have an Instagram, uh, a Facebook group, and a Blue Sky.

Speaker 1 I have not been updating the Blue Sky. Yeah, Blue Sky is, there's so little payoff to Blue Sky.
Like, I mean, there it probably is. I mean, the payoff to Facebook is immeasurable.

Speaker 1 And we have a Discord now. Join our Discord, folks.
I am. There's a great channel on there called My Travel Agent Retired.
Yeah, that is where people share their boring dreams.

Speaker 1 Dave has a history of having very boring dreams. Like once I dreamt my travel agent was retiring.

Speaker 1 For instance. Do you still have...
Or do you have a a drink? This question comes up a lot.

Speaker 1 Yes, I do. Her name's Lily.
Really? Yeah. You don't just book it yourself, Wikipedia, Travago.

Speaker 1 Go to Wikipedia first. Or Expedia.

Speaker 1 Well, I booked my flight out here on Wikipedia.

Speaker 1 Let me look up Buenos Aires here.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 longitude and latitude.

Speaker 1 Hold on.

Speaker 1 I do. Her name's Lily.
She's great. She sends me a thing telling me to, she sends me an email telling me to renew my passport.
Yeah. But when it's going to come up.

Speaker 1 But like, she's very,

Speaker 1 she knows things. She has like a lifetime of knowledge.
Yeah. So she's like, actually, this place you're going to stay is not as good as this place.
This is a place better for families. This is this.

Speaker 1 Here's a better way to use your points. Sure.

Speaker 1 Have you ever had a boring dream? I rarely remember remember my dreams at all. Yeah.
And

Speaker 1 I can't even remember the last dream I had. I think I had a dream about a big green tree.
That's about

Speaker 1 it. I had a dream, past guest Tim Gray and I were having a conversation with my dream, and he was wearing a tuxedo, and I was not.
So I don't know what.

Speaker 1 Ooh. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I wrote him. I told him that.
He was like, why? Why are you bothering? Yeah. Leave me alone.

Speaker 1 Do you both interact with people on Discord? Or do you let them do it and you just observe from on high? Well, I'm the one who started it, so I've been like asking for help.

Speaker 1 This is only two weeks old, this thing. Okay.
And so I've been asking for help. People were like, hey, why am I getting notifications about every little thing that happens on the Discord?

Speaker 1 And I was like, can you turn off your notifications? Or do I have to turn off your notifications?

Speaker 1 I'm confused about the notifications because I've turned them off because I don't want them, but the thing still beep boops.

Speaker 1 And I don't know where they're, I don't know in relation to what.

Speaker 1 I feel very like... ah, so uh, we're just we're here to announce the closure of the Discord.

Speaker 1 You have a Discord, do you interact with

Speaker 1 evil men? I rarely do. I'll post about shows, or

Speaker 1 that's basically it. Or today, I announced, like, oh, the episode is late, but it's up now.

Speaker 1 But James and Chris spend a lot of time interacting with the Evil Men fans, sure.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I don't do that.

Speaker 1 I've just been, yeah, it's new, so I'm poking around. So we have an overheards channel, and you were like, get rid of that.
Yeah, yeah. I was like, overheard's come my way.

Speaker 1 But people are posting like, hey, I had an overheard on the show five years ago. Absolutely.
That's fair play.

Speaker 1 Also, if it's something that would be too hard to describe visually, that's the place for it. Oh, sure.
But speaking of overheards, I put out a call for people to send them in.

Speaker 1 You guys answered the call. Thank you so much for sending in so many overheards.
I'm overwhelmed. Overwhelmed.

Speaker 1 Dave, what's going on with you, man? Well, it's spooky time of year. Absolutely.
And I like to get into spooky stuff, but

Speaker 1 we kind of narrowed down my feelings about Halloween. Yeah.
I like a little bit of scariness.

Speaker 1 I love candy.

Speaker 1 I don't want to dress up. But you don't mind being the chaperone? Oh, sure.
Yeah. I'll chaperone Sadie Hawkins dance.
I'll chaperone, you know,

Speaker 1 And so I've been trying to like,

Speaker 1 you love horror movies. Love them.
I don't like horror movies. I like kind of a mysterious, spooky little movie.

Speaker 1 Something spooky. And so I have a few that I am going to try to watch this month.

Speaker 1 And I'm excited for this list.

Speaker 1 Bridges of Madison.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because there might be a troll in the game.

Speaker 1 Have either of you guys seen that movie? I worked at a movie theater when it came out, so I've seen it many times

Speaker 1 as a teenager. Every teen's dream come true.

Speaker 1 He's doing a love story.

Speaker 1 That was an enormous book. Like size book? No, just like a popular book.
Huge. Like that.

Speaker 1 Why do I remember all these like 90s

Speaker 1 memoirs of a geisha, snow falling on cedars? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 That just most of them were like not great movies.

Speaker 1 British is a manic at Sim County was nice. It was a good movie.

Speaker 1 It's Clint Eastwood directed as well. Yes.
It's him and Merrill. Clinton Merrill.
Merrill. He's a photographer of Bridges.

Speaker 1 You know, one of those movies.

Speaker 1 So the spooky movies, I think I'm going to

Speaker 1 work up the courage to see Scream. Okay.
The original? Yeah. Okay.
I've never seen it. You've never seen Scream? No.

Speaker 1 I don't like horror movies, but I feel like I know enough about, about like i think i know the ending yeah scream's fun like i've seen the opening scene many times and it's not gory like they there's blood but there's not like it's wound it's more of a whodunit yeah and it's also self-referential it's like in horror movies this happens so i know this is about to happen yes right um and then what i watched the other day was a blind spot for me uh it was an m night shamalon movie

Speaker 1 called signs signs Now I see it. You never saw it.
Do you know the ending of it? I don't know even the beginning of it. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 So I am... So

Speaker 1 I saw The Sixth Sense in the theater. Do you know the ending of that? I do, but yeah.

Speaker 1 I saw Unbreakable in the theater. I loved The Sixth Sense.
I really loved Unbreakable. I mean, I think I loved them both the same.

Speaker 1 I, for some reason, missed Signs, but I don't know why. I liked his other movies.
I saw The Village. I liked The Village, although I guessed the ending one second in.
Yeah, oh man. And then

Speaker 1 Lady in the Water, I didn't like so much. And then I never saw another one of his movies.
Oh, you didn't get to see Old? Never saw Old. Should I see Old? Should I see Trap?

Speaker 1 Yes, you should absolutely see Trap. But like,

Speaker 1 have Abby there to joke around with because it's so silly. Is it scary? Is it something I need to do in October?

Speaker 1 No, it's a gripping suspense story.

Speaker 1 So there's this. Do you know the plot of this movie?

Speaker 1 The police put on a concert to trap

Speaker 1 Lady Raven is coming to see. They shot it in Toronto.
I remember when people were talking about that. I think they used

Speaker 1 the Sky Dome or the Air Canada Center. Anyway.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And so we, so I watched, I got home like,

Speaker 1 at like 10 o'clock after playing hockey. And I was like, well, I'm not going to fall asleep.
I'm, I, it takes me a while to fall asleep after hockey.

Speaker 1 I'll watch a movie, and it'll usually I'll watch a scary movie in the daytime. This one, this one, I'm like, I don't think it's that scary.

Speaker 1 Uh, plus, I know how it ends. Yeah, so signs is Mel Gibson, uh, is a dad of

Speaker 1 Walking Phoenix. No, Walking Phoenix is like his younger brother.
Oh, okay. His kids are Abigail Breslin and a Culcan, one of the Culcins.

Speaker 1 And they get these crop circles, right?

Speaker 1 And then there's.

Speaker 1 He's a farmer? He's a farm. Well, they live on a farm.
He was a pastor who

Speaker 1 no longer believes in God because his wife got killed.

Speaker 1 And so.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Spoilers all around if anybody's never seen it, but she gets hit by a car. She gets hit by a car driven by M.
Night Shamalan. Really?

Speaker 1 Well, he's got a beer in all of his eyes. Yeah, he does.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 so he, yeah, so his wife, and so he's like there when she dies. And then he's like, I'm done with God.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then so his family. And then, anyway, there turns out there's these aliens invading

Speaker 1 all the major cities and this one

Speaker 1 farm. One horn city.

Speaker 1 And there's like, they're like hovering around the cities for a few days. And then they're starting to invade.

Speaker 1 And,

Speaker 1 but apparently, look, I liked this movie. Yeah.
I liked it too, but I do not remember it. But

Speaker 1 the confrontation at the end is very silly because it's the aliens are just like humanoids. They're like maybe six feet, six inches taller than the average humanoid.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And they don't have any like tentacles or anything. They just kind of like are kind of hunched.

Speaker 1 Yeah, big green guys. Yeah.
And there's a great scene in it where you, the actor doesn't see that it walks behind them in a doorway. And it's I remember that being like the like, oh my god.

Speaker 1 There are a couple. Yeah, that stuff is all done really well.
Yeah. And then it ends and it's like, so the aliens are going house to house just doing hand-to-hand combat.
Like they're just

Speaker 1 thinking they're going to get beaten up by Mel Gibson. When did this movie come out? Was it like a 2000-ish? So was it a...
So it was before the Iraq war?

Speaker 1 Because I was going to say, it sounds almost like a.

Speaker 1 No, it wasn't. It doesn't mean anything.

Speaker 1 But it was like I was like okay these alien guys are

Speaker 1 They're they're they're also I'm gonna spoil the absolute thing that kills them. Yeah water.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh and he remembers he thinks back to like his wife and her dying and she gets she gets pinned to a tree with a car. I think she gets pinned between two cars or maybe it's to a tree.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and she's like he's talking to her at the very end of her life and she says, swing away. Well, swing away is what

Speaker 1 Joaquin Phoenix. He's a baseball player who holds the record for the most minor league home runs,

Speaker 1 but also the most minor league strikeouts. So that's why he never made the majors.
Hey, guess what? You would totally make the majors.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they don't cancel each other.

Speaker 1 Like, yeah, a lot of guys strike out, but if you hit the most home runs, you're probably going to.

Speaker 1 Anyway,

Speaker 1 I believe Babe Ruth had the record for the most strikeouts or something. But then doesn't he, doesn't that inspire him to hit the bat? He then

Speaker 1 hits the aliens with a baseball bat. And then water lands on them.
Because his daughter, Abigail Breslin,

Speaker 1 always has little glasses of water all over the house, which as a parent, I'm like, get her a plastic cup. These are going to smash.

Speaker 1 But they get water on them and they're like, I don't like it. And earlier in the movie, M.
Night Shyamalan's like, I'm getting out of town because I noticed these aliens aren't landing.

Speaker 1 I'm going to the lake because I noticed these aliens don't land near water. They really

Speaker 1 landed the sea. No, is that he directed the damn movie?

Speaker 1 Maybe the aliens were like, oh, my mom said I'm not allowed to get wet in these clothes.

Speaker 1 Remember that when you were a kid? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, did you have very special... Did you go to church as a child?

Speaker 1 We would go to church for like until I was like 11 or something because my dad taught, my dad was a teacher, he taught in the Catholic school board. And it was like this, like

Speaker 1 they would check up on staff to make sure they were going to church or else you could get like wow reprimanded or like lose your job if you're not seen at church it's like weird very high pressure weird surveillance situation going on and then god's the ultimate surveillance

Speaker 1 yeah he sees you when you're sleeping he knows when you're awake night vision goggles

Speaker 1 um so uh anyway i knew this movie was i i really liked it i enjoyed it i knew it was silly and i was like oh, these stupid aliens.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 afterwards, I was like, a little bit afraid of the aliens. Yeah.
I was like, I don't want to look out the window. I don't know.

Speaker 1 So you like horror movies so much. Yeah.
But do you get scared? Like, are you scared afterwards?

Speaker 1 I think if I was watching something really spooky by myself late at night, I'd probably get a bit of like, maybe I'll leave the light on. Maybe I'll leave it on.
Did you watch it with Sally?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I always watched with Sally. We watched one that was so grim the other night.

Speaker 1 It was great, but it was just like, ooh, wee was that that was a dark movie and a dark ending and it never let up for a second. Like it was just really doom and gloom.
What was it? It was called,

Speaker 1 what the hell is it called? Not Wear Evil Lurks, although that one was crazy.

Speaker 1 I can't remember what it's called.

Speaker 1 Bohemian Rhapsody.

Speaker 1 You should have seen this guy's teeth.

Speaker 1 Do you like scary movies? No, I rarely watch horror movies.

Speaker 1 I think we might have that in common. Although you're ahead of me now.

Speaker 1 I don't want major scares. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I also, I don't want anything that's a gross out. I don't need to see something gross.

Speaker 1 It's like, if it's kind of related to the plot, then it's fine, but I don't just like seeing a gross mood or something. Did you see

Speaker 1 The Long Walk? No, no, I haven't seen it yet.

Speaker 1 It's pretty gory. Yeah.
Not too gory, but they don't shy away from it. And did you see, you saw weapons? Yeah, weapons.
That's very gory. Yeah.
And it was a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 And I've seen videos of teachers running out of classrooms with the doing the legs or the arm thing.

Speaker 1 Do you know this? I haven't seen weapons. No.

Speaker 1 What is your go-to film genre of choice?

Speaker 1 I know you like a historical. That's my guess.
You like a historical film? Yeah, Dunkirk. You love Dunkirk.
Yeah, do you love Dunkirk? Fall asleep every night to Dunkirk.

Speaker 1 I mean, I guess I'd say, like, what was the last movie I saw? We saw a screening of Suze Visited Me in Toronto. We saw a screening of the Virgin Suicides.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I don't know. 70s American movies.

Speaker 1 Well, you know, Virgin Suicides takes place in the 70s, but it actually was modern. It was modern.
Shot in Toronto, down the street from where I live. I know somebody who's in it.

Speaker 1 Like, briefly, he's one of the crushes that they're obsessed with. His name was Dustin Ladd.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. He was a handsome young man.
Also, two Sloan songs on the soundtrack. Yes, which I picked up watching it.
I was like, hold on, that's historically inaccurate.

Speaker 1 What the The hell? But yeah, but I guess I would watch

Speaker 1 a 70s movie. Oh, we have an answer.
Oh, we have an answer, dancers union. Yep.

Speaker 1 It is

Speaker 1 CADA.

Speaker 1 Well, let's see.

Speaker 1 My wife is at work. I don't think she, I don't think there is a union per se, but CADA is probably the closest thing.
They recommend hourly rates.

Speaker 1 So what is the instead of a

Speaker 1 salary? Alliance of dance artists. Canadian alliance of dance artists.
That sounds that's close to a union alliance. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 If they go on strike, this country shuts the fuck down.

Speaker 1 Who will we give our grants to?

Speaker 1 Have either of you ever gone and seen a dance performance?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I have.
Yeah, I have as well.

Speaker 1 I feel like everyone in the room knows more about what's going on than I do when it comes to a dance. Oh, sure.
Like, boy, is she going to fall in love with with that Nutcracker or what?

Speaker 1 They've got a real

Speaker 1 is this guy a swan or what's his deal?

Speaker 1 Those are the big two. Those big two.
I was, I, uh, I dated a girl for a very short time who was a dancer, so we went to a couple recitals.

Speaker 1 This was not, uh, this was a modern, interpretive. Yeah, and you were like, oh, God, I hope if I marry her, maybe I can get some of her union benefits.
Were you heckling like, do some tap dancing?

Speaker 1 Jazz, jazz, jazz, jazz.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, getting in the shamalan spirit of this.

Speaker 1 And maybe I'll watch Scream before the spooky night itself. Yeah, Scream's such a good one.

Speaker 1 I have seen so few horror movies, but I will say the ones I love the most, and they're both from the 70s or late 60s. Rosemary's Baby, have you seen that? I haven't.
It's so good, and it's

Speaker 1 grossed out, but it's

Speaker 1 fuck with your mind.

Speaker 1 And the original Wicker Man. I love the Wicker Man.
Oh, yeah, Wicker Man's really good. It's so eerie.
So spooky. Now, you really like the director of Rosemary's Baby, is that right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I didn't know he made films until recently. I was just a fan of his other work.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was a fan of him fleeing America.

Speaker 1 He did it with Panache.

Speaker 1 Maybe I'll check it out then.

Speaker 1 What's going on with you, Graham? Well, here's the thing. You and I, we live in the same neighborhood.

Speaker 1 And not far from where we live, there's a rug store. And this rug store has been going out of business since I moved to the neighborhood.
God knows how many more years before.

Speaker 1 But that has been their whole ploy. We're going to go there.
The building next to it burnt down, but it's still there. It's still there.
And it's the whole thing is we're clearing out sale.

Speaker 1 They've been clearing out sale since

Speaker 1 five or six years or whatever. They must have so many rugs to get rid of.
Yeah, at discount prices, as far as I know.

Speaker 1 But they recently put up a new sign, an even bigger banner that said like actually closing kind of sale.

Speaker 1 And I was like, oh, drugstore who cried wolf.

Speaker 1 What we need is a bigger banner so people know we're going out of business. But the one thing they did differently is they put a countdown, days left.
Countdown is it a digital? It's not.

Speaker 1 So they've had to print up all the different.

Speaker 1 But I was like, oh, this is just a. How many days? It started at 9,000.

Speaker 1 It's out of 56. They're counting it down.
It's actually being counted down. Okay.
Wow. Yeah.
So

Speaker 1 the numbers start going up.

Speaker 1 What zero?

Speaker 1 Have you gone in? I haven't gone in. But I feel like probably at this point, I should.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, clear respect. Hey, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Hey, you guys have been such a great part of the neighborhood. What do you think is going to move in here, a freshie? We made you some food, please.
Just have it.

Speaker 1 It must be a difficult time for you.

Speaker 1 They've got so many rugs. They've got so many rugs.
And then I thought when I was a kid, I remember my parents decided to change the carpet in the house. We went to a carpet warehouse.

Speaker 1 It was the most fun thing in the goddamn world. Yeah, you rolled around on it.
You rolled around on it. They had a forklift that was just like a rod.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Rugs and lifted it up. Wow.
Played with that, even though we're not supposed to. Playing with the forklift?

Speaker 1 Trying to hang off of it.

Speaker 1 But yeah. Did you find out if the carpet matched the drapes?

Speaker 1 Yeah. For certain people, yes.
People surprising.

Speaker 1 I wonder, as my hair gets grayer,

Speaker 1 will your penis look more distinguished?

Speaker 1 Gray.

Speaker 1 Yes. I was wondering if my pumes would also get gray.
Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 So I'm keeping tabs on this rug store. The thing, it just so happens, thinking about getting a rug.
So should I...

Speaker 1 Is this just the stars lining up for me that I should? Pull the trigger. Yeah.
What kind of rug are you looking for? Circular.

Speaker 1 Rectangular. Rectangular.
Yes, looking for a tall,

Speaker 1 middle. Funny picture.
Serious picture.

Speaker 1 My wife Sally forwarded me a series that somebody, 9-11-demed rugs.

Speaker 1 Are you looking for,

Speaker 1 is it to go over hardwood? Go over hardwood. Yeah.
To go under a couch and

Speaker 1 table situation? Yes, under a couch, table situation. I like something.
Do you want something ethnic? Yes.

Speaker 1 What are you doing? Polish, like Popeye?

Speaker 1 You get a Polish spinach. Do you sell Popeye rugs?

Speaker 1 You know, Polish?

Speaker 1 Go in there. There's just a picture of Popeye on your phone and go, Do you have this?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 If there's a language barrier, just show them a picture of Popeye.

Speaker 1 I remember a few years ago they did, like, someone did, like,

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 photorealistic Popeye. And

Speaker 1 it was all the characters, and it was grotesque. Yeah, yeah.
With that, that weird jaw he has. It doesn't translate.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've never bought a new rug before. I've never gone to a rug store and bought a rug.

Speaker 1 I'm always really inspired by the Huey Lewis song, I Want a New Rug. Go on.

Speaker 1 That would be a good name for a store.

Speaker 1 You know what? I know of a place that's clearing liquidating.

Speaker 1 Would it be I Want a New Rug Asterisk? This is a play on words of the Huey Lewis song, I Want a New Drug, just in case you didn't know, which is actually

Speaker 1 the drug ends up being love in that song. Oh, shit.
And he believes in the power of love, because it's a serious thing.

Speaker 1 Well, see, I think it ends up being love,'cause he wants one that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you. Nice.
Oh, if there was only a drug like that, nobody would ever leave their house again.

Speaker 1 I watched, so so there's this Instagram I follow that is SNL old SNL clips, and they do, so many of them are just like musical performances.

Speaker 1 Huey Lewis and the news were the tightest band I've ever seen do a live performance on SNL.

Speaker 1 Incredible.

Speaker 1 If they were still performing, which I don't think they are anymore.

Speaker 1 I think he's got hearing issues. Yeah,

Speaker 1 his hearing affected his singing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He has some hearing issue where

Speaker 1 he has good days and bad days, and he doesn't know when it like he can't predict that tomorrow will be a good day. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I never got to see them live, but I imagine they seem like they would be a good day. My brother saw them live once, twice, once with

Speaker 1 Bruce Hornsby in the range opening for them,

Speaker 1 and once with Canada's version of

Speaker 1 Huey Lewis in the news, Doug and the Slugs. Doug and the Slugs, yeah.
And was Huey having a good day or a bad day? That was back when he had nothing but good days.

Speaker 1 You made me think of like the Back to the Future poster, and this guy who designed all those posters just passed away. I didn't know it was one guy, I thought it was just a genre of posters.

Speaker 1 Drew Strusen? Yeah. He did all the like Indiana Jones and

Speaker 1 like ton of the episode one hook. I won free tickets to see Hook when it came out when I was a kid, and I am so happy.

Speaker 1 He did this Alice Cooper Alice. Oh, welcome to my nightmare.

Speaker 1 Star Wars stuff. Wow.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 oh, human centipede.

Speaker 1 Right next door.

Speaker 1 And he did like six human centipedes in anticipation of

Speaker 1 sequels.

Speaker 1 In his final days, he just kept drawing more and more human centipede images.

Speaker 1 He also just lost Ace Freely from Kiss today. Oh, I didn't hear that.

Speaker 1 Wow. Oh, my God.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, I'll have a listen to Back in the New North Groove when I get home.

Speaker 1 Do you guys think we should move on to some overheards? No, no, no. No, because you move on to a little bit of business.
That's right.

Speaker 1 It's Jumbotron time, everybody.

Speaker 1 Maybe you don't know what this is, but what it is, is it's a way for you, the listener, to send a shout-out, a message of love, a message to start a rivalry, and we'll perform it for you cold read style and uh we have one today yeah so what this is it's a jumbotron it's sort of a way to do a message of love

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 and this is part of our uh business part of the show where we do jumbotrons and this is not something we've done in months months and months and also part of the business is guys start collecting those receipts now because it's going to be the end of the final quarter of fiscal year and so what we're talking about here is a jumbotron and if you would like to do something like this as well, go to maximumfund.org slash jumbotron.

Speaker 1 I don't think so. I think that's right.

Speaker 1 It's been so long since we've done one, but we love doing them. And this one, this one is for James.
And this one is from Dan. And the message goes like this.
Happy birthday, James.

Speaker 1 A message from Dave and Graham is far more valuable than any present I could think of.

Speaker 1 James had listened to every episode of SpyPod, including Boco, and the pod is a staple of any road trip or long drive we take.

Speaker 1 So I'm as grateful to David Graham for entertaining us as I am for James putting up with me for 20 years. Happy birthday.

Speaker 1 That's very heartfelt. That's very nice.

Speaker 1 I like that we're together with them on their road trips. Yeah, that's annoying.

Speaker 1 If you're with someone and you're in the car and you put on a podcast. It's quite passive-aggressive.
You're saying, I don't want to speak. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't think we have. Let's hear, instead of us two guys talking, let's hear two other guys talk.

Speaker 1 You think we have chemistry?

Speaker 1 Do you think hitchhikers, they're like, they get picked up and they're like, what do you like? Are you listening to American Life or do you want a new armchair expert?

Speaker 1 Yeah, this show is sort of like you and I are driving, and our guest is a hitchhiker. Yeah, you're kind of long for the ride.
Where do we let you out?

Speaker 1 You let me out where I tell you to let me out.

Speaker 1 And I want to listen to Candace.

Speaker 1 The Candace show.

Speaker 1 Oh, a possible Golden Globe nominee.

Speaker 1 She deserves to win.

Speaker 1 Well, should we get on to some overheards? We might as well.

Speaker 1 Hi, I'm Travis McElroy. I'm here with Maria, and we're excited because as a member of the month, Maria, thank you so much for being a listener and a supporter of the show.
Hi.

Speaker 1 How did you find out about the shows?

Speaker 2 When my daughter was in high school, we kind of connected over Taz. She introduced me to Schmanners and Sawbones.

Speaker 1 What made you decide to become a Max Fund member?

Speaker 2 I kind of decided that with the economy being so difficult, it was worth me giving up my Starbucks to join in with you guys.

Speaker 1 Well Maria I owe you a cup of coffee then. At some point I'll get a cup of coffee into your hands to pay you back.
Okay. Maria, again, thank you so much for your support.

Speaker 2 Thank you very, very much for your time and getting a chance to be the member of the month.

Speaker 2 My daughter was shocked when she found out about it, so I can't wait for her to actually maybe catch a little bit of this. I can rub it in her face a little bit.

Speaker 1 That's what we do it for. Thank you, and thanks to everybody for your support.
Maria, have a great month.

Speaker 2 You have an amazing month as well.

Speaker 3 Become a Max Fun member now at maximumfun.org/slash join.

Speaker 3 Hey there. Do you like books about various shades of gray? Maybe 50 of them?

Speaker 3 Or books about winged men searching for soulmates.

Speaker 3 Is your e-reader full of stories that would pair well with Berry White in the background?

Speaker 3 We're Bria and Mallory of Reading Glasses, and we have a brand new show for people who crave reads with just a dash of sriracha sauce. That's right.

Speaker 3 Every other Friday, we dive into books that could be measured on the Scoville scale and talk to the people who love them. You can find our new show by visiting maximumfun.org/slash slash spicy.

Speaker 3 That's maximumfun.org slash spicy.

Speaker 1 Overheard.

Speaker 1 Overheards. If you're out there in the world and you hear something great, don't just keep it to yourself.
Share it with the world. And we always like to start with the guest.

Speaker 1 Michael, do you have an overheard? I have two. One, I was

Speaker 1 more of a conversation. And the other one was true overheard.
Okay. Do you want to do both? Do you want to do one and then we go around the horn back to you? What do you want to do?

Speaker 1 I'll start with one. And if you guys want to hear another, I'll do it.
But the overheard was a couple of weeks ago, we had to bring my mother to the hospital because she had some trouble with her leg.

Speaker 1 And we were waiting for a doctor to come. And there was a woman in the sort of bed area beside her.
And she was hidden by a curtain. I just heard her go, Nurse, I need to go to the bathroom.

Speaker 1 I think I'm having diarrhea.

Speaker 1 Nurse!

Speaker 1 And then, not a nurse, but a guy from the hospital came and was like, What's going on? And then he was like, Okay, we'll get a nurse. And it was another 10 minutes until the nurse came.

Speaker 1 Like, I think I'm having diarrhea. Nurse? There should be an alarm that goes on.
There should be a button you can press that explodes the hospital

Speaker 1 from the makers of plane blow-up button.

Speaker 1 I think I'm having diarrhea. Remember when Joker almost blew up? I guess he did blow up a hospital, but for a few seconds, he couldn't get the button to work.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and apparently that was an improv. Really? Yeah, the thing didn't work.
So he just improv hitting it and rest is history.

Speaker 1 Well, you know how those signs are like, here are the telltale signs of a stroke. There should be that for diarrhea as well.
Do you know if you're having diarrhea or if it's something else, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's fast, right? Yes. Face, face, arm.
Are you currently sliding into home? Are you

Speaker 1 driving in your Chevy?

Speaker 1 Your pants are getting heavy.

Speaker 1 Hey, the little hiccup there, but we didn't lose much. We mostly went down a diarrhea trail.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We tried to come up with another possible four-letter thing. We came up with Trot.
We came up with Trot. If we didn't come up with letters for them, we noticed the computer stopped recording.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But we're back. We're back.
And

Speaker 1 you know what? We love diarrhea here. It's the best.
It's one of the funnier bodily functions. Dave, do you have an overheard? Barely.

Speaker 1 In my house, so I have a daughter

Speaker 1 and another daughter.

Speaker 1 Do they know?

Speaker 1 No, I'm doing a constant like Mrs. Doubtfire situation where I'm putting on an old lady mask and then running to the other side of the room.

Speaker 1 Of the room.

Speaker 1 Don't look over here.

Speaker 1 You keep your your eyes opposed to the movie. He was in one restaurant at the end.
He was in one restaurant. Yeah.
And so it was one big room. One big room.
A lot of people in it.

Speaker 1 But you said you don't watch horror movies yet. You've seen Mrs.
Doubtfire?

Speaker 1 Yeah, one of the scariers.

Speaker 1 Did he ever make a horror movie? One-hour photo. One-hour photo.
And he was also in. The Tale of Ops.

Speaker 1 Hot Pie. Yeah.
Hot Pie. He was on an episode of Law and Order where he played a guy who

Speaker 1 harassed a lot of people using different voices and different cell phones. Oh, he's the guy to do it.
So they played the things, and you're like, Is this Frank Caliendo?

Speaker 1 He was up for the role, and then Robin stepped in. A man keeps calling me using some pretty problematic accents, and he does this gay voice in a jive brother voice.

Speaker 1 I mean, who even uses that phrase anymore?

Speaker 1 No, it's actually multiple different people calling you.

Speaker 1 Okay, so

Speaker 1 I forget how, but

Speaker 1 Abby and I, my wife and I were talking about Elvis. And we talked, my daughter, my,

Speaker 1 what is she, eight now? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're two years apart, except for the three months when they're not two years apart. My eight-year-old daughter was there, and I said to her, hey, do you know who Elvis is? And she goes, yeah.

Speaker 1 He's an old singer and he died on the toilet. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're teaching him young. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Teach the controversy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Lean into it. I wonder how old I was when I found out that Elvis died on the toilet.
Seems like something I'd be way into as a kid.

Speaker 1 Elvis was everywhere my whole life. Yeah.
He was, and then there was that famous thing with like the fat Elvis, young, young Elvis, old Elvis postage stamp. Yeah.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And he died before we were born. 77.
77. He died at Star Wars.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hey, who's that hairy guy on the screen who's going,

Speaker 1 those are his last words? There's some kind of true buck up there. That guy's real cool.

Speaker 1 But yeah, he was very like, the Elvis influence was everywhere my whole life. Yeah.
From Honeymoon in Vegas to John Stamos. Do you remember?

Speaker 1 And they don't do it anymore because he'd be well dead, but in like the early 90s, there was a a series of shows called the Elvis Files, where it was like it was a live show.

Speaker 1 It's like phones are open for the next hour. We're taking your calls if you have seen who you think is Elvis.
There was a possibility that he was still alive. That was a big thing, yeah.

Speaker 1 And they would do like showing reports, like, could this be Elvis? There was a fat guy sighted in Nashville who was eating a butter and or peanut butter banana sandwich. Was it Elvis? Good thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Then Sir Da Tupac took over as the fake dead guy.

Speaker 1 What was the

Speaker 1 logic? Was he why would he know Elvis? Why would he be not couldn't handle the fame even though he was well past it? Yeah, he wanted to like just have a regular anonymous life. Well, it's too late.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, he's the most iconic person of all time. If you faked your death, would you hang around in the areas where you famously

Speaker 1 hung around and looked like Elvis? Well, he was in Nashville. Elvis was from Memphis.
Yeah, that's true. Yeah, he wasn't even Nashville.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 two involving overheards involving toilets. Oh, mine doesn't.
Maybe if the nurse, maybe if Elvis' nurse didn't let him go to the toilet, he'd still be alive

Speaker 1 because it was a killer toilet.

Speaker 1 Have you seen the teeth on that thing?

Speaker 1 Tore into him. Hom, nom, nom.

Speaker 1 Hey, little buddy, stop biting so hard. Almost going down.

Speaker 1 The toilet was

Speaker 1 last words were.

Speaker 1 You toilet died too.

Speaker 1 You said a mouthful.

Speaker 1 Elvis died on the toilet. Also, toilet died

Speaker 1 of shock.

Speaker 1 Toilet to Elvis. Drop dead.

Speaker 1 My overheard is courtesy of two people looking at the same phone, two fellas, and one guy saying to the other, you can always count on Aldo. Oh, yeah.
Shoes? Yeah, Aldo shoes.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. Wow.
You're in, you're out. Aldo, there for you.

Speaker 1 Do you guys own an Aldo shoe? I have, I think I have a long time ago. Yeah.
They're still around, right? Yeah. They must be.
These guys are fine.

Speaker 1 Never been stronger. When I worked in an office, the first time I worked in an office, I need like, oh, I need office shoes.
And I bought them and they got the.

Speaker 1 Heel came apart from the, or the sole came apart from the upper. Yeah.
I took them to the shoe doctor.

Speaker 1 And and he said, don't bring all those. She's don't buy all those shoes.
They can't fix these. I'll just glue them.
But yeah, yeah, yeah. They're not fixable.
So you can't depend on them.

Speaker 1 It's contrary to what they're doing. Yeah.
I mean, they'll have it. It'll be there.
Yeah. You can buy a shoe from them.
They'll be open.

Speaker 1 Now, we also have overheards sent in to us by people all over the map. Oh, wait.
You still had another one. I had.
Diarrhea Hospital was just the.

Speaker 1 I was just warming up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 This week, an all-new episode of Diarrhea Hospital.

Speaker 1 Nurse!

Speaker 1 It's happening again!

Speaker 1 The doctors are all horny and hooking up, and meanwhile,

Speaker 1 every patient is like, I think it might be diarrhea. You can't fire me, even though I'm

Speaker 1 saying sexist things. I'm this hospital's top diarrhea surgeon.
Or it's like house, and he's trying to figure out what the patient has. Yeah.
Well, the poo is awfully

Speaker 1 watery. Yeah.
And so she's sliding into first, and her pants are going to... Let's consult this chart.
Yeah, let's see if these pants. How tight are these pants?

Speaker 1 Do you feel like they're going to burst?

Speaker 1 It comes floating down the gutter on a piece of bread and butter.

Speaker 1 I'm not familiar with that. I don't know that either.

Speaker 1 It's diarrhea. To be sorry.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Some people think it's gross, but it's really good on toast.
Diarrhea. Well, I don't agree with that at all.

Speaker 1 But you have a second overhead. Yes.
Some people think it's funny, but it's really warm and runny.

Speaker 1 True. True with both statements.
It is funny and it is. I overheard this because I was part of the conversation that was taking place at the time.

Speaker 1 And that's what I just want everyone out there to be a part of the conversation. Get in the mix.
Yeah, yeah. Tell us hashtags.
Tell us a hashtag you can see. Yeah, everybody, tell us a hashtag.

Speaker 1 At us.

Speaker 1 So I was after the blue sky.

Speaker 1 I did a show last night here in Vancouver at the Little Mountain Gallery. Great show.

Speaker 1 Ugram and Umersing opened. Yeah.
It was so much fun. And even Mr.
Brent Butt was in attendance. I couldn't believe it.
He was.

Speaker 1 After the bar closed, we went to a bar nearby, and I was there with Ummer's. He was outside.
His girlfriend and I went in to get a drink.

Speaker 1 We were waiting, and there was a guy in a tank top who locked eyes with us and was like, hey,

Speaker 1 my friend said that she'll give me a bump of Coke if I can convince someone in this bar to let me give them a lap dance. And he looked at Ummer's girlfriend and was like, Do you want a lap dance?

Speaker 1 And she said, Of course, no, I'm good. Then he locked eyes with me.
I was like, how about you? Do you need a black man in your life? And I was like, possibly, but not right now.

Speaker 1 I'm just here for a drink. And then he walked away.

Speaker 1 I like that you left the door open a little bit. Yeah.
Possibly.

Speaker 1 Catch me on another night. Who knows? I've never had someone

Speaker 1 say that to me before about cocaine and a lap dance in a public bar decorated for Halloween. No, me neither.

Speaker 1 I've never been offered a lap dance outside of a strip club financial exchange scenario.

Speaker 1 Yeah, certainly not at just an average bar. Especially not while Shania Twain is playing.
Oh,

Speaker 1 what goes wrong?

Speaker 1 Hell, I feel like a lady. Hell, I feel like a lady these days.

Speaker 1 Heck.

Speaker 1 Fuck, I feel like a woman. Fuck.

Speaker 1 Nurse.

Speaker 1 This week on Diarrhea Hospital. Special guest star, Shania Twain.

Speaker 1 Michael, you'll notice that these are the Shania Twain McDonald's promotional boots keychain.

Speaker 1 I saw she had a little promotional thing. She did a little promotional thing with McDonald's to raise money for McDonald's.

Speaker 1 We're raising money for women who don't have access to McNuggets. And they had a strawberry pie that was to die for.
Really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And some shaker fries that were fine. Okay.
Yeah. Sounds all right.
Sounds like a fun meal. I don't know if I'd take a divorced woman's advice about food personally,

Speaker 1 but thanks, Shania. Yeah, if you couldn't keep Mutlang, you can't keep me.

Speaker 1 Was it, was it she and her husband, Mutt Lang? Yes. They, they,

Speaker 1 he cheated with a woman. They lived in Switzerland or something.
The nanny, I think. I thought the neighbor.
Because the nanny was from Flushing Queens. Flushing Queens, yeah.

Speaker 1 I think it was a neighbor, and then Shania ended up, I don't know, dating or marrying

Speaker 1 the neighbor man. Right.
Well, whose boots have her that under?

Speaker 1 And another drink there.

Speaker 1 Lunch. Popeye.
Her boots.

Speaker 1 The best thing about having some boots.

Speaker 1 You can leave them under your friend's bed.

Speaker 1 Now, we also have overheard sent in to us all from all over the map. If you want to send one in, you could send in it to sby at maximumfund.org.

Speaker 1 Like this this first one: Dalton from Fresno, California, at the zoo, saw a family standing at an exhibit where you can see the animals under the water. Mom says, Look at the seals, they're wrestling.

Speaker 1 The daughter, about eight, says, Yeah, they're playing. Whereas the male and a female, are they mating? Is it like that? And the mom says, I don't know, let's just leave it at wrestling.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, like not today's not the day. We're not going to have the talk.

Speaker 1 Coward mom,

Speaker 1 coward mom. Yeah, she's afraid to have the talk.
As a parent, I will say that

Speaker 1 the talk happens in little bits over the years.

Speaker 1 Drips and drabs. Drips and drabs.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 also

Speaker 1 the animal part of it.

Speaker 1 It's not part of our lives as adults to witness mating.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, you do see dogs hump each other. That's a kind of our

Speaker 1 city dwelling

Speaker 1 animal humpings. If you were, say, you took your daughter to a bar and you saw me getting a laugh dance from a big man,

Speaker 1 how would you explain that to her? Okay, well,

Speaker 1 the man. That guy wants cocaine.

Speaker 1 Say no more.

Speaker 1 Say no more, dad. And that's my friend Mike, and he's, I guess, allowing this guy to do that

Speaker 1 in a moment of weakness.

Speaker 1 This next one comes from Patrick from Edmond, Oklahoma. The other day I was at a grocery store and heard a couple of friends talking about Blade Runner.

Speaker 1 Friend one, it's hard for me to imagine Harrison Ford in a sci-fi. Friend two.

Speaker 1 Star Wars?

Speaker 1 Friend one. Well, I consider that more Americana.

Speaker 1 And in unison, friend two and one both went, ugh.

Speaker 1 I guess if you've only seen him in American Graffiti, you're like, what? Yeah, what the hell?

Speaker 1 The Americana Star Wars. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's got all that folk music in there.

Speaker 1 Everyone lives on a ranch and

Speaker 1 has a pickup truck. Yeah, that's your backend.
The driving pickup truck.

Speaker 1 That's your baker, man. Get your baker.
Are you hungry? Let's go into town and get some hamburgers.

Speaker 1 Pick up my friend Wimpy on the way.

Speaker 1 You speak Polish?

Speaker 1 Yeah, Papa.

Speaker 1 Man, what I wouldn't pay for one of them laser swords.

Speaker 1 Hey, Yoda, why you talk that way? Why are you talking about that, Yoda? Hey, Yoda,

Speaker 1 what's the problem with your syntax? Yoda, you from Alabama or you from Mississippi?

Speaker 1 Yoda, can I use the force over here? You're from Dagobah.

Speaker 1 Hey, Yoda, you're from Dagobah.

Speaker 1 That's cool. That's cool.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, if I was on Darth Vader, I'd give more of these.

Speaker 1 Ain't Vader going to milk friend me, man.

Speaker 1 This last one comes from Jason F. Ben Kenobi and Hobie Wat Kenobi are the same.

Speaker 1 Is that the same kenobi.

Speaker 1 I was coming out of my recreation center one evening after the sun had set, but the whole area was lit up with intense floodlights in the pickleball courts across the street.

Speaker 1 There was a family a few steps behind me, and I overheard the 10-year-old say, Look at the size of my shadow. I've outdone myself.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Check the chart, mom.

Speaker 1 I hated playing soccer growing up, but I loved if we had a night practice at a field with light. Yeah.
You could do stuff with, I'm stepping on your head. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You could see moths spinning around there.

Speaker 1 You could take a pine cone and do the shadow of you pooping it out.

Speaker 1 Or you could actually shit and you could send it just a little bit.

Speaker 1 You could only do that at night.

Speaker 1 Well, in addition to overheards that are written, and we also accept your phone calls and your voice memos, you want to send us a voice memo, then do it to spy at maximumfund.org or call us, leave a message at 1-844-779-7631.

Speaker 1 That's one ugh spypod one, like these people have.

Speaker 4 Hi, Dave, Graham, and awesome guest. This is Eleanor from Suffolk, England, calling in with an overheard.

Speaker 4 This happened at a cafe that I go to quite often after after park run.

Speaker 4 And it's in this little village, like quite a quaint, sort of fairly posh village, pretty nice. Anyway, I was in the queue outside the cafe, and

Speaker 4 a couple of sort of young people came out looking a bit disgruntled and said, Oh, it's just full of posh dickheads.

Speaker 1 And I thought, oh, that's a bit you know, it's a bit unfair.

Speaker 4 But straight after they did that,

Speaker 4 some guy,

Speaker 4 sort of, yeah, some middle-aged man, shouted across to his daughter, who stood behind us,

Speaker 1 Monkey,

Speaker 1 can you get me a latte?

Speaker 1 And I'll bring the Land Rover round.

Speaker 4 Timing was just perfect.

Speaker 1 Yeah, latte still. Yeah, kind of a person who has a latte.
That's still good and sold. Steamed milk means you're in a different tax bracket.

Speaker 1 That's the only people who can afford it.

Speaker 1 She really painted a picture of this town. I mean, I could listen to that accent all day long.
Yeah. Like, what was that?

Speaker 1 Mel B or Mel C? It was a bit, I feel like it was a bit more posh than Mel C. Well, there is, there's not a posh one of them.
I found it.

Speaker 1 I found it scary.

Speaker 1 This is actually the month for scary. Oh, yeah.
So listen to Mel B's solo album. Yeah, listen to I Want You Back by Mel B featuring Missy Misdemeanor Elliott.

Speaker 1 Yes, let's get it to number one by the 31st of October.

Speaker 1 The big thing over in England is their Halloween single.

Speaker 1 All right, here's another overheard.

Speaker 5 Hey, Dave, Graham, and probable guest. This is Ed calling from Colchester in Essex, in England.

Speaker 1 Hello, hello, hello.

Speaker 5 There was an episode with Adam Christie recently where he talked about his overseen of a woman getting changed, but not very discreetly, under a towel.

Speaker 5 And it reminded me when I went to a football match, soccer match recently. After the match had finished, I needed the loo.

Speaker 5 So I went, and as I was washing my hands afterwards, I turned my head and then did a genuine double take because I saw a fully grown man standing up doing a wee in one of the urinals, but with his trousers and underpants fully pulled down like a toddler.

Speaker 5 No freaking way.

Speaker 1 Off I go.

Speaker 1 Why are your pockets soaking wet? Never mind. nothing

Speaker 1 i mean that is amazing yeah yeah i can't i'm trying to remember when i lost that as uh i remember when i realized i didn't have to do that when i was a kid yeah and it absolutely changed my life yeah i was maybe eight

Speaker 1 yeah i remember being a kid and my youngest brother like peeing standing up for the first time and it was the celebration of the day.

Speaker 1 He's doing it, everybody. Oh, by the way, it's British month here on the show.
So, if you're from England, call in with an overheard. British.

Speaker 1 Just how we had two toilet overheards between Mike and myself. Yeah, two British.

Speaker 1 We had two British, but we don't have a third. Oh, boo!

Speaker 1 But keep it up, stiff upper lip, keep coming, Harry on. Harry on.

Speaker 1 Keep

Speaker 1 Prince Harry's Todger warm.

Speaker 1 and away we go.

Speaker 3 Hey, Dave, Graham, and guests.

Speaker 1 This is Camille from Seattle, voice memoing in an overheard.

Speaker 3 I was just walking past this group of three people, and the one guy goes, Well, come over this way and I'll show you guys the bars and stuff.

Speaker 1 And then the guy with him goes, But do they have monster energy?

Speaker 1 He's very European.

Speaker 1 L'Energie Monstre.

Speaker 1 You would say in your country.

Speaker 1 Monster Energy. It tastes better in France.
The recipe is different.

Speaker 1 Yeah, true Monster Energy comes from the monster region of France.

Speaker 1 It's to do with the soil and the sugar. Yeah, the Frankenstein.
You have the Jake Paul Prime drink.

Speaker 1 Have either of you guys tried Prime? Oh, we tried it on the show with Abdul. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They force-fed us Prime. Have not tried it.
No.

Speaker 1 We might still have some in the fridge from a year ago. I had, last year around this time, my mother had a can of Fanta, and it was

Speaker 1 a Betelgeuse. Yeah, it was disgusting.
It was a green sour apple or blue apple, Betelgeuse.

Speaker 1 Fanta, we each had a little taste of it. Absolutely repulsive, absolutely vile.
They were selling 12 packs of it in the grocery store. I was like, this is a mistake.
It's refreshing.

Speaker 1 You crack it open. You chug it.

Speaker 1 It was the most revolting thing.

Speaker 1 It was really disgusting. Made by the Coca-Cola Corporation.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Well, that brings us to the end of this year podcast. Mike,

Speaker 1 where can people find you? I was going to say, Mike, but

Speaker 1 I stuck the landing, and it's fine. And let's go.

Speaker 1 Mike Oliver. What is your deal?

Speaker 1 Hey, it's my name, and that's all I care about. Don't wear it out.

Speaker 1 Tell us all the things. Tell us what you're doing.
You're recording an album on November 28th and 29th in Toronto, Canada. It'll be a long album.
Yeah. Two days.
8:30 p.m.

Speaker 1 Each night, I'm recording a new comedy CD.

Speaker 1 There's a guy who works.

Speaker 1 He works at the mall. He'll press you a CD.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Line up to be announced, but please come out and the tickets will be available very soon, probably by the time this episode goes out.

Speaker 1 Also, follow me on Instagram at MBelazzo and look me up on Blue Sky, but only if you want to. Yeah.
also, I have just confirmed I'm returning for season three of Diarrhea Hospital. Oh, shit!

Speaker 1 I didn't know that season three was on the way.

Speaker 1 They're starting with season three.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 they'll do flashback seasons later on.

Speaker 1 And I will be on as well. It's a very heartbreaking episode.
I play an old man, and my family's all there wondering if they're going to pull the plug, the butt plug.

Speaker 1 We need a plug that is holding it in.

Speaker 1 Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Speaker 1 He's gone. He's gone.
He will still shit for the next couple of hours.

Speaker 1 Oh, well, thank you very much, Michael. Thank you for being our guest.
Thanks for having me live and in person. It's been a dream come for you.
So much fun.

Speaker 1 And thank you, everybody out there, for listening. And hey there, Chewbagga.

Speaker 1 I'm worried about these clones.

Speaker 1 Y'all heard about these clones, Chewbacca?

Speaker 1 This is a Jar Jar Brinks guy. I love everything it does.

Speaker 1 I knew a guy like Jar Jar back in the day. Back in the service.

Speaker 1 I serve like a Jar Jar Brinks.

Speaker 1 You, sir, are no Jar Jar Brinks.

Speaker 1 If you,

Speaker 1 anybody out there, if you've seen Elvis anywhere, please send us a report and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

Speaker 1 Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.